#legit he's the only one i've wanted this whole time like GUYS PLEASE

[mu1tiverse-arch]

i'm the only one complaining abt this but the fact that each member of a sw trio has a f.ortnite skin except p.oe d.ameron just makes me really bummed

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

so sorry to take a break from politics for a second, but i need to rant about this new Joker movie.

please no. please please please no. for so many reasons.

the simplest of which is that the Joker is just such a tired story. it's been told so fucking many times. we get it! toxic masculine asshole falls into chemicals, turns into supervillain, manipulates and abuses his girlfriend, "sOcIeTy" yadda yadda fucking yadda. it was interesting for a while, but it's not anymore. there's no new way to tell this story!! it's been told!!

if you know me personally, you know that Harley Quinn is an icon of mine, and the movie Birds of Prey is extremely important to me. now before anybody comes at me about how "bad" a movie BoP was, i don't wanna hear it. you won't change my mind in thinking it's incredible. the only legit criticism i've seen has been badly veiled misogyny, or upset about the pacing (it was told by Harley Quinn! what did you expect?). but Birds of Prey was AMAZING because Margot Robbie fought HARD to FREE HARLEY QUINN. as the comics have made clear, Joker/Harley is one of the most toxic relationships to exist. Joker is manipulative, abusive, take all the credit for Harley's work, and overall, it's just a shitty relationship. but somehow the Joker movies have convinced the media that Joker/Harley is soooo romantic because Harley is so ride or die. Joker/Harley feeds into the "dark romance" genre. it appeals to men because Joker forces Harley into sexuality and Harley does whatever he says. women somehow got tricked into thinking it was romantic, too. and this pisses me off especially because in the comics!!! Joker/Harley is established to be abusive!!! and Harley gets out!!! and has a healthy relationship with Poison Ivy!!! and in BoP, Margot Robbie had to FIGHT the writers every step of the way to make Harley a) leave the Joker b) not go crawling back to him and c) be her own, fabulous person like she is in the comics. the point is, BoP and Suicide Squad 2 Harley is perfect, lines up with comic Harley, and is a huge role model for women, especially women leaving toxic relationships. and NOW this new Joker wants to throw all that away and make Harley that girl who bends over backwards to support Joker's abuse again! they want to undo all of that progress just to give us the same old "love story" that's really just a sick man preying on a girl (who was put in an uncomfortable position to turn him down because she was his therapist!!). why must we tell this same, tired story, WHILE throwing away all our progress with Harley that Margot Robbie pushed so damn hard for!

and finally, i'm just sick of how the audience receives the Joker. no matter how obviously Joker is shown as not a good guy or role model, teenage (and older) boys will ALWAYS view him as this hero who enforces toxic masculinity in a way that's cool enough that it sucks them in! the more we tell this fuckers story and glorify his shitty behavior (EVEN IF THE MOVIE IS TRYING TO BE SATIRE THAT CRITICIZES HIS BEHAVIOR), the more boys and men will insist that he's a role model and let their own toxic masculinity and woman hating grow and feed off him. THE JOKER IS NOT A FEEL GOOD STORY!! you're not supposed to hear the Joker talk and actually agree with him!! but just like American Psycho, these men will take a piece of media telling a CAUTIONARY TALE/SATIRICAL PIECE about toxic masculinity and make it their whole personality and use it to justify their own shitty behavior.

Gaga, please. I adore you, but i expected more from you. we do not need another Joker. i'm not prepared to see the halloween costumes of girls who are genuinely tricked into thinking this story is romantic. i'm not ready for the boys and men imitating the Joker again. i don't want to hear the same damn story again and again and again when the original point has been lost and misconceived dozens of remakes ago. why.

[blakenation1]

Dead Poets Society showing affection to their friends (hugs, gifts)

Inspired by @forrestpoet ❤️ I LOVE YOUR BLOG AND YOU'RE SO KIND!!!! Under the cut 😋

Charlie's love language is gift giving, idc.

He would love spoiling his friends/partner so much

Like if you go shopping with Charlie and like "ohhhhh I'm kind of hungry but I probably shouldn't spend anymore money-" "It's okay just get the whole menu it's on me"

THANK YOU CHARLIE 😋😋

Okay.... How would they hug....

I feel like if Neil is playfully hugging his friends or something like that he squeezes them so tightly

If you need a gentle hug just let him know and he's got ya

Todd wouldn't like being touched, but his hugs would be very gentle. If someone needed a hug, he would think about giving them one, but would probably prefer to just pat them on the back or something like that

coming from a fellow human that doesn't like to be touched a whole lot

I've said this once before and I'll say it again, Pitts and Knox would give the best hugs ever, and they would be glad to give anyone a hug whenever they needed it

If a stranger went up to Knox holding out their arms for a hug, Knox would not hesitate to embrace them

Pitts is casually very physically affectionate with his friends

SO is Knox

I can see Pitts + Knox getting along well for this reason

Pitts/Knox casually putting his arm around any and all of his friends shoulders

IDK they're both just tall guys who are dorks

one chance please

ANYWAY...

Okay, let's talk GIFTS....

Neil gets his friends something for Christmas every year, no matter what, even if he's only known a friend for a very short amount of time.

He makes sure to put a lot of thoughts into gifts too, like he gets something very specific to that person.

For example, he probably gets Charlie something really silly (probably has to do with an inside joke between the two of them) or perhaps something for his saxophone

the silly one was a bright pink beret

Charlie also gets all of his friends something, but goes out of his way to ask them what they want.... A little something like this:

Charlie casually walks into Todd + Neil's room while only Todd is in there, just hanging out, lounging on his bed, and Charlie acts like he's about to drop the bomb on him. He sighs as he enters the room, and Todd's eyes dart up towards Charlie, and away from his book. Charlie pulls out Todd's desk chair and sits in it backwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair, looking down.

"Toddy..." he starts, Todd looking at him like 'what'd I do.'

"Yes?" Todd says, ever so softly. Charlie looks up at him, mouth forming a line.

"I have to ask you a very serious question."

"Well, alright," Todd looks him up and down like 'wtf where is this going.' (I live for sassy Todd)

"What.... What do you want for Christmas?"

"Is that seriously it?" Todd sets his book down slightly aggressively for Todd.

LMAOOO I dunno, Charlie is so dramatic I love him.

Charlie then proceeds to get whatever his friends ask for. He loves loves gift giving and seeing his friends open gifts from him.

Okay, debatable, but I can see Todd loving to give his friends handmade gifts :)

Todd made Neil a sweater (he learned to knit! yes he cursed at the needles and yarn 3/4 of the time but! Sweater! for Neil!!)

Todd: "Okay so I know it's not much but I didn't have much time but i stayed up til 3 am last night working on it because I had a last minute idea but I hope you really like it and if you don't I totally get it but-"

Neil: "HUSH.... I love it so much I'm gonna wear it everyday of my life even when it's 90 degrees out in the summer I'm gonna wear it and love it so much. mwah."

Meeks is SO creative with his gift giving.... by this I mean he puts so much into how he wraps his gifts or packages them, that the poets don't even want to open their presents when Meeks gifts any of them something (Christmas, birthdays, etc)

Like on Charlie's birthday, Charlie legit just stared at how elaborately he wrapped his present for a solid ten minutes.

Everyone questions it to themselves, "When does Meeks have time to learn how to wrap gifts so well between Welton and everything else....."

Guess we'll never know!

OKAY CAMERON LET'S TALK ABOUT CAMERON!!

A pretty good gift giver, but he overthinks it a lot

"Will Pitts like this or this? His hair is kind of like mine... should I get him a brush like mine? No no no... He'll think I'm telling him to take better care of his hair, that's mean..... Okay! I'll get him a new tie! No.... He'll think I'm telling him to dress better" and what not

OKAY KNOX LET'S TALK ABOUT MR. OVERSTREET 🤭

What a romantic little guy, he would do so good at gifts, but especially the cards he writes with gifts. His notes to his friends are so so sweet

Charlie called him a corndog for writing such a sappy note with his Christmas gift

Charlie ALSO reads that note almost every night for about two months after Christmas.

Because around two months after Christmas is Valentine's day, and of course Knox wrote Charlie a card on Valentine's day, along with all his other friends. He loves making/writing cards.

Pitts gets A LOT of gag gifts, but makes sure to also get something that his friends would actually like

He definitely got Cameron a pair of earplugs with a note attached that went something like "Anybody bring a pair of earplugs? Well, now you can have your own for Poetrusic part 2!" But he also got Cameron like a nice new pen or something, he got a laugh and a nice pen, not a bad day!

Overall, I think that the poets would all be very gift-y

I can see Neil always giving the sweetest gifts, because he secretly pays a lot of attention to everyone.

[fixaidea]

(No I haven't finished Sha Hai yet and I don't know if at any point the whole cats converges at Gutongjing or no, but let's suppose they do. Please forgive this nonsense, it was eating at my mind and I had to do something with it.)

I would be lying if I said I wasn't bothered by the tourist's presence. You would think the endgame of a decade-long revenge plan deserved some amount of dignity but apparently it was not to be.

My plans were finally coming together, I had all my allies and enemies exactly where I wanted them - and of course this was where the Universe decided to throw me a curveball. Not just any curveball either, no, but a duo of tourists.

Tourists! At Gutongjing!

One of them was Chinese, some guy called Twoflower. He claimed to have been from Beijing, but I hesitate to believe this simply for linguistic reasons. I know the Beijing dialect - and while sure, I understood his pronunciation just fine the sequence of words coming out of his mouth made no sense at all.

Supposedly he was an accountant from Beijing. All right, so far so good.

He saved up a little money and went to visit England. Sounds legit.

When in England he met his now-companion, Professor Rincewind, and hired him to show him around the place. Still sounds fine.

Now this was where I lost the plot - supposedly when on their way to visit the Tower (as in the Tower of London, famous historical prison in London, England) a 'little mishap' (Twoflower's exact words) happened and they 'must have taken the long turn a couple of times' and so they ended up here.

Here, as in in the desert, in Mongolia, in Gutongjing.

An accountant and a linguist. And sure, the professor looked appropriately close to a complete nervous breakdown, but Twoflower seemed only mildly distressed, and even that only because he lost his doggy somewhere.

***

And so here we were, friends, foes and strangers all gathered in a heap, completely surrendered without the slightest sliver of hope of escape. In the past this would have been the the moment when a deus-ex-Zhang-Qiling happened, but for obvious reasons this was now impossible.

My poor Pokerface - the thought of him only made me more depressed. Since Pangzi too was surely going to die here there would be no one to greet him when he finally returns, no one to pick him up and take him home.

I was so caught up in my pre-emptive grief that it took me a moment too long to notice that an eerie silence has fallen. Instead of advancing, all the snakes were staring at the chamber's only entrance. Confused, I strained my ears, but for a long while all I could hear was the breathing of the people behind my back... and then I finally noticed it: the faint tik-tik-tik sound of stubby claws on stone.

And there it was: the ugliest, most bug-eyed Chihuahua I've ever seen, clad in a little tartan jacket, looking like it was experiencing a perpetual Monday morning. Before the questions its presence raised could over-crowd my mind Twoflower's delighted shout broke the silence:

'Oh there you are, Luggage!'

The snakes cautiously advanced. The dog put its head down and growled.

I refuse to describe the rest of what I witnessed that day.

[retrobr]

Lazytown Shenanigans Pt. 4

This time I've watched "The Blue Knight," and I don't really know why but I didn't find this episode interesting. Maybe that's because I want to sleep, but whatever 🥱

"The Blue Knight"

I want to start with the scene in the very beginning: I'm not completely sure why, but the fact that Sportacus had to play chess all by himself made me feel somewhat... sad? Not completely sad, but I hope you know what I mean. He seemed very happy, but that scene kinda gave me a feeling of loneliness. But enough of the sad things out of nothing..

Thanks to this episode I was convinced that Ziggy is literally the best kid in the gang. He treats everyone very kindly, no matter if someone is bad or good; he even suggested Robbie listen to the story about the Blue Knight together. Isn't that sweet?? 🥺 Also kinda felt bad for Ziggy when kids left him (accidentally, I should point out, but still), and he was sad that he couldn't join them. Why do they keep upsetting my boy :(

Oh and well. Meanswell's Scottish accent killed me; the way he read the story about the Blue Knight made me feel kinda odd. That was something fr 😭

And speaking of the Blue Knight, this is literally the very first episode in which I've seen Sportacus wearing something different from his usual outfit. It was kinda refreshing to see him like that; even though his face was shown only at the end of the episode, I was happy to see him in other clothing even despite the fact that it was only the knight's armor and it was difficult for him to move in it (it was quite a sad sight to me.) My bbg-

And since we're talking about the outfits in this episode, Robbie's disguise as a Purple Knight WAS A FIRE. LIKE OMG HELLO HANDSOME?? His outfit kinda reminded me of Crowley (probably because of the hair and its color, idk). I think from now on it's one of my favorite disguises of his :]

And the fact that he made a GODDAMN DRAGON ALL BY HIMSELF. Guys I mean isn't he a genius?? He makes such wonderful things using only what he has – in other words his knowledge, various pieces of metal and other stuff

Oh and also, a small thing that made me feel somewhat confused: I heard that Robbie called Sportacus a "sports elf" or something like that. So is it a canon fact that Sportacus is an actual elf? I mean I thought that it was just a fanon thing, but now I'm not really sure about it 😭

Some "nice" words about my "beloved" Stingy :]]]. I didn't expect to hear something nice from him, but him calling his friends "peasants" made me choke on the air. And yes, I know that was a part of his role as a king and the game in general, but confidence in his voice made it sound pretty... legit. As if he had a good opportunity to call them that and not get any words of objection in return. Damn I hate this kid indeed-

And finally, a paragraph about some ship stuff (my favorite part 😏). Not that I noticed too many things, but the fact that Stephanie called Pixel a "young and handsome prince" made me smile warmly. Idk they seem pretty cute to me, I think it's a shame that there are no more hints at their relationship. And I quite liked Robbie's and Sportacus' "fighting" scene. They are just goofing around, god bless them 🥺💜

In general, the episode was pretty good, I like the theme of the Middle Ages and the outfits based on this historical era. But still, unfortunately, I can't say that it's my favorite; I felt like there was something missing, u know...

As always, thank you for your guys attention. Please know that it makes me genuinely happy that some of you actually read and even like it, it means a whole lot to me 💜

[giantchasm]

top 10 pokemon characters/story arcs?

Hi! Sorry this response is coming a little late. I can take a bit to answer asks, but I swear in general I will get around to them. Life's just been hectic.

To answer your question, though (And assuming this only applies to mainline Pokemon— I'll do everyone a favor and spare you from hearing me talk about my feelings on PMD characters... unless people WANT to hear about those too?)

As a note, this is within the context of how well developed I think their characters/story were, so it's not in the order of my favorites in general. That would vary slightly. For example: I love Raifort, but her ass does NOT have that much going on. I'd also put Volo much higher up than I did on this list.

1 - N - Honestly, I had a lot of trouble deciding whether he or Lillie deserved first place. They're more or less a tie in my book. I think they both had character arcs handled extremely well in different ways. I ultimately opted for giving N this slot because I think BW is just the more thematically rich game as a whole, but I do love Lillie. N is just so fantastic, though. I love his arc as well as the different facets of his personality. He was the first character that was ever truly a "blorbo" in a fandom sense to me and with good reason. I would take Ibuprofen with him any day.

2 - Lillie - Like I said, Lillie almost made first place. I really do love her. I think her arc about learning to stand up for herself and generally carve out her identity as an abused child is extremely well done. She is my FRIEND and it made me VERY SAD when she left at the end of the game. I hope everyone who complains about Sun & Moon's story without ever having actually bothered to engage with it blows up forever.

3 - Arven - Say what you will about Scarlet and Violet- they're buggy, rushed games, but their story slaps. I think Arven's arc and the general way he's characterized is super well done. Although that goes for all of the ScarVi cast! I think they're just sincerely good characters. Blowing up everyone who didn't pay attention to the story then had the audacity to complain about it being bad with my mind here as well. [This is malice directed specifically towards Alpharad for his read on Penny, but don't tell anyone that]

4 - Silver - Silver's interesting in that he comes from a time when Pokemon character arcs weren't super defined but he has such a solid one, so he really stands out! I love him learning to open up, trust, and love his Pokemon and think the way that story is told organically through elements such as his Golbat finally evolving is wonderful. His Pokemas event with Ho-Oh made me cry.

5 & 6 - Cheren and Bianca - I feel weird separating these two because of the way their arcs parallel each other, so they're going together. They really do exemplify the way that Black and White were sincerely well-written games and I love their individual stories as well as the way they play into the themes of the overarching story as a whole.

7 - Cyrus - What a character. Cyrus is well and truly one of the most offputting yet interesting characters in the entire series. His nihilistic outlook burying what little he does seem to sincerely care about is so fascinating, and his backstory easily gives him even more depth. He's just this guy who's like... sincerely mentally unwell, and not in a cartoon villain way. He has legit psychological issues. I would love to study him under a microscope.

8 - Volo - This guy's one of my favorite Pokemon characters, but even I've gotta admit he doesn't actually have that much going on. I feel like so much of what I like about him just came from my head. That said, he has a fun charisma about him, even in canon, and I loved getting stabbed in the back. Please stab me in the back more, GameFreak. ([A flying ice-cream truck appears over my head, a la SpongeBob] IN THE STORY! PLEASE DON'T STAB ME IN THE BACK BY MAKING DISAPPOINTING GAMES...)

9 - Barry - Yet another fantastic character from gen 4. I love him realizing he needs to actually take some things seriously and the way he grapples with his failure to protect the Pokemon of the lake. For the third time in this post I'm blowing people up with my mind, specifically the people who just see him as annoying and loud and don't pay attention to the way he changes over the course of the game. ADHD king.

10 - Bede - Tbh... I don't know if Bede actually deserves to be on this list. I think it's probably a little offensive to put any SWSH character on this list. But truth is... I just like him! Even if it was ostensibly poorly executed, I'm a complete sucker for the "spoiled brat gets smacked in the face by reality and has to learn some goddamn humility" trope, and he embodies it well. I also like how ultimately he finds himself and his place in the world through embracing things stereotypically associated with femininity :) I simply think it's nice.

[samsspambox]

howdy! i did a thing!

tw: medical procedures

i think i've mentioned this before on here but i've been having stomach issues for years (i legit dry heave after every meal. and when i get nervous/any strong emotion. it's so annoying) and i finally got my doctor to refer me over to a gastroenterologist. so! after a 15 minute visit in november, i was scheduled for a Upper Endoscopy, which happened earlier today at a hospital!

now, i've been lucky enough to never be admitted to the hospital before, so this was a first for me. i was scared shitless. that and it was cold, so i couldn't stop trembling LMAO

anyway! i had to go under for a few hours and it was the weirdest experience of my life. and also had some funny bits lol.

when they first hooked me up to a heart monitor, my heart rate Would Not Go Down. it wouldn't fall under 120. the nurse was like 'deep breaths' and i wanted to laugh bc i am an Anxious Person. 120 was as low as it was gonna get LOL. it'd always spike when someone new entered the room too, which was the funniest thing. the person who came to help with my IV was like 'are you okay'? yeah, i was okay. just nervous and scared lol. the IV guy was so nice and even tho he had trouble finding my vein, he only stabbed me once. thank you IV guy.

when the anesthesiologist came in, it was so funny too.

anesthesiologist: do you have any anxiety or depression

me: yes

anesthesiologist: ...one or the other?

me: oh! whoops, both. sorry about that.

and then came the time that they actually put me under. it was so weird. the doctor hadn't even finished saying 'you might feel a little burning' when i just clonked out. the whole world started bubbling and i went 'oh this is weird' and bam, i was asleep. granted i think only having 3 hours of sleep on me helped LMAO

i ended up coming to in recovery! and fairly quickly too, i think they were just finished moving the bed to the spot when i started talking even if my throat was sore. which was also another funny interaction in my opinion LMAO

me, still mildly out of it: is it over?

nurse: it is. you just rest up and then we'll move you to another room.

me: my mom is in the waiting room, can she come in?

nurse: i'm afraid not, sweetie.

me: okay. thank you for taking care of me

nurse: you're welcome. would you like a blanket?

me: yes please, thank you.

let it be known that i am a polite camper!! look at me, using my manners LMAOO

idk how long i actually spent in recovery since i was still mildly out of it and i didn't have my watch or phone on me. they wheeled me out into another recovery room with a heated chair and plopped me down and then got me apple juice, which i was hella stoked about. they then called my mom and she walked into the room, but at this point i was much more lucid and happily eating a graham cracker.

me, looking at my mom who's looking for the room i'm in: oh! ma! hello!!

mom, hearing me and walking over: ay mija! what did they do to you? you're all pale!

me: really? i feel fine though

mom: yes really, you're pale!

me: hey at least i'm awake and conscious enough to tell you how to get out the parking lot

mom: you're right

and then i got discharged, but had to wait a little bit bc my mom got lost inside the hospital and had just made it to the car when they sat me on the wheelchair (a wheelchair!! pushed by a nurse!!! idk i was just very surprised bc i felt like i would walk it on my own and i know it was policy but huh!!) and then we went home at around 9. for context i was at the hospital since 6am, and the last time i was able to check time was at 7:20-ish, so i was out a solid hour and a half.

and then when we got home i crashed and then ate some soup.

this experience was weird. going under was an interesting experience. i hope i never have to do that ever again LMAO.

[izupie]

I got tagged in this like a bazillion years ago but I only just now remembered about it aaaa - thank you for tagging me @microsuedemouse I do love answering these sorts of things <3

------------

1. three ships: ok here we go

Destiel (Dean/Castiel) - don't boo me I'm right - it's the angel/hunter frenemies to friends to lovers pipeline. theyre cute theyre messy theyre besties theyre fighting theyre risking it all to save each other again. *chefs kiss*

Albether (Albedo/Aether) - boyfriends with secrets and emotional scars find comfort in each other. the quiet one with the bubbly one dynamic. plus they just look cute together im sorry

Izuocha (Izuku/Ochako) - pure fluff. supportive and adorable. theyre uncomplicated to me and make me smile

---

2. first ship ever: oooooh !! let me cast my mind back.... back...... oh no why is this so far back........ okay!

The first time I can remember wanting two characters to be together is probably when I was a teeny tiny Izupie watching Sailor Moon while I was in primary school, maybe year 3/4 I think? (UK school system - I have no idea what the equivalent would be in the US) (I could google it) (but I don't wanna)

I was obsessed with Sailor Moon every morning on tv. I watched the dub though - back when I had no idea these things were even dubbed over at all. I loooooved Serena and Darien - I'm sorry I know their dub names can give people hives, but I have so many fond memories of them I'll love them even if nobody else does asdfghjk

the whole he's really secretly tuxedo mask thing broke my tiny little mind and I was like gaaasssppp ! and I wanted them to be together even more - their initial I like you/you annoy me dynamic probably informed a lot of my ship preferences going forward

Every time there was an episode focusing on their relationship I would get so invested. they were my first real 'ship' for sure

3. currently listening: I'm not really listening to any particular music rn - I listen to the radio a lot though! Just a popular music station that plays all the latest hits

---

4. Last movie: I can't believe this is legit going to be Tinkerbell and the Secret of the Wings lmaoooo - it's a comfort film and I needed some cheering up after a long hard day at work last week, so I booted up disney plus and on it went. Literally the lowest stakes you can imagine, just lots of pretty visuals, sparkly wings, fairies, upbeat pop songs and a happy ending. ultimate comfort film.

---

5. currently reading: soooooo much fanfiction. so. much. fanfiction. a shameful amount of fanfiction. but it's sooooooo good.

Destiel has the most fics on AO3 guys. there is so much to choose from. it's glorious. if you can think of ANY trope you enjoy there will be pages of fics for it. I am so spoilt for choice and I'm having so much fun with it

---

6. currently watching: *looks at the screen like I'm in The Office*

SUPERNATU*gunshot noises*

---

7. currently consuming: nothing right now but I'm hungry and I'm going to make some dinner soon. I've been snacking on a lot of the chocolate I got for christmas recently ahaaaa

---

8. currently craving: a hug. which is bizarre because I would describe myself as not-a-huggy-person but I had a dream that I hugged someone the other night and I woke up like. I WANT A HUG. but like. not just a hug. I want a HUG. rib crushingly tight with an even tighter squeeze thrown in there. chins over shoulders. noses in necks. closed eyes. breathe deep. step apart but still holding on. That's a HUG. that's what I want.

Universe - get on that please.

---

here's the Tagging part, but I'm not sure I want to tag anyone at the moment - so this is a ~free tag~ to anyone reading this that just wants to answer some fun questions! yes, you there!

[lawbyrhys]

The Logan Paul v. Coffeezilla Lawsuit: Part Four

Here's a situation I never thought I'd be talking about, but here we are! Here are my thoughts and opinions on Logan Paul's huge defamation suit against Coffeezilla.

By the way, I'll be referring to Coffeezilla as Findeisen in my work about this case because that's his legal last name, and I didn't pass the bar and get a BigLaw job to spend my free time dictating the word "Coffeezilla" into my iPhone as I'm stuck in LA traffic. I'm gonna do it the legit way. Sue me, or don't—you know I'll win. ;)

Check back for updates as the case goes on; I will publish them when I have time to work on them. Let's get into my thoughts and opinions.

Please share yours, too; I'd love to hear them.

So, what do I think of this entire Logan Paul v. Coffeezilla lawsuit? First off, I think it's a fucking junk lawsuit; I do not believe Paul has grounds to sue Findeisen for defamation, and I do not think he'll win. There's a few reasons for this, but I think the most glaring one is how the former is constantly confirming everything the latter says as truth. You can't win a defamation suit that way; defamation requires false statements having been made. I believe Logan Paul knew when he filed the lawsuit that he had no grounds for a defamation suit—this suit is really a SLAPP lawsuit—and that's why Paul filed the suit in federal court; he could bypass all the laws in place to protect citizens' like Findeisen from the kind of shit Paul is pulling. It is a legitimate strategic lawsuit against public participation, and I believe Paul and his counsel know it and worked the system accordingly. I do not think Paul is a good or ethical man, and I view his need to hire counsel known for representing white collar criminals as evidence enough of that. If you're not a white collar criminal, do you really need somebody with that expertise on your case? I'm not even the only one who's noted that, though; almost every other lawyer I've spoken to about this agrees with me on that.

Regardless of anything else, I found this case to be mildly annoying because I don't like Logan Paul, and I find it a gross misuse of judicial power to bring YouTube drama to court like this, especially over shit he admits is true! It's interesting how Paul wanted to silence Findeisen with this SLAPP lawsuit disguised as a defamation suit, but all he's done is make the situation louder. Listen, I may be a busy guy with a BigLaw job and 60+ hour work weeks, but I'm alive in 2024. I've seen my share of "YouTube drama," shit way bigger than this, and it usually fizzles out way quicker than this. You know why? Nobody's filing lawsuits in federal court over it! Logan Paul gave Findeisen's research a megaphone because he's too stupid to realize this whole thing would have blown over for him much easier had he left it alone.

That isn't to say I think that's what he should've done; I think he shouldn't be scamming his fans! His audience is impressionable as hell, and Paul had no business getting them in on this shit. I see the entire CryptoZoo thing as a prime—see what I did there?—example of how low Paul will go to make a buck; even if it means scamming his fans and a lot of their parents to do it.

What advice would I give Logan Paul? This is not legal advice—I am not your attorney, Mr. Paul—but if I were you, I would stop admitting to everything you claimed to be false in your lawsuit. I'd stop running in circles, put up the $18M it takes to rectify the situation, and I'd drop all the lawsuits. In fact, I'd have dropped the defamation suit, like, last year; you are not going to win this lawsuit. You know what you are gonna do, though? Stuff your lawyers' pockets! I'm sure they're grateful to have such a sucker like you as a client for all these billable hours! So yeah, I'd drop the lawsuits, pay my fans back, and hope to God that Findeisen doesn't file a countersuit against you; he actually has a shot.

That's assuming this case goes to trial, though. A question posed is, should it even get to trial? How attractive is the possibility of a settlement?

I do believe Paul should settle with Findeisen. Not only would this show Paul has changed for the better as he claims he has, but it's also frankly less expensive to reach a settlement than it is to go to trial. Trials are not only more expensive, but you can never be quite sure what a jury will decide with your case; a settlement is almost always the best course of action for cases like this. Reaching a settlement would help Paul avoid discovery, too; discovery could be a potential detriment for either party—more realistically Paul—and provides another valid reason why settling would be the way to go here.

That's all I really have about this situation for right now. Everything shared in this post is my protected thoughts and opinions and can not be found as defamatory in any way. Don't try me. ;)

Let me know your thoughts about the situation.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 25 February 1954

I'm spoilt for choice! Four whole new songs - time for change in the UK charts? One is David Whitfield, so it can't be too radical, but it's nice to see some unfamiliar titles.

Don't Laugh at Me ('cause I'm a Fool) - Norman Wisdom (peaked at No. 3)

The only thing I (vaguely) know about Norman Wisdom is that he was a comedian - and that felt like a guess until I looked it up. I think even for my parents' generation, he was a little old-fashioned, more my grandparents' scene. So I'm geared up for this to be a slightly campy, old-fashioned novelty song. That said, the title says sentimental ballad to me, so we'll see?

We start with some classic early-50s strings, and a slightly croony voice that's actually surprisingly good and not particularly cheesy or novelty at all. Is this... just a legit song?

It seems to be! In fact, it's really quite earnest. The message seems to be that Norman sees everyone else falling in love, and wants in on the act: "I'd give the world to share my life with someone who really loves me". Unfortunately, his time hasn't come, and so he's foolishly left hoping, and just wants people to stop mocking him for it.

Joint best stand-out line is the one where he sings that "I'm not good-looking, I'm not too smart / I may be foolish but I've got a heart". It feels like a lovely bit of humble self-deprecation, a short of wry shrug that makes Norman seem that little bit pathetic, in a likeable sort of way.

Unfortunately the other stand-out line is the next one, which I think is meant to add to the "poor little me" effect, but actually makes him sound like a bit of a weirdo: "I love the flowers, I love the sun / But when I try to love the girls / They laugh at me and run." Ominous much? I know you want me to come away from that feeling that you're the victim, but if the girls (plural!) are literally just running away when you "try" to love them, then you're possibly the issue. Definite alarm bells here, sorry Norman.

And I don't know, either way we've gone past "likeably pathetic" into plain old "lame and pathetic" territory. Suddenly lines like "No one seems to care" sound self-pitying, a sort of proto-nice guy anthem that I really don't care for, the more I listen.

I wish this was a novelty track.

The Cuff of My Shirt - Guy Mitchell (9)

And just when I wanted one, this is the novelty one!

Guy Mitchell always has two modes for me, and as we got a jaunty sort of nursery-rhyme-like waltz intro, complete with whistling, I was wondering which it would be. Thankfully, this is actually quite endearing!

The song tells a story, as a lot of the best songs do, and it starts with a banger of a line: "I stand in a quandry, in front of the laundy, / And deep in my heart there's a hurt". Intriguing! I love the word "quandry", rhyming it with laundry is a stroke of genius, and you're also immediately drawn in. What's the issue?

Guy seems to anticipate the answer, because there's a giggle in his voice as he continues: "Lost the phone and address of the girl I like best / Wrote it all on the cuff of my shirt". Dear, oh dear. But I actually do like this a lot as a set-up. Reminds me of a line from Mystery Jets' Young Love. There's an innocent silliness to it, not least because it's the stupidest way to write down anyone's details. Like, who does that?! It's the sort of mistake we've all made, but also one that's deeply, deeply dumb.

As he mopes, we get the story of how they "met just by chance at the Saturday dance", which is a lovely time capsule of early 1950s romancing! We hear how pretty this girl was, and when he sings about wanting to hold her tight, we get a lovely moment where the backing singers answer with a very chipper "please hold me tight". Love it when backing singers answer the main singer like that!

And then we get a delicious spot of bathos: "The moon's on the rise and there's tears in my eyes 'cause my arms will be empty tonight". That's how you do foolish and pathetic - Norman, take notes! He's so sad and it's entirely his own faulty, and it's contrasted wonderfully with the setting in what I can only assume is a launderette or a whole apartment block's laundry, because there are apparently other girls down there?

Amazingly, they all assume he's "down here to flirt", which leads to this amazing contrast between them trying to flirt and Guy just standing there, "a man without hope if the suds and the soap wash her name off the cuff of my shirt". I can't lie, this is peak comedy for me.

Actually, the more I think about it, the funnier it gets, because it's definitely implied that he's just standing there so he can immediately pull the shirt out at the end of the cycle and try and read the now-smudged numbers. It's not that the number's definitely gone - it's that he's desperately hoping that it's not washed out! I don't know why that's so funny to me, but it really is.

We don't get an answer, either, just a few repeats of the chorus, a xyophone and whistling interlude (a promising combination) and a vigorous "my shirt!" to round us off.

It's funny, light-hearted, sweet and doesn't outstay its welcome. Not a favourite, but a good fun listen, and also literally a scene I'd expect to see in a sit-com. Good job, Guy.

Skin Deep - Ted Heath & His Music (9)

Well it's Ted Heath (no, not that Ted Heath) so I kind of know what to expect. Some jazzy trumpet, with an inscrutable title. And that is indeed what I get here. So fair enough. Good on Ted for establishing his brand, I guess?

The main thing that sets this apart from other tracks I've heard by Ted is the prominence of the drums throughout, which was a welcome addition. It starts strong with a trumpet trill, a brass riff straight out of a film score, and a big old drum roll, before dropping into a jazzy drum groove as the saxophones play this slinky rhythm over a walking bass. It's frenetic, and overall good fun, very jazzy.

Then there's a long extended section in the middle, bookended with very technical, fast drum solos, between which you just get this heavy sort of tribal drumming and two trumpets playing solos and competing to play higher and more reedily than each other. It feels offputting and slightly abrasive in a way that music at this point in the charts rarely seems to be - I feel like this has the rock and roll attitude and intensity down. Compared to Norman's smooth crooning and Guy's "aren't I silly" goofing, it's pretty hardcore.

And then, almost as suddenly as it began, it's over. No idea why this track is called Skin Deep, unless it's from a film or TV show called Skin Deep? Sometimes with these jazzy ones, the rhythm souds like you could sing the title to it, but "Skin Deep" is just two syllables, which feels a bit too vague for that to work.

Overall, it's fine - I have to wonder if the drum solo felt daring for the era, or if people found it pretty standard? I guess it depends how much airplay jazz was really getting, and what kind of jazz. For me, listening to the top 10 in the way I am, it felt pretty groundbreaking, but I am curious if that was the perception in 1954.

The Book - David Whitfield

I'm sorry, I can't muster much enthusiasm here. David Whitfield just feels tremendously dated, every time I get to him. But hey, he might pull a dramatic U-turn and produce something fresh and modern-feeling. Is this the song that that happens?

Spoilers, no it's not. You can tell it from the very intro, which is slow, all trumpet and dramatic soaring strings, with a high-pitched backing chorus. It's your typical over-dramatic 1950s introduction, and I dislike it.

I'm intrigued, despite myself, by the opening lines: "There's a book that my mother gave me / That I read when the long day is through." What's the book? Something salacious? Why the focus on your mother? Is this going to have a slighty creepy, Oedipal, Norman Bates mother-fixation sort of vibe?

And then the tension is immediately lost as it becomes clear that this book, with its gilded pages, is a Bible. He doesn't up and say it, but it's definitely a Bible: "I know in its worn old pages / I shall find peace of mind when I look / And the wisdom of all the aaaaaaaaages / Is there in my mother's book."

Look - personal confession time - I'm not actually in disagreement, here. On a personal level, I think Bible's great! It can give peace of mind! It does have lots of wisdom in it! So I'm behind the sentiment, I'll give David that much.

Unfortunately, I don't like much else, here. David's performance is typically overblown, and the word "ages" is drawn out way too long, even when you know it's coming up and are braced for it. Plus, that's literally all of the lyrics. It's a short song, but it repeats its lyrics literally three times, and then we're done, no chorus, no bridge, no middle eight, no nothing.

And worse, it's just... a bit lame? I don't know, I think there's room for spiritual music, and I've enjoyed it where it's come up, especially as it doesn't seem like something there's much space for in the charts nowadays. There's "religious music" and "secular music", and they're bundled off into their own separate charts, and it doesn't leave much space for not-explicitly-worship-intended songs about experiencing or searching for faith. So in theory, I should like this. I liked Answer Me, which David also sang. But somehow... yeah, like I said. Lame.

Well, they were a distinct bunch, and you really wouldn't get any of them charting in 2023, for so many reasons. And for my favourite pick, that's acutally a shame - I wonder what a modern-day version would look like? Getting her number but dropping your phone in the loo?

Favourite song of the bunch: The Cuff of My Shirt

[noisyalmonddreamer]

Wiping off their kisses

Percy:

- Offended as hell

- He is BuSY and he made the time to come kiss you and you have the AdAcItY to WIPE it off

- Jk but he does get extra as hell

- *el gasp* "(y/n) how COULD YOU??"

- "idk what you're talking about"

- Goes through his day pouting

- He's also kissing you way more than normal

- "YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN!"

- "Man that's so weird. Idk what you're talking about. You should get your eyes checked"

- He's just like 🙁

- The whole dam day

-everyone can see somethings off

-he seems bored with everything he does

-this mf is even just letting out big sighs

-everyone can only it for so long

-like he'll be doing this ALL DAY

-he'd do it into the night ngl

- Until someone had to go up to you

- "Listen I'm sure that what ever is pissing Jackson off is stupid but if it has to do with you please fix it. He's pissing me the fuck off"

- You go to his cabin to say sorry

- He doesn't except

- "Nope you never get anymore kisses"

- "Lol okay"

- "No wait I didn't mean that-"

Jason:

- lmao doesn't notice at first

- Listen he's a busy boy so near the beginning of the day someone points it out and he's like "oh yeah they've been doing that"

- Then notices it multiple times throughout the day

- And he's like "....please no</3"

-he also sees if your behavior has changed with anyone else

-he has found, it has not

-which makes him even sadder ngl

-like yeah if you where just feeling out of it that would be terrible and he'd want to make you feel better

- He doesn't outright say it because he's a gentleman

- But he is hurt

- He probably thinks he did something to make you mad

- "Are you okay?"

- "Yeah I'm good, why?"

- "...did I make you mad?"

- "No"

- "Oh...okay"

- He still thinks he did something wrong

- Lowkey acts like a kicked puppy

- You can't take it after seeing him just look so sad

- "I'm sorry baby, It was a prank"

- "A prank?"

- "Yeah"

- "...I hate you"

Leo:

- HURT

- How could you DO THIS to him?

- How could you WIPE OFF his loving kisses???

- The boy stands there like 'are you for real?'

- Then stomps over and smothers you in so many kisses

- In the end he's legit like: >:)

- You than take the bottom of your camp shirt and wipe your face

- And than walk away

- He's sat there like 😀

- "The fuck just happened"

- He also thinks he probably did something to piss you off

- So he goes to Piper!

- Who is aware of the prank and actually told you to do it

- "They're doing that? Hmm yeah sounds like you pissed them off"

- "Fuck"

- "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)"

- "What should I do???"

- "Idk I'm sorry man I've got a lot to do today so I've gotta head out. Hope you figure it out though"

- He spends so long trying to figure out what he did

- He ends up making you a tiny present, though he promises himself he'll make you something much better later!

- "Here I made this for you!"

- "Why???"

- "Because I did something to make you mad. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm really sorry and I wanted to show you how sorry I am!"

- "...babe it was a prank"

- "What?"

- He gets so pouty

- Lowkey it's annoying

- He makes you cuddle with him

- Without any air conditioner

Nico:

- Legit doesn't care at first

- sure he's like "meh that's weird"

- cause you don't normally do that but he doesn't think about it much in that moment

- He doesn't kiss you much throughout the day so he doesn't notice

- So you decide to extend the prank until he does notice

- Everyone else notices before him

-  "Nico why is (Y/n) rubbing off your kisses?"

- "They're doing what?"

- Listen he's not a very observant guy

- So he decided to watch you

- And he does notice you're wiping off his kisses!

- Even the ones on your forehead!

- At some point he's like "No❤️"

- and by the end he kisses you again

- while outlining your lips with his finger delicately he's like "please stop doing that. I don't like it"

- He's looking at you with such sweet puppy dog eyes

- "Nico I'm so sorry it was supposed to be some dumb prank."

- "Leave."

- He doesn't understand why you would do this to him

- He thought you were mad at him!

- He was stressed

- You somehow have to make it up to him

- Reading to him probably works ngl

Frank:

- I'M  hurt you've done this to this boy

- He's so sensitive he thinks he did something wrong or you don't love him anymore

- He notices from kiss 1

- But he also doesn't want to jump to any conclusions so he kisses you more times that day then normal

- You know to see if it was a one time thing or not

- But if you KEEP doing it...

- Heartbroken

- "Did I make you mad, sweety?"

- "Umm no? Listen Frank I have to go. I have archery!"

- "Umm okay."

- He kisses your cheek and you wipe it off

- He's than officially decided that you're probably planning on breaking up with him

- So in response to this new revelation he goes to his office and starts writing a speech as to you why shouldn't break up

- "Frank what are you doing?"

- "Oh hey Reyna, (Y/n) is gonna break up with me so I'm writing a speech why they shouldn't"

- "...frank-"

- Reyna is to tired for this

- Reyna deserves rest 2021

- Next time he sees you he starts his speech

- "(Y/n) I love you so much-"

- "Aww I love you too!"

- "Please don't break up with me. I can't think of being-"

- "Wait what?"

- "Aren't you trying to break up with me???"

- "No??? Baby that was a prank."

- "...oh"

Will:

- 10/10 offended and kisses you more

- Like he will kiss you a lot

- "Hey stop that!"

- "Stop what?"

- He kisses you and you immediately wipe it off

- "THAT! Stop it!!!!!"

- he will continually kiss you through out the day even though you keep rubbing his kisses off

- He knows this is a prank

- He still hates it though

- "How do I get back at (Y/n)?"

- "Make them rhyme?"

- "...tempting but no."

- He ends up ignoring you

- Which doesn't really do anything tbh

- Look he's busy!

- So he does the exact opposite!

- Any second he has with you he's on you

- He's using the most tooth rotting sweet names

- He's kissing you

- He's hugging you

- (As long as you're comfortable with it. If you're not he's just talking and sitting with you a whole lot)

- You draw the line when he starts singing

- "WILL PLEASE"

- "YOU CAN STOP ME!"

- You kiss him

- He does in fact shut up

- "See pranks on me never go well."

- "But what about that one time-"

- "Shhh...they never go well"

Magnus:

- confused boy goes to give another kiss and is like "de fuq?"

- he's gonna assume it's because he has crumbs or something on his face and you just didnt want to have it on YOUR face

- So when he puts down the food he was eating, wipes his mouth with like a napkin or something, kisses you again and you wipe it off

- He's so confused

- "Why are you wiping off my kiss :("

- "Your lips are greasy"

- A likely story!

- You leave his room a few minutes later cause you're a busy person! You have stuff to do...probably

- When you leave he kisses you on the cheek

- "Okay bye"

- "Bye"

- And you wipe it off

- So he consults the only relationship expert he knows

- He walks over to Mallorys room and...there's yelling

- Well never mind that! He asks Jack

- "So what seems to be the problem?"

- "(Y/n) keeps rubbing off my kisses!"

- "They hate you"

- "Dammit"

- After the day you go up to him and kiss him

- He's so confused

- "I'm so sorry Maggie. Alex made me! She dared me and I couldn't say no :("

- "...she's mine for training"

Hearth:

- first of all, how dare you

- How could you hurt this boy

- my baby will probably tear up a bit because he thinks you don't love him anymore

- Or you're mad at him or something, again how dare you

- When you first do it he just stands there like 🧍‍♂️

- So he just like,,, walks off

- Cause he thinks you're mad at him and gives you space

- But even though you're 'mad at him' doesn't mean he doesn't want to take care of you!

- There was a box you were struggling with putting away?

- It's put in its correct place

- You had to sweep the floor but you're to tired

- Would you look at that it's clean!

- You're hungry?

- Wow your favorite sandwich just appears from no where

- Hey Blitz do you know why (Y/n) is mad at me?

- Blitz did know

- Well it wasn't you being mad. More Blitz was bored and wanted to see what would happen

- Hearths so clingy with you! He just wanted to know what would happen

- "Oh man, no clue"

- Oh okay :(

- At the end of the day you basically CORNER him and give him the biggest hug and kiss

- "my silly elf. I'm sorry"

- Why?

- It was a prank I'm sorry

- It's fine just please do not do that again?

- Of course

Alex:

- externally fine but internally like "haha no"

- At least for the first time you do it

- If you continuously do it then...

- S/he will like grab your wrists and pull you into a kiss

- Also like lowkey knows you're pulling a prank on him/her

- Still isn't happy about it

- "You're not funny you know"

- "Idk I think I'm pretty funny ngl"

- "I will kill you"

- You don't take this threat very seriously ngl

- Maybe you should though...

- Anywayyyy

- Throughout the day you continue doing it

- And s/he is SO upset

- "I know it's a prank, you can stop now"

- "No❤️"

- So this mf decided to pull the opposite prank on you

- After the day had finished you kissed him/her

- And he/she rubbed it off

- "..."

- "Yeah don't '...' me"

- "Is this revenge?"

- "Yes"

- You guys spend like a week straight rubbing off each others kisses

- To the point where the others are so pissed

- "JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY. MY GOD THIS IS ANNOYING"

[fizzyxcustard]

Surprise!!!

Hey queen! Okie, here's something “Do you regret it?” but with Guy please!! I absolutely adore you way you write him! Please! I LEGIT FANGIRL SOOOOO HARD! Sorry Thorin!

Note on this piece/summary: This is the third instalment of the prompt series that I've had requested. The first part sees Guy escort you back home after a large gathering at Nottingham Castle (read here) And in the second part, after spending the night with Guy, you are physically and verbally abused by your father who is disgusted at your behaviour (read here)

Warnings: Physical abuse, violence, misogyny, parental abuse, anxiety.

Comments: As always, requests are open (however, I'm only accepting prompts, so send a word or sentence and the character of your choice) If you would like to be added to my tag list, then let me know, stating which character/fandom you want to be tagged in. If you just sent me 'tag me, please' and don't tell me which character/fandom you want to be tagged in, then I'll tag you in everything.

It felt as if your heartbeat was confined to your hand. Da-dum. Da-dum. Da-dum. Pain exploding for a second, then subsiding. Exploding, subsiding. A nauseating sensation. The burn was wrapped, having been treated with ointment. And now you lay on Guy's bed, your nerves still in shreds. It was as if your whole body was moving, even though you were lay still, on your side in the foetal position.

Why had your father turned like that? True, he had a temper, but he had always shown you love. You were the youngest of your siblings, the one left who had not yet married. But the way your father had spat Gisborne's name. Was this more because your choice in man was Guy of Gisborne, and not because you had lain with him prior to marriage?

As you thought on the possibilities for your father's actions, your mind was suddenly overtaken at intervals, and you were back in your home, your arm being pulled towards the open fire. It kept coming back, interjecting your questions. The memory wanted to keep replaying, forcing its way through everything else that was processing in your mind. Until you cried out loud and rolled onto your back, clasping your mouth with your uninjured hand. Tears spilled down your cheeks.

Why did your father do it? An honourable man. A generous man. Something did not sit right. Your father was a lot of things, but cruel was not one of them. How could this question be answered without you going to him directly?

You were terrified of leaving the castle and being found by your father again. No doubt at that point in time Guy had found him.

You took a deep breath, pulling as much strength from within as you could and got to your feet. Dizziness hit you for a split second, and then you regained your posture. You took a long, black cloak from the chair at Guy's desk and wrapped it around you. Then you left the room, holding your injured hand to your bust.

Outside the castle, you pulled up the hood of the cloak and head down the opposite way that you normally walked in to your house. This led to your sister's. She was the eldest, mother of three boys, and a baker.

Your eyes darted back and forth, looking for any sign of anyone who may be a problem. At your sister's door, you knocked nervously. It had grown dusk and there were only the odd one or two people who had passed you on your way out of the castle.

"Is everything alright?" your sister exclaimed.

Then you heard your mother's voice from inside the house and she dashed from the back room, appearing behind your sister. "What on earth has been going on? Gisborne was at our home and was not happy at all. Your father ordered me to leave while they talked it out."

"Your hand," your sister said quietly.

"Can I come in?"

A short time later and you were sat in your sister's back room, with a hot cup of coffee. However, the heat made you nervous and you tried to push back your racing thoughts. You had explained everything to your mother and sister, and both of them stood aghast.

Slowly, the shocked expression drained from your mother's face. And she turned, bowing her head. There was something she was not telling you. "Mother?" you asked. "What's wrong? There's something between father and Guy, isn't there?"

"N...not exactly between them, no," your mother said softly. Her face had become blanched of colour. "Something happened a year or two ago, darling. Before you even met Gisborne. But it's obviously something that he has paid a lot of people to remain hushed about, even though it was public knowledge at one point. Your father never felt right about Gisborne again. I'm not commending what he did to you, but I know partially why your father got so angry. Yes, he is a man of traditions. But....Gisborne had a child. Did anyone ever tell you that?"

"N...no," you stuttered. Your heart was racing so fast, and it felt like bile was beginning to ascend from your stomach.

"He...." your mother started. She looked up at your sister who was stood behind you, and then continued, "He took the child, and left it out in Sherwood Forest. The mother worked in the castle."

"I....I...." How could you respond to such a revelation as that? Was that why everyone despised Guy so much? A single tear fell down your cheek.

"And we all know that he was sniffing around Maid Marian for years," your sister said. "He can't be trusted. The man is a dog."

You broke down completely in front of your sister and mother, sobbing. The two men who meant the most to you in this world, and they had both broken your heart on the same day.

"We don't want you hurt," your mother said, sitting next to you. "What your father did was inexcusable, but he can't stand Gisborne."

You left your sister's home an hour later, with your mother by your side. She had agreed to stay with you, to tend to your injured hand and look after you emotionally.

At home, your mother began to prepare your dinner. But part way through its preparation, a thunderous banging came to your door.

"No, don't go," you called out, on instinct. Terrified that your father may turn and attack your mother as well.

Only, it wasn't your father.

"I need to see her!" Guy's voice came, demanding. You could hear that he was out of breath. "Let me in."

"Between you and my husband, you've both hurt her enough!" your mother spat. "You will not disrespect and dishonour her like a whore!"

"Pipe down!" Guy hissed.

You got up and approached the doorway. "It's alright, mother," you said. "We won't be long. We'll talk outside."

Your mother, a small and fragile woman, showed her complete distain for the man you loved, but respected you enough to move aside.

The sight of Guy made you sigh, and you felt like succumbing to tears again. But you straightened your back and inhaled deep, feeling the cold air stab you in the chest. Both of you stepped out into the night air.

"Mother told me about the child you left in the forest, Guy," you said, crossing your arms as best you could, your injured hand resting on top. The words hit you hard as you heard yourself speak them, as if you now comprehended them more. "That was why father turned on me..."

"Don't excuse him for this!" Guy shouted.

"You're just as bad as him; hurting your own children. How can you sleep at night knowing what you did?" you asked, narrowing your eyes.

Guy looked away, bowing his head, unable to speak for a few seconds. He swallowed hard and then looked back at you, his eyes full of tears.

Some believed that Gisborne was the devil himself; others felt he was just a cruel man who loved his title and money too much. You didn't quite know what you thought about him in those moments. Sometimes you believed that there was kindness inside him that could easily be unleashed if just pressed the right way and in the right place. Now....maybe the idea of him being in league with the devil was right.

"Last night....do you regret it?" he mumbled, his voice just on the edge of breaking completely.

You looked up to the sky, seeing a shooting star flash through the heavens. It made you remember something that your grandmother used to say, Everyone can change. No one is beyond forgiveness or redemption through God's eyes.

You sighed. "Ask me again in the morning."

***

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Richard Armitage tag list: @sketch-and-write-lover @cryptichobbit

[mermaidsirennikita]

Since you ranked Kleypas’ heroes, what are your rankings for Sarah MacLean’s heroes?

oh YES

Michael, Marquess of Bourne, A Rogue by Any Other Name. So hot. One of my favorite heroes ever. He's such a bastard, but you can also tell that a lot of it is self loathing and a desperation to contain his emotions because he doesn't trust himself due to his gambling problem. Bourne is so nasty, though, both on a general level and a sexual level. I know that a lot of people think he went a bridge too far a couple of times, which I personally disagree with.... But more Bourne for me, I guess. He's just so growly and mean.

Henry, Duke of Clayborne, Heartbreaker. A lot of y'all haven't met him yet so I'll hold back but uh. He's like. A fucking lot. The daddy-est of Sarah MacLean's heroes, for sure. When she said she was writing a stern brunch daddy... She wrote a stern brunch daddy. Like a hair-pulling ass-slapping stern brunch daddy. I just think he's neat.

Gabriel, Marquess of Ralston, Nine Rules to Break When Romancing A Rake. An oldie but a goodie. Ralston is such a great slutty hero, a man who just wants to eat pussy and fuck you on a chaise and call you his empress and shit. He's kind of a hopeless mess and I love him for that.

Cross, One Good Earl Deserves A Lover. What a spectacular dirty talker. I love Cross for his secret pain and his secret celibacy and his general angst. I also love that he is a bold! Ginger hero! But most of all, I love the dirty talk. Truly iconic behavior.

Malcolm, Duke of Haven, The Day of the Duchess. A controversial but brave take because Haven is one of the only legit cheaters I've read in historical romance, especially in a book published after 2000, but what can I say. He goes to the doghouse bad, and he earns his penance, and I personally think his character development is fabulous. And the thing is? I never doubted he loved Sera, even though he did in fact sleep with someone else. He was just fucked up about her own betrayal of him--and while that never justified his actions, it did shed light on them.

Ewan, Duke of Marwick, Daring and the Duke. What can I say? I love a villain. And Ewan is most certainly that for like, two whole books. I think what sold me on Ewan was actually in Wicked and the Wallflower. He kind of stole that whole book for me. Just his aggressive obsession with Grace and the way his behavior entirely transformed when he realized she was still alive and Devil and Whit had been keeping her from him. He became a different guy! And then he became a different one again when he finally found her. A true wifeguy former villain.

King, Marquess of Eversley, The Rogue Not Taken. What a fun guy. What an adventurous dude. I did seriously enjoy the fact that he ate Sophie out in a moving carriage for fun, and I also enjoyed his pouting dickishness when she sort of fucked him over. The thing about King is that I think that he's the most Ralston-like of MacLean's other heroes, whereas Bourne is probably the blueprint for many of the other ones today.

Alex Stuart, Duke of Warnick, a Scot in the Dark. MY POOR BIGGEST BOY. MY SADLY OBJECTIFIED GIANT MAN. I've seen some people mock the fact that Alex's big pain is that women have like, loved and used him for being like... a giant, but I found that really legit and an interesting commentary on some pretty weird tropes you can find in Scottish books to this day. Like I love a Giant Scottish Warrior Guy as much as the next girl, but it can get a bit creepy and fetishistic at points, right? We can all admit that, can't we? Anyway, it's not Alex's fault that his cock is too giant. I shall save him.

Simon Pearson, the Duke of Leighton, Eleven Scandals to Start to Win A Duke's Heart. What a classic uptight, stuffy lord. I really enjoy a man who's like I HAVE MORALS before like, publicly fingerbanging a woman. Simon is a very classic Type of hero, but it's a pleasing Type.

Temple, No Good Duke Goes Unpunished. Listen man, I know this book is controversial among MacLean readers but I call the people who hate it pussies, to be honest. Temple is a really good hero. He has legit grievances against the heroine, he's been accused of murder!!! He falls in love with a woman who almost married his dad and eats her out in a boxing ring. What do we call that? Iconic behavior.

Whit, Brazen and the Beast. You have to love a hero who loves being tied up, and Whit certainly does enjoy that. In all honesty, the first two Bareknuckle Bastard books are kind of eclipsed by Daring for me, but I do love Whit's total bemusement with Hattie, his adoration of her, his aggressive protection of her.

Devil, Wicked and the Wallflower. Wicked is probably one of my least favorite MacLean books, but Devil is still a super solid hero, and I love that his grovel involved almost freezing to death.

Duncan West, Never Judge A Lady by Her Cover. Dude, I love that this guy is like, a roving newspaperman who owns a POOL. He's just a fun, smart alecky kind of guy. I probably like him more than I like his book, and I do think he's a bit confined by it (I'm not sure I buy the idea of him signing up for stepfatherhood that quickly?) but he's still really good.

Nicholas St. John, Ten Ways to Be Adored When Landing A Lord. I think Sarah has said that this is generally her least popular book, and I can't deviate from that, to be honest? It's a solid book, I just don't find it as exciting as her typical novels, and Nick does suffer by comparison. He is Ralston's twin, and he's great in bed, and he has a cool scar, but I don't think he quite stands up to Ralston. If Ralston didn't exist, he'd probably be higher up on the list.

[thetaoofbetty]

it's below the cut, anon💜:

I wonder if BAs (no, I actually don’t) and the so called J*bitha shippers realize that they are framing Jughead’s commitment to Tabitha as an obligation and not as something he genuinely should feel. He doesn’t own Tabitha to be in love with her because she helped him with his trauma and gave him a place to live.

—okay but from the way they speak (at least the way they speak to me about it even tho i've literally never asked) they really seem to think having a crush on someone entitles them to you.

uh. no?

what's the bets they wouldn't be into the ship if it was the exact same only without bughead history if they loved tabitha so much and jughead acted the same way he does with her now? gonna relive history at saying this (again), i can feel it, but jughead isn't exactly the most amazing bf to her. and jessica and he weren't good for each other but he also wasn't amazing to her either? look at the way veggie was written or the way b/a is currently being written. jughead isn't the exception to the "sort of not great to their current gf when it's the wrong girl" club on this show. it's a shallow drama, tbh, so i didn't expect any different.

the women aren't an exception to this either.

That’s not how it works. You aren’t nice to a person expecting something in return. You are asking him to force feelings for her as gratitude and this is the same people that claim to love her? The only thing he owns her is honestly about his feelings for her. That’s it. He doesn’t own her a relationship or love if he doesn’t actually reciprocates those feelings.

—if jughead has feelings for her, great. if he's feeling confused, that's his business until the feelings are known enough to make it her business. he owes her respect, kindness, and honesty. he does not owe her a relationship or to work through anything if he doesn't want to.

and i have no doubt they think it's because of bughead that we're side eyeing the way they said that but no. no one said he was obligated to stay with betty if he didn't want to be with her. he didn't owe it to her to stay and work out his complicated feelings towards betty kissing archie if he didn't want to did he? of course not.

tho it is sort of entertaining how they've decided that those memories are going to make jughead fall back in love with betty. guess that's the only possible conclusion if riverdale is totally normal and legit and nothing weird at all is going on, just random superpowers and witches, guys.

Also, another part about J*bitha shippers is how apparently Jughead is in love with her? Please, someone tell him because he doesn’t seem to know he even likes her at all. Same goes for Tabitha. "J*bitha is strong enough to help him deal with his past" truly, the same J*bitha that doesn’t speak on traumatic or important moments in their life unless they are forced to do so by the consequences?

—i think, and i'm just throwing it out there, they're going by what happened in the vale. even tho the vale is a totally different thing? then again, they also say that b/a is in love but we haven't heard any love declarations yet. which, again, they didn't actually talk about anything and i think that was the point? they sort of just covered it all up and ignored it.

and i know, i know, symbolism. but uh, jughead kneeling over the typewriter, devastated at her having broken something betty had given him isn't actually the symbolism they wanted. shout out to that screener who started that tho. pretty sure it's also the one who started the whole thing about them not being in the same room while filming back in s5. kudos for perseverance on that.

i'll say it again but i really think them giving tabitha this cryptic oracle role with the time travel so the plot doesn't get given away too quickly is a major hinderance to her storyline both alone and with jughead. maybe that's on purpose, i don't know. without even the audience knowing what's happening, her information is only helpful if she shares it and her not sharing it or showing/telling the audience why that's a bad idea is just going to make her frustrating as a character.

The same Jughead that didn’t tell his own girlfriend he could read minds until like 2 episodes ago? The same Tabitha that forgot to mention she’s been time traveling and might have possibly seen situations that she hasn’t told him about? Everything that J*bitha apparently is has never been shown, except for season 5 with their interactions being platonic at best (except the rushed episode in which they got together) the so called intensity of their relationship has never been shown.

—if this were any other show, i would 100% believe the narrative of tabitha being upset at him reading her mind vs betty asking him to go into her deepest, most repressed thoughts was on purpose. she wasn't even bothered that he was skimming surface stuff, she was fine with it.

but it's riverdale. still, the contrast to 6x12 and showing the memory of jughead telling her she's not like her dad also felt stark so who knows?

I don’t care what people that ship J*bitha think that relationship is – but claiming Jughead 'owes' Tabitha certain things are being relationship in a fucked up way. You don’t owe anyone anything expect respect and honestly, which is why I’m sure they’ll break up.

—maybe they'll bring in the problems from the vale (seems more likely now, tbh). tabitha bottled up all the issues she had with him in that episode and he didn't exactly make it better. we're seeing bigger, more real life issues of those in the vale it seems. so it has the potential to get messy but riverdale side steps that when possible so who knows?

[peppertaemint]

Good day, Peppertaemint! I sent this to you because I know how straightforward, unbiased, and honest you are when it comes to stating your thoughts towards things and BTS. Actually, @bangtan-media-thoughts is the same with you, I think? So, she is welcome to answer this and I would really love to know her thoughts to this too☺️ Thankssss!!!!

As I am a Jungkook-biased, I always notice and tend to really focus my attention to his interactions and his relationship with the BTS members. So, as you are Jungkook-biased too, I want to know if you notice this too. Jungkook doesn't seem to be really close to Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jin offcam? That's why his interaction with them that we see and watch on stage and oncam seems too force and is hard to watch? Especially on Jungkook's part, he seems to be forcing himself on them? In his relationship with Namjoon, both of them just kept repeating what they say and compliment to each other. Ex. Jungkook will say that his inspiration is Namjoon, then Namjoon will say that without Jungkook, there is no BTS. I'm really fed up with this. Ackksss!!!🤐😫 For Yoongi, the same thing happens, every time he describes Jungkook, he has nothing else to say but how talented Jungkook is. Especially on Let's BTS! I'm expecting that at least he will not said shallow things, like some trivia and unfamiliar but also surprising things about Jungkook that is different from what he said before, but what happened? Nothing changed!😭😞 And as for his relationship with Jin, especially now, it is really obvious to me that they are not as close with each other as the ways they seems to be. I think, honestly, the reason why they used to joke and tease each other before is just for the enjoyment of fans and for them to promote the brand of the "oldest-youngest relationship". But, maybe now they got bored and tired of pretending as we rarely see each other interacting and mentioning each other anymore. Good for them, actually. At least they don't fake anymore. That's why also I'm really wondering about the Jungkook stans and some Armys who were surprised when Rm and Suga themselves said that HopeKook is really the closest to each other since trainee days. And for now, just so I can't see the awkwardness, I automatically close my eyes when Jungkook interacts with these three hyungs.

Are you the same with me? Please be honest!🤞💜

Hi Anon, thanks for writing in and I'll give you a very honest answer.

I haven't been watching any of the PTD stuff because I dislike the song and the bits I saw of the first PTD concert that was livestreamed was rough and unpolished and not my jam. That being said, I'm hoping it's all going well for them.

Considering the above, I can't comment on their most recent dynamics because all I have seen is bits and pieces from VLives. Do I think JK is "forcing it" with some? Well, no but only because he never bothers to force anything really. From what I've seen, he can't hide his reactions and tends to say what he really thinks whether he should or not (lol, me too, me too). Like, take the whole boxing thing. He proclaims that "yay Jimin is now boxing so I have a partner" yet Tae was all, "what about me? you taught me?" and he was like nah dog. He legit just shut him down saying it wasn't like that. Okeeee. JK just does his thing.

One of my classic gripes about the group is that they repeat the same sentiments ad nauseam. What you mention about NJ is part of this; "there's no BTS without JK" or "NJ was my inspiration" -- yes, we've all heard this 1 million times and we'll probably hear it till the end of days unless BH/Hybe rewrites their talking points. I stopped reading and watching their interviews during Butter era because, legit, it was the SAME talking points over and over again. One of BH/Hybe's most brilliant media strategies is teaching the guys how to talk without saying anything. It's perfect for personal questions, but when it comes to art/their work, it doesn't work. If you don't believe this is happening, read a couple BTS interviews then read a couple SHINee ones.

So I don't necessarily think JK is faking it with Jin or RM or anyone. I think he's behaving how he's been trained. Don't go off script etc. Do I think the entire group is as close as their brand tries to make consumers think? No, not at all.

[smallblip]

A quick prompt @luanabonn and I came up with seeing this TOTALLY CANON scene of Levi bathing Hange in this hilarious animatic video (the best part is obviously from 0:17-0:25)

Imagine the first time the vets walked in on Levi bathing Hange and Erwin would probably just facepalm or start rubbing his temples like "Geeez guys, really?". Mike would be like "Called it!" and high five Nana. Poor Moblit would probably just freez cause he's traumatized for life 😂

Years later when the 104th kids walk into the same scenario, Levihan would legit try to normalize it 😂 I see Levi saying something like "What are you looking at, brats? This is perfectly normal. I've been doing this for years now, okay?" and Hange would say "yeah... It's surely not like we're dating or something like that...ha ha ha... not at all"

And the kids be like "Yeah we know you're not dating... Because you're already married... Mom & Dad" ❤️

Yasssss my bbs💖 @hanjo-love @luanabonn thank you both💖 I love this!

Also thank you for the video it was GREAT.

Two sides, same goddamn coin

“Erwin... Why are you standing out on the corridor?” Mike asks on the way back to his room. It’s late. There’s no reason for Erwin to be standing back against his door, looking absolutely resigned.

Nanaba peeks from behind Mike, “hey boys, what’s the commotion about?”

Moblit is with Nanaba, both deciding to search the male dorms for Hanji who has seemingly disappeared into thin air.

“Hanji and Levi are in my bath...” Erwin exhales a sigh, eyes shut, fingers rubbing his temples.

“What do you mean?” Mike says carefully. At this point, Moblit just looks like he’s seen a ghost. Abort abort! It’s okay Nanaba I’ll look for Hanji buntaicho another time! It’s not that urgent! Nothing is that urgent! But Moblit knows it’s too late. He knows where this is all going. He’s part of their little game now.

“I mean...” Erwin gives them ‘that look’, the one they always give one another when Levi and Hanji are being insufferable, “they are in my bath... Bathing... Together...”

Mike and Nanaba freeze for a second.

It’s only a split second and soon they’re pushing past Erwin and dashing in his room.

“Wait-“ Erwin and Moblit in a hushed whisper. But soon the three of them are standing outside his bathroom door.

Laughter streams through from the other side of the door.

“Oh my god...” Nanaba gasps, “what’s going on?”

“Let’s weigh our options,” Mike suggests.

“On one hand, we get to see for ourselves, get to the bottom of this matter... You know... Investigate...” Erwin has his thinking face on.

“Investigate huh... That’s exactly what the tax payers pay us to do in the Survey Corps...” Mike says. Immediately it’s clear what his preference is.

“On the other hand...” Erwin continues, “Levi might murder us all...”

“A worthy death for a soldier...” Mike shrugs.

“Oh no... I really don’t think we should...” Moblit stutters. Nanaba notes that he is very sweaty.

Looks are exchanged and it has been decided. With a heavy hand, Erwin slams open the bathroom door.

There’s a scream that’s only stopped when Levi slaps his hand over Hanji’s mouth.

“What?” Levi snaps, as if they had been trespassing.

“You’re in my bath...” Erwin says, equally matter of fact.

“Your bath is the nicest...” Hanji offers.

“You’re in my bath... Together...” Erwin raises a brow.

“As Captain of the Survey Corps, you said it was my duty to supervise the cleanliness and hygiene of the soldiers,” Levi murmurs, sinking lower into the bubbles, hands coming to cover Hanji up. Absolute gentleman.

“This is a very unique means of supervision, Captain...” Erwin smirks.

“Whatever gets the job done, Commander...” Levi spits the last word.

Behind him, Mike and Nanaba high five. Finally. Some catharsis. They called it. They all called it. Levi and Hanji were a thing. This is absolute proof. No one can tell them otherwise now. Ha! Take that! Moblit has averted his eyes. Nothing in this world can compel him to look.

“Excuse me ladies...” Hanji clears her throat, shifting uncomfortably against Levi, “I am very naked, and to be honest with you, the water is starting to get cold... Soon I will be freezing my tits off... So could we please continue this at a more convenient time?”

“Whatever you say m’lady...” Erwin tips his imaginary hat.

“Fuck you...” Hanji narrows her eyes at him and mutters under her breath. Great. They can never use Erwin’s bath again. What alternatives are there? The cadet showers maybe? The piping is really new there, that means there’s a whole lot of hot water. Probably not. They don’t need a part two of this happening.

-

“Hanji san! We need to seek approval for-“

Everyone’s jaw is agape. Armin’s hands have flown to cover his face, “my virgin eyes...” he’s murmuring repeatedly.

“Why wouldn’t you close the bathroom door!” Sasha shouts accusatorily. Now the bunch of them are standing awkwardly in Hanji’s room, averting their gaze from the adjacent bath. Should they leave now? They really should. But there are forms that need filling.

“Why wouldn’t you guys knock!” Hanji retaliates.

“You always ask us not to!” Connie shoots back.

Oh, Hanji winces, she did in fact tell them to just enter because half the time she’s too engrossed in whatever it is she’s doing to hear.

“What the fuck do you want brats?” Levi has sunk all the way down the bath, the water now grazing his chin.

“We would like to seek permission from Hanji san to go to the town on Monday for supplies...” Armin pipes up, eyes still squeezed shut.

“Permission granted! Now go!” Levi shouts.

Sasha sees the opportunity and ceases it, “we would also like to request for the weekend off for recreational purposes! Sir!”

“Don’t push it Braus!” Levi snaps.

Darn it.

“Anything else? Or would you guys like to run through your entire schedules for the next two months with me while you’re at it? It’s not like I’m in the bath naked or anything ha-ha!” Hanji guffaws. It’s so painfully awkward her body literally cannot conjur anything rational to do. They have both slid so far down the tub that she’s practically lying atop Levi, his crotch against her butt making her blush up a storm.

“Why are you in the bath with Captain Levi?” Mikasa asks. Everyone stares at her.

“Mikasa!” Armin exclaims. They absolutely do not need more time in this tiny room with their two naked superiors.

“Hanji is filthy. I’m cleaning her. What’s abnormal about this situation?” Levi deadpans.

“I can’t reach my back! It’s a practical arrangement!” Hanji chuckles, “it’s not like we’re dating or anything!”

“My parents are married and they don’t even do this...” Sasha murmurs.

Jean has had enough. His face is so red he feels like he’ll die if he doesn’t stop this nonsense. This is a conversation that never needed to happen. “Permission to be dismissed from this conversation!”

“Fuck! Finally! Permission granted Jean!” Hanji says, throwing her hands up in despair.

Everyone shuffles out the door, and Armin bumps against the frame multiple times because his eyes are still shut. Levi and Hanji let out a collective sigh. Good lord Armin!

“Uh... Okay... Bye mom and dad...” Eren stutters, how does one leave this situation on a good note because this isn’t it, “I mean... Captain... Squad leader...” he gathers his jaw from where it has hit the ground and leaves with the others.

Hanji laughs awkwardly and turns to Levi, “remember when Erwin and the others saw-“

Levi’s face is red, and the blush has now spread to his neck. Thankfully the kids are gone. Another moment longer and most of the bubbles would have popped. He tsks and cuts Hanji off, “I would very much not like to remember that... Or this...”