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bonefall · 4 months ago

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Yo, need some help with the BB au's warrior code (working on the wiki). Cus 1-4 are confirmed from the history post, but what order are the rest of them in??

Oh this is actually something I've been meaning to get to. I swung over to the wiki page and I see you're working with a bundle of unconnected posts, and the REALLY old first draft-- it's waaay overdue that I make an update that also contains an official addressing of some of the biggest changes that have happened since then.

I'm gonna try to fix that for you now. Here's a rough draft of BB!Warrior Code 2.0, including snappier names and new thoughts for the associated stories.

I'm also trying to make each commandment more... sociological. In contrast to canon's code, I want these to be more open to interpretation, but also gesture at deeper social values that Clan cats have.

After all, it's the Warrior Code. I've always felt like it should have a similar vibe to chivalry or bushido, y'know? Not just a list of laws, but a "guide" to living as an honorable warrior.

(and, like chivalry and bushido, it's much less "inherently" noble than it seems, easily twisted into something destructive and only protecting other people in your caste.)

The plan here is that I'm going to post this in a rough state so you can get it on the Wiki, AND everyone can toss up input on this. When I feel satisfied, I'm gonna hit up Trout to make official Clanmew translations, and then I'm going to work with one/some of the artists in my spreadsheet to make this its own post.

So, the next time you see this will likely be a lot cleaner and have revisions.

IN SHORT:

Law of the Border "A Clan is the exclusive ruler of its domain; a Star is the exclusive ruler of its Clan. Borders are set to mark this land. To trespass is to offend the stars."

Law of Honor "An honorable warrior does not need to kill to win their battles, except when the foe is dishonorable or it is necessary for self-defense."

Law of the Deputy "The Star is to choose a responsible Deputy to rule alongside them who shall carry the starlight after their death. A Clan must never go past moonhigh without a Deputy appointed."

Law of Loyalty "Defend your Clan, even with your life. No love for an outsider shall outweigh your loyalty to your Clan."

Law of Priority / Prey Priority Privilege "An honorable warrior would starve before letting those they protect go hungry."

Law of Grace "StarClan is to be thanked for what it provides. To waste their blessings or blaspheme their light is treason against the Stars."

Law of Seasons "A kitten must see two seasons before it can become an apprentice. An apprentice must train for two seasons before it can become a warrior. A warrior should handle all four seasons alone before becoming a mentor."

Law of the Challenge / Right to Challenge "All warriors who bare a blessed name from StarClan are entitled to defend their honor. The right to challenge, or to accept a challenge in turn, shall not be infringed upon without reason."

Law of the Wild "A warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet."

Law of the Cleric's Vow "A cleric who takes a mate or has kittens has violated their sacred vow, and must have their privilege of being StarClan's herald revoked."

Law of the Gathering / Full Moon Truce "Under the light of the full moon, all Clans shall send representatives to the Gathering to hear the news of the leaders. There will be a truce that lasts from sundown to sunrise, and attendance is a privilege."

Law of the First Tasks "Before an apprentice can receive their holy name by the power vested in their Star, first they must complete three sacred tasks; a warrior's assessment, a complete vigil, and a pilgrimage."

Law of the Leader's Right / Dalestar's Law / The Leader's Rights "By the power of the Star they carry, the word of a leader shall be recognized as the warrior code."

Law of the Three Kittens / Darkstar's Law / The Queen's Rights "No action, inaction, or accusation may ever allow a kit to be put in danger, no matter what Clan their parents were from. All queens shall have the right to not reveal the origin of their litter, even under suspicion of codebreaking."

Law of the Lake "Every Clan has the right to fight for its honor and independence, but the Clans of the lake shall never allow another to suffer or collapse. In dire times, all the cats of the lake understand their ancestral command; unite or die."

Law of Love / Bristlefrost's Law "If a cat wishes to walk alongside the warrior of another Clan, their beloved may ask their Star to issue a challenge to prove their new loyalty. If this challenge is overcome, their love shall be known as StarClan's will."

Law of Kickum Buttocks / Leader-B-Gone "girl help im still figuring out how I'm going to rewrite the new law about kicking out leaders. It is too long and too hyperspecific. There's absolutely no way for it to get legitimately used in canon, let alone be a relevant plot point."

If a previous post contradicts this one, assume this one overrules it. You can feel free to ask about it though! There's probably a reason I changed it, and I'll hear you out if you think an older version was stronger.

The Borbior Bode. I mean the BB!Warrior Code.

(Under the cut)

COMMANDMENT 1: Law of the Border "A Clan is the exclusive ruler of its domain; a Star is the exclusive ruler of its Clan. Borders are set to mark this land. To trespass is to offend the stars."

The legend goes that after the carnage of the First Battle, StarClan granted a fragment of a star to the leaders of the five Clans. This piece of a star is what legitimizes their right to the land they rule, so the leader is technically the owner of the Clan's domain and has authority over it.

In practice, this means that Clan leaders have the right to claim and control everything that is "part of their land," their domain. This usually refers to prey, but also includes herbs, goods, and even warriors with a holy, StarClan-ordained name that swear fealty to them.

Most often, this is the law that is cited to justify territory expansions, by changing borders. It also tends to come up in "economic" circumstances. When Onestar launched an embargo against ShadowClan during the Yellowcough Epidemic preventing mullein from being brought to them, he cited this law, because that herb only grows in WindClan moorland.

The intent behind this commandment is VERY different from its modern use. There were originally just two "commandments," this one and the Law of Honor, and it was essentially serving the purpose that later laws (namely 6, 8, 10 and 13) would more explicitly outline. Its purpose wasn't to put absolute power over territory into the paws of a leader, but to command the Clans to respect each other's autonomy.

In fact, the wording is weird to reflect that.

In Clanmew, the verb here for "trespass" is meant in the sense of "to disrespect," and which "stars" are being offended is unclear. It was originally meant religiously-- the angry ancestors who halted the First Battle would be offended if the Clans treated each other poorly. Over time, "the stars" came to be interpreted as offending the leader of the Clan, as in "issuing a challenge to them."

But its modern interpretation is all that matters, now. And it's widely accepted to mean "Leader owns everything in its Clan's borders, fight them if you don't like that."

COMMANDMENT 2: Law of Honor "An honorable warrior does not need to kill to win their battles, except when the foe is dishonorable or it is necessary for self-defense."

I'm considering rewording this one in a small but significant way because I have plans to play with the "dishonorable foe" clause. The ideologies of Fire Alone and Thistle Law clash over the philosophical idea of the Code's protection applying to outsiders at all, so I realized that I don't need to have "unless they are outside of the code" written into any specific commandment.

So, instead, this version would mention dishonorability. To invoke this commandment to kill is always an accusation, and to accept that it was used against your loved one means admitting they were "dishonorable." To be outside of the code, to be unable to contribute, or to be HalfClan could mean you're inherently dishonorable... if someone like Tigerstar wants an excuse to hurt you.

Unsure, though. I do like the wording of the canon commandment, "unless they are outside of the warrior code or it is necessary for self-defense." I do like the way that it says, right away, that they don't see outsider cats as being protected by this law. I like how weaselly it is.

COMMANDMENT 3: Law of the Deputy "The Star is to choose a responsible Deputy to rule alongside them who shall carry the starlight after their death. A Clan must never go past moonhigh without a Deputy appointed."

Developed as a result of the events of Riverstar's Heir. When King Riverstar passed away with the inheritance of the River Kingdom unclear, his oldest living biological son stepped forward to claim his "birthright." The son decided to throw a celebration before going to claim his lives, not knowing that there was a saboteur prepared to slip poison into his prey.

The cat who would have been considered Riverstar's "deputy" by modern standards, Flowers Come First, desperately tried to keep the Kingdom together as other cats tried to carve out claims to the leaderless land. After dozens were killed and injured in a civil conflict (sometimes called The Second Battle), the ShadowClan Cleric, Redscar, was called in as a mediator to determine the rightful leader.

But, before he determined that Flowerstar would lead next, it was ensured that all of the Clans would come together to accept this as a new law. To prevent this kind of succession crisis from ever occurring again.

(BB!ASC LOOMS IN THE DISTANCE)

This commandment was technically the first "addition" to the law, but at the time, it was considered the "birth" of the Warrior Code. Before this, it was more of a pair of principles from StarClan.

As a note; in the Clanmew, "Responsible" Deputy implies a warrior who has trained an apprentice or has raised children. I'm unsure if linguistic drift now means that HAS to be an apprentice or not, but there are probably historic cases where a Mi with a ton of grown kittens took power.

COMMANDMENT 4: Law of Loyalty "Defend your Clan, even with your life. No love for an outsider shall outweigh your loyalty to your Clan."

This law was famously introduced after Ryewhisker gave his life to defend his mate, Cloudberry, in a battle between their Clans. It's usually considered the first proper "addition" to the Warrior Code, but a real debate about if 3 or 4 is the first "amendment" would probably be considered a sort of pedantic argument by most.

(side funfact; In Clanmew there's a term for that. It's called a "Shineless Fight," or a "matte match." Basically a silly battle that doesn't invite attention from StarClan.)

Its ratification came even in spite of Cloudberry's heated opposition to it. The ancient practice of Kitten Stealing was born from this commandment, justified by ancient actions taken by Skystar during the Dawn Era. Cloudberry watched her kittens grow, inheriting a world far worse than the one she'd loved Ryewhisker in.

When she was reunited with her mate in death, they refused to be part of a StarClan cruel enough to support and approve of a law written to condemn their love. Without a moment's hesitation, the lovers fled into the Place of No Stars together, vowing that they would not rest in peace until the evil commandment was overturned.

They do even more than just that, too.

When cross-Clan mates need protection from discovery, the lovers will hide them from watchful eyes under the cover of yew branches. If the stars burn brightly to document the sins of forbidden friends, Cloudberry will cool them with rain while Ryewhisker bends the grass to guide them to safety. They are demons acting as guardian angels, for those who God has abandoned.

...Also, author's note, I've done rewording to this law. I'm trying to make sure all types of love (platonic, romantic, familial, plus the clan culture concepts for these) are equally important narratively. It's both something I care about as an artist, and also something I think makes the story better.

DIVERSITY WIN! Your queerplatonic cross-clan relationship is equally treasonous!

On that note, I also cut the "reassurance" from the law entirely. The canon law says "you may have friendships, but be careful because you might meet them in battle," to imply it's fine to just be friendly, but I feel like it fits BB better to just not explicitly spell that out. I generally think it's a better idea to stress how individuals interpret the law.

COMMANDMENT 5: Law of Priority "An honorable warrior would starve before letting those they protect go hungry."

In Clanmew, the wording will be closer to this; "The true warrior Wants before those they protect would Need," which means that the warrior's desires go unfulfilled if their "charges" have unmet needs. It applies very broadly to almost anything-- food, medicine, rest, tools, etc. It's not just about hunger, but it's been translated in a way to communicate its spirit to an English-speaking audience.

This does typically mean that kittens, elders, and the Cleric eat first, but it's also one of the laws that particularly noble warriors would repeat to themselves as a mantra. It stresses self-sacrifice in service of the weak. On the flip side, a more authoritarian cat can easily twist this code to accuse someone else of being dishonorable, if they're "taking" too much.

Full disclosure, this one's still pretty big WIP material. I haven't made a lot of progress on the origin story of this one, or what its sociological impacts were.

In fact, laws 5, 6, and 7 are WIP territory. They might get shuffled in order or reworded in the future, though their "spirit" is going to stay the same.

What I DO know about the Law of Priority's backstory is that it's probably not going to be born from a battle on Sunningrocks. Most of the canon equivalent law from COTC is actually going to get repurposed into BB!Darkstar's Commandment, and Commandment 11 by proxy. It's more likely I'll take a bunch of the spare ancient warriors and come up with some original big disaster that spurred it on.

COMMANDMENT 6: Law of Grace "StarClan is to be thanked for what it provides. To waste their blessings or blaspheme their light is treason against the Stars."

Also known as Dovestar's Law. Possibly one of the most prone to being interpreted in different lights between leaders. It's not a law explicitly requiring belief, but it does command religious performance from all Clan cats.

...which, functionally, does mean that cats like Cloudtail and Mothwing have always been pressured into taking part in rituals they don't want to be part of.

For example, when prey is killed, Cloudtail gets offended looks when he doesn't send a prayer to StarClan. If it wasn't for Ferncloud and Elderberry being so close to him, he might have been denied getting Ashpaw as an apprentice due to a refusal to swear a religious oath. Worse, if Bluestar hadn't been leader at the time, not pressing his nose to the Moonstone might have prevented him from becoming a warrior at all.

(as a personal note, as an atheist, ive always found the way that canon dances around acknowledging the destructive aspects of organized religion EXTREMELY frustrating. Especially in COTC, where it's mentioned that Dovestar wanted to codify a religious commandment but failed, and Leafpool smugly chuckles at the leader for being so surprised. It felt like such a "writer's mouthpiece" moment. girl it's a cult in the woods. you wrote scourge as an evil atheist. your cats have catholic guilt, just own it)

The second most important legal use of this law is to punish contact with the spirits of demons-- residents of the Place of No Stars. There are several forbidden techniques for utilizing the power of these spirits, namely "Channeling," the direct summoning of a spirit (as opposed to "Invoking," which is when StarClan as an entity is used as an "operator" to get in touch with an angel in its ranks).

Casually this is referred to as "witchcraft" or "forbidden magic."

But, in addition to being a religious law, it is also a law against overhunting and waste. Especially of "blessed" animals, such as bats and songbirds, which are considered downright sinful to kill. If you knowingly destroy beautiful things without a good reason, "wasting" a blessing, it's not JUST a sin, but a crime.

It's possibly one of the most relevant laws in the day-to-day lives of warriors. ShadowClan cats in particular take this VERY literally, believing that they should also try to salvage a use from ALL things they kill. Including badgers.

COMMANDMENT 7: Law of Seasons "A kitten must see two seasons before it can become an apprentice. An apprentice must train for two seasons before it can become a warrior. A warrior should handle all four seasons alone before becoming a mentor."

This commandment was worded and introduced by Daisytail, rallying all the parents of the Clans, to protect young cats from two battle hungry leaders who were foisting fights and responsibilities on those who physically could not be ready.

This story won't change much from its COTC equivalent, besides maybe adding an extra detail that young apprentices were being given to young warriors, less than two years old. A very young warrior might had never handled the season they're now training an apprentice in, leading to things like;

Being unable to identify thin ice

Not knowing how cold temperatures change how scent works

Unfamiliarity with hunting in snowy conditions

Lack of education on wintertime animal behavior

Ultimately though, the point of this law is simply to codify "minimums" of the age brackets. Most cats train longer than that, and they are strictly grouped socially.

In fact, because of the fact these cats age so rapidly during their first year and then "slow down" afterwards, "rank" is a LOT more important socially than chronological age.

As an example, Reedwhisker has a nightmarish, two-year-long apprenticeship due to mentor abuse. He was considered an apprentice in age that entire time. Having an extended mentorship is literally like being forced to stay a teenager. This is as hellish as it sounds.

Overall though, for BB, this commandment is going to be a lot more relevant for the mentor/apprentice aspects instead of "early apprentice" infractions. Even the most evil, short-sighted leader can realize that getting kids killed before they turn into adult soldiers is self-defeating.

One of the more notorious changes of BB is the fact Brokenstar isn't going to be using child soldiers. What he DOES do is approve of Runningnose's plan to murder a blind kitten so that they can frame Shroompelt for it, exiling her as Yellowfang and FINALLY getting her out of the way so they can commit a massacre against WindClan.

(still evil just a different kind of evil <3)

I've been really wishy-washy on what happened with Badgerfang specifically, because I didn't want to eliminate the tragic story beat of a young life being wasted. But I've finally decided what I'm going to do. Badgerfang was just a fresh apprentice, nothing special, nothing "illegal," just like all of the other adolescents who took part in that battle.

I don't think he should have to be legally too young for it to be absolutely horrific that a kid was killed during the invasion of someone else's home. He was the equivalent of a 13-year-old and he was gored by someone who was confused and terrified in the middle of the night, bleeding to death in his uncle's paws.

For Flintfang, in that moment, it has nothing to do with recommitting himself to the "warrior code," but realizing that the only way this madness stops is if someone puts an end to it.

COMMANDMENT 8: Law of the Challenge "All warriors who bare a blessed name from StarClan are entitled to defend their honor. The right to challenge, or to accept a challenge in turn, shall not be infringed upon without reason."

Attempting to stop a war from breaking out between ThunderClan and WindClan, the ancient leader Morningstar prevented his warriors from fighting back against Rabbitstar's border transgressions. Furious and offended that they could not prove themselves in battle, his cats came to resent him. After skirmish and sickness lead to the "honorless" death of several cats including his deputy, the Cleric, Pearnose, lead a revolt against him.

Morningstar was branded a coward by StarClan, deemed unworthy of joining their ranks and sent to the Place of No Stars to wallow in his misery. Afterwards, Pearstar gained her nine lives, beloved by ThunderClan and blessed by StarClan, and her decree was made into code.

This law is being invoked when a warrior mentions their "right to challenge." As a quirk of the wording, it's also widely accepted that an official challenge involves saying your opponent's full name, to get the attention of StarClan.

"without reason" is another one of those little clauses that gives a leader wiggle room when they need it. Legitimate "reason" to cancel a challenge includes the full moon truce, promise to allow the battle at a more appropriate date, or the fight being shineless or dishonorable to begin with. Still, leaders are rarely eager to get compared to Morningstar, so there's a lot of social pressure to not infringe the right.

The Clans culturally value the idea that "might makes right," and this commandment is both a result of, and a contributor to it. A LOT of small-scale quibbles over aspects of the Warrior Code end up being resolved by an invocation of the Right to Challenge, because trying to argue with a warrior that they're wrong about how they interpreted the code is easily interpreted as an attack on their honor.

COMMANDMENT 9: Law of the Wild "A warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet."

During the destruction of SkyClan's historic territory in the White Hart Woods, Flystar witnessed many of his warriors turning to humans and the town to live double lives. In response, he started very strictly enforcing the warrior code, believing that if his Clan lived more piously, this would stop the destruction.

it did not work. Old Man Flystar died and left Cloudstar as a young leader, desperately keeping SkyClan together in its exile. Even death did not stop him from honoring his vow.

...But the Forest Four did not care. The amendment that Flystar suggested for the warrior code was born from his need to discourage his warriors from leaving, but it was approved because of shared cultural hatred for human beings. The destruction of SkyClan's territory just made an existing problem much, much worse.

During the Crusade Era, this law was invoked to justify violent invasions into Chelford. During other eras, it makes cats hesitate to take food from humans, or even interact with kittypets at all.

It's also a very weird translation; in Clanmew, this is the "Law of the Unbunched Scruff." It could also be translated as "Law of the Uncollared Neck" or "Law of a Free Nape." It's referring to the back of the neck being unburdened by a collar, but it's also REALLY common for little kits to learn about this law and immediately start using it to protest their Mi carrying them back to the nest for bedtime.

This was also the last law to be introduced before SkyClan's exile! Modern SkyClan has complicated feelings on if this one should be respected as part of their "version" of the code.

ALSO;

I've so far kept it as short and simple as canon, but I'm thinking of making it longer to match the others. I can't find the right words for it, though-- something about "A warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet, and resists the deceitful temptation of humans" or "and remains vigilant for the tricks of man"

I want to capture the vibe of Flystar trying to convince his warriors that humans are liars, and any gifts they give you will actually make you weak. Part of me is trying to avoid wording the commandment in a way that could result in people thinking Firepaw himself is a "trick of man," but maybe I should just lean into it instead.

COMMANDMENT 10: Law of the Cleric's Vow "A cleric who takes a mate or has kittens has violated their sacred vow, and must have their privilege of being StarClan's herald revoked."

Moth Flight did not create the vow to be ratified as code. It was a desperate, painful oath she made her four kittens make before they were taken away from her to become the first Clerics of the other Clans.

She made them promise her that they would not have children of their own who would be ripped away from them. It was a mother's plea, to spare them from the pain she was experiencing, to encourage them to value medicine over connections to a Clan that stole them, and to punish the Clans for treating their bloodline like something that would produce prophets like livestock.

Their gifts would die with them, and all future Clerics would be trained, not born. The Cleric's Vow was a non-binding tradition for generations, until the exile of SkyClan.

Larkstripe, Cleric of WindClan, rallied the other Clerics into going on strike until the leaders reversed their terrible decision. Swiftstar stubbornly refused to give into this demand, even when sickness landed him on his deathbed. She remained firm, informing him that he was free to gamble with his life if he wanted to face StarClan's judgement.

His successor, Dalestar, sought a way to brutally crush the strike. So he hit Larkstripe at her one weakness-- her son, Ripplekit.

With the ringleader's reputation destroyed and her son ripped away from her and sent to ShadowClan, the other Clerics quickly folded. Dalestar got his way, and was celebrated for it.

This commandment doesn't have too many unique interpretations, though there are occasionally interesting cases where Clerics have kittens before taking their vow. While it's a "gray zone," kittens who are the child of a parent-turned-Cleric are sometimes considered cursed or unlucky.

(contrast to SkyClan where it is actually considered a plus for a Cleric to have kittens.)

COMMANDMENT 11: Law of the Full Moon "Under the light of the full moon, all Clans shall send representatives to the Gathering to hear the news of the leaders. There will be a truce that lasts from sundown to sunrise, and attendance is a privilege."

Taken from Larkstripe and raised at the belly of Birdflight, mate of the exiled Cloudstar, Ripplekit grew into Ripplemoon and became Ripplestar of ShadowClan. Spurred into action by a blight that was spreading up the now-dead fifth tree of Fourtrees, he declared war on the other Clans. "If you will not make room to fetch SkyClan home, then I will carve it out."

Before this time, the Gathering was simply a tradition, not code, but Ripplestar's deadly total war tactics recognized it as an excellent target. Attempting to bring a swift end to his bloody campaign, he planned an attack that would surely have many innocent casualties.

However, he was betrayed by his adopted brother; Gorseclaw. The other Clans were prepared for his attack, bringing nothing but warriors to the Gathering. In fury at Ripplestar's audacity, having lost the SkyClan ancestors who would have supported these actions, StarClan struck the base of the blighted tree with lightning. The falling trunk crushed Ripplestar against the Highrock and snapped the oak in two distinct places; at the base, and in the middle.

The Z-shaped cracks would be seen again many years later, as Brokenstar's tail. The guardian spirit of SkyClan, incarnated in the flesh through a birth from a Cleric, furious and manifest.

But, before that time, there was an immediate "Clan Pride Tide" that washed over the culture of those who won. The Law of the Full Moon was the first of three additional Commandments born from Dalestar and his peers during this time.

There are three significant "rules" to Gatherings that were established by this law;

The leader may arbitrarily exclude any cat they don't want to bring. Before this commandment, you could just go. Now, the most freedom you have is your ability to linger longer for the Aftergathering.

It is mandatory to completely listen to the "opening speeches" of Gatherings before you're allowed to mingle. Even if grandma mistystar is going off on a tangent again

The truce is now enforceable. It was previously just a taboo-- scuffles would break out now and then, and there was the occasional playfighting match. Now, you can't even get heated at another cat without people getting uncomfortable.

COMMANDMENT 12: Law of the First Tasks "Before an apprentice can receive their holy name by the power vested in their Star, first they must complete three sacred tasks; a warrior's assessment, a complete vigil, and a pilgrimage."

The second law to come from the post-Ripplestar tide was more codification of traditions, to "instill a sense of pride and honor into young warriors," but these were also a sneaky way to weed out dissidents.

Apprentices would typically do these tasks naturally as part of their rite of passage, but now, if ANY of the cats involved in this process did not like you or your mentor, they could hurt you by delaying them. A leader could choose not to bring you with them to the Moonstone. They could force you to re-do the vigil for making a noise. A vindictive mentor could keep flunking your assessment for stupid reasons because she hates you.

Bad mentors "poorly preparing" an apprentice they have a duty to guide into adulthood is good grounds for punishment. It's a massive dishonor to have an apprentice taken from you. Of course, this all depends on the Clan "taking the side" of the tormentor.

So, this is rarely used for political reasons in more recent eras, because of that potential collateral reputation hit. Making an apprentice's right of passage difficult for no reason tends to make you unpopular with that apprentice's friends, family, mentor, and peers-- but it served its purpose, back then.

Nowadays it's just celebrated as a part of Clan traditions. The First Tasks are much older than the Commandment, but most cats don't think so hard about history that they notice it's strange they got codified during this era.

(Plus, this commandment is popular. Apprentices and their families feel cheated if these first tasks are glossed over.)

COMMANDMENT 13: Law of the Leader's Right "By the power of the Star they carry, the word of a leader shall be recognized as the warrior code."

The big, bad one. Also called Dalestar's Commandment.

With this decree, the Clan leaders announced an exile of all the cats who had been revealed to support Ripplestar. ShadowClan's next leader, Marshstar, was made to deal with an immediate refugee crisis on top of overseeing the injuries of all the cats who fought at that Gathering.

It's the sort of law that would be considered a massive mistake within a few generations, but by that time, it was too entrenched to remove. The leaders had seized power over anything that could legally challenge them-- the Code, their Clerics, and their warriors in turn.

Only the rule of the Impostor would cause this part of the code to be altered, but not before the Clans nearly collapsed under his tyranny.

Future generations would look back at the fallout of Ripplestar's rebellion, and the following tide of Clan pride, and generally reach a consensus; this was the birth of the ideas which would become known as Thistle Law. Maybe it wasn't their origin, and contributing thoughts had existed for a long time beforehand, but this was the watershed moment for what would develop into modern Clan politics.

COMMANDMENT 14: Law of the Three Kittens "No action, inaction, or accusation may ever allow a kit to be put in danger, no matter what Clan their parents were from. All queens shall have the right to not reveal the origin of their litter, even under suspicion of codebreaking."

Famously referred to as Darkstar's Commandment, and cited as the Queen's Rights. Put a decisive end to the barbaric practice of Kitten Stealing. Drafted, fought for, and codified in honor of Mapleshade's three children who drowned in the swollen river.

StarClan was so furious at the sheer amount of senseless death in one season that they blasted Darkstar with lightning to drag her into StarClan to witness the Trials of those who had died. They made her watch as Ravenwing, Frecklewish, Appledusk, AND Mapleshade were all damned to the Dark Forest, and bellowed that her and Oakstar would fix it or suffer the same fate.

She listened and proposed this law. Oakstar did not, and fought against its implementation. He tried to make up for this by beginning the Crusades, but this wasn't enough to "atone" for his disobedience.

Darkstar ruled that the birth of innocent kits shall could never be used as evidence of guilt, because of the fact it would inevitably put those same kittens in danger.

It was StarClan's privilege alone to judge if the behavior that lead to the conception of those kittens was codebreaking or not. Flawed mortals, such as Mapleshade who lied to keep her kittens safe and only endangered them through panic, and Oakstar who exiled children into the rain because of personal offense leading to bias, could not be trusted to be objective about this.

That said-- the Queen's Rights are a very complicated and particular topic. They exist to protect the kitten's birth from being used as evidence; they do NOT protect the family from any consequence of their actions. There are lots of ways for the Queen's Rights to be voided.

If the kids find out their parentage and reveal it, it's void. If a cat who recently gave birth shows the kits are theirs, it's void. If you let it slip that you acquired the kitten from your sister who wants you to raise it as a Clan cat, it's void.

And, no, you can't even safely talk to your Cleric. They are within their full rights to reveal it, too. There is no Cat HIPAA. Whoever you trust with this information had BETTER BE someone you trust with your life, because they might be!

Cats who lean towards Fire Alone think that the Queen's Rights don't go far enough. Cats who lean towards Thistle Law are obsessed with the contradictions.

COMMANDMENT 15: Law of the Lake "Every Clan has the right to defend its independence and to fight for its honor, but the Clans of the lake shall never allow another to suffer or collapse. In dire times, all the cats of the lake understand their ancestral command; unite or die."

First proposed in response to the disastrous lack of response that allowed the rise of the Kin, a deadly Yellowcough outbreak, and the eventual collapse of ShadowClan, this commandment was approved without contest when SkyClan found its way to the Lake.

It's both a promise to SkyClan that what happened to them will never happen again, AND a somber acknowledgement that what happened to ShadowClan was avoidable if they'd only intervened sooner. Heartstar takes this commandment VERY seriously.

Too seriously, many add. Perhaps more out of ambition than compassion. But she doesn't care-- they weren't the ones suffocating in their own lungs watching their family die, as Onestar sat on a hill of medicine across the lake, glowering. Perhaps they should take it more seriously.

COMMANDMENT 16: Law of the Lovers / Bristlefrost's Law "If a cat wishes to walk alongside the warrior of another Clan, their beloved may ask their Star to issue a challenge to prove their new loyalty. If this challenge is overcome, their love shall be known as StarClan's will."

AKA Bristlefrost's Law, created in her honor after sacrificing her Afterlife to barrel Ashfur out of the sky, burning up in orbit.

In life, Bristlefrost was innocently meeting with Rootspring. Two warriors with a small crush, breaking the code discreetly during a time of increasing tension. When Bramblestar's impostor caught them, he decided to make an example of the couple. Brought Bristlefrost to the Gathering, and demanded that SkyClan strongly punish Rootspring to comply with the code.

Waspstar of SkyClan, successor of Leafstar after her poisoning at Juniperclaw's tricks, refused. So the impostor lifted his claw, and sliced Bristlefrost's neck. Her body plunged from the tree, dead in an instant.

With her ghost, Rootspring joined the resistance to depose him immediately. After her sacrifice, he demanded reforms for the code and a new commandment in her honor. It was not as sweeping of a change as he wanted it to be, but with the Law of the Lovers, there was finally a mechanism to bring another cat into your own Clan.

It could have saved her, he argues. He could have taken her out of that dangerous Clan, gotten her away from the Impostor, convinced her to run.

(...the truth is, Bristlefrost would never have run from ThunderClan. Not until the bitter end. She wouldn't just die twice for her family, but even more than nine if she had the chance. but this was the leverage that Rootspring was able to use.)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I keep going back and forth on the "love" wording of this one. On one hand, I like the idea a lot that Clan cats will have to perform friendship or love even if it isn't there to "legally" change Clans as a story device. I enjoy the idea of exploring that, and how it would be particularly messed up in an asylum scenario.

On the other hand... I'm not really using "love" in the romantic sense here, and "sponsor" is both closer to what I'm intending, AND the Clanmew version. By "beloved" I mean it equally in the sense of both an aunt and their "beloved" niece, and a lover and their traditional "beloved." But I'm not sure if that's coming across.

Is there a better word for "Sponsor" but like, in a warm and affectionate sense? Legal Buddy? Guy Who Will Vouch For Me? Sweet Cheese? Not to mention there just not being platonic words equal to "lover." The amatonormativity of the English language has harmed me once again

Law of Kickem Buttocks / Leader-B-Gone "girl help im still figuring out how I'm going to rewrite the new law about kicking out leaders. It is too long and too hyperspecific. There's absolutely no way for it to get legitimately used in canon, let alone be a relevant plot point."

I know FOR SURE that the first time this law is going to be used in BB, it is against Bramblestar in ASC. He's declining, manipulating Nightheart to use in a petty squabble against Squirrelflight, and suffered two massive blows to his reputation in both Squirrelflight's Horror and BB!TBC.

But the canon law is so specific that it's useless. Like, it may as well not even exist.

A non-deputy needs to call the vote

BOTH medcats have to agree

AANNDD you need a 75% supermajority in the Clan.

FINALLY, the other leaders, of Clans that are completely irrelevant, are asked if it's ok and ALL of them have to agree.

only THEN can all of the medcats of ALL the Clans go to StarClan, and ask if the lives can be taken away.

If the sky is cloudy then screw you. you have to wait even longer. Even if your Clanmates are getting murdered or tortured or whatever.

This frustrates me because, this is a MASSIVE change to the Warrior Code, something the audience has been desperate for. Drama in this series has practically dried up, and barely anything happens for books and books.

To make such a long-awaited addition be something this useless feels like an insult. Like they just begrudgingly did the bare minimum so they could ignore it. Even the "drama" of Reedclaw trying to oust Leafstar in CC was pointless, because if the writers were just less boring with their characters, she could have called for that vote all on her own.

"Ah but the code--" characters are capable of arguing that laws are ineffective and drastic measures need to be taken. Other characters can agree with them. it's that simple. Law is a social construct, not a wizard's magic barrier

Like. It could be that easy. Reedclaw doesn't want to physically harm Leafstar so she calls for a vote of no confidence. Cats quibble about if it's "legal" or not, Hawkwing proposes that it be 75% supermajority because then it would be extremely clear this is the will of SkyClan, etc. This would also be more interesting because then it's not established, it's new ground.

BUT. For BB I do want it to be law. Just a law that actually gets used.

So right now I'm leaning towards something like;

"If a leader is no longer able to rule with honor by their Clan's three-quarter decree, the Star shall undergo a ritual to return their blessings. This ritual must be both invoked by a cleric and a warrior, and then carried out by them if successful."

I still feel like three-quarters is a tall order, but I think I can work with it. At the very least, I can remove the requirement for ALL the Clerics to be in agreement.

I'm particularly fond of the idea of the idea that the two accusers have to carry out the WHOLE thing. The Cleric performs the parts of the ritual that would "wash" the lives away from the Leader, and the Warrior performs the parts of the ritual that would allow the Deputy to take them early. Overall, I think it would be generally better if the "difficulty" of enacting this commandment came from the fact the Cleric and the Warrior have to be EXTREMELY dedicated to it.

Like, instead of dealing with a lot of waiting and asking, if you want them gone, you have to do something very tedious with no reward.

As for what that ritual looks like, I want to reference BB!Rowanstar's sacrifice. The leader will probably have to bathe or be rinsed by the water of the Moonpool, and the deputy gets dunked in that.

bramblegirl bathwater

#better bones au #BB!Warrior Code #Clan Culture #Thistle Law #Im straight up gonna tag a bunch of the laws so search has a chance of catching it #Queen's Rights #Right to Challenge #Leader's Rights #BB!Darkstar #BB!Dalestar #BB!Ripplestar #Law of Loyalty #Law of Honor #Law of the Three Kits #Law of the Border #Law of the Lake #BB!Bristlefrost's Law #BB!History Lesson #I may also split the finalized code's posts into eras #So I can really dive into them. Like bundle up all the Clan Pride Tide commandments into 1 post for example #And put the Law of the Wild all on its own along with how it's the last one SkyClan shared with the Forest Four #Before their exile i mean. They also have the Law of the Lake.#ALSO if you are one of the 3 ppl ive been chatting with in dms im not ignoring you im just trying to get this out LMAOOO #There are cow talks in those messages lads. And artist messages also #Bonefall's BB!AU

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theinkquiry · 3 months ago

Text

i've been looking at you so long now i only see me caleb x reader (mc)

word count: 4.5k tags: Alternative Ending to Homecoming Wings, Because we couldn't just let it end like that! “You can’t protect me forever.” You reached up with your free hand to cup his face. This was the closest you’ve really gotten to seeing him since he’s come back to you. He leans into your touch. “I can and I will.” He speaks with such conviction. The tone is familiar even if the empty stare accompanying his words is not. “But you didn’t." Things come to a head on your last day in Skyhaven. This wasn't the Caleb you knew. You weren't the same girl he left behind. You still love him anyway. (homecoming wings and it's completely different but also still homecoming wings.)

ao3 link (also in the fic title): https://archiveofourown.org/works/63833728

Three days. He said it like it was no time at all, but it was long enough to make you begin questioning your sanity. To say you were traumatized all over again by the sudden appearance of Caleb with the Farspace Fleet was an understatement. You pushed the initial concerns aside. He was here, alive. That was all that mattered, or so you thought.

The routine was too typical. Too easy. You never dared let yourself imagine what it would be like to have him breathing in front of you again. But of all the possibilities you could have conjured, to simply keep carrying on was not one of them. Carrying on was what you did when he left. It wasn’t how he was supposed to come back to you.

You didn’t even know if he was supposed to come back to you.

He had you down against the couch after three days of unending rain. Your petulant nature once again gets you into hot waters with him. You were pushing the same buttons, but the commands were not the same. His words simmer with a cold flame.

“No one will ever be able to find you ever again. I’ll protect you forever.”

There it was again. His unending need to shield you from all the world’s harms. It was touching when you were children. Romantic, even. Growing up, you slowly lost the concept of what it felt like to be truly afraid. There were the thunderstorms and the usual mean kids on the block. You were comforted by the notion that Caleb would always be there. That you would never be alone, just like he promised.

But now your heart thundered in your chest as your eyes stared into his. The purple-grey storm brewing behind his gaze pinned you down like nothing you’ve ever felt before. There was a gnawing sensation that you didn’t want to admit, a fear whose source you dare not name.

What if I told you I was always like this?

Since he said them moments ago, you’ve been trying to make sense of the words. As much pride as Caleb took in being able to see through you, it came at the expense of you being able to peer right back at him. Those words weren’t total lies, but they weren’t the full picture either. A half-truth. The Caleb you knew could be mischievous and cheeky towards you, sure. But he never did anything as underhanded as keep you locked up for days on end. A half-explanation. Even after so many questions and days to get his side of the story, he was still keeping things from you. A half-Caleb. Something was still wrong. He never used to make you feel so… alone .

He still had you pinned underneath him. His grip was strong, but you don’t think either of you were putting your full strength into fighting with each other. Even after looking at him so many times, here, alive , you still had to bite back tears each time.

This was the closest you’ve really gotten to seeing him since he’s come back to you.

He leans into your touch. “I can and I will.” He speaks with such conviction. The tone is familiar even if the empty stare accompanying his words is not.

“But…” The air was so still. You hated it. In fact, you’ve hated every minute of the last three days. It wasn’t just that Caleb was lying to you. It wasn’t that he’d leave you with nothing to do but sit and try not to cry and end up crying whenever he left anyway. It was that you wanted to talk to him again. You wanted the easiness of your Caleb back. The Caleb you whispered secrets to under cover of dark. Not this half-stranger, half…

Friend? Family? He was always just Caleb. You never had any other word to describe who he was to you. You never needed one. But whatever he was to you, it was not this. Something had to give. You were either going to get half of the past back, or you were going to confront something new. None of which would be accomplished if you kept biting back your words or if he kept avoiding you like this.

For all of his swift acting and nonchalant attitude, you knew something was off with Caleb no matter how much he denied it. Or maybe he wasn’t “off” at all, and the person you dedicated your entire life to really was a mirage. You were never the quickest to pick up on things. You may not be the smartest. But what you did know was that, even if Caleb was entirely right and he hadn’t changed at all in the months since the explosion, you did.

Your voice was soft. “But you didn’t protect me, Caleb.”

You curled your hand that was still pinned down into a fist. Not to resist him, but to let him feel the tension in your muscle. He opened his mouth, ready to shut you down again. You didn’t let him.

“You didn’t come visit me at the hospital after the fires.”

You remembered the sterile white walls and the too-thin sheets.

“You weren’t there when I dug through the ashes, trying to find something, anything left of you and Gran.”

The suffocating smoke lingered in your lungs, no matter how much the doctors told you that you were clear.

“You aren’t there when I’m out on missions fighting Wanderers.”

Work. Heavens, did work bring a whole new layer of pain. It was one thing to be the only survivor. It was another to survive day in and day out as skittish coworkers fumbled through apologies and tip-toed around you like fragile glass. Even if that was exactly what you were.

“You weren’t there when I couldn’t eat for days because all I wanted was your food. You weren’t there for the nightmares that I still have because every time I close my eyes I just see that day over and over again.”

You don’t realize how much you’re shaking until Caleb’s grip finally loosens. His facade begins to crumble as you see your own heartbreak reflected back in his eyes. He was lost for a moment. The strength seemed to slip away from him as his hands hovered uneasily. Unsure of whether he ought to let go or hang on. You didn’t give him a chance to decide as you entwined your hand with his. You weren’t going to let him slip away again. You needed him to ground you.

“You weren’t there when I had to bury the absence of you in an empty grave. So no, Caleb. You didn’t protect me.”

Surprise flashed across his face for the first time in a long while. A sickly satisfaction took root in your gut. Caleb, who always thought he knew best about everything when it came to you, at last confronted with his own contradictions. The bitter victory went as soon as it came.

“It was all for your own good.” His justification was so predictable you almost laughed. “It was the only way to make sure you were safe.”

You shook your head. Caleb may think that he was doing it all to keep you safe. He may even be right that you were safer thinking that he was dead. At the same time, you never felt such raw vulnerability as you did while believing Caleb was gone from this world. Your entire perspective shifted. Who you were as a person changed. It had to. You had your own apartment in Linkon, but it wasn’t home. You had to make peace with the fact that you were the only one who could make a home for yourself. Everyone you held in relation to you was gone. You learned to define yourself apart from those who left you.

Perhaps the reason why it was so hard to talk to Caleb now was that you were also changed. Caleb’s death rocked your very foundations, and you came out the other side by reconstructing your personhood by yourself, brick by brick. Did he notice it? All the changes you underwent because of him. For the last week or so he’d give you these stares which you found puzzling. It reminded you of whenever he misplaced his phone or forgot his thought mid-sentence. You were right there, so what was he looking for?

From your closer vantage now, you realized that searching wasn’t the only thing about his eyes. It was almost like pleading, begging even. You may have reunited physically, but you’d hardly found each other again at all.

“I was the one who learned to bear the thunderstorms at night, alone. I was the one who showed up to family-at-work day events, alone. I was the one who learned to live in a world without you. All alone. So don’t accuse me of trying to go back there.”

Each word of yours left a cut in him. At last he was open, without retort. He tried to avoid your gaze. Your thumb and index fingers guided him back towards you again. “You left me to grieve you, all alone.”

He didn’t get to look away. If he wanted you to see him, you needed him to see you as well. An unconscious resistance gripped his body, yet he couldn’t break away. You knew the feeling well. It was exactly the sensation of being in that interrogation chair the first time you came face to face with the Colonel.

“Don’t leave me again, Caleb.” You don’t notice that you’re crying again until his thumb wipes away your tears. Your voice trembles as you say it again. “Please, don’t leave me.”

For the first time, he seems to understand what your words meant without misconstruction. He continues to brush your tears aside even as he’s holding back his own. “I’m here. I’m here now.” He said it as if he was also trying to convince himself.

You let go of him and, for the briefest moment neither of you are touching the other. You wonder what he sees of himself in your eyes. Two mirrors, forever destined to reflect back at each other until you couldn’t tell where one began and the other ended. As you looked and looked and looked, you found what you were searching for. What you found was, frankly, a mess. Then again, so were you. And the discovery sent your heart aflutter as something in this hellscape of a world finally made sense to you again.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and tugged him down beside you, throwing yourself into his chest. “You’re here.” A statement so obvious that it makes you laugh. But the laughter quickly devolves back into crying. You cling to him like a lifeline because you really don’t want him to go. Because for the first time since you set eyes on him again did you fully process that Caleb wasn’t just ‘not dead’, no. Regardless of the technicalities between life and death, for all intents and purposes he very much did die.

Now you could hear his voice. Touch the tears on his cheeks. Hear his heartbeat pounding. “You’re really here.”

Caleb brushed his hands through your hair. You wondered if it was more of a gesture to calm you, or if it was to soothe himself. “I’ve always held myself back and endured. Day, after day, after day. It was suffocating.” His breath shuddered with each sentence. While you were mourning, Caleb was facing his own struggles. You didn’t know the details. He wouldn’t tell you if you asked. At least not right now.

He’s in a better place now , is what people would say to you in the early days of dealing with his absence. You wonder if Caleb told himself that about you, wherever he was. That even though you both possessed two different sides to the same tragic story, you both pushed forward in the hopes of reaching some semblance of a happier ending. Perhaps the reason why he put up such an aggressive front whenever you said you didn’t need him was to hide from the fact that he also needed you.

Caleb curled himself around you, leaning closer to your ear. “All I ever wanted was to come back to you.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t.” He choked on the words like they were poison down his throat. You try to filter his words into something intelligible. I did it to protect you.

“Oh, Caleb-” You hold onto him tighter- “but who was protecting you?”

He buried his face into your hair and let out a painful sob. His whole body shook as the rain hit the glass windows. His presence screamed, I’m tired . You held a steady hand to his back as his shoulders heaved up and down. His breath came out ragged and uneven. I’m so tired . Just as he did to you many times before, you held him through the panic and shushed away his fears.

You would protect him, even if you didn’t know what doing so looked like yet. You could have run away, called for help, brought down the entire building if your hatred and anger were genuine. In truth, you were scared for him. You wanted to monitor him. Figure out why there was a sudden darkness emanating from his being when he thought you were turned the other way. If staying away from you was genuine protection, then returning to your arms was no coincidence. Somewhere in his subconscious, he was reaching out to you.

You were not going to let him go. Not again.

The two of you lay curled into each other as a single mass. The sensation was oddly familiar. You couldn’t quite place it. A far away, cold place. Someone’s warm hand in yours. A vow to never be apart. A boy whose reassurance put you at ease even if the smile never quite reached his eyes. Was there once a time just like this one when everything lay so far out of control? When there was nothing to do except hold the other as tight as you could, crying and wishing for brighter days ahead. Or simply an end to the darkness.

A cacophony of tearful whispers and sniffles mixed with the sound of never-ending droplets pitter-pattering around your cellophane birdcage. You thought by now you would have run out of tears for Caleb. Yet it didn’t feel so much like you were crying for him so much as you were crying on his behalf. And he, yours. All the pain and regret built up to be released like a message in a bottle to the sea. The glass object containing all the apologies too late to say, all the memories you didn’t get to make, bundled up and set adrift to whatever mysterious fate the waters held in store for it. Drifting and drifting, casual and random, into the fog of your mind until it was gone entirely.

All that’s left is you, and Caleb, and the words you get to say to him now.

“Caleb.” His name is, at last, comfortable in your mouth again. He senses it too, eyes flitting to yours with none of the harshness that you’ve detested growing accustomed to.

He speaks your name with the same care. As if you were giving it back to each other.

“If I stay, would you really accept me? As I am now?”

“I already accepted every version of you. The boy from my childhood. My pretend-boyfriend who was off to college. The Farspace Fleet Colonel.” You pressed your forehead against his. “I even accepted you dead. Because you wanted me to, right?” He took a shuddered breath as you brushed stray strands of hair away from his eyes. His hand encircled your wrist again. Absent was the forcefulness from before. His grasp this time was desperate. A silent apology for all the pain he’s caused you.

You rest your palm atop his hand, an assurance that you weren’t going anywhere. “I never wanted you to be anything other than my Caleb.”

His eyes widened, gleaming at the sound of the last two words leaving your lips. You honestly surprised yourself with your candor. It couldn’t be helped, really. Not when he was finally his unfiltered self. Take away all the heaviness surrounding the two of you bearing in from the outside world, and you’re left with a Caleb that you only thought you could see in your dreams. Laying by your side, holding your hand, like he only wanted to pull you in closer.

“I like you like this…” You find yourself inching closer naturally. Were you in a more teasing mood, you might have accused him of using his Evol to draw you in. “I like being with you like this.”

“Like how?” He asks. You were both too tired for any more games. Chase the other too long, and you’d only end up going in circles.

You run a finger down his face. How many scars were there that you couldn’t see? “Next to me. Beside me. Not pushing me back, where I can’t see you. Or leaving me behind, where I can’t reach you.” Your finger trails along down his neck, past his shoulders, towards his back. “I like… you.”

You blink. The realization landed like a feather on a still pond, but hit you like a meteor. “I like you.” You say it in a full breath. You say it to see the way Caleb’s eyes swirl with stars. You say it because it’s the thing you’ve been trying to say this whole time.

“Just figured that out?” He means to tease, but his voice gives away the vulnerability lurking just behind. The arm around your waist freezes. His weariness leaves him with no defenses. You see in full for the first time how his eyes search yours for something. An answer? Permission?

You lean in and close the distance. It’s soft at first, the kiss. Hesitant. A ghost of your lips on his. A test of the waters. You lean back for his response, unprepared for the raw emotion you’re met with.

His hold on you is a plea of the most desperate. Tears prick at his eyeline again. He opens his mouth only to close it again. A million unspoken questions, unsure which is the right to ask. “Please,” is all he can manage. “ Please. ”

When it’s clear that you are going to kiss him again, his body takes over. He pulls you into him, fervently and entirely. You can’t form proper thoughts, as if his own weaved into your mind with each press of his lips against yours. He moves a bit clumsily, but with the surety of a man too long deprived. Little gasps leave his mouth each time he pulls away. “I can’t believe-”

Caleb kisses you before he can finish his own sentence. Delirious to the point where he didn’t even realize he was speaking aloud.

“You’re so-”

He gets drunk on it. The way you fit so easily with him. The small breaths you take in between his. Your hooded eyes as you meet him halfway each time.

He calls your name like it’s sacred. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

You grab at his shirt in an effort to steady yourself. You continue to kiss as you let yourself be guided underneath him. His hands know exactly where to hold to make you feel at home. You reach up to hold his face again, gently this time cradled between your hands. “You always have me.”

Caleb keeps pushing down until you’re flush against the couch. He kisses you softer, yet with the same rush as if you were made of sand that could slip through his fingers at any moment. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.” You’ll repeat it as many times as he needs. “And you?”

He doesn’t hesitate. “Yours.”

You put your hands on his broad shoulders before he can kiss you again. The disappointment is immediate, but he waits. He always waits. There’s a softness to his features as he tilts his head a little. “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head. “Nothing, I just-” It felt silly to admit. “I just like looking at you.”

The smile he gave you tugged at your heart. You felt tears welling again, this time from relief. If he was able to read you before, you were able to read him right back. With all his defenses lowered, it was like opening the pages of your favorite book.

I’m here . Your whole being was reaching for him.

I’m yours . Caleb handles you with care. Not because you’re breakable, but because you’re treasured. He brushes aside your hands, guiding them back down to rest on the plush surface of his couch.

I’ve always been yours. He presses his lips to your forehead first, then your nose. You can’t help a small laugh. His eyes crinkle in response and you know that, this time, he is asking for permission. You grant it.

Without a word, he carries you up in his arms. Where you find yourself next is the home you had missed. It’s not entirely familiar. It isn’t the summer sun as he walks back with you on the last day of school or the first hug you gave him after he graduated from the DAA. Clumsy limbs and racing hearts. Your small gasps and the reverence with which he calls your name.

But you know it all the same, the way he makes the entire world fade into the backdrop, taking you someplace outside of time and space. You were two halves of the same whole, split apart. Coming back together.

Between it all there is a gnawing sensation that the peace was fragile. Two split parts were bound to grow, to cover up the scars left behind by their torn half. The pieces would never fit quite right again, not without cutting back into the other.

His hand grips your waist and you take deep breaths against his neck.

The questions, the technicalities, they were all for tomorrow.

For now, you let yourself be content just as you are. You and Caleb. One and two. Caleb and you. Somewhere along the way you stopped having lines of your own and let yourself bleed into him, and he into you. His hot breath fans the side of your face. You make a thousand silent promises to one another, though you both know keeping all of them is impossible. If even a handful survive, you’d take it.

If the sky clears sometime in the night, you don’t notice.

At dawn on the fourth day, you see him off at the airfield. It’s the same as all the other times you’ve seen him off. Almost. You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to him in his Colonel’s uniform. It doesn’t look bad, few things did on Caleb, but it was another reminder that things were different now.

He was different now. Only time would prove whether that was a good or bad thing.

“Make sure to look after yourself. Eat three full meals a day and go to bed before dawn. You got that, pipsqueak?” Caleb ruffles your hair.

You swat away his hand in annoyance. “Caleb! As if the Skyhaven winds weren’t already bad enough for my hair.”

Some things would never change.

An alarm blares. Several Fleet members rush toward their ships. Caleb shouts something over to his crew, but you don’t hear it. The sun was out in full force after the storm, though the chill of the morning air prevented its full heat from blanketing where you stood. You squinted against the rays, following a particular glint of silver around Caleb’s neck.

“Well, I guess it’s time to say goodbye.” Caleb takes a step towards you, but stops himself from going any further. There it was. That strange hesitance lingering over him like smoke.

You used to let him walk away on his own. This time, you cross over to him. “Not a goodbye.” You smooth down his shirt before reaching up to tease out his dog tags. You look up at him, defiant. “See you next time.”

Whatever he sees in your eyes puts him at ease. A gentle smile graces his features as he echoes your words. You hate the uncertainty in his eyes. You swear to yourself that you’d clear the cloudiness. That shade of violet which is pure, unburdened. You’ll take all that’s grey and wilting about him into yourself if that’s what it took to bring back some of his shine.

You do what you weren’t brave enough to do before. Looping a finger through his silver chain, you tug him down and press a firm kiss to his lips. It is determinedly quick, but the full effects were felt. Caleb cupped your face and stole a second, then a third.

The sound of spacecraft engines cuts through the air. He sighs. “You’re not making this any easier.”

“Have I ever?”

“No,” Caleb chuckles. He gives you a look. He could tell, you think, that you too have changed. “You never do.”

You don’t know if things will ever truly go back to being easy, if they ever were in the first place. Caleb adjusts the cap on his head and gives your hand a final squeeze. A crinkle draws your attention, and you feel old paper against your palm.

“What’s…” You smooth out the yellowed scrap and scoff once you see the old coupon. You look up to find that his remorse is genuine. You don’t ask what forgiveness he’s asking for. Nothing and everything, is what he’ll say. Instead, you slap the paper back on his chest. “Coupon denied.”

“Excuse me?” He let out a laugh that he didn’t even expect. “It’s not expired!”

“It’s invalid.” You retort, folding your arms and giving him your sternest glare. “There’s nothing to apply the coupon to.”

“But-”

“Save it.” His hand ghosts over where yours rests, right above his heart. You feel every beat drumming underneath your fingertips. “Save it, and come back to me.”

A kaleidoscope of emotions flits across his face. He’s holding back the truth. He wants to tell you off. He needs to kiss you again. All these confusing and wonderful things bundle up to make your Caleb. You meant what you told him yesterday. Whether he was finding a way to claw back to who he was, or whether he was entirely changed, you would be there waiting for him. Just as he’s waited for you all those years before.

“I will.”

#love and deepspace #caleb love and deepspace #caleb x reader #caleb x mc #caleb lads #lads x reader #lads fanfic #love and deepspace fanfic #i don't know how to post fics on here anymore so apologies if this looks cringe #please just read and comment on ao3 idk man #whatever happened to just posting a gif for the header i had to google and save a whole ass caleb picture for this #i cant believe gifs are cringe now T-T and that im aging #anyway #enjoy my first fic in like...four years

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