#just some thoughts I GUESS

[softpastelqueer]

One thing people need to accept that comes with being online more than a few times a week is a lot of times we will join a bandwagon and be wrong

Sometimes we’ll mistakenly believe the dog piles

Sometimes we’ll join in on prejudice or microaggressive trends and opinions

Sometimes we’ll believe in misinformation

It’s easy to mock others by calling them chronically online, but the hard truth pill we need to swallow is sometimes, just sometimes, we’re ridiculous and in the wrong too

No one is immune to chronically online bad takes and we need to take ownership of that

[tired--bird]

when I stretch my wings and the wind plays with my feathers

when the sun sets and my soaring form casts shadows on the ground

when most dearest wishes become reality and i'm finally free

[qurolo]

Ok HEAR ME OUT

Someone set these two families to just hang out with each other PLEASE

Like, Kazuki hanging w/ Loid

Similar vibes w confidence

Murder murder but <3 anyway

Both would totally have the thought process of “there’s something up with him but I can’t quite put my finger on it” both with a really good front and smile whilst doing some death note 4D mind chess into each other’s psyche(albeit Kazuki probably isn’t as serious as Loid but we love him for that)

COOKING FOR DAUGHTER!!

Rei with Yor

Honestly, Yor’s so sweet and patient and Rei is quiet so oui oui

They’d both probably know that they’re both assassins SOMEHOW- Idk how given Yor’s obliviousness to Loid (then again not like he’s not concealing it rlly rlly well) but since you know, similar fields

God awful at cooking for their respective daughters but try pretty damn hard, would be nice to have cooking lessons together

Yes.

And Anya with Miri of course

CHILDREN BEING CHILDREN AND IDK CUTE

Anya would totally read Miri’s dads’ minds and go “WOAH OK BUDDY MORE FUNKY ASSASSIN BUDDIES” Miri’s just like me :DD

Miri would totally just drag Anya w her everywhere no matter what

Doggy-horse adventures of two

BOOM

I rest my case

THEYRE SO FUN!

And yes, I did try to draw them earlier but honestly I give up

It’s this forever WIP from a while back if anyone was curious

Ok thanks for reading bye

[stuck-on-boops-alt]

so uh litg volume 13 happened..

I still like Hamish, but the spark is gone I'm afraid... I will just blame it on the writing lol

spoilers below and mostly rants, so if you're up for that, read on!

My thoughts on the talent show.. of course it was boring. I just sped through it most of the time. Hamish looked cute with the dog ears, but hhh the dog training part was so weird wtf. I was so shocked like.. 😧😧😧 I mean I think the writers thought it was funny, I guess? I had secondhand embarrassment for Lyn and Hamish, watching it unfold. 😂

The romantic gesture was uh.. it was cute? But.. paper airplanes again?? Really??? And the stuff that LI likes about MC are uh.. I swear they're so banal. I think it was just the merging personality thing because if it was specific for the LI, Hamish's writings on the papers would be something about their whacky shenanigans like the popcorn thing, their random banters and MC being someone that he feels safe to open up to-- not these generic-ass compliments. But yeah, I guess they were lazy to write something that isn't applicable for ALL the LIs 🤷🏻‍♀️

Eddie is still Eddie. I ignored his stinky cheese hair in all the episodes.

Now, I have to talk about the worst part of it all. I don't wanna be fucking reminded of the Sienna thing. It's sooooooo lame. The devs probably thought "oh we're going to make it seem like the s8 thing again where the LI comes in with Sienna BUT the twist is it's actually BELLA who is just the host! No one would expect that! We're going to sUbVeRt their expectations!” All I felt during that part is please get this over with. I don't need this. Get me outta here. End my misery 😭😭😭

Though.. I kinda wish they revealed more about our LI's birth chart. I was actually very curious and that was the only thing that piqued my interest.

Welp.. at least my mc Lyn and Hamish are finally and officially together. That cliffhanger tho ahaha.. just let Lyn say yes already gdi.

It's Season Finale next week. After that, goodbye forever LITG. I still might think about you from time to time. I still might draw something when I get nostalgic, but I will stay away from the game for good.

edit: I forgot to mention that I also hate how they brought Angie into it. What do you mean she and Sienna are besties? SHE WAS MY S4 MC'S BESTIE!! AND SIENNA AS MAID OF HONOUR OVER HER OWN SISTERS??? WHAT DO YOU MEANNN??? Sienna wtf stop stealing everyone. Your birth chart must be so whack 😭

[jongbross]

okay but like, imagine falling in love with baekhyun. you two meet through kyungsoo, and things just work out so well because he’s all shy around you but, once he realizes you feel attracted to him, he starts flirting with you. kyungsoo plays matchmaker and makes you two go out on a date at least once, because it’s so easy to see how you two fit each other. you’re there to support him as he puts his company up on its feet, and he starts to lean on you as you inspire him and give him the strength he needs.

all for that to fall apart once you meet jongin, the true love of your life. it’s love at first sight, not attraction like you felt with baekhyun. he’s your one and only, you can see that right away. the moment you look into his eyes for the first time, at chanyeol’s birthday, you see your whole future with him - and it seems like everyone else did too, cause you could quite literally hear baekhyun’s heart breaking when he saw the way you two looked at each other, with such love and tenderness.

[dimsilver]

the good days will come. the days when you want to skip down the sidewalk for no good reason. the days when you lay there smiling in the dark, too happy to go to sleep. the days when you are at home in your body and mind, when you see beauty and feel peace. the days you spot all the perfect things: the flower in the asphalt crack and the birds nesting in the eaves and the baby’s smile on the subway. the days when you know everything has meaning and purpose.

the bad days will come. the days when you can hardly walk, when it feels like lead weights sit in your chest. when you don’t want to wake up, but you can’t go to sleep. when your mind winds tighter and tighter in dizzy circles and nothing gives you rest and your body feels like a prison, a cracked vase, a deflated balloon. when you see evil and injustice and guilt and grief inside and outside and everywhere and no one will meet your eyes. the days when all you know is the wound and meaning hides from you.

but the good days will come again. and probably more bad ones, too. and more good ones still.

but each time you will remain. a person. forever shaped by all those days, but able to learn and grow, breathe and heal, discover meaning and purpose. and the more days pass over you, the more you will learn how to live them.

and maybe you will find that the joyous meaning of life so near to you in the good days is near to you also in the bad ones. and maybe you will even learn His name.

[lunas-a-little-looney]

cw vent, transfem dysphoria, transmisogyny

It's funny to think about how I felt about transitioning before I did it and after. When I decided to transition I thought it was going to be a positive thing. I thought it was my chance to finally escape from this box that I had been forced into, from my deep dissatisfaction with my life. I thought that I could have a chance at being happy with myself.

I was so wrong. I am trans, I am a woman, but I am not any happier with myself than I was when I started. I was already on the brink of crisis when I initiated my transition and in the subsequent years I put myself through so much more trauma just for the chance at feeling like myself. It didn't work. It just hurt me. I will be unpacking the damage that those years did to my mind for years.

I thought transitioning would free me from the expectations of my gender. Now I feel more pressure than ever to conform. When I was presenting male I didn't worry about whether I was doing it "right" because I hated it and it didn't matter. Now I have to meticulously analyze every aspect of myself and shape it to fit the feminine ideal. If I don't, then my womanhood is stolen, my identity is stolen, people perceive me as a pervert or a disgusting faggot.

Idk why I thought that transitioning would make my life better, but it didn't. Yet I still don't regret it. I would do it all again if I got the chance to go back in time. I don't understand how I feel about it. I just wanted to vent.

[breadeads]

Do you read smut because you're horny or do you read smut because you want someone to be wholeheartedly attracted to your body even with your physical flaws out in the open for them to see?

[snezhnayan-nights]

Something something, I find it weird when I stumble upon a server where even if the server acknowledges that endogenic plurality is like its own thing from DID/OSDD, they just say endos aren't real because "it isn't scientifically possible".

If we're following the current understanding of pathologized dissociation and the TSDP/ToSD, then that's not a really fair goalpost. Maybe compartmentalization of parts can happen from something other than trauma, but that's just a what-if.

I like to believe most* endos are like, let's say, a "singlet" which was then added by another "singlet" into one body. Which, y'know, is entirely different from compartmentalization of a whole.

[noonstate]

ive spoken about transandrophobia before on here and while i don’t disagree more or less with what ive said i think perhaps there is an issue with the word itself. transmisogyny, much like misogynoir, is less about one + one and more about a blended kind of discrimination that happens alongside others. transandrophobia isn’t exactly that, imo, and i think there’s a decent semantic problem at the heart of a lot of denial / conflict about it. i’ve constructed a kind of numbered list of thoughts:

one. “there is no systemic androphobia / misandry, so there can’t be a unique intersection of transphobia and misandry that constitutes something like a transmisogyny”.

i have mixed feelings about this. there are many ways that men are discriminated against in society. to me, understanding the white supremacist capitalist patriarchy as a pyramid scheme of sorts helps; inherently, those benefitting the most will be the smallest group, and it’s best to keep everyone one tier below you infighting to make them easier to control.

looking at the works of bell hooks and emi koyama, i think that men can act and behave in patriarchal ways, in ways that benefit systemic oppression and violence against women, but i think that thinking of them each individually as agents of the patriarchy gives them, frankly, too much power in a system. your average sexist dude catcalling you on the street is acting out a learned, shitty, behavior, but he’s not an ‘agent’ of anything; he’s another pawn in the same fucked system. think of the poor racist who decries immigrants ‘taking our jobs’; he’s likely to have more in common with the immigrants he’s mad at than the politicians who’ve told him to be mad at the immigrants.

male privilege is another thing; i don’t know that thinking of people as having or holding male privilege is helpful. i think privilege is more of a lack of a thing than a thing itself. do trans men who pass significantly well gain some status? yes. do trans women who are boymoders / not out already have some status? yes. but i don’t think that’s something they are doing so much as it is something that others are assuming about them.

and, as i said above: it’s a pyramid scheme. in a white supremacist society, men of colour are not advantaged over white men, and often not even over white women. we’ve seen this historically, with lynchings, and recently, with ‘karen’s calling the police over seeing a black man in their neighbourhood. white women can and do pose a significant threat to black men through their use of state violence, and their existence as a resource the state wants to protect (sometimes, at least).

so is it all predestined? no, obviously not. you can and should fight against the culture if it is harmful. and for men, the thing is, they are not told or easily shown that the system is harming them as much or more than it benefits them. there are less obvious threads to pull at to start the unravelling of an internalised worldview for people closer to the top of that pyramid. but it’s work many of them don’t do, to their own detriment as much as to the detriment of everyone else around them, especially women and gender minorities.

two. “what you’re experiencing is just transphobia”

i think we can acknowledge that transphobia towards (for simplification’s sake) trans men and trans women. cultural transphobia, as it exists right now, is fairly gendered. when we talk about trans women, we talk about adults, we talk about predation, we talk about perversion. when we talk about trans men, we actually talk about trans boys, we talk about girls, we talk about a ‘trans cult’ or ‘trans ideology’, we talk about hysterectomies at twelve, top surgery at six, hormone blockers at three.

the goal of current cultural transphobia is protecting trans men from trans women, essentially. in their genocide handbook of “enemy must be weak and also strong” they’ve decided trans men are weak, and trans women are strong. note that this itself falls in with the sexist tropes the transphobia crowd often say they’re against.

transphobia, historically, has been about trans women, in the same way that homophobia, historically, was about gay men. not in terms of everything, but in terms of the big cultural boogeymen. sure there were and have been scare campaigns about lesbians and trans men, but generally, the desires of “girls” (counting trans men here for now, sorry guys) were seen as frivolous, unreal. i mean as of what, 2019? we had noted freak ray blanchard theorising about if women even have a sexuality. what society saw as dangerous, though, were men and trans women (who they also saw as men, when it suited them to).

so really, trans men had some catching up to do, in terms of public fear-mongering. and we did! abigail shrier and j.k. rowling both targeted trans men far more squarely than they targeted trans women.

irreversible damage contains a few anecdotes about trans women (iirc, one about a bra store assistant being trans and how ‘dangerous’ it would have been to let her fit a bra on a child, and another about a stealth trans woman who was mad that more visibility was making people start to clock her in the street).

terf wars mentions the ‘lesbians are being called transphobic for not dating trans women with penises’ talking point, and the fear of ‘men entering women’s dressing rooms’. but the part that jk focuses on for a good chunk, the part she claims is ‘intensely personal’, is the idea that if she had come about, she might have been transed! to be fair and balanced, jk rowling also spends some time on her fears about sexual assault from trans women, though not phrased exactly like that. so perhaps she’s more broadly transphobic.

but the latest rounds of libs of tiktok / fox news / matt walsh / etc etc etc fueled transphobia have been aggressively targeting trans men, even if they won’t say that. it’s always ‘children’, or ‘girls’. at the same time that people are reacting with anger and violence towards trans women (and drag queens, though tbf cis transphobes either don’t know the difference or don’t care), people are calling in bomb threats to children’s hospitals and passing anti-trans healthcare bills with the explicit target of stopping young trans boys from accessing trans affirming healthcare. they mention castration briefly, occasionally, but the real target is stopping “girls” from mutilating their bodies.

my point in all of this is: there should be a way to talk about this, about this specific thing, without getting shouted down because of the ‘bad word’ you’re using. bills targeting drag or crossdressing in public are about trans women. bills targeting healthcare are about trans men.

the tl;dr here is that transphobia against trans men and trans women are different. they manifest differently, they are acted out differently, they exist for different reasons. they have different outcomes. but transphobia is a general term, and it would be nice, sometimes, to be able to talk about transphobia against trans men specifically. because there are things that happen or are targeted at them that don’t happen / aren’t targeted at trans women. is that word transandrophobia? idk.

three: “the guy who coined transandrophobia was A Bad One”

this i’ll cover extremely briefly. we’ve had a wave of posts recently saying ‘wow you bullied a random trans woman off the internet for having kinks you don’t like, did you do it? did you save us all?’. these are good posts. however, i think the ‘you can’t use transandrophobia because the guy who coined it has a kink i don’t like’ is uh. perhaps the worst argument among all possible arguments, for the same reason.

i’m old enough to be of the ‘don’t like don’t read’ generation, so uh. that’s what i do. if i follow someone who has a kink i don’t like, i just block those posts / tags. simple. or maybe i even unfollow. but doing a callout because ‘this person has problematic kinks’ is, i think, a bit cringe.

four: “but if we don’t call it x, what do we call it?”

i don’t know. i don’t have a good answer here. generally, i’m someone against using ‘assigned at birth’ or ‘tme’ language because typically i feel those things just serve as another way to misgender people. not that it’s always this way, but i’ve been on tumblr long enough to see people typically just use AFAB and TME to mean FEMALE, in bold bright pink sparkly font.

in some ways, maybe it’s the same issue with “women and femmes / women and nonbinary people” type language. for those things i think being able to self-select into those spaces and conversations is the best, so “people who menstruate” or “people who experience misogyny”, and you get to decide if that counts. but. idk, it’s not very snappy.

“transphobia against trans men” also doesn’t apply evenly, though maybe it never will. there are trans people who are stealth, who are out, who are closeted, girl/boymoders, and on and on. trans people who are ‘fully’ medically transitioned to a binary gender can and do have very different experiences, internally and in the world, to trans people who are nonbinary or don’t / can’t medically transition, or go stealth.

so. idk. i think we can and should have these conversations and others, under the umbrellas that transphobia and cissexism represent. but i also think that generally people talking about transandrophobia or exorsexism are doing so from a genuine place of “i have an issue and i want to talk about it”, and unfortunately i have seen far more people turn off their empathy after seeing A Word about it, in a way they maybe wouldn’t have if the conversation was phrased differently.

transphobia hurts us all. bills targeting healthcare hurt trans women and girls, just as much as they hurt trans men and boys. hell, the bathroom panic around trans women regularly targets cis women. working together is in all of our best interests, esp now.

[holyarcadeglitter]

While I fucking abhor tik tok, I do think it's good to a very, very specific degree. Like most parts of the internet, it exposes more sheltered individuals to things they forget exist- like PoC, queers, disabled people, fat people, mentally ill people, all those people outside of what they think is "normal". And while yes, some people are assholes and they will absolutely go out of their way to bully what they deem "too different", it's still a good way to expose them to actual human beings who exist in the real world and not just some y/a Netflix protagonists. PoC exist outside of Encanto or whatever group Disney finally decides to actually pay attention to. Queers exist outside of Queer Eye or whatever #pridemonth marketing bullshit companies try to promote. Fat people exist outside of the Heathers or whatever pseudo body-positivity bullshit people try to push (while still ensuring they're not too fat to be appreciated by hollywood and get money). Mentally ill people exist outside of 13 Reasons (ick series), and outside of whatever villain their mental illness is being fobbed onto. Disabled people fucking exist. And while tik Tok fucking sucks, it pushes these people into the existence of the real world without the glitz and glamour of Hollywood intervention and palatability. It shows that we are here, we are loud, and we will not be watered down to stereotypes or non existence.

[jellalism]

i'm thinking, maybe some mlm minors' opposition to "problematic ships" and general fujoshi culture has to do with never having had positive mlm representation, and then they get on the internet and everybody is a freak about mlm. and while being a freak is fine, it's understandable that minors want wholesome stuff. to finally see themselves represented in a positive way. to see the joy and the healthy relationships that they've always been told only exist in heterosexuality.

[officialspec]

can i say something. for years i thought the joke of the song short skirt/long jacket by cake was that he wanted a woman who was hung like a horse. like i thought when he says jacket it was a last-second fakeout because he very obviously meant to say cock. and the rest of the things in the song were just her personality and interests. which were secondary to her awesome penis

[qurolo]

Tobi projecting the love and understanding he needs onto a dog was all I needed today, thank you.

[stuck-on-boops-alt]

I think S9 might be my last time playing LITG.

I only fully came back to it recently since I had difficulty with being invested with seasons 4 to 8. I tried playing through them, but I never got attached to any of the LIs. Even if I am enjoying the current season despite its flaws, I don't think I could keep supporting Fusebox.

It just doesn't hit as it used to, so I think it is my time to let go of the game for good.

It's been a good and somewhat bittersweet run 💜

[asteriuszenith]

Thinking of those posts about Mary and Jesus again. I wonder if Mary resented Jesus a bit for as much as she also loves him. I think about how Joseph taught him carpentry, teaching him how to make and bring things together with his own two, human hands. I think about how Jesus lived 30 years before the entire thing happened. 30 years. He lived at least a quarter of a human's life which might seem like a speck when it comes to being immortal. 30 years where he must have witnessed people being people. 30 years where he broke bread together with other humans.

I don't know. Sometimes it just makes me think, ya know?

I wonder if he had to deal with family drama like stupid cousins or gossiping aunts and uncles who keep nudging him to get married or something. I wonder if when Mary and Joseph heard that they looked at Jesus with that sort of like... Grieving look. Because he would never have the chance to do such a thing. To spend his entire life with someone he could have fallen in love with. To outlive them.

I wonder if he had normal friends. I don't mean the disciples. Like. You know, friends in his small town that he'd spend some afternoon just vibing with while on a break from work. Maybe even walk home with to invite them into having dinner with him and his family. I wonder if he looked at them and was filled with some envy. He knows that what awaits him was a thorny path. I wonder if he'd have rather live in ignorance that he was the Son of God than grow up with the knowledge of what was about to happen.

I wonder if there were friends that he willingly distanced himself from, so that they wouldn't get caught up in what was going to happen. I wonder if he had a crush on someone when he was younger.

I think about those 30 years and I wonder if he still thought about it even after he ascended. I wonder if he wished that he could have just been a normal human. A normal, flawed human being.