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#just. Jesus! Shit! Fuck!
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Something I felt while ruminating about Yuma has me really... kind of
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...jesus...
*endgame spoilers*
He’s paranoid. As. Fuck. And being mentally cornered like that, is the major driving force behind opening up the Book of Death in the first place.
He had to force himself to undo all the life experiences up until he became Number One - how many years that was, who the fuck knows - but you already get an idea that Yuma is nothing if not stressed, all the damn time, so whatever it was that led him up to that title probably wasn’t a cakewalk either. Stress upon stress upon stress, and worse, with no one to truly put confidence in back then.
It meant that he also couldn’t trust himself to do what was necessary without turning to extreme, drastic means. Hell, Chapter 3 is enough to show that the Master Detectives can accomplish awesome things without the need for that book, just as long as everyone was on the same page and using their power. What’s more, there’s a very good chance that if Yuma had boarded that train with Number One’s memories intact, that he could have faked being drowsy in order to corner ‘Zilch’ and stop the massacre from ever happening. It’s still a tremendous risk, but hardly as risky as going in experience and memory-less. He could still use the cook’s identity without compromising his own, and yet?
This is what Vivia meant when he said that ‘it was already up to his neck’. Yuma had been ruined, in his heart and head. He still wanted to do right through that, but he was so blinded by his fears - whether of outing himself, endangering people he might get close to, betrayal, whatever - that he sought the help of a death god to guide him without his troubled memories. Because a contract with a supernatural being is likely to be more trustworthy than a fallible human.
What’s more, is this is such a human reaction to feeling cornered. Have you ever wanted to throw away your memories and start from scratch, only this time with someone who knows you by your side, to guide you through your fresh idealistic self to the place you want to be, rather than a jaded husk of a person who’s completely lost when reaching out to others? Redo your brain chemistry?
I feel like if I had that chance, I’d probably have taken it, too.
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centaur-dreaming · 5 months
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NUMBER ONE?! NUMBER FUCKING O N E?! ON TUMBLR?! T U M B L R ? !
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rinhaler · 9 months
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@saturnsatnin HAS STOLEN MY WORK
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So I wrote this fic for a collab back in early November and this person has decided to steal not only the entire thing, but my requests and drabbles too. I haven’t had a proper look but I am SHAKING with anger. The only thing they changed is the characters involved. I’m not sure if they’ve stolen anyone else’s work, but you know people like this are too lazy and in creative to write their own stuff so please make sure to see if anything of yours has been stolen.
I am FUMING I have no idea what to do in this situation.
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temeyes · 29 days
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saw a guy at a cafe the other night and i thought it was Gaz for a sec
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manmadedonut · 4 months
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kiss wtf?
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hoteldetectiveclem · 4 months
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literalnobody · 1 year
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I know we get collectively frustrated when staff roll out an unwanted layout change (I do too) but jfc the way some of you speak in your @/staff posts is absolutely vile. You know a human being has to read that right. You know a person with a job and rent to pay has to read you telling them to kill themselves because you don't like a website change their management ordered. You know that right
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p4nishers · 1 year
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oh my god. it just hit me. the time they met in eden, the first time in crowley's mind, he asked aziraphale a question and instead of smiting him or ignoring him, he answered. for the first time in his demonic existence, someone answered a question for him without any thought, like he deserved to hear the answer. no wonder he immediately fell in love huh
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stefisdoingthings · 1 month
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ark aftermath
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whilomm · 3 months
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oh okay heres one:
"sleepaway camp"= you go there for at least a few days, a week, sometimes several weeks, and sleep there, as opposed to a """camp""" where you go for the day and your parents or whoever picks you up afterward (those arent really camps, but like. idk when i went to "space camp" it was a weeklong but not sleepaway). in the U.S. at least, the typical image of a sleepaway camp involves staying in cabins, dunno how common it is/what it looks like in other countries.
for the first few i just mean like. not necessarily a stealth church camp, just like. idk, a camp where theres also an Assumption Of Christianity and just general vibes without being actually church camp. So, there might not be daily services and jesusy dedicatwd activities, but maybe theres still a prayer said over meals and shit. Which i assume might exist...
(oh and @reblogforsamplesize if u wanna)
#buzzy#poll#polls#personally: yes i went several times#and i enjoyed it bc. camp!!! yay!!!#but the Church part of it. complicated feelings on that matter#mine were all weeklong camps#went every year for a few years i hink#it was fun bc again YAY CAMP!!! and the ones i went to were like huge things#they had cool water stuff like The Blob and waterslides and some fun games and shit#you could do paintball#and i wasnt like. NOT christian at the time. but i also Wasnt Really Feeling It#i was mostly into it bc. camp.#...maybe i should have asked my parents if i could just go to one of the normal summer camps instead lmao#like the 6 week ones or st#that coulda been fun ....#so my answer is Its Complicated#i did like. participate in the jesus side of things. but i was also kinda knowingly faking it u kno?#i remember one time during a service i started having a bit of a panic attack (mostly bc of the MASSVE crowd. this was a huge ass camp)#but i still had to like. stay. still do everything. my pastor was being nice about it but still was like :( well you cant leave#i remember that was the day we did some shit outside w torches#like. carrying torches in a big procession like some sorta ritual thing ig. fuck if i know.#and i was like crying while following the procession and trying to stop#(the crying STARTED un the megachurch extremely loud giaant speaker GET PUMPED UP!!! area and continued to the torches)#thars my stringest memory from church camp aside from when i fcking DEMOLISHED the frozen t shirt game#(they gave a few ppl on stage frozen t balled up shirts and it was like 'okay first one to unball it and put it on wins!!!')#(and while the two boys i was up against started trying to tear it open with their hands i just#(in my cute lil butterfly shirt and pretty skirt started SMASHING IT AGAINST THE GROUND FULL BODY AAAUUGGHH and broke that shit)#(i was sooo proud of mysekf and my oastors wife thiught it was Unladylike of me but i fucjing won. the boys copied me after a sec)#(but it was too late i won :) anyway yeah like i said mixed feelings u kno. anyway go blue beetles woooo!!!!!
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avesseloflanguage · 4 months
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i know this is old news but like. it is so fucking insane to me that convicted felons — who can qualify in every other way, citizens who are absolutely affected by elections and politics — are not allowed to vote in the united states. like that alone is fucking crazy. and fucked up and VERY intentional and on track for the usa. but still genuinely crazy to actually think about.
but worse is that donald mother god damn fucking trump can still run for president and could be elected while being a convicted felon. like. bro can't vote for himself i guess. but this guy could still legally become the fucking president. HE CANT LEGALLY VOTE IN ELECTIONS ANYMORE. BECAUSE HE IS A CONVICTED FELON.
BUT HE COULD LEGALLY BECOME THE HEAD OF STATE.
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macabrevampire · 1 month
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i'm relating to this man to a concerning degree
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dawnbreakersgaze · 3 months
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HELLO?!??!!?
Im
Not okay
Please wait 1-2 business days to contact Kay about this Dawnbreaker looking mother fucker and his Hungry Like the Wolf kiss.
Because I NEED A MOMENT
Link for you guys
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inkskinned · 1 year
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im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:
videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.
and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.
this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.
there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.
there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.
for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.
i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.
here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."
eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.
we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.
"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"
thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.
it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.
an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.
and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."
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smultronviol · 5 months
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Ppl going "waaahh unpopular opinion but Alice is kind of annoying and obnoxious and I don't think I'd like be her friend irl" is so funny to me bc like.
God forbid a cast of characters be multifaceted and have actual flaws and unpleasant aspects other than "grr angsty hero" and "whoops i'm so clumsy". Sometimes character dynamics and arcs need to be prioritized above "who would i personally be niceys with irl"
2. bro just WAIT until you hear about season 1 jon lol
#the magnus protocol#tmagp#season 1 jon was obnoxious and sometimes a straight up ASSHOLE and you were supposed to find him kinda grating!!!#yes alice IS a bit annoying and too much sometimes (esp in the first episodes) and i love that <3#like. its p obvious that she uses the over the top-thing as a shield (to push ppl away/as a defense mechanism/to avoid being vulnerable)#we see her drop the act sometimes w ppl like teddy and sam who she actually feels comfortable around (and who know and understand her)#but like. she's stuck in a job she hates and is kind of afraid of (she KNOWS smth abt the horrors and is keeping her head down to survive)#(shes obviously afraid of sam going to far bc she KNOWS its dangerous)#so yes her act gets too much sometimes and yes sometimes she crosses the line into straight up mean (esp against gwen)#(but their dynamic is a whole other can of worms)#but like. i'm pretty sure its supposed to be seen that way. the audience isnt supposed to just find her kooky funny#the facade is supposed to be dismantled by the viewer etc etc#kind of like SEASON 1 JON the obnoxious bastard!!!!!!!#like. if you ever think alice is too mean towards gwen pls listen to s1 jon again and how he speaks abt martin??#from a position as his boss no less? ngl i wanted to throttle him sometimes#you kinda forget abt it in the later seasons and if you only engage w fandom content. but like. go back and listen to the shit#he actually says. jesus christ man. i remember kinda hating him in the beginning#and to be clear i love jon! i think hes a great character!#and like. its almost as if his early season personality and facade was an important setup for his character development#and relationships with the other characters???#but anyway 'alice is kind of annoying' is not an unpopular opinion its literally the FUCKING POINT#and both her and jon are my sweet baby angels <3#alice dyer#jon sims#(and obviouslyyy you're still allowed to dislike a character ppl can have their own opinions etc etc etc. i just personally find it funny)
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the-lonelyshepherd · 6 months
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do NOT think about lottielee at three am ❌❌ you’ll end up with a whole ass animatic in roughly three hours at the cost of your sanity
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