#kevin. kevin please. kevin where is my hard drive

[serpercival]

currently talking to best buy support because the thing I could only order online was only available through a shipping service that relies entirely on contractors and after three hours of the delivery driver being "one minute away" they cancelled the order and nobody can tell me where my fucking hard drive is and I *really* do not want to be out 130 dollars on this if Kevin stole my goddamn package

[ash5monster01]

PLEASE MORE SMOKE SESH SMUTTTTTT imagine pink shotgunning a joint with you. Like you teasingly ask if he’s ever shotgunned a joint before and he’s like yeah once or twice, and reader is like oh! Wow 😳 and he’s like why you wanna try 😏 and he holds her chin while he does it!!!!! Oh my lord anywayyyy, I’m getting carried away

Smoke Sesh Pt. 2

Pairing: Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd x FemReader

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, p in v, heavy flirting, dirty talk, no use of condom, drug use, mentions of hickeys, relationship talk, fluff

Summary: Finding yourself in Pinks garage again, sadly not alone this time, he still finds a way to tease you until suddenly it becomes too much. A desperation slowly killing you both.

word count: 2.8k

Masterlist

Part 1 ←→ Part 3

Ever since that night you had become a little more shameless when it came to the way you looked at Pink. If everyone wasn’t so oblivious they’d see the desire written all over your face, eyes cast over his form, lips trying to remember the taste of him. The bad part was it had proven difficult to find that kind of alone time with Pink again. If it wasn’t Slater it was Kevin, or Wooderson, probably Don, even Benny, and whoever else felt the need to get in your way. It was driving you nuts and you were desperate for a taste of him again. Anything at this point.

That’s why even though only a mere foot in front of you sits Pink with a hazy smile and eyes glued to your body, you can’t do a damn thing about it. It’s hard to keep your eyes from traveling down his chest and eyeing the bulge in his jeans. You’re in a tight circle in Pink’s garage, Kevin, Slater, and Michelle all coughing through the sheet of smoke. If only they knew what you had done to Pink a mere week ago in this very spot. You’re reminded of it every time Pink’s eyes catch your own and passes you the joint in his hand.

“Ooh I got one, I’ve never made my own G-station” Kevin states, leaning back in his chair as an arm wraps around Michelle. The group of you were trying to come up with things you hadn’t yet done when it came to weed before. With this group that was a hard thing to do.

“Well I’ve never greened out” Michelle says and the rest of you laugh, Slater’s turning into a heavy cough. Michelle had been greened out permanently since the 9th grade but none of you were daring enough to actually point that out.

“Okay, I tap out man. I don’t think there’s anything I haven’t done” Slater says after his cough dies, having tried to come up with something for the past hour. Unsurprisingly he had said yes to every thing you all had asked him. A weed connoisseur apparently.

“What about you doll?” Pink asks, motioning his hand as you pass back the joint, knee bumping his own from where you sit. The group circle a little too tight.

“Um I don’t know. I guess I’ve never shotgunned before” you shrug like it’s nothing, you hadn’t done as much when it came to weed but after the last year it had been easy to keep up. What you don’t expect is the shocked faces from everyone around you.

“You’ve never?” Pink asks, gulping lightly and you’re confused why there is a sudden shock. Why his gaze suddenly darkens even more when he looks at you.

“No. I mean I’ve always just taken the drag myself or was never presented the opportunity. What’s the big deal, I smoke with you guys all the time and you never do” you answer uneasily, feeling a bit put on the spot. What was the big deal anyway?

“I don’t know, just seems crazy to me that no one’s asked you before” Pink says with the shake of his head, hair falling on his forehead, the trim he got earlier this week saving it from falling in his eyes.

“Well what about you? Have you ever shotgunned before?” you ask with the cross of your arms, a little annoyed by how much they seemed to be judging you over something this silly.

“Yeah, a few times actually” and your shoulders fall, not having expected the answer and suddenly feeling a little embarrassed you haven’t. It didn’t help your stomach was now swirling with jealousy over how many people he had shotgunned with before.

“Oh, wow. Okay I guess it really is just me” your eyes can’t meet his now, a little ashamed and also afraid to show the jealousy that could possibly be painting your face.

“Do you want to try?” Pink asks after a moment, seeing all your friends watch the interaction with anticipation. Your eyes widen, surprise taking over as you look at him. He wears his soft Pink smile, no teasing or judging glare coming your way. It was just genuine him, happy to check this off your list.

“You sure?” you ask uneasily but he doesn’t even answer, instead closing those perfect lips around the end of the joint, drawing in a heavy drag as he maintains eye contact with you.

As of right now, nobody else in this room exists. You just sit there frozen and watch the handsome boy in front of you, the very one you’d been dying for a taste of all week. When he moves the joint out of the way his eyes lock on yours again, free hand grasping your chin and drawing a gasp from your lips. He moves you close, lips practically ghosting over yours, a near kiss and what you had been waiting for all week. Your whole body is buzzing as his eyes gaze down at your mouth, grip firm on your chin, and it reminds you of the hold he had on your waist not that long ago.

Eyes locked on each other, he slowly blows the smoke into your mouth, barely any seeping out the sides with his lips sealed against your own. Heat pools in the bottom of your stomach, knees pushing together, and you know Pink notices by the way he smirks against your mouth. When he’s finished you’re dizzy, from him or the weed, you’re not sure. What you do realize as you inhale the heavy cloud is that there are still people around you. Kevin is the first to clap his hands and you realize you gave your friends quite the show. Good thing they were probably too high to notice the need pulling at you both.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about” Slater says with a heavy nod, long hair bouncing against his shoulders as Pink passes along the joint. He wears a wide smirk, trying to pretend that he isn’t hiding a hard on underneath those tight jeans. If your need wasn’t desperate before, it definitely was now.

“Sure looks like something you’ve done before” Kevin points out but you’re still a little lost in the weed and the mere taste of Pink. Frozen in place and unsure of what to do with yourself.

“No that was definitely her first” Pink confirms and you don’t have the brain process to even question what that means. Instead you watch him wear that cocky smile and lean back into the couch, knees nudging against your own.

You’re sat there for nearly two hours before they all decide to leave. You’ve barely said anything since Pink’s lips had touched your own, barely managing a goodbye as each of your friends left. You only become aware when the garage door shuts and it’s finally just you two. Pink sits with a grin, legs man spread before you, just waiting to see what your next move could possibly be.

“That wasn’t fair” you tell him and he gives a curious glance, desperate for you just as much as you are for him.

“What wasn’t?” he asks as if him offering to shotgun with you wasn’t some evil scheme to get under your skin. You had been burning for him for so long and to tease you like that was torture.

“Shotgunning with me. I’ve been dying to kiss you all week you tease” and the admission brings the first genuine smile to Pink’s face.

“Why haven’t you then, you can kiss me whenever you like” he tells you and you roll your eyes because he knows that isn’t the case.

“And tell our friends what, that after years of friendship we finally discovered how much we like to fuck?” your words are blunt but Pink takes it with stride, not letting it phase him.

“First of all I don’t care what they think, second of all I care about you too much to just fuck. There’s real feelings here and I hate that I’m just noticing them now” the honesty makes you blush, unable to form a response, yet Pink doesn’t need one. Instead he reaches for you, lifting you from the chair and guiding you to straddle his lap. You follow the motions with ease until you’re settled right above him, hands digging into your waist. Your whole body feels on fire.

“I’ve had a thing for you since middle school” you admit in a quiet whisper, the blush deepening on your cheeks. Yet Pink is over the moon to hear this, a hand leaving your hip and sliding behind your neck.

“Does that mean you’ll finally kiss me now?” and you answer by leaning into his touch until your mouth is lined up against his. This was what you had wanted, what you had been aching for, so when he draws you in like a breath of fresh air you melt in his arms. His lips are soft but firm and desperate to get a taste of you. You have to hold his shoulders to balance yourself as he kisses you like his life depends on it. When you open your mouth his tongue tangles against your own, curling against it softly, and if you weren’t wet before you definitely were now.

His fingers slowly slid under the fabric of your shorts and your body feels like the lit embers inside the very joint he shotgunned you. He was the best drug you ever had and you were certain you could never get enough. So you kiss him deeper and harder, unable to stop the roll of your hips against his own. He’s evidently hard, desperate to be freed from those tight jeans, and you’d happily do it yourself just like last time. That’s why one of your hands leaves his shoulders and dips down between you, grasping his length through the fabric of his pants. He grunts into your mouth, member twitching against your palm, and you’re desperate to have him inside you.

“Sometimes this doesn’t feel real, I’ve fantasized about you for so long” you admit when his lips begin to trail down your neck. You’re certain he’s leaving his mark, teasing your skin and claiming you as his own. Yet this time the idea of getting to wear them proudly and label him as yours makes your heart soar in your chest.

“I haven’t been able to get you out of my head all week, everything I do I wish you’re with me” which is new for Pink. He was used to one night stands and no emotional attachment. Women were just an object he desired but you were his friend. One of his best friends to be exact. Someone who had rode shot gun in his car a hundred times and came over all the time to smoke weed. There was love already there, overshadowing his attraction. With a single taste you revealed something within him, a desire to have you in more ways than one.

“I’ll go anywhere with you Pink” you tell him, hands unbuttoning his shirt as your lips kiss anywhere you can. Forehead, eyelids, nose, ears, collar bone. You wanted to cover him with love and admiration, show him you were more than the girls who kissed him for fun at parties.

“Like a date, tomorrow night, 8 o’clock?” the question surprises you, having already guarded your heart from him. The same boy you’ve watched break dozens of hearts and collect them like trading cards. Yet the Pink before you, with a genuine look in his eyes, is different from the one you had known.

“Yeah, I’ll go on a date with you” you agree, a smile unable to run from your face, and he kisses you. Teeth knocking against your own since the smiles are to big. But this was real, you were both Seniors now, adults soon to be thrown into the real world.

“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me” Pink admits against your mouth, talking like he wants you to swallow the words and feel them in your stomach. Carry the weight of how real this all was.

“Same, now please let me ride you” your sultry voice whispers against his skin and the way his dick jumps beneath you has you lifting from his lap and popping the button of your shorts. Pink watches as he does the same, shimmying the jeans off his waist and around his ankles. When you’re unclothed from the waist down you return to place above him, grinning mischievously. His tip barely grazes your core, already covered in slick. You have been wet for him practically since you got here.

“I’m going to hate myself forever for not noticing you sooner” he mutters when your hand closes around his now bare cock, grunting softly and trying not to finish already. You smile, running him through your folds before slowly pressing him inside.

“At least you have me now” is the last thing you whisper before sinking down onto him. His hands instantly jump to your waist, guiding you down him slowly until you’re fully sat in his lap. At first you don’t move, relishing in the feeling of him inside you. As if struck by lightning you both begin to remove the rest of each other’s clothes. Your hands shoving the shirt off his shoulders as his begin to tug yours up your form. His stomach jumps when he sees you’d forgone a bra. He had a feeling you did but he wasn’t sure. Now with your breasts directly in front of his face, he’s unable to stop his lips from closing around one of your nipples.

The sensation is what brings you to lift slightly and slide back down him. He alternates between each breast until you can’t take it anymore, pulling him back to kiss his lips before bouncing up and down his length. He tries to steady you, hips meeting your own, but you’re to addicted to the way it feels when he touches that certain spot. Both meeting each other in the middle and drunk with the way this feels. To be so attracted and carry so much love for the person. It was a new feeling for you both, one you never wanted to let go off.

“You’re perfect” Pink moans and the words make you clench around him, a chain effect that puts a stutter to the rhythm in his hips. You’re both close, bodies like jello as you both try to reach each other’s release.

“You are too” you tell him when his fingers meet your clit. He teases your bundle of nerves quickly, trying to stay steady as he pumps into you. Your moves are getting sloppy but when he kisses your shoulder gently you’re coming undone above him. Drooping against him with pleasure and exhaustion. The way your orgasm clenches around him has him lifting you off of him and back against the couch. Blissed out you watch as he pumps himself gently in his hand before finishing on your stomach, a grin crossing your face.

“We’ve made quite the mess” you chuckle as he lies beside you, reaching for a stray t-shirt of his. Slowly he wipes you clean, pressing sweet kisses along your chest and shoulder.

“Was worth it though, thought I was going crazy without you this entire week” he says and you giggle as he throws his now dirtier shirt towards the door to bring inside to clean. He snuggles against you, content with staying here all night.

“Maybe after our date you can come over, be with each other somewhere other than this damn garage couch” you say, a spring digging into your back and one of the cushions stained with beer. Yet it didn’t matter because any moment with him was special, even on this ugly couch.

“I’d like that, I like you” he says and you giggle, his words so simple and childish. Yet they mean so much, he means so much.

“Yeah well I like you too, probably more than I should” and that earns you another sweet and deep kiss. You smile and hug him close, content with staying here all night, as long as you were with him.

“Who do you think will freak out the most when they find out we’re together?” His question makes you smile, a way of confirming it was only you he wanted. A label he was offering that he never agreed to with anyone before. So you mull it over, thinking of each of your friends before looking over at him.

“Don for sure” the answer has you both falling into a fit of giggles, already imaging the beef head guy confused more than anyone. A start of a relationship with none of the awkwardness.

Two people simply always meant to be.

[mysteriouslyjovialcolor]

Qatar 2024

-YESSSS!

-Safety Car?? Franco?? Oh god, Williams

-“George Russel gets away well… second phase: here comes Max Verstappen”

-“Sergio Perez gets away well” Oh how we love to hear it

-Oh god Kevin- Shit that was Nico; that tire gamble didn’t pay off

-“Got hit by Stroll. I know he would do it. I could tell” Yeah the Williams is so cursed

-How is Lewis p9?

-Yuki p10! (I don’t remember where he placed in qualifying)

-Oh god another safety car? Who was that? Yuki?? Oh Liam

-“Speed on the straight is worrying” :(

-I love that there seems to be a fire lit under the Red Bull but can Max chill for a second? That car might still give up half way

-Woah Kevin! (That Haas/Vcarb/Alpine battle is so fun to follow)

-Max please, think about the tireeess

-“blistering pace” If they jinx him istg

-“Tsunoda-San” Love Jenson and Yuki’s relationship

-“The Frenchman has got his man”

-“It’s surprising how difficult the top 8 is finding it to overtake when the rest of the field seem to be doing it just fine”

-Yo? Zhou?! Omg!

-Max and Lando battling for fastest lap

-“How slow are we compared to others?” Hate that Merc so much

-No way both Saubers just over took Yuki. What’s wrong with his car?

-“The threat from the undercut disappears as each revolution of the tires go by” Idk why that sounded so poetic

-Okay Mercedes, starting off the pit stops

-Oh- that wasn’t very good

-“Is the car broken?” Back to back L’s

-Magnussen, Gasly, Alonso, threatening everyone’s pit stops

-Jenson’s voice is so soothing

-Okay halfway through

-“Speak louder please”

-…

Did Alex lose a mirror?

-“Max has got his wing mirrors” Vengeful, petty Max is my favorite (obviously it’s aimed at the FIA, don’t draw other conclusions)

-That yellow flag was so clear. Why didn’t he lift? Was there a problem?

-What the actual hell! There’s a whole mirror on track! Why is no one doing anything?? Are we waiting for someone to go over it and cause more damage???

-Ohmygodd! They are! They were fricking waiting!

-Now??? Now??? Now you want to call a Safety Car???

-Can’t even enjoy the pit stop games with this bs

-This is such incompetence. The hell is wrong with them?

-I need Zhou to get a point. I really do

-Safety car restarts make so nervous

-NO CHECO!!

-Nico too??

-I wanna cry

-Didn’t get to appreciate Max vs Lando in all that chaos; that was very cool

-Plus Charles! On Oscar!

-Charles, Charles, Charles, Charles, come on mate

-All of the cars are so close now

-“Albon just rammed me”

-Oh shit a 10s penalty

-“That seems unbelievably extreme” Why are we surprised about this? It’s the FIA

-Oh shit that’s- oh god

-Lewis penalty too?

-Zhou!!!!!

-Lewis retiring?

-Are they really saying he won’t race in Abu Dhabi?

-Can Bottas overtake Albon so that Sauber can celebrate like crazy??

-“F***k off” “Go for it Kev” Hahaha

-Cheering so hard for Sauber right now

-Okay I knew that wouldn’t last long but Zhou! Zhou! Zhou!

-“Denied pole but not denied victory!” Wohooo

-“Karma is a wonderful thing. Yes! We did not drive unnecessarily slowly today!” Tell them GP!

-Max, Charles, Oscar podium!! Let’s go, Let’s go, Let’s go!!!

(Also congratulations to Alex Albon for finally finishing a race)

[shallowseeker]

Recruiting Dean

Via the Nightmare-land of all his current anxieties.

Zach I - Zach II - Zach III - Say it ain't so - Cas can DIE?! - Bobby, demoralized - Dean and Cas's mutual, pissy fatalism - Love blooming, personal space - You're not much fun, so why am I laughing so hard? - Dean's anixety at being a vessel - Sam: Everybody please panic, I'm a vessel, too!

Disclaimer: I love ALL The End meta, from the ones that look for hidden meanings and the ones where Chuck is hiding incognito in his first-row seats, but I thought this would be a Hella a fun way to ask this question.

///

What if The End is all about Dean and Zach? What is almost everyone IN IT is Zach, tapping into and mocking Dean's churning ruminations and anxieties?

What would that analysis look like? What might we predict? We know that Zach recruited a Jehovah's Witness, and after Dean's call with Sam, Zach entered the motel to try yet another sales pitch.

Zach got into Dean's bedroom. But maybe this time, Zach's going deeper. Perhaps he got into Dean's dreams, too.

In the previous Zach adventures, he tried to give Dean a vision of a loser's life, one Dean wouldn't be able to stand: a corporate yes-man who listened to NPR and steamed his latte like a wuss. Remember his pitch in It's a Terrible Life?

ZACHARIAH: Save people, maybe even the world. All the while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So for God's sakes, Dean, quit whining about it. Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You wanna go steam yourself another latte? Or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?

But just like he will later miss the mark on Adam's personality a bit, he misses on Dean at first, too. Dean cares about family.

"My father's name is Bob, my mother's name is Ellen, and my sister's name is Jo." // "Are you saying my family isn't real?"

///

We'll hear Zach make more pitches to Dean in the beautiful room in Lucifer Rising. Time-honored things that, from his experience, tend to work when recruiting humans, from happy memories to food to TV fantasy to food to sexual adoration:

ZACHARIAH: Try a burger. They're your favorite. From that seaside shack in Delaware. You were 11, I think. DEAN: I'm not hungry. ZACHARIAH: No? How about Ginger from season 2 of "Gilligan's Island"? You do have a thing for her, don't you? DEAN: Tempting. Weird. ZACHARIAH: We'll throw in Mary Ann for free. DEAN: No, no. Let's... bail on the holodeck, okay? I want to know what the game plan is.

///

ZACHARIAH (to a crying Dean): And when it's over... and when you've won... your rewards will be... unimaginable. Peace, happiness... two virgins and seventy sluts.

///

We'll get a whiff of AU Zachariah's tactics with a nervous, broken Kevin Tran in s13, too:

Meredith Glynn had intended a more... grayscale view of Zach's intentions via @spnscripthunt-inactive, but either way is very good. Very Zach:

Anyhoo, more on the Jack-Zach interactions later. For now, I'm just thinking about the whiff of Zach's and upper Heaven management's style of recruiting tactics through Kevin's words:

LUCIFER: Kevin, what are you doing, getting mixed up with Michael? ... KEVIN: ...Michael's taking me with him to paradise world so I can meet hot women. LUCIFER: I'm sorry. What?

Jack, who had also been tortured (stabbed, burned, drowned) by Zachariah, tried to reach out to Kevin. Mary even more so:

KEVIN: Y-you don't understand... then the end of the world happened, and everyone around me-- my friends, and my… my mom-- they all started to die. ... KEVIN: No! Michael says… that when I get to Heaven-- when he lets me into Heaven-- I'll get to see my mom again. I don't care! You don't understand. I… You don't know the things that I've done. I just want this to be over.

Now, we see the truth. Kevin was never interested in the recruitment line, something-something hot women. Not really. That was just a boisterous shield to hide the deeper pain.

He just wanted to see his mom again.

///

So. When we reach 5x04, we see Zach adjust fire with Dean.

In 5x01, he tried a different, more forceful way of recruiting Dean, making him feel terrible about himself.

...I feel like looking at The End as a nightmare land of all of Dean's anxieties is a really fun way to revisit it.

But before that, if we consider this question, what might we predict for Zach to uncover, based on all the stuff Dean is feeling Weird (TM) and Stressed (TM) about right now?

Based on all the other stuff we've been thinking about, I'll make a small list of potentials, starting with the Bobby-Dean confrontation at the end of last season...

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Good morning Aerie!!! Can I please request vampdrew this week?

WIP Wednesday (9/4) | Vampire Andrew AU (Part 174)

"What the hell is going on?" Wilds asks, grabbing her boyfriend by the arm and pulling him back a step. Wise woman. "We just got back and you're already trying to kill each other?!"

"We never left, of course we're trying to kill each other," Aaron says, taking the words out of Andrew's mouth.

"Not funny, Minyard."

"Here I was going for honesty." Aaron shrugs, earning a laugh from Nicky. Andrew doesn't turn around to look at where Kevin is still sprawled on the ground. But he can picture the expression on his face. He knows he isn't amused.

"What happened, Kevin?" Dan demands. "Neil?"

After a cough, Neil croaks out, "We just had a disagreement."

"Making fun of my smashed hand is not a fucking disagreement." Kevin whispers, finally making Andrew turn around. He looks up at Andrew, eyes wide and vulnerable. Neil crossed a line. He will not cross it again.

"What? He made fun of your hand?" Renee speaks up, giving Neil a look. Neil curls in on himself further. Andrew uses every bit of willpower he has to stuff his fangs up into his gums and clears his throat so his voice doesn't come out thick as venom. 

"That's right. Neil hurt Kevin's feelings, so Kevin hurt Neil's... everything. But don't you worry. We're already made up. In fact, we're driving Neil to practice later. Clean slate and all that." Andrew says with the most polite smile he can muster. It feels wrong on his face.

"That okay with you, Neil?" Boyd asks. Oh, apparently he's already adopted this poor lost duckling. How stupid of him.

Still on the ground, Neil swallows so hard Andrew can here it. Then looks between Andrew and Kevin. Andrew catches his gaze and holds it with his own. Andrew nods subtly and Neil copies him. "I. Yeah. Your truck'll be full anyway. This just makes sense."

"Now apologize to Kevin and we can all forget this ever happened." Andrew tells him.

"I'm sorry, Kevin." Neil says almost instantly. As far as Andrew can tell, based on his heartbeat and his body language, it's sincere. "I shouldn't have said that. You just... piss me off a lot."

At that, Matt laughs and the rest of the hall seems to follow suit.

"Kevin's real good at that," Nicky says, earning a glare from Kevin. Then he waves at Neil. "See you later."

"Later." Neil repeats as he gets up. Once Boyd pulls him into the girls' dorm, Andrew spins around and holds out his hand to Kevin. His control dies at the marks on the back of Kevin's wrist and his fangs slip back out.

"Are you finished wasting blood?" He asks. Kevin nods and takes his hand, letting Andrew pull him up. Andrew looks at Nicky and Aaron before tilting his head towards the dorm. The two of them look ready to protest, but Andrew points. "Go. I need to talk to Kevin for a second."

"'Talk to' or cannibalize in a hideous display of violence?" Nicky asks with a nervous smile.

"I haven't decided yet. Go on." Andrew tells them.

"Good luck, Kevin." Aaron says, shoving Nicky into the dorm. Once it clicks closed, Andrew turns Kevin's hand over and checks that thick white scar on the back. It looks the same as always, not further damaged by his temper tantrum.

[ninyard]

🦮 the be with me one please????? I need to suffer and imagine a timeline where jean did leave with Kevin and no throat was sliced on the way out

Jean couldn’t look.

It was terrible - as Kevin cried, and pleaded for help, this was finally the injury that convinced him to look away. The churning of his stomach and the retch that threatened to leave his throat was involuntary at the sight of blood and bone and was it just skin that protruded out of the incoherent mess of a wound, or was it muscle? The way Kevin’s fingers bent unnaturally as his hand lay on the tile floor, limp and lifeless, left Jean feeling guilty that he didn’t immediately bend down to his aid when Riko had finally left the room.

“Jean,” Kevin forced his eyes back his direction with pleading, weak French. “Hurry.”

Jean sealed his lips together tight like a vice as he took in what he was looking at. He could still hear Riko’s yelling and Kevin’s cries ringing in his ears like it were playing like music in his ears. The angry Japanese, the begging English, the desperate French. Pushing down his discomfort, Jean knelt down at Kevin’s level, took the t-shirt from his own back to stop the blood, but paused inches away from the wound.

“You have to go to the hospital,” Jean said, like it wasn’t obvious, like it was an option. “I can’t save your hand with a t-shirt.”

Kevin gritted his teeth and used his other hand to force contact between the fabric and the bleeding. The cry he let out was a disgusting sound of anguish, and pain he had not felt before.

“We have to leave.”

Jean had to look away to gag as he lifted up his hand to wrap the already wet fabric around it. Partly because of how nauseous he felt seeing Kevin’s playing hand destroyed and unsalvageable, partly because of the guttural yells that Kevin let out as he worked.

“I’ll drive you,” Jean offered, knowing he would be beaten for it on his return. Kevin’s deep breaths blew a mixture of snot and saliva onto the floor. “But you will lose this hand if you don’t get help.”

“Take me to David,” He spat. “Get me out of here.”

Jean didn’t know what to say as Kevin made a failed attempt to push himself up off the floor. All he could do was stare at him and hope that he’d heard him wrong.

“Are you crazy?” He hissed in English, hoping it was a mistranslation on Kevin’s part.

It took Kevin far too long to get to his feet, only stopping once to retch so hard the noise that came out of his mouth was more like a scream. Horrid sounds echoed against the walls of the locker room, sounds of pain he’d never heard from Kevin. Riko had beaten those sounds out of him years ago; Kevin learned to be quiet far earlier than Jean did. Now, under no watchful eye of the king, he couldn’t help the groans and whimpers as he cradled his hand. Jean watched as he blinked the dizziness out of his eyes, and looked around to find something else to wrap his hand in.

“I can’t stay,” Jean caught him when he took a shaky step forwards and nearly stumbled, thrown off balance as he moved. “Take me, or I drive myself,” he only paused for a moment before adding, “Please. I’ll keep you safe.”

“With one fucking hand and what army?” Jean didn’t mean to say it so full of rage and vitriol, but perhaps it was Kevin’s delusion that angered him. For he thought it was so simple; a matter of safety and leaving, and not that they would last no longer than a week away from the nest without being brought back kicking and screaming.

“Fine,” Kevin looked him deep in the eyes, so sincerely that Jean was sure he could read his soul and feel the fear that bubbled in his stomach. “Stay here. But he’ll kill you when he finds out I’m gone.”

“Is that supposed to be a threat?” Jean laughed in his face, and Kevin’s eyebrows screwed up, half in pain, half in desperation. “You are not leaving.”

“So come with me, then.” Kevin begged, his words in French again, knowing exactly what he was doing to Jean by pleading in his native tongue. “Please. I’ll take my car.”

“You’re planning on driving like that? Are you suicidal?”

Kevin stood up as straight as he could, and Jean saw that look of desperation beneath the layers of sweat and blood splashed across his cheeks.

“I’d sooner kill myself on my own terms than by whatever the consequences for this will be.” He used the collar of his T-shirt to wipe his face. Even on the black fabric, wet crimson stood out, shiny in the dim light. He started to say something, perhaps something profound and convincing, but instead all that came out of his mouth was a dazed mumble that sounded like, “You know you won’t survive it if you stay.”

“And so I deserve to die for the sake of your freedom?” Jean stood in his way, and Kevin didn’t have the energy to move him. “You’ll be slitting my throat before the door even closes behind you.”

“You deserve to live,” Kevin said. “You have one chance, Jean. Fucking take it.”

“How can you do this to me?” He wanted to hit and punch and scream at Kevin for being so stupid; even with his blood dripping onto the tiles below. But in a few minutes he would go into shock, or Riko would be back, or all these fighting words that blurred his senses would be lost by the crushing weight of what he was actually suggesting. “How can you even… do you really believe yourself, Kevin? There is no answer waiting for you outside of those gates. And what will David do, hmm? Tuck his son into bed and kiss what’s left of his hand goodnight? You will not live happily ever after in South Carolina.”

He didn’t answer. Jean’s words were steeped in truth, and he knew that.

“There’s a sweater in my locker,” Kevin whispered, and nodded towards Jean’s bare chest with a heavy-hooded blink. “I can’t stay here.”

“And what about me? My family?”

“We can figure it out when we get there.”

“Will you play for them?” Jean asked, like an answer would be admitting defeat, like he would regard Kevin as nothing more than worthless trash if he nodded a yes. How far he will have fallen, only to never be capable of reaching the top again. That was the reality of going to Palmetto State, but that didn’t seem to bother Kevin at all.

Kevin looked at him and sighed, his pained expression as convincing as any words that could’ve left his lips.

“Seven minutes,” he said, and Jean almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of it all. “I’ll wait in my car for seven minutes, and then I’ll leave with or without you.”

“You’re being selfish.”

“Either you come or you don’t.” He continued. “This is your out. I need you.”

Jean let him struggle towards the door before scoffing as he reached for the handle.

“The King will not be happy without his court,” He said, and Kevin didn’t turn around. “He won’t let us both go quietly.”

Kevin winced as he tightened the fabric around his hand, took a deep breath with his head resting against the door frame, before pulling it open. It slammed behind him with a harrowing thud. The panic set it quickly, then. This was happening, this couldn’t be happening, how can I stop this from happening? Then like a vision he saw it; Riko returning to the scene of his crime to find Jean alone. Jean could feel his skull cracked on tile, his bones shattered like he’d done to Kevin. He was running out of time. Be killed by Riko’s hand now, or by the families hand later, for his disobedience, for his disappearance. For aiding and abetting the escape of their most loved, their most precious. Jean would be surprised if either of them would actually make it to the gates.

Jean had to make a decision.

It wasn’t until he’d put his foot down on the highway that he realised what a mistake they were making, the smell of blood and sweat thick in the air of the car. On their way to certain death, Jean thought, as Kevin flickered between consciousness and sleep in the seat beside him.

[mememanufactorum]

Badger’s Best of 2023 sentence starters

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED

All lines are from this video created by TheRussianBadger.

"I ACTUALLY EARNED ONE, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"Those noises that were coming out of you were inhuman."

"You ever had a hotdog burger before?"

"You did NOT just come up with that word."

"I need to know if this was a riff or if this was an actual meal."

"I heard the word 'hotdurger' unprovoked."

"Dudes with nut allergies when I hit them in the head with a brick."

"YOU DIDN'T JUJU ON THE FUCKIN' BEAT."

"I don't misinform. I just lie."

"Did you just punch someone for all their coins?"

"I don't know, just blow 'em all up, I don't care."

"I just fucken hate you."

"STOP BLINDING ME, YOU ASSHOLE! I CAN'T SEE, YOU GOBLIN!"

"To the charge of wire fraud, you are pleading 'nuh-uh'?"

"Your honor, shut the fuck up. You wasn't even there."

"This conversation sounds like four raccoons with internet access."

"You wanna know how I got these GAINS?"

"I was driving through upstate New York and I saw a Tesla with the license plate 'I'M HIM'."

"That license plate made me laugh so hard that I walked up to his window and put a 12-gauge slug in his chest."

"You got me fucked up bro, I can't believe you would question if I'm real."

"Here's a picture of my nuts."

"Those are gonna be my dying words to my wife: I just want you to know… PS3 has no games."

"Chimichangas are a CIA psyop."

"If you put me in the cockpit of an apache I will Kevin Gates, put my hand on the dashboard, and start it."

"Boy I love having something with none of the same consistency as anything else in my sandwich in my sandwich."

"Dude I definitely love biting into my sandwich and then leaving with an entire pickle slice in my mouth."

"Own a musket for home defense since that's what the founding fathers intended."

"I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grapeshot. Tally ho, lads!"

"Well it's just straight up racism, and it's not even like an occasional racism, it's like, this is full blast firehose racism."

"It's the floodgate of racism! The Big Gulp of racism!"

"This shit will turn your pacemaker off."

"I point blanked that shit with a panzerfaust."

"Me going to Arby's after losing a $50,000 Marvel vs Capcom tournament."

"Me walking to the fridge to get my five day old caesar salad."

"Fresh caesar salad, already not a good start. Five days, dog."

"How does that predator missile work? Oh, you just go NYOOOOOOM."

"This Nyquil beatin' my ass, that is not THAT funny but, like, I can't stop laughing!"

"Y'all just verbally buzzered that man."

"I stole your girl, I stole your whip, I stole your shoes."

"You cannot land a KC-135 in a Kroger parking lot."

"As someone who lives in Tennessee, you can land a KC-135 in a Kroger parking lot."

"That's how I'm going to describe the size of our parking lots to Europeans without internet connections. We can land that in our parking lots."

"I call that my main menu tax."

"Bro, I can't hail a cab in Detroit for shit, bro."

"First bullet, Toyota Tacoma be like 'I ain't hear NOTHING. Y'all hear something?' Second bullet? Legalize nuclear bombs."

"Your voice literally has to wait in line to be heard."

"I'm gonna bomb your trailer park."

"Don't take advice from the dead guys."

"Smoking on that diabolical arch-necromancer pack. Those who don't ball would do well to steer clear."

"Do you know the word 'whermst'?"

"It's like where and for what purpose and why. Location, reason, background context in one word: Whermst."

"Did he just prefire me? Bro, go to jail."

"That's your first option for recourse?"

"Alcatraz, we ain't talking county jail. You're getting in there with the dementors."

"Stop calling the 3D avatar mommy."

"How do they fit this many flares in an airplane? It makes no sense. It's like a clown car but for fireworks."

"I'M SCREAMING ABOUT IT MOTHERFUCKER, STOP!"

"Hey what's up guys? I just bought a 1911 at a Red Lobster parking lot, AMA."

"Just kill me. Just take me to heaven. Just… Take me out of this reality."

"Heaven? BITCH, YOU GOING TO HELL!"

"Hey, fuckin' imagine getting friendly fired by a .50 BMG. Imagine."

"My client pleads oopsie-daisy."

"I'm sorry that your dog is not going to college now."

"Ay you ain't on your grind, son. You ain't on your bag."

"No one's Batman impression is bad."

"You sound like you're in an alley with a trench coat, what the fuck?"

"Oh my God, his Scooby-Doo villain is coming out again."

"Are you repairing our conversation?"

"Why is 'slime' such a funny yet affectionate nickname?"

"Get the fuck out of our shower."

"Why can't we just share the shower?"

"Enemy. Man. 300 meters. North. Fast. Fast. Fast."

"Fun fact: The TSA allows you to bring a live lobster through security."

"I myself have brought 432 lobsters through security."

"THAT'S THE FOURTH TIME YOU'VE SHOT ME!"

"SHUT UP! YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE WHERE MY BULLETS ARE!"

"All units, be advised: My stummy hurt."

"Homie got the dog in him with that one."

"Pulled pork? Yeah I cranked my hog today too."

"How blessed are we that I can just log on to YouTube and the first video I see is 'Master Chief teaches you how to change the oil on your 2006 Nissan Murano'?"

"That went from 'funny' to 'demonitized'."

"If your state has 90 degree corners, you probably eat corn syrup on your pancakes."

"Why do you always say 'theoretically' and it's not at all theoretical?"

"You have the world's WORST EVERYTHING."

"My boy got the object permanence of a frog."

"That boy cooked the most rare steak."

"I gotta use the bathroom or something, bro. I gotta go to college or something. I can't be with these motherfuckers."

"He went behind the tree and my brain was like 'WHERE'D HE GO?'"

"Somebody buy me a stat reset, PLEASE!"

"You should not be legally allowed to commit crimes if you're listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd."

"I'm on my Super Mario Sunshine shit."

"Are you barking at me?"

"You might wanna be a LITTLE shidded right now."

"I'd trust Gengar with my kid."

"I didn't know he was chill like that."

"No. We are not putting a controller around somebody's neck and twisting it. It's a wireless controller, you can't even do that."

"And 45 is just a caliber."

"Ranch was made by California to keep the Midwest fat because they're scared of our power."

"I refuse to believe that Kranch is real."

"Alignment charts are for the governable. I grow corn in my yard."

"Tell me the name of God you fungal piece of shit."

"I'm pretty sure that was the most sacrilegious shit I've heard in my life."

"I will pass that to the higher ups – parentheses: I do not give a shit."

"This is getting a little too fast for my brain."

"You fuckers are at a pie eating contest and I'm just like, nah son. Free pie."

"I'm about to hit 'em with the Glock-no-jutsu, on God, bro."

"Regretting a free purchase is crazy."

"THEY'RE JUST POLYGONS!"

"I've had people call me things that I wouldn't even dare say to myself."

"Take five 5-Hour Energies and enter the forbidden hour of the day."

"Those responses do not surprise me at all. I definitely expected that kind of language."

"Bro, it's goof-a-clock right now."

"The moon already isn't real."

"You think I can't kill a fuckin' banana?"

"That was a little too much rage for a potassium transportation device. I didn't mean it. You full of electrolytes."

"I'm gonna eat pizza because I like the sauce on the pizza with the cheese on the pizza."

"I could not have killed him any harder."

"Don't make me make you say some out of pocket shit."

"I've been saying out of pocket shit all day."

"By sheer artillery alone, we should have tunneled our way to Atlantis by now."

"Yo, I don't know the Tom & Jerry lore, fuck you!"

"What if you wanted to go to heaven but God said to you, 'WE'RE GONNA TRY THIS WEEK'S CRUMBL COOKIE MENU'?"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TINNITUS, WHAT?"

"Is this like punching someone in the dark? Is it like a legal loophole?"

"There's only one of me in all the world. I am one in a krillion."

"If you're a chest sleeper, you're just a fuckin' psychopath, alright?"

[prpfz]

🌈 Hiiii! It's me, trying to get back into the saddle.

Basic information: I'm 26, he/it, you can call me Tem, which is short for Temeluchus. I want my future RP partner to be 18+, dead dove friendly, willing to get into horror and dubcon, also able to keep in touch via Tumblr and Discord (I have problems with Discord access in my country).

I have about three more-or-less popular fandoms I want to play certain ship(s) in, and some fandoms on the rare side, where I'm pretty much down for anything.

Gravity Falls — BillFord (Bill Cipher/Ford Pines)

I'd like to play Ford in a scenario where he gets captured and delivered to Bill during the thirty years in the portal, preferably closer to the completion of the quantum destabiliser. Dubcon, mindbreak and a buffet of terrible things.

Marvel — Thorki (Thor/Loki), Frostmaster (Loki/Grandmaster)

I'll only play Loki in the first one and anyone in the second one. There are less fixed plots here, so I'll just give you one of my ideas and would be willing to accept/hear out yours.

For Thorki, I'd prefer them both old, tired and bitter. Limited comic Loki from 2004 is a good jumping-off point.

As for Frostmaster, I'd like to play the time on Sakaar where Loki worms his way into Grandmaster's good graces.

Welcome to Night Vale — Cecilos (Cecil/Carlos) and Cecil/Kevin.

I want to do Cecil in the first one and can do either of them in the second one.

Here I'd like to relisten/catch up on canon together. Also, go for the general vibe more than for exact canon events, since... a lot of stuff happened in WTNV, and it is incredibly hard to keep all of it in mind.

I'd also prefer to plot together.

Fandoms where I'm down to do almost anything: The Blood Drive and Dead End: Paranormal Park.

Size and speed — one post a day, understandable if you can't do it every day, starting with one paragraph. Will be happy to write more and more often if we click.

Please, DM me on @temeluchus-obsessed, like the ad or interact with it.

@temeluchus-obsessed

[kariachi]

Oh look, some House Arrest fic! With things like emotions.

A bit of Mike lore drops in the Levin-&-Morningstar household.

~~

“Oh come on, that’s a foul!”

There was a clatter as Ben and Kevin jumped in their seats, spinning to check over the back of the sofa. Mike seemed to not even notice, eyes locked on the television from the doorway. The pair looked at each other, then back at him, to the tv, then to him, as he muttered about the refs being blind.

“You like hockey,” Ben asked like it was the least believable thing on the planet, when really it topped out at number four.

“My cousin plays,” came the response, focus still on the game. “We would-” You could almost hear the click of teeth as he cut himself off, pulling his eyes away and schooling his expression. “I used to keep up.”

Ben and Kevin shared a look, curious, concerned, and tired all combined. With a small sigh, Ben scooted to the side so Kevin could sit in the center of the couch, flashing a grin and waving Mike over.

“Well, sit down then! I could use somebody to help me cheer the Islanders!”

“Oh please,” Ben snorted, as the blond tentatively slipped into the room, “they don’t stand a chance-”

~~

“So, a hockey playing cousin?” Mike tensed, work on his fourth meal of the day slowing. A quick look out the corner of his eye brought Kevin into view, leaning against the kitchen doorway.

“Mm-hm.” He didn’t look up from the counter, keeping his focus on the vegetables he was attempting to dice.

“Take it you two were close?”

“Where would you get that idea?” Kevin snorted, a smile spreading across his face.

“Ben asked if you liked hockey and your answer was that your cuz played it, not a hard leap to make.”

The kitchen lapsed into quiet, nothing but the sounds of Mike’s awkward attempts at cooking for several long minutes. It wasn’t comfortable, it would take more than the months since Charmcaster’d been stopped to make that happen, but it was familiar. The quiet of two people trying to live together, find where the lines and hatred were.

“As close as we could, with the amount of time we spent together,” Mike finally said. He gave a small chuckle, a smile. “She’s the one who taught me how to throw a punch.” Snorting, Kevin flashed a grin.

“Oh, so she’s who I should blame.”

“According to her there’s no point in having enhanced strength if I just break my hand whenever I punch someone.” Setting down the knife, he raised one up, watching it as he opened its mouth wide. “Helped me figure out how to place my fingers too, so I wouldn’t drive them into my teeth.”

“Figured you just could keep those mouths shut enough not to bite yourself,” Kevin said, slipping into the kitchen.

“Then I’d just knock my teeth loose,” Mike laughed, one of the few honest ones he’d given in the months passed. “Can’t hit as hard as I could without them-”

“That’s terrifying.”

“-but she was deadset Teddy and I know how to fight, just in case.” He loosed a breath that was just a little off, smile shrinking. His mouth shut, hand shut, for a moment before he went back to chopping.

The room was quiet again.

Kevin broke the silence this time.

“You still talk?”

“...no.”

“Wanna say why, or should I just go to bed?”

Silence. Just the sound of vegetables being chopped, going into what looked to be some sort of casserole. Kevin tapped his foot. Stepped back.

“Last time we talked was before I went to prison.” Face twisting in a cringe, Kevin settled back in place. “She didn’t know about…” Mike waved his hand vaguely, knife still grasped firmly. “I prefer living in a reality where she never does.” The cringe turned into a frown; concern etched into Kevin’s face.

“You sure? I’m not exactly drowning in close relatives but…” Mike heaved a sigh that shut him up. Took a deep breath and turned a look so honest Kevin had to take one as well on him.

“She was the last one to care,” he said, “I refuse to know that I ruined that.”

They stood like that for what might have been an eternity but was probably only seconds, face to face, honest and concerned. Kevin released his breath, clapped a hand on Mike’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna go grab you one of those stupid ice cream cakes you like, be back in like half an hour.”

[fizhingtrawl]

Hiii im here to be evil

For your au where bob kills kevin

Jaune waited in the car for the two officers to finish with Lila. After tonight she was hoping they’d help her find Ross and then drop her off at Candy Club to check on Kevin.

She was really worried for them after everything that happened with that maniac. The two seemed to finish as Lila walked into the house and shut the door behind her. As the two walked back toward the car the one with black hair, Jack she thinks pauses. The other, John, stops as well as Jack pulls his radio off his vest.

The two seem to listen, occasionally answering whoever was on the other side. They halted once more and looked at her. They stared for a while before talking into the radio again, and then glancing at her once more. He put the radio back on his vest as they exchanged a look with each other that Jaune wasn’t sure she liked.

Jaune swallowed as her picked up its pace when the two entered the vehicle. They buckled in, but didn’t move or start driving at all.

“C-can we find my son? I-I’mworried now. H-his name is Roos and he’s 15 with black hair, dressed in a gray coat and matching top hat. A-and then can you drop me off at Candy Club? I want to make sure my other son is okay too.”

Jack flinched hard. Her heart was beating faster.

“Your other son, he works at Candy Club?”

Jaune faced John. “Y-yes.”

“Is his name Kevin?”

Her heart was practically hammering out of her chest now.

“…what happened?”

“I’m sorry ma’am. We just received a call that your son was found deceased at the candy store.”

“No, nonononono. NO NO NOOO! YOU’RE LYING YOU HAVE TO BE!”

Jack placed a hand on her shoulder and she smacked it off.

“Please no, not my baby!”

Jaune wasn’t aware of much after that, she vaguely remembers being taken to the station where they contacted her husband.

So she didn’t have to be alone when she had to confirm it was her son’s body. She also remembers the two officers leaving again to go find Ross.

How was she going to tell him?

Her husband had her in a tight hug as she just sobbed and wailed into his chest.

This wasn’t fair.

OH MY GOD. THANK YOU. THIS IS BRILLIANT YOURE SO FUCKING EVIL/POS

[nichimgriff]

Hi Wüv 🤗, where I am from we have this tradition of putting our shoes out on the evening of the 5th of december, and in the morning of the 6th of december they are filled with little presents by the Nikolaus (like candy and stuff). I wanted to bring this tradition to my tumblr friends 🖤 and so I come to your ask box bringing a 🥾. In there are 4 little presents for you...

1) a pair of cozy socks 🧦

2) your favorite candy 🍪 🍫 🍬 🍭

3) your favorite hot drink ☕️

4) all the love I can fit in a 🥾! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🩶🩷

And there is also a note with a question: If you want to, please share a happy memory you have of 2023?

I hope wherever you celebrate anything this month or not, you have a wonderful last month of the year! 🖤

- 🦋 wearing a santa hat

aaaw, this is so cute, thank you!

I actually have so many happy memories, hard to decide on just one xD

let's do top five in no particular order:

1 hugging @bucksleia for the first time and driving through half of Germany with her ❤️

2 meeting the boys (ec) multiple times

3 without going into too much detail, midnight when it turned to my birthday, Julia made me cry so hard of happiness 🥹

4 escalation fest and hugging @stargleekkid and so many more from my chosen family 🩷💙💛💜❤️

5 finally getting into Dans and Davids insta dms felt great?! Kevin felt even better, but that was last year xD

[f1]

Why Mercedes didnt seek a penalty for Verstappens revenge foul on Hamilton | 2023 Austrian Grand Prix

Mercedes believe Max Verstappen deliberately spoiled Lewis Hamilton’s final lap in qualifying yesterday but didn’t think it was worth seeking a penalty for the Red Bull driver. However Kevin Magnussen did object to Verstappen holding him up during qualifying on Friday, despite admitting he stood to gain nothing if the Red Bull driver was penalised. Magnussen caught Verstappen at turn one during a flying lap and told his team on the radio he “was completely in the way”. However when the stewards investigated the incident they ruled the Red Bull driver did not hold up his rival. The Haas driver said he was “happy that it was looked at” even though he would “gain nothing” if Verstappen was penalised. Magnussen qualified 19th for the grand prix while Verstappen took pole position. Magnussen said he was held up by Verstappen on Friday “I just feel the stewards have to look at everything,” Magnussen explained. “Not just when it’s like a high-profile thing, when it’s little things. “We’re fighting as hard as we can as well, so we want our stuff to be looked at as well and I was out of Q1. At the end of day, that lap where he impeded me was cancelled because of track limits, but I also had to make up like two-tenths that I lost in the first corner so you get put under more pressure.” However Magnussen admitted he “would have kind of hated if he had been taken off pole for that.” Advert | Become a RaceFans supporter and go ad-free The incident between Hamilton and Verstappen occured during the first round of qualifying for the sprint race. As Hamilton began his final lap he was caught by Verstappen, who was finishing a lap. Verstappen felt Hamilton’s driving was “not correct” “He blocked me into the last corner, so I had to brake more and I lost like three tenths, so that wasn’t ideal, I think not correct,” said Verstappen. “There was still a few seconds on the clock so I wasn’t sure that my lap time was going to be safe so I wanted to continue but I ran out of time, space, with the two cars like that, which was a bit of a shame.” Mercedes team principal Toto Wolff admitted they made a mistake by failing to warn Hamilton in time that Verstappen was approaching. “The mistake happened on our side,” he said. “The communication between us and Lewis didn’t give him the right information to get out of Max’s way.” He stressed the error had been unintentional. “No one wants to be in anybody’s way, because if you impede, you’re getting penalised. So that was not the aim.” Advert | Become a RaceFans supporter and go ad-free However Wolff claimed Verstappen’s reaction, by staying on Hamilton’s inside until they reached turn one, was a retaliatory move to prevent the Mercedes driver starting his lap. “On the other side, turn one was a revenge foul, it was just to make sure that his lap is ruined,” said Wolff. “So one was not intentional, the other one was intentional.” He did not believe it was worth raising with the stewards, however. “But who cares? At the end, we looked at it, it wasn’t going to change our race,” said Wolff. “But I think they’re going to talk about it in the drivers’ briefing next week.” Bringing the F1 news from the source RaceFans strives to bring its readers news directly from the key players in Formula 1. We are able to do this thanks in part to the generous backing of our RaceFans Supporters. By contributing £1 per month or £12 per year (or the equivalent in other currencies) you can help cover the costs involved in producing original journalism: Travelling, writing, creating, hosting, contacting and developing. We have been proudly supported by our readers for over 10 years. If you enjoy our independent coverage, please consider becoming a RaceFans Supporter today. As a bonus, all our Supporters can also browse the site ad-free. Sign up or find out more via the links below: 2023 Austrian Grand Prix Browse all 2023 Austrian Grand Prix articles via RaceFans - Independent Motorsport Coverage https://www.racefans.net/

[asinglemagpie]

The Golden Raven: Here Be Spoilers

In no particular order:

Jeremy Knox is the manwhore we all aspire Kevin to be, and I fucking love it for him. That man deserves to get laid and BOY DOES HE!

ANDREW'S GAYDAR. I don't need to say more.

Jeremy Knox is literally trapped by his mother. Without that important paperwork I should bet it's extremely hard for him to do anything at all - will it get in the way of him signing to a professional team?

Holy shit the Foxes' match. I just... Holy shit. I am so gutted for them that they probably won't be able to defend their title - Jack needs to stop being a little shit and practice.

Jeremy trying to get Kevin to stop night practice. The fact that he caught on to things we've all been saying about there's no way Ravens can have much of a career because of what happened to them. Jeremy is no fool.

AARON MINYARD DRIVING THE MAS. I REPEAT: THERE IS TWINYARDS HEALING HAPPENING AND I AM VERY PLEASED!

Jean referring to it as "Andrew's trial". I refuse to see it as an author slip up - Jean had his own Drake. They both are dead, but Andrew and Jean have to repeatedly suffer in public because of and in spite of that. Of course he identifies with Andrew over this, and sees it as him on trial more than Aaron.

Thea Muldani is a cold bitch and I love and hate it. I don't care if the age of consent meant it was legal, it was still morally fucked. I really want Kevin to get with anyone else.

Mind you, Kevin... also a cold bitch. I love it and I hate it. We knew he was capable of it, but to see it... *chef's kiss* I want him to be better than that but as Jean told us... he's just SO good at it.

The interview. Fucking... fuck. Andrew going after him... *thumbs up*

Speaking of Kevin and Andrew: neither of them knowing about Neil's little visit. Andrew's immediate and unbothered assessment that Neil had Grayson killed. The fact that Neil LIED TO ANDREW. I mean... that's pretty huge. I know I'm smashing two different conversations into one big mush of "oh shit" but y'know?

Jeremy's family SUCKS. Racist, homophobic, completely ableist... Noah didn't have to die. Not in a "Jeremy' fucked up" way (because he did, but he was also fucked up too) but that if the family took it seriously he wouldn't have jumped. Like. Fuck. I know there were a lot of thoughts about drugs and suicide and all of that but somehow seeing it on the page was worse than the speculations?

But also... poor Jeremy? It took Noah's death for them to even notice something was going wrong in the family, but instead of seeing it they decided that JEREMY was the problem in the family, and his siblings completely agree with it. I'm so fucking mad for him.

(Stuart must know someone who can break into a bank and steal Jeremy's shit from the safety deposit box, right?)

Jean finally seeing how the Trojans play and having the moment of clarity... that thing he hadn't seen that made them all make sense.

Jean actually said it. And got attacked for it. Hilarious (and sad) but omg XD

Jean putting on the USC shirt to have a tough conversation because he wants the familiarity of the friendly logo to help. I literally last week wrote a scene where Neil goes to the Fall banquet in red and black in an attempt to disarm the Ravens and think he's a friendly. Genuinely had to pause and laugh

Speaking of... I will never again feel bad for what is about to happen to the Ravens in my fic because DAMN NORA. (This is not a complaint. This is me wishing I was as strong to just go "and you and you and you. Dead. Done." XDD)

THE FIRE. The FBI know who did it so I hope they get fucking done for it because otherwise WHAT USE ARE YOU BROWNING?! Speaking of... He has a new partner..??? (Who had one of the Towning pair down as a Moriyama plant because I'm feeling it!)

The apartment is so sketchy. I can't blame them for not being comfortable.

THE FUCKING DOG OMG. Jean is going to be like every dad that "didn't want that damn dog" and be the best fucking dog dad in existence. He will only talk to it in French, probably, but that's fine.

SPEAKING OF FRENCH! The fact that his accent came up killed me! I've adored every time someone brings up that his accent - and by extension Kevin's - isn't the Parisian accent most people learn. Can you imagine the first time Neil heard Kevin's accent and his brain just went "What the fuck was that?" We know he probably travelled most of France so encountered many accents so it probably barely registered, but the fact it came up in this book tickled me XD

There is so much to yell about but I'll start here. I'm going to have to re-read it. And then scream more. Because it's worth it.

[mysteriouslyjovialcolor]

Brazil 2019

-No quali, so here we are

-First time watching a 2019 race

-Extremely uneasy about witnessing Kimi in something other than red

-But excited about the 2019 rookies! (And Carlos in McLaren)

-Max pole?! Let’s go!

-(I forgot Alex was in Red Bull 🫣)

-Carlos Sainz p20?!

-This is Max’ 2nd pole ever!

-“It’s Verstappen, Hamilton, Vettel”!

-“This is Charles Leclerc and Daniel Ricciardo! And now he’s gone past Lando Norris as well!”

-That move on Stroll from Carlos?!

-Charles is on fire here!

-“He is very much the favorite of those in red” And in his first year

-Lando dropped down to p20? Did he and Carlos somehow exchange places?! How the hell did that happen?!

-Charles and Kimi?!

-This race has definitely just been about Charles so far

-Ohmygod the timing screen glitched. Lando’s p11

-Ah contact between Daniel and Kevin :/

-“Well they’re neighbors in the pit lane, so I can see the mechanics in the Haas garage shooting evils at Daniel Ricciardo” Haha

-With the race he’s running, I need Charles to make it to the podium

-Seeing Daniel in p20 is harrowing (it’s giving his last few days at VCarb, I don’t like it)

-And he got a 5s time penalty

-Aah Mercedes undercut???

-Oh bloody hell that pit stop from Red Bull was so good!!

-What the hellll was that Williams doing?!?

-Oh wow Max and Lewis double overtake on Charles

-Aaaah Max has done it!!!

-I’m so proud!!!

-“Feels a bit no man’s land for Ferrari” what are you talking about Charles just went from p14 to p4

-How have they not put in radio subtitles yet?

-Lando and Carlos making it to p7 and p8

-“It’s very hard to keep up with him man” Lewis?

-“Yeah, I think we got the wrong tire” Oh?

-“Well what are we waiting for? We’re not getting any close!” Lewis basically driving and strategizing all by himself

-This Red Bull pit crew is insanely good

-“Leclerc doesn’t make it any easier for him”

Charles defense masterclass!!

-If Sebastian somehow wins this race after all the strategies from Red Bull and Mercedes, that would be hilarious

-I am actually so so impressed by Charles defending from Valterri right now

-“By the way, Carlos Sainz up to p10 from back of the grid”

-Oh no Valterri out of the race

-Safety car?

-No, yellow flag.

-Oh never mind, full safety car

-“Box, box, opposite to Verstappen” and the pit stop games are back

-Every other team pitting as well

-Charles got newer tires. I really need him on the podium now

-“The safety car needs to speed up man” Has there been a safety car race where this has not been said?

-Aaaaaah any time Lewis and Max go wheel to wheel, I just have to hold my breath and watch cause I know it’s going to be good

-Also Alex p3!!!

-“the youngster in his rookie season, never been on the podium before, finds himself in third place” (oh please let him make podium)

-Carlos p7!

-Daniel back in the points!!

-“You just can’t get too much of Hamilton versus Verstappen can you” you really can’t

-Oh wow really thought Sebastian would get past there!

-“Albon, it’s really his first time up with the big boys and he’s handling it well”

-Let’s go Charles!!!

-Aaah the Ferrari’s are fightingggg!

-Oh no!

-Oh no! They both hit each other!! Ohmygodd

-Both of them cursing each other out?

-Another safety car??

-Maybe Lewis will get new tires now

-He’s come out p4! What? Why was that a good idea?!

-Is this going to be a Red Bull 1-2?!?

-Where is this race going??

-“That reminded me of Vettel and Webber at Turkey” They’ll never let go of those two teammates

-“I do think Mercedes have pitted Lewis Hamilton off the podium” like why??

-If the race ends like this, Max, Alex and Pierre will be on the podium- which is extremely crazy, especially for Pierre

-Aah Lewis got back, I shouldn’t have doubted him

-Oh come on!! That’s such bad luck for Alex!! Lewis whyyyy!? He was p2!!!

-Woah Pierre’s p2 now?! Where did he slip in from?!

-I’m actually so sad about Alex right now! That’s so disappointing!

-“The Brazilian Grand Prix goes to Max Verstappen!”

-“Gasly comes home to take second place! His first podium in Formula 1”

-I mean that is some great karma there for real (for the team obviously, not for Alex)

-“It’s the best finish for Toro Rosso since Sebastian Vettel won” Like insane levels of karma

-“Absolutely bossed it! Well done Max!” “Haha! We did it as a team guys” They’re so family coded your honor

-Aaaah Pierre on the radio!!! Aaah I’m cryingggg!!

-(I’m still extremely sad for Alex)

-Max running to his team>>>>

-So so happy for Pierre 😭😭

-Pierre really looks so young here. Him just taking everything in>>

-“I massively apologize to Albon” :((

-“I was praying for that Honda engine to give me everything” 😭😭

-All three of them talking so animatedly to each other

-I’m not getting over this podium anytime soon 😭😭

(Had to look up if Lewis did end up getting a penalty for his move on Alex. He did. Went down to p7)

[hulknussen]

i need to know more about young nico issues and how kevin can use them PLEASE PLEASE also pinterest showed me young nico eta pictures with pimples all over his face and messy hair HE SO FUCKING CUTE kevin needs to enter his life and fuck him up completely PLEASE I NEED THAT FIC IM DYING

okay I'm. I would go so far as to say insane about this AU. YOU'RE NOT HELPING ANON! sorry. uhm. anyway!

yes nico has issues. I love giving him issues. also Kevin but Kevin tends to get a different brand of issues TM from me. it's also different in I suppose it's intensity? like for make it last I had one commentor rightfully point out that Kevin needs a therapist asap. and the portrayal also differs; in the groshulknussen fic it's almost completely metaphorical and never discussed/put into words at all. so yeah, I think there's a general thread you can weave through my fics and their characterizations that all centre on vaguely similar or connected themes, and if you wanted to you could piece it all together and find "the one" concrete answer to "what is nico and kevin's issue seriously you need to be medicated"

anyway, that said, I do prefer keeping it vague. kind of, looking at what the person is like now, as opposed to what got them there. in mil we never explored where both kevin and nico got their attachment issues from. the closest we get is kevin's inner monologue about his past relationships falling apart because of them. for nico nothing at all. there are of course things I have in mind for them--but saying, "x happened so now he is y" feels disingenuous. I want readers to be able to interpret and also relate and project to whatever measure feels right to them. I love writing for its ability to reach beyond what's really just letters on paper (or a screen). so, in the spirit of that, I tend to rarely look too much at this. I enjoy looking at the broken person, not what broke them.

doesn't mean that I don't put all those papers on psychiatry and psychoanalysis I have read to good use- I really think most of Kevin's leverage would come from just telling Nico what to do. super simple thing, I know, but that's the point. simple and easy and feels good and protects me and please please I'll do anything please just keep me safe. which gives Kevin the ability to not exactly do that, but convince Nico that yes, this is the right and good thing, just trust me, and Nico will try really really hard to justify it to himself.

but I will also say I haven't considered how heavy we'd be leaning into the power dynamic. that's the sort of thing I have to quite literally feel out while writing (a good example would be nico's suicidal/necrophilia adjacent fantasies in the lance/nico fic, which were totally up in the air because I had no idea how it would read and feel until it was written). I don't mind heavy fics, or writing angst, but I do prefer toeing that line of what is "acceptable" and what isn't, also because I suppose it feels worse? if Kevin was outright abusing Nico that would feel bad, no doubt, but if you yourself barely know up from down, just as Nico does, it'll arguably mess you up more. at least it would for me. I don't want to write evil!Kevin and victim!Nico, I want them to be codependent and sickly in love while they drive each other to ruin. I want nico to slip up and call kevin dad and for kevin to take that and call him son and kid and boy in return until nico is crying and the entire time they're fucking. I want nico to get cripplingly jealous of any other/new rookie/young driver that is in any way in contact with kevin to the point where he has a one-sided rivalry with one of them and constantly tries squaring up against someone who isn't even a challenger.

also I think it'd be funny for Haas to decide to drop Nico because they realize they created an absolute monster in letting these two team up. I want Ayao to watch as nico trails after kevin like a lost puppy and shake his head in disgust. I want interviewers to talk to each other about how they're starting to feel uncomfortable interviewing nico because kevin is always around somehow and looks like he's marking his territory. I want jenson to ask kevin how it feels to now finally be in the position of the older driver and to realize, halfway through the convo and in absolute horror, that it's nothing like jenmag was when they were teammates. for jenson to wonder in the back of his head if he fucked up, or if he somehow made kevin feel like kevin is making nico feel right now during their time as teammates, even though his influence on kevin was very minimal all things considered.

might make a post on younger nico pics for this eventually, if I get around to it. or just both of them for this AU, young nico and some of the more serious/rugged pictures of kevin's from recent years.

[rpmtrish]

NEOPMA President John Mazzorana Announces Retirement

"GOOD BYE. IT’S TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON." (John Mazzorana) It seems like yesterday that I started the NEOPMA. It’s been 32 years of love , frustration , aggravation, fun and friendship. Despite all the stomach acidity and thankless times …I still think of our racers as friends , family and some cases even like my brothers/ children. I will miss you guys but promise to stay in touch. My decision to retire is based on several things but I will only share the top four in random order: Several of the clubs staunchest racer sponsors have either stopped racing ,moved on to other organizations or simply moved. One of my major reasons for running the club was the comrades/ friendship and fun I have with you all. Recently my health has become of real concern and makes it difficult to me to give 100% effort to do a good job. I hope to be somewhat better early next year. The Pro Mod world is becoming cluttered with big dollar events, lots of associations with numerous events and less cars per event. Difficult to successfully compete. It’s not uncommon to see $50,000 purses (now $ $150,000) causing drivers to move onto other programs. On the other hand, PRO MODS ARE FINALLY GETTING RECOGNITION. WHERE DOES THE NEOPMA GO FROM HERE? Frankly, I don’t know. I would like it to continue and prosper so I’ve been trying to find a suitable replacement but to no avail. Some of the best candidates understand the time and dedication required but cannot commit. Others simply do not have the drive, desire or skill set needed to assure ongoing success. Frankly, this is a quandary. Anyone interested please contact me. THANK YOU TO SO MANY RACERS, SPONSOR COMPANIES, TRACKS. This good bye note would be extremely long if I mentioned all the people who helped us so I will only focus on the top few : THANK YOU TO OUR STAFF WITHOUT WHOM THEIR WOULD-BE CHAOS: Mark Tinari our Vice President director of marketing, website manager and photographer has been the cornerstone of our team for over 25 years. His continued support has help make us one of the best-known PM clubs in the country. Dennis Quitoni our director of operations joined us several years ago and brought more comprehensive and effective methods of staging with cohesive rules while managing racer relations. “You can’t make all the racer happy all the time“ but Dennis listens and tries. Donna Curci and Jimmy. Long Island Donna is her race name and our club announcer. Her passion for Drag racing is fantastic. She eats, sleeps and thinks about nothing once she is at the track, yes and even at home Ya gotta love her . Mel Jones is our operation assistant manager. Aside from helping stage cars and numerous other tasks , he is fun to be with. Thank God for Mel and his sense of humor. PM drivers can be very demanding and outspoken. It is Mel’s personality that keeps us from getting upset. Jay Warren (NC ProModer) and his wife Lori are welcomed members of our NEOPMA family. Jay provides us with some of the best Live Coverage ever . His talent and consistent coverage make us proud to work with him. THANKS TO OUR RACERS AND RACER SPONORS: Just a few … Fred Scriba, Anne and the Scriba family for their many years of support, dedication, sponsorship and most of all friendship. The Scriba family has been loyal to the NEOPMA for well over 25 years. They are one of the major reasons I continued to run the club. The Hard racing team (Brian Hard, Tyler Hard and Kevin McCurdy) supported the club and helped bring it up to the level of larger organizations. Through their efforts and support the NEOPMA racers can stand toe to toe with any Pro Mods in the country. The Pilot, King, Miller racing team are great competitors and friends. Through their participation and assistance, we were able to have top notch racing and competitive payouts. They are lots of fun and a very competitive team that are envied. Too many more to list. You made it fun. THANKS TO OUR SUPER LOYAL TRACKS BOTH PRESENT AND PAST: Maryland International Raceway. Royce Miller one the best track owners and promoters in the USA and a close friend. His track is by far one of the best tracks in the country with fantastic, caring ownership/management, super facility, great track prep and devoted personnel . Thank you for your friendship , loyalty and support for over 25 years . Empire Dragway up in Leicester NY . The facility is amazing and one of the best tracks we have ever raced at . Great track prep, long safe shutdown, warm and friendly staff and super spectator appreciation . Empire is a relatively new track to the NEOPMA but has quickly become one of our favorites. Tracks from our past: Englishtown , Cecil County Raceway , Atco and Capitol have all played a major role in our 32 years of success. THANKS TO OUR MANUFACTURE SPONSORS FOR GREAT PRODUCTS AND FINANCIAL SUPPORT: ATI PERFORMANCE PRODUCTS… JC BEATTIE has helped us for years with superior racing part and financial assistance. Quality parts. VP RACING Fuels … if you’re racing a PRO MOD car then the only fuel to consider is VP. VP products and financial support have helped us stay at the forefront of the Pro Mod class. Fantastic product! Mark Mickie Transmissions … WOW , by far one of the best Pro Mod transmissions on the market. Great product , great service , competitive pricing and super people who are racers themselves…what more can you ask for? Working with this team is a pleasure. THANKS TO OUR FANS AND SPECTATORS. We appreciate your years of loyalty and support. You were there when we were a young, fledgling organization and you stayed with us for all these years. You’ve seen us grow into a one of the fastest, successful and longest lasting Pro Mod organizations in the country. THANK YOU, LORD, FOR 32 YEARS OF FUN , FAST CARS AND ESPECIALLY FRIENDSHIP. Read the full article