#l.e.d. studio

[chromet]

H2 by Heron Preston for H&M Better Future Airbrush boxy t-shirt

Available HERE for purchase on @grailed

[retrocgads]

UK 1998

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

I LIKE IT BETTER WHEN YOU CAN'T KEEP WARM | ODXNY

✮ tags ; heavy themes, gender neutral reader, mentions of past suicidal ideation, getting together, romantic tension, angst to fluff, extremely lovey-dovey ending, some implicit and suggestive content (lit one paragraph n non descript), themes of touch starvation, small height difference (reader is shorter)

✮ wc ; 6.3k (this is so shameful bye forever)

✮ a/n ; every time a semester ends i lose my mind and me writing this in several hours straight is evidence. if i had a nickel for every time i wrote a character study with the central theme of loneliness, i'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

i will spare you the insane rambling for the authors note at the bottom of this fic.

✮ synopsis ; he wants something. to live maybe. and if he could be a little selfish, to be with you. he wants that, too.

Bright.

Could just be the dark room he keeps himself in talking. His computer system and encrypted Internet browsers are all in dark mode - and his desktop set-up doesn’t have any L.E.D. strip lights to keep him company. He prefers it that way, the ambiance a better environment to work in  when he’s doing his usual rounds. Down to the programs U.I. - Odxny spends most of his time in perpetual darkness. Cozy and familiar - totally safe and secure. Nothing but the low whirrs of a computers fan and the faint blinking of routers to keep him company.

You’re the brightest thing he’s had on his screen in a long time. You’ve got white walls and no precaution, really. You’re sitting at your own desktop - and he can see everything of your life in the background of where you sit. There are photos of you graduating high school, being around unnamed friends, vacations and trips, and head shots like the kind you take for a resume. It’s all so personal. Bookshelves, trinkets, poorly made clay sculptures. Posters of musicians you like and Studio Ghibli movies. Evidence of life surrounds you like a halo.

Awful. Angel comparisons to someone he’s only known for a day make him wonder if he’s more pathetic than he thought. He probably shouldn’t think so hard about a stranger, a real stranger. Thrim generated randomly, though he thinks it sounds like a name. Finds it fun to say, for better or worse.

Natural light pours in from a window nearby, casting shadows in your room. He already knows you, in a way. He did the background search. Where you were born, raised, grew up.  The schools you went too, the career you seek. Bits and pieces of you are all scattered in his memory and are not at all thorough. He wasn’t really trying for that at the time, just needed to know if you were dangerous. There’s a cognitive dissonance. To know a life so thoroughly and to witness it is completely, and utterly different.

There’s miles between you. Must be thousands. He can’t remember the last time he’s really met someone, though. It’s hard not to notice that this feels akin to that. Like the embers of a campfire, glowing but not burning. A comfortable warmth.

Bright. His screen is very bright talking to you. Even obscured behind the mask, it’s a little difficult to look at it and leaves him on edge - restless and mildly painful.

When his vision adjusts though, there’s clarity. A person, a stranger - with an exceptionally nice laugh and who is exceptionally trusting. Odxny tries not to think too hard about the feeling of warmth that flutters at your overflowing sincerity.

The conversation is easy.

“Does that mean you trust me now?”

Odxny pretends to think on it. “Enough to keep you around.”

“See you later.”

“See you.”

You accompany your last words with a wave - short and sweet. Darkness pulls him in, back where he started. He has a mild headache from all the light.

__

You pick up on the language better than he thought you would.

He underestimated you. Can you blame him? Your choice is language is ArnoldC, for fucksake. Sure, he has limited knowledge on esoteric languages but can it really be in-depth enough to show you the basics.

(It can. Or at least, Od presumes this to be the case because you’re rather helpful in Incri’s hacks and Incri is hardly helpful to anyone in the world, no less the server.)

You pick up on things quickly with little guidance - always to the point and not usually making many errors. He has to commend your abilities and give you credit where it’s due. It’s not a hard language to learn, but for anyone with no familiarity with coding at all he’d expect there to be a learning curve. Even if you had coding language, it’s not like you knew SQL coming in.

You fit strangely well into the server somehow. You’re happy to learn and nonplussed about helping with small things, though you don’t know these people at all and have no reason to participate in their nonsense. You talk to Incri fine, and manage to get Pep to accidentally reveal telling information. Odxny finds all of this rather… entertaining maybe. More than impressive, really.

He has a hard time making sense of the feeling. He would hope you don’t think you’re under duress - given the fact your relationship in two days has been pleasant. Then again - maybe he’s missed some social cue and you do think that. It’s possible. After all, he doesn’t actually remember the last time he’s spoken verbally to anyone with very, very few exceptions.

He manages to call you again after the fact - opens the call with sincere and heartfelt congrats and feels pleasant seeing you take the compliment in stride.

You land on the subject of programming again, inevitably. He interrogates you a little more over your choice in language - almost like he can’t help himself. It’s basic curiosity. You had said you were the best in ArnoldC. A little research proved that to be true, presence of you in the forums of various esolang pages. He landed on many things. You’re the best at ArnoldC, but you also know Brainfuck for some ridiculous reason.

He thinks you’re a little ridiculous in general.

“It’s really for the love of the game, huh?”

You nod when he asks this. Smiling, bright and unbothered with a soft edge of smug pride that makes the muscles of his face twitch up. “Mhm. I like my little collection.

Odxny doesn’t doubt it for even a minute. He’s seen the proof, but perhaps he doesn’t need to mention that. “Your trophy case of ridiculous language?”

Your eyes come to life all of a sudden. “Wait. A real trophy case would actually be so cool.”

He pauses, blinking as the words sink before a smile breaks onto his face helplessly. “That was not to enable you.”

“Too late. I’m already looking up the ugliest wood trim display cases I can find.”

The laugh comes naturally. “You really are just like this?”

You look proud again. “What? Fun?”

Yes, Odxny thinks but doesn’t say. “Baffling.”

You ask Odxny to elaborate and he does. The conversation flows with frustrating ease. So easily that he mouths off about his plans to you without a second thought. He doesn’t know why he does it. Not really. He’s thought it through over and over - so it’s not like he needs to disclose it. He made his choice.

He thinks about moving it along. About ending the call or simply brushing past without going into any detail.

When he glances at the screen, you’ve got a pillow in your lap and your eyes completely focused on him. There’s that feeling again, alarming clarity in your gaze and brightness that causes him immense unease in the world he’s made of nihilistic, apathetic darkness. There’s a plan, always has been. He’ll do this and disappear and the world will soon forget him. If it happens that way, than at least this loneliness is a choice he’s made for himself and not something the world has cruelly decided for him.

His lips move faster than his head, than even his heart. Compelled by a nameless and brilliant force. “I don’t have any reason to stay. I’m just — tired. Of everything.”

“No reasons? Nothing makes you happy here?”

His response is measured. Quiet. It’s not secret. He finds his voice crumbles around the words anyway as if they’re a confession. “Not for a long time. I don’t feel much of anything, really. It is what it is.”

You frown. He’s seen it all before. Heard it all before. “That’s…”

He cuts you off quickly.

“We just met. And we’ll be strangers again soon enough.” He says with as much conviction and resolve as he can possible manage. Who he’s convincing remains unclear. “So, not to be cold but..you know.”

The disappointment in your face leaves an impression, but you relent. He tries to make amends for the depressing conversation of talking again and you perk up so genuinely it makes want to cry, in a distant and foreign way.

“Catch you later, then.” He says, and closes at out the call. The room falls dark for the second time. He blinks a few times to get rid of the light clouding his vision.

__

Wnpep is eager to teach you on the third day.

You’re eager in reply - matching energy with sharp wit and enthusiasm. Wnepep is a better teacher than Incri by several miles. Evident in how much faster everything falls into place for you. Not that you really need too much help in the first place. You break down the crumbling walls of an insurance scam with ease and come out of the other side more accomplished.

It’s a noble last hack, Odxny thinks.  Not unsurprising from Pep - unofficially the most sane and likeable member. He figured it’d be something like this less than a matter of personal vengeance.

You go back and forth for a bit in admin chat. Od types an apology about winding you up and tries not to read too much into the innuendo of it as you reply back with your own faux offended replies. He insists he’s somewhat sorry, and you’re far from believing him.

He finds himself grinning at his screen while he texts you mid conversation. When the realization hits, he almost curls into himself from embarrassment - a hand covering his mouth like it’ll do away with the grave sin.

The inneundo happens twice in one conversation, before you get to call under the premise of a victory toast.

A brief conversation about the last hacks barely leaves room for much else except Odxny plans of total isolation.

“Mm. I should’ve known it would come back to this. Why do you care what I choose to do with myself?”

That baffles you in a terribly genuine way. “Am I not allowed to care about another person?”

Odxny speaks honestly. “You are but I mean…” He trails off. He knows how he feels. “I’m not really a person anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m no one. I’m going to be no one. You have other things to fill your life with.”

There’s a vulnerable edge to his voice that he winces at when he hears it. It’s true isn’t it? All of it is true to Odxny, but especially where he says you have other things to fill your life with. You might share the same hobbies, but he’s seen it. He’s seen how different you are - your livelihoods, your existence. You’d be missed if you suddenly disappeared. Odxny knows the same isn’t true for himself. It’s been like that for a long while now.

(It’s crushing. That’s what makes your very ephemeral existence feel like a burden. Why it casts the shadows of doubt on choices he made, about how he would live so long ago. You care, don’t you? At least, more than anyone else in his life in the present. You care so undeniably, and so obviously and it is all so simple to you.

He almost envies it. Almost resents it, too. It’s such a small shred of humanity, the barest forms of sincerity but it is painfully raw. A split nerve. An open wound It’s not like the server, all of whom have accepted this distant fondness. It’s a delicate thread - spider silk accuracy and just as much strength. There’s conviction in your missing him and it haunts him.)

You think of what to say for a long time before landing on it. “I do. But I can care about multiple things at once,”

It sounds like I care about you too closely. He finds himself shivering. He’s truthful with you, unsure of how else to be when it comes to these conversations.

“That sounds burdensome.” He says. “Isn’t that exhausting?”

You don’t lie to him either. “Sometimes. But it’s worth the trouble.”

“Why?”

“Because I like your company,” You reply. Soft sincerity in your words. More clarity. More painstaking light.

“It can’t be that simple.”

“Why not?”

“If it was that simple then -“ Then it makes it seem like things could be different. He doesn’t say that. Stops himself before it can happen. “I don’t know why I’m bothering to argue. Why do I feel like I need to prove this to you?”

He’s almost afraid to look at your face, wincing when he sees how knowing you look. Not in a condescending way - but genuine, full blown understanding. Like you see through him.

He wonders if he knows you as well as he thought he did.

Your face is so sympathetic. “Are you sure it’s me?”

He cuts the conversation short on his own - making an awkward transition from the topic at hand into whatever he can manage. It’s an awkward fumble - a poor attempt at distracting both of you from this line of thinking. You’re kind enough to let him have it. He asks about your hobbies. You tell him about how you like to try the weirdest things and combinations you can find in a restaurant.

He finds it suits you.

A lot of things suit you. Even your piss poor attempt at the Terminator that he quickly mimics - possessed by god knows what.

You laugh when he does. Brilliant and bubbly and characteristically warm. You say the words through giggles.

“That was so bad!”

“It was a lapse in judgment,” He replies back defensively, smiling against his will. He finds himself laughing too.

“I like your laugh, by the way.”

He pauses caught off-guard. “Oh? My laugh. Oh, uhm. Thank you.”

You make a face that he can’t read. Knowing. In a different way than the last. He feels nervous.

“I have been laughing quite a bit, haven’t I?”

You grin. Smug and deliriously happy. “Sure have.”

He looks away from you. “Ha...Odd.”

You giggle again. Your eyes crinkle at the corners, nose scrunched in genuine delight. It’s a pleasant sound but not because it’s particularly wispy or floaty or delicate. But it’s real. Pleasant in the way the white noise of park during summer. Pleasant like the varied playlist overhead in a record shop. Pleasant like a moment of humanity tucked between everyday. He clears his throat.

“I like your laugh, I think.”

You laugh again, gasping with faux offense. “You think???”

He tries not to feel so grounded by that sound and fails. “Yeah. I think. Laugh again.”

He tries not to add please. You shake your head like you’re reprimanding him.

“No, no, you have to earn that. Make me laugh.”

“Nevermind. Shut up.”

You do laugh again that time. He joins you soon after. “And now you laugh? At me?”

The conversation moves again, comfortable like a tide. You ask about his favorite language and he tells you as much. You’re quiet and growing cheeky, listening to him talk.

“So you do like coding.”

“Maybe a little.” He replies, not giving in. “You remember far too much of what I say.”

The conversation comes to a close again. He thanks you for how nice its been and you make an off-handed attempt to get him to change his mind. You could always talk more. The implication delicate beneath it.

We don’t have to forget each other. Odxny brushes past it - but says he’ll see you tomorrow anyway.

__

Extorting Elimfs childhood friend (?) is an easy enough endeavor. Odxny texts you through out - to ask advice on what things to take when he leaves.

He calls you again when its over too. He can’t find a reason for it - nothing that makes sense. He just wanted to call you. He hasn’t wanted something like that in a while,  but he tells himself its fine. This is the last time you’ll ever know each other.

So its fine. He won’t waver.

He’ll just.. call you.

He asks you on your weed habits, mildly surprised when you tell him you smoke and take edibles sometimes too. The conversation loops back to the fund at one point. You don’t hide your displeasure about the whole thing today.

You’ve talked about it already. No need to keep bringing up. But you seem to feel so strongly and Odxny can’t figure out why. Can’t shake the feeling of wanting to know why every single time.

“Is it really so hard to believe I’ve come to like you in a few days?”  You ask, after probing.

“In a way that matters, yes.”

You frown at him when he says that. It’s the most upset he’s seen you look, if he can call it that. You’ve never been upset when he’s been rude or insulting - but this is bothering you. It doesn’t help him pull away from you.

He says it again. Reinforces how temporary this all is. He’s trying to convince one of you. Both of you, maybe, of his unimportance.

“I don’t think that little of you.”

He finds it hard to reply to that. It’s that feeling against. It makes him uncomfortable. It’s not empty platitudes or some vague sense of responsibility for his life. All of it is real, and all of it is meaningful in how plain it is. You make it seem easy.

“It’s life. It’s normal. People come, people go.”

You shake your head. “Not for me. I can’t forget you that easily.”

He wishes you would. He’s painfully, painfully relieved that you wouldn’t it. He voices neither thought.

“Then- try! You’re putting so much on yourself, and for what? You don’t stand to gain anything.”

You shrug. “Peace of mind. Knowing you’re still out there.”

It’s heavy. The implication is heavy. He’s not going to kill himself. He doesn’t want that anymore, though he thought about it. At the beginning. Loneliness is more painful when you have memories of what not being that way was like - he thinks. At the start of all that loss, the hollowness bared an almost painful gravity inside of him.

It’s like being told to breathe or blink - becoming conscious of what was once a natural function, how full life was once when it’s escaped. He doesn’t want to kill himself, but living is meaningless.

 These things aren’t paradoxical to him. They haven’t been for all this time.

(They weren’t until he met you at least. A mirror of wanting. Odxny looks at you and sees life reflected back. Despite it not being his, its moving. It’s beautiful in a human way, reachable. Tangible. Earned.

Wherever you are. Whenever you’re together, the black hole inside of himself seems to fade back into average planetary darkness. He becomes cruelly human again, feeling warmth and laughter.

He’s tells himself he’s not afraid of dying and that’s mostly true. He’s most afraid of living. Afraid he won’t be able to learn it again.)

 He manages to tell you some of what he’s thinking. He has no clue how to start over. He doesn’t know if it’s possible. You don’t feed him any false hope, but he tells you how he sees it. You’re feeling pity for him right? And you should figure that out sooner rather than later.

“Is it really that easy for you?”

You shake your head. You’re smiling but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “It isn’t. But I have to try.”

“Is that what you’re doing with me?”

“What?”

“Is this…?”

He cuts the call off when he hears himself, unsure of what answer he’s hoping for. The realization dawns on him too much, too quickly. The feeling of hope is loud in his chest but there is another feeling, embarrassing in it’s swiftness that follows shortly after.

Oh.

Oh.

__

The servers shuts down after a mildly sappy adventure to close up shop. The closest Odxny has gotten to flirting with you in his own way. He’s sad to see everyone go, despite there being no other choice.

It’s easier than he thought it’d be. To give you his number he means, even after shutting the entire server down. After leaving everything behind. He gives you the choice to make. Call me if you still want it - a silent promise.

 Maybe because deep down - some part of him always wanted to make this choice. Just maybe.

Your voice is different over the phone line. A little clearer, spoken softer. Just as lovely as it was the first time he heard it. Maybe more. Maybe.

The city beneath him is bright. So bright. It doesn’t hurt to look at, he thinks.

__

You call him every day.

You’ve been doing it for months.

He thought, at some point, you’d let up or start to forget. He’s been waiting on it to happen as horrible as it sounds. Like some self-fulfilling prophecy, he’d slip back into the background as is natural. A proof of his nonexistence, if you will.

You don’t forget though. He almost wonders if he’s dreaming when it happens. There’s a routine between you two, these days. You have your own life that you’ve been living the same as normal. When it’s night time for you, though - you hop onto your desktop and call Od like you’re two very average people.

There’s nothing solid to define your relationship aside from friendship as is. This is less frustrating than he expected it to be. Getting to know you better has only made him like you more. Your relationship is solid in a strange way. It’s been about six months total, and as corny as it sounds - Odxny feels like he’s known you for his entire life. You understand him in an intimate way, with vulnerable tenderness and radical acceptance.

He kind of misses the privacy of his old stomping grounds, but he doesn’t mind speaking though discord. It feels… normal. In a not displeasing way. You mostly talk to talk about whatever comes to mind. Sometimes it’s your job search, other times it’s  your part-time or friend drama. You’re vibrant as always. Without the wall of anonymity, Odxny gets to know of you like he’s just your average person. He finds he really, really likes that.

You play games together frequently. He’s never been interested in cozy gaming, but you play Minecraft and Stardew Valley together per your request. Odxny streams himself playing Ocarina of Time for you on Discord in the background sometimes too, and you keep it on when you’ve got work to do or you’re cooking or something else. There’s something very mundane to it.

You’re not doing anything with him today though. You’re calling him on facetime, rather than at your desktop. You’ve made the executive decision to laze around and Odxny has no problem joining you though you speak less than usual as a result of being sleepy. You had a long shift yesterday so perhaps Odxny can’t blame you.

“Need to get better shoes. For walking and stuff.” You say thoughtlessly. The corners of his lips twitch up.

“Yeah?”

You nod. Your face is smushed against your pillow at an unflattering angle. He smiles a little.

“Yeah. I’m on my feet for like nine hours when I serve and it hurts wearing flats. Need something sturdier even it diminishes my drip.”

He laughs at that. “Please never say that again.”

You continue onwards. “Decreases my aura, even. But alas, utility comes first.”

He snickers as he glances at you through the phone. You’re propped against one of his monitors as he does work on his computer. He’s getting back into programming for the love of the game, just seeing what he can do.

“Want help looking?”

“Feels a little ridiculous asking a super pro-hacker to shop Sketchers with me.”

“You seriously thinking of buying Sketchers?”

You laugh lightly. “Maybe I’ll get tipped more if I get the light-up ones.”

“Please don’t.”

“Hater.”

You break out into genuine laughter as Odxny shakes his head in despair. It’s something you’d do, no doubt. You sigh.

“I really do want a break from work.” You roll around on your mattress. Odxny can hear your rustling but can’t see you much. “The chains of capitalism shackle me in place. Woe is me.”

Odxny thinks on what you’ve said for a long while in silence. The question comes up every now and again though he’s never brave enough to ask it. His ludicrous amount of disposable income however is still sitting in his bank, collecting dust. It’s been six months and he’s hardly made a dent in it.

“Do you want to come visit?” He asks, cringing at the sound of his own voice. The words are strained and a little too eager. “I can pay the difference for expenses for wages and stuff. And, uh. Uhm,”

He loses his train of thought trying to speak, worsened by the way you pop onto his screen when he says that. Your expression is unreadable to him, comfortable and even. You smile a little as you lift the phone so he can see what you look like laying in your bed. Your face is in full view.

“It’d be a little weird to visit you before we start dating officially, no?”

His eyes go wide at the implication. You grin, mischief and mirth making your eyes practically beam. He can feel a blush crawl up his neck as soon as he registers it.

“Excuse me? Why are you saying that like it’s already been decided?” He bites back, not sure what else he could say.

“So you don’t want to date me?”

“I didn’t- you - damn it,” He groans at his own bluster as he giggles on the other side of the line. So cheeky. Damn him for liking it and damn you for being cute. “…You are saying you like me right?”

Your face softens. He can feel his heartbeat quicken. “Uh-huh. Just wanted to take it slow. But I’ve liked you for a long time.”

“How long is that, exactly?”

You shrug playfully and the fact he can’t be within reach to kiss you feels especially harrowing. “A secret.” You smile again, all trouble. “So. Wanna date?”

“Terrible confession. Zero stars,” He says petulantly. He leans back in his chair and finds himself smiling uncontrollably. “Fine. I guess.”

Your laugh fills his room. He doesn’t get tired of hearing it. His face hurts from smiling.

__

He manages to stave off on the anxiety of you coming to see him for a lot longer than he thought possible.

Making arrangements proves to be a little difficult. You have to tell your roommates that you’ll be gone for a while but promise to still pay rent and explain to your boss where you’re going. You have a good enough relationship and have been working long enough for them to agree to keep a spot open so you can start working when you come back.

After that, there’s the matter of Visas. Odxny goes out of his way to make that process go much faster than normal, though he doesn’t actually tell you. Once all of that’s sorted, there’s living arrangements. Try as you might to insist to live somewhere else, his place is too spacious for him to let you stay anywhere else. You can take the guest room.

He pretends that all of this is just happening in his imagination. He doesn’t even know the last time anyone came over, let alone lived with him. He does his best to make things presentable, and makes a guest room for you to live in should you desire. He even buys more decor (plants and things) to make it look… less like a cave and more like a home.

Nothing really feels real until the day arrives though. It’s a long flight and difficult trip. You refused to let him pay for the tickets so he moved it around to get you into first class both ways through other methods.

You text him the terminal, the arrival time, any and all delays. Still. None of it feels real until he’s already waiting for you near the bags. He can feel his heart race, his lungs short of air. He’s never experienced something so ridiculously contradictory in his entire life. He wants to run away while feeling stuck in place.

The anticipation nearly kills him.

He would recognize your voice anywhere though. Like he did for so many days alone in the dark. A hand waves high, shouting as loud as it can.

“It’s you!”

The sound of sneakers skidding across tile floors make his breath hitch. His eyes go wide as you stand still in front of him, luggage in hand and a million-watt smile on your face. He feels his heart beat so loud, he wonders if he’s going to throw up.

“Hey.” He says, dumbly.

“Hi!”

__

The adjustment period to living together isn’t what he expects.

It’s been a long time since he’s been so close to another human being. It becomes clear that you’re really living together though when your things end up in the bathroom completely incidentally. There’s something about finding your sleep shirt on a towel rack that makes reality settle in. You’re living together.

He’d be stupid not to notice the purposeful distance between you. An attempt to be thoughtful and not overwhelm him. It’s never awkward when you’re together. You eat together, watch movies and play games while sitting too close on the couch. You’ve been on a date in the two weeks you’ve spent, and it barely took any convincing on your end to make him go along with you.

Isolation aside though, Odxny is not clueless to the conventions of modern dating. You avoid touching him too casually. He doesn’t blame you, but he can’t help but crave your presence with a little more bittersweet longing as the days pass. He has to get past it or bring it up eventually, but it feels like something he’s never going to get over somehow.

The opportunity to do so gets thrown at him all at once. You’ve been living together for sixteen days. A conversation about love languages is what undoes it.

“Whats your love language, Od?”

He gives you a quizzical look. “Dunno actually. Never bothered to look.”

“I’d guess… hm. Quality time maybe? Or words of affirmation.”

He shrugs as he sits next to you on the couch, glancing at your phone as you read through the different ones. “What’s yours?”

“Physical touch. I’m super touchy. With anyone who will let me, honestly. Bad habits.”

Odxny gives you a long look as you say it. He debates if he should bring it up.

“You don’t have to be so careful around me, you know?”

You look up at him, startled by the comment. Several things pass over your face before you settle on an apologetic smile. “Sorry. It’s not like I don’t want to. I just don’t want to be too much for you.”

“That wouldn’t happen.” He says automatically. You laugh good-naturedly.

“Your confidence is assuring, but you underestimate how touchy I am. I’m afraid of I get my hands on you, I’ll never let go again,”

He thinks he wants that more than is normal. He shakes his head. “I don’t mind.”

You give him a long look, seeming struck by an idea, before humming and standing up. You turn around with your hand out towards him. His brows furrow in bewilderment.

“Have some faith.”

He takes your hand and stands up with you. He likes that he’s taller than you. Staring at you, he feels your fingers clasp around his hand and his heart thuds - loud and messy.

“Your room or mine?”

“What?”

You laugh. “Get your mind out of the gutter. Or don’t actually, but I don’t bear lewd intentions.”

He crinkles his nose at the word usage and laughs. “Shut up.”

“Just trust me, okay?”

He concedes with embarassing swiftness.

“Okay.”

__

You lead Odxny to the guest room you’ve been living in for the last two weeks. The bed is well-made and all the new furniture he bought is occupying so many of your belongings. It makes him dizzy. You shut the door behind him as you lead him in. It just feels especially surreal.

Wordless, you let go of his hand and hop up onto your bed. Once you’re laying down, you prop up on your side with your elbow and pat the empty space next to you, smiling at him as you do. Once it clicks what your asking, he can feel his face grow hot. He can’t refuse it though, and he doesn’t want too.

The sheets you bought together smell like you. Between there’s practically no distance between you at this angle. He’s gotten to look at you plenty through these few days but it’s different. You scoot impossibly close to him until there’s nothing separating you.

Your breath is warm - a soft exhale leaving your lips as you inch closer.

“What’re we doing?” He asks in a murmur, stone stiff. You smile, coyly.

“Touching each other.”

He frowns at the joke. Your expression goes a touch serious right after. The sincerity is debilitating. “Can I touch you?”

He nods. Can’t do much more than that.

He stares at you with impending, long-suffering longing as you bring a single hand to his face and cradle his neck. He flinches unintentionally, but pulls your hand back when you try to move it. He wants this. You relax a little when he does that.

Your hands are softer. Softer than a heartbeat. He can feel the various cuts and scars from years of working against his skin but they’re still so soft. He can feel how warm you in such a brief touch his chest aches. Your hands cradle his face tenderly, thumb brushing across his lip with a smile brighter than thousands of lights. Something in your expression wreaks havoc on his heart. Something so raw and so gentle and so full within it - all directed towards him.

It’s been so long. So long. He’s never wanted something so bad  he couldn’t remember needing. He’s never wanted to be closer to someone than he does to you in the moment.

“You’re handsome,” You say, so sweetly. Not a confession, but gentle appraisal. It’s rare he cries but he wants too. “I like looking at you. Can I kiss you?”

“Please.” He rasps, gravel in his voice unfamiliar.

You hum a little. Closing the space between you with a press of lips. It’s not chaste. Odxny is grateful for how long and how deep you linger. He wants it so badly. He wants you in some damning and unforgiving way. How could a human being feel so warm? Feel so pleasant with so little?

You press your foreheads together. His hand trembles when they grip onto your waist but you encourage him just a little. It’s just a kiss. His heart might beat out of him. It’s just a kiss. He thinks he loves you.

Your hand moves away from his face. You let it go underneath his loose shirt to touch his shoulder, running your palm down the plane of his chest. You squeeze his waist, and wrap your arms around his back and pull him to you until your bodies touch somewhere in the middle.

You guide his face to your neck and chest as you hold him. He grips onto you tight in response, a gasp in the back of his lungs at the sudden sensation. You coo above him, soft and light - your fingers threading through his hair and nails massaging his scalp.

Your voice sounds above him, despite how deep in a haze he is. He can’t do anything but cling to you with impossible longing. You speak softly as you pet him. Your heartbeat soothes his.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You tell him. There’s that familiar clarity that makes him want to cry. “I’m glad you let me come with you.”

He can’t think of anything to say back. It’s a soul-shattering emotion. “I love you.”

You laugh wetly above him. “I love you, too. So much.” And then much softer. “Let’s be together for a long time.”

__

You lay in each others arms until sunset. In small talk and silent murmurs. It takes him hours to work up the courage to kiss you again - but only minutes to take it further.

It’s desperate. Terribly. Inevitable. You’re beautiful in a way that is undescribable, best expressed through his teeth on your neck and his hands all over where he can reach - each grip and thrust and bite a reminder. You’re pretty when you’re pleased, warmth reaching up inside of him whenever you make the right face.

He buries himself in you. You’re soft and warm and beautiful and he wants to stay with you. Time is a thief. He damns the sun when it tears you from him come morning.

__

He decides to make breakfast when you wake up. Nothing complicated. You go to shower after him and he plates up toast and eggs and other various things. It’s half done when you come downstairs.

Your skin is still damp, and you smell of vanilla and soap. Your coffee sits in a cup on the table as you pad over to him. He turns to look at you as you reach your hand up and cup his face. You pepper a kisses along his cheeks stopping at his lips for the last one before you’re satisfied.

He fails in his attempt not to blush.

“Morning.” You grin. He tries not to be sick at the domesticity of it all and fails.

“Yeah. Morning.”

You sit at the counter and drink your coffee, glancing outside the window. “It’s bright outside.”

Odxny can’t tear his eyes off of you. “Yeah...” He agrees. He’s not torn his gaze away. “Very bright.”

✮ a/n ; i want all real life compsci men to kick rocks but odxny sweeped me off my feet in a way i can only describe as humiliating. he is a bit like astarion for me in that i see a lot of myself in him at least in the past. he is also incredibly babygirl and uhm . other things (fine. he's very gorjus.) but i truthfully was most compelled by his idealized idea of isolation. as the fic will show it resonated with me as a fellow compsci dork who also tends to isolate like crazy LOL

this fic was like a demon that possessed me. literally no meds, no caffiene - just balls to the wall demonic possesion of needing something out of my system LMAOO. and adhd of course. im working on all the other stuff too i promise. consider this a short interlude 👍🏾

[culturehause]

Heron Preston Joins H&M As Creative Menswear Advisor

From helming his eponymous fashion label to newer endeavors like the creative entity, L.E.D. Studio, Heron Preston is showing no signs of letting up. Now the New York-based designer is expanding his reach as he has partnered with H&M (STOCKHOLM:HM-B.ST +0.02%) as its Creative Menswear Advisor.

With the new “long-term partnership” the fashion giant has plans to reinvigorate its men’s offering by bringing Preston’s signature streetwear vision into the fold. In the role, Preston is set to aid in the creative direction of H&M’s main menswear line alongside producing his own seasonal capsule collections. Specifically, Preston will reside over design advisory, special collections, talent curation and fashion innovation. The gambit of segments spans the fullest extent of creation, curation, collaborations and even environmentally equitable circularity initiatives.

“The idea, at first, is for our work to be very experimental,” said Preston. “From there, we’re hoping for what we create through H2 to inform the wider H&M design operation…I always say, the face of fashion is all of us. H&M speaks to so many different types of people around the globe and is a brand for everyone. I love to push the boundaries of what’s possible and felt like they were really interested in doing that with me.”

Heron Preston is set to release his debut 40-piece collection with H&M next year. Stay tuned for more details about this new long-term partnership.

[adminbryantsaki]

Cockwarming

Day 6 of Spicytober Featuring Hizashi Yamada x reader

(I do not own Hizashi Yamada/ Present Mic. Horikoshi Kohei does. If this isn’t your cup of tea, blend of spices or brew of coffee, move on. Reader discretion is advised. @lhcartoonist has requested to be tagged with the stories featuring Hizashi Yamada.)

Wc: 2,003

Tw: semi-public sex, confession of feelings, giving praise.

You were speed-walking to the station where you were interning at. Your arms were full of items you needed to get through the day. You had your work bag, the coffee order you had been sent last minute to pick up, and your gym bag that held your hero costume for later that night when you began patrol for the evening after your long day at work. You had arrived at the station and you entered the building through the door under the giant “Put Your Hands Up!” L.E.D sign that was off for the time being as it was still early morning. That’s right, you worked for the Voice Hero: Present Mic. You made your way to your cubical where you dumped your bags and set the coffee order on your desk. You kicked your gym bag under your desk and set your work bag out on your chair. You didn’t notice the hero coming behind you to get his coffee. You rose from having your nose buried in your bag looking for a file folder that had tonight’s script in it to hand off to him and you bumped into him. “Ugh! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. Is there-.” You began to say before you noticed that it was your co-worker. Not just any co-worker but Present Mic. You froze up and felt your face heat up. “Don’t worry, listener. It’s nothing. Thanks for the hot cup of joe, your name is Y/n, right?” He asked you.  

You nodded and he went about his way. “Wait! I meant to give this to you, it’s tonight’s script.” You called after him and handed him the folder. “Thank you, Y/n. I’ll read it over and get back to you.” He spoke and flashed you a smile that made something deep inside come awake.

After you had distributed the rest of the coffees to the other staff and had settled down to get working on the next script, you had received a message from one of your co-workers. “Hey, Y/n, can you be Mic’s co-host tonight? No one has volunteered yet and we didn’t line up any special ones since no one has either requested to be on the show or he’s requested that anyone comes on this time.” You groaned and rolled your eyes. This had been the usual message that had gone around when Mic didn’t have any special co-host such as some kind of other celebrity other than himself on the Friday night music show. You didn’t know why he needed a co-host on a show that mostly played non-stop music on Friday nights except that the hero liked having company during the late-night shows and his usual co-host was another pro hero that worked when he was on air. You typed up a response saying that you’d stay late and be his co-host for tonight before you went about your day answering emails and helping the new interns that got lost on the way to the bathroom. §§§§§

Once the last of the normal day staff had left for the day, it was only you, Present Mic, and the few night shift staff that stayed on to make sure the show ran smoothly. You had glanced down at your gym bag with your uniform inside, picked up the bag, and went to the bathroom to get changed. You came out a few minutes later donning your costume and you walked over to the recording studio with baited breath. You were nervous as you had only been in the studio to either gather up some left-over tapes or papers from the previous show or to help clean up the equipment. You knocked on the door and waited a moment and thought you heard some shuffling, a thud, and a groan. “Come in.” You heard a voice say. It sounded like whoever was inside had just woken up from a nap. You opened the door and saw the hero sitting up on the couch in the back of the studio next to the large window seat that overlooked the busy streets below. “Hi. I’m Y/n from earlier. I was the one who gave you the script for tonight.” You spoke as your heart was pounding knowing that you got to be the co-host on your favorite hero’s own radio show. “Oh, you’re the one that brought the coffee. It was good by the way.” He spoke as he stood up and pulled his leather jacket back on and sat down at the chair in front of the microphone. “I’m guessing you’re the lucky member of the staff that got picked to be my company tonight.” He asked as he prepared some of the equipment for the show that would be live soon.

“Y-yeah. I am. What do I do while I’m in here?” You asked. “Pull up a chair and just hang out. I don’t like being alone during these shows. That’s why I request that someone stays with me. I’d have my roommate join me but he patrols at night and doesn’t like being exposed to the media.” He spoke before looking over at you and he chuckled. “Relax, Y/n. I’m not going to bite you, unless you want me to.” He told you. This made your face heat up more as you pulled a chair from the corner of the room to sit next to him during the show. He put a microphone in front of you before he plugged in a couple more wired and tested the microphone with the producer who gave him a thumbs up before getting up and walking away. This made you even more nervous as you were now completely alone with him. You didn’t know what to think or say because you’ve had a crush on the hero for a long time now and you had a small feeling that he had feelings for you too. You took some deep breaths before the both of you went live. Hizashi had noticed that you were nervous and put a hand on your shoulder. “Relax. Just read over your parts in the script and take some deep breaths. I’m guessing this is your first time live on a radio show?” He asked as he handed you the script you had written. “Yes. This is my first time.” You told him as you took the script from him. “Let me know if I can help you with anything.” He spoke as he walked over to the door and made sure it was locked. You read over the script as the producer came back with a cup of what looked to be coffee in his hand. Hizashi communicated with him for a little bit as you kept reading over the script trying to memorize your lines. You couldn’t manage to even remember your opening line since you were too excited to be in this situation. The hero turned back to you and put his hands on your shoulders. “Y/n, you’re too excited to be in here with me. I can tell. Why don’t you forget the script and just be my guest tonight.” He spoke and pulled gently to the chair to sit down and relax. He sat back down in his chair and looked at you. “I should just get to it and tell you that I’ve developed feelings for you.” He confessed. You looked at him with a stunned look across your face. “Don’t you already have a significant other?” You asked once you found the ability to speak again.

“No. I don’t. But you could be that significant other if you wanted.” He responded and moved closer to you. You nodded and he pulled you into a kiss. The producer saw this and pulled a curtain from his side of the glass that separated the producer’s station from the soundproofed recording room. Hizashi sat back down in his chair and pulled you into his lap. He kissed you again and held you in his lap as he went to your neck to place a few kisses on your neck. The producer tapped on the glass to tell him that it was time to go live. “We will continue this later. Unless…You want to be the sheath for my current boner.” He offered as you had felt something poking against your inner thigh. “Yes.” You spoke quietly. He unzipped his pants and pulled his erect member and helped you down onto it. You covered your mouth to hide the moans that you so desperately wanted to let out. He let out a deep groan and turned to the speaker and gave his introduction without a skip in his speech. You rested against him and did your best to stay still as he talked about the night’s events and took a couple calls while keeping a hand on your hip. After what seemed to be forever, the show went to commercial break. You whimpered and he laid you out on the desk. “I know, I know, I didn’t give you attention. We only have three and a half minutes. So, let’s get down to business. Don’t worry about your moans, princess. The room is soundproofed.” He told you before thrusting into you. You let out the string of moans that you had been holding back into the room. The man above you kissed you deeply and bit gently on your neck just before he pulled you back to hide your face into his chest while he went back to the show. You didn’t know the three and a half minutes went by so quickly when you were on the edge of releasing. You moaned into his neck as he went on talking to callers. He rubbed your back and glanced down at you. He finished up with the callers and put on some music that would keep the listeners occupied for a while. He pulled you out of his chest and looked at you. “You shouldn’t have distracted me when I was with a caller, songbird. You now have my full attention for the next fifteen minutes.” He spoke before he began to pound into you hard for the next couple of minutes to the beat of the music that filled the studio before you shuddered and released. He groaned when he felt you clamp around him and he released his white-hot seed into you. He pulled you close and let you bury your face into his neck for the remainder of the time the both of you had while the rest of the music played over the radio. He rubbed your back and whispered praises into your ear about how good you were for him and how well you behaved yourself when he was talking to the callers. He wrapped up the show and put on the overnight playlist that would keep whoever was listening entertained for the night. He turned the mic off and pulled you off his lap. “Good girl. Let’s get you cleaned up and you can come to my place tonight if you’d like.” He told you as he cleaned up the area and shut off the unnecessary equipment for the nighttime shows. Your mind was still a bit cloudy from the stimulation you had been given and it took you a while to process what he said. “I’d like to stay at your place.” You responded. “Alright. Let’s go.” He said as he gathered up his stuff and held your hand as the two of you walked out of the station together.

Little did the both of you know, the producer had heard everything and the two of you would be the talk of the station by the next morning.

The end.  

[fanfics-arent-therapy-but-idc]

JATP FANFIC

Juke

Fluff

Oneshot

Time and Space

Julie and the boys decide to take a break from the band while Julie gets her bearings at college while they go and explore. Turns out that kindred spirits don’t take well to time and space.

Julie sat on the black swivel chair at the studio, back slightly arched over a keyboard as she recorded a new part to the chorus of a song she was working on. She hummed the lyrics lightly allowing her fingers to make what she heard in her head come to fruition. “Perfect” , she said once she added the keyboard to the song and replayed it. The song was mostly pop with a little bit of soul. It was right on brief as far as she was concerned, but the professors at Berklee were no joke. She just hoped that she did enough for an acceptable grade. After saving the song on her drive, she made her way to her room on 150 Massachusetts avenue. Her roommate, a dance major from Brazil, wasn’t going to be home until 11:00pm, meaning that she had two hours of alone time.

She entered the cozy room with a smile. Alana had turned on the L.E.D fairy lights and she could also smell the faint floral scent of the oil diffuser. She must have done this before she met up with her friends for their weekly Friday dinners . Julie locked the door, sat on her desk, and scribbled a note of gratitude, ending the note with a new Portuguese phrase that she’d picked up from her, “te amo muito”. After placing it on her bed, she began her nightly routine: shower, sing in the shower, wear her comfy pajamas(which consisted of an old, ripped up T-shirt that she had stolen from Luke years ago, and fluffy reindeer pajama pants), check her phone for messages, find out that she didn’t receive any, and ultimately sit on her bed for another hour with her notebook and a pencil. She usually felt most creative around this time, but tonight was not one of those nights. She stared at her phone that was all too proud to showcase her embarrassingly empty notifications list.

At first, the band came to the decision to go on hiatus for Julie’s sake. They had spent every hour of everyday together for two and a half years, cultivating a loyal following and making great music. A needed break, just so Julie could focus on school, was the logical move. Ever since they materialized as real people, they hadn’t spent much time exploring this new world. This was their chance. She mostly attributed the lack of communication to the fact that they probably still had no clue how to use smartphones and ignored the very plausible idea that they might have needed a break from her. She and Flynn spoke more often, but she was easily busier than Julie over at Northwestern with her double major in Performance studies and Film and Media studies.

Sigh. Julie fell backwards onto her bed and closed her eyes, remembering the day she left for Boston. It was still super hot in California, but she had a sweater stuffed into her carry-on for when she landed on the East Coast. The boys drove a separate car that contained most of her luggage, while her Dad, Flynn, and her brother were in another car, blasting the radio. Her father singing the loudest, trying to drown out the pang in his chest, Julie assumed. She was excited to go to college, but she would miss her hometown, her family, Flynn, and the boys. When they parked, the boys insisted on carrying all of the luggage. She had to wrestle Reggie to hold on to her carry-on. The boys wondered at everything they witnessed, none of them having taken a flight anywhere before dying. She distinctly remembers the way Luke smiled and waved at the troupe of pilots walking past them and towards their respective flights. When it was time for her to pass the threshold, her dad broke down, silent tears breaking through. “Mom would be so proud of you”, he assured her. Now it was Julie’s turn to cry. She hugged them all one more time, Luke last of all.

“Hey”, he started, “don’t forget about us when you become a cool, super smart, college student”. Julie laughed so hard that she startled the entire waiting area full of people.

“I promise that I won’t. And just because the band’s taking a break… that doesn’t mean you can’t call, or text, or video call. Don’t be a stranger.”

“Of course, once I figure out how to do that video call thing you’ll be seeing this face once a day”, he promised. Julie laughed again, wiped her tear-stained cheeks, and boarded her flight.

That was three weeks ago. The first time he video called her, the connection was poor, and they couldn’t hear each other. The second time he tried to call, she just got an embarrassingly bad grade on an exam that she had spent all night studying for in addition to being days behind on a project in the very same class. Julie lay in bed cringing at the memory of that afternoon.

“Hey Julie! woah, are you crying? What’s going on are you oka- “

“No- I mean I was, but I- I’m good now, just busy”,

“Oh. Well, what’s up?”

“Uh, nothing much honestly. Just… yeah just super busy”

“Julie, do you need me to hang up?”

“I’m so sorry, but yes. I’m just-”

“Busy? Got it. See you later”

She felt physically ill remembering that day. She had half a mind to text him an apology, but some sort of self-preservation setting inside of her stopped her every time. Knowing Luke, he’d probably texted everyone that she was super busy and not to be disturbed. Maybe that’s why she’s been left on radio silence for a week. Her dad even downsized from his daily calls and he always kept them under ten minutes; even if she insisted that she had more time. She was just about to call it a night when her phone vibrated. She froze. Don’t get too excited. It’s probably from one of your professors.

It wasn’t. Julie blinked and turned the brightness all the way up on her phone. The message read:

🎶Luke🎶: Hey, are you busy?

Julie was quick to respond:

You: No, not at all. Wanna talk?

Just as the little notification popped up to indicate that her message was delivered, there was a knock on her door. She assumed that it was Alana coming home early. She frequently forgot her keys so it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility, but who she opened the door for was completely unexpected.

“Dad! Carlos! What are you doing here?” Standing in front of her door was her dad and brother. She hugged them tightly and to more of her surprise, just outside the doorway was Flynn, Alex, Reggie, and Luke, standing humbly behind everyone else.

“Don’t be mad at us”, Alex said, “Luke made it very clear that this surprise could not be spoiled under any circumstances”.

“But we’re not that good at keeping secrets,” Reggie added.

“So you all decided to ghost me?” she questioned.

“Sort of”, Alex responded quietly. They were all looking at her. Wondering if they had made a grave mistake and if she would slam the door in their faces. She wouldn’t.

“Well… the risk was worth it. I am officially surprised!” she whispered, realizing that her fellow, sleep-deprived, students would not appreciate the interruption. The look of relief on everyone’s face was hilarious.

“Come on everyone, let’s get out of this hallway. I know a good 24-hour diner just around here. They have seats big enough for all of us”, Julie suggested.

“That sounds great Julie, but please tell me that you're getting changed first?” Flynn asked.

Julie remembered that she was in her ‘comfy clothes’. Clothes consisting of Luke’s shirt and Christmas pajamas. “Uhhh, yeah. Give me a minute”. She shut the door, jumped into a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a sweatshirt. “Okay, now I’m ready! Let’s go”.

The walk to the Diner was short, but Julie had learnt a lot. Carlos just started a photography club at his school, Flynn’s roommate, Justine, has an aunt who owns a hair salon, meaning discounted box braids all year. She was really excited about that. Reggie has been surprising fans at local cafes with acoustic versions of the band’s best hits. Alex has been holed up in every museum and library in California and Dad was up to the same old stuff, taking photos, cooking, and whatever old people do, Julie added to her dad’s protest.

“I am not old”, he responded as he pushed open the Diner doors. The place was pretty clean to most city-dwellers standards. The faded blue and yellow banquets surrounded the walls and long wooden tables were placed across from them. Julie took the liberty of snagging a few stools from the counter, seeing as the room was empty. Julie, Carlos, and her Dad sat on the stools while the rest of the crew spread out on the banquets. When the waitress came around she informed them that they were in luck and that there was a fresh batch of maple bacon and regular glazed hot out of the deep fryer. They ordered one of each for everyone, along with a pot of classic Diner coffee and a pitcher of water for Carlos. As they waited for their desserts, the group fell into a lull. Julie took this chance to get into Luke’s head. He had planned an entire trip across the country for her, but he hadn’t said more than twenty words to her since she’d layed eyes on him.

“So, Luke,” she started tentatively, “what have you been up to? Visit any museums lately?”

“Pfft I wish!” her father exclaimed. She peeked over at a mortified Luke and the sympathetic stares of his friends. “I swear all he ever does is sit in that studio, write songs, and sulk”, he continued mercilessly, only stopping when the waitress arrived.

“Here are the donuts. The coffee and water are coming right up”.

“Thank you so much,” her Dad responded kindly. “Now back to what I was say-”

“Julie, can we talk… outside,” Luke interrupted. Flynn and Carlos tried to stifle a laugh that ended in both of them choking on their donuts. Julie was… confused to say the least but she obliged, standing and walking shyly past the door he opened for her.

‘It’s freezing out here!’ She wanted to say to cut the tension, but she knew that the weather was not one of the topics of conversation that Luke had on his mind. They were walking now, taking small steps to nowhere in particular. Luke spoke first.

“So, as your father has so kindly told you, our beloved friends, and the entire Diner staff, I’m sort of miserable without you”.

Julie snorted. “Well, to be honest, I'm not having such a great time without you either. We’re really that co-dependent, huh?” Luke was smiling next to her and she was smiling back. She really did miss his smile.

“Ha, well, you say co-dependent, and I say that I'm deeply in love with you,” he shrugged, “same difference”. What? Julie froze. She was not prepared for this, but one could say that that was just bad planning on her part. Julie still remembers the day when she almost lost him to Caleb. The feeling of absolute darkness surrounding her heart, the feeling of heartbreak and anger. She was way too young to call that feeling love, but looking back, looking at all of the late-night songwriting sessions and the way she lost all ability to speak when he gave her that smile, maybe it was. Maybe it still is. Realizing that Luke was watching her, she tried to utter some sort of response.

“Luke, I-”

“You don’t have to say it back, in fact I'm asking you not to, but just hear me out on this one request. Please?”

“Okay.”

“Let me stay.”

“Where? My dorm room. I think that Alana and my dad might have something to say about that,” she answered, unsure of where this was going.

“Very funny Molina. He was doing his nervous finger twitch. “C’mon lighten the mood Julie!” She chastised herself.

“Right? I should drop out and pursue a career in come-”

“Let me stay here in Boston”, he butted in. She didn’t mind because she could see how much what he wanted to say scared him. “I'll get my own place, I'll work crappy retail jobs when all my money runs out, I’ll busk on the streets for all I care, but I… I need this. He was gesturing at the two of them.

Julie stood there unmoving. He needed her. The sentiment was horrifying and exciting at the same time, but she couldn’t hide her truth when he was showing his off right in front of her. To her, he was that bit of California sunshine she was always missing, the series of sounds that filled the empty part of a song she was producing, he was like the sweet glaze on a soft donut; he completed her. Without thinking, she grabbed his shaking hands and placed them on her cheeks. Like from memory, he was caressing her face. She placed her hands on his face and did the same. For a split second, Julie was sixteen again, in her mother’s studio, holding on tight to what she had left, what she wanted more than anything.

“I need you too, Luke. You're the glaze to my donut.” It was Luke’s turn to laugh now. Julie knew it was a stupid metaphor, but it got the job done and it made him smile.

“Oh my gosh that was terrible”, he teased, putting both hands over his mouth in shock, “how did you get into Berklee?”

“That’s a lot of talk coming from someone who didn’t get into Berklee”, she teased back, arms folded.

“Hey, don’t underestimate me! I could have gotten in had I applied”, he assured her.

“You don’t even have a transcript, Luke.”

“Once again, do not underestimate my skills of persuasion. I managed to get you to let three ghosts live in your studio” he replied.

“Fine. Then apply next semester,” she teased.

“Is that a challenge, Molina?”

“More like an invitation”, Julie looked him in the eyes now, all jokes aside.

“I’ll be there. Always”, he answered.

“Wow. That was, inspiring”, said a familiar voice, “but can we please get back to the hotel? The waitress just warned us that we don’t want to be walking around here after dark.”

Julie and Luke turned in unison to see a paranoid Alex standing in front them. “Oh, and congratulations on the two of you finally realizing that you are literally inseparable. This past month has been torture for me! Now c’mon, let’s go before we get murdered, but for real this time.”

The trio walked back into the Diner with Luke and Julie holding hands. This was met with various cheers, chants, and a relieved “finally”! from Julie’s dad. “Now I can use my studio in peace!”

THE END!

[super-famicom-star-inactive]

Friday Special #2

November 6th, 2020

(Just pretend this is on time shhhh)

Welcome to today's Friday Special!

For today's episode, we'll be diving into who is arguably on the best underrated composers in gaming history

Regarded as "the best composer with the worst luck", I present Tim Follins, one of the best composers you've never heard of!

Backstory

Tim Follins was born on December 19, 1970 in St. Helen's, Lancashire, England. Although he has no formal musical training, his first exposure to the gaming industry was when he joined up with Insight Studios at the age of fifteen. From there, his first works were done for games on the 8-bit computer classics such as the Commodore 64 and the ZX Spectrum. His first known project was Subterranean Stryker for the ZX Spectrum in March of 1985.

He would work on ZX Spectrum projects until 1987 where he would compose the music for Agent X II: The Mad Prof's Back not only for the ZX Spectrum but also for the Commodore 64 (His first outing with the computer). Until then, some of his more notable projects included Vectron and Chronos for the ZX Spectrum. 

1987 was also the year he tried out the Atari ST, where he composed and arranged the music for Bubble Bobble (also for the Commodore 64 and ZX Spectrum)

Follin was busy with other titles afterwards such as Black Lamp, Star Paws, and Body Slam to name a few. Then later in 1988, he finally had the chance to work on a console, specifically the legendary NES system. Now greeted with a much better, more complex sound system for music, he expanded on what the NES could do musically, producing some of the most innovative music of the time. His first game for the NES was Sky Shark as composer and arranger. 

Still having ties with the 8-bit computers, he continued to produce music for the Commodore 64, ZX Spectrum, and Atari ST through the rest of the 1980s, working on project such as Bionic Commando and L.E.D. Storm, two of his more well-known projects. By 1990, he had officially switched to NES, producing compositions for games such as Pictionary, Silver Surfer, Solstice, The New Zealand Story (known as Kiwi Kraze in America) and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (Taito version). 

Gauntlet III (1991) was the last time Follin would ever work for the Commodore 64, ZX Spectrum, and Atari ST systems before becoming strictly part of the console gaming world. Reviews were mixed about the game, but the music was consistently a highlight across the board.

Follin would then be introduced to the SNES in 1992 through the game Spider-Man/X-Men: Arcade's Revenge and among other games, it was during this era in 1993 that he worked on Plok, an underrated gem for the console that he was the co-composer on with his brother Geoff Follin. His music was so innovative for the time that Shigeru Miyamoto, the creator of Super Mario, thought that the synthesized harmonica part in the main title music was real. When you impress someone like him, you know you’ve done something right. 

Give it a listen for yourself (this is the extended version)

He also had the opportunity to work on other consoles such as the SEGA Genesis/Mega Drive and SEGA CD around the same time period as well such as Batman Forever, Prime, and Time Trax (it was never released) as well as the Sony Playstation with games like Batman and Robin. He also did a few Game Boy Color games such as South Park (the very first South Park game ever made at all and it was never released at the behest of the original creators), and WWF Warzone. 

Follins entered the 2000s with Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future for the SEGA Dreamcast (later ported to the Playstation 2 in 2002). The early 2000s saw him work on music for Starsky and Hutch, Ford Racing 2, Future Tactics: The Uprising, and Ford Racing 3 for Playstation 2, XBox, and GameCube. 

Sadly his last contribution for the gaming world was his composing work for the game Lemmings on the PSP, and Playstation 2 and 3 in 2006. Although the game did receive positive reviews, he exited the gamiing industry all together. On a panel recently, he explained that his leaving of the gaming industry was due in part to being mismanaged on teams that he collaborated with over the years as well as being bored with writing music and wanting to try something different. Fans believe that it was partially due to his bad luck, that because he worked on games only did okay or that they weren’t as popular as other titles of the time period. 

He did come back for one more stint in the form of a FMV mobile game called  Contradiction: Spot the Liar! in 2015.

Since then, he has switched industries to pursue the graphic arts and film.

Thoughts from the Head

I first came to discover him through one of Larry Bundy Jr.’s videos on YouTube (if my memory serves me). In my recommended, the video for the main title theme for the 1990 NES title Pictionary was there so I clicked it. I wasn’t prepared for how much it slapped.

IT WAS JUST PICTIONARY TIM

If you want to know a more in-depth look at his work, GST Channel has a fantastic video about this madlad.

Just do yourselves a favor and listen to his stuff, his compositions are insane. 

[oculablog]

James Turrell, Atlantis, Medium Rectangle Glass (2019). L.E.D. light, etched glass and shallow space. 142.2 x 185.4 cm. © James Turrell. Photo credit: Flying Studio, Los Angeles. 

[dancerzone]

C h a p t e r　L i s t 01 Bleeding Luv ～Immorality act～ / Xephia (Tatsh+Yuta) 02 quell -the seventh slave- / dj TAKA Vs. DJ YOSHITAKA 03 breathless / Studio Bongo Mango feat.Tomoko Kataoka 04 QUANTUM TELEPORTATION / L.E.D. 05 Shoot'Em All / Manabu Namiki 06 Go Beyond!! / Ryu☆ Vs. Sota 07 Hybrid Landscape / Sota Fujimori 08 Infinite cave / 猫叉Master+ 09 SOLID STATE SQUAD / kors k Vs. L.E.D. 10 VANISHING POINT / DJ CHUCKY 11 WaterCube Pf.(RX-Ver.S.P.L.) / 高田雅史 12 Chain of pain / kors k VS 猫叉Master+ 13 GOLDEN CROSS / dj REMO-CON VS dj TAKA 14 Playball / sanodg 15 Guilt & Love / The Plastic Ambition (jun & DJ YOSHITAKA) 16 PentaCube Gt.(RX-Ver.S.P.L.) / 高田雅史 17 The Story Begins / SADA & Sota 18 SEQUENCE CAT / SLEDLAKE (SLAKE & L.E.D.) 19 Treasure×Star / NAOKI & Ryu☆ fw.さちまゆ 20 THE DETONATOR / teranoid VS L.E.D.-G 21 Welcome / Uraken 22 Around The Galaxy / NISH 23 BEAUTIFUL ANGEL / DJ SWAN 24 Biometrics Warrior / GUHROOVY fw.NO+CHIN 25 BRAINSTORM / Hardcore United Tokyo (teranoid & DJ TECHNORCH) 26 Claiomh Solais / DJ Yoshitaka VS S.S.D. 27 Sidechained Threats / sanodg 28 symptom / kobo vs kr:agué 29 VOX UP / sampling masters MEGA vs 青龍 30 Cookie Bouquets / L.E.D. vs TOMOSUKE fw.crimm 31 REPLAY / SLAKE 32 smooooch・∀・ / kors k ------------------ Support the Stream! I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like my work, you can buy me a pizza and share your thoughts 🎉🍕 https://bit.ly/3xv3LoL I started a Ko-fi Page! Ko-fi helps creators get support from fans of their work. Please support or follow my page! https://bit.ly/3NYVlv9 Give me a Tip : paypal.me/robo2001 ================= Refrescamos nuestra imagen, y te invitamos a vivir la experiencia Dancerzone Perú Pagina Oficial en todos nuestros canales virtuales Portal https://bit.ly/3N0lzMd Facebook: https://bit.ly/3N9DeS5 Instagram https://bit.ly/3MVQ0TR Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/DancerZone Tumblr https://bit.ly/3zNsTI6 Canal de YouTube: http://goo.gl/4vzD87 Blog Oficial: https://bit.ly/3aZEs4L ¡DESPIERTA TU RITMO INTERIOR! ============================================== Propiedad de ©Konami .Todas las imágenes y contenido mostrado aquí son solo de carácter ilustrativo y son propiedad de sus respectivos autores. Property of ©Konami All images and material used here are only for Illustrative purposes, and are propriety of their respective authors . by DancerZone

[chromet]

H2 by Heron Preston for H&M Boxy Rugby Polo shirt

Available HERE for purchase on @grailed

[retrocgads]

USA 1997

[freshfm]

Home made L.E.D Light for my studio. 2 more to make. Thank you to my mrs and mum for the help #homeimprovement #freshgaming @gael.level credit to @gael.level for the youtube video that helped me make this... https://www.instagram.com/p/CC57cZBgqsH/?igshid=1uy5espocvnm4

[edmlivesets4u-blog]

Listen or download Global DJ Broadcast: Markus Schulz 2 Hour Mix (Feb 20 2020) for free now!

Artist: Markus Schulz Show: Markus Schulz – Global DJ Broadcast: Markus Schulz 2 Hour Mix (Feb 20 2020) Quality: 320 Kbps 48000 Khz Genre: Trance Source: RSS

Every Thursday Markus Schulz brings his legendary dark melodic Trance sound with a 2-hour weekly edition of his famous “Global DJ Broadcast” radio show! Since 2002, Markus Schulz has delivered a slice of his trademark sound through his weekly radio show, Global DJ Broadcast. Today, it remains one of the most respected and critically acclaimed radio shows across all of dance music, accumulating over 20 FM and online syndication partners in the process. The show features Markus each week alongside some of the world’s biggest and best DJs. Guests within the past year have included Paul van Dyk, Ferry Corsten, Andy Moor, Gareth Emery, Cosmic Gate, Marco V and Max Graham. Tune in to Markus Schulz – Global DJ Broadcast: Markus Schulz 2 Hour Mix (Feb 20 2020) now!

Discover more Markus Schulz live sets & radioshows here

Markus Schulz – Global DJ Broadcast: Markus Schulz 2 Hour Mix (Feb 20 2020) Tracklist

Following his performance at A State of Trance 950 in Utrecht, Markus Schulz finds himself home at the Coldharbour studios in Miami for a brief stay before setting off on a month long trip around the world. He continues the momentum with a fresh 2 hour journey across trance, progressive and techno, ahead of Saturday night’s open to close solo set at 99 Scott in Brooklyn.

  Hope you enjoy the latest Global DJ Broadcast. And you are also welcome to check out the second edition of Markus’ new monthly companion mix series, with Destinations 2 available exclusively on Spotify.

Markus Schulz

01. Arkham Knights – Medusa

02. Boombastix – The Awakening (Ahmed Helmy Remix)

03. Rank 1 & Cosmic Gate vs. Grooveloverz, Miss Jane & Swiss – It’s a Fine Day to L.E.D. There Be Light (Markus Schulz Mashup) [Mashup of the Week]

04. Tritonal – Valkyrie

05. Markus Schulz & Adina Butar – Indestructible

06. Mike EFEX – Fireball

07. DIM3NSION – Santa Cruz [Global Selection]

08. Dave Neven vs. Sean & Xander – Phoenix Rising

09. Above & Beyond – Blue Monday

10. Ruben de Ronde & Evgeny Lebedev – Neverlost

11. Kryder – Rusty Trombone

12. Daxson – Atomica

13. Jam & Spoon featuring Plavka – Right in the Night (Johan Gielen Remix)

14. NOMADsignal – Rontgen [Sound from the Rabbithole]

15. Markus Schulz and Departure with Gabriel & Dresden – Without You Near (Fisherman Remix)

16. Chuck Luis – Collision [Classic of the Week]

17. Fonzerelli – In My Dream

18. Pavel Khvaleev & Avis Vox – Everything

19. Sultan + Shepard – Kochi

20. Matt Fax – Light On

21. DT8 Project – The Dark

22. Cristoph – Sleepless Nights

23. My Cat Snoop – Shungite

24. Gai Barone – An Emotionally Distant Guy

25. Mark Reeve – Distance

26. Ilija Djokovic – Nova

27. Sunny Lax – Solar Plexus

28. Kaiserdisco – Taipan

29. Alex Bilancini – Oblivion

30. Alex M.O.R.P.H. – Blue Bird

31. Atlantis – Fiji (ReOrder Remix)

32. Markus Schulz & HALIENE – Ave Maria (In Search of Sunrise Outro Mix)

[rmilesmajorone2019]

Mock up of my film:

Here I have edited together my water reflection footage in the studio and my L.E.D light test that illuminate my subject. This is a rough mock up of the final film, which helps me see what works well and what is missing that will tie the film together. 

Successful elements to keep:

I have started framing my film in a circle which evokes connotations of the moon. I think this really works to understand the luminous moments more and gives cohesion to the different elements of the piece. I also think the multiple layers of water reflections really helps this and conveys a mystical sense. I will be keeping this water footage and using it in my final piece.

Elements to work on:

So far I have used who is available (myself and Lynn) to sort out the technical elements; reflection in water, light etc. Having two faces doesn’t get across the concept. Once I have one person interested in acting this will be much more cohesive as a whole. Something else I will change is using more clips where the reflection is moving. In the beginning here, my reflection is mostly still which doesn’t look like I’m looking at my reflection in water, but rather straight forward at audience instead.

What next?

I’m aiming to find found footage for the flashback and flash forward visuals as I want a distorted memory of drowning and one of being in the womb. In once instance unable to breath and once able to breath in fluid. The ‘flash forward’ visual allows the potential for her to see herself pregnant in the future, or for it to be her in the womb, representing rebirth and the cycle of life. The ambiguity in the imagery leaves it up to interpretation of the audience. I have used water as a vehicle for portraying its dual qualities of destruction, threat, and life, healing and rebirth. I am using ‘flashback’ and ‘flash forward’ as loose terms.

[cheapsk8studios]

This l.e.d. #ropelight sure gives the #controlroom some really great #vibes - - - #cheapsk8studios #recordingstudio #cheapsk8 #studios #recording #studio #music #musicstudio #musicproduction #studiolife #wallingford (at Cheapsk8 Studios LLC)

[agilenano]

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Agilenano - News from Agilenano from shopsnetwork (4 sites) https://agilenano.com/blogs/news/big-space-led-tractor-lights-1