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bubblegumochi · 8 years ago

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credits to @yourbiaslikesitrough

pairing: Jungkook | Reader genre: Much angst, slight fluff, one shot warning: None :) words: 2.1k

“You’ve got a lil’ bit of cream there. No… There! Here, let me get that for you.” Jungkook leaned forward, gesturing at the corners of your mouth. Your face morphing into a shy grin as you watched him drag his thumb across your lips, before he brought his finger back to his mouth and licked the cream off of it. He’s always been such a big flirt, throwing you that enticing grin every time he teases you.

“Yah, stop that.” You giggled, punching him lightly on the shoulder as laughter filled the quiet cafe. It was your favourite place to go to most of the days, it was the only bit of time the two of you were able to share with each other after long hours of work. Jungkook might have been busy preparing for the upcoming tour, but he’d never fail to make time for you. He would never have the heart to leave you alone even for a day. The constant ringing of your phone signalling a new text from him would always put a wide smile on your face.

Sucking on his fingers, Jungkook closed his eyes as he hummed in satisfaction at the sweetness of the cream. “Yummy. Still my favourite ever.” He commented, before bringing the last bite of the cake to your mouth. “You can have the last bit.”

“Sweet.” You grinned, quickly pulling Jungkook’s hand towards yourself as you took the bite, almost as if you were afraid he would steal it from you. “I know.” He beamed.

“I meant the cake.” You joked, only to burst out in laughter as Jungkook’s grin quickly turned into a pout.

It has been six years, and you’d never thought a place that you loved so much could feel so foreign, but you knew it couldn’t be helped. You felt alienated as you sat amongst the couples that had settled down at the tables next to yours, your fingers playing with the edge of your sleeves as you silently watched.

It just felt so empty.

It wasn’t any different when you returned to the house you and Jungkook had gotten after a year of dating. The house was empty, just like it had been for the past few months. Dust blanketing the long forgotten piano that laid uselessly at the corner of the room, the house had never felt so quiet.

There you were, sitting at the table alone, staring at the piece of roughly decorated dessert, it’s cream just drooping off it’s soggy cake layers for as long as it has been sitting outside. You began questioning your own decisions, contemplating on the reasons to why you wasted your time stepping out of the house to get a cake for someone you knew who won’t be coming home any time soon, as much as you wanted him to.

Ever since a new tour season had begun, Jungkook barely had the time to go out with you, much less being able to reply your messages even if he wanted to. You’d always be waiting for the notifications at night, checking your phone every five minutes only to be greeted with nothing but an old picture of the two of you.

There wasn’t much reason, at least none that you could think of, to why you still kept that picture all these while. You might’ve scrolled through your photo library multiple times that week, trying so desperately to rid of something you’ve cherished so long. But for what reasons? You knew, that even with all these empty rooms, forgotten messages and missed calls, you loved him anyways. You couldn’t possibly just throw all these feelings aside. At least, not any time soon.

Not wanting to ruin your already-gone appetite, you picked up the piece of pathetic-looking cake, walking sluggishly into the kitchen before tossing the cake into the bin. “It didn’t cost much anyways…” You muttered, before yawning loudly.

It was only about nine at night, but you found yourself crawling back into bed, after an extremely long non-productive day — as usual. “What a fun day, can’t wait till tomorrow… Everyday’s a new day, am I right?” You scoffed at yourself, sinking into bed before pulling the blanket over yourself.

Letting out a muffled grunt of frustration, you closed your eyes before allowing the incessant ticking of the wall clock to lull you to sleep.

“Kookie! Sleep next to me, please?” Tugging at the sleeves of the brown-haired boy, you tried your best to pull him down next to you.

“Yah, you’re going to ruin my shirt! Stop pull— Ah fine fine! Stop pulling it, I’ll sleep next to you alright?” Jungkook struggled to pull his sleeves out of your hands, only to give up before you could rip a hole in his precious white shirt. “Move in, you can’t expect me to sleep on the edge…” He waved his hand at you, gesturing for you to shift yourself.

You couldn’t help but grin at Jungkook as he shuffled closer to the bed, his features only visible under the dimly lit table lamp by the bed. Refusing to move even an inch, you spread yourself out, covering almost every corner of the small bed, before glancing up at him and smiled at him teasingly.

“Oh come on, Y/N. And you call me the mean one…” He’s voice faltering as he let out a loud yawn. It was obvious that he was exhausted, his tired figure slumping over the bed, almost as if he could just fall on you anytime. You couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty at the sight of his exhaustion. Pulling yourself up from bed, you patted the empty space next to you. “Here, Kookie.”

It didn’t take long before you heard his breath even out, his eyelashes fluttering every so often and his plumped lips slightly parted. He was breathtaking, even as he slept. His slightly tanned skin glowing under such a dark room and his lips just so inviting. Afraid to wake him up, you lowered yourself slowly, placing your forehead against the back of his neck as you snuggled next to him, only to hear him whisper your name.

“S-Sorry… Did I wake you?” You leaned towards him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“It’s alright.” He muttered, suddenly flipping himself around so that he’d be facing you. Your faces so close you could smell his minty breath, his nose just rubbing yours slightly and his eyes staring straight into yours.

You felt your face burn up as his hands crept up your back and to your neck, pulling your face even closer to his. It was only then when you felt your lips connect with his. It felt soft, and warm. He allowed you to settle in before running his fingers through your hair, leaning in further and pushing himself onto you. Tugging at the back of his shirt, you felt his tongue slip passed the seam of your mouth playfully. Parting your lips for him, you allowed him to indulge himself with the taste of sweetness in your mouth.

The kiss lasted long enough, before he pulled himself away from you. “I haven’t had the chance for that today, and I definitely ain’t going to end the day without one.” Letting out a soft giggle, you cupped his face with your relatively small hands, dragging your thumb over the scar of his cheek.

“What would I do without you, Jeon Jungkook.”

“I’d never leave you, I promise.”

It felt almost as if it’s been days after you threw away that pathetic piece of cake, but that had just been yesterday. Pulling the blanket up to your nose, you took a deep breathe and sighed, only to realise that it was still perfumed with that fresh minty-smell of his. It would have been a terrible lie, if you told yourself you didn’t miss him.

“Honestly, why must all these shitty things happen to me…” You found yourself muttering, staring blankly at the white ceiling. Letting out a quick, frustrated grunt, you kicked away your blanket, shivering a little as the cold air brushed against your warm skin. Not wanting to bore yourself with more self-pity, you pushed yourself off the bed reluctantly.

Back at the dining table, you couldn’t help but stare blankly at the empty table, hugging your knees tightly against your chest. You couldn’t stop thinking about him, but for some reason, you felt selfish. You felt selfish for being so needy, for wanting him beside you, to stay here forever even when you know he didn’t have much of a choice for being away.

You wouldn’t have realised how used you have gotten to the silence in this house, until your phone started ringing.

There it was, his bright toothy smile reflected off the scratched surface of your phone, which was buzzing incessantly across the table. It was as if he could somehow sense your discomfort from thousands of miles away; it was these small sensibilities that made you love him all the more.

This was all you had wished for, a simple call from him.

But for some reason, you just couldn’t bring yourself to pick up the vibrating phone. Somehow you knew if you did, you would regret every single decision you have made so far. Chewing the insides of your cheek anxiously, you finally reached over and pressed the answer button on the screen.

“H-Hello? (Y/N)?” His voice echoing through the device, just as soft as you remember it to be. You began tearing up even before you managed to say anything, his voice stirring nostalgic feelings that you thought you’ve thrown away. Afraid that he would hear you crying, you held a hand over your mouth, muffling the insistent sobs.

“(Y/N) ah… I’m sorry it’s been so long since I called… Tour’s been really busy and my schedules packed from day to night, I barely have time to sleep at night… I really couldn’t call you even if I wanted to… I’m really sorry (Y/N)… I… I just wanted to call to tell you that I love you and I miss you.”

It was obvious he was crying from the other side, the pauses in his sentence and his voice trembling as he tried to call your name was enough to tell you how much he missed you. There was no way he didn’t, and he must’ve been hurting just as much as you have.

“Jungkook ah… just… stop.” Your voice soft, and barely audible. A mixture of guilt and regret now twisting in your stomach as you tried to form the word in your mouth. You couldn’t bare to say it, you were afraid of how much you could hurt him. It’s been six damn years since the two of you settled in together, six long years of adventure that would never have happened without the two of you. But you couldn’t do it anymore.

You hated yourself for being selfish, for being so incredibly needy. But as much as you loved the boy a thousand miles away, you couldn’t hold him back anymore.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you. I love you so much, so so much. But I can’t hold you back anymore… I’m sorry Kookie. I’ve been acting selfish and so god damn needy and I can’t do this to you anymore.” As those words fell from your mouth, tears were now streaming down your face, your voice quivering uncontrollably as you broke down.

“What are you s-saying, Y/N. Please, whatever it is, let’s talk it out?” You could hear his voice trembling, his anxiety travelling across the phone. It fucking hurts.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… But I gotta go…”

And it was just silence, absolutely nothing on both ends.

“Y/N please! Don’t go! I love y—” You cut him off right there, your heart breaking into a thousand pieces and it hurts so damn much. You held the phone in your hand, and you stared. Your mind completely blank and you just stared.

There was no turning back now, no matter how much you regret your decision. It was for the best, at least that’s what you thought… Everything was just slipping through your fingers, fading away and there was nothing you could do to stop it. You could feel yourself falling apart, the only anchor in your life now gone because of your own selfishness. Everything in the room now purposeless, it was just black and white, all around you.

But deep down, you knew how you truly felt about him.

I love you, Jeon Jungkook.

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