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#(the problem with all my coworkers tbh)
purplexiasphinx · 5 months
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ame. if you even care
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niishi · 6 months
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Sensory issues that make me not want my hair to touch my neck/ears
vs.
chronic migraine disorder that can be triggered by wearing my hair up for too long or wearing anything on my head at all
vs.
ppl telling me they like me more with long hair&making me feel insecure about having short hair
#im gonna kms#its an every day issue#i dont have this problem when i have short hair#but i HATE feeling judged i get so hyperfocused on it and it makes me so sad and i cant cope w it tbh#its something i work tirelessly to change by trying to be mindful and not give a fuck but#its HARD#so many ppl express how much they like my long hair better and I just wish they'd keep it to themselves#bc now im like rlly insecure about having short hair again#idk.... i remember back in the day when i was working at the smoke shop and had short hair#there were a bunch of girls who would express how good it looked and how theyve always wanted short hair but#their face was too fat or it wouldnt look good on them#and i would encourage them and tell them if its what you want and it would make you happy then it will always suit you and look good#no one in this world has a “face” for short hair#all of our faces suit whatever hair we want for ourselves#but pol have this opinion based off of society constructed beauty standards#and will just outright way or imply#that you look better following those standards#i think ppl should find happiness and self confidence more attractive than adherence to beauty standards#i successfully convinced one of my coworkers and an old and younger customer to cut their hair short#and they were so bright and excited to show me after they did it#and i hyped them up to hell and back like it made me emotional bc it takes courage to embrace your happiness#despite others judgements#im just#not as brave anymore#im rlly tired tbh#anyways srry im just emotional bc my head hurts and im overstimulated from my hair touching my neck jshfjekduriwj
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rowenabean · 11 months
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spent several years learning how to be vulnerable and now it's become Too automatic and i need to relearn how to not tell people i barely know about my life problems
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hatefulvirago · 11 months
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Hundreds year war (indoor cat people v outdoor cat people)
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pumpkinstabs-moving · 2 years
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ihavemyfits · 1 year
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a boy w somewhat artsy eyeliner was our cashier at a shop today and im sorry to say that i havent changed at all since i was a kid. i am not immune to guyliner
#like i havent felt like 'omg... what a cutie hiii' abt a guy for a While but he was cute.#in other news i think i have a lil crush on a Nother coworker. -_- but it will go away i hope.#tbh i think actually a few of my coworkers r cute... 3.5 guys and 2 girls now#more guys i know :/ but there are simply so few adult women there. all the girls r highschoolers and even then theyre scarce...#male dominated workplace fr.#20 guys and 12 girls :| TWELVE. WHOLE GIRLS. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE FUN EVER WHEN I DONT LIKE TALKING TO GUYS OR BEING AROUND THEM OR#BEING FRIENDLY TO THEM OR HAVING FUN W THEM OR ANYTHING I ONLY LIKE GIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRLLLLLSSSSSS#if it was mostly girls i swear to god id be a different person and tbh that probably part of the problem of why im so dead/indifferent to t#he world so often when im at work. i can only start relaxing the rare moments when its just girls#i do not think i am gay currently or if i am which i have to admit is still a distinct possibility i am still in the deep and wretched#throes of a lifetime of comphet brainwashing so when i say i only like girls i mean like. technically and theoretically and hypothetically#and in the exact right circumstances and w caveats i like guys but..#my friends my whole life have been 95% girls. i just prefer spending time around girls in literally any form or way...#guys are just like the fun and interesting hypotheticals i play/experiment w in my mind and then use what ive learnt w them to transfer#onto what to me is the Real Deal what Really matters which is girls. like boys to me are just a testing ground so that i dont accidentally#explode a girl i really like w my mind in a pointless way. kinda thing
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violetclarity · 2 years
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in a ~fun~ turn of events I think this year I hate my job not because of the *gestures to conservative catholic institution* everything but because the ratio of direct coworkers whom I like vs. dislike has gone from 2:1 to 1:2 and I am LOSING IT
#like that post about how much time you spend with your coworkers vs. friends and family over the course of your life?#that's been making the rounds on instagram?#crying bc why do I spend 8 hours a day with people who I DO NOT LIKE PERSONALLY and have NOTHING IN COMMON WITH#even the coworker I do like is in thin fucking ice okay!!#like it would be more accurate to say that I dislike her the least of my coworkers#I mean we get along but also she's very fatphobic and not as liberal as she thinks she is and so privileged & unaware of it#(the problem with all my coworkers tbh)#(violently flashing back to the time I pointed out that one coworker was lucky her sons wouldn't have to take out student loans for college)#(and she tried to tell me she understood how I felt bc she'd had to take out a second mortage ON HER HOUSE to avoid grad loans)#(she OWNED A HOME and was able to use that investment to fund her grad school and she thinks that's the same?? vom)#anyway this post is brought to you by the fact that one of my coworkers put up a starbucks tree#and I've decided that it's representative of everything I dislike about her#and all our ideological differences#it is mere feet away from my computer I have to see it all. day.#I want to smash every ornament on that tree is 2g#sorry if I sound violent I had to bite my tongue today while someone told me they use amazon for the convenience#even though jeff bez0s is shit!!#just like I bite my tongue all! day! every! day!#brb screaming forever
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wonkixo · 14 days
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GOOD GIRLS — y. jungwon
pairing badboy!yjw x goodgirl!fmr genre situationship to lovers (?) synopsis jungwon is your getaway from your highly adorned status as your parents' perfect little girl. warnings suggestive, v rushed angst, fluff (kind of), mentions of sex (although there is no actual smut), mentions of alcohol/drinking, grownup adults being strict/have high expectations?, not proofread :p
AUTHOR'S NOTE one of my favorite tropes ever tbh except i did nawttt do it justice :// i kinda wrote this sporadically as i just wanted to try out a written fic lol. i promise my next written work will be better 🫡 ofc inspired by good girls by 5sos :3 (listened to that banger at least 10x while writing this) likes n reblogs would be greatly appreciateddd <3
"We apologize YN could not make it to tonight's dinner. She informed us late last night that she was unable to make it due to a prior commitment with her tutoring job."
Your parents were ecstatic to be speaking so highly of you to your father's coworkers. Tonight's dinner was intended to honor your father's promotion at his work, but all your parents could speak about was you.
As their only daughter (actually, their only child for that matter), you were their pride and joy. The end of your senior year of high school was approaching, and you were set to attend your top university on a full ride scholarship. Your parents could not have been any more proud of you.
"That's no problem whatsoever. It's lovely to hear how dedicated your daughter is to her studies. It's quite a shame to admit that such children like yours are rare nowadays." Your father's boss chimes in, smiling softly at the two parents.
Little did they know that the little girl they were speaking so highly of, was off somewhere in the backseat of a certain somebody's car.
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Your parents left you home alone, anticipating that you would drive yourself to your tutoring session moments after they left. However, there you were in the backseat of Jungwon's car, who had picked you up and drove to an empty parking lot by a nearby beach.
You sat prettily atop his lap, quietly kissing at his Adam's apple while his one of his arms circled your waist with his other hand holding a soju bottle. "You know I love you, right?"
You pulled away from Jungwon, staring at him with adoration after his statement. "Of course I do, and I love you more." Jungwon responds with a small smile, showing off his dimples, before taking a quick swig of his soju.
With the way Jungwon was acting tonight in comparison to other nights, as he was acting less feverish and more so solemn, you knew something was up. "You look like you have a lot going through your mind, pretty boy. What's wrong, Won?"
He slid the soju bottle into the side compartment before resting both his hands on your waist. "Don't forget about me when we graduate."
You tilted your head in confusion. "Why would I ever?" But you knew more than anyone why, especially now, he would be doubting your relationship... if you could even call it that.
For one, there was no clear label between you two. You were not boyfriend and girlfriend. Heck, students around you at school do not even associate you together.
You two ran in different crowds — Jungwon was apart of the popular kids; constantly getting into trouble at school (and occasionally with the law), while you were considered a student of poise and leadership with your top grades and excellent extracurriculars.
The only reason why you two even got to know each other in the first place was truly because of fate.
You two had been assigned as chemistry laboratory partners your junior year. Although your dynamic started off sour at first for obvious reasons, having spent more and more time together brought you two closer.
Restroom breaks during class became steamy makeout sessions in the janitor's closet. After school study sessions turned into having sex in the backseat of his car or in his bedroom.
All that aside, you knew Jungwon was doubting your relationship now because your time together was coming to a close. With graduations came goodbyes, but neither of you wanted to think about leaving each other just yet.
But Jungwon knew you had a bright future ahead of you and he did not want to get in the way of that. "YN, we're graduating soon. You're going to be so successful. You don't need me anymore."
You shook your head in disagreement, placing your forehead against his while you cupped his face in your hands. "Respectfully Jungwon, shut the fuck up."
Your blunt honesty brought upon a slight chuckle from Jungwon and you smile to yourself for lifting up the mood at least a tiny bit. "Jungwon, I couldn't care less as to how my future plays out. All I care about is that you are apart of it. You are my present and you are my future."
Jungwon heard the pure sincerity in your voice and his heart could not help but flutter. "Let's just enjoy each other right now, in this moment. Okay? We'll figure out all our shit later. We'll figure it all out together, Won. I love you."
"I love you so much, YN." In response, you kiss both of Jungwon's cheeks, then his lips, then you reattach your lips to his neck. You suck at his skin harshly, bringing out a moan from the boy under you.
"You're such a vixen, pretty."
"Hmm, you think so?" You pull away from him, admiring the mark you left as the moonlight hit against you two perfectly.
Jungwon turned his head to you and kissed your lips, giving you a taste of the soju's green grape flavor. "You're my vixen though." He mutters against your lips, before pulling you in once more.
The kiss quickly became hot and needy, with the way one of Jungwon's arms wrapped tighter around your waist while the other reached up to your neck, where his hand applied the slightest amount of pressure.
You responded to the gesture with a light moan against his lips and your hips began to move against his. "I want you so bad." You mutter against lips as your hips moved faster against him, indicating your desire.
Jungwon pulled away from your lips and began to trail kisses against your jaw. His hands moved underneath your shirt and as his hands began to play with the clasp, your phone loudly dinged. You groaned as you pulled away from Jungwon and took your phone out your pocket.
Mom <3: Hey sweetie! Sorry to bother.. Are you still tutoring? Wanted to let you know Dad and I will be home soon.. Love you ❤️
"That was your parents, wasn't it?" You nod as you returned the phone to your back pocket. Jungwon's hands returned to your waist and began to fiddle with your belt loops.
"Let's get you home, pretty. We can't let your parents find out just how bad my good girl is." Jungwon looked at you with starry eyes, which were quickly taken aback as you suddenly grabbed his hands on your waist and placed them above his head. "How about no?"
You felt Jungwon shuffle underneath you, clearly turned on by your assertion of dominance. "Good girls are bad girls that just haven't been caught anyway." You gently whispered into Jungwon's ear before your lips reattached to his and your hands made its way to the button of his jeans.
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exhaslo · 1 month
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Helloo! Can i request about moth reader and yandere miguel?.. I really appreciate all your writing! I hope you had a good day!
Tbh I'm not sure if you actually mean "moth" or if you meant "goth" but you know what...
Why not both? Haha, I think I have an interesting idea for it.
Warning: Possessiveness, experimentation, fluff, mentions of sex, manipulation
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This was NOT how your experiment was supposed to go.
This was NOT how you expected your life to turn out.
This was NOT how you wanted Miguel O'Hara to see you.
You had always been the oddball at your job. Most told you that it was rare to find such a 'creature' like yourself. It was always frustrating to explain to those ingrates that you were just expressing yourself the way as many did during the Great Hero Age.
You were a proud goth. Not many committed to this life style anymore as they focused more on the future. Hell, you had spent a good amount of money trying to find old CDs and Vinyl's from back in the day. There were many things that had disappeared within the last hundred years.
All you wanted to do was bring back an old culture to the year 2099!
The only person who did not mind your lifestyle was one of your regulars...
Miguel O'Hara
The man was the definition of fine. He was tall, hot and oh so perfect. He had wanted to get to know you at your little coffee shop and quickly became your regular.
Miguel was understanding. He enjoyed listening to you talk and even took your suggestions. You knew someone as perfect as him would not join in your lifestyle, but you were just happy that he bothered to give you the time to explain.
However...
How would Miguel react to you now?
You were desperate for money, so you decided to take an offer from Alchemax-the biggest company in the city...If not, the world. The only problem was that you didn't expect for the turnout. This was not what you were expecting at all!
It felt like a nightmare! You felt different already compared to your futurist coworkers, but now...to your fellow humans? Alchemax turned you into a freak! Who would bother to look at you now? What were you going to do now?!
"Ah, my dear (Y/N), how beautiful,"
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From the moment he laid eyes on you, Miguel knew that you were special. Call it fate, but Miguel just knew that you were meant to belong to him.
Miguel knew that he had to control himself. He didn't want to scare you after all. So, he started by stopping by your work. Bringing up small chat, getting to know you. Loving everything about you. Loving to find out new things about you.
When you weren't working, Miguel would follow you home as Spider-Man. He needed to protect you. Such a fragile human like yourself knew not of how to protect themselves. You were a target for people to pick on.
And who better to protect you than Miguel?
Miguel made sure that no man got near you. Every guy who even dared smile or tried to flirt with you disappeared. Everyone who dared give you a hard time, Miguel made sure they were taught a lesson.
The more Miguel got to know you, the more he became obsessed with you. You were perfect for him. His lovely little doll. Miguel made a special room for you in his place. Put everything you would like and even started to take some of your stuff.
This room was going to be yours very soon. That bed would be where Miguel will show you his love. Where you will conceive his child and become his wife. Your body and soul will belong to him.
Miguel knew you were short for cash. He knew that no one wanted to help a freak like you. It was a shame. Only Miguel knew how wonderful and kind you were. How amazing your lifestyle was and how this world was too naïve to embrace you.
So, Miguel thought of a plan. He watched as you accepted the offer from Alchemax and went to get your blood done. It made Miguel shudder as he watched you undress for the doctor, wanting to make sure that you were healthy for the test.
That body was only for Miguel to see, but he will let this slide since it was a woman doctor.
Once the experiment began, Miguel watched from the sidelines. He waited for his moment to swoop in and change the procedure. Why? Because Miguel was going to give you a reason to stay with him.
"What have you done?!" You cried out, sobbing at your new form.
The doctors and scientists panicked and fled to find some information and excuse for what went wrong. While Miguel stood in awe at your beautiful new form.
Your DNA was now mixed with that of a moth. You had large gorgeous wings and your hair had streaks of white. You were crotched down on the floor, sobbing as you tried to cover yourself from the bright lights.
"Ah, my dear (Y/N), how beautiful," Miguel couldn't help but say cheerfully as he approached you, "Don't cry (Y/N), it's going to be okay."
"M-Miguel? W-What are you doing here?" You sobbed quietly, covering your eyes, "I-It's so bright...I'm getting dizzy."
"Shh, I know. I know,"
Miguel was careful with your wings as he wrapped his arms around you. Your warmth was comforting. Your scent, better than he could ever imagine. Who better than to love you now than him?
"I know you're confused, but come with me. I'll take care of you."
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Miguel was true to his word. You had followed the man whom you had a crush on, scared for your new form. Miguel gently explained what happened, saying that it was an error on the scientists he watched over. Since it was under his watch, Miguel claimed to take responsibility for you.
You wanted to find it strange that Miguel already had a room for you, but you were too stressed to care. Your mind was all over the place and your body felt strange. The room was dark and cool. Much to your liking.
"(Y/N), I brought you some food." Miguel called out.
As he entered, he held up a small lantern, to which you felt drawn too. You pressed yourself against Miguel, wanting to reach for the light, but Miguel chuckled and brought you back to the bed. His hand stroked your cheek, placing the food on your dresser,
"You are so cute, (Y/N)," Miguel whispered, kissing your head. You hummed lowly,
"Why...are you so kind to me?"
"Ah," Miguel chuckled lowly as he held your hand, "Because I love you. We were meant for each other."
That sounded nice. Honestly, who would love you now as you were? Hell, who would even want anything to do with you now? You were part moth. At least now your gothic lifestyle matched your new look. Hell, it made your wings pop out more.
"Miguel...I...I um, I like you too."
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Yes.
YES!
Miguel could hardly control his laughter as you fell into the palm of his hand. Of course you loved him. You had no one else to turn too. No one else to help you.
Miguel made sure to keep you believing that you needed him. From helping you figure out your powers, to fucking you senselessly during the night and day.
Miguel gave you everything you wanted.
Just as long as you behaved and listen to everything he did and said. Miguel smiled as you approached him in the living room, showing off the new gothic attire he had bought for you. Doing a little spin, Miguel groaned softly as you let your wings spread.
"So beautiful." He hummed. You smiled, sitting on his lap,
"Miguel...could we go out? I want to fly for a bit," You begged.
Miguel just smiled as you waited for his response. You knew of his secret and made sure to not do anything he wouldn't like.
"Of course, baby, but I have to give you a good reminder on what to do and what not to do,"
You just nodded, smiling as Miguel pressed you against the couch. Your back to him as your wings were on full display. Miguel groaned softly as he held your waist, ready to give you some good reminders about going outside.
After all...
You were Miguel's.
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Def unique and different, so I hope you enjoyed!!!
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uplatterme · 1 year
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My Dearest, Cupid
a/n: happy valentine’s! i hate the transition. you can see i'm trying to tell something but i can't tell it properly. nothing too daring tbh.
cw: sub!thoma, cupid!thoma, dom!reader, gn!reader | wing kink(?), bondage, blindfold, implied voyeurism
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Thoma’s fingers shake as he continues writing on his notepad. This is his job, he has to get used to this at some point. 
He observes, then he writes. 
This is Thoma’s first time being directly assigned to someone. After all his hard work, he’s finally been promoted and is considered capable enough to handle humans.
His first mission is already a freebie, since his goal only concerns a single human, unlike the others who were known professionals who take more than he can even imagine.
The cupid follows you, continuing to take note of the things you do. He’s been doing this for a week now, his notepad filled with random information about you. He knows of your likes and dislikes, your hobbies, your measurements, your schedule…
Of course, it’s just because of his job. He doesn’t…see you in that way.
At this point, the time he’s taking to have you fall in love with someone else is already exceeding the average. He tells himself that it’s just to be careful, that he didn’t want to mess up his first day on the job. However, he can’t hide it from himself that he’s getting cold feet.
If it was Kazuha, he would have helped by whispering verses of love that could increase their human’s possibility of their confession being accepted.
On the other hand, his senior Ayato, would indirectly signal to their human by suggesting what clothes to wear, heightening their confidence about themselves.
Lastly, Miko would be the type to slip something in their human’s drink that would make them feel and look more seductive.
None of those suited Thoma. He’s not great with words to begin with, always seeming to overthink what it is that he says. He’s also not well-versed in the type of clothing that humans wear, so he can’t help in that area. 
He sighs. While he could use gadgets that would make this mission easier, that didn’t seem fair or natural.
It doesn’t even look like you need his help anyways. You seem to be doing fine on your own. The only problem was, he doesn’t know who would be the perfect match for you. 
Unfortunately, time is running out. He needs to fill up your love meter at the end of the day.
He decides based on what he knows. Your coworker looks the closest to you. All he needs to do is to shoot you with an arrow, and make sure that they’re the first person you see right after, giving you that little boost to profess the hidden love you have within your heart. Then, his objective is reached.
Thoma waits, aiming the arrow while you get out of your car. He sees you fix your hair, bending slightly so you can look into the mirror of your car. He takes a deep breath, swallowing all the anxiety away.
After parking your car, he readies his bow. He knows that your coworker will pass by this area at this time since there’s a meeting that’s scheduled for them today.
“Alright,” He whispers to himself, letting go of the arrow as soon as you exit your vehicle.
The arrow flies straight, hitting your chest directly. You stand there quietly, a weird feeling bursting from your chest. It’s a normal side-effect, so he doesn’t worry.
As he predicted, the coworker exits the building and notices you. They’re only a few feet away.
He counts the seconds left until your eyes meet…your body staying still as they walk towards you.
Everything was going to plan.
Was.
A car enters the parking lot, beeping for you to get away.
Oh no. This cannot be happening.
Your mind is still stunned, needing a few more seconds to recover.
His jaw drops in worry. No way the first human he gets assigned to dies because of an external factor.
He panics. He can’t let you die, but Thoma can’t be seen by humans either!
It’s one or the other. Either way, he’s screwed.
He’ll for sure get suspended for this.
Thoma goes quickly, grabbing your body in his hands and flying away from the situation. He made sure your coworker didn’t see anything, though disappearing out of nowhere is still suspicious.
He bites the bottom of his lips, his tiny wings fluttering in worry…
“Uhm, excuse me?”
Thoma looks down to see you conscious, still trapped in his arms. 
He abruptly lets go, unsure of what to say as you stare at him. His wings shy away, this is the first time he’s been seen by a human. Thoma gazes down at the floor, waiting for you to say anything.
“Are you alright?” You question.
“I—Yeah! I-I’m fine!” 
The guide to becoming a cupid never said anything about this!
“You know, you’re really pretty.” You blurt out.
Thoma laughs awkwardly, heat starting to show in his cheeks.
“Thank you…”
A compliment. A human is complimenting him. God, you’re complimenting him.
“Do you always wear that?” You ask, eyeing him from top to bottom.
Thoma nods at your question, starting to get embarrassed by what he’s wearing. It’s a lot different and more showy than what humans usually wear.
“You’re not going to introduce yourself?”
Thoma blinks.
Is he supposed to?
“I’m Thoma…I’m a cupid.”
He waits for you to react aggressively. You didn’t.
Instead, you tug the white fabric of his clothes and you look up at him to ask permission.
“S-Sorry. Is there a problem?” Thoma asks, letting you control his body.
You shook your head. Your hands hover over his body, framing it before touching skin against skin. He gasps a short and tense breath. 
He stares into your eyes and decides that can’t do it anymore. He squeaks, accidentally letting go of his prized notepad, landing between your feet.
“Oh, you dropped this…huh.” Thoma looks anxious as you keep reading its contents.
“Cupid, you’ve been stalking me?”
You’re not mad, not at all. After all, how could you when a handsome fellow swoops in to save you? Granted, he was the one who put you in danger—
Still, the stressed angel in front of you doesn’t look like he means any harm. Especially not with the notes written on the papers…
Come on, cute doodles of you? Your favorite ice cream flavor?
“You were setting me up?” You conclude.
He nods.
“Thoma, you do know that coworker is married, right?”
The cupid blinks at you, wondering if he heard wrong.
“There’s a ring on his finger. Did you not see?”
He thinks, and then he realizes. You’re right.
He bows his head apologizing profusely.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad that at least ended with me meeting you.” You reassure.
“No, no. It isn’t supposed to be like this…” He sighs in disappointment.
“At this point, your love meter won’t be filled!” He exclaims.
You stand still, a soft giggle slipping out of you that turns into a loud laugh.
“I’m sorry. A what?” That name was obnoxious. 
“I didn’t name it!” He argues. The more Thoma spends more of his time with you, the more he feels his chest aches.
“Right, right. So, how exactly do you fill it up?”
Thoma can’t see a single thing, red cloth covering his eyes. 
His hands are tied behind his back. It’s silent, he can’t even hear your breathing to calm him down.
He understands that’s the point, to make him feel more sensitive, he’s…written about these in his notes.
That you’re that kind of lover who enjoys these kinds of things.
“I wonder, how much is it that you know about me?”
A lot, Thoma wants to answer. Though he shuts his mouth, knowing he’ll get into trouble if he says anything out of turn.
“Are you a pervert, Thoma?” 
He shakes his head.
You hum disappointedly. “You’re not being honest. Should I read what this note says?”
His body tenses up. “W-What note?”
“Spying on me while I pleasure myself. Don’t you think that’s perverted?” 
He’s glad he can’t see your face, he knows you’re shaming him and he won’t be able to take it to see you eyeing him like that.
Your hand slowly caresses his thigh, nothing extreme yet but he knows how this’ll end up. 
“Pretty wings.” 
A slight pinch of his wings sends the cupid whining, his whole body trembling. “D-Don’t…”
“Do all cupids act this slutty or is it just you?”
“My wings are sensitive…” He says, as if you can’t tell that already.
“Such soft feathers.”
He’s never been touched there intimately. His body reacts almost as if he was under some sort of love spell. Thoma’s body moves as you brush your fingers carefully. You were being gentle, yet somehow that annoys the cupid, he’s not that delicate.
He muffles the sounds emerging from his throat by pressing his face on the pillow. He doesn’t like hearing himself sound so whorish…for the lack of a better term. He writhes on the bed, laying on his stomach while he lets you have your way with him. His ass beautifully bouncing with each nudge.
His cock grinds on the soft cushion, the friction immensely satisfying him, a whimper spewing out. After a while his hips start moving on their own, the teasing of his wings getting to his mind.
“Are you that desperate, angel?”
“It feels good…” He says, moving away from the pillow. He can’t see it but he’s well aware of how he’s drooling on it.
“Alright, I’ll let you.” 
He lets out a grateful hum, his wings fluttering as he positions himself. He then squirms as bright light greets him, your fingers taking off the blindfold. Thoma’s taken by surprise, seeing your smile and lifting his body up with ease.
The ties on his wrists make it difficult to resist. Not that he wants to, anyways. 
You position him to face you, his hands still behind his back.
“Do it then, since you’re so desperate to get yourself off.”
His mouth gapes, not sure how to reply. 
“I-In front of you?” He can’t even look you straight in the eye even when just having a normal conversation and you want him to…do that when he’s positioned like this?
“Must I remind you what your notes say again?” You tease.
“N-No! It’s okay. I’ll do it.” Thoma states. 
He grits his teeth, his face burning while he starts moving his lower half.
He’s shaking but it’s more due to the fact that you’re staring at him while he moves his body as if he’s performing for you. He wishes he could put the blindfold back, to at least relieve himself of the humiliation and pretend that you aren’t there.
He can’t cover his mouth or his eyes, forced to sink in the shame. 
Thoma’s not good at this, his movements are sloppy, and each tingle he feels has him needing to stop and take a breath before he could continue even further.
You’re not saying anything, just looking at him with boredom in your eyes. He worries. Did he do something wrong? Is he taking longer than you expected?
And just like that, he crumbles.
“P-Please look at me.” He begins to quicken himself, allowing his mouth to let out whatever lewd sounds it wants.
He looks at you, eyes half-lidded from how he knows that each thrust on the bed succumbs him even deeper and closer to his climax.
His pleas eventually mix with moaning. His voice gets louder as he chants your name, as if he’s fucking you when in reality all he’s doing is humping the bed pathetically.
Shit.
With a sultry whine, Thoma’s drenched in white. 
White that matches his skin, his wings, his tears.
He trembles looking at you for some sort of approval. He excitedly awaits your response, seeing you come towards him.
“Great job.” The cupid expects a pat on the head with those words, though what comes after was more surprising.
A soft kiss planted on his lips, perfectly soothing away all his worries. The cupid’s heart feeling as if he’s the one struck with the arrow.
Oh no.
He’s supposed to make you fall in love, not him!
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yeonjunszn · 1 year
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ASAP!
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PAIRING! mark lee x f!reader
GENRES! fluff﹒crack﹒slice of life?
WARNINGS! as per usual, it is not a yeonjunszn smau without my sailors mouth — so mature language, coffee shop!au cause i work in one and couldn’t resist myself, this smau is actually a recreation of a yeonjun smau called cool it! by my bff past tumblr user yuitaru, manager mark era, kinda dumb reader (affectionate) era, milf lover jeno, insane jaemin and hyuck, chenle in his nepotism baby era tbh, there’s a fight scene somewhere, also annoying fluffy cute disgusting scenes here and there, an overt amount of coffee shop/barista references bc i am a master at my craft, mr. choi yeonjun has a cameo to pay homage to the original cool it!, ignore time stamps cause i was lazy lol, lmk if i missed anything!
FEAT! the rest of nct dream, yangyang + xiaojun + hendery from wayv, chaewon from le sserafim, sumin from stayc, mingi + the rest of the ateez ‘99 line, and yeonjun from txt
SUMMARY! you’re not exactly the best barista at zhong coffee, but for some unknown reason (his massive crush on you), mark thinks you can do no wrong. sick and tired of his favoritism and your lack thereof due to absolute obliviousness, your coworkers are determined to fix this problem. asap.
STATUS! completed!
BEGINNING! june 1, 2023
END! august 31, 2023
MORE! HELLOOOO im back bffs 😵 did u miss me??? i have a quick little disclaimer for u guys so i don’t get accused of stealing 😻😻😻🫶
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thank u so much to rina my bff bestie soulmate for giving me the rights to recreate cool it! and sort of bring back such a fun smau </3 i’ve been working on asap! for quite some time now, between work and school, and i’m so excited i can finally share her with all of u 🫶 i do plan on going back to all my works that are on hold (including my 1k event LOL) but i was sort of burnt out for a while which is why i did all this in absolute silence 😋👍 anyway!! i hope i did her justice <3 send an ask to join the taglist!!
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PROFILES! mark’s biggest haters | espresso patronum | the rest of chenle’s coffee maids
ONE! please no tweeting on the clock, y/n!
TWO! manager zoned is crazy
THREE! BACK OF THE LINE PAL
FOUR! go work at mcdonald’s or something
FIVE! common chenle L
SIX! i always knew u were a furry
SEVEN! call me karen from mean girls
EIGHT! mark antis 1 - mark 0
NINE! the best ever (1.1k)
TEN! NANEUN ALCOHOL-FREE GEUNDE CHWIHAE
ELEVEN! YESSSS GO GIRL BOSS
TWELVE! i don’t owe u shit freeloader
THIRTEEN! force and sheer determination
FOURTEEN! yoooo mark how it be? what it do?
FIFTEEN! pick me choose me
SIXTEEN! lunch break (499)
SEVENTEEN! DONG SICHENG ?
EIGHTEEN! hey guys this is god
NINETEEN! i will force his hand into a blender
TWENTY! chocolate croissant (841)
TWENTY ONE! #xiaojun_out
TWENTY TWO! grinders and coffee beans (951)
TWENTY THREE! what is a marky/n
TWENTY FOUR! shaking shivering sobbing
TWENTY FIVE! every summertime (1.08k)
TWENTY SIX! worlds worst barista. fired.
TWENTY SEVEN! cool it
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© yeonjunszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
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deathnguts · 23 days
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Line Cook! Barty and Server! Regulus AU
Barty as a line cook was not my idea but like holy shit, literally him. If you know anything about line cooks, you know what I mean. (My dad was a head chef for a group of shitty line cooks and he would fucking hate Barty, and I think that’s a good enough reason to get him the job) ((in every universe Barty helps you hate your dad I think)) (((anyway)))
Like, Barty and his shitty sleeve tattoos and greasy rolled up sleeves. Barty and the douchebag thrill of absolutely disrespecting head chefs because he does not care. Barty taking way more smoke breaks than he’s allowed, but no one stops him because he’s actually the fastest cook there and he earned the extra time. Barty who’s the waiters favorite cook because he is itching for the opportunity to fuck with a rude customer (he would plate an asshole’s food in the shape of a dick no questions asked) Barty who’s temper is either completely gone (he’s probably high tbh) or like constantly a thread away from blowing up and he WILL fight that guy at table four who sent back the steak BECAUSE FUCK HIM HE WOULDNT KNOW MEDIUM RARE IF IT SLAPPED HIM OVER FUCKING DICK-
And Regulus is such a rich boy who does not need to work to live but damn it if he doesn’t do a great fucking job at it, yknow? He’s definitely one of those servers that every other server (Evan and Edgar?) is envious of because he gets away with being rude to customers. If anything it gets him more tips than anyone.
Regulus who doesn’t smile or ask how guests’ days are going because he does not care. Regulus who pretends to write down orders because his manager (Dorcas, maybe?) told him that was his biggest complaint amongst customers, but he doesn’t actually have to because he can memorize them all with like no mistakes. (If there are mistakes in the plate he serves you, they were purposeful.) Regulus who has perfect posture and a delicate French accent and perfect hair and unmatched face card and uses these things to get guests to forgive him for forgetting to fill their waters every single time without fail. Regulus who upsells expensive items with no problem because he was raised rich and knows how to market. (Bistro huddy reference anyone?) Regulus who rakes in absolutely crazy tips from older men because they think his disrespect is charming. (They specifically ask to be seated in his section)
Within the AU I imagine they would’ve met at work and they found each other entertaining. They probably became very banter-filled work friends that bitched to no end. Regulus has so much fun requesting Barty specifically make the orders with the craziest edits and Barty sends him back with some wonderful quotes for the guest. Barty probably catches feels first because he’s not above liking someone solely for how they look and how mean they are and then drills his roommate and coworker Evan for the details on the new server. They take forever to actually go on a date because it’s them, but they’ll get there someday.
Yeah I don’t have the actual like relationship part worked out at all but think of the vibes. THINK
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bloozz · 1 year
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yan!angel x gn!reader
: yandere behaviour!!, stockholm syndrome, gn reader, kidnapping, swearing, some nsfw elements??
🐟  - authors note: holy shit my last post blew up so heres a treat for yall!!! ily
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どうして あの日遊んだ海のにおいは どうして すぎる季節に消えてしまうの またおんなじ歌を歌うたび あなたを誘うでしょう...
-ado (the world’s continuation)
--------------
🌊. yan!angel who saw you helping an abandoned puppy on the street and immediately knew he needed you.
🦈. yan!angel who loves to wrap you in his wings :)) when he threatens to drop you if you dont obey him
🌊. yan!angel who wants you to worship him and all his unholiness holiness!!
🦈. yan!angel who can heal :D (so when he gives u injuries he can hide the evidence!) ps.. its by his saliva so interpret that however;)
🌊. yan!angel loves to cuddle you and wrap you in his arms as his halo glows (disrupting ur sleep smh)
🦈. yan!angel is definitely a switch :)
🌊. yan!angel who begs you to let him bring you to the afterlife so you guys can be together forever.. <3
🦈. yan!angel who’s wings are super sensitive (so is his personality tbh.. he's a baby at heart)
🐟 ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- ︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.
it was the dead of night... and you really wanted some sort of sleep. but theres a big big problem... the angel that kidnapped you has a fucking glowing halo above its head that’s brighter than the sun. he may not have to sleep but you need to.
“hey.. you haven’t fallen asleep yet, love..” he whispered. his face looked worried, and i could see his face very clearly, from the light emitting from his halo. 
“listen.. can we just not cuddle tonight? your halo is really bright and i cant sleep” you glared, feelin clearly grumpy from the lack of sleep. it seems he was about to start sobbing. he just couldn’t accept that and when you tried to squirm away he just trapped you with his big fluffy wings.
“move-- hey! what the heck are you doing?!” you exclaimed while flailing around helplessly against his wings. 
 he just smiled at you and covered your mouth with his hand.
“you can’t leave my grasp darling...”
🌊 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 🦈
hope u sinners like it!!! my last yan post blew up?? i love to read ur comments asking if yan househusband came in the food or if it was reader’s coworker!! ;))
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ttpd review: thoughts (and prayers)
cuz wtf was that. (also providing my two cents that no one gives a shit about)
Is the promotion in the room with us?
Not going to lie, this part pissed me off. As a post evermore release swiftie, the first album release I got was midnights. And while the promotion for midnights wasn't astoundingly genius, the track list release (midnights mayhem with me) was smart. Everyday, there would be chaos all over social media of taylor taking out a number and releasing the track name. The excitement over YOYOK was to die for. But after reaching peak fame, girlie just decided shit wasn't necessary anymore. Absolutely no promotion for ttpd, except a few lyrics that provided no context (or excitement) whatsoever. That, and the very non subtle "hinting" of some big reveal of what went down between her and joe, by making some playlists, that not only ruined the perspective of many of her fans and the relationship they had with her previous songs, but ALSO. THE ALBUM HAD BARELY ANYTHING ABOUT JOE. (Not that i personally care about what happened, but it was so unnecessary to center the ONLY promotion done around someone who was barely a part of the album). Swifties went on the internet to harass joe alwyn (and his female coworkers) who might as well be called a special mention on a matty healy album. Why even do all that then? We will never know.
Confusion?
taylor released 31 songs, and while a double album theory coming true would be a dream come true for any swiftie, it just... wasn't. Out of 31 songs, barely 10 stood out. Some of it just didn't make sense, in any way. "Why is this on the album?" "This sounds like a midnights vault track." "No issues, maybe this is just a skip. I'll listen to the next. Oh wait nvm. Um." Like girl what. It just feels like a giant vault album of synth pop music.
Also, it's called the tortured poets department. There is barely anything poetic or tortured about the album aesthetic. Except maybe it's torturing me, but I'm as much of a poet as she is, which basically means I'm not one.
The album just feels so different than the other albums, in the sense that they followed an aesthetic, a certain style of music and lyrics, and created some sort of story. This one just feels like she wrote many songs and put them all on an album, picked whatever track name seemed interesting enough as the album name, and called it a day. Some of the songs are gems, some create a confusion as to why they are on this album, and some just make you cringe- or atleast go "wtf". Which is fine, but if not even half the songs fall under the first category out of 30 songs, then it's a problem.
These were written by... taylor?
The lyrics omfg. I'm not going to be one of those ppl who go around saying that the lyrics sounded like an emo middle schooler (I've heard this take) BUT again, some songs have lyrics that make you question how taylor, someone who wrote the albums folklore and evermore, and many great songs like would've, could've, should've, story of us, all too well, fearless, white horse, dbatc, daylight, red... I could keep going tbh, produced...this.
It was very weird to listen to the words "tattooed golden retriever" from someone who wrote "handsome, you're a mansion with a view" (also who the FUCK is calling matty healy that??)
A very important part of taylor's music is how it is focused on the lyrics. The music itself isn't the most special, or different, in most of her songs, but what makes them (and her) special is her songwriting. However, from her songwriting going from commonly used phrases and idioms to make them tell a story, use a wide range of vocabulary, heavily using personification, allusion, transferred epithet, and a few other figures of speech that she uses in her songs to make elements such as colours, for example, tell a story, in a way it seemed effortless and fit perfectly, to this... now it feels like she's trying to do that, but that's it. She's TRYING, and it's not yielding results, and seems more like a try hard "poet" rather than... whatever she was going for. The songs are filled with self-satisfied "clever" metaphors that are being reused and recycled over and over. This is not what ppl meant when they asked you to be more environmentally friendly, taylor.
Final thoughts I guess?
While the songs are basically only an empty shell of something that taylor used to make, the album isn't all bad. Some of the songs do sound good and go well with taylor's voice (aaron dessner, the fucking legend you are) and are quite enjoyable, if not as memorable as her other songs.
There are songs such as the prophecy, clara bow, so long, london, loml, guilty as sin?, etc., that really do come through and honestly I really like them.
I do feel that the album can grow on people, but it's just... not the best. Like she says so much, and not to quote taylor swift, but genuinely the only thing in my head right now is "the more you say, the less I know".
Overall, the album is fine, but not in taylor swift standards. It's just... not bad, with some exceptions.
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no-psi-nan · 1 year
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Haha no worries! It's downplayed a lot in the series because it's supposed to be a comedy, but when you start looking more closely at the stuff Kuniharu does, it paints a picture of a terrible father and a bad husband too.
It's been a topic on the blog several times, so I'm sure people can chime in with more evidence, but here's what's off the top of my head...
Raised Kusuke. Nuff said tbh lol.
Kuniharu calls Kusuo a monster multiple times and is almost certainly the reason why Kusuke and Kusuo himself believe that Kusuo is an inhuman freak. This attitude is certainly not coming from Kurumi, and nobody else knew about Kusuo's power. From the beginning of the series, Kusuo genuinely believes he's unable to connect with other human beings, and it's mostly because of this attitude inherited from his father.
Kuniharu is never seen attempting to prevent Kusuke from constantly picking fights with his brother, and only attempting to discipline Kusuo for behavior that Kuniharu considers disrespectful to him. This is mostly a fact by omission, but we do see him belittling Kusuke when the kid obviously already has an inferiority problem.
Kuniharu is one of the worst performers at his job and the first to be let go in the case of a crisis. When he loses his job, he's unable to find any others because his only real skill is shoe-licking. This was a parody chapter though so questionably canon. He's always running late for his job though and we see him trying to make a manga artist rip off Naruto, so honestly it makes sense that he's that bad at his job. The only time he's shown as slightly competent at his job was during a parody chapter too hsfjdlshfks.
However what's definitely canon is that he either doesn't make much money or mis-spends most of it. In an area where Nendo's mom, a single woman, and Satou's family, the exact average family, can afford to live, Kuniharu had to take out an 80 year mortgage to pay for a similarly sized home. For context, most mortgages are for 30 years, 15 if you git gud. Btw, the house was literally a gift from Kusuke, Kuniharu insisted on paying out of manly pride or something. Sir, Kusuke is a freaking billionaire and this is like the only single no-strings-attached genuinely kind thing he's ever done hsfjdlshfks
Completely irresponsible with money: has a huge Valentine's day budget for his wife's gift ($3,000 iirc?) and then spends it all at the bar paying for his coworkers' drinks (the same guys who abuse him at his job and think he's garbage). He also spends huge amounts of money on his model figure collection, and has a whole room of gym equipment he never uses. As a result, Kusuo has a very small allowance and for some reason, his one favorite food (coffee jelly) is not included in the grocery list. Even though Kusuo canonically gets insane rock bottom prices for literally everything that gets bought in the household. How do you fuck up so badly financially that you can't buy your clinically depressed son the one (inexpensive!) thing that brings him joy??
By the way, Kuniharu started dating Kurumi when he was a college student and she was in high school. Kusuke was born like a year after they met, so you can do the math about how little time he spent before knocking her up 😬 They basically had a shotgun wedding. No wonder Kurumi's dad is NOT a fan of Kuniharu...
Literally one of the first chapters is Kuniharu and Kurumi domestic violence but make it funny. They're throwing furniture, Kuniharu is breaking the windows, Kurumi is yeeting her husband, and all this shit is over a single coffee jelly, which again, should be a normal part of the groceries for their household. They constantly bring their son into this drama too, which I'm sure is fantastic for his mental and emotional development btw.
There's a manga exclusive chapter that's a parody, so questionably canon, but in it Kuniharu physically attacks Kusuo multiple times over differences in opinion.
However, it IS canon that Kuniharu takes any opportunity to try to physically harm Kusuo. Ex. Hitting him in the massage episode and trying to step on him when he turns tiny.
Canon tries to redeem him a bit by showing moments where Kusuo is a baby and Kuniharu is trying really hard to make him smile because he wants his baby boy to be happy. Unfortunately that just makes it seem like he tried to be a good father for a bit when Kusuo was a baby, and then as soon as Kusuo's powers developed enough to make him miserable (the time when he needs the MOST familial support!), Kuniharu just gives up, and starts using Kusuo as his personal genie in a bottle. While also trying to fix his own fragile ego by attempting to establish dominance over his son. ????? Get therapy bro.
Canon also shows that Kuniharu's love points for Kusuo are the same as for his wife, however, not even Kuniharu believes that, as he tries to run away to evade it hsfjdlshfks. And even if he does love his son that much, he certainly doesn't show it in any meaningful way, because his literal MIND-READING SON doesn't know that. There are plenty of parents who truly love their kids and still abuse them like hell because they think that's the right thing to do (see Kaido's mom being overly strict because she wants to see him succeed in life), so the love points don't mean much imo.
Kuniharu does dole out a couple of pieces of wisdom (at Kusuo's wrong date birthday party and in the volcano arc) but that really doesn't make up for anything and even his wife thinks he's childish so... 🇫
Kuniharu is definitely funny as a character, and like I said, most of this requires digging into canon a little more, but once you start looking, it becomes clear that Kuniharu is just not a good person, father, or husband.
Like, I totally get that having a genius and a god as your kids would not be easy for any parent, but Kuniharu really doesn't try to make life better for either of his sons, preferring to get into petty squabbles with his wife and play video games/build models the rest of the time. I'm not saying dads can't have hobbies, but the only times we see him spending time with Kusuo is usually when he's begging for a favor, and he also clearly does zero housework whatsoever, so...
Anyways, I think Kurumi deserves a better husband and Kusuo deserves a better parent (or at least a break from being used as a magical favor vending machine lol) so I often joke on here that Kurumi should get a divorce and run polls about who she should marry instead and such!
Hope this helps! 👍🏾 Thanks for the question!
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missmielyhoran · 4 months
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Cameras
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She looks like a star but only on camera...
[Actor!Harry× Actress Oc!Amyra, Harry× Ellie]
A/N- Based on my interpretation of Cameras by Drake. I know you guys want Stages of grief but guys your girl is getting some alright! I'm happy right now let me be sad cause I'm dating a man afterall he's bound to do something and then I will update stages of grief<3
Warning- Smut babyyyyy, Cheating, Manipulation, Paparazzi, Fake Dating?, Toxic Harry and Oc, Choking, Hate fucking, just me being a menace tbh, ANGST, Enimes to lovers? they never get there tbh, oh and death, depression, abuse
Masterlist
*****
We've been living on the high, they've been talking on a low
But it's cool, know you heard it all before
Whispers were common for Harry. After all, that's what made him what he is today, famous.
The whispers paid his bills. All his luxury life was because of those whispers.
So he wraped his hand around her waist a little to close for coworkers or friends and definitely too close for someone he hated, but whispers grew louder, so did the camera shutters, and so did his pay.
Got you angry about this girl I'm with in all them magazines
Another plate went crashing against the wall just past Harry's head. He flinched and screamed.
"Are you fucking crazy!"
"Yes I am!" Ellie screams as she searches for another thing to throw at him, "You make me fucking crazy!" She screams and throws the magazine at him.
It hits him at the head, and that only makes his anger grow. He looked down and saw her smug face looking back at him like she was happy watching two of them fight, the satisfaction she was having from his misery.
Oh, how she got on his nerves even without being there.
"You're with her on everywhere! Magazines, social media, Twitter fucking everywhere. Everyone's talking about you two!" Ellie screams in anger, bringing the same topic of their fight for the millionth time.
It look like we in love, but only on camera
Only on camera, only on camera
"Ellie, you know it's only for the promotions! We need to have to spread the rumor to gain an audience! People love drama so we have to give them that!" Harry said, which was more like scream. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt headache growing.
"But for how long?" Ellie screamed. The only emotions she felt at this point were anger just anger, no tears, no sadness, no betrayal, just anger.
"I don't fucking know okay! Stop acting like a child and grow the fuck up!" He screamed again at her but louder making Ellie flinch which he noticed and he did feel bad.
See the problem was Harry didn't love Ellie, he care about her and she was a good fuck but he didn't love her but that care made him walk forward with a soft demour and kiss her softly.
"I hate her guts, Ellie. I have nothing with her. Whatever, it is just on camera. " He said, "If you want, you can check my phone"
"Yeah, I want to" Ellie said, sighing as she felt a bit lighter. Harry took his phone out of the jacket and gave it to her. Ellie went through his phone every corner of his phone she looked at, and that's only she felt relieved. There was nothing suspicious, and that made her feel embarrassed and sad about her overreacting.
"I'm so sorry, babe" Ellie said and hugged him. Harry hugged her back and chuckled mockingly
"It's alright Ellie" He said, "She's fucking crazy anyway" He said as he felt the burner phone vibrate in his back pocket.
Baby she looks like a star but only on camera
Only on camera, only on camera
Amyra was the talk of the town and has been since her birth.
Born to famous director dad and more famous actress mom she was the it girl since childhood.
She was pretty with her long red hair and sluttry brown eyes. She didn't have any extraordinary features, but that's what made her different. She was like any other person, but at the same time, she was not. She was Amyra Stockly, and she owned that.
No wonder she got Harry in her claws.
It's hard to stay away
You keep on calling me
Harry loved whispers no matter if it's from the paps or people gossiping about him when he passes by them or if it's from her tangled between the sheets.
"Yeah you fucking like that don't you?" He whispered in her ear and bit on it.
"No I fucking don't you forgot your today's dose of viagra or what?" She said laughing trying to rile Harry up which worked as he paused and groaned.
Harry grabbed her neck and pushed her face down into the pillow, making her lay on the bed on her stomach he pulled out of her immediately and then pushed in one go, making her moan into the pillow. He increased his pace, putting all his energy and thoughts in it.
"I don't even fucking know why I come back" He said in between breaths, "Cause you love my pussy, fucking pussy whipped" She said chuckling.
Harry gave her a particular harsh thrust making her moan louder than he has ever heard and he didn't know how in her green lively world he became harder still inside her.
"You like that baby? Pretty little Raya likes to be fucked like slut" He whispered in her ears as his fingers slid from her stomach to between her legs and he started rubbing her clit.
"She does but pretty little Harold seems to have forgotten about my clit it's on the fucking left" She says with gasping breaths. Harry feels embarrassment for a second but then goes back in with double encouragement and starts rubbing her clit faster.
She was so close so close to her eternal bliss when Harry's phone went off. She picked it up and as soon as she saw Ellie's name she threw it across the room making it shatter into pieces and all Harry did was chuckle cause it wasn't the first time it happened and certainly wasn't last.
Harry pushed on her back, making her arch more and started thrusting deeper, she screams on the top of her lungs as she squirted all over the bedsheets.
"Holy fuck" He said in disbelieve, the sight pushed him to his own high and he came all inside her filling her up to the brim.
Harry fell on the bed beside her, both heaving like animals. After a few minutes, she stood up and put on her slik robe and walked towards the windowsill and sat down lighting the cigarette.
The sight was somewhat what you would see in those Renaissance paintings, her robe slipping from her shoulder, the cigarette smoking mixing with the sunlight that fell just right on her hair making her look like all the sins and virtue combined in the heaven and the hell.
She was Harry's personal heaven in hell.
For a moment, Harry could've even said that he loved her, but he wouldn't. There was only one thing he could love that was money as much as the temptress she was. Nothing was worse than those green papers.
So, he stood up, got dressed, and walked out of the room like he cared so less about her. He walked out like he got the thing he wanted and couldn't have cared less.
But that wasn't true, was it? They both knew it just didn't want to acknowledge it.
So he left his temptress, his only sunshine in darkness on the windowsill with sin on her fingers and lips.
How you mean, how you mean, what you know about the team
You just know what you get told girl I see behind the scene
Harry didn't mean to peek, but when he heard shouting coming out of the trailer, he couldn't help himself.
The door was slightly ajar, but it was enough for him to look inside and watch her with a very angry look on her face, fighting with her manager still in set clothes.
"I can't do this shit anymore," She shouted, "I'm quitting. I can't do this movie, this spotlight, this fucking everything!" She shouted and this was the first time Harry saw her vulnerable. The raw expression on her face was much different from what she shows on the movie it was real, it was her.
"Why now? You've been in this since you were a newborn. Why now?" The manger asked her, "You can't do this cause you're tired or you are in love with your boytoy?" He asked, smirking.
She kept looking up at him with anger but now with slight hesitation. Robert laughed full of mokery and shook his head.
"Nothing to laugh about. I want out, and that's it." She put her foot down. Robert took a step forward and gribbed the back of her head, taking a chunk of her hair in her hand and making her wince.
Harry's hand formed a fist, but he refrained himself from intervening.
"I make rules here not you and you will do as I say or little kid wants this to get to her mom so, I will do that" He says with a evil smile when she doesn't say anything else he lets her go.
"That's what I thought."
Harry got out of the way before Robert could see him. As soon as he was out of the trailer, he went inside. Why? he didn't know he just wanted to.
He didn't know what he thought he would see, maybe her crying, sobbing on floor or breaking down whole trailer in anger shouting at everyonea anything expect her standing in front of the mirror flixing her hair like nothing happened.
He walked in slowly.
She looked at him.
He walked towards her and stood there looking into her honeycomb like mirage eyes and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug.
He felt her for the first time. He felt her rigid heart of stone melt into a puddle, and so he held her tighter, and for some reason, he never wanted to let her go.
He hoped she thought the same.
She spilled whisky on her shirt, she gon' have to get it cleaned
She been going way too hard, someone has to intervene
It was her birthday party, and since movie had wrapped up shooting there was a combined party.
And Harry did the stupidest thing he could.
His mind was a mess after that day, it felt like everything between them changed. Even their sex somehow felt....softer.
How a hug could change everything?
So, he took Ellie to the party and he regretted it as soon as he said it to her.
The cameras, the paps, everyone asking the same question, who is she, and the answer he gave was lound and clear, "Oh she's my friend."
She didn't seem to have taken it well though.
Harry saw her wandering eye falling on him, looking him up and down with the same hunger as always and then Ellie came in and pulled him into a kiss.
Amd then she was gone.
The person who's birthday party it was gone and no one cared. He was certain that if someone else would have cut her cake they wouldn't have cared.
But she came to cut the cake, drunk so, drunk and probably high also. She was stumbling, giggling it, it was endering to watch and concering also.
She cut the cake with Harry beside her playing the "supportive boyfriend" for media. She didn't feed him the piece, but to her other costar, Shelly. She doesn't even know Shelly! Harry was pissed to say the least, so while the cake got distributed, he decided to talk to her, but again, she vanished in thin air.
Harry for the whole night kept searching for her his eyes wandering to find her which annoyed Ellie a lot but she kept her cool and tried to pull him into a small kiss only for him to push Ellie away.
"What the fuck to you actually want?" Ellie asked him just for Harry to give her a eye roll.
"Not here, go back to your house we will talk there" He said to her before taking off to look for her.
Harry searched the whole house, every nook and corner from first floor to the last one the place left was the last bathroom on the top floor and he really hoped he would find her there.
He did find her sitting in the bathtub. Her heels were on the floor, her dress bunched up with whiskey stain on them, her makeup running down her cheeks all messy, yet she looked like something poet would write poems about.
If Harry wasn't so sure he would've said she just fucked someone but he saw her, he felt her cause he was feeling it too.
"Why are you ignoring me?" He asked. It was so stupid, but he wanted to know, and he also didn't know how to talk to her.
Her red eyes fell on him, and again Harry was amazed how intoxicating she was, how her single glance gave Harry so much relief like thirsty person in dessert just got his thirst quenched.
"You look handsome" She said with a small smile. He was in a sage green satin shirt with a dark blue suit accidentally matching with her green dress, which was for once was not planned.
"Not answer of my question." He said back and walked towards her and got into the tub in front of her.
"I don't need to answer anything to you" she said, taking a swing of champagne bottle he just noticed in her hand.
"You do. Why.are.you.ignoring.me?" He said through gritted teeth pushing his face closer to hers.
She looked up and Harry saw, he saw the same vulnerability he saw few weeks ago, he saw her, "You came with her" She said in a soft voice and Harry's whole body melted into a puddle. How could a person whose heart is made of stone could be melted by other person with the same heart. Maybe she broke him, rocks break rocks, and ignited fire that Harry feels every time he's near her.
"y-yes, she's my girlfriend" He said so unsure he cringed himself which she caught and smiled showing off her left side dimple.
"You love her?" She asked after some time. He didn't know who she was talking about, and he wanted to ask if it was Ellie or her, but how could he love anyone other than himself? Was he even capable of it? Maybe he was, but a scared broken man could have never loved right.
"Doesn't matter" He replied back, and her smile fell into a sad one. She took a deep breath and fell back, resting her back against the cold tiled floor.
"You're right it doesn't matter." She whispered, drinking again and everything went silent. "You know Harry I can have anything I want." She spoke after some time.
"Yeah I know you're filthy rich eveyone knows that" He said scoffing.
"Yet I can't have one thing I want and it's so annoying. Cause I always get what I want I'm Amyra Stockly and I can't" She said through a chuckle and scoff. He didn't know how to comfort her. He didn't know why he wanted to comfort her. He hated her but maybe that was it, he hated her.
"What do you want Raya?" He asked into a soft voice. She looked at him, so deep he thought she could see his soul, his heart beating so fast it could power a city lighting up her name.
"Really like that nickname. First one I ever got to be honest" She said, "If you don't consider slut to be a nickname"
"Why are you dodging all of my questions?" Harry asked feeling annoyed by her nonchalant behavior.
"It's called good media training kinda get used to it when you have been doing it for so long" She said with a smirk and he knew she was just edging him to snap but that wasn't gonna happen that day.
"Forget that tell me what you got me for present? It's my birthday, after all, or did you think you would get away with birthday sex?" She said with a playful tone.
"No I brought you something" Harry said with a smile, he worked for a month straight on her gift, the one she knew she would love but as he searched and felt nothing in his pockets he was reminded that it was in Ellie's purse, "Shit I forgot it at home I promise I will give it to you"
"You better, I will be waiting" She said taking a swing of drink again.
He just hummed and watched her. Everyone knew she was gorgeous, the red hair, brown eyes with slight freckles on her nose she was like some Goddess sent on earth.
The light bouncing from the mirror in front of tub bounced and fell softly on her side. Harry scooted closer to her and tucked her messy strand of hair behind her ear, it was missing earring which made him smile.
He looked at her and pulled her in a kiss, it was soft like sleeping a bed of clouds, he didn't know what shit feeling butterflies was like until that moment. The kiss left both of them breathless, her lips glistening and swollen made him love all over again.
"If it was your last night how would you spend it?" She whispered to him, her eyes not leaving his and he wished he could have seen it but he couldn't.
"I would spend it with someone I love" He whispered back, his fingers brushing her hair making her hum in contentment.
The moment soon was destroyed as his phone rang and he saw Ellie's name pop up on the screen, made him so angry he wanted to throw his phone across the room but he took a deep breath and picked it up.
"I don't want to waste much of you time just want to give you back her gift sonce it's her birthday and all. I'm the parking" She said as soon as he picked up the call.
"I will be there in 5" He replied and started to get up when she gripped his hand.
"Stay" She said.
"What?" He asked in confusion.
"Stay just for tonight. Don't go to her" She whispered so softly he could've missed it but he didn't know how he could when she was all he could see.
"What are you-"
"Stay here with me in this bathroom for one night. Just you and me" She cut him off. The look in her eyes was something he could never forget. Even in darkness, her eyes shined like sunlight peeking through the holes of a dark room, and maybe that's somewhat what Harry saw her as.
She burned for her whole life but shined into everyone elses. So, he walked towards that door and this time he didn't leave his temptress but he locked the door and walked back to her. He gave into her, and she pulled him into her like they were made of the same starlight.
Somewhere during the night of their deep conversation and laughs, Harry fell asleep. The cool and hard tile made his back hurt. He got up, groaning in pain, and with a raging headache. He looked around, trying to find her asleep beside him, but she wasn't there.
He walked towards the door and saw the reflection of himself in the mirror, lipstick stain littering on his cheeks and neck, he smiled as he remembered her kissing all of him but it was so innocent he felt like a teenager in love.
Baby she look like a star, but only on camera
Only on camera, only on camera
Many times, life has taken an unexpected turn for Harry, but this was something that made his head spin.
Amyra Stockly found dead in her bathrub was not the news he ever expected to hear. That was the first time in his life he cried since he was a baby.
He was a mess. He didn't do any press tour or got out of his house until one day, when he found the wrapped up gift.
He never had the courage to go to her grave, he was at her funeral but he ran away from there also, how could he see the eyes that he saw the whole universe in be closed forever?
It was a cruel joke on his life.
First time he fell in love and universe took it away from him.
They took her.
So, he collected all of his courage and walked up to her grave, which, just like her, was beautiful, flowers surrounded her grave from fans and whatever friends and family she had.
He sat down not even caring about getting his clothes dirty it was last of his concerns, he fished his pocket for the thing he came for.
"I know you're still waiting. Even dead you are stubborn showing up in my dreams and sometimes in front of my eyes giving me false hope of you being here with me still" He said with a chuckle.
"I got a tattoo for you" He said, touching the lipstick marks made on his neck, "I know your narcissistic ass is loving it" Harry laughed now seeing blurry due to tears filling his eyes.
He took out the envelope from his pocket and duct taped it to her grave cause hell he was not letting it go anywhere but her, the song he wrote for her and for her only.
He hid it under the flowers so it could stay like that for a while, as he was hiding it he saw a picture of him and her. It was only genuine photo of them where the smiles where real on both of their faces and it made all his patience crumble.
"Wish you were still here" He said through sobs. His broken voice was interrupted with a loud thunder and then rain.
It wasn't even rainy that day but he knew.
It wasn't universe.
It was his universe.
It was her.
*****
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