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beatbawksradio · 9 months

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┍━☽【monsters】☾━┑

[CW: implied SA, physical abuse, verbal abuse]

He wasn’t even all the way to the apartment door, and he could already hear the screaming. Alarmed and worried, the large Alolan man rushed to the door, checking for signs of a break-in, before attempting to open it. However, he was met with the opposite response that he expected; the door was still locked. He heard a crash from inside, and more vague words being barked, and his heart started to race more. Did they get in through a window? Did they lock the door behind them? He shook his mind free of the questions, choosing instead to act first and find out, thrusting his bulky body against the door. It rattled, but the lock ultimately held; he cracked his knuckles, before ramming his shoulder into it once more, this time ripping some of the wood away as the doorknob’s latch was twisted away from it’s position. The man stumbled a bit from the recoil, quickly regaining his footing and scanning the area for information. He pushed the door closed behind him as best he could, then darted around the apartment in search for the source of the altercation.

He stopped when he heard the troubled crying echoing from the bedroom. He turned, quietly shuffling to inspect the area. He could see the bed, its blankets in disarray and the pillows haphazardly tossed about, and he could see some of the dressers had their contents thrown out, including some of the drawers themselves. He blinked a few times, and cautiously step further into the room. However, he saw no one, no one who seemed to be a threat, and also not the source of the crying. Still unsure of the situation, he tiptoed around around the bed, suspecting the voice was coming from the other side of it.

“Stop…” A wavering voice suddenly called from the floor. “Stop… STOP. STOP IT. I SAID STOP.” They suddenly began yelling, the sound of hands pounding and scratching against the wall quickly following. “DON’T TOUCH ME. GET AWAY FROM ME. STOP.” The screams continued, alongside the sounds of frantic human scrambling against the corner they had found themselves in.

Unsure if the commands were referring to him or to a threat, Shitlord made the judgment call to ignore them and make sure there wasn’t someone actually attacking his partner. But when he finally rounded the corner of the bed, he was shocked at the sight he was met with. There was Vibe, his tiny, fragile frame all twisted up in fear, and his razzled hair tangled and messy from what seemed to be the aftermath of manually twisting and pulling it. What he couldn’t see was the source of whatever he was talking to. Vibe wasn’t looking at him, he was looking towards the ceiling, but his widened, dread-filled eyes were certainly fixated on something.

“STOOOOP!” Vibe screamed again, squeezing his eyes and wildly throwing his claws out, almost like a cat. “JUST FUCKING STOP. STAY AWAY. STOP IT. DON’T TOUCH ME, DON’T, DON’T.” He kept shouting, kicking his legs and convulsing. He let out a long, shrill shriek, his hands grabbing at his hair and scratching. It melted into a loud, desperate sob, as his body battled against trying to make noise and taking in big huffs of air to stay alive. He was completely inconsolable.

Shitlord took in the scene, backing up a bit and taking in a deep breath. Oh, Arcs. He thought to himself, horrified. He’s fucked up. He’s not here with us right now. This dude’s seein’ some fuckin’ monsters. He quickly scanned the room, noticing some vague remains of some illegal berries he recognized. Arcsdammit, Vibe. How fucked up did you get? What the fuck did you mix? He mentally scolded, but shook his head. It was purely out of worry, the things he was saying were alarming, and Shitlord really didn’t feel equipped to handle a situation like this. Nonetheless, he had to act, he had to do something. He couldn’t just leave Vibe to suffer like this, but he wasn’t sure-

“NO!” Vibe screamed again. “NO NO NO NO NO STOP. DON’T TOUCH ME THERE DON’T-” He flailed, grabbing some object nearby him and viciously throwing it towards the ceiling, which nearly missed Shitlord and knocked over their standing mirror. Vibe shrieked again, writhing and crawling to the other side of the wall, kicking some invisible thing that was after him. “STAY AWAY STAY AWAY!” He roared, his strained voice causing some of the walls to slightly rumble.

Shitlord knew he needed to do something, he just wasn’t sure if he should do it fast, or slow; quiet, or loud. He didn’t want to make the situation worse, and he was afraid Vibe was so out of his mind that he might not even understand him if he tried. He might end up thinking Shitlord’s the one trying to hurt him, and that was the opposite of what he wanted. Regardless, he approached the feral little man, his hands cautiously out and ready to defend himself if he needed to. “Vibe? It’s me, Shitlord, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?” He attempted.

He was met with just another scream, as Vibe cowered and covered up his head and body with his own arms and legs. “STOP IT! GET OFF OF ME! GET OUT OF ME!” He yelled, kicking his legs even more. His sobs grew thicker and louder, and his body started twitching and spasming.

“VIBE!” He shouted, hoping it’d snap Vibe out of it. He succeeded, for once, noticing the smaller man blinking and trying to get his eyes back into focus. “Are you there? Did you come back to reality?” Shitlord inquired.

Vibe took a moment to catch his breath, slowing his breathing and holding back his sobs. “Oh my Arcs,” He sputtered out, “what… what happened?” He asked, peering around the room.

“Seems like you took way too much bullshit and freaked the fuck out on me. You good now?” Shitlord bluntly informed, kneeling down and inspecting his partner’s condition. “Didn’t hurt yourself, did you?” His strict tone almost betrayed the genuine worry that carried his words.

“I…” Vibe’s eyes squinted in embarrassment and remorse, looking away from Shitlord and towards himself. He lifted his hands, noticing his fingers were trembling, and tried to recall what he just experienced. “...I… maybe… I don’t think… This isn’t just the drugs…” He managed to stutter out.

“What are you talking about?” Shitlord squinted, alarmed.

Vibe stayed quiet for a moment, his frazzled hair obscuring his face. He finally put his hands down, his head tilting back to stare towards the ceiling. His eyes looked nowhere, though, he seemed to be looking inward, instead. He let his head droop again, shaking it, before finally turning towards his partner in crime, letting strands of hair fall away with gravity to reveal his apprehensive expression. “Have you ever heard of… Dimensional Scream?” He asked, hesitantly.

“Dimensional… What?” Shitlord reacted with a deeply incredulous expression. “All I heard was the Scream part.” He responded, a bit jokingly.

But Vibe wasn’t smiling. He turned his eyes slightly away, as if studying different parts of the room. Almost like he was reacting to changes that only he could see. “It’s a rare condition that affects-” he cut himself off, not sure how to phrase himself. “...people like me. It’s like being stuck between worlds, between timelines, and sometimes things collide and you get stuck somewhere you don’t want-” He suddenly stopped, gasping and his eyes going wide, as if he had just been shot.

The walls had started to fracture. Like mirrors colliding with mirrors, the space they were sitting in began to slide away, to condense itself, to rip itself apart. Vibe felt his body pulled with it, he felt slices glide across his muscles, he felt forces gripping and twisting at his bones. A flash, like a jolt of lighting, and his body was crumbled, crunched into a tiny ball of limbs bent the wrongest ways, in places they shouldn’t bend. A flash, like the crash of the ocean’s wave, and he felt himself unfurled, and flattened, his breath pushed out of him as his lungs collapsed. A flash, like the ignition of an explosion, and he felt his skin burn and peel, his sinew twist and pull itself apart. A flash, like the snap of the camera, and for one moment, he was back to normal. He quickly caught in a breath, feeling the room warping as gravity slowly pulled him towards the ceiling, and then a flash thrusted him to the walls and bookshelves, cracking and crushing them into pieces, his own body shattering as if it was made of glass.

A deafening warp focused in on him, and for a moment he felt like things were normal again. He took in a desperate breath, but felt an uneasy lack of pressure or force. Almost as if he was floating in space or water, but he was clearly still in the room. His body began to feel numb from the synthesized sensations, and he tried to force himself back into a grounded position before the distortion hit him again. He froze, though, he couldn’t move his legs, they were caught on something. He tried his arms, but they wouldn’t budge either. He tugged, realizing he was being restrained, he was being bound. He felt cold, crystalline trails snaking up his arms and legs, chilling his veins and freezing him in place. He saw a dark silhouette of a person hovering over him, and he screamed at it as loud as he could.

“Vibe, I’m not going to hurt you. Please, look at me.” Shitlord tried again, hoping that if Vibe opened his eyes, he’d see his friend and would calm down a little. He only sort of got what he asked for, though. Vibe did open his eyes, but upon making eye contact with Shitlord’s massive frame, he only grew more terrified, screaming and suddenly launching himself at the larger man. Vibe pounded on his chest, scratching and clawing, throwing everything he could muster at him. He pounded his head against him, kicked him, used his arms, his elbows, his chest-

But Shitlord just stood there, blinking. None of what Vibe was doing to him… was actually hurting him. At all.

Vibe was literally too weak to hurt him.

Shitlord exhaled, relaxing his shoulders and allowing himself to take the beating. It gave him the chance to think, to really study Vibe’s situation. He was seeing monsters, and those monsters were hurting him. If he believed Shitlord was one of those monsters, then it was completely understandable for him to lash out in self defense. It’s even more understandable given the result, here. He sighed, he felt bad for Vibe. He didn’t need to imagine what it was like to be so completely powerless in the face of someone hurting you, he knew exactly what that felt like, too. It was the entire reason he learned how to be strong and fight; but Vibe, he couldn’t do that. His body was fragile, he was sensitive, he was made of glass. And even despite how fragile he is, he always threw himself into dangerous situations and got himself hurt, anyway. Shitlord wondered for a long time what his deal was, but now he was starting to understand.

You can’t hurt me if I hurt me. Shitlord thought to himself, looking up to the ceiling again as the onslaught against his chest and ears continued. If the only way he can defend himself is to hurt himself, then he would just go ahead and shatter himself in the process. Shitlord knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep this up for long, he could already see that Vibe was starting to develop bruises in his hands and wrists from how hard he was trying to do any degree of damage. He just couldn’t. He just wasn’t strong enough. And Shitlord didn’t really like that. He didn’t like the idea of not being able to hurt something even though you’re throwing everything you’ve got at them. He didn’t like the idea of feeling so completely powerless that the monster that’s hurting you wouldn’t budge no matter what.

So he budged. He let himself start getting pushed back and around by Vibe’s pathetic blows. He grunted, and he leaned back, letting Vibe take him to the ground and overpower him. He let Vibe win. He let Vibe defeat his monster.

And after Vibe’s punches finally started to die down, he gave himself a quiet moment of victory. He lifted his head, and there was a brief satisfied smile adorning his face, but it was quickly replaced with the widened eyes of fear and anxiety. Vibe tossed himself back, crawling backwards and away, horrified of what he had done, his breathing starting to quicken with panic. The large shadow slowly rose, and he whimpered, throwing his hands over his head. “I- I- I’m sorry! I- I didn’t- I don’t know what I was- I’m-” he stuttered out, his sobs returning. “I- I didn’t… I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He questioned, his voice quivering with shame. “...Lucas?” He added on.

That name met him with surprise. That wasn’t his name, and judging by Vibe’s reaction here… it seemed like he was still seeing a monster. He was seeing someone who he didn’t feel safe around. Someone he felt like he needed to shield himself from. This wasn’t a comforting name, and he knew that going along with it would only make things worse. He didn’t want Vibe to think he should feel safe with someone who’s name brings fear to mind. He wanted Vibe to feel safe with a name that gave him comfort and relief.

“Keanu.” He gently spoke. “My name is Keanu.”

He noticed Vibe squint and turn his head, as if studying him. “Ke- I.. I don’t know that name…” he shook his head, growing even more scared.

“It’s my real name.” He softly informed. “Keanu Maliah. I only tell it to people I trust. People I care about.” He admitted, earnestly.

Vibe blinked again, taking in some troubled breaths. His shoulders began to slightly relax, however, but he tensed up almost just as fast. “Did I hurt you?” His voice quivered with fear as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Keanu hesitated, blinking a couple times. He looked away, putting a hand to his chin in thought, but then ultimately decided on something and nodded to himself. He turned back, determination in his eyes. “Yes. You did hurt me.” He lied through his teeth.

Vibe gasped. “Oh no, Oh Arcs, I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I’m-” he grabbed his hair and pulled his head down. “I never meant to- I’m sorry, I’m-”

“Why are you apologizing?” Keanu asked firmly, genuinely confused.

“Because I’m not supposed to hurt people! Physical abuse is wrong, and no one deserves abuse!” He cried, confused about Keanu’s question. “I’m supposed to apologize when I hurt people!”

“You’re not supposed to apologize for defending yourself, though. Which you were.” He calmly reassured.

“Were you hurting me?” Vibe interrogated, suddenly alarmed.

“No.” Keanu tilted his head kindly. “But, you thought I was. You were seeing a monster, and that monster was hurting you. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with attacking a monster who’s hurting you.” He offered.

“But you weren’t actually a monster.” Vibe desperately reminded him. “You weren’t actually hurting me. Me having an outburst doesn’t justify hurting you for no reason.” He argued.

“I don’t care about that.” Keanu responded, candidly. “I don’t care about what I was or wasn’t doing. I care about what you were seeing.” He tilted again, towards the other side. “What you were feeling.” He emphasized.

“What I was seeing and feeling doesn’t matter, because it wasn’t real.” Vibe responded, almost with viciousness. It was hard to tell if that viciousness was directed towards Keanu, or if it was actually directed towards himself.

“You thought it was real.” Keanu reminded.

“But it WASN’T.” Vibe retaliated, growing frustrated.

“Doesn’t matter. Not to me. Because you thought it was real. And because you thought it was real, that means it was actually real to you.” Keanu shifted, relaxing back on his arm. “What you experienced in there was a real experience. The ways you were being touched were real feelings of being touched. The trauma you were facing was real trauma. Whether any of that is tangible to me or anyone else is irrelevant. It was tangible to you, and you were damaged by it.” He sighed, leaning in a bit. “That’s why it’s okay for you to hurt me. I want you to hurt me.”

Vibe shook his head, frustrated. “Why would you want me to hurt you? You hurting me doesn’t make it okay to just hurt you back!” He fought with his own pacifistic philosophies.

“Actually, it does. I want you to hurt me because I want you to be able to fight off your monsters.” He gave Vibe a stern look of compassion. “Some monsters aren’t going to stop hurting you unless you hurt them. And sometimes you gotta hurt them harder. That’s what self defense is all about. You’re protecting yourself from monsters. And if I was acting like a monster, hurting you and not letting up when you told me to, I would want you to be able to hurt and stop me, too. That’s not something you should ever feel bad about doing, nor should you apologize to the monsters hurting you for doing what you need to do to save yourself from them.” He exhaled, pulling himself back some. “Why do you feel like you need to apologize to a monster?”

“Because I’m just not supposed to hurt people. That makes me a bad person.” He desperately cried.

“There is nothing morally incorrect about defending yourself.” Keanu’s brow twitched with frustration. “To be honest with you? I’d argue it’s actually a lot more wrong to convince others that self defense is ‘bad.’ I think whoever instilled that idea in your head is the one who’s the bad person, twisting morality in order to make you believe that you’re incapable of helping yourself survive without having to wear some cone of shame over it. Like anyone would actually look at you with disdain or disappointment because you attacked someone who attacked you first.” He explained. “You have something in you- a beast, a monster of your own- that makes you dangerous. That protects you. That frees you from defenselessness and lets you stand on your own.” He knuckled his own chest for a moment. “I have one, too. It’s who we call ‘Shitlord.’ He’s the monster that I let out around the people I don’t trust, so no one hurts who I am on the inside.” His eyes softened, and he gently exhaled. “You have one, too, and I want him to feel strong. I want him to feel capable.” He eyed Vibe, briefly making eye contact. “I suspect ‘Vibe’ isn’t your only name, either. And I wanna make sure Vibe knows that he’s allowed to protect that other little guy in there who needs protection.” He tilted his head again, closing his eyes compassionately. “He’s doing a good job at it.”

Vibe’s breath quivered, and he remained silent this time. He had no argument, he didn’t know what to say. He knew it was wrong to hit people, yet here he was, in the aftermath of his feral actions, and still being given this chance of forgiveness and understanding. He felt like his whole world was being turned on its head, and he began to flash through memories with a sudden new lens. He felt a sense of validation within him, a sense of feeling seen, of feeling understood, empathized with, and forgiven. He looked inside, and he saw himself; he saw two selves, one who was terrified, and one who was angry. The two of them finally turned around and looked at each other, realizing that they were the ones exacerbating their own contrasted emotions. They both softened, pulling each other into a mental hug, and Vibe was pulled back into the reality before him.

He looked at Keanu, considering their circumstances, considering the person he presented to him. Vibe didn’t like him at first, he didn’t trust him, he thought he was just another manipulative brute who would bully anyone into doing what he wanted. But here he was, showing a level of compassion, empathy, and selflessness that Vibe had never experienced from anyone else. He had never known it to exist outside himself. His shoulders finally relaxed, as he let himself slip away into the comforting safety net of genuine trust, of genuine comfort. He exhaled, still at a loss for words, deciding instead to just crawl over and curl himself up against Keanu’s chest.

The sudden masculine dose of affection caught him off guard, but Keanu accepted the hug anyway, wrapping his beefy arms around the tiny little guy, relaxing his head against Vibe’s. He pulled Vibe in close, but then felt a sudden urge to pull him in closer, then found himself pulling him in even closer. He could feel himself get hot with nervousness, but let it ride anyway. Something about this kind of vulnerability made him feel brave, not embarrassed. “I want you to feel safe.” He whispered, cradling the smaller man. “I want you to feel in control. I want you to feel like you’re going to be okay.” He affectionately nudged his cheek against Vibe’s head again.

“I do…” Vibe quietly whispered, his arms softly slithering down and caressing Keanu’s sides. “...when I’m with you.” He tacked on, relaxing his body against Keanu’s holding him tighter than he’d ever held any person before.

Keanu wasn’t sure what came over him, but something compelled him to put the smallest little peck against Vibe’s head. He almost regretted it immediately after doing it, afraid Vibe would reel back out of discomfort, but that reaction never came. The two simply stayed there, relaxing against each other, enjoying each other, feeling safe with each other, for a period of time that never seemed to end. Neither of them really wanted it to. Time itself seemed to stop moving, as the soft, cloudy feeling of safety and comfort surrounded them, the drumming of their heartbeats harmonizing an intimate song together, as the two laid there in silence, fading into the shadows of after midnight’s dreams, together.

#beatsposting #vibevibe #keanuvibe #suddenly i drabbled #deciding to just randomly pump out story ideas as they come to me and worry about piecing together the chronology later #also if you want mood music check out dream sequence by glitch mob #somewhat inspired this

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