#let laudna be angry

[shorthaltsjester]

every bells hells interaction with keyleth being a bullying (affectionate) interrogation — usually about things they have already interrogated her about — versus their interactions with vex being like 3 of the hells at any given time Will be distracted by her hotness and the rest will be just going yes ma’am whatever you say . extremely extremely real of them . i have to imagine after every interaction keyleth is like WHY do they keep doing this to me and vex is like idk darling maybe your vibes are just off

but also i just need them to carry some of the our old pcs are bugs were poking under a microscope energy to vex i need to know what her takes on vaxorb and the gods are right now . do i think vex is as likely to be open with bells hells as keyleth is? doubtful. but i still want them to try

[brjeauregard]

It’s wild to me how many people are angry at Orym for “letting” Laudna lose control and for telling Keyleth about Imogen’s mom. It feels like people are conveniently forgetting everything he’s been through in favor of coddling Imogen and Laudna. Don’t get me wrong, I love Imogen and Laudna and think they’re great characters, but they aren’t the only ones with trauma.

Sure Orym could have stepped in and stopped Laudna from killing Bor’Dor, but Liam confirmed on 4SD that Orym was going to kill him regardless. All of the pain and anger that Laudna felt from Bor’Dor’s betrayal was also felt by Orym, coupled with the fact that he was facing a member of the group that killed his husband and father. To say that Orym is blinded by his anger and not capable of seeing the situation objectively is saying that there are two sides to consider. The Ruby Vanguard are killing people indiscriminately and everyone knows that Ludinus can’t be trusted. Was it selfish if Orym to want Delilah back? Yes, but you also can’t ignore his very valid reason for wanting the power to stop Ludinus.

On the Imogen issue, Keyleth has every right to know about the people she’s trusting to help her and her people. A lot of people have already pointed this out, but her reaction would have been so much worse if she found out about Imogen’s connection to the Liliana from an outside source. It’s completely valid for Imogen to want her mom to be good and to try to justify her actions, but doing so in front of Keyleth and Orym, two people who have lost loved ones to the Ruby Vanguard, wasn’t the smartest choice. You can’t defend your enemy and then be surprised when your allies don’t fully trust you. Orym has very clear in the past that he doesn’t want to hear Imogen offer excuses for the Ruby Vanguard or defend their actions. He can love and care about Imogen while also holding her at an arms length in case she does turn on them.

These characters are complex, flawed, and deeply traumatized. They’re not always going to make the morally correct decision, but their choices almost always have a reasonable explanation behind them. You don’t have to agree with every decision they make, but a lot of people conveniently ignore very valid character motivations whenever those characters do something that hurts or upsets their favorite character.

[big-moon-little-moon]

Ashton "No one gets left behind" Greymoore

C3E34 / C3E59

[rosebushwitch]

Imogen spent a week not sure if Laudna was alive, watching all the friends she was with get into relationships or hook up, so yeah she kissed her first chance she got. You fucking bet this unhinged horse girl sorcerer wasn’t missing her shot with spooky beautiful who she’s been pining for at least for months probably for years. Perfection, no notes.

Meanwhile Laudna has gone through death and destruction and relapsing with a necromancer and thinking Imogen was dead and suddenly everyone is back and shes angry and hurt and scared and Imogen wants to kiss her? She’s at her worst and Imogen wants to kiss her, and maybe has wanted to kiss her? Uhhh, alright!!!! Yes!!! and then immediately backtracking and saying wait no Imogen, i let the necromancer back in I’m a bad person and Imogen immediately comforting her and launda kissing her again. Perfection, no notes.

[wenamedthedogkylo]

I already said this in my other post but this really deserves to stand on its own and honestly I'm crying over it so it has to get written down somewhere, but when Bor'Dor took a pull from Ashton's pipe, the smoke turned into an image of him shooting a Fire Bolt at the janky, creepy, lovingly set up dummy that the Hells had made for him. The target that his own targets made out of admiration for him, out of affection, out of genuinely wanting to see him grow his potential.

Ashton's pipe showed that the greatest, most heroic moment of Bor'Dor's life was casting Fire Bolt at that target, and getting to celebrate it with the rest of the Hells. It was feeling accepted for the first time in his life. Feeling respected. Feeling like he belonged, like he and his magic belonged and weren't some horrible, dangerous thing that they would fear him for or would have a temple come and cart him away for.

These people—who he somehow either followed across an ocean or luckily ran into—who he specifically stayed with because he intended to kill them for sabotaging the Ruby Vanguard's plans. For killing "his friends" in Marquet.

These people were the ones he finally felt accepted by. Not the Ruby Vanguard.

He gave Ashton the first piece of mental relief and relaxation they'd felt in years, maybe ever. He gave them jerky, and made them fruit leather, and caught a little fish and had Prism Enlarge it to make sure they could eat. Was he telling himself it was just to ingratiate himself to them, to get closer so the knife would be easier to twist? When did ingratiating himself become "I wanted you to like me"? Did he have to keep convincing himself it was all part of the plan, that he didn't really like them, that he didn't want to keep them alive but he had to to get his revenge, that he could let them die at any moment and this wasn't just him getting attached because how could he get attached to people he meant to kill?

Did Bor'Dor realize, in the moment that he decided to try killing them in that cave, that the Vanguard had only ever seen him as a weapon? That his "friends" who'd died in Marquet (he'd watched Ashton throw some of their bodies out of the Hole just days ago) wouldn't have sought revenge for his death the same way, because he was nothing more than a tool for one man's schemes? Did he realize he had more in common with Orym who'd lost all his loved ones to Ludinus and Otohan and the Vanguard—with Laudna and her myriad of terrifying, beautiful magical gifts and her desire to do good with them—than he'd ever had in common with anyone in the Vanguard?

Is that part of why he just tried to run?

It didn't have to be this way!

Bor'Dor healed most of the group right after fighting the Taker. He knew that his Vitriolic Sphere probably wouldn't kill all of them, that they had health potions and could recover. He just needed to get away. Get away so that they couldn't come after him, and he didn't have to see how he'd hurt the only people who'd welcomed him into their hearts in years, and he could tell himself that maybe they did die and he'd fulfilled his mission, and could tell himself too that maybe they didn't die and he hadn't actually killed his only real friends in the world.

I saw you! In Marquet! You murdered my friends!

Was he really still angry at the Hells for killing Ruby Vanguard members? Or was he trying desperately to fight back against how much they cared about him? How much they had genuinely reached out and taken him in? How much it was going to hurt him to hurt them? Was he trying to cling to his original purpose, so that he could ignore how much it hurt to kill the first people who'd seen his magic and said "you're amazing" and meant it? Who'd said "can I try something", "what else can you do", "it's nice to know I'm not alone, because you're in the same boat as me"?

And when he gave up... when he didn't try to fight back... when he begged for the end because there was no point anymore...

The Vanguard wasn't enough to stay alive for. And he'd just betrayed the only people who'd ever completely accepted him. There was no point anymore. No point in fighting. No point in living. He was done. He'd had enough.

Bor'Dor Dog'Son deserves his peace. I'm glad he got it.

[isagrimorie]

I honestly love how angry Laudna was in the first half of the show, out the gate. The moment Orym called attention to FCG's new clothes, Laudna's face was this:

But even through that Laudna can't help but comment and compliment Imogen on her new look:

Imogen smiles at Laudna: "I love the new look."

She just lit up at Laudna's compliment.

And then Sam just goes straight into it, probably sensing the Drama potential and immediately Laudna's mood shifts from sad-soft to sharp.

Also, of course, Imogen's face when Ashton said: "You were the last person to have a complete breakdown."

Fearne also looked concerned.

And then Imogen's face when Laudna pointed to her and said: "You have a new best friend, apparently."

Completely bewildered by this classification of her friendship with FRIDA. I also love Travis's husband reaction of: 'Uh-oh.'

Imogen is completely startled because out of everyone on Team Wildemount she was the one who didn't want to rest and just want to be on task.

I live for Imogen's 'Excuse me?'

It's so funny because apparently, Laudna didn't get any of Imogen's messages that she WASN'T having any fun sexual or otherwise last episode. Like, Imogen really did need to spell it out for her, and another reason why Imogen decided to just make her feelings plain.

Imogen tries to explain and Fearne is also quick to buck up and defend Imogen. Meanwhile, Chetney offers his sexual healing services.

Laudna looked like whatever Chetney's saying isn't computing with her and later looks like she was half a second away from getting angry at him.

And then much later Ashton and Orym are gently trying to convince Laudna to try and unwind, feel what it's like to be Human again. Taking care of Laudna the way they failed to do, bringing her back from the brink of the abyss.

Imogen doesn't even know yet that Ashton and Orym just let her fall.

Orym and Ashton coaxing her back from the edge, directing her back to life, to Imogen.

And it starts to work especially when Imogen brings up visiting Zhuduanna and their old home in Jrsusar. Signs of the old Laudna seem to be softening her edges and her stare isn't as blank or blankly furious anymore.

But it's true they all need to unwind from the harrowing trip they've all been through.

Still, I feel there's hell to pay if or when Imogen ever found out that Orym and Ashton just let Laudna fall down the abyss and possibly let Delilah back into Laudna.

Fearne is just trying to navigate this seachange of emotions too, she was also deeply affected by the split of the team but she's just much better at hiding it.

(Also, Marisha Ray deserves all the accolades because she's so good!)

[zeephyre]

CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 3 EP 95 SPOILERS

jesus christ these nerds are going to kill me.

before i get into my think piece abt... everything that transpired at the end of this episode, i would like to say this is one of the best c3 episodes.... one of my favourite episodes of all time. idk idk.

essek? smut? astrid? poly bells hells allegations?? i was already fucking sold dawg. i cannot goddamn believe that this four hour episode was... mostly... a shopping episode. i cant wait for the new art, regardless of the batshitery that happened that kinda throws my vibes off. i digress.

oh ashton greymoore i love you so much. i have been so worried abt them but honestly they're probably the lat person im concerned for currently. the grief was so compelling to watch and taliesin is a master of roleplaying as minus charisma but genuinely charismatic in his dorky awkward gruff and fumbling way. his rizz is actually just blindsiding us with earnest acts of service and comfort for his friends and i think thats so neat. im happy that they're all going to aeor with fcg intertwined throughout their outfits. its poetic and also maddeningly sweet.

(love the little callowmoore moments sprinkled through this episode... they're so real to me)

pumat was fun and i am so damn glad they got all the items matt offered cause they were all so fucking cool.

also??? sugar daddy dorian storm??? yeah i see you gay boy. dorym is so real guys we need to prepare for a confession and soon. idk i get the vibe liam is gonna drop it in the most heartbreaking way. or robbie. they're both sick in the head tbh.

loved the little queer inn that essek dragged them to and the calm before the storm was genuinely the cutest shit ever and im glad they were having fun despite everything. we got the essek and ashton dunamancy scene that i have been begging for but i cant even talk abt that right now.

before i address orym and laudna...

delilah briarwood. im gonna fucking kill you. best believe that.

theres been so much discourse on twitter abt who was right or wrong or this or that, but ultimately the point is: neither of them is RIGHT. they're both stricken with trauma and grief, and motivated by the love they have for a) the ones orym has lost and b) the one laudna is fighting not to lose. laudna WAS worried abt orym before delilah twisted that into paranoia, and orym didnt wield that fuckass blade bc he DOESNT feel sick touching it.

he says its not abt revenge but... god. orym. you want revenge. call it whatever you like but you've been angry for a while.

laudna says she KNEW the sword was cursed, but she was lying or in denial abt the fact that delilah is the one who coerced her to hold the blade in her hand.

if either of them had decided to talk to each other or the group as a whole then this could have -- most likely -- been avoided. orym decided to take the blade and shoulder the burden of what it meant and what it represented so they didnt have. laudna felt betrayed and hurt but instead of trusting orym she was manipulated back into that cunt's clutches.

i dont prescribe to trauma olympics, especially when laudna and orym never actually denied each others' trauma with otohan and that blade so i think its slightly irrelevant when discussing them both.

(i will say this... otohans blade is what killed laudna but delilah is the one who had her in a cage when she was dead. otohan murdered oryms family and there was absolutely nothing that could save them. i firmly believe THAT is what chetney meant, not that laudna hasnt suffered so we can all just... unclench a little idk)

in all the discourse, lets not forget who the real villains are -- evil milfs (delilah and otohan). delilah chose this moment to sew distrust in laudna towards orym for a reason. its like the spider queen and opal. she NEEDS laudna isolated and dependent, and she cant sink her teeth in completely if laudna has someone to fall back on.

imodna... jesus imodna breaks me every time. that entire scene on the roof while laudna looks so much like her abuser -- the woman who MURDERED her -- and having that visage fade as laudna proclaims her love for imogen. peak romance and tragedy.

it was still so upsetting hearing the echoes of delilah as laudna spoke tho. knowing her hold on laudna is getting stronger and laudna has no real faith that she will be able to fight against her. hearing her ask imogen if shes still fun scary and knowing that imogen cant tell the truth. this isnt fun anymore. laudna is in danger and imogen doesnt know how to fix it.

"I'll always love you, Laudna. I just don't know what to do with it."

its uh its not looking good for our sapphics fellas.

anyway, i do think that ashton was the emotional mvp of this episode, especially while shit was escalating. putting themself between orym and laudna, PROTECTING laudna despite knowing she attacked him, TRUSTING that she was actually telling the truth and guiding her to see the forest for the trees and apologize for an irrational choice made through a mixture of trauma, delusion and paranoia.

im... excited? for the next episode? not sure why we keep having really horrible inter-party conflict the day before going on a suicide mission but the hells are my problem babies and i have to accept that they're just little fucked up guys.

god. is it thursday yet??

(AND WHERE THE HELL IS SAM)

[vethbrenatto]

breaking all That down a little

honestly c3e78 was just a FASCINATING roleplay episode so i'm doing a little train of thought meta on different people's reactions to the events of c3e77:

most of the group is angry at ashton, obviously. but for different reasons. fcg & imogen seem to carry concern largely for ashton themself and fear his self-harming tendencies. both go in on him directly, but also seem to be the ones who are openly the kindest towards them after they reject the second shard.

conversely, laudna and chetney are mad at ashton for hurting fearne (and in laudna's case, feel specifically betrayed). they both feel his crime is the effect his actions have on others.

which is fascinating, when paired with fearne's reaction, because fearne also blames ashton, but just as heavily blames herself. others like chetney and laudna rage in her honor, but she's mad at herself for going along with it. for making the "wrong" choice. for letting her feelings for ashton cloud her judgment.

and circling back around, we get to what ashton is feeling. regret, sorrow, immediate attempts at amends. but there's something in their conversation with chetney that really got me: when they state that when chetney inevitably fucks up at some point in the future, they will stand by chetney and give support. that he will show grace in that situation.

to which chetney says, just words. which maybe. but it's so in line with what ashton wants- family, belonging, unconditional love. going all the way back to the nobodies, this is what ashton is about. i think he would show grace, and i think he has in situations when others in the party haven't. there's something hard to swallow about the reactions to ashton in this episode, not because they're wrong from the other members of the party, but because in ashton's rebuttal to chetney, it feels like what ashton needs is for someone to say, "you fucked up, but we still love you." which they sort of get around to by the end of the episode, but we're not quite there yet.

insane RP episode, 10/10

[southern-gothic-comic]

Page 40

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(Author Notes)

Panel 1-2-3: The next day at her job Imogen is looking tired and overwhelmed, resting her elbows on the counter and massaging her temples against a headache. The voices and thoughts of the other customers in the packed store crowd against her as she struggles to fill orders and she can’t seem to block them out. Everyone is clamoring for remedies, everyone is tense and nervous and angry, and all of them are causing her further pain. After a few panels she is flushed and sweating and on the verge of breaking down.

Miscellaneous Voices, spoken and unspoken: What do you mean, it’s out of stock? — What help is that to me? — laudanum, oatmeal, licorice root, antimonial — No! I said belladonna and chicory root, not licorice!! Are you even listenin’ to me? — Sweet Sarenrae what am I gonna do, where am I gonna get it? — Get a move on, stupid girl! — HOW MUCH for a healin’ potion?? — gods what’m I gonna do if he gets it too it’ll just be me left on my feet — Don’t you go cuttin’ the line, Esther Hayes. I’ve been waitin’ here all afternoon! — I got three sick kids at home! — You and everyone else in town. Get to the back of the line! — What is takin’ so long up there? — Momma, my throat hurts! Momma I wanna go hoooome! — quinine, chicken soup, epsom salts, mustardseed, honey — Two weeks, I can’t wait two weeks! I need it today! — how long is this line? — barley, oranges, throat elixir

Imogen, finally: Excuse me.

Customer: Now where do you think you’re goin’, girl? You’re not done with me yet!

Panel 4: She goes into the back room and leans against a shelf, trembling. Laudna, who is perched on a high shelf counting the dwindling stock, leans over to look at her.

Imogen: L-laudna? Are you in here? 

Her thoughts: I need you.

Laudna: Whatever is the matter, dearest?

Imogen: I’m . . . I’m not feelin’ too good.

Panel 5: She descends and Imogen falls into her arms and buries her face in her shoulder. Laudna leans back a little to support her weight.

Imogen: Everyone is too loud and too much and everything hurts and I can’t block it out and I don’t know why. It hurts.

Panel 6: Imogen leans appreciatively into the coolness of Laudna’s hand as she lays it against her forehead.

Laudna: Here, let me-- Oh, darling. You’re much too warm. 

Imogen: You sure it’s not just that you’re cold?

Laudna: No, you have a fever. You poor thing. Do you feel achy? Queasy? Itchy? Do you want some water? You ought to be home in bed, not out there being shrilled at by that gaggle of harpies.

Her thoughts: gods she is burning up what should I do where to find a doctor all right get her home put her to bed keep her safe but there’s no medicine left what should I do

Imogen: Can’t leave while the store’s still so full. It’s fine. I just need to sit down for a minute . . .

Laudna: You leave that to me.

Panel 7-8: Laudna leaves the stockroom briefly, leaving Imogen sitting on a grain sack. Screams are heard. She returns.

Laudna: Shop’s empty! Let’s go.

[quietblueriver]

Very short thing set immediately after ep 95 because it wrecked me and I had a second to Kermit-style spew some feelings. Imogen-centric, as I am wont. Pls excuse any typos and the probably wild overuse of the comma.

-

Long moments pass, the ridge of Laudna’s nose pressing just underneath Imogen's jaw, her arms linked around Imogen’s waist as Imogen does what she can not to break in half. 

It’s second nature, to run her fingers through Laudna’s hair, a familiar action, easy, meant to soothe them both, meant to keep them grounded, together, tethered. Imogen knows exactly how much pressure to use, how to move gently to avoid hurting Laudna or coming away with a small creature’s worth of hair in her palm. She’s done it a hundred times before, a thousand, but this time, there’s a prickle in her mind and her hand slows on the second full pass as she tries to figure out what’s different, what’s wrong. Except it’s what’s right, actually. Or what would be right, if Laudna were someone else. The strands are softer, thicker, falling through her fingers easily. Almost like Laudna’s…

Imogen’s rigid as the thought takes hold, and Laudna shifts against her with a small questioning noise. It takes everything she has to try to relax, but it’s apparently enough, cool lips grazing the skin of her neck as Laudna settles again. 

Fuck. She can’t be sure, no matter how many times she lets the strands glide over her skin, whether there really is something different or whether she’s just looking for Delilah everywhere now, and she hates it, hates that her life has been so disrupted, so shaken, that even this almost mundane intimacy can’t be trusted. Her world tilts just a little more, and surely, surely, she’s finally upside-down.

The body that has helped to keep her here relaxes further into her, trusting and vulnerable, even as Imogen tries not to show her panic, tries to hide the way she keeps her breath shallow because she’s scared she’ll smell something other than earth mixed with lavender.

Fighting back the angry, screaming sob that seems to live perpetually in her throat these days, she feels, a little distantly, the cold sigh against her neck.

The exhale shifts into a phrase that Laudna has repeated more times than Imogen can count in the last half hour: “I love you.” 

There had been a momentary relief the first time Laudna said it, free of the stain of Delilah’s echo, something pure in the middle of their absolutely fucked, world-breaking conversation. Laudna, just Laudna, telling Imogen she loves her. 

But each repetition sounds less like reassurance and more like desperation, more like a plea. It’s me, it’s me, it’s me. She wants so badly for that to be true.

But Imogen has never been allowed to live in what she wants to be true.

Maybe it is still Laudna, soft and true and hers, but they’re too far gone now for Imogen to trust it.

She knows that those words are a perfect weapon for Delilah, an ideal means of self-preservation. There is no better way to keep Imogen on the line, to give Imogen–and maybe Laudna, too–hope that some part of Laudna has been preserved from Delilah's influence, than by making it seem as though she can’t touch their love. 

She almost can’t bear their corruption, but the only thing worse than hearing those words like this is not hearing them at all, so she takes them dipped in poison, feels them feed the rotten and writhing truth inside of her. It’s a truth that she has been avoiding since that night in Whitestone, and now it’s crawling beneath her skin, coiling in her stomach, refusing to be ignored any longer: 

Something is wrong. 

Laudna is wrong. 

And what is Imogen supposed to do with that? 

“I love you, too,” she whispers, and it is a truth, too, as it has always been, but, face pressed into dark hair that she’s suddenly afraid to breathe in in case it’s the thing that topples them both, Imogen has no idea how much of Laudna there is left to love.

[ria-the-camel]

god the parallels between liliana and laudna, Imogen is terrified the pull of Delilah will rip her away just like ruidus did with her mom.

She’s so angry about it, because she loves her! And unlike her mother, she knows her! They know each other, and that love is a choice, and is fostered!

She will never let her go, and that could mean getting pulled apart by two different forces, Delilah and Predathos, how ironic for her to get sundered by her love

[immult]

imogen looking every bit of stoic when laudna stabbed herself goes unreasonably hard. "i watch it happen" oh YES you do. commit this to memory. don't let yourself forget what is being done to laudna because of her. and how it was done.

look at the tempest: i've been angry for 30 years, help me find a place to use it. now look at your storm.

[utilitycaster]

You know what's interesting to me? For all people keep claiming at every juncture that perhaps Bells Hells will come around on the gods and see the harm they do (which, as discussed extensively, is, half the time, simply not intervening) not only have they never done so, but also they never quite cross the line into saying the party should join the Ruby Vanguard or aid them - and indeed, they defend against it - so what does this achieve? It feels like they're asking for a story in which the party stands idly by, which isn't much of a story nor, if I may connect this briefly to the real world, a political stance anyone should be proud of.

That's honestly the frustration with the gods and the "what if the Vanguard has a point" conversations in-game. What do we do then? Do we allow the organization that will murder anyone for pretty much any reason that loosely ties into their goals run rampant? The group that (perhaps unwittingly, but then again, Otohan's blades had that poison) disrupted magic world-wide, and caused people who had the misfortune to live at nexus points to be teleported (most, as commoners, without means of return). While also fomenting worldwide unrest?

Those were the arguments before the trip to Ruidus; with the reveal of the Vanguard's goals to invade Exandria, the situation becomes even more dire. Do you let the Imperium take over the planet?

And do the arguments against the gods even hold up? If Ludinus is so angry at them for the Calamity, what does it say that he destroyed Western Wildemount's first post-Calamity society for entirely selfish means? (What does it say about the validity of vengeance as a motivator?) What does it say that Laudna told Imogen she could always just live in a cottage quietly without issue before the solstice even happened? (Would this still be true if the Imperium controls the world?) What does it say that when faced with a furious, grieving party and the daughter she keeps telling herself was her reason for all of this, Liliana can't provide an answer to the question of what the gods have done other than that their followers will retaliate...for, you know, the Vanguard's endless list of murders. (That is how the Vanguard and Imperium tend to think, huh? "How dare your face get in the way of my boot; how dare you hit me back when I strike you.") She can't even provide a positive answer - why is Predathos better - other than "I feel it", even though Imogen and Fearne know firsthand that Predathos can provide artificial feelings of elation. Given all the harm Ludinus has done in pursuit, why isn't the conclusion "the gods should have crashed Aeor in such a way that the tech was unrecoverable?"

Even as early as the first real discussion on what the party should do, the fandom always stopped short of saying "no, Imogen's right, they should join up with the people who killed half the party," it was always "no, she didn't really mean it, she just was trying to connect with her mother." Well, she's connected with her mother, and at this point the party doesn't even care about the gods particularly (their only divinely-connected party member having died to prevent the Vanguard from killing all of them). So they will stop the Vanguard; as Ashton says, the means are unforgiveable. As Laudna says, it's not safe to bet on Predathos's apathy. As Imogen says, she's done running; the voice that she used to think of as a lifeline belongs to someone she doesn't trust. So I guess my question is: if they're stopping the people who are trying to kill the gods (and defense of the gods isn't remotely their personal motivation)...do you think the next phase of the campaign is Bells Hells personally killing the gods? Reconstructing the Aeor tech and hoping none of their allies notice? How does this end? Does your ideology ever get enacted? Or is this entirely moot and pointless and the story ends with Bells Hells saying "well, I'm really glad we stopped the people who [insert list of Vanguard atrocities from above]; none of us follow the gods or plan to, but honestly, the status quo we return to is preferable to whatever nightmare Ludinus had concocted in his violent quest for power and revenge"?

[genderless-ghost]

oh my fucking god the domunox (idk how to spell his name and idc) reveal??? grand demon of loathing that attacks insecurities to induce self loathing to make people embrace the abyss??? holy shit. ashton is right they are so fucked, bells hells is a fucking buffet for this fucker.

chet - like he may love being the wolf, but his is losing control of the wolf and hurting people, especially those he cares about and that missing time where he might have hurt people like kids, especially considering he’s lost control and hurt the group before, specifically orym

laudna - her whole deal with delilah and how intertwined they are, but also hurting and losing imogen and to an extent the others, her self worth issues and how willing she is to give up herself and intertwine and use delilah to stop ludinus

imogen - losing laudna to delilah, especially if it’s emphasized that imogen could have saved her, the loss of her future with laudna, losing herself to predathos, what they’re doing isn’t enough, also is delilah taking control of laudna and she isn’t paying attention or able to stop it

fearne - outwardly she doesn’t have a ton of insecurities, but her parents could be brought up in a “they left you with nana, did they even want you, did they even care, they never came back”

ashton - his whole thing with self worth and feeling like they weren’t able to get fcg to see their own self worth. they are only here to take the damage the others can’t take, their abandonment issues especially with the nobodies, maybe even bring it back to what happened with the shard and absolutely bring in being unable to stop or save fcg

dorian - obviously his brother cyrus and what happened with opal and the crown keepers. ties into his own self worth issues and his connection to the spider queen, the fact that he doesn’t really know what he’s doing here, feeling lost. feeling like if he had let cyrus fix his problem, maybe he would still be here. i am so ready for robbie to wreck us at the live show and if matt brings orym into the hallucination with cyrus that dorian is having i will Lose My Mind even more than i already am

orym - all of his self sacrifice issues and need to protect his family at his own expense. also bringing in the the deal with nana mori and using the fight with laudna to make him feel like the group only wants him bc he can take hits for them. it would absolutely target his survivors guilt and his feelings that he shouldn’t have survived the attack when the others died. if he fails the save, i can’t wait for matt to show him his family, especially will and derrig and dorian, saying things like “why didn’t you save us, how did you let this happen, don’t you care about us? we’re dead you’re still here and you shouldn’t be”. let him break down and be angry and sob i want this so so bad

god i can’t fucking wait for the live show this is gonna wreck us

[cringefaecompilation]

let’s talk about fearne getting mad!

fearne does not like being mad. she doesn’t like complex emotions in general. she likes being happy and she likes to see her friends happy. when dorian left, she hated the thought of feeling sad about him leaving.

this best shows off in episode 34 when she was killed and went to... somewhere. she shrugged off her own death, but was devastated when laudna and orym died and she had to choose which one of them to save. she didn’t want to. the thought of choosing herself and losing either of them would have killed her, and fcg gives her the coin so she doesn’t have to make that choice. and try as she might, she can’t save both. the coin said tails. laudna dies.

so she blames the coin for it. she is upset with fcg, but she pretends that the coin doesn’t exist until fcg uses a spell to make it more evident. and then she proceeds to talk about destroying the coin or getting rid of it even after laudna is brought back. and speaking of when laudna returns, fcg keeps using the coin and scaring her away! and fearne gets pissed when they do this and almost refuses to cure him because he was cruel to laudna.

and then when ashton and her reclaimed a shard everyone pushed her to take it right after she was told that using it would cause her to blow up and trying to make it sound like a good thing that she should have it. but she says no, it’s ashton’s shard. they should have it! they’re a titan, not me!

fearne is scared and uncomfortable, but she thinks she’s doing the right thing right up until she isn’t and ashton is almost killed due to them going off a hunch. and we see how her rationale works in episode 78: this is all ashton’s fault, no, it’s their stupid hammer’s fault, no, it’s all the harness’ fault, that caused all this, i have to destroy it so everything will be okay again.

and chetney confronts her and she again realizes the truth that they’re both culpable for their actions in this but she’s still upset whenever they mention the harness. she says she’s angry at ashton, and i think she genuinely was, but it’s not as angry as she is at herself and the harness that almost got him killed.

and it’s not nearly angry enough for her not to be horrified when they say that they deserved to die so she would be happy. so she takes something that she was told time and time again would kill her and reminds her of something that she has tried not to be like to protect her friends just so she can make sure her friends are all happy. because if they’re happy, she’s happy.

[towards-toramunda]

What bothers me most about 'Orym is the reason Laudna killed Bor'dor' is iirc in the episode Marisha pretty clearly states Laudna didn't even really notice the nod? She didn't notice much of anything because she was fixated on that one objective, and nothing was going to get in her way. But of course, it still becomes 'Ashton and Orym were horrible for not stopping her.'

Yeah tbh I’ve seen a lot of people bring up that in 4sd Marisha said she was looking to orym and Ashton and Liam said that he wasn’t gonna let bordor leave that scene alive and he knew in that moment she might bring Delilah back but that Orym thought they might need Delilah for this fight and… Like… yes we can acknowledge the enabling, but I’ve seen so many people act like enabling someone to do something he would’ve done either way makes Orym an irredeemable person. I truly believe that the nod didn’t change anything and she would’ve killed bordor regardless. I remember while I was watching the episode thinking the nod felt almost like an act of tragic kindness in the moment. Like Liam/Orym could see how hurt and emotional Marisha/Laudna was in this moment and nodded to let her know that “its okay. I agree with you.” Almost as a way to attempt to lift the burden from her and let her know that she wasn’t alone despite how awful the situation was.

I think it’d be interesting for the story if Laudna was gonna kill him either way but was so traumatized by it all that she began viewing Orym’s nod as “the reason she did it” so she could deflect accountability for it all, BUT I really think she was gonna do it either way.

And like… everyone angry that “he is the reason she leaned back into her addiction” I mean since then Laudna and Imogen have talked about leaning into their dark side with each other and harnessing that power for the mission and nobody in the fandom seems angry at either of them for enabling each other. It feels hypocritical to be so upset with orym still after all this time because he… nodded in agreement with her killing a guy he was going to kill either way and thought they might need Delilah. (For the record I’m messy and I like drama so I’m always gonna support PCs enabling other PCs to do morally questionable things for the sake of the story like Imogen and laudna are doing with each other and like Orym did with the nod. Like yeah push that big red button what’s it gonna do? I’m curious and like messy stories)