#just...what a guy

[hazard-and-friends]

Hazard got his first NW3 leg today (two for the NW3 title; three NW3 titles for the NW3-ELITE title & moving onto Elite trials) which is great, and also I have been reminded again just how far we've come

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[holographings]

someone on twitter said Imagine what s2 jayce would give to talk to s1 viktor just one more time. and someone had a time travel alternate dimension fic ready to go. and i read it. and now my face is being eaten by 3750 feral dogs i think

[qiinamii]

one braincell transfer (divided by four)

[vulpinesaint]

quiz enjoyers! i am now inviting you to come create something in my workshop❕

[feelslikesugarinme777]

PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE LIKE THIS

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[a-jasminator]

lazarus

[shitbl0gger]

[dir3ctedbysofiacoppola]

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

[bearloonz]

I think we as a society should bring back brotps. I think we should be weirder about characters being friends the same way people are weird about ships. Make those two characters who interacted once or twice besties. Make it difficult for them to get rid of each other even if they want to. Go nuts

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

legal disclaimer that I'm not saying we should execute CEOs in the street, but what if we doxxed them. what if we plastered their names and faces all over social media. what if we made them nervous to go out in public for fear of actually experiencing a single consequence for their actions. what if we built a culture where CEOs get regularly bitch-slapped in the street is what I'm saying

[dangeroustaintedflawed]

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[feelslikesugarinme777]

[good--merits-accumulated]

collection of some of my favourite derek guy (dieworkwear on twitter/the menswear guy) tweets