#just something that felt so unreal and confusing for long enough that i didn't feel as dead

[coffeeshades]

credits to the gif maker!

LOVE IS COMPLICATED - PART VIII

summary: the trials and tribulations of falling in love or two idiots who can't get their shit together.

pairing: pedro pascal x actress/singer!reader.

word count: 6.3k

warnings: 18+ (minors dni). angst!!! cursing, age gap, mentions of alcohol and depression. feelings of hopelessness, anxiety. no use of y/n, if i missed something please let me know!

a/n: hello besties, here's the next part!! happy reading <3

masterlist!

Pedro hadn’t expected his career to take another sharp turn so soon after The Mandalorian. The call he received that night in January, while lying in a dimly lit hotel room in London, still felt unreal. Hazy, thanks to the Ambien coursing through him, but real enough to make him sit up in bed after the line went dead.

Something big was coming, and he could feel it in his bones. It would change everything—if things weren’t already good enough as they were.

A few weeks later, he was back in London to film The Bubble. Everything seemed to blur by—filming, meetings, and the quiet rhythm of his life with Julia. He hadn't expected to fall into a relationship so effortlessly, but here he was.

She was a producer he’d met during a project in Budapest, though nothing had happened between them until months later.

Late November, to be exact. By then, things had shifted.

Pedro was never good at deciphering if someone liked him or not, and maybe that was why, when she suggested coffee, he didn’t think twice. She was lovely—kind in a way that didn't feel overwhelming, and he liked the way it felt safe, uncomplicated. When she reached for his hand, the world didn’t spin beneath his feet, and that was comforting. It was normal, and maybe that’s exactly what he needed.

After that first coffee, there were more—turning into casual dinners, casual sex, easy conversations, and eventually, a steady progression toward something more.

By December, things had gotten serious, though Pedro still sometimes woke up disoriented, feeling as if he was living in someone else’s life. Julia kept him grounded. And though it wasn’t the kind of love that made him lose his breath, it was steady.

One morning, in early December, he woke to find a message from you. You’d mentioned him in an upcoming Vogue interview, a brief nod to his help in keeping you sane during those first chaotic months of the pandemic. Your publicist thought it might make a fuss for a while, and you didn’t want him to wake up and think someone had died or something.

Nothing too big, P, just the usual storm. Call when you’re back in the States. Miss you.

Pedro stared at the message for a long time, debating. You’d always known everything about him. Every high, every low. But now? There was Julia to consider. He sat on the edge of the bed, Julia still asleep next to him, the London sky a dull gray through the curtains. He’d thought about telling you about her for weeks—maybe he should’ve before New Year’s—but it was easier to let the conversation slip away.

Until it didn’t.

That night, at Oscar’s New Year’s party, when you found out about Julia, he could see it in your eyes—the hurt, the shock, the confusion. You didn’t say much after that. Just told him you hoped he was happy, and if he was, that would be enough.

But it didn’t feel enough.

Not then, not now.

•••

Back in London, the routine of it all began to suffocate him. He spent his mornings reading lines, drinking bitter coffee, and answering the inevitable buzz of questions about his relationship status. He didn’t care to comment. He didn’t want to make it official in a way that felt like another announcement to the world. His job was to act, not live his life on a stage. Still, the headlines rolled out, and his relationship with Julia became another topic of conversation.

The days passed in a blur, but something bothered him. You had gone silent. Completely. Not only from his life but from social media, from the public eye, from everywhere. He called on your birthday. Oscar had mentioned you hadn't planned anything for the day, not that he knew off, and Pedro found himself standing on the cold balcony of his hotel room, dialing your number with a strange urgency.

You picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?”

Your voice sounded far away, thin and almost unfamiliar, like a melody he had forgotten.

“Hey.”

There was a beat of silence, a pause where recognition should have clicked into place. Instead, you sounded distant, hesitant.

“Oh. It’s you.”

His lips twitched into a smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, it’s me. Did you delete my number?”

A soft shuffle on the other end, like you were shifting in place, caught off guard. “No, uh, I just picked it up without looking who it was.”

He leaned against the railing, gripping the phone tighter as if it could bridge the distance between you. The cold metal beneath his fingers bit into his skin, grounding him, though your absence felt like it was growing by the second. "Happy birthday, mi amor."

“Thank you, Pedro.”

The way you said his name, the clipped tone, made something stir in his gut, but he shook it off.

“You doing anything? I heard you didn’t have plans.”

“Nothing really, maybe over the weekend,” you replied, but there was a softness in your voice that didn't match the words, like you were choosing them carefully, holding something back. “I know you’re in London; that’s why I didn’t—”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t call,” he interrupted, leaning against the cold railing. His free hand found his hair, fingers tugging at the strands, trying to steady the unease creeping in. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been... You know how it is.”

Another long pause. For a moment, all he heard was the faint rustling on the other end, like you were curled up somewhere small, the space between you both stretching impossibly wide. He didn’t notice the silence for what it was—didn’t notice the way it wrapped around your words, cloaking the pain underneath.

“I do,” you whispered. It wasn’t an agreement; it was resignation. "Listen, I have to go. Say hi to Julia for me."

You hung up quickly, the words leaving him cold. The last part stung in a way he wasn’t expecting.

Days turned into weeks, and though you stayed in touch here and there, your conversations felt different. Lighter. Less personal. He tried not to let it bother him, but it did. The less he tried to think about you, the more you occupied his thoughts, living in the corners of his mind where you had always been. It felt like torture, the way your presence always lingered even in your absence.

When Pedro finally posted about landing the role of Joel Miller, the flood of congratulations came pouring in, but only one comment left him reeling.

So happy for you!!! You’re gonna kill it.

It was from you. Simple, encouraging, and yet it twisted something inside him.

His birthday arrived not long after, and he found himself back in LA, where his friends greeted him with a backyard party under the stars. Sarah held a cake with a single candle, and as everyone cheered, Pedro smiled, but there was an immovable weight in his chest.

Later that night, after the crowd had dispersed, he and Julia escaped upstairs to his room. They ended up half-dressed, tangled on his unmade bed. She smiled at him afterward, her gaze hazy with affection. “Happy birthday,” she murmured, running a hand down his chest.

Pedro wanted to stay in that moment, to let it be enough, but his mind wandered. He had that feeling of wanting to be trapped in one place, wanting to dig his heels in. It didn’t need to matter that that reality was waiting for him outside the door. It didn’t need to matter that you hadn’t called.

April 11, 2021

London, England

Pedro’s mood had been darkening for weeks now, but if Julia had noticed, she didn’t say a word.

She’d taken on a slew of new projects, coming home late most nights, leaving him to his thoughts and the silence that clung to their flat like fog. Pedro found himself pacing the empty rooms when she was gone, unsure where to place himself in her absence. He felt the weight of insomnia closing in again, the recognizable ache behind his eyes making the hours stretch painfully long.

That day, however, his focus had shifted. He was set to present Best Foreign Film at the BAFTAs, and his stylist had dressed him in a Prada tuxedo coat, a crisp white shirt, and skinny-fitting suit trousers. He looked sharp, elegant even, and for the first time in days, Pedro felt something close to confidence.

He and Julia arrived at the event together, but they didn’t pose for pictures side by side. Still, photographers captured fleeting moments—Julia holding his hand as they stepped out of the car, a quiet laugh between them under the canopy of flashing cameras. By the next morning, their images were all over social media, sparking the inevitable buzz about their relationship.

Pedro ignored most of it.

Two days later, while sharing a quiet breakfast in a cafe with Julia, he opened Instagram out of habit, and your face appeared.

There you were, standing in the middle of some forest, your expression serene. The caption read: Surprise. A new album drops at midnight. In isolation, my imagination ran wild, and this is the result—stories and songs that flowed like rivers. I hope you love it.

The post had already gathered thousands of likes and comments, and Pedro’s chest tightened as he stared at the screen. The timing of it all was almost cruel, but it was the impact of your sudden reappearance that left him reeling. You had vanished from the public eye for so long, and now, with no warning, you were back.

That night, Pedro lay awake next to Julia, the persistent itch of insomnia dragging him out of bed. He moved quietly so as not to disturb her, slipping his earbuds in as he stepped onto the hotel balcony. His hands trembled slightly as he pulled up your new album. He hesitated for a moment, but he pressed play anyway.

For ten songs, Pedro was transfixed. Your voice wrapped around him, haunting and familiar, weaving tales of heartache and isolation. There was a rawness to your words, an unflinching honesty that pierced through the midnight air. He listened intently, picking apart the lyrics, wondering if they were about him, if the pain you sang about was shared between you. It felt like an open wound, and yet he couldn’t stop listening.

Each song was a confession. Each melody a letter never sent.

When it ended, Pedro sat in the dark, overwhelmed. The emptiness gnawed at him, and all he wanted was to call you, to talk, to hear your voice. But he didn’t.

A couple of weeks later, he found himself shamelessly googling you again, hoping for something—an interview, a post, anything—but there was nothing. You had gone silent after the album drop.

No promo, no press. Just the music and then nothing. He congratulated you once, a brief message saying how beautiful the album was. You replied with a simple, “Thank you. It means a lot.”

That was it.

July 10, 2021

Alberta, Canada

Pedro arrived in Alberta at dawn, the skies painted in soft hues of pink and orange. The cab ride to the hotel was quiet, his agent and hairstylist riding with him as they prepared for the long months ahead. Filming for The Last of Us was finally starting, and though Pedro was eager to begin, a deep nervousness tugged at him.

Julia hadn’t come with him this time, staying back in London for her own work. She promised to visit, but Pedro wasn’t sure how often. In her absence, he felt that familiar loneliness creeping in, the kind that terrified him, mostly because it left him alone with thoughts of you.

He checked into his room and sat heavily on the sofa, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes until his vision blurred. He needed to eat, to call his family, to ground himself in something, but instead, he grabbed a beer from the mini fridge and settled back into the couch. His fingers hovered over his phone again, the compulsion to check your Instagram pulling at him like a bad habit.

But, like always, there was nothing.

Your only other post had been a month ago, thanking your fans for the love on the album. He had messaged you a couple of times—small, inconsequential exchanges that left him unsatisfied. He didn’t know what he was searching for in those brief interactions, but whatever it was, it felt futile.

Then, ten minutes later, like a sign from the universe, you shared an interview. A video with you talking about your creative process. Pedro couldn’t stop himself. He grabbed his laptop, another beer, and settled in.

As he watched, he couldn’t help but stare at you. You looked radiant, sitting across from the interviewer in the backyard of your California home. The conversation was easy at first, touching on the album’s success, but then it turned more personal.

"The pandemic was really rough, and also life in general, I guess," you said, your voice quiet. "I found myself post-breakup, isolated in a cabin in Calgary, and writing was all I had. But the inspiration wasn’t just from that breakup. It came from years of… things."

The interviewer asked gently, "You mean the breakup with your most recent ex specifically?"

"Yeah," you replied, your eyes dropping for a second. "It wasn’t entirely about that. I pulled a lot from my imagination, I guess. The lines between fantasy and reality blurred, and I found myself writing from perspectives that weren’t always mine."

Pedro’s heart clenched.

"There’s a song on the album," he continued, "the final track. It’s haunting. You sing about being hurt by someone you love but being unable to let them go. Can you talk about that?"

You paused, taking a breath before you spoke. "It’s a quiet resignation," you said. "That person and I, we hurt each other, but I love them. So, I guess that’s it. It felt like the right way to end the album."

Pedro’s world stilled. He realized, in that moment, what he had been searching for all this time. He had wanted confirmation, a sign that you still loved him. And with every word you spoke, you gave it to him.

Filming for The Last of Us began a couple of days later, and though Pedro threw himself into the work, your voice lingered, ghost-like, at the back of his mind. Days turned to weeks, and as production moved into September, the physical toll started to wear on him. He spent long hours on set; the Canadian cold started biting into his bones. Bella, his co-star, became a bright spot, their energy infectious, and though they bonded quickly, Pedro felt the weight of exhaustion pressing down on him.

In the early mornings, when the world was still asleep, he would take walks to clear his head, the cold sunlight grounding him. Julia came to visit now and then, joining him on these walks, but they often ran out of things to say. He could feel the quiet disintegration of their relationship, like watching ice slowly melt into water. He didn’t know what they were holding onto anymore.

•••

When October rolled around, Pedro’s schedule clashed with the start of The Mandalorian’s third season, and it became clear that he wouldn’t be able to join the production on time. His agents scrambled to find a solution, but when Pedro’s stunt double was suggested as a replacement for the early scenes, he was left with an odd sense of detachment. And when his agent told him it had been your suggestion, something in him cracked.

The anger simmered for weeks. He felt foolish and abandoned, wondering if you had pushed him away to keep your distance. But then, just as the resentment began to harden, you showed up on set with two coffees in hand, flashing him a smile. "One iced caramel macchiato for me and one large quad over ice for you," you teased.

Pedro blinked, startled. He hadn’t expected your warmth. "Thanks," he managed, taking the coffee.

"You’re welcome," you replied brightly. "We missed you here."

"Did you?" he said, a hint of sarcasm slipping into his tone. "Because I heard it was your idea to keep me away."

Your expression twisted into confusion before you laughed. "I was just trying to make things easier. You were still filming, and I figured rushing back here would be a nightmare for you. I wasn’t plotting anything."

Pedro felt a wave of relief wash over him, mixed with the faintest trace of regret. "Well, in that case, I missed you too."

•••

For two seasons, your character hadn't seen his without the helmet. Today you were shooting the scene where, out of necessity, he reveals his face to you. It was written as a pivotal moment in your characters' relationship.

The moment the director called action, the air on set felt different. It wasn’t the usual hum of crew members shuffling in the background or the low murmur of cameras whirring. Instead, a heavy, almost sacred quiet descended, blanketing everyone as the scene unfolded. Pedro’s mind mirrored that stillness, a sudden and unnerving hush. It felt like everything outside of this moment ceased to exist, like time itself had bent inward.

And then—nothing. No words. No script. Just you, standing so close to him, your face inches from his, hands cradling his jaw.

You widened your eyes, a silent prompt, urging him to speak, to remember his lines. But all he could do was stare. He hadn’t been this close to you in months, hadn’t felt the warmth of your touch or the soft presence of your breath in what felt like a lifetime. His throat tightened, his words trapped somewhere deep inside. He knew the scene needed to move forward, but for one fragile moment, all he wanted was to keep you there, locked in this pocket of stillness, as if holding onto you would stop everything else from slipping away.

You read him, like you always did. You settled in, your hands still on his face, fingers pressing gently into his skin as if anchoring him. Then, softly, you filled the silence with a line—one that Pedro was sure wasn’t in the script, but it was perfect. You carried the scene, leading him back into it, your voice becoming the tether that pulled him out of the stillness and into motion. Pedro blinked, refocusing, forcing his body and mind to follow your lead as he finally delivered his line.

The scene moved on, but something lingered, thick and unsaid.

When filming wrapped for the day, the tension still simmered. You caught him at the edge of the lot, your expression unreadable as you approached him. Maybe you'll ask him why he froze like an idiot during that scene, or maybe you'll just walk past him without a word.

Instead, you simply asked, "Dinner?"

Pedro couldn’t say no. He never could when it came to you.

You ended up at a small sushi restaurant tucked away from the chaos of the city. The space was warm, softly lit, a sanctuary from the noise of the outside world. Pedro sat across from you, picking at a piece of sashimi, trying to focus on the conversation but finding it hard. You talked about the year you’d spent away from the spotlight and how you’d pulled back from everything.

"I mean, I’m doing this because I signed a contract," you said, lightly joking, but your eyes flickered with something that gave you away. "Disney has snipers; you know how it is."

You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes.

Pedro chuckled, though he could hear the sadness in your voice, the weight behind your words.

"If I could’ve gotten out of it too, I would have," you added, your tone quieter, more reflective. "I guess I just needed to slow down. I’m tired of it all."

"You even skipped the Oscars," Pedro replied, taking a sip of his drink. "That's how you know it's serious."

"Yeah, I love the Oscars. Excellent champagne."

Pedro watched you closely, wanting to dig into your words to pull apart the layers of exhaustion and sadness you were burying beneath the surface. He wanted to offer you some kind of comfort, to tell you that he understood—that he, too, had been feeling the weight of it all. But the words caught in his throat. Instead, the two of you ate in silence, the kind of quiet that wasn’t uncomfortable but spoke volumes.

There was something about being with you, even without words, that felt…right.

Later, as he lay in bed, his mind kept returning to you, to your confession. He wondered what you weren’t telling him, what you were holding back. But as much as he wanted to reach out to ask, he couldn't.

The next morning, Pedro was on a flight back to Canada. The weeks that followed blurred into a rhythm of cold, grueling days on set and long, sleepless nights. He threw himself into The Last of Us, trying to lose himself in the work, but no matter how hard he tried, thoughts of you crept back in. You were there, always, lingering in the corners of his mind, and Julia could sense it.

She didn’t say anything at first, but Pedro could feel it—the slow unraveling of their relationship. It wasn’t sudden, like a crash or an explosion; it was quiet, a gradual dissolution. Every day, a little more slipped away. He wasn’t sure what he had expected from this relationship, from this life they had built together. Did he think they would buy a house, start a family? Had he ever really seen himself in this life with her, or was it just easier to disappear into hers?

Finally, Julia said it. Brightly, almost too casually. "I think maybe we’re done."

Pedro didn’t fight it. He didn’t have the energy. "Yeah," he murmured. "I think that was my fault."

•••

Christmas and New Year’s came and went in a blur. Pedro went to Chile for a few weeks, seeking the comfort of home, of family. There, surrounded by his siblings and nephews, he found a brief pause, a sense of peace he hadn’t felt in a while. But even in the warmth of his childhood home, memories of you still haunted him. He saw you in every corner, heard your laughter in the echo of the hallways.

One night, after too many glasses of wine, he called you on a whim. It wasn’t about anything important—just small talk, catching up. You sounded good, better than the last time you spoke, but there was a distance in your voice, a kind of finality that made Pedro’s heart sink. For some reason, he didn’t tell you about his breakup. He kept that part of his life hidden, not out of secrecy but because it felt irrelevant at that moment.

What would it change? What did it matter?

You didn’t talk much after that. Your silence felt deliberate, not like a missed connection but a closed door. It was as if you were telling him, without saying it outright, that this was where it ended.

In the days that followed, Pedro did his best to push you out of his mind, but it didn’t take long for the thoughts to creep back in. They always did. Anger. Sadness. Regret. They whispered in his ear, insidious and unrelenting, reminding him of what he had lost, of what he could never quite hold on to.

February 7, 2022

Los Angeles, California

The suitcase lay open on the bed, half-packed, with clothes spilling over the edges like an unspoken reflection of your mind. Each item you folded and placed inside felt heavy, as if carrying pieces of the last year with you. Taylor sat cross-legged in the chair by the window, scrolling through her phone while talking, but her words barely reached you over the noise in your head.

“I’m surprised you said yes, that’s all,” she said, her voice light with curiosity. “You’ve basically been a hermit for a year now.”

You laughed softly, your hands smoothing over the fabric of a sweater. “I needed the break, you know that. ”

She raised an eyebrow but didn’t push yet. You were grateful for the acceptance, even if you knew she was waiting to bring it up again, the same way she always did.

“One day, you’ll tell me what really happened,” Taylor continued, her voice taking on a familiar teasing edge. “You'll tell me what had you sulking at home like a sad Victorian poet for a whole year.”

You folded another shirt and placed it in the suitcase before responding, “I’ve told you countless times. Nothing happened other than…he got a girlfriend, and I stayed out of the way. That’s it.”

Taylor squinted at you as if she didn’t quite believe it, her eyes narrowing with the kind of suspicion only a close friend could afford to show. “Aha,” she said slowly, drawing out the sound.

You rolled your eyes but smiled.

“I wasn't sulking,” you admitted, trying to keep your tone light. “I was…relaxing. It was my year of rest and relaxation.”

She chuckled at that. “Good one, smarty pants."

Outside, a breeze rustled through the palm trees, carrying the scent of jasmine and the distant hum of LA traffic. You imagined the street below, the shuffling of photographers leaning against their cars, lighting cigarettes, and murmuring to each other. They had become a permanent fixture, appearing gradually over the months, staking out your house like ghosts waiting for you to return to life.

It never ceased to surprise you how much people cared about what you did off-screen. You couldn’t just let your work stand for itself. No, you had to prove yourself over and over again, reminding the world that you were still an asset, still someone worth admiring.

You shrugged, half-smiling, but there was something sad in it. “Don’t get your hopes up. I’m only doing this because I've been dying to work with this director, and it’s a closed set. Once those eight weeks are up, it’s back to my hermit status.”

Taylor shook her head with a dramatic sigh. “So we’re missing the Oscars again this year?”

You threw a pair of socks at her, chuckling. “Seems like it.”

But inside, everything wasn’t as lighthearted as your words. Last year, you’d taken a step back from the spotlight, and while you didn’t want to attribute it to the hurt you were feeling over Pedro, the truth was, it had everything to do with him. Well, at least a huge chunk of it. It hurt not to have him. It hurt to see someone else kiss him, hold his hand so freely, so easily. The pain wrapped itself around you like a second skin.

The world expected you to bounce back, to emerge from this self-imposed exile with a smile and a perfect soundbite. But the truth was messier. You had spent a year nursing a heart that hadn’t fully healed. You loved Pedro in a way that still hurt, in a way that sometimes made you feel like a child who didn’t understand why they couldn’t have the one thing they wanted most. You wanted to be the bigger person, the one who could let him go gracefully, but instead, you had hidden.

You were blue all the time. Some days were okay; some days you barely got out of bed.

There were moments it felt paralyzing. The weight of the world outside your window, the expectations, the love you still felt for him—all of it crushed you. Some days, you simply couldn’t move. You stayed curled up in the safety of your blankets, staring blankly at the ceiling.

It wasn’t long before someone intervened. Your PA was that someone.

She didn’t push you at first. She’d just knock on your door, leave food outside, and ask if you needed anything. You’d spent three weeks in your room, moving only to get water or occasionally sit by the window.

One afternoon, Renata came in and found you in the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. She placed a sandwich she brought on the counter and looked at you, her voice careful, but firm. “You need to talk to someone.”

“I’m talking to you,” you replied simply, taking a sip of water.

“No, you know what I mean. A professional. It’s okay if you don’t feel…” She didn’t finish the sentence. She didn’t have to.

“I’m fine,” you said, starting to walk toward the stairs.

“You’re not going to eat?” she called after you.

“Not hungry, but thanks,” you mumbled, disappearing into your room again.

But Renata didn’t let it go. She pushed gently, week after week, until finally, you let her schedule an appointment. She promised not to say anything to anyone, especially Taylor. You didn’t want to worry her.

The word depression had seemed too big to say aloud, too heavy, but that’s exactly the word your psychiatrist had used.

“You’ll need to take these every morning,” he said, handing you a small prescription bottle. “And it would be good to write how you feel. Keep track of things.”

You sat there, legs crossed in an oversized chair, staring at the prescription bottle in your hand.

•••

You watched from the sidelines as Pedro continued to rise, landing roles in The Last of Us, becoming the face everyone adored. You were thrilled for him, of course, but the distance between you felt insurmountable.

The only interaction you had was through a comment on his Instagram post, and even then, you weren’t sure if it meant anything. You didn't dare to call him on his birthday; you didn't want to stain his day with sadness. Every time you looked at your phone, tears threatened to spill. You felt as if the moment he spoke into the phone, you might collapse.

He's better off; he might not even notice.

The album you dropped in the spring had been a release of every emotion you hadn’t been able to speak aloud. Each song was laced with love and loss, heartbreak and longing; every note was a confession you’d never let yourself voice. You wondered if he listened to it—if the lyrics registered with him, if he knew they were about him.

That same week, you saw photos of him in London, holding her hand. You cried yourself to sleep that night.

The months passed in a blur of avoidance. You busied yourself at home with anything you could find that didn’t involve thinking about him. You did the one interview your publicist insisted on. It was with Zane Lowe; you liked him, so it was mostly okay. You found yourself talking about the songs you wrote during that time. As you listened to your own words, you realized that the music had given you a voice when you felt silenced by heartache.

It was a bittersweet realization.

By October, filming for The Mandalorian had loomed on the horizon, and when you found out Pedro was still tied up in Canada, you suggested beginning production without him. It felt easier that way, like a reprieve. But when he finally arrived on set, the connection between you two still crackled beneath the surface. There was an unspoken understanding in the way he looked at you during that intense scene—the one where your character saw his face for the first time. He froze, and you wondered what was running through his mind—what thoughts had stopped him from continuing.

You hesitated, but after the scene wrapped, you found yourself asking him to dinner. It was a slippery slope. You could pretend you were okay all you wanted in the brief moments between takes, offering coffee and smiles, but no one saw right through you like him.

Still, you asked. It was a small gesture, just a way to extend the fragile thread of connection between you, to hold onto him for a little longer before he left again.

But you’d learned how to stay in your lane. You’d learned how to love him from a distance, how to let him be happy with someone else. It was an act of love, really—letting him go, stepping aside to give him the space to live a life that didn’t include you. At least that’s what you told yourself.

Taylor’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. “Do you think you could be a hermit in Greece next? I could use a vacation.”

May 29, 2022

Los Angeles, California

Between promoting The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent and wrapping up the final scenes of The Last of Us in Canada, he had little time to do, well, anything else really.

It was late May, just after the Star Wars Celebration. He’d worn a blue two-piece set that felt more like pajamas than anything formal, which was fine by him. Comfort was the priority these days.

But something was missing. You. You hadn’t been there. Out of everyone from the cast, you were the only one absent, and that absence settled like an itch he couldn’t scratch.

"She’s just taking time off," he’d tell himself, repeating the words like a mantra. “She’s probably busy; she's okay.” But the nagging feeling wouldn’t leave him alone.

Pedro had even caved one evening, calling Taylor. It had been late, after a full day of press, his voice rough from interviews and late-night whiskey. He had only meant for it to be one drink. But then he thinks back to the fact that you've plagued his dreams every night this week and that there was a song he kept hearing repeatedly that reminded him of you, and one drink had turned to three, and now here he is.

“Taylor?” He had sounded more vulnerable than he intended. “Is she... I mean, everything’s okay, right?”

Taylor had reassured him, of course, her voice patient, telling him you were fine, that you just were busy. Pedro wanted to believe her, but it gnawed at him. Something felt off.

He still woke up some mornings with the urge to tell you something, a joke he heard or a weird dream he had.

•••

By August he found himself in Spain, the arid heat of the desert sinking into his skin as filming for Strange Way of Life began. The project felt like a strange departure—something raw and gritty, something that required his full attention—but even then, in quiet moments between takes, his mind wandered. He’d sit in his trailer, his phone in hand, thumb hovering over your contact name, but the messages stayed unsent.

The days passed in a blur of rehearsals, early morning call times, and late-night script revisions. He spent his downtime with Ethan, exchanging stories over beers. But there was a quietness to Pedro that hadn’t been there before—a missing piece of him he couldn’t quite place.

•••

November 22, 2022

Miami, Florida

The night was sweltering; even by late fall standards, the air was thick and humid. Pedro was grinning, wearing a loose-fitting animal print shirt that made him feel playful, like he was stepping into some exaggerated version of himself for the evening. Lux was by his side, vibrant as always, their laughter mingling with the clink of glasses as they arrived at a wine event.

But it didn’t take long for Lux to notice the shadow that hung over him.

“You’ve been quiet,” she said, side-eyeing him as they sipped their drinks by the bar.

“I’ve been busy,” Pedro answered vaguely, swirling his glass and watching the amber liquid catch the light.

“Sure,” Lux replied, smirking. “And when are you both going to stop being idiots? It’s getting tiresome, hermanito.”

Pedro nearly choked on his drink, laughing in surprise. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb.” Lux’s voice was matter-of-fact, cutting through his defenses with that typical bluntness only siblings could pull off. “You and her. It’s obvious. To everyone.”

Pedro sighed, leaning back against the bar, the Miami night buzzing around them. “It’s not that simple.”

Lux raised an eyebrow. “Really? You’re both so afraid of what might happen that you’re stuck in this limbo. It’s ridiculous. Why let it get this bad?”

Pedro stared into his glass, her words echoing in his head.

"Because I love her," Pedro finally admitted, his voice quieter, weighed down by the truth. He stared down at his drink, swirling the ice around the glass. "I love her so much I’m willing to let her go."

Lux didn’t say anything.

Pedro shook his head, a bitter smile playing at his lips. "I would only hold her back. I know her so well. She’d sacrifice things just to be with me, and I can’t let her do that. I would only hold her back. She deserves so much better."

Lux tilted her head, her eyes narrowing. “And what if what she wants is you? What if she’s out there feeling the same way, thinking she’s the one who isn’t good enough for you? Do you ever think about that?”

Pedro let out a slow breath, his shoulders sagging under the weight of it all. "Of course I’ve thought about it. Every day. But what if I’m wrong? What if she gives up things she shouldn’t for me? I can’t let her do that, Lux."

Lux leaned in closer, her voice gentle but firm. "Maybe it’s not your decision to make. Maybe she deserves the choice. Don’t you think it’s a bit arrogant to assume what’s best for her without even asking?"

Pedro met her gaze, feeling exposed. “I just... I don’t want to mess it up. I don’t want to ruin her life.”

Lux smiled, but it wasn’t pitying. It was knowing, soft around the edges. "You’re not ruining anything by loving her. But keeping it to yourself? That’s where the damage is, hermanito. You think you’re protecting her, but all you’re doing is pushing her away. And trust me, that hurts more than anything else."

He had always been so afraid of losing you, so terrified of not being enough, that he hadn’t even realized how much distance he had created.

Lux’s voice softened again, the words cutting through the noise in his mind. "She deserves better, Pedro? Maybe. But who says you don’t deserve her, too?"

a/n: please like, reblog and comment! i love reading your thoughts!! next part will be posted in a bit ;) aaaand something might be happening ;)

[cordeliawhohung]

thinking about how shy!reader has so much doubt about mafia!simon’s attraction to her (we all know he’s completely whipped).

just him proving how much she really does affect him 🤭

this reminds me of that one image/gif (that i can't find rip) that was going around a few months back where the guy has his girl rub him through his boxers and is like "see what you do to me?" or something like that and- (self conscious reader, suggestive content ahead)

-

sometimes it's hard to believe that Simon would date someone like you. it's as if he sees an entirely different person from the figure you see when you look in the mirror. your skin never seems to fit right over your body, and all it ever did was itch, stretch, and tear. all you did was take up too much room when you would much rather dissipate into thin air.

so then why is he looking at you like that? with dark eyes that can't seem to shroud the pure adoration he has for you as he stares at you from his side of the bed. as the two of you lounge in bed during your lazy Sunday morning, Simon looks at you as if you're the only girl in the world, and it makes you want to pull the blanket up over your face and hide away from him. before you could even attempt it, Simon reaches his hand out to rest on your cheek as if he was afraid you'd vanish into thin air if he didn't. your skin grows hot underneath his touch, and he grins at you as if he can feel it.

"what're you getting bashful for?" he teases.

"what do you see in me?"

the question leaves your mouth before it fully formed in your mind, but it had been on the tip of your tongue for so long it was bound to leave eventually. that toothy grin on his face quickly vanishes as his face morphs into something more tense and confused. still, his hand on your face is still as gentle and loving as ever.

"everything," he says without hesitation.

and you want to believe him, but you can't. he's so handsome. so well put together and funny and everything you never thought you'd be able to have. and you're just... you. a grown woman who still feels like a little girl, forever trapped somewhere you don't think you'll be able to escape. and Simon can read every thought that crosses your mind, and he speaks up before you're able to attempt to retort.

"i see everything in you. everything i've ever wanted," he continues. "i've never felt this much love and want for anyone until i met you. you have no idea what you do to me."

though you had asked the question, hearing his response was enough to steal the breath from your lungs, and even as the two of you lay next to one another, you feel as if you're about to melt through the mattress. the only thing keeping you grounded is his hand on your cheek, but even that begins to wander down your body until he finds your hand.

"it just... feels unreal," you admit, "that someone could love me this much without wanting anything in return."

his thumb brushes over your knuckles before he pulls your hand to his mouth to kiss them, and you swear you've never wanted to be devoured so bad in your entire life.

"that's what love is supposed to be, sweetheart," he quips.

he puts your hand on his chest where you can feel the strong thudding of his heart before he slowly slides it down. the fabric of his shirt catches on your fingers as you traverse along his abdomen, and your breath catches as you reach the waistline of his joggers. every inch of his skin seems to shudder as he has you paw at his hardened cock through the fabric of his sweats, and your teeth instinctively bite into your lip.

"this is what you do to me," he whispers. his voice is low in his throat and strains a little as his hips press forward into your hand as if craving your touch. "you make me crazy. i'd do anything for you, give anything for you. i've never loved anything as much as i love you."

you can't deny the insatiable stirring in your stomach when he says those words, but you know it's true. he wouldn't still be looking at you like that if it was a lie. when his lips crash into yours, you can't seem to remember why you had ever doubted him in the first place.

[pretentiousgayguyidk]

Heyy can i request a sanzu x reader who doesn’t like their bday fluff where they sit on the balcony and smoke together in the middle of the night sorry if this is like rly specific😭

Perfect- honestly perfect. We love soft Sanzu here.

ANYWAYS IM BACK BITCHES!!!

Slamming the door behind him, tears streaking his face as he fumed. It was his birthday. The worst birthday he had ever had. To start off he still had work, unable to take leave due to the works urgency. The constant nagging and scolding of Takeomi along with his mother's... Lack of input was enough to tip him over the boiling point.

He threw his bag to the side and his phone across the room, it's constant buzzing irritating him more and more. "'Happy birthday' my ass. Nothing 'happy' about it." He grumbled, sniffling a little. Being apart of Bonten was nothing short of horrible, the only manageable thing there was his boyfriend, Sanzu Haruchiyo. Even then, Sanzu's drug addiction was hard to deal with, it was almost weekly he would come home to Sanzu half dead on the floor from overdosing on something.

"Baby? You alright?" Sanzu called out from somewhere deeper in the apartment. (Name) choked on a sob, wiping his face as he wobbled through the living room and into the kitchen. He splashed a handful of water on his face, cleaning off the tears only for more to come.

Sanzu took note of the bag and shattered phone. Who pissed him off? Shit isn't it his birthday? Is he mad at me for forgetting? Sanzu shivered at the thought of (Name) being that pissed at him. Sanzo approached his boyfriend carefully, watching as he smacked himself muttering nonsense. "(Name)... Baby what's wrong?" The younger jumped a little, spinning around to see his pink haired boyfriend.

Sanzu's hair was sticking every which-a-way, and his eyes were tired - like he had just woken up. He hummed a little before stepping closer, gently taking his boyfriend's hand into his. "Haru..." Sanzu hummed, tilting his head to the side. He was unusually docile, like a sleepy puppy. (Name) let out a tired sigh, hugging his boyfriend tightly. The drug addict tensed a little before reciprocating, gently running his fingers through the other's slightly dirty hair.

"Bad birthday?" Sanzu whispered. (Name) nodded, taking a deep uneven breath. He sighed, enjoying the scent of cologne, smoke, and detergent. Sanzu hummed quietly, blinking away his grogginess. "Come on... Let's go baby."

"What?" (Name) mumbled, glancing up at his boyfriend earning a soft, lazy smile. He didn't respond, silently guiding his boyfriend out to the balcony. (Name) gave him a confused look until he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"Take your mind off it?" He asked, taking one out and offering it to the (h/c) haired man. (Name) gave him a loving smile, laughing a little as he accepts the cancer stick. Sanzu took his own and quickly lit it, turning to (Name) and pressing the burning tobacco against his unlit cigarette. Sanzu puffed out a bit of smoke as he pulled away, smiling at his lover who took a long drag.

They gazed down at the city, observing the blue, pink, and red lights. It was therapeutic... Watching the nights bustling activity from above. Seeing the night so alive with life, it felt fictional. Unreal. It was almost like a fever dream. "This is nice..."

"Yeah... It is." The pink haired man smiled mindlessly, taking another slow an sling drag of his cigarette and blowing it out slowly through his nose. The nicotine clouded the two's brains with a thin layer of fog, making them feel relaxed. (Name) sighed, smoke drifting from his lips as he rested his head on Sanzu's shoulder. He lazily intertwined their fingers, pressing his face into Sanzu's soft hoodie's fabric.

"I love moments like this... It's calming." (Name) mumbled, flicking some ash from his cigarette. Sanzu hummed absentmindedly in response, gazing up at the nights sky. It being Tokyo, almost none of the stars were visible, other than the north star which shown brightly compared to the opaque specks of white around it. The moon was golden in colour and thin streaky clouds glowing orange framed the skyline nicely.

"Oh! I also forgot, I got you something." Sanzu mumbled, taking one last puff of his cigarette before sniffing it out on the railing and running off inside. (Name) glanced back at the door curiously, finishing off his cigarette before following. He found Sanzu in their room, digging through the closet grumbling quiet curses as he searched.

Eventually, after almost half an hour of him searching through the house, he found the gift. It was a little stuffed (fav/animal) that he got (Name) for his last birthday, in the span of a year and an argument the little critter got ripped - and that's when (Name) noticed the little bruised pin pricks and tiny cuts all over Sandy's hands. (Name) smiled great fully, gently taking the little stuffed animal, noticing a tiny little stain near where the tear was.

"I felt bad..." Sandy mumbled, (name) laughed aloud and hugged his boyfriend.

"I love you, you idiot."

[alwaysteveswife]

Hi, I wanted to ask you please for a one-shot of Eddie, I was thinking about something Fluff, maybe bestfriends to lovers, thank you very much, I love how you write 💕💖

Starlight Rendezvous | Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader.

a/n: Sorry it took me so long to do it 🥲 in my defense, tumblr hates me so much that it deleted everything I had been doing and I had to do it again :(. Thank you so much for ordering, hope you like it <3 and thanks for the compliment 🥺.

Falling in love with your best friend isn't easy, telling him, much less so. Eddie had a crush on Y/N for years, and Vecna's arrival in Hawkins only increased his need to tell her the truth. Now, some time after he recovery, Eddie is determined to propose, no matter what the response.

Warnings: Fluff, bestfriend! Eddie, Fear of darkness.

Words: 1,547

Autumn had arrived in Hawkins. The cool early morning breeze was blowing the dry leaves all over town. In some houses you could see how families would gather them all into a small pile that, once secure enough, would be unraveled by a mischievous child in the mood for fun.

Eddie was not a big fan of this season, he was bothered by the rustling of the leaves and how spooky some trees could look when they were bare. As a child he would cry at the sight of the hideous shadows reflected in his curtain or on the ground.

Despite that, it wasn't all so bad. He had already managed to overcome that childhood fear, even used it to his advantage, using those imaginary monsters made of shadows to create enemies and use them in DnD as backstories.

Sometimes, when he was alone and silent, he wondered what would have happened if he hadn't met you.

You were one of the main reasons his fear was able to disappear. He met you when he came to Hawkins with his Uncle Wayne. You were taller than him, just a little, had freckles all over your face, and beautiful green eyes. You approached him when a much smaller girl insisted that you should talk to more people. It didn't take long for both of you to become friends as soon as you realized all the things you had in common.

As the years went by your friendship grew and grew, until it formed into a relationship of pure trust, a 'if they do something to you, they mess with me', but even more importantly, it became a relationship of bilateral love, a love that you both preferred to leave it a secret for fear of ruining everything, something you decided to hide behind the shadows and just joke about.

Or at least that's what you thought before Vecna showed up. You were about to lose your best friend, the person who was always there for you, the one who could be the love of your life, and all why? Because of the fear of giving up whatever it were you had.

For Eddie's part, all he could think about was how sensitive humans are. Despite what many believe, they don't live long. They can die easily, at any moment, without warning, what guaranteed him that he would have a third chance to save himself? He couldn't bear to leave this world without telling you everything he felt from the bottom of his heart.

And that brings you to this moment. Both standing facing each other, the autumn breeze fluttering through the air, messing up your hair and making it look even more unreal than it already did to Eddie. Both were breathing heavily, both came running towards each other, each holding a small torn piece of paper with a simple phrase written in the center.

'I need you.

-Y/N'

Eddie's said written in purple crayon, your favorite color.

'I must tell you something important.

-Eddie'

Said yours, the handwriting was much messier and unlike yours, this one was more crumpled.

"What happened?" You both muttered at the same time, confusion growing in your faces.

"You left this at my house" you said, holding up the crumpled, misspelled piece of paper. Eddie squinted, examining the sheet closely.

"True it's my handwriting, but I didn't send that" he pointed to the sheet in his hand, beginning to feel insecurity flutter in his stomach "I guess you didn't send this then".

"No, I didn't" you folded the paper into four pieces, tucking it into the back pocket of your denim shorts "I'm sure Robin played a joke on us".

He just nodded, mentally thanking whoever had done this. He couldn't regret it.

"But..." he swallowed as he saw you staring at him, waiting expectantly for him to say whatever it was he had to say "maybe we could take this moment to walk around a bit, don't you think? It's been a long time since we've talked."

"Okay" you shrugged, hoping not to show how much emotion being alone with Eddie for at least ten minutes was causing you.

Ever since Vecna had attacked, everyone had been on Eddie's case, and for the same reason you could hardly be alone like you used to be. None of you said anything, but you hated how they were interrupted again and again, as if they didn't know what you were feeling.

And yes, everyone knew you liked each other, from 'little' Erica to old Uncle Wayne. And yes, it was absurd to everyone that you hadn't proposed yet, you were too obvious, and even stupider.

"There's a place I've been meaning to take you for a while now, but I haven't been able to do it, you know, with work and all the evaluations" he excused himself quickly, scratching his hair nervously.

"Yeah, easy, I get it" you laughed, taking his hand. Eddie couldn't help but think that this time it felt different, intimate.

You both walked lazily through the woods. You were confused, but it thrilled you to think of the place Eddie had found. He had told you it was beautiful, that it was almost as if it had been made for the two of you. Your feet ached, but you believed Eddie, and if he said it was worth it, then you trust him.

"Wait" Eddie murmured, smiling broadly "you can't see, it's surprise."

"I hope it's as beautiful as you promise" you joked, starting to feel butterflies in your stomach, and not the good kind. It was getting dark and the sound of rustling leaves were scaring you more and more.

"Trust me" he stood behind you, covering your eyes carefully. They walked a little further, Eddie holding your waist carefully, giving caresses almost unconsciously. "We're here" He whispered in your ear, sending a shiver through your body.

But you didn't care, not when you had that view in front of you.

Maybe for many it wouldn't be a big deal, but for you it was almost paradise. Everything was dark, you supposed it was after nine o'clock at night, but still you had never seen anything so bright. The place was full of fireflies flying freely around a rickety van that looked like it had some old hippie drawings on it. Inside the van were some sheets and pillows, from the ceiling hung some white Christmas lights that illuminated the interior almost magically, and among all the tangle of blankets was an old acoustic guitar that had some half deformed drawings of skulls and unreadable words.

"It's..." you approached at a slow pace, circling in place, watching the fireflies float around like little shooting stars "it's beautiful, Eddie".

"It is" he smiled, even though he wasn't talking about the same thing you were. Since he uncovered your eyes he could only look at you, and all he could think was that this place wouldn't come up to your feet.

"Did you do it?" You muttered, turning to look at him in amazement.

He cleared his throat, walking over to the van and leaning back among the blankets, patting his side to keep you company.

"I found the van a few weeks ago and thought it would look nice with some decorations" you just nodded, laying down next to him, looking up at the ceiling full of lights.

"Look" Eddie smiled, raising his arms and making strange figures with his hands "remember the first time we stayed together?"

You just laughed, raising your hands next to him, looking at the shadows on the wall.

"Of course I do, it was in the fall, wasn't it?" without taking your eyes off the wall, forming a rabbit with your hands.

"That's right" Eddie murmured, making a fox "I started crying when the shadows of the trees peeked into my room" he smiled slightly, bringing his hand close to yours, barely an inch "and you turned on the lamp and started making animals with your hands."

"That was fun" you nodded, mimicking Eddie and moving your hand closer to his.

Eddie sat up, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers carefully. You both began to feel nervous. This time, you thought, butterflies aren't bad.

"That..." he cleared his throat, watching as you sat down next to him, the lights shining in your greenish eyes "that was the first day I found out it was how I felt about you."

You opened your lips just slightly, your hand unconsciously squeezing Eddie's.

"What was it?" You murmured, leaning closer to him until you felt your breaths merge.

"Love" he whispered, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see your furious face, so he wouldn't have to see the rejection in those beautiful eyes.

To his surprise, all he received was a rough kiss, barely a brush of lips that slowly grew as you both began to move your hands up.

You stroked her curls, messing up the ponytail Eddie wore; he held your cheeks gently, caressing your cheekbones softly.

They reluctantly parted as you ran out of air. You pressed your foreheads together, both had your eyes locked and a smirk on your faces.

"I love you too, Eddie" you murmured, kissing his knuckles.

Masterlist

[selamat-linting]

One day about a month ago, I really hit bottom. You know, I just felt that in a Godless universe, I didn't want to go on living. Now I happen to own this rifle, which I loaded, believe it or not, and pressed it to my forehead. And I remember thinking, at the time, I'm gonna kill myself. Then I thought, what if I'm wrong? What if there is a God? I mean, after all, nobody really knows that. But then I thought, no, you know, maybe is not good enough. I want certainty or nothing. And I remember very clearly, the clock was ticking, and I was sitting there frozen with the gun to my head, debating whether to shoot

All of a sudden, the gun went off. I had been so tense my finger had squeezed the trigger inadvertently. But I was perspiring so much the gun had slid off my forehead and missed me. And suddenly neighbors were, were pounding on the door, and, and I don't know, the whole scene was just pandemonium. And, uh, you know, I-I-I ran to the door, I-I didn't know what to say. You know, I was-I was embarrassed and confused and my-my-my mind was r-r-racing a mile a minute. And I-I just knew one thing I-I-I had to get out of that house, I had to just get out in the fresh air and-and clear my head

And I remember very clearly, I walked the streets. I walked and I walked. I-I didn't know what was going through my mind. It all seemed so violent and un-unreal to me. And I wandered for a long time on the Upper West Side, you know, and-and it must have been hours. You know, my-my feet hurt, my head was-was pounding, and-and I had to sit down. I went into a movie house. I-I didn't know what was playing or anything I just, I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts and, and be logical and put the world back into rational perspective

And I went upstairs to the balcony, and I sat down, and, you know, the movie was a-a-a film that I'd seen many times in my life since I was a kid, and-and I always, uh, loved it. And, you know, I'm-I'm watching these people up on the screen and I started getting hooked on the film, you know. And I started to feel, how can you even think of killing yourself. I mean isn't it so stupid?

I mean, l-look at all the people up there on the screen. You know, they're real funny, and-and what if the worst is true. What if there's no God, and you only go around once and that's it. Well, you know, don't you want to be part of the experience? You know, what the hell, it's-it's not all a drag. And I'm thinkin' to myself, geez, I should stop ruining my life - searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after, who knows? I mean, you know, maybe there is something. Nobody really knows. I know, I know maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but that's the best we have. And then, I started to sit back, and I actually began to enjoy myself

[beaversatemygrandma]

What the actual fuck happened this morning. Fucked up dream. Fucked up amount of back pain. And a fucked up amount of sweat.

So. Last night. I went to bed at a decent time. About 130. Took a melatonin. I was READY to SLEEP. Then comes this sharp and throbbing back pain. So. I go about doing a few stretches i know relieve that. It. Got. Worse. I ended up laying awake until 7am. Just. Pain. And Suffering.

Finally, i fall asleep for about an hour. I ended up having this whole goddamn elaborate dream that i don’t remember half of. But it felt so damn real. I was with my ex in some huge hospital like building, hiding out from these gang members whose leader was trying to create a harem of men. He was after my ex. I saw what was going on with this guy and was like ‘uhhhhh fuck that’ and went about trying to escape from this place. There was this whole thing of running from some tall guy with lots of tattoos, accidentally walking in on him sexually warming up one of his men, and then finally getting out the doors and ending up in a disused train tunnel. Where. Take a guess. MORE of the gang were. I don’t remember what all happened in there but it couldn’t have been good. 

I woke up. Drenched in sweat. My back still ACHED. It was 830. I have not had such strong suicidal thoughts in literal YEARS. Possibly the most ever. I wanted to Fucking Die. I was Tired. I Hurt. I was Nauseous. I felt like shit. There’s a goddamn spider that’s been chilling on the ceiling in my bathroom since midnight and i was too high/tired to deal with him. He’s still there. I still don’t have the energy to deal with him but the door’s shut and that’s the spider’s bathroom now. He’s a kinda big cellar spider and Ew. Anywho. I ended up giving up on sleep and heading out to the living room. I remembered how the bout of back pain in FL went. I miss the partner. I need a damn hug rn and they give the best ones and that night ended up with me realizing it was food poisoning, throwing up, and then literally just crawling into bed with them holding me and passing tf out even tho i still had major back pain and was able to sleep through the rest of the night no issues. THIS TIME. It was 8am. I was like. Okay. Maybe i got food poisoning somehow again. Might as well get rid of that. I tried to throw up. I failed. That was going nowhere and my throat hurt. I went back out into the living room. Turned on the tv. Sat there for a while just wondering what to do. Not even turning on a show. Just spaced tf out and wanting to cry. Then my sister comes out at like 930 for breakfast. She’s making cereal. I’m trying not to cry. I tell her i haven’t slept and would rather her stay quiet and leave me alone. So. She just went on her way. ate. All that shit. Once she sat down i was like. I want to lay down. My Bed. Was Still Fucking Damp. From Sweat. Like The Fuck. I made the bed so i was laying on the comforter. Grabbed my pokemon throw blanket bc that was the closest thing to comfort and i didn’t want to use my weighted blanket and sweat tf out again. I layed down. Turned on music. And just sat there pressed between soft fleece and even softer fleece. Soft and cozy. But it wasn’t the sheer comfort i had back in FL with the partner but it sufficed. SOMEHOW. I passed tf out and slept another five hours and didn’t get up til 1230. Not enough sleep still but Holy Fuck I got some.

And now here i am. Pain free in my back. Still tired as all hell. I have a headache. I was clenching my teeth bc pain most of the night and my damn wisdom teeth are killing me. I’ve taken so much fucking advil through the night I’m scared to take more. At least my back doesn’t hurt now.

Ugh. I need to eat, shower, and change my damn sheets today. But I’m tired and depressed today so. Fun.

[utilitycaster]

@nairdde32 replied to your post “Episode Thoughts”:

Wait so, they need to slow down, but also just throw laudmogen away because they're not going fast enough? I'm confused. Also the reason they didn't have closer ties to the setting is probably because they knew they were outsiders irl and didn't think it was appropriate.

​This is an extremely revealing reply, and I disagree with all of it:

Having Laudna die is not "throwing laudmogen away"; it's a character death, with all that entails. However, it's been immensely clear that the fandom continues to have little conception of Laudna beyond "can be put into a relationship with Imogen" and "Delilah". It's true that I primarily focused on Imogen's relationship with Laudna, because that was what was most in focus this episode...but also, yes, the plot needs to slow down but their relationship has felt simultaneously stagnant but unrealized.

Think about Caleb and Nott, Fjord and Jester, or Yasha and Molly early in Campaign 2, or even the Ring of Brass in Calamity (note: I'm excluding campaign 1 because I can't say for sure how much is home game vs. pre-planned). There was a weight of knowing each other in those pairs or groups that I just don't see. They've been traveling with just each other for 2 years. Where's the anecdotes? Where's the inside jokes? Where's literally any sense of shared experience prior to coming to Jrusar a few months ago and moving in together? Imogen doesn't even know Delilah isn't a goddess. Laudna continually does not realize how Imogen feels about her powers, something that, once again, most of the rest of the party and minor NPCs seem to have picked up on. If I had to be generous, I'd say that because the two of them both felt so ostracized they were too terrified to open up further for fear that this person would leave them too, and for what it's worth I think Marisha has done that work with Laudna's characterization...but it hasn't moved forward.

And yes, the plot needs to slow down so there is more time for character conversations and character beats; this is not a contradiction. In this case, actually, I can use Campaign 1 as an example...think about Vasselheim, or the build-up to the Briarwoods. Not a ton was going on, plot-wise; they spent much of Vasselheim on fetch quests and shopping, and then they spent a lot of time in Emon mostly messing around and then traveling, but there were tons of conversations in those arcs that truly haven't had time to occur in this campaign because we keep having hour-long lore dumps instead.

I also want to be clear: I would not be advocating to just kill off one of them to fix the plot or anything...but yeah, if one of them has died? I think there's a lot that can be done with a new character that Laudna, who I think is a very good character who's in a campaign that doesn't work well for her, cannot achieve.

This was already long but the second part is actually truly baffling. If a white cast believes they cannot tell a story about a continent primarily inspired by western, southern, and southeast Asian cultures then that's a valid choice, but then don't tell the story. Set the campaign in Issylra or the Shattered Teeth, and give Marquet over to EXU series.

I would argue it makes it worse to still tell the story, but rather than having characters rooted in the setting allowing you to truly engage with the cultures, to actively decide to tell it from the perspective of outsiders. Indeed, one of the main ideas in Said's Orientalism is that stories about Western Asia are told largely through the lens of the visiting colonizer. It seems a disservice to run two campaigns where PCs are tied to people, powers, and cities on the continent in a way that informs how much they care about their home, and then to specifically decide not to do that for Marquet and play characters who will pull the plot to Tal'Dorei instead. And to be clear, I think this was an oversight, not a deliberate choice, which is good, because an oversight is an understandable mistake and a deliberate choice would be, well, all of the above. A deliberate choice would also make the fact that the singular Marquesian character is, in fact, a white woman, completely nonsensical.

[heejojo]

Mr Hollywood

summary: Sim Jaeyun had made it, he had finally fulfilled his dream of being an artist but he had to leave the place he called he called home promising he would come back when everything was okay. He’s back now but are you sure it’s the same Jake you once knew?

genre: fluff, minor angst, childhood lovers turned exes to lovers again

pairing: Celebrity Sim Jaeyun x non-celebrity reader (with enhypen and treasure appearances)

warning: none

word count: 4.1k

a/n: although it has been proofread, I cannot guarantee no errors so please let me know if you see any! please let me know what you think. likes and reblogs are appreciated and I hope you have a good day.

listen to the playlist here

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taglist (open): @enhyphun @jungwoniics @penny-quinn @ncthpen @fylithia @taecup-ontrack @renee1414@studioreader

“And the Artist Of The Year Award goes to none other than...” the announcer said, keeping you all at the edge of your seats. Everyone here had voted for Jake so many times so that he would win. The announcer looked at the folded card in his hand before smiling and saying.

“Jake Sim!” The screams of everyone in the beer parlour with you watching the award ceremony were probably louder than those in the venue itself. You all watched in pride as the look of shock was evident on his face and he shakily walked to the podium to collect the award. You smiled at how good he looked, he had come so far from the boy you once knew here.

Five years ago, Jake had left his hometown, where he grew up for 18 years to pursue his dream. Granted, not everyone is supposed to stay for the rest of their lives but he thought he was going to stay but he made up his mind to leave for his passion. You all supported him even if you weren’t able to talk to him because of his busy schedule. Being able to cheer him from the sidelines was what you were content with. He was the pride of the town and people did not hesitate to show him off.

He gave the announcer a bow and collected the award. You could see the way his hands shook as he collected the award as if it felt unreal that he won.

“I would like to thank God for the ability to get to this point today and to thank my parents for always teaching me the right way and having the courage to let their child pursue his dreams even if it meant that I would be very far away; almost out of reach even. I love you. To all those that have continuously supported me and listened to my music, thank you. To the staff that have worked so hard and everyone I've had the pleasure of meeting, a big thank you to you" he said and walked off.

The excitement of the crowd reduced and everyone eventually retired to their homes while chatting amongst themselves. You think about the award one more time, feeling happy for him and move on. After all, the same way Sim has a life to live is the same way you do also.

The next day, when you wake up you feel a shift in the atmosphere. The birds are still chirping, yes but something feels unusual. You brush off the paranoia you feel and decide to do your usual morning duties and carry on with your day. While other people your age wanted to have prestigious jobs(not like there was anything wrong with that), you wanted something simple and had decided on being either a cafe owner or a florist.

Sadly, the cafe owner agenda wasn't able to work out because everyone in the vicinity was now aware of the way you burned down a cafe trying to bake and collectively decided that you should not be allowed to make food for people. Flowers were better than running a cafe shop. You stayed with your flowers and you were able to give

someone a flower when they needed it.

Need a flower for your mother? You got it, a daylily was exactly what they needed. Wanted to attend a funeral? Take a bouquet of lilies. It was easy to understand and you didn't directly put anyone in harm’s way. Although your shop was hardly ever full, you were content with everything.

That's why you're shocked when you find a line of people waiting to be let into your shop at 9 am. You raised an eyebrow in confusion but you opened the door nevertheless. At the end of the day, you were the one earning the money. You had things to buy, didn't you?

You take your place at the counter and start attending to the customers. They didn't tell you to pick out one for them and just chose it themselves. The crowd slowly reduced till there was only one person left. When there remained a few people, you quietly moved to one person to ask for the reason why they were so cheerful today.

"Jungwon, do you know why everyone is so happy today? My shop was full today!"

"Are you complaining about it?" He asks. Jungwon was the son of the cafe shop owner. He came to your shop frequently when he was on his break and you would talk to each other.

“Of course, I’m not. I just want to know what’s making everyone come here all of a sudden. Even old man Jay came here and you know that man never leaves his house. He bought a red carnation and I’m confused because who does he have affection for that he’s getting them flowers”

“He has a wife you know”

“Please, the last time they had a conversation with each other was when he asked for a divorce” you deadpanned.

“Look Y/N, who’s the one person in this town anyone would do anything for?”

“Kim Junkyu?”

“Close but not him, I wouldn’t do anything for him” Jungwon stated making you roll your eyes.

“The only person left is Sim Jaeyun and we know it’s not possible”

“Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner”

You give him a shaky smile before asking him, “You’re joking right?”

“I’m not,” he says sincerely. You nod your head and go sit on the nearest stool. Placing a hand on your throat as you begin to scratch at it (something you did when you were nervous) and just sit in silence while Jungwon continues talking.

“After the award ceremony, his management released a statement on his Instagram saying that he would be going on hiatus for two months to visit his family. So we townsmen decided to get flowers to pave the road with because he would be coming back. We would have used gold leaves but it’s too expensive”

He continued talking and talking while you were still trying to process the fact that Jake would be coming back. Physically he was still going to be the same Jake you had a crush on before he left but personality-wise? You doubted that. You heard stories of the way fame had changed people; the love from others would get to their heads and make them overly egotistical. A part of you knew that he wouldn’t change but the other part was unsure. Before he left, you made him promise to not change and while you knew promises could be broken, you knew he wouldn’t break them.

“Jungwon, I want to close the shop for today. I’m not feeling too well and want to rest a bit”

“No problem Y/N! If you want, I can stay here and do business for you”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve made enough money today to last me for next month” you say and shoo him away.

At home, you just sit and think for some time before getting up to make some tea and reminiscing about your high school memories. You hardly had feelings for people so when you did, you let them know immediately. When you told Jake that you liked him, he told you that he felt the same. You ignored him for a week after that because you didn’t think that far. After that, you met up with him and explained the reason why you avoided him. You went out with each other for less than 2 weeks and during that period, he had told you about his dreams of becoming an artist and you supported him wholeheartedly.

He would carry your books from school and you both would walk home together every day. He'd play the violin for you because he was good. You'd both pet stray cats and run when they started chasing you. All good things came to an end when he told you that he had to leave to pursue his dream. You both knew you were too young to even attempt a long-distance relationship so you let each other go even though it hurt. You’d watch his music videos and support his activities even though there was a possibility he would never return. Now that he was going to be here, how were you going to cope knowing that your feelings for him were still the same while his feelings could have gone, especially with all the beautiful people in the industry?

That night, while everyone was outside welcoming Mr Hollywood, you stayed in your house dreading the days that would come. The town was small so there was no way that you wouldn’t bump into him. The voices were loud when you tried to sleep. Seems like everyone was ecstatic that Jake had come back. The noise wasn’t able to let you sleep but deep down you knew it was because you were nervous.

You decide to bake cookies to reduce the stress you are currently feeling. You had learnt from your mistakes and no longer burnt kitchens (your kitchen being valid proof of that), but Jungwon’s dad still wouldn’t lift his ban. You baked cookies till 2 am before you were really tired enough to sleep. You had baked almost a hundred cookies that night.

The next morning, you made sure to wake up early so you wouldn’t run into anyone. Thankfully, the townspeople didn’t want to buy flowers that morning and got started on the orders that people out of town had placed. You brought cookies for Jungwon so he could test them. You were trying to fix the counter when someone walked in, making the bell jingle. Assuming it was Jungwon, you say, “Jungwon the cookies are on the counter. Test them and tell me what you think, don’t eat them and run away”

“I’m not a Jungwon but can I talk to Y/N?” You’re startled but you freeze, instantly recognizing the voice. Jake Sim.

“Hello, what would you like?” you asked with a forced smile. You were way too close, the proximity was making you uneasy. He looked a bit disappointed with the way you answered him but what did he expect to come to? It had been five years.

“I just wanted to tal-” he is cut off by Jungwon bursting through the door.

“Y/N, you will not believe who I saw. I saw Jake Sim with my very own two eyes. He looks so much hotter in real life. Do you think he’d sign my back if I asked-” he stopped instantly when he saw the person that was in the flower shop.

He looked like a fish out of water with the way his mouth was agape. Looking at you, then at Jake and then you again. He brought his hand to his head and he hit it hard making you startled.

“Sorry I will leave now,” Jungwon said.

“To cry” he murmured, making you chuckle. Jungwon was someone that cried when he did something embarrassing.

“Jungwon wait,” you say and walk to give him the cookies you had packed for him with a little note.

“Eat them and get back to me when you’re less you know...embarrassed” He snatches them from your hands and makes a run for the door. You giggle then you remember that Jake was still present. Turning to face him, you ask if he wants anything. “I want to talk to you”

You motion him to sit on the spare chair you had and he obliges. Before you even ask him a question, he begins, “Was that your boyfriend?”

“No, not that it concerns you though”

“Where you last night? I saw everyone but you. The Johnny kid said you were feeling ill. I doubt that wasn’t true as you made cookies. The last time I remembered, you were really bad at anything relating to the kitchen”

“Times change and people change, Jaeyun. It’s been 5 years since we last had a conversation with each other. I’m not the same and I’m sure you’re not the same either”

“Let’s get to know each other again. Do things the old fashioned way. Go on dates, paint, and bake with each other. Do some of the things we could have done 5 years ago.”

“And then when you have to leave and have no contact with each other again”

“I won’t do that, I promise. Never again.”

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“Let me prove it to you-”

He’s cut off by the entrance of another customer and stands up to leave but you don’t miss the longing look in his eyes. You hope he can see the same look in yours that’s covered by hurt and waiting for someone to return.

You were not expecting Jake to be at your store first thing on a Friday morning. He was even earlier than you and you're the boss.

“What are you doing here?” you ask. He was bouncing on his feet and looking cherry when you hadn’t even gotten enough sleep.

“I’m here to take you out. Do it like the old times where I’d wait for you so we could go to school together”

“I have work to do today and I’m going to be booked so another time”

“I have come to offer my assistance so tomorrow we can go out together”

“Don’t you have things to do?”

“I’m on a hiatus, I’m free for almost two months and if you want I can be free for more. Imagine all the things we could do in that time” he trails off, fantasizing when you hadn’t even told him that you still liked him. Meanwhile, you had opened the door and walked in.

"Aren't you going to come in and stop thinking of cute stuff?" you ask him and he quickly runs in, flustered.

He takes a look around and puts on a determined face and gets a broom and starts cleaning. For someone that's supposed to be a celebrity, he was cleaning like an employee. You take a rag and wipe all the surfaces and take care of the flowers. After an hour, the shop is ready to open. Customers come rolling in once they see a new help. Although they're surprised, they don't question it.

During your break, Jake picks up a chrysanthemum and hands it to you. "It's for you because you're beautiful," he says

"Hate to rain on your parade but if you gave me this in Italy, it means you wish I were dead" and with that, he takes back the flower instantly and brings a single red rose. You receive it with a small laugh, finding it funny when he doesn't want you misinterpreting him. You were having a sweet moment with him until Jungwon came in again.

"I'm getting tired of seeing you here Mr Sim. As much as I adore you, I need to meet my friend" he states and pulls you to the back. "Care to explain why Jake Sim is in your store again!?"

"Nope" you respond, popping the p. He brought his hand to his forehead and tried to relax his muscles because according to him, he doesn't want to look forty-five when he's thirty years old.

"Look, it's weird coming here and seeing you have company. I'm not against you having company seeing as you've been lonely the entire time I've known you but, I can't stay in his presence! Why must a man Look so gorgeous!? He's ruining my already broken esteem. Everybody saw him in real life and was wondering how a man could look that good."

"They saw him when he was seventeen years old," you tell him.

"And he's twenty-three now! He doesn't look the same and I don't even need to have known him then to know now"

"Jungwon, I want you to get to the point," you tell him, basically pleading at that point because your break would soon be over.

"I'll see you when I have enough confidence to meet him," he says and leaves the store. You shake your head at his overdramatic behaviour and continue with your day. Jake proves to be amazing assistance and you got things done quicker and even closed earlier.

"Thank you for offering help, you can go home now. See you tomorrow" you say in an attempt to shoo him out.

"I want to walk you home" he announces and goes with you home.

"Do you hate me for not talking to you?" he asks.

"I don't hate you. To be honest, I think we both did the right thing by not talking to each other. It was good we had each other in mind but I would have caused too much of a distraction for you. It was great you focused on your career and achieved your goals. I did well too"

"Johnny boy said you were lonely though," he said.

"Number one, I know you know his name is Jungwon but you're just being petty. Two, why were you eavesdropping on our conversation and three, I still had a bit of hope that one day you'd return. I didn't think that you'd come" you say truthfully. The night was making you vulnerable when answering his questions.

"I always asked my mum how you were doing when I called her, you know? I wanted to check up on you without doing so myself. I'd ask her to give you a pop tart because I knew they were your favourite"

Even though he was still far away, he still had kept you in his mind the same way you did for him.

You got home and stayed at the door before you took him by the shoulder and said, "Let's go out together and have fun". He gives you a soft smile and watches you go in before he retires to his own home.

The following day, you're waiting for him to come. You had tried to dress up for the date but didn't want to underdress or overdress since he hadn't told you where you were going. So you decided to wear a simple sundress and made yourself look nice. He arrived wearing something as casual as you in a car.

"Is this your dad's?" you questioned.

"Yup, I borrowed it to take you out,” he says and winks at you. You shake your head laughing and get in the passenger seat and he drives.

“Where are we going?” you ask, curious.

“You’ll see when we get there” you don’t respond but wind down the window and feel the wind on your face which makes you smile.

You catch Jake glancing at you while he’s driving and he doesn’t even try to hide it. “At least try to pretend you’re not starting”

“I can’t help it, you’re so pretty” This kid, he was making it too easy for you to fall for him.

“Do you still like me, Jaeyun?” you inquire.

“I do,” he said with certainty. Has he always been this bold? You don’t say anything and continue to look out so he reaches over and takes one of your hands in his while he uses his other one to drive. You look at him but just continue doing what you’re doing.

“You might not believe me but I mean it,” he says, lightly squeezing your hand as a form of reassurance.

He stops the car at an aquarium and you both come out. You have a wonderful time and although people recognize him and are surprised to see him with you, they don't say anything and leave you alone. You smiled that day more than you had ever smiled before.

"The fishes look good to eat" you whisper in his ear and he playfully smacks your arm and jokes.

"You monster! How can you say that!?" to which you jokingly shrug.

After the aquarium, he takes you to a flower field. "I did my research this time so I don't give you a wrong flower." He picked up a primrose and says, "I know this one means love is eternal so I'm giving it to you because no matter the distance between us, our love will be forever"

You feel warm this time and know that even if he were to leave again, the distance wouldn't matter because together, you both could overcome anything.

"You're all I need" you manage to say.

"When did you get all sentimental?" he teases and you chase after him in the flower field. When you get tired, you lie down on the grass and he lays next to you. Your hands find his hands amid all the grass and you squeeze it. Unknowingly, you fall asleep next to him.

The next weeks that follow include you two bonding and Jake having fun and being relaxed. He was able to write a song but wouldn't let you see the lyrics, saying it wasn't something he wants you to see yet. You met his parents and thanked his mum for taking care of you indirectly and conversed with his dad too. You could tell that he hadn't forgotten any of the values his parents had thought him. He grew up surrounded by a lot of love so he had more than enough to give.

He also met your parents and he was nervous even though you had tried to reassure him that they wouldn't do anything to him. Your father tried to act scary but deep down you knew he had a soft spot for him. Your mom was showering with more affection than she gave you and Jungwon tried stylishly asking him for his celebrity crush numbers.

"Jake, since you're dating my friend can you link me up with Han Sohee? You've worked with her before, help a friend out"

"I'll ask her but no promises" Jungwon was so happy the entire day.

A few days before Jake had to go back because his hiatus was over, you both were talking about how things would be while baking muffins.

"Y/N don't think I won’t talk to you when I go because I can already see the gears turning in your head."

"Pass me the butter Jaeyun"

"Are we back to the first-name basis? Call me the sweet names" he whined.

"Just pass the butter babe" and he passes it instantly.

"Now back to what you were saying, I know you won't forget me obviously and if you try I I can always take a flight to get to you." You tell him. You weren't going to wait around for him anymore. If you missed him, you'd go see him if he was unable to come to see you.

"Better, I was already worried," he says and gives you a back hug.

The day he left was bittersweet and you shed a few tears. It took a lot of willpower to not cry in front of him. You didn't want him to leave but you knew that he had a job to get to and you couldn't be in the way of that.

You both regularly kept in touch, calling each other at least twice a week to catch up on what had happened during each other's week. He hadn't told you that he released a new song and you found out through his fanboy Jungwon who was now the self-acclaimed president of his fan club.

"Y/N, have you heard Jake's new solo? I cried to it for an hour straight" You didn't have any time to check what was going on because someone had ordered flowers for their wedding and you had to get them done quickly.

"New solo?" you ask and Jungwon sits you down and plays the song for you. Truth be told, you cried as well. It felt like he was there with you telling you that he'd never change.

You watched the interview and when he was asked about the meaning or person behind the song, he said, "There's someone that I love and I wanted to let her know that no matter how famous I get, I won't ever change and she shouldn't change either". He looked directly at the camera then continued, "You're stuck with me forever".

That night, you called him and cried on the phone to him telling him about how you saw the interview.

"Y/N, you know I care about you" you sobbed even harder.

"I care about you too, forever"

"Forever baby, regardless of the distance"

[mlwritingprompts]

Submitted prompt:

Timebreaker prompt.

TW unreality.

-

"Ladybug watch out!"

In hindsight, Adrien could have tried to defend Ladybug from an akuma that erases people by touching them in a better way than using his body as a shield.

That was the only thought that came to him as the feeling of nonexistence consumed him, feeling not alive, yet not exactly dead either.

He was just... gone from the normal world.

Opening his eyes as the strange sensation disappeared just as it came, he was met with a place where it's completely black.

After a quick inspection, he saw that he can easily see his arms and body even in this darkness, and he can also float in this... world.

There was also no Plagg with him here since he got "killed" in his superhero form.

"Ah, a person came here this time."

His train of thoughts was cut off as a voice he didn't hear before resounded in the black void he was in, and immediately getting tense, he looked around.

He saw a figure of a woman appearing in front of his eyes.

A blond hair in a side ponytail, green eyes, and gentle smile on her face.

Looking at her, Adrien felt something strange, like a knowledge he should know about her, yet...

Yet he couldn't comprehend what it was.

"So, you got to meet me this time? I cannot say that this is a good or a bad thing."

The woman sighed tiredly at that; confusing him even more.

Adrien asked, "Who are you? And why do you look like me?" His bafflement was clear in his tone, picking the similarities between their faces.

She sighed again and talked to him. "Oh, yeah, I still don't exist in your world for you to 'remember' me. I am Emilie Agreste, your mother."

Adrien's shock was blatant in his face.

This woman is his mother?

But he does know his mother's name, and it isn't Emilie, it's...

It is-

Why? Why can't he recall any memory of his mother?

"Or more like, I will be your mother and have your world's past rewritten so I would have existed in there before it began." Emilie stated to him, and Adrien couldn't understand her.

"The world's past will be rewritten? You becoming my mother in the past? Just how can that even happen?"

Emilie looked at him, her face looking resigned. "You don't have to worry about that, as you will forget all of this when Ladybug purifies this akuma, and look, it had already happened."

True to Emilie's word, a wave of ladybugs managed to appear in this dimension, magically "fixing" his existence, his memory of what he just saw erased.

----

Only after he was long gone, did Emilie close her eyes, looking suddenly tired.

"So, for how long will I be put in this place, having to constantly be in fear of having my own personality stripped away for the sake of this stupid Destiny that you have apparently forced on Marinette and my apparently future child Adrien?"

The area around her was silent, yet she heard the answer all the same.

"You are a bunch of horrifying beings, aren't you? You create us to suit your pointless whims, and then shoving us into this atrocious script of yours, binding us by this thing called plot, forcing us to never think for ourselves when you think the so-called romance/drama events are supposed to happen. For how long do you think you can do whatever you want?"

Once more, it was silent.

"But it doesn't really matter to you, does it? You have gotten enough power to create a universe and kept talking about equality and free will, and yet you constantly force those very beings you have created into situations they won't be thrown into if things progressed normally. I have also noticed that this Marinette girl looks suspiciously like someone you Guys know, I am really wondering... How long will it be, until this world you've constantly tried to make seem more fantastic than it is ends up collapsing under it's own inconsistencies? A year in-universe? longer? Shorter?"

She scoffed.

Not that she can see any point since the entire timeline of the universe she was supposed to be a part of is so fragmented it might be easier to have a literal kid write a better one.

"Tell Zoe I am sending my regards. She was not exactly happy about you making her for the sake of having a Better Version of Chloe."

With that, she closed her eyes, and slept, knowing very well that this might be the last sleep she will get in this dimension before her entire being ends up being twisted.

Before her entire character gets retconned into a misogynistic stereotype made to Justify a male villain's love for tormenting people.

[tom-riddle-haunts-me]

Not a new chapter but a mini fic I felt like writing. I'm a little stuck with the "main story", so I hope you'll enjoy this little drabble. I'm warning you, this shit gets sad and ugly.

Abigail 🐍✨

-------------------------------------

Tw: angst, gore, blood

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader

-------------------------------------

It Hurts

"Who are you?"

"What do you mean, Y/n? It's me, I'm... I'm Tom"

"I... I don't know you"

Tom stepped back. Locking eyes with you had never felt so terrifyingly unreal to him.

"Y/n..."

Why you? Anyone. Fate could've taken anyone away from him, but you?

"Oh, Mr Riddle!"

Dumbledore. He would've helped him.

"Professor! Y/n is actin-"

"-our biggest disappointment."

Another step back.

"Who is this, Professor?"

Your voice echoed heavily in his ears, crawling up to his brain and piercing through it like a long blade. A thin, cold metal string slowly lacerating his cerebral matter, a wicked torture that left behind nothing but an even colder nothingness and blood, too much blood. Tom could feel the thick crimson fluid run down his neck, anxiety taking hold of the sticky substance and guiding its goopy drips around his own throat, suffocating the tired wizard.

"Y/n, it's me, IT'S ME."

"Who are you?"

The sound that somehow managed to reach Tom was muffled and eerily calm, almost lifeless. It wasn't your voice. The figure standing in front of him, that was you, he knew it, but he was hearing something else rather than your voice. It was painful listening to such an abomination.

Grotesque. Putrid. Writhing. Cruel words pooling around him.

Far, far away.

"Who are you? Are you okay? You look pale"

As your hand reached his face, Tom couldn't bring himself to melt into your touch as he habitually would. Couldn't you see the blood?

"He's about to die, Y/n."

"Oh... Alone? Like this? I'm sorry"

"Y/n I'm... I'm not dying"

As the teacher withdrew your hand from his face, panic tightened the pressure around his neck. Oxygen was struggling to flow through his lungs, his organs protesting as they were starting to feel the lack of air.

It hurt.

"Can we save him?"

"Yes, but we won't"

"Okay"

Words were failing the usually composed wizard, hopelessly stuck in his guts. His eyes were fixated on his dearest friend, the only person in the entire world who could make him feel something else rather than just anger and bitterness. His loneliness felt a little warmer with her, his thirst for power a little less cruel, his fears a little more bearable. Sitting under their dead tree by the Black Lake was something that brought comfort to him in times of distress, still, it was hard to believe the ones staring at him were those same eyes, the e/c gems that he got used to see smile every time they were to meet with his. In the mean time, your hugs were crumbling into mere memories in the back of his mind and Tom felt powerless for the first time since forever. Now the orphanage would be cold and desolate again, silence would come back to fill his empty room and days.

He needed to stop. Stop thinking, feeling. He hated that. He hated you. He was embarrassed with himself for he shouldn't have perceived such stupid things.

His pale hand traveled to his petrified face.

Tears.

Rotten fury exploded in his stomach like an erupting volcano, resulting in an aberrant sickness disturbing his already devastated self. Now nothing had to matter, not anymore. Not your giggles, not you nervously playing with your hair. What would happen to your smile, the one you had promised was only his, had to be none of his business. Letting it go should've been easy, he knew far too well how to block out anything useless to his goal. His exhausted mind slipped to your now blank eyes, your toneless voice.

You body, barely covered by the white dress you were wearing, looked consumed by a melancholy he couldn't define, deep buried in your eyes, flat and washed-up as much as the pale fabric flowing around you.

His chest stung.

"Tom"

Dumbledore's skinny hand found its way to your shoulder, like a caring parent, yet it had an ugly something in it.

Tom thought about your tone, your real one. He thought about the times it had reassured him, soothed his nerves down. That one time it had slightly raised with boldness to defend him from Dumbledore himself. Your promises. They flowed back like a swollen river. The darkness in your eyes when you declared that you were to come for whoever ever dared to wrong him, now gone. How, how he would've liked to tell you about your beauty. Harmless to sight, dangerous to the reckless. Just like a rose.

His rose.

Twisted sparkles in your eyes, shadows that still felt warm and pure. Innocence.

Horror.

Terror drowned his heart, need overwhelming his confused mind.

Where were you?

Uncertainty danced under his skin.

Not enough. Was he? Evil could never bloom into a rose. Its fruits would rot and fall into darkness, dragging down every little drop of light they'd ever reach.

The hand that was touching you, he hated that. And now, now it was rotting, the meat melting right onto your oblivious self.

Bones.

"Yes, Y/n?"

His tears kept on running dow his face, the skin under the salty guilty stinging while stretching into the smallest, surrendered smile.

You had no idea who he was, didn't you?

Time slowed down in the most excruciating way right before Dumbledore's skin began to shed off of him like a used robe. Dirty, now useless, distressed.

Large wings spread through the thick air of the Dark Forest, Lady Death herself raising up behind Y/n, her delicate face was now painted with a content smile and peaceful tears, mimicking his own.

"It hurts"

Before Tom's mind could gave birth to any sort of though, the Hooded Dame slid back, his beloved rose obnoxiously secured to Her chest in a possessive way. And at the same time they backed away, the ground faded unhurried into nothingness. An abyss was now opening its jaws under Y/n's beaten body, and it started to swallow her whole in slow-motion.

Tom stood frozen, the cruelty of his condition giving him all the time in the universe to process Y/n's flesh breaking into bloody, gruesome chunks, her organs easily finding their way out of her abdomen, down, into the merciless void with a dreadful, wet moan.

Tom threw himself in the emptiness of your end, reaching for the parts of what his delirious mind hoped could be sewed up together again. Was is it losing you that drove him crazy?

Or did the seed of madness just finally bloom in his now blood covered hands?

When did they got stained with crimson?

"Why didn't you save me, Tom?"

"Tom?"

"Tom"

"Tom!"

<TOM!>

The Slytherin's dark eyes shot open only to find e/c ones stare right back at them, red and swollen by tears still freshly oozing down s/c skin.

<What the FUCK, Tom! I couldn't wake you up!>

You felt so broken to his ears. So stressed to his eyes. As your finally sweet tone caressed his hearing again, Tom still found it difficult to move. Reality was just starting to settle in, his brain still processing the gruesome images that'll be now forever carved in his mind. You were screaming at him, but he couldn't hear you.

He looked to the left.

His diary.

Tom was in his dorm room, again, his soulmate straddling him in the most innocent way.

Crying, shaking.

Were you angry at him?

<Malfoy came running in the common room and he was in panic and then I was in panic cause he told me that you wouldn't wake up and kept on screaming so I dashed here and I panicked again and what the fuck Tom, bloody hell I- >

Tom did not have sufficient energies to keep his cold act up. Time was not wasted, and his arms laced around you as fast as possible, bringing you as close to his chest as they could. He'd probably crush your bones at a certain point, still he knew none of you cared, not when you were squeezing him the same way.

<Don't you dare do it again, Riddle. You scared the life out of me.>

He was not aware of his muscles being that tense until that very moment. The second your skin collapsed into his, everything was swept away, like smoke in thin air. The room was empty, the clock on its wall claiming the dead of the night to be the time your scene was playing.

<Malfoy went to Black and Evergreen's room>

You didn't really need to say more. Your body just slipped on the mattress, right beside Tom, letting enough space for his worn out frame to curl up to it. Your fingers began to play with his locks, actually unusually sweaty and almost dry, nothing like his usually silky ones. You'd swear you could feel his shattered mind under your fingertips, if only it was possible you'd seek for its scars and heal them one by one.

If only it was possible.

<Y/n?>

Tom's breath slowed down gradually, just like his heart rate, lulled by the quiet tone you were humming.

<Yes, Tom?>

The clock was almost too loud, you were afraid its ticketing would disturb him. Was keep staring at it enough to silence the noise?

Drowsy murmurs left the young wizard's lips, falling in your lap like dead petals but failing to reach up to your ears.

<Come again?>

You bent over, just a little, at least enough to trace out his confused mutters. It reminded you of your days at the orphanage, when you both were too young and scared. It brought your mind back when Tom used to tell you his secrets, when you were his one and only. When he was still just Tom.

<What... What does it feel to jump into the void?>

H/c hair gently fell over your shoulders as your head found rest on the wall.

Air was cold against your now wet cheeks.

"Can we save him?"

"Yes, but we won't"

The steady rhythm of Tom's chest raising up and down told you he was finally long gone into a gentle slumber, safe from himself.

<It hurts>

[dark9896]

Not what I was expecting [Zapp x Reader]

This little fic was requested by anonymous ♨️

Another day, another social media war on Zapp Renflo. God he was getting tired of these, maybe if he just chilled for a bit. He already had to lay low and let this blow over, maybe [Name] would be up for a trip to the arcade. They never did seem to care what was going on with him, at least not on socials.

Zapp stopped dead in his tracks, why had that been his first thought? He could pull at least five different rebounds that hated his ex. Most of the people he "dated" were catty women eager to show they were better than the rest after all. Why had his first instinct been [Name]?

He shook his head and kept going, he was already going to get an earful from she-b*tch about being late. And being a scum bag. And breaking another poor girl's heart. Zapp groaned, braced for the worse.

This'll work one of these days, Zapp dragged himself off the floor and popped every joint up his spine. A bit of relief after once again attacking the Chief and being swatted away like a fly. '[Name] was usually good at back rubs, maybe I can sweet talk them into it after we hang out.'

Again, Zapp had stopped, perfectly still in the middle of the office. What had gotten into him lately? Sure [Name] was a friend, Zapp would go as far as to say a good friend. But that didn't explain him going straight to that line of thought. Was he just getting protective? Had to be that....right?

There wasn't anyone Zapp really confided in, so he didn't bother thinking about it too much. It still weirded him out though. How often [Name] seemed to cross his mind was unreal. And not something Zapp could pin point as to why.

He didn't even bother entertaining the idea of calling [Name] up. They were probably busy. Instead he just hit a old favorite night club. Loud music, flashing lights, booze strong enough to knock out a horse, just the kind of place Zapp needed right now.

He didn't bother keeping track of his tab, or just how much he was drinking when he noticed you sitting across the joint with a couple other people.

Zapp normally wouldn't be bugged enough to think much of it, you clearly had other friends, but he couldn't help but notice how you really didn't seem to wanna be there. He eased over, ignoring a growing feeling in the pit of his stomach, intent on finding out why you were here of all places.

"Oh come on [Name]! You really need to live a little. Who knows, you might like it."

One of your "friends" was really trying to push you into their bedroom right now, and you just need an excuse to get out of there. You considered calling Zapp back when your "date" bailed last second to chase some long legs in short shorts, but couldn't dial him up fast enough before being dragged to who knows where.

When Zapp heard that however, he immediately stepped up to the table. The uncomfortable look on your face, how badly you were fidgeting, the pushy tone....Zapp knew you were being pressured into something you had long since told him you weren't okay with. And for whatever reason, he was just jealous enough to try and put a stop to it.

"Oh hey." He didn't miss a beat acting like he just noticed you, or couldn't care less, "What's happenin' with you?"

Your friend's face darkened, "They don't need the likes of you hanging around. Why don't you do everyone a favor and get lost?"

Zapp choose to ignore that, though having another person throw that into his face really made him wanna snap.

He almost broke his facade when you stood up, "Ya know, if you don't like my friends, then we aren't really friends. I'm outta here."

Zapp felt a little disappointed hearing you call him a friend, which confused him to hell and back. You two were just friends. Yet he still followed you to the street. Repeating to himself that you two were just friends, and he didn't need to be upset over you saying it.

"Sorry about that." You turned to Zapp, "I wasn't trying to pull you out of there, I just needed to get away."

"Na, don't worry about it." Zapp threw his arm across your shoulders, "Happens all the damn time. Besides, place was gettin' a little boring anyways." He tried to play it cool despite his heart feeling like it was going ninety miles an hour, "Got any hot spots in mind? Night's still young after all."

"If that's suppose to be some kind of flirt code...."

"Naw, naw." Zapp cut you off, suddenly fully aware how that must've sounded, "Just, did ya wanna go anywhere special. Arcade? Movie? There's a half decent club a few blocks from here with a mechanical bull.....unless your scared?"

"Dude, why would I be scared of being tossed into foam covered walls?" Zapp didn't know why seeing you smirk like that made his stomach feel so strange, "Unless you're telling me you're scared?"

"Oh! Me, scared? Twenty bucks says you can't last 3 seconds on that thing!"

"You're on!"

Zapp only barely came to the realization after seeing you grin and playfully flip him off after managing to hold on for 5 seconds. And it worried him. Actually caring about someone else meant he would get hurt, a target on his back and made you a target as well. But it fully explained everything that had been going on. How often he thought about when things were quiet. How damn cute you looked right now. How he really didn't wanna f$^k this up by pushing his limits. Zapp felt sick to his stomach, overcome with an uneasy guilt that wasn't helped by how in love he felt with you. He was honestly terrified, the amount of pressure suddenly crashing around his ears was more sobering than any kind of hang over cure.

"Zapp?" He looked at you, suddenly wanting to get as far away as he possibly could, just to avoid you getting dragged into this....or hurt, "You feeling okay? You look a little pale."

"Its nothing, should probably be heading out." He really couldn't just tell you, not right now. He had to wait and plan....something before just saying that, "Got work first thing tomorrow and being late too many days in a row ya know...."

"Yeah, I gotcha." You really didn't know what was going on, Zapp was never like this......but you figured it was best to leave it, talking things through was never Zapp's strong suit, "I'll catch ya later then."

"Yeah...." Zapp almost let you walk away but...."Hey, on second thought, why don't I walk with ya? It is kinda late and who knows what's waitin' around the alleys, ya know?"

"Uh....yeah sure. If it isn't any trouble."

"Na," Zapp waved your concern off like he was trying to shoo a fly, "Its nothing really."

Zapp was going to have to get used to this, he couldn't very well avoid you until he was ready. Besides, maybe he would be able to say something if he just faced it like a man.

[p0s31don]

Ok so I made some Headcanons about Silver and how I think it would be your first date with him.

( also I recommend you to read it with this song ! )

enjoy it <\3

I think Silver would not like noisy places at all. I suppose his ideal date would be in a quiet place, like a beach in the evening.

On the first date both of you were sitting on the beach, and while you caress the sand to entertain anxiety you already knew that he feels quite embarrassed and since he doesn’t really understand his feelings of him towards you, he tries to explain them to you. While he explain, he begins to get nervous and clench his fists, and get even more confused.

once he finished he looked at you trying to find an answer, but since he doesn't like having too much eye contact with you, he hides his desperate gaze in his arms looking at the horizon of the sea.

the silence had become too heavy. You don't know why but from Silver's words you felt a certain suffering, as if no one had given him the love he needed. It is as if he did not recognize affection or love towards something in general, which is why he was very confused, he was afraid of becoming too attached to someone or something. He did not want to experience the feeling of abandonment again, after all it was also this that had raised him and that made him a cold person.

suddenly Silver leans slightly on your shoulder, and you can feel him tremble slightly, he has the nervousness to the top. He didn't understand nothing of what it was happening around him.

you tried to console him by placing your head lightly next to his too. At first he seemed hesitant about this gesture, he didn't know whether to reject it or stay close to you.

and that's why for too much hesitation, Silver turns abruptly to you, with that hard look he always has but this time he seemed to have lost almost all the coldness he had, he seemed to have shining eyes, I'm not saying he was about to cry but maybe it was the emotion, perhaps he didn't even believe the words he had said.

he grabs your shoulders and gives you a really strong hug that looks like he was going to break your ribs, but it was so short that even if he put all the strength in this world into it it would never be enough for you. And while you were about to tell him how much you cared for him, he breaks the silence whispering in your ear "you better stay away from me, you know we are rivals."

in that hug you could feel his heartbeat how fast it was, Silver was very agitated and you have never seen him reduced in that way. In that moment you could feel his loneliness ,how lonely he could have been all this time and how he had to go through life without someone who loved and gave him affection.

you wanted to grab his shoulders, caress his soft red hair and tell him that you were there for him now, and that it didn't matter how long he was alone, or how long he suffered, because you would be there by his side and help him always and you will always be by his side.

but that moment was so beautiful, so surreal, it didn't seem to be true, it was so unreal that you didn't even pay attention to his words "you better stay away from me ..." why? why Silver didn't want me to stay by his side?.

He had always said that, he never needed help. He knows how to live alone, with himself. Maybe you were just a burden to him? That's what you thought.

True, he does not need help, he is mature enough to make important decisions for himself and manage his life, but he has never had a person who has helped him to learn to love what is around him.

He pulled away from your arms very quickly, and in that little second you could see his face, with a look never seen before, he was looking down, he had a dull look, he didn't have that strong light in his blue eyes anymore. He didn't want to get away from you in any way possible but he had to, he was constantly afraid of the thought that if he got too attached to a person he would soon abandon him.

you loved Silver's coldness, but you didn't know he was such a lonely person.

He began to run as fast as he could. You wanted to chase him, but you knew it would be useless. Did you break or rekindle something in him? It was better to leave him alone now, it was up to him to figure out what to do.

no matter how far he ran, you would always follow him in whatever choice he made. You must rekindle what Silver has lost over time, the strength to love even a simple thing, and not trying to hide his feelings.

You loved Silver from the bottom of your heart, and probably he did the same, but it will take some time before he realizes the sentiment of love without suffering.

that’s the first time i post some hc here on tumblr be kind <\3

I would probably post more in these days <33

[littobin]

sprung

genre: suggestive romantic stuff, with a tiny bit of angst

pairing: tattooist!moonbin x reader.

warnings: none ? just a minimal language, and kinda heavy making out... yeah

- summary: sanha, the well known skater, had an older brother. and maybe his best friend y/n was too in love to proper think.

a/n note: this is kinda long and emo, it's just my first time writing in this genre so hfjbfn sorry in advance. gender neutral, also for a special friend who encouraged me to post on her birthday. planning on do stuff for the other boys soon. :)

...

[1:02AM]

putting a bit of effort into it you open your eyes, tired after waking up from what felt like a long nap.

your head still was unsettled, confused, looking around the place you found yourself at. by some point then you manage to recognize the living room and the nice sofa on which you were lying, such things from nothing less nothing more than the comfy, simple house of your best friend, sanha.

honestly no matter how much you tried to recall it on your mind, nothing reminded you of what could have happened for you to wake up there. despite how it was already one habit of yours to often visit this house where the tall, half black half blonde haired boy used to greet you in with his bubbly smile several times, and of course with his extra peculiar style, ripped pants, bandaids and chaotic printed t-shirts you always thought to be funny.

to be friends with a professional skater since high school days wasn't so bad, after all sanha was indeed one of a kind, such a mature and high spirited boy. he was such a nice goofball, always ready to talk about any topic, share taste on music or learn new things, the actual opposite of what people say about someone like him. sanha has always been an amazing friend, making you feel comfortable and your days a lot lighter every time you went to see him after dealing with responsibilities.

whether your short visits were to spend some time for both of you to help each other with things about studies or just when you missed spending time with him, you were already a common guest. for textbooks and notes purposes or for when it'd all turn into laughs, popcorn and your best friend's favorite games, or even in skate competitions he used to bring you with him at the square down street.

or else, when you'd also come to secretly see the black haired handsome man always on his casual clothes living there with your friend, who at the time he was home would stay sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes doing his works outside at the small desk near the garden, sometimes practicing sketches in his own room.

sanha introduced him as his older brother bin, who unlike him was a lover of all kinds of arts. whom you shouldn't pay so much attention to, but before your mind could go against it all of your thoughts were just as they ended up. constantly filled with him, with the need to see him everyday.

however now instead of going on trying to figure out any other possibilities to what could've brought you there, or even letting your thoughts wander over sanha's brother again, you hear calm footsteps approaching and immediately close your eyes, burying yourself on the sofa's recline. there you pretend to be still asleep, yet not understanding why your first reaction was like this, if it could be just your best friend.

for a few minutes the atmosphere remains monotonous, but soon enough turns tense as you feel someone come too close. two strong muscular arms embrace you carefully, bringing a sweet smell of shampoo you instantly could recognize so well. since the time when, in a game match with your best friend and his brother, both you and sanha attacked him with tickles for being the loser, as a form of punishment. you'd never forget it, for how it was your very first time hearing bin's boyish giggles, and touching his so silky, smooth hair, like a thin fabric tinted by the late night hues.

all of this together sent your heart pounding madly, already knowing who was there with you, especially when his jaw's downy skin brushes against your face for the proximity. at first he made a kind of awkward attempt to put you into his arms, in a position you could be carried comfortably. after one more try he gets to pick you up, and just when he easily manages to hold you firmly in bridal style, taking you off the couch like a light plush on his arms, nervousness started taking over you in silence as you couldn't assimilate where he planned to carry you to.

albeit a bit sudden at times and without much control of his own strength, except when you saw him drawing extremely detailed lines with his tattoo needle for customers at the studio he worked in, to where once sanha took you to bring him lunch, albeit he was too broad and intimidating, and his own homemade food didn’t always come out good for that little rough way of his no matter how hard he tried to do something thinking of you and sanha, albeit it all bin was always too gentle, too loving. it was so much whenever he'd open his mouth to talk with such sweetness and even a tiny bit of timidity to express his thoughts, even though how excellent he is with words, all of his little 'eh?'s when he'd be confused or cute neck scratches, you'd never believe he'd be a professional tattooist for years. he could normally work for all kinds of people, from madams to rockers, and do any type of drawings, from small daises to pretty complicated dragons and skulls. you'd have no clue of it if sanha didn't tell you, also about the fact bin always wanted to be a dancer, but because it was just the two of them and life tends to adapt itself according to necessities, he never thought about doing tattoos, yet casually came to work on it with time.

outside his job bin always took good care of his younger brother, though the troubles sanha would occasionally cause or how mischievous he could be even with him, and bin had to hit his head sometimes. all of his gestures were always docile, humble, treating you as if he was also a friend, and always being a real gentleman. not mentioning the countless times he had his crescent moons smile on up his eyes, just utterly enchanting.

all of this inevitably got you even more lovestruck, and your heart weak, no matter how hard you tried to muffle down those feelings. bin remained as the only man whose your mind and its daydreams for hours never grew tired of, the only one who gave new colors to your days. the more you knew him the more you were sure you couldn't be in any other way than hopelessly in love with him, too affected whenever he'd be around.

before you'd notice it you were thinking about this, about all you kept hidden inside for him. so you just settled yourself to forget what would be going on and let him believe you were really asleep, although in fact tension ran down your nape feeling his body's warmth, heat uncontrollably up your face while you leaned against his large chest.

after a few minutes of more footsteps sounds on stairs and doors opening through he carried you, bin stops at a certain point, slowly placing you carefully over another soft material, which you deduced to be of a bed.

you held yourself static, thinking he'd soon leave you there to rest and go, as you figured out sanha's brother probably would do so by his cordiality. nevertheless almost all at once you were simply taken aback when the male leaned on the bed, and slowly on top of you. his elbows and one knee supported him over, in such a way that made you too weak under his figure covering yours up, as if he was like a huge brown bear in charge. shivers hardened your shoulders, as you feel a heavier breath against your face.

"i know you're awake." he says softly, yet his characteristic boyish voice sounding way huskier than normally. you instantly open your eyes in disbelief over what you've heard, and just so your cheeks turns crimson, realizing how both of you were just few centimeters apart. his stunning almond eyes sparkled brightly into the room, dark and hooded while staring deeply at you. every one of his features on his manly face were lined on a serious expression, seeming concentrated, but almost fatal.

"bin.." all you could do was just mutter his name sheepishly over embarrassment, only to get a sigh from him in response. "shh..." his index finger lightly touches your mouth, tracing its tip to the corner of your lips, your hands starting to sweat cold just by the small contact with his digits.

bin then suddenly towered over you, without removing his intense brown irises from yours and rests his arms around your face, so his long fingers would now caress your hair. solely in this move his body quickly cornered you on the bed by his height. butterfly swarms rush into your stomach, as for a few minutes both of you kept quiet, staring intently at each other.

you swallowed hard. any trivial action like breathing now seemed dull, with him there so close to you as never. bin was like the definition of being drop dead gorgeous, every detail, every fiber of him exuded beauty, to almost seem unreal. through these few seconds watching him you couldn't keep your eyes from wandering, over each one of them. his thin, dainty rosy lips, which looked a little swollen, begging for another one's touches. black hair strands resembling the universe's dark matter hovering messy on his slightly sweaty forehead, and over his expressive frowned eyebrows. soft, milky skin which became a little more flushed as he stared at you, thick neck exposed by his t-shirt colar, wide shoulders covered by his cardigan tucked on his elbows.

oh everything about him was, so breathtaking.

although you couldn't understand why he was doing this, for how in your head you wondered why such an attractive man like him, who anyone would want to have, was there looking this way at someone so simple, still you couldn't hold back such things he made you feel. too many things screaming for you to let them out. and it was just the same for him.

"you know what.. damn it.." you heard bin break down the silence with a shaky whisper, and before you'd realize or question anything he placed your noses together in a soft brush and collided your lips with his eagerly, both of you sighing in the contact.

fear still was the main emotion taking over you, even though you closed your eyes right away and gave in to him, millions of beautiful sensations coursing through your veins at once. you simply didn't have any idea on how to act, what you should do in the first place all because of the frozen state his attitude caused, something you'd hardly come up with in your dreams by how far out of your reach you thought it'd be. however now you just put everything aside, gradually melting away with your knees getting weaker, as you felt bin kissing you in an irresistibly slow, delicate way.

not even through any of your deductions with yourself you'd imagine these little things which had your heart to almost explode now, that his nose would be so soft, and his lips would taste so sweet, velvety in their texture extremely hot and moist, pressing and moving gently as if they were massaging yours. easily you were found anesthetized, like one who reaches the ninth cloud. when they started to move more, just a bit hungrier between small sucks created by him and nibblings on your lower lip, you began to gradually further correspond them into the kiss, wherein he lets out quiet sounds, his pulsations so out of control and his cheeks burning red just as, or perhaps even more than you.

bin was still trying to not lose his composure. still trying to keep the feelings he had hidden for you from being all poured out at once, like a waterfall.

since the first time when sanha introduced you to him as his best friend, after he came home from a rough day at work. since then when you smiled saying your name and he could sense flowers blooming all over his chest, stealing the air on top of his lungs. to every time you locked eyes for too long or your hands accidentally touched his when you'd volunteer to help him in the kitchen. every little conversation, every time you patted his shoulders to encourage him when his brother would as well, never looking intimidated, like most people he knew.

he didn't want to show each drop of his honesty so fast in case you wouldn't flinch, but it was too hard when he had you there kissing him back, only the two of you in this moment, feeling you not repress him but otherwise, just wanting his touches as much as he's been longing for yours. he couldn't help but lose his mind more and more into each of your small actions. your hands timidly plugged on his waist, almost embracing it while his warm, long fingers intertwined with your hair strands, that somes mixed a little in his bangs, or your leg unconsciously poking his. in a way that without noticing bin tightened his arms more around you as well as the pressure of his chest, looking for more and more closure to you.

it didn't take long until the male would part his lips like a bud's petals, and so you shudder with his hot tongue there rubbing your lower lip, asking for entrance. you just give in not even being able to think through all the flustering this new sensation sent on you, and bin slowly deepened the kiss, making it fulfilled by all the so suffocated attachment you had for each other.

little by little his tongue slides in intertwining with yours, as the first thing hitting you was the fresh flavor of his chocolate mint cereal bar, which you were used to always see on bin's hands or pockets, and it just added an even better feeling through you explored his mouth. plenty more touches come up between the two of you so that the male, after staying still in the same position for a little while, suddenly slides one of his arms down. his huge veiny hand grips firmly and gives light squeezes on your side what caused you to jump a few times, running it down in a path of pure shivers to your hips, until he catches your hand still on his waist and without any previous warning pulls it in, under his shirt.

air immediately hitched on your throat out of shock, but bin was immersed, focused on only feeling you more. in the intervals his tongue's tip traced your mouth tilting his head for access, and when he brought it back so he'd press and gently suck your lips with his, the male kept the pace guiding your hand on his large back. slowly he also brought it down to the point of his firm, built up abdomen, which caused chills on himself, and moved your palm to make contact with the warmth of his absurdly soft, fragile bare skin inside the fabric. uncontrollable pulsations took over you the moment you get access to this new touch, your head in a fog of only bin.

this one was indeed a little different from the docile person you knew, with his contagious smile behind gloves and a tattoo needle you were so used to see. instead bin showed to be such an intense man, and why not say sexy, full of alluring gestures you didn't know how to handle, solemnly irresistible. over an impulse you make up a little of courage and start moving your hands by yourself, caressing and feeling his muscles, that have always been apparent on his manly athletic body, as each of his proportions under the shirt.

"god.." he suddenly said under his breath in a way sounding too sensual from his gracious, still husky voice among the kiss, melting completely in sensitivity and a cardiac mess because of you. bin then pressed a few more pecks a few more times on your lips, not wanting to pull away but doing so already for running out of air, through both of you parted trying to catch it.

yet you fail miserably, as soon as you see your best friend's brother face, completely flushed and breathless. his coffee colored eyes dripped fondness and loads of tiny stars all together, eyebrows pressed in such a lovely, affectionate expression you swore you never saw anything so endearing in your life. if it wasn't for another beat skipping your chest when you noticed a small amount of saliva, that you could clearly define as traces of the wonderful kiss of a few seconds ago, in the corner of his mouth.

as soon as he notices your widened eyes, bin's face changes and he cleans it by licking his lips seductively, as if he knew how much it affected you. the cardigan he wore falls from over his shoulders and he removes the cloth piece, dropping it on the floor. a small smile sprouted on his captivating features when he looks over at you watching him, as he lowered himself to your neck, putting his lips near your ear.

"keep going.." bin closed his eyelids, feeling the characteristic and comforting smell of fabric softener on your clothes. this smell which he always had on his memories from that day he shyly hugged you on your birthday, that now made him ask sweetly into whispers for your hands on him again, pressing more of his fine body and chest against yours.

his hips suddenly rolled down in a slow move, stimulating waves of electricity and adrenaline onto your stomach, your state now broke into sighs. you squeezed his waist slightly and involuntarily, moved by your latent feelings as he nuzzled against your neck, like a fluffy cat purring. bin was panting still heavily, sending incessant shivers down your spine.

"bin... you.. you're too much.." losing any lasting control over yourself you buried your face deeply on his shoulder and grabbed his huge biceps, letting out any first thing that would come out of your mind.

he smiled against your skin with a muffled chuckle, light and content for how cute you sounded to him, what got you even weaker as well as over the moisturizer perfume on his exposed collarbones by his shirt, before you went to fulfill his request. soon enough your palms were all over his muscular back once more, massaging them in up and down movements. bin took time to appreciate the feeling of having you into his arms, touching your hair, your nape, your lower back, or your cheeks where he decided to put gentle, tender kisses, that got you forgetting even more about the destination of your fingers under his shirt.

they ran all over his torso, sides, down to his beautiful abdomen once again to trace trembling patterns with your fingers under his stomach, running them up to reach the area of ​​his chest, where you accidentally touch one of his nipples. bin stopped when he felt the stimulus, letting what sounded like a frustrated moan resonate in response, and you move your hands right away. yet you didn't expect him to feel so flustered to the point of, having his weight against you, to this time start distributing wet kisses, full of desire onto your neck and jaw.

in the middle of them bin took pauses where he sucked some of your skin to mark it slightly, or moistened each sensitive spot he left with the way too warm texture of his tongue. his hands also return to be entirely over you, one putting stronger, breath taking grips and squeezes on one side of yours as the other entered under the hem of your sweatshirt, his thumb touching your belly's area. each thing he did left you helplessly more and more of a mess for him, while his hips gave another roll once again in an enticing motion, causing you to feel an inevitable friction you tried to ignore but his moves only made it harder and harder, between his thighs wrapped tight by his jeans and yours pressed in the middle of his from jumping so much with his touches.

"sanha, saw you fell asleep, and asked me to take you to a room.. i went to see you and heard, you mutter my name.. saying that you wanted to have me..." for a moment, your eyes widen in realize, and finally you get how you were there.

your mind gets back remembering how sleepy you were before you'd come to see sanha, something which was again the result of another pulled night thinking about life, studies, and about bin constantly, about how incredible would it be if you had the courage to confess to him. but before you could even die of embarrassment for letting your dreams go too high right at your bestfriend's house, right next to him, bin slowly brings another trail of his warm kisses up your neck, eliciting quiet whimpers from you this time, especially when he stroked your waist skin inside your sweatshirt and reached for your earlobe, instantly capturing it in his mouth to suck on the small cartilage.

"do it now.. do whatever you want." you heard him confess with a bit of difficulty on his tone, for the much any response from you for now would mean to him. therefore he stopped, pulling away as he looked at you with sad traces, insecure.

bin needed to know about you, to get a reassurance from you, one more time of you expressing fully whether you were in love with him as much as he was with you to let yourself stay with him more, or if not, as hard as it could be he'd stop there, despite how reciprocal everything was from your side. he didn't want just a make out with you.

uncertainties still bothered him inside, through several sleepless nights spent on his room's desk among all his draft drawings and work notes, but thinking of the stupid, probably one sided attachment he developed for you, growing everyday because of how regularly he could see you. way too quickly you stole a space on his heart, bigger than the passion for art and colorful designs his job gave him. even when his needle did its work putting on pigment, when he found himself alone before a customer would come, he often wondered about what you'd feel, if you saw him only as your best friend's brother, if it'd be too risky to try and tell you what he felt.

there wasn’t one moment in 24 hours all of this didn't cross bin’s mind for once as the days went by, but he was too afraid of being rejected, to the point of thinking his brother could have much more chances with you. though he left all these things aside when he finally heard you demonstrating something for him as simple as saying his name on your sleep was, losing it all while he held you on his arms.

and so you knew you had to get all that fuss of feelings off your chest at once before the chance slipped from your hands. before you had no option but to go back to your routine of sinking in sighs about what could have been, wanting to be in his arms for a day, when you wanted it to be always.

taking a second to comprehend his eyes you raised your arms around the middle of his back to caringly engulf him on them. it caused bin to unhesitatingly lower himself again, resting his chin on your shoulder and hold onto your lower back, his heart rushing loudly, unsure by your action.

"i want what you want, love.." you confessed as well, still feverish for his previous caresses. then you just rested your face on his shoulder, and with all the sincerity within your heart you tightened your arms in a hug, trying to show your intention of making him feel exactly this, your simple embrace.

love.

as he heard you clearly when you hugged him, the moment you loosened the grip bin pulled his body a little away to look at you again. his serene, loving eyes flickered until they were deeply on yours, oceans overflowing with hope and anticipation into them. "did you say.. love?"

"yes, i.. always wanted to call you like that. can i?" your knees flutter with your own question, just by the idea of ​​being able to call him as something that in so long would describe him so well for you.

bin, however, sighed till the bottom of his lungs, both now filled as everything within into a magical warmth, through every inch of his longing feelings were complete over his exhale. he wondered if he was dreaming, if this was finally the pure and graceful joy of touching clouds, or the lightness of blowing dandelions to the wind, of knowing that you felt the same, despite how he still couldn't believe it at all.

"you're so cute, i adore you so much y/n. if you say it like that, i'll be addicted to you.." the male's palm comes back to find itself cupping your cheeks, as his fingertips against your ear. once again you watch his fascinating gaze and face too close to yours, his irises, his lips to his shoulders, as if it turned into a new habit which would give you life. his voice sounds honeyed, like a blanket on winter, yet intimate, breathy.

almost as an immediate response you blinked repeatedly at the main three words on his first sentence, as of it didn't take long until you blushed violently trying to proccess everything, surprising bin while you placed your wrists at your nose's level to hide your face. you were now too caught up on a mixture of inexplicable waves of euphoria and emotions hitting you, too overwhelmed at all of these extremely heartfluttering things he just said so naturally. god, indeed he was too much to handle, but he still was your favorite.

"don't do this, fool! i adore you too.. a lot.." with your wrists still there your embarrassed expression only increase as you let out, but soon you moved them aside when the sound of his soothing laugh echoed into your ears. "wow.. i guess i'm the happiest fool now."

bin was smiling widely, grinning, perhaps in the most angelic, genuine way among all the days you've seen him do through routine. the crescent moons forming his beaming eyes harmonized as his lashes half closed with the curves on his lips up, giving room for two light dimples, forehead aligned with yours, emotions all over that you still couldn't read, as of relief and affection at the same time on his details. to hear him laughing in a tender and so spontaneous tone, his body seeming relaxed, comfortable, and to be a part of it almost like watching stars at midnight, all of this also made you smile along with him.

without being able to express too many feelings at once or what you'd like to say to him now you simply place your fingers against his face, the small, gelid earring on his ear, touching his bangs between them dearly, as if he'd be made of crystalline glass. another silence raised as you both kept looking at each other, like the night stopped passing around you, until bin draws another small smile and breaks the short distance again.

you took a deep breath, grabbing a certain spot on his shirt when you feel all the coziness of his thin lips pressing more kisses on different points of your face all slowly. on the area next to your nose where he placed the most of them, or on your mouth as he initiated another sweet, luscious round of lips on lips, pulling you closer and closer by your lower back, which seemed to be his best choice for a comfort zone.

but it doesn't take long for his attention to turn back to your neck, stopping to scan and softly trace his thumb on the small crimson hickeys he left there.

"some of them, look like tattoos... sorry, i.." bin whispered, trying to explain himself somehow embarrassed, but gets interrupted by you taking the initiative to hold on his back and get closer.

there you bury your face on his neck and kiss him gently, under his jaw to the beginning of his collarbones, as of every inch of his velvety skin flushed hot and sensitive in goosebumps where you explored. still being a bit taken aback bin shut his lashes and rested his cheeks now tinted in shades of pinkish hues against yours, disarmed by your suddenness. the more he felt your timid lips going so intimate on him, the more unrestrained beats and pantings had the best of him at that moment, bin no longer being able to maintain the same calm. you always had that power to leave him like that, definitely. the only one who ever did.

"there's something i always wanted.. but first tell me, if you want me by your side." one of his thick arms hug your waist, a barely audible moan escaping through he said out without thinking at all, just letting himself upon your guidance, locked on your touches.

the moment you proccess bin's words and what they'd mean your fingers slip from curling the silky strands at his nape, also leaving the curve of his shoulder where you planted more confident kisses, as if by magic your heart was sent on another unbalanced marathon. did he really ask it?

"of course.. of course i do." you answered his doubt with your whole chest, and it was all he ever waited to have you saying.

bin didn't know what exactly made him feel so lost on everything about you, wishing to stick to your side more and more. but he knew it was such a thing way too heavenly for him to not want to dive deep in. one drink, or a way too pure cup of water on thirsty times he'd last there appreciating till the last drop, a room wherein he'd feel better than in any other, or even a necklace he'd carry on himself everyday, a permanent tattoo.

any way it all should be, he wouldn't care. as of the moment he heard you a smile flourished across the corners of his lips again, and in a matter of minutes he held your sides pulling you with him as he sat back among the sheets, placing you onto him all too fastly and strongly in a way you had to look for support by putting your trembling palms on his chest.

you were left once more in a loss of words, swallowing hard over another wave of butterflies when you found yourself held sitting on his lap and facing him, through he gave you such a dangerously charming, sexy smirk, gaze so intense it almost knocked you dizzy like you never thought to be. yet less even would you imagine he'd strip off his t-shirt right in front of your eyes, and reveal his toned, absolutely perfect torso, all of his muscles there totally exposed from collarbones to his lower abdomen, where a black butterfly spreading its wings showed up printed on his skin at his side. bin just let your shocked eyes hover on the sight of his whole sculptural half naked body, before he'd glue your foreheads and squeeze your sides excitedly, also giving attention to your right thigh caressing and gripping it with his other hand through he adjusted you on his lap.

"everything i want is us, y/n..."

he couldn't wait to throw aside his stupid composure with you.

[prodigal-son-reborn]

(Copy pasting something from my Googledocs. This is for Chronicle Timeline Florian where he's s caitiff now and Viktor got ghouled (tho Florian knows NOTHING about the problems of doing that) not that it's made the biggest difference, they were already p hopelessly in love to begin with. And Viktor is p strong willed, luckily.))

Florian rolled over -- dawn was fast approaching and he knew it would drag him down into sleep soon enough.  The last month had been… it should have been difficult, painful, confusing… it was, in fact, all of those things but it was also one of the best months of his life so far. As he rolled onto his side, he felt warm arms wrap around him, felt a face pressed into the place where his neck and shoulder met.

"Still awake?"  Viktor asked quietly. "You're usually asleep by now…"

The past month had been what he had dreamed of for the past two years being with Viktor -- it was the life he pretended they were living during those weekends sequestered in each other's apartments where they had eaten breakfast together and spent every moment they could just reveling in the freedom they felt in these private places. In the ability to just exist without any worry of being found out…

Sure, he didn't need to eat breakfast and he didn't wake up until after dark now but… it wasn't just a weekend any more. It was all the time. Every morning he laid down to sleep and he was in Viktor's arms. Viktor was often gone when he woke up but the evenings when he woke to find him still asleep were like heaven. He had wanted this so very badly for so long. It didn't matter to Florian that he was, technically, dead or that he needed to subsist on blood now. None of it mattered because the person he cared about most was with him. Every day. 

"Mm. I was just...thinking." Florian replies, smiling. "This…sometimes I can't believe it's real. I can't believe this is every morning…" 

He remembers the confession so long ago-- Florian hadn't said the words then but he's sure that Viktor had understood what he'd meant. That when he said "I want to wake up next to you, I want to make you coffee in the mornings, I want to be the one you come home to, to be the one you trust" that he meant "I love you". That the words were hard to make come out but… he could show it in other ways. And he said it regularly enough now… He hoped it made up for the last two years.

Viktor smiled at Florian sleepily. "You used to talk about how much you wanted that… All the time."

Florian laughs softly. "I know. I did not think I could ever have this -- that we would ever fall asleep together every night."

"It's every morning though, isn't it?"

"You know what I mean… I get to fall asleep next to you every time I go to sleep. We get to live together for more than just a weekend when you're not busy… or I'm not." Florian's smile grew. "It feels so unreal. But it's not. The only downside is we have so many roommates."

"Do you not like them?"

"No, no -- I do.  I just mean well… I miss being able to lay naked in your arms in the living room like we did in your apartment." Florian grinned. "I don't think that the rest of the house wants to see me naked… and I don't want them to."

Viktor's eyes were focused on him, a smirk on his face now. "Have you given up on your exhibitionism, then? No more getting drunk and stripping your clothes off in front of the entire bar?" 

Florian snorted. "I have been trying to be more responsible, you know. And I haven't gotten drunk in a while… at least, not that drunk." It wasn't like he fed exclusively from Viktor or anything -- he still had to find other men to drink from and sometimes, they were a little bit drunk. Sometimes he got a little bit drunk. But it was never like it used to be -- whether death had matured him or the extra steps just made it too much of a pain in the ass, Florian didn't seem to have it in him to seek out those altered states as much…

He didn't feel like he needed to any more. He still wanted to sometimes. But the keen edge of pain that used to be there… that had been dulled. Of course, Florian had never noticed it before -- had never realized how empty and hurt he felt all the time before. It was only now that the feeling was gone that he was ai.p.oware of its presence… Like a bloodstain left on his psyche long after the body had decayed away.

" I noticed… You've been… I think you've seemed happier."

"How could I not be? I have you every night! I have you here in my arms right now I…"

"You don't have to hide anything with your new friends. Or even try to. You smile more. Real smiles. They look good on you."

Florian stared at him for a long moment -- had it been obvious? Had everyone been able to see that pain except for him? Viktor seemed more at ease too, at least when they were in the haven. That tense, trap about to be sprung quality was only present when they were out now -- or when Viktor first came back from doing work for the family.

He liked it -- to see that constant wariness relax more. That had been one of his favorite things about the weekends they spent holed up in one or the other's apartment. The way that, once they were really alone and no one could see them or hurt them, Viktor finally relaxed. It made him happy in a way little else did. 

Florian scoffed. "Oh come on, I smiled for real before."  He looked over his shoulder, half rolling onto his back. "You seem more relaxed, though…"

"You're not making as many stupid decisions." 

Florian gasped, bringing a hand to his chest in mock offense. "Please, I am making just as many stupid decisions as I ever have."

"Name one."

"...I'll think of one eventually." 

"Exactly." Viktor smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he placed a soft kiss on Florian's lips. "And you're safe here. Your friends wouldn't let anything happen to you and they're also kind of terrifying."

Florian reached out, running his fingers through Viktor's hair. "Yes, I know. You've mentioned this before... I'm still amazed anyone scares you..."

He let his words trail off. It wasn't exactly true -- he knew there were plenty of people and things that scared Viktor. If there werent, he wouldn't always be so tense, so on guard. A long moment of silence dragged on and Florian could feel the sun rising -- a heaviness of his eyelids, a sudden fogginess in his head...

"Go to sleep, Flor." Viktor said, leaning against Florian, his lips pressed to his forehead. "I'll let you make dinner for me when you get up."

Florian gave a soft smile. "Mmm good. I'll try... not to fuck it up... like last time... Love you..."

[yeongwvnhi]

》만나다《

Supernatural creatures AU

Taglist (send an ask if you want to be added): @twancingyunhoe @vickylamore @glxwingstar @se0--0ho @seohospepe

Genre: angst!!, fluff, suggestive

Rating: 16+

General Warnings: Supernatural creatures (vampires, werewolves etc), blood, violence, weapons, language, death, poisoning and just dark themes in general.

Chapter Specific Warnings: mentions of a funeral and a mortuary,talking about death, blood and talking about internal bleeding, needles, refusing to eat (mentioned once), talking about cause and time of death (mentioned once), mentions of a lack of anatomical activity, lots of crying lol

Pairing: ONEUS x fem reader 》 choose your ending

Synopsis: somehow you came back to life just about a day after dying, scaring the poor guys who work at the mortuary one late night as you flee, not knowing where to go before they found you.

Word count: 3k [thanks to @moongaera for beta-reading <3]

–> for reference: Y/N - Your Name,, N/N - Nickname

》Previous《 》Next《 》Masterlist《

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"Hyung, stop thinking about what could have been" Leedo interrupts the sorcerer's train of thoughts. "I know what you're thinking and it's not your fault. No one is mad at you for failing. You tried your best" 

Seoho remains silent and Leedo sighs, the two of them making their way back to their residence. 

"Oh you're ba- What happened?!" The owner of the house greets them first, almost losing it at the smell of blood and the way the two men's hands are covered in the now dark red/brown-ish substance. 

"Seoho Hyung was asked to try and save someone, but turns out the poor girl got so heavily poisoned he was powerless" Leedo explains. "I'll explain to you in a bit, we're just gonna go and wash up" 

The man just nods and watches the two of them walk away with pity swimming in his eyes. He knows how much it hurts his friend to not be able to help someone who so desperately needs it. 

—

"Hwanseok.." your mother speaks and puts her hands on your father's shoulders. "We should… organize Y/N's funeral" 

Yongjun hasn't come out of his room again after Haeryeong explained to him that you, his older sister he looked up to, has died. 

Your father just nods, knowing he has to let go. 

So about an hour later a van from the city's mortuary came and got your body. Your parents filled out all the papers regarding your burial and watched as the workers drove away. 

—

Everything was pitch black and so… cold. But not the kind of cold that made you shiver, no, that type of cold that keeps you cool but at just the right temperature. It's hard to describe, yet you found comfort in it. 

It's like you're dreaming of nothing but that nothing was still something. 

And you felt heavy. So damn heavy that you can't move a muscle, it's like you're paralyzed. 

The only thing that indicates you're still somehow awake were the distant voices. You couldn't differentiate them except for one deep voice. 

After that, you kinda flaked out and now you were just confused. What was happening? and why couldn't you wake up or anything? Because it felt like an eternity. 

—

"J-Junghwa please tell us you're pulling a sick prank on us right now" a close friend of yours says with a shaky voice. 

"Yeah! No way- No way did that happen!" Hae-in also says, tears welling up in her eyes. "You were with her, what happened?!" 

Junghwa rubs his face and looks at the three girls in front of him. "I'm telling the truth - I swear I am! I had to get the Necromancer but even his efforts were in vain. She died and her parents probably already had someone pick her up…" 

Hae-in breaks out in tears, sobbing into her hands before Yura takes her into her arms, also silently crying. 

"This feels so unreal" Hana says, trying hard to not break down as well. 

"I know… I'll miss her so much" Junghwa says, eyes getting glassy. "I just… thought I'd let you guys know.." 

Yura and Hana nod at him while Hae-in continues sobbing into Yura's shoulder. 

Junghwa turns around and wipes his eyes, making his way back home. 

—

"Seoho, how do you feel today?" 

"Numb" 

"You have to eat" He says, pushing the plate of toast towards him. "Woong is going to short-circuit when he realizes you are not eating the breakfast he prepared for you" 

"But I don't feel like eating, Hyung" The sorcerer fights back, hands going up to hold onto his head. "I just failed a very influential and nice man! I couldn't save his daughter because I didn't see what poisoned her!" 

The older one frowns and sits down next to his friend, taking his hands and looking him in the eye. "Listen Seoho, this is not your fault. Everyone makes mistakes and it does not help you one bit if you dwell on them. Instead, take them as a lesson for what you can do better next time. There is always a chance for you to prove yourself and this was not the last one, okay?" 

The sorcerer feels tears building up in his eyes at his Hyung's words and nods quietly, afraid his voice will break if he speaks. 

The older one gently guides Seoho's head to his shoulder and lets him cry it out. He understands the pain his younger friend feels almost too well. 

The younger one of the two quickly composes himself and wipes away his tears. "Thank you H-Hyung" 

Said man just smiles gently and pats his shoulder. "It's okay" 

"Seo-ie Hyung~ did you eat your food?" 

"Ah shit, here we go…" 

—

You could feel your senses coming back to you one by one, hearing being the first. 

"Cause of death?" 

"Spirit-Iron and Vampire-Root poisoning and rapid internal bleeding" 

"Time and date of death?" 

"4:37pm, January 25th 2920" 

"Name and age?" 

"L/N Y/N, 23" 

"Species?" 

"W-" 

The two men got interrupted by a loud banging noise. 

"Ah shit, what did the intern do this time again" 

"We should check it out, it's not like she's going anywhere" 

"You're right, let's go" 

That's when you opened your eyes, sterile white light shining down on you as you sat up. 

To your surprise you were still in your clothes which were soaked in blood, but luckily not sticking to you anymore. You sat up and your feet met the ground. 

You tiptoe around the examination table and towards the door, carefully peeking around before navigating your way through the building with the help of signs hung up. 

"HOLY FUCK!!" you hear one of the two men scream. "THE CORPSE IS GONE! WHAT THE FUCK!!" 

You were surprised you weren't panicking, but that was a problem for later as you sprinted outside and into the forest which was near the mortuary, not paying attention to your surroundings. 

—

"What?" Your father's voice sounded through the living room and your Mother peered up. "What do you mean 'her corpse is gone'???"

Haeryeong could feel the feeling of dread creep up inside of her as she listened to what Hwanseok was saying. 

"Oh god" he mumbles. "N-No I don't think you should try and find her body- I'll take care of it. Yeah goodbye" 

"What the hell happened?" Haeryeong asks, eyes wide. 

"The mortuary called and said Y/N's body is gone" Hwanseok explains, "this must be some sick joke" 

"Do you think the Necromancer has something to do with it?" 

"As much as I want to believe he's not at fault, he's the only one who's capable of such thing" 

"What do you plan to do, Hwanseok?" Haeryeong asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry. 

"I'm going to pay him a little visit tomorrow" 

—

You finally stopped running when you felt like you were far enough into the woods, sitting down against a tree. 

That's when you started noticing the details. 

No breathing, no racing heartbeat or pulse, no sense of fear or threat. 

What the hell was going on? Weren't you just on your way home from that frat party with Junghwa? Your drink tasted weird and everything was spinning until it just went black. 

Did someone put a weird potion into your drink? 

You don't know for how long you've been sitting there, but it somehow felt like an eternity and it dawned on you that you were most probably dead. 

The lack of a heartbeat and breathing was worrying and so fucking confusing, if your body would still be able to you would've totally panicked. Yet here you were, sitting totally calm against the bark of a tree, trying to grasp the situation. 

It was just so illogical how your brain is still working but your heart doesn't beat. It defies all the knowledge of the body's anatomy and it drives you wild. 

Slowly getting up again you try and see where you can go, but everything is just so dark and you can't see past the thick trees and small rays of light the moon provides, but you heard what felt like every little noise. 

And then the crunching of leaves and twigs snapping got your attention, head whipping around to look towards where the noise was coming from. 

You were on high alert as you kept your eyes on the spot. 

"Are you lost?" A male voice asks you, but you remain silent and press yourself against the tree. "Hey don't be scared" 

You hold your tongue at the snarky reply that was about to slip out when the man steps forward onto a spot illuminated by the moonlight. 

"Who are you?" You ask, getting ready to defend yourself. 

"I-" the guy stumbles over his words, probably not having expected this question, "I'm Seoho, the Necromancer" 

That's when you notice the black outline of the Spellmark around his left eye, a stark contrast to his light skin. 

You take a tentative step forward, more into the moonlight and you see the man's eyes widen. "No- No this can't be real" 

Furrowing your brows and tilting your head you ask him, "what can't be real? Do I know you?" 

He sinks to his knees in what looks like shock and you go closer, squatting down in front of him. "Hey what's wrong?" 

Seoho looks almost mortified as his eyes meet yours. "I-I watched you die just a few hours ago! There w-was so much blood!" 

A confused pout forms on your lips as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "That explains a lot…" You mumble, "I woke up in this mortuary and ran into the forest without knowing where to go" 

Your little explanation seems to have stirred something in the guy as a sob wrecks his body and you don't know what to do with yourself right then and there. "Hey- please don't cry!" 

He laughs dryly and wipes his eyes. "I'm sorry this is just- overwhelming" 

"But aren't you used to seeing dead people come back to life?" You ask. 

To your surprise Seoho shakes his head. "That's what everyone thinks, you know?" He sniffs a little and regains his composure. "But I have only ever revived one person" 

"Oh" 

"Yeah so… it's kind of new to me" He says, "and I actually didn't revive you, Y/N" 

"What? Hold up- what?" You're taken aback by his statement and look into his eyes, disregarding the fact that he knows your name. "What do you mean? Are you saying I came back to life by myself??" 

He runs a hand through his black hair, exposing his forehead briefly before answering you. "It looks like you did, yeah. I don't know how that's possible but-" 

"Hyung, where did you run off to?!" Someone yells from a distance away and you see the man tense. 

"You should go back to your friend, I'm sure he's worried" you suggest and stand up. "I think I'll go back home-"

"No!" Seoho frantically exclaims and you give him a surprised look. "I mean- don't go home! I should check up on you first!" 

Playing with your fingers, you think about it for a second before the new voice calls out again. 

"Seo-ie Hyung~" he chimes. "Where are you~" 

The sorcerer gives you a pleading look as he also rises back onto his feet, his taller figure slightly towering over you. 

"Fine" you give in and a smile breaks out on his face, a cute eye smile hiding his eyes in a crescent moon shape. 

"Hyungie I found you!" The voice exclaims from behind Seoho and quick footsteps approach you two as the guy jumps onto the older one's back. "Ohhh who's that?" 

The guy is shorter than Seoho and his hair a bright pink, his eyes flashing yellow for a second as he curiously blinks at you.

"Uh.. hi?" You awkwardly greet and wave your hand at him. 

He hops down from Seoho's back and approaches you, circling around your figure. "How would you never want to die?" 

The question catches you off guard and you furrow your brows while watching his movements. "I guess being burnt alive sounds pretty gruesome" 

He starts laughing hysterically only to stop after a few seconds. "I see~" he says and stands in front of you, holding out his hand for you to shake while Seoho watches you two closely. "I'm Hwanwoong! What about you?" 

You take his hand cautiously and shake it, his strong grip startling you slightly, not having expected someone of his size to be so strong. But then again; never judge a book by its cover. "I'm Y/N" 

"Your hand is awfully cold, N/N-ie" He comments. "Are you sick?" 

"Uhm-" 

"Woongie, that's enough" Seoho finally steps in, "we should head back, yeah?" 

Hwanwoong releases his grip on your hand and nods with a big smile. "Should I hurry back first and tell Grumpy Hyung about your guest?" 

You hold back a laugh at what he called his older friend. 

"Yeah, do that" Seoho nods and cracks a smile. "But don't call him Grumpy, you know he hates that" 

"That's why he is grumpy hyung! But okay, I'm going~" Hwanwoong giggles like a child and starts running away. 

"I'm sorry for this… weird encounter" The sorcerer turns to you with a sheepish smile. "You know how shapeshifters are" 

"It's fine don't worry" you wave it off, "he's actually quite alright" 

Seoho snorts at what you said and clears his throat. "Just wait until he has a fit… then he's not so alright anymore" 

"Wh-" 

"We should go now" 

You bite back the question you were going to ask and opt for just nodding as you follow beside him, navigating through the woods. 

—

"Are we there soon? It feels like we've been walking for days" You complain and Seoho chuckles. 

"Don't worry we'll be there in 2 more minutes, Y/N" 

Then you suddenly realized that he knew your name before you even told him or his friend. 

"Wait.. you knew my name before" 

"Did you forget what I said? About watching you die under my hands?" 

"No.." 

"Your father had someone get me" 

You remain silent, since it made perfect sense now. 

Seoho leads the way through a particular dark part of the forest before a giant building comes into view. 

"That's it" He says and looks at you. 

"Woah" You comment in astonishment and meet his gaze. "This is where you live?" 

The sorcerer gives you a proud smile and nods. "Yup. I live here with five other friends. They're my family" 

A soft smile also reaches your face. 

"Ohh Seo-ie Hyung is back!" Hwanwoong's voice is loud as he practically yells that. 

Both Seoho and you turn your gazes to the front door, Hwanwoong's bright pink hair standing out against the dark interior, a taller man in a red suit standing next to him. 

Seoho takes a hold of your wrist and drags you towards them. "Hey Hyung" he greets the taller one. "Did Woongie tell you?" 

"Yeah" the guy nods, his attention then on you. "May I ask for your name?" 

He speaks very… formal, detached even, you notice. "I'm L/N Y/N" 

The man gives you a tight smile. "You can call me Ravn for now. Nice to make your acquaintance" 

"Ah, me too" you awkwardly bow a bit, making a chuckle erupt from the tall guy. 

"Let's head inside" Seoho speaks up again and enters with you first up, practically shoving you inside before the other two follow close behind. 

He shows you into a hospital-like room and makes you sit down on one of the four beds. "I'll be right back okay? I just need to get my assistant" 

"Alright" you nod and watch him leave, closing the door behind him so you decide on just looking around the room. 

It looks pretty sterile, IV-Bags next to every bed but without fluid, monitors of all kinds and also a sink next to the door. It looks like they took lots of instruments from a hospital room. 

You don't remember where you heard it, but you're pretty sure someone once told you that the Necromancer's healing abilities were pretty weak, so he had to rely a lot on potions and normal things like they are in here. 

Just when you finished your thought, the door opened again. 

"No way" a green haired man says and looks at you, calmly sitting on the bed while Seoho closes the door behind them. "You- How?" 

"I told you, I don't know. That's why I got you to help me check her up" 

The two guys go and grab some stuff from around the room and put it on the table next to the bed you're sitting on. 

"Hey uhm" you speak up, "I heard you're not that good with healing stuff" 

A pang of hurt flashes across his face for a second after your comment. 

"Ah! I'm not making fun of you! It's just that-" with frantic hand motions you try to explain yourself, "I'm one of the best healers in this land so maybe I could help you out..?" 

The hurt in his face immediately gets replaced with relief and he exchanges glances with his companion. "I mean, I don't see why not" Seoho bashfully smiles at you. "It would mean a lot to me" 

You smile back at him. "Okay we can talk about that later, right? What kind of stuff do you need to check?" 

"Well first of all we need to check your blood" the green haired guy starts explaining, "then we need to check your vitals and brain activity and lastly abilities" 

"No physical tests or anything?" You ask and raise a brow. 

"What Leedo forgot to say" Seoho now answers, "is that yes, we will do physical tests, but they come after the stuff he listed" 

"Ohh I see" you nod in understanding. 

Seoho goes to grab a syringe and you watch him closely. "I hope you're not afraid of needles" 

"Actually I am" you reply, bending back a bit to get away from the instrument. "I've always hated them" 

A frown pulls on the sorcerer's lips. "I'm sorry. We do need a bit of your blood though…" 

You fight yourself for a few seconds before giving in. "Please make it quick" and the man nods, patting your knee briefly. 

[handonhaven]

Okay Lizzie and Josie really pissed me off in 3x16. Like Hope just ran off with someone who tried to kill her and someone who manipulated Josie. With no clue why or where they were going. And Lizzie first thought was to try to find Hope a rebound. Not to try to find out where she went or if she was in any danger. And Josie was no help either she didn't bother to do any of those things. She just asked Lizzie with who. I also didn't like Lizzie comment either. When she said "we can't afford to be picky. Anyone who doesn't melt after having sex with her will do." Maybe it's just me and I'm taking that comment the wrong way. But when she said that I got so mad. Because what I took from that was being able to have sex is only thing that matters. So let's just try to hook her up with anyone. Doesn't matter if they're a killer or a psychopath as long as they can have sex then it's fine. I don't know maybe I'm just over reacting to that(but I can't be the only one to feel something like that after hearing that comment, can I?).

So, so many Handon scenes just hits so differently now knowing that Landon was really malivore. I'm not gonna lie after I found that out I went back and watched those scenes over again trying to see if I can find any clues or hints at it. But when I did that I start it to think about the fact that we had a whole season without the real Landon. Then I start thinking about the fact that Landon has had a whole season of going through trauma one right after the other since 3x02(when Raph died) and it only got worse from there. Then I got mad at the writers for doing that to him. It was bad enough that his life before coming to the school was hell. So were they just like yeah lets put him through a whole season a trauma too. Now before anyone says well Hope went through hell this season too. I'm not saying she didn't. But I feel like Landons was on a whole different level than Hopes. Because Landon had to watch his brother die, then had to watch himself melt, then he was in malivore, then in the prison fighting off monsters, to then having malivore take over his body. And who knows what he's going through in this own mind right now. But I think my biggest fear is that when they do get Landon back the real Landon. That they play off his trauma to save time(like they often do now). Or someone will try to downplay it like it was nothing. Because if they do that imma be pissed.

So I start it thinking about that maliLandon scene with Cleo when we saw both malivore's and Landons memories. And all of Landons memories were big Handon moments for season 2(I think there might have been some for season 1 but I can't remember). And I know they did that for a reason. I think in that scene it inspired both malivore and Landon somehow to do something. I just can't figure out what and I know myself this will be stuck on my mind until we finally find out lol. I'm already thinking up theories and all both make sense but don't make sense all at the same time. And this is really going to bug me.

P.S 1: I have to say this season had one very consistent thing, the "Logical" answer is wrong.

- Logic telling Hope, Landon was dead ....wrong

- Logic telling Hope, Landon was back.....wrong (Hope felt something was off but chose to ignore it bc she missed him)

- Logic telling Hope, she and Landon are doomed.....wrong

- Logic telling Cleo, to trust Landon and he was only traumatized.....wrong

- Logic telling them Malivore wanted Cleo to escape the prison world....wrong

- Logic telling them, the monsters were coming from a actual pit....wrong

- Logic telling Hope the only way to kill Malivore is to become a Tribrid.....wrong

- Logic telling Hope she caused Landon to melt.....wrong(okay I know we don't know for sure about that one. But that feels way way to much like a red herring with how much it's been said). Also another consistent thing is everything they say things Multiple times over and over again espesally things that have no concrete proof turns out to be False. They keep repeating these things; Landon is Human, Landon is dead, Landon is not a Phoenix anymore, Hope needs to become a Tribrid, Hope is toxic to Landon(once again I know we don't know for sure yet, but there's no way that isn't a red herring), Hope and Landon are doomed. Watch all turn out to be wrong.

2. The antis and H*sies are already coming out the wood works. And there this one line I see that they're really trying to hold onto like it's a win or something. How at the end of 3x16 when Hope said "we want our friends back" they're taking it like Hope sees Landon as a friend now(among other things but that would make this too long if I write it all out). Which is sad and means they're truly not paying attention to anything. And let me just point out that Hope was speaking for everyone not just herself. So it makes more sense for her to say "we want our friends back" then it would be for her to say "we want our friend and my boyfriend back". Since they're all friends with Landon and Cleo. Even though they're not very good friends to Landon(minus Hope because Hope is with Landon and treats him better than his "friends" does). But that's a whole other thing for another time. I do my best to say away from antis and H*sies but somehow one of them somehow always end up in my timeline. And it's gonna make these next three months so much longer than it needs to be tbh.

Same. Exactly! It was all so strange.

Lizzie was just upset over the fact that Hope ditched them, but Hope has always done stuff like that on her own to keep others out of danger. Yet Lizzie didn’t even seem to care, even though both her and Josie said they didn’t trust Clarke after all he had done. So they knew that Hope could’ve been in danger. But Lizzie’s highest concern in that moment was finding Hope a rebound as quickly as possible?? What on earth... And Josie acknowledged that Hope could be in danger, said she cared more about her actual life than her romantic one, but then proceeded to do nothing. And exactly! That comment really bothered me too! Yep, that’s also how it came across to me. Like Hope being able to have sex with someone was the priority, the rest wasn’t important. I don’t think you’re overreacting, I thought it sounded really bad. And the fact that Lizzie was focusing on that over Hope’s safety... I don’t even know what to say. Then Ethan shows up and they drag him into it, it was just a mess, and probably the weirdest way and time to bring in a love interest for Lizzie. Then they get to the school, are casually standing around chatting, then Lizzie wants to give Ethan a tour. All thoughts about Hope’s safety forgotten, besides Josie mentioning in passing that they needed to tell Alaric what happened. That was the full extent of their efforts to help Hope. Then she gets back and all they can talk about is how she ditched them? Not about what happened or if she’s okay? And they’re the ones who just promised Hope she wouldn’t be facing Malivore alone... not off to a good start.

And right? It’s crazy! Me too, watching the breakup scene is SO different now haha. But ugh, yes. We seriously had nearly an entire season without the real Landon... I can’t. And same. That’s one of the things I’ve been thinking about the most, and I’m honestly mad at the writers as well. Like, it’s actually shocking to think about just how much trauma he has gone through. And I don’t know what made them to decide to put him through that much because it’s unreal. Just... why?? So true, he had a lifetime of trauma before the show even started! Went through more trauma while at the school, going through death after death. And then went through the most horrible things this whole season. And yes, Hope did go through hell, but what she went through was very different. I agree, what Landon went through was on a whole other level. Exactly! He literally went through one trauma right after the other. And he went through them alone (apart from losing Raf). Without any help, and every single time he escaped one thing, he ended up in another and endured more trauma. He’s been through pure hell, nonstop, and I can’t imagine what state he’s in right now and how he’ll be when this is all over. Oh, and literally me. I’m honestly so worried they’re gonna do that too. That they’ll just ignore his trauma, that they won’t show how he’s been affected or have him talking about it. And it will just get cut off and forgotten and they’ll jump to the next thing and he may not get even a break. Because that really is what they do all the time. And right now is their chance to show what he’s been through. To go back and show what happened to him and show his side of things. We need to actually see what he’s been through and how he’s being affected right now. And once they get him back, they need to address it. They need to let him and Hope rest. I think season 4 needs to be about them healing together, though I’m sure they’ll be dealing with more crap. So I’m very worried about that, I will be pissed right along with you if they don’t go into that. That’s probably what I want to see the most at this point, and what I think is extremely important, not only for his character, but also because they shouldn’t ignore that kind of trauma.

And yes, they were! They had Landon remembering Hope telling him she loved him for the first time, and then those other huge moments for them, the 2x08 reunion, and the scenes in 2x11. I‘m wondering if those might be Landon’s most powerful memories. And I think you could be right, I’ve wondered the same thing, but I also can’t figure it out. Like they showed Handon memories with Malivore creating Clarke like... I’m so confused haha. They definitely left us with too many questions, and now we have to wait, it’s gonna suck.

Wow, you make very good points with that. That’s very interesting for sure. The writers really used “logic” as a way to mislead the characters in order to shape the plot for the season. And I think because of that, they also had to hold the characters back from investigating things further. When I feel like Hope, especially, would’ve looked into things more to figure out what was going on, but they couldn’t have them finding out yet so they just had everyone believing in the “logical” answer. Which does end up fitting with the idea that things are not what the seem, especially with all the things you listed that they keep repeating. Which does make it seem pretty obvious that they’re trying to convince us of these things that aren’t actually true. I think it’s gonna all turn out to be wrong as well. We already know it wouldn’t make sense for Landon to be fully human since he never was, and that he’ll surely get his Phoenix powers back. And I agree about Hope being toxic to Landon too, the more they’ve talked about it, the less I believe it’s true haha. And same now with them talking about Hope having to become a full tribrid, it seems like they might be doing the same thing. Or at least, if these things aren’t already wrong, Hope and Landon will find a way to prove them wrong by fighting their fate.

Yeah, those people clearly aren’t paying attention to the show and are grasping for anything at this point. Did they not watch Hope’s scenes with Clarke and how she responded to him talking about fighting fate? Did they not hear her literally tell Cleo that she still loves Landon? Obviously, Hope does not view Landon as just a friend. She was speaking for the group, just like you said. I don’t even think Hope sees Cleo as her friend right now. When Cleo told Hope that she hopes they can be friends again after all this, Hope said nothing and just walked away. So yeah, she was speaking for everyone else, although it’s weird that the rest of them would even view them as friends either. I’m pretty sure Kaleb is the only one who really sees Cleo as a friend. And true, they’re not even friends to Landon, none of them gave a crap when he died, so I’m not even sure why they were there. I guess since there’s a threat now? But anyway, yeah, I get that it’s hard to avoid those fans, the hate is everywhere. But knowing how ridiculous their reasoning is and how far they’re reaching helps me to just kind of laugh it off sometimes, although it is annoying. It gets so tiring to see, but I’m just gonna try to focus on enjoying Handon and ignoring the antis as best I can!