#lets be real who calls it delicious in dungeon. it feels so weird

[lordofthesillystraws]

posting my dungeon meshi wb doodles cuz why not. i like dungeon meshi

[mymoodwriting]

Blood Moon

Sehun x Vampire!Chanyeol

Genre: Vampire AU

Warning: Blood, Biting, Abuse, Drowning, Suffocation, Trauma, Fear, Anxiety

Words: 2.4K

Chapters:

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Epilogue

Prompt: Sehun’s life had always been uneventful and lonely. People never really stuck around, so when he finds himself kidnapped by a beautiful stranger he doesn’t know how to feel. Should he be happy that he’s wanted by someone or concerned with escaping even if no one would care he was missing. The only other issue was his kidnapper, who clearly wasn’t human.

     With no sense of time Sehun felt like he was going crazy. Even with dry clothes there was a lingering scent of soup which only kept his hunger pains alive. He was really tired, figuring that getting some sleep would be to his benefit, he couldn’t feel hungry if he was unconscious. He wasn’t sure for how long he slept, since when he woke up nothing had changed.

     The second he sat up his stomach cried out again. He looked at the wrappers from the snacks, seeing if maybe he had missed something but there was nothing left to eat. For some reason he tried opening the door again but it was still locked. He looked around the bathroom to see if he could find anything to use as a weapon but there was nothing useful. When he looked at his reflection he could see just how pale he was.

     Despite sleeping he still felt tired, his lack of energy not helping him figure out an escape plan. He rubbed his neck and groaned, finally noticing the two marks on his neck. They seemed to be healing but still rather fresh. He vaguely remembered being attacked by Chanyeol, but was this his injury. He looked closer, making them out to be some kind of bite mark.

 “What the…”

       His injury didn’t make sense, well it did in one context, but come on, vampires weren’t real. It was probably some kinda needle or he was stabbed with a weird knife. He gently touched the marks, suddenly remembering how he felt when he was attacked, it didn’t hurt, it actually felt good, really good. He shook his head, laughing at his own stupidity, maybe he had been drunk that night.

       He suddenly heard the door being unlocked and he rushed over to his corner. He felt dizzy over the fast movement, suddenly wanting to throw up, not like there would be anything but bile anyway. When the door opened another delicious smell engulfed the room and Sehun couldn’t help but whimper.

 “Do you even move?” Chanyeol asked, but got no response. “So, are you gonna eat this time or should I just dump the food and leave?”

 “No!”

       Sehun felt pathetic but he was starving, he wanted to eat. His hasty response brought a smile to the others lips. Chanyeol pulled up the table close to Sehun and put down the tray.

 “Alright then, eat.”

       Sehun stared at the food, then up at Chanyeol.

 “If you’re concerned over me drugging the food I assure you I didn’t. I wouldn’t taint you like that.”

       He didn’t know if he could believe those words but he was hungry. He swallowed his own pride and moved up, starting to eat. The first bit of food in his mouth tasted like heaven and he dug in without remorse. Chanyeol chuckled, petting the other boys head as he ate.

 “Do you want seconds?”

       Sehun nodded shyly, the food was good and he was still pretty hungry. Whatever dignity he had he had thrown out the window by now. Chanyeol took the empty bowl and left, telling Sehun to drink his juice. He never really like cranberry but it seemed to be his only option. When Chanyeol returned he couldn’t help but perk up.

 “While you eat I’ll get you some new sheets okay.”

       This time Sehun had the luxury of eating alone. He really shouldn’t be happy but it had been so long since he had a home cooked meal, and it was really good. When he finished the second bowl he took a moment to see how he felt, he felt fine, so the food hadn’t been poisoned in any way.

       When Chanyeol returned he scurried to his corner, only moving when he was asked to so the sheets could be replaced. Chanyeol stood over him, Sehun staring at the floor, hating how small the space was. His hair was played with for a bit before his chin was grabbed, forcing him to look at Chanyeol.

 “You smell like soup, how about a bath?”

       Sehun didn’t answer, he knew he wouldn’t have a say in the matter. Chanyeol blindfolded him and took him out of the room. He wasn’t sure why, he expected the outside to look like some dungeon, that didn’t stop him from trying to peek and look around, he saw nothing though. They went down a hall then took a right, going into a room, and then another. When the blindfold was removed he found himself in a rather luxurious bathroom.

       The tub could clearly hold at least two people, and it suddenly hit him he was probably gonna bathe with the psycho. Although what hit him first was the fact the he was going to be naked in front of a stranger in a moment. While he had his panic Chanyeol warmed up the water.

 “Come on now, bath is ready.”

 “Um…”

 “Just you, I won’t be joining you this time. Come on.”

       Chanyeol grabbed Sehun’s shirt starting to tug it off. Sehun pulled away, not wanting to be touched.

 “I can clean myself up.”

 “I’m not gonna leave you to do something silly like drown yourself. So strip.”

       Sehun swallowed nervously, there was no winning in that situation but he still didn’t wanna get naked in front of the other. He really should have cause Chanyeol was quick to get frustrated. Although instead of trying to get Sehun’s clothes off again he merely threw the boy into the tub and kept him under for a while.

       Sehun didn’t register what had happened until he found himself struggling to breathe. Chanyeol held him down with ease, the boy uselessly trying to push his way to the surface. It wasn’t until he could tell that Sehun was getting weaker did he let him up. Sehun quickly took in air and climbed out of the tub, curling up on the floor.

 “So, are we going to nicely take a bath now?”

 “Yes…”

       Sehun sat up, taking off his soaked shirt and following with the rest until he stood naked before the other.

 “Good boy.”

       Chanyeol took his hand and got him into the tub, having him sit while he grabbed the essentials. Sehun was quiet, still shaking over his near death experience, while Chanyeol cleaned him up. The other seemed very happy to be taking care of him, as if he was some kind of pet.

 “How’s school?”

 “Hm?”

 “I have your wallet remember, found your school ID. What are you studying?”

       Sehun didn’t answer, it’s not that he was trying to be a nuisance but even he didn’t really know the answer. He should have lied, maybe it would have saved him from the unpleasant look he was getting. Before anything else happened he heard someone else call out Chanyeol’s name. Chanyeol sighed, but got up.

 “I’ll be right back, stay.”

       Chanyeol left the room. Sehun didn’t know how to feel. There was clearly someone else there. He didn’t know if they were just like him, a victim, or not, or if they even knew he was being held captive. He looked around for a towel and got out of the tub, he didn’t want to stay there. If there were other people around maybe he could get help.

       He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out of the bathroom. He was surprised by the room he entered, clearly a bedroom, most likely Chanyeol’s and the bed was far to big for one person. He figured the person who kidnapped him was some lowlife, but then again the bathtub and room screamed money, and a lot of it. It made him more confused as to why a person who could clearly have anything would kidnap someone. If he dwelled on it longer he knew he wouldn’t like the answer.

     He forced himself to focus on escaping and headed for the door when he noticed the phone on the nightstand. He scrambled for it but stopped when he held it, who would he even call. He didn’t really have friends, and anyone else he could call barely knew him, what would he say anyway. That he was kidnapped, they’d take it as a joke and hang up.

       The police were also out of the question, he had no idea where he was, and there was also the chance they wouldn’t believe him and think it was some kind of prank. He was on his own, so he had to find a way out without help. When he put the phone down he felt a nice breeze hit him. He noticed the wall on the other side was covered by curtains, and clearly a window was open, perhaps a way out.

     He thought that maybe he had been locked up in someone’s basement, that they had some nice house in some rich secluded neighborhood, he was very wrong. When he pulled back the curtain he could see a city skyline. He was in some building, and he was many stories above ground, windows were no longer an exit strategy.

 “Nice view right?”

       Sehun yelled when he felt another voice whisper in his ear. He turned around, Chanyeol inches from him, somehow having snuck up on the boy. He was pinned against the window, trying to make himself as small as possible.

 “I thought I told you to stay put, care to explain?”

 “I… I was…looking for some clothes.”

 “Is that really the excuse you’re going to give?”

 “Um…”

       Chanyeol sighed and further pulled open the curtains. He flipped Sehun around so he could look out at the city. Sehun was nervous, his own reflection reminding him he was only wearing a towel.

 “Do you like it? My city?”

       Sehun tried to push the other off him to no avail, it merely got him pressed against the glass. Chanyeol gently stroked his cheek.

 “You don’t look so pale anymore. You’re getting your strength back, that’s good.” Chanyeol noticed the marks on Sehun’s neck. “Huh, I guess I didn’t fix that.”

       Sehun was practically holding his breathe, not sure what was going to happen next. He was in trouble, that was a given going by his situation.

 “Who are you?”

 “Chanyeol, I already gave you my name. And you can stop denying the obvious sweetheart.”

 “What?”

 “You know what.”

       Chanyeol kissed the boys neck, looking into the boys eyes through the reflection, making sure he was watching before exposing his fangs and biting into his tender flesh. Sehun gasped when he saw Chanyeol’s sharp teeth, there was no denying it anymore. Before he could try to push the other away he felt that pleasure from before, unable to resist and giving in. He couldn’t help but watch his own reflection.

       He clearly seemed happy even though he probably shouldn’t have been, it wasn’t his fault though. Despite the pleasure his mind was still trying to wrap around the fact that vampires were real and he was being imprisoned by one. Chanyeol pulled away, his lips bloody, and kissed Sehun’s cheek.

 “Such a good boy aren’t we?”

       Sehun couldn’t think, he couldn’t even register the words being whispered to him, he merely let out a whine when Chanyeol moved away.

 “Patience, we can more fun when you get your strength back.”

       Chanyeol let go of Sehun and let him fall to the floor, licking the blood off his lips while he stared out at the city.

 “Probably shouldn’t have done that, but you have such a sweet taste.”

       Sehun curled up on the floor, his head spinning. He was feeling sick, but really didn’t want to throw up the food he had. He laid on his back after a moment, the room spinning, his hand reached over to his neck, pulling away with blood on it. Chanyeol noticed his actions.

 “Shouldn’t let that go to was-” Chanyeol chuckled. “Do you want help with that?”

       Sehun had no idea what the other boy was talking about, that is until he felt a hand over his crotch, realizing he had a minor hard on. That seemed to perk him up, and he tried to move away but Chanyeol held his towel, if he tried to move he’d end up properly exposed.

 “Please… let go…”

 “Let go? Well you did say please and as much fun as it would be to play with you and have you make pretty noises, it’s not good for you right now, low blood and all that.”

       Hearing that relieved Sehun, he didn’t want to be violated in that way. Chanyeol helped him up and sat him down on the bed, drying off his hair first, then helping him slip into a fresh shirt. It strangely fit well, but Sehun didn’t linger on that much. Chanyeol was nice enough to let Sehun finish dressing himself, handing him a glass of red liquid when he finished.

 “Drink this, you’ll feel better.”

 “What is it?”

 “Drink it or I’ll force it down your throat.”

       Sehun took it and swallowed it as quickly as possible. It was warm and tasted pretty weird but he didn’t question it. The smell hit him moments after and he realized what he just had. He felt like throwing up but Chanyeol grabbed him, putting his hand over the boys mouth.

 “If you throw up you’re going to ruin my floor, besides, you’ll get used to the taste, crave it in fact.”

     He took some deep breaths, only being let go when he was calm. Chanyeol blindfolded him, and gagged him this time around. Sehun might have screamed for help if he could, but the other was two steps ahead of his escape plans. When he got his sight back he wasn’t surprised to find himself back in his little room.

 “Get some sleep, and don’t throw up, I’ll know if you do. Besides, you don’t want to lose that food now do you?”

     Chanyeol playfully patted his belly before kissing his forehead and leaving the room. Sehun laid back on his bed, his new reality finally settling in. His hopes of escaping were slipping away as he processed everything. He wasn’t happy where he was, but it’s not like he was any better off back at school. He whimpered, not sure of anything anymore, the only thing he did know was that he was tired and sleeping might help him figure something out.

[cupofsorrows]

A Conceptual Post About Pokémon as D&D Monsters

I know, I know, it’s been done before, but I’ve been having a lot of ideas about D&D lately and it occurred to me that it might be fun to try to adapt Pokemon to the standard dnd setting(s) - that is, not just copying them wholesale as in, “you open the dungeon door and see a pikachu” but taking the concept of the creature and placing it in your world as something that genuinely belonged there. Like, say, You confront your party with a large turtle-monster that sprays high-powered water jets as its primary mode of attack. It’s essentially a blastoise, but that isn’t what it’s called and it doesn’t necessarily have to follow the rules that an actual blastoise would in the pokemon games. I’ve seen pokemon stat block writeups before, but they’re usually pretty straightforward “this is a psyduck” type deals, and what I’m interested in is retooling the monster to fit in a different world (while keeping the core of it intact). What’s it called (if it has a different name)? Where does it come from in your world, and where does it live? If the original had evolutions, does this version? Lots of potential there. To that end, here are a few pokemon that I think have particularly interesting concepts:

Phantump: Honestly all of the ghost pokemon have interesting concepts but I didn’t want to have a disproportionate number of ghost-types so I chose this one. Core concept is a furtive little forest spirit that uses old tree stumps (or perhaps fallen logs) as surrogate bodies/protective shells. Canon lore says they’re supposedly the spirits of children who died in the forest, so take or leave that as you please. Now, none of these suggestions have to look exactly like their inspirations as long as they convey the idea - for instance I sort of imagine these guys as little humanoid figures made of gnarled wood, which also gives me distinct skull-kid-from-LoZ vibes (but maybe that should be a separate post...)

Heliolisk: I don’t really know what drew me to this critter in particular, except that ‘solar-powered lizard that can shoot electricity and stuff’ is just a good creature to put in a made-up world (probably in a desert region). It even has “-lisk” in its name, like the more infamous basilisk, so it already sounds like it SHOULD be a mythical creature. As I’m writing this I realize that it strongly resembles the already-in-dnd shocker lizard, but come on, this thing is way more badass. Also I was just reading about it on Bulbapedia and apparently it can run super-fast? so... that’s in there, too.

Snorlax or Slaking: Look I just like the concept of a big hairy beast that’s super strong but spends almost all of its time asleep. Not even sure that would affect its stats but it’s great flavor.

Zygarde: A host of tiny organisms - maybe even single-celled - which can come together to form larger gestalt creatures (most famously a massive serpent/worm, but even more powerful forms may be possible). Should be a very powerful, possibly unique, individual, since it is a legendary pokemon.

Dhelmise: Sentient algae that uses marine detritus as a ‘skeleton’? The ghost type delivers again! I imagine that before humans were responsible for so much stuff being in the ocean these must have used a lot of animal bones (and maybe some driftwood) instead.

Seismitoad: I think there are already frog monsters with sonic attacks, but that was only half of the appeal for me here, the other half being ‘large bipedal frog’. I hold this as being very different from bullywugs, grippli, or any other amphibian-based humanoids: While froglike, those are all still fundamentally types of people, whereas this beast is first and foremost a frog. A frog that walks upright and has opposable thumbs. This also works with poliwhirl/poliwrath and croagunk/toxicroak, but then the sonic/vibration stuff won this one out for me by a slim margin. (Addendum: I have come to the realization that seismitoad and croagunk don’t actually have opposable thumbs according to their artwork. Whatever, just fudge it.)

Tropius: This one’s just plain weird. Like, almost exeggcutor-level weird (dang, maybe I should have chosen exeggcutor instead. But tropius is less famously weird. Side note: what’s up with pokemon based on palmlike plants?) It’s part small sauropod dinosaur, part banana tree, and while I’m not sure whether it should be classified as a plant or not, I do know that it can definitely fly. Also, it produces delicious fruit you can eat!

Parasect: You probably figured I was going to mention this one. Everyone thinks of paras and parasect when they think of pokemon with weird but cool concepts. MY take is that the fungus could infest different types of giant vermin, perhaps making it the basis for a template. Or not; these are just suggestions. Do whatever.

Larvesta and Volcarona: Maybe I’m just on a kick from all the GKOTM fanart I’ve been seeing, but giant fire-spitting caterpillar + giant fiery moth adult seems like a creature idea worth exploring. Larvesta also takes longer to evolve than any other stage-one pokemon, which I see as representing a long time spent in larval form (or pupated), which in turn resembles kaiju’s long periods of ‘dormancy’, bringing us back to Mothra (as all things must). Also, I think larvesta/volcarona are the only bug/fire types in the whole series so far? That’s nuts to me but it just makes them even more special.

Abra: Honestly the way this guy looks is like 90% of the appeal for me here. Abra looks like an armadillo tried to evolve into a monkey and somehow ended up with psychic powers in the process. It levitates and teleports, and according to the lore it’s usually asleep but thanks to its psychic powers is still aware of its surroundings. That’s right, its eyes aren’t really narrow, they’re just closed all the time. Do any images of abra with its eyes open exist? If they do, are we prepared to see them? As always, don’t feel like you have to give any of these guys evolved forms just because they evolve in the games. I’m definitely not saying this here specifically because I like abra’s design more than its evolutions, no sir.

Pinsir or Heracross: Pretty much the same as with the toads a few entries above. Clearly not people, but just vaguely reminiscent enough to maybe be just a little unsettling. C’mon, I know they’re cute in the games and the show but tell me you wouldn’t be at least slightly perturbed if you saw a real-life beetle the size of a 10-year-old trundling around on two legs. Even if you thought it was rad as hell you’d still get out of there pretty quick if it started trundling towards you.

Slowpoke: Listen if you don’t get the appeal of a semi-aquatic, ambiguously mammalian quadruped that has psychic capabilities but is also comically oblivious to external stimuli then I just don’t know what to tell you.

Barbaracle: Colonial organism sort of like Zygarde, except the individual parts are bigger. It could even be modular, with the various ‘limbs’ combining in different ways, although that could also complicate the stat block.

Gothitelle: Conceptually I suppose this is just another humanoid psychic creature, but a while ago I saw someone point out how its frills and whatnot are sort of reminiscent of a sea slug, and damned if ‘anthropomorphic nudibranch’ doesn’t get my blood flowing.

Rapidash: Pretty simple, a unicorn variant/non-evil fire horse. Who wouldn’t want one of those?

Necrozma: I never actually played Sun and Moon 2, nor did I get too deep into the postgame ultra beast stuff in SuMo 1, so regrettably I missed out on a lot of the wonderful interdimensional weirdness. While each ultra beast is appealing in its own way, Necrozma is practically a Lovecraftian Great Old One already what with how it was once an interstellar being of heat and light but was somehow injured or depleted and has now become a completely different creature that travels from world to world absorbing all light. That’s a pretty raw concept for any story, let alone a cute kid’s game. And it’s always a plus when something can be cool and threatening while still being safe for a G rating! You could also do what SuMo2 did and take your heroes to a world that’s already had its light stolen by the beast, to explore how the inhabitants of that world have been affected as well as show what awaits the heroes’ world... or just as a nice change of scenery. Lastly there’s the possibility that Necrozma must ultimately be defeated not through violence, but by figuring out how to restore it to its original form. It isn’t too often that the cosmic monstrosity could actually use your help, and it might leave the PCs feeling like they really accomplished something epic. Alternately, it returning to its original form also makes a great homage to the multiple forms of every JRPG final boss ever, a trope that has been under-represented in D&D for TOO LONG.

...and that’s it, at least for now. Naturally, there are about a thousand other possibilities, including different ways of interpreting the examples I’ve provided here. I suppose they could also be used for purposes besides D&D, although if you’re going to put any of this in the fantasy novel you’ve been working on I suggest you be extra diligent in obfuscating the creatures’ actual origins so as to avoid a visit from any lawyers. I don’t know if anybody is actually even going to see this post at all, but if it does end up getting around, then I fully encourage all of you to put your own spins on this if you’re inspired to do so! I’d love to see what other people might come up with.

[randomnessunicorn-imagine]

✨ Djimmi the Great! & Child! Reader ✨

{ Hello, everyone! Here another request of AO3 (yes, I had so many). Even here the reader is a child. Actually, I find funny writing about child! Reader. Hope you will appreciate this story! }

❇️ Magical Friendship ❇️

Life was not easy for any human being, let alone a child.

This life did not frighten you, and you tried to extract the best out of every situation. Even if your worries were not comparable to those of an adult it did not mean you did not own your troubles. Be scolded for have not done your homework or crying because your parents did not want to buy you the new videogame you desired. These were your "problems”, but your parents were not so harsh, and they loved you a lot. Unluckily, they were not here now to comfort you but you were not afraid. You did not need anybody because you were a curious and courageous child. You have always dreamed of living an adventure. Perhaps this was the opportunity life has given you to experience the adventure you have craved for so long.

This place was enormous, mysterious and magical. Every creature that surrounded you was strange and fascinating. The same creatures you met in your dreams, maybe you were dreaming. The human mind generated the most bizarre images, and children’s minds created the craziest fantasies.

You did not know the name of this place and you named it as your "secret island". You were like the protagonists of a videogame and you could not wait to explore every centimetre of this place.

Everything seemed wonderful if you were not a lonely and lost child because you had no idea where you could go and do. You were starving and you had no place to go.

Days passed and perhaps this adventure was not as fun as you thought.

You tried to socialize with the locals, but they have denigrated and teased because you were a human being. You did not understand their behaviour. You ignored them and you went on your way. The only thing you wanted was a friend. Someone with whom you can talk and listen to your problems. No hero worked alone. You needed your shoulder, an assistant, a person that could guide you. You were still an inexperienced child and you could not go too far alone.

One day you were walking, your mind lost in distant thoughts. You were remembering your birthday one year ago. It would have been tomorrow and you would have spent it alone, it was sad. You remembered the day of your birthday with joy. Your cheerful friends surrounded you and sang "happy birthday to you", applauding and screaming your name. You were the star of that day and you could feel the affection of each of them embracing you. Your parents took pictures of you, laughed, and showered you with presents. Among all these gifts, there was also the videogame that you desired. You were the happiest child in the world.

The cake was delicious, the sky clear and blue and even the clouds that looked like cotton candy seemed content for you. Everything was perfect and you hoped that this birthday would be as wonderful as the past one. If you were not alone here. Of course, you could still have a happy birthday but it would not have been the same without your friends and parents.

Still distracted by your thoughts, you walked and walked without a specific destination. Until you stumbled into an object. You lost your balance and you fell on the cold ground but you were a strong child so you did not hurt yourself and you stood up promptly.  

A particular object, the object that made you fall, has caught your eye. It was a lamp. You have not noticed it before so you picked it up, analysing it. It seemed an ancient lamp and it was very dirty and scratched, it was golden and you were able to admire your reflection on its surface. This lamp was odd and peculiar. Since you were a child, you have not thought about the idea of selling it because it was made of gold and you had no money.

The most logical thing to do in this situation was to rub it. Everyone knew that these kinds of lamps were magical so the only solution was to rub it. You were a kid but you were not stupid.  An adult would have threw it away without even touch it or they would have sold it because adults had not that kind of imagination. They were so practical and they did not believe in magic. This place was so different from your home. Here, everything was possible. Logic and rationality made no sense here.

Without thinking twice, you took the golden lamp and you started cleaning it up with the bottom of your sweater. You rubbed with all your energy but nothing happened. You focused even more until your face became red because you were putting a lot of effort in it. Maybe it was useless and it was a normal lamp.

You did not give up and you believed in yourself and in your dreams. You could do it!

After that, the miracle happened and a bright light came out of the mysterious object and you were blinded and confused. A colourful smoke surrounded you but it was not a normal smoke and it smelled good. You found yourself covered in glitter and stardust and you laughed because it was something wonderful. When the glittering fog disappeared, you were able to see again and you noticed a strange figure in front of you. You were not a stupid child and you have already imagined who he was. Yes, you were a very clever and curious child.

It was the genie. The famous genie of the lamp and you were the lucky kid who has evocated him. You could not believe in such wonder.

The man was giant and luminous that you needed covering your eyes for not being blinded. You felt like a little ant compared to him but you were just a human child. Even the genie was surprised and he would have never believed a little human like you could evocate him.

The ancient legends said that these mystical creatures could be found only in special and enigmatic places called Dungeons that were situated in the middle of the desert. Only the bravest adventurers would be capable to find these extraordinary monuments and few were the ones who would be able to escape from their horrible traps and adversity because these were dangerous and nefarious places. You have not fought terrible monsters or won difficult challenges since you found this lamp by mistake.

It seemed that someone has thrown away his lamp and now the poor genie was confused but amused seeing his new owner. You were a real lucky and smart kid but maybe you deserved his help more than anyone else did. The genie’s smile went wide open.

“Who we got here?” he asked smirking.

You were paralyzed and it was a miracle if you have not already peed in your pants since you were still a kid so you could not contain your fear a lot. This man was still a magical giant and he could tear you to pieces with ease using one of his big hands.

Seeing you so scared, the genie laughed loudly holding his own belly because your fear was senseless and funny. You were his little master so he could not hurt you. It was the supreme rule. You have evocated him and now he was your loyal servant. No need to be afraid.

“Have no fear, little human. I won’t hurt you!” his smile got bigger as he talked. It seemed all his body became bigger or maybe it was only your sick imagination.

“I-I’m not afraid…” you did not seem very convincible and you did not believe in your own words.

“Your legs show otherwise.” The genie laughed, and he pointed his fat finger at you. Your legs were trembling as leaves during the cold winter. Then, your body got lighter and you started floating in the air like a helium balloon. Your moves were chaotic and you were about to fall but a mysterious force made you lift as if you were a real balloon. He laughed again. You understood he was such a pranker genie.

It was not a horrible feeling and you felt as light as a feather. You were flying free like a bird out of its cage and it was grand. You swam in the air laughing and screaming of joy. The magical man flew with you until the two of you reached the vast blue sky. The clouds welcomed you in their soft embrace.

An enormous splint appeared in his big hand and then he stabbed the clouds and they became sweet and delicious cotton candy.  Your eyes shined as he offered to you the big stick of cotton candy clouds and you accepted it with pleasure.  It was delightful and you have never eaten clouds. Of course, they really tasted like cotton candy.

“Hey, kiddo! You’ve not already told me your name!” then you remembered you were not alone and you were too distracted by the sweet clouds. You revealed your name and it was not a mystery anymore. The genie smiled at you even if he has never stopped smiling in his teasing way.

“Oh, nice to meet you, little master. My name is Djimmi. Djimmi the Great!” and then he exploded in a louder laugh and all the clouds around him evaporated suddenly.

“M-master?” you repeated and it was strange he called you master.

“Yes, you’re my new master, little one! Yes, it’s weird even for me. You are the littlest master I’ve ever had” and he laughed again as if he heard the most hilarious joke of his existence.

“Oh, golly! Really?!” you could not contain your enthusiasm and you started twirling around like a crazy acrobat in the air. If it was a dream, you did not want to wake up!

“Anyway, kiddo. How you got here?” asked the genie.

“Oh? I don’t know!” this is a question you have never asked to yourself until now, “Don’t you know why I am here?” you asked to him.

“Uhm, nope! We are just met…” he shook his shoulders.

“But you’re a genie. You should know everything!” you opened your arms still floating in the air.

“Ah, probably!” he snorted, “Knowing everything about everything would be very boring!” it appeared as an excuse but maybe he was right and life would be very grey if everything was granted.

“Yes, maybe you’re right! You nodded.

“Of course. I’m a genie, I’m always right!” and he laughed like crazy while the two of you were landing on the soft ground safe and sound.

“Hey! Now can I ask for my three wishes?” your eyes shined like two diamonds and your smile got wide. The genie found you so cute and you were a very exuberant child.

“Oh, kiddo! You go so far, eh? I suppose, times have changed” and he sighed.

Once people were more curious, they appeared terrified in front of his majestic figure, he was usually the one who had to explain rules and all, while this child already knew everything and you did not appear so scared. Yes, you were very scared at first but now you were so relaxed and enthusiast while an adult would still question himself about the logic of this surreal situation. Actually, Djimmi has known many humans in his career and they were weird but, most of all, they were all hungry for power and money. They just wanted to satisfy their greed and ego and at the end, they found themselves in the abyss of the loneliness and desperation.

While he was still lost in his thoughts, you were just observing him with curiosity and only the sound of the surrounding nature was audible.

Actually, you had no idea what you wanted to ask him and you did not want to waste this opportunity. You were a little confused but you could still have fun with your new friend. You were not alone, at least.

“What can I ask?” you had no idea about what you desired.

“Whatever you want, kiddo. But any question about love or death. They cause always trouble!” he said even if this was a rule you already knew. You were a cultured child and you have watched so many movies and cartoons so you knew everything about it. Hollywood could be very useful sometimes.

“Oh, no… Anything of it!” these things made you nervous. You were too young for love or for thinking about death. It was crazy!

“Oh, cool, kiddo! We can get along. That’s fine!” Djimmi nodded, crossing his arms on his big torso.

Your wishes were not so many. You wanted to live a great adventure with your friends and exploring every corner of this place. Since you were here, you have felt very alone and sad because nobody wanted to be your friend and this was awful. This was your first wish.

“I want to have a friend.” The genie looked at you with a confused expression.

“Is this your first wish?” he asked.

“Yes, it’s very important for me” your voice was low and you looked down. Djimmi smiled and his heart got softer.

“You don’t need magic for it. I mean, you can have all the friends you want.” He answered, confused.

“No, it’s not easy. Anyone wants to be my friend here. I’ve tried so much but it’s hard!” you sighed.

“Don’t be dumb, kiddo! You are very smart and funny! I don’t know you very well but I guess you’re even smarter than my ex masters that were very egocentric and weird…” and he did not remember his ex-masters with enthusiasm. Your smile still did not appear on your face.

“All the other children avoid me! They say I’m gross!” you kept your tears.

“Ah, it’s not true! You’re not gross! They’re very rude! Don’t listen to them, kiddo! Actually, you have a friend!” the genie smiled genuinely. This time his smile was not mocking or sinister but it was sincere and warm.

“Really?” you asked.

“Of course. It’s me! Djimmi the great. I may say the greatest is your friend. See? You have a friend and it’s even a genie. You can’t ask for better!” he winked and laughed and you laughed with him.

It was true and you were the one who found him so you could define yourself the luckiest child of the world. Your smile came back and Djimmi could not be more content seeing it.

“So you would go on the adventure with me!?” you asked with joy.

“Oh, of course! And where do we go?” the genie twirled around and he seemed more enthusiast than you were.

“Everywhere!” you clapped your hands jumping around him.

At the end, it was not so difficult to find a friend and it was already in front of you.

The two of you started a super adventure together and you had not even a time of boredom or sadness because everything was amazing. Even all the children who have mocked you were jealous of you because they did not have a genie as a friend but you were gentle and smart enough to forgive them. You became the leader of the kids and everyone gave you the respect and the friendship that you deserved.

[dokkaebiking]

I Am But a Humble Cryptid...

...but I was actually tagged to do a thing, and I’m very happy to have a pleasant distraction from all the bullshit that’s happening in the world/my life right now ♥

Tagged by: @joeys-piano rules: answer 30 questions and tag however many blogs you want!

name: Tavis (still haven’t been able to afford to make it my legal name, but it’s my name whether legal documents think so or not D:< Feel free to call me Tav!)

gender: Cryptid. No but really, what the fuck even is gender anymore? I’m transgender, in the nonbinary department, but it’s easier to just tell people I’m a man so I go with that as a default. More in the agender territory though, with masucline leanings, and my pronouns are he/him and they/them. Either or work.

star sign: Taurus, and I’m very much like my star sign. Just wants peace and comfort, sorta stubborn (over dumb things, usually), likes food, and I’m a big guy so I intimidate people by just existing. I could be staring into space and freak someone out, it’s weird...

height: 5′11″, or 180 cm. Does not help my case of “intimidating by doing absolutely nothing”, let me tell you...I’ve learned to capitalize on it, though, and work security these days ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

time: 6:36pm mountain time, currently.

birthday: April 22, 1989. I...am old (ᓀ ᓀ)

favorite band: Not sure I have one, really? The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, they’re pretty good. I’ll forever love Evanescence, fight me. And, hmmm, I dunno, Panic! At the Disco? That still counts as a band, right? Oh! Breaking Benjamin is amazing. Really, I tend to just like single albums, or a song or two, so bands in general aren’t favorites of mine, but I suppose the ones I mentioned are ones I’m fond of, at least.

favorite solo artists: GACKT, Daughtry, and, I dunno, the Me of several years ago, before I started T injections, who could hit those high notes that my cracking voice no longer can achieve  ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

last movie: GIVEN The Movie. WATCH IT. IT WAS SO GOOD. @ladyxxdaydream knows what I’m talking about!

when did I create this blog: 2013? Or maybe 2012? Around that time.

what i post: Shit like this, where I got tagged lmao. Also art and fanfic, but none of my work would really be considered popular in any of the fandoms I contribute to, so I don’t really see my work as even ‘posts’, and more like me just chucking things I occasionally make into the void.

last thing i googled: Fujiwara Keiji—cause I was watching “Devil and Realist” and heard his voice, and then got hit with emotions cause I had the faint recollection that something had happened to him, googled him, and yup I was reminded that he died last year. Talk about a punch to the gut, remembering that out of the blue (ಥ﹏ಥ)

other blogs: I technically don’t have any other blogs, but I’m a mod for @one-ace-man​ 

do I get asks?: Very rarely, but when I do it’s usually from a mutual whom I love and cherish them for humoring my want to fill out ask memes.

why I chose my url: A billion years ago I wanted to spite the antis in the OPM fandom who had it out for the Asexual fans in the fandom, so I took “Caped Baldy” and made it into “Caped Ace”, just to really rub it in. And basically say, “FUCK (ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ OFF”. I also really loved superheroes like Batman and such at the time (still do, but not as much), so it worked on another level for me. Now, neither of these things are really my focuses, but while I’ve been considering a name change for awhile, for the time being it sure has stuck around ☆～('▽^人)

following: 425

number of followers: 829, and hoping most of those are real people and not bots.

instruments: The only thing I ever got any training on, before life flipped me the bird and told me “fuck you, you don’t have the time or money to learn an instrument”, was the keyboard/piano. Always wanted to learn cello and/or violin, but again, no money for that. Drums was something I was very interested in and took a percussion class during middle school, but AGAIN, could never afford official lessons or the equipment so, right alongside everything else, I just never learned.

what am i wearing: Oversized pink hoodie that says “I’M TIRED” on it, surrounded by roses (it’s a mood, okay), and khaki joggers that make me look like a hobo but are at least comfortable.

dream job: An overnight security position in a cemetery/graveyard. Legit. Sign me the fuck up for that—I wanna walk patrol a dark, empty area that’s spooky as hell, and there’s no one alive around me that I’ll have to perform customer service to.

dream trip: I’ve wanted to go to Japan for a billions years, but also Ireland would be amazing, and any place with amazing temples/historical sites I could see and/or explore respectfully.

favorite foods: I love all kinds of curry. Japanese, Indian, Thai—if it’s curry I love it and will eat the fuck outta it. This one Thai place in Hillcrest (San Diego, CA) had the spiciest and most delicious curry, and they made these things called Curry Puffs, which I would sell a kidney right now for.

favorite song: This is an impossible question to answer ლ(ಠ_ಠ ლ)

nationality: Caucasian. White as fuck. Mayonnaise with a side of sour cream.

last book I read: If light/webnovels count, then Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint. I haven’t finished it yet, I’m milking it for as long as I can’t because I don’t want it to end, but god damn it’s so good...no wonder it’s loved by so many people in and outside Korea ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ Might re-read TCF for the third time, but the KR fandom’s shenanigans towards international fans on twitter lately has made me take a step back from TCF for the time being. SMPU (What Happens When the Second Male Lead Powers Up) is very quickly becoming a favorite of mine, even if the only way I can read it right now is on Ridibooks using Google Translate, which is...not ideal, but it’s better than nothing!

top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: Pokemon for sure. The Cat Returns (oh to live as a cat in the cat kingdom, and dance at the cat ball with the Baron, voiced by Cary Elwes  (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡). And any of those crazy universes that KR webnovels exist in, be it like SMPU’s world that’s from a romance novel, or Solo Leveling, which is the whacky ‘life became like a dungeon crawler game’ world. I might die in .002 seconds if I suddenly had game stats and monsters were everywhere, but it’s better than living in late-stage capitalism any day.

Tagging: @ladyxxdaydream @liveandletrain @guardiandae @jojoeatsflan @synasays and anyone else who wants to do it!

[xseedgames]

Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection Micro-bloggery Round-up

A very Zwei Q&A with editor Nick!

1) I've got a huge backlog of games. Why should I bump Zwei to the front of the queue?

It's been a great year in videogames - perhaps TOO great, if my own backlog stack is any indication, and I have no doubt that many (most?) of you are in the same boat. But every now and then, we'll get our hands on a game and it sort of effortlessly floats to the front of the queue, like it bought an expensive theme park pass. I'm under no illusion that Zwei will be "that game" for everyone, but for some of you, it might be! Let's look at a couple reasons why Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection might be just the game you've been looking for (but didn't realize it)!

First, it's got a great "medium" length. You won't be rolling the credits in 10 hours, but it's also not an 80+ hour bear where you just look at it and sigh and think, "I know I'll love this, but...when will I find the time to play it?" With Zwei: II's 30-ish hour average playtime, it offers a fulfilling action RPG experience you can sink your teeth into, but you won't need to cancel all your plans for the next month to make time for it.

Second, Zwei represents a heretofore-unknown prong of Falcom's action RPG legacy. Falcom is famous for Ys, an action RPG series that has spanned decades at this point, and other titles in a roughly similar vein, like Brandish and Xanadu - in fact, it's been joked that Falcom's "XYZ" is Xanadu, Ys, and Zwei. But unlike many of their other offerings, nothing from the Zwei series has ever been officially available outside Japan...until now. As Falcom's last/most recent PC-exclusive title (made in 2008), it straddles a fun line between old-school charm and modern conveniences and storytelling. It's the Falcom quality you know, but in a world distinctly different from their other games.

Third, Zwei is made to be easy to pick up and spend some time with without having to invest a ton of time in a sitting. Dungeons are generally broken up into discrete "branches," each of which can be undertaken on its own, with save points in between and the ability to fast-travel between any save point you've been to at least once. If you've got 30 minutes, you can get something done in Zwei. If you've got an hour, you can do even more! The game reflects modern sensibilities regarding variances in player engagement and time commitment, and that makes it really easy to pick up whenever you feel like playing.

If any of that piques your interest, I'd invite you to consider bumping Zwei to the front of your gaming queue.

2) I love Falcom stuff like Ys and Trails, but this one seems...a little bit different. How does it compare? Will I like it?

As a Falcom action RPG, Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection fits into a long legacy of storied games, and ultimately, as fans, we can't help but draw comparisons. But I think overall, these are helpful comparisons to make, because in doing so, you can see where a game like Zwei 2 fits into Falcom's growth as a developer over time.

The original Zwei was released in 2001. It's more of a straight dungeon-crawler than its sequel, The Ilvard Insurrection, is, but it featured the mechanic that would go on to be the series' calling card: two main characters, one specializing in melee attacks and one specializing in magic, who could be swapped between at any time with the tap of a button. However, Japanese fans would have to wait until 2008 to play the second game in the series.

Tom, our resident Falcom historian, slots the Zwei series into a gameplay lineage that also includes Gurumin (made in between the first and second Zwei games) and Nayuta no Kiseki (made after the second Zwei game). That separates it from the gameplay stylings of series like Ys or Xanadu, while still feeling pretty easy to get into for anyone who's played those games before. Visually, Gurumin probably has the most "Zwei DNA" of any of Falcom's other titles, as it features gameplay and even visuals that feel like they could easily have been part of a Zwei game.

The combat in Zwei is not as technical as in the Ys games - it takes more of a "big picture" approach, in the sense that often, your biggest advantages can be gained not in one's mastery of controls or precise techniques, but in when you choose to swap between characters to chain their actions, and how you position yourself within spaces and relative to the enemies. Personally, I feel like this lends a bit more of an "arcade beat-em-up" feel to Zwei's action RPG combat, so if that sounds like your kind of thing, well, get ready to grab your spoon and dig in.

3) I've heard Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection has an unusual leveling system. What can you tell me about macaroni gratin and the power it bestows?

Well, macaroni gratin is delicious, and anyone who says otherwise is a just lookin' to foment some dissent at the lunch tables. BRING IT.

...Er, what I mean to say is, the Zwei series' leveling system is one of its most unique aspects. Instead of getting EXP from killing monsters, you gain EXP from eating food. This same food serves double duty as the main consumable items you use to heal yourself when you take damage, and you'll get plenty of it as you go through the game. It might sound weird, but it works surprisingly well, and sets up some interesting scenarios. If you want to strongarm your way through dungeons, you can be more proactive about eating food to gain EXP and keep on par with or a little above each dungeon's recommended level (as displayed by a metal plate on the floor before every dungeon branch). If you want to give yourself more of a challenge, you can use food only when you need to heal, and treat the EXP you gain as a residual bonus.

You can even just decide to enforce minimal food-usage (or not at all) and see how low of a level you can go through the game with, if you want to give yourself a real challenge. The game doesn't have standard difficulty levels, but the way in which you use food sort of lets you scale the game's difficulty as you see fit.

In addition, the game's foods fit into four different "tiers," and you can trade in ten of any one type of food for one of the "evolution" of that food in the next tier, with the higher-tier food giving 150% more EXP than 10 of the food that came before. It might sound confusing, but it's really not. Here's a quick example. I've got ten plates of Pasta Carbonara. Each one heals 28 HP and gives 2250 EXP when consumed. But, if I take those ten plates of Pasta Carbonara and trade 'em in at the restaurant counter, I'll get one plate of delicious Macaroni Gratin, which heals 38 HP (not a huge upgrade there), but gives a whopping 33,750 EXP when consumed. As you go further in the game, upgrading is more about maximizing your EXP gain versus raw healing amounts. If more raw healing is what you want, though, it may be worth NOT trading food up, because those ten plates of Pasta Carbonara can heal 280 HP - somewhere between two and three full life bars of health at high levels!

4) Got any advice for players? Must see or do stuff?

My best advice for players is to really think about the different types of magic Alwen has and what they're good for. Some magic, like fire, is all about just blasting enemies and puttin' the hurt on them. Other types of magic are, on their face, a bit weaker: ice launches only single shots that have a more limited range, wind whips up a small tornado that sweeps forward - but when you think about all the tools at your disposal, and especially how you can position or lock down enemies (known colloquially as "crowd control"), options that aren't just MAXIMUM DAMAGE BAM RIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A FOLDING CHAIR really shine. In fact, if you decide to spelunk through the optional dungeon, you'll need these strategies, because brute forcing your way will only take you so far.

Another piece of advice is to take the time to actually talk to NPCs. I admit, it's a common thing to hear from a localization editor ("Please read this dialogue that I edited!"), but Zwei is a game with a very clear through-line, and if you want to, you can stay on that track, never really go places when it's not necessary to, and finish the game with little trouble. But to do so would be denying yourself the chance to learn more about the amusing people who populate the game's world. Taking a page from the Trails series, Zwei has NPCs who often change up what they say after both major and minor game events, and the NPCs have their own individual stories that develop as the game goes on. It's worth your while to poke around and visit people, because there are many unique conversation snippets in the game that only play when you talk to someone at a particular phase of the game, and often there will even be differences in the dialogue depending on whether Ragna or Alwen is active as your lead character.

5) Since you’re known for your puns, give us your best shot. Which ones are you most proud of?

Surprisingly, Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection isn't particularly full of puns! Zwei: II's style of humor leans much more toward pithy commentary and snarky asides, often made from one partner to the other in the middle of a conversation, or just "thought aloud." Cheekiness seems to be a popular personality trait in the land of Ilvard, as the townsfolk and even the animals (...if you can talk with the animals) get in on the action. Pokkle, one half of the first Zwei game's protagonist duo, is an inveterate punster, and while he does appear in this game in a cameo role, he's not firing off puns left and right here. However...you can choose him as an opponent in the game's battle arena, and if you select Ragna to fight him and win, upon being beaten, Pokkle will moan, "I just got Ragna-rocked!" It's voiced, too, so enjoy that!

Service Penguin says thanks for reading, and be sure to check out the official Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection site at: http://visitilvard.com/!

Zwei on STEAM!

Zwei on GOG!

[wishingfornever]

9/12/17 – No Contact:  Cheat Day?

I’m being bad.  I grabbed a popcorn ball.  Just one and I’ll be done with them.  They’re one of my favorite Halloween treats.  Halloween is my favorite holiday.  You know this.  I kind of missed it last year.  I was super disappointed. :/

There was something I wanted to talk about from yesterday but I can’t remember right now. So, instead, I’ll tell you about my… breakfast maybe?  Not that healthy.  A bunch of bellpeppers, tomato, and onions.  Cheese and ham too, so as I said… not that healthy.  Also, I added avocado.  I hate wasted food and avocado goes bad pretty fast.  So, I cut out the bad part and ate the rest.  I guess I’ll have another sandwich of the same style later on and also with a full avocado. I remember.  We through out that lemon meringue pie and the funnel cake.  My dad couldn’t finish it and I refused to touch it, so it was in the garbage.  Of which, I also through out the garbage cans. That means we’ll need to get new cans here.  Through out that tarp, through out everything.  Especially that lemon meringue pie and funnel cake. I hate wasted food.  I feel bad that I didn’t have any but I’d feel bad if I had even a slice.  I’m committing and I have to choose my guilt.  Right now, my guilt is ham and cheese with a side of popcorn ball.  :D Delicious, delicious guilt.

I’m feeling pretty awake so after I finish the popcorn ball I’ll get started on exercise.  Then maybe I’ll get back to my book.  I know you see what I post on Facebook.  I know you’ve seen my book cover. I hope you like it.  I like it but it feels sort of… unrelated. The other titles have actual historic stuff from the period on them. I’ll probably get sued for it too.  I think my favorite cover is Perdition.  It has the Osiria rose on it.

You know me, I’m a whore for that rose.  It’s my favorite.  I hope if I ever get super rich and you and I get a castle in Spain with a koi (sp?) fish pond that we could surround said koi fish pond with a bunch of Osiria rose bushes.  They’re so pretty…

Pretty hopeful, eh?  I MUST get a castle and you MUST be in it and there MUST be koi fish and there MUST be roses!  MUST MUST MUST!!!  That’d be ideal for me.  Not sure about you.  I mean, you’re the one who proposed the koi fish but I’m the one who imagines it surrounded by roses.  I need to look up how they survive the winter.

I also want to make a secret room.  You said you know how and I think it’d be super cool.  Maybe if I become an author and it makes us enough money to afford that little castle in Spain, we could have that secret bookshelf hold a lot of my books.  Then the one book I didn’t write will be the key to opening the door.  Might be a bit obvious, though.  That’s the problem with me.  I’d be too obvious for a secret.  Like, if I didn’t go with that idea I’d want to go with a pun or a witty response.  For example, it could be the book Common Sense that opens the door.

I think it’d have to be a boring book.  Or a book that’s not too obvious at least.  Like, it can’t be Twilight because if we’re entertaining a guest, they’d criticize us and grab it to further criticize us.  Then our sex dungeon would be revealed. What if we had three secret rooms?  One for you, one for me, and then one for the both of us? Like for you, you could have whatever you want.  For me, I’d probably have a bunch of airsoft guns or historic regalia (something nerdy like that).  Then the third could be the sex dungeon.  It’d be so cool to tell a friend before we go out, “It’s time to arm up...” and then open a hidden bookshelf to reveal an armory of toy guns. Yeah, I guess that’s why I’m not rich… because I’m not serious enough for my own good.  I look at making jokes, especially bad ones.

I have yet to eat this popcorn ball.  I’ve just been ranting about owning a fucking god damned castle this entire time.  Brb

I missed popcorn balls.  I hate how they’re only available during October.  Seasonal products piss me off, especially if they don’t HAVE to be seasonal.  I guess that’s one of the reasons I hate Christmas.  Then again, I never liked the Christmas songs… all that mirth.  Disgusting.  Thanksgiving I hated, too.  I hate all the holidays that are supposed to bring people together.  Holidays are just kind of a dumb tradition.

Despite this, I still wish people a merry Christmas.  I adhere to tradition because I’m dumb.

I really want a hidden door.  Doesn’t need a castle, just want that hidden door.  We could live in Nevada or someplace.  Somewhere with a house, obviously.  I just want that hidden door.  If you want to keep your door hidden from me, that’d be fine too.  And if we have children, we can hide all LEGITIMATE firearms (also known as real steel) in one of the hidden rooms.

One of my earliest memories.  I was a toddler.  I somehow found my dad’s revolver.  He left it there, in plane sight of a child.  Very dumb on his part and he admits it.  I was just a toddler so I was exploring and discovering everything.  I grabbed the revolver and held it in front of me and pulled the trigger.  It fired, the barrel came up and the front sight hit my forehead.  I started bleeding and I started crying.  It was a loud noise and my head hurt.  I don’t remember much beyond that.  There was a hole in the wall, though and I’m the reason. That’s something I don’t like about guns. They’re VERY not safe around children.  And I can guarantee that if my dad dies, I’m inheriting most of the guns.  Was supposed to be all, but whatever.  Doesn’t matter.  Thing with guns is that you need a place to put them.  Preferably unloaded.  Some pieces can stay out, like that flintlock rifle above the kitchen but for the most part, they shouldn’t be available for a quick grab. In the event of a home invasion, you can hide in one of the fake rooms and I’ll deal with it.  Most home invaders don’t have guns themselves, so I’d be alright.  I’m naturally bigger so any threat would be chased off.  Criminals aren’t brave and they don’t have to be.  They just want to grab what they can and get out.  They don’t want to hurt anyone but they will if they have to.  It’s desperation. Regardless, sometimes there might be a criminal who is bigger than me or has a chip on his shoulder or have a gun.  That’s why you’d hide in a secret room.  If we have kids, they’ll hide with you.  Thing is, I’d rather not expose them to the sex dungeon so early.  Call me old fashion, but let them discover that shit on the internet.

A secret door that leads to a panic room.  Maybe in that panic room, a bomb shelter.  That’d be super cool, no?  In the event of a nuclear holocaust, you might be fine.  Problem is you’d have to keep it stocked, so that’s pretty dumb.  :/

We could donate the canned food to charity before they expire.  Or we can try keeping dried food and water down there.  Idk, believe it or not I’m not really into the “prepper” thing.  Gas masks would be nice, too.  Problem is is that some gas mask filters use asbestos which is super unhealthy, especially old school Soviet gas masks which we may be getting.  Good news, though, they can work with modern gas masks too so it should be fine.  I don’t like the material some gas masks come in though.  Latex… yuck.  It feels uncomfortable around the face.  Makes you sweaty. And it could tear.  Not quality material.  We’d have to get gas masks that fit the face and I’d prefer if their material wasn’t shit. We’d see.  Probably super trivial but it’s nice to have in an emergency situation.  Or in case there is a super potent odor.  That’s something cool about gas masks; they kill odors so in case of bad smells, you can over come it with a gas mask. Hell, we should get one for doing kitty litter.  :D If you still do porn and we happen to get a house/castle/citadel/fortress that has a hidden sex dungeon, I imagine you’d set up a little studio in there.  Or if we have three hidden rooms you’d set up shop in your hidden room.  But if you make due with the sex dungeon being your cam room, then you’d have a hidden room all to yourself.  I wonder what you’d put in there. Especially if I’m not allowed in.  Probably would have your journals.  As you said, you never shown me the newest entries.  I doubt Haru.  Unless Fern the Husky just becomes too unbearable. That said, we’d probably spend nights down in the dungeon.  Especially if we have kids.  Children like to walk in on their parents having sex.  I never have, but I know others have.  Or we could… cough lock the door when we sleep.  That wouldn’t be so bad.  Except the little Stephen clone in my dreams would get SO excited and want to tell us something in the middle of the night and run in the middle of the night in pitch black hallways down to our room, try opening the door, and crash instead.  Then he’d cry. He would be our son… -,-

I feel so much better today than I did yesterday.  Most of this entry has been me fantasizing.  Only been an hour into the new day, too. I’m glad.  ^^

Maybe you’d have a closet in your hidden room. I think it’d be a super spiritual room that you’d sanction or whatever.  Buddhist writings on the wall, super zen and peaceful… I can see that being the thing.  And because it’s your peaceful energy room, I wouldn’t be allowed in it as to not corrupt your own energy that you’ve been manifesting or whatever. Yeah, I can see it. In my room it’d have airsoft guns, as I’ve said.  Probably real guns too.  I don’t want it to be an armory but that’s what it’s sounding like.  I also want to use it as a closet.  Not for normal clothes but for dumb little outfits like my hoplite panoply or a victorian era outfit and other things like that. It’d be where I geeked out.  Probably would have to be big because… most those things don’t stack very well.  I also don’t want to have too many airsoft guns.  Weird, right?  The thing is, some airsoft maps limit the FPS limit.  Some do 400 and others do 350.  350 tend to be close spaced maps in corridors and the like. Thus, I’d need a couple guns to replicate what I feel my playstyle would be and what the map would be like.  So, it’d depend. And even if I did fucking GORGE on all these airsoft guns, hopefully I’ll be able to afford it if I’m able to afford a house/castle/cathedral/pope hut with hidden rooms. Dreaming about a future I’ll probably never have is soothing.  Probably because you’re in it.  Or because I’m super materialistic despite being a communist.  ;) Alright, it’s time for me to start my sets.  I love you and I’ll message you when I’m done. <3

Just finished.  After my sets and when I started jogging, I was super tired.  Like exhausted, sweaty, out of breath, and my heart is pumping.  I started to jog and… well, I’m still sweaty and exhausted but I’ve gotten my second wind back.  I think I need to start jogging outside.  Except I can’t with my shoes right now. I’ll be going to Reno with my dad this friday and I’m supposed to get some shoes then.  That’d be nice.

I was thinking more about our secret rooms.  I was thinking if someone really wanted to get in, they’d throw all the books off the shelf until they found one that stuck and then pull that one to open the door.  Then I thought about putting a button where you push it and it unlocks and allows you to pull the book and open the door.  Problem with that, they’d just rip it off if they REALLY wanted to get in. So, what if the button were on the bookshelf itself?  Think about it.  If they couldn’t find a book that opened a bookshelf, then they’d conclude that maybe it’s a different bookshelf and move along.  Or if they knew it was that bookshelf, they’d have to rip the whole thing off.  And we wouldn’t have to worry about which book to use. :D That said, I think it’d be cool if the secret rooms connected and required both sides to be opened in order to be let in. That way, if you want to get to the sex dungeon from your sanctuary, I could let you in and we wouldn’t have to leave the basement. Thing is, we’d have to separate a basement. If we build a house from scratch, we’d have to invest in digging out the ground and just adding… so much.  It’d be super expensive.  :/ I also thought about having a gym in my armory.  Getting used to the idea that it’s basically an armory for toys and shit.  How nerdy is that, eh?  But if I had a gym in there, then I’d be a part of the armory too.  And because it’s just a room with historical crap and gym equipment, you can go in whenever you want too.  We could work out together.  You can spot me while sitting on my lap.  I’d get so buff so quickly. That said, after I get rid of this fucking skin condition, I want to get a tattoo on my upper back.  “This Machine Kills Fascists” except in Spanish.  Unfortunately, in order to be awesome and bad ass, I need to get somewhat buff at least.  And… also skin condition.  I know you still want to get a tattoo.  Don’t know what you want to get. Maybe my name. Kidding, I know you’d never get a name tattoo.  I remember you saying that.

So, I found a set of shorts that belongs to you.  I’m going to leave you a message that the next time I see Daniel, I’ll hand it to him and give it to you.  Might not have to message you.  Will probably wait until Friday to tell you or something.  Idk, I’ll think about it.  But it’s your shorts and you’d probably want them back.

Of which, I need a list of things you forgot at Adela’s.

Oh, it’s raining.  Maybe that’s why I’m feeling better.  Huh.  That explains a lot.

Current time, 8am.  It’s a sunny day.  Bit of smoke, but that’s alright. Got this wasp thing fucking with me.  Should really crush it.  I don’t like hurting animals and insects are animals.  Was hoping it’d fuck off.  I haven’t begun edits yet today.  Postponed some. ><

I’m going to get to it.  Soon, at least.