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fific7 · 3 years

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Dangerous and Divine - Part 18

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 Hopefully you’ve guessed by now that is my “Billy Russo Deserves Real Love AU” as I totally refuse to accept what happened in S2! The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: Some drinking & swearing.

(My GIF)

But you looked up into empty space. Your eyes travelled downwards until they found Billy - down on one knee in front of you. A small velvet ring box was held - unopened as yet - in a vice-like grip in those long, slender fingers you loved so much, and Billy’s big dark eyes were gazing fearfully into yours.

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Billy... what... Billy, uhh what’re you doing?” you whispered, knowing exactly what he was doing but trying to stall for time. You stood there like a statue, gazing into the bottomless pools that were his eyes.

He swallowed, clearing his throat, then you heard your name followed by a short pause, before he spoke.

“Proposin’. I’m proposin’ to you.”

You didn’t say anything else, just stared down at him. Mainly due to the fact that you didn’t know what to say to him. He kept staring at you, his eyes getting wider and sadder the longer you stayed silent.

He finally broke eye contact and got up, walking over to you, ring box still held in his hand. “Can I tell you why I’m doin’ this?”

Eventually you found your voice, “Yeah, Billy. I think you better.” “Let’s siddown,” he said quietly, hand going to your back and guiding you to the table.

He pulled out a chair, and you kind of collapsed into it - your legs had gone to jelly. He sat opposite you, tucking his long legs under the table, one of his knees hitting yours as he did so. The ring box was placed carefully in the centre of the table, where it hypnotically drew your eyes.

He gave a small laugh, “The plan was to wait till after dinner. Got way too nervous. Just couldn’t wait a minute longer.” Shaking his head, “I’ve gone into battle feelin’ less nervous.” You reached across the table, hand going on top of his. He put his other hand on top of yours, looking down, before speaking again, “I know you think this is just plain crazy, but I want you in my life. Forever. So I thought, I know how I feel so why wait? What’s the difference between now, six months, a year?”

You sighed, “Billy... you haven’t asked the actual question yet, but I’ll answer it anyway... this is not an outright ‘No’, okay?” His head shot up, dark eyes filled with hope.

You carried on, “But yeah, it’s definitely too soon, Billy.” His face fell again, and you stroked his hand slowly. “Look, we hardly know each other, and we’ve already admitted we’re both scared shitless by how fast this’s happened. I don’t want either of us to rush into something now we’ll maybe regret later. So I’m just saying, we hit the brakes a little bit for a while.”

“You sayin’ you wanna break up for a while? Don’t wanna see me?” he said, panicked. “No! No, Billy.... that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m just suggesting that we take things a little slower, and get to know each other better. Continue to spend time together, just like we’ve been doing. We can stay at each other’s places for two or three nights at at a time, instead of one night here and there.” He stared into your eyes, “Kinda like livin’ together?” “Yeah, I suppose it would be.”

Your other hand went to his bristly chin, “Okay, Marine?” Giving you a small sad smile, he said, “Okay, angel. I won’t lie - m’disappointed. Thought I’d be drinkin’ Krug and callin’ you my fiancée right about now.” He sighed, “But I hear you, and I guess it makes sense, what you said. As long as you promise me you’re not just sayin’ this now, so you can let me down easy later?” You shook your head, “No, I’m not doing that, Billy, I promise I’m not. I think I’d like to be married to you, if I’m honest,” smiling as he beamed at you, “...I just think we shouldn’t go rushing headlong into it. This is a big deal for us.”

“Well, it is for me, sweetheart,” he said, a slight note of bitterness in his voice. You moved the very small distance between the two of you, pushing on his shoulder until he slid his chair back so you could sit in his lap. Wrapping your arms round his neck you kissed him very gently, however he kissed you back a little more aggressively. You knew Billy’s feelings - not to mention his ego - were hurt by what he saw as your rejection, and you wanted to reassure him. Pulling back, you took his face in your hands and planted little kisses on his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his mouth, his chin.

“Billy, it’s a big deal for me, too. I love you, I meant what I said. Like we’ve both said before, it’s damn scary how quickly this has all happened. It’s never happened to me before, I swear. But I truly believe we’ll be fine, I know we will.” More kisses all over his face, and you finally heard a reluctant chuckle from him.

A small sigh, “Okay, angel. Well, let’s not let this fancy meal I’ve ordered in for us go to waste.” You placed a long kiss on his lips and whispered, “Hang on in there, Russo.” Those eyes. Gazing steadily at you. Hurt still apparent in them, but trying their best to look happy.

You felt like such a mean bitch.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After an absolutely gorgeous dinner (courtesy of private caterers), you and Billy had flopped into bed and just fallen asleep in each others’ arms. The two of you were mentally as well as physically exhausted after all the emotional high drama.

The next morning, you woke up alone, but could hear Billy making noise in the kitchen. You wandered through to find him busy making you his scrambled eggs. In just his CK’s. He really knew how to get your attention, you smiled to yourself, eyes roaming over his toned body.

As you approached him, you could tell that there was still a slightly defeated air about him and you felt so, so guilty. You slid your arms round his waist and kissed his shoulder softly, “Morning, lover boy.” He turned round and kissed you, hands cupping your cheeks. “Mornin’, angel,” smiling down at you. You didn’t think he looked just as sad as he had done last night, so you felt very slightly better.

“Oooh, your scrambled eggs,” you sang, and he grinned. “Only the best for my goddess.” You threaded your fingers through his hair where it had fallen forward over his forehead, and pushed it back up. “Billy?” He looked down at you, and you continued, shamefaced, “I feel so bad for shooting you down in flames last night.” A long finger tipped your chin up, and a small gentle kiss landed on your lips. “S’okay, angel, I understand why you told me no.”

You flounced away from him, before swinging back round, “I did not say no, Billy Russo! I said take a short rain check.” Then you noticed a cheeky grin on his face, and you lunged forward to pinch his bicep, hard. “Stop messing with me, Billy!” He started chuckling, and went back to stirring the scrambled eggs in their big pan. “Gotta get you back somehow for wounding me so deeply.” His head turned slightly towards you and he said over his shoulder, “You really did wound me, but I’ll heal.”

“Oh my god, are you going to guilt trip me all day?!”

“ You better believe it, sweetheart.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Sitting with Billy at his kitchen table as you ate your scrambled eggs, you suddenly spotted The Ring Box tucked in beside the salt and pepper pots. You weren’t quite sure why you did it, but you picked it up and asked Billy if you could look at it. A small smirk on his face, he shrugged, “If you wanna, angel.”

So you opened the box. And gaped at the ring sitting in the velvet-cushioned interior. It was truly gorgeous, and definitely one you would have chosen for yourself. [A/N: pic at end of post] it wasn’t your run-of-the-mill diamond on a band, and the box had ‘Harry Winston’ inscribed inside it. You looked up, “Did you pick this?” Billy nodded, “Yes,” he said proudly, “I did. Knew my goddess deserved somethin’ special.” “It’s beautiful, Billy. I absolutely love it.”

He looked down, loading some more scrambled eggs onto his fork. “Coulda been on your ring finger right now,” he mumbled, but then looked up again, grinning and shrugging, “....but you gotta do what you gotta do, and I’m cool with that.” There was still that little hint of sadness in his dark eyes.

Seeing that, you almost gave in and screamed “Yes! Yes! Yes!” but you buried that crazy outburst right down inside you as far as it would go. Instead you leapt up and threw your arms round his neck, covering his face with a frenzy of kisses. You heard a string of long, low chuckles from him and drew back, saying to him, “Billy, I love you. I really do, you big sappy sap.” He gave you a genuine smile, “Makes me happy hearin’ you say that, angel. But changin’ your mind’s not allowed, you hear?” You shook your head, “I won’t, Billy, I promise you.”

You heard Billy’s phone vibrating on the kitchen counter, and turned to go and grab it for him. Nothing at all to do with you wanting to see the caller ID to make sure it wasn’t Madani (if it had been, you’d’ve answered it and screeched a banshee wail down the phone, hopefully bursting her eardrum).

Oh, okay - ‘Frankie’ said the notification. You handed it to Billy, who swiped and answered it. He got up and wandered off over to where the table still held the aftermath of your last-night’s dinner. Again you felt a pang of guilt; Frank was obviously calling for an update on the proposal situation, as you had no doubt whatsoever that Frank would’ve been taken into Billy’s confidence about it. Billy had his back to you, head down and speaking quietly into the phone.

Oh my god, these guilty feelings! - you thought. You felt super bad as you knew you’d really hurt Billy, but you kept telling yourself you’d done it for all the right reasons. You had just started wondering about your self-imposed condition; just how long are we supposed to spend ‘getting to know each other?’ when Billy ended the call and walked back over to you.

“Hey, sweetheart - Frankie wants to go for a beer, you don’t mind do you?” You grinned at him, “Of course not! You go and have some boy time with Frankie. And you don’t need to ask me, Russo - I don’t have you on a leash, you know!” He burst out laughing, “Not yet, maybe!” and winked at you as he headed to the bathroom for a shower.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Once Billy had gone, you picked up your own phone and called Karen. She answered warily, so you knew Frank had obviously updated her on your non-engagement. To her greeting, you said airily, “It’s OK, Karen - I’m not in bits.”

She gave a relieved laugh, “Oh thank god, I only got the bare minimum out of Frank before he rushed off to meet Billy. Said he needed a shoulder to cry on.” You could feel your eyes filling up and gave a small hiccup, unable to speak for a second. Karen said suspiciously, “Are you sure you’re OK?”

You asked her to come over to Billy’s place so you two could have a damn good rip-it-all-up girl’s chat. Accompanied by multiple glasses of alcohol.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Karen and a large bottle of gin arrived about ten minutes later. She gave you a huge hug, before quickly opening the gin, finding two clean glasses, pouring two generous hits and adding some flavoured tonic. You called over from the sofa that there was ice in the fridge. A couple of moments later, you heard the ‘plunk plunk’ of ice hitting drink, and Karen swanned over with the two glasses before holding one out to you.

Taking it gratefully, you watched as she sat down on the sofa, leaning back against the armrest with knees pulled up like you. She put on her ‘investigative reporter’ face and said, “Hit me with it, baby.”

You gave her the whole story: you and Billy separately meeting up with The Scorned Woman, you telling Billy you loved him (her eyebrows took a trip skyward at that), your strolls round Central Park and how Billy had been antsy all day. Culminating in your return to the apartment, him dropping to one knee, nodding your head over towards the table in the window, finishing with dinner.

“So you actually said ‘No’ to him, did you?” she questioned you. You shook your head, “No, I didn’t. In fact, I specifically told him it wasn’t a ‘No’. Just a time out, if you like. Get to know each other better. But Karen, I’m feeling so fucking guilty now! He’s like a wounded puppy!”

She nodded, “Well, no matter how much you say you didn’t tell him ‘No’, that’s all he heard.” You took a big sip of your drink, before saying, “I’ve been trying to reassure him that I do love him, and I won’t change my mind.” “You do seem to have fallen for each other very hard and very fast,” she mused, sinking some of her own drink. You huffed, “That’s what The Scorned Woman said too. And yes, it’s very - extremely - quick, I know it. But it’s how we feel. But now... I’m worried that he might really take this to heart and start backing off.”

She shook her head, “You know something, I don’t think he’ll do that. Frank says that Billy’s the most tenacious bastard he’s ever met, well apart from himself of course! I think he’ll hang onto you for dear life.” “I really hope you’re right, Karen. I’d absolutely hate it if Madani was right all along.... that we wouldn’t last.”

“Oh, her!” scoffed Karen, “What does she know? She’s a fruitloop.”

You started laughing. She suddenly leaned forward, “Hey, you didn’t tell me.... what’s the ring like?” “Well, poor Billy didn’t get a chance to open the box last night, but I saw it this morning.” She suddenly looked like an excited kid, “Can I see it, can I see it, aww go on!” You burst out laughing, and got up to go and retrieve the ring box. Once back on the sofa, you held the box in front of her and opened it. Her eyes went wide.

“Oh my lord, it’s absolutely.....!” she stopped, gazing at it, “...gorgeous! Did you try it on?” “No,” you shook your head, “...didn’t feel right to.” Closing the box, you took it back to its place on the kitchen table.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You and Karen were on your third G&T’s when you heard keys in the door lock. You and Karen’s heads swivelled towards it, just in time to see Frank coming in. He was supporting a swaying and loose-limbed Billy Russo, who was looking at you with big wide eyes and a goofy smile on his face.

Frank grinned at you, “Uhhh... someone’s had a bit too much to drink,” he said gruffly. “I think he needs to lie down.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry

#ben barnes #billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine

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trashytummiez · 4 years

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Sticky Buns for a Surfer Bro

@squidbiscuit did it again. She made an amazing pic of Brawly stuffed and burpy that was so unbelievably cute, I needed to write a fic based off of it! <3

“Dude! Me’n Marlon, brah, we caught some righteous waves today! You should’a seen it!” Brawly said with excitement to the only other individual in his apartment.

Only it wasn’t an individual at all. It was his Makuhita, doing what few Pokemon were even capable of doing...baking!

Brawly sniffed the air and lit up excitedly. “Yooooo! Sticky buns? Makuey, dude, that’s rad bodacious of you, brah!” The blue haired young surfer exclaimed merrily. The short and stocky yellow Pokemon mewed out its name and hobbled over to its trainer carrying a large tray of steamy buns. Brawly leaned over and took a whiff then smacked his chops. “You’re too good to me, my dude!” He said happily, ruffling its head in appreciation. Makuhita smiled back at him when he took the tray and set it down on the dining table. Then it hobbled back to the kitchen. “Makin’ more?” Brawly asked in a genuinely surprised fashion.

Just then, Brawly’s stomach growled loudly. He blinked with surprise and rubbed his leaned midsection softly then shrugged.

“Eh, shreddin’ sick waves does kinda work up an appetite, I guess.”

And boy did Brawly’s appetite show. He very eagerly shoved one of the buns in his mouth and took an immense bite out of it, like a solid quarter went down in one chomp. Like his Pokemon, Brawly squinted with a bright smile on his face as his cheeks bulged out humorously from how much bun he was chewing at once.

After he gulped that first bite, he licked his lips and grinned with excitement. “Yoooooooo! Talk about a mondo wave of flavor, dude! My tastebuds are swirlin’!”

Brawly very eagerly shoved more buns right into his mouth. He was happy as a clam munching away on those sticky, warm buns that all seemed to just melt in his mouth. The surfer managed to down a considerable amount of buns in a very short period of time. That tray full of buns he was working his way through was completely gone before he even knew it.

He wiped his mouth with a contented grin then frowned when he realized the buns were finished. “Aww, dude, I forgot to leave some for you,” he said and scratched his head with genuine guilt on his face. “That’s my bad, brah...”

But the Pokemon called out its name in a dismissive fashion.

“You sure, brah? This stuff was tubular! Ya oughta be able to have some for yourself!”

But again, Makuhita didn’t mind. Instead, it returned with another tray of sticky buns and a big ol’ smile on its face.

Brawly smiled and gently tapped it on the shoulder. “You’re too good to me, my dude.”

Makuhita smiled and merrily hobbled back to the kitchen. Brawly got to work downing more and more sticky buns. He really couldn’t get enough of these things. Their texture, the flavor, the warm feeling of each mouthful he bit into sliding down his gullet and filling his stomach with more warmth. It was a tidal wave of deliciousness and like any surfer, Brawly had to ride that wave to the fullest.

And fullest really was the appropriate term here.

Brawly’s usually lean washboard of a stomach was getting pretty bloated from all those buns he was downing in so short an amount of time. His skin-tight surf shirt stretched out around the middle and started to rise up and expose more of his surfer tanned flesh. But he couldn’t help himself, the buns were just irresistibly good. And like the first tray of buns, Brawly had consumed every last one.

After finishing his last bun, Brawly burped loudly then leaned back in his chair satisfied. “Ahhh, righteous...” he said, patting his belly with a satisfied sigh.

But then Makuhita approved the table with another tray of buns.

Brawly looked at his Pokemon with surprise. “Uh...y-you want me to eat more?”

Makuhita called out its name and nodded eagerly.

Brawly frowned then looked down at his stomach. His shirt was already riding a few inches up from how bloated it had become. He’d already eaten well past what he normally would have and it was definitely feeling nice and full by that point.

But then he looked at his Pokemon smiling back at him. Surfer bro or not, Brawly was a nice guy with a big heart that made him a bit of a pushover. So, he managed to smile back and took the tray. “Well, um, can’t let this stuff go to waste, right?”

Makuhita smiled and cried out happily, but to Brawly’s eternal dread, it headed back to the kitchen.

“Uh, y-you don’t have to make anymore, brah! S-Seriously, this is plenty!”

It wasn’t plenty. It was too much. But because Brawly didn’t want to leave his pal hanging, he took another bun and started biting into it. The buns still tasted great and went down nice and smooth. But the thing was that his stomach was already at capacity and the more he ate, the heavier Brawly’s belly became. And there was a very fine difference between feeling stuffed and feeling heavy; the latter was never fun.

It wasn’t made any better the more buns Brawly continued eating. His stomach grumbled loudly in protest which made Brawly cringe and stroke his rounder belly in an effort to calm it down. His shirt was riding up a little more with each bun he ate which only made the gurgling in his gut grow louder and more unpleasant.

About halfway through the buns, he huffed exhaustedly and slumped back in his chair feeling absolutely stuffed. His belly was feeling way too full and way too heavy, getting so bloated that his shirt even rode up above his belly button.

“Ungh, feelin’ wiped out, brah...” Brawly whined to himself, rubbing his belly with both hands while it churned and grumbled away.

His stomach hitched, like a sudden, mild cramp emerged. Brawly looked like he was going to be sick for a moment there. But instead, Brawly burped so loudly that it could be heard from outside of his place.

BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!

With that massive burp came a sudden relief that wafted over Brawly and left him sighing heavily.

“Ohhhhhh yeah, I needed that, brah, holy cow...” Brawly moaned and clutched at his tight bloated stomach with delighted relief. Doing so made him belch loudly again, which only brought him more relief.

“Whew! Dude, that was...” Brawley started to say but stopped.

He felt another one coming then thumped his chest a few times with his fist until one more huge burp erupted from his mouth.

BOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRP!!!!!!!

That one left Brawly moaning with absolute relief.

“Haaah, dude, that almost sounded like one’uh Marlon’s, brah...” Brawly bragged and smacked his belly heartily with satisfaction. It was like he got his second wind right there, getting that pressure out.

So he went right back to downing more buns. With the extra room he’d just made, it was a lot easier to down the remaining buns. He still felt full when he ate, but he now knew he could fit the rest of Makuhita’s baking into his packed belly.

But second winds don’t last forever and it wasn’t long before fullness kicked in again. Brawly’s stomach was feeling heavier and heavier, while his shirt rode up a little more due to how stuffed his stomach was by the end. It was a struggle but Brawly managed to eat what was left on his tray.

By the time he finally finished, Brawly let out a lengthy burp and pushed himself up to his feet.

“Ungh, brah, I’m stuffed...” Brawly groaned wrapping his hands around his tight, bloated belly. One hand went to his mouth in time for him to muffle a big burp, judging by the rumble it made in his closed mouth and the way his cheeks puffed. He groaned miserably after that and blew the gas off from the corner of his mouth and fanned the air around his nose. “Ugh, that don’t smell nearly as good coming up as it does going down...Ourrrrhp...ungh...”

He walked away from the table while his belly churned loudly. It felt so unbelievably heavy that Brawly could pass out right then and there.

But right when he was in the middle of walking away, something tapped into his backside. Brawly turned around and immediately looked down with mortal dread in his eyes.

Makuhita was directly behind him, smiling up at him with yet another tray in its hands.

Brawly smiled nervously and backed away waving his hand at his stocky Pokemon. All that nervous jittering upset his rounded stomach however and made him belch mid-protest.

“URRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!! Whoa!” Brawly said, holding a fist up to his mouth as he smiled nervously and burped again behind his hand. “BURRRP!!! Ngh, th-that’s enough for today, my dude! Really, I’m beyond the waves here!”

But then he saw his little Pokemon’s smile turn sad, and as one could predict, poor bloated Brawly’s heart twisted.

Not as badly as his belly was about to...

By the time poor Brawly had been coerced into finishing that last tray of buns, he was a complete mess. The poor young surfer was sprawled on his couch sporting a belly so big that he almost looked pregnant. His shirt had completely ridden up beneath his chest, leaving its tanned spheric form exposed and his pants undone and tucked down to his huge gut breathing room.

He laid there on the couch, nursing his beachball of a belly and burping again and again, until a huge burp rolled out of him for ten straight seconds. If Brawly weren’t in utter agony, he’d almost be impressed since that had to be a new record for him. Unfortunately, he was too busy trying his best not to puke from being so stuffed.

Brawly moaned in absolute misery which turned into a rumbling burp halfway through, but one that gave him no relief.

“Urrrrrrrrgh...so...urrrrp...full...UuuuuurrrrooooorrrrAAP!” Brawly groaned between overstuffed burps.

His belly was so noisy that it was almost as loud as some of the burps he was letting out relentlessly.

Makuhita hobbled over to its trainer and frowned sadly at him, looking at how massive his belly was from all the buns and how utterly sick with fullness Brawly himself looked. It called out its name sadly, as if it was apologizing to Brawly, but the overstuffed trainer managed a very weak smile and ruffled its head.

“...Ungh, h-heh, you just...” he paused to burp into his fist, then again. “Ungh, just wanted to do somethin’ nice for me, my dude...all good...”

But Makuhita still looked sad seeing how miserable Brawly looked, especially compared to his usually exuberant self. It saw him cringe when his belly burbled heartily and then it got an idea.

With a bit of effort, it hopped onto the couch and placed its mitten-like paws against Brawly’s big, drum-tight stomach. And then it started to rub away. Brawly suddenly groaned again, but for a different reason. He seemed to relax and have a slight smile on his face as he groaned which encouraged Makuhita to keep gently rubbing Brawly’s belly for him.

It was kind of amazing how someone who was so normally lean could even get this bloated, especially from sticky buns. Brawly really did pack away a whole lot, Makuhita realized which made it feel even more guilty. Part of it worried it was because Brawly didn’t want the Pokemon to feel bad, but when it saw how happily Brawly ate that first tray, it couldn’t help but bake more and more. After all Brawly was its best friend and it wanted to show the young surfer how much it cared for him.

But that didn’t matter. The belly rubs seemed to be working so the stocky Pokemon continued running its paws up and down and all around that round achingly full stomach. There was very little give apart from Brawly’s lower stomach, but the mere sensation of Makuhita’s paws roaming his belly seemed to help him feel better, if at least a little bit.

Brawly’s belly quivered under Makuhita’s paws but it seemed as the quivering was almost a pleased sort, judging by the way Brawly moaned to himself.

“Ohhhhh, Makuey...you’re the best, bra-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!” Brawley’s sentence was cut short when the end of his sentence turned into a big and guttural burp. He covered his mouth and smiled sheepishly at his Pokemon. “H-Heh, my bad...”

Makuhita just giggled and kept on rubbing that turbulent tummy.

#brawly #gym leader brawly #pokemon #makuhita #stuffed belly #belly kink #belly rub #indigestion #burping #stomachache #squidbiscuit #wholesome #fluff #friendship

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muwur · 4 years

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snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up”

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc.

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧ “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧ “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧ “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today”

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #sugawara x reader #kageyama x reader #oikawa x reader #kenma x reader #akaashi x reader #koganegawa x reader #semi x reader #shirabu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu headcanons

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captainillogical · 4 years

Text

Distant Lands Ch.19

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

Strangely enough, you wake up in your bed.

You don’t remember coming into your room to sleep, but here you are. It’s light out - the blinds are closed, but the window is glowing with sunlight. You rub at your eyes, trying to get the rest of the lingering feeling of sleep out of them. You wonder what time it is, and you look over to see your phone left on your small bedside dresser. Without moving from your lying position, you reach over to grab it off the flat surface.

You pull out the charging cable, and open your lock screen. It’s a bit past two in the afternoon. Ugh. You see a couple texts from Steven, and some from an unknown number. You open his messages first.

[10:23] Steven: I woke up fairly early and saw you asleep on the couch with Spinel. Color my face surprised. Wasn't expecting you two to be so chummy considering how you met, initially.

[10:23] Steven: I told you to get some sleep but you really don’t want to listen to me, huh? She helped me put you to bed. Was a little surprised at how careful she was with you.

[10:23] Steven: Anyway, you looked like you needed quite a bit of rest so Pearl, myself and Spinel are going to Little Homeworld ourselves to introduce her to some of the others and show her around a bit.

[10:24] Steven: Take it easy today, and don’t fret about the small stuff. I’ll take care of it, as well as giving some of the others a quick run-down of what happened so you’re not bombarded with the same questions multiple times.

[10:24] Steven: I gave Spinel one of my old cell phones that Peridot ‘upgraded’, the one with the heart stickers you put on the back (I thought it was funny), and gave her your number. Watching her try to navigate human technology was hilarious, btw.

[10:24] Steven: Also we still have that tub of blueberry yogurt in the fridge that I didn’t really like, so if you’re hungry please eat that first. Pearl won’t let me buy more yogurt until I finish that one. :(

You stare at the texts for a moment, brain working a little slow still. Lord.. you can't believe Steven saw you like that, and with Spinel. He could've reacted way worse, but you're glad that it wasn't the case. You kinda have a feeling he might ask you a couple personal questions regarding that.. ugh. You’re also trying to not be disappointed that you’re not there with them and Spinel, and getting to see her interactions with the others.

Oh well, nothing you can do about it now. You text him back before opening the other messages.

[02:09] Y/N: Pssh, I’ll sleep when I want to sleep. Plus, I couldn’t really pass out before talking to her about shit on my mind. It’s fine. And thanks for making sure I didn’t wake up with a stiff neck.

[02:09] Y/N: Keep an eye on her for me, yeah? She’s anxious about all of this.

[02:09] Y/N: And.. thank you, Steven. You know you're my favorite, right?

After sending the texts, you go over and open the unsaved number’s messages from a couple hours ago. They’re clearly from Spinel, so you save the number to your contacts before reading them all.

[10:42] Spinel: did it send

[10:42] Spinel: i think it did this time, phewwww no error message

[10:42] Spinel: this tech is old and weird but i can deal with it for now

[10:42] Spinel: i hope you got okay sleep

[10:42] Spinel: i’m out with steven and pearl as i’m sure he’s told you already

[10:42] Spinel: she’s kinda annoying sometimes, is that normal for her? i don’t know how to feel about her, especially knowing pink as much as i did

[10:43] Spinel: and i know you told me to be nice to steven, but he’s already laughed at me for being confused at your human tech. never listening to you again

[10:43] Spinel: little homeworld is not what i was expecting, but i think i like this a little better than whatever i had thought, anyway

[10:43] Spinel: bismuth is fun. i like her. she says she’ll put me to work for it, but she has a small place for me in this new housing block that’ll be ready for me later today

[10:43] Spinel: it feels kinda like too much at once and it’s a little overwhelming

[10:43] Spinel: but steven has helped a ton, and i’m starting to understand why you defended him as much as you did.

[12:16] Spinel: [attachment received]

You open the file, and it’s a very blurry image of the sidewalk and what you think is Spinel’s shoes. Did she mean to send that? You feel your face smiling, despite the weird feelings starting to blossom in your stomach. You’re glad she’s getting along with the others. You had been.. wary, really, and for good reason. But if the others can get over other gems trying to kill Steven fairly quickly, then you’re not surprised they can get over this, this soon. It was always you technically that held a grudge against the other gems that tried causing him harm. And well, you did hold a bit of a grudge against Spinel for a while..

You sigh out loud, and sit up before texting her back. It feels weird to be texting her, when you were so used to face-to-face communication.

[02:12] Y/N: I slept fine. Thanks for putting me to bed, Steven said some nice things about you :P

[02:12] Y/N: I’m glad you got used to cellphones pretty quickly, I’m a little impressed. And give Pearl some time, you just gotta brush off half her nagging for the most part.

[02:12] Y/N: What were you expecting little homeworld to be like? And how sweet of Bismuth, you should take a pic of the place when you get into it, I wanna see what it looks like inside.

[02:13] Y/N: Yeah.. it will feel like too much, Spinel. Think of what your life was like before this. I did say there was going to be a lot to adjust to.

[02:13] Y/N: Also did you mean to send that last image because I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking at exactly, there.

You check your social media for a second as you try not to let all of your thoughts linger on Spinel, and then roll your eyes at yourself when you realize ah right, a month didn’t actually pass here. There’s nothing new. You stand up, stretching your arms way over your head.

It feels good, not sleeping on the ground for once.

You make quick work of changing into an oversized sweater and some shorts from your current sleepwear, wanting to wear something loose and different. Phone in hand, you meander out of your room hungry, and into the kitchen. You see Amethyst in the living room, chilling on the couch and reading some magazine. Except you know she’s not reading it, she’s just looking for weird images to cut out and prank Pearl with in weird places.

“‘Sup.” She says without looking up from her browsing as you open the fridge, looking for anything but that yogurt. A month of only bullshit weird, plain fruit to eat and he thinks you’ll finish off his yogurt for him?

“Hey.” You reply back to her, and ugh.. unless you want to go through the effort of making eggs, toast and yogurt are really your only option since they haven’t gone food shopping. You make a face at the fridge, grabbing for the yogurt and closing the door.

“How ya’ feelin’?” She asks casually, flipping a page. An eye drifts over the page to land on you, and she lifts an eyebrow in interest. “You look better than you did yesterday.”

“...Thanks,” It comes out slightly insulted, but, well, it’s Amethyst. She doesn’t mince her words. “I got some decent sleep for once. Is Garnet home?”

“Nah, she’s got one of her lessons going on.”

“And you don’t?” You grab the bread out of the cupboard, and squint at it for a second. There’s.. a bit of fucking mold on the edge. Ugh. Your luck. You toss the bread onto the counter for Amethyst to eat later, and spot a single bagel left in the cupboard behind a bag of flour. Oh hell yeah.

“Not today, we pushed mine til tomorrow because Onion couldn’t participate for some reason.” She blows a lock of hair out of her face, turning a page.

“All for Onion, and he’s not even a gem. He can sit out one lesson.” You put the bagel in the toaster - getting crumbs everywhere and not caring, and grabbing a spoon for your yogurt.

“C’mon, you know the others love him, it was basically all their decision anyway.” She flips another page, and you can see her giving you a pointed look that you’re going to ignore. “Besides, I wanted to relax today anyway, considering all the stress you just put me under.”

“Cause it was totally by choice.” You retort with a roll of your eyes, opening the lid of the yogurt disdainfully and giving it a sniff. It smells fine but.. Ugh. You’re not much of a fan of yogurt. You take a bite, and it’s okay you guess.

“What are you planning on doing with the rest of your afternoon, anyway?” She asks as soon as you take another bite of yogurt.

“I uh,” You swallow. “I don’t know, actually. I was thinking I’d be with Steven and Pearl, showing Spinel around, but it seems they’re all doing that without me.” You say, half a frown forming on your face. You kind of realize that you’re way more disappointed by that fact than you had previously figured, but that train of thought is interrupted by the bagel popping out of the toaster. You jump slightly, almost launching your yogurt out of your hands. Amethyst notices but doesn’t make a comment about it.

“Y/N, I know you’re really caring and wanna help, but don’t you think you should take a couple days just for you?” She gives you a look.

“A couple days to what?” You match her look, popping an eyebrow for extra emphasis. “Relax? Like the weeks I just spent doing absolutely nothing on a forgotten planet in the middle of nowhere? I’m good.”

She looks at you, deadpan, and sighs. You notice a bunch of bananas on the top of the fridge that you had missed earlier, and get an idea that’s better than just eating yogurt.

“You’re kind of impossible. I’m telling Steven to not let you help him with any more of his current projects.” She sets the magazine down and cracks her knuckles obnoxiously. “Maybe it will force you to go out and do something for yourself for once.”

“Don’t you dare.” You say in annoyance, grabbing the bananas and blender from the top of the fridge, setting them on the counter. You grab the milk from the fridge and pour a little inside, and dump some of the yogurt in as well. You don’t care for proper proportions, you measure smoothies with your soul.

“I’m literally texting him right now and you can’t stop me.” She grabs for her phone, typing on it quickly.

“You can’t make me relax, Amethyst.” You say, peeling two bananas and tearing them into small enough chunks to blend, putting those in as well with a couple cubes of ice for good measure. “If I want to help out, I’m helping out.”

“Not if I can help it.” You hear her say as you put on the lid of the blender and plug it into the outlet next to it.

You grab your phone to text Steven to dissuade him from whatever Amethyst is saying to him, and press the liquify button on the blender.

A terribly familiar whirring noise fills the room, and your blood runs cold. You freeze on the spot.

You rip the plug from the outlet near violently, silence filling the immediate space. A beat or two passes.

“Uh.” You hear Amethyst say from fifteen feet behind you. “Y/N? You okay?”

You’re staring at the blender, and you can’t get your mouth to move. The chunks of ice shift, light from the afternoon sun hitting it and causing it to sparkle.

“Y/N?” She asks again, and you hear slight shuffling.

There’s this indescribable feeling of fear and dread swirling at the pit of your stomach, and then you feel an arm pulling at your elbow.

“Y/N.” Amethyst reiterates from beside you, and suddenly, you can turn your head to face her.

“Yeah?” You answer, facing her and blinking. She looks at you for a second before answering.

“What was that?” Her brows furrow in concern.

“I, um.” You realize you aren’t hungry anymore. “That was nothing.”

“Bullshit.” She looks offended at your response. “I’ve never seen you react that way before, to like, anything.”

“Uhhhhh, you know what?” You say, feeling like your mouth is working on autopilot at this point. “I’m gonna go out actually.”

You spin around, walking around Amethyst entirely despite her protests, and leave out the front door. You hear it slam shut behind you.

By the time you check the time, it’s nearly five in the afternoon, and you’re in front of the new bakery, Spacestries. You uh.. you didn’t realize you had walked all the way over here. You think you wandered the beach for a while, trying to definitely not think about what happened in the kitchen, with Amethyst as a fucking witness. Embarrassing. Could’ve been worse, you guess - it could have been Pearl there. It’s probably best if you don’t use the blender for a while.

You’re completely annoyed with yourself about all of that, really, and by pushing all of that away you’re trying to not let the rest of your thoughts linger on the other thing you shouldn’t put any more thought into, which are your obvious feelings for Spinel. That area is a whole ass disaster that you’d rather ignore right now. You have a few notifications that you swipe away as soon as they come; your heart pathetically skipping a beat when it sees her name there for a split second - you’re not in the right mood to reply to the messages at the moment. Later.

You sigh, pocketing your phone. You look at the shiny new sign above, squinting at the sun in your eyes, and someone nearly walks into you on the sidewalk. Ugh. You stand there for a second, letting the hot air of summer waft by. You smell fries from somewhere nearby, and your stomach growls. A car honks off in the distance.

It’s not even a busy day out. It’s just another lazy afternoon, something you’ve experienced many, many times in your life. But you find yourself listening to the muted sounds of Beach City, thankful that you’re standing here on a paved sidewalk that was made by humans. Your hair tickles your nose, and you blow air to get it out of your face.

A minute or so passes. You figure you should just go in and buy yourself a cheese roll or something. You don’t know why you’re just standing outside.

You take in a deep breath, and open the door. It chimes as you come in.

It’s cool inside from the air conditioning, and there’s no one behind the counter. You walk in slowly, hearing your footsteps tapping on the floor. There’s a small FM radio off to the side playing the top 40’s that you can barely make out due to all the static. It’s been a while since you’ve heard music.

There’s a lot of pastries on display, and they look good. You wonder if he’s working today. You walk up to the counter leisurely, looking at the glazed fruit tarts on the top display shelf.

“I’LL BE UP FRONT IN A SECOND!” You hear a familiar muffled voice coming from the back room.

“Take your time, Lars. It’s just me.” You reply, hearing your voice not carry very far. You hope he heard you despite the white noise of the AC. There’s a couple more shuffling sounds, as it sounds like he’s rounding the corner.

You see the tray of cream puffs in one hand before Lars walks out, and he’s got another in the other hand, balanced on his hip.

“Y/N? Is that you out ther-” He stops abruptly as soon as he sees your face; and one of the trays slips out of his hand, clattering on the floor loudly.

He opens and closes his mouth. Twice.

“What in the actual fuck happened to you!?” He nearly shouts, eyes wide. He rushes to set the remaining tray on the counter, and completely ignores what is on the floor to get over to where you’re standing.

“Uh..” You pull your sweater sleeves down, AC giving your arms goosebumps. “A lot. Can I have one of your fresh cheese rolls?”

He gives you an incredulous look. “Yeah, as soon as you tell me how you fucking died!? What the hell have I missed in the last fews days while I was out of town!?”

“Cheese roll first, buddy.” You say, and cross your arms.

“Ugh, FINE!” He tosses his hands into the air, and makes quick work of grabbing his freshest roll for you, placing it into your hands with a napkin. He gives you another look.

You take a bite out of it, and it tastes so good that you feel tears prickling the corners of your eyes, and you cannot stop them from forming. Lars seems to take notice.

“Spill. You’re being weird and I’m actually concerned right now.” He puts his hands on his hips. You finish chewing before answering, but he holds up a finger instead. “Wait. Sit down and finish that, I’ll go grab some coffee for the both of us, I just made fresh pot that should be done brewing by now.”

He leaves momentarily to grab the coffee, and you sit down at the little two person table in the corner of the shop. You feel your phone vibrate a few times in your pocket, but you opt to ignore it instead. They can wait; you told Amethyst you were just going out, and your brain can really only deal with so much right now. Namely food, and hyping yourself up to talk to Lars about this.

A few cars pass out on the street outside, and your eyes are glued to the bright blue sky and those giant fluffy clouds that are floating idly by. You take another bite out of the roll, savoring the way the buttery crust melts on your tongue. The song changes to one particular pop number that you hate, and you aren’t even irritated about it. You find yourself having missed the small things.

You hear footsteps approaching from behind you, and Lars sets down two cups of black coffee with a cream puff in front of you. Eh. You’ll deal with the coffee being black with no sweetner for it.

“So,” He sits down, taking a sip of coffee. “I’m gonna need you to elaborate. Was there some kind of freak accident or something?”

You take a sip of coffee before answering, staring at the new plugs in his ears. They’re filled with stars, and it’s kind of cute. Looks nice on him.

“You want a short version, or the whole thing? Because there’s a lot.” You say, exhaling out a long breath. The coffee is good, despite the bitterness.

He looks around his shop for a second, shrugging when his eyes fall back on you. “Business has been extremely slow all day, I’ve got plenty of time.”

“Okay. Well.. technically this was yesterday? Ish? It’s been a blur. Anyway..”

You find yourself opening up to him more than you did with the others, and you think it’s because he might be the only person who maybe understands how you feel in this moment. Human, thrown into too much space bullshit just to try to survive.

“..and yeah. That’s about all of it.” You finish, taking a small sip of your coffee.

Lars puts his face in his hands, sighing exaggeratedly. He’s been patiently listening this entire time, which is surprising for him.

“I need more coffee for this.” He says, getting up immediately to do so. It takes him a minute, but he comes back with a fresh cup for you both, and you’re thankful for it.

“Thanks.” You take a sip, and it’s nearly hot enough to burn your tongue.

“You know, I wouldn’t believe half the shit you just said if I didn’t actually know you. That’s nuts and utterly awful, even for it having to do with more gem bullshit.” He takes a drink, eyes roaming your face and hair.

“Yeah. I know.” You reply. “But what is life around Steven if not life-threatening and ridiculous? You know how it goes.”

“Yeahhh.. you’re telling me. Oh, has Amethyst texted you since your ‘incident’ earlier?” He asks, lifting his hands to do the air quotations with his index fingers.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’ve ignored every notification that has popped up on my phone since leaving the house earlier.” You feel another buzz ironically inside your pocket. Ugh.

“You can’t ignore all your problems forever you know, you should probably text them back sooner rather than later. I’m sure they’re worried about you.”

“I’ll get to it in a bit.” You say with a huff.

“Hm.. it’s kind of funny how I’ve also been stranded against my will somewhere away from civilization, now that I think about it. It just wasn’t with an alien.. and it was at least on Earth.”

“Yeah that’s a weird coincidence, I didn’t even realize.” You feel half your face perk in a wry smile. “You’re lucky you had Sadie instead of Spinel though, Sadie’s.. so much nicer.” He rolls his eyes at that. “Can I ask you something Lars? If you don’t mind.”

“Yeah? Of course.” He replies, perking an eyebrow in question.

“How did you deal with dying? Or uh, anything of what happened to you in space?” You avoid his eyes for a moment, looking out the window. You can see the heat rising off the pavement from here.

“Oh, god.” You hear him take another drink of his coffee. “Not well, at first. The off-colors helped me tremendously in dealing with my problems. I’m pretty whatever about the whole thing now, honestly. I take it day by day, and keeping busy doing what I love at this shop is helping. Also, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, as thankful as I am to be alive.” He points to his pink hair and face with his index finger, raising an eyebrow. “I hate the looks I get when I leave Beach City.”

“I’ll get used to it in time, probably. Still surprised when I look in the mirror." You sigh. You fix your eyes on the cup in front of you. “I also don’t want the gems to worry about me, and about what happened.”

“It’s something that took me quite a while to get used to. You’re wayyy more adaptable than I am, though, so I’m sure you’ll be a little quicker with it.” He says, running a hand through his hair and taking another drink of his coffee. “I’m sure they’ll worry about you regardless, and there isn’t really anything you can do about it. Kinda happens when they consider you family. Also, you’ve been through a lot. This isn’t just, like, breaking a leg or something.”

“I made the best of a shitty situation, and I’m alive and okay, it really isn’t a huge deal. I don’t want them walking on eggshells around me, or coddling me. I hate that. I’m not seventeen and stupid anymore.”

Lars stares at you like you’re definitely seventeen and stupid, expression that says ‘I cannot believe you right now.’

“You’re literally traumatized, you fucking idiot.” He says, completely exasperated. “Stop acting like what you’ve been through is as common as the cold. It isn’t. It’s going to take you time, and them some time. Talk to them if you’re that bothered with it.”

You shrug at him, affronted. “It’s whatever. I just want a normal life again.” Is what you hear coming out of your mouth.

“Your life stopped being normal the moment you accepted that babysitting job with the gems.” He rolls his eyes at you again, and you wanna kick him under the table. Just a little. “How are the gems dealing with Spinel by the way? I bet they thought they’d never have to fight another gem again, sheesh.”

“I was a little worried, but I think they’ll be fine honestly. They’ve dealt with worse. It probably helped that I was there to defend and vouch for her, really.” Someone passes the shop window, distracting your eyes for a second. A beat or two goes by, another car speeds down the street, and you wonder how Spinel’s doing right now. You hope Steven works his friendship magic on her, and you hope they become quick friends. They’re kind of like, two of the most important people to you. Oh, fuck. You think to yourself. Quick question, self? When the fuck did Spinel become that important to you? What the hell? Was it somewhere between hating her and dying for her?! You get the feeling you’re being watched all of a sudden so you look back over to Lars, and he’s studying your face with enough concentration to make you nervous.

“I feel like you’re still sitting on something that you want to talk about, but you’re too chickenshit to say it.” He says, full seriousness. You break eye contact, looking at your cup of coffee instead and sigh.

You and Lars have never been what you’d call good friends. Recently he’s been a lot better and you can actually talk to him like he’s a peer since he came back from space, but he used to be such a dick to Steven that you basically hated him, and you never hid that. You have no idea how he can see through you so well.

“How can you even tell?”

“Your posture isn’t relaxed whatsoever. You’ve been sitting like someone strapped a yard stick to your spine.” He answers bluntly. “You’re normally a sloucher.”

“Don’t read me like that ever again.” You scowl. “I’m sitting on it because I’m not sure I want to verbalize it out loud, okay? And I haven’t talked to anyone about it..” You say, ignoring his pointed look at you.

“Y/N, unless you’re going to say that you want to move back in with your shitty parents, or that all of a sudden you believe in the existence of saint nicholas, it can’t be that strange to say considering everything else you’ve said.” He leans his chin on his hand, nudging his coffee cup slightly with his fingers. You think, maybe.. maybe you can trust him with this too. Another shadow passes by the window, but you ignore it in favor of the swirling thoughts in your head.

“I have feelings for Spinel,” You blurt out with about as much grace as ripping off a band-aid; just as he takes another drink of his coffee. He chokes on it, sputtering everywhere - the entry door swings open with a chime and a customer walks in. He stands up suddenly, coughing into his hand.

“Give me just a second,” He says, turning to the customer, and rushes away from the table to go cough violently into the sink behind the counter.

The customer stares at him.

“Are you open?” They ask, even though they just came through the open, unlocked bakery door. You know, with the clearly printed hours on the glass.

He gives a thumbs up, coughing into the sink again and wiping his face.

“Yeah, just come up to the counter and I’ll help you out.” He says, a few coughs coming out here and there. He gives you a particular look from across the shop, and you’re not sure how to interpret it.

Your heart is beating wildly out of nervousness, and you kind of regret your honesty a little. Having feelings for a gem can’t be.. that weird. Right? Today is taking its toll on you already, and you’ve only been awake for a few short hours. You tune out Lars and the customer’s interactions, and pull out your phone instead. You should answer your messages.

You can kind of see the customer glancing at you in the corner, and you try ignoring it. You answer Amethyst messages first to let her know that you’re fine.

[02:48] Amethyst: dude, dont just leave

[02:48] Amethyst: esp after something like that [02:48] Amethyst: im worried about you, you know you can talk to me about stuff if you want

[02:48] Amethyst: or if u want a lounge buddy for distractions ig

[02:48] Amethyst: im here.

You feel bad that you rushed out like that on her, but you couldn’t stand in that kitchen anymore and you needed to be anywhere else but right there.

[05:32] Y/N: I’m fine, Amethyst.. I just needed some air.

[05:32] Y/N: Your concern is appreciated. Really.

[05:32] Y/N: Just needed to run away for a bit.

[05:32] Y/N: And I know. Thank you.

The customer talking to Lars is asking way too many questions about the gluten in the fruit fritters, and you can feel Lars’ annoyance from here. You see replies from Steven, and read those next.

[03:10] Steven: Of course I’m your favorite, who else has this Universe charm? ;)

[03:10] Steven: I’m gonna pick up pizza for us later, you deserve some good food after all of this, lol.

[03:10] Steven: And what’s Amethyst saying about not letting you help me out?

[03:10] Steven: Are you not resting like I told you to? I said to take it easy. I know we were planning on adding in a bunch of new classes and recruiting more people to teach them, but I can have Pearl help me out with that. Maybe Buck. He owes me a big favor anyway.

[03:10] Steven: It doesn’t matter, I was gonna tell you to take the next week for yourself anyway, because you need to chill.

[03:11] Steven: I’ll be home in a couple hours, and if you wanted to cancel wednesday movie night, I understand. :(

You stare at your phone, trying to not be irritated like you want to. You don’t want to be replaced, responsibility-wise. You like helping Steven out. It makes you feel useful, and if you aren’t being useful, what’s the point. You feel like no matter what you say to him, he won’t care though. He’s really stubborn like that. You’ll take the next few days off for yourself regardless.

[05:35] Y/N: I’m just out rn okay, didn’t want to be cooped up at home. I went out for a walk because of how much I missed the sand.

[05:35] Y/N: And no, I think I need movie night now more than ever lol. Kinda just don’t want to lay around in bed.

Mere seconds pass of you replying to his texts, and he’s answered you back.

[05:35] Steven: Want it to just be the two of us, or would you be okay with me inviting Spinel and the others?

[05:36] Steven: I might’ve hyped up Princess Diaries to her earlier, and well, this may be an easy way for her to be more.. at ease with everyone.

Oh thank god he asked. You didn’t want to seem desperate for her presence enough to suggest it. Also, he’s not wrong. You smile slightly to yourself as you reply to him.

[05:36] Y/N: Please do. :) That sounds fun.

Lars and the customer are now going back and forth about prices. You know he can handle himself, clearly, but you keep an ear perked in case this person goes full on karen-mode. You open Spinel’s messages last.

[02:52] Spinel: oops that wasnt what i was trying to send

[02:52] Spinel: [attachment received]

It’s another blurry picture, but it’s a candid shot of Pearl making a funny face while criticizing Steven about something. It’s actually fucking hilarious. You kinda want to send it to Amethyst.

[02:52] Spinel: shes been like this the last five minutes

[02:52] Spinel: its fun to watch

[02:52] Spinel: earth’s organisms are fun though so far

[02:53] Spinel: steven threw some food at the birds and i almost caught one

[02:53] Spinel: it pecked me

You try not to laugh out loud at the mental image, wishing desperately that you could’ve seen this.

[05:36] Y/N: I was going to ask why, except I know the answer to that already. You deserved being pecked, stop heckling local wildlife you fucking birdbrain

Before you can type up another message, you hear the door jingle again as the customer leaves - drawing you out of looking directly at only your phone. You must’ve tuned out the last of their interactions, because Lars is standing in front of the table with crossed arms.

He’s staring at you, half an eyebrow perked; like he’s trying to read your mind. You can hear his foot tapping on the cold tile floor. You are not going to lie to yourself - if you could get up and abscond, you’d do exactly just that. He suddenly whips his arm out, placing it upon the back of your chair.

“Don’t even think about running away from this conversation, Y/N.” He says, the radio crackling a bit in the background.

“Why would you think I want to run, Lars?” You avoid his eyes out of nervousness.

“Because I can see it in your eyes.” He plops back down in his seat, and sighs. His eyes haven’t moved from his gaze on you. “So. What the actual fuck?”

“Look. I didn’t even realize that I had these feelings until a couple days ago.. technically. Days on Golgotha. Not here, I mean.”

He brings his hand up to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose in disbelief and scrunching his eyes. “You’re telling me.. that you have feelings for a gem that tried to kill Steven and yourself, after being stuck on a different planet with her for weeks?”

You’re staring at him, unmoving. A second or three passes.

“Don’t put it so plainly out there like that..” You groan. “I already feel stupid about this.”

“I’ve known you for years now, and you’ve refused any kind of prospect of romance. I watched you turn down several people, including fucking JENNY of all people. Where the hell is this coming from!?” God he’s so worked up about this that he’s half talking with his hands.

“Yeah because I was busy with Steven! Also I just wasn’t ..interested in anyone.” You level him with a look, slightly miffed about all of this.

“What made her different?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!” You hear your voice raise, heart beating wildly in your chest. You can feel the adrenaline running through you. “At first I thought it was because she didn’t treat me like a fragile meatbag! Or maybe because she took my shit and threw it back at me!! AND THEN SHE STARTED TO GET ALL CARING, LIKE, SHE ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT MY WELL-BEING? GENUINELY? And she wanted to be my friend EVEN after I treated her like shit!”

“Oh, my god. You DO have feelings for her!!!” He shouts accusingly, pointing his finger directly at you.

“I WASN’T LYING YOU IDIOT.”

“Well?! What are you going to do about it?!” He implores, leaning into the table - practically knocking off his half cup of coffee.

“Nothing, probably,” You say, avoiding his eyes again.

“You’re joking.”

“What if I’ve been reading signals all weird, and she thinks humans are super gross?”

He levels you with a Look, one you deem The Judgemental Gaze of Judgement. He sighs for like the fifth time this conversation.

“Ugh! Give me your phone.”

“NO.”

“Let me talk to her!”

“DEFINITELY NO.” You hear your own voice echo throughout the room.

“Okay, so, you’re just going to steep in your own feelings and pretend you don’t have them? Really, Y/N?”

“Well.. no. Maybe. I don't know.”

“You’re being stupid.” He says with a roll of his eyes. “What are you actually afraid of?”

“...what if she can only see me as a friend?” You reply, a bit nervously.

“It’s not the worst thing ever, honestly. At least she’d still be your friend, take it from me..” He glances at his phone on the table for a moment, a notification popping up. “But I don’t know. I haven’t met her yet, but if she’s everything you’ve said to me so far.. I think you might be a little dumb about this.”

“I’m not saying you’re right, but I’ll keep it in mind.”

“If I happen to see her in the next week, I’m telling her if you haven’t by then.” He says with a perk of his eyebrow, tone half mocking.

“If I catch wind of that happening I’ll set your shop on fire.” You reply, deadpan. His eyes get large.

“No arson!” He points to the center of your torso, like this would be a thing you’d actually do. “Anyway, I gotta get back to making a new batch of what I dropped earlier before the delivery I’m supposed to receive in an hour gets here. You’re welcome to stay if you wanna help me out. I had 3 part timers quit in the last month.”

“Bet they left because you suck at being a manager.” You say, pocketing your cell phone and standing up. “And as much as I’d like to keep busy right now, it’s best I be getting back soon anyway.”

“I’m a great manager, for the record! Just unlucky. Thankfully the off-colors help out plenty, even if most of them are preoccupied doing things for themselves now. Let me know if you know anyone that wants any part time hours? I’m flexible.” He also stands up, pushing his chair in and grabbing both cups of coffee - now empty. He gives you a look before smiling a little. “I’m glad you’re alive and well, Y/N. And really. Talk to Spinel. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, you’ll feel a lot better getting it off your chest.”

“Yeah, yeahhhhhh. We’ll see.” You reply with an eye roll, and head out the door.

On your way home you stop by the boardwalk by Funland. The sun is beating down on you, but you don’t really mind this heat. It isn’t nearly as humid as on the surface of that awful place. It’s almost lovely compared to it. You sit on one of the nearby benches to zone out for a couple minutes, watching people and their dogs pass by as you internally fight yourself.

You should talk to Spinel. You think briefly that you should just text her about it, and then immediately swat that thought away. That’s the cowards route. Get it the fuck together. You’ve been through so much shit already, and you’re this hung up on your feelings. Also, Spinel deserves a lot more than just a stupid text.

Oh my godddd, you do not want to put too much thought into this shit, it will just make you even more anxious around her. Ugh. Seriously, you've been through waaay more anxiety inducing scenarios than this, what's your deal? You feel your phone vibrate with a notification, and you pull it up to see that it’s a message from Steven saying that they’ll be home soon. It’s a bit after six by now, and you send him a reply saying that you’ll see him there.

The distant sounds of the crashing waves of the ocean put you at ease. You pocket your phone, and you notice Mr. Smiley talking to a couple kids with cotton candy forty feet away or so. He sees you, and you can see his eyebrows raise in confusion all the way over from here.

Ugh. You’re kind of tired of explaining what’s happened to you. You get up and leave to avoid any kind of conversation about it, opting to just go straight home instead.

You take your flip flops off as you walk through the sand up to Steven’s house. It’s warm, and the salty sea breeze tickles your skin. It’s making you a little reluctant to go up the stairs. You’re halfway up when you hear muffled voices coming from inside, quite a few actually. The rest of them must have got here before you did, oops. You hope they don’t implore too much about where you’ve been and why it’s taken so long.

Once you open the front door you feel a couple eyes turn to you, and you swallow the weird anxiety in your gut.

“Y/N!” Peridot shouts from across the room, and you set your flip flops down on the ground near the door. “Jeez, took you long enough to get home.”

“Sorry, I took the long way home.” You reply, seeing her with Bismuth, Lapis and Pearl all chatting animatedly about something on the couch with each other.

“You guys only got here a couple minutes ago anyway.” Amethyst snorts, walking into the kitchen after she gives you a discreet look-over to make sure you’re visibly okay.

“Yeah but she’s the last one here, and that means she gets cleanup duty!” She retorts, giving you a pointed smirk from across the room.

“I feel like I should be exempt from cleaning duty for the next couple of weeks.” You walk over to the kitchen where Steven and Spinel are talking to Garnet about something, and your heart does this stupid, stupid little flip when you see her with the others. Her eyes gravitate over to you as she’s talking, something sparkling in them when she sees that it’s you - and tears her eyes away back to the others quickly.

What the hell. That was kinda weird. Steven looks over to you, and then to Peridot after he hears you.

“I’ve volunteered to take over her responsibilities this week, anyway, so suck it Peridot.” He says, sticking his tongue out at her childishly.

“You mean it?” You reply, feeling immense amounts of affection bubbling up inside for him.

“Yeah, well, you’re not wrong about being exempt for now. Also I just love you.” He grins, shrugging at you. You walk over to his side, ruffling his thick brown curls.

“Steeeeven, what would I do without you?” You say, and you see Spinel watching you out of the corner of her eye as Garnet talks to her. “I miss when you were shorter than me, who am I supposed to use as a chinrest now? Amethyst? She’s too short.”

“Hey!” Amethyst huffs, flipping some of her hair over her shoulder. “Being this short is one of my best qualities.”

“I thought it was your obnoxious personality?” You raise an eyebrow in mockery at her.

“I thought that was yours.” You hear Spinel say as your heart jumps into your throat, and you whip your face to hers.

“You of all people cannot say that to me!” You hiss out at her automatically without missing a beat, and the others burst out laughing. Even Garnet. You feel your face heat up as Spinel grins, and whatever thoughts you had about her acting weird earlier vanish. When the laughter dies down, Steven looks over to her.

“I’ve gotta say, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that talks to Y/N that way and gets away with it.” He says, still smiling and shaking his head.

“Really?” Her eyes light up at that, and she gives you a particular look that makes you want to smack her. “I guess I must be kinda special or somethin’.”

“No, you’re just too stupid to realize when I’m telling you off.” You reply, and she splutters with a glare while the others laugh boisterously again.

It’s good to be in this kind of company again, you think.

Steven grabs the three boxes of pizza on the counter that you just noticed were there. The smell is very enticing. “Since we’re all here, I’m gonna go set up the movie so I can finally eat because I am starrrrrving.” He says, dragging it on a bit dramatically as he walks up the stairs over to his loft bed. “You guys can join whenever!”

You follow him immediately, mainly because you want food. Also, Spinel’s looking at you in a way that makes you hyper aware of literally every single thing you’re doing, and you need to sit down and calm yourself before you have some kind of self-induced heart attack.

“You wanna sit on the bed? You get first pick since.. y’know.” He looks at you, setting the pizza boxes down on the floor by the foot of his bed.

“Nah, I want the beanbag.” You say as the others make their way up here, and you grab said seat from the corner of his room, dragging it to the spot you want on the far left opposite of the stairs and next to Steven’s bed. Peridot likes to throw things during dramatic moments and you’d prefer to not be placed in the crossfire again.

“Suuuit yourself.” He says, popping the dvd case open and inserting the disk into the system below the tv. Amethyst plops on his bed with a satisfied sigh, rolling over to the edge to grab a slice from the boxes on the floor.

The rest of them come in, finding places to sit and lounge - all of them as loud as ever. You see Spinel off to the side by Pearl, and she looks like she doesn’t know where to sit. Eventually her eyes land on you - your heart doing a little flip, and you make a point to pat the ground next to you. Her eyes light up instantly. Not like you saved a seat for her or anything.

She gets over to you - having to stretch her leg waaay over to the side of the multiple gems in the center of the room making a commotion loudly over who gets to sit in front of the tv. She sits down next to you; wrapping her arms around her knees, her body language a little more at ease beside you than she was earlier.

You ignore your brain screaming about the implications. Just act normal, fucking idiot.

“You have fun today?” You turn your face to ask her, Bismuth bellowing out a laugh at something behind you.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting them to be so.. welcoming.” She says a bit quietly so the others don’t hear, pulling her gloved hand up to scratch at her cheek sheepishly. “I still don’t feel like I deserve this.”

“Well, you do.” You lean forward, grabbing a slice of pizza and a napkin. “So you better get used to it.” Before you even take a bite, you notice her staring at you. Steven’s cursing out the dvd player for giving him issues, and Pearl’s tutting him for his language. “What? You wanna try?”

“No. It just looks weird.” She replies, scrunching her face.

“Spinel.” You look at her, deadpan. “Unless you try it, you don’t get to judge pizza. Even Amethyst likes it.” You take a bite, melty cheese easily pulling off the slice. Her eyes go kinda wide, watching you - and then her face gets suspiciously smug.

“Wow, what is that? Kinda similar to how much I can stretch-” You give her a kick with your bare foot, and she chokes out a laugh. You roll your eyes, taking another bite. Her constant teasing makes your heart grow fonder, and that fact irritates you.

“Finally!” Steven says, pressing the play button on the menu. Guess he finally got it to work. He sits on his bed where his pillows are, Amethyst up at the front. The others are lounging around the rest of the room as the volume dies down.

The movie starts to play, and you settle comfortably in your beanbag. Once you’re done adjusting yourself, Spinel leans half her side and props her elbow up on your chair, resting her chin on her hand. She’s close enough to where you can feel the heat emanating off her slightly. She’s most comfortable around you, clearly.

You’ve seen the princess diaries many, many times as it’s one of Steven’s favorite movies - he starts singing ‘stupid cupid’ and you join along, earning a wink from him. Spinel makes comments here and there about the absurdities of royalty here, and several human traditions that the other gems laugh and nod in agreement. She seems to like it though, as she laughs pretty hard at a couple scenes.

You're content, you feel. You didn't think you'd get to experience this like, ever, with her.

Two thirds through the movie and several slices of pizza later, you notice Spinel watching you more than the movie out of the corner of your eye. You try not to be self-conscious about it, but you wish you could ask her if you have something on your face without alerting the others around you. She lays her arm down on your beanbag, parallel to yours resting against your thigh; and you have a quiet moment of panic because your immediate thought is to grab her hand and hold it.

Okay. You need to calm the fuck down, first of all. You’re getting way ahead of yourself. Also, the thought of anyone of them seeing that makes you want to run outside into the ocean to never return. You spend the rest of this movie consumed with so many thoughts about Spinel beside you that you don’t realize that the movie has already ended with the credits rolling, and the others are chatting and stretching their limbs from their stationary positions on the floor.

“Okay, do we want to watch another movie, or call it a night guys?” Steven asks, and a few of the others immediately all say they want to watch another movie.

“Okay but what exactly are we watching?” You turn your face to look at him. “Because I don’t want to watch the sequel.”

“But I loooooooooove the sequel!!!” He cries out, putting a hand on his chest in mock offense. “It has Chris Pine’s dreamy eyes!”

“There’s another one?” Spinel interjects, raising an eyebrow. “But they didn’t really leave room for continuation.”

“Exactly my point.” You reply. “It’s a bad sequel.”

“It’s not! You just hate good fun!” Steven whines.

“I kinda wanna watch it. I like the part when she pushes him into the fountain.” Amethyst chuckles, stuffing a room-temperature slice of pizza into her mouth in a single bite.

“Sweet! Then we’re watching it.” He says smugly, getting up to change the dvd out.

“You’re so biased it’s not even funny.” You groan, flopping your head back on the beanbag dramatically. “Next time I get to pick.”

“No! You always pick horror movies!” You see Steven whip his head towards you from the corner of your eye.

“Alien is a classic though. And besides, you always pick fucking romantic comedies my guy.” You retort.

“Yeah, how can you not get enough of them?” He sighs happily. “They always end good.”

“Alien ends good..” You pout, and hear him snort a little. “The cat lives.”

The movie starts, and you try to not zone out after the first ten minutes. Spinel makes several comments about ‘who the fuck is this guy? Where’s that guy she kissed in the last movie?’ and you get the joy of being the one to explain to her that sometimes, sequels are just Like That.

An hour or so in of you only half paying attention to the movie, and you think you see Spinel’s eyes droop.

Is she.. is she tired?

Another twenty minutes pass, and yeah, she’s definitely tired. She’s leaning against her hand on your beanbag again, a mere foot or so from yourself. You catch her drifting off a little - hand slipping - quietly startling herself awake. It’s so cute. You’ve never seen her this sleepy before. It’s strange, gems don’t get tired.. You think, briefly, of what that might imply. When was the last time she slept, you wonder? You worry a little about it - clearly she needs some rest if she’s nodding off right here.

By the time the movie is done and the credits are rolling, she’s got half her head curled into her arm that’s digging into your side, completely asleep. It makes your heart swell to see her like this. Steven turns his bedside lamp on, illuminating most of the room in a warm glow.

“Well! I’m beat.” He says, grinning and turning his face to you. “Did Spinel like the movies?”

“I’d ask her, but..” You look at him, shrugging and pointing to her.

“Is she asleep?” He whispers, some of the others looking over in your direction and away from their quiet conversations. For some reason your heart rate speeds up.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting her to pass out. It isn’t really like her to be this tired.” You reply. Your legs are numb from lack of circulation, and you stretch them out in front of you.

“Spinel.. sleeps?” An eyebrow shoots up into his hairline that has you feeling strange about what you had just said.

“I mean, yeah? It’s not that weird, Amethyst does it sometimes.”

“Yeah, that’s because I’m just lazy. But you don’t see me sleeping on you.” Amethyst chuckles lowly, a slow grin spreading on her face.

“What the hell are you implying?” You ask, feeling your face start to heat up.

“Nothing! She must trust you a lot is all, sleeping like that.” She laughs a little. “She looks kind of like a lapdog.”

“Don’t call her a dog, jeez.” You roll your eyes, pushing down the blush on your face.

“Look at you, defending her even when she can’t defend herself, when earlier you were so easy to insult her.” Pearl says from across the room, putting a finger to her lip and looking smug. “You know…”

“Alright, enough picking on Y/N. I wanna go to bed.” Steven says with a yawn, and the others file out of his loft down the stairs without much of a fight.

“Does she have a bed in her new place?” You watch her shoulders rise and fall with her breathing.

“No, er, she has a bedroom though. Wasn’t expecting her to be the sleeping type, honestly. I’ll get with Bismuth tomorrow about it. Shouldn’t take long, though. She can sleep on the couch tonight if anything.” He says, taking his socks off and flinging them across the other side of his room into the pile of laundry he has there.

"Alright." You say, thinking about several things at once. Hm. She looks so soft right now, and it's taking like, all of your self control to not stroke her head. It sucks that you've got to wake her.

Steven gets up to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth before sleeping, and makes a comment about his floor better not ‘be occupied’ when he comes back. You roll your eyes, smiling at him fondly. You love his teen attitude.

Very gently, you shake Spinel's shoulders a little. You're actually surprised when she lifts her head a little, slow blinking and confusion all over her face. She's got lines pressed into her face where she slept a little too hard against her arm. It's extremely endearing.

"Did I pass out?" She asks, rubbing her eyes but still looking very drowsy.

"Yeah. We finished the other movie. The others went off on their own, and Steven's going to sleep."

You lead the gem down the stairs, careful to not let her sleep-heavy self trip. You sit her on the couch, and walk away to grab the spare blankets from the cupboard for her. You pass Steven coming out of the bathroom on your way back over, him giving the both of you a peace sign and telling you to get decent sleep. He also apologises to Spinel in case she hears any snoring coming from him.

Once he’s out of sight, you place the spare blankets and pillow next to her on the couch.

“Are you gonna be okay out here? Let me know if you need anything.” Leaning your hands on your hips, you give her a quick look-over. She’s tired, clearly, but a little more awake than before.

She looks at you hesitantly, like she wants to say something, but is unsure how.

"What?" You whisper at her. "Is there something wrong?"

"Um.." She looks away momentarily, like she's nervous to admit something. It's making you anxious.

"Spit it out, Spinel." You say, and it comes out a little harsher than intended.

"I don't know if I can sleep. I've had.. really bad nightmares every time I've tried, so I stopped trying. It's been weeks.." She trails off, avoiding your eyes. "That nap earlier was the most solid sleep I've had in a while."

Oh. You.. you weren't expecting her to say that. You feel horrible about it, actually..

"Do you want to sleep with me?" You hear the words coming out of your mouth, horrified at what it kind of implied. "I-I mean, um, maybe having another person next to you might help you sleep?" You quickly correct yourself, feeling your face heat up in mortification. Yeah yeah idiot, ask the gem to sleep with you god what the hell is wrong with you.

Thankfully, you think she’s too tired to really catch on to that, as she kind of looks a little.. sheepish when her eyes lock on to yours.

“You’re not just sayin’ that, right? To be nice?” You think you see her wring her hands nervously in her lap, and you’re confused by it. Why the hell is she nervous?

"You think I'm purposefully nice?"

"Well.." She gives you a look.

"Come on." You say with a sigh. "My bed is big enough for the both of us, and it's comfier than this couch."

She follows you to your bedroom, and your heartbeats pick up pace. Calm down. Sure, this is like, completely new territory for the both of you. She's seen where you live, what you're like around other people, and now she's about to see your room. It almost feels.. strangely intimate. You have no idea why this particular thought puts you on edge. Like you're.. waiting on something.

You open your bedroom door, the both of you shuffling inside and closing the door behind you with a solid click. She looks around at the walls, intrigued by many of the things you've put up as decoration. You watch her for a moment, your brain repeating the words 'Spinel is in my bedroom' like a mantra.

"Hmmm." Is all she says, and you feel a little insulted for some reason.

"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me by saying that?"

"I like it. Reminds me of you." She gives you a cheeky smile, and you don't know if you'd rather slap her or kiss her.

All of a sudden you realize you're alone with her, like actually alone, without anyone having the ability to hear you. Not that there is anything to hear..

You shake your skull, dismissing the thoughts in your head. You're not going there today, brain. It's time to sleep.

"Before I lay down, I'm gonna change into better clothes. Make yourself comfortable." You say as you walk over to your closet, and immediately grab a tank top because you know you'll be warm. You also grab another pair of shorts. You make quick work of going out to the bathroom to change and to brush your teeth, and by the time you get back to your bedroom, she's looking at all the photostrips you have with Steven.

You pull back your blankets, sitting down on the surface of your bed and setting your phone on your nightstand.

"Aren't you tired?" You say with a yawn, and she turns to you.

"Very." She's halfway to the bed when you stop her before she gets in, and she gives you a perplexed look.

"This is gonna sound weird, but I don't want you in my bed wearing those."

"My.. clothes?" She gives you a look, half a grin forming on her face - her canines shining a little in the dim light of your bedroom. "Are 'ya saying you want me in there naked?"

"No, stupid! It's just, you wear those clothes everywhere, and it feels unsanitary to-"

"Yeah, yeah, calm down you brat. I get it.” She gets this kind of.. excited look on her face, eyes brightening. “Am I gonna get to steal your clothes then?”

“Pick whatever you want from my closet I guess.” You say, and watch her rifle through your clothes.

“You have a lot of sweaters in here.”

“Sweaters are comfy. They’re my favorite thing to wear.” You state, the feeling of being on edge still fully not going away.

It’s strange, being this casual with her. Like you didn’t meet her under the circumstances you did, and didn’t go through all of that with her either. You haven’t really had many close friends in your life, but you like to think that if you had met her differently, you’d still eventually form some kind of tentative.. friendship, or whatever you call this, with her. Halfway friends, halfway something else. See now you’re just being too hopeful, because technically she hasn’t brought up feelings at all. Or that kiss. Or whatever the fuck she was going to say before she left you on the hill.

“-were you wanting to watch me change, or should I go to the bathroom?” You’re torn out of your thoughts by the sound of her voice, and you feel your face heat up as you tear your eyes away. How embarrassing. It's not like she can read your thoughts though, right?

“Was spacing, sorry. I’ll look away.” You keep your face turned towards your phone, checking the time and thinking momentarily about setting an alarm. You hear the shuffling sounds of moving fabric and boots hitting the ground, and forego the alarm altogether. Who’re you kidding yourself, you’re not waking up early.

Before you realize it, she’s pulling the covers away on the other side of you and you feel a weight dipping into the mattress beside you. You're getting jitters in your stomach as you turn to catch her eye, because she's got one of your oversized Sadie Killer band tees on that's large enough that the top half of her gem is peeking out, and her hair isn't up in twintails anymore and now you're just staring at this point. The fact that you can see the entirety of her neck as well as the area around her collarbones has you feeling some way that you just know is absolutely showing on your face. You've never seen her show this much skin.

"What.." She gets this sort of stubbornly shy look when she realizes you're staring at her, her cheeks coloring faintly. She looks so different like this.. vulnerable, mostly. She doesn't have her gloves on, and you're pretty sure she's wearing a pair of your shorts as well because you can see her bare legs. "Is there something on my face? Don't give me that look."

"No, I just wasn't expecting to see you with your hair down."

"It doesn't look weird does it? I wasn't-"

"Shut up, you look cute.. and very non-threatening." You say, throwing in the jab with a bit of a smirk.

She rolls her eyes, scowling a bit. You think you see her cheeks darken ever so slightly, but it could also be a trick of the dim light in your room and the lines on her cheeks. You'd love to see just how far you can push those buttons of hers sometime. The look on her face when she's frustrated is probably one of your favorites, but you'd only ever admit that to yourself.

"Oh, I'll show you threatening.." She replies with a glint in her eye, the corner of her lips twitching.

"Pfft, go to sleep. You're about as threatening as a chihuahua." You retort, feeling that smirk grow a little wider, but also seeing her reach for her cell phone. "Spinel, I forbid you from looking that up until the morning."

"Uggggggghhhh, you can't tell me what to do!" She flops down onto the bed next to you, magenta hair messily all around her head. She fixes it with a huff, giving you a dirty look that you find amusing as you lower yourself into the blankets you're sharing with her. "If I wasn't so tired I'd fight you."

"Oh, I'm sure." You reply with a chuckle, turning to the center of the bed to face her.

She turns her head to look at you, face drawn in a glare and yet her eyes are so very warm. Your eyes are caught here with hers for a moment, and you feel your breath catch in your throat. Two.. three seconds pass, and you're pretty sure she's looking at your mouth. She looks like she's about to say something, her lips parting ever so slightly.

And then she flops over to her other side, and you're left laying there wondering what in the fuck was that.

Ugh. You hate girls. And aliens.

"Don't let me sleep forever." She mumbles, and you lean over to your lamp to switch it off.

"No promises." The room is blanketed in darkness in a single click, and you switch on your salt lamp before leaning your head down on your pillow, back flat against the bed. There's still a tiny bit of light coming from the glow of the moon through the blinds, and you pull your blanket up to your chest. You try getting comfortable, and it's.. fairly difficult when you're hyper aware of the person next to you.

"Would it be too much to ask if you could.. y'know.." You hear her say, almost too quiet for you to hear. You think your heart does a little backflip inside your chest.

"Are you asking me to cuddle you?!" You reply, barely being able to hold the mirth in your voice back.

You hear her sigh aggravatingly, and you roll over to put an arm around her waist before she can protest.

"You are so annoying." She spits out.

"Whatever. I knew you liked being the little spoon." You grin smugly behind her back, siphoning all the warmth from her as you can. Your knees are almost hitting the back of hers, and because of how squishy your bed is, this is the closest you think you've ever been to her as you're basically flush with her body. It's comfortable, and intimate, and you're trying to not think about how easy it'd be to just.. confess your feelings to her.

"Shut it." You hear her say; and you just know she's rolling her eyes even if you can't see her, and smiling regardless.

Silence envelops the both of you, and you're feeling sleep start to catch up with you when all of a sudden you feel her arm move, and then her soft fingers are tentatively being entwined with yours.

Your heart speeds up tremendously and all you can hear is the blood pounding in your ears. Your face is on fucking fire, and you can feel it. She has to know that you're having an internal fucking panic right now, you're like a hundred percent sure your hand is shaking. What the fuck do you do? Are you gonna talk about this? Is this what's happening?

A mere minute passes that feels like a lifetime of you fighting with yourself. As soon as you open your mouth to say something, you hear steady sounds of breathing coming from her.

Oh.

She's fallen asleep holding your hand.

You blow out the breath you didn't realize you were holding, and stifle the laugh that wants to come out of your mouth.

You think, maybe, that you love her.

You watch the back of her head until you get tired, and fall asleep fairly easily, her hand warm in yours.

#spinel x reader #su #spinel #steven universe #distant lands #my fic #part one of end lol #its long as FUCK

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bigtittygermanbf · 5 years

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ok but bard/wolfram in a boot camp au?? both their dads who are veterans or whatever send them there bc they really suck at communication with their kids and suddenly think it’s a good idea?? a big yes from me chief

- aight so they in high school or summin so first off these boys are already hella awkward but being surrounded by incredibly buff authority figures? bard is on the verge of crying everyday when someone yells

- finny is bards little brother and he too is on constant edge in fear of messing up

- sienglinde and wolfram are basically thrown out the car with a big yee haw without knowing what the hell is going on

- wolfram been questioning his sexuality so being surrounded by a bunch of men?? he gon lose his gotdanm mind -especially when he see some blond twink like three feet shorter than him

- the two are stuck in the same cabin so they become friends p fast

- they start doin their daily chores together and whenever they get to choose a partner for an exercise thing they always ho together

- morning jogs seem to be less tiring when you have someone to talk and complain to

- sweaty homeboys helping eachother w their sit ups by holding eachothers feet and counting, adjusting the others push up position, giving tips on how to do a decent pull up

- as the boys get closer they feel more comfortable talking about personal issues- their parent/s being gone for those long stretches of time, trying to take care of siblings, etc

- jokingly giving eachother pet names,,, bards personal favorite to use is sugar/hun and wolfram likes using dear

- eventually during these talks bard says he thinks his dad sent him bc he came out as bi towards the of school and wolf is all like oh?? there are other people like me here??

- wolfram tells him that he thinks he’s gay but he aint sure and bard is really supportive about it tellinf him that he doesn’t have to make up his mind immediately/it took himself a while to realize and basically that its ok to explore n all that

- wolf gets socked in the face with love for bard so he really ain’t know what to do bc he can’t throw fists back :/

- bard calls him babe one day and he loses his mind even though he knows its jokingly,,, it his first time ever gettin called that

- his confession happens in the middle of the night bc he be feelin sick to his stomach abt it all so he just strolls over to bards bed and rocks his shoulder til he wakes up

- bard is on his last brain cell do to it being like 3 am but he’s super chill with it until he notices how shaky wolf’s hands are and he asks

- he basically gets told how amazing and beautiful he is but this ho starts tearing up bc: a) he aint feel that way bout himself and b) wolfram is so sweet and he really likes him too!!

- anyways wolf freaks the hell out bc he thinks hes mad at him so he starts apologizing but bard just kinda laughs and is all like ‘nonono you’re great i just i dunno man’ leading on to the story bout his ex boyf(cOugH CouGh sebastian) who totally led him on only to ditch him after destroying all the love he’d giving, calling him a mistake an all that :-(

- the boys are both shaking now, not with emotions and all that but bc the cabin aint got a door and its like 30° out there so bard scooches to the other side of the bed to let wolf cuddle with him

- it starts out p slow with the relationship since its wolf’s first real one so they just hold hands and cuddle for a while,,, cheek kisses happen and then suddenly they both havin their first kiss

- by the end of the summer they find out that they live really clise to each other so their relationship continues on and all

- extra: bard would definitely post pics of wolf on insta with a caption like 'damn he do be lookin a little thicc tho😳’ just to piss seb off

#boot camp au #bard/wolf #wolfram gelzer #baldroy #i dont know shit abt boot camps tbh #also this was written two(?) years ago so the grammar is horrible please ignore #i fixed it up in a few places but i genuinely couldnt spell for shit back then #black butler #kuroshitsuji

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

Elastic Heart Part 9/10 (Branjie) - Mia Ugly

A/N: Thanks as always to artificialmeggie for the feedback. She’s the best, you guys.

Brock is in Houston when the lip sync finally airs.

He’s seen pieces of it before but that’s all. They played a clip of it during the reunion, and he only took in parts of it. He’s really not looking forward to seeing the whole build up.

Or the way it fucking ends.

His manager wanted him to host a watch party for the episode, but a brief conversation with Brock obviously made him re-think it (Brock’s hovering on the fine edge of ‘not okay’ and it’s starting to become fairly apparent to even the peripheral people in his life.) So he gets to take the night off.

He thinks about streaming it in his hotel room, but then he’s also a little worried about being alone. So he finds a local club that’s screening it, dresses like his usual disheveled self, and sits up at the bar.

The episode is ugly, a slow slide into a car accident, tires skidding on the ice. His attempts at rapping are about what you’d expect, and Vanessa doesn’t do much better (she’s nervous, though, that’s all that it is. If he hadn’t been there, if all that shit hadn’t been going on between them, he’s sure she would have crushed it.)

Then there’s the runway, where they both turn it out but not enough to save themselves. Brock watches Vanjie’s face during the critiques, watches her close her eyes and nod (he didn’t expect it to hurt this much.)

Christ, they were holding hands when they came back on the main stage. Brock had forgotten that. The image on TV re-awakens the memory in him, and the feeling of their hands sliding apart burns against his palm.

He grits his teeth during the lip sync, watches the moment he stops dancing, watches the devastated look that comes over Vanessa’s face (his pulse is kicking in both wrists, in his throat.) He watches their hug afterwards and can’t help but notice how much they’re both shaking. He sees himself mouth something in Vanessa’s ear and thanks God the mics didn’t pick it up, or the editors chose not to play the audio. He doesn’t know what he would have done.

It’s a bit like putting together the pieces after a night of heavy drinking. Some of the things Ru says are familiar and some are like they happened to a different person. Brock watches himself thank the judges, watches himself tilt as he sashays away (almost falling but not quite.)

And then he’s back in the werkroom, staring at the camera like it’s the scene of a crime.

Brock holds his breath. He wonders if he could hold it for the rest of the episode. His lung capacity is pretty good, and it’s almost over. Almost there.

“I’m - in love with him,” Brooke Lynn says on television. “Oh my God.”

Oh my God.

Brock’s entire body flinches, and he knocks his drink to the floor. The sound of breaking glass is buried beneath the cheers and applause of bar patrons, reacting to Brooke Lynn’s stunned confession.

“Shit, shit - I’m sorry -”

Brock said he loved him, he fucking said it on television, he didn’t know -

“It’s fine, no worries.” The bartender is coming around with a rag, bending to pick up the broken glass. “Happens all the -” He stops. Blinks. “Holy shit, are you Brooke Lynn Hytes?”

“I’m just going to - okay -” Brock leaves too much money on the bar to cover his tab, and gets out of there as if an angry mob is chasing him. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Somewhere across the world, Jose is probably watching this episode.

Oh my fucking God.

His phone is ringing but Brock doesn’t answer it. Text notifications are going off like mad and Brock doesn’t look at them. He keeps walking down the sidewalk and when that isn’t enough, he breaks into a run. He doesn’t know where he’s going, just knows he needs to get as far away from everything as possible. The show, the bar, himself.

How did he not remember that? How did he not know?

How could he have been so -

(The first van ride back to the hotel, Brooke ends up in a seat beside Vanjie. It’s crowded and loud, everyone still full of energy from the photo-shoot, from their first day of filming, as if there isn’t a hammer swinging gently above all of their heads. Brooke is fully in silent concentration mode, staring out the window at the blurred streetlights of L.A., thinking about her paint for tomorrow. It’s got to make an impact but it’s also got to show them who she is, and –

“Ooops, sorry girl.” Vanjie elbows her as she tries to get her jacket off.

“It’s fine.” Brooke smiles, falls back into her thoughts. It’s not easy when Vanjie is as loud as a brass band right next to her, shouting into the backseat at a queen named Honey about some show they did together in New York.

The van turns a corner and Vanjie slides against Brooke, their shoulders pressed together tightly.

“Sorry, baby. I’m all up in your space. Honey, why you say that? You know that’s a damn lie!”

Brooke thinks about wigs. Short and blonde, maybe, really push the superhero couture. Or maybe bombshell, waves and – but that’s not really Detox. But it’s got to be -

“You sent me a message, you remember? After Season 10?”

It takes Brooke a moment to realize that Vanjie is talking to her.

“Oh. Yeah, I did.”

“I gotta thank you for that. I was feelin’ all sad and shit, feelin’ embarrassed. It meant somethin’ to hear from people.”

Brooke can remember watching that first episode, thinking Vanjie was hilarious and bizarre, feeling sick when she was the first one sent home. She remembers the voice more than anything, and it was surreal hearing it in the werkroom today. Still doesn’t feel like real life.

“If I knew you looked as fine as this, I mighta messaged you back.” Vanjie gives Brooke a slanted grin, and Brooke feels herself - horrifyingly - starting to blush. What is she, fucking thirteen? It has clearly been way too long since since she got laid.

“I’ll include some pics next time.”

“I am here. For. That.” Vanjie claps it out. “You can make up for it by sendin’ me some now.”

“You’ll have to wait until the show’s over and they give us our phones back.”

“I just gotta use my imagination. Y’all hold still.” Vanjie stares at her intently for a moment, and then blinks. “Click. There, real nice. I’ma throw a filter on it, give you cat ears or somethin’.”

“Whatever you want,” Brooke laughs. “Just don’t post it anywhere.”

“Vanjie could you like move over one fucking inch?” The skinny queen on the other side of Vanjie – who is… not Yvie - Scarlet, yes! Brooke’s brain hasn’t completely shut down – shoves into Vanjie, who in turn gets pressed up against Brooke once again.

“Hey, bitch, it ain’t my fault I got hips! Unlike some of y’all.” Vanjie glances at Brooke. “Sorry baby. Not tryin’ to get all up on you.”

She straightens up, but – and it might be Brooke’s imagination – she doesn’t seem to pull away as much as she did before. Her hip is still warm against Brooke’s, her bare arm against Brooke’s shoulder.

Brooke feels something internal stutter at the contact, like stones shifting somewhere underneath her ribs.)

He doesn’t look at his phone for two days.

The first call he returns is his sister’s (“Why didn’t you tell me things were that serious? Okay, I know what an NDA is but I’m your sister and you had your heart broken - no, mom’s fine about it, we’re just worried about you - well, you have to talk to someone, Brock -”)

The next person he talks to is Nina.

“Oh good, you’re still alive,” she says as she answers. “How does it feel to have broken the internet?”

“I - haven’t really looked.”

“Haven’t looked? At the internet? Just, in general?”

“I couldn’t yet. I’m going to, I just -”

“People are kinda freaking out about that episode. You’re going to have offers of marriage from like, governors and stuff. Tell them I’m single, by the way.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“No. And she’s not saying anything. Her PR team must be circling the wagons, coming up with a statement. Making sure this doesn’t look bad for her.”

That stops Brock’s heart for a moment. “Do you think it will?”

“Well, I mean, people love her. But they love you too. I’m sure her team just doesn’t want this to become about, you know, that bitch who broke Brooke Lynn’s heart.”

“Oh my God.” Is this what a heart attack feels like? Brock doesn’t know what else to say, can’t even fathom putting a sentence together. Fuck, fuck, fuck - everything is terrible and complicated and this episode just made it all so much worse.

“Brock,” Nina says gently. “I have to say - I didn’t know. That you were so serious about her. It was all shiny and fun, I thought, I didn’t know -”

“It’s okay,” Brock stops him quickly.

“But I’m sorry about it. Sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell me.”

“I -” And what can Brock possibly say to that? “I’m sorry about that too. About a lot of things. I was kind of out of control near the end there. You should have made it to the Top 4.”

“It’s okay, I’m just going to sit by the phone with my hair in curlers, waiting for AllStars to call. Oh God, what if they’re calling RIGHT NOW?”

Brock laughs, even though his eyes are hot with tears. “I’m sure they will.”

“So what are you going to do? You have to say something. Everyone’s -”

“No. It’s got to be up to her, she needs to decide how she wants it to go. We were supposed to figure this out but -” He starts coughing then, which is embarrassing but unsurprising. It lasts too long, and after he’s finished, Nina responds with a pointed silence.

“Sorry, sorry. Smoking too much.”

“I don’t want to seem critical or patronizing or anything but - it’s um, getting a little self-destructive. You know that right? This whole - thing.”

(“I’ll be around longer this time, bitch, believe it,” Vanessa is saying in the seat next to Brooke, too close and too warm. “Gonna show ‘em I’m not just a joke or nothin’. You best reserve this seat cuz I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

“Good,” Brooke says automatically. Then she stiffens slightly because that might have been - not the right thing to say. The word just came out of her mouth, she didn’t think about it and now she’s afraid to turn her head, afraid of what she’ll see if she looks at the queen beside her.

When she finally does, Vanessa is studying her. There’s an odd little furrow between her eyebrows.

“Yeah?” Her voice is quiet, barely audible in the chaos of the van.

And Brooke does something totally stupid, reckless and embarrassing but – fuck, there’s no controlling it.

“Yeah,” she says, then watches Vanjie smile all slow and pretty, like someone who’s just heard an awful secret.

“Huh.” Vanjie chews on her lower lip, and Brooke tries not to look anywhere near those teeth or that mouth. “Anyway, it – is – you know, whatever. Um.”

Vanjie’s the one who breaks eye contact first, looking down at hands that are clenched tight in her hoodie. “Lookin’ forward to getting’ to know you proper, and. Scarlet I swear to God you’re halfway on my lap, ho. I’ma kick you outta this van you don’t shove over.”

Brooke goes back to looking out windows, tells herself that this is not going to happen. Whatever that weird moment was, it was just a moment. Crumple it up like tissue and throw it away.

She’s not too worried about it, honestly. She doesn’t do that sort of thing much, doesn’t have the time for it. And she’s never dated another queen before, it’s not really her thing. Vanessa’s cute as hell, but both of them have too much to prove here and Brooke’s worked too hard to get here to be distracted by the first pair of dewy brown eyes she sees.

Brooke has walls around her heart, anyway, and no one gets past those. She’s not in any danger.

She wants that to be true.)

“So maybe. Stop it?” Nina says. “I don’t know.”

“I legitimately don’t deserve you.”

“Who does? Haven’t met him yet. Probably will soon, though, like on the set of AllStars 5. I’m coming for you, Drag Race romance. Oh shit, what if it’s the Vixen?”

“I’ve changed my mind. You’re the worst.”

“She’s a fighter, I’m a loverrrrr.”

“I’m going to hang up on you.”

“You say that, but you never do.”

When they eventually say goodbye to each other, Brock realizes he has three missed calls from his manager, and two passive aggressive emails. They want him to say something, make a statement, set the record straight. Reporters are calling for interviews (Christ, and they haven’t even see the reunion yet.)

Jose also hasn’t called or texted. Not once. And that’s fine. It makes sense. It’s fine.

Instead of doing the responsible, professional thing (he might need a new manager by the time this shit is finished) he dials a number his hands would recognize in the dark. There’s no answer. He contemplates hanging up (throwing his phone into the sea) but instead grinds his molars together and stays on the line. Waits for the beep.

“Hi, it’s uh Brooke. Brock. We should probably talk, hey? About - that. That thing that happened. Anyway, when you’re up for it, give me a call.” (Oh my God, I’m in love with him.) “Anyway. Hopefully - talk to you soon. Okay. Um. Bye.”

Brock waits for his heart to restart, waits for his jaw to unlock just enough to breath.

Then he goes on social media. It’s all a bit of a blur after that.

* * *

After the lip sync, Brooke doesn’t go home.

They move her to a different hotel in L.A. because she’s going to be back in a few days anyway for the reunion and the finale taping. She’s silent and robotic as she packs up her stuff, ratings poison.

She isn’t going to write anything on the mirror, but a producer basically won’t let her leave until she does and Brooke wants out of the werkroom so much she can barely breathe; she scrawls “My heart will go on,” barely legibly. Then she draws a little ship underwater.

She doesn’t read the letters the girls leave for her. Not at first.

She waits until she’s in her new hotel room, a couple drinks in to give her the necessary emotional buffer. The new room has more of a view than the last one, and she can see the ocean off of her balcony. Dusk is falling over L.A., smog mostly blocking out the sunset, and Brooke chain smokes (not good) and tries to meditate half-heartedly before she can bring herself to touch the folded papers.

In the end it doesn’t matter. Because Vanessa didn’t write one.

Brooke laughs out loud when she realizes it, and doesn’t recognize the sound of her voice. Of course Vanessa didn’t write her a letter. After an exit like that, what the hell was she supposed to say?

The days leading up to the reunion are like weights around her wrists and ankles. Brooke goes to the hotel gym for hours every day, and follows it up by jogging on the beach. She throws herself into everything physical, tries to exhaust her body so much that her mind will shut off. She can’t think about what she’s done. Can’t think about what’s going to happen. How it’s going to look.

And she hates that public perception is such a huge part of her concern, but fuck it, that’s how she makes her living. And now she has no control over it, can’t remember most of it, and is going to have to do some wild amounts of damage control when the season airs.

They send a van to drive her to the theatre for the filming of the reunion. She arrives late and rattled, but is relieved to see Nina and Plastique and a bunch of the other queens already in the dressing room, getting into drag. It feels good (for a moment) to be hugged and smiled at by people who don’t know how spectacularly Brooke Lynn just fucked up. She has to take these moments while she can, because God knows it’s all going to come out in a few hours.

Soju’s cyst is healing nicely, so there’s that.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Nina says to the mirror, as Brooke pins her wig in place. “I thought you’d be Top 4 for sure.”

“You and me both.” Brooke tries to smile, brush it off. “Hoped you’d be up there with me.”

“So what happened? Can you like, mime it or something? Was it all those burner phones of yours? All the strange men you were smuggling into your room at night?”

Brooke laughs but the sound is like ice-cracking. “I’ll let Ru tell you all about it.”

The Top 4 queens get dressed somewhere else, so Brooke doesn’t see Vanessa until they’re making their way onstage (she tilts slightly, almost falling but not quite.)

Vanessa is flanked by Silky and A’Keria, and she’s wearing that electric orange/red again, a cocktail gown with huge feathered shoulders, a high neck and no back. She looks the best she ever has on the show, and Brooke feels the ground sliding underneath her heels as Vanessa meets her eyes from across the stage and quickly looks away.

Brooke bumps into Ariel as they find their seats. She can’t stay upright.

“Welcome back ladies.” RuPaul takes the stage in a neon orange patterned suit, smiling brightly. Brooke thinks she’s smiling back, but she can’t be sure. Her face is not in control of itself when Vanjie’s in the room.

The reunion is a bit of a blur after that. But Brooke remembers the important parts.

[Transcript: RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 11: Reunited

Time stamp: 00:34:18

RuPaul Charles: Now, every year on Drag Race we know that the queens competing connect with each other in important and lasting ways. But this season, for the first time in Drag Race herstory, two queens had a very special kind of connection, right from the start. Let’s take a look at some footage of - what the kids are calling - ‘hashtag Branjie.’

[A compilation of Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s interactions is played. The queens onstage smile and ‘aww’ over particularly cute moments.]

RuPaul Charles: So Brooke. Vanjie. Did you two know each other before the show?

Vanessa Mateo: [pause] I’ve talked about this before, like, we didn’t know each other. He messaged me after Season 10 and I’d seen, you know, photos of him -

Shuga Cain: Girl, we’ve all seen those photos of him.

[Laughter]

Vanessa Mateo: But we never met or anything until we did the show.

RuPaul Charles: So the show brought you together?

Vanessa Mateo: [pause] I mean. Yeah, like you’re in this situation where you’re going so hard and there’s so much pressure, and then you meet someone and there’s this feelin’ - I don’t know. Someone make that make sense. Edit that.

RuPaul Charles: Brooke Lynn, what was it like for you? Was there a spark right away?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [does not respond]

RuPaul Charles: Brooke Lynn?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] Yes. There was.

RuPaul Charles: What was it like having that sort of chemistry but trying to balance the pressures of the show, the challenges, the runway…

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] Um. Difficult.

Vanessa Mateo: [pause] From the get-go, we said ‘we gotta keep this thing to the side.’ You know? Like it wasn’t gonna affect the competition.

RuPaul Charles: But ultimately it affected the competition in a big way, didn’t it? Let’s take a look at one of what is - I would argue - the most dramatic lip syncs in Drag Race history.

[The final moments of Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s lip sync is played. The queens on stage are visibly shocked.]

RuPaul Charles: Brooke Lynn, what was going through your head at that moment?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] I - don’t know.

RuPaul Charles: Well, it seems like at some point you made a decision to stop competing. And to many people you were considered one of the front-runners of the season. So what happened?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] I - I just stopped. [pause] I’m sorry, it’s my first time seeing it. It’s all a bit - I’m having trouble. Putting it together.

RuPaul Charles: I can see that. Vanessa, maybe you’ll have better luck. What was going through your head when Brooke stopped dancing?”

Vanessa Mateo: [pause] You know I - I didn’t want to see that. I didn’t know what she was doing at first, and then I realized - I don’t know. It wasn’t good, I tell you that. Not a good feeling.

RuPaul Charles: Why’s that?

Vanessa Mateo: It felt like maybe - she felt sorry for me? And I didn’t want that. I wanted to prove that I deserved to be here, you know, I didn’t want to be given nothing.

Brooke Lynn Hytes: No, it wasn’t like -

RuPaul Charles: Do you have something to say about that, Brooke?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] No. She should - say how she feels, sorry.

RuPaul Charles: You know, during the season there was a lot of discussion about your lack of personality, your being ‘closed off.’ How do you feel about those comments?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] I - don’t know.

RuPaul Charles: You don’t know, or you’re not going to talk about it?

Nina West: Brooke and I have known each other for years and I think that at this point it’s pretty obvious that she has a personality. People were kinda being hard on her, but being a quiet person, being shy or thoughtful is also a personality, and -

RuPaul Charles: I guess it’s just not one that’s particularly fun to watch.

Nina West: I don’t know, you get a bit of vodka in her, and it is extremely fun to watch. [laughter] Occasionally disturbing, frequently sexually confusing, but always fun.

RuPaul Charles: Brooke, do you agree with Nina? That people were too hard on you this season?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: No.

RuPaul Charles: Do you think you owe some of the other queens here an apology? Because I know you all worked really hard to be here, and then you chose -

Plastique Tiara: I don’t think Brooke owes us an apology.

Nina West: No. Absolutely not. She doesn’t. That’s -

Rajah O’Hara: I think she does. If she wanted to go home so bad she could’ve taken my place. She didn’t want to dance against Vanjie, fine, I would’ve. She should have sent her own self home Week One. That’s how I’m feeling.

Yvie Oddly: Girl, come on. That’s bullshit.

Rajah O’Hara: We all busted our asses to get here, we all of us have friends on this show, we have people we don’t wanna send home. But we do it anyway, and to see someone just throw it away pisses me off. It’s how I feel, I’m not gonna apologize for that.

Scarlet Envy: But props to Vanjie. I mean, whose dick do I have to suck to get into the Top 4?

[Vanessa Mateo gets up, takes off microphone.]

RuPaul Charles: Vanjie -

[Vanessa Mateo leaves the stage.]

Scarlet Envy: Oh my god - it was a joke.

Silky Nutmeg Ganache [standing up]: You want to come for my girl, you come for me too. Okay? She ain’t deserve that, that’s the fucking tea. That’s some shady ass -

Scarlet Envy: It was a joke!

RuPaul Charles: Silky, I know that emotions are running high but -

Silky Nutmeg Ganache: Nah, I’m serious -

Rajah O’Hara: Bitch, this ain’t about you!

[Brooke Lynn Hytes takes off her microphone. Brooke Lynn Hytes leaves the stage.]

RuPaul Charles: Well. Okay. [pause] Anyone else have somewhere to be?

[End transcription]

Brooke runs in the direction Vanessa left, through scattering P.A.s, over lighting cables and through the back stage area. She ends up in a hallway, sees Vanessa stomping it like it’s a runway down at the other end. Brooke hurries to catch up with her.

“We have to talk.” When Brooke touches her arm, Vanessa shrugs her off.

“No, we don’t.”

“Yes we do! I need to explain -”

“Explain what?” Vanessa looks up at Brooke and the hurt in her eyes is like lightning. “I came here wanting to show I was more than just a joke, that I was somethin’. And now that’s done. That shit that Rajah said back there, that shit Scarlet said, that’s what everyone’s gonna say! I’ma be the bitch who didn’t make Top Four on her own -”

“No. No one is going to think that -”

“They already do, Brooke!” Her hands are moving wildly. “You think I needed this? That you had to throw it for me?”

“No.” Brooke will swear to the grave that she never once thought that. That she went into that lip sync with no intentions and then in the moment - the moment she saw that fucking tear run down Vanjie’s face - everything stopped. “I know you could have done it, I’ve seen you dance and you’re fucking fierce. I’m the one that fucked up, I’m the one that made a choice -”

“You made the wrong choice!” Vanjie’s angry now, in a way Brooke hasn’t seen since Untucked. “I didn’t ask you to do that! I didn’t want you to do that!”

There is a camera person and a security guard moving silently down the hallway toward them, and Brooke cannot have this conversation be part of some reality show available to the fucking world. She takes Vanessa’s hand and pulls her around the corner, down another hallway and out of an emergency exit. The door slams shut behind them and they might be trapped outside in an alley for the foreseeable future, but at least they won’t be on camera.

“I’m sorry,” Brooke says. Vanessa has her arms folded. She looks smaller than usual, even in her three inch heels. “I’m so sorry. I know you didn’t ask for this. And I didn’t go on that stage with any sort of - plan, it just -”

“You felt sorry for me, right?”

“That’s not true -”

“That’s what it looks like, though. That’s what everyone is gonna think!”

“Let them think what the fuck they want then. Does it matter? You’ll know -”

“Does it matter? You say that to me - it’s my life, my life they’re gonna be talkin’ ‘bout! Me as a queen! My career - everything -”

“It’s my career too. It’s my whole life too,” Brooke’s voice is rising with frustration - frustration with the situation, with Vanessa - but most of all with herself. “I have friends, family, they’re going to see that episode and they’re going to be fucking furious at me for what I did. I worked hard to get here, I worked damn hard, and when people find out that I just gave up -”

“Am I supposed to feel bad for you now?”

“Well, I didn’t makethe Top 4.” Brooke regrets the words immediately (Vanjie’s eyebrows knit together and it’s the end of the fucking world.)

“So what do you want? A thank you card?” Vanjie’s hands are so tight on her arms that Brooke can see her acrylics leaving indents in her skin.

“No. Jesus. I just - don’t know how to fix this. Would you be any happier, would this all be okay if I had sent you home? Is that what you wanted?”

“So that’s what woulda happened, hey? That’s the only other option here?”

“No but – I don’t know what you want me to say! This was my dream, Vanessa. Okay? I’m still a little fucked up about it, and I don’t know -”

“I didn’t ask for your dream. I didn’t want it!” Vanessa wipes away a tear, and Brooke is taken violently back to that moment on the main stage right before everything fell apart. “You can’t put that on me.”

“I’m not putting it on you, I’m just trying to explain.”

“Explain why, then.” Vanjie pins her flat with her gaze, the way she did that first time she looked at Brooke across the werkroom (and every damn time since then.) “Why did you do it?”

A hundred thoughts go through Brooke’s head. A hundred moments between her and Vanessa: passing each other in hotel hallways, sliding folded letters under doors, kissing in shadows like they were starving for each other, could never get enough. Brooke opens her mouth and wants to scream these moments out of her chest, take them, take them, they hurt too much. She tries to put it into words. Tries to piece it together like a mosaic made of glass shards. She tries.

“We’re done,” Vanjie says quietly, and then her eyes squeeze shut.

(There is something howling beneath Brooke’s skin, a wounded animal.)

“Jose -”

“Nah, nah, I can’t - do this right now. You don’t even - we’re done.”

“Don’t -”

“It’s done.” Vanessa takes a step back. She doesn’t say anything else, just moves cautiously around Brooke until she gets to the door. It opens and Vanessa goes inside and she’s gone then. She’s gone. It’s done.

At some point, Brooke slides to the ground. She doesn’t know when, doesn’t feel herself moving, but she’s on the ground just the same.

At some point, she hears the door slam shut. She has no idea how long she’s been out there., maybe minutes, maybe days. When she finally looks up, she sees A’Keria Davenport leaning against the brick wall, single eyebrow raised.

“Everyone’s looking for you on the inside,” she says, “The pair of you sure know how to make a scene.”

Brooke doesn’t have the strength to respond.

“Mama Ru was not happy everyone leaving her set, no ma’am. Thought she was goin’ to flip her wig when you took off after Miss Vanessa.” A’Keria pauses, and then she laughs. It’s a wholly unexpected laugh, warm and without judgment. The pearl beading on her gown clicks together as she moves. “Next season probably no one’s gonna even show for the reunion. They’ll just all be off dealin’ with their drama somewhere.”

Brooke might laugh but then things might escalate, and any emotions are potential threats at this point.

“Shouldn’t be sittin’ on the ground in chiffon, girl. Show some respect.”

A’Keria offers Brooke her hand, and Brooke reluctantly lets herself be pulled to her feet. She dusts off her gown through sheer force of habit.

“You gonna come inside? Or you live here now?”

The thought of seeing anyone else is paralyzing. Brooke doesn’t know if she can manage it.

“Maybe – a few more minutes. Is Vanessa –“

“She and Silk are off somewhere, don’t you worry ‘bout it. We’re takin’ care of her.”

“I’m glad she has you.”

“She is a lucky bitch, that’s true enough.” A’Keria gives Brooke a gentle touch on the shoulder. “But you got people too, Miss Brooke. Don’t forget that.”

From somewhere on her incredibly ornate dress, some magical secret pocket, she produces a cigarette and a slim silver lighter.

“Shouldn’t be encouragin’ your nasty habits, but I thought you might need somethin’. And – when it comes to Vanjie –“

She looks thoughtful, the way she looks in the werkroom when she’s sewing, quiet and focused while Silky and Vanjie spout all manner of nonsense beside her. It strikes Brooke suddenly that of all the queens this season, A’Keria might be the one she knows least of all.

“You know, some people are better at gettin’ stepped on than gettin’ lifted up. See what I’m sayin’? You get stepped on enough, you start to think that’s how it goes. So when something good happens, like someone gives you somethin’ you didn’t even know you deserved - you don’t know what to do with that. It messes with that story in your head. The one that tells you what you’re worth.”

“I wasn’t trying to give her anything. I know she could have made it without me -”

“Girl, you really think I’m talking about the show?” A’Keria moves gracefully back toward the side door. “I’m sayin’ she ain’t mad at you. Not really. She just don’t know what to do with – all this. It can be a lot to hold.” She smiles, a bit sad. “I’m goin’ in. You take care now.”

Brooke thinks about A’Keria’s words long after she’s gone. She stays outside and smokes that cigarette down to the tips of her burning fingers and then steps on it, crushes it between the pavement and her heel. She counts to twenty-five, then thirty, then forty in her head.

She goes inside.

At the live finale, Brooke watches from the audience as Nina West is named Miss Congeniality, and Vanjie lip syncs for the crown.

Then she flies back to Nashville, alone. She feeds her cats, she works, she travels. She calls her mom, she jogs along Cumberland River, she dances at bars with men she doesn’t want.

She smokes too much, and doesn’t sleep enough.

She dreams.

She doesn’t see Vanessa for five months.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #angst #smut #canon compliant #eventual happy ending #elastic heart #mia ugly #concrit welcome #submission #s11 #on set fic

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rockybalfeatherboa · 7 years

Text

getting these mtl headcanons outta my system

This is a long ass post but these r some random metalocalypse hcs that I feel kinda strongly abt some r real silly ok here it goes

Aka me projecting

Toki - Enjoys activities like roller skating, weight lifting and boxing (that’s why he’s yknow fucken ripped) - Also enjoys model cars but not nearly as much as his beloved fighter planes - Thick brows - Hair is very thick and smooth (and,,pretty) but he doesn’t put a lot of work into is making the other guys kinda jealous - Sometimes shaves his legs below the knee but that’s it - Does shit like host teen choice awards and guest star on children’s tv shows BUT THEN acts surprised when kids love him,,,tf bitch this is ur fault - Absolutely loves physical affection he fuckin loves hugs and kisses!!!! - Prefers making out and titty groping groupies (and maybe a blowjob) over having sex with them .. but will still do it if he feels like he’s up to it - Kisses with his eyes open (and overall just real fuckin weird ok) - Keeps the video from Juliette sarmangsadandle in his nightstand he treasures it - Mostly writes his own keyboard parts for songs - Band thinks he’s hilarious when he doesn’t try to be but when he tries to tell jokes they don’t work ,, but he’s really funny in Norwegian it’s just the jokes don’t really translate too well so he just,,keeps it to himself - Pickles taught him how to smoke and now they like to chill and smoke together it’s like “their thing” - But he’s really picky about it he only smokes indica - (This is me projecting) Learned the phrase “if u feelin froggy then jump” and never stopped using it

Skwisgaar - shaves e v e r y t h i n g bc of 1) the aesthetics and 2) loves the way it feels - long lovely legs - huge fucken feet - has a klokateer pluck and tweeze his eyebrows them shits be on fleek - cries in secret at least once a day it’s become routine - He kept in touch with his Swedish gf for a while but then fell off and went back to hoeing #hoe4lyfe - Secretly wishes he can go back to wearing all white but he has to maintain brand recognition bc of the band - Wears very slight sweet smelling cologne behind his ears and wherever else cologne goes - Either eats a fuckton or not very much during the day,, keeping his metabolism on her toes - Guitar playing for him is like ultimate stress relief and also he fidgets with it he loves that thing - Has a book of various songs or riffs that he’s written on the guitar that dethklok will never ever use - Wears highlighter - Has run into one of his grown ass children in the bank one time and had to get the fuck out of there immediately,,they didn’t realize it was him tho - Puts his feet on nathan just to bother him - Great teeth / really conscientious about hygiene - Cold hands and oily skin type - He has a pretty good sense of rhythm but ,, he can’t dance he can’t dance for shit oh my god it’s a disaster to look at - “I look like I can’t cook… that’s accurate” - When he drinks wine he does that thing where he swirls it around like a bougie piece of shit - Lactose intolerant :/ - Talks with his hands a l o t it’s over dramatized and very fascinating to watch - Responds to compliments with “I know”

Murderface - closet gay* *gay but he grew up in such a homophobic environment so he tries to ignore it and pretty much force himself to be straight, explaining his constant trouble with women (Bc the attraction isn’t genuine ) and his fragile masculinity (so he’s always a “fellas is it gay to-“ or a “no homo” type of guy ),, his self esteem issues don’t help this out at all - big fuckin crush on skwisgaar (and skwis loves the attention) - sleeps with a retainer - hair is so dry,,,,,,please give this man some conditioner oh my god - knows pretty much everything about the civil war and the American revolution literally ask him anything he’s like a textbook - Somebody come get this man a pedicure - He has a lot of fans and they adore him it’s just that he’s oblivious to it,,, ppl love murderface!! - He’s not as ugly as he thinks he is or that people make him out to be, it’s just that people may think that only Bc the rest of Dethklok is so pretty. He kinda just ends up looking the worst by four-way comparison. It’s just a different type of look he has there’s nothing really wrong with his appearance - Imma go head and say it,,,he uses “y’all” - He and toki have actually made some decent songs for planet piss but it’s usually when they’re jamming out so they pretty much never get recorded 🤷🏽‍♀️ or remembered - He can move his dick voluntarily I mean I already knew that people with dicks can do this but murderface has like a whole new level of control with his - Got banned from Fintrolls bc he pissed in the olives but he just keeps coming back bc what are they gonna do? nothing - He takes his weapon/torture device collection very seriously like when u walk into his room u better not touch a damn thing or so help me -

Pickles - has nose piercings but doesn’t wear em - Small ear gauges - Strong toned legs especially shins and calves - Has not had a swig of h20 in 6 years but somehow has nice skin (a mystery) - Loathes Seth but absolutely a d o r e s the baby!!! He loves that damn baby and always appreciates when Seth or amber send pics or FaceTime call !! Fuckin uncle pickles!! - Helps toki compose his keyboard parts for songs (Bc he too can play the piano) - Kinda flexible but not as he used to be,,he used to be able to do a full split - Likes to bug Charles a lot bc they’re the closest in age , sometimes they hang they’re good buds - Watches shitty reality tv (bad girls club, LHHATL (it has to Atlanta), etc) as a guilty pleasure - Kind of an asshole but in a way that leaves u wanting more - Played basketball freshman year of highschool,, he was ass at it lmao - Idk how much this has to do with being a headcanon but if pickles was a vine he’d be “I said whoever threw that paper, ya moms a hoe” he just carries that energy - Smells like a light combination of weed and cologne it’s really nice - Will tell one of his band mates to go blow their nose if they’re sniffling too much

Nathan - doesn’t like it when people touch his hair without asking but HOWEVER if u ask before u do he’d probably say yes ,, just gotta warn him first damn - Hates hates h a t e s feet it’s like a weird squirmy phobia. He’s ok with his own feet and just *seeing* other peoples feet but let someone’s bare foot touch him and he’d probably black out tbh - Really socially awkward outside of his stage presence but I think we all knew this - Nathan’s really sweet he just ,, u gotta know him - Really emotional when he’s drunk - Secretly cussing out everyone in his head - He doesn’t completely dislike physical affection but he’s not crazy about it either - Also kisses with his eyes open (but unlike toki he’s trying to work on it) - Dad bod but we all knew this too - Slightly introverted ..he likes to party and shit but can only take that much social interaction for so long then it’s time for him to go home - Eyes are so striking and pretty oh my god it’s like they’re shining it’s all his gfs favorite thing about him - ,,,,,,,thicc - He’s one of those people that rip off their hangnails instead of cutting them 😖 - He can throw down on the grill goddamn why isn’t he in charge of snacks? - Knows how to suture a wound with some level of proficiency - He loves his parents he just hates how they embarrass the fuck out of him god leave me alone mom and dad! - This is ironic to the last thing but remember that video where it was like “son let me hear some of your music” “I don’t think you’d like it” “c’mon let me listen” and the song is just “I hate my dad I hate my dad I hate my dad” the whole time yea that was Nathan in high school - Strong arms (b,,beautiful) - As a kid he used to poke at roadkill for uhh entertainment - Used to be self conscious about his reading glasses but doesn’t gaf anymore - Severe case of resting bitch face he’ll literally be chillin but his face will be mean muggin but that’s just the way he looks - Tried PCP and ended up having to be chained to his bed betcha he’ll never smoke that shit again - likes crime investigation shows and serial killer documentaries - Will n e v e r refuse a fresh hot salted pretzel

#metalocalypse #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #toki wartooth #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf #headcanons #long post

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artchoface-blog · 7 years

Text

I met Junkrat’s voice actor and he was the coolest dude, damn!

TL;DR: If you ever get the chance to meet Chris Parson, DO IT. HE’S A PERFECTLY WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING.

Thought I’d just make a longish post about meeting Chris Parson, the voice of Junkrat (and many other characters). Because it really meant a lot to me.

I had no idea he would even be at MegaconTampa, the con I was selling at, until last minute when he tweeted that he was excited to attend it. And YO- as ya’ll know he’s like a unicorn~ rare sightings indeed!

Anywho, Got some photos, and autographs, I made it ‘rain’ for him, or so I joked. XD To be fair, he’s the only person (or thing) I spent any money on at the con because I was also selling there, and trying not to buy anything. I went to him Friday and bought a few autographs (For me and gifts for various ppl who weren't there) and a photo with him. ‘Cause who knows if I’ll get another chance!

Then later that day, I decided just his autograph wouldn't be enough for my best friend. So, I went back to him and asked if I could also get a video gift for @lockwayart as she unfortunately was out of town helping her Mom heal and get better. :< (Her Mom has been fighting hard to beat breast cancer a second time.) And I know how much Lock would have loved to have the chance just to meet him. She’d recently finally achieved Diamond with Junkrat on PS4 so, I thought a congrats message would be perfect!

I got to chat him up a bit as well and asked him a bunch of questions, such as why wasn't he at any cons and how come ‘we’ -fans- never see him anywhere online. (he has literally no presence anywhere). I don't wanna assume anything I have no idea about his life or if he’s more of a private person about personal stuffs! But, I also brought up this photo, as being like the only one I’d ever even seen him in, and he’s allllll the way in the back XD

What he told me that he worked a whole lot and he was also kinda a shy guy. In hindsight, this makes perfect sense. A lot of actors are introverts and they can use acting as a way to be more extrovert. :) He even said he knew what photo I was referring to and said that he had another job to do that day and was kinda rushing it all along lol. He said he came to MegaconTampa because he finally had a whole weekend off. O_O Dang!

So I thanked him for coming to the con and even told him how much it meant to be able just to come up to him and say ‘thank-you.’ It may not mean a lot to voice actors, I’m not sure, but it means a lot to us who connect with the characters they play. It can mean the world when you’re having a rough time of life, and are able to also have a great creative outlet. He was too sweet and so damn nice, he didn’t rush me off and I made sure there was no one else in line that I’d be holding up while I talked to him lol. But I shook his hand and then I was off.

Or so I thought, that night after giving the video to Lock and listening to how happy it made her while she was going through such a tough time I really wanted to go talk to him again. And get another video ahaha, as she couldn't be there in the flesh, I think it was way better to get video than just a photo or autograph. So I asked her what she would like to have him say if she could meet him and she gave me a line she’d love to hear him say to McCree.

Saturday I was working and busy busy so I wasn't able to go see him until Sunday again. My boothmate and I got our table all set up and then once the con started and we found it was off to a slow beginning I decided it was a good time to take leave before the afternoon when more people would arrive. I went over and waited in the line. Again I wanted to make sure no one was behind me so I didn't make anyone wait -I know how that can be to be kept waiting XD- so I told him that I wanted another video, he seemed surprised lol but was totally down! So then I got the second voice line for Lock :D I wrote the quote for him and everything because when I’m excited I talk too fast so ahaha;;; And I thanked him and mentioned off hand that it was for her again, then showed him the messages she’d sent me and told him that it meant a lot and he asked about her situation with her Mom.

So I told him about her having to leave to go back up to Ohio because she needed to help her Mom who’s breast cancer had returned. And then he freaked me out by saying “Can you call her up? Call her and tell her someone wants to talk to her, then let me talk to her?”

And I was like- ?!!?!?!!! YES! WHOA- YES I WILL. I was so nervous I was shaking with excitement! So I called and was like oh god please answer, because I know she has been exhausted and not sleeping much so I was scared she was still asleep at 11am. And when she picked up she was all groggy and I’m like “Hey, hey! Are you awake, wake up I need you to wake up for me! It’s important!” And she was all, “Huh? I’m...ok I’m awake.” Totally sounded half asleep still, lol poor Lock;; I say to her, “I have someone that wants to talk to you!”

So I hand my phone over to him and asdfghjkl; I wish I had a camera separate to also record it. He said in Junkrat’s voice, “Hey there, its Junkrat- how you feelin’ love?” And dude I freekin’ lost it! I legit had tears man!! I was freaking the freak out and I cannot imagine how Lock was taking it on the other end of that call-! I was just like, whoa my god he’s so dang nice man. Then he said some other stuff I cant recall because I was losing my shit trying to keep it together lol. I remember he did switch to his normal voice and was like “Hi its really Chris Parson, and I just I had to talk to you and tell you that I’m sorry you couldn't be here but I hope you’re well and you’re staying strong. Just try not to be stressed, live and laugh and laugh as much as you can because it’ll help okay?”

Dude, tearsssss I was wiping my face so much like, man. It had been a rough time for her the past few months and she just really needed something like this. Fuck he’s so great man! ;___; And after they were done talking he gave me the phone and I told her id call right back. And I thanked him so so soooo much again and then shook his hand again and said I’d be back later in the day for a last photo if that was okay. And he was like hell yeah and so I ran off to like clean my face hahaha. I couldn't stop laughing and smiling so stupidly the whole day. It��s been so long since I’ve had the pleasure of meeting someone so selfless and sweet like that. I was like, cloud 9 all day. I told anybody who crossed the booth to go talk to him, get autographs and photos and man I’m like, dude if I have to I’ll single-highhandedly fund you coming to this con I swear to god. I told all my artist buddies and they agreed that he was amazing and man I just- like, you ever just sit there and think “Shit. There are still nice people in the universe.”

Anyways so, the day flew by of course, I sadly wasn't able to make his panel a hour later as I was the only one at my booth- I do hope it went well tho! But before he left, I ran over when I had the chance to get my last photo, I wanted a fun one this time and not just a normal ‘two ppl awkwardly standing smiling photo’ like usual when ppl get pics with famous/celebs or what-have you hahaha, (plus that was our first pic I got ahahaha!) so we brain stormed for a bit when I told him I wanted a funny pic. We came up with standing under his name/sign and just gesturing like as if to say, ‘Who’s this asshole?’ He was such an amazing sport while he posed with me for it! WHOO!!! I got a couple nice ones but the last one that his helper took was my favorite because I just couldn't keep my own shrug/pose; I was just too happy and laughed! XD

So I’ll show ya’ll that one :P It meant a lot to me that he was so nice, I was also having a bit of a rough time, I’d had surgery earlier in the month, had to flee from hurricane Irma and right after coming home to no electricity, I got bronchitis and the flu while still recovering from the surgery lol. I know so many had it far worse and still do so I sucked it up but man, I super needed a good laugh at least! Which, I got =D

And now, I’ll end this huge blog post with saying that if you ever get the chance to meet him, please please do so! He’s a perfectly wonderful, amazing and great human being! :> Thanks so much again Chris Parson! <3

#chrisparson #chris parson #voiceactor #voice actor #junkrat #overwatch #blizzard #personal #blog entry

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datesfordummies · 8 years

Note

Just because 1-65 you don't need to do them all if you don't want to

challenge accepted.

but just remember, you asked for it.

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

yeahhhh #mountainman

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

not romantically but i do have a crazy deep amount of love for my friends and dog. does that count?

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?

3 months

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

I think I’ve gone along with things that I wasn’t totally a fan of for someone. Also, I’ve tried new things to impress someone else but lucky me I ended up liking those new things a lot

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

My last actually ex, we don’t talk. My most recent thing tho was a summer fling and we’re still friends!

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

not that I know of…

7: Have you ever cheated?

nope!

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?

probably not. like i’d have to really really really like them and know that they really really really liked me

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship?

being happy with each other

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious relationships. flings are just consolation prizes when college and summer camps and other such things limit the time together.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?

not really. unless maybe i would get it for like temporary long distance, ya know? like when we are in college we date, when we go home for holidays we go on a break. but idk, i’d have to trust them.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

just 1 :)

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

my first boyfriend i know nothing about. all we did was makeout and he was very pro-pda and i was not but i was not yet pro-speaking up for myself sooo i kinda got a reputation from that relationship that followed me all the way thru high school

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

i don’t know that there’s an age. like teens at least. but, when you are mature enough to talk about it with the actual sex words like penis and vagina without getting squeemish then you’re ready

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?

yeahhh #mountainman #14years…oops

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”?

nahhh, but lust yes

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?

yeah! love is 1. a choice 2. an emotions thing and emotions can be conveyed thru the internet (also god bless skype y’all)18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

mean to strangers and like employees/ wait staff. like just don’t be an asshole.

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?

i don’t have a set rule…i can just kinda sense a shift in the energy between us. is that too hippy-dippy bullshit of an answer??

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

nahhh #lookinatyamountainman

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

of course! i don’t see why not, given it was a mutual split. after sometime, come back and be buddies!

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

if they like their friends then yeahhh

23: How many relationships have you had?

really real relationships? 1

24: Do you think love can last forever?

since i strongly believe we choose to love people then yes, if you care enough to stick it out

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

i don’t see why not?

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?

nahhhh

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

communicate ya feelins!!!!28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

yeahhh, it takes work but if they’re worth it then yeahhhhhhhh

29: What do you notice first about another person?

hair usually

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

straight

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

nahhh

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

not romantically?

33: Do you want to get married one day?

it’s not a goal of mine. like i’m happy if i never do. i’m happy if i love someone enough and it feels right and i do.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed?

noooo don’t do itttt like love can last forever, but it could end in an unforseen break up sooo yeahhh nahhhh

tips from mountain man: only get name tattoos of your own kids or dead relatives.

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

yeahhh my sex drive is low af actually

36: Are you still a virgin?

depends on your definiton of sex. like i say i’m not bc i’ve recived oral but i’ve never even touched another person’s genitalia actually ((is this oversharing??))

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality?

personality!! i feel people start to look like how they act the more you get to know them

38: Do you enjoy love films?

yessss. my favorite is An American in Paris

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

i got a rose today from my friend! and sometimes i get them after plays that i’m in from my wonderful fam and buddies. and i have also given them to my buddies. never romantically tho.

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

nahhhh

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?

we take our dogs to the dog park (bc they’d have a dog let’s be real) then get tacos and smoothies and sit somewhere to watch the sunset

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?

yeahhhh #hamletisbetter43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?

friends are ride or die so…yeahhhh

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”?

i can be. i mean, you’ve all seen my blog sooo

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

my close friends no but like one of my side friends maybeee, i had a fling with one of them so yeahhh i would date him.

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”?

yeahhh but he’s like my dad now

just to clarify: not my actual dad. he’s just the dad of our friend group so we call him that.

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?

if the obamas don’t count then i’m not participating.

48: What’s your favorite love song?

That’s All by Nat King Cole i think

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

yeahhhh i still feel guilty to this day

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?

i keep comparing everyone i meet to a wonderful man who probably sees me as like a child #mountainadult

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy?

poor and a nice guy

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

nahhh the absolute worst, right guys???

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?

only when they’re like super duper cute like my friend’s bf just posted this really great pic of her on insta and said ‘just an appreciation post bc i’ve never been so happy’ and like when will i ever??

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?

not that important. like make it official in ur hearts don’t worry about fb.

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?

i don’t think so?

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship?

no?

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

i won’t say silly but also don’t do it because i love you and that’s just one of sooooo many eligible people who would love ya wayyy better

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?

i like balance but i’m probably more sub by nature like i’m super passive and like follow other’s flow

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?

i ALMOST forgot a birthday and ended up making brownies at like 3am the night before

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?

not for me but if it’s your thang and your partner is down then go for it!

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?

welll family is the og ride or die

62: How do you define “cheating”?

physically being/ go on a date with or attempting to be with another person when you are committed to someone else

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

nahhh

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?

nahhh, i’ve made it my self love day (although that’s kinda everyday for me)

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?

i used to hate it but it’s actually my job now like i go to people’s homes and cuddle with them as a form of therapy so yeahhh

thanks for asking and ya the real mvp if you read all of those!

anyone who wants to answer all or some do it! and tag me so i can know all of your secrets!

#i had fun #me #answered

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gatorfruit-moved · 6 years

Note

hey! do all the cute questions you want to do 💙

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

More cereal than milk, I don’t like drinking the cereal milk afterwards

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Hell yeah it makes me feel alive

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Hall passes

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Black or with raw honey for tea, sometimes a bit of sugar or creamer with coffee but I refuse to put milk in my tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Eh, I kinda like it tbh. I got the stupid crooked smile, it just looks bad in pics

6: do you keep plants?

I try but Ohio is the worst. I want to keep some succulents and cacti.

7: do you name your plants?

Occasionally, I had three succulents and one had a name, I think it was Via or something else with a v

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Mostly drawing but sometimes writing. If I’m feelin “free” I play really distorted guitar or bass and if I’m sad I can play a mean flute

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

I love singing in general man

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Equal between side and back even if I am restless, I cannot do stomach

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Nobody speaks Italian dipshit

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Uranus, no not because of anus jokes, it’s my dominant planet and it’s also just neat. I like saturn too.

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Playing donkey with a few people at GSA

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Lots of animals, 100% we would have two sphinxes and a snake, art and instruments everywhere

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

I don’t need to google it lmao, I took astronomy last semester. It’s a pretty basic one but Uranus is on its side

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli boiiiiiiiiiii

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I wanna try real dark blue

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

I mean Nick likes to quote me, “I drown my sorrows in latin pop”

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I keep a really inconsistent journal. It’s mostly writing but like three sketches are in it.

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

Brown, needs more love

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

My marching band sling bag which is fucked up and has been almost everywhere with me since the summer of 2016, its been covered in mud, burnt, almost shredded with a pocket knife, almost fell into the middle of a lake

22: are you a morning person?

Not at all

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

Play video games in the morning and wander around with Mack when he’s up for it

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Mack

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

I’ve broken into kiddie pools in the middle of the night multiple times

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

My grey street style converse

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Cinnamon bby

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

He’ll say something rude then immediately say “Sorry I love you”

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

God yeah, I don’t really remember the situation but I remember the feeling

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I don’t like socks but I refuse to wear tennis or dress shoes without them cuz of my nail phobia. The colors don’t matter unless I’m going to something formal. I cannot sleep with socks unless I’m freezing my ass off

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Mack and I couldn’t sleep during my birthday party and we decided to go check the pool times and got locked out of the room and the other two were asleep so we sat in the hall for about an hour

33: what’s your fave pastry?

Macarons, I love poffertjes but they aren’t really a pastry

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I still have Purple Kitty from when I was little, the fabric on him is tough af like why is he made of that

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I like a nice pen and stationary set with a wax seal too but I don’t use them often enough to own anything

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

I’m really neutral rn but I’m listening to blackbear

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

It’s not a matter of liking it but my room is really messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Misophonia a bitch man. I’m also really aggressive about it being zo-ology not zoo-ology, venomous not poisonous, saying snakes are slimy, shit like that

39: what color do you wear the most?

Pfft black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have Opa’s dog tags and the ring I got on Kelley’s Island

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

When the Moon Was Ours

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I don’t, I’ve only really been to Starbucks

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

It wasn’t stargazing but I did comment on the stars the other night with Audra, Nick, and Mack while they talked about how fucking cursed Falls is. The last real stargazing I did was with Kennedy this summer.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

The other day, it only lasted a little bit before Carson ruined it. Dove sounds are calming.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

No, I overanalyze everything

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’m really bad at puns oops. I don’t think it counts as a pun but one of my favorite jokes is people who don’t understand the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways that I cannot put into words.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Fucking green beans

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I mean I’ve always been afraid of chickens and had a nail phobia

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I like it but I haven’t for awhile. I honestly can’t remember it.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

Disney funkos but it isn’t that odd, I like the bat stuffed animals with the loops on the back

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Brown Eyed Girl and Crazy Little Thing Called Love for a girl that people I know irl will immediately recognize

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

Finally some good fucking food is a good one, absolute unit, Mine, sKINNY LEGEND

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I haven’t seen Heathers or Pulp Fiction but the others are Quality

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

Mack

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

I’ve chewed up a leaf to prove it wasn’t plastic, drank a cup of sweet and sour sauce, shoved a cucumber down my throat, a lot of weird shit

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

I like listening to people get excited over things

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

It makes me sad because of grief I’m not listening to it

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Nick is wine mom for all his tea. Mack is vodka aunt because we’re dumbasses together, we’re gonna be each others’ kids’ cool uncle.

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Honestly I have no fucking clue, Caeneus is neat

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I’m not a huge fan of poetry but I can appreciate it, Poe is a main mans

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

I like to give people bad sketches. I got a leaf once.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

I don’t usually have juice but if I do it’s orange

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

Oof I’m a huge mess

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Blue I think but I can’t get to a window rn

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

Micah or Uzii and Abbas

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

I like natural ones, I made a daisy and wild clover one that was almost perfect, it needed some kinda bigger flower

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

I like them a lot

68: what’s winter like where you live?

Freezing and comes out of nowhere, once I wore shorts and a tank top one day and my winter coat the next

69: what are your favorite board games?

I don’t really play board games but I like donkey, a card game

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

No, I usually watch my friends when they use one and laugh at them when they freak out

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

I like english breakfast and green, especially the kind they have at hibachi but it’s only available for restaurants

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

God yeah but I don’t do it.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

Biting my nails, retelling stories, there’s a lot more

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

A pseudo-skater, loved more than they think, supportive like nobody else, knows just how to make me feel better, possum kid, rat parent, this ungendered thing is difficult, angry, accidentally yells shit they shouldn’t

75: tell us about your pets!

I’ve got Petey, an anxious boston that’s going grey too early, Pete aka Little Bear, a frenchie that licks too much and looks like your stereotypical black french bulldog, Petunia aka Bug, a nutcase boston with a white face and black ears with a little bit of white on the ends, and Pig, a frenchie that likes biting noses with one floppy ear and bug eyes that doesn’t look like a dog. There’s also Dabb our uromastyx. I call him a scaly puppy because he is.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Finishing a final

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATE

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

It’s not really the kind of cute this means but I was upset, leaned on Mack, said I felt like shit, and he made me let him hug me normally without saying a word. I got a lot of good hugs during the cast dinner bc when I cry I don’t stop and everyone who looks at me cries. Damian prob was the cutest cuz he’s usually more reserved emotionally and was really wild but then he was quiet and sad.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Pink, teal, and purple. I hate it.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Oof I forget what his eyes look like oops. I knew someone with eyes the color of deep tunnels in that dark wet clay earth with flecks of gold and stripes like tree bark

82: are/were you good in school?

Ehhhh, I’m not good at turning things in

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

I like a lot of blackbear’s stuff

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

I have a lot of plans like the cadmium symbol, a cosmo, a calavera, a snake diagram, a hyena, a testosterone molecule

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

I read some stuff on webtoon like Darbi, Lackadaisy, and Lil Char and the Gang

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

I didn’t know that was a like a thing, I thought that was just how some albums are

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Coco damnit, also Stand By Me

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

I really love pop art

89: are you close to your parents?

I guess? They’ve just got personalities I don’t really like

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Pittsburgh babey!!!!! I love the hills and the style of houses and the energy of those people that bleed black and gold and the yinzers I can understand perfectly and the mountains that are so easy to get to and the art scene and the zoo and primantis and aaaaaaaaaah I love Pittsburgh.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

Pittsburgh and L.A. like always. Going to Disneyworld for a band trip spring break.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Only a tiny bit

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

Pompadour mohawk

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Oof most recent I think was my art teacher Miss Harry

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

Prom

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I procrastinate so bad dude

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ENTP, aquarius sun, gryffindor

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

A couple months ago I did the gorge for the first time. I haven’t gone on a good hike for awhile and it upsetting. I love hiking so much.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Blackbird, Here Comes the Sun, For Forever, This Is Home, there’s a fair amount

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? Why?

Go back five years and tell myself to not talk to A and to just accept myself earlier, it’ll life better, to join wrestling, to ask her out, to just do shit, stop hesitating. To talk to Mack, he’ll be one of the greatest people you’ll ever meet. Give Cadmium all the love you can. Tell Opa you love him and spend more time with him.

#long post #questions

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