#kaz brekker blurb

[meadowscarlet]

inflicted desire ━━━ kaz brekker.

pairings: kaz brekker x fem!reader.

summary: you were simply a crow and nina's closest friend, but kaz doesn't understand why he feels the need to be near you or protect you when you can protect yourself; he is closed off and unreadable, and he couldn't articulate his feelings properly, until you were hurt on the job.

warnings: the normal six of crows shenanigans.

author’s note: a reposted fic. do not copy, post on another site, translate or claim any of my works as your own or you will be reported! nav.

Kaz Brekker did not make mistakes. He was a thief, not a fool, the Dregs' leader, and Ketterdam's most notorious man. He had a sharp intellect and was astute; no one ventured to cross him out of fear, or they were rational enough not to.

His plans were meticulous, and if something went wrong (which was unlikely), he had hundreds of backup plans ready to go. And everything went well, but there was a glimmer of realization that Kaz had made the biggest mistake of his life. It was bothering him, and he had a nagging feeling of uneasiness.

If he had merely noted when he met you—charming and intriguing—when he visited the House of the White Rose to inform Nina about a job; he should have simply ignored you when you passed him in the hall without a second glance, but Kaz had been effectively intrigued.

Nina told him that you were her closest friend and the one person in the White Rose who kept her sane. Nina was cautious, with a guarded gleam in her eyes and a reluctance that could get you killed in Ketterdam, when Kaz inquired whether you had any skills.

Nina had given Kaz a sharp gaze and said, “Recruiting her in the Dregs is dangerous.”

“Nina dear,” Kaz drawled. “It's dangerous everywhere in Ketterdam. And I think your friend would appreciate getting out of here every now and then.”

Nina told Kaz about your bewitching qualities with a little more trepidation. You were charismatic, a pretty face and a cunning smile that could tempt wealthy merchants to give you kruge and a wise convincer. Nina also mentioned that you had good combat skills. Kaz Brekker had smirked at the time, his thoughts racing. He was well aware that he needed you on his team.

That was his very first mistake. You were good at your work—you did a brilliant job and Kaz knew you were a terrific addition to the Dregs—but as the days passed, he began to have an underlying feeling inside him that he quickly dismissed whenever you were there. Kaz often wondered if he should have heeded Nina's advice about not recruiting you in the Dregs, but he'd been blinded by his curiosity, and he bitterly regretted it.

He recalled one mission in which they were meant to spy on a handful of Pekka Rollins' men. Kaz remembered how meticulously he had prepared for this; he had gone over blueprints over and again until his eyes were weary, but he would not rest—never. Kaz was scrupulous with his plotting especially since it involved Pekka Rollins.

When there's a lovely girl around and they're inebriated, men are simple to seduce. So, of course, your main task was to play the inquisitive girl, allowing men to reveal their drunken secrets while you sat, looking pretty. Despite the fact that you were skilled in this vicinity, Kaz didn't like the plan, but he needed Inej on the roofs and Nina by the door, so you were left as an option.

As he saw you woo one of Rollins guys, he felt a prickling sensation inside him. You were dressed in a velvety white dress that accentuated your contours; you stood out in the darkness of Ketterdam, and you shone brightly. Kaz may not believe in Saints, but he was convinced you were one by the radiance of your smile and dress.

He despised seeing you sitting on a drunk Dime Lion man's lap, and Kaz noticed you looked uneasy, so he fought the impulse to smash the man's head with his cane until his skull cracked satisfyingly. He reminded himself that this was a job, and he needed to do his part. Despite your unsettled expression, he could see your ears perk up, and that's when Kaz recognized the man had begun to speak.

Kaz watched you giggling and touching the man's forearm while drinking your drink; you were playing your part wonderfully as usual. And it all happened very quickly; when the drunken man leaned close to you, another man approached him to stop him, and Kaz realized the man knew who you were.

The man had said something to the inebriated man, and the latter had suddenly sobered up, and Kaz realized chaos had occurred. Because of the drink you drank, you appeared tipsy, but Kaz could see how your eyes flared in terror and your gaze immediately darted to him.

Kaz had set out on foot to get you, but Nina had beaten him to it. Nina had grasped your wrist and pulled you away in alarm before the man could grab you. Shots were being fired, and Kaz could see Jesper rousing his revolters to fire back at the men who were shooting at you and now at Jesper.

Kaz was so concentrated on the men and the bullets that he missed you limping in Nina's arms as he pulled his own gun. Nina wore a worried expression on her face and was essentially bearing half your weight. And Kaz could see it: there was blood on your abdomen that was obvious and evident through the white of your dress. As Kaz focused on you, gunshots faded into the background, and he was startled out of his reverie when Jesper told them to leave.

He didn't normally listen to Jesper because he was the one who gave the directions and commands, but now his feet followed Jesper's, his leg jerking in pain as he hobbled, yet his step was swift. He remembered the blood on your adobem, the way Nina's eyes widened, and he was filled with dread. It was terrifying. Since Jordie, he hasn't felt like this in years.

Kaz knew Inej was close behind him, quiet and concealed like the Wraith she is, as his Crows hurried to the Slat. As you limped beside Nina, Kaz could see you being held by her, and he turned to Jesper, a sensation inside him that he didn't want to convey.

“Run after Nina," Kaz rasped coldly. “Help her with Y/N.”

Jesper didn't need to say anything else as he ran to Nina, and when he caught up with both girls, he grabbed your waist and helped half of your weight as Nina and Jesper carried you to the Slat. Kaz despised hearing a hint of fragility in his voice, but Jesper didn't seem to mind.

It didn't matter to Kaz if Nina could hear his rapid heartbeat. Kaz saw that the others were watching him as his eyes swept you laying on your bed with Nina mending your wound. Even though your face was pale and your breathing was unsteady, you were alive, Kaz was not soothed. Despite her concerns, Nina had been firm, requesting medical equipment from Matthias, who had followed orders.

Kaz isn't concerned about the Rollins information right now; all he wants is for you to be alright. He remembered your eyes widening in panic and searching for his first. He swallowed a lump in his throat and shook his head, focusing on you instead. And there was so much blood, Kaz gripped his cane tightly in his fist.

“Heal her,” he murmured.

Nina gave him a cold stare. “I'm trying, Kaz, but there's just too much blood.”

“I don't care,” Kaz said icily, his gaze matching hers. “Zenik, heal her.”

Inej had left, but not before praying to her Saints for you to be well. Jesper walked away as well, noticing the gloom in Kaz's voice and Nina's gaze. Matthias was retrieving more medical supplies, creating a tense atmosphere with only a feverish Kaz, an anxious but indignant Nina, and an alive yet barely Y/ N.

“You should leave, l'll get to you once l'm done,” Nina remarked as she resumed working in your wounded abdomen.

Kaz stood firm in his position. “I'm not going anywhere.”

With a shake of her head, Nina replied, “Your heartbeat is distracting me.” Kaz noticed her hand quivering. “I can sense your nerves, Brekker, and it doesn't help that l'm worried about her as well.”

He was terrified; he had shown vulnerability, and Nina had noticed. She knew he cared about you, and he had never experienced anything like it with anybody else. When Inej was stabbed, Jesper was shot, or Matthias, Wylan, and Nina were hurt, Kaz's heart didn't rush as rapidly. It was always you who made his heart race with nerves and a need to protect you if you were harmed.

When Kaz glanced at your hand, palm up, he felt compelled to grasp it. Not Jesper, who had brought you to the Slat, or even Nina, who stroked your hair away from your face every now and then, but he should be the one holding you and aiding you. But Kaz knew that idea alone was impossible; he couldn't think about it without shivering with distaste, so he stayed, a safe distance away, with a tremendous desire to hold you.

Nina fixed her gaze on him. “I assume she'll be a little hazy when she wakes up, so don't ask her any questions about the information.”

“I don't give a damn about the information,” Kaz remarked indifferently.

Kaz despised the mischievous glimmer in her eyes as she shot him a shocked glance. “Kaz Brekker not caring about the information that's about Pekka Rollins? Somebody pinch me.”

He gave her a skeptical look as he rolled his eyes. “Keep her alive by doing your work, Nina dear.”

Nina shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes were gloomy. “She's not dead, Kaz,” she said with a shake of her head. “Since the blood loss, she'll be unconscious, but she'll be fine—she usually is.”

Kaz nodded in agreement. What Nina said was right; it was not uncommon for someone in the Crows to be hurt—it happens all the time, especially during heists and jobs—but the jobs were mostly successful, and Kaz had been blunt in assigning you the safest task (charming people) because a selfish part of him wanted you to be in the middle of the job so he could keep an eye on you.

But, despite his composed demeanor, he seemed to crumble everywhere around you. Perhaps you had charmed him, as you had charmed so many others, by bewitching him with your entire being, causing his black heart to seek you out. When you were around, there was always an inflicted desire within Kaz, which he had always disregarded until now.

Kaz wanted to kill the man who had touched you, as well as track down the person who had shot you. He remembered your bright eyes dampening in fear and a brief tremor of despair as you realized you'd been caught, then blood splattering across your white dress and Nina's worried expression as she carried your limping weight.

Nina snarled, “You're doing it again.”

With his dark eyes, Kaz looked at her. “What?”

“I know you love her and all, but I need to focus, and your heartbeat is incredibly distracting right now,” Nina rambled.

Kaz stilled as he heard the word he didn't want to associate himself with. “In Ketterdam, love is neglected; it is reserved for the weak.”

Nina surprised him by laughing. “What are you doing right now? Whenever Y/N is hurt, you appear weak—you're in your vulnerable form.”

Kaz wanted to kill Nina by saying things he knew were true, but he was ignorant and stubborn to accept it. Nina gave him a knowing look as she cleaned, healed, and wrapped a cloth around your wound before kissing you on the forehead and leaving Kaz alone with you.

Kaz strolled over to where you were laying after a few moments of contemplation. He examined your flawless face, which, despite seeming pale and near death, was nonetheless lovely. Kaz paused for a while before raising his gloved palm to your cheek and tucking the errant strand of hair away.

He sat down near your bed, putting his disgust aside. Despite the strong temptation, he did not grasp your inviting hand. Kaz had stayed by your bedside the entire night, never leaving your side. Nina had stopped by every now and then to change your bandage, but she had said nothing about Kaz's overstaying or even asked him to leave.

When Nina was treating your wound, she had said, “You should rest, Kaz.”

Kaz gave her a sidelong glance. “Don't tell me what to do.”

Nina may have been right, but she was also wrong. Kaz did not believe he was capable of love, yet he had a great desire to be with you. To be in your company, to receive your gorgeous smile, and to simply be in your presence. And this time he wasn't going to ignore it.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Passing The Baton (Six of Crows One-Shot)

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader / requests are open and encouraged

Summary: To your knowledge, your crush on Kaz is unrequited. Apparently this is not the case.

CW: Kaz is dumb but we love him

SAB/SOC Tag List: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

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Kaz ‘Dirtyhands’ Brekker. Bastard of The Barrel. Also- your unrequited love. Kaz had caught your eye just as he had caught everyone else’s. Everyone knew not to mess with the Dregs, and that was thanks to Kaz. Before he’d risen through the ranks of the club, the Dregs had been no one. Quite literally the dregs of society- and while, yes, that was where the name came from, it was quite the rise to fame as the Dregs started getting more and more popular, and more and more dangerous.

Even the Crow Club was starting to become a real pain in the other clubs’ asses. 

But Kaz? He’d fascinated you well before any of this. You’d been working at the Crow Club as a serving girl since before Kaz arrived. Not long, mind, but long enough before that you got to experience both sides of the Dregs’ fortune. 

Kaz hadn’t seemed to take much notice of you at first- and why would he? Weren’t you just another serving girl being groped by the drunk patrons? Anything to make a few Kruge. But he did take notice when you threatened to cut the balls off a patron when said patron got a little too handsy one day.

He’d taken you back into his office and thwacked his cane on the table hard enough to scratch the varnish and told you rather harshly to never do that again. To come to him next time there was an issue like that and he’d deal with it… discretely. 

What that had meant was clear only to Kaz, and that was fine by you. But that was when your little crush had really taken off. What could you say? You liked a bad boy. Someone who could handle his own and Kaz could definitely handle his own. Cane or no. 

Despite telling you off, Kaz had clearly taken note that you weren’t afraid to get your hands a little dirty either, something he had an appreciation and mutual respect for. And so you went from lowly serving girl to, well, still a serving girl, but a serving girl who also took jobs for Dirtyhands and worked with him to secure patronage for the club, and Kruge for his and your own pockets. And for Per Haskell’s pockets as well, you supposed. Lazy bastard. 

But you longed for more.

 

You longed for Kaz’s touch, for his lips on your skin. You longed for his affections as much as you longed for his approval. It was a dangerous combination.

As far as you could tell, he did not feel the same way. But then again, would you have ever known otherwise? Kaz kept his cards close to his chest- as he should. 

Today seemed different though. You’d barely made it back from a job and Kaz seemed… angry, to put it lightly. You had no idea why, though, considering you got what he wanted, and made it out alive, too. Win-win. 

Inej may have had to save you, but that was beside the point. 

“You need to be careful,” he said, mouth pursed angrily. “You can’t be making reckless choices and silly mistakes. This is The Barrel. I can’t afford mistakes.” 

You met his harsh gaze head-on and shoved the ledger he’d asked for into his chest with vigour. Kaz didn’t even break the gaze between you, just reached with one gloved hand to take the ledger off you. 

“I got what you wanted, didn’t I?” 

A muscle in Kaz’s jaw twinged. 

“That is not the point.” 

You let out an exasperated scoff, removing your hand from his chest with another soft shove. Surprisingly, Kaz lets the action move him. 

“Then what is the point?” You ask, frustration evident in your features. 

“The point is- oh, for Saints’ sake,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We could have lost you. I could have lost you.” 

Your eyebrows practically disappeared into your hairline. 

“You could have lost me…” you trail off, echoing his words, feeling them out for hidden meanings. 

“You’re a good investment. I don’t like to lose investments.” 

Oh. Okay. An investment. You should have known that that was all you were to him. That’s all you were ever going to be to Kaz no matter how much you wished differently. Ridiculous. 

“Of course,” you reply, turning to walk away. “Your investment needs a dri-hey!” 

Kaz’s gloved hand snatches at your forearm and yanks you back towards him. You re-balance yourself and glare at him, looking between the tight grip he has on your arm and his heated glare. 

“Stop,” he says before forcing his features to soften. “I’m not one for feelings.” He practically shudders through the word. “You’re more than that. An investment, I mean.” 

You stay quiet, not giving him anything to work with here, but you’re surprised he can’t hear the uptick in your heartbeat. 

“Look,” his grip loosens. “I don’t want to lose you. Purely selfish reasons. Not because you’re an investment, but-” Kaz clears his throat and avoids eye contact. “I care for your wellbeing.” 

It’s not an outright declaration of love, but it’s about as close to it as someone like Kaz would give. He’d bared his soul to you here. All the fractured, broken pieces of it. He’d bared his heart for you to treasure or smash into bitty little pieces. 

You sucked in a breath. 

“Are you saying you have feelings for me?” 

Kaz grunts and lets go of your arm. You brush your fingers over where he’d just touched you. 

“I suppose so, yes,” he said, eyes flitting to the door like he was thinking about making a run for it. 

“Don’t suppose it would interest you to know I felt the same way, would it?” 

And there it was. Passing the baton back to Kaz. Passing your heart in return for his. Now it was he who held the power to treasure or smash you into pieces. 

Kaz finally met your gaze, and his lips ticked up into a small smirk.

“Oh, I knew that.”

[love-strawberry]

crestfallen on the landing

summary : he was really grateful that she didn't ask anything of him, but one day, she finally does.

pairing : kaz brekker x reader

warnings : language, angst

author's note : HIIIIIIII!! im so fucking sorry everyone for being so inactive on updating here, i really am. but im here now!! i'll try my best to be on here more regularly :'),,, so kaz might be a bit ooc here and this is pure angst okay?? let me know if u want a part ii,, love u a sm <3 requests are open!!!

tagged : @xhanthexzoria @ateliefloresdaprimavera @ell0ra-br3kk3r @slut4benbarnes @0oolookitsme

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y/n y/l/n had her fair share of regrets in her life.

she had made mistakes—some of which she could never come back from but in the end, if someone were to ask her if she was happy, she wouldn't have thought twice about saying yes.

she hadn't had the perfect life, but in the rundown building, full of life with her closest friends—family was a better word; she knew that it wouldn't get better than this.

but then kaz came along.

it wasn't as if he wasn't there before—he was, but he was just kaz then. kaz brekker, bastard of the barrel, dirtyhands, owner of the crow club, leader of the dregs—an asshole to the ones close to him.

but now, he was kaz.

the love of her life, the man who could talk hours on the hand about the most complex and near impossible heist and she would consider it music. the man whom she had loved more than she had ever loved anything, the one who made the dark alleys of the barrel seem like her home and it was.

her home was wherever he was.

he made the small rundown building with a crooked structure and broken staircase feel like home. just like he made the four walls of his office appear like a paradise to her.

their relationship hadn't really been a surprise to the crows, but still, it was a pretty big deal. curses were thrown around, people were threatened and money was made but the crows had never been happier with these two.

their relationship at first was stolen glances, half quirked lips, small nods and feather like touches on the shoulders. it was searching of the other's eye in a room full of people and it was staying awake till three in the morning, waiting for your other half to come back from a job.

then, it was calm. it was catching your lover's eyes from across the room and feeling your heartbeat slow down. it was looking over your shoulder and knowing that they had your back. it was finding your favourite coffee on the dining table in the morning when you woke up late and it was having your favourite thing for lunch at your desk without asking.

and now, y/n hoped it would be eyes that spoke a thousand words, meaningful glances and a lifelong aggreement on the roof where they had first met.

she hoped it would a lifetime of happiness.

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if there was one thing kaz brekker liked about y/n y/l/n, it was that she never asked anything of him.

she never complained about lack of physical contact, she never disagreed with him on the topic of his job and she never asked him to push more than he could.

she understood and he swore that for a moment, he believed that he could love her.

never in a million years to come, he would've been able to guess that he'd have someone. someone he could truly call his own.

in his mind, his relationship was pretty simple. it wasn't kisses in the dark and hands on her waist, it was small whispers in the alleys before a job and it was the slight touch of his gloves on her hands before he went off on a job.

they were great together, kaz knew that much. and they didn't really have problems in their relationship except for the occasional fight about changing the wallpaper in his office and decorating the slat—something both jesper and nina backed her up on.

which is why, he was surprised when she asked him to meet her on the rooftop where they had first met.

and he was even more surprised to see her sitting with her back to the railing, fiddling with her fingers and tapping her foot rhythmically.

"y/n?" kaz called out, his voice a rasp from the december cold. he was wearing his usual attire but regretted not wearing more layers when y/n told him to.

"kaz—hi!" y/n stood up from her place on the ground swiftly and made her way to where he was standing near the exit with her satchel clutched tightly in her hands.

"you wanted to meet me here?" kaz questioned, trying his absolute best not to let his voice come out all cold and demanding but he knew that y/n wouldn't make anything if it.

"oh, yes—" y/n trailed away and for a moment, kaz thought he saw panic and fear in her eyes but she quickly turned away and kaz decided that it was just a trick of the moonlight. "—one second, it's here. please, saints, don't tell me i forgot it—"

kaz watched her with slightly upturned lips as she looked through her satchel and shook his head to remain more serious.

"what is it?"

"have patience, i almost found it."

"found wha—"

his voice trailed away as y/n sighed with relief and turned to him with something in her hand and kaz almost wished that the moon was tricking him and that it was just a play of light.

"it's a ring?" kaz swallowed as he felt the world grew hot and held his cane a bit tighter.

"it's an antique ring," y/n corrected.

"and—" kaz struggled to say the next words, praying to all the saints that inej believed in that she would just say that she had brought it to show it to him. that's all. "—why do you have it?"

y/n's smile had faded a bit but she she shook her head, smiling more brightly than she was before and held out her hand, a good few inches away from kaz, holding the ring up so that he could see it.

"it's—uh," y/n spoke in a whisper, her eyes flickering across kaz's face in uncertainty, "it's for you."

kaz sucked in a sharp breath and looked down. when he looked up, there was not trace of a smile on y/n's face.

"i—" kaz stopped as he tried to string sentences together in his mind in a way that sounded the least harsh, "don't know what to say."

"you and not knowing what to say?" y/n laughed sadly and kaz wanted nothing more than to take back what had already escaped his mouth and make it right. "i mean—deep down i knew this was a possibility but i—i ruled it out. my mistake, right there."

"y/n—" kaz started but she help you her hand and he grew quiet.

"why—i mean, i know that we're still young but we're almost in our late twenties and i know that our lifestyle is not ideal for having a life full of domesticity but we don't have to do that—" y/n spoke rapidly, sounding like it hurt to speak, "—we can be kaz and y/n, stealing from the rich and living in the slat. why, kaz? why?"

kaz brekker didn't have a reason.

he didn't have a reason as to why he couldn't say yes to her. he didn't have a have a reason why it was so hard for him to finally accept something good and something pure and not tainted in life.

but because he was kaz brekker, he always had to get in the last world but this time, he almost wished saints cut his tongue cause nothing would ever make him forget the look on her face as he spoke.

"because in order to marry someone, you actually have to love them. we don't have that."

it had been a blur after that. there was a door slammed and he could practically hear inej sharping her knives to kill him. it had started raining but kaz took no notice.

guilt blossomed in his chest, regret was wrapping like poison ivy around him and cutting off his breath till he was was choking in the blood of the love that he may had killed.

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for y/n, it had been months since she was not able to tell the difference between the rain and her tears.

she made her way threw the narrow alleys, her dagger out and positioned in her hand like it was meant to kill and on a night like this, it was.

she quickly reached the slat and made her way up the stairs to her room, just wanting to lay in bed and add another regret to her list.

she had just finished changing from her wet clothes when a knock sounded at the door—a rhythmic pattern that she herself had taught the sharpshooter.

"jes, i really don't wanna talk right now," y/n called out weakly, her voice giving out halfway between and she cursed as she knew that he would definitely come in now. "just—close the door."

"hey," jesper peeked out from behind the door, taking in her tear stained cheeks and frowned. "what happened?"

"uh—i," y/n's voiced cracked and jesper instantly took a seat beside her on her bed and placed a hand on her should, "i messed it all up."

"don't say that," jesper protested as he wiped her tears. "no, whatever happened, we'll figure it out. what did he say?"

"he didn't have to say anything for me to know that it was 'no' from him," y/n said as she sniffled, the ring feeling so heavy in her pocket. "it's about what he said after."

"oh no, what'd he say?" jesper's face dropped and y/n almost wanted to smile at how horror struck he looked.

"he said that in order for people to marry, they have to love eachother and him and i don't have that," y/n said and her eyes instantly started to sting as his voice played on a loop over and over again in her head.

"okay, wow," jesper scoffed as he looked away. "i—i cannot be—"

his voice muffled after that as y/n pulled out the ring from her pocket and stared at the initials she had gotten engraved. a small 'k' for kaz and a crow next to it.

she looked over it in her hand and wondered that if that ring was so ugly that it made kaz say no.

"—and to say that—"

"is the ring ugly?" y/n interrupted jesper from his rant as she shoved the ring in his face.

"...what?"

"the ring. is it ugly?" y/n repeated slowly.

"uh—no, it's not," jesper spoke, although a bit confused.

"am i ugly?"

"what?! no, of course not, y/n/n," jesper said seriously, looking at her through crazed eyes. "what made you think that?"

"is there something wrong with me then?" y/n ignored his questions, her head running wild.

"no! no. no, listen to me," jesper started as took the ring out of her hand and placed it on her bedside table, "there's nothing wrong with you. you're perfect and anyone would so lucky to have you. kaz is an idiot who doesn't know what's in front of him and i'm telling you, he's gonna regret it—letting you go, that is.

"now, chin up and get some rest," jesper finished with a soothing smile as he stood up. "saints know you need."

"i'll tell the others in the morning," y/n nodded, moving the stacks of papers on her bed to the floor, "yeah, that sounds good."

"okay," jesper agreed, "but don't feel compelled to do so, alright? tell everyone else on your own accord."

"i will," y/n smiled at her friend gratefully before getting up and hugging him. "thank you, jes. i honestly don't know what i would do without you."

"you won't have to ever find out," jesper said, hugging her just as tightly, "i promise. i'll be here, forever and a day after that."

y/n couldn't say anything but with the way she hugged him with everything in her and whispered a 'thank you', she knew that jesper understood everything she wanted to say.

the two parted for the night and y/n returned to her bed, and stared at the ring in silence.

a moment passed and then another one and before she could stare any longer, she quickly placed the ring in one of the many drawers and turned off the lamp.

sighing heavily, she stared at the ceiling and before she even knew, she was clutching her stomach, and her hand was on her mouth, muffling the heart shattering sobs that slipped out like red wine and tainted her pillow.

her whole body shook as she drew in shaking breathes—or at least tried to. before she could even inhale properly, another sob made its way out of her chest and it hurt all over again.

she felt the pain in her chest, in the stomach and in her head. it was excruciating and painful and the worst of it all was that she believed that it was fine.

it was fine because that was how she had expected it be—loving kaz.

she knew that she'd never have the that love that nina and matthias had or jesper and wylan and she was fine with it.

she had always thought that in that end, it'd be silencing screams and painful words and barbed wired voices. but she never would've thought that it'd be a muted decison, ragged breaths and silences that felt deafening.

as she drew in another shaky breath, she swore that for a moment, she wondered if this was what the poets meant by death by a broken heart.

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[natashxromanovf]

i am flooding your inbox today, hope you dont mind :)

for the blurb night; would you write a kaz imagine where it has snowed in ketterdam and you try to get him outside with you??

Winter Wonderland

kaz brekker x gn!reader

wc: 288

warnings: /

a/n: i love this and i was actually so excited to write it! i hope you like it <33

"Please," you whine as you look outside then at Kaz, trying to convince him to go out with you. It snowed for the first time in 3 years and when you woke up to the white streets this morning, you nearly screamed. You knew this may be the only chance for the next couple of years to experience the real winter and you just couldn't let Kaz miss out on all the fun. Of course, you knew he wasn't going to like the idea cause this is Kaz we're talking about but with some convincing, he might actually step outside with you.

"No, I despise snow," he replies for the hundredth time this morning, returning to his work. You sigh, getting ready to bring out your last card.

"Pretty please? For me?" you sweetly smile, finally catching his attention. He stares at you for a couple of seconds before taking a deep breath and giving in.

"If I go out with you for fifteen minutes will you leave me alone then?" he asks, but deep down he has already decided to go with you minutes ago, he just wanted to see how far you'll go with the pleading.

"Yes, I promise!" you exclaim, practically jumping from excitement.

~

A couple of minutes later you're stepping outside, the biggest grin on your face. You turn around, laughing from happiness. There are snowflakes falling onto your face, steam coming out of your mouth because of the cold. You look happier than he has ever seen you, especially when you join Jesper and Nina in a snow fight. Kaz just stares at you from a distance and for the first time in a very, very long time, Kaz Brekker genuinely smiles.

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please don’t forget to like, reblog and/or comment, it really helps writers with motivation <33

tags: @tenaciousperfectionunknown @ell0ra-br3kk3r @sheraayasher

[lee-writes-things]

but like imagine this, if there were deaths in a third soc book:

wylan would die first (from an explosion, oit of irony) because we can all agree he's like a son to kaz, and it would be devastating. so then kaz has all this pent-up emotion. and jesper's unhinged gambling addiction gets worse, which gets kaz even more worried. because he's like a brother to kaz. and he does something reckless on this job, which therefore gets him severely injured, and he dies in inej's arms. and that leads to inej trying to help jesper cope while also suffering internally herself.

when news reaches nina in ravka, she thinks that kaz forged inej's signature at the end of the letter as a cruel joke. she went along with it anyway since she missed when the crows were all together. nina brought a few traditional ravkan treats that she knew kaz liked no matter how much he denied it. when she arrived at the slat, it was empty. nina went to the crow club and found inej with a far away look. she gave up on trying to help jesper with his addiction. im too lazy to be in writing mode, so im gonna half-ass the rest. anyway, nina had to snap inej out of her daze and ask her where kaz was. that's when inej finally broke down, and any word she muttered was incoherent. after what felt like ages, jesper went over to the two girls and told nina what happened. "the ol' dirtyhands finally kicked the bucket. thought he was immortal for a while. wylan went just before him."

there was nothing else but sobs that day and screaming out to the sky why everything that happened happened. bit over a week later, there was a joint service. inej engraved two slabs for the two out of wood with the first knife kaz gifted to her. she renamed it. sankt rietveld. and that's how she got assigned a new job. revenge. with a gloved hand holding her knife. (shitty ending, not enough detail, but here you go)

before, there were six of crows. then five. now only three.

i originally shared this with a server im in and, therefore, was banished to hellgate by my friends for making them all cry. oops. anyway, fuck you guys [affectionately but not really].

[goblinthefrog]

On top of my love for neurodivergent show SaB Wylan, Kit’s playing of Jesper is also so perfect. The way that he so easily accepts Wylan for who he is is amazing.

He listens to Wylan’s rants about his interests, no matter what they are, and tries to continue communication in the process. While Jesper doesn’t particularly care for the butterflies, Wylan does and he wants to do what will make Wylan happy and expresses that exactly. He also tried to compliment Wylan whenever he could.

He shows pride in him in a way Wylan has never experienced before. He calls him a genius and he means it. He proudly exclaims that Wylan is his when he thinks of throwing the bomb at the Nichevo’ya (even if it didn’t work for long). He also silently stares in wonder after Wylan plays the piano for Alby, a skill that Wylan father always looked down upon in the books.

He sees Wylan as endearing, but not in the way a lot of TV likes to express neurodivergent characters, as if they are akin to children. Wylan is, as I like to believe, autistic but they doesn’t infantilize him. He didn’t know what Kaz was going to get him into, but once he learned he decided to stick around on his own and became an important part of their crew. I also appreciate the illusion to sex scenes, it further expresses the idea that Wylan is not a child but a grown man in a serious relationship.

[munsonxmayhem]

My Master List:

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Eddie Munson

Series:

Beware the Freak

- part i

- part ii

- part iii

- part iv *

The New Girl (part i)

- Torn Between Two Lovers (part ii)

Love To Hate Me

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- Part II

A Helping Hand

- Part I

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You Will Go To Paper Towns.

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Show Me How Much You Hate Me (Mini)

- Part One. *

- Epilogue.

Polaroids:

- part i

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Blurbs:

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- Kiss The Pain Away.

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- Insecurities.

- Detention.

- Best Friends.

Other:

- It’s Not Your Fault.

- Never Say Goodbye.

- Destined For An Alternate Dimension.

- The Boy Next Door. *

- If You’re Scared, I’m On My Way.

- Steve + Eddie + Reader Texts.

- I Did.

- Carried Away. *

- The Shy and The Insecure. *

- Jealous. *

- You’re Many Things, But…

- No Regrets. *

————————————————————————————————————————

Joseph Quinn

Series:

- By Chance. (part i)

- part ii

- part iii *

- part iv *

- part v *

- Unexpected Company. (part i)

- part ii. *

- part iii. *

- Autophobia. (part i)

- Heal. (part ii)

Polaroids:

- part i

Blurbs:

- One Beautiful Morning.

- Memories.

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Others:

- Learn To Trust, Again. *

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- The First Time. *

- Fuck What You’ve Heard.

- Blast From The Past. *

- Official.

- The Company You Keep. *

- Much Better.

- Caught up.

- Mean What You Say, Say What You Mean.*

- Obvious. *

- Perfect To Me. *

- New Things. *

- 7 Years. *

————————————————————————————————————————

Tom Grant

Series:

- Rebound.

- Part 1. *

- Part 2. *

- Part 3. (Final) *

Blurbs:

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Others:

- I’m Not Her. *

- Mr. And Mrs. Grant. *

- His Past And His Future. *

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Billy Hargrove

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Others:

- Expression Was Never His Forte. *

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Jamie Campbell Bower

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- Tattoos. *

Kaz Brekker

Angst/Fluff:

- Good and Bad.

————————————————————————————————————————

Request Status: OPEN.

Prompt List: Here.

——————————————————————————

[smol-stardust]

Inej: I couldn't sleep last night

Jesper: They say if you can't sleep, someone is thinking about you

Inej: Who would be thinking about me at 3 a.m.?

Kaz: *silent and stoic panic*

[anakindoodles]

Stormy night was the April discord prompt so I drew angsty Kaz Brekker >:) Ao3 link: x

[a-simple-gaywitch]

angsty you say? what about a kaz brekker x reader where he left them for dead on a job and finds out that they survived a year or so later? like it could be a dramatic reunion on his part where he sees them talking to someone and wonders if it's actually them because he thought they died in that building so long ago? sorry if this is too much!

/5 years prior/

“Kaz! Kaz, don’t leave me!” You yelled as you watched your boss take his prize as you lay bleeding out on the cobblestone. He turned his back to you and walked away.

/present day/

“So, who are we going to meet again?” Jesper asked Kaz as they walked down the streets of Ketterdam.

“Rollins hired a new second, and he’s been stepping on our turf, stealing our pigeons.”

“So we’re going to suggest he stay in Dime Lions territory.”

“Exactly, Jes.”

As they approach the neutral ground, Kaz froze. Standing next to Doughty was a face he thought he’d never see again. Yours.

Your face was scarred up and you wore a patch over your eye, but there was no mistaking it was you.

“(Y/N)?”

“Well, look who it is. Hello, Brekker.”

“What? But how- You were- And now you’re-“

You smiled and stepped closer to Kaz. “You see, after you left me for dead, Rollins crew took me in, fixed me up. Gave me a job.”

“You could have come back to the Slat.”

You barked out a laugh. “After you left the Fjerdans to kill me? No. No, I knew I needed to move on, somewhere I could get my revenge.”

[a-reverii]

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[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Cause it’s you

a/n what the hell is it with Kazzle Dazzle that always makes me write a full ass story inside of a simple little blurb… chokehold.

request: kaz brekker x reader one bed trope on a heist 🙏🙏

warning: blood, injuries, touch aversion, one bed.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Kaz was tired. Bone deep tired. That kind of tired that made you drag your legs through the pavement. His cane was taking most of his weight tonight, and truthfully, Kaz was ready for the day to end. And end as soon as possible. “So… Who’s going in to buy the rooms?” Jesper let out a painful breath. His ribs had to be black and blue by now. He did cover for most of the team during the job, and the way he was leaning on Wylan clearly showed that the adrenaline was wearing off.

“I would, but if I moved even the slightest, they would see blood all over my dress," Nina’s sugary, venomous voice shouted as she glared at Kaz, clearly still annoyed that her perfect dress, not to mention that Kaz bought the said dress, was ruined because of the job gone slightly wrong. Inej didn’t even move from her shadows. She and Kaz had a falling out while the pack trotted through the damp streets, and neither wanted to let go of their grudges.

“I’ve got it, guys," you said softly, catching everyone’s attention. “We all need a hot bath and a good night's sleep." You rested your hand on Nina’s shoulder as you peeked out of the alley. “Flirt your way through it," Jesper whispered. “Get us extra perks, please." The rest of the team snickered quietly.

You were about to respond when Kaz’s cane blocked your way. “No one is flirting, and you’re not going alone." His voice was way sharper than he usually used when he was talking to you. “I can handle myself, boss," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “Yeah, but a lady alone in the shithole like this... Would be too suspicious," Kaz breathed, stepping out and looking back at you.

A couple of hours later, you were finally drying your hands after patching everyone up. Girls had jumped into sharing a room and had walked you out while wiggling eyebrows that you greeted with a middle finger. Wylan was, of course, sharing with Jasper, who had been complaining about the single beds ever since he stepped foot into the room, so you had helped Wylan push them against one another.

It’s not like you hadn’t shared rooms with Kaz. You two grew up together in the slums. You were the one to pull him out of the water when he finally floated to the shore. He had his ever-going addenda of pushing you away ever since, but you had always stuck around. You had always tried to be his voice of reason. "Shit," you muttered once you flicked the light on. “No, no, no," you breathed out, rushing forward. This had to be a joke. What were the odds of getting three rooms and one of them having a double bed? Maybe you could pull them apart; maybe there were two. You yanked the duvet covers off. Fingers searching for a split in the mattress.

“What did that poor bed do to you?" A voice from behind you startled you, making you lose your footing and go face-first into the covers. “Great now, street grime is all over the sheets," he grumbled. “Well, if you weren’t sneaking behind my back, this wouldn’t have happened," you huffed, climbing off the plush sheets. “It’s my room," Kaz breathed out. Your gaze found him as you narrowed your eyes, “Our room, you mean?”.

He held your gaze. Strong. Unmoving. “I’ll take the chair," he muttered under his breath, stepping deeper into the room and starting to undo his jacket. “Like hell you will, your legs will be killing you tomorrow," you huffed, bending to undo your shoes. “And your shoulder won’t?”, Kaz huffed. “Speaking of which," his movements halted as he turned to face you. “Stand up and undo your shirt," he motioned with his hand. You raised an eyebrow at him. “Kaz Brekker, you’re trying to get me naked?”, you teased. Kaz simply tilted his head to the side, his face emotionless. Before he stepped closer, “You have two choices," he said quietly. “Enlighten me," you muttered under your breath. “You take it off willingly, or I will cut it off your body." You could feel his breath on your skin, making a shiver run down your back. “It’s nothing," you breathed. “Prove it," he dared you.

You held his gaze in silence. You knew that it was probably more than bad. You could barely lift your hand, and your shoulder blade was throbbing. It was almost funny how not the fact that you had to strip in front of him made you anxious but the fact that he would see you weak. You hated being vulnerable. When you finally clawed out of the street, you had sworn to never be vulnerable again. And Kaz hated weak investments. He didn’t do deals that weren’t beneficial to him. And now you...

You felt the cold metal tip of his cane slip between the two buttons right in between your breasts. "Hey," you jerked back, turning away from him. “Show me that fucking shoulder, YN," Kaz practically growled. “Or, I’ll...”. But he didn’t get to finish as your hands clumsily moved to undo the handful of buttons until you were practically panting from the panic cursing through your veins. Turning back to him, you yanked the dirty fabric from your body. "Happy," you hissed.

Kaz clenched his jaw. He didn’t even allow himself to blink as he looked at the crusted, angrily red cut and a handful of bruises littering your skin. He forced himself to put them all into his memory. Because this was all his doing. All his games had gotten you hurt. “Wipe those fucking tears off your cheeks," he huffed harshly. Too harshly, and he hated himself for it. But he couldn’t. Physically couldn’t watch you cry. It felt as if someone was carving out his chest. Your shaky hands clumsily wiped the damp patches beneath your eyes.

“You got out. We both did," Kaz muttered because he knew the demons that were clouding your brain now. He had met them too. You nodded. Wrapping your hands around your torso, it only just now hit him that you were standing in front of him topless. Kaz turned around so quickly that he nearly gave himself a whiplash before muttering, “Go, take a bath.”.

Your fingers were crinkling from the time you had spent laying in that hot water. You had hurried off the moment Kaz dismissed you. You knew he would never take advantage of you. And that bodies in general made him uncomfortable, but the way he had turned away from you. As if you were the most ugly creature that he had seen. Now your only salvation was that he might just be asleep by the time you stepped out of the bathroom.

Kaz, however, was far from sleeping. He had lost count of how many times he had walked up to the bathroom door to listen that you were still rustling around. He had lost his jacket and gloves. His hair was messy from all the pulling he has done. The slow turning of the key made him look up. Your hair was done up and still damp. Feet bare. You looked so small, like this. And that deep desire to keep you safe shifted gears without him even realizing it.

“You’re not asleep," you muttered, barely meeting his eyes. “It looks like I’m not," Kaz said quietly. There was no one else whom Kaz trusted the way he trusted you, yet here you two were as if you hadn’t spent the majority of your lives together. “Did you fix your shoulder?” Kaz asked, clearly stalling. You nodded, and he followed suit. “Then get into bed," "Kaz," you huffed. “I didn’t ask," he said, narrowing his eyes at you. You wanted to fight him, but you simply didn’t have enough energy to do so, “And you?”.

You saw something glistening in his eyes for a heartbeat before he swallowed, “I..." and let out a labored breath. “You can also lay down," you muttered. “I will keep to my side; we can put pillows in between." There was a note of hopefulness in your voice. One that held Kaz in a chokehold. “Lay down, woman," he said through gritted teeth. But you caught it. There was that part of him that he hid. So you wasted no time, doing right as he said.

He watched your every move. Watched your frame disappear between the sheets. Only then did Kaz step closer, his breathing hitching in his chest. The tide was rising. threatening to swallow him whole. “Kaz...”, and here it was with that same velvety voice. One that always pulled him right out. Chasing away all of his fears. He blinked a couple of times only to meet your beautiful eyes looking right at him.

“Close your eyes," he breathed, making you frown. “I didn’t know that you getting into bed was such a big secret," you teased. Kaz felt the corners of his lips turning upwards. "Smartass," he whispered under his breath as he swung his legs over the mattress. And for some reason, this didn’t feel too bad. It didn’t seem all that scary now that he was in bed. With you. You. It was because of you. Kaz turned his head to the side, watching you watch him. And for the first time, he let himself look. Not only look, actually see you. And fuck if you weren’t the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“You’re okay?”, you muttered, your fingers slowly moving toward the center of the bed. Kaz watched them getting closer, but he didn’t feel like stopping you. “When am I not okay when I’m with you?" A light gasp left your lips at his words, your lips disappearing between your teeth. “Don’t do that," he grumbled, his fingers only lifting and grazing yours, and you instantly pulled them away. Not wanting to cross his boundaries. "Sorry," you shook your head. “Not your fingers," Kaz protested. “Your lip," he pointed out, making you frown. “What about it?” You brushed your fingers over it, trying to see if you had bitten too hard and drawn blood. “Because if you’ll continue to do it, I’ll...", Kaz swallowed. “I might lose my restraint in holding back." And then he reached out, his shaky fingers brushing over your plump lips. It took all the self-control you had to not whimper at the touch. Savoring the way his fingers felt, you only let your eyes close for a second, and then there was nothing. As if you had imagined it. You had barely caught Kaz practically jumping out of bed. Reaching for his jacket and cane. "Kaz," you breathed, pushing the covers off your body. But your plea was met with a slam of the door.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Heated Gaze (SAB/SOC One-Shot)

Kaz Brekker x GN!Reader 18+ / requests are open

Summary: Kaz likes to watch you play with yourself.

Fic type: smut

SAB/SOC: @the-sweet-psycho @midnight--raine (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Kaz was a simple man who liked simple pleasures- and watching you finger your own ass open while he watched from his comfortable leather couch was one of them.

Saints, how he loved the sight of you splitting yourself open on your own fingers for him, squirming with the burn and the tug of the stretch. He adjusted himself slightly, feeling himself straining against his slacks. Leather-clad fingers clenched around the cane perched on his lap.

Calculating eyes dilated with desire watched your expression, enraptured by your pleasure. Kaz smirked slightly when you managed to slip another finger inside.

"Touch yourself?" You asked breathily, rocking against your fingers. Your hooded eyes analysed his reaction, heat shooting down your nerves and straight between your legs.

Kaz's smirk widened into a predatory smile. Not quite a grin, but not far off either. He leaned forward in his seat, eyeing you hungrily. Arching a brow, he questioned you silently.

"Please sir," you added with a whimper, cheeks flushing at the look on his face. You weren't embarrassed to be fucking yourself on your fingers on the floor in front of him, but when he looked at you like that- as if he could see into the deepest parts of yourself, well, that turned you shy. Kaz Brekker could take you apart with one look and he knew it too.

Kaz brushed his coat open and parted his knees, rubbing a hand over his clothed cock. You noted his nostrils flaring and knew he was just as far gone as you were. You chewed on your lip, desperate to see more of him.

"Get your toy," Kaz demanded, undoing the button on his pants and taking himself out. You rushed to obey, grasping your toy from where it was waiting patiently on the coffee table. Kaz rubbed some oil onto his glove and swiped his thumb over the head of his cock.

You rubbed your toy against your sex, enjoying the brief stimulation, though Kaz's predatory warning look snapped you out of it quick smart. You placed it by your stretched out hole and waited for Kaz's command.

"Rub that pretty hole for me," he said, eyes caught on the erotic display. You obeyed, rubbing the oiled toy around your entrance. Your brows furrowed slightly with the effort of not giving in to your desire to push it inside. Instead, you pushed it up against your entrance teasingly- just like you daydreamed about Kaz doing sometimes.

"Put it in," Kaz breathed, voice cracking with lust. "Slowly," he added in a more commanding tone. You obliged, slowly pushing the toy through the ring of muscle fighting with you despite your preparations.

The toy wasn't hugely thick, but it was thick enough to stretch and burn, and as you pushed it inch by agonising inch, you couldn't help dropping your head back. You felt so fucking full- felt so good.

The sound of wet skin against leather caught your attention, and you looked up to see Kaz working at his cock, one hand tightening against his cane and the other pumping his cock rhythmically. Pleasure shot up your spine at the sight. There was something so fucking hot about seeing someone like Kaz- always so put together- seeing them come undone. Watching them let at least a little of their guard down.

Finally, the toy reached as far as it could go, and a truly inhuman groan of relief escaped you. You felt so fucking full. You were aching to play with yourself- to touch that spot that set your nerves alight.

"Again," Kaz grunted, fucking his gloved hand, though his eyes were on yours, drinking down the sight of you. You nodded, whimpering slightly as you started to bring the toy back out of you. The sense of fullness waned, and you hated how desperate it made you feel.

Pushing the toy back inside, your control started to slip, moving faster. You groaned, eyes rolling back into your head at how good the rough thrusting felt inside you rubbing up against your walls.

"Fuck," you panted, grinding your hips against it. "So fucking full. K-Kaz- feels so good."

Kaz grinned, fire glinting in his eyes. You whimpered as he devoured you with that look alone, pleasure seeping through his features. He gestured for you to come closer and you shuffled towards him.

"Do you want me to finish all over your filthy skin?" He asked, bottom lip catching between his teeth as his cock jolted. "Want me to cum all over your pretty belly while you fuck your ass with that toy?"

You whimpered, fucking yourself harder. Your other hand crept down to play with yourself, not caring if he punished you for that later or not. His eyes blazed, and the pace of his hand matched your own.

"Fuck, Kaz- yes, please-" you gasped, fighting to keep your eyes from closing so you could drink in every single detail of his face.

"Fuck yourself harder," Kaz grunted, pumping his cock furiously. His jaw tensed as he approached his peak. You did as you were told, fucking the toy into your ass as fast and hard as you could manage what with your other hand working at your sex. God, you wouldn't last long like this.

"S-Saints- oh-" Kaz broke off into a moan as his seed spurted from his cock, landing on your skin. You cried out, knowing that you, too, were about to finish.

His spend dripped from your chest and neck all the way down to where your hand met yourself, and the ravenous, heated look mixed with the softness he inhabited post-finish were enough to send you over as well.

You roiled on the floor, thighs jerking as you finally finished too. Pleasure rode out across your body as your muscles went from tense to oh-so-relaxed. You felt your ass clenching around the toy, and you groaned as you started to slow your motions.

You were exhausted, ready to just collapse on the floor. Sweat beaded along your skin, making you shimmer before him.

"Exquisite," Kaz murmured reverently. "You're perfect."

You flushed alongside your breathy chuckle, still catching your breath.

"I think that goes for you too, Kaz," you replied, sliding down onto the floor and stretching out your arms. "Oh, fuck, that feels good. What would you say to ordering some food from downstairs to be delivered up here?"

Kaz put himself away and nodded curtly.

"I am hungry, actually. Stay there, I'll be back."

You reached for the wash cloth that you'd pre-emptively brought up with you when Kaz had told you to get upstairs earlier and washed the mess from your body.

It wasn't long before Kaz was back, and it wasn't long after that before your food was brought up, steaming and delicious. If there was one perk to being with the Bastard of the Barrel, it was the food.

You enjoyed a nice night together. Eating, then having a quiet conversation about your day. Kaz even managed to brush his gloved hand over your arm once or twice.

It definitely made the soreness you dealt with in the morning much more tolerable.

[love-strawberry]

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Red ribbon

Kaz brekker x Child!Reader. (Platonic!) 

I wanted more sibling like pairings, my inner child needs this. (Made me really happy to make this.)

This is like a blurb/Drabble because idk the difference.

Readers appearance: Looking like Jordie, so looking like kazs sister if he had one. Skin tone, hair and skin but it’s never mentioned really . Just the hair type being used and mentioned of looking like Jordie.

Warnings: Fluffy, undertone of a little angst, this is really short, but this is just a cute little thing I want to do.

He had no idea what he was doing. This was never a problem, and never should have been a problem. But you were so happy when you saw the red ribbon and begged him to put it in your hair. He had offered for Jesper and Inej to do it, Inej knew girl hair and Jesper has his wits..But kaz brekker knew nothing about this.

“Come on, you’re so slow.” You wiggled and whined in the chair. Kaz sighed and held the ribbon in his hand and looked at you through the mirror with a glare, “I can still walk away.” He stated. And it was true, if you were going to be annoying he wouldn’t continue. Huffing you stood up straight and waited for him to get to it.

He remembers what Inej taught him to do, taking two strands of hair by your ear and clipping them together. So he started to find the hair and pulled them back and did the same to the other side, this wasn’t hard but he was still worried about doing it wrong.

This was a small thing to worry over and dirtyhands shouldn’t stress over it but here he was, stressing. Kaz wanted nothing more then to see you smile and happy, after taking you under his wing you grew close too him. You looked so much like him…It was sometimes hard to even look at you. But you were a hope of light that was sent into his life and he was going to do everything to keep you safe.

Smiling in your seat as you see him finally getting to the ridden, you almost couldn’t keep still. Watching him tie it and make a bow you giggled and waited for him to be done. He rolled his eyes and pulled his hands away from your head and looked up at you with a annoyed look. “Happy?” He asked.

Jumping up and put your face against the mirror to look at yourself, “Very!” Shouting as you swing your head from side to side. His stomach filled with warmth at the sight of you…The joy of a child was healing some part of him inside. “I need to show the others.” You shoot up and ran passed him and to the door, “Thank you!” He watches you slide to the left and run down the hallway.

He groaned and took a big breath. “That kid.” He shook his head as he remembered telling you never to run down the stairs and you always ignored his commands. His lips curled up and he smiled lightly at the thought of your smile, how you made him feel. You were his family, you were the crow’s family.

Jordie would have loved you…

[stray-kaz]

Green : a Kaz Brekker x f!reader oneshot

A/N: Thank you for anon Kaz request/prompt.

Summary: Jealousy on Kaz is green. Short interconnected blurbs on how Kaz reacts to jealousy.

Before you are officially with Kaz

You arrived home to the Slat from a solo mission for Kaz hours after you were supposed to. He was pacing, aching all up and down his bad leg, when you eventually slipped through the door, favouring your left arm pressed against your stomach.

Kaz didn’t have time to say a word before Jesper was rushing you. At the very last second, he clocked your injury and grabbed you around the waist instead, leaning you backward and forward. You sank into him, relief in every limb.

Jesper nodded to Kaz as he guided you past him, one arm still around your waist.

“I’ve got her, boss” he said, and helped you to sit down.

Kaz felt his fingers curl inside his gloves, itching to touch you, to embrace you as easily as Jesper did, all easy grins and natural affection.

And then Inej hustled over with the med kit, already opening the box to pull out a sling. You turned on the bench seat and leaned against Jesper’s side as Inej gently rolled up your shirt sleeve to assess the damage. Bruising was already present and you breathed sharply through your nose when she carefully prodded your arm, searching for breaks. She glanced apologetically at you.

“Sorry” she murmured. “Good news, I think it’s just sprained. Give her a few days, Kaz, and she’ll be fine.”

She looked over her shoulder at him and caught the pained expression on his face as he watched you be cared for by Crows who weren’t him. But then he felt her staring and altered his expression, gave her a terse nod, fierce mask set back in place.

“Good” he muttered, eyes dark and hooded.

He walked away before he could see Inej ease your arm and shoulder into the sling, your eyes closing in peace and relief as Jesper dropped a kiss onto your hair.

Nina found Kaz in his office to deliver the unwelcome news: back home in Ravka, your sister had died. He felt sick, the sensation of cold, dead flesh on his hands an immediate affliction. She watched as he stood up slowly, leaning heavily on his cane.

“Are you all right?” she asked, a little uncertain.

He shook his head.

“Excuse me, Nina” he said abruptly, and walked quickly past her, careful not to let his shoulder brush hers.

The Slat was silent, the entire building seemingly in mourning for your loss. Silent except for the soft sounds of muffled sobs coming from your bedroom, which was just one flight down from his. The door was open just enough, angled toward your bed. Sitting on the edge of it was Matthias, and you were curled in his lap, burying your sobs in his shoulder.

Kaz froze in the doorway as he remembered Matthias had also lost a sister and managed to carry on living, just like Kaz but different. And Matthias could touch you, give physical comfort and understanding, and Kaz couldn’t.

He didn’t recognise the ache in his chest at first, but by the time he realised it was a broken heart, he was gone.

The Crow Club was roaring with noise, coins clattering, cards snicking, drinks pouring. None of Kaz’s Crows had ever seen you drink, which was probably why Kaz was keeping his sharpest eye on you instead of on the pigeons. 

You wanted to lose some of the pain in your heart from the loss of your sister, which they all understood, but every single one was subtly watching you, just in case. Eventually, Jesper flicked a signal to the bartender: you were cut off and it was to stay that way.

There was a thump on the barstool next to him and he glanced over to see you, eyes big and framed by dark lashes; you batted them at him and something constricted in his chest and he glanced quickly around, looking for Kaz but not seeing him.

“Jes....” you murmured. “You know somethin’?”

He cleared his throat.

“What, sweetheart? What’s going on in that clever head of yours?”

You leaned up and put a hand on his jaw, tipping his head up slightly so you could examine his face, mind foggy.

“You’re so pretty.”

He felt his face warm, tried to laugh it off.

“Well, of course I know that” he purred.

But you weren’t finished. Something shuttered behind your eyes and Jesper reached out to hold your shoulders as you started to sway on your seat.

“And you touch me” you slurred quietly. “You let me touch you. He never does. You know?”

Jesper sighed and glanced over your head, this time catching sight of Kaz standing only a few feet away, his jewel eyes hard. He had heard all of it, or at least enough of it, and knew now that you were just as longing for him as he was for you.

The Event

Kaz knocked on the door to your bedroom and you looked up, surprised to see him hovering. Knocking wasn’t a Kaz Brekker specialty. Breaking and entering was.

“Do you need me for something, boss?” you asked, giving him a small smile.

He nodded and you unfolded your legs to stand, waiting for an order, a job, instructions. Instead, Kaz extended a gloved hand, his jaw set firmly.

“Would you come for a walk with me?”

You paused, a little confused.

“For reconnaissance? Surveillance?” you persisted.

His eyebrows pulled slightly together.

“Would it make you feel better if I said yes?” Kaz asked you.

You shook your head.

“No” you admitted honestly.

“Then no, it’s not for either of those things.”

You reached for his hand and felt cool leather slip against your skin as your fingers touched. It was a simple thing, but it was a start.

After you and Kaz are officially together

The Slat was mostly empty for a change, Kaz wasn’t immediately busy, so you had taken the opportunity to drag him downstairs to sit in a little patch of quiet normalcy, your legs swung across his lap. There was a slight twinge in his injured leg from your warm weight, but he ignored it, opting instead to find peace in your relative closeness. He hadn’t kissed you yet, but he knew you were happy just holding his hand.

Closeness to you both meant sitting inches apart in the quiet of his office while he finished off a week’s money ledger; meeting in the kitchen in the middle of the night away from spying eyes to sneak midnight snacks (Inej knows this, it is not a secret); sitting like this, all covered but touching nevertheless.

Your closeness was limited, which was why Kaz was so irritated when one of the lower ranked Dregs members approached to tell you a joke. It wasn’t funny like Jesper’s or clever like Nina’s, but he heard you laugh politely anyway and then turn down an offer to run a small job. 

You shook your head and shuffled closer to lean your head on Kaz’s shoulder.

“No, thanks” you said pleasantly enough. “I only take orders from one man.”

Unbeknownst to you, Kaz wore the smuggest smirk any of the Dregs had ever seen. One gloved hand closed on the back of your neck and Kaz jerked his head at the gang member in a very clear direction: get lost. The boy shuffled away, no doubt terrified. 

“That wasn’t funny” Kaz muttered.

You snorted and looked up at his face.

“No, it wasn’t. But Kaz, I wasn’t going to go anywhere with him anyway. I’m comfortable right here.”

He nodded, hesitated, then pressed a light, quick kiss to your temple. You tucked your head back down and smiled to yourself; maybe jealousy looked good on him.

Kaz had thought the night he watched you flirt with Jesper was in the top five worst nights of his life, but when he saw another man flirt with you, it was quickly cast out of the list and replaced.

The Crow Club was a little quieter than usual, thanks to a new, flashier club opening across the way, and you had the time to sit with Jesper at the piano while he played, and listen to him. He arched his eyebrows when the tall, blond pigeon sauntered over to the piano stool and dared to put a hand on you, lifting your chin up so you had no choice but to look up and meet his eyes.

Jesper was silent, hiding a snigger. He knew you were more than capable of breaking this man’s wrist, and the prickling on the nape of his neck told him that Kaz was aware and watching. This pigeon would not leave the Crow Club entirely intact this night.

“You’re quite something, aren’t you?” the man said, smiling down at you. “Sweetest girly I’ve seen since arriving in Ketterdam.”

“Sweet” Jesper mumbled under his breath, grinning. “That’s just wonderful, really.”

You twisted your head away from the stranger’s hand to glance at your friend.

“I’m plenty sweet, Jesper Fahey” you retorted. “But he isn’t.”

You tilted her head in the direction of Kaz’s sharp eyed approach, his gait stiffer than normal, fingers clenched around the head of his crow cane.

The pigeon turned around to follow yours and Jesper’s joined gazes, his expression turning confused and a little concerned at the sight of Kaz.

“Who are you?” he asked, upper lip curling slightly.

Kaz mirrored it and the other man took a step back.

“I’m the proprietor” he said quietly, his voice like flint on steel. “And this sweet girl is mine. Which hand did you touch her with?”

You stood up and quietly closed the piano lid down, nudging Jesper to his feet. You could guess what would happen next.

The blond man didn’t answer, so you pointed to his right hand before leaning back against the bulk of the piano, fingers curled loosely around the edge.

“Jesper” Kaz said coolly. “Hold him, please.”

Jesper sighed and paced quickly around behind the man, securing his left arm tightly behind his back and then pressing his right hand down firmly on the top of the shining piano. He fought, frantic, but in spite of his wiriness, Jesper was deceptively strong and he held him down, kept him as still as possible as Kaz moved closer, settling the heaviest part of his cane higher in his hand.

You watched with only the faintest of winces as he brought the crow head down hard on the white knuckled, wide spread fingers. Four of them crunched loudly and he screamed, sagging against Jesper’s striped waistcoat. His face was bleached of colour, his eyes rolling wetly in their sockets. Jesper released him, he stumbled away and threw up, cradling his damaged hand to his chest.

Jesper looked down at the floor in disgust, stepped carefully away in his brand new boots.

“Was that really necessary, boss?” he asked, glancing over at Kaz.

Kaz’s answering look silenced him and he loped away to find someone to clean up the mess left behind by the pigeon who had somehow made it to the door and out into the damp, misty darkness.

“Ready?” you asked Kaz, pushing off the piano.

He reached for your hand.

“Yes.”

Dusk in Ketterdam had just started to close in over the city by the time you stepped out with Kaz on a rare date night. Your dress swirled around your ankles in the cool evening breeze, silk jacket cinched tightly at your hips. You moved a few feet away from the Crow Club, knowing Kaz was just behind you locking up.

The voice that came from the left of you instead of behind made you tense, but you were comforted by the knowledge of Kaz close by and of the stiletto hidden up your sleeve.

“Hey, pretty thing, if Dirtyhands isn’t doing it for you, come with me and I’ll show you what a real man can do.”

You sighed and Kaz separated from the shadow at your back. Expressionless except for the contemptuous twist of a sneer, he dropped his good foot down on the man’s ankle, drove his weight down and twisted, hard. He screamed as his ankle popped and tendons tore. He toppled onto the wet ground, clutching gingerly at the ruined appendage.

You gazed down at the man as you linked your arm through Kaz’s, stepping away from the prone, wailing form.

Coolly, you said, “I recommend a cane.”

Tagging: @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r​ @futurecorps3​