#kinda sucks having my birthday really early in the year tho

[sk3l3t0n444]

2024 please be nice to me im begging you

[saturnaous]

hi. your turn. what if you talked about your ocs teehee. stares at you with sparkly eyes

ooohhhh. ohhhhhhh. hooohoohooohhh. you messed up. you messed up big time. I'm on my computer now and you have to bare this hellstorm you brought up. hoohhhh

okay first we're going over Morble. because he's been on my mind lately teehee.

okay where are my pictures of him hold on. hold ond

marby mooby mamb. . .

okay so he's three years old now. I have to say that. I made him a few days before my birthday. it's horrible. we were similar ages now I'm OLD and he's also a lot older now but at the same time he's NOT. why are you in sixth grade still marbs. why.

anyways. He was made after another spurt of my enjoyment of The Weekly Roll on webtoon; it's a dungeons and dragons type webtoon, Morble is inspired by Sir Becket(he's now Lord Becket. good for you Becket). Becket's a Paladin, Morble's a Paladin. I dunno. It's neat.

that's not the neatest part about Morble though! You see. He's from a modernish dnd-like world. so uhm. basically he's kinda boring. besides being like an orphan or whatever. wait no before I move on to other bits I'm just gonna go in order of what happens.

Morble's basically just a little guy. he's just a fella. uh. he has a brother and HAD. two parents OH ACTULLY I RELALY LIKE HIS PARENTS HOLD ON I HAVE DRAWINGS OF THEM.

Katty and Mavrick. I like them a lot. these are them at maybe like early to mid twenties? around the time they got together(they went to the same highschool but met in collage and really connected at that point. they're so awesome together). they are SO neat to me.

Kat is a nice lady; she's like 6'1 and has a real hearty laugh. She's so sweet and so cool I love her so much. Mavrick is fucking deranged. He's an absolutely spunky ball of chaotic energy. He has no self preservation skill and is just an absolute goober. He's great. Everytime I imagine these two I just think of the rabbits with the "rabbit obsessed with his giant girlfriend who's 4x times his size" because he IS. They are looking at eachother thinking "I love my wife". Marvrick you are so wife. it doesn't help that he took her last name. Katty and Maverick Moor. . .

Kat was a firefighter for the longest time. Mav was a chaotic fencer and fence instructor. he's stupid with it though. His ass didn't like wearing protective gear half the time because of his confidence and lack of preservation skills. He died of a collapsed lung oneday when Morble was about nine.

teehee. mav's a little fabric guy tho. he knits. he sews. he embroiders. uhhhmmm. In that second image of Morble up here with the purple background! He's wearing a red cloak! Maverick made it for him and was gonna give it to him for his birthday. neat. obviously he couldn't. Kat gave it to him because. Well. Yeah.

Morble had a hard time with his dad being dead. I mean. what's a 9 year old supposed to do when your dad dies. it kinda sucks. Kat was going over some family history and going through some old heirlooms and stuff. The Moor's are from a pretty long line of Paladins spanding at least 500 years back(heehoo. hold onto that information). Turns out! There's also a great helm made by one of these Paladins from 500 years ago. Katty pulled it out of storage or whatever and gave it to Morble because he thought he might like it. Because it's neat. Morble loved it. literally has never taken it off.

A couple months after Mav died, Kat died while on the job. kinda fucked up. It's totally my fault for that but. Morble doesn't have to know that. But sucks for him. his brother too but he's a 4yo he doesn't really. know what's happening. but still sucks.

Morble and his brother move in with their grandma and stepgrandma. I don't have anything on them. but yeah.

Fastforward when Morble's 12. bc they had to move they're in a new school and stuff. nobody knows about dead parents or any symbolism in anything. yeah. he's kinda bullied but he just kinda shrugs it off. he's not that kind of guy.

anyways. now we're getting tot he fun parts. Morble walks from school to his grandma's apartment. there's a neat little field kinda inbetween the walk. onepoint Morble noticed a little glimmer near one of the super old trees over there. dunno how he caught it but he did(plot reasonings are why). anwyays.

morble goes over. turns out it's a neat little ring. he grabs it.

BOOM. he fucked up. the ring is magic. he gets swallowed up into some weird current thing the only way I've thought about what it's like is. basically imagine the sky is a giant fuckingthing of water and you can't breathe. it feels like drowning.

once he gets oout of it and recovers from the drowning feeling or whatever. he's like. where the hell am I. Because it's completely different from where he just was. which was like a dewy day or whatever. right now he's in super tall fields with grass and shit.

well. heehoo. yk how I said paladins go back about 500 years in his family? well. heehoo. heehoo. guess what.

Magic ring was really fucking magic and wahoo! Time traveling. I know. Wild. I don't know what I was thinking when I made him do that but it's integral to his character now so I can't change it.

Turns out. there's a little Party down a head from the road he got spat out right next to. turns out. hoo boy. The paladin in the party is an ancestor of Morble's. Got the same helm and everything. turns out he's the guy who MADE the helm actually. His name is Hearth. Hearth Moor. he's pretty cool.

about. uhhh. I dunno maybe 10 years go by? yeah Morble basically gets situated to being 500 years offset from his actual timeline. he's been looking for a way to get back for the entire time but. there hasn't been much luck. so he's just chillin.

he's 22 at this point. He sticks with Hearth and the whole party which I only vaugely got. then they go to fight a red dragon for some reason. no biggie.

hearth fucking gets clobbered and dies. which sucks. they retreat. then morble has the bright idea of well. I'm gonna go fight this dragon myself and WIN. avenge him or whatever. like an idiot. you remember how your dad died, right, morby? you little fucker.

anyways.he goes and fights this dragon. and somehow! for whatever reason! motherfucker wins. chops off his head and brings it back into town. he almost died tho. bro's bleeding like all hell. so yeah he has to spend some time being not fucking dead.

okay you know how I did that serval vs brown tabby poll yesterday. well. that was on our next character, Coraline.

coraline. the baddie. she's so cool.

she's a serval now btw. the poll said so and I was digigng the design more than the brown tabby. anyways.

She's a bard! She's working at the tavern the party was staying at. She basically became Morble's nurse because. because. she'd sing him songs and shit. Her voice claim is actually. uhhhhhhh. The son Rich by Cosmo Sheldrake and the other person that worked on it. yeah.

Coraline joins the party whenever they get back on their feet. The Tavern keeps the dragons head because Morble said they could. They go from 'The Hollow Tavern' to 'The Hollow Dragon's Tavern'. p neat.

uh. yeah. Next two years Coraline and Morble get kinda close. they like eachother but Morble's fucking stupid. he's a shy little himbo. what a goober.

that's basically all I got on canon for him tbh. I like to twirl him around in my head. I have one pathway where Marby finds a way to go back to his timeline. when he's 12. he was missing for about two months tho. 12 years turned into 12 weeks. yeah. sucked for everyone around them. but mostly morble because he's now 24 in a scrawny 12 yearold's body and going to 6thgrade classes. and everybody thinks he's 12 and doesn't know where he's been for like two months and he won't tell anyone because nobody would believe him if he shrugged and said Yeahhh I picked up a magic ring and I was stuck 500 years ago for 12 years! No biggie!! yeah. Morble just kinda goes about like tho after that and becomes a highschool history teacher and works at the local museum. he's really neat. He also is super funky when it comes to his classroom decorations because he has a wall of swords and an entire replica of the suit of heavy armor he used to wear. he's also deranged and under his clothes and leather jacket he has like. jackchains, chainmail(lining his jacket), greaves, and. I think something else but I forgot what. he's wild. I just really like to put him in the salad spinner of my head and think about him with things teehee. twirls hair kicks feet.

yeah. you fucked up with this ask tho. I have more. I'm talking about Harry now. maybe Kinglen if I feel like it. let me get my things fo harry.

this be harry. harry hearthorn. I'm obsessed with him. he's so fucking funny. you'll have to excuse the things of Alphonse and stuff in that last one. I'm gonna be using. him for dnd <3

I love Harry. He's from a military type country or whatever. it's. it's not the best. they're like. I don't know how to describe it. think of amestris but less "we wanna take over the world" and more "we like war and we want more" or whatever. you understand. it's a weird one.

there's like three main branches of jobs. military, research and development slash the sciences, and basically 'entertainment'. entertainers are literally just everything that doesn't fall into the other catagories. these are like artists and show runners and broadcasters and radio hosts and other things of the sort.

school works in this place by being 12 years just like 'merican schools(EAGLE SCREECH GUNSHOTS FIREWORKS). but the first 8 you are just doing general stuff. the 9 and 10th are for pinning down what branch you're going into. and 11 and 12 are getting experience in your field. this is mainly getting mentorships and other stuff, witht he execption of the military branch

Military only has one place to go. If you're going into the military at 16, you're goign STRAIGHT To tht emilitary at 16.

Harry's mom was in the R&D branch, Harry's dad was in the military. they met at a bar. they're funny. both bisexual which is REALLY funny because Harriet is ALSO bisexual and Harry is bicurious-aspec. harry's mom is 6'1 btw. Harry's 6'5. justlittle stuff. I think I named her Maria. his dad is named Henry.

anyways. Harry and Harriet., they are siblings. Harriet is two years older than Harry. though it's funny bc their full names are Harrison and Harriet. but. Harriet is Harry. And Harrison is Harriet. they had a sense of humor.

ATM harry is 31. Harriet is 33 and a senior broadcaster at one of the shownetworks or whatever. Maria is retired. Henry died while on duty when Harry and Harriet were lke 12 and 14.

anyways. Harry wanted to go into the science or military branches. like his parents. His scores were leaning more to being althetic and shit so he got put into the military. he's been there like. ever since. he barely goes home bc he feels no need and because there's an active war(a really long one. . . neither side will stop. . . they really like war) and he just. didn't feel the need. but they forced him to go home a few times when he got like. shot and stabbed and stuff. yeah he's a g like that. did I mention he's a first lieutenant btw. he's a first lieutenant bc I said so.

anyways. his downfall is when onetime. after making a bad call sends the part of his platoon he's with through a part of whereever they are. one fo the younger guys. steps on a landmine. out of like, 14 soliders, only three of them survive. harry, someone else who was closer to the mine, and a younger one that was farther away and practically unscathed. Harry lost his leg and most of his hearing in his right ear and all of it in his left. teehee

anyways. after his main amount of recovery. he's still in the military but they don't put him on any active duty despite him BEGGING for it. because of the PTSD mainly and because he's depressed as fuck secondarly. yeah. basically it sucks for him really bad. he gets put on staff duty indefinetly. also I have to mention Harry fucks. severially. I mentioned that he's aspec. like. arospec. he is not acespec. he fucks.

anyways. basically he's depressed as fuck because. he accidently killed a bunch of guys and ptsd is kicking his ass. he tries to drink his worries away and doesn't care about what kind of trouble he gets into with the drinking and getting caught with girls and stuff. he gets put onto suicide watch after an incident with a lower ranking guy. yeah.

at that point they decide the best option is to just. give him an honorable discharge. so they do that. Harry has to move in with his mom and sister. he does that. everything sucks for him. yeah

at some point after his birthday he decides well. this fucking sucks. I hate this. I'm leaving. he grabs like his old uniform, and money, and a pack, and a pack of smokes and just. hitchhikes. out of the country. without fucking telling anyone. he calls Harriet and his mom after he's out of the country like "heyyy. I'm. I'm out west or whatever. gonna. figure something out here." and they're like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN. WHAT THE HELL. but he writes them letters and calls them ebcause they can't really do jack about it. yeah

so. basically he's just hitchhiking till he gets to another country. which he does and then basically he tried to do some freelance work or something. then he finds a little group who are gonna basically take down the government. I dunno that's where the campaign is gonna start methinks. Harry might get himself a funny little dragonborn boyfriend. yeah. okay I have to shower and. actually do stuff teehee I rolls out of bed and went straight to my puter to talk about these guys. so teehe. I'm so hungry I need water.

OH OH HOLD ON. uhhmmm here's old art of morble. spannign from 3 years ago to a couple months ago. teehee

neat. the third one is the very very VERY first thing I did of him ever in existance. second one is one I did and the first one is a redraw from months later. the last one is me just doodling him months ago and pinning down his design again. I changed his helm bc it made no sense.

OKAY I’M GOING I’M GOING FALLS TO THE FLOOR AND ROLLS AWAY LIKE A LOG

[ilaiyayaya]

I Am So Mad rn frfr

I hate that my mental health always takes a massive drop around this time of the year. The worst part is like, it's not even like normal seasonal depression, I like fall and winter and like as soon as Christmas is done I'm fine again for the rest of the winter months. But god I fucking can't take having to see my family like once every week or 2 for a full 3 months from the start of October to the end of December because there's always either a holiday or one of their birthday's. At least I narrowly avoided one of the 2 worst days, Thanksgiving, because I had work as an excuse 🎉🎉🎉 unfortunately I don't have work on Christmas and because I avoided them for Thanksgiving I am going to be hearing shit over that on top of the normal things that make me want to die. I am actually at my fucking limit of dealing with these people, the last time I saw them I got extremely close to having a meltdown and fighting my uncle. If I hear a single fucking thing this time about my fucking hair, or my ear-piercing, or my job, or the way I fucking walk, or if one of them say I look like a [REDACTED] because of any of those things I'm gonna fucking lose it. I fucking hate my entire dad's side of my family and I can't fucking escape them in my current situation and yet my mom's side of my family is mostly great and I don't have a problem with a majority of them, unfortunately I haven't been able to talk to any of them in several years and trying to get in contact with any of them would give an easy way for my mother to find me which would potentially put my life in danger so yea that's cool.

At least after Christmas I'll be done with them for a while so just 1 more week and it'll all be over, and as long as I'm out of my father's house by this time next year, which there's no reason why I shouldn't be aside from my own incompetence (which is a really big obstacle, I can't do shit right), I won't have to see any of them ever again. Just 1 more week 1 more week only 1 more I can do it I'll live no more holidays after that I can survive 1 week surely I won't go on a psychotic rampage within that little amount of time.

AND last night someone I haven't talked to in like 6 months randomly messaged me on Discord minutes before I was about to go to sleep wanting to call, and I regrettably said sure. This was like 5 hours before I was supposed to go to work too and the entire like 2 hours he had me trapped in the call I was just desperately trying to find an excuse out (even tho I literally had a very valid excuse of having work the next morning) and of course I did not get a single moment of sleep afterwards because it was too late by the time I got out and was tired af the entire day (I have still not slept since then because I am very smart and take very good care of myself and always get sufficient sleep and I have work again in 6 hours).

The call itself was completely fucking miserable too, there is a reason I haven't talked to this person in 6 months and absolutely should not have agreed to talk but I suck and can't say no to anything ever. Immediately like 1 minute in they start telling me about how they think some girl at a bookstore they go to is flirting with them, which like, on it's own, if it was actually happening, like that's fine, whatever, cool, but then the snowball really starts when he mentions her age as "probably in her early 20s" (he's like, at least 35 (which again, normally I don't care, fine on it's own)), and I blanked out really fucking hard for 90% of that call so I don't even remember everything he said about her after that, but I do remember him progressively changing her age as he kept talking to "probably 20" then "at least 18" and then after that kinda implying but not outright stating that she's possibly not even 18. This entire time I was pretty much not saying a word except like "yea" and "uh-huh" and like other completely meaningless responses, so it just felt like he was having an internal debate with himself over whether he should try to go after this potentially underaged retail worker except instead of it being internal it was out loud, to me. What's fucking worse is the conclusion he came to was that like, he "doesn't really care about how others perceive him at this point" in reference to trying to hit on this probably underage retail worker. I feel really bad for that bookstore clerk she probably literally was just trying to do a job that she has to do and now this creep thinks she's into him. AAAAAAAAAA AND I'M THE FUCKING WORST BECAUSE THE ENTIRE TIME THE MOST I SAID WAS LIKE "yea I probably wouldn't do that, but like it's your life I can't stop you" INSTEAD OF TAKING A HARD STANCE AND JUST SAYING OUTRIGHT TO FUCK OFF AND DIE.

After they finally finished being the biggest creep I have had to talk to in months they just started talking about a bunch of random games they'd been playing, and they got really hung up on Baldur's Gate 3 specifically, they fuckin' hate it. I should preface this part with, I have mentioned to this person once in the past that I am nonbinary and trans and they were kinda weird about it then and I just didn't ever bring it up after that, but they still definitely knew unless they just forgot. So like, idk anything about Baldur's Gate, or D&D as a whole, but I've heard 3 is good, and so when he first brought it up I said "I haven't played it but I have literally only heard good things about it" big mistake, this instantly led to him listing off every issue he had with the game, specifically it's writing, and how much he hates that they added the ability to choose your pronouns because it's a classic fantasy game and pronoun choice doesn't make sense in a D&D-style fantasy world (even though I thought like the entire point of D&D was making your own character whatever the fuck you want it to be). He also really didn't like that you can be in a polyamorous relationship in 3 and brought up an example of like, some character in 2 would never be in a poly relationship, and if you chose them as your partner they would probably kill you if you tried going out with anyone else, but like, that character isn't in 3 as far as I'm aware, and also like, just because it wasn't in 2 doesn't mean they can't add it in 3, actually that was like the crux of most of his points he just really didn't like anything that was even slightly different than Baldur's Gate 2. Also side note but that character he brought up from 2 I do not remember the name of at all and every single time he brought her up he was like "surely you know her, you've definitely seen her there's tons of rule 34 of her" sorry but no I haven't seen the porn of a random character that I didn't even know existed and I don't know why you assume I have. Anyways now I have a reason to play Baldur's Gate 3 and never touch Baldur's Gate 1 or 2 entirely out of spite.

I don't know why the fuck he just randomly wanted to talk to me and have these specific fucking conversations with me of all people but now I've had to spend the last 20 hours thinking about how much that call pissed me off so that's fun. God I fucking wish I had some basic fucking social ability to tell someone to fuck off without worrying about, literally nothing, just completely nebulous anxiety, I had literally no reason not to just leave the call and tell him not to message me again as soon as he started being weird BECAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY FUCKING GIVE A SHIT HOW SOMEONE WHO IS THAT MUCH OF A PIECE OF SHIT REACTS TO ME TELLING THEM TO SHUT UP WHY THE FUCK AM I LIKE THIS AAAAAAAAA I'M JUST FUCKING BLOCKING HIM NOW LIKE I SHOULD HAVE LAST NIGHT AAAAAAAAA. At least in this case I can just easily block him and be done with it, I'm not friends with anyone he knows anymore and I already hadn't been talking to him but like, ugh.

[hajime-isayama-official]

One main arguments I’ve seen from non Jewish and poc snk Stan’s and that will have that one token Jewish person or friend who says they are not offended and snk isn’t anti Semitic or Nazi propaganda. Or say well isayama isn’t a anti Korean racist or Japanese imperialist that’s all been proven fake blah blah blah. Even if it’s fake the series is still problematic stop using that one Jewish person who isn’t offended they don’t speak for all Jewish people obviously-part 1

Part 2 he also named miksasa after a imperial Japanese battle ship and dot pixels is based off of a Nazi Japanese imperialist I think? Same for Erwin I might be wrong that’s what I looked up. I’m personally not comfortable supporting the series anymore for valid reasons but it’s honestly so hard to find blogs like you who criticize the series and author I’ve only found a small amount of blogs who acknowledge the problematic aspects in both manga and anime unfortunately :(

Oh Anon, you get me going here.

Yes, Mikasa is named after a very successful battleship (it’s supposedly certain success if your manga has a character named after a battleship). 

Pixis was inspired by a Japanese imperial general. He died before WW2 tho. Anyway that sparked huge controversy with the Japanese fans, leading to hate messages towards Yams for years. 

German SNK Wiki claims Erwin was inspired by Erwin Rommel, a general in WW1 and WW2 who later turned against Hitler (it’s fine cause he wasn’t REALLY a Nazi, right? no.). Erwin’s Birthday is the death day of Erwin Rommel. However, since I can’t find a source I’d take that one with a grain of salt. The main Inspiration for Erwin as a character is Ozymandias from Watchmen. So only fictional mass murder for Erwin here lol

These points are already kinda icky, but can be ignored I guess. Of course SNK searches inspiration in military. It’s a series about literal Child Soldiers (which somehow is never a critic point on any anime/manga?!). However it’s also full of dogwhistles and even more uncomfortable references. 

My main points are the portrayal of grey-morality on the case of genocide and the way Isayama clearly draws inspiration from Nazi Germany when he portrays Marley. The latter is not per say problematic. Fullmetal Alchemist is also inspired by The Third Reich and carries a strong anti-imperalist and anti-nazi message. SNK however falls short on that till now. I am not Jewish myself, so I can obviously not determine what is antisemitic and only point out the obvious. Plus my knowledge of things is obviously limited so feel free to correct or join in. 

Isayama pretty much paints the Eldians as the Jews of this “mirror world” World War we witness since the time skip. This is clear by the imagery of the Ghettos he shows, the armbands the Eldians have to wear and much more (Short images search should do the job here). The coding of the Eldians as Jewish equivalent is complete with the Marleyan myth of Eldians ruling the world if no one does anything to hold them in control (aka every antisemitic conspiracy ever). But it doesn’t end there. We know from the manga that Paradis island is basically Madagaskar. 

The Nazis planned to deport about 4 million Polish Jews to Madagaskar in the 1940′s. That plan was shortlived and obviously never put into action for various reasons. So in SNK we have the scenario that the Eldians fled to Paradis in order to get an advantage over the Marleyans. The Eldians who are not on Paradis live in Ghettos on the mainland. That’s a weird coincidence, considering how many islands our big blue planet has. 

What I think is pretty bizarre is that Isayama distorts this by pairing this imo pretty obvious real live inspiration with references to Norse mythology. This is fucked up in so far that Norse mythology is so heavily appropriated by the Nazis that many runes are outlawed in Germany till today and showing interest in Norse mythology is still often associated with white supremacy (have a look at Neo-Nazi signs and see the pattern). Like, this combination of Norse and early 20th century German imagery isn’t even a dogwhistle anymore, it’s yelling “I SUCK NAZI DICK AND I LIKE IT”.  The references he uses are  especially Ymir and the paths, that can then be seen as the world tree Yggdrasil:

The tree connects the Eldians and the nine titans which share their number with the nine realms that Yggdrasil holds. There’s some more, tiny stuff, like Erwin being easily interpreted as a reference to the God Tyr (God of battle, who loses his right arm in the mouth of a beast) and Hanji to the God Odin (Losing an eye in a well in the pursuit of gaining knowledge and wisdom). Both of these Gods are probably the most appropriated by white supremacists. When Ymir first turns into a titan it is at castle Utgard. In Norse mythology Utgard is a place in Jotunheim, the realm of the Jotun who the giant Ymir is the first ancestor of.

In general the pairing of clear WW2 imagery and references to Norse mythology is a mixture that is VERY sketchy and should always make you suspicious. Especially since these two are not going together (as in Marley using references to Norse mythology), but against each other. So we have both sides (Marley and Eldia) associated with white supremacy. Another thing that I will never be over is that Zeke and Eren are obviously named in reference to the German words Sieg und Ehre (Victory and Honor) referencing white supremacist buzzwords. 

Then we have the issue that the main conflict is not with the Marley people, who are basically our mirrorworld Nazis. The conflict is AMONG the Eldians. Liberating the Eldians form the Marleyans is not even a thing, because we’re busy keeping two Eldians from practicing genocide/euthanasia on their own kind. So in this aspect Eldians are painted basically just as bad as Marleyans (and we have that “everyone is wrong in a war” Issue again). 

I think in the end Eren’s will to kill everyone will lead to Eldians and Marley people accepting their differences or whatever and leading to unision in the shared enemy (kind of already happens in the manga) and while I think that’s a possibly interesting way to go it’s imo not when one of those parties has been subjected to centuries of genocide by the other. Assistant says a good closure to the Norse Mythology theme would be the manga going for Ragnarök, so everyone, Marleyan and Eldian, dies, except for two people who start the world anew. After all anisemitism or in this case anti-eldian sentiment doesn’t just stop after a world war. I don’t really fuck with this bullshit we got in one of the recent chapters where this one Marley general was like “Oh no, they were only people after all”. Bro, your whole society is built on them not being people and all of that is gone in one day of crisis? *doubt.png* 

There’s obviously more to it than that and especially my understanding of the manga might be a bit off, since I don’t read it as attentively as I used to anymore. At this point I’m so fucking suspicious of this manga tbh. I doubt that we can come out of this with an anti-imperialist or anti-fascist message. 

This does of course not mean no one should read or watch the manga or anime. I read/watch it too as you see. But it’s always good to be critical of the media you consume and take concerns from others serious, when it comes to stuff like this. 

[serenedash]

I started rambling about my experience with kh and then it turned into khux and then it just turned into me rambling about Ryou and my art journey????? enjoy I guess,

it’s very long but there’s art in there :)

It’s funny to think about my kh journey as a whole tbh, I grew up watching my mom play video games, which included kh1 and 2. I wasn’t allowed to play the playstation2 we owned BUT I did have a gameboy so the first game I played was CoM (after my mom finished it ofc,) so I guess you could say I’ve always been passionate about kh “””side games””” lmao but I did fall off of kh very quickly bc again, I wasn’t allowed to play our PS2 and also I Am A Terrible Gamer I’ve Never Finished CoM I’m sorry you all had to find out like this, but then 358/2 came out when I was in middle school and!!! I didn’t care and I didn’t play idk why lol

Anyway, fast forward to high school I’m like 15 and my older sister, who HAS been keeping up with kh, has a wallpaper on her phone of roxas and ventus. And bc I haven’t kept up I say “nice roxas wallpaper” and she says “thanks but it’s roxas and ventus” and I proceeded to get so mad that I was determined to prove to her that her wallpaper was just roxas twice and then I fell down the BBS rabbit hole and suddenly I was reading about vanitas and then I’m reading the fan translations of the BBS novel and I’m crying??? I am sobbing???? and that’s how I actually got into kh for real lol we are vanitas stans before we are people,

It’s so funny how I thought I was some kh super fan, knowing all this stuff that I spent so long reading and rewatching cutscene movies, but I never once, SOMEHOW NEVER ever came across khx. It’s so absurd and bizarre I seriously have no idea how I never once encountered khx prior to khux. I suppose that has to do with the fact I wasn’t involved in the fandom? In early high school I had stepped away from fandoms as a whole and I didn’t have any interest in really posting content or interacting with fans anymore bc of how burnt out I was from a previous fandom,

but khux released! and I was so hype and excited for it! on launch day I was a senior in high school, I had ran around to every “nerd” and weeb I could find in school to ask them to join my party and fun fact about me is I have crippling social anxiety I literally refuse to start conversations irl so holy shit I was OUT HERE doing the MOST

My player just originally had my name (Matt) but everyone in my party had fun names so Ryou was born! High school was one big yugioh phase for me and ryou bakura is one of my favorite characters ever so it was just the logical name choice lol I quickly started creating Ryou, the character, as well. I was also leaving my homestuck phase and that + vanitas obsession made This character design (art circa 2016)

If y’all are familiar with my kh oc’s you might notice that keyblade now belongs to my kid Monty LOL

Anyway that got scrapped quickly for the chip and dale outfit (which is where Ryou’s trademark goggles are from <3) Goggles have been a staple of my character designs for a LONG TIME so like, it had to be done, (that’s a separate ramble about a separate oc tho)

OG Ryou was an interesting guy; he was a young party leader with this overwhelming responsibility on his shoulders bc of his status as a party leader. In his original story, he also struggled heavily with darkness, much like Terra but for Ryou it was more that the darkness was controlling him and not like a source of power like it was for Terra

A big part of early Ryou I kept, however, was the crushing awareness of loss. One of my party members (the strongest one at the time,) had left without saying a word and I was very confused and hurt. This was around the time the ephemera plot was happening so I decided to incorporate it into Ryou’s story; having him experience losing a friend to darkness since it’s so normal for wielders in Daybreak Town to just disappear, and this would unintentionally become a theme for both me and Ryou as khux friends would just randomly disappear.

I was desperate for khux at this point and I decided to watch the fan translations for khx and GOD, god, was I obsessed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the foretellers. And I’m not going off about that here bc I already did that, but I actually started entering fandom again! I did it slowly, I started on tumblr before this blog was made altho it was me sending anons to the few khux related blogs I could have lol a friend convinced me to get twitter where I got involved with the ffxv fandom, which led me to the kh fandom and eventually the khux fandom there which is what REALLY got me going on khux.

I joined discord servers, most of the servers I’m in are khux related, and from there I joined the khux oc rp (shout out to anyone there who might be reading this lol here’s some art from the beginning of the rp,)

It’s SO FUNNY how the RP influenced me so heavily. I hadn’t RP’d in YEARS, I used to have a strict no oc rp policy, but here I was? And the funny part is, I had barely developed Ryou. I had scrapped his original story and all I had was POST WAR Ryou so I literally had to reverse write him; I had only ever written him as a depressed, guilt ridden adult, but it was a fucking blast and I have such fond memories of this rp when it was active,

But anyway, this encouraged me to get more serious about art! I started drawing, writing, cosplaying, and roleplaying when I hadn’t done any of that stuff in a very long time. The first time I ever drew a background was for a deviant art khux competition actually LOL

also! I always think extremely fondly of the drawing I did of Aced in the keyblade war. It was also one of the first backgrounds I ever drew and it felt like my real starting point in the khux fandom. It got a ton of notes on here and someone wrote a tiny fic in a reblog which just made me SO HAPPY like it really felt like people were noticing me :) I was going to draw a matching Ira but!! I just never did!! One day tho, it’s on my art bucket list to redraw this along with Ira,

Aside from my personal growth, khux was great for my social life ngl, I made SO MANY friends online and got to meet a ton of people irl over the years! It’s crazy to think about all the people I now know and talk to? It honestly makes me really emotional. I’ll never forget taking the train into NYC and meeting up with discord friends. Going to conventions and talking with people about the latest khux update? Absolutely insane and those were some GOOD TIMES, if I thanked every khux friend or even just person who made an impact on me then we’d be here for a LONG TIME,

Fun fact, for my Lauriam cosplay all I needed to buy was the wig I just owned his outfit LOL also? Probably retiring that cosplay ngl people treated me like absolute garbage when I wore him and it led to a lot of confidence issues for awhile ngl. That’s probably one of the only memorable negative experiences I have with khux; it was great when khux people recognized me but for kh fans that weren’t in khux? They were FUCKING MEAN??? fuck kh fandom at large, I only care about khux fandom,

This leads me to another huge part of my experience in khux fandom: THEORIES!! I used to write SO MANY and oh my god my brain was so full all the time. It was a huge appeal for me in the fandom; I had been previously writing theory posts in the RWBY fandom and it just migrated over to khux for me lol I had done a ton of theorizing around Lauriam tbh, it was really the only reason I liked his character at all bc initially I did not care about the dandelions, anyone who wasn’t Skuld I was like “please leave Now thanks”

A funny part of khux fandom I never intended to be apart of is the MEMES, I really only started doing memes as stress relief bc college had me so busy all I had time/energy for was these quick little shit post drawings.

The first meme I made, file name “invi despair” LOL we need to get her a girlfriend smh anyway, I think in my senior year of college I did a bunch of rapid fire memes all in one month bc the stress of finals was getting so bad afdgfhdgf as far as I know my impact on this fandom will be my memes bc all I do now is enter a kh/khux server and introduce myself and I go “yeah I draw art. here’s a meme” and everyone goes OH YOU, honestly I am nothing if not a clown

I’ve talked so much idk where I’m going with this. Khux is just a good game even if the gameplay actually kind of really sucks yknow lol but it was the first game I played where I like, REALLY got into the meta and the mechanics. I used to read so much on the mechanics and watch youtube videos on which medals were worth pulling for. I was never a whale or a top player exactly, but I could rank well if I tried lol I’ve made it to the top 100 for solo rankings, my party has made it to top 10, and in pvp I’ve made top 300. I’m not the highest level in my party but FUCK do I know how to manipulate this game LOL

And with all that hard work, the strategies, the theorizing, the content I’ve made-- it’s been my life for 5 years. I’ve logged into khux almost every single day. At the end, I have logged 1820 days in khux out of 1910 days. Kinda crazy. Crazier I’ve never spent money on khux either lol the only “money” gone into it was one time my mom gave me a google play store gift card and I used it on my birthday for a VIP xemnas medal which eventually made it to regular pulls anyway but it was nice and a little treat :)

I’m not a gacha fan, I don’t care for it, so I don’t think I’ll be touching another gacha again. But for kh? This was pretty fucking awesome, even if it sucked a lot sometimes LOL It was worth it for the people I’ve met most of all I think. I would honestly be a completely different person without khux and that’s REALLY insane to think about.

[phoebehalliwell]

ok but let's discuss astrology. like i just made girls natal charts and got a thought. what rising sign would you give to each sister? (lmao their charts like literally witchy and kinda strange, like prue is a scorpio sun and aquarius moon, piper's a leo sun and sag moon, phoebe's a scorpio sun and libra moon, and paige is a leo sun and pisces moon. like... these are very strange. but funny)

!! okay. so. so like many moons ago i started a charmed astrology series that i literally never finished but hey maybe i should finish that where i like. did the girls whole charts. mainly based off vibes i kept the generational signs and the sun signs

which sidebar that ik is gonna be a long enough rant to warrant it's own paragraph but i'm a diehard piper capricorn truther because like in canon we are given not one not two but three whole pieces of conflicting evidence for piper's birthday first being the family tree placing her as a leo in s2 next phoebe's line decreeing her a gemini in s3 and then 3) a whole ass birthday episode in s6 set in january, placing her as either a capricorn or an aquarius. (which, it has been argued. could potentially be in july/august or may/june But. given the timeline with chris's birth take into account and also relativity to wyatt's birthday which is canonically in february. it's p solidly january in my opinion.) anyways so not only am i a capricorn truther because i think it is the best sign for her like everything about her to me reads very strongly earth sign like shure u could argue leo i can see it gemini is really reaching imo i really. i do not see her as a gemini. But. not only am i a capricorn truther because she's a capricorn, i am also a capricorn truther because given the three pieces of evidence, which was the most canon weight: a prop, a quip, or an episode. right??? like. like if we accept the family tree as canon there are literally so many errors there stuff that simply is not canon it was just made by some guy in props prue's birth year is wrong given her past life's death year, grams not only has like a brother like 20 years her jr i'm p sure it also implies she gave birth to patty at age 13 like there is So Much fucked up in that tree (and they never even put paige on there!!!!!!!!!!)

anyways. piper=capricorn. i also did moon sign off vibes just because i prefer it that way but ig these are like. their canon moon signs. given the day/year. i do really like aquarius for prue i love pisces for paige because i feel like it leans into that artist side and really like um. like the fact i think paige really doesn't lean into her moon sign that much i think like you know that whole well of emotions i think it can be very debilitating for her if that gets opened (like what we saw in a paige from the past) so i think kind of her bursts of creativity and her like. she kind of has this sort of bleeding heart when it comes to looking out for people she barely knows i think that really is her moon sign scratching its way to the surface because i really don't think paige like again i don't think she leans into it that much she's not someone who leads with her emotions. for phoebe's libra moon i'm literally just like advice columnist. yeah. if i'm still on my piper capricorn tilt i think the bday i gave her was the 13th, so her moon sign would be taurus. which i also like for her. like her being possessed by gluttony and also her speech to the elders in early s3 in once upon a time where she demands leo back? yeah.

but!! rising signs. starting with prue i think she'd probably have an fire rising sign just given like. like her energy. like in school she was head cheerleader we see constantly throughout the show like her first impressions kick your ass like everyone knows they're looking at a fierce spirit when they first meet her. i would say the ram i'd say prue aries rising. for piper i'm saying cancer rising. to level with you i'm not even considering the other ones she just feels so cancer rising like in high school she was nobody in almost every situation in the early seasons (and honestly sometimes beyond that) people just look at her and go oh. housewife. doormat. i can walk all over her (both douchebag bosses at quake, the like. homeowners association meeting in the s3 episode where the triquetra breaks. the high school reunion ep). but on the more positive side her and leo's early relationship and the really shy dance around each other a sweet puppy love or even why tyler the firestarter first showed up in the house it was piper who was able to put him at ease i'm saying cancer rising. next up on the docket is phoebe who i am going to give a leo rising just because she does always seem to have this (occasionally unwarranted) confidence like she turns heads when she enters a room she has this power this chutzpah that i think only gets further driven up in shallow situations (like what we say with clay her ex-flame from new york i mean, you barely had a spare minute in new york, three jobs just to afford your social calendar type shit) like i think she. yeah. i think she's a leo rising. paige i think i'm gonna give an aquarius rising to paige just because like yes the whole "humanitarian" aspect of the aquarius sign which like. like to level with you. think of all the aquarians you know. humanitarian? how many people would you genuinely describe as humanitarian maybe i just personally have beef with like. aquarian men. just like. in general. but humanitarian? really? it's mainly just guys sucking themselves off to their own ideas about how the world works and assuming that every single other person is like them and that's why society is the way it is and blah blah blah blah i'm sorry this was in college it's a small sample size ik i try not to hate all aquarians. but humanitarian? anyways tho i think if someone were to like actually read humanitarian i think paige is def a candidate but i think what really sells her on the aquarius rising for me is the fact that i think she is really difficult to get a read on (which is another trait i associate w aquarians due to their lack of emotions, as we all know. i'm sorry i'm really gonna hafta go back and find the aquarian who hurt me bc i feel like this is running strangely deep. but i also feel like i'm right so.) but i think paige is like. like, if we look back on almost all of her first introductions (first meeting the sisters, kind of first interactions with leo, first interactions with richard, first interactions with kyle), like. there is something detached there, but like, slightly underneath, this strong desire to help. yeah. <3

[moldy-mold]

life updates and goals

I think after a very low point of my life, like many others, I want to make some big changes this coming year.

Quit Twitter Most notably, I’ve greatly reduced my social media usage. It was sucking up all my happiness and I tied my emotions and friendships to what goes on on the hell site and I realized that it’s just an illusion I’ve created for myself. I started feeling guilty for not commenting/liking and I got jabbed a few times for not interacting enough. So... enough already. Obviously, I still like to draw and I want to share it and talk about the stuff I like but if I don’t have anything to post, I’m just keeping off of it. So if I don’t interact, it’s not because we’re not friends anymore! (And if you have this mindset about your friends then I recommend reevaluating how you use social media as well.)

Draw Less It seems kinda weird to do less of what I love doing but I realized I worked way too hard for the wrong reasons. Why stay up until 5am drawing for strangers on the internet? I will draw precisely when it is right for me.

Engage in Other Hobbies Ugh I have GOT to do other things instead of drawing. I had quit gaming for a while because I had no life outside of drawing and working. I love reading too: books, graphic novels, manga. I recently caught up to Golden Kamuy again after forgetting about it for a while and I am reminded how much I love it. And Webtoons. I’m kind of obsessed with Webtoons now. I’m reading like 10 things at once.

Nail art is something I began pursuing early 2020 so I could do Kratos-themed nails (lmao) for the con that got canceled but I hope to get good at it again.

And finally, to no one’s surprise, I picked up Gunpla building! I don’t think I’ll get more than 2 kits but I have enjoyed learning how it works. I currently have Char’s Zaku and the Zeta Gundam!

Talk to Friends I often fail to initiate contact with people because I feel like I don’t have time to sit and chat when I was drawing so much. I want to change that. It’s important to nourish the relationships you have because when it comes down to it, your followers aren’t going to be there for you - your friends are. I would like to put it out there that I encourage you to DM me. I am happy to say that I’ve made a few wonderful friends because we all got over the fear of “bothering the other person.”

Improve Self Care This is also a budding hobby but I’m starting to get into skincare products. Yeah, that’s a rabbit hole alright. My skin has always been “okay” but then I thought, what if it could be radiant?! I always thought I’d never be able to afford anything outside the drugstore (and even then it can still get expensive) but I’ve been watching this girl’s YT channel and she has some pretty affordable recommendations. She’s young, like 23, and trying to save money lol. I’ll still have to make these birthday gifts to myself tho. T_T

Because of her, I’m starting to understand the appeal of watching Vlogs now?? It began bc I was so fascinated by her skincare regimen and then that led to me wondering what she ate and what she does as a content creator. It really was interesting! And so relatable lol... “staying up all night to edit a video to be posted the next day.” I felt that.

Learn How to Invest This is probably the worst time to be investing but what’s important is learning. I have a lot of free time now so it would be an excellent skill to learn. It seems that it was a thing to learn during your college years so I’m pretty embarrassed to be so far behind... yikes. You want to know know what I was doing during college? Drawing sports anime and playing league of legends.

Get Buff My friends know I’ve been trying to get buff arms for years but I’ve never been able to do it lmao. But I will now. I’ll be changing my lifestyle in hopes I’ll achieve this goal this year. Sleeping earlier, working out more consistently, eating properly, drinking more water. All of these things are naturally good for the body (and skin!) so I want to make it a lifestyle even after I’ve attained my goal.

Get a New Job It’s been my goal since forever, but I feel especially fired up now. Plus if I don’t I’ll probably be in big financial trouble haha......... However, with these life changes, I can properly focus on applying and present a super amazing design portfolio.

Be More Generous When it comes to saving money, I can be pretty annoying and strict. I think it comes from fear/lack of confidence in my future. I want to let go a little and gift more of my friends. They’ll probably be "ok” gifts but it’s better than not doing anything. I also want to support my fellow creators. I must commission someone this year!

Anyway that’s all for now. Thanks for reading / checking on me. I appreciate you!

[angelic-blxssom]

can i request the sfw alphabet for kuroo, kageyama and lev? thank you

———— ꧁꧂ ☘︎︎ sfw alphabet - p1

characters ➪ kuroo, kageyama

authors note ♡︎ so this took waaay longer than expected so I hope you don’t mind that I took out lev (I also don’t know his personality too well but feel free to request him again if you would like his :)

Kuroo Tetsurou ;

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Kuroo is pretty affectionate when it comes to relationships. He most likely will almost always have an arm or a hand on you at all times, he likes to show others that you are his.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’s the humorous yet quite intelligent friend. Kuroo may seem a little aloof soemtimes but he’s actually quite smart. He’d enjoy making you laugh and teasing you quite often.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Yes! Kuroo lovessss to cuddle! Imagine his arms wrapping around your body as you snuggle into his side and the only thing heard is a fan and the two of yours breathing. I’m so lonely

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Kuroo would probably want to settle down but let’s be honest; he probably sucks ass at cooking. Like his forte is volleyball, not cooking food so you’ll probably have to know how to cook at least something.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I really doubt that Kuroo would be the one to break up with someone; but if I had to say something, maybe you don’t like his jokes 😼

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Kuroo wants to settle down and get into a relationship like that but I think he’d struggle with commitment. Kuroo wants to pursue volleyball but if you support him then he’ll have no problem.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s pretty gentle, Kuroo’s hands are calloused and stuff so his grip tends to be tight on you when he’s holding your hand or hugging you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Speaking of hugging you... Kuroo loves hugs! And I mean like; he wants hugs. Desperately. (Probably touch starved but that’s another headcannon) he hugs you alOt.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Kuroo wouldn’t say it immediately because he’d want to get to know you for you but I’d say it wouldn’t take too long for him to say it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Doesn’t get too jealous often but when he does get jealous, it’s all out. Like- making out with you in front of the boy or girl, I don’t judge

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Kuroo loves to kiss your neck, it’s sensual and he also enjoys the noises that escape you when he does. His kisses are definitely passionate; don’t @ me 😾. You love to kiss his nose because it’s the only way to make him blush heavily.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Enjoys children but probably not his favorite thing in the world.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Definitely morning cuddles, like both of y’all still groggy and shit from the sleep and you just lay there in each other’s arms.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

All I gotta say is... sexy time.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

I think that Kuroo tends to be a more private person in general so it would take a little for him to reveal extremely personal stuff about him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s not easily angered but as stated before, he will get extremely angry if jealous (not at you though)

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

I swear, this rooster bitch probably remembers  everything about you. Remember  that one childhood story you told him a year ago, guess what; its still engraved  in his brain!

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When he first said that he loved you, your face was all flushed and your eyes sparkled as you laughed and repeated those words back to him. The worlds that made his heart flutter.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Kuroo is very protective over his s/o. He doesn’t  obsess over protecting you because he knows you can defend yourself  but he takes precautions just in case because sometimes you can be very clumsy.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

I swear to Jesus, this man. THIS MAN. is the embodiment of effort into your relationship. He is always there and has some sort of gift whenever you’re down.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Probably ignoring you, like if he was with friends, Kuroo probably would forget to text you or respond to calls if he was out.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not extremely concerned but Kuroo does enjoy looking handsome for you

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He would be pretty sad but he knows you would want him to move on so he would. In this 10 years tho.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

It’s like 5am and the only thing i can think of is Big Dick Energy, i know this aint sfw. leave me alone 😩

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Sharing you? like romantically. so basically being in a poly relationship because he wants your love all to himself.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Grabbing your thigh when hes asleep. Sometimes you’ll feel a small squeeze as he is dreaming in the middle of the night. It never is sexual tho, just a comforting thing.

Tobio Kageyama ;

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s not extremely affectionate but you do get some good love here and there from this boy

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’s definitely still as quiet and “rude” as he usually is but grows a soft spot for you over time. Will protect you from duded teasing you but then go on to tease you himself.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Doesn’t really like to cuddle but will do it if you ask him. He tends to be kinda stiff while cuddling but definitely gets used to it over time.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Not very good at cooking but I think he’d do good cleaning around the house. Like you cook and he cleans, fair deal right? Anyways, Tobio wants to settle down but after he’s finished with volleyball.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Honestly, he’d get really nervous surprisingly and end up doing it over text.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like before, he enjoys commitment but after he has finished volleyball, otherwise it might distract him from winning.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically, he is pretty gentle to you. Soft touches, slightly soft voice as he speaks to you at the dead of night. Emotionally though, hes a little rough around the edges. Teases you and messes around but he always sounds so serious.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

No. Well kinda. Only hug him when he’s in a good mood, otherwise you aren’t getting a hug.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Not very fast knowing, Kageyama. He would wait a little and you might even have to say it first :0

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He gets jealous pretty easy because you’re the only one that truly understands  him. Kageyama doesn’t do much, he just kinda pouts in the corner silently.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He has soft yet slight rough kisses, just like his personality hehe. He likes to kiss your lips because its classic and likes the feel of it. Kageyama enjoys being kisses on the temple because, it makes him feel better from whatever he was worrying about.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Not good. Please don’t bring him around children unless its your own.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Kageyama is up early for volleyball so you see him very little but definitely some soft kisses before he leaves.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

If you ask, he will wrap you gently in his arms and have you listen to his heartbeat as you both fall asleep in the moonlight.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Kageyama doesn’t reveal to much of himself until like a year of dating? He thinks it’s very personal  but you have a right to know as his s/o so he doesn’t mind as much.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

I mean... he’s angered pretty easily lmaO. thats my TED talk.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tends to forget things at time but always remembers the important stuff, like birthday, family, favorite food, etc;

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first game you attended of his. They were against another school and he was getting sLigHtly worried but when he saw you in the audience, BOOM confidence booster and boy did he love it.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Kageyama is pretty protective but probably doesn’t care if you are gone and don’t tell him because he’s not THAT protective.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Like volleyball, Kageyama puts in alot of effort to the relationship; not as much as Kuroo but still alot. He puts in work for anniversaries and gifts but since dates are pretty often, not much effort there.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Being rude to you, like ignoring you on purpose or getting mad for you doing little things wrong. I don’t make the rules, sorry 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Doesn’t really care about his looks in front of you cause you love him anyways.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Pretty incomplete, like he was numb before but now he’s a robot. BEEP BOOP Kageyama. ok i’m sorry. but seriously, he’s lost without his half to keep him steady.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

This little- probably hates spiders and makes you kill them for him. He’s a damn baby at times so be warned.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Get extremely  sexual in front of others; like no sexy touching him or you in front of his teammates . it makes Kageyama a little uncomfortable.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Stealing all the blankets from you and then when you wake him up to say you’re cold, he’ll pull you into his arms to radiate the heat.

[madexinxheaven]

@whoxyouxhate​ said: 🚼 - Does your character have or want kids? @ the mains

“I always figured it would happen eventually.”

Caitlyn’s affections to the idea of motherhood are born first from her family life; Being an only child to two VERY loving parents. And second from the mess that had become of the slums. From saving Vi and taking her in as her partner in the L.G.D to the lab experiments and kids saved INADVERTANTLY when she was just tryna rescue her parents... Caitlyn has and always will have a soft spot for kids. I mean, how could she NOT with memories of her mom rocking her on the way from Victoria? With memories of her dad teaching her how to shoot? With memories of them getting her very first RIFLE at eighteen? How could she NOT want to do that herself? For her own kids? Of course, nowadays, Jayce has disillusioned her to the idea. But maybe if she’d ever be able to find a love that DIDN’T burn out...

“Maybe there’s still time...”

“Me? Kids? I... Can’t say I’ve really thought about it...?” 

Honestly, she still felt like a big kid herself. Exusiai’s outlook on LOVE & LIFE was still very bubbly and immature, founded on hypermania and sociopathy. Sure, she was CARING & OPTIMISTIC ENOUGH, and would likely be good in the role of a caregiver. But... But could she actually be a FULL-TIME MOM? Honestly, she wouldn’t even know where to start. The idea made her feel SUFFOCATED. Fears that she’d grow BORED or FRUSTRATED or that she’d inevitably come upon a bridge she didn’t know how to CROSS. Oh, God, what if her kid needed ADVICE? What would she do then? Heart palpitations were going crazy at this point. God, there were no VACATIONS in motherhood. And no adventure either. And WAAAAAY too much responsibility. 

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m ready to think about that kinda thing...”

“W-Wait... You... Isn’t it a little too EARLY to be talking about KIDS?”

Makoto was still very much a kid herself. A fact her elder sibling seemed so determined to DRILL into her head. Freshly graduated and still in training for her DREAM JOB. Not to mention looking after her own big sister and being essentially still dependent on the older woman for stability and shelter. Yeah, Makoto really did NOT have enough years in her yet to open her mind to the possibility of being a mother. But maybe in time she could. Maybe she could pass down her Buchimaru collection? That’d be kinda cute, huh? But now was SO NOT THE TIME to think of that kinda thing. first she had to finish her training and actually prove to Sae Niijima that Makoto COULD make a career out of being an Inspector for the Lungmen Guard Department. Then and only then could she worry about everything else. Like...

“Whether I have kids or not, I won’t end up like my father...”

“Kids? What kinda crazy fuck would find the balls to ask that?”

Swire was, in every sense of the word, a SPOILED BRAT. She also just so happened to be one of Lungmen’s proudest patriots. And, despite all appearances, the girl took her role as Superintendent VERY seriously. At least, as seriously as one could with friends like Hoshiguma, Yushia, and CH’EN HUI-CHIEH. The girl had all the money in the world and no time to spend it. Not to mention all the bad run-ins she’d had with every single parents in this Godforsaken city. Lin was kinda cool, tho. But that HARDLY counted. Honestly, Swire just didn’t wanna end up like her Granddaddy. Didn’t wanna end up TERRORIZING her kids. Raising yet another generation of herself, Ch’en, Talulah and Yuhsia. Hadn’t they themselves been through enough? Wasn’t it about time those kinda tragedies came to an end? Way Swire saw it, if she could stay kids with the people around her? (As kiddy as they had done, at least.) Then that in and of itself would be a HAPPY ENDING.

“Yeahhh, look, here’s the thing: Adults suck. And I’m not about to be the villain in another kid’s story.”

“There are two necessities in this world. Good parents. And people to protect them.”

What a foolish question. What a foolish question, born of IGNORANCE and DISPARITY. Honestly, it was such a perfect exhibition of how MISALIGNED their realities were. Their outlooks on the world, cold and grey as it had always been. Talulah had been daughter to MANY a father. And yet, all of them, without fail, had fallen short of protecting her. And of the few who hadn’t abused her? Well, they themselves had no one to protect THEM from abuse. Such was life. The world had been allowed to turn for far too long without change. The corrupt held a MONOPOLY on FATE. And the poor pawns were crushed beneath them. Talulah had seen this countless times with her own two eyes to a point where she could no longer tell the DIFFERENCE. Perhaps, at one point, she had indeed wanted children. Perhaps, that girl in the photo, smiling as she clung to the shoulders of her EMOTIONALLY-ERRANT SISTER... Perhaps SHE could’ve been a mother. Perhaps she WANTED TO BE. But that girl was DEAD. And while Talulah’s name remained. She now knew, deep down, just what role she had to play in this terrible, GODFORSAKEN, world...

“...Some people are meant to have kids... But I’m not one of them...”

“Hah! Holy shit, you’re stupid. What kinda fucking question is that?”

Still despite all outward appearances, the question seemed to DISTURB something deep inside W’s chest. One that could very well have kept her up at night. For as long as memory held, she’d been holding STEADFAST to this story that she couldn’t even remember her own BIRTHDAY. Whether or not that was true was NO ONE’s BUSINESS except her own. But it did perhaps hold the first clue of what drove W forward as a person; Seemingly rushing toward the future with a CACKLING LAUGH, CRACKLING DYNAMITE, and a tendency to DESTROY rather than to CREATE, W definitely seemed to have far more to her than she’d ever let anyone know. And as for where children and normalcy fit into that story? Reality was... They really COULDN’T. Even if she wanted them. Even if she wanted love. Which she’d swear up and down ‘til it killed her that she DIDN’T, there was still a matter of fact that... She WAS a criminal. She WAS a terrorist. She WAS a MURDERER. And yet she was still so far away from her goals she couldn’t even BEGIN to think emotionally. 

“Have you even met me? I don’t think you’ve met. You can call me W. Now, please, fuck off.”

“Kids...? Hm. That’d be nice, huh?”

A novel idea and gentle question, if asked with a little TOO MUCH optimism. Yuhsia used to be like that at one point. So it wasn’t like she could hold it against the other. But the simple fact was... Yuhsia may just have been the furthest away from having kids than ANY of the above. And that was ESPECIALLY IRONIC considering she’d already had names picked out for her and Ch’en’s babies. Okay, that wasn’t ENTIRELY true. Look, she was a kid back then, okay? She had a stupid. Childish. Crush. Like, come on, people back then wanted to be SPACE ELVES and HEROES and CAT BURGLARS. None of ‘em actually meant it... Right? The name’s were Ryoko and Kuma, by the way. Which weren’t terrible creative, considering they literally stemmed from “Dragon” and “Mouse” respectively. (What? They were PRETTY!!) But those days were long past. Yuhsia was a GROWN UP NOW. She’d let go of those SILLY notions and that STUPID crush. And those sad reminders of what USED TO BE. (Used to?) And long come to terms with the fact that... Well...

“But let’s be honest here. If I have kids at this point. It’ll just be so father doesn’t run out of heirs...”

[lucielovekj]

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Tagged by: @queenofnothing07 (thank you! I enjoy these) (under the cut since it’s kinda long)

Name/Nickname: Lucie

Gender: Woman? I guess? My gender is always a point of internal contention for me lmao

Star Sign: Aries 🔥

Height: 5'5 I THINK

Time: 8pm approximately

Birthday: 26th March 🌸

Favorite Bands: (OKAY I’m always super nervous to talk about music I like, because I know celebs generally suck, and I don’t follow or care about any of them I literally just care about music so...idk bare that in mind 😅) I listen to a lot of standard pop-punk bs like fall out boy, Panic! At the Disco, Paramore, All Time Low, P!nk, icon for hire, the occasional Bastille (sorry lol) if an emo teen would like it I’m probably into it. My fav band for a lot of my life is/was a small English band called The Hoosiers! I will listen to just about anything though, it’s very varied

Favorite Solo Artists: MARINA!! Melanie Martinez, I loved Emilie Autumn as a kid, and I enjoy the whole “half-written story” EP by Hailee Steinfeld, who I know nothing about but she’s apparently Emily Dickinson in Dickinson. I’m also loving Britney, both her music and just as a person

Song Stuck in My Head: Um.........the death note musical soundtrack. It was one of my weird quarantine discoveries. I’ve never even seen the anime.

Last Movie: Muppet Family Christmas (on Boxing Day)

Last Show: Currently watching last years Bake Off

When Did I Create This Blog: 4th of Jan 2014, apparently!

What Do I Post: um, I guess mostly disney, some Barbie, some MLP, some Avatar, and a decent amount of complaining (and gay shit)

Last Thing I Googled:...................Macklemore

Other Blogs: I have a Sims one, which I use to catalogue all the CC I’m using, and my art blog (obvs), and a scarcely used gay disney blog called sapphicdisney

Do I Get Asks: occasionally? Not really since I turned anon off because of that one anti-harlivy anon

Why I Chose My URL: WELL, back in my very early teens i was really into Emilie Autumn and gothic-Victorian-esque aesthetics, I changed how I spelt my name online and chose the “love” because I felt it had that kind of vibe...it still fits well bc I’m super into lovecore and honestly I just like how it looks (and the KJ is just my other 2 initials)

Following: 933 (so few???)

Followers: 1,561

Average Hours of Sleep: either 3 or 11 there’s no in-between

Lucky Number: 🤔🤔🤔 2

Instruments: none 😭 I’ve tried many times, but circumstance got in the way. As a kid I wanted to play piano (like Beth from Little Women lmao) but we couldn’t afford it. I love to sing tho! But I’m too shy to sing in front of people

What I’m Wearing: Christmas penguin pjs

Dream Job: Literally anything art related tbh! Although my goal pre-lockdown was working in a Morphe store, bc I have a love for fun eyeshadow

Dream Trip: Paris for as long as I want. I’ve been once, but only for a few days, and I want a few days just to look round the Louvre! And then the Disneyland!

Favorite Food: instant noodles & pizza

Nationality: White & English

Favorite Song: they change all the time so here’s a few current favs! Your Name Hurts by Hailee Steinfeld, Beautiful Trauma by P!nk, All You Wanna Do from Six the Musical, All Men Are Pigs by Studio Killers, Karma & To Be Human by Marina, Dangerous to Dream from Frozen Broadway. That was a lot sorry.

Last Book I Read: God it’s been a while...I read book 1 of Harley Quinn: Rebirth in October, but the last actual book I finished was Will my Cat Eat my Eyeballs by Caitlin Doughty (who I LOVE) which is a collection of questions and answers about death and dying 💕

Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Live In: I used to desperately want to live in the Harry Potter universe but I’ve pretty much purged that from my life now. I guess I’d like to be a princess in a Disney universe or a classic Barbie movie. OR the DC universe where I could go full balls to the wall insane and have a whole supervillain theme that I use to cope with my tragic backstory.

As for tagging, I’d love to see any of my mutuals do this if you feel like it, but no obligation!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #280

“this is the place in our mind with a crooked crown / we came to execute its own perfect shutdown”

Do you have a strong local accent? No. Do you prefer green or red grapes? Red, but either is fine so long as they’re crisp. Can you stand on your hands unassisted? pffff Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door? Pizza guy. How old were you when you last went trick or treating? No idea. Have you ever been bobbing for apples? ”No. That’s a gross game lol you’re dipping your head and mouth into water other people are dipping their head and mouth into.” <<<< This. What’s your most expensive piece of clothing? No clue. What’s the last thing you took a picture of? Guys I actually took a selfie bc for once in my goddamn life, I felt really pretty with the makeup Summer did on me. She's working towards a degree in cosmetology and is so talented with it. What’s the last thing you drew a picture of? A meerkat pup. Have you ever been on a pogo stick? Omg, yes. I got one for I think Christmas one year as a kid and I got SO into it. I learned how to do it really well. Can you down a pint (of anything) in one? Probably not without throwing up. Have you ever been banned from a public place? No. Have you ever been in a newspaper? A couple times, I think. I know once in elementary school for when I was in chorus; we went somewhere for a small Christmas show. Then I believe I was in it for another school thing? Idr. What football team do you support? I don’t care for football or sports in general. What did you want to be when you grew up? My phases included paleontologist, vet, movie director, author, game designer, aaaand I know I’m forgetting one. But my current and long-term goal has been to become a photographer. Being an artist as a free time “job” has always been an aspiration, too. Have you ever tie-dyed your own clothes? In school, yeah. How often do you buy new clothes? Very rarely. Usually just around Christmas or my birthday from gift cards I get. Are you reliable? In some ways yes, in other ways no. Are you proud of yourself? No. If you could ask your future self one question what would it be? If she’s ended up happy. Do you hold grudges? Nah. Do you decorate the outside of your house for Christmas? Mom does pretty much last minute, but only sometimes when looking at the past few years. Can you solve sudoku puzzles? Sure, they’re fun. What’s the most unusual conversation you've ever had? Who knows. Are you much of a gambler? Not at all. I don’t fuck around with money, especially when just $5 makes you feel great. Have you ever been to Disneyland? I’ve been to Disney World. Do you sing in the shower? Very rarely. Almost never now that I don’t play music while I’m in there. As a child did you ever suck your thumb or fingers? I mean probably? I do know I loved my pacifier and was SO upset when Mom’s doctor or someone playfully told me I was gonna have to give it up because my upcoming baby sister would want to steal it, and guess what? Nicole never fucking used a pacifier so I was tilted lmao. What time do you usually go to bed? Lol BRO it can be as early as 7 PM on bad depression days to as late as like, 2-3 AM. I’d say the average time is like… 9:30. What's your favorite animal? MEERKATS hngggggggggggggggg Have you ever been in marching band? No. Do you have any enemies? No? At least I don’t consider anyone to be. Have you ever been a cheerleader? As a kid, Mom wanted me to so I could do something with my sisters, who were actually interested in cheerleading. She certainly didn’t force me to or anything, I just agreed to it despite not being into it. We were with this Christian sports group for a long time doing various sports all the while being taught lessons in Christlikeness. I’ve actually got warm memories of it Did you ever date anyone on the football team? No. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No, not that I’m against the idea tho. The plushy would just have to be very special to me and also comfortable to hold. How many consecutive days have you ever missed of school? I missed an entire week when I learned about Mom’s cancer. I could barely function. With how much school stressed me, I would NOT have managed. Have you ever been pregnant? No, not in my to-do list. When was the last time you wanted to speak out, but couldn’t? I’m sure it was recently over Facebook; most times, I keep my mouth shut over political things on there that might get me fired up because I’m afraid of confrontation. Are fingerless gloves awesome? I love them. Wore them daily in high school. I still have some of my favorites, though I’m doubtful they still fit my hands… Would you rather be cannibalistic or die in the wilderness? Okay so I’m gonna actually go kinda in-detail, so the squeamish be warned. Realistically, I think I’d choose to die. ESPECIALLY if I was the one expected to kill another person; then, there’s no question. I wouldn’t be able to do it either if I knew the person. If it was some stranger someone else killed and cooked, I don’t know with absolute certainty; starvation really can make animals out of people. I do know for sure I’d vomit. I far more heavily lean into still preferring to die, because I just believe some things aren’t worth living after they’ve been committed. I’d hate myself. I’d rather die feeling clean of conscience. Would you survive on a deserted island? Hell no. Have you dyed your hair eccentric colors in the past? Yeah, I want to do it far more often… What size drink do you usually get at fast food restaurants? Medium, sometimes small. What do you think is the best thing in life? Love, both platonic and romantic. Have you ever sold anything online either on Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, etc.? If not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things? We sold our previous dog over Craigslist, and I sold my iguana there as well. I know Mom has used eBay and Amazon, but idk for what. Have you ever seen an animal give birth? Have you ever had a pet give birth before? I’ve seen old pet cats give birth many times. What is something you want to try to accomplish within the next year? I want a job that I’m content with and can mentally handle. Oh, and I REALLY want to make strong progress on recovering from the muscle atrophy in my legs. What’s the most unusual kind of pizza you’ve ever tried? I have no clue; I’m not that adventurous with pizza or food in general. If you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it? GOTHIC AS A MOTHERFUCKER WELCOME TO THE GOTDAMN ADDAMS FAMILY. What’s one of your favorite things to touch/feel? My cat. :’) How often do you wear tights? Ew, never. Has there ever been anything you’ve become interested in much later than other people? I guess Instagram, but only as a viewer. I don’t have a personal one, just for my photography that I only rarely post. Have you ever had a veggie burger? Yeah, during my vegetarian streak. Burger King’s really aren’t that bad so long as the patty is made well. Do you like candles? Yeah, sure. When was the last time you wore a sports bra? Forever ago when I was doing Wii Fit. Where did you get the shirt you’re currently wearing? I think Hot Topic? It’s an oversized Umbreon shirt. Who last messaged you on Facebook? My friend Summer when we were planning our lil witch photoshoot w/ friends. Who last walked you home? lol you don’t just have someone “walk you home” here. Bundles of homes are way too far and in-between for reasonable walking distance. Did you make any new friends lately? If so, what are their names and how did you meet them? Not really recently, no. Would you rather see your favorite band/artist in concert with 2 other people or have a free $20,000 shopping spree to Walmart? Seeing Ozzy with my mom would be a DREAM, but to be realistic, I’d take the shopping spree pretty damn quickly. $20k? That would do WONDERS for us, especially as we’re about to move into a new place. When was the last time you threw up and why did you? A long time ago when I started a new medication. Do you want revenge on the person who has hurt you the most? … I’m gonna be REAL honest. For the most part, no. But ngl there are times I’m like “I’m gonna work on getting back in shape and become H O T” like a petty bitch lmao this is embarrassing to admit. Has anyone ever claimed that you saved their life? Yes. Did you ever have that near-drowning experience? No. Have you ever performed on stage? For dance, yes, but I never did a solo. Are you a jealous person? Not jealous (usually), but I’ve come to realize I’m a pretty envious piece of shit. Morning person or night person? I’m in my best mood in the morning because I have the “it’s a fresh start” ideology. Then I repeat exactly what I did the day before. :^) Have you ever written a poem for someone? Numerous times. Do you meditate? No, but I wish I could without it only causing more stress. Do you like cranberries that they serve for Thanksgiving? EW I hate cranberries. What don't you understand that frustrates you? Finances. Do you plan on going to college? I’ve tried college three times and dropped out each time. I’m done trying with school. Do you believe the governments hide technology and information from the public? AbsoFUCKINGlutely. Which is your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales! What horror fiction character scares you the most? What’s the name of the villain in the Scream series? Ghostface? I don’t feel like looking it up, but he TERRIFIED me as a kid, and I still think he’s mega creepy. Were you part of the Brownies/Cubs/Scouts/Guides etc? I was in Girl Scouts. Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink? No. Do you have any family secrets? Don’t think so. Do you often read your horoscope? Never. They’re bullshit. Have you ever had a proper Tarot reading? No; also bullshit. Have you ever milked a cow? No. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? They’ve always scared me because I’m afraid of throwing up. Now with how dizzy I get, I absolutely refuse to try one because I WILL faint with all the movement. What’s your favorite sportswear brand? idc Who’s your favorite superhero? Does Deadpool count? Who’s your favorite villain/baddie? If we’re still in the comics/superhero universe, the Joker. Have you ever won a giant-sized cuddly toy from a fair? No. What would you say is your favorite album of all time? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne. I fucking adore it; it was my introduction to metal, and still after all this time, every track S L A P S. I deadass played that CD so much that it scratches at a few points. Do you dislike hairy people? lol fuck this question. I’m guessing you’re asking if I find them attractive and not as if people I “dislike” them, but in both cases, it’s no. We’re mammals, who the fuck cares how hairy you are. Do you like your own name? I actually do really like my name. My first one, anyway. Would you ever sign a Prenuptial agreement? NOPE. Want one? You’re gonna have to find someone else willing to, my man. How long has your longest ever phone call been? No less than two hours, but I know more. I have three instances in particular where I talked with either friends or Jason for SO long. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Hell no. What is your family Christmas like? Nicole comes here so she and I open presents with Mom, then we spend the day at my older sister’s to be with the kids. We also try to squeeze visiting Dad in there the same day, but sometimes it has to be a different one. If you met a genie who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for? (more wishes does not count) Just three is hard… but #1 is indisputably world peace, and then uhhhh the end of poverty and maybe the cure for cancer. I’d have a super hard time picking a third; so many things matter to me. Have you ever had your national flag painted on your face? No, not in my plans. Do you have any strange body things? Well, define “strange,” I guess? Nothing like, really strange. What fairy tale character would you most associate with? Can I be Snow White and attract cute critters like moths to a flame? Also I would 100% take a Good apple. If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing? It would depend on the person and our bond, really. Is there a cherished song between us? What is our relationship like? There’s no umbrella song I can think of. Is your dad an embarrassing dancer? GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! My sister’s wedding, okay? Father/daughter dance? He actually has MOVES and it was incredible man, never gonna forget that. What if any unusual objects have you swallowed? Nothing, I think. If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went? Hell naw, man. There are plenty of great, affordable places in all categories. I could be a millionaire and you’d still see my ass in McDonald’s ordering a burger and fries lmao. Have you ever owned a slinky? My sisters and I had multiple as kids; those were d o p e. Teenage parents, good, bad, or indifferent? An AWFUL idea. A teenager is physically, most likely financially, and mentally unprepared to raise a child properly. It can seriously affect the kid, and of course the parent. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken? I’m unsure. Pirate downloads, good or bad? It’s bad… yet plenty (myself included) have/do do it. Democracy, good or bad? Good. It’s very important to me that rule should come from the people’s majority versus a small coalition of rich guys. While the majority is not always right, it seems like the best option to me. Communism, good or bad? Okay so to be totally honest I actually don’t entirely understand what communism outlines. Like I just read multiple definitions and small articles and I’m still kinda like “????”, though judging by the countries listed as those governed by communism, I would guess it’s bad? Have you ever been electrocuted? On an electric fence, but it wasn’t too bad. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender? Yeah. The war in Iraq, good or bad? Get the fuck out of it. To start with, I’m a pretty fierce pacifist, and just… killing and killing and killing for YEARS is so goddamn pointless and is just a massacre. The war in Afganistan, good or bad? jfc ^ Have you ever appeared on YouTube? LET’S NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS lmfao Have you ever eaten anything prepared by a celebrity chef? No,, but that’d be dope. Have you ever been on radio? No. Do you prefer male or female singers voices? ”Their gender doesn’t matter, but their talent does.” <<<< Do you have a list of things to do before your ‘x’ years old? Goals should not be judged by age. I’m bad at this and have to remind myself of it a lot. A goal is a goal regardless of a number. Celebrate for *you*. Are you proud, comfortable or ashamed of your body? Very very much ashamed. Do you know html? Super poorly. Have you ever flown first class? lol hunny What are better, violins or pianos? Violins. How old is your oldest blanket? As old as me. My baby blanket is stored somewhere. Do you take enough vacations? lol hell no. I’ve maybe gone on three vacations in my entire life. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? Yup. Then one time I was recovering from a wicked stomach virus but went to Olive Garden anyway lol. I was fine though, and it’s actually a sweet memory because Jason (he worked there at the time) got the staff to do the whole “happy birthday” thing. I got a bombin’ brownie. Who is your favorite person? Sara and my mom. What do you do to stay healthy? lol you assume I’m healthy. What is your favorite form of exercise? Swimming. Do you like going to church? I never did. As a kid, I would cry when/if Mom decided we were going to mass after Sunday school lmao. It’s always been boring and too long to me, even when I was religious. Have you ever fallen asleep during a sermon? Probably as a kid. Do you like to pray for others? No. I don’t believe anyone hears them or will intervene somehow if I ask anyway. Have you ever witnessed a miracle? No. I don’t think I believe in those anyway. Have you ever been the recipient of a miracle? Definitely not. How did you or whoever come up with the name(s) for your pet(s)? I thought “Roman” was a majestic name for a male cat, and Venus has the coloration that the planet does. Who did you last walk a dog with? Sara and I walked Buster the last time I was there. It was windy as SHIT so we didn’t get far because my ass was absolutely freezing, all the while Sara was used to it. Ride bikes with? Wow, good question. I haven’t ridden a bike in many, many years. Hold hands with? My friend Summer did yesterday when she was trying to reassure me of something. For what reason did you last high five someone? Ryder and Aubree each caught Pokemon in Pokemon GO. :’’’’) I was watching them in the car while my sister/their mom was doing something at work, and they wanted to play it; they’ve come to learn that between my phone and DS, I’m the Pokemon provider, lol. I was the proudest fucking aunt ever bc they did SO GOOD after getting the hang of throwing the ball like Y’ALL. When Ash came back to the car, I gave ‘em each high fives before getting back in. What color and type is your vehicle? Don’t have my own car. Looking to upgrade or add any time soon? I doubt I’ll have my own soon. What animal do you have the most possessions *of*, or featuring? Like, décor or stuffed animals, things like that? Not the actual living creature? Easily meerkats, holy shit do I have a collection. What do you use to wash your dishes? Gain soap. Last thing you measured? Uhhh idk. Last thing you weighed? Myself. Last song you danced to? *shrug* What do you remember from your dream last night? I just remember it was a nightmare about Dad being angry. How old were you when you got your first credit card? Lol I don’t have one. Do you talk to your parent(s) [almost] every day? Mom, yes. Dad, no, because we don’t live together. What does your shampoo and conditioner smell like? I just started using a Dove brand shampoo targeting dandruff, so I don’t think it has a specific smell. I don’t use conditioner, just adds grease to your hair, plus mine is short anyway. Last person to tell you that you smell good? Idk. Last person you told that they smell good? I also don’t know. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I’ve never touched it. Last person you ran into unexpectedly? Ummm idr. How many plants can you see right now? There’re none in my room. Last compliment you received on your appearance? HA On your character/personality? That I was a loving sister. Do you remain friends with anyone you met at your first job? N/A Who have you hugged in the past month? My mom, Summer, sisters, niece and nephew, Dad… Newest musical discovery? 3TEETH is great. Like, I'm obsessed. Their cover of “Pumped Up Kicks” snagged my attention, despite actually being iffy about it at first. Guess what I’m listening to this minute lmao. Last thing you cleaned? A cup. What exactly do you carry around all your stuff in? A purse. What do you carry around, typically? Phone, keys, wallet, hand sanitizer, and my iPod are items of note. Where is your newest scar? It’s on the palm of my left hand from Roman playing with me. Where is your oldest scar? Idk. Last thing you disposed of? The milk carton. What was the last picture someone sent you? Mom sent me a gif from Hocus Pocus to fit the witch photoshoot Summer, her friend, and I did. Did you hear a siren today? No. What do you typically drink? I would rather not pretend I tend to drink soda lmao Last bad news you heard? My aunt’s brother committed suicide a couple days ago. Last good news you heard? I don’t really know. How far away is the closest cinema from your house? It’s like, 15-ish minutes away. Have you ever been to the emergency room? Many times. Are you one of those people who can’t go without their morning coffee? Y’all know me and coffee. But in place, I have my morning Mountain Dew, rip in fucking pieces. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No, though I’m honestly curious what I’d look like. Do you know the story of how your parents met? If so, tell me? They were coworkers; that’s all I know. What is your favorite Chinese food? I love pork fried rice. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my Mom. I live around 20 minutes or so away from Dad. What was the last hot food you ate? I’m assuming you mean spicy as opposed to just hot as in temperature. In that case, probably hot wings. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. Describe your current position: I’m lying down in bed, just kinda perked up by my two pillows. Have you used a microwave today? Yes; I had a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl. Do you prefer going out for coffee or brewing your own? N/A Have you consumed caffeine today? If so, in what form? yikes- Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? Not that I know of. Have you killed a bug this week? Yes; we’re dealing with a lovely mix of gnats and fleas. What was the first food you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. Or maybe pancakes with Mom’s assistance. Idr. Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? No. How many email accounts do you have? Two. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I like my mom to be with me. How long is your average shower? 15 minutes, maybe? It depends on the routine I feel like doing. When’s the last time you had a headache? Yesterday. What woke you up this morning? I think I woke up naturally? A rare occasion nowadays. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Summer, yesterday.

[squeiky]

This is kinda a rant about my day and my birthday, moms, and shit so like, ya'll be warned.

I got to hang out with my friend today :)

Its the best before birthday party ever!!

Which is funny, beacuse i usually always enjoy the day before my birthday, and not the day of my birthday xDDD

There was this huge wind that knocked out almost everything on out picnic table xD I BLAME THE PLANES!! THE GIANT METAL BIRDS IN THE SKY! ):O!

And we biked everywhere!! We where so tired xD so we sat down and talked about stuff (but i cant tell you what we said.)

It was a very fun day.

We even watched some tick tocs.

Now tomorrow.. Is my actually birthday. I am not so hyped for that.

I have had a few nice birthday days, but as far as i can remember I only had 2 soo..

Yeah....

I prefer my before birthday days anyways.

Im so tired from all the biking and walking and my mom brought way to much food and drinks...

Ughh and tomorrow i gotta wake up early?! Seriously??! On a birthday?!

Apparently i have to go to church, to pray to god or what not.

The thing is, im not that much of a religious kid. I don't hide it either.

And im pretty sure this is either another one of her get together with her friends or... My one friend that could come over :>

Most likely her friends, and not mine... Not that i dont mind it, but im tired, and my stamina is completely demolished.

And everytime i go to place that has alot of people, indoors, in a place i am unfamilar in..

I get a panic attack. Especially now, during the pandemic and isolation.

My mom made to go to church before, and we had to do all these things, and i dont like it, i panicked untill it was over and most people where gone...

The only thing i like about the whole thing is its lovely echo, and its music(its really a lovely composition, i admire the hard work and talent that's put into these things. A lot of stuff like this gets over looked by many. I don't care if its a gift from God, that shit is a gift and should be appreciated and not overlooked.) Other than that, i wish i just stayed home...

Like, I really don't want to do all these things.

I injured my freaking leg, and im pretty sure im slowly harming myself more and more freuently-

(I had a flipping panic when i didn't hand in a assignment in on the assigned time, despite my teacher giving a heads up that I could chill on it as long as its handed in- what makes you think i can handle 30 people, im a giant ass house of singing and preaching for a few minutez?)

Im super salty about waking up early tho qwq...

I should be happy that I had this cool birthday, but I REEALLY just want alone time.

And i know a little girl is coming tomorrow to my party, and her parents practically just hand em too me, cause im good with kids..

But like, im drained. Super drained. Im probably gonna be hella sore too.

God i hate my birthday day, so im just gonna rant/vent about it here.

I know im going to get distracted, or excited, and the adrenalin kicks in and i end up not feeling a single pain or ache in my body.

But I swear, adrenalin will not heal my mental/emotional health that is slowly depleting. And i have fun yeah, but like im growing tired in the end.

Its fun, but I don't get anything out of it.

And the more i think about it, the more i dislike a lot of things.

My mom sucks, she sucks alot.

Man, shes quite the abusive person. But you can never tell. The only way you can is by how i turned out, or what my dad would tell you. (My dad is a good man. I love my dad he is the best. Mom just uses him as a way to "send me away" when im "too much for her.")

And im always panicking when she's near the little girl, that i play with. (She wonderful, and very sweet.)

My mom has told her the terrible things she told me when i was little. The things that made me so anxious and shifty.. Depressive and well... Not in a good state of mind. (I'll just sugar coat that one.)

One of the reasons why i hate my birthdays so much.

It started getting worse the more i grew older, and the more i started to learn about her. And i really dont like her, but if she knew that, we'd argue the same way we have been doing for years of my life. And she would kick me out.

So you see why i hate my birthday days.

Every birthday i dont spend with her? Well its the best time of my life. And im not even kidding on this one.

Im still salty on that one birthday, she invited all her friends, and they ordered a cake i couldn't eat. And kept pestering me to eat it. I moved on from it, i dont bring it up anymore. But im still fucking salty.

And i probably would have ate it too. But the flavor was just..not for me. And the texture?! Come on. Im pretty sure i was just picky that day, or it was an accident but i swear-

I dont even know the diffrence between friendly "check ups" and un friendly "check ups".

Y'know, the ones where its like "aww they are sleeping how cute i love them! "

And

" im gonna bust this door open and slap your ass beacuse you where awake for too long."

I remeber when I was little, she pulled my hair, and fucking smashed my goddamn phone cause she was "mad at me for staying up late"

She had fucking sex in the bed RIGHT NEXT TO MINE- and then lied about it. Bro i was tramutized.

It was with the fucking landlord, where the hell was my mom's mind set when i was younger?! That dude was a total creep, and he smelled like shit! Sex is stinky and i don't like it. (I was fucking 12, what do you expect? I had pillows to block my back so i couldn't look back and see that. But i woke up to this shit, like man im still tramatized. WE ARE IN THE SAME BEDROOM MOM, WTF?! IM FUCKING 12!)

I hate the house now. I don't like walking there either. Im glad we moved. (Bad memories. Always bad memories there. I don't know what the fuck my mom was going through, but she sure as hell took it all on me, i was messed up every since then. Man, i wasn't even emo, i was just some 12 yr old kid would looks out windows dramatically crying beacuse it was my only coping mechanism, and it made me feel better watching the sunsets and looking at trees.)

Man, I hate a lot of things don't i? I have this unrelenting anger, and im so glad i dont use it as horribly as my mom does, and instead used it too better myself and use it like an extra power source beacuse anger is a fuel that is uncontrollable but under the right circumstances can be be used wisely and become very nicely controlled. And i learned to control it. :) well, as good as i can of course.

I forget that I've been arguing my whole life.. So thats why im so good at having *intellegent* arguements.

Fucking expirence.

God damit mom.

I have to show u goddamn books in order for you too understand why black lives matter, or how to not scare tiny 3 or 4 yr olds about how the man down stairs will cut their tounges or how you make deals that never benefit me and i just get manipulated over and over again untill i find a way out of the loop, or why i need privacy and space in my life-

So yeah basically, im done.

I gotta sleep or else shes gonna bust in here and do shit.

[pierregasly]

You okay? You haven’t been very active last days

Awe, thanks for asking. It’s kinda a bit long but here it goes.

Pretty much in April my ex broke up with me over the phone during quarantine literally just throwing away the whole future we had planned because he’s chosen without mentioning it to be at all to go to a different country for Uni and he wanted to have “a fun summer” without depression of having us both saying goodbye. We’d been dating for fifteen months, talking for sixteen and it was a really really passionate relationship with a lot of high emotion from both parties. However, a lot of high emotion leads to volatility which is why the last six months of our relationship was really toxic and brought my mental health down to a point where I had so much anxiety I went down from 46 to 41 kilos just purely because of not eating due to stress.

Moving on, our relationship became sorta toxic because of my ex. He has a huge ego, is very competitive and we’re both really into debating. He started to make everything a competition between us and he would go off on the smallest things. Like he would call be every hour or thirty minutes when I was hanging out with friends or I wanted him to smoke hookah a little less and he broke our agreement but when I tried weed one time he went literally ballistic. No, it wasn’t an abusive relationship. The atmosphere was just... really toxic. We both were on the debate team and I kept winning while he kept losing and he always sorta resented me for that, like he felt so threatened that I was doing better than him in school... or debate... or in my personal life.

So yeah, us breaking up was a good thing but it doesn’t stop there. We really really loved each other. And love doesn’t conquer all, you know? Anyways, he broke up with me in early April and didn’t contact me for two whole months. We went from talking everyday to talking zero times in two months. However, the next time we did meet he proposed a meeting under the guise of he needed to get his stuff. So he shows up at my house, gets his stuff and then stays for three hours pleading and saying like he made a mistake, a rash mistake and I kinda told him... no. And honestly it was the hardest thing I ever had to do because we still loved each other so much but he hadn’t changed at all. So, that following week, we had a house party for graduating seniors. The entire night, he made out with one of my friends in front of me because he wanted to make sure I had a really shitty night. And yeah... it wasn’t nice. But I had a lot of guys trying to get with me and, we’ll, his best friend of ten years was one of them. His best friend made a move and I owed nothing to my ex so I went with it, we’re friends after all.

He isn’t really close with his best friend anymore because he’s really jealous and hurt his best friend did that. Which I understand but at the end of the day... all his friends were pissed at him at this party because he kept getting jealous whenever I was with a guy and just staying in my own lane even tho HE broke up with me and shit over the phone... The following week at another party that he wasn’t invited to, he removed me from our last media of contact we still had each other on and I didn’t hear from him for another month and a half.

Flash to my birthday. August 3. It’s 1 am and he called me out of the blue wishing me a happy birthday. I really wasn’t... thrilled. At this point I was finally okay. I had moved on mentally (of course your heart still stays with the people you once loved), I had a great friend group around me, I finally was able to start gifing and writing again because I felt really... happy. Really good about myself. Like the best I’ve felt about myself in like a decade. I even got my weight up to 45 kilos after going on a diet to gain weight! And my ex’s entire phone call I was speaking so strong but my fucking body was shaking so hard. I know it sounds stupid but I was so fucking scared because I had finally rebuilt myself and I knew this person would have the power to bring me right back down.

On my birthday, we saw each other. We hung out at his house, I spent the night. He looked so fucking miserable. He had so much guilt and regret over what he did to me in his eyes but it seemed like he spent the entire day just trying to make it up to me. It broke my fucking heart because he kept asking me to be more affectionate and I told him no, he’s not my boyfriend and after all he did, he doesn’t deserve it. He would kinda try to... play the field. As in he would say things like “I love you” and then see my reaction and then base his next action off of that reaction. He said “I love you”, I made a face, and he played it off like a joke. He was trying to take the upper hand as usual but I didn’t let him. When I left he told me if I ever wanted to hang out, we could.

I didn’t take that too seriously but my dad left for a few days last week so my brother invited a friend and I invited my ex just to drink and have a good time. At the end of the day, my ex said we’re friends even tho he’s the one who cut me off. My ex’s problem is that he really wants desperately he get back together, to be together again because he still loves me but I don’t want that to happen. Maybe in the future when he’s a changed and better person but for now like... no. Even tho it really hurts. Anyways we had a perfect night. I basically left loose and told him all that he did wrong... that what he did really hurt me... that he’s selfish, unkind and takes people for granted. I told him I pitied him because he sees the world so negatively when there is so much beauty around him. He didn’t try and argue... he just got really sad and told me he understood. He also told me he loved me and didn’t take it back. His eyes looked so fucking crushed because he knew how badly he fucked up. He was throwing compliments about my to my brother, he couldn’t keep his hands off me and when he held me, his fist would clench in my shirt like he was desperately trying to keep hold of me.

We’re essentially just two people who understand that he has to go through a lot of change before we can ever be right for each other again. We love each other so much but even he admitted... he’s just not right for me and he’s not good. He wants to change but he just doesn’t know how, how he’s acted is really all that he knows. Anyways... he spent the night and I kinda knew it was going to be the last time we see each other for months, maybe years, maybe a decade. And he just layed in bed like he really really didn’t want to have to go even though he knew he was going to have to. That’s it. We left on good terms. He’s still in love with me.

To answer your question, for the first time in a long time and I’m just going to be honest. I’m not okay. I’m really not okay. He’s right, he’s not good for me. But it really sucks that his selfish actions and his decisions just did that... to us. I will always love him but I’m not in love with him anymore. We click so well, and we’ve both never found another person whether family, friend or more intimate that we’ve each clicked for. Who knows... maybe one days I’ll meet a better version of him and I’ll take him back when I see he’s more mature and changed. But for now... I was okay until this month when he just decided to slip back into my life. And it doesn’t feel fair. It doesn’t feel fucking fair that I rebuilt myself and I was doing the best I ever had just for him to come back into my life and remind me of his presence.

It’s not like I had forgotten about things like how his hair feels, his accent, his scent or his mannerisms... I hadn’t. Him being around just reminded me of them. And I was doing so well. I had truly moved on mentally in life and was doing the best I ever had. I cry maybe once a year... and now I’m crying literally five times a day because I miss him so much and it hurts having to realize that we’re both strangers who are going to live completely separate lives. It hurts so bad I can’t even explain it really and the writer in me just doesn’t idk.

I’m really sorry for his rant. I have a lot on my chest. I really really am not doing okay. I basically went back two months recovery, back to a point where I can barely get myself to do anything and I just feel really hurt. Its not the worst thing that ever happened to me... but I lost my best friend and a boyfriend, a person I loved so fucking dearly and had all those passionate cliche movie first loved with. It’s the worst thing too knowing that we both still love each other so much but we know it’s not right. It’s not right for us. I can’t be there to help him along the way and he needs to find himself and his own path in life. Love doesn’t conquer all but I think that’s okay. You know? I have to delete a good quali lap for a chance at a great one. I was really looking forward to going to college, starting over and getting out of this city full of memories... but I can’t because my Uni is online first semester so I’m still here. Again... sorry for the rant.

[the-strawzish-clownfish]

Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

no

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

[really-sleep-deprived-nerd]

Sanders Sides Percy Jackson AU!

SO! @moon-scribs and I have been working on this one for a while and we hope you like it!

BASICS:

Logan is a child of Athena 

Roman is a child of Apollo (The very extra son of a very extra god)

Remy is a child of Hypnos (Hypnos is the god of sleep)

Virge is a child of Aphrodite and Patton is a child of Hades (Bare with us for a second, we´ll tell WHY we did this below the cut)

Emile is a child of Epiope (The goddess of the soothing of pain)

Deceit Damian is a child of Hermes (Hermes is, among other things, the god of deception)

Thomas is a child of Iris (Y´know, the goddess of the Rainbow)

More about this under the cut! (Warning: Its ridiculously LONG)

Child-of-Aphrodite! Virgil

When deciding upon which god he should be the child of, we mainly thought about how he was before pre-acepting anxiety, how he felt like “The odd-one out”, how he felt like he “didnt belong here”. See where we are going with this?.

Virgil is supposed to be the child of the goddess of beauty, but he honestly cant see it. He is way too pale. Way too lanky. His hair is too messy. He has eyebags that are bigger than his fist. He isnt “pretty”.

His siblings arent helping with that either: They are incredible extroverted people, they actually care about their appearance, about trivial things like make up and clothes, they are known to be extremelly social, their fucking cabin its mOTHERFUCKING BARBIE MANSION PINK AND ALL.

He doesnt fit with them, sure, he can get along with most of them just fine, but he still feels wrong.

He has charmspeak, but he doesn't knows how to use/control it and its also heavily influenced by his emotions, so when he's really stressed out it activates, mostly to keep his friends out of danger. (Its basically like his canon anxiety demon voice, it can influence them like that scene where v's like 'GET RID OF THE PHONE NOW' and Thomas just throws it without thinking )

His first days on camp were pretty rough, and he was thinking of running away, that is, until he met a very cheerful son of Hades.

Child-Of-Hades! Patton

Patton “Hellhounds are just misunderstoods puppies!” Medina

Patton “Oh that kid looks sad and lonely and uncomfortable Im going tO BEFRIEND HIM” Medina

All the hellhounds just become big puppies around him, he has a tiny army of Cat-skeletons and dog-skeletons following him everywhere that are always either playing with him or trying to get pets of him. 

Since there is literally just one other kid of hades in the cabin most of the bunks are empty so one of them becomes the Cave(tm) of Patton´s bony friends (Its just a bunch skele-pets under a blanket) 

 Also one of the bunks is reseved for Virge, since sleeping in a pink barbie mansion surrounded by SO MANY PEOPLE made him incredible anxious. And Patton could not let his precious friend and crush suffer! He has already went through enough! 

 One of the funniest things to Virgil its the fact that the Hades cabin looks like where vampires would live and then BOOM SUNSHINE BOY 

Patton´s Brother: ugh it's too early to-is that the sun??? I thought there were no windows here??? 

Virge: No, that's Patton

He is the first one to discover that, despite Virgil not believing it, Virge is actually FUCKING gorgeous. Like, one day he makes Virgil giggle and Patton feels as his heart might burst: Virgil´s hair was messy and fluffy and it kinda covered his eyes, but you could see them sparkle with amusement and he had this tiny and kinda shy smile and all that Patton could think was: “goDS ABOVE IM TOO GAY TO FUNCTION- HELP”

Despite his sushiney attitude, lets not forget that, as a child of Hades, Patton is actually fucking powerful, and will not hesitate to absolutly destroy whatever and whoever tries to hurt his fami-friends and his home

Child-Of-Apollo! Roman

You know how Percy´s sword turns into a pen? Yeah, Roman´s katana turns into a golden and silver hairbrush. 

Was sent to camp since he was really young and trained in hand to hand combat until he became the best. 

Has an enthralling voice and incredible acting skills and he can dance like the muses, but cant shoot straight to save his life (Pun not intended lol) and if he tried to heal a paper cut it would probably get infected .

Loves the camp dearly, but he misses his family a lot so he Iris-calls them every saturday

Child-Of-Athena! Logan

Hands down the best strategist in the whole camp. 

Cant do hand-to-hand combat to save his LIFE, but he is amazing with long distance weapons. Bow and Arrow? Logan will pull a hawkeye shit where he NEVER fails. He is good at making traps, like, he studies what surrounds him and can make a scooby-doo-like trap with branches and shit he found laying there. People do not Fuck with him during capture the flag. 

You know how Athena´s kids are all terrified of spiders, right? Welp. Logan has a Patton-level fear of spiders.

“Pardon my crude language, but I don't fuck with those tiny ass demons”

Child-Of-Hermes! Damian

“You, my child, are amazing, but you have the moral of a chocolate muffin”- Thomas, to him, after spending 15 minutes alone together.

Will 100% fuck shit up, not in a “IM EVIL FEAR ME” way, but more in a “Remember my father is also the god of pranksters do not fuck with me Virgil”

Has definitely not pranked Roman and Virgil and had to unceremoniously hide in a tree top so this two would not murder him in the time it took for Emile and Pat to calm them down

Child-Of-Hypnos! Remy

He is a child of hypnos, and as such, drinks unhealthy amounts of coffee so he can stay awake.

He can make everyone he wishes fall asleep instantly just by touching them and he can make it last as long as he wishes (More than 4 hs per person tires him tho)

He doesnt have an ounce of common sense in his whole body and Emile still doesnt know how he managed to stay alive for this long.

Child-Of-Epione! Emile

He is not gifted with healing like some childs of Apollo, yet he is able to sooth the pain of others. No, not only as a psychologist (He is not one yet, but he wants to be one when he grows older), but also as an overall comforting presence: He is kind, his voice is calm, he is sweet, patient and emphathic. 

One hug from him will not heal all your pain, but will make it hurt less, giving you the strength to keep fighting it for a while.

Really, REALLY not good at fighting.

Cried for a whole day when he learned that the camp has no tv so he couldnt watch any cartoons while he stayed there

He was very lonely growing up as before getting to camp, so he used to watch A LOT of cartoons to keep himself occupied, to avoid feeling alone.

The human mind and emotions never ceases to amaze him.

Child-Of-Iris! Thomas

Thomas started going to camp at a very young age, so he kinda knows everyone. 

Despite that fact, he got claimed on the summer after his 15th birthday. 

He was walking across the camp towards the Big House to say hi to Chiron when a full on rainbow surrounded him and Iris´s logo started glowing on top of his head. He looked at the rainbow, then he looked down at his “could be gayer” t-shirt and burst out laughing.

He spends only summers on camp, and since he is a bit older than most of the campers, he became a sort of counsellor to new campers whenever he is in camp.

He helps the new ones with training, teaches them how to get around the camp, teaches them how to read in greek and greek history (To them its history, no mythology) if they dont know anything about it. 

He is super supportive of every new camper! Like, if they are training and one of the newbies fucks up (Drops his weapon, falls, trips, whatever) he will instantly start going “Its okay!! No one can do this right in their first try!! It took me like a year just to stop sucking at it!! You are trying your best and thats whats important!!”

He gave one look at Virgil´s angsty demeanor, Damian´s snarky attitude, Roman´s fake confidence, Patton´s pattoness, Logan´s insighful and wise opinios, Remy´s complete lack of self preservation and Emile´s internal screaming as he tries to keep the rest of his friends fucking mentally stable and immediatly decided “Im going to adopt them”

While Thomas is an excelent “counsellor” and loves his friends, sometimes he will be watching the other 7 human disasters run around and get into shenanigans and just be like: Those kids are already so fucking weird this might as well happen 

Asked to be tagged: @fandoms-till-the-end-of-the-line @thatgaydemigodnerd

[luobingmeis]

okay so bc i need to vent and also bc we all know the old song and dance of “jords is unable to vent post anywhere else,” i’m just gonna rant under the cut and i apologize to mobile users if mobile fucks up the read more :/

also i’d appreciate it if this wasn’t reblogged

also also feel free to ignore

i feel like i’ve kinda just officially hit a point in my life where, for the most part, things are not good or, at the very least, stagnant

like, it’s so easy for me to get sad and stressed and it’s, like, almost every day. like, i think the only day that i haven’t gotten down was wednesday bc it was my birthday, but even then, i kinda had to Work On It

and, like, beginning of september, things were alright!! but then, u know, all good things must come to an end

and i feel like i’ve been like this for months but honestly idk (tho, tbh, i think may and june were iffy, july was bad, august was exhausting [i think idk i can’t really remember but i also know parts of august were bad], the first two weeks of september were good, and now things feel consistently bad)

and like. things so easily set me off now?

and i feel tired and a bit sad and stuck and suffocated and, honestly? really lonely, and like it’s my own doing. like, i feel like i’ve just completely isolated myself

and tbh i think that’s why found family tropes always make me a bit sad underneath all the love bc i feel like i dont have that like everyone else does. like i have friends and best friends but i feel like i’ve just been pushing some of my closest friends away bc i rarely have the energy for shit anymore??? like idk, just last weekend, two of my best friends were home and i love them so much but i was so tired and so bad last weekend that, like, within an hour or two, i’d be ready to go home. and i still had fun!!!! but there was a part of me with this underlying exhaustion

and swim is kinda fucking me up bc i do love swimming and i love being on the team but i never want to go to practice anymore and the season only just started and i’m already waiting for january to come and for the season to end which is Bad bc i don’t wanna rush swim season and ik that i love it but i’m just,,,, so tired and unmotivated all the time and idk

and then with schoolwork, i feel like i just can’t do it anymore. i procrastinate on everything that i do. last year, i would be doing homework for hours every day to get everything done early and, last night, i nearly had a breakdown over having to do a discussion post (for readings that i did not do) and almost emailed my teacher at 10pm to ask for an extension

and, like, once i get my work started? i’m going!!! i’m doing it and it’s decent!!!!! but it’s the getting there that sucks, bc it takes me so long now

and i feel so pressured to do well and get a 4.0 again and just do everything perfect but i can barely bring myself to do shit anymore that i just feel like i’m going to let everyone down and people are going to realize really quickly that i can’t do all that i’ve wanted to

also my memory has been so bad lately and like!!! shit’s wild

and my sleep schedule is so fucked and i need to fix it bc i’m getting, like, on average, 5 or 6hrs a night, which isn’t enough for me, but like!!! i can’t get myself to be going to bed before 11 or 12. sometimes it’s bc i don’t want the next day to happen, and sometimes it’s bc i say that i’ll go to bed earlier and then i just don’t

also i have so many fun things coming up in the next week and being excited is so hard. like tm i’m going out for a very nice dinner w/ my parents for my birthday and, in my mind, it’s just like another Task i have to do. i have the taz and mbmbam shows next week and i am excited for those but my stress is currently outweighing my excitement

and like, all in all, things feel so shit rn like it feels like every day i’m making dumb posts like “ahaha time for sad o’clock” or whatever bc i can’t take myself seriously even tho i so badly Want To be taken seriously but!!! idk

like basically i’m at the point where if, like, every single week is like this, idk what i’m gonna do bc i’m not gonna be able to handle that

and also i feel stagnant and stuck and isolated and i feel like it’s all on me but like. idk how to fix that!!

anyways this is my rant post and it’s very embarrassing and i’m sorry if you stuck around to read all of this bc this basically became a pity party for myself bc i can’t talk to the people i care abt in my life abt my issues but i sure can scream into the ether as strangers read on. so, like, yeah.