amatonormativity: a romantic partner should be the most important person in EVERYONE'S life
NOT amatonormativity: MY romantic partner is the most important person in MY life, but i understand this is not the same for other people
allosexnormativity: EVERYONE should have sex and sex is something EVERYONE needs/wants/should want
NOT allosexnormativity: I PERSONALLY enjoy sex and love having sex because it makes ME feel good, but other people dont feel the same and that's okay
platonormativity: having friends is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs/has/should have friends
NOT platonormativity: having friends is important to ME and I PERSONALLY love having friends, but there are people who dont and theres nothing wrong with that
faminormativity (is that the word?): family is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs to have their family
NOT faminormativity: family is important to ME and I PERSONALLY need my family with me, but other people dont feel the same and i understand that
lovenormativity (again, not sure if this is a word): EVERYBODY feels love and there's something wrong wiith you if you dont
NOT lovenormativity: I PERSONALLY feel love and love people, but not everyone does and that's completely okay!
NOT amatonormativity: i dont have friends/have any desire to have friends, i am happy with other relationships/no relationships at all
NOT platonormativity: i dont have any desire to be in a romantic relationships, and i am happy with my platonic relationships
NOT allosexnormativity: i like hooking up with people and having one night stands or friends with benefits
NOT faminormativity: i care about my family deeply and am close with family members
NOT lovenormativity: i feel love for people i care about
it's not normative to personally enjoy something, so long as you respect that other people simply arent like you and aren't going to like the same things as you. taking down normativity is a two way street, allos and aspecs need to do it. support your local aros, aces, apls, afams and other aspecs today! remember to challange all normativities, and to not enforce other normativity by saying how bullshit other normativities are!
nothing is universal. romance is not universal. sex is not universal. friendship is not universal. family is not universal. love is not universal. nothing is universal.
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Honestly shoutout to Steven Universe for the representation of malachite and abusive relationships because it holds up really well and is still like one of the only abuse narratives I’ve seen that portrays how like. Abusive relationships aren’t as simple as “evil abusive person was constantly Mean and Bad to nice victim” like. Lapis is a realistic victim. She refused to leave the relationship because she longed to have connection with someone and she liked feeling as though she could have control for once, even though she really didn’t. She wasn’t nice and innocent, she felt anger and resentment and liked taking it out on Jasper. And despite how horrible it was, she deeply misses Jasper because it was the longest and deepest relationship she’s ever had with anyone and she didn’t know how to function without it
But Lapis is still a victim and we’re meant to care for her and understand where she comes from. She chose to stay with Jasper to keep others safe from her harm, and because she thought she herself deserved the abuse as a way of making up for everything bad she’s done. Jasper reminds Lapis over and over that she is a monster and that’s why they should be together, because Jasper is the only one who understands her. And when Lapis finally rejects their relationship, she mostly states it through what she herself felt and has done, saying that she didn’t like the person she became in that relationship and she never wants to feel like that ever again. It’s messy and complicated, just like how actual abuse is
Anyways yeah talk about a very good abuse narrative thanks steven universe
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The dawn of the final day.
Previous / Next
Julia: [muttering shakily] Come on, Jules. Just hit the button. You have to tell someone. It’s the right thing to do.
Helena: [whoosh] [thump] Julia? Shit, how’d you even-
Julia: Helena, w-what did you just... I don’t understand what’s going on!
Helena: If you’d let me explain-
Julia: No, no, no, this can’t be happening! Vampires aren’t supposed to be real!
Helena: [narrows eyes] Who are you calling?
Julia: No one! I was just thinking about it, I swear! [flinches away] Stop! Don’t come any closer!
Helena: Julia, please, I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you.
Julia: [tearfully] But you could have!
Helena: What?
Julia: It was you who hurt my friends, who hurt all those people! I hang out there with them all the time. If you’d seen me, would you have been able to resist?
Helena: Of course!
Julia: Oh, so you were in control? You knew what you were doing and you did it anyway. Who are you, Helena? What are you? Because I don’t think you’re my sister anymore. You’re a-a-a... a monster!
Helena: Please don’t say that. You have no idea how sorry I am. The way I left them... it just loops like an endless nightmare in my head. I didn’t mean to go that far. I just wanted the hunger to stop, but it never does.
Julia: They might still die. Because of you. [scoffs] Migraines. You’ve been lying all along! Helena: What could I have said? You wouldn’t have believed me.
Julia: How did this even happen? Why are you… like this?
Helena: Oh, Julia, I was so stupid! Ulrike and I had just broken up. I was in a bad place, and I trusted the wrong person. I didn’t want it! I barely remember what happened. I just woke up with this fire burning inside of me.
Julia: Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t call the cops right now.
Helena: Because you love me. Because I’m leaving.
Julia: What? Where will you go?
Helena: I don’t know. But it’s obvious I can’t stay. I’m not fit to be around people now. Maybe I never will be. I’m too dangerous — to myself, to you, to Mom and Dad, to this entire fucking town.
Julia: There must be another way. If you turn yourself in, then maybe-
Helena: What, the police will go easy on me because I’m sorry? I kill the police because they don’t? It wouldn’t end well for anyone, Julia. [sighs wearily] At least I never finished unpacking.
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