#kira nerys my little terrorist

[captainkaseykirk]

Sometimes I reblog my own posts when I follow a new person with cool content in an effort to signal “hello yes I am also very insane about this we should be friends” in case they look at my account. Like a mating call but in a platonic way.

[animentality]

Kira Nerys be like hello, I am the most nationalistic bajoran you will ever meet, which includes being very religious and also a terrorist and also a little suspicious of other races. But here is my adopted father, Ghemor, who is Cardassian, my adopted daughter, Tora Ziyal, who is both Cardassian and Bajoran, and a son that I actually gave birth to...but he's not bajoran at all, he's Japanese-Irish.

Also my boyfriend is goo.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Kira Nerys

By Ames

We’re moving on in our character spotlight series from our favorite war criminal captain to one of the most well developed characters from the onset, Colonel Kira Nerys. From the moment we meet her in “Emissary,” we know exactly who Kira is, and the show wisely sends her on a complex journey within that grey area between terrorist and resistance fighter. Get you a Bajoran who can do both.

Ensign Ro may have set the mold for the Bajorans, but Kira grew outside of it and we’re so glad to get her perspective. So pick up your Bajoran phaser and get ready to take aim at some fascists as we celebrate A Star to Steer Her By’s favorite crinkly-nosed, red jumpsuit-clad militia officer in our Best and Worst Moments list below and on this week’s podcast (jump to 56:47). Walk with the Prophets, my child.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

What other show gives you a zombie space pope? There’s more going on for Kira in season one than for other characters because she really rocks it from the start. And Nana Visitor has the chops to give that special nuance to a character like this, especially in emotional scenes like her breakdown when she accidentally gets Kai Opaka killed in “Battle Lines,” and the moment she has with her reanimated corpse is nothing short of stunning.

If I leave here, I’ll die Speaking of great moments from season one, Kira makes the hard decision in “Progress” to save Mullibok’s life by ruining said life. Over the episode, she bonds with the obstinate Jeraddo farmer by helping him build his kiln only to destroy it in the end and set fire to his house to force him to relocate, and it’s clear it tears her up inside. Bajorans really never win.

Enough good people have already died. I won’t help kill another. But perhaps the best thing to come out of the season (and to some, the whole show overall) is her character arc in the stunning “Duet.” Kira spends so much of the show battling her Cardassian demons (figuratively and literally), that seeing her grow to accept that some individuals may be redeemable is captivating, heart-breaking, and truly impressive (and have we mentioned it’s only season one?).

A new meaning to being selfish We would be remiss if we didn’t include at least a mention of the excellent and mesmerizing performance Visitor gives as Intendant Kira in episodes like “Crossover.” Say what you will about the mirror universe (and we have), but Kira is a wonder to behold and the chemistry between her and herself is like lightning in a bottle. Zap!

Cardassians LOVE cosmetic surgery Speaking of mirrors, imagine waking up and the face looking back at you in the mirror is the thing you hate most. Kira’s relationship with Cardassians continues to evolve in the wondrous “Second Skin,” in which she bonds with her fake daddy Tekeny Ghemor, foils a Cardassian plot, and discovers a resistance cell within Central Command – her favorite!

I was playing a married woman This is one of those cute little Kira moments from the show that tickles us, but in “The Way of the Warrior,” it is just too hilarious that her response to being wooed by Lancelot (assumably while playing Guenivere) in the holodeck is to slug him. It’s so in character that we have to applaud it. Kira is always the first to choose violence, after all, though sometimes that can be a downside.

Major, tell me another story Kira spends the second half of “Starship Down” tending to a badly concussed Sisko, and working through character conflict. As I harped on in the Sisko post, Ben is double-fisting roles as both space station commander and Emissary to the Prophets, and that comes with deep significance to Bajorans like Kira, and this is her chance to talk to him about it. Love that for her!

The life you’re choosing isn’t for her There are a ton of great moments between Kira and Ziyal, from saving her life in “Indiscretion” to encouraging her painting in “Sons and Daughters,” but the one we’re highlighting comes from “Return to Grace.” Kira sees that Ziyal is on a dangerous path if she stays with her father, and the bond they’ve established makes her advocate she move to DS9. There’s truly no safe space for the girl, but Kira does all she can.

The baby just had a change of address Thank the Prophets the show didn’t introduce yet another baby when Nana Visitor got IRL pregnant. That’d be way too many babies, so it was rather ingenious to move the O’Brien baby over to Kira in “Body Parts.” And it also highlights just how like family this crew has become. Kira really takes one for the team by agreeing to incubate Kirayoshi for Keiko. Now if only their characters talked more…

I owed it to my father to get it right this time Yet another great character-development episode for Kira comes in “Ties of Blood and Water” when she learns that Tekeny Ghemor – her fake dad and one of our favorite Cardassians! – was up to some shady stuff in his past. And while this alters the relationship between the two of them, Kira again accepts how he’s changed since then to be with him as he dies.

Romulans gotta scheme! Come season seven, the Romulans have gotten added to the mix thanks to some nefarious doings by Sisko and Garak. And Kira is left to deal with their constant scheming. Typical Romulans! Throughout “Image in the Sand” and “Shadows and Symbols,” Kira stares down Senator Cretak in a huge game of galactic chicken, and Cretak blinks first.

Don’t drink the Kool-Aid Our final great Kira moment is also the last time she ever sees Dukat. In “Covenant,” he’s leading his own little pah-wraith cult, and when the going gets tough, the tough gets really Jonestown-y. Kira literally leaps in and stops the whole assembly from ritual suicide, revealing that Dukat had a placebo pill for himself and he’d had them all charmed. Stupid sexy Dukat.

—

Worst moments

Maybe the ends justify the means? One of Kira’s strengths is also frequently one of her biggest faults, and that’s how very wide her ethical grey area is. She’s able to justify doing lots of pretty messed up things, like a certain captain I could name, and we see this pretty early on in “Babel” when she intentionally infects Surmak Ren with aphasia disease and holds him hostage to find a cure. That’s pretty brutal.

Bajor is not Kentanna For most of “Sanctuary,” it’s rather nice watching Kira befriending Haneek and the other Skrrean refugees. Until they express interest in immigrating to Bajor, and then Kira’s NIMBY side really comes out. It’s not a good look, Kira, especially for someone whose people were in a very similar plight until very recently. And frankly, Bajor could use the laborers.

It’s like stepping on ants, Odo Because of that wide ethical grey area, we’ve noticed that Kira is almost always the first person to advocate just killing whatever the danger of the week is, no matter the consequences. In “Playing God,” an episode about killing Cardassian voles, she’s quick to jump to the option of killing the tiny proto-universe, even when Dax expresses she’s found sentient life in it. Yikes.

The people have chosen Winn We know from “Battle Lines,” mentioned earlier, that Kira has a super soft spot for Kai Opaka, and also probably feels guilty for trapping her on zombie planet a little. But it’s just a bad idea to let Bareil take the fall for some shady doings in “The Collaborator” because it sets up Winn for the win (wow, I didn’t even try to do that) in the big kai election, lest she sully Opaka’s name.

The distant memory of a touch It would be an understatement to say Kira’s taste in men isn’t great (and that’s not even including the fascist she ends up with!). The first of her various men is Bareil, who’s fine but boring as hell. Certainly not worth forcing Julian to keep him alive against all his medical ethics in “Life Support.” But Kira’s into the vedek, so we’re forced to watch her push his existence to the edge of morality and cringe at what he’s becoming.

Do you like me? Check yes or no. Lucky for us, Bareil is a thing of the past by season four (for now), opening up the opportunity for Kira to make more bad dating decisions. While Odo weeps, she sets her sights on Shakaar in “Crossfire” and viewers at home roll our eyes at how high school the whole ordeal is. Why have these resistance cell leaders downgraded to petty relationship drama? It’s beneath them.

Kira’s edgy artist phase We’ve said it myriad times before, but Bajor is a cultural disaster. When Akorem shows up in “Accession” and declares he’s making Bajor great again by reinstating their rigid caste system, it’s clear that Kira is uncomfortable but still refuses to oppose it. This is a Sisko episode, after all. Even though she can’t sculpt worth a damn, she goes along with the d’jarras like a sheep.

A little lower While Kira is surrogating the O’Brien baby, she and Miles randomly develop feelings for each other only because of their constant proximity in “Looking for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places.” That’s just gross and unnecessary. Nothing again Miles, but men and women are allowed to be friends without wanting to bone. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones.

The phantom of Cardassia This one always bothered me. After several seasons of growth as a character, Kira seemed to have chilled out a little in her constant desire to murder Cardassians. So when “The Darkness and the Light” introduces a blast from the past whom Kira would otherwise have at least some empathy for, it strikes me as a character regression for her to fall back on thoughtlessly killing like she used to.

Same face, different universe Kira regesses again in “Resurrection” when a new Bareil is barking up her tree. Oh mirror universe, what have we done to deserve this? Sure, mirror Bareil is at least less bland than the original recipe, but who the hell is this Kira immediately falling for a boy in less than a day? That’s just not the character (that’s Jadzia, if anyone, whom we’ll discuss next week). Kira’d kick his ass.

That’s not what your mom said last night I may have given Sisko a little bit of guff for allowing this too, but I’ve got to give Kira even more. Whose first reaction when Dukat makes a yo mama joke in “Wrongs Darker than Death or Night” is to GO BACK IN TIME to check  on your mother’s sexual history??? What the hell, Kira??? Now the bigger debate is whether she should or shouldn’t have blown Dukat up. And fight.

Foul ball! Finally, I need to continue venting about “Take Me Out to the Holosuite.” Somehow, Ben held tryouts on a station full of beefy Bajorans, and still put Kira on his baseball team when she can’t even catch a ball. Kira plays springball in her spare time. She’s a resistance fighter. She was raised to have street smarts. How in the firecaves does she not know how to catch a freakin’ ball???

—

Praise be to the Prophets, that’s all! Keep your subspace communicator focused here for more character spotlights. We have someone who’s multiple characters in one next week when we discuss Dax! You can also go to warp five with us in our watchthrough of Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, grab some hasperat with us on Facebook and Twitter, and maybe take up sculpting if it’s something you’re actually into.

[biblicallyaccurateandrogynoussex]

now allow me to fill you in on our cast of characters, all with a healthy dose of found family. (note that if i say a sexuality or anything of that sort its likely a headcanon, this show was made in like the 80s or 90s)

Captain Benjamin Sisko: human. he's like. the only one on this show who isn't some flavor of queer. he's the supportive ally and also very dadcoded (but also has like. an actual son. his name is jake and someone compared me to him once). sisko is in charge of the station! he calls all the shots and is also apparently part bajoran god? he also really likes baseball! one time (in the middle of space war) he taught all his senior officers how to play baseball so he could be petty and win against some dude he didnt like.

Colonel Kira Nerys: bajoran! she's definitely lesbian. she also used to be a terrorist, but now she's second in command! shes got a very queer relationship with the science officer, jadzia dax. her character is really fun. she's technically not a part of starfleet, since she still works for bajor, and that means she gets to bend the rules a little bit. she's stubborn, and her temper can run a bit high, which provides for a contrast with sisko. canonically, shes with odo, and their relationship is the most boring EVER except for when they got together that was so fucking funny

Doctor Julian Bashir: MY SKRUNKLY!!!! he's just a human guy but he's genetically modified because his parents are ableist! he's definitely autistic, transgender, AND bisexual. and when he was a kid, he was special needs, and learned very slowly, and his parents HATED that so they illegally turned him into a super human intelligence wise (and BECAUSE it's illegal, he hides this for most of the series). he aslo CANNOT stop committing medical malpractice and flirting with his patients its awful. hes got a Very Very Homoeroitc relationship with one Elim Garak, who refers to him consistently as "my dear doctor" (they're clearly fucking).

Chief Miles O'Brien: human, literally just some guy, goes through The Horrors regularly. i wish i could remember some of the shit the writers put him through because they do him SO dirty every time there is an episode centered around him. he's the maintenance guy and he technically isnt even an official officer. he was also on a previous show, star trek: the next generation. he's got a wife and kids and a Weird relationship with bashir. theyve at least explored each others bodies.

Jadzia Dax: i forgot her rank. actually. but she;s trill! the trill are weird because there are the PEOPLE and then there are the worms (symbiotes or however its spelled) and you can choose to get joined with a worm or not. jadzia is joined so shes got a shit ton of memories of like 7 other people (kinda systemcore /projecting) and she's best friends with sisko. she's the science officer and canonically gets with worf. they get married, their relationship is... interesting? she's very fun tho, shes got tons of skills from her worms knowledge and she regularly wins at gambling.

(THERE ARE MORE IM SENDING ANOTHER ASK AND PRAYING THIS ONE DOESNT GET EATEN)

I love the comments on how some of these guys have explored each other's bodies. Also we love queer coded guys and system coded guys. Obsessed with their names they're like so normal but to the left

[ofhouseadama]

DS999999

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

my terrible son, Elim Garak, honorary mention to my terrorist daughter and his best worstie, Kira Nerys

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

my less terrible son but still a war criminal, Julian Bashir

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

NOG, THE MOST PRECIOUS OF BEANS

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

unfortunately the answer to this is Tora Ziyal, who was woefully misused and also should not have died for Dukat's sins. but also: Tekeny Ghemor and Natima Lang. i am not a scalie but i do love my dissident Cardassians

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Weyoun. the whole production line

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

survey says Odo, unfortunately. top notch plink horse, made of goo

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Dukat. straight to super hell. also Tain? straight to mega super hell. Mila is in thin ice which might be my true unpopular opinion in this fandom

[weerd1]

Star Trek DS9 Rewatch Log, Stardate 1904.22: Missions Reviewed, “The Emissary,” “Past Prologue,” and “A Man Alone.”

I have never made any secret of the fact that Deep Space Nine is my favorite of the Star Trek series. Though the show was derided by Trekkies for years, I came around fairly early, won over by wonderful performances and character development, and the nascent appearance of something that would become standard on TV in just a few years, but was pioneered here: story arcs. I have often told my fellow Trekkies, if you really want to appreciate what DS9 does, don’t pick out ONE good episode; watch all 173 of them.

The show ran from 1993-1999 and my early military career created a lot of obstacles to finding them all.  However, a growing home video market (“wait, you can buy ENTIRE tv shows on DVD????”) allowed me to catch them all, and what a treat it was! I realized recently I had not watched all of DS9 in probably 15 years; I’d last watched them all while “Enterprise” was still on (speaking of things I need to rewatch…).  So, on a whim this week, given that DISCO has gone on hiatus after a second season that found its footing to be a lot more sure than its first season, I decided to see how a couple of decades changed how I see DS9. So here we go:

“The Emissary:” I remembered this one being very cerebral, and that hasn’t changed.  We get good introductions to all of the characters, and watch Sisko come to terms with what he had lost to the Borg (and an assimilated Picard) at Wolf 359. My wife Jennifer (who bless her soul is sitting through this with me, particularly since DS9 is HER favorite Trek too) pointed out something that works very well here and holds up:  Ben Sisko and his relationship with his son Jake.  Jake is still really a child here, and having kept up with Cirroc Lofton over the years, it’s hard not to be taken aback by how young he seems.

  Along with that, all of these characters are still just appearing on stage, trying to find their voice- except of course O’Brien who has been at this fairly regularly on TNG. In the end we get the ingredients for an interesting political allegory for an oppressed people finding freedom, the role a superpower like the Federation should play in nation building, and a mix of politics, religion, and character conflict that neither TOS nor TNG was quite willing to take on. DS9 has not found its potential in “The Emissary,” but the pot is put on to brew.

“Past Prologue:” One of the early reasons I began to admire Kira Nerys as a character, we see another Bajoran freedom fighter come on the station, and he may in fact still be in the terrorist business.  Kira has to look at her past and what she wanted to accomplish then versus now, and make a choice as to what she wants to see a liberated Bajor be.  There’s a quick TNG tie-in with short appearances by Lursa and Betor, the Duras sisters from the TNG Klingon arcs (also written by Ron D Moore) and we see a Cardassian Gul played by Vaughn Armstrong. He will later play Admiral Forrest in ENTERPRISE, but that’s just one of TWELVE different roles Armstrong has played across Trek. 

Let’s hope he gets a chance to show up on DISCO too.  Speaking of Admirals, the Starfleet flag officer we see here is played by Susan Bay Nimoy. She’ll make an appearance in a later episode as well. Perhaps most importantly though, we meet a Cardassian tinker and tailer, and perhaps once a soldier but certainly no spy, plain simple Garak. Knowing he will become one of DS9’s best characters, watching him just kind of be making excuses to hit on Bashir is pretty funny.

Then, “A Man Alone:” Odo is framed for the murder of a former troublemaker released from prison by the new provisional government. The plot is a little too perfect though, and it’s Bashir through SCIENCE who finds the victim is in fact a clone, killed by the original criminal so he could set up Odo. And yes, apparently you can both go to jail for killing your own clone, and Bashir can accidentally make a whole new person in his lab while proving what was going on, and that clone is just going to go join Bajoran society. This one is curious for its B-story as Chief O’Brien’s wife Keiko decides to open a school, and tried to convince the “Ferengi Pit Boss” from the pilot episode, Rom, to send his son Nog (nephew of course to Quark) to the human school.  Max Grodénchik and the writers have not yet settled on Rom as the adorkable yutz we will know him as later, and he’s more of the stereotypical Ferengi.  

The blossoming Jake/Nog friendship though is a delight, particularly knowing where those characters are going.

Next Voyage: “Babel,” where someone FINALLY acknowledges everyone in the Galaxy doesn’t just speak English!

[hannah-deserved-better]

My RPers may have noticed that I tend to stick to writing female characters and women.

 I prefer m/f or f/f pairings and rarely am willing to write anything that doesn’t have at least one woman in it. This isn’t due to sexual preferences, although I do tend to prefer m/f simply because I am a woman married to a man and that’s what I know. But really, it has more to do with the fact that I really just love to play women. I like to either play them or work with someone else who play them. It’s because I just feel comfortable with women for a lot of reasons.

I was raised in a female dominated family. Most of the men, my own father included, weren’t exactly role models and didn’t stay in my life for long. Those men that were around were very honorable and always knew how to treat a woman. I am one of three sister and my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunts, cousins, etc. are all very formidable women. My great grandma was in my life until I was about 25. I grew up on her stories. The women in my family don’t take crap from anyone and never have. I’ve always looked up to that and not only did I have this influence in my own family, but I also had it in my fandoms. I grew up watching strong women in my fandoms and I still appreciate the strong bad ass woman even in shows like Supernatural where most of the main characters are men. I still picked out the women in that show to be my favorite characters.

Here’s an example of my favorite women from each of my fandoms:

Dr. Beverly Crusher: (Star Trek: TNG) TNG aired when I was only 3 years old and I loved it from the beginning. Star Trek was the best way for a little girl to grow up, it taught me so much about treating people with respect and doing what’s right. And it all started with Dr. Crusher. I was just a little girl when I watched her on TV and I saw her be such a tough influence on the show. She was independent, caring, strong willed, and brave. As a doctor, she put her patients needs first, always, and often put her own life at risk to save them. She never gave up, even when things were really hard.

Major Kira Nerys: (Star Trek: DS9): I watched DS9 during my preteen and early teenage years. It aired in 1993 when I was 10 years old. It took me a little while to get into it because I was still grieving over TNG ending. But when I did, I was so glad I did. Major Kira was a force to be reckoned with. She had a harsh life and grew up to be a terrorist. A freedom fighter trying to rid her planet of an oppressive occupation, she did some things she’s not proud of in the name of that fight. She planted bombs, went on raids, etc. She lived in caves, was always starving, she knew how to fight when she was 5 years old. She is so tough. She started the show as an angry young woman still shell shocked after the brutal occupation was finally over. As the show progressed, Kira really evolved. She became less adversarial, but she never lost that tough freedom fighter spirit. She also had this unwavering faith in her beliefs that she held onto; it guided her.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: (Star Trek Voyager): I was in my early twenties when I started to watch Voyager for the first time. It had already ended by that point, so I watched it as reruns. Captain Janeway had to lead a group of humans through a hostile part of space, facing all sorts of odds and obstacles. She had to be brave and strong to take care of her crew. She loved her crew and cared for them like they were her children. She put their safety first before her own and often took risks with her safety for them. She was always there when anyone on that ship needed her and she tried her best to be an example of humanity. She made mistakes, plenty of them, but that’s what made her such a strong character. Sometimes she went too far and held too firm to her ideals and her strict adherence to her principles, but she always learned from her mistakes in the end and grew as a person as a result of those mistakes.

Dana Scully: (X-files): I didn’t watch X-files until I met and started dating my husband and he introduced me to it. It was his favorite show growing up. Dana Scully was a woman trying to make it in a field dominated by men (the FBI). She had to be tough, independent, and strong willed and she certainly was. She always clung to her science and her belief systems even when the things she saw while working with Mulder challenged everything she held dear. She listened to reason, but she was always able to keep an open mind about things which I think is what Mulder appreciated about her. She liked to do things on her own, she saved Mulder’s life many times in the show, and damn that man knows how to say the most romantic things to her, haha. But that’s beside the point.

Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer): Again, Buffy was another show that I didn’t really get into until my husband and sisters sat me down and made me watch it. I loved Willow. I may be biased because I am pagan and I enjoyed the whole witchcraft aspect of her personality. But nerdy Willow totally related to me. She is book smart and intelligent. She reminds me of myself back in high school because let’s admit it, in high school, especially back then in the 90s, it wasn’t ‘cool’ to be smart. It was way more important to be sexy and attractive. But Willow taught us girls that it was actually okay to be smart and an intellectual. She spoke to nerds everywhere.

Hannah (Supernatural): anyone who follows my blogs should have seen this one coming. Hannah the angel in seasons 9 and 10 is absolutely my favorite female character on the entire show. And yeah, I’ll actually admit that I am actually very new to Supernatural. I only watched it for the first time last year (autumn of 2017). But I caught on quick and of course I found the forgotten, unpopular character (and pairing) and saw her true potential and fell in love with her. Hannah really deserved so much more than what she got from the show. She was such a relatable character. For me, as someone with autism, she spoke to me even more than the other characters of my other fandoms did because she was a character who was just like me. She evolved as a character, she was strict in her belief in law and order, unwilling to waver in her adherence to her principles, but as she got to work close to Castiel, and spent time on Earth, she began to open up. She was one of the few angels to display true emotions from the very start and I think that made her unique among angels. It was also her greatest strength and her flaw. Her emotions made her impulsive, quick to anger, and caused a lot of internal conflict. She was even willing to consider releasing Metatron just to save Castiel, she was willing to risk so much to save him. She was brave, strong willed, and caring, and she had that adorable lost clueless angel thing that we all love about Cas going for her too. She had so many dimensions, she was just such a well developed character.

So yeah, that about covers it. I love my women characters and I don’t apologize at all for loving them. And yes I totally love bad ass men as well, but seriously, these women deserve the world.

Also, one other note to my most important fandom: Star Trek was seriously my salvation growing up. It made me who I am today. It taught me right from wrong, it taught me to respect everyone and be tolerant of people’s differences. It taught me the value of hard work. It was my comfort in those dark times of my life. I cannot speak enough about this show and every little girl should be allowed to grow up that way.

[gplusbfics]

1994 Interview All About Garak & Andrew Robinson

I’ve seen this great interview posted a bunch of times online, but it’s alway seems to be as graphic scans, which I have a hard time reading, so when I actually got my hands on DS9 magazine Vol. 9, 1994, I was psyched. I could read it AND I could scan it! So here it is, with all the text, plus photos. I’ll be posting the photos all separately afterward, including a few that don’t fit. Enjoy!

I love Garak and Andy so much. Also, I love that this interview is all after Season 2 (and I believe before Season 3 aired), so you have Robinson saying things like “I wish I’d get to do more plots with Rene and Avery!” and “It’s going to really interesting when Garak’s secrets come out!” He he. It’s really zero surprise he wound up writing a book. Or that the book would be well written -- he uses great words in the interview, just popping in stuff like “apotheosis.” 

-Wendy 

According to his former superior in the Obsidian Order, Garak has a "rare talent for obfuscation." The same, fortunately, cannot be said of the man who plays him, Andrew Robinson. Given the chance, he willingly expounds upon the delights of playing this charming, yet devious, Cardassian. 

"This role has been quite surprising and wonderful," Robinson says. "The way the character is progressing is a delight for me. When I auditioned and got the part, I had no idea that it was going to be a recurring character. They've been writing really interesting things for Garak; each time that he appears, there's something more to play." 

What first attracted him to the role was "the mystery about the character. At the same time, there was also this wonderfully refined and urbane intelligence about Garak. Not only did he have a secret, but his secrets were very deep and potentially very interesting. I don't know where it's going from here, but I look forward to the day --- if the day ever does come -- when the truth about Garak emerges. I have a feeling that the secrets he has are going to be a great deal of fun to play." 

Because he didn't receive any back ground from the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine writers or producers, "I just created my own, so I had something to work from," says Robinson. "I went for the approach of something that was reptilian, someone with cold blood, who would have that same deliberate, measured style. In terms of mystery, I played 'I've got a secret.' The writers and producers have been taking what I'm doing and building from that, as well as whatever they have in mind for Garak, which really is the best. Very few shows do this. Very few."

Not surprisingly, Robinson's least favorite aspect of this role is enduring the makeup. "That's the worst part of it. Garak is a three-and-a-half hour makeup job. Sometimes I'll have a 2 or 3 a.m. call! There are seven prosthetic appliances that they put on, including the neck. It teaches you a lot of patience," he admits. "Once I'm in it -- and these are long days I put in on the set, 14 to 16-hour days sometimes --- I just have to 'Zen' out. Otherwise, if I start getting cranky, then I'm done; I can't act or do anything. I really have to move into an almost beatific state. I have lost weight, though; that's one good thing!" he adds, laughing, before relating a more serious makeup-related tale.

"When the earthquake hit in January, it was 4:30 a.m. in Los Angeles, and I was already in the makeup chair, along with Armin Shimerman [Quark] and a couple other actors. It was pretty bizarre: this earthquake hits, all the power goes out, and all these aliens in varying stages of makeup are milling about in the darkness! People like Armin and Ed Wiley, who was playing this Cardassian, couldn't get through on the phone to their families, so they just jumped into their cars -- Armin in his Quark makeup and Ed with his Cardassian makeup on -- and drove through the pre-dawn streets of Los Angeles. I can only imagine what the other motorists saw -- I think that would be more bracing than a cup of coffee!"

Robinson made his Deep Space Nine debut in the series' second-to-air episode, "Past Prologue." There, "plain and simple Garak" made first contact with Dr. Bashir (who immediately suspected him of being a Cardassian spy) and helped foil a fanatical Bajoran terrorist's plot. Interacting with the Klingon sisters Lursa (Barbara March) and B'Etor (Gwynyth Walsh) proved to be some of Robinson's favorite moments. "That was just a gas!" he exclaims. "We had a great time doing those scenes; I hope we can do that again." 

Garak next appeared in "Cardassians," where he was instrumental in uncovering a scandal concerning the abandonment of Cardassian orphans on Bajor after the war. "The best thing about that was the scene where he and Bashir go to Bajor and run into the orphans. We learned a little more about their culture, that children without parents have no status in Cardassian society, so they just abandoned them. The fact that Garak was faced with this, and realized that there is something very basically wrong about it, was great."

Although both Bashir and viewers alike still wonder which side (if any) Garak owes his allegiances to, Robinson thinks that "Garak's a good guy," and cites the second season episode "Profit & Loss" as "the turning point. When I got that script, I thought, 'Oh, I guess this is the end of Garak,' as I was reading. Then, I got to the end and he decides, no, he's not going to kill Professor Lang and her student dissidents, nor turn them in. He has the change of heart and lets them go. He was faced with that moral dilemma, and for most Cardassians, there would have been no dilemma; they would have just done what they were expected to do." The actor hastens to add, however, "That's not to say that the man doesn't have an... ambiguous past. He's very complicated, very ambiguous, and there's no doubt that there are things in his past that aren't very nice. He is, after all, Cardassian!" 

One of Robinson's greatest pleasures on Deep Space Nine, he says, has been working with Siddig El Fadil, who plays Dr. Bashir. "Siddig and I get along so well, and we have become very good friends from this show. The chemistry works out beautifully, where you have this older, reptilian mystery man who isn't what he seems to be, and this young innocent. It's easy to see what Bashir's getting from Garak: a political education. He's learning about the byzantine, labyrinthine subtleties and intricacies that go on in the station. 

"It's less clear, but equally strong, to see what Garak is getting from Bashir," he continues. "Bashir is a very decent person, a veru moral man, a responsible scientist with a soul. I think Garak is learning some of this, becoming socialized. I don't mean 'humanized,' because that would be a 'specist' thing to say. He's gaining a certain sense of compassion, a certain morality and that's very touching-that's what I love about the relationship." 

That being said, Robinson would also like to see Garak interact more with the rest of the Deep Space Nine crew. "It's a great company! I would love to do more with Rene Auberjonois; he and I have known each other forever. I think they'll have me do more with Quark this season, because we had some really nice scenes together in 'Profit & Loss.' Armin and I worked together just before DS9, in a production of Richard II. Also, I would love to do much more with Avery Brooks. He's a very powerful actor who has a lot of wonderful inner strength."

Garak's next two appearances, "Crossover" and "The Wire," showed two very different sides of the Cardassian. In the Mirror Universe, lntendent Kira Nerys rules Deep Space Nine, with Garak as her menacing second in command. "That wasn't hard to do," Robin.son says, "but that was interesting because I found the negative image to Garak: that Nazi, that typical Cardassian persona of the oppressor, the fascist, the totalitarian. There are no secrets to this man -- and no hiding any from him; he's just into sheer power. [The real] Garak is not into pure power at all; that's not his agenda! Now when I come back to Garak, I have more information about him, and he will be a deeper character as a result." 

Robinson's favorite episode to date, "The Wire" raised many questions about Garak's past and provided very few concrete answers. When an endorphin-releasing implant in Garak's brain begins malfunctioning, Dr. Bashir goes to great lengths to save his friend, ultimately discovering that Garak, among other things, used to be part of the Obsidian Order, a secret information-gathering Cardassian police force renowned for their brutal tactics. "'The Wire' was a dream," Robinson notes, "the type of episode I would like to do -- well, not all the time, because I would die! -- but frequently. That's the kind of episode that does indeed stretch my 'acting muscles,' because it demanded that I go inside myself and pull things out that perhaps didn't want to come willingly."

Originally a New England native, this "man behind the mask" recalls that "as long as I can remember, I wanted to be an actor. Not necessarily as a profession, but I always wanted to act. When I was 10, I went to this school in Rhode Island that had a wonderful drama program. It was run by a man who became my mentor. He was very supportive and helpful, and I just did plays and plays and plays." 

Robinson describes his college days similarly. "I had an art history teacher who encouraged me to apply for a Fulbright Scholarship to study acting in London. I did, and I got it against all odds," he explains. "When I was studying at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art, I was doing a student production of Anton Chekhov's The Seagull; I was playing Constantine, this young man with a lot of troubles, and I had -- I can only call it an apotheosis -- this very deep emotional experience. That's when I decided I would act for a living." 

This led to several years of stage acting until Robinson landed his first movie role as the Scorpio Killer in Dirty Harry. "I liked Clint Eastwood," he says, "but for me, the excitement was working with the director, Don Siegel. He was an amazing man, the best director I've ever worked with. Basically, he taught me whatever I now know about filmmaking. The character I played was very underwritten and very under-realized in the original script; it was only because Don Siegel was the kind of director he was that he hired me and said, 'OK, give me the character.' At the time, I had no idea the kind of chance he was taking. It just blows my mind!"

With his film career established, Robinson appeared in all manner of movies, TV shows and plays. One of his most visible roles came in an ABC TV movie, Liberace. Portraying the flamboyant entertainer, Robinson says, "was a great experience. It ended up being one of the best things I've ever done. You see, the art of acting, for me, is quite liberating. There's a lot of freedom have when you're behaving in the skin of another person, so to speak. That, to me, is the most interesting thing about being an actor . Also, I never wanted a nine-to-five job, and I'm grateful for the fact that I've been able to fashion a career where I work at jobs and a job doesn't work me." 

Robinson first attracted the notice of SF and horror aficionados with his work in Clive Barker's debut film, Hellraiser. "That was a wonderful experience," he says fondly. "For one thing, the character chance to play two characters, basically, the good and evil sides of the same person, was a thrill. The good brother, Larry, was quite repressed, and behind that repression was his evil brother Frank. 

"Also, working with Clive Barker -- who's a genuinely mad, eccentric genius ---was a lot of fun. It was his first film; he really didn't know much about filmmaking, so he really had to rely on people around him who had more experience, and he was open to that. It became a genuinely collaborative experience, and there was a lot of creativity flowing on the set, which doesn’t always happen.” 

His next genre appearance came in Child's Play 3, in which the evil doll Chucky arrives at a military school and terrorizes the cadets. Robinson played the sadistic barber, Sergeant Botnick, who gets a fatal shave from the diminutive killer. "A friend of mine, Jack Bender, was directing it and asked me to come in and do this character," Robinson remembers. "Jack's a very bright guy, and he saw something that I couldn't see at first reading. Then, we got working on it, and what happened was one of those fortuitous occasions when I made something really interesting, a character who was like nothing I had ever seen or done before. Sergeant Botnick the barber usually goes totally unnoticed, but it’s a piece of work that I'm very proud of." 

Similar circumstances led him to Trancers Ill as Colonel Daddy Muther . "Again, it was a friend of mine, Courtney Joyner, who wrote and directed it. I did it because he asked me to. He had written the part for me, and because he was a friend, we were able to create the character as we were shooting it. Unfortunately, the shooting circumstances were very pressured because resources were very limited. It was an extremely low-budget film, and also Courtney's first ." Robinson got along very well with his fellow cast, however. "Tim Thomerson, who played the lead, is terrific, a very funny, lovely guy. I enjoyed working with him a lot." 

While lately he has been appearing in projects with a definite SF slant, Robinson says he doesn’t have any one favorite genre of acting . "One of the things I appreciate about myself -- if I may say that -- is the range I have. It's something I've developed consciously, because I really love playing different kinds of characters. For example, in this British farce by Alan Bennett called Habeas Corpus, I played a guy who sells and adjusts false breasts! It was a funny, crazy role, just knock-down British humor. And in the middle of it, I went back to Rhode Island to do my one-man show, which is a very serious meditation based on if Jesus had kept a diary. This person/actor finds the diary, shares it with the audience, and ends up portraying different aspects of Jesus and His life. It's that kind of contrast that turns me on as an actor." 

To Robinson, the most enjoyable aspect of playing a recurring character like Garak is the chance "to explore the character from various angles, so that you go from 'plain and simple Garak' to an episode like 'The Wire,' which goes into a very deep, personal story about the man. You get the kind of information about a character that you rarely ever get in a single episode, or indeed a single film. The writers don't sit down with us and say, 'OK, this is where your character is going,' and I rather like that . It's a surprise every time I get a script!" 

In future episodes of Deep Space Nine, Andrew Robinson feels that viewers will eventually learn the truth about Garak. "Right now, all we do know is that he's in exile and he misses his homeland very much," he notes. "I know the producers have really become attached to the character, which means more and more of a commitment to me. For instance, this season I will be on the show several times. I think eventually, by the time the show ends, we will know where Garak is coming from. Perhaps we won't understand him completely in terms of his motives, or the 'why' of Garak, but I certainly think we will understand the 'what' of Garak, what he's doing on the station."

Was this not an awesome article and interview, or what??? -Wendy

[maura-labingi]

I finally got around to finishing the second chapter of this ridiculous, indulgent fic, and it’s over here on AO3 or just below the little preview below:

Chapter 2: Baiting a Bajoran, Step 1

It was early the next morning — too early, if he wanted to be peevish about it — that he received the first ominous communication from Sisko.

“Mister Garak,” Sisko had said, face bland but voice holding a pinch of worry, “would you consider delaying the opening of your shop for a few hours and joining us in the wardroom?”

Garak had hummed and hawed for a few minutes while he had tried to work out why Commander Sisko would want him in the wardroom, glad he was doing this already dressed and not in his pyjamas; as much as he hated mornings, it paid to be on the Promenade ahead of the crowd. And, for moments such as this, it gave the impression that he had been aware of everything and was merely waiting for it to occur, rather than uncomfortably surprised as he truly was. He was grateful for the edge it gave against an opponent like the good Captain. Many a Gul could learn from him: all he could glean from him was that there was some kind of incident with which Garak’s unique insight would be...useful, if not exactly appreciated.

“I’m sure you can understand that there are some things better explained in person rather than over a comm?” Sisko had said, and, well, Garak could, which perhaps went some way to explaining why at 0800 hours he found himself staring down the indomitable Major Kira Nerys across the wardroom table as they waited for everyone else to arrive.

“My, they are taking their time, aren’t they?” Garak finally said after an indefinite period of silence. Major Kira only grunted. He was probably not going to get anything better, but, as always, he was a martyr to his own persistence.

So he tried again. “Any small clue what this is about, Major? I must confess I’m rather in the dark with what the good Commander might what, and so early too.”

The Major gave him one of the smiles he knew she reserved specially for Cardassians: all sarcasm, bile, and the continuous desire to stick a knife in something. “Sure you are. Bet you haven’t got a clue.” With that she pressed her lips together, hunched down in her chair and settled in as if she were waiting out mortar fire. Which, from her perspective, any interaction with a ‘spoonhead’ probably was.

Bothering her a little more kept him entertained. Goodness knew why someone had thought to leave her as the one to supervise him while the Commander did whatever it was he was doing, but her monotone grunts and snarls made him wonder if this wasn’t lesson in diplomacy for her with a soft target. Well, softer target: he was hardly toothless, but chewing on an exiled old tailor, no matter who he’d once been, would hardly have dire consequences. Whereas snapping at Guls and Legates and whoever else from Cardassia she could find who enjoyed continued citizenship might alleviate a cultural hurt, but no doubt wasn’t pleasing to any Federation superiors who had to hear about it. Too concerned with appearances and politeness, if he knew the Federation at all, to appreciate the blood boiling anger of one freedom fighter cum terrorist: her Bajoran superiors, on the other hand, no doubt indulged in a round of drinks an applause whenever an incident report with her name on top of it came across their paths. Garak would, were he a Bajoran.

What an odd mental exercise, imagining himself as a Bajoran. He was just about to indulge in it further, and even prod the Major with some of the more pointed philosophising it would produce — What was the equivalent of a servant name like Garak? Who would he have been with Bajor’s mystical literature instead of Cardassia’s pragmatic one? Would he suit the earing? — when the wardroom door opened and the Major rocketed out of her seat, spared further needling.

“Commander! Thank the Prophets — I mean,” and oh, watching the Commander’s eyebrow quirk up in amusement never failed to entertain, “uh, Garak is — Mr Garak is here, sir. Waiting. We’ve been waiting. Calmly.”

“Calmly. Hm.” He turned a smile on Lieutenant Dax, entering behind him. “Thank the Prophets indeed.”

“Yes sir,” muttered the Major, and sunk back into her chair.

It seemed Sisko had brought the entirety of his senior staff to this meeting, including Odo, who gave him a restrained nod, and the Chief, who glared. Lieutenant Dax made a sauntering beeline for him, placing a hand on the back of his chair and treating him to a toothy grin.

“Raktajino, Garak? Unless Kira has already gotten you something?”

“She has not,” Garak said, and saw the Major and Sisko shoot looks at each other, one guilty and one admonishing, “we were waiting for all of you to arrive. Weren’t we Major? Rude to start a drink alone — an old little Cardassian custom, in which the Major indulged me.”

Major Kira stared at him, muttering out an agreement without thought. Putting her off kilter by appearing to help her was always a joy. It made her suspicious and angry and, he’d found from past experience, more likely to attempt her own strangled kindness out of some sense of debt.

Commander Sisko chose to raise his other eyebrow. “I’m not familiar with such a Cardassian custom. I don’t know that anyone has ever extended it to me.”

“Cause it doesn’t exist,” groused O’Brien, realising too late, by his face, that to take down Garak he had to take down Major Kira too. “Er, I mean, maybe.”

Garak had to stifle an unhelpful chuckle. “Generally only among the lower classes. The Guls and Legates and governmental officials you deal with, Commander, wouldn’t think to observe such a courtesy.”

“You calling yourself a commoner, Garak?” Jadzia said, her smile growing larger by the second.

“Common in birth and in station, perhaps, but I hope not common in character.”

That made her laugh, and she swung off to the replicator behind him to order. A dash of almond milk, no sugar — she remembered his order perfectly. She also gave him a large snack of some sort.

“What is it?” He asked, as she sat down beside him.

“A muffin. Blueberry. Benjamin introduced me to it. It’s nice, you’ll like it.”

“Benjamin,” the Commander said, interjecting forcefully, “wants to start this meeting.”

“Of course Commander, sorry.”

Garak wanted to ask what on earth went into a muffin, but the look of impatience on Commander Sisko’s face told him that he should simply eat the thing and be thankful. The first nibble was sweet, like most Terran snack foods, and Garak was pleased to note Jadzia was right — he did like it.

“Where’s Doctor Bashir?” Major Kira asked as Garak took a larger bite.

Chief O’Brien huffed. “He said he’d be five minutes. Something about some protein sequencing —”

“He’ll get here when he gets here,” Sisko said, and slid several padds across the table to everyone. “In the meantime, let’s begin.”

It was much as Garak expected: the Federation wanted something from Cardassia, and for their part in it the command of DS9 decided that inquiring of their local tailor was their best course of action. Nevermind that he couldn’t exactly speak for Cardassia, or that he had any opinion on Dukat’s latest noise-making that he was willing to share apart from what a fool. Not that Dukat had actually come up yet, but Garak could tell he will from the fury on Major Kira’s face and what the Commander wasn’t saying — and, of course, from his own sources, which confirmed the inevitability of it all. Dukat had tried to throw his political weight around, and doubtless the Federation wanted to know if next time he might throw it in a direction they might like.

Sisko appeared to be about to get to the crux of the matter when Doctor Bashir burst in, panting and red-faced. It had been much longer than five minutes.

“Sorry,” he said, bent double, “sorry, there was an emergency, thought it was an outbreak, I got here as fast as I could, turned out to just be —”

“Just sit down, Doctor,” Sisko said, motioning to a chair, any chair, stop talking and sit down, please.

“Of course, of course, I’ll just grab something from the the replicator —”

“Very well Doctor, just don’t dawdle.”

Bashir blushed, but did his best to quietly order something from the replicator while Odo and Eddington argued over the usefulness of secure channels. Pointless, really. As if someone like Dukat would have worked to secure his end in any meaningful way: they could open up what they thought was a secure channel, but Dukat’s poor care for the more technical details of secrecy would have the Obsidian Order listening in from the get-go. Within an hour Central Command would know they’d contacted Dukat, Sisko would receive an angry communique, they’d have to kiss up and shake hands with a dozen jumped up Legates, and in the end do double the work for half the reward, because by that point Dukat would have grown scared and would probably rather break up his one-sided nemesis affair with Sisko rather than annoy Central Command further.

Garak was just considering the most cutting way to tell Odo and Eddington that they’d have more luck just calling the Cardassian-Federation ambassador a parentless ingrate when Bashir flopped into the chair next to him, distracting him thoroughly. The pair of security experts got through a new round of arguing about data encryption as Garak watched Bashir burn his tongue on his fresh tarkalean tea. Watching Bashir cough his through his pain got Garak through a tedious spiel by O’Brien on Cardassian communication protocols, and observing Bashir navigate some manner of sloppy pastry made Major Kira’s anecdote on ‘how they did that all the time in the resistance’ more bearable, at which point Bashir’s eyes jolted up to his. The delightful man gifted him with a grin, forgetting that his mouth was full of pastry, and looked unbelievably shocked when some of it dropped out and back onto the plate.

“Really, Doctor,” Garak couldn’t help but mutter. Bashir looked set to start giggling, so it was probably a good thing that Sisko interrupted.

“Mr Garak, you’ve been quiet so far. Anything to add?”

“Oh no, Commander, nothing of note. Although...I am wondering what you asked me here for. I’m hardly an expert on Federation security protocols,” he said, nodding at Eddington and Odo to indicate their previous discussion.

“Then it’s a good thing we’ve not got you here to discuss that,” Sisko said, “but to offer Cardassian insight on the latest Cardassian happenings.”

“Which are?”

Major Kira scoffed. “Oh, come on, you probably know more than we do!”

“I confess I don’t.” He probably did.

“The mess with Dukat!” She looked astonished that he might deny knowledge of it, and, well, he could see her logic. She knew he hated Dukat as much as she did.

What was that Terran saying, keep your friends close...and information was as good as flesh to a man like him.

“Which mess with Dukat?” He asked, “I’ve no doubt there are new messes each morning.”

“He bullied his way around a section near the Badlands, making a racket about how great Cardassian sovereignty is.” The Major looked disgusted at the thought.

Sisko sighed. “He was involved in a series of incidents with the Marquis and the Klingons, some of them fatal —”

Garak can’t help his little interjection. “To him, one hopes?”

Major Kira shared a brief — and quickly regretted — look of commiseration with him, but Sisko predictably just scowled. “No. It was not. But he began broadcasting from his fleet about how no-one would rule Cardassia but Cardassia. Of course, with the Marquis violent interactions feel almost inevitable at this point, but that’s not the case with the Klingons. He might start a war out there, the way he’s going.”

How delightful to be right. “And you want it to be the correct war, I take it? One not with the Klingons, or preferably with anyone else within the Alpha quadrant, but, if possible, with those beyond it?”

Sisko nodded. “The Dominion. Every fight that happens here, between ourselves, weakens us a gives the Dominion an opening we cannot afford to give. If we can get even one Gul on our side, we have a good chance of convincing more, and then —”

“Central Command.” Plodding the wider Federation might be, but Garak had to admire the drive of people like Sisko.

“Yes. You can see now why we invited you to this little meeting, Mr Garak.”

“Oh yes. And luckily for you, though your methods...may need work, I fully agree with your aims.”

O’Brien laughed. “You’re willing to convince some Cardies to lay off the Klingons for us?”

“Like you, Chief, I am forever a loyal patriot.”

They spent the next half an hour mulling over ways to get Dukat to do what they want — Garak’s suggestion of having Major Kira shout at him was firmly shut down — without ruining the tenuous relations between the Federation, Bajor and Central Command. Garak was also unable to convince them to go directly to Central Command itself, despite the obvious advantages, although he was loath to admit they might have a point. Central Command did have a history of gauging the ramification of wide reaching political decisions like this by the reaction of Guls to the idea: where Legates moved with power Guls moved with people, the saying went, being closer to the rank and file and more cognizant of how an idea might actually play out in practice among citizens and soldiers both. So, if they could get even a handful of Guls to voice their idea, they’d be much better prepared to then go to Central Command with a proposal. It was no guarantee, of course – sometimes it didn’t matter what the Guls thought, Central Command would do what they wished regardless and demand compliance – but it was a potential point in their favour.

In the end, Garak agreed to looking up some information, a few old contacts, and drafting a message and a possible delivery system to find Dukat without the Obsidian Order knowing: or, as Major Kira so ironically put the last bit, ‘any nosy intelligence agents’. Before he left, Sisko’s eyes flickered between Garak and Bashir, questioning, but eventually shrugged and left with the Chief and his two security officers trailing behind him. It was hard to tell what Sisko had been thinking behind a gaze like that, but he had been looking askew at Bashir the entire meeting – Bashir who had said little but jiggled an excitable leg whenever Garak spoke – so perhaps he was wondering if the two of them were going to go off on some little investigatory adventure, and why they hadn’t mentioned it. Bashir’s eagerness for anything even vaguely spy related was no secret, and Sisko had even initiated a few of their trips himself over the years. At least, that’s what Garak was going to convince himself the look was about. Anything else would be a distraction at the moment.

“Well Mr Garak,” said his distraction, “anything I can do to be of assistance? Book out a runabout? Hide in dressing rooms? Chase down obscure records?”

“You’re certainly not hiding in any of my dressing rooms.”

“No?”

“No, most definitely not! Conversations between a tailor and their clients must be confidential, Doctor, and I can’t have you overhearing.”

Bashir pouted theatrically. “Well there must be some leads we can follow.”

As Bashir picked at the remains of his pastry, Garak considered whether he was right. Oh, there were things to research, people to talk to. But nothing, he thought, that required anything but Garak for now. Bashir was going to be devastated.

“I’m afraid not.” Ah, and there it was: the poor man looked so terribly put out, as if Garak had cancelled lunch. Perhaps it was that which prompted Garak to add, “not yet at least, my dear Doctor.”

Bashir smiled at that – at the not yet, at the my dear Doctor, at Garak’s conspiring tone – and Garak found himself momentarily undone. Shaken like a spinning top, brain stuttering and titled until all of him feels off kilter. No more than some residual foolishness, he told himself, but it meant he was hardly paying attention to anything more than his own achingly wide smile when Bashir hops up and makes to leave. Hardly paying attention to the words lining up to leave his mouth, so, seeing Bashir was set to leave him and his empty mug and plate, on the table, abandoned, again, instead of saying anything remotely clear he said;

“Doctor, really, your memory must be suffering terribly for you to do this to me two times in a week.”

Bashir turned to him with a look like — what was the archaic Terran phrase — deer caught in the headlights? “I didn’t realise I owed you another one,” he said, bashful for some reason.

What a funny way of looking at things. A remote part of Garak’s mind was still twirling, on a delightful, anxious high. He couldn’t spare the thought to parse what Bashir might mean.

“It is not about what you owe me, doctor, but about what is right.”

He fixed Bashir with a pointed look. Bashir shrugged, grinned, and Garak’s mind wobbled. The dull black of his uniform seemed to highlight his lanky figure, how he towered over Garak now, even just halfway out of his chair. He bumbled over, still grinning, and leant down. Garak had a moment to think that finally, he was learning some niceties, when Bashir bypassed his mess and pushed himself fully in Garak’s space. It took a second, only a second, Garak would later swear, but watching Bashir place a hand on the table for balance and smoothly duck his head to place a soft, chaste kiss on Garak’s cheek felt like the slow slip of a glacier.

Garak’s senses were stuck in a tailspin long enough that his exasperated yell is said not to Bashir’s face but to his back as it disappeared out the door. “For goodness sake, that is not what I meant.”

There was a heady beat of silence, and then he remembered that they hadn’t been alone.

Major Kira was sat across from him, her cup frozen halfway to her lips. She looked like she’d just seen Bashir kiss a vole, and was just about ready to kill the vole in question. Jadzia, beside him, stifled a laugh with her fist.

“What,” Major Kira said, voice dripping venom, “was that?”

The laugh she’d been denying finally burst from Jadzia’s mouth. “What did it look like?”

“I know what it looked like! That’s not what I’m asking. Garak?”

Garak had no clue – well, he had a clue but not a conclusion – and it was beyond frustrating. “No doubt some strange human feint in order to avoid cleaning up after himself.” Determined to avoid looking into the Major’s eye — he may be able to dance verbal circles around her, but the woman’s fire could be distracting — he stood and began to gather his and the Doctor’s empty items together. “I mean, look at this! You would think a grown man would have learnt by now that he should not rely on others to do something for him so simple as putting a cup and plate back into the replicator.”

That seemed to have confounded Major Kira for a moment. “What? What are you talking about?”

“He is messy,” Dax said, “but what has that got to do with him kissing you, Garak?”

Garak placed the items back into the replicator with a care he did not feel. “This is twice he’s done this now. I do hope it isn’t indicative of it becoming a habit.”

“Done this twice? Kissed you twice?” Kira sounded outraged, out of proportion with the situation, Garak thought. But then, she so often did.

“Ignored my admonishments and used odd tactics to flee without putting away his rubbish. That is what he has done twice.”

“Did each time involve kissing you?” Jadzia said, mischief clear in the line of her mouth.

“Why would he kiss you?” Major Kira said.

Tired of her accusatory manner — sometimes it could be fun, but only if he held enough of the cards — he stared her down. “I was hoping you could tell me, Major. I would think the two of you would be more familiar with the good Doctor’s pranks than I. He has never dared try one on me.”

Like some of his best lines, he hadn’t known what he was going to say until it was already out. The wind had momentarily been knocked from the Major’s sails, and Dax was looking at him in contemplation. Garak knew the Doctor had an impish nature, one that Dax shared, and he had heard on a few occasions of the trouble they had gotten into; sometimes separately, sometimes together. Poking at it might allow him an exit.

Major Kira, magnificently, attempted to rally. “What, you mean he wouldn’t prank a spy?”

Garak made sure to blink slowly, in the way he knew she hated. “I have no idea whether he would prank a spy! I shall have to ask him. Perhaps we can find one and he can have a go. But,” he continued, and Major Kira ground her teeth, “I imagine he has never pranked me out of a healthy respect for his elders and betters. Then again I could be unwittingly transposing Cardassian values onto him.”

“Could be,” said Major Kira.

“Entirely possible,” he demurred, moving towards the door. “Now if you ladies would excuse me,” he said, and managed to be partway down the corridor before he heard Major Kira’s inevitable shouting.