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eetherealgoddess · 4 months

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TR: ꨄYANDERE TOXIC BF HEADCANONSꨄ

Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, & Haitani Brothers x Reader

Characters are 18+

❦All I gotta say is NEVER try to leave these mfs❦

Not fully proofread

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR, AO3, AND WATTPAD UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

Mikey: When you first got together, you honestly had no idea he returned the same feelings as you considering he always wore the same stoic expression whenever you were around. So focused on his family and friends he barely had enough time to spend with you.

Of course, you had no problem with this considering it was not only the beginning of your relationship but better for him to be stuck on family than other lovers. It only became a problem when he didn’t bother to make time with you at all. Not a hang out, date, nothing.

He barely texts and would leave you on delivered quite often. When you tried to initiate quality time, he would either have an excuse or ignore you. He never really showed you off and you doubt anyone would know about you if you hadn’t shown up to one or two meetings.

You wondered why he even accepted your proposal to be his girlfriend in the first place if he didn’t really want you. Finally, tired of everything, you decided to break up with him, face - to - face.

“You’re breaking up with me?” He questions with disbelief. “Yes, Mikey. I do have feelings for you, but this just isn’t working out like I thought it would.” You explained, disappointed with how things turned out.

“You can’t break up with me. I thought you loved me, Y/n. You can’t leave me.” His eyes narrow as he shoves you against the wall. Your eyes widen in shock as your back hits against the hard surface. “M-Mikey, what’s wrong with you? I thought this would be something you wanted!” His hands tighten around your shoulders, nails piercing through the fabric as you wince from the penetration of your skin.

“You’re mine, Y/n.” You had no idea what all he went through to get you to notice him. First, he had to get rid of your ex boyfriend. When threatening him didn’t work, his gang jumped him, beating him to a pulp. Hence the break up text. Honestly, if your ex hadn’t given in, it would’ve been his own death sentence. Next, was ‘accidentally’ meeting you just after the break up, catching you when you’re vulnerable enough to fall for any kind of attention. Third, getting you to chase him by the ‘hot and cold’ behavior. Giving you a little just to give you absolutely nothing in return so you keep yearning for him.

He was so happy when you asked him out, non stop talking about you to all of his friends and family. His plan worked perfectly, until now. “This doesn’t make any sense, Mikey!” You cried out in confusion and slight fear. “It’s not hard, Y/n. I love you and you’re my girlfriend.” He releases you with a smile, gazing at the concerned expression on your face. He gently grabs your hand. “I forgive you.” He brings your hand to his lips and leaves a peck. You begin to question his insanity as well as your own.

Kazutora: “If you actually loved me you’d let it go!” He says, tears threatening to fall out of his eyes as he blocks you from slamming your bedroom door against his face. “If you actually loved me then you wouldn’t have cheated on me, Kazu!” You yell angrily as you wipe your tears. You cross your arms as you glare at your boyfriend who’s about to be your ex.

“I didn’t cheat on you! You’re overreacting! We didn’t even have sex!” You scoff. “So I guess I can just flirt with my exes and then complain about our relationship to them, huh?” He glares with tears in his eyes. “It’s your fault for not paying attention to me, Y/n. I wouldn’t have to ask for affection if you’d give me enough.” He crosses his own arms. You stare back in disbelief.

“Are you seriously trying to make excuses for emotionally cheating on me with your ex?” “It’s not excuses when it’s the truth. I just wished you loved me as much as I love you. You clearly don’t care about me otherwise you’d give me attention.” You hold your hands up. “I’m fucking done.” You say before walking out of the bedroom. His eyes widen as his heart begins to pound.

“Done with what?” He follows after you. “Done with you!” You growl as you grab the doorknob. Before you can open the door, you’re yanked back so roughly that you fall on your ass, staring at the man crawling on top of you and pinning you down as the tears spill out of his eyes.

“Y-you can’t leave me, Y/n. You won’t! I love you so fucking much! If you really loved me, you wouldn’t leave so don’t break my heart. I don’t know what I would do.” You stop yourself from crying with him, gazing at his pretty, pitiful face. No, I can’t fall for it.

“No, get off of me.” You hiss. You furrow your brows as his face becomes stoic with wide wet eyes. He wraps his hands around your neck, your hands grabbing his wrists as he shuts off your air supply. You struggle to breathe as you kick your feet, barely moving under him as you try to shove him off, to no avail.

“Baby, I don’t want to kill you, but if you don’t show me that we can work this out then I’ll have no choice. It’ll be so romantic, you and me. You die by my hands and I die right after so we can lie here together.” You immediately nod your head.

“W-we can!” You croak out, finally gaining a huge breath of oxygen once he releases you and wraps his arms around your body, hugging you tightly. You cough as the tears finally spill.

“Tell me you love me, I need to hear it please.” He cries against your shoulder, leaving a trail of kisses up your neck. “I love you.” He rocks you both as he kisses your forehead. “Good. Good. I’m so glad because I love you too.”

Ran: You couldn’t believe how your boyfriend Ran would blatantly flirt with different people in front of your face. It didn’t matter if it was a cashier, waitress, waiter, your friends, his friends, anyone who was around he would begin to flirt with them as you watch angrily. What makes it worse is that, he doesn’t seem to care much when you react. He just gives you that sly smile and says, “You jealous?” Otherwise he’ll pretend he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.

At the beginning of your relationship, it didn’t matter so much considering you only just began dating and neither of you knew how serious it would turn out so you didn’t want to be ‘overbearing,’ even though deep down you knew that it’s not you overreacting but it just goes to show how little respect he has for you. Especially since you’re a year into the relationship, and you’re currently on a date with your boyfriend and apparently the waitress who just decided to sit in the same booth.

You missed the way his eyes would peek over to see exactly how you were feeling, finding delight in the fact that you were so bothered over his attention focusing on someone else. It was his own little experiment. Considering he loves attention, specifically from you, it really sends blood to his cock to see your angry face. The fact that you would get so mad that you would yell at him afterwards only turned him on. He gets off to seeing you angry, upset, whatever as long as it’s toward him. And you continuously take it because you can’t get enough of him.

Finally, you shoot up from the table and walk off, walking towards his car. He follows you, hopping into the driver’s seat as you sit with your arms crossed in the passenger’s seat. He begins to drive you to his apartment, holding back his smirk.

“I think we should break up.” His grip on the wheel tightened, his eyes narrowing before he glances at you. “No you don’t.” You turn to him. “You can’t tell me how I feel. Take me to my apartment. I’m tired of your behavior. You wanna flirt with everyone so bad then you can be single.”

There was a moment of silence, a pause of pondering as he stares at the road. This wasn’t a part of the plan. This has never happened before. Usually you let it go after an argument and you both make up in the bedroom. “We’re done, for good.” Something snaps in him, squinting his eyes as he slams on the brakes in the middle of the road, your body thrown against the seatbelt as your eyes widen. You grab onto the door as you look at him. “What the fuck, Ran?”

He then slams on his gas pedal and takes a different turn, taking the interstate and accelerating the speed as his foot presses the gas pedal. “RAN! SLOW DOWN!” You scream in terror as you watch his speed go from 40 to 100 within seconds, only continuing to go higher as he passes the cars, purposefully going lane to lane to make it worse for you.

“Not until you take it back.” You gasp. “Are you fucking crazy? You’re gonna kill us!” He chuckles before frowning and glancing at you. “Doesn’t matter if you don’t take it back.” “Ran, please!” You cry as you see his speed reaching 130. “Take it fucking back, Y/n.” He growls. “I take it back! I take it back! Please, just slow down! I-I made a mistake just, please!” Finally, he gradually slows down, hitting his brakes as you breathe heavily, body still trembling when he finally slows down to five over the speed limit.

“Let’s head home so we can rest, yeah?” You nod your head, gripping the seat as you look ahead.

Rin: You’re so tired of the constant nitpicking of your flaws. You’re tired of receiving insults by the person who’s supposed to love every part of you. You have the understanding that obviously, just stating an opinion or giving critique to something is fine but when someone is just outright picking every single thing they can see wrong with you, it can be overwhelming.

Then when you try to leave they make you feel like you can’t live without them. How can you handle everything on your own when you can’t even handle little things. You’re a bit of a dimwit who can’t do things on your own so how would you be able to survive without the help of your generous boyfriend?

Rin makes you feel like you’re holding him back. He takes the time out of his day to help you out. To be there for you. How could someone like him go out of his way to help someone as low as you? Who else would deal with you. Who else would be there to help and protect you? Who else would be there to look after you because clearly you can’t look out for yourself.

Of course, your friends tell you how it’s all an illusion and he’s manipulating you. You believe them, but you believe him as well. Until, finally you decided that you didn’t want to feel like shit anymore. So you ask him to come to your apartment.

“Rin, I don’t like the way you make me feel. I love you, but I don’t think that this is working out.” One of his eyebrows raise as he leans back in his seat on the chair in the living room, taking a sip of his beverage and readjusting his glasses. “You think I like the way you make me feel? You think you can just use me and leave, Y/n?” Your eyes widen. “N-no! It’s not like that! I never used you.” “Oh? How did you get everything you own now? How did you get the clothes you’re wearing, the money in your bank account, the apartment you couldn’t afford if it wasn’t for me?” He smirks.

You could only stare as you pause in thought. Damn, have I been using him? But I never asked for any help and I was grateful and I truly love him. Have I been so mindless? So unaware? “You really hurt my feelings, babe. How could you do this to me?” He questions, his smirk turning to a stoic gaze. “Rin, it’s not like that, seriously. Look, I just want to be treated better. So we can’t be together anymore.” He sets the cup down, gripping the chair arms as he sits up in his seat, his arms resting on his legs when he releases.

“This isn’t over until I say it’s over. After all, you need me. You should be happy that I’m willing to stay with you after everything you’ve put me through.” “But-!” “Look, I’m going to give you some space to breathe and then we’re going to go on a date. It’s okay, Y/n. Really. I forgive you.” “Rin, I’m serious! I-I’m breaking up with you.”

You yelp as you duck your head just as the glass shatters from the cup, liquid oozing down the wall behind you. You look at him with your mouth agape. He stands up, brushing himself off with a bored look on his face. “I’m gonna pick you up at seven o’clock. Be ready for me, yeah?” He says, giving you a side eyed glance before walking to your front door and walking out, shutting the door behind him as you’re left gazing at the space in front of you in shock.

Sanzu: “Sanzu, I can’t do this anymore. I-I’m not cut out for your kind of lifestyle.” Those were the last words you got to say before you found yourself hiding in the mess of clothes from your closet after you heard the glass shatter from one of the windows in your apartment. You thought a phone call would suffice considering you know how your former boyfriend gets so you could be at a distance.

When the line went dead, you knew that you might’ve fucked up. What you didn’t expect was for him to already be at your apartment. You had no idea why or when he came over but he had been hiding somewhere outside considering the shot rang only seconds after the call. Scared out of your mind, you could barely think, running to your closet knowing that you would be dragged out soon. You accidentally dropped your phone in the living room so you couldn’t call anyone for help.

Somehow you still love this pretty maniac, though you just couldn’t bear with the guilt of knowing that you’re with a murderer. You had only just found out about his body count recently when you got curious enough to look in his phone. At this point you would’ve rather had found him cheating, though you found old files and information on it, realizing that it was actually his work phone. You had no idea he works for Bonten.

He completely lied to you about his whereabouts and place of work. He acted normal, as if he had never killed anyone. How could he be okay with himself? How could you still want him? You fought yourself on whether or not you should pretend you didn’t know anything, which you tried, only for the guilt to eat you alive. Especially when you snooped in his office when visiting his home and saw the terrible ways he murdered the victims. Those same hands touched you every day.

You jolt as you hear the door to your room being kicked off of its hinges. Before you knew it, the closet door swung open revealing the pretty man in all his madness, an angry look on his face. You scream as he shoves all the clothes off of you and snatches you out by the bicep, gun still in one of his hands.

“SANZU PLEASE!” You scream as he throws you on the bed. He crawls on top of you, setting the barrel of the gun to your head while his other hand wraps his fingers around your throat.

“Shh, shh. It’s fine. It’s okay. Just breathe.” He cooed as you listen, breathing heavily as you try to calm down, not wanting to get shot. “You’re so beautiful like this, Angel. Stop crying, okay?” You whimper as you try to hold in your cries, anxiety high as you stare into his crazed eyes. “That’s my good girl.” He smiles.

“You’re gonna keep being good for me, yeah?” You nod your head frantically, tears still falling as you continue to hold in your whines. You wince as the gun cocks, his finger against the trigger. “You didn’t say what I think you said, right? You’re not breaking up with me?” You shook your head. “N-no I’m not, I just freaked out. We’re still together, I swear!” He nods as he removes the gun, though with the weapon still in his hand, he pulls you up by the face and gives you a passionate kiss. Moving his lips against yours as you fearfully kiss him back, his tongue entering your mouth to explore as saliva drips down your chin. He pulls back and leans his forehead on yours.

“It’s good that you know who you belong to.”

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grison-in-space · 1 year

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also, hot take, but speaking as someone who has volunteered to work on big projects tackling difficult issues out of community love in the past, I am just. is the otw probably a really toxic place to volunteer and work right now? Sure is, probably! Is public pressure that doesn't come with an influx of new people volunteering to do the messy work of figuring out what a better policy is, how to create anti harassment safeguards, and otherwise fixing the problem actually useful? Fuck no it is definitely not!

like I will be 1000% honest, I have in fact been asked personally to volunteer to help a community transition on a much smaller scale to fix problems of this magnitude to encourage a much smaller scale organization to work and perform a community service. and I took that job with a strong sense of "ye gods this is going to suck and I'm going to piss people off by doing things wildly imperfectly, but if I don't help provide my work it might not get done because this is fucking hard and no one is paying."

and I did it and I stopped as quickly as humanly possible. now that shit is someone else's volunteer problem and I'm delighted, because let us be real I'm a disabled middle aged lady with a day job and I don't have full time professional effort to dedicate to stuff I do in my spare time for free. that's one of the fun things about disability actually, it constricts the total store of focused labor hours available to me to put in, especially on landmine topics like extending the scope of my archiving projects to create a farsighted anti harassment policy that can't be weaponized.

so like. the work needs doing. anything anyone does is going to be imperfect and problematic and bad, because it is being done on an almost purely volunteer basis by people who are for whatever reason willing to donate high level professional skills and labor for free and don't need to do stuff for actual money and support instead. like sure the budget is enormous for servers but none of that goes to labor.

Outrage is going to do jack shit unless people volunteer to roll up their sleeves and start doing the work to donate a better policy, or better management. This shit is fucking difficult, exhausting, and impossible to do without pissing people off. I am damn sure not getting involved right now, and that's why I have not been commenting. Public pressure is not going to do jack shit if it didn't come with support.

If this is an issue that is important to you, you have to back up your outrage with resources. Since the AO3 does not exchange money for labor, that means showing up to offer to help build something different. as I said, I am a middle aged disabled lady who finds fandom and archive repositories to be important and helpful and I don't have any labor left to donate, so I have been reserving comment on complaint. If this is a thing that matters to you, congratulations! Public pressure is only useful insofar as it can be used to make the org let you help. It's up to you to actually help.

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crusty-chronicles · 4 months

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HxH Men Throwing Down with their S/O's Plushies

Synopsis: How hxh men react to your plushie collection, and if they'd fight them when you're not there.

An: I'm tired of all the fine men being ignored in the HxH fandom. Here's a Valentine's Day special of some of my favorites who are always overlooked for the most white bread, cardboard personality, toxic men.*cough cough* adult trio* cough cough*

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Leorio 🩺

100% fights your plushies

Without a doubt he throws down with them when you're not there. Even when you're in the room he's throwing hands.

And it is personal 😤

You've caught him on several occasions saying- "Think you can sleep next to my girl/man and get away with it?!? You homewrecker!!!!”

It's honestly really funny to see him put one of your giant bears in a headlock.

But you have to stop him before he tears it because those things are expensive goddamit.

“Leave him alone. I've had him for about ten years and I doubt you could find me another one. So drop him,” you lecture.

And he begrudgingly drops your big teddy bear. But not before complaining that you love it more than him.

All pouty and upset until you kiss his cheek and reassure him.

“Babe, they're not alive. You have absolutely no competition for my heart.”

He knows that, but they're everywhere. Watching him with their beady little eyes from their place on your bed.

Which reminds me-

He piledrives your little plushies when you're not in the room.

If he had it his way, they'd all be locked away somewhere.

But because he loves you with his whole heart, he moves them away from your side of the bed to his.

What? Those little bastards thought they'd get to sleep next to you when he's home? Not a chance!

He hates them for the attention you give them, but he also contributes to your collection.

Whenever he's got funds to spare, he'll bring you home a new addition.

With the condition that you give him twice as many cuddles ☝️

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Ging 🎣

He's a little less aggressive than Leorio, but he still fights your plushies.

And he fights with the intent to win.

Which more often than not leads them to getting ruined.

Tackles the absolute hell out of your big plushies. Then he'll jab it's stomach a few times.

“Getting a little too comfortable on my side, Jeremiah?”

If they're on the bed, they're on the floor when you get back.

Doesn't really do it for jealousy, but because he thinks your reaction is funny.

He'll throw one of the smaller ones off and you let out the most offended gasp.

“You stop that right now! You're gonna get him dirty! And I can't put him in the washer!”

He comes up with excuses too, just to see how much you'll let him get away with.

“That one was looking at me funny.” “You've got a place on your bed for each and every one of those little shittlings, but absolutely no room for me. It's not fair.” “I didn't get you that one, so it's under the bed where it belongs.”

The answer: you let him get away with a lot. You secretly think it's cute, but it's annoying how filthy he gets them.

He also steals them from time to time.

Totally not because he likes having something of you when he's away. What? You're crazy 🙄🙄🙄

He'll complain, but he'll always get you replacements for the ones he damages. He'll even get you the jumbo versions of the little ones.

Just because he loves you, despite his lackluster way of showing it.

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Morel 🚬

He's pretty respectful about it

Does not fight them.

But, every man has his weakness.

So there are times when he'll pick one of the smaller ones up and inspect it. Right before he squeezes it completely in his hand.

Why does he do it? Just because.

They're like little stress balls

And it's during one of these moments of weakness that you catch him.

“You're choking out my poor frog! Let him go before his eye pops out!”

And he laughs. He thinks it's sweet how much you love these things.

Even if you've got them on shelves and they stare into his soul at night.

He makes it a habit not to smoke or use his ability in front of them.

They hold too much sentimental value to you. And the last thing he wants is for you to get upset.

But the squishing? It doesn't stop.

It's like they're begging to be smooshed.

And you never fail to get after him every time.

“Quit abusing my babies!” You scold before taking back your stuffed rabbit.

He lets you have another bed to put all your plushies on.

He's a big man 😤😤😤 He can't afford space to share with them. He also likes to sleep next to his partner undisturbed, thank you 😤.

Also contributes to your collection.

And we're not talking every once and a while.

He's got that hunter money, so if you see something you want, it's yours

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Knov 👔

Arguably the most mature of the bunch

Your precious little babies are safe from him

It doesn't even cross his mind to fight them

That being said, your plushies aren't allowed on the bed at all ☹️

“I refuse to have my sleeping space occupied by that thing.” He said, gesturing to a very well loved seal plush. One of its eyes missing.

“What’s wrong with Samuel?”

“Look at it. The poor thing's traumatized. And you're gonna end up choking on its stuffing.”

They aren't even allowed in the bedroom on shelves.

However☝️, he does end up doing something special for you because of how much you adore your plushies.

He lets you dedicate one entire room to your collection. Buy a little bed for you to put them on. Even gets special shelves installed for you.

That's their room and theirs alone.

Also encourages you to get more now that you have ample space for them.

Every trip/mission he leaves for, he always makes sure to bring you something back.

Whether it be one of the huge bears or a little keychain plush, he gets it for you.

Definitely not a man afraid to spend on his S/O and their interest.

He also doesn't bat an eye at the attention you give them.

They mean a lot to you, but so does he judging by the way you're always ready to compromise

That and the way you cuddle closer to him at night and say-

“You're a whole lot better than even my softest of plushies.”

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Knuckle 🐕

On a bad day, it's on sight.

Always the bigger ones too

“What're you looking at?” And then he'll wrestle whatever poor plush caught his eye first.

But he feels incredibly bad about it afterwards

Picking up your little dinosaur nugget plush with tears in his eyes.

“I'm so sorry. You're mother's/father's gonna kill me for this.”

Even goes as far as to stitch up any little holes if he damaged them.

What can I say? He's a total softie

Like many of the men on here, he does contribute to your collection.

But you also inadvertently make him start his own 💀

You'll buy one for yourself and because it needs a friend, you buy another.

Only to gift it to him because ‘They’re dating like us.’ 🥺

That's how it starts.

You start buying plushies in pairs.

One for you and one for him.

It never fails to make Knuckle cry.

“Babe really? You didn't have to.”

And he's cradling the little dog plush you got him with such care. Like it's the most delicate thing in the world.

He, of course, makes sure to get another set to pay you back.

Plushies in the bed?

100%

No complaints here.

Even memorizes the names of all of them.

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Kurapika ⛓️

He simply does not have the energy to fight your plushies

He comes home tired and drained, understandably. And the first thing he does is collapse on the bed, right on top of them.

Doesn't think twice about it. In fact, he likes the extra cushion they provide.

And you don't mind all that much either. Kurapika does a lot. He's been through a lot.

If he wants to rest right on top of your plushies, he's more than welcome.

However, when he's not completely exhausted, he's mean to them ☹️

He'll push off the ones on his side of the bed to make space for himself. And he will not pick them up

Or he'll hide the one you usually snuggle with at night so he can cuddle you himself.

He just wants your warmth after a long day. Is that so much to ask for?

“Kurapika, have you seen my octopus plush anywhere?”

And he'll look away guiltily before mumbling a ‘No. Can't say that I have.’

But he always puts it back when he knows he'll be gone for a while.

He knows it brings you comfort, and who is he to take that away from you.

He does get pouty when you give them extra attention.

“I've been gone for a month and you're too busy cleaning that thing to greet me.” He complains.

Only for you to get up and wrap your arms around him. Giving his cheek a smooch before saying-

“You know you're precious to me. But I wouldn't be so busy cleaning my baby if you'd stop leaving him on the floor.”

He makes it up to you everytime by getting you another one.

He always makes sure to pick you something up when he comes back from searching for his clan's eyes.

A little thank you for always waiting for him and giving endless patience.

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Kite 🪁

Another man whom your plushies are safe from

He's supportive of your collection, but all he asks is that they don't take up the entire bed.

If they do, he's a little mean about it and organizes them all on your side.

That's about as far as he goes with messing with them.

He definitely builds you shelves to keep them in

Again, the less of them in the bed, the more space you two have.

He thinks it's cute how much you care about them, and likes to indulge you by asking how you got them.

He listens to each and every story you have and why each plush is special to you.

Safe to say, this man does not get jealous

A piece of fluff with stuffing is the last thing he's worried about

That being said, he contributes less frequently to your collection than the other men on this list

He limits them to special occasions like your birthday or an anniversary.

Why?

He wants to make sure each one is attached to a special moment so you hold them just as dear as your other ones.

An import memory that you're able to hold onto

He's also careful around your plushies.

He doesn't wanna get them dirty or accidentally tear them because of how much they mean to you.

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Wing 👓

This man right here is a 10/10

The absolute sweetest man

The thought doesn't even cross his mind to throw down with your plushies

In fact, he prides himself on taking care of them while you're out

Dusting them off, reorganizing them, stitching up any little holes he sees

Also someone who goes out of his way to memorize all their names.

Knows each one by heart because he always listens intently when you talk about them

Your big dinosaur?

That's Chungus.

The little raccoon?

Sylvester.

You want the plushies in bed?

Of course! Each one has their own special place. And he makes sure there's enough space for the both of you.

If he's got money to spare, he's definitely gonna get you something.

You don't even have to ask, he's already bringing you home a little duck plush that Zushi thought you'd like. What can he say? The kid adores you

This man doesn't get jealous whatsoever

In fact, you're the one who ends up getting pouty because he's taking fantastic care of your plushies.

“Honey, I want cuddles.” You whine.

And he's cleaning off one of your bears with a damp rag.

“In a minute, dearest. You got him dirty last night.”

But as soon as he's done, you've got his full attention

He just knows how much you love those things and wants you to be able to cherish them for as long as possible.

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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY 💕💕💕💕

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flowerandblood · 2 months

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ONE YEAR OF FLOWER&BLOOD

✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙

Exactly one year ago I posted my first chapter of the My Best Friend series. Nowadays I think it's something awful and I don't even try to edit it because I'd have to write everything from scratch, but I've left it for people who feel attached to the story. I remember getting about six likes and one comment on the first day and that huuuuge interest made me eager to create chapter 2 and then all the others.

I remember the excitement with which I waited and then replied to comments, not believing that people were actually waiting for the next chapter. At the time I was literally not following anyone, which was good because I wasn't comparing myself to anyone.

Eventually I felt I was ready to try writing other series and a few were successful enough that I decided to stay here permanently and create because it made me happy. Up to that point, everyone had been very kind to me and I started following more and more blogs, wanting to feel part of the fandom, to make friends with everyone. Now I know that was the biggest mistake I made.

Seeing things that didn't interest me, fanfic's whose way of writing couldn't draw me in, I felt frustrated, while at the same time fearing that if I stopped following someone, that person would see it as an affront. At the same time, The Impossible Choice, my biggest project until The Fall from the Heavens (which I'm currently editing and re-editing, while inserting on AO3), began to be written.

Just when I thought I had reached the pinnacle of my abilities (which wasn't true), I also started to clash with anonymous hate messages, probably the worst of which were those vilifying me and my husband, and those regarding my one-shot with Micheal Gavey. I know now that taking it personally and getting involved was my big mistake, and the fandom was shaken by drama that got out of hand.

I was a few steps away from deleting my blog at the time, but my husband talked me out of the idea (thankfully, as my stories aren't saved anywhere else − I'm only now moving them to AO3).

That's when I first realised that some people here I don't even like, and they probably don't like me. I wondered, why are we following each other then? Why are we pretending to have any courtesy? It was only later that I realised that to be considered someone's friend, you have to reblog their work and preferably agree with them even when they write hurtful things.

Since I've depleted my circle of those I follow to about 20 people, since I've blocked dozens of people and tags, there's been blissful silence (with the exceptions of when I write about behaviour in the fandom that I find toxic and someone accuses me of causing drama, but I'm used to it now). I've also never written happier than I do now.

Ideas come to me on their own, I don't feel uptight about what other big people will think of me, whether they reblog it, approve of it or not. I don't give a shit and life is beautiful! Although I can be emotionally unstable, I'm only 70 people short of crossing the next milestone of 3,000 followers, and that's BIG for me. It amuses me that I keep getting messages that someone is going to block me or stop following me, and you guys keep coming. It's gratifying.

I'm going to keep writing for you guys, and I'm sure during season two you'll also see my posts describing my impressions after the episodes in which I hope to involve my husband. I'll also keep you updated here on how I'm doing with my book I'm creating in my private life.

Apreciation

@ewanmitchellcrumbs

Ange. I know that sometimes I'm fucked up, but I want you to know that you've made this place so much more bearable for me that I can't imagine it without you. What I appreciate most about you is that you can talk and discuss, that you always try to understand the other side, that you are empathetic, warm and kind. I feel that, like friends in everyday life, we can also tell each other about things we disagree about, and there are not many people like that here.

On top of that, you are very talented and your stories are always a pleasure to read, even when they are short, you are able to build the plot and atmosphere perfectly, something I have always admired. Thank you for every kind word and understanding.

I still remember your first message to me via ask, referring to the fact that I didn't want to write a pairing with a mermaid because someone else was writing about it at the same time. My heart melted then, it was so nice!

@targaryenrealnessdarling

Liz, Queen of Angst! Your calmness and composure puts me in awe. You're disgustingly talented when it comes to writing and you have a super-sweet personality. When you started following me I began to squirm with delight, and when you started reblogging my stuff? My goodness!!!

@persephonerinyes

You've been engaging and reblogging my stories for as long as I can remember. Always involved, your thoughts make me smile. Thank you for being with me for so long!

@zenka96

You've been here with me since the dawn of time. You know that I love you. Your support from the very beginning really makes me feel like I have a friend here.

@huramuna

I am so proud of you! I remember your asks when I wrote Glass Cuts Deepest, your illustrations for me and your uncertainty about whether you should start writing yourself. I'm so happy for you and that you are so successful! You deserved it.

@black-dread & @aegonx

You are my favourite gif makers. Your work always leaves me in awe, you are amazing! I know how much work you put into it and somehow you make even the worst lit scenes look wonderful!

@summerposie; @0eessirk8; @melsunshine; @immyowndefender; @bellaisasleep; @kckt88; @thedamewithabook; @happinessinthebeing; @queenofshinigamis; @travelingmypassion; @mefools; @fan-goddess; @toodlesxcuddles; @ammo23; @troublesomesnitch; @mariahossain; @out-of-life; @apothe-roses; @heavenhatesme; @whitearemydarkestnight; @liv-cole; @blackswxnn; @echos-muses; @watercolorskyy; @at-a-rax-ia; @tssf-imagines; @snh96; @hiatuswhore; @exitpursuedbyavulcan; @darylandbethfanforever9; @the-dendrophile-bookdragon; @opheliaas-stuff @zaldritzosrose

Your comments and reblogs make me want to keep writing. You make me laugh, you comfort me and you support me. I know I'm definitely forgetting someone, but I want you to know that I love everyone who comments on my stories and there is nothing better for me than responding to your reactions and questions! I have known some of you for so many months that I truly consider you my good friends!

lottie-blue-star; aveatquevale-; aemondtargaryenwifey marvelescvpe; alphard-hydraes-blog; herejusttostan; li0nn3stuff; alexandrawho; vilmakamunen; angelinap09; theloveablestargirl; rose-blue-19; xxxkat3xxx; flosaureum; mandiiblanche; librawh0re; jasminecosmic99; ivvypg; rojocarnation; killmanduh; tokkiiidoll; wolfdressedinlace; angelofvivianne; nina2697; starwarsgirlsimmer1; katsucker; ipostwhtifeel; aemondsdelight; ilswemoon; tigrigri; pasta-rask; roselibrary; lystargs; gemini-mama; nikstrange; tempo-rary-fix; coffeeobsessedtrencher; gwuinivyre; dreamerbythewayx; diiickbrainn; mothmankit

And everyone else I missed and whose icons I would recognize from afar. I know that you have been with me for many months, often in silence or communicating anonymously. Your silent support and presence is something wonderful for me, knowing that you have been with me for so long and read all my posts!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!

#one year anniversary #celebration

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bonefall · 5 months

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Hey Bones! Sorry if this is a bit random to ask you, but-

Is it ok if you elaborate and/or explain how Millie is ableist towards Briarlight please?

I haven’t really heard much people within the fandom talk about Millie’s treatment of Briarlight and her disability as negative and/or bad compared to Millie not really paying attention to Blossomfall within the books.

So I’m interested what you know and/or have to say about it.

OH boy, I feel like this one is REALLY easy to see if you just pop the book open. It will make your skin crawl once you see these quotes. Millie is an AWFUL mother and SHOCKING in how nasty she is to her disabled child.

I run in some pretty good circles and curate my Tumblr experience well, so I see plenty of people just mentioning it as a fucked up thing the series did casually, but I'll make a compilation of the worst of it.

(CW for some serious ableism, Millie is terrible.)

She's injured in Chapter 11 of OotS Book 2: Fading Echoes, and Millie is obsessive over her until Chapter 9 of OotS Book 3: Night Whispers. She's interfering with Jayfeather's treatments, constantly in the den, shouting at him when he tries to be honest about Briarlight's condition.

But that would be understandable. She's concerned and the prognosis isn't great. Her very young, athletic daughter (basically 17-ish) has suddenly received a life-altering injury that will drastically affect her life. Until Night Whispers Chapter 9, she's just worrying about her daughter.

And then we get this.

(Please note this is happening in front of the entire Clan. The entire social group is watching this.)

Though Briarlight expressed frustration with her exercises and how painful and difficult recovery was in Fading Echoes, that is not the case in Night Whispers. At this point, it's difficult but Briarlight is recovering well. MILLIE decides that her daughter being alive with a disability is suffering.

Note how in this exchange, Jayfeather is being forced to comfort Briarlight's MOTHER. Not BRIARLIGHT herself, the one with the injury who is looking at a massive upheaval to her life. Though superficially it seems like this is coming from a place of love, Millie is making Briarlight's recovery about herself by doing this, and this exchange is ableist.

Millie: "I want her to do all of these able-bodied things."

Jay: "That will not happen, but life has inherent value."

Millie: "No it doesn't, if you cannot do those able-bodied things, you are suffering."

But it gets worse because it's not even that she's only expressing this in private. Her daughter is within earshot. The newly disabled person is listening to their own fucking mother call her medical treatment "dragging out her suffering."

BURN this passage into your mind. Having heard her OWN FUCKING MOTHER cry to a crowd of cats that maybe it would be better if she was DEAD, watching several cats drop everything to comfort HER for having a disabled daughter, Briarlight has to drag herself out and act like a cute baby to get her to stop making a public spectacle.

It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't been in the situation before, but if your parent is making a scene like that, it'll end up falling onto you to "appeal" to their sense of... parental valor, is the best way I can put it. "See? Aren't I getting better? I promise I'll work hard. I'm not hurt it's okay! Everything is fine!" You give them a chance to affirm how good of a parent they are, for helping you, or 'putting up' with you. You have to assure them that your existence isn't so bad.

In essence, it falls onto the child to comfort their parent.

This is specifically a form of a toxic family dynamic called emotional parentification, on top of it being obviously ableist. She is being shoved into a position where she needs to sacrifice her OWN need for support and comfort to coddle her parent, to STOP her from making a scene, while that parent screams that her disabled life is worth less than her siblings' abled ones to a crowd of cats.

Naturally, this affects Briarlight's sense of self-worth. She stops eating.

Thankfully, Jayfeather is here to have an exchange about how her life has value. For all my issues with Jayf in later arcs, he has some of his best moments here in OotS.

In later books, Briarlight's struggles with self-worth continue. It's all shit that Millie implied about her being less useful because she is unable to do what her siblings can.

It's every other cat who has to come in and assure Briarlight that she isn't worthless. Not Millie. Millie comes on screen and she's either making Briarlight feel like garbage or barking at Jayfeather for not doctoring hard enough.

She desperately craves independence. This above scene is happening because she wanted to come out into the woods for the first time in forever, and she's being suffocated and bossed around in the camp constantly. It was up to her brother, Bumblestripe, to do anything to help her.

Not her dad. Not her mom. Bumblestripe. (Rare Bumblestripe W)

I also want to take a brief moment to point out a detail that the fandom often forgets, about Blossomfall. She actually knows full well that her feelings are unreasonable here, and she believes that the fact she isn't feeling "what she is supposed to" is proof that she is a bad person who deserves hell.

Millie's actions are crushing ALL of her children under its weight. Briarlight is obviously getting the worst of it, but these are YOUNG adults, just out of apprenticeship, and Blossomfall is being told that her sister is in a constant state of "suffering." This means she's not allowed to be frustrated about how Millie is behaving, because hating THAT means you hate your sister, and that makes her an awful person.

What Blossomfall is describing here is the feelings associated with being a glass child.

But no it's not JUST that she's being neglectful to Blossomfall, who yes, is a young adult and can take responsibility for her own actions. Millie is being nasty to Bloss too, directly comparing her to Briarlight and unironically doing the "You should be GRATEFUL you can walk when BRIARLIGHT WOULD DO ANYTHING TO LEGS AROUND."

Again. I'll state the very obvious from the passage.

"Hey Millie, your other daughter looks kinda upset right now!" = "PERFECT TIME TO SNAP AT HER"

Blossomfall = Wasted her morning when she should be Useful

Useful = Can hunt

"YOUR SISTER wouldn't act like this"

Proper warrior = spends every waking minute in service of the clan

Once again, Millie does this in public, with several people watching her rip into her child. She even gets ANGRY at Brackenfur gently trying to soften the blow. It's freakjob shit to hear, "h-hey, at least they're safe!" and SNARL back "IS IT?"

Millie continues to hover over Briarlight well into Bramblestar's Storm. The closure for these intense, insulting comments, public embarrassments, snapping at and neglecting one child while telling the other one that her life was "suffering" because she can't walk is.....

millie watches her do some pull-ups and is so impressed by them she isn't bigoted anymore :o)

"my daughter's membership at British Planet Fitness paid off. Look at how big her biceps are now. I guess I was wrong to tell her that her life is inherently suffering because she can't hunt, just look at her gooooo"

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So, basically, Millie's a terrible parent. She never gets properly called out for this manipulative, toxic behavior. She says that her own daughter might have been better off dead in public. She makes Briarlight feel like half of a cat because she can't do all the things her siblings do, while her siblings are told that they should be grateful they're not disabled like Briarlight.

And just to end off, because it's relevant, the BRAND NEW writing team then killed off Briarlight in an incredibly stupid, insulting way. She catches fucking Greencough in AVoS so that they can have a very sad funeral for a couple of chapters, before moving on to Jayfeather being a shithead to Alderheart for being friends with Velvet.

Then they wrote a line in Squirrelflight's Hope where Squilf's mother begs her to stay dead in heaven, because if she goes back to life, she might be disabled like Briarlight and her mate Bramblestar won't want her anymore. The line was so bad the authors promised that it wouldn't be there in reprints; the reprint still has not come.

normal series.

#warrior cats analysis #Briarlight #CW Ableism #Cw bigotry #CW jesus christ I feel like this needs more tags because it's SO bad

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magmythedevil · 4 months

Text

TW: mention of grooming & sexual assault Please dont read If this topic makes your uncomfortable

Quite of a long test ahead. Sorry

Listen, i dont want to sound rude or anything, but everytime someone on the murder drone fandom (twt specifically) gets outed as a groomer, sexual predator, or Just someone who has caused harm to other people in general MD fans on twitter always turn these types of situation into a:

"LMFAO murder drone fandom suck ass!! I hate you all!!!!!! im out of here for real!!!!!"

"i love murder drones But i hate this fandom"

And ...no... Please....dont.

I know these guys are all just teenegers just like me and may or not may have good intentions when they say this, But i have an awful truth about to say about these situations;

Those groomers and sexual predators are not on the fandom bc they are interested on the show and just happen to be groomers just because. They are on the fandom bc they know murder drones Its the type of show that attracts vulnerable teenegers and kids

Stop making these type of situations into a fandom thing, bc Its something serious. These groomers are not genuine fans of the show (most of the time) theyre here to make victims

And yes, these groomers are capable o spending months building their murder drones fandom accounts just to befriends the minors on the fandom, even If theyre not even acctually interested on the show.

Im tired of seeing groomers in the fandom getting outed and then some minutes after some corny;

"lmfao, in out here, im just gonna be a normal account now lolll"

"muted all the words related to murder drones <33333"

"wait??? Thad the cool guy is a groomer??? Cant this fandom be normal for once???"

tweets pop up taking the focus away from the real problem.

Some predators using the show to make their victims doesn't automatically turns the fandom into "an awful place full of disgusting people" and its because of that generalization that these events keep repeating themselfs.

Theres some assholes and toxic people on the fandom? Yes totally. I saw toxic envy shippers trying to turn nuzi into a """pedo coded"""" ship in real time.

But, this is difference, a groomer disguising themselfs as a fandom member is not a fandom problem or drama, and doesn't automatically makes the an entire group of people bad.

If the fandom knew how to handle these types of situations Instead of making;

"block this disgusting murder drones fan!!!!!!! Loll im so tired of this fandom, in out"

posts, people should make;

"therese another predator out there, Please everyone be carefull and block all of their accounts and i feel so sorry for all the victims"

(they do make these posts, but get quickly overshadowed by the fandom focused corny ones)

Things would be so much better.

Remember the murder drones strike thing? The fandom could make a campaingh similiar to that but focused on spreading awareness about predators that use murder drones to attract kids. Its a sad truth, But only facing reality is a way to make things better

Maybe that happens bc MD is the first fandom these people have ever been at, so they don't know how to react to these type of things but trust me i have seen fandoms that are much worst who have had terrible things happening out there.

Anyways, this is all i had to say, sorry if Its kinda confusing, english is not my first language, but i hope i made a clear point here a least

#murder drones #murder drones n #murder drones uzi #liam vickers animation

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scarefox · 1 year

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The way some people straight up deny soft criticism of the BL industry (stuff that isn't even a secret if you don't close your eyes and ears!!!) Criticism by literally LGBTq people working in said BL industry in Thailand..... basically one of the only ones who's voice are most valid here in this discourse. That's not hypocrism of people working in the industry to open their mouth! That's called self-awareness and using this genre to convey a message and trying to fix issues. This is about Step by Step and Lovely Writer atm. But those are not the only dramas who brought up some critic but somehow people get salty now about that little poke from SbS? Did you sleep the past 3 years?? And it's not a coincident that it's always the same topics certain BL dramas brought up!

I feel like some people here don't get that you can criticize your own work place, your own industry, your own country WITHOUT hating, shaming or demonizing it completely! Yall need stop this black & white thinking and the constant urge to feel personally attacked by something like this...

Especially the message of LW (the same people who make SbS now) was that there is nothing wrong about loving BL stories and they do like producing them. BUT that there are some things in the industry that are bad and harmful NOT ALL OF IT, SOME THINGS! Like the treatment of actors and certain topics by companies and producers. And the main theme of LW: the toxic overstepping and overcontrolling shipping culture that can (and did) destroy real life relationships / friendships under the weight of the pretend relationship (pretend as in they are not dating for real (everyone knows that! or should know that! this is also not even a secret if you watch interviews outside of the fun and couple game shows) at least in most of the cases.... in some rare ones yes, in some very rare cases some actors actually date but they are too afraid to come out due to homophobia and the way the industry & fandom treats those cases (source Dr. Thomas Baudinette who studies the industry as a form of queer asian media and interviewed companies and actors since years... somewhere in this he talks about actor relationships, I can't find the time stamp atm))

ALSO the point about exploiting the LGBTq community is NOT about the fans or LGBTq audience who love these dramas. But about businesses and literal Thailand itself. For using those stories and actors / couples for advertising, for marketing, for tourism even. BUT at the same time some don't care for real life LGBTq issues and rights or the fact that Thailand is still not agreeing on equal marriage (which is not just about them not being able to marry but they get denied a lot of things married couples get. alone the fact that they can't see their partner in the case of an emergency in the hospital because 'they are not family'). In the said SbS scene they were literally discussing which pretend couple has the most fans and how they could use their fandom and fan clubs to gain profit. Don't you guys get how fucking frustrating this is for the LGBTq people and allies who work in the BL industry, to get paraded in front of the camera for money and image but still don't get treated equally??? THAT is what they mean with exploiting.... And it's a lot of producers, writers and some actors who voice those points, not just these few self-aware BL dramas. But doing it through the medium they adress is the best way to reach the right people, to make the right people aware and ask for their support. Since they can't say such things directly (even though they should) unless they want to lose their job, they still like to a degree.

And I am sorry but the opinion of actual thai people who are inside that industry is more valid than some random fan who just doesn't want to understand those things in order to enjoy their shows without feeling bad.... What if I tell you that you can do both and that this is not about shaming you or making you feel guilty (unless you participate in toxic overstepping behavior or are actually LGBTq-phobic, then yes feel guilty)! Acknowledging issues, supporting to fix those issues and still have fun with these dramas and actors.... Those things can and do coexist and nobody said otherwise!!

#damn i said i stay away from discourse and I am not here to discuss but I have to say something about this since I saw some bs #sorry my patience is very thin the past months and I am so damn tired of stupid discourse #rant #bl drama #bl actors #step by step the series #Tee Bundit Sintanaparadee #tee bundit #salt post

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thirdeyeblue · 4 days

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“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”

I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.

Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨

When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.

While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.

In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):

He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.

Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.

He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.

And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.

Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.

(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)

Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…

His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.

It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:

He is still in love with Rose.

(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)

Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.

But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.

Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.

I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.

So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.

But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.

“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”

-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!

Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!

Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.

The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.

But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.

#I'm paranoid af about posting this but also feel like maybe two people will read it so perhaps I'm safe #doctor who #tenth doctor #ninth doctor #rose tyler #martha jones #baby's first meta #dw meta #I hope this wasn't just a mess of discombobulated stream-of-consciousness chatter #try as I may to avoid it #I'm somehow still aware of the sea of bad fandom vibes surrounding almost every character mentioned #besides Nine - who for some reason seems to be above reproach #there's a painful absence of civil discourse #especially where shipping is concerned #but let me tell you #I've vibed with T/M people about T/R and T/R people about T/M and it is a beautiful thing #I wish we could all just get along #also I've got so many more thoughts about this topic #like an embarrassingly long list of thoughts #I tried to scale it down as best I could while also being as inoffensive as possible #gonna crawl back under my rock now #also you should all go read Peacemaker #best DW novel since the Stone Rose #good god

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for trying to block evade?

This happened several years ago, so I'll put the ages that we were at the time.

I [17F at the time], had an extremely close friend [17F] of 3+ years, and I still haven't found any kind of friendship that came close to the level of trust / openness that was there. So some of this backstory ranges from 14yrs to 17yrs.

My home was abusive, and she and her mom helped me figure out what was rational vs irrational, normal vs not normal, and pointing out local resources to get help - which was absolutely amazing and I could not thank them enough.

She invited me to her house pretty regularly, a couple times a week. We'd have hours of skype calls. She got me roped into Undertale & the fandom. Well, not that we really interacted with the fandom at large. We only publically posted some of the art and barely got noticed haha. Between the two of us, we had something like 26 AUs and had a lot of rp with multiverse shenanigans - like over 1200+ pages of google docs rp, because that's where we did like 90% of it. After we hit like 100-200 pages, we'd make a new doc so it wouldn't take so long to load. And we had like, at least like 9 docs I think. I was mostly in it for her, because it was really fun to just make up stories together. I could've done it with any fandom she threw at me, undertale is just the one that was popular at the time.

At one point, I think when we were around 16, I asked her if she wanted to start dating. She said something along the lines of maybe in the future, but not right now - she wanted to focus on school. Even though she declined at the time, she did say she appreciated me asking and that it meant a lot to her. And there were 0 hard feelings about the answer, we just kept on going the way we were going.

She got hit with a really bad level of depression, and stopped coming to school. After 2-3 days, I started calling her every day around lunch time just to check in on her and see how she was doing. See if there was anything I could do to help - bring some snacks, catch her up on classwork for the couple classes we shared, stuff like that. This was for couple months. More than just a mental health day, and the only reason she gave was Depression.

After a week or two of the daily calls, there was probably an aspect of toxic positivity on my end. Like "You gotta Do Something to avoid being trapped in your misery, even if it's just baby steps like sitting outside on the porch or going on a walk down the block" Not maliciously, but more out of not knowing how to handle a situation like this & genuinely wanting to help her because of all the help she's offered me in the past & fueled a little bit by fear because Depresssion is the excuse that my abusive parents used to justify their shitty behavior & neglect. Not because I was afraid of what she'd do to me, but more what she'd do to herself. That's one of the only things I could think where I went wrong, which I completely acknowledge and understand now.

She was still inviting me to her house, and we were still doing our normal thing there. Drawing and writing stories together.

After 4-5 weeks [? estimate, time is an illusion] of her not showing up to school, I can't remember if I asked if it was helpful or if she suggested that I stop calling every day. Calling every day was making her feel worse.

I did end up calling the next day or two at lunch - crossing the boundary was not my intent. We had planned to hang out on the weekend again, lunch is just when I remembered & had time to call to ask if she still wanted to hang out or if she wanted some space. I think she said yes to hanging out, didn't mention anything about crossing the boundary. Same with the next day - there was something I needed to ask clarification on, it wasn't a check in, nothing was mentioned of the boundary. I can't remember what it was now. This is another one of the places where I think I went wrong, which I acknowledge & understand.

I did stop the check ins like requested though. After those two off days, I did stop calling her every day at lunch.

She finished out the school year having shown up to class maybe 3ish times, I think.

Again, we were still hanging out regularly. There was no indication that I was doing anything wrong, there was no indication that anything I was doing was wrong. She was still the one inviting me to hang out at least half the time.

There were some problems that I was noticing that I just wanted to have a casual chat about and figure out, but she kept pushing it off as a "I don't have the energy right now, we can talk about it later" and we'd go back to the fun things. I don't really remember what those problems were.

In the summer, I went to a different state to visit my older sister that I hadn't seen in years. I talked to her about it, I was excited for it. We were still chatting regularly during my trip over skype or discord.

And then, during my trip that I was so excited about, she drops this bombshell. She sends me several massive messages detailing out a bullet point list of everything I've done wrong, that she's explicitly breaking off the friendship, and blocks me. 95% of things on that list either flat weren't true, or gross misunderstandings of what happened.

It was genuinely horrible things too.

For example, one of the things on the list was "Suicide baiting" or "Suicide guilt tripping" or something along those lines, which had happened several months if not a year before this. -I've only ever communicated feeling acutely suicidal to her 1 time. -Long before that, she made me promise that if I ever felt suicidal that I was supposed to immediately talk to her about it, for her own peace of mind so she wouldn't worry about me. -I reached a point of feeling acutely suicidal due to abuse at home & general existential dread, that happened to be during a time we had an issue.

I purposefully waited until after the issue was resolved, like 2 weeks, before telling her. I did that specifically so it would not be taken as a guilt trip or a form of coercion while still holding as true as I could to my promise. She made me promise to tell her, it was something very important to her. I made very clear to say "this is something I experienced a couple weeks ago due to unrelated things, it is resolved now, I got help through xyz means and genuinely feel better. You made me promise to tell you so I am telling you, I didn't want to say anything while we were having a problem for xyz reason." I just wanted to talk, and clear up the misunderstandings. I wanted to have a good conversation about figuring out where the communication went wrong, try and figure out how she came to these conclusions, and how that differs from my point of view. Do something to work it out, and just talk about it, and try and salvage this 3+ year friendship.

After I realized I was blocked, I was going through so so many emotions all at once. The whiplash of going from 5 to 100, Upset that I wasn't given any sort of chance to explain, the 5 stages of grief, being thrown away like the gum off your shoe, worrying about her and if this was the stage of isolation for depression, holding out the hope that we could still just talk and work things out, angry that she kept pushing off and refusing to have any sort of serious talk before this, doubting if anything she had said on 'normal vs not normal' - particularly communication styles, thoughts that maybe she was abusive and manipulative all along, maybe I was continuing the cycle of abuse, trauma flashbacks, anxieties that I had since squashed as 'irrational', fear that this was a sign that she was about to fucking kill herself and maybe the whole list was a lie so I wouldn't try and reach out and stop her, doubting my own reality and maybe the entire list she sent me was true and she was justified in her actions.

Simultaneously trying to process intense feelings and realities if it was true and I'm really secretly a horrible monster, if it wasn't true and she was about to die, and old traumas getting dug out of the grave.

God I was such an emotional wreck and did not know how to process or understand anything that was happening.

This is where the AITA comes in -

I was pushing through back to back panic attacks trying to contact her and figure out what was going on. I didn't want her to die, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to be discarded and thrown away like a piece of trash, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to have 0 chance of learning & growing as a person even if this friendship wasn't salvageable due to my monstrous nature, if that's what was happening.

So I block evaded like fckn crazy. Gmail, pet game sites, discord, skype, deviantart, whatever online platform that we shared that had messaging enabled. I called her phone several times. On the 3-4th call, her mom picked up and told me that none of the above was true. That she wasn't about to die, that I wasn't being thrown away like trash, and that I wasn't a monster. She didn't agree with her daughters actions and thought it unfair to me, but ultimately it was my friend's choice. All simultaneously which just did not compute.

If the list she sent me was true, I was a shitty horrible person. If it wasn't, and she isn't about to die, then not be able to just have a calm sit-down conversation at some point about it and clear it up - if I wasn't worth even attempting to make that effort then I was being thrown away like trash. I kept trying for days afterwards to talk to her - just, anything at all. Nothing got through, she never responded to anything.

And... that was that.

I didn't have a chance to talk to her again. I didn't have a chance to clear up misunderstandings, or understand what I did actually wrong and where, or any sort of closure.

Sometimes if I'm remembering it and feeling paranoid, I'll check and see if she's alive by looking at her online profiles for any activity. Like, maybe once a year tops now. According to the petgame sites, she's still alive at least. I'm assuming she got new social media. Literally it's just a "is she alive, do I have to worry about causing her suicide" check, I don't stalk or look into anything further than that.

Anyway, AITA for how extensively & desperately I was block evading?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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norclop · 1 year

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I'm sorry, but why have we stopped the field trips to the ghost zone tropes? I mean Peter Parker gets to go to Stark tower at least twice a week and we can't chug Danny into the infinite realms at least one a month?

And if it's because there are too many copies of the same story with slight variations, then spice it up. The realms hold an infinite amount of possibilities, hence the name.

Throw in some Amity Park is weird. Do the whole thing from the perspective of a visiting friend or relative that is just so scared and confused because this place is creepy and traumatizing and Danny's class is greeting ghosts like old friends and going around like they've been there before and surrounded by this big toxic green ocean, they look less human.

Do it like a normal field trip, but with some ghostliness. Take the class to clockworks tower or the different dead cultures for a history lesson, invite them to the beach and make it ghostly, take them to the zoo and show us every mythical creature the zone has collected over the years.

Do it with a crossover, make Danny's ghost parents stand there the whole trip and let it change the trope, what about a teachers perspective? And if it's retold to a parent after the fact how would that parent react?

There's a million things to explored that we haven't even touched upon. What are we doing wrong? Why are we wasting all this potential?

Edit: We made it! Field trip ia now day 15 of the dannymay event. Thanks ladies and gentlemen for giving this important part of the fandom a new chance.

#danny phantom #field trip #field trip to the ghost zone #the ghost zone #the infinite realms #why does spiderman get to keep his field trip trope and we don't?#dannymay

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froggywritesstuff · 1 year

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boyfriend | yandere! j.d.

Pairing: yandere!JD x g/n!reader

Warnings: yandere themes, toxic and unhealthy relationships, gas-lighting and manipulation, self harm, non-consensual kissing, strangling, kidnapping, mentions of suicide mentions of anxiety, swearing (please don't read if you're uncomfortable with any of these), this isn't proof read

Fandom: Heathers

Request: me

A/N: i do not in any way support yandere behaviour, please understand that this writing is purely fictional, and should not ever be reenacted in real life

'Ring, ring, ring, ring, r-' a sickly feeling took place in your stomach at the sound of your alarm. Anxiety filled your body at the thought of going to school. You just couldn't bear another day of being with JD. Which was saying something, considering the majority of people who attended Westerburg High made it seem like it was their goal to make everyone's life a living hell. Yet you were sick to your stomach with anxiety at the idea of seeing your boyfriend of all people.

Quickly devising a plan, you stumbled out of bed, the lack of tiredness you felt was disturbing, considering you barely got a wink of sleep the night before. You pulled open your closet door, carelessly pulling out an outfit, and changing into it.

"Y/N, are you up?" you heard your mother shout from the dining area. Hiding the worried tone in your voice as best as you could, you replied, saying yes. You grabbed your school bag, slinging it over your shoulders as you made your way into the kitchen, quickly shoving a piece of bread in the toaster, before waiting for it to cook.

Maybe it was the overwhelming anxiety you felt, or the toaster was just taking an extra long time to do its job, but whatever it was made it seem like forever before the piece of toast popped out of the toaster. Anxiety took over as your mind raced, worrying about all the things that could potentially happen in the time it took for the toast to finish, ranging from your boyfriend appearing out of thin air and finding some new way to mess with you, or your mum asking you if you were ok, resulting in you bursting into tears in front of them and having to explain what was wrong or quickly think up an excuse. Finally, you let out a sigh of relief at the sight of toast popping up. You quickly grabbed the piece, wincing at the hot feeling against your fingers, before hurrying toward the front door.

Calling out a quick goodbye to your mother, you shut the door behind you, before turning to your side before hurrying around your house, re-entering through the back door. Lying to your mum didn't feel good, but you figured it was better than having to endure whatever would come your way at school. After a few weeks of dating JD, you found yourself almost always feeling unsafe at school. Always feeling like someone was watching you. Not one second would pass where you wouldn't feel the anxiety growing in the pit of your stomach at the thought of your boyfriend. At the moment, your home was the only safe place for you, but even then you still worried about JD magically appearing at your front door. Weeks ago, if someone had told you that you would be going as far as skipping school to avoid JD, you would've laughed in their face. JD, who you couldn't stop staring at the first day you saw him? JD, who always had butterflies swarming in your stomach from just one smile? JD, who always knew how to comfort you when you were down? JD, who you honestly thought was your true love? Well fuck me dead, JD's a fucking manipulative psycho.

You hated to admit it. But even more than that, you hated admitting that some part of you still loved him. He terrified you. He constantly made you feel worthless when you were with him, yet you still loved him? Over the span of a month he completely isolated you from whatever friends you had, manipulated you into thinking he was the only person you needed, manipulated you into thinking that he couldn't live without you; even going as far to hurt himself in front of you. Yet part of you wanted to ignore all of that, and live 'happily ever after' with him. You knew that could never happen with him. Happily ever after with JD didn't exist, unless you wanted to throw away your life.

With a sigh, you felt some of the weight lift from your shoulders as you dropped your school bag on the floor, kicked off your shoes before climbing back into your bed. You knew running wasn't the best answer to your situation, but it at least gave you more time to think about what you would do when you next saw him.

Since dating JD, you quickly learned that he was possessive. At first, you tried being positive, and found it endearing. Was the idea of someone liking you so much that they were a little bit protective of you so bad? No, it wasn't. But JD wasn't 'a little bit protective'. You figured that out when you would catch him glaring at anyone who looked at you, let alone talk to you. But whenever you tried bringing up his possessiveness, protectiveness, or even just the glaring thing, he'd become defensive and find some way to act like the victim, showing you the cuts on his arms and say that he's just scared of you leaving him.

So confronting him wasn't the way to go about it.

There wasn't much left of the school year left, so you considered ghosting him, ignoring him until he got the hint, not speaking a word to him so he couldn't even try and manipulate you back in a relationship. But even with that idea, you didn't know how far he was willing to go. For all you knew, he'd have no trouble cornering you with a knife in his hands just to be with you.

The sound of a car engine outside your house made you flinch and sit up from your bed. Your breathing was heavy as you hurried out of the bed and raced to the window closest to the direction from where the sound came from, sighing in relief to see it was just your mother leaving in her car.

Whatever relief you felt before instantly vanished at the familiar sound of a slushie being slurped through a straw.

"You know, when I didn't see you at school, I figured you were sick or something, cause why the hell else would you leave me alone. But now I'm worried you might just be avoiding me.”

Your heart hammered in your chest at the sound of his voice, and you didn't dare turn around to face him as you replied, "Get out of my room." your voice was calm, contrasting to how you were feeling.

”So you are avoiding me.”

”I just don’t wanna talk to you right now.” you contemplated saying ‘right now’ but figured it was probably the safest option.

Your blood boiled at JD’s scoff, “I’m your boyfriend, Y/N, why the fuck wouldn’t you wanna talk to me?”

You couldn’t take it anymore. You turned around, facing JD with a glare, “Well I don’t want you to be my boyfriend anymore!” you shouted, an uneasy feeling forming in your stomach at how unfazed he looked at your comment.

”That’s crazy, you don’t-“

”Yeah, I fucking do! You-you’re manipulative, you’re controlling, I-I can’t remember the last time I felt happy being with you!”

His confidence faltered at that, “What do you mean, you’re not happy with me? Of course you’re happy. You love me.”

A shaky breath escaped your lips, “I do. But I know I shouldn’t. You’re a really bad boyfriend JD. Which is why you need to leave.”

You felt a shiver throughout your body as he set down his slushie and began walking toward you, “I'm not gonna leave, Y/N." your throat tightened when he came closer, backing you up against the wall, his cold hands cupping your face tightly as if to let you know you couldn't leave. You couldn't run or avoid him this time. Just the thought of that made you feel sick, "I'm your boyfriend. Which means I won't leave you. And you won't leave me either." with that, he smashed his lips onto yours, your muffled cries of protest only making him deepen the kiss. Your hands wrapped around his wrists, desperately trying to pull them off your face, using your nails to dig into his skin, until finally he pulled away, looking at you with a smile, making you feel even more uneasy.

"What's wrong, darling?" he asked, his innocent tone making your blood boil.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" you shouted, hot tears streaming down your face.

"What's so wrong with wanting to kiss your partner?" he asked, his smile turning to a smirk at your upset expression.

Gathering up all your strength, your hands pushed against his chest causing him to stumble, giving you enough time to sprint past him and through the door. You figured you must've been pumped up on adrenaline from how angry you felt, because you knew you'd never be able to push him off of you like that under normal circumstances.

You ran as fast as your legs could take you down the hallway. Heart racing, you feared you'd never make it to the front door. You didn't want to think about what would happen to you if you didn't.

You reached your arm out in front of you, gripping onto the door knob and pulling open the door, before it was immediately pushed shut. You winced as you saw JD's hand pressed against the door. Reluctantly, you turned around to face him. He didn't look like he was gonna open the door anytime. With a tired sigh, his hands slid down to your neck, his grip gradually getting tighter.

"You know, we could've just talked this out like a normal couple would, but you're the one who ran away from me. You brought this on yourself, Y/N."

Your hands began scratching at his as you felt the air slipping away from you. Every move you made to push him off you was futile against his strong grip, and you swear he was smiling because of it.

"Don't worry though," he began, "I'm not gonna kill you. I'd kill myself before I'd let you die." So far you were still worrying, "I just need you to be unconscious so I can take you away from here." He definitely wasn't very good at calming you down.

His figure became blurry and you couldn't tell if it was from the tears in your eyes or if you were starting to go unconscious.

You couldn't even react when he let go of your neck, letting you fall to the ground as your head collided with the tiled floor. Black began crowding your vision, and JD's voice filled your ears before you finally went unconscious.

"I'm gonna take good care of you, Y/N. Like a good boyfriend does."

buy me a coffee <3

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mixelation · 4 months

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i will also share with u the absurd toxicity (reborn au au (tm)) rpf lore developed with @waffliesinyoface

point one: obito would not be naturally drawn to fandom, but he IS a troll who likes absurd things, and it's important to him to know what's up with the people in his life. he has read the entirety of icha icha (more than once!) for the simple pleasure of sniping kakashi with a well-placed reference. when tori gets fixated on ninja rpf, he also obviously starts reading it so he can have fuel to tease her.

unlike kakashi's brand of obsession (which is PRIVATE, obito, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS), tori's obsessions crave interaction. you want to talk rpf with her? she is going to drag you down into a terrible vortex of rpf fixations

obviously "driven to making insane decisions for petty reasons" tori is obito's favorite tori. he is SO supportive of her ongoing war against the sasori girls.

obvious outcome of point one: obito becomes a kakashi girl

tori is SO supportive of his psychosexual kakashi obsession. she thinks him working through his feelings like this is good for him. also she likes reading fic

obito is not well-liked in kakashi fan circles when he's writing in under a pen name because he keeps writing kakashi as a damsel in distress in constant need of rescuing due to chakra exhaustion. fangirls hate this because kakashi should be cool and badass all of the time???

point two (horrible realization): in this au, obito retains his uchiha pretty privilege. he's also the infamous loose canon of the yellow flash's students. there's ABSOLUTELY insane fic about him

obito's favorite ship is obviously him/kakashi, but NO ONE writes it right???

yes he and tori are dating. no she doesn't care he keeps looking up kakashi/him. she knows what she signed up for.

in fact, tori inspires him!! if tori can go hunt down a random sasori rpf writer to argue with her, OBVIOUSLY he can go have a converastion with some obito writers and gently push them in the right direction!!

but he has to do it cool and mysterious, see, so they get him. he shows up in the dead of night in his super dramatic madara personality. he just wants to talk. he gives a dramatic speech and throws in some killing intent for Effect

obvious outcome of point two: everyone stops writing obito fic because they're terrified.

tori: realizes there's still READERS for obito fic but no writers

tori: that's free real estate

she's converting. she's an obito girl now. (obito: babe that's SO sweet of you)

NO ONE likes her obito fics either because she writes him as a deeply pathetic whackjob who cries during sex. she gets multiple replies that are like "when will obito show up to murder THIS writer"

instead of being normal she's like "FYI he DID show up in my bedroom but that won't stop me because I AM NOT A COWARD"

third, miscellaneous point: obito is shunned by fandom when he's a faceless person writing in. at in person meet-ups, people love him despite his rancid opinions because he is hot. :'(

tori: PUT THE MASK BACK ON I HATE THIS

obito in kakashi cosplay??? with kakashi's real clothes he stole???

i thought about writing a joke about them going to an in-person fic exchange and people not realizing they're together to mirror the ANBU Party Debacle. however i do not think this is the mood for Torito because they cannot physically resist bothering each other for more than 90 seconds at a time. obito shows up holding her hand so he can swing their arms like literal children. if he doesn't pay attention to her for long enough, tori WILL tug his hair/loose clothing/etc. he attempts to sit in her lap at least twice. they're both super into the other person's rancid headcanons. they are so fucking obnoxious

no one ever matches obito-in-person with obito-showing-up-to-harass-fic-writers because of the insanely different personalities

people are okay with obito in person despite his personality because he is. hot. and a man. and they're a group of mostly women who are attracted to men. do you see? but they still fucking hate tori

a rumor starts that the reason tori can write bonkers obito fic without him murdering her is that when he showed up to threaten her over it, she slept with him. so not only is she annoying, but she cheated on her hot boyfriend (obito) with famous ninja uchiha obito! she doesn't deserve either of them!!!

(obito: that's exactly what happened tho. i gave you my super cool and scary "write better fanfic" speech and you slept with me. <3 / tori, who will never EVER admit she found his stupid "madara" personality kind of hot: (tea kettle noises))

#reborn au au: it's gotten sillier #the torito content you crave!

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