#kips does an edit

[theflyingkipper]

proteus dude we’ve been looking for you everywhere!!

[morallyinept]

A full transcribe of EZRA'S dialogue/lines from the film PROSPECT.

Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.

I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

Please also see my Writing For Ezra Guide for further analysis of his character and dialect.

☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.

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Edited - I've been made aware of some errors since the original posting of this, so I've edited it to correct. Special thanks to those who have let me know! 🖤

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FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE:

*Fading in* … Curious.

Don't see too many kips around these ways anymore.

Not a kip… a returner!

Is that a serious question?

I believe you, gentle man.

But my partner always needs a little convincing. He'll just kill me, if I let you go without a thorough search. I never caught your name, friend.

Nice to meet you, Damon. I'm Ezra. I can't tell you how refreshing it is… hoo, to encounter another talker. It's been quite some time since we've run into anyone with fluid in motion. Where're you from, Damon?

How poetic. I take it you're a, hmm… floater? Freelancer. You don’t look very Fringely.

Yeah, don’t we all.

Alright, Damon. Understand what, now?

Damon, it has truly been a pleasure, but… pleasantries passed, it's time to gut the fencer. To be completely candid, this haul has proven to disappoint. Me and my partner both feel we deserve… satisfaction. You understand? 

So, how did you get here, Damon?

Your ship. Where is it? Or perhaps a ship is a tick too rich for you, a drop pod, I reckon. 

Excellent. The starter, if you don't mind.

Where is it? Don't make me root for it, Damon. I guarantee you, I'll make it an unnecessarily painful process.

That is not necessarily true. Nevertheless, continuing within the act of killing is a broad spectrum of technique. So, there is still an incentive for you to acquiesce if that's where you're getting at.

A twist? Go on.

And why would you be so cryptic under rails? You are lucky I am not immune to intrigue. But be careful you don't overplay this technique.

I've seen my share.

That's a theory.

It's funny. I don't see any mercs. Where are they?

Okay. I'd like to believe you. Admittedly, more out of desire than good sense. But Damon… if there is talk of the queen’s lair, the excitement is all but in involuntary.

And there's three of us. We split it in thirds. That's an even split.

This is so exciting!

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What did your outfit look like, back in the day? You've always went solo?

Fancy. We had a full crawling party when we arrived here. Not one of your freighter takes, a testin' screamer.

Mercs in the Green, huh? Last I heard the word "merc" was way back when Crebon raiders hit up all the corporate expeditions.

Caero clan? You friendly with these fellas?

These cables… Goddamn it.

You know, this is something I have never seen in all my time on The Green. A little girl. 

Damon, I have clearly underestimated you, I must stop doing that.

Damon… Does this mean that the plan is off? You have me all up and bothered over the queen's lair, Damon.

Alright, you can have your fabled spoils all to yourself. But if your talk of the queen's lair is true… this is just a scratch.

Your girl is scared. You should listen to her. No harm done, yet.

It's a shame, Damon. We could've been rich together.

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You got a field-kit?

Hey! Field-kit!

Are you gonna shoot?

That is… technically true.

Kevva waits, girl! Shoot or help! Just make a move.

Get me a kit and we can talk.

Your offer is indeed generous. Y'know, I'd be more than happy to sign and seal, save for one glaring slip. My ship.

Well I did. Then there was an event with my crew concerned in a bit of Aurelac and… words and metal flew. And now, I don't. We're in the same trough, you and I. Can’t say I was pleased to find your mare all black and cockways as she was supposed to be my redemption as well. 

Whoa! Whoa! Just slow down a beat there, little bird. At least wait for the counter-offer.

How is it you intend to get home? That is the goal. Am I right?

The Mercs. They’re real aren’t they? Mmm-hmm. And the queen's lair? Mmm-hmm.

You are making a run for them. 

Listen, I know well the lure of vengeance. I myself have… frequently indulged, and I have not often found regret. But in this moment, right here, I'm afraid for both our sakes, I must riposte.

I say, we go to your mercs. I play the prospector. And together we ravage the queen.

Let me help you. I can harvest. I can offer protection. A girl your age, a child, wanders into a camp of fringely mercs, raw. At the end of the tour, what happens? You appeal to their sympathies? They have none. They are ruthless profiteers. You must have something to offer or they will find something to take from you.

That's the fringe, girl. If you're one to point fingers at extortion, well, there's not much I can say.

Now, hold on. I'm keen to make the case that Damon killed himself.

He was trying to steal my trophy case, is what he was trying to do. A man's work is no petty thing. To you, his daughter… I truly apologise for my contribution to his passing. But he was stealing my entire harvest. And actions like these foment the threat of appropriate reactions. Your father knew that, and if didn't, then he had no business in The Green.

I am, indeed. But, are you?

It was all in the name of self-preservation, birdie, it was nothing personal.

I’m your safest route home and in the end we’ll both be rich. 

Of course. There is one more thing. My filter's spent. I'm gonna need a hook-up.

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What is your name?

Do you mind if I take a look?

What do you know about these mercs? When did they arrive? How many are there?

He didn’t tell you anything? It's bad practice keeping you in the dark, if you ask me.

A deep partnership is only made so by candid discourse.

Number Two was more of a utility than a partner. And it seems like your father treated you the same way.

What's your name?

Well, I have to call you something.

Oi, Number Three. Watch that tube, girl. Straight finger. 

Thank you. 

If you don't know the thing about channel rats, is when they fornicate, they excrete a hormone substance - I don't really know what it's called - but it's uncannily sticky, it cocks up electrics. And it smells exactly like, but significantly more potent than, stale human urine.

Anyways, we stripped every panel in that ship. We clubbed those rat beavers to death. Two at a time. It was a toilsome marathon of carnage. We never did find the nest. 

You know, eventually, you're gonna have to trust me.

Just give me a moment.

You should keep the thrower low, we could be surrounded.

I said, keep it low. 

Don't show any sign of aggression. Drop it. Put your hands above your head.

Just do it. 

Just do it! Now!

We have to follow him. The wound would appear… ideal bite. It still has some venom. The dust. It’s found its way in and now it festers. The Sater are religious settlers and tedious scavengers. They should be amenable to trade for medical supplies.

We don’t have a choice.

Shoot me, then. 

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(Greets in Sater language) I have sustained a wound that, due to inadequate treatment, now festers pink. I was hoping you had some juice?

Thank you, sir. We are tremendously grateful.

I thought perhaps it might interest you for trade.

A wise and understandable measure. We shall stow them at our discretion and return shortly, unarmed. Is that acceptable to you and your colleagues?

Here.

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That was beautiful.

Juice. It's good for you, cleanses the dust.

Thank you for your kindness. Now, as you can see, I have sustained a trauma to my shoulder. I would much like to flush it with your magic juice. And to keep straight… we would also be very much interested in proper dressing, and filter refreshers, if you have them and can spare them? In return for your gracious offering, we are prepared to compensate with generosity in equal measure.

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

That is a bold offer.

What do you need her for?

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(Ezra’s radio transmission) Hello! Hello to the green! I got… *inaudible*... I got one or two fourteen grade root pearls that I'm willing to part with for well over the peakest of rush rates. Nothing funny. Just a desperate man trying to make a bad deal with the right hold out. If anyone is out there, don't hesitate to click on...

Take your helmet off.

You look like shit. Eat it. There’s cases of 'em in here.

Here. I need your help.  

After you left, those Sater weren't too keen on helping me out… So I had to treat myself. I botched the excision. I was unable to clean and scrape the blackness. Now if I don't lose my arm, it'll kill me. And I can't perform the procedure by myself.

No. 

You ever use one of these before? It's easy. Prime it like this… then there are five levels of intensity. Two for the flesh, four for bone. You got it? 

Thank you.

I won't feel a thing. Hack away. Quick, confident strokes are best. Try to go full circuit on the first cut. 

I've never had to use these surettes before. Kind of nice… tingling, almost like… oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit!

Oh, shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit.

No, I don’t know. Keep going, you're doing great. Keep going until you hit bone. 

I’m gonna miss him. My primary weapon, been with me my whole life. Always there, ready to help, no job too gritty, no love too intimidating. 

Up to four, as soon as it's off, give my stump a hearty coat in the juice and cream it all shut! Clear? 

How are you so calm? You've done this before.

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So, where’s home?

Spoken like a true floater. What's that book you carry around?

"Streamer Girl"?

You wrote a novel?

There's not a lot of literature in circulation out here.

Well, it seems I must.

You memorised it?

Not at all. It's quite impressive.

Focus on what?

Well, you can't… you can't think like that. You go down that path, it's not good. If you need someone to blame, you blame me. You need to think about your next move. Be on that freighter in a tick.

It’s nice to meet you, Cee. 

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Well. There's our ride.

Stay clear and close and I’ll talk us through. When it comes time to dig, I’ll need you to be sharp. I've never harvested one-handed before. I'm gonna need some help. But we'll keep it creamy and it’ll all be fine.

Damon, here for the dig. You wouldn't believe the time we’ve had of it, getting here. I wholeheartedly apologise for being late. But after the storm tidied us off mark, we were already a cycle back and naturally-

I wholeheartedly apologize. You wouldn't believe…

Well, actually… uh, before we get started. I'm afraid I must interject. I haven't been completely candid with you yet. After an erring landing and toilsome trick, there is one more significant detail to our story, one that forces us to leverage our talents for little bit more than the agreed upon price.

It's not more of a cut we're after. The points are more than adequate payment for the two of us. Rather it's a means of transit we lack. 

Well, now, what she means to say is that while transport is a requisite part of the deal, we are willing to forgo two points. Which by any reckoning is exorbitant compensation for a hop into orbit.

Oh, come now. In a prize… Scrap well over the weight of the passenger and a half. Cargo braces. That's one hundred, one-thirty right there.

You're not understanding me. Everything has changed. If you're not willing to scrap payload, scrap crew for all I care, but you'll find a way, if you want that buried treasure.

I am the gatekeeper to more wealth than any of us have ever seen, and you've been wasting in The Green for far too long to let that slip away. I'm afraid, I am the only means to the successful end of your venture. And I say the terms have changed. Thirteen, plus a ride for me and my partner on your handsome craft or no deal. Find a way.

My boy, this is a winner! I think a little back up thrust is an easy drop under the circumstances. What do you say, boss?

Gentlemen. And women… Let's get rich!

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Strange method for an execution. What did this fella do to land him in the box?

How convoluted!

Somebody ought to give her a go.

That's the price for a dry breach. But my chem will calm the brine.

Hello, sweetheart.

It's a big one.

You got it? Hold it nice and tight.

Hold it like you love it. 

Oh. That's perfect.

Slippery son of a bitch.

No, no, no. Shit!

Not to worry, we go again.

(Muttering to self) *Inaudible* (?)leech on the(?) …cock spitters … cannot fuck more nuggets in this sleep for snatch, pearls… 

It's a little difficult to carve weak-handed!

Now hold on!

Those shots will bring the rest of ‘em in.

I don’t know.

Greedy fool! Couldn't help himself. Took a stumble, getting a closer look. Now, time presses and I am gonna need assistance if we're-

Go, go, go!

Move!

I'm out.

If we uncouple you can run a distraction, opening me up for the backstab. 

Are you sure?

You run fast and you don’t stop. You keep plenty of trees between you and her. You come straight back here as soon as I make the kill so we can re-couple. Clear?

You need to go. You grab the gun and you go. You can make it. 

Get outta here!

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DELETED SCENE:

What is your name? 

Well, I have to call you something. 

Once, a long time ago, there was a channel rat. Well, first there was an entire nest. Caulked up in the floorboards of my skimmer, this was back when I was running catkins with my brother in Parson. 

If you don’t know, thing about channel rats, is when they fornicate, they excrete a hormone substance - I don’t remember what it's called - but the relevant details are that it is uncannily sticky, it cocks up electrics, and it smells exactly like, but significantly more potent than, stale human urine.

So, this horny cohort is scrambling around unseen, plastering up my walls with their piss paste, and the smell… was so horrific. And we had to wear nuke suits all the time, even when we slept.

So, after we exhausted our repertoire of civilised extermination methods, it soon devolved into barbarism. 

We stripped every panel in that ship and clubbed those rat beavers to death, two at a time. It was a toilsome marathon of carnage. But the bag of corpses steadily grew heavier.

We never did find the nest. But by the end of the run, we were down to what as far as we could tell was the last rat standing. This little bitch waits until we make ground fall, saunters into the galley, climbs up onto the table, and I spin you not, stands right up on its hind legs and starts calmly munching on a piece of bush bread. 

Maybe it was our impending reunion with civilization, or maybe it was exhaustion, but neither of us could bring ourselves to bash that last channel rat. So we just sat there and watched it eat the entire biscuit.

When it was done, it walked over to the airlock, waited at the hatch as if it expected us to just open it, so we did. And then walked out. 

You remind me of that channel rat, so in the absence of a given moniker, I will now call you Channel Rat. 

Number Three it is. 

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FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

[westofessos]

We really as a society need to just fucking get over it and have the men and women wrestle each other. There can obviously be separate divisions and titles but thinking of how much potential for great storylines is being wasted physically hurts me. How great would mixed tag titles be (obviously we need women’s titles first)? For the first one they could have a big tournament and have all the couples compete and have the finals be on Valentines Day or some shit, it would be adorable. Who wouldn’t want to see Toni Storm and Juice Robinson team together? Or Britt Baker and Adam Cole, Anna Jay and Jack Perry, Penelope Ford and Kip Sabian, etc. I know I would.

Or they could have a blind eliminator tournament like they just did for the men, and pair up men and women who otherwise never would have spoken to each other. You never know, they could very well strike gold like they did with the MJF/Adam Cole pairing. I think they would.

Not to mention the great singles matches we could have, the feuds they could be put in. Plus you have someone like Kris Statlander who’s with the Best Friends and has such great chemistry with them but can never be part of the feuds they’re in if the other group doesn’t have a female member, and they can’t ever help her out in her feuds, it’s just dumb as fuck.

I think it could also help with the sub-par booking of the women’s division, too. They would get more time to shine. Obviously we need more matches with just women, but I would love more than anything to see those women kick the asses of some of those men. Those matches and storylines could be epic.

Anyway, sorry if that was messy or slightly incoherent I’m just really passionate about this particular issue and just heard that Rey Fenix wouldn’t be able to go to Wembley, prompting me to practically scream “so just let Stat join them for fucks sake!”

Edit: I wasn’t really clear in the post originally but I meant this this as strictly about AEW! I am aware that intergender wrestling does exist and has been done, I just meant that it should become the norm for the big companies (i.e. AEW. I don’t follow WWE so I can’t speak on what they’re doing over there. Someone that watches it regularly can speak on what they’re doing in this regard).

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

Thinking about how Kipps is everything an adult supervisor should be and it’s those exact reasons he cannot live with himself being one... this was just supposed to be a post of contrasting block quotes and it’s still mostly that but I added a bit of commentary/context:

“The adult supervisors had zero psychic sensitivity and, since they were mortally afraid of going anywhere near an actual Visitor, never ventured far into a haunted zone. Instead, they hung around on the sidelines, being old and useless.” 

- Lucy in The Creeping Shadow

Kipps, meanwhile, during the Guppy escapade:

“The one exception was Kipps, who sat cross-legged in the kitchen, drinking hot chocolate and reading a newspaper. He didn’t have sufficient Talents to do psychic exploration.”

(emphasized because he’s actually in the home, none of Lucy’s adult supervisors have ever done that -- also he’s staying out of the way) 

Later, he makes an official suggestion in his capacity as Fittes observer, but when the actual psychic kids reject it, he goes along with their plan anyway. Not only that, they’re actively trying to draw out Guppy and Kipps helps: 

“Lockwood inserted his crowbar into a narrow space between a countertop and the cupboard below.  ‘Kips and I will start,’ he said. ‘The rest of you keep watch”  ....After a bit, he moved back and let Kipps take over with the mallet.

And then :

“We have to go and help him, Kipps,” I said.  Kipps didn’t seem to have moved since Lockwood had left the room. His face was white. He gathered his wits. “Yes. We must. Come on.”

He doesn’t end up having to do anything because George finds the Source a moment later but he’s willing! He can’t see the ghost but he’s gonna go help Lockwood fight it! 

I don’t have my copy of Screaming Staircase with me to double check so I’ll edit this later-- I can’t remember if Lucy asking Jacobs to come into the house and offer advice is in the book or a show addition, but it’s such a contrast!!! 

And then, of course, these are all the reasons that Kipps ends up resigning-

“I just had a realization,” he said when we were on the train and rocking slowly through the south London suburbs. “After the Guppy job. I mean, there we were-- in a house possessed by a wicked and powerful entity, and you all were running around like madmen-- fighting, screaming, being fools-- but dealing with it... I was just a fifth wheel. I couldn’t see it, I couldn’t hear it... I was too old to do anything useful. And that’s what being a supervisor is: it’s a life of sending others out to fight and die. I’ve known that for a while, but it took you to make me realize I couldn’t bear to continue with it.... it was probably another dumb decision... like agreeing to come along with you today. Lockwood says he wants my expertise, but I’m not sure what I can contribute aside from standing around like a fence post. Maybe I can make the tea.” 

which like wow! The acceptance that he no longer has Talent, that his leadership can no longer continue to the way it used to -- which is exactly what an adult supervisor should do -- be there for input, listen to the psychic kids, advise and support-- it’s what Kipps does !  

we very frequently see Kipps actively engaged with his Team in Whispering Skull and Hollow Boy- obviously he has a Prideful streak, he’s pompous and makes mistakes, but we generally see him trust his team and do his best as a Leader. Again, don’t have my copies with me so can’t make the point further in those books, but also remember the reason he falls into hot water with Fittes in the first place is he goes a little rogue-- and the reason for that is because none of DEPRAC or the other Adults know what’s going on with the Chelsea outbreak, and, in the wake of his agent’s death, Kipps doesn’t want to lose anyone else to arbitrary nonsense (there’s something here in direct contrast to Marissa but maybe I’ll expound more in another post) -- instead, he trusts a Talent he actually knows and makes the best choice for his team members 

Which is all to say-- Kipps is a good adult supervisor, but the system isn’t made for good adult supervisors 

[kipstarr-mojis]

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[xxcocoiiixx]

The Elysian Idol extract: Belladonna from different povs - Luke edition

"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐕𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐎𝐍."

"I got it"

"If you got it, I wouldn't have to say it for the hundredth time"

Luke stood a few paces away from Bella who was gripping the sword tightly. Luke's critical eyes swept over her the smaller girl, her knees were shaking slightly, she kept shifting her white sneakers against the dirt and it was obvious that the sword was too big for her by the way she struggled to keep it balanced.

She had to learn he told himself. If not now, within the safe confines of the camp, then never. He wasn’t used to being so harsh with her. Bella wasn’t like Annabeth who dusted herself off and got back up again. Bella was fragile, used to a soft word and a kind touch. Reassurance that tomorrow would be alright or risk her world shattering into a waterfall of tears.

But reassurance couldn’t be guaranteed, that much he knew. He slowly began sick at the possibility. Of Bella being subjugated to a fate an iota worse than she deserved. And in Luke’s opinion that little girl deserved everything and more. Day by day he was plagued by the anticipation of what’s to come. So rather than being swallowed by the storm he decided to push ahead of it.

Bella wasn’t exactly receptive to that logic, or much logic usually….

"Clearly I'm trying my best Luke."

Luke sighed. As brassy as Bella was, it wasn't often that was truly frustrated, especially at others. The clipped tone she was exhibiting now caused a pang of guilt in his chest.

His voice softened this time around. "Just- swing for me one last time. Your weapon will choose you, but only if you try"

Belladonna huffed through her nose. Her delicate features scrunched up as her focus was locked onto her target, a limp and frail straw man in the distance.

Breaking into a sprint, she raised the sword and swung as hard as she could, determined to cut the head off the straw dummy.

To Bella's surprise, her movements screeched to a halt. Her arms were almost completely stretched above her head and her torso was leaved forward at an awkward angle. Bella blinked when she looked up to see when her sword was cut. The blade was lodged right in the middle of its "neck" she tried pushing it through and pulling it out the opposite way. Neither direction budged.

"I think it chose the dummy."

Luke walked up and with little effort pulled the sword out of the dummy. He returned the sword to her only for him to freeze at the sight of her familiar tearful pout. Her round eyes somehow like got even rounder and bigger and shinier like baby doll.

Uh oh.

She didn’t accept the sword. Instead she moved around him and her body plopped onto the grass that was on the sidelines of the arena. She had her back facing him with a slouched posture that would make Silena frown.

Luke made sure to lean the sword against its resting spot before taking a seat next to her on the ground. The whole thing put him in a much younger, more childlike headspace.

"It takes practice" he offered soothingly.

The young girl practically scoffed.

“I reckon it does”

"You wanna talk?”

There wasn’t an explicit yes or no from her so for a few moments they basked in silence.

“Do you know what else takes practice?” She suddenly asked.

“No.”

“Kips”

Not what he thought she was going to say. Though at this point he was used to her not always making sense. And in her defence she has become quite the acrobat

“Y’know once I learned I wanted to do tricks like that I practiced. Every day before the crow calls. And now I could do it upside down and with my eyes closed if I wanted”

He nodded. Unsure of what to do or say. 

"I'm not a fighter Lu.” Her voice was so soft, practically a whisper at that point. The finality of it all, her being ashamed to look at him in the eye, broke his heart.

"That's not true." He was eager to protest.

Belladonna stayed silent. Suddenly finding more of an interest on the dust ruining her wide legged jeans. She didn't know how to tell him that it was true. Or that the other campers reminded her and family every day that Cabin 10 was useful in anything battle or strategy related.

"You're just different. And there's no better way to prove it than in capture the flag tomorrow when we steal the blue flag together, side by side. Wouldn't that be cool?"

She moved to lean her head against Luke's arm. She told herself it was to make herself more comfortable but there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she didn't want to openly show her distress.

"I can't. Silena and Clarisse sorted out an alliance yesterday. I'm team red again. I got a way you can make it up to me though”

“How?…”

Usually favours for Bella involve labour. He wanted to at least mentally prepare for whatever outrageously convoluted request she was about to ask of him.

"If we cross paths in Capture you can let me win”

That made him laugh aloud.

“And why would I do that”

And risk his shot at glory was also on the tip of him tongue. Though he, and everyone else at camp knew that kleos is worth dust to her unlike most demigods.

“As compensation. For being on a team that has lost so many times it has a pernicious effect an’ all”

“That’s….a mouthful. Where’d you hear a word like that?”

“Oh Annabeth said it” “Y’know I had to look it up myself. She surprises me everyday, that girl she’s as smart as all get out” Bella gushed

Luke couldn’t help but be doubtful either shrug didn’t fully understand the definition of “pernicious” (which was the likely option) or she truly didn’t care.

“Are you sure that you’re alright with what she said”

Bella shrugged cluelessly. “I’m fine. I’m sure she’s just stressed after carrying an entire team on her back since forever”

“Wait! No changing the subject” Luke groaned in response.

“Come on, pretty please!”

She had that look in her eye. That weird, annoyingly irresistible Bambi look in her eye but the scary part of it all was a slight glint of mischievousness in the corners. That gleam that shone, knowing she has already won the battle.

Luke had to break eye contact and rub at his temple. If this cost his team the victory and Annabeth found out, because she always does, she would lose her mind. But the corner of his lips couldn’t help but quirk upwards at the sight of her brighter mood.

“I’m not allowed to say no to you, am I?”

The little girl rung out her perfect laugh that resembles a ringing bell before looking up at him again. His brown eyes were warm with understanding and soft encouragement. He was at least trying to make her feel less like a complete failure of a demigod. Bella grinned playfully at the older boy with her nose high up in the air, like she was confident about her odds.

“Nuh uh”

He shook his head at the thought. Belladonna always got what Belladonna wanted it seems. She just had those doe like face that seemed to trick people into serving her before they had even realised what they had given up. Loving Bella was probably as easy as breathing.

But this was Belladonna. The girl in the tattered white dress and a plastic rhinestoned crown with half the gems missing. The girl he swore to protect since she was seven. Belladonna deserved more. And as her brother he would give her the world if she asked.

"Alright then, you have yourself a deal little lady"

[weafurry]

YAYY YIPPEE HII/silly

(Sorry I didn't get to this till now it was late when I saw the ask and I didn't wanna answer it while I was half asleep. Also apparently tumblr doesn't let you edit asks anymore?? )

Leaving this under a cut tho cuz I know this shit will get LONG

ANYWAYS. The. Big one related to that™ post came from a combination of me wondering how the FUCK Cedric got the yellow phosphor needed to rebuild proto + consequences of the revival of characters my beloved

And uh. Yea any yellow phosphor he does end up getting his hands on I. DOUBT WOULD BE ENOUGH.

So uh. Proto being rebuilt with less yellow phosphor then is probably even remotely adviseable and that causing a whole ton of issues™ . And Cedric not even knowing cuz of the whole just. Scanning the blueprints in.

Also this is proto we're talking about here. There's no fucking way he'd tell anyone until shit got BAD.

LEMME JUST. Screenshots from when I was brainrotting over this in my first OneShot fixation

And yea. The author probably would have had yellow phosphor stored in the lab somewhere just incase. (Esp with the head canon that. Proto predicted his own death a long time ago cuz. Prophet moment. And. Told the author and the prophet but never cedric and rue cuz everytime he went to he would get another vision of them trying to intervene and things only going worse)

BUT. since I want my angst goddammit. That part of the lab collapsed first and while Cedric was abled to salvage some yellow phosphor it ends up not being enough.

BUT LIKE. YEA. the way I always imagined Cedric and Rue actually finding out is. One of those moments where a bunch of errors and shit happens . Happens when him Cedric and Rue are walking in the refuge. And this one's bad enough that he can't just metaphorically grit his teeth through it like the other times this has happened in public. Once it's over Cedric and Rue are reasonably extremely concerned and. Fuckin rush him to the lab to try and see if there something they can do to fix this.

AND UH. That segways into another little detail of this headcanon. BECAUSE. he let this go on for so long with the damage all the errors and malfunctions overtime have caused. It probably would just be better to rebuild him and reuse the yellow phosphor they already have. BUT UH. since the situation around him being rebuilt made it so stressful the first time around, he. REALLY doesn't wanna do that again. I have. Such a vivid idea of a scene in my head for that. They're like. Talking with kip. And shes like halfway through saying the word rebuild and. She doesn't even get to finish he just cuts her off.

So what they end up doing is, in the meantime, using red phosphor to prevent any further damage until they can go to the barrens to get blue phosphor so said phosphor won't have to be replaced as often.

I ACTUALLY. made a dumb little chart of how. I imagined them looking different a few days ago

I imagine that. Actually having a normal level of phosphor would. Definitely HELP. But. There would still be some issues partially because it's not one uniform type of phosphor and partially because of the damage the issues caused. And you couldnt pry this headcanon out of my cold dead hands. Consequences of the revival of characters go brrrrrrr

AND THEN UH. Don't get me started on the night terrors as a result of the whole squares thing headcanons.

that whole thing. Came from me going. "do robots still need sleep?" and ultimately deciding yes when i came up with the other headcanon that. only tamed robots dream.

When I made this headcanon I actually hadnt played solstice in a while, and for some reason I always remembered it as, him handing Niko the disk while the lower half of his body was already in the squares. which. no he actually hands it to them while the squares are directly behind him BUT. I still choose to remember it that way HSHSH. anyways uh. Important and related to this headcanon. He remembers what that feels likeeee. and hes probably the only oneee because in the solstice ending everyone only sayss they remember the squares surrounding themm not actually touching themmm and even robots who have gotten caught in them and liveed probably dont rememberrr especially since most of them arent tameddd and uhh even if he only remembers the beginning of ittt hes probably really good at filling in the gapss with the whole prophet thingg (thanks @malwarechips for that last idea/silly)

ANYWAYS UHm. so the whole. tamed robots dreaming thing right. HIM. having night terrors about the fucking squares.

I always imagined it as like. about a week after solstice, once things are starting to calm down and return to normal, one night cedric and rue wake up to proto just fuckin screaming at the top of his (metaphorical) lungs. And. they fuckin burst into his room to him tossing and turning in his sleep and then fucking jolting awake. and like.this keeps happening like. practically every other night. he's losing sleep over this shit. Which probably isn't helping all the other issues from the whole phosphor ordeal which he still hasn't told Cedric or Rue about at this point. And I mean. I doubt the nightmares would be restricted to just. in the mines. cuz dreams are weird like that esp when traumas involved AND UH. With the whole prophet thing. That. PROBABLY WOULDNT MIX WELL. (once again thanks eve for that last part/silly)

(On a lighter note I did have the thought of Cedric and Rue sleeping in his room one night and him actually finally getting a good nights sleep and thus that just. Becoming routine for them. The thing about my angsty headcanons is 99% of the time there's hurt/comfort potential in there)

I DO HAVE. some more lighthearted not angsty headcanons, but i wanna save most of those for their own posts cuz theyre small enough that i can actually draw them and finish them.

I will say one more though. this one is 100% projection but *points at proto* chronic migraines

[underratedandoverit]

You Wanna Wish Away Your Sins (2/3)

After losing to Best Friends at Arcade Anarchy, Kip undergoes shoulder surgery. One person reaching out to him afterwards sends Kip spiraling, turning all the pain and suffering in him into… Flowers? Flowers growing in his lungs?

Kip Sabian/Chuck Taylor. Hanahaki disease. Angst. Hurt/comfort. Emotional hurt/comfort. One-sided attraction. Also tagged this from now on with manipulative Kip.

Marked Mature on AO3 for general content. Warnings for mentions of hospitals, surgery, medical stuff. Described feelings for choking and vomiting.

Other characters on-screen include Penelope Ford. Rest of Best Friends are mentioned. Background ship of Penelope/Kris is heavily implied, but never specifically shown.

part 1 || part 3

On AO3

I really didn't mean to write this for a month but hey mental illness be damned lmao. This is more of a setup for the final act than anything else, I hope it's not super repetitive, I tried to minimize things during editing.

Also this chapter is 7,1k words long I am SO sorry.

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate @ss-trashboat

---------------------------

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Kip walked into the living room, not being even slightly surprised to see Penelope already standing there. He hadn’t woken up when she had arrived and Penelope didn’t announce her arrival very loudly, which was just fine with him. She had acted more or less as his caretaker since he was discharged from the hospital, both of them knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to take care of himself entirely on his own. Which became very obvious very fast after the first night when Kip had called her in pain after the painkillers had worn off.

“Good morning.”

Penelope perked up a little, eyes shooting over her shoulder towards him, clearly a little surprised as she hadn’t heard him walk into the room. She offered him a smile though. “Morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Better,” Kip shrugged, walking past her towards the kitchen. “It still fucking hurts though.”

“Of course it does,” Penelope stated, leaving the items she was shuffling through on the coffee table, walking after him into the kitchen. “You were literally cut up and sewn back together barely a week ago. It’s not going to pass that fast.”

Kip just nodded absentmindedly, grabbing a cup from the sink before walking over to the coffee maker. Penelope had arranged everything ready for him, learning from the mornings before that food was somehow the first thing in Kip’s mind when he rolled out of bed. He was very grateful for all the work she did for him, knowing that he would most likely barely actually get out of bed if it wasn’t for Penelope to make the early recovery days even somewhat bearable.

After pouring himself a cup of coffee Kip took a seat on one of the stools by the kitchen island, watching as Penelope sat on another seat from across him after sliding a plateful of breakfast items in front of him, observing the Brit as Kip took a sip of his coffee, nodding his head a little as if to give his approval of the quality of it. He averted Penelope’s eyes, her look almost a bit too expecting for him, almost as if she was waiting for him to strike a conversation with her that he didn’t want to have right there and then.

Instead Kip coughed a little, feeling the by now way too familiar scratching in his throat.

Oh god, not now.

“You’ve been coughing so much lately,” Penelope muttered, watching as Kip tried to hide his mouth behind his hand as he hastily set the coffee cup down, having maybe finally learned that he couldn’t use the other to cover his face anymore. Without Penelope noticing – he was fairly sure she didn’t, she would have without a doubt said something – Kip managed to get the few petals out of his lungs, hiding them in his hand before he returned to his coffee, drinking it down in hopes that it would help with the burning in his throat. “Ever since you got back from the hospital. You better not be sick with something.”

“It’s fine,” Kip assured her, his voice hoarse as he cleared his throat a little, still feeling something stuck in there. Penelope just shook her head at him, pushing herself up from her seat, preparing to get back into cleaning the living room like she had been.

“Just make sure I don’t catch it. I have no time to be sick.”

Kip watched as she walked away, letting out a quiet sigh as he glanced at the few purple tinted rose petals in his hand.

“Yeah, I’m sure you won’t be catching this.”

It had been a week, and Kip still didn’t have a solid explanation to any of this. He had tried his absolute best to work it out after the initial freak out in the hospital, but so far there were no answers. When he had coughed the petals up the first time, the nurse that came to his aid after hearing his horrified screams in the hospital room was convinced that the petals were just dropped from the freshly brought set of roses that sat on the nightstand next to the bed and Kip in his tired, painkiller amplified state just didn’t notice neither the flowers nor the petals before. She didn’t take him seriously, only gave him some sedatives to put him in a sleepless slumber so he would stop freaking out.

Ever since then Kip hadn’t told anyone about the petals. Most of the time he managed to keep the coughing to a minimum around other people, like he did around Penelope just now, keeping the petals down in his throat or in the worst case scenario hidden in his mouth until he was alone to get rid of them. The coughing fits came and went, mostly at random and he had little to no control over them, their timing or the intensity, always starting with scratching in his throat until it became unbearable, making it hard to breath, ending with Kip coughing out at least a handful of purple tinted rose petals.

He had thought about telling Penelope about it, but without having close to no idea himself why all this was happening, Kip had decided against it. Penelope was the levelheaded one out of the two of them and she put up with a lot of Kip’s nonsense already, but this might have been above even her understanding. And if Kip couldn’t explain it to even himself, well…

He wasn’t going to risk it with Penelope.

Finishing his plate while pondering through all of this before getting up to get more coffee, Kip poured the petals from his hand into the trash, sighing a little. He had tried researching the phenomena he was experiencing to the best of his ability, but every source he could find was either fictional or made little to no sense to him while he was reading it. The only connecting thread he could find in all of this was the few sets of words that seemed to come up in everything he found, no matter how grounded in reality it was.

Unrequited love.

Flowers growing in his lungs.

Be loved, get surgery… Or die.

Chewing on his lower lip, Kip sat back down to the stool he had stood up from, sipping on a fresh cup of coffee as he dwelt in his thoughts. He wasn’t really sure what it all meant, but he sure had noticed that as time passed with him coughing the petals, it seemed like the throat scratching got worse over time and he had a harder time catching proper amounts of air into his lungs. At first Kip had just put it down as the fault of the medication, but the more he looked into this whole thing, it seemed like this was definitely a lot worse than just medication messing with his body or the short time he had been in bed rest already messing him up physically.

There was something else, as another coughing fit reminded him of, making a few petals drop onto the counter of the kitchen island. Kip stared at them for a moment, slowly wiping them to the floor. Watching them gently float down until they were out of his view Kip sighed.

How did something so beautiful make him hurt so much on the inside? And maybe even more importantly, why?

“…Are you even listening?”

Kip’s eyes shot up, meeting Penelope’s gaze as she leaned against the door frame at the kitchen entrance, arms crossed over her chest. By her reaction Kip was thinking she hadn’t actually seen the petals still, but he had been too deep in his own thoughts the past few moments to notice her talking to him from the living room.

Kip shook his head slowly. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Penelope sighed, but her features clearly softened as he finally replied to her. “I was just asking if you needed me around today for anything. Or if it’s okay if I leave.”

Kip sipped his coffee, eyeing Penelope for a moment. She had done so much for him that he never asked for, just because they were friends and she lived close by, and was one of the people he trusted the most, knowing their shared background and the work they’d done together and everything. Penelope had been the first person Kip had called when he heard his shoulder required surgery, she was the one that made sure he got in and out of the hospital with this whole ordeal, and now she was here, caring for him when he had asked for none of it.

He finally shook his head again. “I think I can handle myself for a day. I don’t feel worse than before today.”

“Which reminds me,” Penelope spoke up, walking back into the living room for a moment. Kip raised a brow at her as she re-emerged into the kitchen, but his face twisted into a little smile as he watched Penelope slide his pillbox across the kitchen island towards him. “Your meds. Remember to take them.”

Lowering the coffee cup from his hand Kip pulled the pillbox closer, struggling a little to open the correct container with one hand, eventually managing it on his own. He could feel Penelope’s eyes burning holes to the top of his head as she watched him wrestle with the small box, but it was obvious that she wasn’t going to step in before Kip asked her to. She knew he was slowly learning to do things like this on his own, and that she just needed to give him time with them.

“What would I do without you,” Kip sighed with a smile tucking in the corner of his lips as he finally observed the pill he managed to free from its plastic prison, popping it into his mouth, drinking it down with the coffee he had at hand. Penelope just rolled her eyes at him a little, but couldn’t help but to smile. “Well, today you have to figure it out. I’m heading out with Kris.”

Kip nodded, hand reaching for the pillbox again as he snapped the lid of the container shut, handing it back to Penelope. She knew where to store it and how to fill it better than he did, though Kip would eventually have to learn that as well.

“Shopping trip with the girls?”

Penelope grabbed the pillbox from him, Kip being sure he saw a soft blush crossing her cheeks as she giggled a little. “More like A Date with The Girl.”

Her enthusiasm was so obvious with the emphasis she put on her words that Kip couldn’t help but to smile at her, watching Penelope twirl a coil of her hair around her finger as she proceeded to leave the kitchen again to handle her business with the pillbox. His happiness for her was short lived unfortunately, as Kip could feel the by now way too familiar scratching on his throat again all of a sudden, only this time even stronger than at any point this morning so far. It almost felt like something was trying to make its way forcefully out of him, like sharp nails scraping against the walls of his lungs, ripping them to pieces.

And then the doorbell rang.

Penelope quickly showed back up to the doorway, Kip trying to hide the sudden struggle to breathe as she beamed at him, obviously very happy about her upcoming day.

“That’s probably Kris. I’ll see you later, text me if you need anything, I can stop by when I’m heading back home.”

Kip just nodded back at her with a small thumbs up, trying to keep on a false smile as he tried to hold the coughs back. He watched Penelope leave the doorway, disappearing from his view again, and as soon as she did, Kip sprung up on his feet, almost throwing himself to the sink as a wave of petals forcefully made its way out of him through his mouth. Gasping for air between a few small waves of rose petals exiting him, he leaned against the kitchen sink, barely keeping himself up on his feet, feeling like the air had been completely punched out of him.

Wiping a shaky hand over his face, Kip tried to take a deep breath as he closed his eyes, the burning worse than it had been since the first time he had vomited the petals out that night in the hospital. He could feel the sweat on his forehead and tears stinging in the corners of his eyes, reminding himself much of the worst hangovers of some of his younger years. And yet, somehow, this was nothing like that and far worse than anything he had ever experienced at the same time.

“Kip?”

He slowly straightened up, holding himself up against the sink with one hand, turning around to lean back against it. Opening his eyes Kip looked across the room back at Penelope, the worry and confusion clearly written on her face, though Kip was definitely quick to reflect that same emotion back at her, having thought that she had already left.

“Are, are you okay?”

Kip just waved his hand a little, offering her a weak smile. It probably wasn’t very convincing, but it was the best he could do at the moment, to give her a small amount of peace of mind if nothing else.

“I… I don’t think the painkillers are still sitting very well with me today.” He inhaled deeply, finally getting some air into his lungs that didn’t burn, surprisingly enough considering how different the situation had just been mere seconds ago. “But I thought you left.”

“Well, yeah, Kris is outside.” Kip’s eyes narrowed a little, brows furrowing in confusion. “But, uh, there is… Someone here to see you.”

Before Kip could ask, Penelope stepped a bit deeper into the kitchen, leaving the doorway open for a brief moment before another figure stepped through it. Upon seeing the man enter the kitchen, his kitchen in his house, Kip could feel something tightening in his chest as his fingers grasped onto the edge of the sink behind him just a little bit tighter. No, this time it certainly wasn’t his lungs filling up with rose petals to the point of nearly bursting out of him.

This ache was coming straight from his heart upon seeing the slightly awkward Chuck Taylor standing just a few feet away from him.

Kip didn’t register his greeting, only saw Chuck slightly wave his hand at him. Kip’s eyes shot over to Penelope, clearly begging for help as he wasn’t sure at all how to handle the situation that had suddenly evolved around him, which she thankfully understood as she walked up to him, Kip mentally letting out a sigh of relief watching her walk around the kitchen island to the side where she couldn’t possibly see the content in the kitchen sink. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to explain to her why he had gotten sick with odd colored rose petals.

“What is he doing here?” Kip whispered, eyes darting between Penelope and Chuck, despite knowing how awfully clear it made it in this situation that the other man in the room was the topic of their secretive conversation. Chuck just avoided eye contact, almost pretending that he wasn’t there as the two blonds continued their whispering, just looking around the kitchen walls as if he found them extremely interesting.

“Kris drove him here. He said he wanted to see you, insisted even. Talked about some apology or something.”

Kip’s brain was reeling, putting the pieces together slowly. He hadn’t heard anything back from Chuck since he had gotten back from the hospital and replied to the other man’s initial message, having just been left on read. Kip honestly hadn’t expected anything more out of that offer, just assuming in the moment of Chuck hearing that he was going into surgery and holding himself responsible for it, he crumbled and sent the message.

This was the last thing Kip would have expected him to do, and even less so Chuck being the one doing it, especially without Kip asking for that help he was offering.

“Do you want me to chase him out?”

Kip’s widened eyes finally landed back onto Penelope, it dawning on him that he never actually told her that Chuck had reached out to him about the surgery. Maybe it was given, considering how Kip had ended up there and how basically everyone had messaged him about it around that time, so it wouldn’t be as odd to think that Chuck did it too.

Maybe Kip was the only one making it odd and awkward by thinking that it was.

Especially as in the moment he also realized that he never told Penelope that he might have real feelings for Chuck, either.

“Kip?” He blinked at her, but didn’t respond. “I really gotta go, Kris is waiting outside. Just a word and I’ll drag him out with me.”

Kip slowly shook his head, his mind still spinning as he was trying to put the whole situation together. He wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, to keep Chuck at arms reach like this especially if they were going to be alone with just the two of them, but at the same time something was telling Kip that he needed to do this. For the sake of his own sanity, if nothing else.

For the sake of… Whatever this thing was that was wrong with him, as he couldn’t shake off the feeling that all of this was related somehow. And this was as good of an opportunity as any, at least in his mind right then, to try to get at least a little bit closer to some answers. And Chuck himself, for that matter.

“It’s… It’s fine,” Kip finally spoke up, eyes traveling from Penelope to Chuck, who still tried to look interested in anything else in the kitchen than the two of them. A small smile tucked the corner of Kip’s lips, Penelope without a doubt noticing it too as she remained silent, but her eyes surrounded by the perfectly done makeup narrowed slightly. “I’ll see what he wants. I think I can handle it.”

“…Are you sure?” Kip turned back towards her, seeing a real flash of worry in Penelope’s eyes. “After what happened and he… You know.”

Kip watched Penelope motion towards his arm hanging on the sling, the girl biting her lip a little as she was trying to be careful about choosing her next words correctly. “After all of this, are you sure you want to be alone with him?”

He wanted to laugh, but held the sound back, just smiling at Penelope a little, hoping it would melt off at least some of her concerns. They were valid points, Kip admitted that, even if Penelope already knew that what had happened to Kip wasn’t Chuck’s fault in the slightest.

“It’s Chuck Taylor. He wouldn’t hurt an already injured man. It’s all good.”

Penelope clearly wasn’t still entirely convinced of this, but she knew better than to stall the inevitable and continue to debate this with Kip, so instead she just gave a little pat on his healthy arm, offering him a smile. “Just… If he tries anything or you need help, just let me know, okay? I’ll –”

“It’s okay. You go enjoy the day with Kris. Don’t worry about me.”

She honestly wanted to fight him on it, but the smile Kip returned to her made Penelope drop the topic. With a sigh she turned on her heels, eyes landing on Chuck as she approached him on her way out of the kitchen, nudging him closer by tucking the sleeve of his shirt, whispering something to him that Kip couldn’t hear. He could have sworn he saw a quick flash of almost fear in Chuck’s eyes though, making it fairly obvious what sort of words Penelope was giving to him. Chuck just nodded before Penelope let him go, the blonde sending Kip a quick look and a nod before she exited the kitchen, leaving the two men awkwardly standing there as Chuck slowly looked at Kip from across the kitchen island as they both could hear the front door of the house being closed.

“Uh… Hi?”

Chuck waved an awkward hand at him again, Kip forcing a small smile on his lips as he shook his head a little. He honestly felt a little bad for lying to Penelope, as he had no actual idea what it would be like when they were left alone together with just the two of them with Chuck, Kip just assumed that the other man was as well-behaved as he had convinced to himself that Chuck was. After all, there was never an actual intention to hurt Kip, the way things had happened was just an unfortunate coincidence.

“Would you like some coffee?” Kip tried to offer him a smile, motioning towards the coffee maker on the counter next to him with his free hand. Chuck glanced over at it, nodding his head a little, though he was clearly hesitant. Kip returned the gesture, turning on his heels to reach for a coffee cup on the dish drying rack next to the sink before walking over to the coffee maker. Only then it seemed to click in Chuck’s mind that he was basically asking a one armed man for some awkward hospitality, even if it was in his own house, making him quickly round the kitchen island to the coffee maker.

“I got it, I got it,” Kip just smiled at him, Chuck stopping next to him to observe as Kip poured coffee into the cup, easily sliding the coffee pot back into its original place afterwards. “Just because I’m one arm short doesn’t mean I’m completely incapable.”

“I-I know, I was just--”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kip shook his head, trying to keep the smile on his face despite the awkward feel of the moment. He couldn’t get on Chuck’s nerves now, Kip had to remind himself that Chuck was just here to help. To apologize. He was here to make peace, and Kip didn’t need to treat him like the villain of this story that he definitely even wasn’t.

Pushing the thoughts aside from his mind, Kip reached over to the kitchen island, picking the coffee cup he used before into his hand, finishing the coffee in it before pouring himself a new cup. At this point it was more of a formality to keep his hands occupied and hopefully to make Chuck feel a little less awkward than he would be if he was the only one around enjoying a drink, than Kip actually needing another cup of caffeine to get him started on the day.

With Kip taking the charge, he led the two of them out of the kitchen and into the living room, motioning Chuck to take a seat on the couch. Kip wasn’t sure how long he had planned this visit to last, as Penelope had only mentioned that Chuck was here to present him with an apology of some sort. Kip already had a pretty good idea what he was about, the texts he had received from Chuck on the day of his surgery were permanently burned into his mind, and they hadn’t talked about it since Kip had sent him an acknowledging response a day later.

“So how are things?”

Kip looked at Chuck, shrugging a little as he sipped on his coffee.

“You don’t look terrible,” Chuck continued before the silence could linger around them for longer, making anything he said sound desperate and more awkward than it already was. “I mean. For someone who had surgery only like a week ago. Sorry.”

Kip shook his head with a soft chuckle. “Don’t worry, that’s still nicer than anything Penelope has told me all week.”

Chuck hummed a little in response before focusing more on his coffee, but Kip was certain he could see a little smile twitching in the corner of his lips before they disappeared behind the cup. Which was a relief to him, knowing that at least his little quip was funny enough to ease some of the clear tension in the living room. He was getting a good grade in being a good host today.

“Speaking of Penelope.” Kip raised a brow at the sudden direction the conversation was taking, him having not expected it, especially being told earlier what Chuck was here for. “She spends a lot of time here these days, huh?”

Kip’s eyes narrowed a little, him not really liking the tone that such a question was presented to him with, as usually people asking about the relationship between him and Penelope thought there was something more than genuine friendship going on there. Kip would have thought especially Chuck would know better than to ask such questions, him being friends with Kris and all who could have easily told him the true nature of things.

Besides, Kip absolutely did not want Chuck to have the wrong idea about the things that were going on with him and Penelope.

“She’s the one friend that lives close enough to help me out, with, you know, all of this.” Kip motioned at his arm hanging on the sling, watching Chuck nod back to him. “…And you do know she’s dating Kris, right? You’re friends with her, if someone should know, it should be you.”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Chuck muttered, taking another sip of his coffee. “Just… Looking out for her, you know?”

Kip was really hoping that wasn’t actually all Chuck was trying to achieve with that line of questioning, but he remained quiet, both men just focusing on their coffee as the silence finally fell into the living room. Probably with anyone else Kip would have found the silence comfortable, but with Chuck around like this all of a sudden, with minimal explanation on what he was actually doing here after everything, it was just making Kip a bit uneasy. He wasn’t going to push the issue at least immediately, in hopes that he wouldn’t annoy Chuck too much.

Kip finally had some alone time with him. He hadn’t seen Chuck in person for a week and a half, and before that they didn’t spend time together outside of a few rare occasions when they were somewhere with a group of other people. And now he was here, sitting on his couch, drinking his coffee out of one of his coffee mugs, observing his decor in his living room. It was more than Kip had ever asked for, more than he had ever hoped for, and quite honestly with how things had been going the past week, it was something Kip desperately needed.

Having Chuck Taylor in such a close proximity as this was the chance Kip needed in hopes of trying to make all of this right. To make all of this make sense.

“But really though,” Chuck’s voice finally broke the silence again after a moment, almost startling Kip out of his thoughts. “How are you doing? It can’t be easy to deal with everything with one arm.”

“No, not really. Especially when it’s your non-dominant arm.”

Chuck winced a little at the mere thought, Kip just carefully shrugging one shoulder. “Yeah, it sucks, but what can you do. It could be worse, I could have no arms.”

“That would really be the worst case possible, huh?”

Kip chuckled at him, humming a little as he sipped on his coffee again. This seemed to be going well now, at least by his standards. Being able to just joke around like this with someone other than Penelope despite his current condition was refreshing, usually Kip had to deal with people wanting to talk about this topic more seriously than he did. Sure, it was a rather serious situation, he wouldn’t have required surgery otherwise, but that didn’t mean he needed to be all grave and gloom about it at all times. And at least Chuck was throwing that mentality back at him even a little bit, which Kip just found kind of nice.

“I’d imagine you get bored easily, dealing with all of this. Not really being able to do anything and all.”

“Sometimes,” Kip muttered, eyes almost on instinct landing on the tv remote on the coffee table. “Especially if I don’t have any company. You can’t really play games or something with just one hand, so I just end up watching a lot of things. I can’t tell you the amount of shows I’ve binged in the past week alone compared to maybe the rest of my entire life.”

Chuck nodded, silently pondering over his words, Kip picking it up as a sign to continue. “You just kind of realize how used you are to having two functional arms and how much easier even simple household activities are. Cooking is so much easier when you can lift a pot full of water with both hands. Showering feels incredible when you don’t have to be extra careful about your cuts and stitches. Being awake without having to take painkillers, let alone sleeping through the entire night without waking up to excruciating pain… You know what I mean.”

“Yeah…” Chuck’s voice drifted off, Kip stealing a curious glance towards him. Chuck was staring at the bottom of his coffee cup, clearly contemplating on something, and Kip was slightly worried about being able to decipher a look of distress on his face. Kip almost wanted to ask him about it, but thought better of it, not wanting to derail this relatively relaxed conversation to whatever else was in Chuck’s mind. Unfortunately for him, Chuck had other thoughts, as he slowly shook his head, inhaling sharply, Kip’s eyes shooting towards him almost a little bit too quickly.

“Listen, I…” His voice was quiet, Chuck stopping to think again for a moment, not bearing to look back at Kip who he most definitely felt staring at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I never meant to hurt you like that. I’m so sorry about everything that happened.”

His words registered pretty fast, but it still took a moment in Kip’s mind to connect everything together. Biting his lip his eyes shot away from the other man, mentally beating himself up for whatever he said that brought up this topic so suddenly. Kip had wanted to avoid talking about this for as long as possible, of course the moment Penelope had said that Chuck wanted to apologize for something Kip knew this was eventually going to be talked about, but they were having such a nice time just moments before. They were just having a regular conversation, a thing that they rarely ever did together, and it all just felt so nice at least to Kip.

Most importantly right now though, Kip needed to tell him the truth. Chuck still clearly lived with the belief that he had caused all of this, that Kip’s injury was his fault and that it all happened because of the bump he had initiated, even if it was under mutual understanding and agreement. Kip hadn’t talked about it with him so far, having avoided saying anything about it, in texts or in person, kind of just hoping that it wasn’t being brought up. When Chuck had said in the initial text messages that he was sorry, Kip had honestly thought that that was it, especially since they didn’t talk about it after that in the past week at all. Well, they hadn’t talked at all in the past few days to be honest, but that had just solidified it in Kip’s mind that this conversation was over before it even happened to begin with.

Unfortunately for him, he was wrong about it. And now Kip needed to deal with it, and probably face the consequences of not telling Chuck the truth immediately, having left him to live with the regret of causing this much pain and suffering to Kip up until this point. All he needed was to tell Chuck the truth, to be honest about it, to just say it wasn’t his fault. That’s all Kip needed to do.

“It’s…”

Tell him the truth.

“It’s fine. Accidents happen.”

Fuck.

Chuck nodded, somehow looking even more discouraged than he did before. Kip knew exactly why, but he couldn’t bring himself to correct his words.

The only thought in his mind was that if he told Chuck the truth, he would just walk away from him. Just like how he had left Kip on read for a week after reaching out to him when Kip had told him that surgery went well and everything was okay, Kip was afraid that Chuck would leave him now if he knew this wasn’t actually his fault.

It was just a little white lie, and if it was giving Kip a chance to spend time with Chuck, to maybe fix this entire thing, it was worth it all to him.

Almost on cue at the thought, Kip felt a familiar scratching in his throat. Almost as if it was mocking him, making fun of Kip for not being able to tell Chuck what was really going on. The shame gnawing on him on the inside, Kip tried his best to push the feeling aside, letting out a quiet cough, hoping it would help with the growing burning in his lungs.

“It could have happened to anyone. It’s the risk we take.”

Chuck didn’t reply back to him, but he was in deep thought, processing Kip’s words. Kip tried to hold himself back from explaining any further, not wanting to make things sound any worse than they probably already were in Chuck’s mind, him thinking that all this really was his fault. It could lead into something in this scenario that Kip didn’t want, expose his lies or drag him down deeper than he wanted to go with this whole thing, at least for the time being. Maybe eventually he was ready to tell Chuck the truth, if it even mattered at that point anymore.

The honest truth right now was that the less Chuck knew, the better chances Kip had at keeping him close by. And the closer Chuck was to him, the easier it was for Kip to try to decipher this riddle he was living with that included rose petals coming out of his lungs every now and then, but especially when Kip was thinking about the man sitting next to him on the couch just a little bit too long.

He coughed again, watching from the corner of his eye as Chuck shot a quick look that almost resembled worry towards him.

“I’m fine,” Kip smiled a little at him, coughing again. It was getting worse, he could feel it, so Kip quickly pushed himself up on his feet. He could never quite predict when or how forcefully the petals would be pushing out of him, so the sooner he got out of sight before it happened, the better. “I’m just going to get some water. Do you need anything from the kitchen?”

Chuck shook his head slowly, watching as Kip spun around on his heels, making his hurried exit from the living room and into the kitchen. He was barely able to make it back to the sink as he coughed again, loudly and almost violently as the purple tinted petals he was so used to by now appeared again, landing to the bottom of the kitchen sink where the previous pile was still waiting to be cleaned up. Kip tried to keep the noises down, not wanting to draw attention to himself and his condition, knowing how difficult it would be to explain. He struggled with it himself, he had not told Penelope about it, Chuck was the last person Kip wanted to know anything. Especially if this was all caused by him, indirectly or not, as Kip had thought all this occurred.

Kip straightened himself up against the sink, glancing over his shoulder towards the doorway, being quietly thankful that he found it empty. He was worried that Chuck would follow him, especially after the wretched noises Kip was making, just to check on him, but apparently he wasn’t loud enough. That, or Chuck just didn’t care about them, which was a thought Kip immediately pushed away as he could feel it causing more burning in his throat, not wanting to deal with another wave of petals.

He ran the faucet, waiting for the water to turn cold, watching as the flowing water grabbed some of the petals from the sink to play around with. Kip found it odd that every time they got out of him, the petals were almost in near perfect condition – he had never seen one that was torn up, they were almost all identical and symmetrical to one another as far as he had compared, and every time they were almost like freshly plucked straight from a flower. Kip never threw up anything else when the petals exited his body, it was almost like they came from a completely different source than anything else a normal human being would be throwing up.

And as they swirled around in the sink while Kip reached his coffee cup underneath the running water, he thought that in all this time he had never seen one wither away no matter how much time passed. He still had some in the trash from earlier in the week and they still looked exactly the same, hell he kept one petal to examine it later from the first night he threw them up in the hospital, and it remained unchanged since then.

Pulling the coffee cup back to himself, now filled with water, Kip took a sip from it, feeling it make him feel slightly better. The back of his throat was still burning, he could feel the scratching somewhere in his chest, but after ejecting some of the petals again the feeling was milder than before. That’s how it always went, Kip had learned that much. It was one of the two things he could count on, the other one being that somehow whenever his mind wandered off to Chuck, these things started to happen. He understood the connection from what he had been able to discover about this condition, but it still baffled Kip that this could happen in the first place.

Finishing the cup of water Kip poured himself another one, returning to the living room. Before he could get there though, he stopped in the doorway, hearing Chuck talking to someone. Staying out of sight on the side of the kitchen, Kip peeped into the living room carefully, hoping Chuck wasn’t able to see him, spotting the brunet still sitting on the couch, now with his phone pressed against his ear.

“Yeah man, I think I have to stay here for a while.”

Kip’s brows furrowed but he remained silent, his heart doing an extra lap as he realized Chuck’s words. Him? Stay? Here?

“Listen, I don’t really like it either, but… I kinda did promise him that if he needed something, I would be there, since… You know.”

Kip leaned against the door frame, pulling his head back into the kitchen, just sipping on his water and listening. Chuck was right, he had promised that after all. Kip hadn’t said anything about needing help or company today, but apparently Chuck had decided that he needed it. Which Kip was thankful for, more ways than he could express or actually say out loud, honestly.

“Just for today. Look-- Trent, let me finish. I’m just gonna keep him company today, okay? We can do stuff tomorrow. I promise.”

Kip nodded to himself, pushing himself off from the door frame before he inhaled deeply, walking back into the living room as if nothing had happened and he hadn’t heard anything just now. He just smiled at Chuck, who quickly got off the phone as the Brit arrived back, taking a seat on the couch. Kip sipped on his water, not wanting to directly jump into asking Chuck about the call to expose himself as a filthy eavesdropper, but at the same time Kip didn’t really know where to take the conversation from here.

“So uh.” Kip glanced at Chuck, watching the man just shrug a little as his hand reached for the remote on the coffee table, Kip raising a questioning brow at him. “Would you like to… I dunno, hang out or something? Since Penelope isn’t here, so you don’t get bored or whatever.”

Kip took another sip of his water, almost pretending to ponder over the question for a while as Chuck turned the television on without waiting for his answer, surfing through the channels to try to find something interesting enough for both of them to busy themselves with. Of course Kip wanted him around, it had been the only thing he had been thinking about since Chuck showed up unannounced earlier. He was the key to all of this after all, and even if he wasn’t, Kip would be lying if he said that he didn’t want this chance to be around Chuck today. Or any chance that ever presented itself for them to hang out, really.

“Since you’re already here, why not.” Kip kicked himself mentally for trying to sound almost too nonchalant about it. The last thing he needed was to give Chuck the wrong idea about how much he actually wanted him to be there. He had to find the perfect balance, just enough to make sure Chuck knew Kip wanted him, but also that Chuck didn’t know that Kip wanted him. He needed to make that connection, but not ruin it with his over enthusiasm so he wouldn’t preemptively ruin it all. “I also have some games I think you might be interested in.”

Chuck nodded, watching Kip lower the coffee cup from his hand before motioning towards the tv stand and the cabinets underneath it to emphasize his point. As Chuck stood from the couch to check out the selection Kip spoke about, the Brit allowed himself to sink into his own thoughts for a brief moment, trying to convince himself that this was a good idea.

This was what he needed. This was the breakthrough he had been looking for. Chuck Taylor was right there, within his grasp, and all Kip needed to do from this point forward was to make sure that Chuck fell madly in love with him.

[kassil]

Planescape had a point

First, a little bit of explanation for those unaware: Planescape was a setting for 2nd edition AD&D. It is, arguably, one of the most uniquely creative settings ever devised for a D20 system, but that's probably just my love of it and how weird it could get coming through. The important part right now is that it had the Factions - philosophical groups that struggled to manipulate the nature of the multiverse, because belief can alter reality for the Outer Planes.

When it was a new-ish setting and I was deep into it, of course I thought the louder and wilder ones were cool. You know how it is, right? But there was one faction that, these days, absolutely 100% speaks to my very heart - the ominously named Bleak Cabal. You'd expect them to be nihilists with that name, and to a degree they were, but what made them different is that, where everyone else is looking to enforce their philosophy on the multiverse and prove that it's the real truth, the Bleakers looked at everything and went, "Well, doesn't seem to be much of a point to any of this, does there? Hey, buddy, you look hungry, want some soup? And you, gentlefolk, I saw you sleeping in that alley, I've got a spare room you could set up kip in for a bit so you can stay dry."

The Bleakers looked at the multiverse, decided there's no grand meaning or ultimate purposes, and concluded that you should be kind. Everyone's going to be going through the worst of it sooner or later, and it's better to hold out a bowl of hot soup and a warm blanket when they do than it is to mock or belittle them. The world's on fire and in the trash bin, why make it any worse when you don't absolutely have to?

As an elder Millennial, I really like that. The world's on fire and filled with awful things, so why not be kind if you can?

[elfilibusterismo]

hiii this is sort of an embarrassing question but i hope you’ll still entertain it; Do you have any media (books, films, short stories, essays, etc.) which have Tagalog as their base language? I’m trying to up my vocabulary ;’<

not an embarrassing question at all! i'm a little lacking on literature in tagalog and the most that sticks out to me rn is lualhati bautista's dekada 70, but here's a few film recs:

i stand by most films by lino brocka - manila in the claws of light, insiang, bayan ko, fight for us, tubog sa ginto, etc. manila is widely regarded as one of the best filipino films made, big recommend checking it out! i haven't seen some of these but i've heard only good things about them and it's lino brocka, so. yeah

another great filipino director is ishmael bernal. must-sees are the iconic himala and manila by night. mike de leon's kisapmata meanwhile is my favorite filipino film at the moment.

for more recent films, samantha lee's films are a hit or miss for me, but i like billie and emma a lot. lee is openly queer and most of her films center around wlw filipinos. kip oebanda's liway is a great martial law movie and is free to watch on youtube. jerrold tarog also does some good work on heneral luna and goyo: the boy general if you prefer historical films. there's also a lot of free to watch short films on youtube (just type in filipino short film and you'll get a bunch, a lot of them are really high quality); i enjoyed excuse me miss, miss, miss a lot.

EDIT: literature recs in the replies!

[the-kipsabian]

is kip sabian a tumblr sexyman

//kinda heavily edited 7/28/23. im trying to be more neutral about this, still keeping this within just the on-screen character. added in a few more things that are on the list linked below, so the results have actually kinda drastically changed now these are still just my opinions and ofc this doesnt negate how hes really perceived, its just interesting to see this being called out so many times but when you put actual evidence on it, boy how the tables turn lmao

so we all have probably heard the question by now

seeing this post on my dash, i have found resources now to see for myself, collect data and give you the actual result to this burning question

i got you tropes, my takes on them and whether they apply to him under the cut. things to note, this is my personal view tho im trying to keep it neutral, and im only tackling the on-screen character as its been portrayed on tv and some other special occasions when it has specifically shined through (take him invading ocs streams for example)

green is yes red is no yellow is maybe anything in italics are an edit from the original post

4th wall blurring - technically wrestling is already very blurred lines, but take the kip/oc feud for example and the lengths he took it to on social media, twitch etc. outside the ring

Androgynous - arguable, its the eyeliner for me bro. that and the way he carries himself. currently this also includes the hair/hair colors and the eye shadow. gender is a social construct

Animal theming

Angst - it depends how you view it. its not like full blown angst sadness, but it sure does exist, especially with how he talks about himself tbh

Bait - he just organically formed into this shape. i dont believe he specifically designed this style or characteristics to make himself be perceived as a tumblr sexyman

British

Burton

Capitalist

Chaoslord

Chronokinetic

Criminal

Cosmic

Clown

Controversial - i dont know why some of yall hate him so much but apparently people do so. whatever

Deadpan snarker - he can be, but not to a point of a defining character trait

Dealmaker

Detective

DILF - not yet

Distinctive voice - so the source list updated this to feature catchphrases and yes. "embrace the change", "time doesnt heal it changes you", "underrated and over it". you get the deal

Divorced

Dominating - there are cases. but mostly i think hes just a pathetic fool idk. but also this is a theming in wrestling in general so like. go figure

Duality - with and without the box, there is a difference

Egotistical

Eldritch - only in fanon i think ive seen this one. and partially personally applied this one lol (tho i mean idk if we get the box back in some form we might see more hints about this so it might turn into a maybe!!)

Eye imagery

Fanon splintering

Forest Dweller

Gay/LGBTQ+ coded

Girlboss

Glowing neon

Goo

Himbo - okay listen. as much as i would LOVE to mark this one as a solid yes, since we are strictly talking about boxman era and after on-screen kip, this doesnt stand, as he doesnt show himbo behavior on camera. im keeping it as a maybe tho, just for the sake of showing that im aware and i care <3

Hot-headed

Intelligence - also counts for the sub category smartdumb. an idiotic mastermind

Johnlocked - dont get me wrong, ive seen ships, but i dont think its ever been super extensive or overpowering. yall need to work harder lol. unfortunately despite my personal bias and seeing its growth in popularity, i still cannot mark this even as a maybe

Knifemurder

Mad scientist

Magnificent bastard - im just gonna copy the definition here. "As per TV Tropes, a Magnificent Bastard is a "villain (or morally gray character at best) portrayed as confident, charming schemers who thinks on their feet, outsmarts their competitors with style and grace, and remains graceful even in the event of defeat"."

Marked canon/fanon divergence

Monster features

Mysterious - boxhead in the crowd for months building intrigue + the unadvertised meet and greets at events. plus seemingly extensive lore we never get/got, unexplained box mysteries, etc.

Neurodivergent - i was thinking about excluding this, but he talks about his adhd so openly PLUS a big part of boxman came from the depression and anxiety of when he was on the shelf after surgery so. it counts for me

Nonhuman

Object head

Obscured face - technicality, but i count it as he wore the box for so fucking long. we didnt see his actual face for literally a year

Obsessive - HAVE YOU SEEN HOW OFTEN HE TWEETS AT OC i rest my case

Oncelerization

Pale twink - im making a personal decision to say no on this as none of the definitions really hit the mark like, at all. literally the only ones on the list are 'young' and 'dude' like. nope

Parental figure

Parental issues

Pathetic - A THOUSAND TIMES YES

Perpetual smiler - he gets the shit kicked out of him in the ring and still fucking laughs at it on the spot

Power

Power of love - yall have seen penelope, right?

Religious imagery - no, but marking sub category demonic as a maybe since connections to penelope

Retro - this is interesting, im putting it down as maybe since its not really showing but the current design choices with the grayscale gear makes me think about old timey stuff

Robot

Royalty

Scars

Secret agent

Short

Tall - im withdrawing this one, since the definition is "really/abnormally tall" and hes only 5'11 so. this was marked as a 'maybe' before

Teacher figure

Theme song

Thin - "characters that are fairly slim but dont fit under pale twink" i can accept this lol

Traitor/Twist villain

Twisted freaking cycle path

Unkempt

Upper class - i dont necessarily consider it but i guess. keeping this as a maybe since the suit aesthetic is very high class so

Urban legend aesthetics - CRYPTID RIGHTS FOR KIP

Villain/Morally gray/Refined villain/Technically antagonist

Well-dressed/Suitguy/Long coat - suit, pinstripes, long coat. i kind of want to also say the alt fashion counts here since he can be very emo but you know

White twink humanization - all im asking is that you dont humanize that box. please

White hair

29/75 40/75 6/75

final thoughts:

so i see where this thought comes from. he definitely hits like some of the biggest tropes (fancy british man with an object head, a stupidly catchy theme song and catchphrases, a hot wife and a plan to dominate orange cassidy the world), but we are also missing some obvious ones like him being just a stupid murder whore so like. go figure

this is a very subjective list im aware, there are a few things that could probably be seen differently but i, as a self proclaimed Expert And Conspiracy Theorist In The Kip Sabian Space™, will hold this belief system until someone tells me otherwise lmao

anyways this was just for fun dont take this as seriously as i did the first time around lol. enjoy, just dont argue with me. if you need any tropes need explaining, look at the link above and/or just ask and i'll let you know what i was thinking with marking them if there arent notes explaining or if they are confusing

✌

[silverpoints-terminal]

yeah! we’re from your god’s world. niko seems to have also found a way to contact this place-

…ummm… how do i put this… you know the multiverse theory? it’s… not wrong, at least for your world, leading to other niko’s. of course, i doubt they’d contact you if you didn’t want it, but… the opportunity is open!

-ourple anon

//ooc: HI IM ACTUALLY THE ASK-ONESHOT-MESSIAH MOD HENDJENFIE. unless you’re okay with it i will not send an ask as niko

Interesting! Looks like we're all connected in some way...

I remember some theories about the multiverse. George told me about it when she was editing one of the Author's books on speculation. She would talk about it non-stop, no matter how tired.

It is an incredible breakthrough to have this question answered. I would love to talk to Niko if they find the way to contact me.

...

Hang on, does that mean there are multiple Kips!?

[denimbex1986]

'It can be said that Christopher Nolan has always known how to end a movie. From Leonard Shelby concluding his journey where it began and asking “now where was I?” in Memento to the topper that wouldn’t stop spinning in Inception, this is a filmmaker who looks for the most potent image that will burrow its way into audiences’ heads.

Yet the final scene of his most ambitious film to date is something more impressive, if altogether disquieting. Oppenheimer definitely implants a grim idea in the viewer’s mind, but it does so by giving the uncanny impression that we are seeing it through J. Robert Oppenheimer’s eyes first. Standing by the duck pond that Albert Einstein (Tom Conti) has been consigned to by posterity, and where Oppie will be joining him in exile sooner than he realizes, the man credited with fathering the atomic bomb asks if Albert recalls Edward Teller’s theory about a nuclear explosion triggering the end of the world.

“I remember it well, what of it?” Einstein asks. “I believe we did,” Oppenheimer says while an IMAX camera plummets so deeply into Cillian Murphy’s blue eyes that the viewer feels like we are being left to drown in his despair—despair at the prospect of nuclear war, despair at self-annihilation, and the lingering, eternal despair that comes with the realization that for the rest of time on this planet, these weapons will be at humanity’s disposal. It’s a chilling signoff for a film that plumbs the ambiguities of Oppenheimer’s life without offering easy answers. While Nolan made a picture accessible to almost any viewer, he refused to provide any degree of comfort, reassurance, or easily memeable sentiment and message.

Which is one of the many reasons I’ve long been skeptical of the common criticism about Oppenheimer being too long or that “the trial” in the last hour dragged on and on. More than once, I’ve been told the movie could have ended after Trinity, the first successful detonation of a nuclear weapon on July 16, 1945 which is shot and edited with all the tension of a thriller in Nolan and Jennifer Lame’s hands. It should be noted that the Trinity test, and the exuberant satisfaction Oppenheimer briefly feels toward his accomplishment as fellow scientists hoist him on their shoulders before the American flag, occurs at exactly the two-hour mark in the film.

The implication, therefore, seems to be that Oppenheimer should have ended on a note of triumph—a disastrous choice, to put it mildly, for the story of engineering a doomsday weapon—or that the movie could have glossed over Oppenheimer’s later years. Why should we care if Oppenheimer’s security clearance with the Atomic Energy Commission (AEC) was revoked, or that the architect of his downfall, Lewis Strauss (Robert Downey Jr.), suffered his own public humiliation?

The answer, of course, is that it is these turns of events which elevate a riveting piece of biographic storytelling into a cinematic prophecy of doom that on its own will likely be with us for many years to come.

Living with the Bomb

The most crucial thing to understand about why Oppenheimer went on for a full third hour after World War II concluded in the shadow of a mushroom cloud is that there is no credible way to discuss this man without delving into the fact that the government which entrusted him to build the device also pillared and besmirched his name to the point of infamy.

During a panel with Meet the Press’ Chuck Todd on the 78th anniversary of the Trinity test, Nobel Prize Laureate and theoretical physicist Kip Thorne said he knew scientists early in his career who demurred from pursuing a public life in government service or policy-making because of how Oppenheimer was treated.

Said Thorne, “I was as much influenced by my father who dealt with McCarthyism as the chair of a faculty in Utah at the time. We had a governor who was dictating to the board of trustees to fire faculty with left wing tendencies. So I went through this in my own family.”

The implication that Oppenheimer was a traitor, or at least untrustworthy with American secrets due to his political leanings, sent a chill through academia and government institutions that lasted for generations. With a simple letter speciously raising doubts about Oppenheimer’s loyalty to his country, William L. Borden (who was working as a proxy for Strauss) was able to discredit and muzzle the most respected scientific mind of the 20th century in American life; the man who ended World War II and brought our boys home. If the far-right could do that to him because he expressed vocal opinions about the hydrogen bomb, no one was safe.

So any biopic about Oppenheimer legitimately needed to cover a life that eerily matched the arc of Greek tragedy to a tee. After all, historians Kai Bird and Martin Sherwin named their definitive biography on the man American Prometheus, and what is a Promethean tale if you skip the part where the gods condemn him to be chained to a rock so his guts will be pecked out each morning?

Oppenheimer dramatizes these elements, and does so with spectacular detail and specificity. Even biographer Bird remarked with astonishment at the same Trinity anniversary panel that Nolan did something he and Sherwin had not: he went through the transcript of Lewis Strauss’ failed confirmation hearing and discovered a surprise witness named Dr. David Hill (Rami Malek in the movie), who was called on to essentially smear an unprepared Strauss with the same kind of one-sided testimony Strauss used to decimate Oppenheimer in his security clearance hearing five years earlier. The dramatic irony that this was done as revenge by the scientific community against the political class’ most envious party was not lost on Nolan.

In fact, it creates one-half of the climactic crescendo wherein Strauss raves after his Cabinet post begins slipping away that “I gave [Oppenheimer] exactly what he wanted: to be remembered for Trinity! Not Hiroshima! Not Nagasaki! He should be thanking me!” Of course Strauss’ fury also articulates why the film is so much richer and, ultimately, ambiguous. It explores part and parcel the facts of Oppenheimer’s life, and in doing so invites you to descend down into the pits of Hades.

A Trial Without a Jury or a Verdict

The most powerful sequence in Oppenheimer arguably occurs at the top of the third hour. After an exhilarating taste of success and triumph, Oppenheimer is left out of the final, gruesome moments of World War II. Two nuclear bombs fell on the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in the span of three days in August 1945. Two hundred twenty thousand lives were snuffed out in biblical fire or the lingering, years-long horror of radiation poisoning. And J. Robert learns about it just like every other American—by listening to the radio.

Then comes Nolan’s cinematic flourish. He lets you live in Oppie’s nightmare just as it is beginning to coalesce. While giving a patriotic speech crowing about the success of the nuclear weapons’ use on Japanese cities, Oppenheimer’s unconvincing stabs at jingoism fade away as he can only hear the sound of a woman screaming; then comes a bright light as the face of a young girl melts away. It is a new world for Oppenheimer, America, and the whole the human species. But only after he has let the genie out of the bottle does the film’s interpretation of Oppenheimer begin to seriously grapple with the long term ramifications of that release.

There is an argument to be made that Oppenheimer should have shown the nuclear holocaust inflicted on the Japanese people. I respect this opinion, although Nolan’s choice to trap you in Oppenheimer’s large, yet still limited, vantage point is the dramatically right one. It took this scientist years to come to terms with the horror of what he wrought on Japan, and the movie lets it slowly seep in.

There is also the uncomfortable fact that this story is bigger than just World War II. In the film, Oppenheimer considers the irony that his former tutor opined in the press that the nuclear bomb not so much ended World War II as it began what we now call the Cold War with the Soviet Union (which really happened). But the point of the Oppenheimer film is that what those scientists at Los Alamos did was bigger than just World War II or the Cold War—or even the 20th century itself.

Oppenheimer built, sharpened, and fastened a global Sword of Damocles above our collective heads, and it hangs there still. It will, in fact, hang there forever, unless one nation finally pushes the button and invites the inevitable response.

The last hour is about Oppenheimer, as a character and a film, coming to terms with that legacy. This is not a typical biopic about a great man, but a portrait of a soul damned by unspoken regrets and second-guesses that he never articulated to anyone. The film even posits Oppenheimer went through the humiliation of an unwinnable security clearance hearing as some form of penance for fathering the bomb.

“Did you think if you let them tar and feather you that the world will forgive you?” his wife Kitty (Emily Blunt) asks. “It won’t.”

“We’ll see” is Oppenheimer’s cryptic response. While we suspect Oppenheimer’s fight for political survival was not quite so history book-minded, the reality is he truly did tell the President of the United States “I have blood on my hands,” and spent the rest of his brief public life attempting to steer the United States away from the infinitely more deadly hydrogen bomb and the arms race it inevitably courted. He was then banished to the duck pond next to Einstein for his troubles.

Dramatically seeing that destruction is as cathartic as it is disturbing, with Jason Clarke’s government attorney Roger Robb embodying Zeus’ hungry eagle which is always eager to feast on Prometheus’ liver. It should be noted, this context also is what allows Kitty Oppenheimer, a brilliant woman whose mind is left to curdle by the oppressive expectations of her era, to finally speak candidly in one of the best scenes in the movie.

In the end though, the finale asks the audience to interrogate Oppenheimer the man. Can you forgive him? Should you even bother entertaining the idea? The real man never publicly admitted remorse over what happened in Japan, and whether he felt profound guilt or not, he still ushered in a nuclear age without end. There is no escape from the future Oppenheimer has wrought—not even for J. Robert Oppenheimer, who is professionally and spiritually destroyed by the legacy he pursued with wide open arms.

The last hour of Oppenheimer is not about the father of the atomic bomb; it’s about the father of our tomorrow and each and every one that will come after. Until one day, maybe it won’t.'

[cheesy-poofs]

5, 19, 23 for the salty ask!

Thanks for the asks! 💕

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Not that I can recall. I don't let fandom have power over me out of pure spite. I force myself take a step back or take a break if something works me up a lot. I've had times where I've irrationally resented ships because of their popularity and my overexposure to them, I'll admit (you can guess which ones). I don't feel that way about those ships anymore though; for me, frustration typically turns into apathy anyway. I've also come to realize pretty much all popular ships—yes, even my beloved Kyman—have shippers that might make all its shippers look bad. It's just apart of the fandom experience.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Reminder that I haven't been in this fandom for a long time (only around a year now), so perhaps there's long-going issues I'm less aware of. For one, this fandom has some issues that definitely suck, but aren't exclusive to it. Like the beloathed (but now expected) shipping discourse and general harassment/hate.

I'm sure there's worse issues, but what I do loathe (and made a joke post about that got way more notes than I thought it would) is superiority complexes in this fandom. Not as in having your own preferences, but genuinely thinking you're better than others for them. I find it laughable. Yeah its fun to take this show a little seriously sometimes, I fucking love seeing people analyze its characters to death, but when you're constantly trying to argue about ships and characters? For South Park? The show that barely itself seriously and most people hate the fandom of anyway?

I try not to be hypocritical, I've had to remind myself more than once what show I'm watching. Its okay if any of you reading this struggle with it, I get it lol. Every once in a while something stupid irks me and I have to force myself to let it go. It's just how it is, I can't bring myself to spend much time worrying about what other people like. If something really does piss me off (and trust me I have things that do) I either go rant to my best friend, blacklist the fuck out of it, or both. I hope this has been coherent, I'm tired.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Ooh, good question! Honestly the first character that popped into mind is Kip Drordy...you know, the kid from "You Have 0 Friends" because I remember really liking him when I watched the episode (...and kind of relating to him because I was a huge loser kid in school who would honestly act the exact same way if Kyle befriended me on Facebook). I'm pretty sure there's barely any fan content of him despite that being one of the most popular episodes of the show, which is odd. I drew him with Karen a while back, inspired by a moment in "Pajama Day" during Cartman's dream where they were seen talking. Funnily enough, I thought about them being friends before I noticed that moment. I put the drawing under the cut because its from a while back and don't care for it now.

(Edit: It removes the keep reading so nevermind, everyone has to see my trashy drawing of these two)

[lonelier-version-of-you]

About to rewatch S20E10 “Square One”. If I recall correctly this ep is the first time John loses a trial patient, so that should be interesting.

Edit 1: Oh Zav I miss you.

Edit 2: John on his iconic dictaphone. Also watching these episodes knowing what the 8th Doctor’s TARDIS looks like, I’m convinced the whole luminous blue vibe of John’s lab was an intentional shoutout to it.

Edit 3: I love this little Donna and Serena scene.

Edit 4: I really do love me some good morally ambiguous John content. They should’ve kept him this way, it was a lot more interesting than the supervillain direction they took him in.

Also Jac high on pain meds and actually being happy and friendly for once is hilarious.

And, a line from Fletch: “Have I stepped into a parallel Darwin?” Nah, Fletch, the parallel Darwin came later, in 2021 when Sahira was suddenly Henrik’s childhood friend for some reason.

Edit 5: We went from a Zav scene to a Jason scene just now. What a downgrade.

Also, gah, Jason: “Prison should be for bad, dangerous people, not good people like Ric who are just doing their best!” WHY DOES HE TALK LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD IT’S SO ANNOYING. I know we autistics tend to have different speech patterns but the way to write that is not to write dialogue on literally the same level you’d write dialogue for a neurotypical child character.

Edit 6: I love Roxanna’s blouse in this ep.

Edit 7: Absolute legend Ken Davies is back! I’d forgotten he was in this ep!

Edit 8: Jac is so fucking beautiful. She literally looks like a goddess or something.

Edit 9: John was SO blatantly severely mentally ill the whole time why did no one intervene??

Also lol @ Ollie joking about his lack of motor skills to Lofty the dyspraxic man.

Edit 10: When Jac said “it’s miraculous what a full 5 hours’ kip can do for you” I felt that.

Edit 11: I actually agree with Serena on something for once - the ‘Ric in prison’ storyline WAS “utter madness”.

Edit 12: The Rox and John dynamic was really fascinating. Also, John’s body language is VERY Henrik-esque in this episode.

And why does John talk like me? “There’s been no improvement, alas!” 😂

Edit 13: This episode is Jason in his 5-year-old era and not in a realistic developmental delay way (look at someone like Chantelle, she was autistic coded and “childish” but wasn’t written like an actual child) but in a ableist writing way.

Edit 14: ZAV!! I love his outfit in this ep. Also, it’s truly amazing how much character development he had when he was only on the show for 2 years.

Edit 15: Interesting dialogue. Rox: “I would err on the side of caution.” John: “You always do.”

Edit 16: Love the Jac and Ken banter. “I did the best I could, but despite my efforts, you pulled through.”

Edit 17: Rosie Marcel is SO good.

Edit 18: Zav was such an asshole when he first started out.

Edit 19: John on the dictaphone again!

Edit 20: John’s despair about the trial failing reads differently looking back after the later reveal that it was all about trying to save Lana.

Also, him lying to Essie and saying the implant didn’t fail... oof.

Edit 21: Very visible anxious stimming from John when his patient goes into arrest.

Also fuck I basically stole this scene for my one unfinished fanfic without remembering. I hope everyone thinks it was a deliberate parallel lmao.

Edit 22: I think the patient’s mum is doing a guest-character-speaking-for-staff member moment when she’s talking about the trial to John: “I didn’t think of the risks.”

Edit 23: Paul McGann is an INCREDIBLE actor.

Edit 24: John not wanting to bother Henrik by calling him about the Medical Director job :’))

Also, funny thing is, when John said he just wants what’s best for his patients I do believe he genuinely thought that.

Edit 25: HENRIK

Edit 26: “Meetings, paperwork... hardly John’s field of expertise, is it?” Lmaooo

Edit 27: I love early John with the curly hair.

Edit 28: John is very very good at manipulating people, whether he’s using it for good (as he is in this case - seeking the Medical Director job and talking Serena into giving it to him so he can help Roxanna fight for the TMS for Ollie) or not. One has to think Henrik picked up some techniques from him. I mean, the Henrik we saw in the flashback episode couldn’t manipulate anyone if he tried, I don’t think.

Edit 29: Lofty saying he’s not like Isaac aged poorly :(

Edit 30: Zav showing a moment of tenderness towards Nicky.

Edit 31: John on Henrik: “He’s like the rest of us. Lost without a stethoscope.”

Edit 32: Serena saying she’d cheerfully hand Gaskell the CEO job. That’s so fucking funny in hindsight of how John turned out.

[underratedandoverit]

a connection

~1,1k words orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)

i dont know what compelled me to write this or why it exists. it just does now i guess. just. yeah. idk getting tad bit more out of my comfort zone or something maybe, but its just relationship stuff

theres like nothing here, implied stuff with basically fade to black and kip says fuck once, as per usual. i also didnt edit this or barely proofread it so what you see is what you get tonight sorry

on ao3

---------------------------

Kip had had a strange feeling all night. Every time he caught Cassidy looking at him, the eyes lingered on him just a little bit too long, oftentimes looking at him over the top rim of the sunglasses, just observing. It wasn’t unnerving to Kip or anything, but he had been around the blond long enough to know that when he was silently begging attention like this, it usually meant something was off.

And Kip knew it was hard to get him to talk while they were at work, so he had to wait until the end of the night to get to the bottom of this.

As time passed, it was getting harder and harder to hold himself from pressing forward with this. Every time they passed each other in the hallway, Kip could feel Cassidy’s fingers reaching for him, brushing against his arm, the back of his hand almost in an attempt to hold his hand in that fleeting moment. They never exchanged words throughout the day during these moments they crossed paths, but it was so obvious that Cassidy wanted something from him.

Craved, even.

He wasn’t sure what was the correct time to become concerned about all of this, but the moment he was greeted by Cassidy at the rental car at the end of the night and wasn’t given a kiss as the blond instead immediately walked around the car and sat on the driver's seat, Kip had so many questions run through his head. Hesitantly taking a seat in the car after loading in their bags, he tried to observe the side of Cassidy’s face, without getting any clues to what was rattling around in his mind.

“Is everything okay?”

Cassidy didn’t respond back to him, his eyes barely glancing down as Kip reached for his hand, taking a hold of it finally, after what felt like hours of not being able to do that. Cassidy’s fingers immediately intertwined with his, holding his hand almost a little bit too tight, like he was afraid that letting go meant something horrible.

Kip could have sworn there was a faint layer of blush on Cassidy’s cheeks, but it was hard to tell in the dark car in the terribly lit parking garage. He could, however, see the way Cassidy was clearly biting his lower lip, holding something back.

“Clementine.”

He remained silent, only moving their hands to Kip’s lap as he started the car. Kip knew better than to try to disrupt him while Cassidy was driving, letting the topic go for the time being. The ride to the hotel wasn’t that long, and they were sharing a room, so him getting some answers if he could just make sure they had a safe ride ahead of them was still in the books for tonight.

Carefully untangling Cassidy’s hand from his, almost feeling afraid that one would hurt the other with how tightly Cassidy was holding his hand, Kip watched as the other man didn’t retreat his hand to himself. Instead he opted to leave it on his thigh, almost deliberately holding it, his thumb running along on top of it, the rest of his fingers every now and then drumming against the inner side.

Kip tried to ignore it to the best of his ability, knowing doing anything about it now or bringing it up in the car wasn’t going to help the case. He could have just moved his hand away, taken a hold of it again, but it felt disruptive to the moment. He didn’t mind it, but at the same time it felt like an awfully uncharacteristic set of actions for Cassidy.

They drove in silence, Kip’s eyes focusing on the boring city views barely changing outside his window the couple of agonizingly long minutes they drove to the hotel. The lobby was near empty, the silent elevator ride up to their floor as they held hands and Cassidy’s fingers were drumming the back of his hand were driving him insane. Kip knew to save all the questions for when they were actually alone in the room without a chance of getting interrupted, but the way to get up there seemed to be endless.

As they finally stepped inside the room after Cassidy managed to fumble with the key cards for a solid two minutes, with a heavy sigh Kip closed the door after him, pushing his luggage to the foot of the bed.

“Alright, what the fuck is going on?”

Before getting his answer, Kip watched the familiar jean jacket getting thrown onto the bed past him, making him raise a brow. As he turned on his heels to face the blond, Kip was immediately pulled into a kiss by a hand on the back of his head, with the other hand Cassidy starting to peel him out of his own jacket.

The sudden kiss being pressed on his lips so fast didn’t allow Kip’s brain a choice to resist, immediately melting him against it. Helping Cassidy get him out of the jacket, as soon as it was thrown somewhere on the floor Kip could feel both of the blond’s hands on his face, pulling him closer. He allowed the kiss to deepen as Cassidy’s almost hungry demeanor was begging for more, gently but firmly licking his lips before Kip allowed him to slip past them.

He felt Cassidy pushing him slightly, his legs hitting the end of the bed as he backed Kip up, sitting him down on the bed. Making sure to not break the kiss apart at any point Cassidy easily followed him down, straddling on his lap. Kip’s arms attempted to wrap around him, only for Cassidy to remove his hands from his face, grabbing his hands and with one fell swoop easily pushing him down back against the bed, pinning Kip’s hands above his head.

They parted for a moment, each man catching their breath as Kip looked up at the already disheveled blond hovering over him, letting out a soft chuckle.

“Oh. So that’s what this was about.”

Cassidy leaned closer, stealing another kiss from his lips. Passionate, but not long enough, just a lingering one to leave Kip crave for more.

“Shh,” he whispered into his ear, sending little shivers down Kip’s spine. He knew the rough tone Cassidy was using at that very moment, being very well aware what it was leading up to if things were to continue this way. “No talking. Just enjoy it.”

Even if he would have wanted to, Kip didn’t have a chance to respond as Cassidy leaned over for a kiss, this time not pulling away.