#last year I started crying bc all the girls in the family got a little gift except for me

[lilyblisslys]

I think this is it, this is the day I snap and start biting people (negative)

[kdogreads]

Richie Jerimovich HCs that just have to come out of my brain include:

Mostly SFW but a pinch of steamy stuff bc of who I am as a person so MDNI 🤪🥵

He’s afraid to get married again

He thinks something about that paper and ring will make him slip back into his old ways and he’ll let you down just like he did Tiff. So you agreed early on that you wouldn’t get married.

Socially, you start using his last name after a couple of years. No one really questions you, either. Christmas cards are signed The Jerimovich Family; take out orders are usually placed under his last name; all of your socials have Jerimovich tacked on the end; when you inevitably have a baby or two, they take his last name and you use it too when they start school. Anyone who’s been around a while knows you aren’t married, but anyone new just assumed you are.

“Should you—do I call you my partner? Like, girlfriend sounds like we’re 16 or some shit. Maybe just my—my girl? Nah, that’s bad, too,” He stresses over the title, like it really matters all that much.

“Baby, it doesn’t matter to me,” You wrap your arms lovingly around his neck, “Pretty much everyone thinks I’m your wife anyway, so.”

“My pretty little pretend wife, huh? I like that.”

He wants more babies with you

Richie loves being a dad. He’s loved watching Eva thrive and every stage she grows into and out of, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss the squishy baby phase.

He’s a sucker for the cute onesies that say silly things or big teddy bear costumes they can toddle around in. He’s so attentive and preset and it makes you swoon.

“Hey Richie, I, uh, I was thinking about asking you something,” You start hesitantly, not sure where his mind will be on this, “And it’s totally fine if you say no or not yet or—“

“Out with it. You’re scarin’ me, baby,” He gently presses his warm palms to your cheeks, “What’s going’ on?”

“Well, just—what do you think about having a baby?” You speak as clearly as you can.

“A baby?” You can’t read his face and it makes your heart race.

You simply nod, holding in your anxiety. Before you can react, Richie scoops you up and throws you over his shoulder.

“Richie! What are you doing?” You screech, playfully swatting at his toned back.

“I’m putting a baby in you right now, sweetheart,” He smacks your behind sharply.

You do talk it over a little bit before you really start trying, but it is entirely possible that Richie did put a baby in your just then.

He’s so much more romantic than you thought he’d be

He’ll get you flowers on a random Tuesday because “They made me think of you, baby.”

And surprise with a delicious homemade dinner when he is somehow able to get home before you.

Or taking you to a cool new spot on his rare night off, having been invited by a local friend to try their new menu. He’s the classic, sticky sweet date that opens your car door for you and helps you with your coat and pulls out your chair for you to sit. Swoon.

If you have a little one, he’ll happily wear them strapped to his chest while you wonder through Target or a farmer’s market or museum. Dad Richie is the gooiest sweet partner, comfortably calming a crying baby or keeping them entertained so you can eat your meal or talk to friends.

He compliments you on everything

Like when you do the laundry he’ll say, “Damn, baby! How do you always fold my shirts so perfect?”

Or when you clean the house while he’s at work, “You keep a beautiful home, sweetheart. Can’t believe you let a dog like me in here.”

He kinda likes traditional gender roles (like you cleaning and cooking while he’s at work), but only so that he can brag about how good you are to him. Someone will compliment his suit and he’ll say, “My girl keeps me well-dressed.”

Or posting a cozy picture of the two of you to his 36 Instagram followers with the caption, “Before she got here this place was just an apartment but now it’s our home. Love you baby! #bigfanofher”

He loves how comfortable you are with Eva

Dating when you’re a parent can be nerve-wracking, but Richie knew right away you’d be an amazing person to be around his baby. You’ve never treated her like a step-child, but loved her like your own from the moment you met.

He gets so emotional when he sees you interacting with her so sweetly, like when Eva needs help with homework or asks you to help her with her hair. He’s just obsessed with his girls 🥹

This man gives and gives

He’s such a giver in all aspects of his life: carrying in all the groceries, starting the coffee in the morning, brushing the snow off your car so you don’t have to.

As far as the sex goes, this man loves making you squirm and whine below him, buries his face in you whenever he can, and pulls orgasms out of you like there’s no tomorrow, leaving you a whining, whimpering mess by the time he’s done 🥵

Sweet Richie just loves loving you and giving you everything he can 🫶❤️

[frozen-waters]

modern Marston family hcs please 🤲

I think of them every single day (this also turned into a lot of johnigail headcannons)

Modern Marston Family hcs

• Abigail is one of those moms who paints their baby bump as a pumpkin for Halloween

• John went through an emo phase when he was a high schooler. he also got a lot of stick’n’poke tattoos during that phase so he has randomly placed tattoos of wolfs and knifes and other things he thought was cool at the time. his hair was also longer then so he braided it a lot

• Abigail was in foster care when she was a kid but eventually got adopted by an older couple when she was like, eleven

• Abigail was a weird mix of a Lana Del Ray girl and a Katy Perry girl in high school

• John and Abigail met bc Arthur and John were walking Cooper and he got off the leash and he ran away so Arthur and John split up to look for him but Abigail ended up finding him and running into John first and they hit it off

• John will always continue to get stick’n’pokes so that means him and Abigail have each other a lot in the early stages of their relationship

• John only had like two girlfriends before Abigail and they didn’t last that long so when him and Abigail made out for the first time his little brain exploded

• Abigail worked at a gas station and would take smoke breaks but it was really her and John hanging out behind the gas station while he smoked (she’d smoke every once in a while but mostly it would just be him)

• Abigail got a second job as a waitress and John would go to the restaurant at least once a week and would order something expensive and just say to put it on Dutch’s tab and she’d stand there and giggle (Dutch was livid when he found out)

• John took Abigail to see a few horror movies in theaters bc he though she’d get scared and cling to him but she ended up liking them a lot more than he did

• Abigail took some of John’s shirts from his emo phase so now she has a few of those stupid wolf shirts and a few emo band shirts that she’s only ever listened to in John’s car

• John and Abigail “ran away” their first summer of being together -> they went on a little roadtrip and came back after a few weeks bc they were running out of money

• John tried teaching Abigail how to drive stick shift (Hosea had to take over for him bc John kept getting frustrated and John didn’t want Arthur around Abigail)

• John and Abigail would also smoke weed together once in a while

• John couldn’t hold a job when he was younger bc he either didn’t want to show up or would just forget so he’d often pawn things to get money but it went from small things like watches to bigger things like lawnmowers. the one time he got caught it was bc he was buying Abigail a designer bag for her birthday. so he got held in the police department and Miss Grimshaw gave him A Talk about how if he wanted to be good to Abigail, he had to actually had to get a job and keep it

• John did end up getting a job at a smoke shop and after his first few paychecks he took Abigail to a nice restaurant

• ok so Abigail was trying to go to community college but at the time she was getting ready to go she got pregnant with Jack

• Abigail and John did almost end up breaking up after they found out bc they got into a fight but after they cried together and talked to Miss Grimshaw they didn’t

• John was renting an apartment at the time Abigail got pregnant so she moved in with him a few months into her pregnancy. they both knew that eventually they’d have to get a bigger apartment once Jack started getting bigger

• they didn’t pay for daycare so they’d drop Jack off with Tilly or Arthur for a few hours while they worked

• Abigail did get hit with some depression for the first few years when Jack was born bc she was like 18/19, her and John were both working multiple jobs, Jack was a fussy baby and there were so many changes with her body and mind all at once. Ik she was crying when Jack cried bc she didn’t know what to do (in modern and canon)

• John did notice this ofc and tried to get advice from whoever he could. him and Abigail did get into a few fights during like the first year of Jacks life but he would try to take her out on a date night if he had the money and time

• Jack was like, a relatively happy kid. when he was younger, at least. like he had a few friends in pre-k and kindergarten through like fifth grade, but it was only three or four friends. they grew apart a little bit and one of them moved away and then after sixth grade they kind of stopped hanging out altogether. Abigail cried about it.

• I know deep down in my heart that John is a girl dad. I might be delusional abt it but it makes me giggle

• the first time John referred to Abigail as his wife she almost cried

• I think there’s a six year age-gap between Jack and his sister. I think they’d be closer in canon than they are in modern. they also were closer when they were younger

• also by the time Abigail was pregnant with their second kid they could barely afford the apartment so they bought a trailer. they weren’t really happy about it but it was better than being homeless

• but while Jack and his sister were young Abigail took as many pictures as she could and printed them all out and put them in a photo album

• by the time the Marston daughter was born John straightened out a bit more

• like John drinks and smokes in the house but he makes sure that the kids are fed and put to bed before he does

• John was a little bit drunk during one of Jacks birthday parties but he held it together mostly and played with Jack if his head didn’t hurt too bad

• John can’t chaperone field trips though bc he gets pissed off at the teachers

• Jacks first Halloween costume was a dog. Abigail was a cat and John just wore one of his old wolf shirts that barely fit him from his emo phase. they did the same thing for the Marston daughters first Halloween but she was also a cat

• I just know that when the Marston daughter lost her first tooth she was five and it was bc her and Jack were having a pillow fight that she started and he hit her in the face a little too hard and her tooth fell out (it was already loose but it scared both of them)

• John used to secretly really love reading to both the kids so they’d fall asleep and missed it more as they grew up

• and they do end up getting a small house for the four of them when Jack is twelve (like in the game) and that's also when John and Abigail officially get married

• John eventually did get a job at an auto shop but would do like. Uber Eats if he needed to

• Abigail was able to get online classes and gets a job in marketing or something but did make money by crocheting/knitting baby clothes and selling them on Etsy

• the Marston daughter had a biting problem

• she also did soccer in grade school but when she got to middle school and high school she did dog walking and babysitting

• Jack was like 🧍‍♂️shy in his teen years. he wanted to do clubs and stuff but he was just wicked anxious. he did do theater club but he was a stage hand. he was also in a book club for a little bit but the other kids in it were annoying.

• I also know his ass got bullied in middle school. he did get into like. one fight in high school that he somehow managed to win.

• he didn’t have a lot of friends. when some kids would try to talk to him he’d think they were gonna end up bullying him and just wouldn’t respond much to them

• he always ate his lunch in the hallway

• the Marston daughter also doesn’t have a lot of friends but she’s got like, two that’ve stuck with her since first grade. she gained one more when she went into middle school and an additional one in high school. Jack was a little jealous but he did begin hanging out with one of her friends older brother occasionally

• Abigail packed both her kids lunches but stopped for Jack when he was in high school bc he just started taking a bag of chips and like. a juice box with him to school. Abigail would still like to make him lunch but he has protested about it multiple times

• Jack always wanted a treehouse when he was a little kid

• it was Abigail's idea to get Rufus for Jack

• Jack still reads westerns

• the Marston daughter also got bullied in school but was mean back to the bullies

• Abigail doesn't have her own pajamas, she just takes Johns

• Jack got a job mowing his neighbors lawns

• John still gets a little lightheaded when Abigail wears a swimsuit

• when Abigail and John first got together he made a CD for her with a mix of their favorite songs and songs that reminded him of her and she somehow still has it but John cringes a little whenever she plays it

• John and Abigail didn't have a honeymoon immediately after they got married but went on one a few years later out to like, Italy or smthn

• the Marston daughter has a habit of over explaining things and Jack has a habit of explaining almost nothing ever

• Jack always has headphones on or earbuds in

• Jack took a creative writing class and it did help a little bit but he was very anxious for most of the class

• the Marston daughter still has her old Barbie dolls. she doesn't play with them but she just looks at them sometimes

• sometimes Jack and John will somehow fall asleep in the same room or watching tv together

• John did teach Jack to hunt

• Uncle doesn't move in with them in modern time but he does invite himself over for dinner a few times each week

• the Marston daughter inherited Johns emo clothes

• Abigail still kisses Jack on the cheek (she doesn't get why it's embarrassing) and rags him for being taller than her

uhm. sorry for writing an entire essay for this. but in conclusion : i am the thinker

[little-cereal-draws]

Goldilocks and the three bears crime family au

This au focuses on Baby and Goldi and is based off the part in Shrek 1 where we see the three bears in separate cages and then Mama later as a rug (rip you already know what happened to her)

The three bears got caught in Farquaad's fairytale purge and got separated. Crying in that cage was the last time Baby saw his parents. He's not sure what happened to them, but he got sold off to a circus bc everyone likes seeing baby animals do tricks, it makes good money. While he was there, he met a little orphan girl who was about his age in human years, five or six. She was also picked up because she made lots of money; she sold candy to people in the stands. No one wants to turn down a little girl!

They became fast friends. Goldi would wiggle between the bars of his cage at night and whisper stories of people she saw in the crowd and things she could remember of her parents. She liked telling stories about them. Baby didn't like to think about his parents, it made him cry, so he just made little quiet noises and pressed their heads together. They would fall asleep curled up around each other.

Fast forward several years, they're both preteens and have moved up in the circus. Baby learned english and Gold learned quite a bit of bear. She lost her baby face and was useless at selling treats now; she was going to get replaced but she begged to stay. Baby knew that she hated it there and was constantly thinking of ways to escape so it was obvious the only reason she stayed was for him. The ringmaster noticed their connection and put them in an act together. Goldi did flips and cartwheels on his back while they ran around the ring. They also came up with a plan where before and after shows, they would stand outside the tent and people could pay to pet Baby's nose. The idea was to save the money and strike out on their own when they had enough. They may have reached this goal a bit quicker than they should have due to many wallets falling victim to Goldi's sticky fingers.

Finally, sixteen years old, they decide today is the day. Their act has become much more complicated now and involves hoops and fire and all sorts of nail-biting objects. Halfway through the act, Goldi grabs a torch and announces they have had enough of being other's playthings and they're going to live their own lives. Baby rises up to his full height and with Goldi on his shoulders, they set fire to the tent. It's panic, it's mayhem, it's screaming and trampling crowds and bearing teeth and not being scared of whips or chains or anything else in the world. It's pure freedom. They run out off the circus grounds before anyone can properly stop them, laughing and cheering the whole way.

Here's where it starts to tie into the movie again (dw i didn't forget abt that lol) After the initial euphoria wore off, they decided to be professional criminals. They do a bunch of small scale stuff but they're pretty recognizable so it's hard to hit the same place twice. When they learn about the map to the wishing star, they absolutely must have it. It's at this point that they start to drift apart a bit. Goldi says they'll use the wish but secretly wants it to get her parents back. Baby is suspicious, she does talk about her parents more and more these days, but can't prove anything so he just goes with it.

Eventually, it gets revealed that Goldi wants the wish for herself and Baby is furious. They have a huge fight where so many hurtful things are said. Goldi accuses him of not caring about his family enough to try and find them. Baby says that it's because he cares so much, he doesn't want to learn what horrible fate befell them. He then says that Goldi shouldn't even bother with hers bc they clearly didn't love her, just abandoning her in the woods as a child. They both leave that fight in tears. Splitting up was discussed but honestly, they don't have anyone else in the world so they're both too scared to swing it alone. They keep going after the map but don't talk for days. After a while, there's an apology; a quiet one that is only half spoken because they both know what the other is thinking.

Ofc at the end, they help destroy the map and the star because Goldi's learned that she has all the family she needs right here and Baby's learned that maybe he should make some effort to find his parents. Who knows, they could be alive. He is. He tentatively asks Puss if he knows what happened to his parents, because he was also involved in the roundup, and Puss has to break the horrible news about his mom. There's lots of tears but frankly, Baby kind've suspected.

They go their separate ways from Team Friendship at the end and the idea of trying to find Baby's dad is briefly kicked around as they walk into the sunset. (Setting up a sequel lol)

[allergic-to-color]

A Very Merry Wenclair Family Christmas

DISCLAIMER!!! if y'all are looking for soft wenclair christmas content, you may be slightly disappointed... it started off as that, but at some point this literally just became me heavily projecting onto wednesday bc honestly the same thing happens to me during the holidays, it just gets to be too much and yeah- anyway enjoy fhdjfjfkdk

tw: ??

word count: ??

Christmastime, Wednesday's favorite time of the year. It was the last day of class before winter break, and the raven-haired girl was absolutely dreading it. Not that she didn't want to see her family, (although, perhaps that was also part of it.), but she was just getting used to being away from home for so long, and then there was Enid...

Normally, there should be decorations, the whole building lit up like a Christmas tree, but Weems couldn't be bothered to spend the school's budget on something that would only be taken down again in January, so she didn't really see the point in it. So the halls of Nevermore remained dark, and cold. As cold as Wednesday's mother's heart, she thought.

While everyone else was getting excited and ready to go home for a few weeks, there was Enid, alone, sitting on her bed next to a packed suitcase and trying not to have a full on breakdown after the phone call she'd just had with her mother. The pure rage she felt, while at the same time, a deep sadness washing over her, there wasn't a single person that could possibly understand her pain right now.

What was she going to do? She didn't have anywhere else to go. She thought that maybe, just maybe, her parents would accept her now that she'd finally transformed. But it didn't change a single thing. The Lycan felt absolutely shattered and nothing could make things better in the moment. Down the hall, Ms. Thornhill could hear the whimpers and cries from Enid, so she decided to investigate.

“G-Go away..” the blonde mumbled as she heard the woman's footsteps approaching the door. She thought it was Wednesday. Cautiously, Thornhill opened the door, making her way to the young girl's bed and having a seat on the end. “What's wrong, honey?” she asked in a soft tone, not wanting to startle her student. With a deep breath, Enid just mumbled out in a barely audible voice; “icantgohomeforchristmas”.

The woman was confused at first, but then it all clicked immediately after, and she just placed a comforting hand on Enid. “Did you wanna talk about it?” The girl sighed and shook her head, curling up with her blanket and crying some more. She cried her little heart out until it stopped hurting.

“I'll be right back, okay?” and she left the room, returning about 15 minutes later with Ms. Weems. The older woman had made a call to Wednesday's parents and made arrangements for Enid to spend the holidays with her family, which of course they were hesitant about — but knowing that Enid was her closest friend, they agreed.

Once the two women let Enid know the arrangements, now all that was left was to wait for the raven-haired girl to return and they'd be sent on their way.

Wednesday's POV:

“Thing. Help me with these bags.” I said as I opened the door to my dormitory, which wasn't something I was exactly looking forward to, seeing as it's Christmas time, and principal weems said that I couldn't stay at Nevermore for the holidays, since nobody would be here— to which I told her that I actually prefer it that way. Where was I? Oh. Right. Thing didn't move. Or 'say' anything, I honestly think that if he had the ability to, he'd be giving me the dirtiest look and rolling his eyes right at the command. Perhaps next time I should be more polite. But probably not.

It isn't until I take my headphones off that I even notice that Enid is sitting on her bed, she looks sad, (I think) and she's got company. My eyes widen and I take a step back as I realize it's my teacher, and principal. Acknowledging their presence with a nod, I wait for one of them to explain why they're here. They tell me that I'm being forced to take wolf girl home with me. I'm thrilled, really. I don't even waste my breath making an argument, as I've grown quite fond of Enid, and I don't really have any other choice.

Meanwhile, in the car on the way to the Addams family home....

Enid had somehow managed to sneak her hand over to Wednesday's and rested it there for the remainder of the car ride, unnoticed— or, if Wednesday had noticed, she just didn't say anything, and that's honestly what Enid was hoping. “Enid.” The girl muttered, staring down at their hands before staring back out the window. She wasn't usually one for small talk, so the rest of the trip was mostly silent after that....whether that was by choice or not, neither of the girls were really sure.

“Wednesday?” Enid tapped her friend on the shoulder and immediately she was startled awake, turning to the blonde and staring at her through hooded eyes, she hated being woken up... almost as much as she hated unprompted touches. “Sorry. It's just—” she pointed out the window as they approached a large, creepy looking mansion on a hill at the end of a long, winding driveway. It sort of reminded Enid of Nevermore. “Your house is so big...” she said with a smile and Wednesday just nodded.

If she was being honest, holidays weren't ideal for her. But, her parents were usually very understanding of her needs and things were kept lowkey. This Christmas, however, they would have a few unexpected visitors...

As soon as they pulled into the driveway, Wednesday had a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach, and it wasn't pleasant, but she sucked it up and put her headphones back on, so she could try and make it through the next few weeks with her sanity somewhat in tact. Morticia wasn't really a holiday person herself, either, but she couldn't pass up this opportunity to get to know the girl who her daughter had been getting close to over the last year or so. It was rare that Wednesday let anyone in, so you could imagine how her parents were feeling. Let's just say, those feelings were.....mixed.

In front of the house was all-black string lights, some leftover Halloween decorations, christmas-ified, nothing too colorful or bright, just how Wednesday liked it. Although, it did spook the young Lycan just a little bit.

Once they got up to the house, Lurch let the girls out of the car and helped with their bags, Morticia and Gomez were already waiting in the doorway, practically attached at the hip. Wednesday found this nauseating. “There's my little viper!” Gomez smiled as he greeted the raven, he wasn't too sure about the brightly colored girl next to her. They'd both met her, but it was only briefly, so they were hesitant about a stranger staying in their home. But they had always been open-minded, so they were willing to give her a chance. Besides, it wasn't like they'd be keeping her as a pet...

“Hello, darling.. welcome home.” Morticia's eyes scanned over her daughter and she noticed that she was acting strange, and not in the usual way. Not in the Addams way. “Oh, what is it, dear? has a cat got my little raven's tongue?” she spoke in a calming tone with genuine concern as she broke away from her husband, hands coming up to cup Wednesday's face. The girl just nodded and looked away, sighing.

Enid looked over, concerned about her and whimpered quietly. “Do you need anything? How can we help?” The older woman asked, but all Wednesday could do was shake her head ‘no’. The girl hated when she got this way, it made her feel weak, it was rare, but she hate it nevertheless. But her parents, and Enid were thankfully very patient with her, they knew it wasn't a choice, and she just needed to take some time to herself to recharge.

Wednesday's POV (again):

I don't know why this happened, earlier I was fine, but it's like my thoughts are racing, I just can't get them out. I wish I wasn't like this, but I know that I can't change it, I can only adapt. I'm just glad that Thing taught me sign language and I've learned to use that for simple communication when I cannot speak. I look forward to just spending the evening alone in my bedroom. But then I look up, and see that my Uncle, cousin Itt, and my grandmother (who I honestly didn't even know was still alive at this point.). Great. They're all here for the holidays... yay... I sigh deeply and march straight up to my bedroom.

No surprise, Enid's following right behind me like some sad little pup. She's the only person who I think I can tolerate right now, she doesn't always know how to help, or what to say— but honestly I'm just.....appreciative of her support.. I don't know if she knows that, I don't exactly know how to express that, but I hope she does know.

a few days later...

It'd been a few days since Wednesday had said a single word, the stress and sensory overload were too much to handle. God, she hated this. Everyone was getting ready for Christmas and having conversations and being together, but she couldn't bring herself to take part, she just wished she could be with Enid alone and watch Christmas movies with her. She hated them, but she loved making fun of horrible movies and they were honestly worse than horror movies to her. Enid was the complete opposite.

The Lycan knew to keep her distance unless she was specifically asked for, she was mostly quiet other than to ask if Wednesday needed anything. This wasn't exactly how either of them planned for this break to go, but they honestly just enjoyed each other's company, Enid was Wednesday's comfort person. Whether she made that known or not. “Hey, Wedn—” The blonde finally broke the days-long silence, the raven girl just glared at her, annoyed. “........Yeah.” It was more of a statement than a question, she wasn't really up for conversation just yet, forcing even the simple response felt like climbing mount everest. “Sorry. I know you're struggling, it's just— I wanted to say , Merry Christmas. I'm really glad you let me stay with you all this time, I don't want to be an annoyance, but yeah. I hope I'm not. Sorry.” Enid sighed, grabbing a gift from beside her side of the bed and handed it to the raven. “ what's this. ” wednesday looked up at her best friend , skeptical. “just open it, you silly! I promise you will like it. I hope so, anyway.” the lycan beamed at her, studying her every move and subtle changes in expression, anxious to see what she thought about her present.

to be continued because I keep forgetting about this and it's been a while since I wrote it 😭 merry christmas tho djdjsjfjsjdj. edit: totally did not mean to leave this on a cliffhanger besties my bad I will try to get a part 2 out within the next week or so 🖤

[lnc2]

.

okay so my best friend pre-asked (unofficially, she said to forget so she could officially ask me later) if i would be her moh and i started crying (not to her just to myself, it was over text in a casual conversation as we discussed the planning for later this year). i wasn't sure if she would want me or someone who lives closer to her or if she'd think i was too sick to do it and it just means the world to me that people i love also love me i feel like such a failure most of the time or i get in my head about how little i've been able to do and be the last few years since i got sick but yeah idk i've been really down the last couple weeks bc i had a few good days but then crashed and haven't been able to read or answer messages to catch up with my life (as an aside i realized i needed new glasses and expect my energy level to pick back up when my new prescription comes in and i'm not fighting my eyes all the time which contributes to my brain fog and also i've had like eleven doctors appts and ofc i'm worn out please be nicer to yourself girl) and i felt v low and this just lifted me sm. i wasn't expecting it and was telling myself not to be hurt if it were otherwise for the above mentioned reasons bc that wouldn't mean she would love me any less but idk i'm not making sense it's just we've been friends since high school and roommates in college and close even when living across the country from each other and while i have a couple people who i consider my best friends/family and i could never choose or rank them she and i are consistently on the same wave length and have always just clicked and when things are good or weird or bad she's usually the first person i message and it just means the world to me that we're still close and i love my friends so much and i'm so grateful they want me around but i'm especially thankful that someone who has literally seen me at my worst self still thinks i'm good and worth it and the best and just yeah

[woundworship]

what do all of ur tags mean? :)

hi! sorry it took me so long to answer this. unfortunately, i suck

most of them are quotes or lyrics and most of them refer to concepts and motifs im obsessed with. i intend on having a tag for each of my fav characters and maybe someday i will, but i literally only have one for abigail hobbs. lmao. here they are:

and all the fears you hold so dear - my abigail tag. its from duvet, by bôa, and idk... it just suits her, i guess.

your feelings and mine are all holy - lesbian tag. what can i say? im a lesbian and to me, lesbian love IS holy. its from another bôa song, twilight.

at seventeen i started to starve myself - girlhood tag! i dont really know how to explain my choice for this tag, it just... fits. women starving themselves noth literally and metaphorically i guess? anyway. hunger by fatm.

if you could only see the beast you made of me - a tag for fathers. i will not be taking comment or speculation regarding my relationship with my father or my psychological state at the moment, thank you. howl is one of my favorite fatm songs, and i do have a lot of those.

you'll be sorry that you messed with me - this isnt really a religion tag; its more of a christianity tag. i am a pagan and actually very very religious, i just hate christianity. and god. its a lyric from florence's girls against god, a song that makes me cry if i think about the lyrics too much.

do i look moderate to you? - my tag for love. romantic love, that is. in an obsessed freak way. its the last of my tags thats a florence lyric, and this one is from moderation (another favorite).

someday you will ache like i ache - finally, a hole lyric! the first of well. a lot to come. this is my trauma tag, because i am a loser, and its from doll parts, because its a great song.

dog bait - also from doll parts, this is my werewolf tag

i fit right in your perfect skin - my tag for everything medical <3 i love that lyric and... yeah. medical shit Does fit right into your perfect skin. anyway, thats from reasons to be beautiful

was she asking for it? - just my deer tag. its from asking for it, and... i dont know, sometimes a girl is just feeling a little bit like a deer for once in her life ok

traditional inherited predispositional - runs in the family by amanda palmer. this one is for family stuff and its very much on the nose, just like all my other tags.

to carry on through cartilage and fluid - my last song lyric tag, from desert song by mcr. its just my death tag :)

just love me and eat - i love this quote so fucking much i got it tattooed on my chest last year. anyway, its from bones and all, and its the tag i use for romantic cannibalism (bc Yes, it IS important enough to be separated from the romance and the cannibalism tag, ok?)

to be eaten raw - started as my cannibalism tag, today its a catch all for cannibalism, gore and meat. is it me telling you its supposed to be eaten raw? is it musing about how it must be to be eaten raw? eh, i dont know. its not really that important though is it

thats most of them. the rest are self explanatory, but i do tag a few posts with 🧟 when i want them to go to my brother's tag (though mostly i just send them anything i want him to see)

not sure youre even gonna see this now thats been what, 6 months? but i hope your curiosity is sated <333

[taegularities]

I’m writing this for Rid 10 minutes after reading CMI 11 omg how dare Rid to play with my feelings like this 😭 I have so many favourite moments in this chapter okay lets go —

1. JK calling her baby constantly “Baby, babe, my baby, angel” yes im so weak for this shit🤯

2. Girlfriend - Boyfriend 🥳🥳🥳 fucking finally!!!

3. So so so proud of my baby oc standing up to her mum!! Bring it on! Though i hope down the story that they’ll reconcile!! Just like what cmi jk said, i think deep down her parents do love her. Its not just enough or maybe shown in different ways. Even parents and children irl have different love languages. But I want this to happen for them. I know they are at peace but having both their families by their side as they go through their relationship will be so reassuring and special ❤️

4. Mama Jeon 🥹 I feel like oc will get the love and comfort she craves from a mother from JK’s mum 😭 i already love her character!! And when Jk called her “Mama” I FREAKIN SWOONED

5. My favourite part of all this madness was the pregnancy scare. JK looking for her all over and his panic state, crying and his line “I’m gonna kill someone if I don’t find her..” oh my heart broke because he just wants to know she’s okay and she’s safe. It is sad truly that his first thought was he fucked up, when he didn’t. If I were JK, I would think its oc who did something wrong but I’m not wired like cmi JK, i have evil thoughts and trust issues 😐🤣

6. When oc said “You’ll leave me, because you’ll be mad.” I just wanna hug her so bad :( the trauma of people leaving and her experience of jk leaving her the first time 😭😭😭 my heart broke for the both of them tbh :((

7. I understand oc’s fear. Things are just looking up in both their careers and they are only starting their relationship. Not saying a baby is unwanted and will jeopardise what they have atm, but the arrival of a little one will surely change some things. BUT I WANT A LITTLE ONE SOON! A mini oc to give jk a heart attack 😌😌

8. The way jk reassured her - how you wrote jk seeing her face and he just rushed to her and hugged her without knowing what the heck was going on. 😢

9. “You’re not gonna leave me, right?” Yes this line again 😭😭

10. Eun as usual, BEST GIRL FRIEND AWARDEE OF THE YEAR 🍾🍾

11. “I love you.” “I love you, angel. Saying this isn’t enough, and I can’t word it anyhow else, but. I love you… I love you, fuck.” ENOUGH SAID. I said enough. 🥹🥹🥹🥹

We finally got the Gf-bf conversation and the I Love You!!! God knows how long I pestered Rid to finally give this to us!! Wohoo wohoo!! Week is complete!! Rid you’re the best ❤️ My favourite chapter yet. No kidding, my heart was beating so fast towards the end! Also the chapter beginning in smut?? Hello!! GIMME!!! 😋🙊

Rid i freaking love you. Mwah 💋

I said what I said, you’re not going anywhere! We’ll keep you here ❤️

the way i'd been looking for this ask bc it wouldn't show up and finally found it in my inbox on mobile 🤣 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR INCREDIBLY KIND WORDS.

now that they're warming up to that relationship (and have finally made the status of it official 🥺), she'll be hearing so many petnames from him!!! the baby and angel ones will always give me heart palpitations, but also munchkin.. </3 and yes!! we are the proudest!! she's inspiring bc she had the courage to do what a lot of people can't. and i want to hug her for standing up for herself and trying to make herself happy. but reconciliation, you say? that'd be wonderful, of course 🥺

EEHEHEHE mama jeon is the sweetest and we will definitely see more of her (and him calling her that 🤭). the ending was my favourite as well! from the moment he started looking for her till the very last sentence.. i cried a lot writing it :') so i'm super happy you enjoyed that bit, too!! oc worrying all the time, i know 😭 she needs the tightest hug!!! but yeah, her worries were why she didn't want to go home, like she was so terrified he might leave or make her leave bc yeah, they're young and as you said... a child would change a lot. but at least now she knows he'll be by her side, no matter what <3

ENOUGH SAID INDEED 🗣️ i know a lot of people were waiting for this and i really hope i put it into words well. it was such an important one. so so thrilled you loved this chapter (and that it's even become your favourite? AHHHH!!), and i appreciate your feedback so much 😭 hope you enjoy the next one just as much. i love you, and.. yes ahhh do keep me here hehe 🥹🤍

[mimbotomy]

First lines

Tagged by the wonderful @aeide, who included first lines for both their published fics and their unposted WIPs. Y’all would be scrolling for years if I did both bc I have too many fics and WIPs so I’m just going to do the unpublished fics that I’ve worked on the last three months - and you’re still going to be scrolling a lot 😬 I’m sorry!

In the Shadow of Zeus: Kassandra’s years on Kephallonia, as seen from multiple perspectives. This probably won’t end up being the first chapter but the second, but it’s the first chronological snippet I have written.

“Alright, rub a little bit of dirt on your face,” Markos says as their first target comes into sight, “Not too much, just enough to make your tears more obvious. You sure you can cry on command?”

As she has the last two times he’s asked, Kassandra rolls her eyes at him and starts to rub some dust on her cheeks with a surprising lack of complaining for a girl who grew up in relative luxury. Or so he’s assuming, judging from the little he’s been able to figure out about his new ward, as she refuses to talk about anything that led to her washing up on that beach.

But with her Peloponnesian accent and that broken spear that barely leaves her side, he thinks it’s fair to say she’s got Spartan blood in her. Her family had money or power or both too, saying she can read and write better than he can. And for all that she’s only seven, she has some semblance of manners and grace that he’s only seen in the wealthy Achaians he used to serve before he bought his freedom.

If he had to guess, her father was a decently high ranking Spartan officer stationed in Achaia or Elis. Maybe even as far south as Arkadia, depending on how far north that storm managed to take her. And judging from the nightmares Kassandra has had every night for the last ten days, he’s dead, along with her mother and her brother.

Worse, he’s pretty sure Kassandra watched them die.

A Flap of an Eagle’s Wings: my second Odyssey time travel fix it, bc I have a problem, except in this one Kassandra comes back earlier, saves Alexios, and then fucks up the canon timeline with the help of a couple others who came back with her 😳

In the ruins of Atlantis, Kassandra closes her eyes and finally, finally, falls into the long awaited, welcome embrace of Death.

“Earth, mother of all, I greet you.”

There is a crack of thunder that shakes the earth and a strange pressure on her wrist as her body becomes weightless. Thanatos, perhaps, personally escorting her to face the wrath of the King of the Underworld.

She is not afraid though. She had been young and brash and foolish when she last faced Hades and still she had held him at her mercy and stolen his crown as a final insult before Poseidon whisked her away to Atlantis. And she is far more powerful now.

Then there is another rolling crack of thunder, the world goes white behind her closed eyes, and a bond that has been broken for almost two thousand years snaps back into place as she is thrown from Mount Taygetos a second time.

She opens Ikaros’ eyes to see the horror in Nikolaos’, the way he lurches forward as if to try and catch her and the way his face fills with grief when his hand grabs nothing but air. She watches her mother scream her name and nearly throw herself off the mountain after her, only to be stopped by Nikolaos and the other Spartans.

The last thing she sees before Ikaros forces her back to herself is the fury in Myrrine’s eyes as she steals her husband’s sword from his waist and lunges for his throat.

Untitled Alkibiades Time Loop fic: this idea came to me in like a fever dream or something and basically Alkibiades is stuck in a time loop of the day Phoibe and Perikles die trying to save them both. I have about 40/50 at least vaguely planned out and this is loop 7 as of now, the earliest chronologically written.

“Allie,” Kassandra sighs, her brows unfurrowing as she leans back onto the kline. She’s not much older than him to begin with, but she looks even younger as her brows unfurl. Softer. “You know I love you, but I barely have the time to sit right now, let alone - ”

“Phoibe and Perikles will die today.”

Confusion. Grief. Confusion again. Suspicion. He watches Kassandra’s face cycle through a thousand emotions in a second, before she settles on unfathomable rage. Quicker than he can blink, her spear is in her hand and her eyes are full of fire and it’s impossible not to see why so many call her a demigod.

“Start explaining. Now.”

Begin, Muse, When the Two First Broke and Clashed: Deimos’ thoughts, maybe chapter two will be Kassandra’s, at the Battle of Pylos. Aka a small snippet that I just haven’t been able to finish yet for some reason

Sparta has no walls. Sparta has no walls.

According to Pausanias’ foolish boasts, Sparta has no need of walls to protect her people as Athens does. Sparta’s walls are her people, every man from twenty to sixty, born and bred to die defending Lakonia from invaders.

They should build a fucking wall.

Deimos will admit that the Spartans are better trained than the Athenians that fight under his command, but to compare the two is to compare a rat to a mouse. A rat will fight for its life more viciously than a mouse will, a rat will bite harder to try and escape than a mouse will, and a rat will die just as easily as a mouse will.

These Spartans fall to him just as easily as every other man he’s ever faced.

Perhaps his so-called sister will prove to be more of a challenge for him. Otykos trained him the moment he could hold a sword in his hand and she killed him. The Monger had been a monster of a man and she had killed him. Deianeira and her cousin had been deadly for mere mortals and she had killed them. And she tears through his men as easily as he tears through the Spartans. He’d almost find it impressive, but . . . Rats and mice.

Untitled Depressing one shot: inspired by a comment on my HPxOdyssey crossover, this fic is about Barnabas and Herodotos trying to figure out what happened to Kassandra when she doesn’t come back from Atlantis.

They wait three days before they begin to worry.

Kassandra had told them she didn’t know how long her adventure in Atlantis would take when she left them. Aletheia hadn’t been very forthcoming on the details, she had complained, but she had promised them she’d be back soon as she hugged them goodbye. And since soon can mean anything from a few minutes to a few days when Kassandra says she'll be back soon, they had tried not to worry until the third day.

Herodotos finally drags him away when he tries to claw open those cursed doors to Atlantis with his bare hands, tearing his fingers to bloody shreds after he breaks half the swords and javelins on the Adrestia trying to pry those fucking doors open.

Cage the Songbird: a little inspired by the Elton John song of the same name, this is the fic I write when I’m in the middle of a depressive episode, about the last few months before Elpidios’ birth. Featuring a fling gone wrong, one sided Kassandra/Natakas, past Kassandra/Brasidas, Alexios and Kassandra learning how to be siblings without wanting to kill each other, and Barnabas and Herodotos being the best dads.

Natakas wakes up in the bed he made for two, alone, as he has every day for months now. It still hurts.

His father is awake already, sharpening his blade and occasionally stirring a pot of something meaty. He greets him with a warm smile, “Good morning, Natakas. Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, father. Is Kassandra up yet?”

Darius’ smile falls a little as he jerks his head up towards the roof. Kassandra has a hammock tucked away in a small corner in their home, but most nights she sleeps on the roof, on a thick mattress her captain brought her a month ago.

Natakas hates that mattress. He hates that it’s only big enough for her, he hates that it’s softer than the bed he made for the both of them to share, and he hates that when Barnabas brought it, the old man once again tried to convince her to go back to Sparta.

Untitled Alternate POVs: Because the Children of Kephallonia is written entirely from Kassandra’s perspective, something I’m not used to doing, I’m also rewriting parts of the fic from other POVs to help me better figure out the plot, characters, relationships, etc. Just for me right now, but I’ll probably post it on AO3 or my hypothetical patreon someday.

Brasidas has been sitting and half watching the Monger’s warehouse for the last hour or so. Just watching, unfortunately, because as much as he would like to rescue the captives held behind smuggled goods, he is only one man.

Hopefully, he’ll have collected enough information on the guards and their daily routines to bring five or so of his men and raid the warehouse within the week. He can’t afford to let the Monger run wild much longer.

He makes a note that the guard at the dock closest to him switches with a guard at the warehouse door and scrapes the last bit of food from his plate. When he looks back up, the guard at the dock is gone.

Strange.

For a moment, Brasidas wonders if the dock guard just walked a little further down he thought, but then he sees movement at the far end of the dock, a little bit east from where the first guard vanished. Someone comes out of the water and pulls a guard down in the span of seconds, before both disappear entirely.

Indiana Jones and the Staff of Hermes Trismegistus: aka I watched Indiana Jones 5 and have only one braincell and it’s dedicated to loving Kassandra. Also, I wanted to write her killing Nazis 🤷‍♀️

Immortality.

He’s not surprised that’s what the Nazis are after, again. What does surprise him is that they’re not going after something from Judeo-Christian tradition, again. But after their quests for the Ark of the Covenant, the Lance of Longinus, and the Holy Grail all ended with a bunch of dead Nazis and an increasingly enraged fuhrer, perhaps he shouldn’t be so surprised that they’ve decided to look for something even more ancient.

But the Staff of Hermes Trismegistus? Or all the myths to sink their hopes in, they’ve chosen one that the world knows nothing about?

As always, I’m tagging @auroralykos and @aetosavros and anyone else who wants to do this!

[eenochian]

not to family-post on main…… so i’m putting it under a cut lol (it’s also just long af bc i needed to rant)

but, today is my father’s birthday. 53 years on this planet and he’s probably about to have the most miserable birthday of his life.

the dumbass cheated on his wife. three marriages and he’s managed to ruin every last one with cheating (amongst other things). no idea when she found out, but it was sometime after the 14th, at least. she’s already moved out of their house and is going to rent it to him since she owns it, apparently. i was woken up yesterday (it’s 8:08 am as of me posting this, i haven’t slept) with the news.

my father’s soon-to-be ex wife had my mom blocked throughout her entire relationship with my father. we knew he was feeding her some bullshit lies about my mom and what actually happened between them. he told his wife that my mom was turning my brother and i “against him” and making us hate his wife. meanwhile, my mom was practically begging my dad to introduce her to his wife, because she wanted to meet the woman who would be spending time around her children.

even before i was born, my father was just a disappointment… cheated on my mom while she was pregnant with my brother and claimed he was “feeling depressed and unwanted” whilst my mom was suffering from a cocktail of issues, was always unemployed or under-employed, cheated while she was pregnant with me, then couldn’t be assed to take care of his children while my mom was working and going to college full-time. she had to pay for daycare despite the asshole being unemployed.

she left him a couple weeks before i turned 4, i think. i don’t remember it very well cause i was so young, but i remember him yelling and punching the door she was standing in front of. broke his hand. she rightfully called him an idiot. my family laughs about it now, but i used to call him “my trince” – it was supposed to be “prince,” but i couldn’t say it properly y’know. my mom told me that he started crying because i looked at him and said “you’re not my trince anymore” lol. broke his heart, i guess.

the spring before i turned 6, my mom, brother, her boyfriend at the time, and i all moved from california to texas. my dad stayed in cali. my brother and i visited him for a week during the summer when i was 7, but that’s the only time we saw him until shortly before i turned 11.

we talked on the phone to keep in touch. i don’t remember how often we talked, i think weekly, but i do remember sprinting to the phone and feeling so giddy whenever he called… i just wanted to talk his ears off for hours, my father almost felt like a novelty throughout my childhood. i learned earlier this year that my mom often had to force him to call and talk to us.

i remember the day he moved out to texas. the beginning of my 6th grade year, i was about a month away from turning 11. my brother and i were talking to our mom, she said someone special was stopping by. the sun had already gone down, but it wasn’t too late in the night. we guessed our dad, she said we were wrong. she was lying, obviously, and we learned that after we got a knock on the door and my father was standing on the other side.

i remember crying. hugging him so tight. thinking that finally, finally i’d have my father in my life. instead of being a novelty, he’d just be there. he was living close by, too.

my mom’s then-boyfriend (the same one from when we moved) was horrible. he was an abusive, loud, mean, all-around ugly man. i had it the easiest since i was the youngest. i don’t remember much from him, just a lot of yelling. so, so, so much yelling. him standing over me, being the 6-foot 300-something pound guy he was, taking joy in making a little girl scared of him. he never put his hands on me, but the intimidation was enough.

i still can’t handle a man raising his voice or even getting angry around me. my stepdad knows about the trauma my mom, brother, and i share. my mom easily had it the worst. i still sometimes refuse to acknowledge that i have trauma, even after being told by my mom and brother that i do. the first time my stepdad got angry and raised his voice – he was trying to install a transition slip on crooked floors because my mom and i kept cutting our feet on the edge of the carpet, got frustrated, slammed his hammer down and yelled – i was standing in the kitchen a few feet away….. i left my breakfast in the microwave and pretty much ran to my room.

i didn’t know why i started crying and struggling to breathe while talking to my brother until my mom came in a few minutes later. it was the first time she said the words “you have trauma” to me. she told me the next day that my stepdad cried after they went to bed because he felt so awful over scaring me. we joke about it now, but it’s been 3 years and he still feels horrible whenever we talk about it. i feel bad that he feels bad. my mom says we’re both silly.

back to the main point, though…. my mom finally managed to kick that bastard out shortly after i turned 11. it was midnight on a school night. my brother ended up climbing into my bed because i was crying from listening to all the yelling. her ex tried coming into our bedroom after my mom came in to grab something of his that we had in our closet. i remember watching her fight to hold that door closed and keep him out as he tried to talk to us.

she called my dad to come guard our door while she finished packing up all his stuff and throwing it out. my dad managed to do a 20-minute drive in, like, 10 minutes. maybe less, i can’t remember, but it was fast. her ex tried picking a fight with my dad, things nearly got physical, but my dad stayed right in front of our door. he had work the next day, but he still rushed over to keep us safe.

he was in my life a decent amount after that. we’d spend weekends with him, i’d text him daily, he’d take me and my brother to the movies, out to dinner, we’d play games and sing our lungs out in the car together.

he also dated over 20 women in a single year. he introduced us to at least a quarter of them and insisted that every single one was “the one.” he’d ignore us for the sake of whatever woman he was with. then, he’d come crawling back once the relationship inevitably fell apart. he told my mom that he could pay child support or “have money to spend time with the kids” – meanwhile, he’s always made more money than her. he couldn’t put us on his health insurance because it was “too expensive,” meanwhile my mom was working two jobs (in secret, she never told us about the second job until after she lost it) and making herself sick just trying to take care of us.

when i was 14, he had to move back to california because of his work. i thought him crying while telling us was proof that he cared… until i found out that he wasn’t going to tell us at all. he told our mom, but didn’t want to tell my brother and i until he was about to move. my mom had to threaten to tell us herself if he didn’t do it.

he visited around christmas. he was engaged to a woman he barely knew who happened to live in the same state. my brother and i thought he was there to see us. turns out, all he wanted to do was see her. my mom had to force him to spend time with us. i didn’t know this until years later.

after that engagement fell through and he managed to move back to texas… he met his current wife. he was also living even closer, in the same fucking apartment complex as us. the happy feeling over him being so close didn’t last. his wife (then-girlfriend) was…. nice. we tried not to get attached because we thought it wouldn’t last, like usual. i think i was 15 or 16 at the time.

we ended up moving in with my stepdad, who lived about 45 minutes away. my dad ended up moving in with his wife. we lived an hour away from him, i think. we stopped seeing him as often because the problems only continued to grow. his wife only encouraged him and blindly took his side in everything, too.

about 2 weeks before my 18th birthday. my father took my brother and i to the movies. he brought up how close my birthday was and asked if we wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate. we said yes, of course. he asked if his wife could come, since they had just gotten married about a week ago. i said yes, of course. i didn’t mind sharing the celebration. i remember excitedly telling my mom about it the second we got home.

a couple days before my birthday, my father texts to confirm the plans…… suddenly, we aren’t celebrating my birthday. no, no, the dinner was to celebrate their marriage and my father’s new office, and it “just so happened” that my birthday was around the same time, so we were celebrating that, too. he denied it when we said the whole dinner was planned because of my birthday, even though my whole household remembered it being that way. i cancelled the plans.

my cat got really sick right after my birthday. it was just a stomach bug that she recovered from within a day after taking her to the vet and getting her rehydrated (plus some appetite stimulants), but we thought for a minute that it might be her time. it was the first time i had to face the thought of death. my father tried to make new plans and, when i told him that we didn’t want to leave her even though we knew she was okay, he didn’t care. zero empathy. we never made any plans after that.

i think i’ve only seen him once since that movie. august 2021. he stopped by to drop something off for my brother earlier this year, stayed for a few minutes to talk to us. we hugged, i cried after he left.

my phone’s been having issues for some months now. it can’t charge properly. my mom and stepdad bought me a wireless charger that fixed that issue, but when my brother and i messaged our father about getting new phones (since my bro was also having issues with his), my father decided to say no and accuse us of only coming to him for money.

mind you, paying for our phones and making sure we had working phones was literally the last promise he made to us. he never paid child support, so he and my mom worked out a deal. he pays her car insurance until she has a paid off car, he pays for my bro’s and my phones, she forgives the rest of the several thousand dollars he owes her. he took her car on the first say of my senior year of high school. he refuses to get us new phones unless we pay for it.

i’m aware of how spoiled i sound. my phone works just fine, even if it is slower and has a broken charging point. my issue isn’t with that… it’s just the fact that he’s managed to break every. single. promise. he’s ever made to us. not a single one has been kept. not one. my mom told him she’d take care of it and us, like she always has. he’s just paying for the insurance until we get new phones atp.

i sent him a message pouring my heart out. a lot of it was pent-up anger from years of trying and trying, giving him chance after chance, and getting zero results. he read the message and didn’t respond. a couple days later, i sent him another. i just felt defeated at that point. i begged and begged him to finally care, and what do i get in response?

“I understand what you’re saying. Things are not always as they seem. Maybe one day we can sit down and truly listen and understand each other but it won’t be in a text. I love you no matter what you might think or feel.”

right. yeah. “maybe one day” AKA “when i feel like dealing with this” which is never. i cry and beg him to change… and his response is to say that MAYBE one day we’ll deal with it. and he moved on. my first message was 1,623 words. my second was 784. and i got jack shit in return.

it doesn’t matter what i say or do. he’s destroyed my self-confidence. he’s the source of my insane abandonment and attachment issues. i’m convinced no man will ever love me because of him – if my own father can’t, then why would anyone else? i get so stressed out and worried that it makes me sick; my family thinks i have ulcers, and he’s the #1 trigger of them. i’ve had panic attacks over him. i’ve thrown up from it. my mom said my depression getting so much worse is probably linked to him.

and, despite all the bullshit…. i’m still staring at my phone debating on texting him happy birthday. wondering if i should reach out and console him over the marriage he destroyed. i don’t want him to be alone, even if it is his own doing. i’m terrified of something happening to him. what if he has a health issue or injury and needs someone to call 911? what if he’s depressed? what if it gets so bad that he kills himself? what if he keels over and dies tomorrow? what if, what if, what if… it’s all i can think about.

my family says me worrying over him despite it all just means i’m a good person. their primary concern if my father taking advantage of me – of my kindness and my concern for him. my brother has him blocked, he’s not giving our father any more chances. i know i shouldn’t. he’ll just throw me away once he finds another woman, which he probably already has, considering he cheated on his wife in the first place. he has that habit; messaging other women when he senses a relationship going south or gets bored. moving on before it’s even over so he doesn’t have to face loneliness.

i don’t know how to feel. my dad’s wife reached out to my mom to clear the air and apologize. my brother celebrated the split with his friends. my stepdad said it was deserved. i agree, but……. i just can’t stop worrying. about everything. i wish i could. my father doesn’t deserve the tears i’m still shedding, or the lump and bile building in my throat, or the tightness in my chest, or the space in my thoughts… i hate it. i don’t know what to do anymore.

[eggs-can-draw]

First, I bring the sneak peek

this master post is being made by a person who has a monster energy drink cans hung above their bed as a pride flag (the 8 colors version), I get to make it an eyesore (would make anything rainbow if given the opportunity to do so)

I am going for chronological events over chronological posting, definitely not done adding subcategories there, I know The Horrors will include Live Parents Reaction section and the alt ch 3 section. Speaking of which. I have an oumatsu question, I mentioned in the tags while reblogging the fic you wrote for Shuichi and Kokichi. Or more like multiple, is the alt ch 3 canon to the AU timeline or is it a what if? In the fic that I will be writing, would you rather I be evil and made their confession during a very emotional (crying & more crying & hugging) ch3 moment or be nice and do it after Kokichi wakes up in a soft kind of tender moment with a proper conversation (the Shuichi plan) they're going to have either way happening as part of the confession? Unrelated question, but did you reblog the outfit kitties just bc they're cute or are you doing the drawing meme? I just think Raspberry has Kaede vibes all over it, Kokichi would look good in Lilly Pilly Berry and Shuichi could match them in being pink as Strawberry or Pine berry, but like, I already visualized them in my head so no pressure if you weren't going to be taking requests on that. If I could get one request of them, I'd rather get this one I've had since last night, it's something I am going to put in the fic so it'd be an illustration basically.

post-game cuddle pile, Kokichi's old cat (10 years old at this point) sleeps above their heads, Kokichi himself is sprawled on top of the two of them, basically on Shuichi, would be listening to his heartbeat if they weren't asleep, but with an arm and a leg thrown over Kaede, who's snuggled up to Shuichi's side, it's Summer and they're in a sunbeam, so the blanket is nearly fully kicked of, tangled between their legs. They weren't supposed to have that sleepover, but Shuichi had a nightmare and when they checked on the groupchatTM after he calmed down it turned out Kaede was awake too, so they texted her to come over, knowing that none of them would be able to go back to sleep on their own.

It doesn't have to be today or under this ask, if you don't have time for drawing when you see it, I need answers for questions more.

Last bit: them playing house as kids and having all those weird ideas about what a normal family is like because as little kids they have no idea their parents are... pretty unique. Only in funny ways, tho. Like, I just imagined that as opposed to Kokichi's mind blown Kaede's reaction to polyamory was just like "that's how things are, I am going to have that in my future" and she makes a drawing of that future, explaining it to Mikan "this is my husband A, cooking dinner, and this is my husband B cleaning, and I am on tour playing piano like a girlboss", M: Hmm... A girlboss? Did Monaca teach you that word? K: Yes, when I learned playing that pop song to make an original TikTok soundtrack for her last week, it's not a bad word right? M: It's not, but... what song? K: Uhhh, the Boss... girl song. Or like "So which one of you is the one that gets a lobotomy?" type beat

Phwoof this is a biggun get ready for WORMS

YOOOOOO THATS SUPER COOL DUDE!! I like how organized it is that’s so fucking dope my dude <- (is going to be thinking about this for the next few hours)

QUESTION TIME:

✨ The alt ch3 is canon it scratches my brain too much

✨HONESTLY EITHER WOULD PROBABLY MAKE EMOTIONAL

✨ honestly it was a mix of both lol, cute fruity kittties and if anyone wants I can draw fruity blorbos lol

✨ALSO IVE GOT YOUR REQUESTS SCREENSHOTTED AND ILL GET TO THEM ASAP (which means I’ll probably thumbnail it during work and get started after work lol)

ALSO ALSO I LOVE THEM HAVING DIFFERENT TAKES ON WHAT A “NORMAL” FAMILY IS LMAO. I kinda like the thought of Kokichi’s polyamory realization being that you can just have more than one parent lol

They’re silly funky

[aeroplaneblues]

Alright! its time for top anime of 2022 list🎉

This year I didn't watched that many however I did found some good ones! 2 of those are recurring shows which I try to avoid, as this might be used as a rec list, but I like them that much!

the tldr; is on twitter

10- Vampire in the garden: this one was on netflix which I guess is why it didn't get that much attention, i like the concept and visuals were very nice its a bittersweet end but I quite enjoyed. 09- Raven of the inner palace: the story is interesting, its starts very monster of the week style with ghosts then moves to a main villain, the relationships between the MC and the rest of the cast is honestly the highlight. My only complain is pronunciation of the names are jp localized so I hope this gets a chinese dub. 08- Gundam: the witch of mercury: the last gundam i watched was wing and do not remember anything but i know its reputation, I gave this one a chance because the designs are really fun and I also went in with the idea that it was yuri bait. TURNS OUT this might not be what I was expecting, there is one more ep of this + the rest of the cour so I'm hoping it improves from here. The characters carry this for me even the background ones, they all feel like characters not props! Plus ZERO GRAVITY HUGS!! 07- Mob psycho 100 III: I know this list is numbered but I love all of these equally ! However, this in comparison with s1 and s2 is one of the weakest, maybe bc it had to close loose ends? idk but its still a good one, the moment I cry was with ekubo more than reigen i know i know but reigen had his moment in s2 and I think that hit harder. Time to read the manga! 06- My dress-up darling: this is ecchi, im saying this first bc if people barely tolerate bnha fanservice this is not for you. I usually avoid this but I was dumb and didn't saw the tag😂 and I got attached to the main characters and the story, I read the manga and the ecchi is very far and far between as the story progresses. I think it has a lot of heart and its quite fun love story, plus you learn so much about cosplaying! 05- Sasaki and miyano: cutest bl I've ever watched/read, sasaki reminds me of childe which I find it so funny I can't unsee it. Miyano isn't your uwu protagonist and their relationship is build sloooowly on a lot of love and respect. Its nice to see this type of bl without its usual uh nonsense. 04- The case study of vanitas II: the thing about this second season is that i didn't know if bones was going to adapt everything, the manga updates at shoujo pace and has had rough months of absence HOWEVER it was all adapted, like a month after the last ch came out we saw that ep which is the wildest thing for me tbh. Anyway that last ep is why this is here, it was the BEST fight scene ending like [SPOILERS] watch it, it was amazing. 03- Chainsaw man: yeah i know ofc this is here, this is one of the best adaptations I've ever watched, it is beyond perfect. Several episodes I felt like I was watching a movie, can't rec it enough it even has its own mads mikkelsen inspired character voiced by the same va of the other mads mikkelsen inspired character from my other fave show. Also love the detail how mappa draws shoes as fujimoto draws them. 02- Spy x family: this is another good adaptation, I started reading this manga in 2019?? And I kept thinking how GOOD of a story it was and it was a shame so little attention it got, but now with the anime its got the much deserved attention. I adore it immensely, here is hoping for a continuous success.

01- Bocchi the rock: THIS is at the top bc of how relatable it is for me and what a nice surprise to know its actually a good anime. I was expecting it to be another "cute girls do cute things" like "do it yourself" from this year and I wasn't wrong its just that it has a little more depth than that. All the girls have good and bad traits, goals and obstacles to overcome so the story focuses on that with their collective goal of playing music. As someone with social anxiety that lean on rock/playing guitar to make friends and not succeeding on that front I want to see bocchi accomplish her goals, its cathartic like that. Also the animator are truly having fun with the different styles of animating the jokes which is always a treat to watch.

If you got it to this part, thank you so much for reading! If you give any of this a chance and like them let me know! I love talking about anime as you can see haha. I hope next year the season isn't as dry mid way so I get to watch more!

Happy New Year!!🎉

[justalia]

okayyy so i’m boutta just vent tbh and i’m asking for advice. i’ve been a little lost so i might ask other accs lol. basically i’m 17 and i was in a relationship with this kid for a year. we were on and off but we never broke up for more than a week. i knew abt the law of assumption so i used that to my advantage everytime we broke up. this time when we broke up in april it didn’t work…. i learned from sammy that all you have to do is affirm and persist and i did that all the time. well now it’s may and lemme tell you, i don’t have that man 😐. now that we’ve been broken up he’s actually been a whore. yk that is my fault bc that was definitely my assumption. i told myself he’s a whore and he’s gonna be one and that he doesn’t care which showed up in my 3d. he had volleyball season and he asked for girls snaps and literally went to six flags with one of this girls. then he constantly is being a whore, flirting with girls who i hate (and he knows) 24/7. i applied states to this once because i see them every single day in class and it worked but then 10 minutes later it was different. i’ve been in a relationship before him too and i definitely want a boyfriend but idk if i should go with him again. if i don’t choose to manifest him again, i want that man obsessed with me for the rest of his life… i’m genuinely such a possessive and jealous person and he knows that bc he is too so the stuff he’s done….if we got back together i would need him on his knees crying and begging for me back. dude has me blocked rn tho…and you guys recommend to go straight to the end. but i want that man crying like a little baby apologizing at my house with flowers and shit. like would that still happen if i went straight to the end of me and him getting back together? idk if i want to manifest him or my dream dream man. i think i’m still attached. i just want him to apologize and shit and then after revise all of it. he’s always been a good bf tbh so this rly all started to happen once i assumed he didn’t gaf. but that man gave me princess treatment. and i love his family and his home. and he’s always being cute and taking me out and stuff but after all that he’s doneeeee??? idk. either way i still want him to be sobbing on his knees telling me how miserable he is without me but can that really happen if i just go straight to the end? bc i don’t see him as the type to cry. he only started acting like a bitch once we broke up. i see him as the person with a bunch of ego. and i’m using the distraction technique.

girl-

if you want a relationship w that man you need to forgive him for what he has done OUTSIDE of the relationship BASED ON YOUR ASSUMPTIONS!!! how the fuck can you be so mad at him when you recognize he is only acting like that bc you assumed he would? how is that his fault? why are you mad he’s simply enjoying his single life instead of being miserable for the breakup when you literally decided that’s how he was gonna act? makes no sense if you ask me. you can’t desire an healthy relationship and want the person to be miserable for you just bc they are not as sad as you over the breakup (bc you assumed it) 💀

you’re the only one deciding your 3D hasn’t changed by taking it as fact and looking at it through your state of lack. if you say you switched state and saw movement right away and then got mad bc you didn’t get more were you really in the state of the wish fulfilled?? be honest w yourself. you can approach this manifestation by going to the end only after you have let out all your feelings of jealousy and resentment towards him, if you truly want a relationship w him and want it to last you need to forgive that man bc he was only acting according to your assumption. that’s all other people are able to do, mirror your assumptions.

you can decide to manifest your dream man by deciding his traits and giving them to your sp, you still seeing your sp as not your dream partner is keeping you tied to your current circumstances and not allowing him to show up in the way you want him to. again other people are just messangers of your assumptions.

you’re imagining to get instead of just imagining to be. imagination is the only reality and all you will ever be able to experience. your sp could come back right the fuck now and according to your current state you probably wouldn’t even believe a word coming out from his mouth and would dismiss him. bc again we are only ever experiencing imagination.

if you love someone why would you want him to cry? bc you are miserable over this and he isn’t? why would that be his fault? if you want to manifest him do it, if you prefer to move on do it but remember: other people are just reflecting your assumptions.

[milomaxxy]

So, last year, my family was in a shelter until we could get into a home. It was a families-only shelter, so you had to have a child or children to stay. We made friends with a few families while there; we were entirely new to the area so it was an opportunity to make friends in a place where we didn't know anyone. Our (then 3 year old) toddler made friends with a whole bunch of kids, especially a family with 4 kids in her age range. One day I noticed she acted different with one of the girls, and it hit me.

She acted exactly like I did with my first crush. She wasn't just friendly with her like other kids. Our kiddo is autistic asf, so most of her interactions with other kids is mirroring their play and maybe giving them snacks if she really likes them. She would go out of her way to find gifts for this girl, would let her watch videos (we had kids videos on a spare phone for her) with her (something she would have a meltdown if other kids tried to do), would dance with her, actually hugged her (something else she doesn't do unless she knows somebody very well), and more. She would ask every morning when this little girl would be coming outside so they could play together, even before asking about breakfast.

I mentioned it to my spouse, and we were joking about her first crush. The little girl's mom heard, and AGREED WITH US bc her little girl was doing the EXACT SAME THING. She picked out a nightgown, a winter coat, and a hoodie for my toddler. They'd lay together on the little trampoline in the yard, snuggled together, watching videos and eating snacks. And other people caught wind of the joke (that we weren't so certain was a joke at this point) and got in on it too. The other toddler's older sister even asked my kiddo at one point if she wanted to "kiss (other kid) like your parents kiss". Basically asking if she wants to kiss on the cheek or peck on the lips, and omg my child's reaction made me cry actual tears of joy.

My child's eyes lit up and she grinned. An important detail is that my toddler was absolutely obsessed with Bluey at the time and quoted it literally every minute of the day. It was so often that other people thought she was adopted bc she had the accent down to a fucking t. She says "for real life?" in her Bingo voice, jumping up and down. We all are melting at this point, just fawning over her reaction.

That family ended up moving away a month or so later, and fortunately my kiddo was able to say goodbye to all the other kids before they left. I bawled that morning bc her "girlfriend" as they'd started calling each other Drew a smiley face on her coat. When she does outgrow it, I plan on keeping it for her bc it's a gift from "her first girlfriend".

Those few months were so healing for my inner-child. My parents would have never been okay with me having a crush on a girl as a toddler, much less said "yeah, you can have a girlfriend". And seeing her and this little girl act exactly like me and my first crush, hunched over looking at bugs and gathering nuts that fell from the trees... it was adorable. Watching them act like little crows with each other, and this little girl knock the actual hell out of her brother for being kinda mean to my kiddo, and my kid ask to get friendship trinkets at the store, was magical. I never have seen my kid be that social since, and it's definitely a special little period of her life. It's wild to me how far along the world has come in two decades bc of how many other people supported these little "toddler girlfriends". It gives me hope for the future

[izel-01]

I grew to resent her, after years of her ab*se, after years of praying to her god to save me, asking begging an explanation as to why she hated me, why I was never enough for her, why would our “father” make her cry and hurt her… my questions will remain unanswered…

even years later when we were at the hospital looking at his cold body just laying there, lifeless, drained of color, drained of life, him no longer being there… I tried just one more time begging her god to make him wake up, to make him pay for his sins, to say sorry and mean it this time, to actually love me, to give us an explanation, anything but as I stood there holding his cold and stiff left hand just bawling my eyes out surrounded by strangers who knew him, strangers that adored him when I feared him yet he once was my Daddy, my hero…

and where was she during all of this states away with her new family pr*grant at the time with the second to youngest of this so called family. We had an uncle and aunt pick us up on their way to the state where he used to live, they did us a huge favor in doing so but it was also a displeasure for a lack of a better word

Sure they gave us the “grace” to say a final goodbye one last time but again we were surrounded by strangers and sure the aunt and uncle and their two children were there but we haven’t been in contact since she left him and that’s been over a decade and due to the ab*se my brain has erased most of the memories so it’s like meeting new people again by myself being the sole protector of me and my little sister

his 3 older daughters from his previous marriage were there at least we saw them maybe a handful of times before his death but we were never in good terms. The oldest adored us but she also had her two younger sister from her moms side but we looked like twins. the middle one was indifferent she didn’t care for me at least but she adored my little sister, they looked like twins. and the youngest of those three resented us, me especially mainly out of jealousy - she believes that we “took him away and broke their family”.

And that was the version of the story they grew up with. When in reality their mom kicked him out, leaving him to live in the streets in whatever car he had back then, stole his money from him, and got with his best friend and brothers behind his back (leading for many to believe the youngest of his 3 girls to not be his but was never proven true and the fact that he resented her for it but she legally had his last name so sucks to suck) all of that when my mum met him in the club up north (cliche and I hate everything about it) and it wasn’t until well into the relationship that she found out he was still legally married but was “separated”, yet during her pr*gnancy with me AND my sister’s he would be a man wh*re aka cheating on her and yet this dumbass stayed with him for over a decade. To this day the three oldest are in denial are not mature enough to talk about it bc they (the middle and the youngest of them) wanna be victims so bad 🙄 but also the fact that I physically and emotionally cannot handle having that conversation yet and it’s been a while but it still hurts, not his death but more like I’ll never get closure from him cause he’s gone I’ve had about a handful dreams about him starting like a week after his death up until I think the last one was a couple months ago and I only have one vivid dream that I remember every detail tii oh this day and it felt so real I still cry about it - in a later post

But hey they got to see him live way after they all turned 18… I was 15 and my sister was 13, she was the baby of his kids. And even then we barely got to see him due to custody issues, the ab*se, constantly moving state to state, etc etc

that day of his wake the youngest of his 3 said some of most horrific things to the middle one and I overheard bc she didn’t even try to hide it or be subtle like I get YOU lost your dad, but you are not the only ones and it’s not like I can defend myself or my little sister bc I’m grieving too.

We were in his room laying down on the bed were he slept sitting on the floor where he walked on taking showers where he once showered and she had the audacity to open her mouth and say that stuff, it still hurts to even think about to this day and it’ll 7 years this month since then… but the oldest didn’t really defend us the youngest, more like just told her to be quiet

I wanted to run outside and get some air before I burst into tears again for nth time that day but the stupid aunt who picked us up didn’t let me until I explained what happened (I appreciate what they did for us but that pissed me off) ig she thought I was going to run away which?? Fuck no hello? Im states away from home and it’s a pretty racist state so it wouldn’t even be safe for me?? After I got some air I came back in to explain to her how it wasn’t fair they got the living father ALL throughout their lives and we didn’t

I don’t remember much of what was said but I made sure she was aware of the abuse and the look on their faces and the gasp from her was priceless and the silence as I cried out it wasn’t like “haha revenge on him” more like “know our story our lives get a glimpse HEAR US” bc nobody did most who were close to us even relatives turned a blind eye to the ab*se and some may have said something but did nothing to help us get out of the situation until it was almost too late bc by the time she finally decided enough was enough the damage was already done

[webslingingslasher]

I feel like crying right now 🫠. I had a rlly bad week and it involved me having a mental breakdown and having to pretend like I wasn't crying when my parents came in my room. Not trying to trauma dump but I was js stressed over school assignments bc I usually never have trouble doing it and my room was very dirty and I had laundry to do and I'm sick and my parents think somethings going on with me because I was late to school three days in a row??? My dad literally said "What's going on with you lately?" While he was dropping me off and I started tearing up so I js got out of the car before I started bawling. My very best friend is ignoring me for some reason??? It usually only lasts like a few hours but this has been going on since Thursday and we still have not said a word to each other.

We're a trio w another girl but the other girl (let's call her v) has other friends and her main friends were a year older but they graduated so now we're a trio. I kind of didn't like her bc I let her rant to me when we were becoming friends but then she got too used to it and I became her therapist which I would be fine with bc I love her but she would never listen to me when I was talking and then when asked she would js giggle and say it's bc of her 'adhd' but then she would say she didn't have adhd too?? Like girl make up ur mind. But then I wouldn't let myself be walked over so I confronted her and she said ok I'll try to be better. Lately she has gotten a lot better and she's becoming a very important person in my life but it's usually always been me and my bsf right? Sorry to go off topic I forget what I'm talking ab and I js keep talking 😭 but uhhh anyways I told v aby bsf ignoring me and she basically told me that I should ignore her back bc she always does it to me and I'm always the one apologizing even tho I don't know what I did wrong most of the time. I send her a long paragraph and she js responds w lol and we move on.

So v told me that I don't deserve that, so I should wait for her to talk to me, and after a while, I was like, "Yk what? Youre right" and she told me "ik this sounds cringy but I'm so proud of you" I was alr kind of crying before that bc I always care more ab ppl then they do ab me and bc of the shitty week I had been having so when I read that I immediately started crying and I was muffling the sounds in my spiderman plushie (I'm so cool ik😎) and I was like that for ab an hour and I haven't talked to my bsf since. We had school the next day, and she ignored me, so I went to my other friends bc I have more of them in my classes than she does, and I had a pretty good day apart from her.

Anyways I forgot what my point was again 😭, but oh yeah today I woke up early to go see the eclipse w my cousins and when I came home I went to get starbucks w my dad and then showered (I had not showered in a while, stinky ik 😪((tbh I think it was the dirty room and clothes that was depressing me)) ) and then I cleaned my room and moved things around. (It was a deep clean day) and I went to go do laundry at my aunties. (I had to put two loads in bc I had a lot of clothes 😭) anyways it is currently 8:30 pm where I am and I js got home bc I had to walk home w my bin.

I come home to my little ipad kid cousins in my room on my bed (I didn't have bedsheets on bc I washed them) they had dirty bare feet and they were jumping on my bed and I had left a drawing on my bed and they crumpled it all up. My aunt js leaves them to do whatever they want bc the older one has autism so that's an excuse apparently??? (Don't come at me she's not a very good mom in that department)((wow that sounded judgy)) also I can't tell them to go away or not jump on my bed because then my parents are gonna make it seem like I'm being dramatic in front of my whole family (my aunts and uncles are here) also I'm Mexican btw so it's a very big deal. Also if I tell my aunt she's gonna be rlly sorry and make me feel guilty ab it and in the end they're gonna end up on my bed either way. Also ik my cousin is also having a bad week so ik small things will provoke him. So yeah 😁 I also have a class tmr at 6:30 pm for two hours and it affects me a lot bc then I feel out of it when I have to come home and get ready for school on Monday.

Anyways sorry for dumping all of this on you and if you made it to the end congrats and thank you 🫶🏽 also feel free to ignore this I js needed to tell someone🧍🏽‍♀️

- 🎧

seems like v is a good friend. and it sounds like you need a good friend right now.

i hope these next few weeks get better, i'm sending a big fat virtual hug your way!