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#just like our lucky student
anonumber123 · 2 months
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currently falling in love with danganronpa all over again because i finally get to play the games after 6 and a half years and to celebrate, i shall post this makoto furry abomination i call fanart that i made when I was 14 because i embrace cringe
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dionysus-complex · 2 years
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wizardlyghost · 5 months
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learned today that last week we made an incredible amount of profit, much more than expected, but this week average sales were down due to being closed for two public holidays so multiple casual employees got their hours cut to make up for the shortfall. i want to bite someone.
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cheekblush · 1 year
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really starting to think someone put the evil eye on me.....
#all 3 of my final lab exams went horribly#today i had an oral exam & my first train was canceled & the second one was 20 minutes late#i arrived 7 minutes late but i was thankfully still on time bc there was still another student in the exam room#my teacher obviously wasn't amused but she was still nice & i got a b which i'm satisfied with#but my teacher seems convinced that i can do much better like a b isn't a good grade?? let me live 😭#i guess i was still lucky bc i was there on time after all & got a good grade but it was soooo stressful i'm glad i didn't cry#and my mom made it so much worse when i told her my train wasn't coming she got all mad at me like it was my fault???#she kept saying i finally need to grow up like girl what does that have to do with the train being canceled? 😭#she stressed me out even more & she actually could've easily driven me to my exam bc i had still had over an hour to get there#but instead she kept berating me and making me feel even worse...#and i kept telling her i'm already stressed enough can't you tell me smth uplifting but she just kept being negative & condescending#it's a little frustrating how all my exams before the finals went so good but now that it really matters everything seems to be going south#but ultimately i just want to pass everything and never set foot into this school again i can't wait for all this to be over 😪#and sometimes i really think the girls i surround myself with at school want me to fail..#like i often miss school bc of mental problems & sometimes i feel like they're mad that i still do well in school??#idk maybe i'm reading too much into it but sometimes it really feels like they're waiting for my downfall#our 'friendship' is very superficial as well & i often feel left out from the group tbh#like last friday i stayed behind a little to talk to a girl & none of them waited for me even though we all go to the train station togethe#but they always wait for the other girls of the group..#i'm not taking this too personally bc i don't see them as good or close friends & i know once school is over i won't see them again anyways#but it does hurt a little bc i'm always the odd one out who struggles to make friends no matter where i am#either way..... please please please just let me pass all of my exams & let everything fall into place in my life 🧿🧿🧿#☁️
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itgetsbetterproject · 2 months
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Just a lil much-needed queer youth joy - we need to talk about these students and allies in Hawai'i!
Students from Campbell- Kapolei Complex Schools used funding from one of our 50 States 50 Grants to give SO much support to their queer communities.
They bolstered their GSA clubs, held community based education events like a Halloween party and craft day, and even got to attend Honolulu Pride - where Hawai'i-raised Bretman Rock showed up for a surprise visit and marched alongside the students to honor them and their work, having attended the same schools themself growing up!
So proud of these students for recognizing what they need in their own communities.
And lucky for y'all...apps are open for the 3rd season of 50 States, 50 Grants right now through April 1, 2024 - if you're a high schooler or middle schooler in the US/DC/territories and have an idea for how you'd use the funds at your own school, don't miss out on applying: 50states50grants.org
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yandereend · 15 days
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Yandere Househusband
How he met his spouse
TW: usual yandere stuff, male yandere, obsessive behavior, yandere wants children
Please keep in mind that English is not my native language thanks💛
P. 1 please let me know if you want more
P.2💛
Doesn’t everyone just hope to one day find the perfect partner and settle down with them, start a family and live happily ever after. Thats exactly what our little Tyler always wanted.
Tyler came from a nice home, he was an only child but his parents had a lot of love for him, and even more for each other. He always admired his parents relationship, his father being the strong breadwinner and his mother being the docile housewife. It was the perfect relationship in Tylers eyes and there was nothing he wanted more than to have that too.
In school Tyler couldn’t care less about his grades, it’s not like he was incapable of learning, quite the opposite but he didn’t see a reason to spend his time learning about math or physics if he wanted to be a househusband anyways. Thats right my dear readers Tyler was just waiting to find the right spouse to settle down with.
So for that reason alone he always made an effort to appear put together and pretty in school, he was lucky to have enough confidence to not let others opinions about his appearance affect him. So he was always helpful, nice and friendly to everyone. But even with his best efforts he couldn’t find the one. Thanks to his obsessive nature he often over thought his love life and if he will end up alone. (Your in 10th grade chill dude)
All that until the greatest day of his life were he met you. You were the new student and he immediately volunteered to show you around, became your partner in assignments and your new best friend.
To be honest you were smitten by Tyler, nobody gave you that much attention before and it wasn’t long before the schools pretty boy was your boyfriend. Tyler was thrilled that everyone in the school knew that you were his and he yours. And oh dear how Tyler admired you, you were so attractive, strong, smart and capable. He was so excited to finally settle down (dudes only 17), after graduation.
And Tyler always wanted to impress you, he would join his mother while cooking making sure to pack your lunch, clean your room while he visited you and even did your laundry. Wait didn’t you have more underwear?
And in exchange he just wanted to be pampered back. He would give you his bag if it was heavy, would depend on you for homework and always expected you to stand up to the jocks when they made fun of his more feminine clothes.
And oh did I mention that Tyler was a little bit manipulative, just a tad bit but I mean why would you need friends, you can go shopping with Tyler. Your family goes on vacation? Ditch them and go with Tylers family instead, they have the money don’t worry. You should also consider his parents, they were so supportive of him and you, his dad even showed you the family business if you wanna inherit it.
So when your graduation day finally came you and Tyler hosted a party together, and after you had a few drinks Tyler dropped on his knee and asked the big question, to which you in your tipsy state happily agreed.
So don’t be surprised when 2 months later Tylers parents bought you two a house (yes they’re that rich), your Tylers dads new intern and your lovely fiancé plans the most romantic wedding ever. And hey, there’s no escaping now darling.
Thanks for reading please let me know if you enjoyed it 💛
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tibby-art · 17 days
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hitman au save me .. its been seven years ..
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haven’t been able to draw/write much of this au lately but i want to write a few little scene snippets i have stored my brain :’D ill include them under cut
=+=
“This better be something good,” Scar muttered to Cub as they stepped out of the elevator. The hitman, while bound to his contract, considered ‘boring’ missions to be a waste of his time.
“I hope so,” Cub hummed. “Hope so.”
The ConVex swung open the doors to the NHO conference room, not bothering to check if their bosses were actually ready for their meeting.
“Holy mother of—! Knock next time, will you?” A man setting files down on the conference table jumped visibly as the doors slammed open.
“The Vex require a dramatic entrance, Beef,” Scar said casually. Cub snickered.
“Sure, whatever.” Beef furrowed his brow, used to this behavior. He didn’t have time for this. “Okay. Doc was supposed to do this briefing, but he’s busy with his machines I guess, because of course he is, so.” He huffed, composing himself. “Your new top-secret project. This one’s a doozy. Have a look.”
Beef slid the folder across the table. The hitmen flipped it open, absorbing its contents with hungry eyes.
What caught their eyes immediately were the photos. The person of interest looked nothing like a powerful crime boss or a dangerous anomaly. A young adult with glasses, dark eyes and short, sandy brown hair stared back at them.
“Who’s this?” Scar raised an eyebrow. Is the NHO asking them to assassinate some normal-looking university student?
“That is Grian,” Beef explained, both hands planted firmly on the table. “Grian has been with us at the NHO for months.”
“I’ve never seen him before,” Scar remarked.
“Grian’s case is top-secret. He’s been staying in high-security, private quarters… as well as our research laboratories.”
“I thought you guys seemed super suspicious lately! I knew they were hiding something from us, Cub,” Scar nudged his partner with a grin. Cub did not budge as his sharp eyes combed through the documents. He hadn’t heard a single word spoken to him.
“Cub? What’s the deal?” Scar asked. He preferred to let Cub read their mission files and summarize it for him, anyways. Dyslexia and top-secret government files were not a great mix. Oh, what would he do without Cub?
“Watchers?” Cub finally spoke, looking up at Beef with a quizzical frown. The other man nodded slowly. “You’re kidding.”
“After months of testing and analysis, we can confirm that this individual is the only currently documented case of a mortal possessing Watcher abilities,” Beef nodded slowly.
Scar had heard whispers of the Watchers only a handful of times. As a vex, he knew plenty about the realm of magic, the divine, the fae, you name it! But Watchers were said to be ancient entities, perhaps as old as time itself. So old that they were widely considered to be a myth.
“So this is not a hit,” Scar said after a moment.
“This is not a hit, Scar, good lord, do not kill this person,” Beef put both hands on his forehead and let them slowly drag down his face.
“Mortal, you say?” Cub raised an eyebrow.
“Yep,” Beef said. “She was a completely normal citizen until he got these abilities in some freak accident. Lucky for everyone involved, the NHO was able to take control of the situation before anything… dangerous happened.”
“So,” Scar narrowed his eyes slightly, “If this isn’t a hit, then what do you want from us?”
Beef sighed. “After months of testing to determine Grian’s situation, the NHO has decided that he is too important to return to life as a normal citizen at this time. Instead, we’d like to utilize his abilities in our goals to maintain order in Hermit City, and we need someone to train her how to be a special agent in the field.”
“You want the ConVex to train a Watcher how to be a hitman,” Cub said with a slight smirk at just how insane that sounded.
“Yep.”
“Huh.” Scar put both hands on his hips. “Well, that’s not what I was expecting.”
“I suppose we could give it a shot,” Cub said. Although the ConVex were bound by a fae contract to work for the NHO, the vex took every opportunity to feign control over their situation. There was no choice here. Beef had given them an order.
“Sure, sure! We are very good at our jobs, after all,” Scar grinned. Whatever happened, good or bad, would at least be entertaining, surely.
“You’ll come back here to meet her tomorrow morning,” Beef instructed. “Hand me that file back and be here by 9, will you?”
“Sure thing,” Cub replied coolly, sliding the file back to the man. Scar couldn’t help but grin wider when he noticed Cub’s hand casually in his pants pocket, some folded white paper barely visible in his grip.
“Don’t be late. I’m serious this time,” Beef called out as the hitmen turned and exited the conference room.
=+=
The conference room was tense that morning. Towards the end of the table sat the NHO - Beef, Doc, Etho, and Bdubs. On one side sat Cub and Scar. Across from them, Grian sat alone.
“So, how about introductions?” Doc clapped his hands together. “Er… Cub and Scar, this is Grian. Grian, this is Cub and Scar. You guys already know the deal. Grian is going to come with you on missions from now on.”
The ConVex hadn’t taken their eyes off of Grian since they entered the room, unable to resist their curiosity. They had both read the files, but still found it hard to believe the person before them was a Watcher. Grian sat rigid in his chair, fiddling with his hands, looking tense and exhausted. She eyed the vex curiously as well.
“Well hello there,” Scar greeted. “I’m Scar, and this is Cub.”
“Hey, hey,” Cub said quietly.
“Hello,” The corner of Grian’s mouth twitched in a possible attempt at a smile.
The three continued to stare at each other until Bdubs cleared his throat.
“Wonderful introduction. Now that we’ve broken the ice, let’s talk about your next mission.” The man picked up a small remote, and the large screen on the wall behind them illuminated.
“Before we send our agents out into the field, we meet like this to discuss the details and ensure that the mission is clearly understood,” Doc explained to Grian, throwing a disapproving glare in the ConVex’s direction.
A lengthy file on some high-profile criminal appeared on the screen, as Bdubs proceeded to read off the information. Scar slumped back in his chair. These mission briefings were the worst. It was time to zone out and have Cub tell him the details later with all the fluff cut out.
At about ten minutes in, Scar yawned absentmindedly.
“Oh, are we boring you, sir?” Doc interrupted Bdubs to shoot a piercing stare at Scar.
“Oh, not at all!” Scar said cheerfully, but slumping in his chair slightly lower.
“As I was saying,” Bdubs continued loudly.
Scar glanced over at Grian. Her eyes quickly darted back to the presentation when they made eye contact. Scar looked over at Cub and found he had still not taken his eyes off of Grian. Hopefully Cub was at least somewhat paying attention, because he sure wasn’t.
Grian continued to fidget with his hands. Scar felt a pang of pity for him. The vex were used to this sort of environment, but according to the NHO, Grian had a completely normal life up until a few months ago. Now suddenly, he gains these terrifying powers and spends months in a top-secret lab having tests run on her all day. Who wouldn’t be overwhelmed?
Scar yawned again, this time more intentionally. He earned another death glare from Doc, but Bdubs droned on. He glanced over and saw Grian rubbing a hand on his cheek to help hide a grin.
The art of annoying your boss was a delicate one. Timing is everything. Let enough time pass until they’ve forgotten, or they think you’ve stopped, to continue the game. Scar lets about ten minutes pass before his next yawn, bigger this time.
“Quit it,” Beef hissed. Even Etho glanced over. Doc kept his eyes on the screen, but his jaw was clenched. Grian let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.
Five minutes later, Cub clears his throat rather loudly. Bdubs stutters over his words for a second, but because Cub is Cub, none of the NHO seems to be able to tell if that was a deliberate cough or not, and they decide to ignore it. Cub shows no emotion.
After an hour that felt like an eternity of Bdubs explaining every possible detail about the case, it seemed to be almost concluded. That was, until a rather loud yawn was heard throughout the conference room.
“WILL YOU LET ME FINISH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE?!” Bdubs finally erupted, whipping around in his chair to face Cub and Scar.
The hitmen stared back blankly. They glanced over across the table, and Bdubs followed their gaze, where Grian sat with both arms over her head in a large stretch.
“Sorry,” Grian said simply when all eyes were on him, lowering his arms. “Just had to stretch a bit.” He stared back at Bdubs innocently.
The NHO stood there, confused. Bdubs was at a loss for words, unable to get a read on the new recruit. He sighed and turned back to the screen. “Well, regardless, I think we’ve about summed things up,” he grumbled.
Scar made eye contact with Grian once again. The two cracked a smile at one another for a second, too quick for the NHO to notice.
Scar had a feeling that him, Cub and Grian were going to get along just fine.
=+=
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lewisvinga · 9 months
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thank you, nurse ! | lando norris x nursing student! reader
summary; everyone thought it was strange yn never made it to races until it’s finally revealed why
fc; belajuliana_
note; as a future nursing student, i needed this
nclex is the exam you take after finishing the nursing program to become a registered nurse !!!!
masterlist !
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liked by landonorris, bsfusername, and 120,038 others!
yourusername: post-night clinicals, at least it was w bsfusername !
bsfusername: we better get on our professors good side after doing night clinicals 3 weeks in a row😒😒
yourusername: night clinicals are a vibe
bsfusername: they really are especially with a mcdonald’s iced coffee
yourusername: ‘murica 🦅🦅
username: omg
username: SHES A NURSING STUDENT
username: so pretty omg
landonorris: nurse help!! i’m hurt, i think you need to check it out 😏😉
yourusername: i’m not registered yet sorry😕😕😕
landonorris: babe, pls play along 💔💔
yourusername: SORRY BABE, i can heal u quickly 😉
username: she’s pretty, smart, and helps people in need , she really got y’all
username: clinicals are NO joke, no wonder she couldn’t make it to any races
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liked by username, username, and 349,937 others!
f1wags: Lando Norris and his girlfriend, Y/n L/n, were spotted at dinner just 2 days before the Silverstein Grand Prix!
username: the way she looks at him🥹🥹
username: everyone doubting her love for him when she smiles at him like THAT
username: he deserves better
username: like you?? LMFAOO
username: they’re so cute what
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,748,927 others!
landonorris: P2 and a 🏆 at my home race !!!!!!!! ❤️you guys are crazyyyyyyyyy 💙 extra thank you to my favorite nurse for nursing me back to health 💓💓
tagged; yourusername
yourusername: do not be fooled everyone, it was just a cut which i healed with a hello kitty band aid!
landonorris: like i said, thank you, nurse !
yourusername: so so so so proud of u🥹🥹
liked by landonorris !
username: lando p2 is everything
username: LANDO PODIUM AT HIS HOME RACE!!
mclaren: 🧡
username: he fr loves her
username: ‘my favorite nurse’ ME AND WHO😫😫
username: the clip of her in mclaren’s garage🥹
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 394,038 others!
yourusername: p2 for my love 🧡🧡 so unbelievably proud of you! here’s to many more podiums! i love you so much🧡🧡
tagged; landonorris
landonorris: AWHHH
landonorris: i love you so much , thank you for being my lucky charm and for nursing me back to health w my paper cut🧡🧡🧡💓💓💓
yourusername: i’ll nurse you back to health anytime 💗💗
oscarpiastri: don’t let lando fool you he squealed
yourusername: when doesn’t he squeal
username: omg they’re so cute
username: laying on the highway tonight
username: i want to know what manifestations yn did bc they’re ADORABLE
yourusername posted to their story !
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liked by yourusername, bsfusername, and 1,203,938 others!
landonorris: guess who is dating an official!! registered pediatric nurse!!!! congratulations on passing the nclex my love. so proud of you for making it through nursing school. i love you so much, Y/n L/n R.N.
tagged; yourusername
yourusername: couldn’t have done it w/o our facetime sessions 🥹🥹
landonorris: making sure you study hard, R.N!!
yourusername: R.N. does sound nice 😌
yourusername: i love love love love you!!!!
landonorris: and i love love love love love you!!!
yourusername: happy to nurse my favorite driver back to health any day
landonorris: searching up on how to purposely get sick 🧐🧐🧐🧐
username: OMGOMGOMG
username: she was busy in nursing school that’s why she couldn’t visit 😫😫
username: she helps KIDS you can’t hate her 😫
username: idk if i want him or her
oscarpiastri: congrats!!! now can you visit lando more often so i don’t have to hear him whining all the time!!!
yourusername: i’ll try😌
landonorris: i don’t whine that much !!
carlossainz55: enhorabuena! [congratulations]
yourusername: gracias ❤️🧡 [thank you]
username: lando’s girlfriend being a nurse is everything
username: lando won the lottery omggg
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violetclarity · 1 year
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in a ~fun~ turn of events I think this year I hate my job not because of the *gestures to conservative catholic institution* everything but because the ratio of direct coworkers whom I like vs. dislike has gone from 2:1 to 1:2 and I am LOSING IT
#like that post about how much time you spend with your coworkers vs. friends and family over the course of your life?#that's been making the rounds on instagram?#crying bc why do I spend 8 hours a day with people who I DO NOT LIKE PERSONALLY and have NOTHING IN COMMON WITH#even the coworker I do like is in thin fucking ice okay!!#like it would be more accurate to say that I dislike her the least of my coworkers#I mean we get along but also she's very fatphobic and not as liberal as she thinks she is and so privileged & unaware of it#(the problem with all my coworkers tbh)#(violently flashing back to the time I pointed out that one coworker was lucky her sons wouldn't have to take out student loans for college)#(and she tried to tell me she understood how I felt bc she'd had to take out a second mortage ON HER HOUSE to avoid grad loans)#(she OWNED A HOME and was able to use that investment to fund her grad school and she thinks that's the same?? vom)#anyway this post is brought to you by the fact that one of my coworkers put up a starbucks tree#and I've decided that it's representative of everything I dislike about her#and all our ideological differences#it is mere feet away from my computer I have to see it all. day.#I want to smash every ornament on that tree is 2g#sorry if I sound violent I had to bite my tongue today while someone told me they use amazon for the convenience#even though jeff bez0s is shit!!#just like I bite my tongue all! day! every! day!#brb screaming forever
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kitscutie · 7 months
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snow and roses: part II (coriolanus snow x fem!reader)
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pairing: coriolanus snow x reader
warnings: none except the nature of the Hunger Games franchise! later on in the series there will be hints to dark!coriolanus snow and lots of angst so be prepared!
summary: you and coriolanus have been dating in secret for months, all it takes is one songbird for everything to come into the light.
a/n: part two is here! hope you enjoy, remember requests are open and there are more parts to come :) p.s - all of the love on part one means the world!
word count: 2.3k
find part one here!
join my taglist here!
Over the past eighteen years you couldn't picture a single day you and Coriolanus hadn't spent together. Birthdays, school days, even throughout the war, you spent time together.
Today was different. He hadn't met you this morning and you couldn't help but miss his presence. His character enveloped a room, always making it clear he was there without really having to say a word. You found it comforting, others found it threatening.
The Tributes arrived early this morning and it was something you had dreaded, very soon you would actually have to meet Wovey. Mentor her, care for her, and it riddled you with guilt knowing that it was all a challenge. Her life was a challenge to you.
Coryo's presence could've softened that burden and yet, he wasn't here. No warning no explanation he just didn't show.
"Where's Snow?" Asked Arachne as you all stood outside your classroom at the Academy, preparing for yet another lecture from Casca.
"I wouldn't know." You shrugged, secretly seething at your boyfriends disregard to tell you where he was going before he disappeared.
"Oh please. You two are practically attached at the hip." Scoffed Festus. Fixing his hair in a small compact mirror which he carried around in his bag.
"I heard he's with his songbird." Mock sang Felix. Knowing it would most likely piss you off to the high heavens.
"And where did you hear that, Felix?" You asked, tilting your head in questions, eyebrows furrowed. While Felix was a tease he was not a liar.
"Lucky's newest interview. He was in the zoo with the tributes, I mean it was almost comedic. But, I've got to say the most interesting part was when they held hands." He said. You couldn't hide the anger on your face no matter how hard you tried and it was only made worse when you spotted Sejanus' sympathetic glance from over his shoulder.
"Well, he is very motivated to win the Prize I suppose." You murmured, now embarrassed, even if they weren't aware he was your boyfriend he was supposed to be your closest ally and here he was prancing around with his new decoration.
Much to your pleasure the large wooden door swung open, everybody filing into the room and taking their assigned seats, the one next to yours empty.
His seat.
Finally, minutes later he entered looking rather sheepish. If he was ashamed you were glad, he should be.
"Your little excursion is in violation of about five Academy rules Mr Snow." Spoke Casca. Deep down you were pleased that he had broken rules, pleading in your mind that this would prevent any further ventures. "Amongst them, endangering a Capitol student."
"Who?" He asked, stopping in his tracks as though he was insulted by the accusation.
"You. I'm moving for the Game makers to disqualify you as a mentor immediately." Casca answered. Guiltily you were happy, you just hoped your face didn't show it as Coriolanus sat down next to you.
"You said that we had to get our tributes to perform, not that we had to stay away." He said leaning against the banister of your seats.
"I don't believe holding their hands was in that agreement." You snarled from behind him and you immediately regretted it as he turned to you, hurt that you weren't defending him.
"Right you are Miss L/N." Casca replied.
"Holding her hand, introducing her to people. You make it look as if were one in the same as those animas." Arachne added. You didn't agree with that, they were very much the same as us but his effort to care for her wounded you internally.
"Coriolanus didn't show those people anything they didn't already know. That the tributes are human beings. Just like us. That's why nobody wants to watch the Games, because people know deep down, that winning a war ten years ago doesn't justify starving peoples children." Sejanus added, yet you couldn't help but feel like Coriolanus didn't truly agree, he just wanted to be let loose for his wrong doings.
"Snow fell. Down in the cage, it fell down in the cage but it landed-" Doctor Gaul appeared, frightening you and many others. She had an atmosphere similar to Coriolanus, threatening and brazen. Maybe that should've scared you more than any District Twelve girl, yet it didn't.
"On stage." Snow finished her riddle without hesitation.
"You're good at games. Maybe one day you'll be a Game maker like me." She grinned evilly. You didn't miss Coriolanus' smile when hearing this and something deep within you stirred.
"Only if the games continue at all." Casca replied.
"Oh they'll continue, with performances like young Mr Snow in that zoo. In fact I came to ask your star Mentor a question. What are the Hunger Games for?" She said confidently.
"They're to punish the Districts for their uprising. To commemorate the end of the war." Coriolanus answered thou hit felt scripted and to some extent it was. That very answer was drilled into your heads from the moment you entered the Academy.
Sejanus began to discredit the Games, calling them what they are. Cruel. Doctor Gaul didn't like that.
"Perhaps the Capitol students are ill suited to be mentoring tributes, perhaps the Games time has passed." Casca said and something about it told you he was on Sejanus' side, that he didn't agree with the very games he created.
"Dean Highbottom is wrong. My classmates too. Maybe Sejanus is onto something, maybe we should be viewing those tributes as human beings." Coriolanus spoke and you tugged at his shirt for him to sit down, to stop defending this inhumane act but he slapped your hand away. "I mean you saw those kids in the zoo, they just wanted to get to know Lucy Gray. If we need people to watch we should be letting them get closer to the tributes before the games. Make the stakes personal." You felt embarrassed by his every word. Embarrassed by his obsession with Lucy Gray and embarrassed that he believed in these games.
"Who will watch the games if they care what happens to the tributes?" Asked Doctor Gaul and even to you, the answer was obvious. Everyone.
"Everyone." Answered Snow, predictable. "If they thought the tribute they cared about had a chance of winning, people need someone to root for and against. We need them to invest. If we bend a few Capitol laws, we could even have them place bets." He continued his proposal.
"You forget you're talking about real people Coriolanus, not just characters in your wider game." You said, eyes cold as he once again turned to you seeming betrayed, you no longer cared.
"Look I know Lucy Gray may not win in the arena but if you give her a chance, I would bet the Plinth Prize that she can win peoples attention." He ignored you, instead once again talking about Lucy. You felt sick by his obsession, betrayed. How long had you been the one to care for him, to root for him and here he was digging a dagger in your heart.
"I would like you to write up a proposal of these thoughts tonight Mr Snow." Doctor Gaul stated. "Perhaps your classmate can help you?" She smirked towards you in question.
You shook your head while keeping your eyes trained on the front of the room, you refused to be apart of his play for Lucy Gray's victory.
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You sat alone at lunch, thinking. What was going on between him and that girl and why was he suddenly the Games biggest supporter. You understood the Plinth Prize meant a lot to him. That it would open doors but this was a step too far.
"Y/N, a pleasure." A voice you knew all too well said as it took the seat across from you.
"Coriolanus." You answered bluntly before taking another bite of your sandwich. He could tell something was off from the moment you used his full name, usually calling him Coryo.
"What was that little show back there, hm?" He asked, blue eyes a weapon as he glared at you. Something you had never been on the receiving end of before.
"I could ask you the same thing." You replied, putting your food down to glare back.
"It's a competition, Y/N. One which could change my life, I know you don't have to worry about winning but this means everything to me. You know that. I know the games are animalistic but they'll go on either way-." He defended though you cut him off.
"That's what you think I'm upset about?" You said, exaggerating the 'that's'.
"It's not?" He asked, now curious.
"I don't know, Coriolanus maybe I'm upset about you being obsessed with Lucy Gray. I mean, she's all you've spoken about since the Reaping, you held her hand! Risked your life for her!" You exclaimed in angry, drawing attention to your table.
"Oh what, so your jealous?" He smirked, clearly amused by your outrage.
"Jealous does little to describe what I am feeling, Snow. This is another level. When will you realise that that girl is using you, just as you are using her. Nothing more nothing less. I however am still here, I have been there for years, for you!" You shouted once more and he grew agitated as the room stared, grabbing your wrist with unnecessary aggression to pull your face down to this.
"Don't make a scene Y/N. You're acting like a little girl." He gritted out through his teeth.
"Fuck you, Coriolanus Snow." You replied equally quiet and with menace laced in your words. You saw his face change, as if the anger once there was replaced by a mask of sympathy. It felt ingenuine.
"Come on, Y/N. You know I love you right? I have for how long now, years." He said with kind eyes.
"Don't kid yourself." You scoffed. Though his face stayed the same his grip on your wrist tightened, leaving pink indentations.
"I love you, Y/N. Okay? Not Lucy Gray. She's my tribute just like you said, nothing more nothing less." He once again reassured, never giving up his hold.
Finally the fire in your heart gave out to him and his stupid Snow charm. It never failed to make you swoon and hearing those three words, ones you gave to each other not very often, you just wished to be in his arms.
"Okay." You retreated.
"Okay and?" He asked.
"I love you too." You answered, relieved when he let your wrist go, you were quick to move it below the table, scared to see what he had done to your wrist.
"Good. Now come on, I'm going to give some food to Lucy Gray, strengthen her, I assume you would like to meet Wovey." He said, getting up from his chair. You didn't want to meet Wovey, not really, scared to look her in the eyes. You did however want to meet his pretty little Songbird.
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You walked together, hand in hand towards the zoo. He was back to his caring self after the flash of rage you previously saw. It wasn't the first time that side of him had flashed and you knew it wouldn't be the last but moments like these made it all worth it.
Your relationship was secret, but you felt no need to hide it anymore, now determined to show he was yours. Show everyone.
At first you stuck by his side, even when he spoke to Lucy Gray and you felt yourself flinch as she rushed over.
"That for us?" She asked as he held food out to her. Watching as she gave some to her fellow District Twelve Tribute, Jessup. "And who might this be?" She asked, eyeing up your joint hands.
"Wovey's mentor." He answered, without a second thought. Though when you squeezed his hand, his answer changed. "My girlfriend, I mean. Y/N L/N."
"Well Miss L/N, you sure do have the cream of the crop here with Mr Snow. He's a lovely young man." She smiled at you, you couldn't tell if it was your own paranoia telling you it was ingenuine or if she really didn't feel happy for you.
"Oh, and don't I know it." You smiled back. "You've equally had such luck I must say. He's a fine mentor." You added, patting his chest as you boosted his ego.
"Well, thank you." He said, kissing your forehead. "But uh, could you give me and Lucy Gray a moment, Mentor to Tribute?" He asked and that once burnt out flame of jealousy flickered within you as you left to speak to Wovey. You watched as they now leant against the fence to talk, lips inches away, crouched together.
Wovey was a sweet young girl, grateful as you gave her food and she shared it with Bobbin who she had been sat with, you didn't mind her sharing seeing as some Mentors has made little effort to offer any help.
You patted her shoulder through the fence, promising your support to help her reach the end of the games though it seemed she didn't care about winning and you admired her bravery.
A scream cut said conversation short as you looked to see Arachne's neck being stabbed with a smashed glass bottle. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
You and Coriolanus both rushed over. Even if she was mean and bitchy she was your friend for the last five years and you had grown fond of the girl.
You whispered reassurances as she cried, placing pressure on her neck until you were literally dragged off of her by Peacekeepers, watching as her final breath left her body.
"No, no, no." You whispered with glassy eyes as her body became smaller and smaller on the ground - until it was too far into the distance to see.
It was clear the games had officially begun, and the tributes were winning.
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rubyreduji · 6 months
Text
The Christmas Boyfriend — yjh
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summary: when you tell your mom the little white lie that you have a boyfriend, you don’t expect it to evolve into bringing your friend with benefits home for christmas. what can go wrong?
tags: fluff, smut (minors dni), fwb, fake dating, college!au warnings: ok the smut is likes less than 2k words of this fic tbh, conversations about birth control, mention of unsafe sex, explicit sex, oral, fingering, praise, cum eating, creampies wc: 12.7k an: guys im not used to writing jeonghan so if his characterization is off im so sorry fdsak anyways writing this made me want to go ice skating :((
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“Sweetie! I’m so excited for you to come home for Christmas!” Your mom calls over the phone.
“Yeah Mom, me too,” you say with half sincerity.
“Oh and make sure you bring that cute boyfriend with you too! I want to meet him, you’ve told me almost nothing about him!”
You pause. Boyfriend? Boyfriend.
Oh shit.
“Hey Mom?” It was the end of summer and you were about to go back to university.
“Yes sweetie?” Your mom was bustling around the kitchen getting ready for dinner.
“Do you think that I could go on birth control?” These worlds made your mother stop.
“Birth control? Why do you need to go on birth control? I know your cycle is normal, so who are you having sex with? Oh please don’t tell me you’re sleeping around,” your mom huffed exasperatedly.
“I’m not!” Technically you weren’t sleeping around. You were sleeping with one person, repeatedly. “I have a boyfriend Mom, and we use protection, but it would be nice to have an extra layer of protection.” It was…somewhat the truth. You tried to use protection but every once in a while you…didn’t. You’d taken a lot of Plan B lately.
“A boyfriend! Why didn’t you tell me? Tell me all about him!” The problem is…you didn’t have a boyfriend. You had a Jeonghan who periodically fucked you during the school year. You hadn’t seen him all summer but you knew that as soon as the school year started again you guys would start right back up.
“His name is Jeonghan, he’s studying business. We’ve been dating since the beginning of the year.”
“Oh tell me more! I want to know, please. I have to meet him immediately.”
And that’s how you spent the rest of the day making up half-lies about Jeonghan and convincing your mother to let you on birth control.
You honestly forgot you told your mom that lie, and now it’s coming back to bite you in the butt. You hadn’t brought him up to your mom since and now you either have to tell her you guys broke up or you have to convince Jeonghan to spend part of winter break with your family pretending to be your boyfriend. Knowing your mom, the latter will be easier.
“You told your mom WHAT?” You decide to tell Jeonghan after you guys finish having sex.
“I told her…that we’re dating.”
“Why?”
“You came inside me two minutes ago, you really wanna ask why? She would be so upset if she knew I was in a friends with benefits situation but if I tell her I have a boyfriend that I trust and care for, she’ll let me go on birth control.”
“Why did you have to ask her to go on birth control?” Jeonghan asks as you start to get dressed.
“I’m a college student Jeonghan, birth control isn’t free and if I ask my mom I can put it on her insurance. C’mon can you do this one thing for me? My mom is a great cook and it only has to be for a little bit, only one day really!”
“This really means that much to you?”
“Yes.” You’re practically making puppy dog eyes at him now.
“Well, you know, I just so happen to need somewhere to stay during winter break. So…I guess I’ll be staying with you and putting on the best show for your mom. You’re lucky I think you’re cute.”
You just grin at him.
“Sweetie! You’re home! Honey come here, our daughter is home!” Your mom runs out of the house to greet you, scooping you up into a hug. “Oh, oh, is this him?” She glances over your shoulder excitedly to where Jeonghan is standing behind you by the car.
“Mom, this is Jeonghan…my boyfriend.” You have to force the last bit out. 
“Oh he’s so handsome! It’s nice to finally meet you Jeonghan, I’m so happy you’re joining us for the holidays.”
“Thank you for allowing me to stay with you.” Jeonghan accepts your mom’s hug.
“Of course! You’ve been dating my daughter for almost a year now, anything you need we’ll be here.”
“Is that them?” A booming voice comes from the house. You look over to see your dad and brother standing on the porch.
“Honey, come meet Jeonghan! Look how handsome he is!”
You sigh, it’s already going to be a long four weeks.
“I’m…sorry about them,” you tell Jeonghan when you’re finally alone in your room, where your mother insisted Jeonghan stay with you. For someone who disapproves of casual sex, she sure does support ‘healthy love making between couples’. You don’t even want to think about her and your dad.
“I can’t say you didn’t warn me,” Jeonghan chuckles. “They all seem really nice though.”
“They’re…something,” you mutter. “I hope you don’t mind sharing a bed. Once again I’m really sorry about my mom.”
“It’s fine, I’m serious, stop stressing out. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before,” he jokes. 
You roll your eyes. “That reminds me. We have to lay down some ground rules.”
“Ground rules?” Jeonghan cocks an eyebrow curiously, and a bit skeptical. 
“Yes. I know it sounds silly and cliche, but really, we need to talk about it.”
“I don’t know what the big deal is. We just have to pretend to be a couple, that’s not hard. Hugging, kissing, all that gooey stuff.”
“What if my parents ask about our relationship? Are you sure you’re okay being coupley with me all the time? I-”
“Babe,” Jeonghan starts, “stop worrying. You make it seem like you have zero faith in me. Trust me, I can be the best fake-boyfriend you’ll ever need.” You scrunch your nose up at him calling you ‘babe’ in a non-sexual setting, but you guess you’ll have to get used to it.
“Still…if you even want to back out, just tell me and we can make up some excuse for you having to leave or-”
Jeonghan cuts you off once more, “Stop worrying. It’s the holiday season, let’s have fun! If your parents ask about our relationship just leave it to me.”
You stare at Jeonghan unsure, all too familiar with his antics. You can tell Jeonghan is about to counter your look when all of a sudden your door is flung open.
“Mom said dinner is ready!” Your brother announces.
You admit defeat on having this conversation with Jeonghan, leading him downstairs to where everyone is taking their place around the dinner table. The table feels just slightly cramped with the addition of the chair added for Jeonghan squeezed in next to yours. The top of dinner is quiet besides a few “could you pass the salt” or “this tastes great Mom” thrown in. It isn’t until your dad is going in for seconds when your mom speaks up.
“So, Jeonghan, tell me about yourself. Pumpkin has barely told us anything about you.” 
You internally groan at the childhood nickname your family still insists on using for you, and you hope it goes unnoticed by Jeonghan. Unfortunately, not much slips past him.
“Pumpkin?”
“A terrible nickname from when I was little,” you explain, slightly glaring at your mother.
“I think it’s cute.” You so desperately want to smack the smug look off Jeonghan’s face.
“It is cute,” your mom interjects. “It’s based on these adorable photos we took during her first fall. We did a photoshoot and put her in a pumpkin, it was just darling. Remind me later and I’ll pull out the photobooks.” Your mom winks at Jeonghan and you’re starting to realize just how big of a mistake this was. “Now, back to what I was saying. Tell me about yourself, Jeonghan.”
“Well there’s not much to say. I’m a business major, I enjoy sports and spending time with my friends.”
“He’s an amazing singer,” you jut in. You’re not sure why. Maybe it’s because Jeonghan is selling himself short. “He’s a part of the University’s choir. And he models for the fashion students.” You can see Jeonghan blush under your praise.
“Aw, that���s nice. And how did you two meet?”
“We met through a mutual friend, and then ended up having a class together the following semester. First time we met I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I’m just lucky she gave me the time of day.” Jeonghan makes a show of grabbing your hand in his, clasping them together on the table. Even though you know it’s for show, the display makes your stomach flip a bit.
You do take note that his story is true for the most part. At least the part about you two meeting and then sharing a class. You’re pretty sure the part about you being “the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen” is just fluff to appease your mom. It does the trick though, as your mom coos at Jeonghan’s words.
She continues to ask Jeonghan questions about himself and your relationship, and Jeonghan keeps delivering. He tells her stories about him attempting to flirt with you and you being too oblivious to realize. You roll your eyes the whole time, knowing what he’s actually talking about. The three weeks he spent continuously trying to hit on you before you finally agreed to go on a date with him. 
Speaking of the date, Jeonghan also tells that story. In real life what happened with Jeonghan invited you over to watch a movie, you both got a little tipsy, and ended up fucking right on his couch. Neither of you asked for a second date, but did start to booty call each other, so that’s something. The way Jeonghan tells it to your mom is a lot more…wholesome.
“We went out to see a movie, her choice of course.” Lie, Jeonghan forced you to watch The Notebook. “Then afterwards I didn’t want the date to end so we got dessert and went back to my apartment. We spent the whole night talking before she eventually fell asleep on my couch. It was adorable.”
“Oh stop,” you mutter, trying your best to sound playful.
“It’s true. The way your nose twitches when you’re dreaming and the little huffs you let out. How can I find that as anything but the cutest thing ever?” Jeonghan then leans in and presses a quick kiss to your warm cheeks.
You’re aware you do those things in your sleep, it’s something you’ve done ever since you were little, but you weren’t aware that Jeonghan knew about them. Everytime you sleep over at Jeonghan’s, or he spends the night at yours, he always complains in the morning about how you elbowed him in your sleep all night. 
“Oh you two are just so cute!” Your mom exclaims. She then turns to you, “How dare you keep him away from us for so long.”
Your brother is obviously doesn't care for the topic of conversation and excuses himself from the table. Your mom realizes that dinner is now officially over and she and your father start to clean up the table.
“Don’t go far, Jeonghan. I need to show you those baby pictures!”
“Noooo.” You tug on Jeonghan’s sleeve, like it might somehow convince him to go back upstairs with you, but of course not. Of course Jeonghan wants to see all of your baby photos.
You know this shouldn’t really bother you this much. Everyone has baby photos. The issue is you were an extremely unphotogenic baby. Your brother has maybe some of the cutest baby photos you’ve ever seen. Not you. You look like a gremlin, to the point your baby photos became a meme between you and your friends in high school.
Your mom makes a pot of coffee for all of you before she’s shuffling into the living room and pulling out the large fifty page photo album of you from newborn to age four. Jeonghan follows suit and you reluctantly take your place next to him on the couch. 
The first few pages aren’t bad. They’re all photos of you still in the hospital when you were first being held by your mom and dad, swaddled in a cute little pink blanket that you know your mom has stored somewhere up in the attic. 
The first bad photo doesn’t show up until a few pages in, after you were brought home. It’s a photo of you crying, your face all scrunched up in an ugly expression. You think it’s hideous but it’s one of your dad’s favorite baby photos of you. Jeonghan chuckles slightly and you shove him lightly.
Shortly after that the infamous pumpkin photo shows up. It’s you sitting in a pumpkin, a stupid, blank look on your face as you chew on the pumpkin. There’s a little orange beanie on your head that’s just a little too big for your head.
“Aww, look at that little pumpkin,” Jeonghan giggles.
“Shut up,” you grumble, glaring down at the picture.
Unfortunately for you, it only gets worse from there. There’s the photos from when you were two years old and constantly had messy hair and a stupid expression on your face. And then the photos of you at three when all you would do was pout at the camera. Then the photos from when you were four and somehow every photo was taken at just the wrong second.
Your mother and Jeonghan have a great time, cooing at each photo, your mother giving an anecdote every once in a while. It isn’t until near the end that Jeonghan finally looks over at you, on his other side. He smiles at the slight pout on your face.
“C’mon babe, stop pouting.” Jeonghan scoots closer to you, sliding his arm around your waist and pulling you into him. Even if it’s just for show, you can’t help but admit it is slightly comforting. Jeonghan then leans in and whispers to you. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You really are the cutest little baby. I mean that’s not a surprise, you’re still cute, aren’t you baby?”
Your face heats up at his words. You’re not sure why he’s laying it on so thick when you’re sure your mom can’t even hear him. You suddenly stand, trying to subtly get distance between you and your fake boyfriend.
“Well, it’s getting late and I’m tired after all of that traveling today. We’ll see you in the morning Mom.”
Jeonghan finally allows you to pull him back upstairs and into your room. You let out a deep sigh as soon as the door is closed and you move to start getting ready for bed.
“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asks you as he changes into his pajamas as well. “I didn’t make you uncomfortable or cross any boundaries did I?”
“No, no, you’re fine,” you assure him. “You’re just doing what any boyfriend would, so keep it up, actually.”
“Okay…” Jeonghan says, the skepticism in his voice. You don’t say anything else though and Jeonghan drops it, thankfully.
You both crawl into bed and you try not to think about how you can feel his body so close to yours. As you close your eyes you can’t help but think you’re not sure how you’re going to make it through the rest of the break.
“We’re going Christmas tree shopping today!” Your mom announces cheerfully when you and Jeonghan make your way downstairs for breakfast. 
“You guys haven’t gotten a tree yet?” You ask.
“We were waiting for you,” your mom explains. “So we could go as a family and then decorate it together.”
After breakfast your whole family piles into your dad’s car and you take off to the Christmas tree lot. There’s Christmas music playing on the radio as you drive and you can hear Jeonghan softly sing along.
You’ve always liked Jeonghan’s voice. You find his high, light voice angelic and you could listen to him sing all the time. You tune out the chatter of your parents in favor of listening to Jeonghan the whole ride there. A part of you is glad that only you can hear him, taking this as a moment for yourself. 
As soon as the car parks and you all climb out of the car, Jeonghan reaches over and grabs your hand in his. You look over at him to see him smiling at you and you smile back. There’s a bite in the air as you two walk through the trees and you appreciate the warmth of Jeonghan’s hand in yours.
“Oh, what a darling couple,” you hear an old couple whisper as they walk past you two. 
“Hear that? We look darling together, darling” Jeonghan jokes after they’re out of earshot. You roll your eyes but there’s a smile on your face as you playfully knock your elbow into Jeonghan’s side.
You and Jeonghan continue to walk around, looking at trees, until your father finds you two to tell you that your bother found the perfect tree. Your brother is bouncing around when you three make your way to the tree and he looks at you and Jeonghan proudly.
“Good choice, little man,” you tell him.
“Yeah, looks like a great tree,” Jeonghan agrees, which makes your brother smile even more.
Your family is standing in line to pay for the tree when your mom gasps. You look over at her to see her giddy face as she points up. You glance up to see the sprig of mistletoe places directly over you and Jeonghan’s heads.
“Well look at that,” Jeonghan says amused. “It looks like we have to kiss. By the laws of Christmas of course.”
“By the laws of Christmas?”
“Of course. I don’t want to end up on Santa’s naughty list,” Jeonghan teases you. You shake your head, smiling.
“If you say so.” You lean in and press a kiss to Jeonghan’s lips.
You’ve never actually kissed him outside of having sex, but it comes surprisingly natural to you. Jeonghan wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in closer for just a moment, before pulling away. The tip of his nose and ears are pink and there’s a slight twinkle in his eye and he grins at you.
“You have cooties now,” your little brother announces from beside you and you and Jeonghan both burst out laughing. 
On the ride back home, your whole family sings along to the radio, and your mother compliments Jeonghan’s voice, which makes him flustered.
After you get back home, your dad and Jeonghan struggle to get the tree to fit through the door as you and your mom snicker at them. After they finally get it into the living room, you, Jeonghan, and your brother get to work decorating it. When your brother asks why your parents aren’t helping, your dad says he did all the work by paying for it.
The three of you (mostly you and Jeonghan) spend way too much time untangling lights before you string them up, finally allowing you to get to the good part. Your family’s ornaments are stored in a large plastic tub and you get to work digging through them. You’re not sure how many your family owns, but you’re sure it’s enough to cover three trees in whole. The tub isn’t organized in any way and you do your best to pick and choose which ones you think will make the best decorations.
Jeonghan kneels down beside you and starts to look through the tub as well.
“These ornaments are cute,” Jeonghan comments as he picks up a small stuffed animal snowman with a loop attached to it. He reaches over to place it on the tree.
“Yeah, it’s a part of my grandparents’ gift to us every year. An ornament for both of us.” You pick up a decoration with a family picture on it and you hang it up.
“You were so small in that one,” Jeonghan says, referencing the picture you just added to the tree.
You glance over the photo. You’re maybe five or six, way before your brother was born. You’re squished between your parents on a bench with Christmas lights behind you. You’re bundled up in a puffy winter jacket and a hat is squashed into your head. It’s a sweet photo.
“You know, this is all quite unfair,” you tell him. “You’re going to have to show me your childhood photos at some point now.”
“Now I don’t know if that was part of the deal.”
“Well we might just have to make it so. I’d love to see tiny little Hannie.”
“Maybe I could strike up a deal…”
You’re about to make a comment on Jeonghan’s sneaky ways, when you feel a tap on your leg. You look down to see your brother standing next to you with a sled shaped ornament in his hand.
“I need help putting this on the tree.”
“I got you buddy.” Jeonghan moves over to pick your brother up, lifting him up so your brother can place the ornament on the tree.
The moment is oddly sweet and when Jeonghan lets him down, he gives your brother a high five after. Jeonghan walks back over to the tub before picking up an ornament. After closer inspection you realize that it’s the ornament shaped like a little bunny with a fluffy cotton tail and a pink scarf. You quickly lunge forward and snatch it out of his hands.
“Aish!”
“Sorry!” You exclaim, holding onto the ornament. “But you can’t place this on the tree.”
“Why not?”
“Because…,” you hesitate, suddenly embarrassed. 
“That’s her favorite, she has to place it on the tree every year. In its special spot,” you mom answers as she walks into the room, carrying a tray of cookies. 
Jeonghan just chuckles before leaning in to wrap his arms around your waist and kissing your cheek. You flush, trying not to think too much of it. It’s just because your mom is standing in the room. “That’s so cute. In its ‘special spot’?”
“Yes,” you mumble. You move out of Jeonghan’s grip to lift the ornament and place it at the top of the tree, right under where the star sits. The idea is more embarrassing now that Jeonghan is staring at you, the smug little grin on his face, but you can’t ignore tradition just because you know he’s going to make fun of you later.
“Are there any more special ornaments I should know about, darling?” Jeonghan asks and you smack him lightly, both for the comment and the teasing nickname he’s picked up.
“No. Decorate at your free will.”
Your brother is now more interested in the cookies your mom brought in, leaving you and Jeonghan to finish the tree off. It’s weighted down by all of the ornaments you’ve hung on it by the end. You reach down into the box to grab the tree topper.
“All that’s left is the star,” you announce.
“Jeonghan should put it on,” your mom suggests and you hold it out to him.
“Oh no, I couldn’t.”
“We insist,” your mom tells him. 
“C’mon Han, just do it, make her happy.” You nudge him a bit and Jeonghan finally takes it before reaching up on his tiptoes to place the star on top. You and your mom cheer and you can see the small smile on Jeonghan’s face.
With the finishing touch on the tree, you’re able to step back and look at your masterpiece.
“I think we did a pretty good job,” you say.
“I think we did the best job, and I should know. I’m a tree decorating veteran.” Jeonghan wraps an arm around your waist. You glance up at him, only to be surprised by him pecking you on the lips. You don’t even have time to react, the kiss smooth like you two do it all the time.
Jeonghan doesn’t bat an eye, turning back to stare at the tree. You feel your stomach flutter.
So here’s the thing. It’s not like you wouldn’t date Jeonghan, he’s a great guy, a close friend, but you two just never evolved into that part of your relationship. The issue when you’re hooking up with someone is that it’s intimate. You’ve spent the night at each other’s apartments, you share the same friends, you have strangely deep pillow talk with one another. It’s all under the same impression that you’re just friends with benefits, but now you’re here, in your childhood home, pretending to be a couple. The circumstances are completely different and now you don’t know how to feel.
All you know is that Jeonghan keeps kissing you with no sexual undertones under it, and maybe you like it a little too much.
When you wake up the next morning, Jeonghan is already awake on his phone. He looks over at you and snickers before turning his phone towards you. On his screen is a photo of you asleep, your mouth wide open and a bit of drool running down your cheek.
“Delete that!” You shout, suddenly wide awake. Jeonghan giggles as he stands up and runs out of the room. You chase after him, yelling at him, until you two make it to the kitchen.
“Well! You two are lively this morning,” your mom comments. She’s standing at the stove cooking breakfast with a fond grin on her face.
“Good morning!” Jeonghan says, a smug smile on his face as he slips his phone into his pocket. “That smells great. Do you need any help?” Jeonghan gestures to the plates sitting on the counter, waiting to be put out.
“Oh honey, no, no, you go sit. You’re a guest.” 
“Are you sure?” Jeonghan asks and your mom nods.
“Of course. Pumpkin, you can help me.”
Jeonghan moves to the dining table while your mom moves closer to you, a giddy look on her face, as she hands you the plates. 
“Pumpkin, you’ve really found yourself a keeper,” she whispers to you. “Jeonghan is such a sweet young man.”
“Uh, yeah mom, thanks,” you mutter.
It’s not like you don’t know Jeonghan’s a great guy, but the truth is you two aren’t dating. It’s not like you can tell your mom that, but you don’t know how long you’ll be able to keep up the lie after you two leave after break. It was easy when he was just a random name you threw out, but now your mom has actually met him, and he’s doing a little too well at charming her.
And maybe you too. It’s only been two days of pretending to fake date Jeonghan and somehow you’re already questioning your whole relationship with him. You don’t know if your heart will take fake dating him for any longer than you have to.
You and your mom head towards the table where Jeonghan sits next to your brother, looking invested in whatever your brother is talking about. You take your seat on the other side of Jeonghan as your mother sits across from you.
“So, any plans you two have for today?”
“Uhm, not at the moment,” you reply.
“You two should go ice skating! A new place opened downtown. I’m sure all the cute young couples are going there.”
You perk up at the idea. Ice skating has always been a fun winter tradition for you and now you have a reason to go. Right as the sun is starting to set, you and Jeonghan take off downtown. The city is dressed up in lights and it excites the child inside of you.
“Isn’t it pretty?” You ask Jeonghan as you walk down the street.
“Isn't what pretty?”
“The lights. Look at them. It really gets me in the Christmas mood,” you say. 
“Oh, yeah. They do look nice. Oh, there’s the skating rink.”
The rink is large and already filled with several people from other couples to families to people just skating solo. There are lights surrounding the rink and you can hear Christmas music playing out of speakers nearby.
You and Jeonghan go and rent your skates before putting them on and heading towards the ice. You slide onto the rink first and then wait for Jeonghan to follow. You watch as he steps out on the ice and moves to push himself forward, only to fall directly on his ass.
You stifle a laugh before reaching down to help him up. As soon as he’s back up Jeonghan moves over to hold onto the wall.
“Is this a bad time to tell you that I’m not very good at ice skating.”
You actually allow yourself to laugh out loud this time. “Why did you agree to come?”
“I don’t know, your mom seemed so excited about it and so did you.”
You smile before skating up to Jeonghan’s side. “That’s sweet of you Han, but we don’t have to continue if you don’t want to. We can just walk around downtown and look at the lights.”
“No, I want to do this,” Jeonghan states, determined.
“Okay, okay. At least let me help you out.” You move your hand to grasp Jeonghan’s and you start to move. Jeonghan gently lets go of the wall to follow you, his grip on your hand tight.
You skate effortlessly, trying not to giggle as Jeonghan does his best not to fall and pull you down with him. You’re skating much slower than you’re used to as Jeonghan clings to your arm.
“How are you so good at this,” Jeonghan whines as you two stop to take a break.
“Ice skating is a family tradition for me. Don’t worry, you look cute.” You reach up to straighten the fluffy hat on his head.
The moment feels oddly intimate, which is an interesting feeling considering you two have seen each other naked. It almost feels like you two are an actual couple, out on a cute Christmas-y date.
If you’re being honest, Christmas has always been your favorite holiday. You love the whole season and the feeling of family and joy and love. When you were little you always dreamed of having a great Christmas romance, and now you have it, it’s just…fake.
You look at Jeonghan to see the soft pink dusting his face and ears and you wonder if it’s because of the cold or if he’s thinking the same thing you are.
“Aww, you two are so cute.” The moment is broken and you look to the side to see an older couple skating up to you two. “Would you like us to take your photo?”
“Oh, um, sure!” You reply, pulling your phone out to hand to them. Your mom did tell you to take lots of photos.
You skate back over to Jeonghan and position yourself next to him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. You two lean into each other, smiling at the camera. After that photo is taken you lean in to press a kiss to Jeonghan’s cheek.
The couple then returns your phone and bids you a goodbye. You flip through the photos and Jeonghan peeks over your shoulder at them.
“You should send those to me.”
You look at him curiously. In all the time you’ve known Jeonghan, you’ve never known him to care much about having photos of you two together, even as just friends, but you shoot them over to his number anyway. You then grab his hand again and continue to skate.
Even with Jeonghan’s poor skating skills, you two still have fun. The Christmas music sets the mood as you two skate around the rink and you can hear Jeonghan humming along as you skate. The moment is nice.
You two skate for about an hour before Jeonghan’s feet start to hurt and you two decide to put the skates up and pop into a nearby cafe to grab some hot chocolate before exploring downtown more. There is a tree put in the center of the plaza and you and Jeonghan take a few more photos to show your mom.
In the midst of hooking up with Jeonghan, sometimes it’s hard to remember you two are friends as well. You’re a bit glad for this whole fake dating thing, because it gives you a chance to hang out with Jeonghan in a non-sexual manner. It reminds you of how much you like Jeonghan as just a person and how you enjoy spending time with him. It’s really nice.
It’s late into the night when you two finally head back to your house. The lights are already all off and you and Jeonghan creep up to your room quietly, as to not wake up anyone else. You two quietly change into your pajamas before crawling into your bed.
There’s a slight chill in the room and you slide over to Jeonghan to try and get warmer. He accepts you into his arms and you two lay there in silence for a moment before he begins to speak.
“You know, I wasn’t sure about this at first, but I’ve been having a lot of fun. Your family’s great.”
“Yeah…they are. Thanks for doing this for me by the way.”
“I mean, it benefits me too, right,” Jeonghan chuckles.
Right. The reason you’re doing this in the first place: the birth control.
It’s weird to think about now that you’re here. Jeonghan has seemed to blend into your family so well, you nearly forgot the reason this started to begin with.
“Hey, are you okay?” Jeonghan asks.
“What? Oh yeah. I’m just…tired. I think I should try to sleep.”
“Yeah, okay…goodnight.”
When you wake up, Jeonghan is still asleep next to you, and you glance at the clock to see it’s strangely early. It’s then that you hear the tapping on your door and you stand up to crack it open. Your mom is standing on the other side of the door with a paper in her hand.
“Sweetie, sorry to wake you up, but I need you to do me a favor today.”
“What is it Mom? Is everything okay?”
“Oh yes, nothing wrong, but I need you to go out and buy these things for me.” She passes you the list and you scan over it before shooting your mom a look.
“You haven’t gotten the presents yet?” You hiss. “Christmas is in like four days!”
“I know! Me and your father haven’t had time to go with your brother around. Please? Here’s my card.” She passes you her credit card. “You can pick up some gifts for yourself as well. Bring Jeonghan along, get lunch, make a day out of it. Please, Pumpkin?”
“Yeah, sure, Mom. I’ll get it all.”
“Thank you!” Your mom hugs you quickly before leaving. You sigh, staring down at the list. There’s quite a few things on it. The closer you look at it you realize there’s also gifts for your extended family and your father on it. You huff, you have your work cut out for you. At least your mom has marked what store you can find each item.
You walk over to the bed and shake Jeonghan until he wakes up.
“Wha’?”
“Come up, get up. We have a long day of shopping ahead of us and I want to beat the crowds.”
Jeonghan grumbles a bit more but rolls out of bed. You two get dressed before climbing into your car and heading towards the store. You stop at a coffee shop to get both of you take out cups and head to the first store.
Your brother’s Christmas list is mainly toys, which you guess you can expect from a five year old. The toy store is already bustling with people and you grab a cart and Jeonghan’s hand so you don’t lose each other. You make your way through the aisles, doing your best to find everything on the list.
“What about this one?” Jeonghan asks, holding up a green race car. You frown.
“No. He doesn’t like that shade of green, and he already owns three green cars. He wants a purple one…aha! Here it is.” You grab the one on the back of the rack before throwing it into the cart. “Okay. I think there’s toy dinosaurs a few aisles down, and then we should have everything here.”
You two continue through the store before you find the aisle full of different dinosaur themed toys. You pick up a book for you to gift your little brother yourself and then look over the toys.
“He already owns a t-rex, a stegosaurus, and a triceratops,” you mutter more to yourself than Jeonghan. You glance through the toys before landing on a dinosaur with a long neck. “Brachiosaurus, perfect.”
You place this in the cart as well and then turn to Jeonghan, who is smiling at you. “You’re a good big sister, you know that?”
“I’m just doing what my mom asked me,” you tell him as you push the cart towards the check out.
“No I mean, you pay attention to him. You know what toys he already owns and what colors he likes. It’s sweet.”
You brush Jeonghan off again, but the words cause a warm feeling to bloom in your stomach. You two stand in the check out line for what feels like forever before you’re able to leave. As you two are walking to the car you look over at Jeonghan and realize he deserves something for Christmas as well. He’s spending the whole break with you and your family, it’s the least you can do.
“Oh shit, I forgot something. Here, take the car keys, I’ll be back in a flash, I promise.” You hand him the keys before running back into the store before Jeonghan can protest.
You weave through the people before making it to the Lego aisle. You’ve seen all of the models inside his apartment, and you figure this will be a good gift for him. You search through the different kits to find the best one, before settling on the electric guitar set. You’ve seen him play the bass a couple of times, and you hope Jeonghan will still appreciate the thought.
The line is a bit shorter this time and you make sure the box is well hidden in the bag before making your way back to the car. You store the bag in the back before slipping into the driver’s seat.
“You got everything you need?” Jeonghan asks and you smile and nod.
“Yep! On to the next place.” 
The next store is less exciting than being in a toy store and it seems to be even busier. You and Jeonghan hold hands once more as you walk through the store. His humming to the Christmas music on the speakers calms you a bit, and you allow yourself to enjoy the Christmas spirit more.
You and Jeonghan make it through the store, and another one before you decide it’s time for a lunch break. You two find a cute Italian place to sit down and rest your feet. You’re waiting for your food to arrive when your phone dings and you see an Instagram notification. You open your phone to see Jeonghan has tagged you in a post.
The first photo is the two of you at the skating rink, your arms wrapped around each other. There are a few more photos. A photo of you holding your hot chocolate while looking at the lights. The selfie you two took in front of the tree in the plaza. The final photo is a photo of you putting an ornament on your own tree at home. The post is captioned Christmas 🎄🎁☕.
“Our friends are going to think we’re crazy,” you tell Jeonghan. In theory, your friends know you and Jeonghan are sleeping together, but you’ve never explicitly said it, and they most definitely don’t know that Jeonghan is spending Christmas at your house.
“So? Let them. Those are cute photos.” You can’t argue with that and you drop a like and repost it to your story.
When you finish up lunch there’s one more store you two have to hit. There are only a few odd and end items left and you can’t wait to get home. You and Jeonghan are looking at sweaters when you feel someone bump into you and you lurch forward a bit.
“Watch it,” the man growls.
“Hey!” Jeonghan shouts, wrapping an arm around your waist to steady you.
“What?” The man turns back around.
“You bumped into my girlfriend.” Despite this not being the moment to get flustered, hearing Jeonghan call you his girlfriend even without your family around sends butterflies into your tummy.
The man and Jeonghan have a stare down for a moment before the man huffs out a pathetic “sorry” before walking off. 
“Thanks Han,” you say before you place a soft kiss on his cheek.
“Well, some people just belong on the naughty-list,” he says, which makes you chuckle.
By late afternoon you two finally finish shopping and you get a text from your mom that tells you she’s taken your little brother to the grocery store so you and Jeonghan have time to get the gifts in the house without him seeing. You and Jeonghan quickly bring everything to your room before closing the door. You make sure to slip the present for Jeonghan under your bed before he notices and you then turn to him.
“Want to help me wrap these presents?”
“Of course.”
You and Jeonghan sit on the floor of your room, where Jeonghan soon finds out you’re awful at wrapping gifts.
“It’s so easy. It’s just folds and tape,” Jeonghan says as he places a piece of tape on the most perfectly wrapped present you’ve ever seen.
“Oh shush. I usually use gift bags okay? And now I have you, so you can wrap all of the presents from Santa, and I can do the rest,” you declare as you scribble a To: Mom onto the present you finished wrapping.
“Fine, but only because you’re the worst gift wrapping elf I’ve ever seen.”
Though you know it’s meant as an insult, you can’t help but smile at the cuteness of his sentence. You’re also just happy you don’t have to wrap more gifts than necessary.
It’s late when you wake up the next morning, due to the fact you went to bed late last night. You and Jeonghan stayed up to finish wrapping presents and then you two got onto talking about family Christmas tradition and before you knew it, it was two am. 
The bed is chilly and when you sit up to look, the other side of the bed is empty. You wrap a blanket around you and head downstairs to see Jeonghan and your mom sitting at the table talking. When you look out the window it’s a world of white and you start to feel giddy.
“It snowed!” You exclaim. “Hannie, we have to go play in it!”
You know it’s childish, but you can’t help it. You quickly get dressed and put on your winter coat and gloves before heading outside. A few minutes later, Jeonghan exits the house as well, your brother in tow. You search through your garage before you find your sleds and the three of you take a short walk to the park down the street. There’s a big hill next to it and you all take turns riding down it.
“C’mon, ride down together with me.” Jeonghan pats the space in between his legs on the sled and you climb on.
Jeonghan pushes off and then wraps his arms around your waist as you two go speeding down the hill. You can feel the snow fly back into your face and your sled goes tilting before you and Jeonghan are completely thrown off. You two land in a heap together and you both start giggling. You roll over in the snow and start to make a snow angel and Jeonghan does the same.
When you stand up and assess your work, you pull out your phone to snap a photo of the two angels next to each other. You’re just putting your phone away when you feel something cold and hard pelt you in the leg. You look over to see Jeonghan with a mischievous grin on his face, already aiming his next snow ball.
You quickly bend down to grab snow and form your own ammo, while also trying to dodge the onslaught of Jeonghan’s. You two go back and forth, throwing snow at each other, before Jeonghan finally ambushes you and grabs you by the waist and tackles you down into the snow.
You two are breathing heavily as Jeonghan hovers over you. There’s a twinkle in his eye and snow in his hair and you think that this might be the prettiest you’ve ever seen Jeonghan. You’re not sure what comes over you, but you reach up and grab him by the collar of his jacket, pulling him down to connect your lips to his.
Jeonghan melts into you, kissing you back. You two lay there in the snow, kissing, until you hear commotion next to you.
“Ewww.” You both pull apart to see your little brother standing over you two. You and Jeonghan both blush and Jeonghan climbs off of you before helping you up. “I’m getting cold, can we go back home now?”
Neither you nor Jeonghan make eye contact as you grab the sleds. Jeonghan gives your brother a piggyback on the way home when you get inside your brother pulls Jeonghan off to go play video games together. You’re grateful for the break, still a bit flustered from your intense kiss earlier.
You’re luckily able to ignore the boy for the most part for the rest of the day, until it’s time to go to bed. You and Jeonghan shuffle around each other awkwardly until you decide to finally bite the bullet.
“Hey, about the kiss earlier, I’m sorry. I-”
“No, it’s okay!” Jeonghan cuts you off. “Don’t worry I uh…I liked it.”
“O-oh, okay,” you mumble.
Neither of you say anything else as you two climb into bed. You’re not sure if you should move closer to Jeonghan until he reaches over to tug you towards him. You slot yourself into his arms, and you hope he can’t feel your heart beating a million beats per second.
You’re glad you didn’t make anything weird with Jeonghan, but now you’re afraid you may have made things a lot more complicated for yourself.
“You two are on cookie duty,” your mom tells you and Jeonghan as she bustles around the kitchen. She’s been stressed since you two woke up. You suppose that’s fair when it’s Christmas Eve, and it gives you a good reason to not think about you and Jeonghan.
“Can I help? I want to make cookies for Santa!” Your little brother exclaims.
“If you want to, buddy,” you tell him.
“Yay!”
“There’s a recipe book in the cupboard, and I should have picked up all of the ingredients the other day,” your mother continues.
“We’ve got it Mom, no stressing, okay?”
“Okay. Thank you Pumpkin.” Your mom kisses your cheek before running off to finish errands.
You clap your hands together. “Let’s get to baking.”
There’s several cookies your mom has requested you to make and you get to work on the dough for the chocolate chip cookies, while Jeonghan works on the sugar cookies. The chocolate chip cookies are fairly easy and you’re able to pop them into the oven while Jeonghan and your brother are cutting out shapes into the sugar cookies.
“This one is shaped as a snowflake,” your brother explains to Jeonghan as he stamps the dough.
“Ah, I see,” Jeonghan says and you grin. You work around them as you grab the flour to start making gingerbread.
Right as you’re walking past Jeonghan, he spins around, running into you and getting a cloud of flour all over both of you. You can hear your little brother giggling as Jeonghan huffs a laugh.
“You know, darling, this is pretty cliche,” Jeonghan says, still grinning.
“It would only be cliche if I smear frosting on the tip of your nose,” you tell him, continuing to walk past. “But, don’t count that out yet.” 
By the afternoon the house is warm and filled with the sweet scent of baked goods. The cookies are cooled and all three of you have already sneaked one or two for yourselves as you sit down to decorate. Your brother has been given the task of frosting the sugar cookies for Santa, while you and Jeonghan get to work building a gingerbread house.
“Look, not to brag, but I’ve come in second place every year for my family’s gingerbread house contest.”
“Second place? Why not first?” You snicker.
“Because my cousin is an architect, okay. It’s called an unfair advantage.”
You giggle once more. “If you say so, Hannie. Here, you can make the shingles with these.”
The two of you work in harmony, decorating the little house with all of the candy. When the house is finished you two move onto making the little gingerbread man.
“Look at little Hannie,” Jeonghan says, holding up the gingerbread man he just made. It’s decorated to look like Jeonghan, even done with his signature smirk.
“Very cute,” you tell him. “But your hair isn’t that long anymore.” You reach over and swipe some of the icing used to make his hair off of the cookie before reaching up to smear it on Jeonghan’s nose.
“Oh I see,” Jeonghan hums, doing his best to keep the grin off his face.
“I told you, don’t count it out yet.”
Before you can even stop him, Jeonghan is dipping into the bowl of frosting and swiping a streak over your cheek. You squeal as Jeonghan grins proudly. 
“There, now we’re even.” You fake pout at Jeonghan slightly and he playfully rolls his eyes before leaning in and kissing your cheek, right over the icing. When he pulls away, he’s licking his lips. “I’m sorry, but revenge just tastes so sweet, darling.”
It’s your turn to playfully roll your eyes now, not at all upset with Jeonghan’s antics.
You finish up your gingerbread self as well and place it next to Jeonghan’s in front of the house. Jeonghan pushes his towards yours even more, so their hands touch. “Look, they’re now holding hands.” 
“You’re so stupid,” you tell him, but you’re smiling.
“You like that I’m stupid,” Jeonghan teases.
“Maybe…but only a little bit,” you say, but it’s enough to make Jeonghan grin from ear to ear.
It's a Christmas tradition in your house to spend Christmas Eve watching everyone’s favorite Christmas movies, and this year your brother is actually able to make a suggestion. 
“Jeonghan, sweetie, you get to suggest a movie as well,” your mother tells him as she readies the hot chocolate.
“Really? I wouldn’t want to impose?”
“You should know by now you’re not imposing, and if anything, it’s Christmas Eve, you deserve to have some cheer as well. It will be nice to have something new in the lineup of movies.”
Your mom starts to pour the hot chocolate into mugs before sliding the reindeer shaped mug towards your brother. It’s his favorite cup to use, even when it’s not the Christmas season, though it was originally gifted to you.
“No Mom, let Jeonghan have it.” Your brother declares as he pushes the mug towards Jeonghan.
“For me? Thank you!”
You lean in towards Jeonghan. “He must really like you. He doesn’t even let me use that mug, and it belongs to me.”
After the hot chocolate and cookies have been passed out to everyone (and your brother has set some out for Santa), you all move into the living room. Your parents sit in their chairs and your little brother places himself on the floor right in front of the TV. You and Jeonghan move over to the couch where you naturally slot yourself into his arms, you two cuddling up together as you throw a blanket over your laps.
The first movie of the night is your brother’s choice, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It’s a classic and you can’t be mad at the choice. The whole time Jeonghan keeps making jokes only loud enough for you to hear and you keep giggling, causing your brother to glare at you, causing you to elbow Jeonghan in his side.
“You better not distract me when we’re watching my movie,” you warn Jeonghan.
Jeonghan throws his hands up in fake surrender. “Oh darling I wouldn’t dare.”
Your favorite Christmas movie is A Charlie Brown Christmas and you make your family watch it every year. For you, it never gets old, and you watch it with what can only be described as stars in your eyes. You know Jeonghan finds it amusing, but you can’t help your love for all things Peanuts and something about that silly little Christmas tree brings you joy.
Instead of your parents choosing a movie, Jeonghan gets to choose this year, and you’re thankful you don’t have to watch your dad’s choice, A Christmas Story. Instead Jeonghan chooses the Jim Carey version of The Grinch, which makes you grin wide.
“That’s my second favorite Christmas movie. Did you know that?”
“Nope, I guess we just have great taste, darling.”
“Of course we do. I mean, we’re dating each other,” you flirt and you watch Jeonghan duck his head in embarrassment.
Jeonghan shifts his position so you’re sitting in between his legs, leaning back against him. His arms wrap around your waist as he rests his head on your shoulder. It’s cozy and your heart feels full at the moment.
You know none of it is real, that it’s all fake for something as trivial as birth control, but right now, you so desperately want it to be real. Enough that you’ll let yourself believe it is, even if it’s just for a moment.
It’s late when the movie is finished and your brother is doing his best to keep his eyes open.
“Hey little man, if you don’t go to bed soon, Santa won’t come,” you tell him as you pick him up in your arms.
“B-but Santa has to come,” he mutters in a sleepy voice.
“Well then let us put you to bed.” You carry your brother to his bedroom, Jeonghan following you behind.
“What if I can’t sleep? Is Santa still going to come?”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to sleep, buddy. Do you want us to read you a story?”
“Please?”
“Hey Han, there’s a copy of The Night Before Christmas in my room, could you go grab it?” You ask Jeonghan and he nods. He comes back a few minutes later, holding the book. He settles next to you on the bed and you hold the book open for your little brother to see.
You and Jeonghan take turns narrating the book until your little brother’s eyes droop down and he’s fast asleep. You and Jeonghan quietly sneak out of the room and slip into yours. Due to the presents being hidden in your room, it’s your turn to play Santa.
You and Jeonghan carry the presents to the living room before placing them under the tree. It looks picture perfect when you two are done. You and Jeonghan move over to the plate of cookies set out before both grabbing one and tapping them together.
“Cheers,” Jeonghan says.
“Cheers, to our success at playing Santa.” You both bite into your cookies, making sure to leave crumbs on the plate for your brother to see in the morning. You split the glass of milk, leaving a few drops at the bottom.
“Look.” Jeonghan points up and you catch sight of the spring of mistletoe. Your family has never been ones to do mistletoe and you wonder if your mom put it up this year just because she knew Jeonghan was going to be with you.
You’re surprised you didn’t see it earlier, but to be fair you haven’t been home much the past few days, and even when you have you haven’t been near the fireplace. 
Right then the clock in your house strikes midnight, and you lean in to kiss Jeonghan. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into him, as you cup his face. You two kiss for what you’re sure is much longer than it needs to be before pulling away.
“Merry Christmas, Jeonghan.”
“Merry Christmas, darling.” 
“Santa! Santa, Santa, Santa! Santa was here!” You wake up to screaming and you barely have time to process what is happening when your bedroom door is flung open and there’s a tiny body attacking you and Jeonghan.
“Yeah, buddy, we know,” you mumble as Jeonghan yawns loudly. “We’ll be there in a second.”
“You better be.” With that your brother leaves and you and Jeonghan decide it’ll be best if you two make your way into the living room.
Your parents are both already in the living room, both of them looking tired as well. Your brother is eagerly sitting in front of the tree, inspecting each present as he waits for you and Jeonghan to shuffle over to the couch. Jeonghan sits down and you practically sit on his lap with how close you get to him, cuddling into his side, wishing you were still asleep.
“Merry Christmas! Say hi to the camera,” your dad says as he holds his phone up to record your little brother.
“Hi!” He says while waving enthusiastically. “Merry Christmas! Can I open my presents now?”
Your mom chuckles before telling him to do so.
You watch with half interest as your brother opens his presents, doing your best to wake up. Jeonghan is warm against you, though, and it makes you more sleepy. It isn’t until your brother is almost done opening his presents from Santa that you’re awake.
As soon as your dad has picked up all of the wrapping paper, you move towards the tree to open your own presents. It’s nothing much, as you really only asked for clothes and a few other things for your apartment. The life of a college student.
When you’ve thanked your parents for your presents you hand them their presents from you. You’re satisfied at the giddy your little brother has for the dinosaur book you got him and he gives you a giant hug.
“Pumpkin, what’s that present left under the tree?” Your mom points at the final present under the tree.
“It’s my present for Jeonghan,” you say as you pick it up and hand it to the boy.
“You got me something?” Jeonghan asks you, a bit of awe in his face.
“Of course.” You sit down next to him and press a kiss to his cheek. “I hope you like it.”
Jeonghan rips the wrapping paper off to reveal the Lego set underneath, and Jeonghan gasps. There’s an excited grin on his face as he looks between the box and you.
“You got me this?”
“Yeah, I noticed the sets in your room and thought you’d like this. I know you play the bass but-”
Jeonghan cuts you off by lunging forward and kissing you. You melt into him, reciprocating the kiss. When you pull back, there’s a twinkle in his eye. “Thank you, it’s perfect.”
“Oh, let me take a photo!” Your mom exclaims. “Go stand in front of the tree.”
You know there’s not fighting your mom and you pull Jeonghan over. You press your sides together, smiling at the camera. Your brother wants on as well so you two pick him up and hold him between you two.
“Aww, my babies, you guys look so cute! Okay, now who wants breakfast?”
You’re standing on your back porch, watching the snow fall, when you hear steps approaching. When you turn around you’re not surprised to see Jeonghan approaching you.
“You know, you didn’t have to get me anything for Christmas. Let alone a Lego set.”
You shrug. “I wanted to. You’re doing this for me, and I wanted to give you something to show my appreciation.”
“Well thank you. It means a lot to me.” Jeonghan moves closer to you and wraps his arms around you. You accept his hug, snuggling into his arms. “I’m sorry I didn’t have anything for you.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to. You just being here is enough.”
Jeonghan pulls away from you slightly, so he can look you in the eyes. You can see him struggling to say what he wants to, before he eventually just spits it out. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “Is everything okay?”
“I…I’ve really enjoyed the past week, and it’s made me realize I need to be honest with you. I really like you, and I have since we first met. We had that first date which ended in us having sex, and when you never brought up a second date I kind of figured you just wanted to keep it on a physical level. I didn’t mind, but I guess I always kind of wanted it to be more,” Jeonghan admits. “And being here, and spending all this time together and not having sex, it kind of made me realize just how much I like you.” 
You can feel your heart beating in your chest as Jeonghan speaks. He likes you. Yoon Jeonghan likes you, and has had a crush on you since you first met. The notion makes your stomach erupt in butterflies.
You stare at him, his cheeks slightly pink from the cold and white snowflakes dotting his black hair. He looks like an angel.
“I understand if you don’t like me back, but I needed to tell you that. I’m not sure what this means for us but-”
It’s now your turn to cut Jeonghan off with a kiss. Your hold on him tightens as you pull him into you and Jeonghan eagerly accepts. He moves his hands to cup the back of your neck, holding you gently as he deepens the kiss. You’re both a little breathless when you pull apart and Jeonghan has a giant smile on his face.
“I like you too. A lot. And being here made me realize I want this to be real, if you do too.”
“Yes. I would love that.”
“Well then, I hate to inform you that I don’t think we can be fake dating anymore, as I have a very real boyfriend.”
“Is that so?”
“Oh yes. And he’s very handsome and talented and a very good kisser.”
“Well it’s a good thing I also have a very real girlfriend, who is also a very good kisser.” Jeonghan’s face gets closer to yours as he talks before he leans in fully at the end, kissing you once more.
“Your father and I are going to go look at Christmas lights with your brother. Would you two like to join?” You mom pokes her head into your bedroom where you and Jeonghan are cuddled up on your bed, watching a movie.
You've been spending the day just enjoying each other's presence. You've also been answering sporadic texts from your friends, asking about you and Jeonghan after your Instagram post earlier.
You posted the photo of you kissing his cheek in the ice rink, the photos your mom took this morning, and a photo of your gingerbread men holding hands, captioned My favorite present this year ♡. Your friends have been hounding you about it since.
You glance at Jeonghan and down at your laptop before turning to your mom.
“I think we’ll just stay here,” you tell her.
She just smiles at you two. “Okay, have fun. We’ll probably be gone for a few hours.” Neither you nor Jeonghan miss the wink she sends you two.
You can hear the garage door open and close as your family leaves and you and Jeonghan both glance at each other. You’re not quite sure what the rules are on how long you should wait to have sex after becoming a couple, but then again, it’s not like you and Jeonghan haven’t fucked before.
“Do you want to-”
“You know just because we-”
You both stop talking when you realize the other one is. You gesture for Jeonghan to continue.
“Just because we’re now officially dating, doesn’t mean we can’t still have sex,” Jeonghan says. “Unless you want to wait.”
“No, I actually was going to ask if you uh, wanted to have sex.” You almost feel awkward, talking about it, like you two haven’t been hooking up on the regular for over a year.
You’re relieved of the uncomfortableness as soon as Jeonghan turns to kiss you. After a week of kissing for show, it’s nice to finally kiss him for yourself. As strange as it might be, it feels nice to kiss Jeonghan like this. Though you’re excited to see where dating Jeonghan takes you, hooking up is how you know him best.
Jeonghan moves your laptop off your laps and climbs on top of you, pressing you into the bed. Though you’re used to sleeping with Jeonghan, there’s still a new air to this. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jeonghan so eager to fuck you, but you can’t say you’re complaining at all. 
Your lips slide together, deepening the kiss, as Jeonghan’s hand ghosts your waist. You can feel his tongue swipe against your lips right as he starts to push his hand up under your shirt. You gasp when you feel his hand grope your tits and Jeonghan takes that moment to slip his tongue into your mouth.
You whimper as you feel his hand slide under your bra as well, his fingers playing with your nipples. His tongue explores the inside of your mouth and you suck on it slightly before pulling away all together. As you take a moment to catch your breath, Jeonghan moves down to suck at your neck.
“F-fuck, Hannie,” you whine.
“So pretty, darling,” Jeonghan mutters.
You push Jeonghan off of you slightly, so you can remove both your shirt and bra. With your chest now bare, Jeonghan takes the liberty of wrapping his lips around your nipple. He flicks the bud with his tongue, while his hand shows the other one some love. Your body arches up into his touch as you feel your cunt clench down around nothing, desperate to have him inside of you.
Jeonghan must realize this as well, and he pops his mouth off of you. “Want me to touch you, pretty girl?”
“Please,” you beg. You wiggle your hips a bit and Jeonghan chuckles as he hooks his fingers into your waistband and slides both your pajama pants and underwear off in one go. Like he’s on autopilot, Jeonghan reaches down and starts to rub at your clit with two fingers. 
“Fuck, you’re so wet already. Do you want my fingers or my mouth?”
“D-don’t care,” you mutter, already enjoying the pleasure of his fingers pressed against you. “Pick one. Both. Whatever. Just please, don’t stop touching me.”
You gasp a bit when Jeonghan pushes your legs apart even further, allowing himself to slip in between them. He leans down and starts to kiss your thighs, leaving small nips every once in a while. When it’s clear you’re too impatient for this, Jeonghan closes the gap between his mouth and your pussy, pressing a kiss to your entrance. From there, it only gets messier as Jeonghan darts his tongue out to lap at your arousal. He licks a thick strip along your slit, stopping at your clit so he can wrap his lips around it. You moan as you feel him suck on the bud.
His hands are holding on tight to your thighs, keeping them apart. His tongue swirls around your clit and you buck your hips up as your hands fly to grip onto the sheets. You’re sure you look pathetic, but you don’t care if it means you can get head this good.
His mouth switches between sucking your clit and licking at your entrance. You’re dripping slick now, even as Jeonghan licks it up. He buries his face between your thighs deeper, and you’re sure his face is a mess now. He drags his teeth against your sensitive clit and you whine loudly.
Jeonghan seems to be happy with his affect on you and he finally gives attention to how empty you feel. His finger rubs your slit for a second before he pushes it inside of you. You’re completely drenched and his finger glides in with ease, allowing him to slide a second one in not long after. 
His mouth is still working at your clit as he fucks a third finger into you. He thrusts them deeper each time, curling them back to hit the soft spot of your walls. It pays off to have someone know your body so well, and you can already feel your brain going fuzzy as Jeonghan knows all the right places to hit.
Your abs tighten as you can feel yourself approaching your orgasm. Your thighs clamp down around Jeonghan’s head as a warning, and then you’re shaking as you reach your high. You moan freely, your hands grasping at the sheets, as Jeonghan continues to work you through it.
When your body has calmed down, you sink into the bed, allowing yourself to rest for a moment. Jeonghan has finally come up for air, his whole face shiny with your arousal. You grab him a tissue and he wipes off his mouth and fingers.
“You’re turn,” you whisper as you push Jeonghan down onto the bed. He’s still completely dressed you and push his shirt up to kiss down his stomach before pulling down his pants and underwear like he did to you. 
His cock springs free, fully hard and leaking. You slot yourself between his legs and waist no time taking the tip in between your lips. You suck gently before working your way down his length. After doing this many times, you’ve had practice taking him, and you can completely get his whole cock down your throat.
Though Jeonghan isn’t very blessed in the girth department, his cock is the longest you’ve ever been with, being able to reach deep inside you and down your throat. You bob your head up and down, letting his tip hit the back of your throat, before you pop off his cock, wrapping your lips around the shaft as your hand fondles his balls.
Your tongue darts out so you can run it against his cock, swirling it around the rim of his tip. You can hear the stuttered breathing of Jeonghan above you, as you back to sucking at the head of his cock. His pre-cum coats your tongue, and you have to admit, the salty taste brings you joy.
“G-gonna cum,” Jeonghan mumbles before he’s spilling his load right into your mouth. You do your best to catch it all, but some still slips out and drips down your chin, which you think makes Jeonghan cum even harder. “Fuck, your mouth is so good.”
You pull your mouth off of Jeonghan, swallowing the rest of the cum in your mouth, and Jeonghan groans. You crawl back up to Jeonghan’s face, kissing him. If the fact you just had his dick in your mouth bothers Jeonghan, he doesn’t show it.
“Need you in me, Hannie,” you tell him.
“Okay baby,” Jeonghan responds. He flips you over, so you’re laying on your back. He removes his shirt, so you’re both completely naked, before leaning down to kiss you again.
You’re not sure how his cock is still hard, despite just cumming, but you can’t complain when you feel him rubbing his tip against your slit. His kiss deepens as he pushes inside of you, your walls clenching down to mold against his cock.
You try to relax, but he feels so good sliding into you. After a moment he’s fully inside of you, his tip pressed snug up against your cervix. Jeonghan slowly slides out of you before slamming back in. Your pussy is soaking wet and you’re sure Jeonghan’s cock is drenched, if the wet squelch was any indicator.
Jeonghan starts to slowly thrust in and out of you, building up his pace as he goes. Your thighs hug his hips as you wrap your legs around him and your fingers dig into his back. You can feel his mouth suck at your collarbone as he slams into you harder.
His cock reaches deep in you, the drag of his cock against your walls causing your brain to go even more incoherent. All you can think about is Jeonghan and his body against yours and his cock fucking you so good. There’s a reason you’ve let him hit with no strings attached for so long, it’s just even better now that you can fully call him yours.
“You feel so good around me,” Jeonghan mumbles into your neck. “Perfect fucking pussy.”
“Love your cock,” you mumble back. “So deep inside.”
“Fuck, need you to ride me.”
You and Jeonghan take a moment to reposition and then you’re bouncing in his lap. Your grip onto his shoulders tight for leverage as you fuck yourself on his cock. His cock hits as a new angle in this position and all you can do is moan like a bitch in heat. 
Jeonghan reaches down and grabs onto your ass, guiding you up and down his cock as he squeezes the flesh. Your tits are bouncing wildly in Jeonghan’s face and he leans forward, sucking one into his mouth. You throw your head back as your eyes flutter close, lost in your pleasure. 
Your thighs get tired at some point and you start to just grind against him, his cock curving up into you at just the right angle. Jeonghan can sense your neglected clit and he reaches down to start rubbing circles into it. Your cunt clenches down, and both you and Jeonghan can tell you’re about to cum soon.
“Need your cum, Hannie,” you tell him, your words slurring together. “Fill me up.”
“Anything for you, darling,” Jeonghan says, half delirious himself.
It only takes one final jerk of your clit to have you trembling around him. Your pussy walls fluttering against his cock as you fall forward against Jeonghan, your body twitching as you cum. You can feel Jeonghan’s cock throbbing inside of you as he cums as well, filling you full of his seed.
You both lay like that for a while, with Jeonghan still inside of you as you exchange soft kisses. When it’s clear you need to get up, you slowly lift yourself off of Jeonghan’s cock, and you can feel his cum slide out of you. 
“Fuck, we need to wash my sheets,” you mumble.
“Okay, but let’s cuddle for just a bit longer.” And well, you can’t say no to that.
“Oh, we hate to see you two go,” you mom says as Jeonghan finishes putting your things into your car. “Visit soon, okay? And bring Jeonghan as well.”
“Yes Mom, I will.” You lean in to hug her.
“Thank you for allowing me to stay with you guys over break,” Jeonghan tells your mom and she pulls him into a hug as well.
“Thank you for being such a good guest. And for being such a good boyfriend to our Pumpkin. Visit soon, okay sweetheart?”
“Of course.” Jeonghan smiles at your mom.
“Bye-bye!” Your little brother says as he hugs your leg. You reach down and pick him up so you and Jeonghan can hug him in between you two. You press a kiss to his cheek.
“Bye, buddy. I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Seen you soon!” You let him down and he runs off.
“Text me as soon as you get to your apartment.”
“I will. Okay, we really have to go.”
“I love you,” your mom says as she kisses your cheek.
“I love you too.” 
“Okay bye Pumpkin, bye Jeonghan.” You both wave before climbing into the car.
As you take off you reach over and grab Jeonghan’s hand. 
“Well it seems this was a successful trip,” Jeonghan says.
“Very,” you agree.
You not only got a boyfriend, but now you don’t ever have to tell your mom you lied to her to get on birth control. It’s really a win-win situation in your eyes.
You glance over at Jeonghan to see him already staring back at you. Yeah, it truly is a win.
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taglist: @ckline35 @toruro @jeanjacketjesus @namjoonbaby @n4mj00nvq @lovelyhan @ovai @scorpiobitch88 @im-gemmy @lllucere @tulipgarland4 @embrace-themagic @sulkygyu @leejihoonownsmyheart @synthetickitsune @yeosayang @miraclewoozi @d0nghyck @soonhoonietrash @violetvoo @yongi-lee @spilled-coffee-cup @morklee02 @17kwans @candidupped @ressonancee @m1nghaos @1-800-jeonwonwoo @anothershorthuman @chwecardcaptor @dinoissupreme @speaknowlwt @hyneyedfiz @aaniag @shamayyyy @moonwalker-witchgrrrl @nidda13 @walkingtravesty97 @jwnghyuns @flwrshwa @valentxi @heavenly-mobo @pandorashbox @enhacolor @starlight-night0 @todorokiskitten @miriamxsworld @just-here-to-read-01 @sunnyteume @seuomo @tinkerbell460
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I have an outline due in the morning that I have BARELY started on and now that I’m actually looking at it, I am absolutely struggling. 😭
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ynsvnte · 1 month
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Our world collided ! — Nishimura Riki
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Genre: fluff, angst-ish.. Drabble, opposites attract, friends to lovers, childhood best friends, high school au
wc: 1.2k+ (1238)
warnings: kissing (like once), pet names (pretty girl), jealousy
pairing: emo!niki x coquette!reader
Masterlist
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“Okay that’s enough” Niki says while pushing your hands off his hair.
“What—no I’m not even close to being done..!?” You complained, hoping he’ll let you continue to let you play with his hair. The current situation being that Niki’s hair being into pigtails along with some of your hair bows attached. You thought it was cute..while he thought the opposite. “It’s hurting my scalp, take these off me now..” he demanded.. you noticed the slight pout only his face. Making you chuckle.
“I’d rather not..” you say, squishing his cheeks. He rolls his eyes before grabbing a hold of your wrist and pulling it away from him.. “I warned you..” That’s all you heard until you felt the wall against your back.. you close your eyes at the impact until a few seconds past and you open them seeing Niki infront of you kneeling down to reach your height.. your heart sped up from him being this close..
“Umm…” you say hoping he would (not) back away. Niki gets closer noses barely centimeters from touching each other.. you breathe hitched. Niki notices this, smirking.. you could feel your face getting hot. You felt like he was going to kiss you.. that’s until he pulls his face away from yours.. laughing at your reaction.. “Why so shy..hmm?” He asked while smirking.. you glare up at him, clearly embarrassed.
But that won’t stop him from teasing you. “I’m not shy..just..surprised..” You said your gaze softened..you glance up, he’s staring at you.. you look away before walking away from him..disappointed.. Niki sighs at the sight of you walking away.. “Did I really make her upset?” He asks himself, wondering.
The school day was near the end.. you looked up the clock.. 15 more minutes left and then you can leave. You’re lucky this time you don’t have class with Niki. As you only have 2 with him and lunch period. You got distracted, letting time fly by quickly. You check the clock again..so so so close only 2 minutes.. you just go ahead and start packing up your things..within those 2 minutes the bell finally rings dismissing all the students for the day. You past students trying to avoid bumping into Niki ever since what happened earlier. You really had your hopes up, expecting him to like you after all these years of being friends and yet…nothing. You quickly pick up your pace and walk out the gate.. you usually walk home with Niki as your both next door neighbors having your moms be best friends back in their days. You don’t see him anywhere, not bothering to wait too..you just start walking home..alone which is rare.
You’ve made it home taking off your shoes and tossing them out of your way. You set your bag down. Walking to your room. Opening the door you rush towards your bed, jumping onto it. Letting the cool sheets hit your face. Your aching body feels better when the feeling of your bed hits it. You rest a bit before leaving your room seeing what’s there to eat. While you wait for your mom to come home.. you find some kind of chips and decide to snack on it.
You make your way over to the living room..you can see through the sheer curtain.. something catches your eye.. two figures walking.. side by side. You walk a little bit closer seeing its Niki.. and another girl.. you don’t know her..never seen her either.. you frown at the sight in front of you.. “that should be me” you thought.. you noticed he still had the bows you used on him from earlier.. clipped to his bag. You take one more look before you see them both entering his house.. you just too push whatever just happened out of your mind.
Hours later..you couldn’t stop thinking about Niki with another girl aside from you? You knew he was earlier scared by girls no matter who it was except for you of course.. the unknown girl left about an hour ago you look out your bedroom window seeing the light in Niki’s on. You see the cup and strings from your window from the outside.. that’s how you and Niki used to communicate.. you resist using it.. thinking it seems foolish.. but you decided to anyway.. you open up your window.. a gust of wind blowing your hair out of your face.
You pick up the cup.. tapping into it 2 times remembering the code you both set up a long time ago. You weren’t expecting him to answer.. a few moments of silence passed you debated to go back inside or try again, before tapping your finger twice again.. you hear his window open up.. you look up seeing him.. in a basic black tee.. yet he looked so good. Moonlight shining his skin.. giving it a youthful look. Niki was in the same daze as you admiring your face.. doe eyes.. staring straight right at him.. plump lips he wishes to one day kiss. Niki slowly picks up the cup speaking into it.
“Need something..?” He says, your throat goes dry.. it’s like you never talked to him before. You clear your throat.. “Umm—can I get my hair bows back..I’m using it for tomorrow..” you made that up..it was the only believable one to get an excuse to talk to him.. “oh I don’t know if I can throw it at you..” “no I mean can I come over just for a bit..” you say.
You can see his reaction slightly confused but agreed anyway. You take a short trip to his house..going through the back door like it was your own home. You go up to his room. You knock before he opens the door for you. Niki is met with you and your hello kitty pajamas.. and hair in 2 braids decorated with bows. “Hi..” you said slowly.. Niki moves aside allowing you to enter. You keep your gaze low, but from a far you can see your bows.. you quickly grabbed it.. “That’s all?” Niki asks..
“Yes..wait actually yea.. no I mean no….i still have something to ask” Niki close the door, sitting down on his bed.. “yeah?” You get embarrassed to ask this but you continue on.. “Umm..I was wondering who that girl was..that you know you were walking with earlier..” you said avoiding his gaze completely. You hear him chuckle lightly.. “that..oh well..she just wanted to hang out..knowing her intentions..but don’t worry I don’t like her..” “why would I be worried if she likes you or—“ Your voice slowly fades away when you realize Niki's face is close up to yours. “There’s no denying it..I can see right through you..” you knew you were already blushing by now. “Not that I would want you to deny it..because..I so happen to feel the same..” he added smiling at you. You never see him smile. Always having a blank face for most part. Niki holds your jaw bringing your face closer to his before colliding your lips together. Lips against lips. His soft lips against yours. The kiss was tender..slow.. moments later he pulls away.. “Now pretty girl, care to cuddle..” he offered, holding his arms out.. you smiled at him.. “Of course”
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Author’s note: get a little inspiration from the book I’m reading rn which is if he had been with me RAHH 🦅 back with my writing haven’t written for Niki in so long along with sunoo WHICH I NEED TO DO ASAP! Crazy how this was in my drabbels for 2 days while my hee one is a month and it’s not coming out anytime soon 🙄💀
© ynsvnte copyright 2024
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inkskinned · 11 months
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so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.
this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.
somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.
i used betterhelp.
i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.
the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.
they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.
the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.
i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."
i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.
the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.
i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.
in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.
the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.
betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.
i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.
there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.
in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.
i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.
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jarofstyles · 6 months
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Jarofstyles Fic Rec 2023 🪽
hello my loves! Here is our updated fic rec.
[some may be repeats of last year because we reread them!]
Also check out our fic rec account, @jarofstylesrecs for some we most definitely missed!
There are so many I want to put on here and I’ll update it again, but here we are! Let me know of any fics you recommend 🩷
WATTPAD-
Bambi- vanillasoy (or @queenofgraveyards here) (ceo soft H, in my top 5)
Flower- vanillasoy (bodyguard/grumpy h x sunshine ofc)
Devil’s Due- petite_cerise (classic dark!H)
Adonis- temptress_ (dark!H and fierce OFC)
Valhalla- temptress_ (Viking!H)
Baby Blue- theasstour (artist!H and model y/n)
Lucky Penny- alisonfelix (teacher h, soft, ofc finding herself)
Informed Consent- alisonfelix (college romance, absolutely tooth rotting fluff I’m obsessed)
One Night Stand- alisonfelix (short story, pregnancy one night stand plot. A lil angsty but cute)
Ladybug- _screamingcolour (50’s au, super cute)
Pirouette- _screamingcolour (ballerina ofc, so fucking cute it hurts)
Flower Girl- sushirrrry (idk how to describe but chef’s kiss)
Celestial- sushirrrry (WIP, it hurts but it feels good, nerdy h who loves the stars)
Wildflowers- latenightgab (assholeish tattoorry, single dad)
Jezebel- latenightgab (sugar daddy ceo x dancer teacher)
Office Hours- latenightgab (lawyer and professor H x student)
Pink Slip- stillhurtingstyles (plus size! Assistant y/n x boss h)
Always - styleslegend (my OG favorite fic, nerdy h x popular y/n, old but good)
A Lifetime With You- anenglishbird (supernatural au, witchy, adore it)
Inclination- peanutboyfriend (sexuality discovery, so good)
Aerial- peanutboyfriend (aerialist h and ofc, 60’s set, another top 10 fic)
1789- everlasts (period piece, just read it. French Revolution)
Breaking The Ice- sarbearfive (hockey!H)
Sail My Ridges- @1800titz (new but soooo fucking good. Piraterry, writing is phenomenal as usual)
The Devil is a Gentleman- @1800titz (again, writing is incredible. Kink heavy, lovely, bdsm club, masks, real estate agent H- just please read it)
Sinners Place- @shroombloomm (so fucking good, preistrry, all the good drama, 10/10)
Do I Wanna Know? - @eatyourhoneyh (trust me, stripper ofc. Obsessed)
Boston- witchysunflower (hockey h, cheating plot)
Haste- htownrry (pregnancy plot but unconventional, racer h, very good)
TUMBLR-
Prosecco- @moonchildstyles (older!H)
Gravity- @moonchildstyles (camboyrry)
Aster- @moonchildstyles (tattoorry grumpy sunshine)
Èlan- @moonchildstyles (bodyguardrry that pulled my heart strings)
firemanrry- @jawllines (softest H, made of sugar and the little puppy :( )
Ballerinarry- @jawllines (enemies to lovers, obsessed)
Young American- @0nlythrowharrybeaux (tattoo artists h and y/n, so well written)
Wolves- @0nlythrowharrybeaux (Wolfrry!!!)
A Good Fit- @0nlythrowharrybeaux (trust me, read)
LVRS CLUB- @0nlythrowharrybeaux (sex club slay)
Best Friend’s Dadrry- @gurugirl (exactly what it says. So good)
The Arrangement- @gurugirl (sugar daddy h!)
The Ex- @gurugirl (trusf me again)
The whole Knockout series- @freedomfireflies (yall don’t even know how feral this series makes me…)
404- @freedomfireflies (again obsessed, nerdy enemies chefs kiss)
Silk and Rope- @cupid-styles (dom/sub dynamic, so soft)
Only Angel- @cupid-styles (tattorry, experienced h, shy y/n)
Complicated Freak- @lukesaprince (best friends Dadrry is a weakness)
Rich- @lukesaprince (older! H, age gap,)
Mutually Beneficial - @cherryjuiceblues (Dom/sub dynamics, perfection!)
Could You Live With Just a Taste- @frioamor (Dom/sub, smut is mind blowing)
Love’s Divine- @atlafan (nanny!h omg)
Peaches & Cream- @atlafan (anything they write tbh)
You’re Someone I Just Want Around- @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy & @sunflowervolvimp3 (I put this every year bc I reread it every single year. I’m obsessed. My Roman Empire. I’ve never heard ‘like real people do’ the same since.)
Please You- @adorebeaa (again just trust me)?
Wolfrry- @adorebeaa (please I’m obsessed w this and the smut is incredible)
The Dark King- @shroombloomm (so so so so so good, dark obviously but I love it)
Achilles Heel- @angelisverba (I’m obsessed w their writing and plugrry but this smut is mind blowing)
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churipu · 5 months
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𐙚 THREE TIMES NANAMI MADE YOU CRY ⋆ ˚。
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featuring. nanami kento x reader
warning. referral to the reader as 'wife'
note. i just felt so mellow today — because a lot of sad nanami edits have been passing by in my fyp and i'm about to have a mental breakdown because of it, when i catch gege >:( a lil note, i cried writing this bcs i miss nanami so much help
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✴ ONE : WHEN HE PROPOSED TO YOU
it took him a short time to realize that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you — he sees you cooking breakfast at the crack of dawn just for him before he goes to work, and he realizes that, yes, you were the one for him.
"do you want to marry me?"
your head turned to him slowly, eyes following just a few seconds after and you blinked, "i'm sorry, what?" you ask him.
nanami's eyes raised up to meet yours, "do you want to marry me?" he repeats his question calmly.
it was a day like every other — the both of you sitting on the couch, the television on yet nobody's paying attention to it. nanami has his eyes on the magazine in his grasp, and you were on your phone, scrolling through social media.
"yeah, of course i do."
nanami takes out a velvet colored box from his pocket and opens it up, you stared at him in confusion; wondering if this was a joke or not, is he actually proposing to you while you were in your pjs? but that actually didn't bother you — it was the fact he is proposing to you.
"marry me." he murmurs out softly, taking the beautiful ring out of its place, waiting for your acknowledgement.
your tears began flowing out and it took nanami by surprise, "sweetheart, i'm sorry. was it too sudden? you don't have to—" you shook your head at him, wiping your tears away.
"i'm just so . . . happy, ken."
that was the first time he made you cry.
✴ TWO : HIS WEDDING VOWS
your wedding was a simple ceremony. it was filled with fun and laughter, your loved people were there — his loved people were there, gojo and his students were there. it was just, a one fine day, really.
when it comes to the delivering of vows, traditionally; the groom goes first.
"y/n, i'm not good with my words, but you know me better than anyone else, so i assume you know that as well. we met five years ago when i bought a casse-croûte in a bakery you worked in; and if you had told me then that we'd be standing here and i'd be spending the rest of my life with you, maybe i wouldn't believe in you and told you that you were saying nonsense.
first and foremost, i would never thought that a one stop shop in a bakery would lead me to the love of my life — that day, i decided to stop by the bakery you worked in because my usual place was closed for the day, when i think about that, i get so overwhelmed; if my usual shop had opened that very day, maybe you would be standing here with another man, another man who is not me.
y/n, you are the most curious person i have ever met in my life. and i am pretty sure you are asking yourself now, what is kento thinking of right now? the answer is you. i am thinking about you now, later, and forever. from the first day you asked me if i liked casse-croûte, i have not once stopped thinking about you.
i was never a person who sought for relationship or thought of it a lot in the past, but when you came into my life. i began thinking of my future with you, making our own happy family, having kids, traveling the world, all of that. the moment i saw you take your time to wake up before me to cook me breakfast before i go to work, i knew i just had to make you my wife. i want to spend the rest of my life with you.
you love me and completed me in ways i do not know existed, and my love — i promise you, that from here onwards, i will continue to love you and every piece of you and for who you are yet to become. i promise to be your husband, your best friend, your partner in crime as you always like to name it, and your number one supporter, also as you name it.
above all, i promise to show you how lucky i am to have you in my life. i cannot wait to start a new chapter in my life with you, i love you."
it was safe to say that everyone in the room was crying, including you (and gojo, who had to be escorted out by megumi because the male was straight up sobbing loudly).
✴ THREE : WHEN HE DIED
shibuya. october 31, 2018. god, how much you dreaded every single thing that happened in there — just the thought of october coming after that year made your stomach churn in sadness.
the day a lot of people lost their life, including nanami.
nanami is a strong man, and you know so. you believed in him, never did you once stopped believing in your husband; but the whole time nanami was fighting for his and everyone's life in shibuya, you were back at home with your few months old son.
"daddy is going to be okay, yeah? he's gonna be back soon," you cooed to your son despite the rising wariness.
but no, nanami never came back.
the one to break the news was no other than itadori yuuji himself, the sole witness to your husband's passing — he knocked on your door, beaten up, although his wounds were tended to. you knew the shibuya incident scarred the young boy with something that couldn't be closed off now or maybe ever.
"he's not coming back, is he?" you ask the teen with a sad smile.
itadori broke down on your porch that day. and you, nanami's wife was the one comforting him, after all, watching someone you care die in front of you was traumatizing. but itadori blamed himself for nanami's death — he was baffled when you pulled him into a tight hug, "it's my fault y/n-san! i killed him. he's dead because of me."
as much as nanami doesn't display his affection to itadori, you were a witness to how nanami really feels towards the young boy. telling you how he wishes your son would grow up to be just like itadori, bubbly and energetic. nanami cares about itadori like the boy was his own — although failing to show it.
"did he . . . did he say anything before he . . ?"
itadori cried in your embrace, "he . . . said he was sorry. for not coming back. and that he loves you and your son so much . . ." itadori was barely taking breaths in, he was hyperventilating in your arms, "he said he was sorry that he won't be able to accompany you to malaysia."
"okay." you didn't cry as itadori was breaking the news to you, you couldn't.
nanami's death quieted you — you didn't cry the first week, still not believing he was actually gone. finding yourself sitting on the couch, waiting for the male to open the door and to call out for you, "y/n, i'm home."
but it never happened. nanami was really gone. he's really dead.
grief is such an odd feeling, you relied on itadori to look after your son for the first two weeks as you didn't find yourself in the right mind to be capable of taking care of your own flesh and blood. a day before your son was going back into your care — you went grocery shopping, to buy things both nanami and you used to buy.
it was a mistake on your part not to use a basket or a trolley, putting all the stuff on the cashier counter was hard work. and as the baby food you put on top of the pile slipped through your fingers and dropped onto the floor, splattering the contents everywhere, you can't help but to let a few stray tears out.
your silent sobs turning into a full blown breakdown in the middle of a grocery shop as everything began coming in, a reality check.
that nanami was no longer going to be there with you again, you couldn't feel him anymore, you couldn't hear him anymore, you couldn't smell his cologne anymore.
but the world doesn't stop for that, it will keep going and you had to go on with your life without him.
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© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
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