#let's make that ptsd diagnosis official-- /lh

[pierswife]

Thinkin about little ways my F/Os would comfort me and help keep me grounded after a really really bad panic attack and it's helping a lot, admittedly.

Linhardt would like... sit down beside me and hold my hand while rubbing small circles into my hand with his thumb. He'd also speak super softly to me and tell me all sorts of different facts about anything and everything to keep me focused on him.

Lyon would do something similar, but it would be an arm around me while he hums a familiar tune to both of us. He'd rock us back and forth gently until I feel ready to try and sleep.

Diluc would let me hide. And what I mean is whoever he finds me, he asks me if I want to keep "hiding", whether it be under my blankets or in his coat. Regardless, he'd wrap his coat around my shoulders (or lay it on top of me) and promise to sit next to me while I sleep to protect me, like how a big brother should.

Flavio would just hold me tight, especially in the moment when I'm the messiest. He would hold me as tight as he could until I was ready to let go and he wouldn't care if I cried super hard to the point I could barely talk or got tears all over his shoulder. He knows that I just want to feel safe and need someone there, so to him he thinks one of the best ways to help me calm down is to just let me cling to him as much as I need to.

I'd include Trand but idk if he'd be sure what to do besides asking if I wanna get some fresh air and go for a walk to help get the energy out somewhere.

[kpopwerewolf]

Introduction Post

So, I figured I probably should write this

SO! I'm a neurodivergent dragon (/lh /nsrs) that has a whole mess of conditions (described at the end of the post) and has a passion for reading, writing, fanfiction, languages, conlanging, animals, random factoids I'll never have an occasion to use, and mythical creatures! (Hence the "neurodivergent dragon.")

I don't like to give out my ""real"" name (by that i mean birth name) over the internet, but you can call me Skye because I like her (Agents of SHIELD tv show).

I made a tumblr account on accident, tbh. (I think i was trying to bypass a paywall??) But it works because I've been curious about joining for a while now.

Feel free to send me random factoids (especially about language or animals!) and anything conlang-related!

If you have any mythical creatures you want to share (either from pre-existing mythology or ones you just made up), I'll gladly welcome that, too!

The userboxes below are credited to @critter-stuff(link), @inclusysboxes(link), and @plural-this-user-is(link). (Sorry about the ping! If you want me to remove it, let me know!)

Our system-specific (and rather inactive) blog is @werewolf-pack-system(link)

We also started an emoji blog (mainly for aac purposes): @wolf-pack-emojis(link)

(Also, I'm not a minor, but please treat me as one in the manner of if you wouldn't send it to a minor, don't send it to me. I'm very sensitive and have some religious beliefs that make it awkward for me to see NSFW or related material.)

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[ID: a userbox that says "This system user alter and headmate interchangeably" //end ID]

[ID: a userbox that says "This system doesn't switch often" //end ID]

[ID: a userbox that says "This system does not participate on Syscourse." //end ID]

(information/discussion of neurodivergencies under the cut)

(Warning! CW self-harm and suicide; eating disorder mention; brief, vague mentions of unreality; potentially other triggering material)

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Sensory processing disorder

Diagnosed when i was about to enter 4th grade.

Lots of negative auditory triggers, with crowds beings sensory misery

LOVE SPINNING LOVE SWINGING [PT: love spinning love swinging //end PT]

Rain. Just... rain. Rain on my face, my arms, just rain all the time.

If i touch a Bad Texture(tm), i must immediately rub the after-touch feeling off my hand

I like going without socks, but only on carpet. If i walk on hard surfaces, then i start feeling grit under my feet and that's just not cool.

Pain and temperature sensitive

I have many stims, mostly proprioceptive (such as rocking [my fave!]), but also have a few visual and tactile stims as well. Fewer auditory stims, but i do use music to help me calm down after i get stressed

Anxiety

Was self-diagnosed for many years; got my official diagnosis a few years ago

Mix of social anxiety and GAD

Makes it hard for me to talk/initiate in conversations

Doesn't help i'm introverted

Depression

Comorbid with the anxiety

Was a bit of a surprise honestly (though i am a bit suicidal and have self-harmed)

Not really a whole lot to go here as i'm still working to understand my depression

PTSD

Diagnosed along with the anxiety

I don't personally see it, but i also kinda do

Diagnosed due to an incident that happened in 5th grade

(Public school is terrible, btw)

Also not a whole lot to go here as i don't really understand my PTSD either

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Also dxed with the anxiety

Don't know much about it, but having it has made me curious about personality disorders in general, so i hope to learn more in the future!

Synesthesia

I'm sure you've noticed the way each disorder has been colored. That's because I'm synesthesia color matching! (Word-color approximations)

I also have pain-color (mostly red; when it's magenta or pink, it's bad; i've only had white once and i hope to never have it again)

(Later edit: I'm now experiencing pain in my jaw that is orange. It's more mild than red, but also sorta worse somehow 'cause it lingers? That's not really the right word, but it's the closest I can come to)

Emotion-color

Ticker-tape (though this has sorta faded)

Chromesthesia/sound-color -- only certain sounds, though, primarily music. Each song has it's own "color" and i tend to align my music preferences along that (for example, i pefer "dark" songs [those that have a black background color] over "bright" songs [those that tend to have a white or similarly-bright colored background])

Associator. Sometimes wish i was a projector

Fascinated by all things synesthesia

Plurality

Syscovery occured in June 2023

We have non-disordered mixed traumagenic and endogenic origins (we don't like to use traumaendo for ourselves)

There are a little over 35 of us that we're aware of, but I (Skye) am the primary one to use this site :) (The others may make their own accounts if they're interested)

Schizotypal Personality Disorder

Confident enough now to officially say I'm self-diagnosing this one

I started thinking it was a possibility when I realized that I tend to have various paranoid ideations and delusions ((tw) such as thinking that the dogs barking as I'm walking home from the park are telling Them where i am [no clue who "Them" would be]), superstitious-like beliefs, and a distinct repulsion of anything social (separate from anxiety or AvPD; just a "i don't feel like dealing with people" kinda weariness)

Schizoid Personality Disorder

Confident enough to now name this one, too.

The things which make me question it include a strong need for isolation to regain energy, periods of finding everything boring and uninteresting, general vague distrust of others, and just a very intense repulsion of human interaction.

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Eating Disorder?

I've been dealing with something that (from what i've been able to find) looks a lot like ARFID, but I don't really know if i have it

I consider it more "ARFID questioning" i guess

One of the more concerning aspects of this is that I've started to become physically nauseous by the smell of food, even stuff I like. I eat much less than I should and have in the past, and if I try to eat more, I feel sick. I've tried talking to my mom about it, but she just tells me I need to eat at more regular times and all (lately, I've been skipping breakfast and waiting until ~2 in the afternoon to eat because it feels like if I get food any sooner, I'll be sick)

Advice on dealing with disordered eating would be very welcomed