#learned that when my uncle died nearly 20 years ago my mom took all his stuff

[weirwoodforest]

Tomorrow will be a hard day… we have 3 storage units from the time my family briefly became houseless in 2015. The place we found was too small, so a lot of our stuff is still there. The storage units are going up in price, so I’m going tomorrow to try and deal with the smallest, least full unit. This has a lot of my parents old stuff, like my dad’s custom made surfboard from the 70s-80s (important things that aren’t vital/necessary, etc) but most importantly… many of my mom’s things. There’s a yellow jewelry box in there that was her favorite and broke during the move… she didn’t want to throw it away and wanted to see if we could fix it, so it’s been sitting in there. But I have to deal with it, and it’s going to be really hard.

Good thoughts/vibes are appreciated. I’ll have some help going through the stuff, so I won’t be alone. But it’s still going to be difficult. Especially if I discover that yellow jewelry box is broken beyond repair and I have to throw it away….

[momentspause]

My favorite uncles

There was one cool uncle on either side of the family, each totally unique in their own ways.

Bruce was my Dad's brother and, for that family, hell on wheels. A "rambling wreck from Georgia Tech," he was an engineer for various oil and gas companies. While he might have been from Illinois, he spent most of his life living in Houston (when he wasn't overseas working on projects). He had an RV. He loved the Houston Oilers. He was the uncle who, when he'd visit us when I was a kid, had no problems leaving copies of Hustler out in the guest bedroom. Enjoyed cigars, drinking, BBQs, had a Ruger Redhawk, bought a PS 1 when they first came out, had a converted oil barrel and paddle he'd use for making his BBQ beans, loved his dogs (especially the little ones), was a member of MENSA, knew how to have a damn good time and dammit, he lived life fully. he loved my Aunt Pat with his entire being. He fell in love with her like he'd been hit with a thunderbolt. I remember her telling me the story of the first weekend they spent together. He'd paid for a trip to New Orleans. My aunt got violently ill and he spent the weekend basically with her in the hotel bathroom. They were married within months after that - a wedding I totally remember as child, as I think only the kids who attended (his nieces and me) were sober at the ceremony, my parents included. That was a hell of a party - they took over their condo's pool area, everyone helped with food and booze and nobody gave a damn. Carefree in living, professional at work, and a mess when it came to taking care of plenty of things that would have made life easier for those he left behind. He died about 20 years ago.

My uncle Steve passed last week. "Uncle Captain Steve" was the name I gave him when I was a child, because he had a sailboat he would take out onto Traverse Bay and if we were lucky, we'd get to go. He'd sail it on some of the Great Lakes - in fact, he taught sailing at the Great Lakes Maritime Academy. I knew him more for his photography though. A strong early memory was a lunch at his house with my mom and other relatives there. I remember the house he had with his then-wife Madonna, a painter and nurse. I remember how beautiful the house was, and how it was filled with paintings and photos - especially nudes. I remember his teasing me for looking at them as intently as I seemed to be (and probably was). He was the cool uncle who would take annual trips to Paris and New Orleans for creative regeneration, who enjoyed knowing owners of various restaurants and wineries in the region, who taught photography at the community college in Traverse City for nearly 30 years (and was the head of two different departments during his tenure there).

To me, he had a more laid-back coolness about him, acting and living with intention but without urgency. So lacking was his urgency, in fact, that numerous promises of time or gifts were never accomplished. These were forgiven as "that's who he is." When I was young and wandering with a camera, I remember that he taught me that cameras are merely tools and that you could create good photos with any camera (he'd bring his collection of random cameras to his classes for these demonstrations, apparently). When I was learning photography more seriously, I remember showing him my photos, and learning how to take critiques on them. Whenever we'd visit my grandparents, we'd visit him - after all, he lived in the same town. He took care of them as best as he could, including managing my grandfather's estate. He moved into my great-aunt's house after she passed, a house which was only a couple miles away from another great-aunt's farm. Family was accessible there, and that was a place where I felt that sense more keenly than many other places.

I've learned lessons from both of them. I learned a lot about life and how to live it with fun and joy. I learned the downsides of their attitudes as well.

I still miss my uncle Bruce. I will miss my uncle Steve. But, just as it was when they were alive, I'll miss them for different reasons, and will have distinctly different feelings about them when I think of them.

[dabblescrawl]

Once Bitten, Twice Shy - Part One

Request by @ratatata-ah While Oscar is incarcerated, the reader took care of Cesar and when Oscar gets out he and the reader (Monse’s cousin) meet for the first time.  Oscar quickly becomes infatuated with the reader and invites her to his “welcome home” party to get to know her more.  The reader is shy and Oscar is very flirtatious trying to get her to open up more.  Long story short, the series could be about Oscar falling in love with the reader 

Monse and her crew had been friends since birth it seemed.  In truth, I suppose it was grade school when they were all kinders and the rag-tag group had formed.  Monse, always her style, had been the outspoken one who took quickly to learning.  Cesar had kept up with her academically and they had often found themselves in the same groups assigned by their teachers.  The pair’s quick wit and blunt personalities had matched right away.  Cesar was also a protector.  Even as small children Ruby and Jamal had been in need of that.  And so the small group of wildly different perspectives had formed.  

Sitting in the Diaz house now watching them argue about the rules for Clue, I rolled my eyes.  Their little group seemed to conflict more than they agreed, and yet the soon to be high schoolers seemed tight as ever.  Often when you were watching them spend time together like this you were slightly jealous of their tight bond.  Despite any bickering or arguments, the group always had each other’s backs.  They protected and supported one another.  The world be damned and destroyed if it tried to hold down any one of the four.

Many times I’d wished my friendships were like that.  Of course they weren’t.  Sure I had friends but I am a continuous giver without much reciprocation.  I am a part of several friend groups due to my kind spirit and personality, but none of those groups ever felt like my own, not the way the Core 4 belonged to each other.  It probably was related to my hesitant and unsure nature when it came to sharing myself with others.  It was easier to be a yes woman and do what was asked of me than build any personal connections.

Shaking away the thoughts of self pity and jealousy, because those never resulted in anything good, I elected to see what was still in the fridge from my last shopping trip.  Opening the door I saw a few things but nothing of substance left.  I nodded to myself, grabbing the keys off the countertop and heading towards the door.

“I’m going to the store,” I announced, my words unheard over the game, “Ay!” I shouted over their voices to try again.  Four sets of eyes trained on me.  “Cesar and Monse, any requests from the store for food this week?” Both preteens shook their heads negative.  “Ok, well I’m going now then, and then when I get back…”

“Everybody better get their asses outside to help carry it in.” They answered.

I nodded, “And then everybody is going home,”  which was answered by 4 sets of eye rolls.  “Eh, eh, it’s a school night,” four more nods.  “Last call on requests because…”

“I’m only going once” they echoed again, cutting me off.

“Awww,” I replied sweetly tugging at Monse’s check who was closest to me, “I have trained you so well.” I giggled and headed out the door as the bickering started again.

The mothering thing had come naturally to me, but I guess that was to be expected, I had raised myself from a young age.  When Uncle Monty first started long hauls he was only gone overnight and I’d gone to stay with Monse.  But the money was better and I was free anyways so nights turned to weekends, and weekends, turned to weeks, and those weeks were sometimes continuous.  I’d lived there through most of high school and simply stayed after I graduated three years ago.  I’d always been able to go out on a limb for either Monse or Cesar and be more assertive, but when it came to myself that was a skill I lacked.

After Cesar’s brother had gotten locked up, he’d been a mess.  How was a 10 year old kid supposed to take care of himself?  And the truth was, he wasn’t.  In fact, it was by some miracle at all that he’d been overlooked and allowed to continue to live outside of the foster system himself.  And I intended to keep him that way.  Sure, he was alone a lot, but the Core 4 and myself also tried to have him around as much as possible.  So really, he wasn’t alone all that much more than you or Monse.  The thought of foster care just did too much to disrupt his life so you’d made it your mission to make sure it didn’t happen to either of them.

Pulling the coffee off the pot and pouring it into the cup I slid my phone out of my pocket and speed dialed 2.  “Hello” came the groggy voice on the other end.  

“Morning, sleepy head” he smiled into the phone, “Have you taken a shower yet?”  The voice mumbled an affirmative.  “What’d you have for breakfast?” The voice slurped into the phone as if to answer the question.

Mouth clearly full, the answer was garbled, “Cereal”.

I nodded to myself, “Brushed your teeth?”

“YES MOM” was answered from the frustrated half yell.

“Listen here friend,” I started, “it’s a call or a visit, you want your mornings to yourself you just answer.” 

“I know” Cesar conceded, “I have to get dressed so I’ll be ready when everybody gets here.  

“Have a great day, learn something new, and…be good” we finished in unison.  “Bye, companero”

“Bye”

I hung up and took the first deep gulp of piping hot coffee.  Ok, one down, one to go.  I marched off towards Monse’s room where I completed almost the same routine with much more resistance from Monse than Cesar had given me.  The teen years were going to be fun.

With everyone off to school you hurried around to tidy up the house, finish getting ready for work, and barely made it out the door on time.

Monse had just left for writing camp for the summer.  For the first time in a long time, there wasn’t a kid in the house for you to take care of.  You’d picked up extra shifts, carefully scheduling them when Cesar should be asleep or with friends so that he wouldn’t be alone all the time.  

As seemed to be my norm, I had done some favors for my friends this morning and was completely behind when I had wanted to leave.  I texted Cesar apologizing and letting him know I would make a late lunch, instead of noon as we had planned.  No response yet, I hoped he hadn’t decided to eat without me. 

I hurried to finish getting ready and chose to leave the house with soaking wet hair.  I mean Cesar has seen me before, no need to waste anymore time getting prepped, we were just having lunch.

I pulled into the drive and noticed quite a few more cholos in the yard.  I frowned, that’s weird, sometimes different homies come around to check on Cesar, but never this many.  Something had to be going on.

I stepped out of the car and headed for the house.  Opening the door I yelled for Cesar, “Hey, Cesar, just me.  I’ll get lunch started!” I made my way into the kitchen without really taking a look around, “Also, what’s going on, there’s like a bunch of people outside.”  I pulled the ingredients for lunch from the cabinets and the fridge with ease, after all it’s not my first time cooking here.

“Uh, Y/N” Cesar said, seemingly hesitant near the fridge.

“What’s up dude” I smiled and continued about my business.

“And who do you think you are?” a deep, booming, voice came from behind where Cesar stood. 

I turned and my jaw dropped to see Cesar’s older brother Spooky behind him.  Blinking a few times, I gathered myself.

“Uh, hi, Spooky” I started, then gained a little more confident and raised my voice above a whisper, “You probably don’t know me, I am Monse’s cousin, Y/N.” You paused as the information didn’t seem to answer his question, his face hard and betrayed no emotion.  “Um, I have been watching out for Cesar since you’ve been gone.” I finished.  

“Yeah, Oscar, she’s been awesome.  She checks on me every day, and does the grocery shopping, and well most of the cooking too.” Cesar started his words tumbling out in a rush.

“Monse’s cousin?” he asks.

I nod, “Yeah, my mom is Uncle Monty’s, that’s Monse’s dad, sister.  I didn’t move to Freeridge full time until she died” I shrugged, it was old news. 

He nodded as if taking in this new information.  “Well thanks for taking care of my mano'' he said, placing his hand on Cesar’s shoulder.

“Now I get why everyone is outside” I answered, turning back to the food, “well” I said clicking my teeth and surveying the contents of the fridge.  “I don’t think I have what we need to serve everybody. But I can do lunch for the three of us.”  I said turning back to the Diaz brothers and waving my pointer finger in a circle at each of us and each nodded in turn.

“Give me like” I made a calculating face waving my hands in that little up down motion for about “20 minutes and it’ll be on the table.  Give or take.” I amended my previous statement.  

When I finished lunch, I laid it out on the table and mostly listened to Cesar detail to Spooky everything that had gone on since he’d been locked up.  There was a lot to catch up on in Cesar’s life, and that of the block.  Mostly I was quiet but every now and then Cesar would turn to me for a detail or I’d prod him about a subject that he’d forgotten to include.  Spooky would look at me intently each time I did speak and I couldn’t figure out the look he was wearing when he did.  

After lunch I cleaned up and was headed for home.  “Ay, Y/N” Spooky stopped me before I left for the afternoon.  “We’re having a party tomorrow night.  Beers on me, thanks for taking such good care of Cesar.”

Standing in your room you weren’t quite sure what you should wear.  Parties weren’t really your thing after all.  The concept was always appealing but the practice was always less than desirable.  At the time that you had accepted it had sounded like a fine idea and now you weren’t really looking forward to it at all.  You weren’t even sure you’d know anyone there at all except Spooky.  Well and possibly Cesar, but, the idea of drinking with a nearly 14 year old made your motherly, legal, brain uncomfortable.  You laughed at yourself, because a Santos party was the place to be concerned about legality. 

Sighing and looking back at your bed you decided to play eeny meeny miney mo with yourself.  If you didn’t choose soon you’d chicken out entirely.  I wanted to try to be a little more adventurous and also I had told Spooky I would be there, if I don’t go it’s like backing out on a promise.  In the end you ended up with a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a strappy but flowy tank.  My hair isn’t usually as unruly as Monse’s, but today I had no such luck.  I threw it in a couple of tight braids and hurried to put on some make up.  I looked at myself in the mirror on my door as I tied my converse.  Close enough, I thought.

When I got to the Diaz house I was grateful for 3 things, my outfit allowed me to stay relatively cool and comfortable even in the California summer evening, I had chosen to walk because the curb was packed with cars, and Cesar was right out front.  If it hadn’t been for his catching my eye, I probably would have turned around before ever stepping foot into the party.  There were a lot of people here, like A LOT of people.

Cesar had taken me to the backyard as he’s been instructed by Spooky and cracked open my choice of beers.  I was both afraid to drink too much and too socially awkward not to get a little liquor courage in my veins.  “Next, stop, Spooky” Cesar announced.

“What?” I asked eyebrows furrowed.

“He said he wanted to know when you got here, he was by the DJ last time I saw him” Cesar turned and began snaking through the people in the yard and a beat or two later I was following him.

Read Part Two Here

[child-of-sunshine]

Just gotta rant for a minute so this is going under a cut

I can’t stand the way tumblr in general talks about “rich people” (which they can’t define to save their fucking lives) and particularly when they mention “millionaires” as though it actually means something significant in terms of wealth. 

First, no one seems to understand that by today’s inflated standards, a million dollars really isn’t that much. A quick google search will tell me that the average “middle-income” parent in America will spend over 250k to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. If a couple has 4 kids, they’re already spending over a million dollars on those kids. Yes, that’s over 18 years, but it’s still meaningful.

If a person makes 100k, which is supposedly the 85th percentile of income, it only takes them 10 years to make a million dollars. And yes, obviously they’re spending money too, and it’s not like their savings or their net worth are going to be a million in that time, but people don’t even seem to comprehend that their earnings over that time would literally be a million. Someone earning the average American income, let’s say 50k because I get conflicting information from various sources, would only take 20 years to earn a million dollars.

And calling “millionaires” (putting that in quotes because people (a) do NOT understand the difference between net worth and actual liquid assets or even income) rich, particularly in the context of the “eat the rich” rhetoric, is ridiculous. I know this site has a serious problem with black-and-white thinking, but for fuck’s sake.

Let’s take a look at my parents.

My dad grew up in a relatively low-income household. His mother’s grandparents came straight from Italy with a few dollars in their pockets and nothing else. Her family struggled to get food on the table at times. She worked very hard as a seamstress and married a man who had a good job at Ford back when that meant actual benefits including into retirement, and so they managed to raise two boys without having to worry too much about being able to afford food or housing. They saved like crazy and spent the minimum that they possibly could on themselves, so that when they reached retirement, they had a pretty decent amount of savings for the rest of their lives and could finally enjoy some luxury vacations and get a small but nice house in Florida.

My mom grew up in a truly low-income household. She was the youngest of five siblings living in a tiny, shitty town in Nowhere, Michigan, with two parents who smoked constantly, in a house that sat next to some kind of horrifying mystery waste pond (she and both of her sisters had cancer, my mom at just 36, and one of her brothers died from some kind of unknown neurological deterioration). Her father got TB and spent time in a sanitarium, after which he became a withdrawn alcoholic and then died relatively young. Her mother became depressed, stopped working, and died of cancer. My mom lost both of her parents in her early 20s, before she even met my father.

Both of my parents were gifted with the great privileges of great brains and being white. Even in their crappy hick town in the middle of nowhere, my mom managed to be in the top of her class (of 56 whole people) in high school and earned a scholarship to a state university, literally the only way she could have afforded to attend. My dad worked to pay for his college as far as I know (because back then you could actually do that). They both got bachelor’s degrees. My dad became an engineer, a good career, and quickly found a job with a relatively new, small local company. He worked extremely hard, long hours for years and moved up to being a manager, and the company has grown a lot over the 25+ years he’s now worked there, with the result that he now makes a low six-figure salary. My mom took a computer programming course after realizing her journalism degree wouldn’t get her much paid work, and has worked as a programmer for 25+ years now, switching jobs sometimes, usually making somewhere in the 60-70k range in the last decade or so.

My mother got pregnant with my sister around the time she and my dad got engaged. She was working a crappy programming job and he’d barely started as an engineer, making nowhere near six figures. They lived in a trailer park, in a trailer with a hole in the floor and steps that were a safety hazard. She’d spent some time living with her sister, who’s 13 years older than her and never had children (thus had a house and some savings). My dad’s mother, the seamstress, made my mom’s wedding dress for free as long as my mom bought the material for it, which was just about all they could afford. They had a nice, small wedding when my sister was about 2 (she was afraid of my mom’s dress lmao) and one of my cousins took the pictures.

Four years after my sister was born, my parents had saved up enough to put a down payment on our house, a moderate-sized family home in a suburban neighborhood that was just being built. The house was a little over 200k. She got pregnant with me and the house was finished just after I was born.

My mom got cancer when I was 2 years old. They haven’t talked to me much about it. Her sister spent a lot of money to buy her a really nice wig made of animal hair (which, unfortunately, she could rarely wear because it made her very itchy). She went through surgery, chemo, and radiation. She spent months sick as hell and miserable, while trying to raise two young daughters. Thankfully, they’d saved enough to be able to handle the medical bills, particularly with my dad’s good job that had good benefits and, by then, was paying him a pretty decent salary. My mom recovered, thankfully (over 20 years in remission now!).

In 2008, when the recession hit, my mom lost her job quickly. She tried finding new ones but couldn’t. No one was hiring programmers, they were getting rid of them. Her depression got a lot worse. I was in high school and depressed myself (in large part because of the situation at home, though my parents don’t know it, that became suicidal depression a while afterward), and they had to start paying for therapy for me. My sister was in college and had to try to pay for it herself because my parents’ college fund for her hadn’t gone as far as they’d hoped. My dad’s company supplies machines to auto manufacturers. They were worried. They laid off some people, thankfully not my dad, and others had to take pay cuts. My parents started sitting down and seriously going over finances. My mom and I had to completely quit figure skating, my only physical stress outlet (like I said, that contributed a LOT to the severe depression). We had to cut down the grocery bills and think about not buying gifts for family members’ birthdays and such. My grandparents, happily retired by then with good savings, paid off the rest of our mortgage and told my dad to pay them back without interest whenever he could, so that no matter what happened with the jobs, we at least wouldn’t have to worry about losing our house. I listened to my parents scream at each other over money and I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights.

Guess what? My dad is a millionaire. Definitely not in liquid assets, but in net worth he probably just barely hits 1 million. He now makes a low six-figure salary and when the economy is doing okay, he invests some of it in the stock market, mostly in low-risk stocks that are guaranteed to have payouts (I don’t know a lot about this, so that’s all I’ll say). He inherited/learned his dad’s extreme money-saving ways and saves as much as possible. He’s an engineer and very handy, so whenever possible he does home and car repairs himself to save a lot of money. I managed to get a scholarship that covered almost all of my undergrad tuition, I lived at home for half of undergrad and all of med school to save money, I worked in retail in undergrad and as an EMT in med school to pay for some of my own stuff, and they didn’t pay for any of my med school tuition, so that’s it for their educational expenses for me. My mom’s had a good, stable job for the last few years that pays in the low 80k range, I think. We live in a house worth ~250k that we now fully own thanks to my grandparents. 

A few years ago, my dad’s brother bought a crappy, tiny, nearly-condemned cabin in the woods up north for about 20k (seriously, it was shit). He and my dad put in a few hundred dollars and a TON of time and manual labor to fix it up, and now we pay half the bills on it and both of our families use it for vacations. We have a small (19ft) boat that my dad bought as a gift for my mom when she had cancer--he got it extremely cheap from a guy who’d bought it, barely used it, and just wanted rid of it. It’s a 1994 and full of problems now, but we’ve managed to keep it going (barely, at times) and my dad has taken really good care of it over the years. A friend of my dad’s got him into snowmobiling about a decade ago and once his brother bought the cabin and they fixed it up, my dad got a cheap, crappy used snowmobile, which he used for a few years before reselling it and upgrading to an actually nice, new one, because yeah, he could afford it. He’s upgraded a couple times, good for him. When I actually have the time off, I go up with him in the winter and ride one of his old ones that he kept and fixed after it had an engine problem. It doesn’t cost much to renew the trail permits each year and I borrow my uncle’s gear for riding, so other than the initial cost of the sleds, it really costs us nothing to go riding (gas is extremely negligible in snowmobiles, they can go 120+ miles on a single 8 gallon tank, and we store them ourselves at the cabin so we don’t pay for that). We store the boat in our garage at home (like I said, it’s small) so other than the permit and gas for that when we take it out, again, really no continuous expense.

My parents pay all of their taxes without trying to do any bullshit work-arounds. They don’t have a lawyer or a tax accountant or a financial advisor, my dad does it all himself. He keeps track of all of our finances himself. We don’t pay a landscaping service or a cleaning service or any of that crap, we do it all ourselves like any other middle-class family. My mom donates regularly to charities for cancer, animal rescues, and injured veterans. 

But to tumblr, incapable of seeing nuance, we’re “one-percenters (absolutely nowhere near true) who own a house and have a ‘vacation home’ and a boat and recreational vehicles” so we’re pretty much just as bad as Bezos, because anyone who isn’t actively struggling to put food on the table or in horrible medical debt because of our disaster of a system is apparently “rich” and there’s no such thing as shades of gray.

[journeydb]

January 19 2019 Barcelona

Happy Birthday to me!  What a fun day I had, beginning in the morning when I met Jessica and her husband, Alex, and daughter, Laura, at the Diagonal Mar shopping center for tea and croissants at a cafe, followed by the video arcade, where we played games for an hour and I re-connected with my inner child.

Tonight Bruce took me out to dinner with our dear friend Jackie and her wonderful children Erick and Isabela.  The restaurant, A ContraLuz, is located in Les Corts, where they live, and the food was creative and delicious, while the service was impeccable.  We had SUCH interesting conversations!  These young people  are passionate about life and learning and they love speaking English with us to improve their fluency, which is quite good.  Jackie struggles a bit  more but she is really improving a lot.

After dinner we took photos of many different combinations of us together, in different parts of the dining room, because we were almost  the only people left there and because the decor was so unique.

My life’s journey, from Vermont, where I was born in Newport, through Wilmington Massachusetts, where we moved  when I  was  five, and, except for five years that we lived in Ohio, where I lived through my high school  graduation until I left for college. 

My family has always been the bedrock of my life and still is, especially my sisters Kathi and Fran.  Being the second eldest of eight children, and the eldest girl with more responsibility than my older brother, was challenging, and I began caring for my younger siblings when I was only five years old.  After our parents died, Mom in 1995 and Dad in 1996, and our oldest brother, Frank, in 2004, I became the “matriarch” of what had become a very large family and have always done my best to be with all the family members, traveling to the east coast at least once a year and whenever there was a need for my assistance in any way, and bringing them to Colorado to get to know the beautiful state where I had settled.

In 1972 I married my high school sweetheart, began working in the computer industry as a programmer, and then, after five years, he and I moved to Colorado because our marriage was “on the rocks” and we thought a change of venue might save it. We were wrong, we broke up, he moved back to Massachusetts, and I stayed, because Colorado had become my home and I felt like I belonged there. Also, my cousins, the Panariello family, lived in Golden and I had always been close to them, so I felt like I had family there, at least until everyone but Debbie moved to Chicago because of my uncle’s new job, and, as a result, Debbie and I became as close as sisters.

I met Bruce while working at NBI, a company where he was one of the founders, and we started dating a year after I was divorced and six months after he was divorced.  I left NBI  to work for 3M in marketing  support, covering a nine state region and traveling more than 60% of the time.  I returned to NBI when 3M left the computer business, and worked in NBI’s corporate office as a Marketing Support trainer, for three years until I went into computer sales, briefly for another word processing company’s distributor, and then for Sci-Pro, which was acquired  by ATV Systems, a California Point of Sale company looking to expand in the hospitality systems business.  My territory included Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Arizona, Utah, and Nevada.

I made many friends all over the western states, some of whom are still good friends today, and learned a lot about how to get around on my own in different places, as well as how to negotiate with people and mediate between people so that everyone’s needs are met, as much as possible, at least, and I matured greatly during this time of my life, but it was also stressful and exhausting to be on the road so much.

After almost three years with ATV I left to join Honeywell Systems, where I was only responsible for sales in Colorado, and that was a relief, since the traveling was interfering with my personal life.  I liked Honeywell and my bosses there until, after three years, a new, young arrogant branch manager replaced the one who had hired me and we didn’t get along, so I took a sabbatical and found a new career by becoming an entrepreneur.

During the sabbatical I was in Portland, Maine, visiting my sister, Kathi, and she and I were having lunch with our mom when I went looking for a book for Kathi’s daughter, Kristin, and walked into the Ecology House store, where I fell in love with the products, the vibe, and the possibility of becoming my own  boss.  Shortly after returning to Boulder I called the owners and suggested they consider a franchise operation with me being the first franchise owner and they came to Boulder to work out the details and help me find a space in a good location. 

With Bruce as a financial partner and my unofficial IT manager, I raised enough other capital to  launch the business and we opened the Boulder store in June of 1988, the Denver store two years later, which we closed within a year because it was unprofitable and a drain on the business, and a holiday store in Crossroads Shopping Center for a month in December 1991.

During this time as a business owner I joined Boulder Business and Professional Women and made many wonderful friends through that organization, many of whom are in my life today.

The business was my “baby” until Bruce and I got married in 1992 and Hobie, my real baby, came along a year later and, after a year of trying to run the business and be a mother at the same time, which was exhausting, my landlord raised the rent so high that I had no other option but to try to sell the business, which wasn’t possible, so I closed it.  I was sad to say goodbye  to Ecology House but happy to be a full-time mom.  One thing that helped me through this transition was the women’s support group I had begun with one of my best friends, Theresa, which changed over the years as people joined and left, but we always had a core group of “Soul Sisters” to help one another through life’s ups and downs.

Those years when Hobie was young were the happiest of my life and I also began volunteering a lot with organizations like Reading to End Racism, Boulder County I Have a Dream, Boulder Friends of UNICEF, and Parenting Place, which was very rewarding and I felt like I was making a contribution to the well-being of our community.

I also began exercising more, and participating in sprint triathlons and cycling tours. I became politically active, raising money for political campaigns and working to elect candidates,as well as engaging in protests and marches.  I also joined the Boulder Valley UU Fellowship, which became my spiritual home, and there I became even more involved in social justice.

When Hobie was in elementary school I began studying Spanish with my dear friend Camila, pictured with me, above, during the 2016 campaign,and through Camila I made many dear friends, most of whom were also her students at one time or another.

When Hobie was in middle school, I began tutoring English as a Second Language with Intercambio and the staff and many of my students became dear friends.  My last career before retiring three years ago was teaching Spanish to children in before and after school programs in Boulder County and North Denver.  

Throughout my adult life I have loved to travel whenever I could and, thankfully, Bruce feels the same way.  We traveled alone and with many family members and friends, especially the Thompson family, and Hobie was almost like the fourth Thompson kid for much of his young life.

When Hobie turned 20 in 2013 and had a good job and a budding relationship with Katie,with whom he was living, we felt he was responsible enough to be on his own for a while so we moved to Barcelona for a year (although we really ended up being there seven months because of travel back to Boulder) to try living abroad and improve our Spanish, and since then have lived half time there and in Boulder. Hobie and Katie have lived together for nearly six years and we have become very close to her family, and so have Hobie’s grandparents and aunt who live in Centennial, so we spend as much time with them as possible when we’re home in Colorado.

We made a lot of friends in Barcelona and are so happy to see them when we’re there and it makes us appreciate being in Boulder with our family and friends there even more. Not exactly a nutshell, but that’s the short version of my life,at least so far!

[heidiroizen]

Remembering my Dad, and thanking the America that let him in.

My Dad, Joseph Roizen, died 28 years ago today.  There’s barely a day that goes by that I don’t think of him.  

He entered America by way of Canada in 1951, an energetic young man of Russian Jewish heritage, born in Kishinev, Romania.  He was equipped with a hodge-podge of unfinished education between high school and a little college, and had in tow a wife and two young sons.  He had no money, but he had unbounded energy and a deep belief in the American dream, which he shared with me countless times in the years that followed through his words and actions.

My parents eventually settled in Palo Alto, California, and my Dad got a job at Ampex.  I think of him every time I drive by the sign on 101, which still stands although the company is no longer there.  For those interested in why see here.

I was born shortly before he was sent by Ampex to the USSR for a technology exhibit, during which he stood behind the video camera as the infamous Kitchen Debate unfolded, capturing it on the then-new color videotape technology he had helped to invent.  The Ampex team’s recording, which was smuggled back to the US, earned Dad not only an Emmy Citation, but also the personal pride that he had helped America in its fight against the Soviets.

Dad used to say to me “honey, you never need to leave the Bay Area, because I have searched the whole world over and there is no better place to be, for lifestyle and for work, than here.”  

I cannot imagine what life I would have had, had they chosen somewhere else to settle.    I’m grateful not only for his choice of location, but for his never-ending encouragement to me to pursue a great education, do whatever I wanted to do, and figure out a way to ‘not have a boss’ -- a lifetime goal of his and one I fulfilled for myself when my brother Peter and I started T/Maker in the early ‘80s.

And I am deeply grateful – especially at this time in history – to the America that let in a Russian/Romanian Jew with little education and no money to pursue the American dream.

My brother Ron wrote and presented this biography of my Dad at Dad’s memorial service, I’m quoting directly for much of the history that now follows.  The original is even better, so if this story engages you, please visit the full work here.  

We miss you, Dad.

From my brother Ron:

Thoreau said that most men lead lives of quiet desperation.  That was not my Dad.   Joe Roizen was a great lover of life, exuberant, enterprising, boundlessly energetic, responsible, passionate, optimistic and, when it was needed, even brave.

Joe was born in 1923 in Kishinev, Romania — in the turbulent wake of the Russian Revolution.  His father, Boris, and his mother, Brana, had only six months previously escaped from Russia.  Brana gave birth to Joe while waiting for her husband’s release from a Romanian jail.

The story of the escape and passage to North America was one of family ties and help.  My father made the long sea voyage at age three months — already a world traveler, the fare being paid by an uncle who had already made it to the new world.

The family first went to Halifax, then Toronto, and finally ended up in St. Agathe, a resort town in the Laurentian Mountains and the location of a Jewish sanitarium that treated Joe’s father for T.B.  Boris died when my father was twelve, in 1935.   My father was left fatherless at this tender age and in the depths of the great depression.  This hard reality surely galvanized his lifelong willingness to embrace responsibility and work hard. 

Joe was a good student, but by the middle of the 10th grade financial straits obliged Joe to quit school and work full-time, coat-basting.  Thereafter, he managed to attend night school and took classes at Sir George Williams College.

With the war’s outbreak in 1939, my father (now 17) tried to lie about his age and join the Royal Canadian Air Force.  He didn’t succeed, but he did become the rear-seater radioman in testing Helldiver carrier fighterbombers at Fairchild. 

Joe married my mother, Gisela ‘Doris’ Holl, in 1943, and I (Ron) was born when Joe was only two weeks past his own 20th birthday. 

Joe was an entrepreneur at heart.  Immediately after the war, he started two companies with Charlie Rosen and Solly Mann — Electrolabs, which started out making a diagnostic instrument for auto garages and ended up making intercoms, and Amplitrol, which made a pretty sophisticated bank alarm for its day.  Neither made enough money in the early years — and so my father was forced to abandon them soon after their founding — but both survived and Amplitrol was ultimate acquired by Honeywell. 

According to Charlie, an incident prompted Joe’s and his abandonment of Amplitrol.  A big — even crucial — customer demanded a kickback for the next year’s purchases.  They told him to take a walk — and began looking for other fields of opportunity.  As Charlie noted, even as a very young man with no capital and no safety net, Joe had the energy and the guts to venture out on his own.

My brother, Peter, came along in 1946.  Joe next worked at Trans-Canada Airlines, again in radio.  As a perk, he got free air passes for vacation journeys.  In 1948, Joe and Doris visited L.A.  They even got on the Gary Moore radio show and won a multi-course dinner at Graumann’s Chinese Restaurant in Hollywood.  What impressed them most was the weather.  They had left Montreal in snow and found L.A. in summer warmth.  They decided to move — with no waiting job, no house, no particular prospects save for Joe’s sense of energy, self-worth and employability, and of course, with no US citizenship.  This was classic Joe — move, and then use your wits and energy to make things work.

Joe’s first L.A. job was with Pacific Mercury, which made TV sets for Sears; next he worked for KTLA, where he learned color TV technology first-hand.  He always worked evenings in the garage to earn a little extra for the things he and our family enjoyed. 

My dad and mom loved to pack up the car and see the sights — Yosemite, Sequoia National Park, Victoria, B.C.  Trips also exercised his lifelong love of photography.  On one such trip in 1951 they discovered Lake Tahoe.  They bought a quarter-acre lot with a terrific view, and my father had to rush home to repair a couple of TV sets in their garage in order to cover the down-payment check. 

They fell in love with Tahoe. In summertime, Joe asked for extra unpaid vacation, but was denied.  So, he simply quit his job every June and won it back again every September. 

The wearingly long L.A.-Tahoe drives caused them to look for a home closer to the lake.  In 1956, the family moved to Palo Alto; Joe began work at Ampex.  Baby sister Heidi came along a few years later, the first in our family born in America.  

Joe made many contributions at Ampex, and Ampex was the place that allowed his technical creativity to blossom and also provided a worldwide set of colleagues that he later relied upon to start his own business to fulfill his life-long dream of “not working for somebody else”.  

My Dad and Mom split at this time and there were some lean years when his first company didn’t work out.  However, he rebuilt his life, remarried happily (to Donna Foster Roizen, who was with him until his death) and created a small consultancy in the video field that afforded him 250k miles a year of travel all around the world, the opportunity to choose only clients he liked and projects he found interesting, and plenty of opportunity to tell jokes, host home-cooked dinners at his Portola Valley house, and take pictures.   He had arrived at a nearly ideal circumstance, and he knew it, and he relished it greatly. 

A letter he wrote me (Ron) — when I was going through some troubles — expressed something of the feeling.  He wrote:

With a 20 year lead on you, I can only say that you are still a young man with the best years of your life still ahead.  There is an inner satisfaction from middle age, which comes from having lived long enough to define who and what your are, and what you want to do with that.  I thought I reached that point when I was 35, and I felt I could bear whatever life threw my way after that.

[texting-an-alien]

The Welders: Chapter One

Chapter One: Boys are Sensitive Too

A/N: I’ve wanted to share this for a while, I’ve been working on it for ages. I hope you enjoy. I was actually really encouraged to post this and start writing more after @the-solar-surfer_surfer drew the main character and my OC, so thank you! FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED

It was musty.

Most attics typically were but this one definitely won the “#1 musty, dusty, gross, hack your lungs out from coughing because you can’t breath without dirt going down your throat” award. Unfortunately, it was for a school extra-credit assignment in a class I had been failing since third grade.

I was pretty sure I had found 3 spiders, 20 dead flies, one old moth bit wedding dress, and a mouse trap that explained the current stench in the cramped room. But of course there was no box of photos. The supposed photos were of my long dead family members for my doomed assignment in history.

“Get to know your family, Amy." Mr. Gilbert said.

“You’ll learn so much," he said.

The only thing I was learning was that grandmothers don’t always keep tidy houses. Sure the downstairs had floral wallpaper and embroidered pillows with inspirational quotes, but it was like all the dust had hibernated from downstairs to the attic… which didn’t help my allergies.

1 hour and a hundred sneezes later, I was down the ladder sitting on the stiff couch surrounded by said pillows with one, musty, dusty cardboard box full of photo albums and something that would rattle every time you took a step.

My grandmother sat next to me, her wrinkled frail hands clasped in her lap.

Unlike her attic, my grandmother was the stereotypical, rosey cheek, wrinkles as deep as the grand canyon grandmother. Her pale skin stretched across her face and she was quite short, with a slight curve to her back so she waddled around like the hunchback of Notre Dame. She had tight grey ringlets that, unlike the other seniors of Yachats, Oregon, she refused to dye purple or blonde. Her nails were always a gut wrenching “Rose Blush” red and the only thing in her wardrobe was polyester pastel dresses in every shade of pink and yellow.

“I never realized the attic actually contained stuff," I said as I pulled apart the criss-crossed cardboard flaps.

“Where do you think we put the rest of your crap when you moved in?” a voice said from the kitchen and I immediately placed it with my year older cousin, Patrick.

“Well sorry I never thought of climbing through a bunch of cobwebs in my freetime," I replied sarcastically and rolled my eyes. He fully appeared from around the corner of the kitchen, a half-eaten banana in his hand.

My cousin was like the brother I never had nor had I ever wanted. He had short, blonde, curly hair that took 3 different brands of combs to tame. He was much taller than my grandmother and I, and acted as if everything was made of glass. “The gentle giant." seemed appropriate. He was currently wearing his black button up shirt for his catering job and his favorite pair of hotdog boxers.

“Well maybe if you didn’t spend so much time in your roo-” he started.

“Hush now, I’m learning," I interrupted and returned back to the box. I heard him move behind me and lean over my shoulder.

“You know all that stuff Mr. Gilbert says is crap so the board doesn’t get suspicious and find the bottle of Jack in his classroom," he whispered low enough that my grandmother wouldn’t hear. I smirked and waved him away. He chuckled, took another bite and went back to the kitchen.

Back in the box, there were two photo albums and polaroid pictures crammed around in the empty space. My grandmother's face lit up at the sight of the pictures and fondly stroked each one like it was a living thing.

I picked up a picture of a small boy sitting in a pile of snow. He was wearing a red fleece hat and a puffy blue snow jacket. He was squinting into the camera, his cheeks red from the cold.

“That there is Patrick when he was about 5. Boy did he love that hat," my grandmother smiled, looking over my shoulder to see the photo.

“I heard my name," Patrick said and reappeared from the kitchen, the banana gone.

I held up the picture and looked over my shoulder and said, “Awe, Patrick remember when you were cute? What happened?”

He glared at me and snatched the picture from me. He studied his 5 year old self. He cocked his head then said, “What are you talking about? I’m still extremely handsome."

“Maybe if you wish really hard it will come true. Or at least you will know how to dress," I mumbled that last bit as I snatched the picture away. He looked down at his shirt and hot dog boxers, before narrowing his eyes at me.

“Shut up. I have to leave at 3:30. I’ve got time," he frowned and walked up-stairs.

Patrick and I always bickered. It drove my grandmother insane but at the end of the day he was the one helping with my homework because he had already gone through all the classes or trying to slip me a test from last year. I never accepted of course… okay once.

My grandmother and I sorted through pictures for nearly an hour. We chatted about baby pictures and prom photos.

“And this is of your mother," My grandmother said, turning the page in one of the photo albums. I had moved closer to her and now looking at the picture, I felt too close.

My breath hitched in my throat as I saw my mother in her prom dress. I heard Patrick freeze on the bottom of the stairs. The entire room went silent and I couldn’t take my eyes off my mother.

“I’m sorry darling," My grandmother said, trying to flip the page.

“No, no. It’s okay. This is the kind of stuff Mr. Gilbert wants me to know about. He wants a report on the entire family, including mom."

The truth was I didn’t want to know more about my mom. I already knew everything. She had never had a lot of money, she worked two jobs and was still home every night to make me mac & cheese. She was kind and gentle, if she had the chance she took me to every county fair. Her porcelain face was worn from no sleep all the time and her hair had been cut short because she never had anytime to brush it. And she had died 5 years ago from a hit and run.

I had been living with my grandmother for about 6 years. I say 6 because my mother and I had moved in 7 months before the accident. Afterwards my grandmother legally adopted me. At the court the issue of my father came up, which I wish to no longer speak about for the remainder of this story. The courts offer about my father was turned down and I had been with my grandmother since.

Patrick was here because his parents had kicked him out when they found out he was dating a boy. The boy then broke it off, but my aunt and uncle refused to let him back in the house. He had been here since he was 12 which meant he had been here 4 years and counting. Honestly, my grandmother had already disowned her daughter and the anger only strengthened when Patrick was kicked out of the house.

But it was nice here. Patrick and I went to the same high-school so I always had someone to sit by on the bus. He was like and older brother to me. My grandmother was soft spoken and continued to take pity on us even after Patrick had broken nearly every window in the house and I had brought the police to the house… twice.

Innocent shoplifting. Okay I was 13 and it was a pair of sunglasses and some chapstick.

Still, we had 3 meals everyday and tea before bed. It was one of the many odd things my grandmother required us to do after dinner. It supposedly cleansed the soul and we were shunned if we missed it.

“Your mom was a good woman, more a mom to me than that other woman," Patrick said and fake shuddered. “Alright, I’m going. I should be back by dinner."

“Bye darling," My grandmother said as he leaned down and kissed her cheek. He patted me on the shoulder before suddenly remembering something and running back up the stairs.

I moved back to the box and moved a few rolls of film out of the way, revealing the source of the rattling noise.

It was a brown wood box, the size of a generous jewelry box. As I removed it from the cardboard box and set on my lap, I heard my grandmother go still. I paid no attention and opened the box. Inside was a strange assortment of items.

There was a small glass case with a white butterfly pinned to a piece of cardboard, a broken ballerina that could have fit in a music box, a locket with a clip of black hair, a glass or crystal orb, and you guessed it- more dust.

“What is this a time capsule? You know you’re supposed to bury these right?” I joked and dug through a few things. I pulled the crystal orb out of the box and examined it in the light coming from the window. It distorted everything on the other side, like you were looking into fun house mirror. It was about the size baseball and it cas cold, clear, and heavy.

“Not exactly," My grandmother and I looked to her, expecting a sad smile and wise story. Oddly enough, her face was grim and serious.

Patrick appeared behind her, staring at the orb in my hands. He had only barely put on his backpack and it dangled on his shoulder. I glanced back and forth, between my two very eerie relatives before quickly putting the ball back in the case and slamming it shut.

“I’m guessing it’s not a good memory?” I said and they seemed to come out of a trance, their eyes snapping up to me. “Assuming it is a memory box," I continued.

“Of course it’s a memory box dear, what else would it be?” My grandmother said and Patrick’s grip tightened on his brack pack strap. He looked angry, but not at me.

“Because if it's something else…” I trailed off and glanced back to the box, slightly opening it.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just a glass ball, an over-sized marble," Patrick said angrily. He was staring at the back of my grandmothers curly gray head. He seemed to be more focused on the galls orb than anything else in the box, he was clarifying that the ball was nothing even though I hadn’t specified anything.

I put my arms up in defense and set the box on the floor. I looked away but from the corner of my eye I could see Patrick still glaring at my grandmother. He has never looked at her this way, it was considered impolite and he was always kind to her.

“Whatever I have to go," Patrick said, and quickly left the living room. The door slammed with such a terrifyingly angry force that multiple hanging pictures rattled from their places on the walls.

I didn’t bring the small memory box back up. Not when I sealed it back in it’s cardboard tomb. Not even when it was 5 minutes to tea and Patrick still wasn’t home even though he got off of work three hours ago. My grandmother and I sat on the couch, she already adorned her blue bathrobe and I was wearing my Harvard sweatshirt.

“Was it about his family?” I asked finally, breaking the obnoxiously thick silence. Setting the steaming cup of orange and cinnamon tea on the coffee table. “Like a family heirloom or something?”

“Something like that. Patrick is very sensitive. You having nothing to worry about Amethyst," My grandmother replied.

I suppose this is the moment when I should mention my full name. Amethyst Cecilia Preston was not the name I wanted. Even though I have a feeling my mother gave it to me as a very deep meaningful soulful label, I also had a feeling it was a joke that she was playing even from beyond the grave. It sounded like some 50s pin-up girl that had only signed up for the posters because Victoria’s Secret hadn’t been founded yet.

As soon as those words left my grandmother's mouth, the term “speak of the devil and he shall appear." became very useful.

Patrick burst through the door, once again slamming the door and rattling the pictures on the walls. He quickly ran to the kitchen, poured himself a cup, and sat down across from us in the over stuffed floral pattern chair, his coat still on. My grandmother and I were still so shocked about his dramatic entrance that it took awhile for her to say something.

“You’re late for tea," My grandmother mumbled and took a sip of tea, not making eye contact with him.

“Right sorry, Annaleise showed up late. You know how she is," he chuckled, mimicking my grandmother and casually sipping the tea as if his tantrum hadn’t happened before.

“3 hours late," I mumbled into my glass and Patrick shot me a glare.

It fell into an awkward silence which usually didn’t happen. Usually it was Patrick not shutting up about some boy from school or my grandmother asking if I had found a guy yet in which case the answer was always no. I wasn’t used to a guardian encouraging me to date.

“Come now Amy, there is always a guy for every socially awkward, friendless 15 year old," Patrick has said one night.

He wasn’t saying anything now.

“Well," I suddenly exclaimed causing my grandmother to jump. “I am going to go to bed, there is only so much awkward family time that I can take."

My grandmother sat down her cup and looked up at me with a look that I couldn’t quite describe before saying, “Oh alright then, goodnight dear."

“Goodnight Amy," Patrick said and gave me the fakest, cheesiest, “I’m-actually-a-secret-murderer” smile that I have ever seen- and I have known him for most of my life. I looked back at him and crinkled my nose (he was giving me the shivers).

I slowly walked backwards up the stairs, Patrick's maniac eyes following me the entire time until my door clicked shut. I turned around, taking in the darkened room before sitting on my bed.

Most 15 year old girls have pretty much figured out what they like and have stuck with it. Decorating their rooms with boy bands and filling their closest with ungodly clothes that would make Lady Gaga weep. Unlike the other girls, my room was littered with Van Gogh posters and journals that I never actually wrote in. My duvet didn’t match my curtains or pillows causing my grandmother to go crazy. Other than that, it was pretty normal. I had a closet, a bookshelf, a bed, and a window. Basic human habitat.

I was about to actually consider going to sleep when I heard bickering from downstairs. I kneeled down and put my ear to the vent that fortunately lead into the living room like in all the spy movies that just happened to have vent that lead directly to where you needed to go.

“...was gone! We can’t have that here!” Obviously Patrick.

“Do you know how difficult, not just physically but mentally, it is to get rid of an ampoule!? It’s not that simple. That was her entire life Patrick. Even Barney had trouble getting rid of his wife's!” Now it was my grandmothers turn.

I quickly made a mental note to look up what the heck an “ampoule” was.

“We can’t have a spare rolling around here, literally! It’s dangerous for everyone," Patrick said.

“Why because Amy is just going to go and take a over sized marble and-” her last few words were cut off by the tea kettle whistling. There was shuffling and I quickly opened my door and sat at the top of the stairs hoping I could hear everything.

“I’m thinking we should tell Amy," Patrick said, slightly quieter.

“Patrick don’t you dare bring that girl into this, like you said, it’s dangerous," My grandmother said from the kitchen.

“It would be more dangerous if we didn’t tell her," he replied.

“You will not tell Amy a thing. Have you not been listening to yourself? You’re shouting at me while you want to tell her everything about… well everything!”

“You kept the ampoule here! Where she could find it and now that she has she’s not going to give it up. How many times did she ask about it while I was gone?”

“Once!”

“Her mind was probably screaming about it the entire time. grams she will not give up we have to tell her something."

“I will not tell you again Patrick Preston, you do not tell Amethyst anything about the ampoule and if you do…”

“Fine! Whatever. She’s going to find out and when she does don’t go looking to me or Barney for help."

There was a grunt, shuffling, more movement before I heard the first step creak. I quickly jumped up and ran to my room. I tried to close the door a quietly as possible, something I had learned from Patrick himself, and dove under my covers.

My door swung open, the light from the hallway bleeding into my dark room. Through my squinted eyes I could make out the outline of Patrick’s body, he was still wearing his coat. I tried to slow my breathing as he came and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Amethyst, you came up here like 7 minutes ago, there is no way you went to bed. Not without contemplating the meaning of life and that usually takes 10 minutes," he chuckled and I opened one eye. He looked down at me and smiled.

“I’m sorry if I upset you earlier," I whispered and sat up, my back against the metal bar headboard behind me.

“You sound so formal," he joked but then turned serious. “You didn’t."

I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah because disappearing for three hours screams ‘I’m not upset’."

“Just some family past I thought was over and done with," Patrick informed me, resting his hand on my knee.

“Okay first of all, the knee thing is freaking creepy. Second, you and grandma aren’t good at whispering. And third, you gonna tell me or not?” I said, moving my knee away from him. He smiled again and I couldn’t help but smile back.

It was like his smile was infectious. He didn’t have perfect teeth, not even close. His two front teeth had a large white spot from heaven knows what and his bottom front teeth had slightly twisted behind each other. But when he smiled you knew whatever on earth he was looking at was worth smiling for.

“How much did you hear?” He asked

“Enough that I want to know more," I replied.

"Grams will kill me.”

“I heard you downstairs. You want to tell me even though grandma is against it. I, on the other hand, am all for it."

“Huh."

“Well are you gonna tell me?”

He seemed almost convinced. I was using his own words against him, another thing I had learned from one of our pointless arguments in the past. He pursed his lips, looked everywhere but my eyes, and wouldn’t stop picking at his fingernails.

“Patrick please? I bet it would look great on my history essay," I pleaded, my voice sounding way to desperate at the end.

“Well if, and I mean if, I was to tell you, you couldn’t put it in your essay. Or tell anyone," he said, sounding suddenly deadly serious.

Now this was getting mysterious.

“I swear on my life. Now spill," I said and crossed my heart with my finger, sitting up straighter to get the juicy details on our crazy family.

As those few final words left my mouth, footsteps were heard coming up the stairs. We both glanced at the door and I prayed Patrick would just hurry up and tell me. Judging from my grandmother’s tone of voice from their argument, if she found out Patrick had even agreed to tell me, he would probably be dead.

“Better yet I can show you," he said hurriedly, already getting off my bed. “Tomorrow if I can get off in time. Chances are Julia won’t show up by 4:30 like she’s scheduled for."

Good to know the only thing standing in between me and my dark family secrets was the 18 year old newbie.

“Why not just tell me?” I asked.

“Later," he hissed, kissed my forehead, then ran to the door and closed it as carefully as possible, mimicking my actions from about 2 minutes ago. The door clicked close as the side of my grandmother's face appeared around the corner. Their two voices were once again muffled but a few words slipped.

“What… in there?” my grandmother whispered.

“...night," Patrick replied.

“Don’t… her." The floor creaked implying my grandmother stepped forward.

“...swear… won’t."  I could imagine Patrick putting up his arms in defense, backing away. There was three creaks, a click, six more creaks then another click- both had gone to their rooms.

I layed on my back, staring up at the slightly twirling black and white light bulbs hanging from the ceiling. I nearly considered slipping out of bed and down stairs to get my phone that I had stupidly left charging in the kitchen to look up the world “ampoule” when sleep betrayed me and I was plagued with dreams about a ginormous crystal ball hunting me down like a bad remake of Indiana Jones.

[lovenerdywinnerbouquetfan-blog]

Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

"Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

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I'm older than 24 and never got around to getting a driver's license because I went to college at a young age. Now I have an opportunity to use my mom's insured car for a couple months, and I want to practice and get a driver's license, just so that I'll have the driving test out of the way (and won't feel so weird being this old without a license). However, I still don't plan to have a car, I'll be moving somewhere that I don't need a car, etc. I don't want to have to pay any insurance for having the license. Can I just get a permit and practice and take the driving test and get a license, without ever buying a car or auto insurance? And then I won't use the license, I'll just have it until it so happens that I might need to drive (perhaps use the insurance that you can buy along with rental cars, if I need to rent a car?). Also, I'm not sure if I'll be covered under my mom's insurance for permit driving because I am older than 24. I really don't know much about this. I just started looking into it about an hour ago. I've had an illness for a couple years that prevented me from driving but I'm getting better and thought maybe I should learn to drive now.""

Low income health insurance?

One of my friends recently came to US from a different country. She sold whatever she had and came to US with 25000$. Recently since she was sick she had to go to emergency room for three days. The problem is she did not have any kind of health insurance. Somebody in the hospital told her that she might be eligible for special kind of low income insurance. Her salary is 900$ per month and she get some help from her brother to be able to pay for rent and living costs. Here is my question: does having 25000$ in the bank account disqualify her for this low income insurance? Do they expect that she pay nearly all these 25000$ for the cost of her visit to emergency room? She was asked to provide all the documents regarding her bank accounts, rent she pays and documents showing her income. She is living in Bay area.""

How much is ur car insurence a month?

im 16 and im not getting my car till 17 or 18 and i need to know how much money insurance is a month. i just need an estimate. Thanks

Insurance question after engine blow up?

I was wondering, will insurance pay for damage to a car without being in accident? Let me give you example. What if I was driving on highway and my engine would blow up (not during racing, just cruising around), and I don't have manufacturers warranty anymore. Can I file claim, and will insurance pay for new engine?""

Ne 1 know a cheap 4x4 insurance company?

Ne 1 know a cheap 4x4 insurance company?

Anybody knows reliable insurance companies that insure summer houses?

I've recently bought a summer house in Tavira, Portugal, which my family and I would like to insure because we won't use it constantly. Anybody knows reliable insurance companies that insure summer houses?""

Moped insurance (Ireland)??

how much would insurance cost for a 16 year old in Dublin with a provisional licence on a yamaha aerox 50cc in ireland?

Will insurance pay for an insured car that's borrowed and driven by an uninsured driver?

well, it's a brand new car that belong to my father, i borrowed it and got in an accident because i slip off the road, the car is totaled and im really worried about the coverage. my dad has Infinity-insurance, so yes the car is insured however i do not have any kind of auto-insurance at all nor am i listed in my father's policy. will my father's insurance pays for the car?( if possible, please answer it base on Infinity-insurance)""

Any 17 year olds just got car insurance? (UK)?

Hi, I was wondering if anybody aged 17 has got car insurance recently and would be able to tell me how much they paid. I've been told 3k-4k but when I look on the internet most people are saying 800-2k even if you haven't just got insurance which of the two price ranges is more likely for me? I live in an area where car theft is low and I can keep the car in a garage. I'm a 17 year old male.""

I dented my friends car. can my insurance cover it?

i accidentally kicked my friend's 2011 Camry SE's back side door. He treats his car really well and i know it really upset him. I was going to pay for it, but when we took it to the toyota shop, not only was it $2000 but they also need to keep it for a week. He would need another car to go to his full time job and full time school, so he asked if my insurance could cover for it and give him a rental car. My insurance is in my parents name so i want to know whats going to happen before i decide to ask them. Anyone have any knowledge about this? Thanks.""

Health insurance .?

hello...i am 33 year old and going to school full-time. anyone out there know any cheap health insurance that i can apply for? i am mostly healthy but just in case. plus does the government support full-time students with at least health insurance? i am from memphis tn are. thank you!!!

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old girl in texas?

I'm going to be driving a ford I think f150 the year is no later than 2004. I know they have discounts for students with good grades. My gpa is above a 4.650. I need the cheapest I can get. Because aside from managing insurance on this vehicle. I will need to put money aside to purchase a different vehicle. (I'm borrowing the truck, but must pay my own insurance.) And battle school. I won't make a lot of money, so I have to try with what I will have.""

""How much do people pay (per month, year etc) for car insurance?

The price can be per month year etc.

Car accident with no insurance?

I was stopped at a red light behind two cars. Both cars started to go and so did I the next thing I knew I had hit the car in front of me. The car in front of me hit the car in front of him. We all pulled over my car isnt to bad but I drive a suburban, the car in front of me was a smaller car so his looked a little worse. Nobody was hurt, and all cars were drivable, so we decided to not call the police we just all exchanged information. After we had finished and they left I immediately called my insurance lady to let her know what happened. I am not super clear on this next part, we have been going back and forth with our insurance since that call and will continue to fight it. When I called the insurance lady she said I wasnt covered. She said that they had received the last payment much later than it was due (not sure how because it was mailed the same time as always) but because of that our insurance had been cancelled. A couple of weeks ago they had chased our check, she said we were reinstated as of yesterday (the day of the accident) but because it was the same day they werent liable to pay the damages. We are going to keep fighting them because I dont think its fair. Even if they decide that they wont pay we can afford to just pay for the damages to the rear end of the car in front of us, because know matter what happened I am at fault for following to close. We cant afford to pay out of our pocket also for his front end and the rear end of the first car. Shouldnt those damages be covered by the car I hit because he was obviously following to close to the car in front of him? Im a little freaked out with all this, this is the first accident I have ever been in and we have always had insurance, so we thought. The insurance company did say they mailed us a cancellation notice but if they did we have never received one.""

I got two no proof of insurance tickets?

I got two and Have court for one on the 26th of Sep and the other on the 29th two different vehicles what will happen also when I got my second ticket I got it for speeding... What can I do I have proof of insurance but it is on a different vehicle is there any way I can say I was on my way to changing my insurance to the car I was driving.. I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA IM 19 years old PLEASE HELP ME IM TURNING 20 on the 28th of August

International student health insurance US?

My college requires insurance. I am already in the US so I won't be able to purchase a plan from insurance provider from my homecountry. Can anyone give some suggestions of affordable and reputable insurance provider that you have used? I did some googling but I would want to confirm that the insurance companies are indeed legit. Thanks!

Truck registration in different state health insurance?

I lived in california and drove a car my dad had under his name on the title. He died and i moved to montana with that same car. I have been on my step moms health insurance plan for some time. I am legally able to be on her plan as long as i list myself as being in the same household until age 26. I was wondering if i register that truck in my name if uncle sam can find out i moved and thus making my health insurance unusable. Should i just drop my step moms insurance and struggle to get my own? What are my options?

Which type of insurance do I have?

I have AvMed insurance through my job and I am filling out paperwork online right now and I am not sure which type to choose: Primary Secondary Supplementary Worker's Comp It says Open Access-Self Refer to Specialist at the top of my insurance card. Could someone help me out please?

How can i get affordable insurance for my pregnant wife?

im not sure what my options are at this point. my wife is 4 months pregant and her temporary 45 day medical has expired and healthy families wont accept her. we've tried to apply for medical before but were denied due to my income. my income looks more than it is since i have to spend over $500 a month in gas with no compensation. we have very little wiggle room when it comes to income. is there something out there that may be able to help us. we also have two other children but i was able to get them healthy families

Insurance: Can i??????

Can i start my own insurance company and insure my own car and thats it?

Why do liberals keep referring to the new health insurance system as affordable? ?

I work on film crews. It an be a long time between movie projects, so I deliver pizzas between crews instead of going on unemployment like many of my film crew buddies. I also own some crappy land, which I inherited, that won't sell. It's just sitting there on the market, screwing me out of qualifying for anything and everything my tax dollars are used for in the way of entitlement funding. I live in a travel trailer. As soon as I have to start paying an upwards of $200 a month for health insurance that is only going to go up, up and up now that pre-existing conditions must be covered, I'm going to have to move into a tent. What part of this is affordable?""

""I have medicaid for my baby,how long can I have it for?

My daughter is covered under medicaid. She can't get insurance because she has a pre consisting condition. I am wondering how long I can have medicaid for? Is it wrong for me to ...show more

What are the pros and cons of health insurance?

health insurance why buy it

Can a 17 year old get insurance in his own name?

im 17 years old and my dad wont put me back on his insurance. can i just start my own/ If so whats a good cheap one to get liability on?

How much can I expect to pay for cobra insurance?

I was recently offered a job that pays much more than my current job. The downfall is the employer is small and does not currently offer an employee insurance plans. I'm 30 years old and I've never had any major health issues. I know I can keep the insurance from my former job thru cobra law. But what will i expect to pay. Currently as an employee I pay 26.35 per each pay period (2 week pay periods) for medical insurance and 9.53 a pay period for dental. In summary i pay roughly 71 dollars a month to cover myself only (no dependents). the company i work for has 7000 employees worldwide. probably 2-3000 u.s. employees. How much can I expect to pay for cobra?

Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

Car Insurance Cost in NYC?

I have a question regarding car insurance. I'm 29 years old. I've been in 3 car accidents but was not at fault for any of them (2 of the times my car was sitting still! lol) and I've never gotten a ticket for any of those accidents. I used to have insurance through State Farm, full coverage for a 2004 Jeep Liberty that cost 50-60 a month in upstate NY. While driving to NYC one winter I got a speeding ticket, my first ticket ever! I was going I think 82(?) in a 65. This was just before I moved to NYC, and because I got the ticket in a podunk little county I was driving through I had no idea what the name was, the ticket flew out my door and I lost it. I figured they would mail me something else to tell me the payment was late but I never received anything else about it. Well I found out later it was because I moved, even though I moved about 2 months after the fact they wait quite a while to send another notice, and I never received it. Thus, my license was suspended but I never knew. I never got caught driving without it either. So I moved here in 2007 with my Jeep which I was very behind payments for, and then it got towed away for alternate side parking BS. I could have borrowed the money back then to pay to get it out but I let it go. Alright so long story short, I don't have the truck, it was auctioned. I'll be done paying for it through a collection agency settlement offer this May. If I had kept the truck, I would be paying 200+ more a month than I pay now, and I wouldn't have been done paying it til August 2011. Plus I would have had to pay to catch it up the 3 months I was behind, plus pay my boyfriends brother back who was willing to lend me the money to get it out of the car jail (lol) I had the suspension lifted last July so I could rent a car, again no issues. So I'm thinking of buying a 2,000 car (cash! I learned my lesson) in June when I'm done paying for the truck and I want to get no fault insurance. I know it will be a lot more here then what I used to pay, and in addition I now have a suspension that wasn't there before. How much do you guys have to pay for your insurance, if it's not too much information to ask? And how much do you think mine might be, or compare your cost and history to mine? Thanks.""

Whats the average cost for teenage car insurance?

im going to get my permit soon and i would like to know what the average teen car insurance cost is.

How How to Get the Cheapest Motorcycle Insurance?

How How to Get the Cheapest Motorcycle Insurance?

Classic car insurance for new drivers?

Hello. Can you get classic car insurance for a new just test passed driver. If the car is say a 1.1 escort or similar and the driver is over 30 years old? or is it verboten until at least 2 years have passed driving with normal insurance? Thankyou.

What is The Age Limit To Use My Medical Insurance?

Hi I'm 20 years old and i want to know what is the age limit medical insurance covers? I hardly use it and now that i need it to have an eye check, I don't know if it will cover me... I reside in California. Thank You!""

How much is insurance on a lamborghini?

I'm 16 and thinking about getting this as my first car and just wondering the insurance.

Car insurance...?

Ok I have 2 choices here! I have only been driving 6 months so I have 0 no claims. I have just been bought a car and to add it on my insurance policy it costs 60 on top on the 45 I pay a month..(105 a month) for 5 more months til i get my 1 year no claims or for 70 a month I cant start again with a different company . what to do? ....

Health insurance for baby and me?

We just moved to Illinois ( near St Louis) from California and I'm having a hard time finding insurance. I was on medi-cal in California due to pregnancy being a pre existing condition and my husband's insurance wouldn't do anything about it. I keep getting the run around when I call the state insurance out here. I'm just wondering if any of you live out here or have any good information on where I can go or what insurance I can get on for cheap. I'm almost 29 weeks and I need to get into the doctor ASAP! Any information would be extremely helpful!

Which is worse on insurance costs or points a DUI or not haveing insurance?

My insurance company has on record that my husband had a DUI 2 years ago, but he didn't I got the paper work to show that it was a driving without insurance charge but I want to know which is worse to the insurance company.""

Car insurance - car pay out?

Recently my friend had an accident. His car is an import and the insurance company want to write it off and as they cannot get hold of replacement parts. Does he have the right to refuse their offer for pay out as the car is worth more than they are giving him. As its an import, and a sports car, he knows he can get more for it on auto trader and eBay. Or can he settle the claim with them by asking them to pay for the repair if he can sort out a garage who is willing to fix his car for less than the insurance company had suggested.""

Where can I get affordable health insurance?

I'm a student and I work, but work does not offer it.""

How much is one months car insurance on average?

Driving a slightly older car (87 Tbird), newer driver; no faults fines or tickets. Resident of BC.""

I am trying to access a insurance company on line.?

Company name United insurance company of America Miami Florida.

Is it illegal to drive without car insurance?

Hi, i was just wondering if it is illegal to drive without car insurance in Ontario, Canada.""

Which color and style cars are the most expensive in insurance??

I looking at getting myself a chevy cobalt, I want a black, white or red coupe style but I know that they can be a little more in insurance and I just want to know what colors and styles are the most.. By the way I'm a 22 year old female in Chicago, I know that might make a difference in the cost as well.. Any info would be helpful..""

How do i get my car about half a mile without insurance?

I need to get a car from my house to my girlfriends, but I have no insurance on it yet. I have considered pushing it and asking someone's to tow it but i am unsure yet... I do not have insurance on the car. Any ideas?""

Car insurance for cars off the road...?

is there a type of insurancee I am able to get just to cover my car while it is not in use? I have purchased a car and I am currently waiting to take my driving test. So I was just wondering is there a type of insurance that will cover my car just while it is sitting on the path justin casee it is damaged or stolen?

""If I already have health insurance, but get hired somewhere where they also have health insurance as a benefit?""

does that mean I HAVE to have their insurance? I want to keep my own insurance, which is under my parents health insurance.""

Car insurance for teenagers?

Im 18 and I own a used car. Never a trouble maker. I have a part time job. I want to know what insurance I can get for my car that is affordable.

Anyone know about AAA car insurance and there uninsured motorist policy in California?

My daughters agent also mine now says she needs to pay her deductible,. I used to have farmers when the same thing happened to me ( a uninsured unlicensed driver hit her).And my deductible was waived. When I looked over the policy it doesnt say anything about a deductible. Any help would be appreciated""

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE INSURANCE & GENERAL INSURANCE?

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE INSURANCE & GENERAL INSURANCE?

What is the best car insurance for if you don't have own car?

I don't have car and I do rent a car frequently, Is there any insurance that I can take and that can be transferred to what ever car I rent for the day? what I mean is If I take any insurance for 6months or one year that should be applied to the what ever car I drive. any suggestions?""

Staying on my mother's health insurance?

I'm 19 years old, in good health, and moving out. My mother has been laid off and is getting a job out of state which is forcing me to move out (i'm not complaining just informing). She will be on cobra health insurance until the new job's health insurance kicks in but I was wondering if I'd still be able to be covered under her new job's insurance if we aren't living together. The only reason I ask this is because I am currently working part time at a job that offers health insurance but it is $70 per month. If it were up to me I'd go without health insurance but she informed me that it is required by law now (yay). I've read in some places that I would be able to stay covered by my mother's insurance until age 26 but I've also read in other places that if my job offers health insurance I cannot be covered on someone else's as a dependent. I live in Georgia if that matters! Any tips/suggestions welcomed, thanks!""

Which company has the best renters insurance in terms of service and price?

I'm looking for a renters insurance company that is not expensive and has knowledgeable and cordial employees. Is not eager to deny claims and has an extensive policy. If you found one that covers breakage of your belongings due to accident or use by you, let me know. I'm not so sure if those types of policies exist.""

Red camoro or mustang or white effect car insurance (boy)?

Hello I am driving in a few months. I am getting a 2011 chevy camaro 2lt or a ford mustang gt. does the color of the car effect the price of the car insurance. I do know being a boy I will have to pay higher insurance. But red is my favorite color. If I get a red camaro or mustang will insurance be higher than getting a white or yellow mustang or camaor. And what is better for everyday driving and safety. and features. and what is best for the money the Camaro or mustang. and trim wise to. camaro 1LT or 2LT or Mustang GT or V6Premium???? help

Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

17 year old 1 day insurance?

Any insurance companies do 1 day insurance for 17 year olds?

What will happen if I drive without insurance for few days?

I live in New Jersey, my county is Hudson county. I just bought my car yesterday afternoon my insurance company was closed. I could not call them to add the car on insurance and start driving with my other car insurance. What will happen if I drive with my other car insurance in my new car for a few days? What if cops stop me? Will I get a ticket or something else?""

Best optical insurance?

Which insurance is accepted at the most places?

Could this be health insurance fraud?

Hi, I over heard someone that I know talking to their Significant other, and one implied to the other that the guy I know is letting his mother use his health insurance for something, I'm not sure what. What could someone be doing, across state lines with their son's health insurance? Should I report this? Who would I report it to? I could probably figure out what insurance company it is. Thanks for any input.""

Insurance while in the military?

How does insurance work when the car is registered in another state which for me is california and I'm currently stationed in texas. What address would i use if my car is with me in texas but is registered in cali.

How much is car insurance for a range rover sport 2010?

I have a friend how is looking to get a 2st hand range rover sport 2010 but Is worried about the insurance. What is the range of car insurance prices for the basic driver

Is a scraped car door handle worth the rise in insurance rates?

If someone scraped against your car door and the only thing damaged was the handle on the passenger side door, would you file an insurance claim and risk a rise in insurance? The scrape is only about 1-2 inches long.""

Why does the political left compare obamacare to car insurance?

car insurance is to cover the other guy, people often have liability only which give no personal coverage whatsoever!!! ca""

""Im 19 years old and looking for a cool car that wont cost too much for insurance, any suggestions?""

Im 19 years old and looking for a cool car that wont cost too much for insurance, any suggestions?""

Is there any cheap health insurance that have good coverage in california ?

Is there any cheap health insurance that have good coverage in california ?

What is the best way to use technology in comparing insurance premiums for MEDICARE costing?

Many of the baby boomer generation will shortly be reviewing insurance costs for our retirement years - health, medical, prescription and the like. We will need to make decisions based upon retirement income and expenses. I have done some preliminary research and it appears I need to do a lot more. The data for health and medical costs is easily available however there is a ton of it. For this reason, I intend to use spreadsheets to crunch through this and any other tech tool I can locate. One of the problems with this approach is that just about every quote is proprietary, that is each quote has its own bells and whistles which make it more or less expensive than the next company. Although I have spreadsheet skills, I can visualize that any template I make must provide for more assumptions than I want to make. From the above it's clear to me that I need some kind of generic (FREE) spreadsheet template that is not proprietary, combines monthly income and expense (insurance premiums counted as expenses), is not locked in terms of making formula adjustments, and has the ability to forecast. If this is as clear as mud to you, welcome to the crowd. Surely, there are fill in the blanks templates dealing with MEDICARE comparative cost determination. If there are and you are aware of them, please let me know. I would be in your debt. Regards, Rich F. Florida""

Cheapest car insurance?

What would be the cheapest car insurance for a low income 18 year old female who has had two tickets. I have a Chevy Tahoe-2006 and I live in Oklahoma if that helps.

How much have you paid for classic car insurance?

I have just bought merc e220 1993 and looking for cheap policy. Im over 30 female and got a wicked quote for fully comp with a named driver for 180. What have you paid?

I have question about car insurance!!?

ok I live in California northern part so.... I wanto know how much is the car insurance for 16 years old? Is it depends on type of car and the price you got it? I found a car in the internet its 2008 audi rs4 $2000 clean title how much do u think is the car insurance for this car... Thanks for the real answers!!!!

I pay more for auto insurance than medical insurance?

And no, im not a bad driver. Will Obama have some sort of auto insurance reform next to help us out? Look at how many Americans dont have car insurance but drive anyways.""

I NEED A CHEAP AUTO INSURANCE ONTARIO?

I have my g2, i am 19 years old, and i am trying to find a cheap insurance to quote me on a cheap car....its only a 99 cavalier 4 door. I have done a lot of online quotes and i have basically gotten the same quote around $430. I would like a quote more around the $200 range!! Help! Anyone know of any cheap auto insurances?? Thanks!! Carley.xo""

Can anybody advise me on the Insurance Company United America for health insurance?

I need Health insurance and would like advise on this company

Car InSuRaNcE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

if i buy a cheap second hand car and want 2 get insurance on it, how much will it cost?? Am 17 and a learner driver.. im buying the car to help me drive better individually. thanks""

Where can I get affordable health insurance in Arkansas??

Where can I get affordable health insurance in Arkansas??

Car insurance. Using car but insurance under my moms name!!!?

HI my mom gave me her car which is insured only under her name and i took it to California from Illinois. I registered the car in California and switched the title to only my name. Can I legally drive around using the insurance card with my moms name on it which is also from Illinois?

How much does a limo insurance cost?

im saving 33,480 dollars to buy an 04 limo""

What ammount of miles should I drive yearly to get a minimum insurance rate?

I think if you drive less than a certain ammount of miles, you get cheaper insurance. What ammount is ideal? Plus, how are an insurance company meant to know if you drive to School ...show more""

How much is the insurance for a mazda rx8?

how much would it cost me? the insurance? im going to turn 18 and im going to start paying for my own insurance? since i have no credit around how much would it cost me.

""My husband and I want to get Life Insurance, help!?""

We have NO idea how this works. We have NO kids, we are in our mid 30's and relatively healthy. We prefer the NON hassle of no medical exam, etc. Can someone give us a hassle free/low cost, name of a company to use and explain how Life Insurance works? (I know the basics, that if one of us dies, we get benefits yada yada)""

What's the average cost monthly for a high school student for having a car?

Just like the question says, around how much is everything put together on having a car (maintaining, oil, insurance etc) for a high school student. Thanks.""

Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

If I'm on someone else car insurance am I liable?

My old boy friend put me on his car insurance so I could drive his car. We are no longer together. If he gets in an accident could I get sued? He has nothing, but I do.""

HELP : ( I need dental coverage but I am a temp.Can anyone recommend insurance?!?

I'm having a really hard time finding an insurance company that are available to temps. Unfortunately I make too much to be eligible for medicaid, which is ironic because I don't make a lot of money! lol So any suggestions!? I really need to go to the dentist asap, I'm in a lot of pain :'(""

Is there a life insurance that can be purchased for a 90 year old lady?

Is there a life insurance that can be purchased for a 90 year old lady?

Where I get reference with Children insurance?

I've family and he have children, and now want join insurance for their children. Can you give me a reference?""

Paying a full year of homeowners insurance up front out of pocket?

I'm closing next week on my first house and the mortgage guy just informed me that i have to pre pay a full yr of homeowner insurance up front out of pocket. Others are telling me that this is usually included in the closing costs. In my case the owners are paying all closing costs. This was never disclosed to me and now I have to come up with an additional $1,000 that could have went towards new appliances that the home needs. Anyone else have any idea if I can include in the closing costs?""

Registering a car in California?

I just bought a car in California. I just moved here and am still looking for a place to live. It was a private sale, but they left me the plates, they said it goes with the car. She also told me I have 10 days to report to the DMV. Is this true? I haven't yet because I still have no place to live. If I opened a PO Box, would that be sufficient to register my car to, and even a drivers license? Or do I need a street address? What should I do? Also, can I insure it with just a PO box? I hope to have a place within the next week, but I'm still waiting on all of this right now.""

Car Insurance Question?

Here's the quick version of the story- I'm 21 and have just totaled my Altima on a rainy night, crashing into the back of a parked SUV, also totaling that. I have received a $700 bill for the ambulance, a $1200 for the radiography and, here's the kicker, a $24,000 bill for the hospital. I do not have medical insurance or medical coverage on my car insurance and will not be able to pay off the hefty hospital bill. What options do I have?""

Help with Car Insurance quote?

Hey there, I just wondered if someone could help me with a query on car insurance. Does anyone know how much I could end up paying for Insurance for a Vauxhall Corsa? I'm 23, and passed my test in January and was thinking off buying a car in a month or 2. Ive tried various sites for insurance quotes but they all ask for your number and I don't want to get hassled. The details of the type of car I'd like is as follows: Transmission: manual Fuel: petrol Engine size: 1.2L Doors: 5 Not much I know but this is the site I got the details from: http://www.arnoldclark.co.uk/detail.html?ac_reg=blk_u31kotjueau0i8uc&$ac_sr=0&$ac_pp=10&$blk=1&$franchiselist=vaux&$model=Corsa&$franchise=vaux&$model=Corsa I realise I probably wont get an exact amount but even an idea of how much I might end up paying a month. Thanks for any help :)""

Who provides really affordable car insurance?

I'm 19 in a month, I drive a 2002 Ford explorer and it needs to have full coverage. What are some cheap insurance providers for teenagers? What can I do to lower the cost?""

How to obtain depreciation from insurance company?

I had a roof claim at the end of the year for $45K. Ultimately the roof failed and damaged the interior of the home as well. The insurance company sent an initial check for $38K, and there is $7K in depreciation as a hold back. Once the work was completed I sent the insurance company a final invoice from the contractor for $44K. The invoice listed all of the work done and a grand total. The adjust is asking for line item detail around the charges. My contractor is telling me this is a ridiculous request and won't provide. So now I am sitting here with an adjuster who won't budge on their stance and a contractor who won't help. Are there any hard and fast rules on how to obtain the depreciation funds. In the couple of claims prior to this over the years, all I had to turn in was a generic invoice. I am at a loss and need to get those funds to close this deal out. I have full replacement value.""

Are there any good Websites about Insurance ?

For someone who is newbie in Insurance , Also if it contains cases and Q&A it would be best Does anyone know any ???""

Individual dental insurance for braces?

What is a good individual dental insurance if I were to get braces? I have done some research and nailed it down to DeltaCare and Pacificare. So which dental insurance is better, or any other suggestions? Pacificare cost slightly less than DeltaCare as far as co-payments go. Both are HMO plans, all the PPO plans covers little to nothing for braces, so HMO seems to be the only way to go for an individual plan. DeltaCare seems to be more reliable since it's associated with Delta Dental, a little more costly also. I'm more concerned about the quality of the services as far as making claims and such. So DeltaCare, Pacificare, or ay other dental insurance/plans? Any personal experience with either of these companies? I am in San Francisco, California.""

Would insurance on a 1992 lexus sc 300 be expensive? im 18 year old in riverside california?

yes i recently just got my license and im only 18 in riverside california

How much would the insurance of a 125 cc Honda Innova cost in Ireland ?

I'm 17 turning 18 in december and want to start driving the bike .

Will my car insurance rates go up after my first fender bender?

I'm sixteen years old and i got into my first fender bender. I was at fault, but the officer at the scene said that the damage was minor and would probably be less than 400 dollars. However, I was just wondering if my parent's insurance rate would go up ( I'm under their name) and whether or not it would just be easier to pay out of pocket. And if it did go up, how much do you think ( i live in Tennessee )""

Are insurance rates high for classic cars?

Are insurance rates high for classic cars?

Where can I find affordable health insurance?

It is for me, not a family""

What's the best car insurance company 2 get the lowest price rates on a 74 caprice classic?

What's the best car insurance company 2 get the lowest price rates on a 74 caprice classic?

Car Insurance Question..?

I don't have car insurance, but I have a driver's license. I am 16 years old living in Arkansas and I don't drive much. My parents have insurance and when they added me to the policy (of 2 cars), it went from $150 a month to $350, which we can't afford. We cancelled that insurance (with geico) and now have esurance, where my parents pay $135 monthly (with the same coverage), without me added. Should I be added on the policy, even though I don't drive much? If I'm driving and get in an accident, can I say that I was just burrowing my dad's car? Will I be covered under him then? (since i don't have my own car) I am confused. How does this work? thanks""

How much will a insurance company payout for whiplash and soft tissue injury?

I was invloved in a car accident where a person was texting and ran into the back of me on the highway going about 60MPH how much does a insurance company usually pay out for personal injury and should i use a lawer or settle by myself

Being denied by insurance for pizza delivery?

I applied for a driving postion at a local pizza resturant, and when i went in for the interview I was told so long as the insurance approved me i would start training in a week, and when i called today i was told the insurance did not approve me, and was not given a reason why, and i have no tickets or accidents at all on my driving record, any body in the insurance or pizza delivering bussiness know possibly why i was denied by the insurance?""

Which car would be cheaper for me to insure?

Would it be cheap for me to insure myself on my mum's insurance (her being the main driver) on a renault megane 1.5 or to buy my own car and insure it (Vauxhall corsa 1.2)? Thanks

How much does car insurance usually cost for a regular car?

don't give me a stupid link or tell me to check out a website just give me your estimate. How much do you pay?

""Can i make a car insurance in my name, if my girlfriend owns the car?""

I had some problems with DVLA some time ago becose i didn t SORN a car in time. Now i want to buy a car and make the papers on my girlfriend name becose of that...she dosen t have a driving license and the car is for me, so i want to make the insurance in my name....is that possible, will the insurance coste more becose i m not the owner??""

What would happen with my insurance company?

I hit a car 10 months ago. The guy said I didn't have to pay for it because he said the car was a piece of crap. So no reports were filed or anything. 1 month after the accident, he wants the car fixed. What would happen if I called my insurance and told them this? Would my rates rise? Would I pay extra fees? Would my insurance still cover it? I live in California and have Farmers and I am under 18""

Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

Can you go to a dentist without an insurance card?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/im-someone-else-car-insurance-am-i-liable-anthony-lopez/"

[frederickwiddowson]

Blood - sermon notes (revised)

I want to discuss two definitions of family and the blood that connects them both. I want to talk about those definitions and blood. Yes, blood. Our blood that connects us to our loved ones and Christ’s blood that connects us to our Creator are worthy of thought.

The first definition of a family is that a family consists of people with whom you share blood or who live together under a roof even if they are not related. You know; genes, DNA, blood. It is typically made up of a mother, a father, and children that issued from them. In past times when men died young and women died in childbirth often it would consist of step-children, half-children, adopted children, and blood children. In modern times, this is the normal way of families by choice as people get divorced and change spouses as often as they change fashions, or so it can seem. But, family also consists of step-children, half-children, adopted children, and blood children with a parent or with two parents or sometimes another relative or relatives all living together or united by having lived together at some point.

It’s a mistake to downplay the importance of blood. I made that mistake and it has hurt me and took the life of someone I loved dearly. Let me explain. I didn’t think of blood as being very important a long time ago. I grew up in a family that did little but fight and argue with parents that were unaccepting of me and each other, even though they bestowed material blessings on each other and myself abundantly. Also, I was never very popular, due to my personality maybe, among the majority of my extended family of cousins, aunts, and uncles and even grandparents. So, for me, a family had to be a choice, not something that happened to you by accident. I had two biological daughters and I loved my daughters but I lacked that sense of duty that my grandfather told my mother once was the reason he was hospitable to us; it was his duty, he said. I just didn’t get it like most people do. Most people regard blood as very important. I still have trouble with that. My experiences with blood relations had not been, well, very satisfying and I freely take the blame for much of that as I am not an easy person to like.

So, to me, when I met Beth, and fell in love, marrying a woman with 9 kids wasn’t a sacrifice. I didn’t leap over something or have to ignore anything. I wasn’t worried about what my kids wouldn’t have or about any possible conflicts. I loved Beth and, in my fallible way, I loved her children, particularly the ones that took to me right away so it was no sacrifice or tough decision to marry her.

However, there was one thing I was missing. That was how important blood or not being blood would be to those children and my own, and my birth family. Now, understand I was a bit of tyrant or a grouch and was neither a good step-parent or parent from the position of what I know now so I had other issues with my parenting than just ignorance. One step-son eventually said in retrospect that I acted more like an angry employee than a father and he was right.

My oldest biological daughter grew up in an environment where I repeated my own father’s mistakes, as I seemed to stew in confusion and anger most of the time when I didn’t have a beer in my hand. On top of all that my daughter craved a relationship with her biological mother. This mother rejected her twice and threatened her life once for not calling her “mommy.” Beth was her step-mother and my daughter was the one who actually proposed that I marry Beth and kept asking, as a three year old, “When us gettin’ married?” but when she got older she still longed to know and be loved and accepted by a biological mother who simply did not want her, regardless of my daughter’s love for her, and took her frustration at not getting that acceptance from her birth mother out on Beth. That lack of feeling on my part and my lack of understanding of how badly my oldest daughter and my step-sons needed their biological parent who shared their gender and their DNA simply showed my own callousness and weakness of mind and heart.

But, even if I had been a wonderful person, a great father-figure, and a true encourager and supporter of my children and step-children, it would have been incumbent upon me and it is important for every parent, step-parent, and adoptive parent not to be angry or hurt when a child seeks out some kind of closure or acceptance from a biological parent, no matter what a jerk or what a worthless loser they might be. Do not underestimate the power of blood. If you ignore it that will be to your detriment and to the harm of your children, and not all of them will feel this way, but to the harm of your children and step-children who feel that need to connect, at least for closure, and possibly for acceptance with that biological parent.

Just think of the issues of blood in recent history; the Turkish massacre of the Armenians in WWI, the Holocaust, racial slavery and Jim Crow laws in the U.S., a Civil War where brother fought brother and father fought against son, Bosnian-Serbian atrocities, and even the Hatfields and McCoys. You’re not in my tribe. You’re not my blood. You’re an OTHER. On and on, blood causes issues. Anger. Rage. Murder even. But definitely pain. Remember David made a great slaughter of the Geshurites. See 1Samuel 27:8,9. He took the daughter of the king, made her his wife, and had a son, Absalom, by her. A son by another wife raped Absalom’s sister and Absalom killed him and fled to his maternal family’s protection. Forty years after the initial massacre, and people are always arguing about what that forty years means but it seems obvious to me, Absalom returned and rebelled (2Samuel 15:7 and context) against David causing great sorrow and pain for David, nearly costing him his kingdom and his life. This was permitted by God because David committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband, Uriah, by the sword of the Ammonites. We all know the story. Blood is important.

I only recently learned this. Years after my daughter’s suicide things started to come clear. My mother, in a way, rejected my surviving biological daughter, her children, and my step-children and none of the latter want anything to do with her as she sits in a home for the elderly. Beth explained to me how my oldest daughter needed some kind of closure with her biological mother, some kind of acceptance and that final rejection, not long before she committed suicide, was probably a cause, one cause, of her final act. I didn’t get it, though.

I went through a lot of questioning, trying to understand why my daughter wanted so badly to be accepted by a mother who rejected her and also why my stepsons needed to connect with their biological extended family who had not been involved in their lives. I just didn’t get it. Finally, I read a story on the internet about a step-father who provided everything for his step-daughter, trying to buy his place to replace her father who was worthless. When she wanted her biological father to give her away at her wedding the step-father was paying for he exploded and canceled everything he was doing and left the girl and her mother. He was not appreciated or respected for his efforts. I thought, what an idiot, what a selfish dolt, to not respect the power of blood and the need for his step-daughter to be walked down the aisle, to be approved of, to have her life’s choice affirmed by her blood Dad. Then, I cried. That man was me or could have been. What I realized was that I had been as blind as the man I was condemning, and just as stupid. Blood is important even though I have pretty great relationship with most of my step-children. Some even love me. I have a good relationship with most of them and they have all been very kind and generous to me, plus, they have all turned out to be really good people thanks to God and their mother. My remaining biological daughter, whom I am very proud of, loves only Beth as her mother and never had an attachment to her biological mother who did not want her either.

Now, let’s look at another definition of family. In one regard, a family consists of people who share your blood and a family can consist of people who would shed their blood for you. Numerous studies have been done and books even written about how in combat, soldiers don’t give their lives for the flag, the Constitution, apple pie, or mom. They give their lives for their comrades. The surviving heroes often say they just wanted the guys they were with to be able to go home. Soldiers who come home can get stressed out and even go berserk thinking of the guilt they have for leaving their buddies back in harm’s way or even surviving while others who they think of as good or better than they are died and they didn’t. It tears them up. That is a powerful family that war can create.

In English Literature there are few greater declarations of shed blood and shared blood outside of the Bible than Shakespeare’s play Henry V and the famous St. Crispin’s Day speech that preluded the Battle of Agincourt where he rallied the outnumbered English against a superior French army. In it, King Henry says,

“…We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother…”

We must also remember that we are in the family of God by virtue of Christ shedding His blood on the Cross for us. We are united by blood, but His, not ours. You can have 20 children, physical children, but the only ones who will go to Heaven are the ones who join that family. Paul says in the third chapter of Ephesians.

   14 ¶ For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

God has adopted us and this adoption is more sure than a normal birth. It can never be broken promising a type of body that can never die.

Romans 8:15  For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father….23  And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.

Jesus Himself extended the meaning of family in relation to Him in the passage starting in Matthew 12:46;

46 ¶  While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him. 47  Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. 48  But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? 49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 50  For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

In Revelation the prime characteristic of the end-time martyrs and, indeed, all Christians of all times, is to be their willingness to shed their blood for Christ as they are slandered by Satan continually.

Revelation 12:10  And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. 11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

For the key element in a life for Christ is not holding that life to be greater than the one who gave it. Paul says in Philippians 3;

7  But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. 8  Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

   9 ¶ And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: 10  That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; 11  If by any means I might attain unto (means understand or wrap my mind around; see Psalm 139:6 and Proverbs 1:5) the resurrection of the dead. 12  Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect (complete and entire; see Colossians 4:12, James 1:4): but I follow after, if that I may apprehend (to know, perceive, or understand) that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Christ paid for the church, purchased, bought us with His own blood.

Acts 20:28  Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood.

1Corinthians 6:20  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1Corinthians 7:23  Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.

The blood that unites believers with God creates a stronger real bond that any other type of family blood. The proof is the promise of eternal life. When we receive Christ we receive the Holy Spirit, His Spirit, indwelling us, as earnest money, a deposit on our inheritance in eternity and the redemption of our bodies.

Ephesians 1:3 ¶  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: 4  According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: 5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, 6  To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. 7  In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; 8  Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence; 9  Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself: 10  That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him: 11  In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will: 12 That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ. 13  In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, 14  Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.

Make no mistake. We are in a war as Henry’s English archers were and as American soldiers, marines, airman, and sailors in every battle from Brandywine to the Argonne Forest to the deserts of Afghanistan. But our warfare is never carnal with bombs and planes and bullets. It is spiritual against sin and disobedience to God within us.

2Corinthians 10:3  For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4  (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 6  And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.

And it is our union by way of Christ’s blood that makes us an eternal family, unites Jew and Gentile into the church of God, and makes each one of us a temple for God’s Spirit to dwell in.

Ephesians 2:11 ¶  Wherefore remember, that ye being in time past Gentiles in the flesh, who are called Uncircumcision by that which is called the Circumcision in the flesh made by hands; 12  That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world: 13  But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.

   14 ¶ For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us; 15 Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace; 16  And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby: 17  And came and preached peace to you which were afar off, and to them that were nigh. 18  For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father. 19  Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; 20  And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; 21  In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: 22  In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.

The earthly family spends its time seeking its own, worshipping Self, and demanding what it believes is its due. The heavenly family fights against sin and rebellion against God in its own soul and worships Christ, surrendering Self to Him while being willing for the Creator of the universe to work through them on earth.

Mark 8:34  And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

We have been born again, the second time into a family who will enjoy each other’s fellowship for eternity, who will not dispute each other there, who will cause no pain to each other, who will not shun each other’s company, or form cliques to push aside ones they don’t like or approve of, as human families do. This family is not based on our blood but on God’s own blood and we will be like Christ.

We would do well even now to love our heavenly family as we are compelled to do in the Bible. Paul gives us several commands of particular importance regarding our relationships within the church. Read Romans, chapter 12 and 1Thessalonians 5. Remember, we are going to be with each other and the people from the Baptist church down the road and the people from the Vietnamese church in the jungles of Southeast Asia and the Liberian church in West Africa FOR EVER and we would do well to get along with each other now. This family is based on Christ’s blood, not our own, and we will answer to Him for our treatment of each other in this family as well as in our earthly family.

There are two things that should stand out in our rules concerning our treatment of each other that are not often talked about. One, if you are what Discovery channel or Animal Planet people call an “Alpha male” or an “Alpha female” leave it at home. There is no place for your dominating attitude within the body of Christ. Neither is their room for your self-righteousness in thinking that anyone who has not accepted and applied to their own lives your convictions is less than you. Think of these things in both your relationship with your spouse and children and in your relationship with your church family.

Romans 12:1 ¶  I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2  And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 3  For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. 4  For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: 5  So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. 6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; 7  Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; 8  Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness. 9  Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. 10  Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; 11  Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; 12  Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; 13  Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. 14  Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. 15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. 16  Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. 17  Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18  If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19  Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20  Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21  Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

The other is, don’t even let someone get the wrong idea about what you are doing or your intentions toward them. Evil can be sinful iniquity or it can be malicious intent, malice, depending on the context. In the following it can go either way. Again, these things apply to both families.

1Thessalonians 5:22  Abstain from all appearance of evil.

For either definition of evil don’t give someone the opportunity to think you are doing something sinful and don’t give someone the opportunity to think you have malice in your heart toward them.

And remember that family that God gave you here on earth, the one that consists of your blood and perhaps a step-child or adopted children? They are your first church, with father as pastor, or in some cases mother, when no father is present. You need to devote yourself to presenting Christ to them in the most God-glorifying way possible. Examine yourself. Are you presenting yourself as a Christian to them while you display these godless traits in your speech and behavior?

Romans 1:29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30  Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31  Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

So you clearly have responsibilities toward your blood family, your adopted children, your step-children that have direct implications and consequences in eternity. But, there are also, as I pointed out, responsibilities that have as great implications for the family you are in by virtue of your second birth, the family created not by your blood, but by Christ’s.

Remember, as you love your earthly family, even the unsaved among them, that you are called to also love your heavenly family. Do you love each other? Can you even say that you love God?

1John 4:20  If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

In the Bible the word charity is a reference to the quality of a Christian’s love for his brothers and sisters in Christ.

Colossians 3:12 ¶ Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13  Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 14  And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. 15  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. 16  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17  And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

1Peter 4:8  And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.9  Use hospitality one to another without grudging.10  As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

2Peter 1:5 ¶ And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; 6  And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;7  And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

Now, I want to finish with keeping that definition of charity in mind and I want you to contemplate this chapter in your future relations with your family in Christ.

1Corinthians 13:1 ¶ Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

   4 ¶  Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5  Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6  Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7  Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

   8 ¶  Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9  For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10  But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11  When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12  For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

If you don’t love other Christians, don’t kid yourself into saying you love God. It’s a contradiction.

[rusticrevivals]

I love the verb “to rise”.  It harbours such an Easter, springlike connotation.  Unless it’s used in the context of Richard trying to get a rise out of me, (which he likes to do multiple times in a day) this is also a beautiful NOUN, especially when used in conjunction with words like “Sunrise” or “Moonrise”.  Aren’t those lovely and romantic words?

When I stepped into the mysterious gloaming Monday night, after yet another dance rehearsal at the little New Denmark rec centre with ‘the tiara club’ (see last week’s post), the moon was just poking out over the tree line. As I drove the three miles home, the so-called “Pink Moon” (named after pink flowers called wild ground phlox, which bloom in early spring, the ‘pink moon’ is the first full moon of springtime in the Northern Hemisphere) rose very quickly in the sky, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it the whole way home. Good thing our road is so quiet there wasn’t another car on it!

We are down to less than 40 percent of the snow we’ve had all winter, now, thanks to a few good rainfalls and one day of actual double digits -with sun!  We now hear some songbirds, not just crows.  And, this morning, as I sat eating my homemade pancakes with our own fresh maple syrup from weeks of Richard’s toil’n’boil, I had to open the top of the Dutch door that Richard made last fall (see posting from Sept. 16th entitled The Dutch Door Diva, if you missed the construction of this beloved kitchen feature)  and listen to the ‘rise’ and swell of jubilant bird song in the air.

my breakfast this morning, with top of door open to hear birds

As I bake bread, nearly every 2nd day, the word “Rise” is especially important to me. I’ve discovered that, as I’d once thought in my 20s when I used to regularly bake bread, the amount of rise is NOT as important, especially if you like to eat toast and sandwiches as we do.  You don’t have to ‘cater’ to the yeast as much as you might think, although it SHOULD be warm water it dissolves in, and a sprinkling of sugar will help excite it further! But if the bread rises TOO much over the loaf pans, you’ll not be able to cut it as easily, nor to fit it into the toaster!  Thus, I try for a good ‘first’ rise, and just a quick one after the initial punch-down.  (Of course this also depends on the amount of white/vs.wholewheat flour I’m using. This past week I ran out of white, and as Richard and I hate JUST plain whole wheat, I zested the bread up with some cardamon, parsley, thyme and oregano. I didn’t put it in a loaf pan, either, just made it in a circle on the baking sheet and let it rise a bit there. Try it, it was fabulous!)  As the sale at the rec centre last Saturday morning was my (Rustic Revivals’) first one in this province, I made a lot of Easter-oriented and spring items. And one of the ones of which I’m most proud is the following cushion which I stitched by hand from a flour sack. I  then stencilled a double meaning on to the thick linen, so that it could be for general use, or as a special Easter gift.  It didn’t sell at the sale, so I can enjoy it further, I guess.

For readers in Ontario, there is a wonderful group around the Toronto area called “R.I.S.E.” which a few theatre-grad friends of mine have volunteered with in the past:  “Reaching Intelligent Souls Everywhere (RISE) is a community led by youth, comprised of artists, activists, free-thinkers and revolutionaries. Together, they help to create a safe and welcoming platform for self-expression and healing through the performance arts.” This is, of course, ‘right up my alley’ – but since I’m now living out here in ‘boonesville’, where my heart is, I am trying to do what I can.  As discussed last week when revealing the small amount of young people’s performance art (ie: “The Tiara Club”) that I’m working with here in this small rural community, the sense of being close to nature and the “rustique” of our agricultural history is important here, and that’s one of the things I love about being in the mountains.  Local photographer Tiffany Christensen blends my two passions frequently in her work.  Nature and Rustic. Love it!

As presented in last week’s blog …”Purty Pals and Gingham Gals”, Tiffany will ‘rise’ to any occasion and is being especially helpful as we move forward to the Founder’s Day celebrations this year here in this peaceful valley.  And her last name, while being both indicative of the many Danish names in the community AND the true meaning of Easter is a happy circumstance at the time of this writing.  “Risen” is even there in her name!

The above is the 3rd tobacco slat cross I’ve made from the weathered sticks I was offered from my Ontario cousins, Pete and Linda Baxter, when they were moving from their own farm.  I am so pleased Richard agreed to let me bring so much of this wood with us out here, and two of these crosses have now fittingly, I think, gone to Reverend Diane of Carlisle, ON and Pastor Ralph, of New Denmark, N.B.

Of course when you mention “Easter” and “Rise” in the same sentence, it isn’t always a positive thing. Christ died for our sins, true, and then rose to live forever in us, for us.  But sometimes, sadly, it is just about death. Period.  As we do not have television here, we enjoy a wonderful BBC feed through various online sources, which we then project to Richard’s large screen.   One of my favourite British serials is Lark RISE to Candleford.  If you haven’t seen it, but are a fan of period costume drama, find a way to view the whole series.  (available at many libraries, and also, in part, online – or you could buy the box set!) However, I have recently become enamored with the u.k. version (original one!) of “Who Do You Think You Are”?  I do NOT consider this a ‘reality show’, so please don’t suggest it is! I find it a stimulating way to learn history.  Watching it  led to the revealing of several of our favourite Irish performers’ ancestors such as Brendan O’Carroll (the hilarious Mrs. Brown of ‘Mrs. Brown’s Boys) being involved in the Easter Risings of 1916, and I was thus motivated to read and study more about that particular unrest.  Yeats’ poem “Easter: 1916” ends so solemnly, despite the green of  the Emerald Isle and the new spring:  “Now and in time to be, Wherever green is worn, Are changed, changed utterly:  A terrible beauty is born”.

Then, this week of course was yet another 100th anniversary – that of Vimy Ridge, which also took place originally over Easter weekend.  Mom/Joy was especially interested in this as her great-uncle died there, and I was pleased that CBC did a live stream which she could also enjoy from her laptop computer.  So, Easter is about rising, but also about the fallen.   However,  just as the Canadians were important ‘rising’ to the top of Vimy Ridge a century ago, so are our Canadians poignant in their passion for standing up for what is right in all things crucial to the survival of man-kind:

(Rise up, Rise up) Oh rise and show your power, (Rise up, Rise up) We're dancing into the sun (Rise up, Rise up) It's time for celebration (Rise up, Rise up) Spirits' time has come... ...Talkin 'bout the right time to be workin' for peace, Wantin' all the tension in the world to ease. - by Canadian band, Parachute Club

 I love those lyrics, and while I’ve hardly been considered a pop-music fan, the late 1970s and early 1980s WERE about the only time when I listened to such music. Those words have always stayed with me (as well as the ‘catchy’ tune to which they were sung).  And now that Trumpty Dumbty is tumbling from his wall, I believe we must indeed work harder than ever for peace.  And, as spring is here, we must ‘dance into the sun’, as it’s ‘time for celebration’.  I tried hard, at my Rustic Revivals’ booth last week, to make a ‘new’ and ‘springlike’ impression:

I put more colour (light pastels) into my pieces than ever before, and tried to think of inspirational/springlike words for salvaged pieces of wood (‘dream’ is painted on an old dove-tailed drawer-piece, and the rusty flower on the ‘bloom’ sign is an old car part I found along the side of the road and banged into that shape).

As for the Easter wreath (bottom left of the ‘booth’ pic above), as well as having a barnboard cross on it, I also added some pastel colour with some recycled craft pieces (ie: bird’s nest with ‘eggs’, sign with ‘hope’ and some baby chicks, etc) .  Furthermore, I also did several pieces in actual COLOUR (totally new to the Rustic Revivals’ precedent!)

The only colour I could say I’ve really put on to any project before now was my salvage art LOVE sign, which I’ve always thought was fun:

And I’m especially proud of the ‘new’ spindle and finial ornaments (candle holders glued together from pieces given me by former choir mate, Ron, so thus ‘salvaged’, though he bought them new for his own projects and never used them).  They again make me think of ‘rise’, as I’ve had to glue both the ornaments and the candleholders into twos and threes to make them higher, before painting them with the two colours necessary for ‘crackling’ and distressing. (You need an acrylic undercoat, usually darker, then the ‘crackle’ mix, which you CAN make yourself, before adding the final coat.) These add that pastel colour to the spring line, pastels of course replicating the colours of spring flowers and birds’ eggs in nests.

Did any Rustic Revivals’ followers ever think they’d see so much colour mixed in to my shabby chic and primitive concepts?  (The rusty hearts were cut from old rusty paint can lids found on this very farm!)  But it IS spring!

And speaking of birds, bird song, and bird houses/nests, I did several of them as well, and the primitive ‘willow’ tree did sell, though not the others, I was sorry to say. Especially since Richard put so much effort into the design and building of these two wonderful houses, also made from my Baxter cousins’ barnboard.

And, we couldn’t really have an Easter show without SOME semblance of bunnies, chicks and lambs, so here they are:

While all of the above are made entirely from salvage items, scraps or from nature itself, I AM proud that they are newly-made or upcycled for this year’s ‘spring’, despite having many other spring items (even MADE from rusty springs from a sleigh’s old seat, for instance!) and including fishing and canoeing-themed items, gardening items, etc.  All ‘springy’.  But, when examining again the true meaning of Easter, I was happy to put a little folk-art New Denmark scene with the two landmark churches on top of the next hill-top.  Both churches have crosses on top of them in real life, and both have them painted on as well. This was done on a small cutting board of Mom/Joy’s that she wanted to dispose of.  This is only half the board:

This scene depicts the ploughing, planting and cheerful green-growth that happens around the farms in the early spring.  As you  may have read in my post “Blue Belldon Basement Grow Op.” several weeks ago, things were planted down there that are now beginning to ‘rise’ as well!

And also, chosen to add cheeriness to my kitchen window, and almost perpetually NOT blooming, even my red geranium has decided to ‘rise’ to the occasion of SPRING!

Thus, as my father used to joyously quote (in an Ogden Nash burst of silliness, though it is NOT written by that poet) :

"Spring is Sprung, The grass is RIZ - I wonder where The birdies is? " or, of a less silly subject matter, is George Herbert's "Easter".

Easter –

Rise heart: thy Lord is risen. Sing his praise Without delayes, Who takes thee by the hand, that thou likewise With him mayst rise: That, as his death calcined thee to dust, His life may make thee gold, and much more just.

Awake, my lute, and struggle for thy part With all thy art. The crosse taught all wood to resound his name, Who bore the same. His stretched sinews taught all strings, what key Is best to celebrate this most high day.

Consort both heart and lute, and twist a song Pleasant and long: Or since all music is but three parts vied And multiplied; O let thy blessed Spirit bear a part, And make up our defects with his sweet art.

I got me flowers to straw thy way; I got me boughs off many a tree: But thou wast up by break of day, And brought’st thy sweets along with thee.

The sunne arising in the East, Though he give light, & th’East perfume; If they should offer to contest With thy arising, they presume.

Can there be any day but this, Though many sunnes to shine endeavour? We count three hundred, but we misse: There is but one, and that one ever.

R I S E : the Risings of Yeast, and Yeats and Yeshua I love the verb "to rise".  It harbours such an Easter, springlike connotation.  Unless it's used in the context of Richard trying to get a rise out of me, (which he likes to do multiple times in a day) this is also a beautiful NOUN, especially when used in conjunction with words like "Sunrise" or "Moonrise".