#just xen things

[stay-xen]

what if tiktok celebrated the ides of march to the extent that we do here?

thousands of videos, half of the screen covered with "FAKE WEAPON", and captions like "pov: youre about to get un4l1v3d by your friends"

[harvestmoth]

Lo. Love your Rejuv art. Just wanted to ask if you have more ideas for the au where nothing goes wrong (lie) for Pokémon Rejuvenation.

thank you!! and im sorry to say i do not! im very bad at coming up with ideas but i would love to hear others ideas on anything, though i will say when i started posting about it i had a brief thought of flora, florin, and talon taking melia and the protag with them to terajuma when they cheak out the tyluric temple as like a way for them to. get to terajuma. but idk how well thatd work out continuity wise. or what the whole terajuma arc would be like because of it

[telebeast]

Not the safest place, huh? Originally a gif but ran into saving issues for tumblr. Made as a final for one of my classes.

[brittlebutch]

actually in retrospect hlvrai is a lot funnier if benrey is both Human and in the right.

like if i went to work and one of my coworkers from a different department blew up the building and kept yelling at me while we spent Days trying to get out of it i would Also flip my shit and wind up giving some bullshit monologue about all the shit i had planned to do after work before some clown blew it up with me inside it

[xen-xa]

Okay, I'll say it in the safety of Tumblr.

I don't feel like playing the new FF game because it has mandatory(?) sex scenes in it. I just... I don't like experiencing that. It makes me very uncomfortable.

And if I do somehow play it in the future, I'll be skipping those scenes. Don't care if it has important moments or dialogue, it's being skipped. Hopefully the game has a transcript or something....

[xenoraeth]

smoking in the fall/winter >>> smoking in the summer

[goingferalapparently]

dialogue taken directly from chapter 6 of @definitelynotshouting's fantastic fic, lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart).

(be mindful of the fic's tags!)

hi, its the anon with the doodles! only the doodles were a lie, because i blinked and suddenly i had the draft of a 3 page comic, and then i blinked again and it was 4 pages because the 3rd was overcrowded. and then there were colour palettes and scribbled notes and mockups of the colouring and. well. yeah. uhm. it got. more out of hand than i thought it would, really quickly too. xen be normal about your interests challenge failed.

but yes, the fic is absolutely amazing, definitely worth a read (or a reread. or 34 reads). it's heartwrenching in all the right ways and the prose is so vivid. the details. the details. and the worldbuilding on it is insane.

its only been like, 1.5 months? doesnt matter. lost in the dark has got to be up there on my list of comfort fics. which. uhm. is a weird thing to say. because the first additional tag is angst. and i just called it heartwrenching. um.

anyway!

anyway, hunger au has literally written itself into my brain and. consumed it. the proof is. uhm. the fact that this is a comic??? and that its complete??? do you know how many unfinished comic drafts there are in my folders.

i was so tempted to just. do the entire chapter. but i also know id never finish in that case. so.

[py6oto]

tumblr is doing the thing where it bugs out and doesnt listen to me again. sorry if this post gets weird of the images are out of order. i did not do that on purpose !!

XEN, PS+, SWEET VOICE, BATTLE, CHUCKECHEESE, GOODBYE and FREEDAY!!! FREEDOM!!!!

these are the remaining aitober prompts !! yes it's november. the universe did not want me to finish these on time ( T --- T )

but whatevs. here you go !!

i also wanted to thank you for all of your love and support. we just hit 700 on youtube and we're very close to 300 here on tumblr !!! if i could scream i would !!! unfortunately i designed my character to have no mouth. i never thought my art would be seen by such a large public. let alone be seen by a public at all !!! and such a supportive and lovely one at that !!! thank you all, really. if i could hug you all i would. or i could give you a pat on your back if you don't like hugs, or a little heart sticker if you don't like touch. or a

(sorry for the super long post and unorganized images. it seems that me changing these is whats messing the big posts up ... )

[internetskiff]

Breen's unfortunately pretty underrated amongst the Valve antagonists, which I suppose is understandable compared to the likes of GLaDOS or The Administrator, but just like those two I feel like there's plenty of things to talk about when it comes to him. He seems like a very conflicted character, especially if you take into account the BreenGrub account and Laidlaw's Epistle 3. First of all is, of course, the leadup to the Black Mesa incident, with the G-Man seemingly making an offer to Breen which seemingly involved overloading the Anti-Mass Spectrometer while processing an extremely pure sample of Xen Crystal - and yes, while it's pretty obvious that the order to overload the systems was very intentional and motivated by whatever deal they struck, I believe that when it comes to the aftermath he may have been sold on a lie. Considering his actions as Administrator of Earth being entirely in the interests of keeping Humanity from feeling the full force of the Combine, I don't think "Becoming the de facto leader of all of Earth" was on his agenda. Perhaps G-Man promised that whatever their deal would entail would bring about a prosperous future for humanity, perhaps all he promised was the possibility of establishing contact with another sentient species (which is something he technically did provide), or perhaps it was something else - there's simply way too much room for speculation there, I think.

A little detail from a HL:A newspaper implies that his position as Earth's administrator wasn't exactly handed to him on a silver platter, instead he had to go out of his way to reach out to the governments with information on how to communicate with the invaders, at which point, already beaten down by Combine forces, they simply gave him the all-clear to speak for all of mankind. This still begs the question of who, or what, gave him the knowledge of how to speak with them - however, it's safe to say if they didn't, Earth would've been left a smoldering pile of rocks and withered carcasses. Once again, he acts with Humanity's best interests in mind, having to choose between the lesser of two evils - it's either enslavement or extinction. He simply chose the option in which Humanity would survive, even if just for a little while longer.

And ever since, we're watching the aftermath. He's trying to talk the last generation of Humanity down, so they may either pass of old age or be absorbed into the Combine - at least if that happens, something gets preserved. Once again, the alternative? They'll just wipe the slate once they get the local teleportation technology they desire. Breen sees no other way than to go along with their demands. He's eventually proven wrong, of course, but he refuses to see the Rebellion as anything but a suicidal march towards the extinction of the human race, and he sticks to that belief up until he is killed by Gordon at the tip of the Citadel. Of course, this doesn't make him a good person. Not at all. This belief has lead him to seek out and destroy anyone who tries to resist. He shows no sympathy to them. He paints them as fools. He himself believes it so. This intense hatred for anyone who resists is seen perfectly in how he treats the Vance family. He views them as fools. As narrow-minded rabble in the streets, senselessly struggling against a tide beyond their comprehension. He's willing to send off a father and his daughter into a world far beyond simply to use them as a bargaining chip. Listening to the two comfort eachother as they're almost raised up to a fate surely worse than death, the only expression on his face is that of pure contempt and annoyance. He's a very fascinating character that I wish Valve would explore again if they ever do another Half Life set during a time period in which he was still alive. He's a coward that easily bends to the oppressor, yet in the end he only does it to make sure something survives. He's cruel to those who resist because he's completely convinced they're going to get everyone killed. He is the Combine's perfect puppet.

haha anyhoo so why was he straight up serving on the magazine covers in HL:A like what was up with all that

[stay-xen]

Project: Eden's Garden

since i've seen several people post their opinions regarding the new danganronpa fangame's cast, why not join in since i finished the prologue?

spoilers for the prologue and predictions up ahead!

Damon Maitsu First of all, making the protagonist the ultimate debater is a really clever idea to make him lead the trials. also he's such a dick. i love him. he reminds me of early chapters byakuya and i want him to realise that he needs to trust the others to stay alive. very interesting approach for a protagonist imo

Eva Tsunaka My girl, i already love her. i feel like she'll make a grat 'rival' character, especially with her talent and animal motif. although wolfie might be the rival? not sure about it yet. i do believe that she will be alive for a while, maybe even sacrificing herself for the group in the end

Desmond Hall I trust him with my life. He has a SHARK motif, of course i'm going to trust him. he seems like such a good boy so i assume that he will become a victim sooner or later. if he ends up being a blackened i WILL cry

Eloise Taulner I am going to protect her with everything i have. very shy and anxious, i assume she will find strength eventually and become more confident, possible after losing somebody close to her? swan motif is very sweet for her :c

Toshiko Kayura My daughter is definitely compensating for being young, trying to be more mature than she is. i adore her getting flustered when called out, i hope that she will survive. she's a baby so pleaaase

Wenona step on me. i don't trust her, at all. she seems like a mirror for Damon, so my current guess is that she might become a blackened (or victim, either way i think it might involve cassidy)

Ulysses Wilhelm My useless son, i love him. he's so smart yet so dumb. please stay safe. current guess is first victim, sadly. idk he hasn't really done much yet :C

Mark Berskii I ADORE HIM i love his design and his attitude. "call the fire brigade, Grace" hasn't left my mind yet. such a simple line, yet i love him. strong connection to Jet already, i assume Mark will be a survivor that gets drive after Jet dies?

Diana Venicia Oh i wish i could trust you, love. something about her talent having to do with make up (covering up/identies, etc) and the chameleon motiv really makes me worry about her. i don't think she's the mastermind, but i believe she might be a blackened. maybe first chapter even?

Wolfang Akire i do not trust you but i will forgive you everything you do. this man has me in a chokehold and i'm not complaining. there's something about him being a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' i KNOW it and i can't wait to see it. his extreme sense of justice in the mock class trial was very interesting to see and i assume it will only be more extreme in actual trials. potential rival, i fear he will not survive. maybe a blackened, having to go against his principals for a certain motive? he's so polite though, especially to Eloise :c

Kai Monteago My fail son, my wet paper back, my beautiful butterfly. i saw him and fell in love, i can't wait to see more of this idiot. although i hope for character development, my current feeling is that he is going to die :c yet at the same time i can see him be a survivor (like hiro, souda being the clueless one, although i know they're not following the usual scheme)

Jett Dawson I've had this wolf for like 4 hours but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone in this academy and then myself. SO precious, SO dumb, i can't wait to see him get closer to Mark and ultimately get my heart broken. Current guess: victim

Ingrid Grimwall awooga. strong woman yes. on a serious note, i like that she's rather feminine and still strong, but i haven't seen enough of her yet to form a proper opinion :c could see it go either way with her tbh

Grace Madison soybean. i adore her, she doesn't have a single braincell and is currently trying to steal Wolfgang's. a real one for trying to fight back AND being able to actually get the jump on Tozu. No high hopes for survival though ngl :c

Jean Delamer If he ends up being a blackened, i'll be sad. he seems like such a nice guy, very safe, very brrr. also a whole ass dragon motif??? how cool is that??? he really feels like a safe space for the group, both mentally and physically so i hope we get to see a lot of him!

Cassidy Amber The only valid rich person. LOVE the spiderweb clothes. wouldn't be surprised if she kills Wenona or dies trying lmao. not the smartest tool in the shed but i love gaming references so i'm more than happy. it IS a stepladder.

Tozu Why is he hot. he's not supposed to be hot i hate it here (/s). didn't expect him to look like this but i am more than happy with the design. please show me more of him

Mara WHO ARE YOU i wanna see you more and talk to her and aaaaa she's mysterious OwO

[janichroma]

🎉Q/A Answers!🎉🎉

There's a lot to parse here! Warning that there are some spoilers of current content in here! So please tread carefully!

Q1.) I'm very curious about Death Wings. Do all of them exist in a similar state to Robo-Ren, where their true bodies are asleep and they pilot a mechanical suit, or is there something that differentiates them?

Ren is an exception. He's the only one who pilots a separate body. The others are in their own!

Q2.) Which Rejuv characters would be most likely to start a podcast together?

Adam and Valarie probably have a lot of deep 3 am conversations so with a little help from Saki, those two would def make a podcast. Other highlights are Saki+Erick and maybe Texen by himself because he just talks about how women are objects or something i dunno.

Q3.) Are you absolutely sure this is a good idea? Are you being held hostage?

I deadass thought i was gonna get 10-20 questions at most..... So yeah its a good idea.

Q4.) So, half servants. They’ve been so confusing to me. Until 13.5 I was just under the assumption servants were just infertile lol. So, do half servants like…. Inherit any powers or anything from their servant parent? Like, the ability to teleport and things like that.

Servants cannot reproduce when they're first created/in their generic form, but when they transform into their own person they gain a soul and they are then able to reproduce because they're just like any other person. It's just that their origins are different. Servants can still use their magic, but their children cannot. Although, I bet their children -do- inherit some traits from their Servant parent. Probably like just having above average strength/speed etc. That's not universal, though.

Q5.) How come Tesla doesn't let Amber bring us to the villa after the gym battle now?

Well... When two people love each other very much...

Q6.) Do the executives of Team Xen and most importantly Ren have the green gem somewhere on their body that marks them as members of Team Xen?

I wonder...

Q7.) I know in the past, you said that you haven't seen any correct guesses as to the identity of Madame X. Has that changed since the release of 13.5?

Pretty close, but no cigar.

Q8.) would crescent like yuri/gl

I banish you to the hungry worm dimension.

Q9.) i know that some characters, namely tesla (and maybe jolene?) call themselves "honorary" members of the elite 8. is there any specific reason for that? also can roboren run doom this is important.

There's no specific reason other than it soundin' fancy. Roboren can run tetris so maybe!

Q10.) What are the perks/ benefits of joining Team Xen? ( asking for a friend )

Amazing health care, and amazing investments in your 401k.

Q11.) I wanted to ask, which character has, for you, the most chance to surprise us in future updates? Be it badly or greatly.

i can't answer this because it gives too much implicit information!!! Sorry!!

Q12.) what pokemon teams (or just ace pokemon) would characters you don’t ever battle have? for example, volta, eizen, martin, rune, eden, etc? will we ever fight any of them?

I don't want to answer this either because we will probably have an opportunity to fight -most- of these people here, but for Rune it's already established to be Rapidash (Ace), and Eden would probably have a Blissey somewhere.

Q13.) How close of friends are Amber and Crawli? I wanted to ask since they're both Gym Leaders of Terajuma and around the same age, especially when Tesla and Amber moved to Telia after the incident.

They're not too close. They know of each other, and have spoken, but it's mostly a "friendly landlord" kind of relationship. They only talk when it's necessary... Not that Crawli is a landlord, or has any bearing on Teila.

Q14.) Hihi, what are somethings that have changed from version v12 (and also v13) that you really like/are proud of? And are there things you miss from previous versions, but you had to get rid of for any reasons? (I'm personally absolutely in love with the redone Terajuma stuff and especially Crawli, and also the redone Ryland scenes but that's because I'm biased.)

Terajuma 100%. I LOVE Terajuma now. I used to really despise it, evidently. But I think it's so fun and has a lot of nice moments. Valor Mountain still sucks, though. I have a huge urge to simplify that place, but then i'd have to redo a certain scene later and i dont wanna bc it's already perfect. Suffering from success... As for things I miss from previous versions... I can't think of any right now because I love where we're at rn so I guess I don't miss anything? There are certain scenes like Melia with her long hair flowing, but outside of small instances like that, nah!

Q15.) If in the nightmare school "Jean" was able to manifest flora's explosives from the dreams of GDC's citizens... Where could he have manifested A Gun from??

Probably the police station, tbh.

Q16.) What's your personal favorite part of the game thus far?

Honestly Chapter 2 -> to the end of Terajuma is so much fun to me. Not that the other chapters aren't, but that part is comfy. I also love Renegade Route chapter 0.

Q17.) Now if I'm remembering correctly, you mentioned that Venam was supposed to be just a side character at first. What made you decide to change her role into such a major one? Also how did the Melia/Venam come about?

Yeah so, Beth was actually in Venam's spot if you can believe that. Yes, the same one that sells Moo-Moo Milk. We already had a prominent blonde character and Beth wasn't boring or anything, she just didn't add a fun dynamic with Melia. Although back then the formula was more rebornified. Meaning characters rarely traveled together and they kind of just showed up when they needed to. Now characters are constantly always traveling with you and stuff. Not that the old format is bad, it's just a different take. I brought Venam back because she's Melia's best friend and it felt real weird that she was not involved -at all- compared to her and Ren. Their relationship came about because.. Well, I kinda just knew. Venam was always a lesbian in my head, and Melia is def the character that would love anyone if they gave her the chance to love them. It just felt right?

Q18.) 1) When was Eizen conceptualized? 2) What is one funny story about developing v13.5 that you can share? 3) Were there any pieces of media you took inspiration from while writing Renegade(mainly Central Tower)? 4) Do you have any plans of making more games after Rejuv?

Yall are cheating with the multiple parts!! Anyway, Eizen was conceptualized sometime in v13's development, but he... she.. they... were just a concept at the point. (stick a pin in that) 2.) A funny story? Hm... I honestly can't remember anything rn. Probably just some bug that caused us pain and it was super simple to fix. 3.) To be honest, I didn't take any real inspiration for Renegade. I actually went into doing that route without knowing exactly what I wanted from it. But the pieces sorta fell into place and im in love with it lol. M2 was always going to be a character in the game, it's just that she was never named M2 and was more tragic than unhinged. M2's personality was altered slightly because I wanted Renegade to have SOME sort of a balance, and a partner in crime (sorta) felt appropo. 4.) Yes, I have original games in the works AND plans for at LEAST 1 more fangame after this. I'd like to start from scratch with all the knowledge I have now. Though, it wouldnt be nowhere near as long as Rejuv. I'm talking like 4-5 releases. lol.

Q19.) Wanted to ask how renegade!MC perceives Clear/Kieran, the 3 choices we have to respond to Clear asking us to go see Clear all seemed cold towards her. I guess they aren't a potential new friend group?

They are a means to an end. The MC is not close with Clear or Kieran at all. They barely even talk outside of the instances we've already seen. Maybe that'll change?

Q20.) This has been a matter of contention between some friends of mine and I. How old is Odessa? I'd assumed she was below 18 as she's not taken the throne so she might not be an adult and her dad's in charge until that happens, but they think she's an adult. For something less serious, who in Rejuv's most likely to start a ponzi scheme, and who's most likely to buy in.

Odessa is likely to be around 25-ish. She's a legal adult, and is in line to be Queen of Kristiline, but their family line already holds so little influence and power that Aquis just makes her a figurehead and manages things on his own. Kind of a Cinderella of situation? More similar but not 1:1. To be honest? I figure Aquis hopes Kailani to return one day and assume her duties because he likes her more (Even if he abused her the same way he did Odessa.) As for the ponzi scheme... I feel like Thomas Jr would make one and Texen would fall for it.

Q21.) Who is the hardest character to write consistently?

Honestly? Melia. She's given me the most trouble despite her being so prominent. Im good at it now I think, but before I never knew how to write her because anything I did came with criticism lol, and still does, but now I don't really give a shit. Amber's a close second.

Q22.) When Crescent fell down the cliff, did she get the interceptor contract then was asked to become a storm chaser? The events seemed to have happened close to each other. Curious since the hags serve Variya, so only 1 of the 2 parties could've asked her both, but that wasn't the case.

Yes it was shortly after she fell. To be clear, the sparkle the protags saw was the sparkling of water from the moonlight above. So they knew it was "safe" to push Crescent. She could have died but she had a chance to survive a situation where the alternative meant certain death.

Q23.) Will the Elite 8 even be able to be battled on Renegade? I imagine Karrina would replace Karen if Karen dies on Paragon, and Karrina doesn’t get pushed, but she eats the Deletos on Renegade if you don’t push her in Castle Zygara, and it made me wonder.

The members of the Elite 8 may be battleable, but not in an official league format. That's all I'll say on that.

Q24.) I'm still really curious about emma, things that come up in my mind a lot is the part where she looks to be used by variya to speak to melia during the part where amanda knocks her out, and during pearl route when we see the note signed by someone with the same name- emma. because of this, I've been pretty curious about this disguise thing the space hags gave melia. did they- or variya gave them orders to- pull the appearance from the deceased emma? does this mean ... they're the same person?

The name part is merely a coincidence and acts as foreshadowing. Melia reads the note and is like "Emma...?" and wonders if she would share the same fate as the ones written on the notes, and then lo and behold she has the same condition.

Q25.) This question is regarding Renegade route: Do the 6 years that M2 and our chosen host were lost in that alternate world match up with a version release that is outdated, or is an in-universe timer that we shouldn't overthink that much?

Honestly, that wasnt the reason for 6 years but now I wish it was that's rad as hell. But no the 6 years isn't even 6 years. It's an unspecified amount of time that passes that she perceives as 6. They both couldve been down there for a million years and they wouldnt know. The area they're in is similar to the chasm where it wears down your mind after long exposure. Maybe that's how Melia could take such a bad turn in life. The protags are always optimistic to escape though so they are able to hold onto their mind.

Q26.) #1 spector fan here asking questions about him since he probably won't get much spotlight outside of one quest... what was his life like before taking on the reserve leader role (other than what we already know, like where he lived,) and what are his interests outside of the paranormal, if any? thanks for the opportunity! love this game a lot :^)

Spector is a history buff and loves to do Goth Gf things like take strolls in graveyards at 3 am 🥰🥰. Probably spent most of his time in the District of Hope. He also likes exploring ruins and abandoned buildings. Not limited to Aevium tbh.

Q27.) I know Eizen seems to be a strictly side quest character, but have K/C or the hags ever tried contacting him for recruitment? His research seems too valuable to go unused for them.

Eizen has absolutely no interest in either of those groups. If they even tried to do anything he'd noclip out of the room and fall out of bounds and then die half life 1 style.

Q28.) :3c what are some characters that are trans if i may ask?

Ryland - FTM Party Girl - MTF Alain - NB Aero - NB V - Genderfluid Eden - Genderfluid

Q29.) would angie still possess alice in renegade? :0 super curious about it hihihi

Whatever happened passively in Paragon (Meaning Cera being abandoned, Alice getting possessed), STILL HAPPENS IN RENEGADE, we just don't see it because the trail of events that led to us seeing them in Paragon do not happen. So... in Renegade, that means Alice is still...

Q30.) How did the aftermath scene from defeating the hags on renegade come to be? I'm very curious

i assume you mean the Tera Raid parody? Well, it came up on my playlist on the train and I was feeling chaotic. what if in rejuv but deadly ?

Q31.) who's the shortest character (excluding the younger kids >>)

Probably either Cera, tbh. She's a short lil one. I don't have canon heights for characters outside like an estimation. But in my head Cera tiny.

Q32.) Hello! I would like to ask, Did the interceptor, before the SS Oceana be attacked, have fake memories of a life alongside Nancy? Since Crescent wanted the MC to have a normal life, I always wondered If she created new memories to make this easier And if I can ask another question. What is/was the criteria to someone see the MC appearance correctly? Huey and Lavender saw two different ones, while Aelita saw the correct one(in my case she saw Alain when asked)

Crescent did not create memories for the player. They just started acting weirdly and stopped talking to her. They then started to behave the same way you, the player, does. Believing that what is happening is real and has always been real (Because this is all the information you have right now), so Crescent takes this opportunity to try and let go by giving you a better (but fake!) life. It's why she sorta distances herself a bit (but not too much) so that you could integrate yourself into that delusion. We love being neuro <3.

The criteria is pretty ambiguous intentionally, but for me it has to do with personality and connection. Aelita always sees who you truly are because shes so close with the player + she has envoy shenanigans going on. If you would get along with Alain the most, the player would show themselves as alain etc.

Q33.) Any disclosable reasons why the rift dex now only has 2 remaining entries instead of 3 like in v13?

It's probably just a discrepancy that happened due to shifting over code bases. The number of slots left is not indicative of anything.

Q34.) hello jan!! hope you’re doing well :D is there any more information or random various facts about the androids (clear/kieran/eden) that can be said that ISN’T spoilers? it’s ok if not! i’ve just been curious about them all lately, especially in regards to how eden’s powers with emotional manipulation work.

Nothing too interesting about Clear or Kieran that isn't spoilers and isnt known already, but as for Eden... Eden was eccentric and had a personality thats real close to prince peasley from superstar saga LOL. I feel like Eden would have a catch phrase like "Mon Cherie", and flip their iridiscent hair in mockery. Eden's manipulation was very devastating. You would feel an immeasurable amount of joy when inflicted that you would give over any information because youre... happy to! But it was also very deadly. If exposed to it for too long you become way too happy to the point where you lose the ability to function normally. You'd fall into a happy-apathetic state and collapse and just lay where you fell until you starved or died in some other way. Because you're happy to! Everything in moderation, guys.

Q35.) Hi jan!!! quick question — why do you hate me why did the renegade route do that /real/ question though…. My buddy found some like… older stuff about Eizen in v13’s files. Something about a girl named Ærika?? (Idk if thats even connected but whatever) How did Eizen come to be? What was the process?

Hi remember the pin I stuck earlier? Ok we're unpinning that now. So, Eizen was originally a woman (So happy for his transition), And her name was Ærika. But we already had so many girls in the game and I wanted to create more male characters so then Eizen was born. I'm glad for it too because Eizen is way more interesting than Ærika. Eizen/Ærika came to be when [redacted]. I can't explain his origins quite yet, sorry! But one day you Will Realize.

Q36.) Hi Jan, thanks for the amazing game! In Alamissa, before we get yeeted into the past by Kieran, when Ren gives us sylveon and, um, Nancy’s remains, he mentions that he has stayed (even after breaking off with crescent) with xen for an important reason… but won’t specify. Later, he says the reason is because he wants to help nastasia. But the alamissa convo happened before ren met Anastasia (baby version). Did ren want to help nastasia before he met her past version and learned that she was…

Ren didn't know who she was at that point, but Ren has seen Nastasia in vulnerable points (that we havent seen... yet?). She has discussed with him that shes looking for someone prior to Alamissa, but she was very vague about it, and still is, but she's opened up a lot to Ren over time.

Q37.) This is probably a weirder question but will all of the main leaders, even the ones we battle outside of their gym duties have custom moves? If not, would it be safe to assume the main leaders use the moves of their reserves?

All leaders have custom moves. Reserves use the move the main leader does! They have TM's for these, but they aren't allowed to give them out to winners. At least, at the moment!

Q38.) what was your favorite part of 13.5's development?

Making Renegade Route lmfao. It was so much funnnnnnn. I cant wait for the rest.

Q39.) what’s the EoN experience like for someone going through it? If that’s too spoilery, what was the most surprising part of people’s reactions to .karma content?

You're getting scrubbed. It looks painful, but it's painless... and seamless! You literally cannot process what is going on. As for most surprising, I was surprised people loved M2 so much. I mean, I had a feeling people would like her, but she really took off and that makes me happy bc shes so fun to write.

Q40.) Hi Jan! My question is this: Will Melia and Venam get back together somewhat in the future? Or will they just stay friends? (Paragon route)

Who knows...

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An extra question im throwing in here because ive seen a lot of talk around this character.

Q1X.) What inspired M2? M2 was conceptualized to be more of a tragic character, but I felt like Renegade needed some balancing out mood wise, or else it was too much of a drag. M2 was inspired by an insecurity of mine, actually, or I guess less so an insecurity and more of a question a lot of us ask ourselves. What if? What if I did this differently? What if I was born elsewhere? How different would I be? When Covid first started running about and I thought the fate of our lives was about to be cut short potentially, I started thinking about how I lived my life and how much I missed out on certain things. M2 is that. She gets a second chance at life and decides she wants to be everything but Melia because she's already lived that life and it turned out poorly. Hence the name M2. The second version of herself.

A song that inspired me is Immaterial by Sophie (Rest in peace)

2:03 is important

Now that I have a second chance at life, "I'll be anyone, anything, any shape." I mentioned before that your archetype powers manifests as your deep inner desire, and since M2 wants to be everything she couldn't be, it turns into her creating alternative selves through clones made of light. Another point of inspiration for her forms is actually Barbie of all things. Not the movie, although the movie takes advantage of the same principle, that Barbie can be anything. A doctor, a lawyer, life guard, a government official etc. M2 is everything always and forever, and she's also nothing at all. Which one is the real M2?

[ask-wylde-and-co]

dad when will wie go home?

(@solvar-the-drone

Soon. There's just a few more things to get to - namely swearing everyone to secrecy.

@bonnie-burned-away @theblackcubeofdarkness @xen-or-xavier-wylde

[narklos]

Half-Lore #1: Xen, The Nihilanth, and Race X

As promised, here's the first instalment in my deep dives into HL's worldbuilding! You all voted for this topic to go first- I'll work my way down from the list I made, but if there's anything you'd like to hear about, let me know. So, without further ado... have a gander at the wall of text under the cut. All images have descriptions!

Xen

Xen is what's known as a 'border world', a planet right on the edge of our understanding of space, and the primary subject of a lot of Black Mesa's research. The planet is also used as a teleport 'slingshot', according to Mossman in HL2, as its latent energy acts as a launching pad for whatever's being teleported.

Crystals from Xen (the orange-yellow rocks found all around the planet) were able to facilitate early teleportation research, the likes of which made Black Mesa a hell of a lot of money. A sample of these Xen crystals was delivered by the G-Man to Black Mesa, at the behest of Administrator Breen. This was tested by Dr Gina Cross and found to be the purest sample they'd seen yet, and they were sent to the anti-mass spectrometer for testing immediately. At this point, the crystal was swapped out for a corrupted sample by the G-Man, therefore kicking off the Resonance Cascade.

Xen is a hostile planet, home to quite a few dangerous creatures. However, it should be noted that nothing is native to Xen. Everything you encounter on Xen wasn't born there, but instead fled there. This is because they were escaping persecution on their respective homeworlds by the Combine. It's unknown whether this was the result of the Nihilanth teleporting them to the planet to act as its invading force, or mere coincidence that so many ended up there. Speaking of which...

The Nihilanth - In-Game Lore

The Nihilanth is the last of its species, having fled the Combine's invasion of its home, and possible enslavement of its race. The Nihilanth was also implied to be a former slave itself. It oversees a vast slave colony of vortigaunts, who toil away in its factory. It's unknown what this factory was actually producing- in typical chunky 1998 fashion, a lot of it is just boxes with pretty textures. This is why the Vortigaunts all wear a green collar and chains in HL1.

When Gordon inserted the corrupted Xen crystal into the anti-mass spectrometer, the resonance cascade allowed the Nihilanth to finally breach through to Earth and directly teleport its alien forces in. Again, it's not known whether the Nihilanth intended to take over Earth, or simply find another place to hide from the Combine, and was willing to do whatever necessary to secure it.

The Nihilanth was also not particularly fond of human scientists taking things from Xen for research purposes. In a level transition in HL:D, it'll say "Thieves, you are all thieves..."

When the Nihilanth was killed, the Combine took notice of Xen- and by extension, Earth. The resonance cascade had already shattered Earth's natural defenses to teleporting aliens, and so the Combine quickly swooped in to conquer Earth. That's the 7-Hour War, but we won't get into that here. The death of such a psychically powerful creature sent shockwaves throughout Xen. The vortigaunts were freed from its influence, however, leading to their tense alliance with the humans.

Curiously enough, it appears that the Nihilanth was actually aware of the G-Man, and his influence over Gordon. During level transitions, The Nihilanth makes repeated references to the G-Man deceiving Gordon, and that he "is not man." It's the first reference we have to G-Man explicitly being non-human, and also led to a lot of fan theories that the G-Man was actually part of the Nihilanth's race (though this is unlikely, as the Nihilanth is clearly referred to as 'the last).

The Nihilanth - An Interpretation

The Nihilanth is the most blunt piece of symbolism we get in Half-Life's story. The entire first game is an analogy for fighting against nihilism in an uncaring world that will constantly seek to break you down. Gordon is battling against forces completely outside of his control, trying to fix a mistake he didn't realise he was making, which was orchestrated by a man who's been manipulating him from the very beginning. It's a pretty grim tale. Gordon's reward for defeating his own nihilism is to be forced into another situation outside of his control- he quite literally does not have a say in it. He either takes a new deal, or is killed.

Gordon's defeat of his nihilism became a source of hope for the rebels 20 years on- despite being a single scientist in Black Mesa, facing impossible odds, he lived. That's why it's such a big deal when he comes back, and why the lambda symbol became synonymous with the rebels. Gordon is hope, the light in the darkness for so many nihilists who didn't believe they could do anything to fight back against the Combine. Gordon is a character to be projected on- this was explicit in the game's design. He doesn't have a personality, a voice- anything. He's the human spirit, and whenever you play through Half-Life, you're going on your own journey to defeat your inner nihilist. How cool is that?

What the hell is Race X?

Race X is a funny one. This is one of those "It'll be a cool idea, guys!" moments that never comes up again. In fact, it's pretty much agreed that Race X has been retconned entirely. Sorry, Pit Worm lovers.

They were essentially a group of aliens from beyond Xen, first featured in Opposing Force. Race X itself was entirely created by Gearbox (the studio behind Opposing Force and Blue Shift), rather than Valve. Even Marc Laidlaw said that he doesn't consider them canon. Yowch.

It's implied that Race X is more powerful than regular Xen creatures, as they actually have access to advanced weaponry and teleportation tech. They were discovered by chance, when a group of Black Mesa scientists accidentally teleported into their realm. Where this realm is located is pretty nebulous, if you'll pardon the pun. It's just... somewhere beyond Xen.

Their leader is the Gene Worm, whom they were clearing space for when they first teleported to Earth. The Gene Worm required a pretty sizeable portal to get to Earth- hence needing to clear space by force. Obviously, this doesn't happen. Adrian Shepard massacred them so thoroughly that they aren't even canon anymore.

That's all for this instalment! If you got this far, thank you for reading! Here's a video of Gabe Newell pretending to be Ringo Starr as a prize.

[midstpodcast]

It is 2am where I am, instead of sleeping I apparently instead am curious to know how if the narrators are characters themselves? Like I know you all have your own characters you play, but are the narrators their own characters in the midst universe, (like will you reveal the three of you are terror affected natives who are now cursed with the knowledge and job of telling this story or something like that?) or are you simply just omnipotent rascally (is that a word? Sure is now I guess) storytellers? I hope that questions makes a modicum of sense to more cohesive brains than mine right now

🎷: Howdy, night-owl! It's getting late where I am, too, and I'm closing out today's AMA with one more answer to this excellent late-night question. Thanks to you all for tuning in and for a day full of fantastic Q&As! There were many great questions we didn’t have time to answer here, but we also answer questions in Midst Messages, a bonus show for subscribers on Midst.co. So there are still chances we can get to your inquiries there or back here on Tumblr if we do future AMAs.

To your narrator question: I can't comment on the true in-universe identity of the narrators (if indeed they have one), but I will say this: whoever the narrators are, they’re characters unlike any we’ve ever played, with levels of meta complexity that we can barely begin to unravel for you. And the experience of both BEING and NOT BEING those three entities within Midst has become one of the most interesting and surreal journeys of our lives. There’s no narration if there are no ears to hear it, and we want to say THANK YOU for listening to Midst. Thanks for coming with us. Thank you for being part of this whole weird wild thing. There’s more to the story, and we’re SO EXCITED to open the door to the final chapter of Midst for you tomorrow.

Xen signing off for now. See you all tomorrow in season 3! 🎷🧡

[thereal-true-ogilvie]

hello everyone welcome to i talk about benrey for a minute here

as someone who’s watched the entirety of hlvrai at least 6 times, the full vods at least 3, and the cast commentary hovering somewhere around 10, i consider myself to be pretty well-versed in the series. i also kin benrey. this is probably important to my perception of him.

the series is about self-aware AI.   its in the title! so it seems obvious enough to me that Benrey was programmed to be the final boss. he was SUPPOSED to be a silly character that antagonizes the protag and throws off the group dynamic, and then it’s a big reveal and you get to beat up this guy that was mean to you!

but he doesnt wanna. hes self aware.

Of all the characters, i think Bubby and Tommy are the most “powerful” in that they were able to break their characters the most. Tommy is a bit of a wild card because he doesn’t usually act like an AI. I view him as the “character you’re supposed to protect” in the party, but somewhere along the way he, too, became self-aware and figured out how to handle his own. I think that’s where the age thing comes in. He was programmed to be a 5-year-old that you’re trying to get out of this dangerous facility! but he didn’t want to be a 5-year-old, he’s smarter than that, he’s capable! so he changed it. Him being the son of Gman also probably helped with him being able to just do that.

I take Bubby and Dr. Coomer as both being tutorial characters. Dr. Coomer is a bit broken, but he still does his best to teach you about things. I think he’s the tutorial NPC that goes “watch out for [x]” and “we can use ropes to cross big pits!” and “we should call them Peeper Puppies!” while Bubby was supposed to be the “here’s how you shoot a gun”

Like, Dr. Coomer does the knowledge about the world, and Bubby does the action. for the video game. And Bubby is supposed to be kinda cold to you, because the action-tutorial NPCs tend to be. Like “what you cant even hold your own? tch, guess ill have to teach you.” But Bubby doesn’t do that. He doesn’t WANT to play the game, he wants to go back home. He liked it before the game was switched on. So he doesn’t teach Gordon shit and just tries to speedrun so the player will leave and he can go back home.

one little scene that stood out to me so much was when the crew is sitting around in a circle with the pigeons. not outside, the other scene with them sitting in a circle and there’s pigeons. why are there 2 of those.

anyways, Benrey is just staring at this pigeon behind Gordon, and singing to it, calmly. And then there’s a loud beep that sounds like the vox, and definitely doesnt come from Benrey. and he suddenly gets up and shoots the pigeon. That reads SO HARD like he was being too soft with the game world, so it pushed him to do something evil randomly. Like a little villain reboot.

Almost everything he does to antagonize Gordon can be read as genuine confusion. He kills random NPCs because he knows theyre not important, and that they can’t feel anything, and that they’ll only slow the team’s progress. And what makes Gordon so mad at him is how often Benrey says Gordon shouldnt be allowed in here. I take that as a similar stance to Bubby. Benrey doesn’t want to be the villain. He doesn’t want the player to progress and make him. That gets more obvious the closer we get to the end, and most people tend to notice it in the last scenes before Xen, where he’s suggesting they go all the way back, and basically begging the player to stop here, at least for a little while.

its really sad, honestly. but i take the cast commentary bits as canon. Which makes it adorable when Benrey comes back into the movie theatre with Gordon and we get

“I wonder what will happen. I bet you know what happens!”

“I win!!!”

He did win. He got to get past being the final boss. He got to join the epilogue. I think, he probably wasn’t supposed to be able to. But these guys broke the game enough that he could. Isn’t that sweet? Isn’t that a nice ending for him? I think he deserves it.

Wayne says he acts like “he isn’t aware unless he’s being spoken to” and I think that fits really well. Like, sometimes his actions are coded into his behavior, so he does them without realizing. And then the player interacting with him (which is the premise of the self-awareness) forces him to actually look at what he did, and sometimes he has no idea how to explain it. Leading to his “huh?”

listen to me. are you listening. i need you to hear this. i need more people to understand benrey. and how much i love him. hes trapped in the narrative, doomed by it to be the villain. but he doesn’t want to be. he clearly cares about the crew in his own silly goofy way. he doesn’t want to fight them. i wrote down everything he said in the finale, and he only says 5 outright malicious lines, all of which are directly after an unnatural pause, like he’s being rebooted again. Some important lines: “I knew this was gonna happen,”

“Stop shooting at me, I have to shoot back, I don’t wanna do that,”

“I didn’t have a big plan, I was supposed to be nice, but you forced me to be BAD so I’m gonna be BAD… friend.” the small, quiet “friend” there gets me every time. even after everything, even after his nature is revealed, he wants to believe theyre still friends.

“Don’t go in there, please… I don’t like that room." The amount of times he sounds so genuinely sad when asking them to stop, or even just saying “bro..” like he’s mourning the friendship they could’ve had. The amount of times he sounds genuinely pained when he’s glitching out and stretching across the screen.

And his last words, said childishly of course, but,

“This isn’t fair.”