#<- for a fragment of a second

[stefisdoingthings]

ark aftermath

[mournfulroses]

Anne Michaels, from Skin Divers: Poems; "The Second Search," originally published in 1999

[saetiate]

The man standing behind the island of the most stunning, grandest kitchen you have ever seen tells you he is your husband. He tells you he is Itoshi Sae, that he plays football for a living.

You don't recall him at all.

You think you must've gotten lucky, sitting in a beautiful house with a beautiful man who seems as steady as can be, despite the circumstances. He slides food from the pan and onto a plate with an easy grace.

Sae sighs as the plate lands a little too loudly, the clang of ceramic to counter echoing through the walls.

You flinch.

His eyes widen just slightly at that, something like dread settling inside of him. But the pause he makes in the silence must've been too loud, too clear. Because then you're scrambling.

"I'm sorry," you tell him quickly. The plate scrapes against the counter as you pull it towards yourself, the clang of cutlery bites like winter snow. He shakes his head at you, to gesture to you that there's nothing to be sorry for in the way you used to know he did, but you keep your eyes downcast as you chew.

His hand moves instinctively, hovering just over your head —

And then you see him in the corner of your eye visibly catching himself, dropping it back down to his side.

~

Sae remembers the parts of you coated in fear near the beginning of your relationship. The loud noises you turned against, the hesitance you held before touching your hand to his.

He remembers the way he coaxed you into his arms and onto his lap, took your hand in his and stood with you in the sun until the lightness leaked into you and you smiled at him, so bright he couldn't help but return something soft right back to you.

But even at your most scared, you've never been scared of him.

The way you flinched at him replays in his mind. How frightening it must've been, for a man you don't know to tell you he is your husband, to put food in front of you and expect you to eat it, take all of this in without mercy.

He should've known better. Should've done better. Should've —

"I love you."

That shocks him more than the scalding hot water that pours over his hands and the dishes, his head snapping towards yours, meeting your sheepish gaze.

"I know I don't remember you. But when I look at you, I feel — I feel like I love you. I feel warm and- and I feel it everywhere."

Your eyes dart this way and that even as you step closer to him, the rushing water forgotten. The hot water means nothing when can feel your body heat so close to his, your cheek just centimeters from leaning against his shoulder.

"Even though I don't know you, I feel like I know. I feel like I know that I love you."

Your voice is almost a whisper now, and it's like the friction slide of tectonic plates inside of him — your meekness compared to the way you used to jump and wrap your arms around him, the way you used to take up all his space and time.

The tap turns off. He breathes in deep, like a boat lulling before a wave crash.

"I love you."

Something about the way he says it, even with the way he looks at you, makes it seem like the words are foreign in his mouth. Rolls against his tongue like a candy you're trying to figure out the flavor of.

"When we first met, even though I didn't know you before…"

He's not looking at you anymore. He's looking at the tap, he's drying his hands, hoping he can wipe away the heaviness of how he feels with the water.

"I felt like I had always loved you."

Like an anchor to the seabed, it strikes anyways.

You take his hands in yours, your fingers brushing against his heated palms, turning him towards you with an easiness only you are capable of bringing out of him.

"Okay," you lace your fingers with his, heart tumbling into a gentle smile, carrying the softness of hope along with it. "Let's start there."

[kaiserouo]

if ordan karris wanna complete that sentence does that mean he also likes us?

[eelektrossfan]

the sinner and the bird from above

[autumnwhistles]

(note: this is purely from a character perspective, not a comment on CCs.)

grian and scar have now both been in opposite positions to the original 'cactus ring', and it's so interesting to compare their attitudes to sacrifice on both ends. whether or not scar threw the fight in the cactus ring, he did offer for grian to kill him before it began. grian declined this, but was clearly fighting with the intention to win during the fight itself – he's giving scar a chance, but not sacrificing.

in secret life, scar's on the other end of things. he's fighting another winner – who herself has been sacrificed for previously – and, like grian, is going into what he assumes to be a fair fight... but which is in his favour due to the others' willingness to sacrifice themselves for him. this is a common pattern for winners: in whichever order, they take the win once, and are once willing to sacrifice themselves to let another take it.

cut to wild life.

this time, it's grian in the final two once more, yet again against an – albeit more distant – ally. he's got a win under his belt already, so you might expect him to do what pearl did, what scott did, right? sacrifice their chance at glory to let another taste it for the first time.

and yet:

"I'm going to have to kill Joel"

"Can I win this? I worked so hard on this series, I'd love to win it!"

because here's an important thing about life series!grian: though he's willing to even the playing field, he's not willing to sacrifice – not when it matters. pledge your loyalty to right a wrong, yes; give lives to gain allies hours, yes; refuse others' sacrifices to fight on fair terms, yes. but in the end, no matter how much he wants to stick with friends, no matter how bad he feels about it, no matter how may "i'm so sorry"s he gives – he will put his own life first, in the end.

there's a reason he's the reason for so many of his allies' deaths, after all. and in its contrast, the wild life finale showcases this beautifully.

(and for the record, i don't see anything wrong with this from an out-of-univere perspective – it's been 5 seasons and 3.5 years since Grian's last win, and even if it hadn't been, it's the CCs place to judge fairness, not ours.)

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

i could've gone my whole life without learning about hector as more than the boyfriend-killer because what do you mean. what do you mean he was favored by apollo. what.

apollo who is the god of prophecy? apollo whose prophetic powers were a of gift of cassandra? fucking cassandra of troy, the mad oracle, sister to hector? cassandra who rejected him?

cassandra who was then cursed to never be believed about her visions. cassandra who saw her kingdom fall and her brothers die and her own murder play out. cassandra whose eyes were blessed and doomed but whose voice was denied. by apollo.

apollo who was supposed to help hector triumph. apollo who would rather let the seer be harked as hysterical and mad than compromise his ego. apollo who let even his champion be deaf to the prophecies of their loss. of his own death.

hector who was graced by apollo. hector, brother of all-seeing cassandra. hector who was denied the warnings of their fates by the god who was meant to guide him. hector, who his patron deity would rather let die and be disgraced and have his corpse paraded around his horrified, beloved city and leave his wife a widow and his son vulnerable to his own murder and his loving king-father left to beg the killer of his son for a cold dead body.

hector who was blessed by apollo to die a gruesome death before his doomed city because apollo would rather punish his sister than keep him alive. cassandra knew, cassandra tried to tell him, to tell anyone. apollo wouldn't allow it.

the hubris and wrath of a god always triumphs over their own favor. aphrodiate would rather her beloved son be miserable than concede to a mortal woman, zephyr would rather kill the mortal he loves than suffer the jealousy and shame of watching him with another god.

apollo who guides the arrow of paris to avenge hector but what does that matter? for years he kept their sister's words of warning and desperate pleas from reaching their ears, visions that might have saved him, warned him. but of course, the lives of a city full of mortals is worth nothing against a sliver of a god's pride. what the hell.

[uncertaininnit]

The Constant (s4 ep5) and The Variable (s5 ep14) respectively

[voiceofthebroken]

happy valentine's day!! I decided to draw something silly for today since I don't really do anything for this day

and an Opportunist version because Cheatunist owns my soul and that was the idea originally /silly

[ecstarry]

from having a ghost in my bed by @fromagony

[aromanticasterisms]

the epic highs and lows of rereading your own writing to seek out parts you disliked and analyze Why you disliked them to do better in the future

[rooatgumpoint]

Every time I see my night watch wiki tab it looks like he’s rapidly shrinking before my eyes and I’m scared to ever open it again

[sainteclectic]

Yo what’re your HMSW designs/nf

(Sorry if I alr asked)

uhh i still need an updated reference for heart but here!

[juneiper-art]

Y'know what is the most fun about the Expedition 33? They really subverted expectations. Like, the villains introduced and the goals of the team are turned on their head so many times, through facades and nuance and complicated feelings, and I think going through a second time really highlights the manipulation and motivations of those involved.

yeah big agree. honestly i felt this for the first time on Sirene's island bc it had strong Shadow of the Colossus feelings to me. i did not enjoy destroying her (and knowing that she represented Renoir's love for Aline...it makes sense why that fight is so sad to me). by the end it definitely feels like nothing you wanted to achieve at the beginning of the game was right, but it doesnt feel cheap about it

as a side note, related to the Axons, i was really glad we let Reacher fly and didn't destroy it. it doesn't really matter i guess but it was a really beautiful choice bc the axons were creations of Renoir's love. the game gives really beautiful moments like that too, which counter balance a lot of the tragedy

[meowsticmarvels]

even more ze texposts i never posted on here. feeding these to tumblr like im feeding a bunch of stray chickens

[bunnieswithknives]

sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all

My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.