#law falling off that room to the floor was also the funniest thing....

[hauntingblue]

VIOLA!!!!!! STAB THAT MAN IN THE EYE!!!

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[therenlover]

Welcome Home (Part One of Till Forever Falls Apart, A Peter Maximoff/Reader Series)

Synopsis: As if getting thrown through the multiverse, trapped in an attic (albeit a cool one), mind-controlled to manipulate his grieving sister, and subsequently dragged out of Westview “for his own safety” by the FBI wasn’t enough, Peter Maximoff has now been shipped off to New York to live with a glorified baby sitter like some tragic orphan in a comic book until they find a way to get him back home. Things are not always as they seem, though, and this change might just be for the better.

Tags: Pre-Relationship, First Meetings, Slow Burn, Post-Wandavision

Rating: T

Warnings: Mild Language, References to Ralph Bohner

Word Count: 2400~

This fic has already been posted to my AO3, along with the next two parts! I’ll be continuing it on both platforms.

-------

“So… Ralph Bohner?”

Peter looked up from his mug, the tea inside having gone cold long before. His eyes had been fixed on the floor, his leg bouncing far quicker than what should have been humanly possible. It had been a little over 24 hours since the Hex had disappeared, and Peter was firmly of the mindset that he was taking it all very well.

Even to himself, he was a terrible liar.

“Ralph?” His new keeper spoke again, voice soft in the quaint kitchen of the brownstone that Peter would be calling home for the foreseeable future.

It had all been so strange. In one moment he was reorganizing his new attic and trying to figure out how to work the damn DVD player, and somehow in the next, he was a prisoner in his own mind, backseat driving as a witch used his face and voice to torment Wanda. Not his Wanda, though; a new, strange, grieving Wanda with unfathomable power at her fingertips. Thankfully, that didn’t last very long.

After just 2 weeks in this strange new reality, Peter missed the X-Men. He missed his dad, no matter how absent and strange he was. He missed his friends, and his sisters, and the strange normalcy that came with being a part of the team when the world wasn’t in danger. Peter found himself wishing that things would just slow down enough for him to catch up and figure out what the hell was going on. That was a new one for him.

At least he still had his speed. If he had lost his powers in the freak accident that sent him into another universe… well he didn’t want to think about that.

Despite this, the FBI guy who had dragged him out of Westview and across the river to New York had given him an explicit warning not to use his powers while civilians were present. Peter didn’t mind Agent Woo, he seemed like a good guy and treated him with more decency than most government lackeys would have back home, but it was gonna be completely impossible for Peter to avoid using his speed in public. It wasn’t like Agent Woo would even be around to stop him anyway. The only person who could possibly protest was the poor sap that the F.B.I. called in to babysit him, and they would never be able to keep up even if they tried.

“Peter? Are you okay?”

Fuck.

His eyes shot up to meet hers, “You aren’t supposed to know that name,”

“I’m not supposed to know a lot of things,” she replied almost nonchalantly, “but neither of us is known for doing the things we’re supposed to do, are we?”

Peter chuckled, and for the first time in a while, he cracked a genuine smile. “I guess not,”

The smile seemed to please the woman across the counter. Smiling back, she wrapped her hands around her own mug and sat down on a tall stool, leaning towards Peter. “Now, first things first! I want you to ignore whatever rules the FBI gave you while you’re here. My house, my rules, and despite the fact that you’re in witness protection I doubt anyone unwanted will come knocking at the door to snatch you up,”

As she spoke, Peter really took her in for the first time. She was a small thing, in shape and stature, but soft, all rounded edges and gentle touches. Despite her young face, there was an age to her, too. Looking deep into his memories, he realized she had the same haunted look in her eyes that he had seen all too often in the older members of his team. It was the look of someone who has seen unspeakable loss and survived to tell the tale. He decided at that moment that maybe staying with her wouldn’t be so bad.

“So about that rules thing,” Peter tapped his fingers against his half-full mug, doing his best not to speed up and break it, “I don’t exactly do well with rules. They aren’t my thing. I can’t promise that the cops won’t show up at the door, and I especially can’t promise that they won’t be there because of something I did that I knew was against the rules,”

When Peter met the woman’s eyes again she was still smiling, not a hint of displeasure on her face.

“If I had a problem with you being you, Peter, I wouldn’t have offered to take you in. Besides, as long as the cops that show up are human there won’t be a problem,”

Peter paused. “What?”

“That’s a question for another time,” The woman took a sharp turn then, hopping off of her stool and walking her mug to the sink where she proceeded to rinse it out. “Next, even in public, I refuse to call you Mr. Bohner. Ralph I can do if you care about staying anonymous, but I won’t be acknowledging any part of your… chosen last name,” Even as she shuddered, there was humor lacing her voice, “Bohner, though? Really?”

“It’s funny!”

She turned back to Peter with her face scrunched up in faux disgust. “Maybe to a middle schooler,”

“I had just been pulled out of my room, sucked through a portal, and thrown onto the steps of goddamn Quantico, so excuse me for not being on top of my game. Besides, Bohner wasn’t even my first choice. They wouldn’t let me go with Jack Ingoff,”

That was enough to send them both into a fit of giggles.

“Jack Ingoff?” She wheezed, “You tried to get the F.B.I. to give you the legal name Jack fucking Ingoff? That’s just so you,”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re both an idiot and the funniest person I have ever met,”

“I’d better be,”

As they continued to laugh, Peter found himself completely enthralled by this strange woman’s face and it occurred to him that she was incredibly beautiful.

It wasn’t as if she was a supermodel, though in Peter’s eyes it wouldn’t have taken much to make her one. Every part of her just seemed to glow as she gripped her stomach and stifled laughter. She was pretty in quiet ways, in soft glances and gentle touches and unrestrained joy. In the way that everything around her felt like it was full of life. In the kindness that had never wavered while Peter had sat at her kitchen counter, even when he had come through the door swearing at Agent Woo and demanding that he didn’t need a babysitter.

The longer he looked, the more beautiful she became, in actions and words and features combined, and Peter suddenly became aware that if he hadn’t taken the time to really see her, he never would have realized. He was glad he had slowed down for once.

Somewhere down the line, her laughter quieted.

“So,” he cleared his throat, “what’s your deal?” The cold mug in his hands was suddenly extremely interesting.

Across the counter she stilled, frozen in place for a moment. When she spoke, her voice held an edge of… fear? “What do you mean?”

Peter did his best to backpedal.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I was just wondering what you did to get stuck with me, that’s all. I doubt they would stick my annoying ass with just anybody, especially after… well everything that went down in Westview. Plus, I’m not just a normal dude. What average New York socialite would take in a kleptomaniac who just so happens to also be inhumanly fast out of the goodness of their heart?”

As he spoke, her shoulders relaxed and she loosened her grip on the edge of the marble countertop. “Oh, my deal,”

“Yeah. There’s more to you than what meets the eye, I can tell,” Something in the way her face flushed at his words made Peter’s heart fill with pride.

“I… well I had a unique upbringing,” she responded, voice careful and measured while she watched the floor, “I’m not a mutant, not like you, but I have a little bit of power at my disposal that makes me useful to heroes and hero adjacent agencies. I’m not a part of the team, my skills aren’t usually helpful when it comes to fighting, but they keep tabs on me just in case I’m needed. This was one of those times,”

Peter snorted. “Sounds like a pretty shitty deal,”

“Trust me, if I didn’t have to have the government breathing down my back, I wouldn’t, but after I worked with the Avengers they pulled up my file and found out I shouldn’t exist, so they’ve been keeping a pretty close eye on me ever since,”

“Ah… well, next time just don’t get caught,”

“Not all of us have the luxury of being able to dodge bullets and outrun law enforcement, Peter. Besides, I like this house and I’m not quite in the mood to have to abandon it just yet.”

He shrugged. “To each their own. Now how the hell did you get stuck with me? Were you just the closest or did everybody else refuse,”

“Well, actually I offered to take you in,”

Peter choked on the air. “Why the hell would you do that?”

She was quick to defend herself, and in a way him too.

“Because Jimmy is my friend, and when a friend needs a favor I try to help them out. It’s more than that, though. I won’t lie. I’m fascinated by you, Peter Maximoff. I find you wonderful exactly how you are and I couldn’t stand to let any of the other assholes in New York try to stomp out your personality. Here with me, you can just be you, and knowing that you’re able to be comfortable until we find you a way home was more than enough of a reason for me to volunteer to take you in. Besides, if you weren’t with me you’d probably be in the tower’s holding cell, and believe me, that wouldn’t be any fun,”

It took Peter a minute to fully digest what he was hearing.

He wasn’t going to be a burden. There would be no curfews or screaming matches or long lectures about his chosen pastimes. She wanted every single part of him there and had already gone out of her way to assure him that even the worst of him was welcome under her roof. Even during his time at X-Mansion, he had never been treated like this.

Sure, he had been himself there. People would yell or try to stop him from doing what he wanted but their efforts were futile. He couldn’t be tamed. At best the other members of the team had just tried to ignore him until his powers came in handy. He was an annoyance at worst and the household funny guy at best, and yet now a total stranger wanted him around. It took all of Peter’s small reserve of restraint to not take a victory lap around the block there and then.

Being wanted was the best feeling in the world.

When his head cleared, he smiled again. “You know, when Agent Woo brought me in here I was fully prepared to wait for him to leave then make a run for it, but I’ve decided to save you from the F.B.I.’s wrath and stay for a while instead. You’re welcome,”

He expected a snappy retort, but instead, her words came out strangely genuine, almost a whisper.  “Thank you for saving me, Peter. I appreciate it,”

“Any time,”

Slowly the flush from before crept back onto her face.

“I know you’re not the type who likes to be tied down, so I won’t keep you here much longer,” she said, before taking Peter’s mug to the sink, “but there are just a few more things I need to tell you before you go off to do whatever it is you do on a Thursday morning.”

He would never admit it but Peter felt anything but tied down. Instead, he just nodded.

“Go for it,”

She washed the mug as she spoke. “Alright, well first of all what’s mine is yours. Unless I specifically ask you not to use something you have free reign over whatever you need. You can come and go as you please, I keep odd hours and don’t mind a little noise even when I’m sleeping. The house is pretty simple layout-wise, you can explore whenever you want, but the room at the end of the hallway to your right is my bedroom and I’d prefer if you didn’t go in there unless you need to. Your room is the first door at the left of the stairs on the second floor and… well, I think that’s all,”

There was a sort of sorrow in the woman’s eyes when she stopped, placing the now clean mug on a drying rack before turning to face Peter again. A yearning. It made Peter want to… well, he didn’t quite know what it made him feel. He just wanted to do whatever would ease the strange pain that resided in his new friend.

He went to speak but nothing came out.

“Is everything okay Peter?”

It was Peter’s turn to flush, face red with shame. “I...uh, well, I wasn’t quite paying attention when the agent introduced us. I’m gonna need to know your name if I’m living with you,”

It came as no surprise when she laughed gently, making her way across the kitchen towards the living room, passing Peter at the counter on her way. “My name is Y/N. It’s nice to finally meet you, Peter,” The strange sorrow was still present, reflected in her words, but it seemed lighter than before, more manageable.

“Nice to meet you too Y/N,”

“I’m heading to work,” she pulled on a light jacket as she spoke, “so feel free to explore at your own leisure while I’m gone. I’ll hopefully be back by 5, but sometimes things run late. Do you need anything while I’m out?”

Peter shook his head no. “If I can’t find something I need I’ll just run out and grab it myself.

Y/N laughed again. “Just don’t get caught, you won’t know the number to call from jail yet,”

“I’m sure I’ll manage,”

She paused, halfway out the door. “Oh, and Peter?”

“Yeah?”

“Welcome home,”

----

a/n: Thank you so much for reading! I have 3 1/2-ish parts of this series written, but the plan is for it to be a long haul where each part is a connecting oneshot. I hope you’re excited! 

Please don’t post my work to other sites, thanks!

[youreacowgirllikeme]

Okay my Jake fanfic request is one where Jake is soft Jake and in a newish relationship and unlike the other fanfics he wants sex but doesn’t know how to go about initiating it because he is afraid he’s reading signals wrong and doesn’t want to be too direct and Y/N notices his nervous behavior when things are intimate and tries to give him opportunities to initiate it

Tentative

words: 2,4 k

warnings: NSFW, smut

enjoyyy :)

“Oh my god, Jake that was perfect.” You sighed, dropping your fork onto your empty plate.

The dinner your boyfriend had made for you had been one of the best things you had ever eaten, he had even made your favorite chocolate cake for dessert.

“I had no idea you can cook like that.”

Jake just rubbed his neck, clearly happy but also a bit embarrassed about the amount of praise you were giving him. “Well, you said you were having a hard day, so I wanted to do something nice for you.” He murmured, smiling softly at you. You beamed back, you had really hit the jackpot with Jake.

The two of you had met at a fundraiser you attended with some colleagues from the law firm you worked for and had been dating for about a month now. One of the first things you had learned about Jake Tapper was that while he was confident and assertive at his job as an anchor, he could be pretty shy and quiet in private. That didn’t bother you at all though, he was one of the funniest, sweetest and most considerate people you had ever met, and he treated you like a queen.

After dinner you poured yourself a glass of wine and retired to the couch with Jake. You started a movie, but soon you moved closer to him, cuddling against his side and tentatively stroking his leg.

He turned his face away from the tv to look at you. “You are so beautiful, Y/N.” he whispered, and cupped your jaw to press a soft, chaste kiss to your lips. Kissing him still made fireworks go off inside you every time, even after a month. You put an arm around him, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.

He still was a bit tense, but when you slid your tongue across his bottom lip, he groaned and relaxed against you. As you pressed your body even closer to his, you could feel the hard bulge that was slowly beginning to form in his pants, and it made you clench your legs in arousal.

You hadn’t had sex with Jake yet as both of you had agreed to take things slow, but you definitely wanted him, a lot. Maybe tonight was the right time.

Carefully, your hands wandered to Jakes lower back and pulled the hem of his shirt out of his trousers. As soon as you felt the smooth skin of his back under your fingers, your resolve to take it slow crumbled, and you tried to climb on Jakes lap, desperate to feel his hardness pressed against your core.

But Jake broke the kiss, looking flustered and a bit unsettled.

“I’m sorry, baby, I really need to use the restroom.” He spoke, and before you could reply, he got up and almost fled the room.

+++

As soon as the door of the bathroom closed behind him, Jake pressed his forehead against in and let out a staggered breath, his fists clutched at his side.

Swearing quietly, he readjusted his pants to relieve some of the pressure. Walking away from the situation had been hard, but he needed to stop before he lost control over his actions. You were so perfect, beautiful and pure, and deserved that he waited for the right moment to take it further. The worst thing he could imagine was pressuring you into something you didn’t feel ready for yet.

If he thought about it, you had appeared pretty eager back on the couch, but what if he was just reading the signs wrong and hurt you in the process? He couldn’t stop ragging his brain about it, afraid he could do something wrong. You had been the one suggesting taking things slow, and Jake respected that, because he respected you. He could just hope that he wouldn’t snap and let himself get carried away the next time a situation like that came up.

When he finally felt a bit more collected and controlled again, he splashed some cold water into his face and decided to go back to see you.

+++

Back in the living-room, you were slightly confused and a bit uncertain as well. Hadn’t Jake enjoyed himself? Why had he stormed out of the room like that?

You took a sip of wine and hoped he would come back soon, you were the kind of person to address situations like that heads on, you would just ask him what the problem was.

When Jake made his way back to you, he looked a bit more pulled together again, he had readjusted his shirt and fixed his hair. When he sat back down next to you, he took your hand and started talking.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry if I went too far earlier, and made you feel uncomfortable.” He said, his voice was serious and there was a pleading look in his eyes, like he was really worried.

“Jake, no, everything is fine. You didn’t do anything wrong, I enjoyed what we did very much.” You replied, squeezing his hand to reassure him that you were telling the truth. “I know we agreed to take things slow, but-“

The shrill ring of your cellphone interrupted you, it was your work phone, so you quickly took the call.

“There’s a problem at the firm, trouble with a client, I have to run. I am so sorry, Jake, thank you for the amazing dinner, I’ll call you tomorrow and we can finish our conversation.” You pressed a quick kiss to his mouth and grabbed your stuff before hurrying out of Jakes apartment, leaving the man alone with his thoughts.

+++

You spent the car ride to work going over what had just transpired between you and Jake. He was clearly extremely careful around you, and you appreciated that, there were way too many men who thought they could just take what they wanted without consideration.

But it was evident Jake desired you and wanted more. Was it possible that he was just too shy, or anxious to pressure you? By now, you were aware that could be at bit uptight as well at times, maybe he just needed a nudge in the right direction?

You decided to lay it out for him, dropping some hints so he would see that you were perfectly fine with him taking what he wanted. After all, actions spoke louder than words sometimes.

+++

A week later, you were sure that things were moving in the right direction. You had been dropping subtle hints at every chance you got, casually touching Jake whenever you could, fixing his tie, squeezing his thigh when he was sitting next to you, pressing your body extra close to his when he was kissing you. You just wanted him to feel more comfortable around you, but he was still a bit too hesitant for your liking. You had to up the game.

Friday night, after a hard week of work, the two of you were having dinner at a nice, elegant restaurant. Afterwards, you invited Jake over to your place for a late-night drink, and hopefully more.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’m just going to change into something a bit more casual.” You said, before making your way to your bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar.

After waiting for a minute, you called out Jakes name.

“Baby, could you please come in here for a second and help me?”

Jake came right away. “What do you need, Y/N?”

You stood in front of your floor length mirror and looked at Jake through the reflection, a small pout in your lips. “Could you unzip me please? I can’t reach all the way back.” You asked, and pointed to the zipper of your dress, all while trying to make your voice sound as innocent as possible.

You saw Jake swallowing visibly before he stepped up behind you. Feeling him so close, you had to fight the urge to just press your backside to his body. No, you told yourself, you had to be patient and do this on his terms.

Carefully, Jake reached out to brush your hair away from your back, and when his fingers slid over the skin of your neck, you could barely stifle a moan, your skin tingling where he had touched you.

Slowly, Jake pulled down the zipper on the back of your dress, revealing your smooth skin and black lace underwear to the cool air of the room.

You observed Jakes reflection, the way his eyes darkened, and his gaze was fixed on the bare skin of your back, wandering further and further down. There was a light flush on his cheeks, he was clearly worked up.

“Thank you so much.” You whispered and let the fabric of your dress fall to the floor, leaving you only in your matching panties and bra.

Jakes face took on an almost pained expression, and he tentatively reached out to let his fingers trail down your spine.

“You are breathtaking, Y/N, absolutely gorgeous.” He murmured, and you sighed and leaned your head back against his shoulder.

“Kiss me, Jake, please.” You whispered and reached out to place his other hand on your hip.

Jake let out a low groan and leaned down to press feather-light kisses against your exposed neck, his thumb softly brushing over your hipbone.

You keened into his touches and felt wetness starting to pool between your legs.

Looking up to meet your eyes in the mirror, Jake spoke out, his voice breathy and a bit stained. “Is that alright? Please tell me when it becomes too much for you.”

“Its not too much, quite the opposite in fact. Please don’t stop.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, and his eyes were so open and warm that your heart gave a little tug in your chest. He was so gentle; you almost couldn’t believe it.

“Absolutely sure.”

It felt like a weight had dropped off Jakes shoulders, his hand on your hip tightened and pulled you back against him, your ass grinding into the bulge in his trousers. The moan he let out was deep and wanton, and your need for him hit you with full force.

Jakes other hand swiftly unclasped your bra, sliding it off your arms to let it join your dress on the floor. Turning around to face Jake, you took his face between your hands and gave him a deep, passionate kiss before beginning to open the buttons of his dress shirt.

“You’re wearing entirely too many clothes, baby.” You murmured, sliding the shirt off his shoulders before brushing your palms over his muscled chest. His skin was warm and soft, and you pressed little open-mouthed kisses to it while you carefully undid his belt-buckle to pull his trousers down.

Jake was panting hard by now, and when you palmed his erection though his boxer shorts, he lost his tight control. Grabbing your hips, he spun you around to push you onto your bed, laying down on top of you.

“Jake, baby, I’m yours. I trust you.” You whispered, looking him deep in the eyes so he could see how serious you were.

Jake kissed you deeply before his hand trailed down your stomach, finding it’s way between your legs. He slowly pulled your lace panties down, throwing them onto the bed before one of his fingers carefully dipped into the wetness between your legs. You threw your head back into the pillows and moaned loudly when he started to softly stroke your clit with his thumb, moving his fingers against your core until you came with a small sob.

Jakes eyes were fixed on you as you came down from your high, his pupils were blown, and his erection was visibly straining against his underwear.

You reached out to lightly tug on the hem of his boxers. “Wow.” you panted. “I definitely need you to get you out of those.”

Hastily, Jake pulled the last article of clothing down his legs, and the sight of his hard cock sent another surge of arousal through you.

“Do you have a condom?” he asked, and you reached over to your nightstand to hand him one.

After he had put it on, you slowly spread your legs, making room for Jake to lie between them. He lined up his cock, and gave you another deep look, almost as if he was asking permission.

“I want you, Jake, please.” You whined, and when he pushed into you and began to move, your whines turned into breathy moans, your breath hitching with every thrust he gave.

His eyes were fixed on your face the whole time, dark and warm, drinking in your pleasured noises and little squirms as you fell apart under him.

“So perfect, baby.” He murmured under his breath “You feel so amazing.”

You cupped his jaw and pulled him into a kiss, softly biting his bottom lip, something he apparently enjoyed as his thrusts were getting slightly harder. You reached out to softly tug on his hair and he groaned, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

Jakes hand sneaked back between your legs to circle your clit, and the combined stimulation made your entire body tingle and burn with pleasure. Every stroke sent a new pulse of arousal through you, and when he softly bit your neck, you lost it.

You chanted Jakes name, clinging onto him as your climax pulsed through you, making you walls flutter and clench around his length.

Jakes grip on you hardened for a moment, he gave one last deep thrust and stayed buried deep inside of you as he found his release.

A moment later, all tension left his body and he collapsed on top of you. You started to softly stroke his back, enjoying bathing in the afterglow while having him so close.

After a while, he carefully pulled out and propped himself up to look at you, a slightly worried expression on his face. You were sincerely hoping he wasn’t still being unsure about this.

“I can hear your thoughts from here, Jake. What is wrong?”

“Are you alright, baby?” he murmured, and you just let out a short laugh.

“Alright? I’m more than alright. “you said, smiling at him to reassure him just how good you were feeling. “That was amazing.”

“I just didn’t want to feel like I expected anything from you.” Jake said, sounding slightly relieved now.

“Stop worrying! You didn’t, baby. But I expect you to do what you just did again, and very soon.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

[propertyofwicked]

Could you do an a-z for dating dean please? I loved tom’s! 😍

i really enjoy writing these :) ive got a george one requested so i will be doing that later. hope you enjoy this one anon :)

a - argue

like the mature adults you guys are, any argument results in silent treatment till one of you realises your fault and apologises. sometimes it takes other people to point out your mistakes, but in the end you would talk it out, make compromises and understand your differences. a little goes along way with you and dean.

b - body (his favourite body part of yours)

dean likes your hands. he likes how they move to cup his face when you kiss, he likes how your fingers move effortlessly across your keyboard when you’re typing, he likes how they wrap around things ;) he likes how they fit perfectly in his and he likes how they run over the surface of his back.

c - care (caring for each other when you’re sick)

you both spend a lot of time away from each other, as he is away filming a lot and you are at uni or doing coursework. when you do get to spend time together and it happens that someone is ill, you’re still going to spend as much time together as physically possible. you’ll spend the day in bed, wrapped up warm. If you’re ill, dean wants to treat you like a queen. under no circumstances are you to leave the bed, unless it’s for the toilet, and even then, he keeps an eye on you to make sure you don’t pass out on the way. he’ll cook you food and bring you painkillers as often as needed. when he’s ill, you’ll do mostly the same, perhaps try and move him to the sofa or go for a walk for some fresh air.

d - dates (what do you guys do?)

to the start of your relationship, dean preferred to take you on high key fancy restaurants, but once you were comfortable settled together you’d go on cafe dates in-between lectures or just stay home and watch movies with some takeaway food.

e - engagements (how he proposed) 

dean had taken you to venice for your birthday, and spent the entire week spoiling you,as he usually would much to your protests. on the last night before you flew home, you went for dinner and on the way home, he took you to a cute little bridge, tucked away from the main town. whilst you were distracted by the stars appearing in the orange sky, he got down on one near and called out your name to gain your attention.

f - friends and family (do they like you/him?)

his parents loved you. his mum and you often cooked together whenever you visited for dinner, or you and his dad would talk about politics or the football. His little sister liked having a female around that was closer to her age, you were more of her friend than her sister-in-law. your parents liked dean, he was the most respectable boy you’d ever dated and they could see how happy he made you. out of each of your friendship groups, you both were the longest to be single, so your friends were just happy to see you not crying over some failed fling.

g - gifts

as dean was away for filming a lot, he often wanted to remind you of how much he loved you by getting flowers delivered to your house and when he was done filming, he’d sometimes brought back bits of set or props that he thought you would like. being a broke student meant that sometimes the only gift you could send would be some lovely photos specially for him ;)

h - how you met

often, your uni would use it’s rooms to host interviews for press tours, or q&a halls. the uni offered pay for a group of people to set up the rooms and pack up at the end so you volunteered. tt was here you ran into george and dean as it was a 1917 q&a. they were lost so you helped direct them to the room they needed to be in. dean actively stalked you down after the interview and asked if you’d want to go for coffee with him and you hit it off from there.

i - intimacy (how often are yall getting down)

whenever, wherever. he’s down. the amount of time you spend apart just builds up your need to be together, so you grasp at any chance you can to be physically intimate with one another. it’s when you’re bored of a tv program, or he’s wearing a suit, you get the gist.

j - jealousy

you get fairly jealous as dean works around and with a lot of people you believe to be better, prettier, that yourself. as much as dean reassures you, you can’t help yourself from wondering if he’d ever leave you for one of the actress he work with. dean doesn’t tend to be massively jealous, but the more time he spends away from you, the more jealous he gets. he fears that you will find someone who can be in your life more permanently and physically than he can.

k - kinks

dean likes edging/control. he loves to see you struggle to contain your release until he says so, and he loves to take you beyond the point of pleasure till you’re literally begging to cum.

l - long distance

with dean working away so much, long distance gets hard. Sometimes he manages to come home for the weekend, but he could be gone for 3 months at a time. every night, you facetime or call each other whilst just going about your daily routine together, as if he was there. just hearing each others voices daily was enough to keep you going till you saw each other again.

m - moving in

there was never really a point where you moved in with him. your stuff just started manifesting it’s way into his house, to the extent you’d spend ages searching your room for it only to realise you’d left it at dean’s. once you were going into your second year at university, you’d been with dean for almost a year and he just kind of suggested that you live with him to avoiding massive bills for uni halls, but everyone knew it was a ploy to be able to spend more time with you.

n - nights out

as a student, nights out were key to social engagements. so, your group of uni friends and their partners would head out to a local pub and spend the evening chatting drinking or playing darts. you’d both stumble home at the early hours and wake up several hours later with a pounding hangover.

o - open with each other

whilst he was away, it was hard to be fully open with each other, knowing that anything bothering you would just upset each other further as you couldn’t be with each other at the time. once he was home, however, it was easy to spend hours wrapped up together talking about anything that was on your mind.

p - pda

neither of you are particularly into massive displays due to the public eye being on you more often than not, but a simple hand hold or peck didn’t go amiss. dean preferred to save all of his affection for home, where he could properly show you how much you meant to him.

q - questions (what you talk about late at night?)

let’s be honest, you would go into any massively deep conversation it’d be more along the lines of “how was your day? what did you do?  did I ever tell you about the time that...” but it was the small moment s like that that counted.

r - reproduction (do you want kids?)

not at this point in time, as it is the start of your careers and you’re both pretty young but you had discussed it a little. if it was to happen by surprise, you’d both embrace it but one day down the line you fully plan to have atleast a child if not more.

s - surprising (what surprised you about him)

the simplicity of his happiness. it doesn’t take much to make dean smile, or let out a little laugh but every time he did you feel a surge of happiness rush through yourself. to see him happy made you happy, so you’d strive to do that as much as humanly possible.

t - together (what you do together)

you guys like watching movies, which isnt surprising given the nature of deans job. you also like to spend quite a lot of time in the bedroom ;)

u - under the influence (drunk vibes)

it was rather common that you’d be out separately, you out with uni mates or him with co stars. drunk calls were the best, both of you becoming the funniest people alive whilst intoxicated. when he chose to stay home and you’d make you way back, fumbling to get the keys in the lock subsequently waking him up, he’d come to you and put you in bed. he’d make sure there was a glass of water and painkillers and a bowl near your head. you’d do the same, but drunk dean is flirty dean and whilst you were trying to change him into sleepable clothing, he’d make comments like “at least by me dinner first”

v - vacations

a lot of your holidays were spent on set with him, but sometimes you’d go abroad to malta or somewhere remote. you preferred quiet, adventure holidays than expensive beach holidays.

w - wedding

you had the cutest wedding ever. it was in this converted barn, with both your families and friends attending and the reception was basically a massive party in very fitting taste for you and dean.

x - xray (when he’s hurt)

dean injured himself on set of 1917, where he slipped down a trench and twisted his ankle fairly bad. because of it, he was sent home for two weeks to recuperate, where you literally tended to his every need. you brought him food, drink, medication and care to the point where he literally had to make you spend time on your other work rather than him for some time. normally it would just end in you falling asleep, cuddling on the sofa, in your living room.

y - you (a random headcanon) 

you’d had a long and bad day at uni, so you came home stressed out of your mind, muscled tensed and a pounding headache. the moment you stepped foot into the flat, you bag dropped to the floor and shoes kicked to the side, you walked into the living room where dean looked up at you and sent you a small smile. he noticed the fatigue in your eyes and posture, moving to pat his lap for you to sit on. You found your way onto his lap, legs wrapping around his waist as he moved to lay down. you hands moved under his back to hold him properly and one of his arms snaked around your waist, the other moving to brush a hand through your hair. his head lifted up slightly to press a kiss onto the top of your head.

“bad day?”

“very. but it’s slightly better now.”

“you’re very welcome babygirl”

z - zzzzzzzzzzzz’s (sleeping routine)

dean would be in bed before you every night without fail as you’d be sat doing coursework till late. but he always stayed awake till you made your way into the room and held out his arms for you to climb into and rest your head on his chest. his hands would go straight to your hair and brush through them softly, lulling you into a deep sleep that he too would fall into soon after you.

[motherfuckinglosersclub]

Chapter One: Boys’ Club

Warnings: None

Word count: 1,700+

Dudes being dudes, taking shit and hanging out

It was the afternoon before the first day of junior year. In an effort to escape the dreadful summer heat of Derry, the boys were lounging in Bill’s house with the A/C cranked up.

“So Billy Boy, how’s life for ya?” Richie asked, leaning back into the old couch. Stains dotted its fabric from unknown substances and years of regrets.

“Puh-Pretty good,” Bill said, trying to shake off the laid back and cozy atmosphere surrounding him. He was currently sandwiched between his two boyfriends trying his best not to fall asleep but quickly losing the battle. “How are you, R-Richie?”

“His name is trashmouth, not Richie.” Stan said, not taking his eyes off his phone.

“Damn right!” Richie beamed, reaching over to ruffle Stan’s hair.

Stan made a disgusted face and leaned out of Richies reach, this caused him to wake up Eddie in the process.

“WHAT THE FUCK RICH!” Even though Stan woke him up, Eddie tended to blame things like this on Richie because more often than not Richie was at the source. Eddie grabbed a pillow off the couch and chucked it at Richie’s face.

Mike grumbled from beside Bill, “Knock it off, you little kids. The adults are sleeping.”

In an effort to try to break up the fight brewing between Eddie and Richie, Ben scrambled toward his bag and pulled out his school schedule for the year. “Hey guys maybe since we’re all kind of waking up we could compare schedules maybe?”

“Sounds fun to me.” Mike said, also grabbing his schedule.

“Ugh fine.” Richie said, trying to find his own schedule in his backpack, which he had shoved to the bottom as soon as he got it. He hadn’t even bothered to clean it out from sophomore year.

“Hey I’m j-just gonna keep napping,” Bill said burying his face into Stan’s shoulder.

Stan laid his head onto Bills, sighing, “Mikey, will you hand me mine?”

“Sure thing.”

“Aw you guys are too cute.” Richie gushed, resting his chin on his hand.

“That could be you and Eddie but you guys are playin’” Stan said, giving Richie a blank stare.

“Stan, I will cut you,” Eddie deadpanned in efforts to hide how much he was blushing.

Stan just shrugged, not putting up a fight in this conversation.

“C’mon Eds, you know you wanna piece of this.” Richie stood up, wiggling his eyebrows and doing a full turn for the losers to admire.

Mike wolf whistled, playing into Richie's little game. Richie shot finger guns and clicked his tongue at him, all of which caused Ben to laugh his ass off.

Eddie glared at Richie, “In your dreams, trashmouth.”

“Every night babe.” Richie winked, sitting down on the floor by Eddie.

“Anyways, Ben. What do you have first period?” Stan addressed Ben, leaning towards the boy and ignoring the antics of his friends.

“I have trig first, what about you?” Ben offered his schedule to Stan to compare. Richie nodded at Ben, indicating he also had that class for first.

“I have English. Bummer, I don't like Berkeley.” Stan said, slightly frowning and grabbing the paper.

Mike rubbed Stan’s back, to comfort him. “Hey, so do I. At least you won't be alone in that class. Anyone else have English first?”

Eddie pushed Richie off and pulled his schedule out of his pocket, “I’m pretty sure I do,” he checked his schedule, “Yeah, I do, it’ll be pretty fun if we all have it together.”

Stan rubbed his temples, looking stressed out. “This year is going to kick my ass, I can already tell. Ben, it looks like your tutoring is gonna come in handy.” He then handed Ben his schedule back and laid his head back down onto Bill’s.

Ben smiled, “Thanks Stan, but my tutoring isn’t helpful unless the people there really care about school so I’m sure you’ll be fine this year!”

Mike smiled at Ben’s encouragement, “Yeah he's right babe, you're gonna kill this year. Not the other way around. And if you need help, all of us are more than willing to help.”

All the losers, minus Bill who was still napping, nodded in agreement.

“Okay, so who has US Gov. for fifth?” Richie asked, looking around. He did not want that teacher by himself.

“I do,” Mike said, nodding at Richie. “Good thing too, because that Johnson does not like you.”

“I really don’t see why he doesn’t like me. I’m the funniest and smartest kid in that class.” Richie shrugged, shaking his head.

“I'll give you funniest, but I think I earned the title of smartest last year, buddy.” Mike laughed loudly.

“Bullshit!” Richie yelled back, sitting up.

“Beep beep, Richie, you're going to wake up Bill. I don't care who is smarter or who is dumber, we all have our own opinions.” Stan whispered yelled, making a hitting motion at Richie, though his eyes showed amusement.

Richie laid down, pushing his glasses onto the top of his head and rubbing his eyes. Sleep is for the weak he said, he doesn’t need sleep he had said. Now that was biting him in the ass.

“You okay, Rich?” Eddie asked genuinely concerned for Richie’s well-being. He knows that he’s harsh on Richie a lot but he actually does care and right now he can tell that something is wrong.

“I’m fine spaghetti man.” Richie smiled at him. He was practically blind, but could still see Eddie’s frown, which he thought was adorable.

There was a loud knock on the door, it was Georgie Denbrough, Bill’s thirteen year old younger brother. The noise woke up Bill.

Georgie came into the room, “Bill! Mom said your friends have to go soon. It's a school night, Asswipe.”

“J-Jesus Christ Georgie, I was trying to suh-sleep!” Bill said getting up and closing the door leaving Georgie in the hallway.

“Don't shoot the messenger, Mom wanted me to tell you. This is why I'm the favorite!” The young boy screamed, making his way back down stairs and signaling the end of the conversation.

“S-Sorry about Georgie guh-guys, he can be ob-nuh-n-noxious sometimes.” Bill made his way back to the losers.

“Your brother is my son, and I love him.” Richie said, chuckling at his own joke.

“You’re Bill’s dad?” Eddie smirked.

“Nah, Bill’s daddy is either Stan or Mike, but nobody really knows which one.” Richie replied, nudging Ben with his elbow.

Bill blushed, “I’m luh-leaving.”

“Ah yes, Georgie. My favorite Denbrough.” Mike said, looking at Bill, waiting for his reaction to the obvious joke.

Richie laughed at Mike, causing the whole club to laugh at the blushing Billiam.

Stan smiled at his boyfriend's red cheeks and cooed, “Baby, your brother is more loved than you.”

Bill tugged his sleeves down and tried to hide his face in the neck of his flannel to pout, “Well I g-guh-guess you shuh-should just go date Georgie instuh-stead.”

“I never said I loved him more than you. Because that would be a lie. Right, Mike?” Stan said, turning towards Mike.

“I'm not gonna be apart of this.” Mike said laughing.

Ben’s face scrunched up, “I just pictured Stan dating Georgie and I think I’m ready to leave this world.”

“Oh my fucking god no no no no,” Eddie covered his face like that would help.

“Well I would hate to break up this party but I gotta go. Mom will kill me if I’m late. See ya guys.” Richie laughed, standing up and grabbing his backpack. He waved and walked out the door, and the losers could hear him scream goodbye to his son, Georgie.

Eddie gathered his stuff and yelled down the hall, “Wait Rich, I’ll go with you!” He turned back to the others, “Bye guys, good luck with whatever this is,” before running outside to meet Richie.

“That's our cue to leave,” Mike said, offering a hand to Stan, “Need a ride?”

“You know I do, stop bragging about your new car. Ben, do you need a ride home?” Stan asked kindly to the still sitting boy.

“Yeah, that’d be great, if you guys don’t mind of course,” Ben said with a smile.

“No, not at all, buddy.” Mike told his friend. “Just give us a minute to say goodbye to Bill and we'll meet you out there.”

Ben gathered up his stuff, “Sounds good, Mike,” and ran out the door to give the boys some privacy.

Bill glared at his boyfriends, “You suh-sure you don’t wanna go say buh-bye to Georgie?”

“He's not really my type,” Stan deadpanned. “I'm into older boys. And boys that are actually taller than me.”

“And we love you romantically, he's technically our brother in law.” Mike grimaced, slightly laughing.

“Wait we’re getting m-married?” Bill looked up, blushing about ten times harder than before.

“When it's legal, I guess. Not really allowed for three people to get hitched” Stan shrugged, blushing also.

Bill smiled, “Okay so muh-maybe we don’t get married but I f-forgive my amazing b-boyfriends for loving my brother more than me?”

“We love him in a different way,” Mike laughed.

“Yeah, I k-know,” Bill agreed. He gave them each a quick kiss, “Okay you guys m-might really have to leave now t-though.”

They then said their goodbyes and Mike and Stan met Ben at the car.

“Sorry we took long,” Mike said, sliding into the driver's seat. Stan got into the back since his stop was first.

Stan tuned out the other boys conversation and thought about how the next day would go. He wanted it to be calm and relaxing, like any another day of school, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be that easy. His stomach was in knots about it so he rubbed it, trying to get the feeling to go away.

Besides the lingering anxiety, he felt pretty good. The summer went amazingly, besides a few bumps in the road. He had two good boyfriends and lots of great best friends. Overall he felt peaceful. Sitting in the back of  car, listening to him and Ben ramble about a book they were reading. Something about gods and monsters, and some huge quest with a time limit.

Stan tried to refocus and join the conversation, but it was no use. He was to caught up in his own head. Instead he just sat with his back against the door and watch Mike speak passionately with his hands about his favorite character and some symbolism about the characters green eyes. The sight alone relaxed the tumbling, rumbling anxiety and Stan felt better until he laid in bed for the night and spent hours thinking of how the next day could go wrong or perfect.

[wayward-marvel-sommer1196]

Almost Like A Horror Flick

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Warnings: Blood, torture, murder, hostage, reader as bait, creepy clown mask (I have a sort of clown phobia so I put this just in case)

Word Count: 3118

A/N: This was written for Samii Gets Scary Writing Challenge @senselesssamii . Congrats on all the followers. My prompt was “You know that part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid and everyone hates them for it? This is it?” This whole horror thing was cool to try. As always, no beta all mistakes min and feedback is more than welcomed.

Summary: You and Steve go for a night out at the movies. After the movie and on your walk home your night turns into something straight out of a horror movie.

^ignore the words 

Steve Rogers was Captain America. This is a fact that everyone knew. This was how everyone saw him. He was always Captain America and never just Steve Rogers. You knew that feeling all too well. Being raised and trained in the Red Room with Nat all you were ever seen as was the killer assassin you were made to be, not y/n l/n, the innocent girl that didn’t have a choice. This fact was how you and Steve became best friends. This was also how your routine with him began.

Every Friday, if y’all weren’t on a mission, you and Steve would go out and see a movie together. Nothing fancy, just two friends going out to see the funniest movie they can find in the theaters and getting the junkiest junk food they can to distract them from the horrors they have seen in their lives. The theater y’all frequented was only a mile away from the tower so you always walked to get some fresh air and feel normal every now and again.

This Friday, however your mission ran late. So, instead of seeing the usual 5 o’clock movie, you had to catch the 8 o’clock which you didn’t really mind. The movie ended a little after ten and you guys began you little journey back to the tower. You were glad you chose your sweater outfit as it started to get a bit chilly.

After a few minutes of walking the hairs on the back of your neck started to stand. You felt like you were being followed. You looked over to Steve, who had his arm over your shoulder, and he gave you a squeeze telling you he felt it too. So, you both made the decision to walk in the opposite direction of the tower, not wanting to lead anyone back.

You found yourselves walking in an alley way in almost complete darkness. The creepy factor was really starting to settle in. Suddenly, a noise caught your attention and you turned only to see one of New York’s famous giant alley rats. You chuckled to yourself thinking you were just being paranoid and your assassin spy side was just creeping to the surface. That’s when you felt Steve starting to fall to the ground. There was a dart sticking out of his neck. Before you could react, you felt a sharp pain in the side of your neck and the darkness took over. You were hit with a tranquillizer dart and who knows where you would wake up.

Slowly but surely you began to open your eyes only to discover your hands were strapped to a table above your head and your legs were strapped down as well. Your arms and legs where spread apart and who ever tied you down knew what they were doing. You looked down to see your sweater had been torn off. You were stuck and for once didn’t know how you were going to get out.

You looked around to find Steve with no luck but noticed you were in a run-down warehouse of some sort. You couldn’t tell exactly due to the lack of light in the building. You heard a clatter almost like metal on metal and you turned your head to the direction the noise came from. That’s when you knew you were fucked.

The noise came from other girls who were chained in cages in nothing but their underwear. They seemed drugged up to the point they had no fight in them. Their stomachs and arms were covered in old white scars and some fresher red ones. For the first time since you were a young girl you were scared for your life.

That’s when a bang on the cages caught your attention and you saw your capturer. He had a considerably large blade in his hands and a fucking clown mask over his face. Really!!???!?!!? It had to be a clown mask. You hated clowns. It was stupid and childish, you knew that, but hey they freaked you out and just made this situation so much worse for you.

“You, my beautiful specimen, are going to be the next part of my collection,” he said with a nightmarish voice as he used the blade to wipe the hair out of your face.

“Over my dead body,” you respond with venom dripping from your voice. Your spy training was really coming in handy in hiding your fear here.

“That’s the plan, my dear.”

A sickening chill ran down your spine as he said that. You could really use a blue eyed, 6-foot super soldier right about now. Or rather just his strength to pull from these restraints.

“Where’s Steve?”

“Oh, don’t you worry your pretty little face about your precious boyfriend, my dear. He will be taken care off.”

You didn’t bother to argue about the boyfriend comment. It actually came up a lot. Since you and Steve were such close friends many people misconstrued that relationship as a romantic one. But you couldn’t lie you didn’t mind him being called your boyfriend.

“You keep telling yourself that, creep. He won’t be so easy to put down.”

“You let me worry about that. You should be more concerned about yourself at the moment,” he said as he dragged the blade across your stomach.

You let out a blood curdling scream. The knife was exceptionally sharp and he had to have gone down at least three inches into your scream.

He dragged the blade across your abdomen a few more times. Each time feeling deeper than the last eliciting screams and tears from you. You could feel the blood dripping down your stomach, rolling off our sides. He began to attack your arms when, thankfully, he decided he needed a different blade. You let out a sigh of relief for the break.

Steve POV

I felt stiff and like I was laying on a concrete floor. When I opened my eyes that is exactly where I was laying on a concrete floor in a steel cage. A thick steel cage. I tried to pull the door of its hinges but that didn’t work. I tried to push the door out but that didn’t work either. Whoever took us knew how to keep someone locked up.

That’s when I remembered y/n. She wasn’t in here with me. Where is she? No, no, no, no, this can’t be happening. I looked out of the cage only to be met with a gruesome sight. A metal table that looked to have restraints attached to it. It was covered in a layer of blood. It didn’t look to fresh or maybe it was. I couldn’t be sure. It was really dark in this warehouse. If it wasn’t fresh than it couldn’t be y/n’s right? Or maybe it could. How long have I been unconscious?

Whatever they used to drug did a good job at jumbling my brain a bit. It couldn’t focus on one thing. It started asking so many questions that I couldn’t answer. The only one thing I knew for sure was that I needed to find y/n. I need to make sure she is okay and hurt anyone who made her not okay.

She was my best friend, or at least that’s how it looked to the outside world and that’s the part I played. The truth is I am in love with her. Have been since about a week after I met her. I know that sounds really soon but she was beautiful, badass, and saw me as Steve Rogers, the kid from Brooklyn, not Captain America, the super soldier out of his time. That last part is my favorite thing about her. She sees me as me, just like I see her as her, and not the killer spy assassin she was made to be. I see y/n the kind heart girl who didn’t have a choice and did the best she could to survive.

She survived the Red Room. I had to make damn sure she survived this. She didn’t escape hell to be taken out by some psycho. No, I’m had to get her out of this.

As he was trying to come up with a plan to get out of the cage he heard you scream. A scream of pure pain. He knew that scream. He had heard it before.

Moscow – 3 years ago

You and Steve were posing as an undercover couple to get knowledge from a Hydra operative. You guys were supposedly wealthy and wanted to invest in Hydra. Besides the criminals and the breaking the law part it was nice. Even if it was pretending it was nice to be a “couple” with you even for a little bit.

The initial meeting had gone perfectly and the guy loved you. He actually seemed excited to bring you guys on as business partners. However, the second meeting he acted strange the entire time and kept eyeing you up and down making Steve clench his jaw and ball his fists.

The next day he had a solo meeting with the man and when they were done he definitely knew something was wrong. He rushed home, or what you called home for the mission, and saw the place was trash, there was blood drops all through the place and you were gone.

Turns out one of your old contacts from your days as the Red Widow had been in on this deal and recognized you and blew your cover. Ivan was his name and he had taken you. He had you for two days beating you, slicing you, and using different torture methods to get what information they could out of you.

When Steve found you, he heard you scream and saw that you were knocking on deaths door. Turns out they underestimated you because they gave you everything they had and you never cracked. Steve simultaneously loved and hated that about you.

He almost lost you then, he wasn’t going to let it happen again. Your scream gave him the strength he needed to kick down the cage door. He ran towards your screams as fast as he could.

Reader POV

You were getting really light head from the blood loss. You could still feel it streaming down your sides onto the table below. You couldn’t believe you escaped torture just to be thrown right back into it. Of course. It figures this would be how you go.

Suddenly, you saw a shadow approaching the table you were tied to.

“Please, no more. I can’t take anymore, please,” you begged as the tears started to stream down your face.

“Hey Doll, shhh…. It’s just me, Steve. I’ve got you. I’m going to get you out of here sound good?” he said rubbing the top of your head to calm you. He looked to your restraints thanking god they weren’t chains but rather leather belts. He yanked them out of place, all four of them, and grabs you off the table placing you on your wobbly feet. He noticed your state of undress so he took off his shirt and gave it to you to cover up. Thankfully he still had his white tank top on underneath.

“Steve, he’s coming back. He just went to grab another blade to continue to slice up my arms,” you said looking at Steve with fear in your eyes which through him for a loop because you never looked scared.

Before he could respond your capturer knocked Steve over the head with a heavy lead pipe, disorienting him, and grabbed you.

“You can’t leave my dear. You are far too beautiful and make a perfect addition to my dolls,” he said as he flicked the lights on and saw dead bodies of women much like yourself hanging on the walls almost like they were on display. He takes this moment of distraction and starts to drag you away from Steve, but Steve picks up the lead pipe your capturer dropped and hits him over the head with it. He grabbed you and y’all ran.

The warehouse you were in was quite large and held many rooms. Each room you passed was mush like yours with the metal table and restraints. Most still had blood in them which made you sick to your stomach thinking about your own table. Each room held a different torture method. Some had hammers, some had knives like yours, some had electric paddles, and so on and so forth. This guy made it his life’s journey to torture women and you had become his next victim. You were beginning to think you were never going to make it out of there alive.

You heard him coming so you and Steve hid in the nearest room. As soon as you heard him go by you turned around to see the arsenal behind you.

“You know I really wish you had your shield right now,” you said looking at Steve.

“Well Doll, I try to make it a habit not to bring my work on a date,” Steve said turning red at the word he used.

“Uhhh… Date???”

“Night out, chill out, hang out, whatever you want to call it. The point of it is to forget about work and Captain America.”

You looked at him strangely and felt a tingling in stomach. You couldn’t help but like the sound of a date with Steve. What? No. You don’t like Steve like that. He’s your best friend. There’s no way you have those feelings, right?

Before you could think about it any longer you heard a noise and grabbed the closest sharp weapon to you which just so happened to be an axe.

“You know that part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid and everyone hates them for it? This is it,” you stated hunched over looking at Steve.

“Y/n, what are you about to do?” he said looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“You got my back, right?”

“Always Doll.”

“I’m the bait,” you spat out and before he could say anything else you ran into the hall calling out for the sick son of a bitch to come get you.

He turned the corner and came charging towards you. You managed to lift the axe and slice his arm pretty good, but it wasn’t enough. He grabbed you and pulled out his blade.

“You stupid bitch. You could have been part of something beautiful but instead you chose the jock who will through you away like a piece of garbage like they all do,” he spat in your ear.

At that moment Steve jumped out with a sword.

“I would never do such a thing, you are the messed up one here,” Steve retorted.

As your capturer went to stab you in the stomach Steve took the sword and rammed it through your capturer’s stomach effectively killing him and saving you.

He dropped the bloody sword and scooped you up in his arms giving you the biggest hug he could muster.

“Ouch, Steve. Still kind of bleeding out here,” you said wincing and he let you go.

You reached down in the man’s pocket looking for his phone only to be surprised to find your phone. You took and dialed Tony’s number.

“Y/n, hey. Where are you? It’s like 4 in the morning,” Tony said groggily through the phone.

“Yeah sorry about that. Ummm… I don’t know where we are. I need you to trace my phone and come get us.”

“Us? Us who? And how do you not know where you are?”

“I’m with Steve and it’s a long horrible story Tony. I’ll tell you it once I’m back at the tower and not bleeding out where Ii stand.

“Shit, okay. On my way now,” he said as he hung up the phone.

Tony was there in less than minutes and had you in the infirmary in 15. Which is where you were now. Laying in a hospital bed in a hospital gown wishing you were anywhere else. But the 100 stitches in your abdomen were telling you to stay put as well as just about everyone else in the tower. Natasha went into a frenzy wanting to kill who did this to you but you told her Steve already took care of it. She smiled and left you alone with him so you could talk.

“You know you were incredibly stupid for doing that,” Steve said with an expression on his face you couldn’t quite read.

“For one, I told it was going to be stupid and two I knew you would have my back and that was the only way to draw him out to kill him.”

“Well, you can’t do that to me because I love you damn it and I can’t stand to see you hurt,” he said with anger, concern, and sincerity written all over his face.

This confession left you shocked. You had just been pondering the possible feelings you might have for him and now he says he loves you? You couldn’t form any words. Maybe you did love him. He was the only stable close male relationship you have ever maintained in your life. He always saved you and had your back. You loved the time you spent with him. Was this love? The only way you could think to respond was to pull him into a kiss and to your surprise he grabbed your face with his giant hands and deepened the kiss.

You finally parted and you said, “I’m sorry for scaring you, but if we want this to happen you are going to have to get over it because we are both Avengers and it’s the job.”

“You’re going to be the death of me Doll,” he said with a smile as he sat next to you on the hospital bed.

“First, yeah probably. Secondly, as much as I love it, I’m going to need you to stop calling me doll. At least for now. Because when I hear it, all Ii can think about are those poor women and what that psycho was planning for me,” you said with a smirk as you cuddled into his side.

“Got it, sweetheart. I’ll also let Buck now. It’s just kind of an old habit, but I get it.”

You both laid there in each other’s arms until you both fell asleep and the rest of the Avengers started exchanging money on the bets they made on how long it would take you two to admit your feelings for each other. Ultimately Buck and Nat tied and were both the happiest that you guys took the swan dive.

Tag List: Let me know if you want on my Marvel list 

@tomshollandz @buckyappreciationsociety

[acorpseontheground-blog]

hi let me answer 400 fucking questions

1. Name: Jace 2. Nickname(s): i dont have any 3. Birthday: June 1 4. That makes you (age): im almost 15 5. Where were you born (city): Vancouver 6. Location right now (planet ): in my house 7. Shoe size: uh like 8 womens 8. How many piercings?: two, almost pierced my septum 9. Tattoos?: no 10. When you wake up you're: tired and sad 11. When you're about to sleep you're: tired and sad 12. Zodiac sign: gemini 13. Chinese sign: monkey i think 14. Righty or Lefty: righty 15. Innie or Outie: innie 16. School: no Section Two: Looks 17. Nationality: im really white 18. Hair colour: like dirty blonde 20. Weight: idk like 140lbs 21. Height: 5′10 i think 22. Braces? no 23. Glasses? no Section Three: Private Life 24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: yeah 25. If so, who?: uh someone who was not interested in me at all for 7 months  26. If not, do you have a crush on someone?: i mean 27. Who has a crush on you?: i mean  28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf?: no that shit is disgusting dont talk to me if you do that  29. Who was your first kiss: someone that i no longer talk to. dont regret it being them though 30. Who was your last kiss: my bf  31. Are you a virgin?: uh  32. Ever had a threesome before?: no  33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?: no whattheufkc 34. Have you ever been in love?: yes  35. Broken any hearts?: most likely  36. Got your heart broken?: well i broke up with someone idk if that counts as having my heart broken but i was devastated but i had to do it sooo idk   37. Ever liked a friend? yes ive only really liked 2 people and theyve been my friends because i cant trust people 38. What happened? they have liked me back at some point Section Four: Past Relationships 39. How many relationships have you been in?: two 40. How many were serious enough to count: two? 41. Who were those serious ones: first kiss, my bf 42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: uhhhhh ig first kiss 43. What made them different: i really liked their personality and the way they presented/ i was head over heels for them for like idk 3 years 44. What happened: i wasnt mature enough to handle myself 45. Best boy/girlfriend: my fucking GIRLS taylor and claire 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: someone i recently cut off contact with  47. Ever been kissed: yes 48. Who do you want back: uhgdjgkjdfhgkjd goodbye 49. Who do you regret: no one, i think all experiences are good and if i regret someone i would hace never gotten those Experience Points 50. Why?: n/a Section Five: Favourites 51. Song: shit uhhhh like or like like by miniature tigers?? or falling for you by mxmtoom and peachy?? or cherub rock by the smashing pumpkins idk my taste is wack 52. Movie: as you are but i shared it with the person i recently cut off contact with so uh 53. Food: bro. pickles. i even drink the pickle juice when im done with the pickles. 54. Drink: orange crush man 55. Store: shopping stresses me out 56. Television show: uh black mirror? 57. Holiday: hallo fucking ween 58. Book: words on bathroom walls i think 59. Ice cream: cookie dough 60. Sweets: m&m’s 61. Crisps:  wjat 62. Type of music: i listen to a lot? i listen to electronic, indie, alternative, rock, those sad boy hour songs really whatever i have like three different playlists for my tastes 63. Artist: really into teen suicide rn 64. Word: uh 65. Time of day: 1 am outside watching the stars 66. Dressing: like. salad dressing or clothes 67. Alcoholic drink:  i dont drink anymore tryna stay away from that so i dont revert 68. Colour(s): i love blue 69. Piece of clothing: my fidlar hoodie that concert was wild i got punched in the head 70. Character: DELSIN ROWE  71. Smell: campfire 72. Shampoo: idk i use whatever is in the shower 73. Soap: i use whatever 74. Smiley:  idk 75. Board game: definitely monopoly i live out the fantasy of being rich 76. Sport: i dont care 77. Number: i still dont care 78. Quote: idk  79. Animal: still a wolf shut up meanies >::((((( 80. Actor: idc 82. Vegetable: broccoli ofc 83. Fruit: oranges  84. Place to be: on the hill 85. Thing in your room: my guitar and my ukulele my fuckibng babies dont touch them 86. Gum: uh 87. Shape: uh> 88. Country: uh? 89. Mall: i hate malls 90. Car: idc wow im boring 91. Boy's name: br idk  92. Girl's name: idk 93. Family member: my sister sh 94. Restaurant: pepper lunch is kind of the shit 95. Movie place: we literally only have one movie theatre 96. Person to go to the movies with: my friends 97. Noise: idk 98. Brand of shoe: vans theyre comfy 99. Brand of clothing: idk 100. Body part of a chicken: the gobble part the fuck is that called 101. Swear word: uh? fuck? 102. Month: october 103. Possession: ukulele and guitar again 104. Team: ? 105. Season: winter it’s cold and people can’t bully me for being pale 106. Radio station: who listens to the radio 107. Magazine: who reads magazines 108. Favourite grade: none they were all stressful 109. Least favourite grade: grade 1 110. Teacher: mme martin 111. Least favourite teacher: mme leclerc 112. Subject: band 113. Subject to talk about: music Section Six: Family 114. Who's your mum?: my mom 115. Who's your dad?: my dad 116. Any step-parents?: no 117. Any brothers?: yes 118. Any Sisters?: yes 120. Coolest: brother/sister 121. Loudest: my parents fuck 122. Best relative: uh 123. Worse relative: someone who hit on my sister 124. Do you get along with your parents? sometimes 125. With your siblings? yes 126. Does anyone understand you? lmao ugh no one understands me;((((( 127. Do you have any pets?:  yes 128. If so, what kind and name? dog, cat, rosie, thea 129. If not, what do you want as a pet?: i want a snake so bad Section Seven: School 131. Are you still in school? yes 132. Did you drop out?: yes 133. Your current GPA: idk what that is 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: both, sometimes we cant afford anything so like i just dont eat 135. ABC's?: what 136. Favorite class: band 137. Play any sports at school?: no 138. Are you popular? HAHA no 139. Favourite memory: uh when i failed three classes i loved that :) 140. Most humiliating moment: idk 141. Most funniest moment: bro idk 142. Most scared moment: when i thought my school was gonna be shot up lmfao Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear 145. Chicken: bacawk 146. Dog: bark 147. Christina Aguilera: oUOouIA 148. Ricky Martin: who 149. 50 cent: bottle full of bub 150. Poop: uh 151. Beach: woosh 152. Desert: the sound of sand? 153. Water: woosh 154. Osama: oh  155. Love: the sound of when you are holding your breath and then you exhale because they left but you didnt realize you were holding your breath 156. Your little brother: i  157. Butt: what 158. Clowns: get that shit away 159. Wonder: wahtr 16o. Brown: brrpoqn 161. Banana: peeling noise 162. Sex: moaning?? 163. Parents: yelling 164. Homosexuals: what 165. God: nothing Section Nine: Do you believe in 166. God: idk not really 167. Heaven: idk 168. Devil: idk 169. Hell: idk 170: Boogy man: no 171. Closet Monsters: no but im always paranoid someone is in my closet 172. Fortune tellings: no 173. Magic:  idk 174. Love at first sight: idk 175. Ghosts: yes 176. Voo-doo dolls: no? 177. Reincarnation: maybe 178. Yourself: no Section Ten: Do you 179. Smoke: not cigs, i’ll vape but i dont have one of my own, and if you got weed and want me to smoke it with you sure 180. Do drugs: weed? 181. Drink alcohol: not anymore 182. Cuss: yeah 183. Sing in the shower: yeah 184. Like school: no 185. Want to get married: yeah 186. Type with all of your fingers: on the computer not really only my middle and index finger 187. Think you're attractive: not really 188. Drink and drive: no ive had some horrible experiences 189. Snore: i dont think so 190. Sleep walk: used to 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: yes omg  Section Eleven: Have you ever 192. Flashed someone: no 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: haha yeah 194. Told that person how you felt: yeah 195. Been arrested: n o 196. Gone to jail or juve: no 197. Skateboarded: yes im so fucking bad at it though 198. Skinny dipped: no 199. Rock climbed: yes 200. Killed someone: no 201. Watched porn: yes 202. Gone on a road trip: yes 203. Went out of the country: yes 204. Talked back to an adult: yes 205. Broken a law: yes 206. Got pulled over: no i cant drive 208: Cried to get out of trouble: no 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: yeah  210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: no 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: no 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: yeah 213. Moon someone: no 214. Shop-lifted: no 215. Worked at McDonald's: no 216. Eaten a dog: no 217. Give money to a homeless person: yeah 218. Glued your hand to yourself:  no 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: yeah 220. Had a one night stand: no 221. Smoked: not cigs 222. Done drugs: weed 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: i dont think so? 224. Slap someone for being stupid: lightly 225. Had cyber sex: no 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: at one point in my life i wanted to die because of it 227. Caught someone doing something: yeah 228. Played a game that removes clothing: no 229. Cried during a movie: yeah 230. Cried over someone: yeah 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: no 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: no 233. Ran away from home: yeah 234. Cheated on a test: yeah Section Twelve: Would you 235. Bungee jump: yes pls 236. Sky dive: yes 237. Swim with dolphins: yes 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: no 239. Try to be the opposite sex: oh 240. Lie to the police: no 241. Run from the police: idk depends on the situation probably not 242. Lie to your parents:yeah 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: no ew 244. Be an exotic dancer: no 245. NQ- Kill the president: dont have a president Section Thirteen: Are you 246. Shy: not shy 247. Loud: no 248. Nice: i think? im also kind of an asshole 249: Outgoing: not outgoing 250: Quiet: kind of 251. Mean: sometimes 252. Emotional: yeah? 253. Sensitive: no 254. Gay: no 255. Strong: uh idk 256. Weak: not physically 257. Caring: yes 258. Dangerous: no 259. Crazy: no 260. Spontaneous: no? 261. Funny: ive been told 262. Sweet: idk 263. Sharing: yeah 264. Responsible: yeah 265. Trustworthy: yeah 266. Open-minded: yeah 267. Creative: i guess 268. Cute: uh no 269. Slick: idk 270. Smart: no 271. Dumb: no 272. Evil: no 273. Ghetto: no 274. Classy:  no 275. Photogenic: sometimes 276. Dependable: yeah ive made some mistakes though 277. Greedy: no 278. Ugly: no? 279. Messy: kinda 280. Neat: kinda 281. Perverted: uh well im not asexual 282. Silly: what 283. A B****: sure 284. A Good Listener: yeah 285. A Fighter: yeah 286. A Party Animal: no 287. A Game Freak: i like games 288. A Computer Freak: no Section Fourteen: Future 289. Dream job: musician 290. Dream house: fuck idk 291. Husband/Wife: someone i love 292. Kids: like 2 293. Names: , 294. Pets: doberman pls 295. Car: idk 296. Age you would want to get married: like 30 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: idk 298. Honeymoon: idk Section Fifteen: Your friends 299. Best friends: taylor, claire 300. Known the longest: taylor 301. Craziest: taylor 302. Loudest: claire 303. Shyest: taylor 304. Best hair: i love them all 305. Best eyes: taylor has like multicoloured eyes 306. Best body: bro no 307. Most Athletic: claire 308. Hot-Tempered: both 309. Most impatient: idk 310. Shortest: taylor 311. Tallest: claire 312. Skinniest: uh skinnier is taylor shes smaller in general 313. Best singer: idk neither of them sing 314. Funniest: both 315. Can always make you laugh: both 316. Wish you talked to more: i have like 3 friends so keira 317. Wish you saw more: keira 318. Who drives you insane after a while: claire 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: taylor 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': no 321. Whose always been there when you need them: taylor and claire 322. Who is like your family: taylor and claire 323. How many friends do you have?: 4 324. How many are really close? 2 Section Sixteen: The last 325. Thing you ate: burger 326. Thing you drank: water 327. Thing you wore: im in shorts and a hoodie right now? 328. Thing you did:  dog walk 329. Place you went: dog park 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: my ears 331. Person you saw: my mom 332. Person you hugged: my mom  333. Person you kissed: my bf 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: idk but id like to beat some people to a juicy pulp 335. Person you talked to online: this bitch thunder that is annoying we dont talk anymore shut the fuck up bro 336. Person you talked to on the phone: my call log says my mom 337. Song you heard: beach walk by whitewoods 338. Show you saw: like concert? fidlar 339. Time you fought with your parents: idk like today 340. Time you fought with a friend: idk 341. Words you said: “yeah”  Section Seventeen: Now 343. What are you eating: burger 344. What are you drinking: water 345. What are you thinking: miss 346. What are you wearing: shorts and a hoodie 347. What are you doing: writing this 349. Hair: messy? im sick 350. Mood: gross 351. Listening to:  nothing 352. Talking to anyone: no 353. Watching anything: mr nightmare Section Eighteen: Yes or No 354. Are you a vegetarian: no 355. Are you a carnivore: no 356. Are you heterosexual: no 357. Do you like penguins: yes 358. Do you write poetry: sometimes? i dont share it 359. Do you see stupid people: yes 360. You + Me: uh 361. Do you like the Osbournes: never really watched it 362. Can you see flying pigs: egrhf 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: no 364. Are you from Afghanistan: no 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: no  366. Are you a zombie: no 367. Am i annoying you: yes 368. Do you bite your nails: yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: no 371. Have you touched someone's private part: yes why would you word it like private part Section Nineteen: This or That 372. Winter or Summer: winter 373. Spring or Autumn: autumn im quirky hahahahahahha 374. Shakira or Britney: neither 375. MTV or VH1: neither 376. Black or White: mix of both is good 377. Yellow or Pink: pink 378. Football or Basketball: basketball 379. Mobile Phone or Pager: mobile phone 380. Pen or Pencil: pencil i feel safer 381. Cold or Hot: cold it’s easier to warm up than to cool down 382. Tattoos or Piercings: piercings but i want a small tattoo 383. Inside or Outside: uh both 384. Weed or Alcohol: weed 385. Coke or Pepsi: coke 386. Tape or Glue: tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: mcdonalds Section Twenty: Opinions 388. What do you think about classical music: love it! 389. About boy bands: sure! 390. About suicide: i dont think people understand that someone who is suicidal, their perception is collapsed. even though they subconsciously know they have other options, they believe with every bit of them that is their one and only choice.  391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: choke  392. About teen pregnancy: make sure you can handle the child and have support. if not, get an abortion or put it up for adoption. seriously. only keep it if it’s something you want, not because you were being shamed. 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: on hastings shooting up heroin idk  394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: taylor 395. About gay men: love yall Section Twenty-One: 396. Do you have a website: no 397. Current weather right now: uh cloudy 398. Current time:  8:15 pm 399. Any shout outs: no one follows me 400. Last thoughts: fuck,