#leveling them up would increase energy for longer runs

[after-witch]

Alone in the Dark [Gojo x Reader]

Title: Alone in the Dark [Gojo x Reader]

Synopsis: You’re training alone and Gojo has some… ideas for how to improve on your training. 

Word Count: 6000ish

notes: noncon blowjob, noncon cunnilingus (done on reader), degradation/humiliation, some misogyny, mentions of reader childbearing, Gojo being a nasty creep

There was no place in the world of sorcerers for someone like you. You were too kind, too sweet--too soft.

That’s what everyone (or almost everyone) told you, almost for as long as you can remember. Yes, you can remember being a child and hearing adults tut-tut at the way you served others before yourself; at the way you made everyone stop so that a group of ducklings could cross the road; at the way you fretted over your brother when he came home black and blue and scratched-red from fighting curses. 

It was bad, they said, for you to focus so much on caring for others and not enough on developing the strong skills to do what is necessary. Even when what is necessary might not be what is just or kind or thoughtful.

If you were to lament about these frustrations to the average non-sorcerer, you imagine they might widen their eyes, put their hand to their heart, or maybe even rest a hand on your shoulder. You poor thing! They might say. How cruel.

Was it cruel? You weren’t sure. You didn’t have anything else to compare it with--this was how most generations-long sorcerer families raised their children. You had to excel, you had to be strong, there was no room for weakness.

Kindness, it seems, was a weakness.

But… maybe your sweet personality wasn’t a complete weakness. Because your family didn’t throw you out, as some families did with the weaker leaks in their formidable chains. Instead, they pivoted. 

If you weren’t going to be a stony-hearted sorcerer who could take down curses with their eyes closed (no pun intended, they would say, if they had a sense of humor) you would serve the family in another way.

You must still be strong, yes, but you could keep your tendency to dote and devote yourself to others if you were to take on another role: a wife. More than that--a mother. Marry a strong sorcerer, have lots of children, continue the line until your body could no longer stand having children. 

And so you grew up learning duties of a different kind. How to manage a household--from the servants you would be expected to order around to keeping track of linens and pantries; how to sew, because while servants would no doubt do any heavy lifting, you could at least be expected to fix your husband’s garments or embroider a family crest on them; how to dote in the right way, acquiescing to your husband while doing your best to maintain the honor and reputation of your old and new families. How to raise children--the right way, so they hopefully don’t end up like you, needing to be delicately placed into a niche. 

All this, while strengthening your jujutsu, while practicing harnessing your cursed energy, while knowing that you were not what your family wanted but you weren’t entirely useless, and you had to make the best of that. 

Now that you’re an adult of marriageable age, it’s only a matter of time before they find a suitable husband for you. He must be from one of the great families, of course. You were too important to marry off to some low-level sorcerer without a stellar reputation. Not only that, but marrying someone from a prominent family (a strong family) would increase the chances that your children would be strong.

Strong children--strong sorcerers. More sorcerers--more soldiers in the ongoing battle against curses.

And if you wanted to do your duty, then you needed to be strong enough to perform it. No sorcerer wanted a weak little thing for a wife, did they? Of course not.

That’s what brought you here, alone, isolated and tired but so damn determined to improve yourself. It was your idea to come here, which seemed to please your parents. Your cursed energy has been running a little too wild lately, seeping out of you, escaping in little trickles.

It’s your own fault. Admitting this also seemed to please your parents, though it made a low pit form in your stomach, and you didn’t dare divulge into why it was your fault that cursed energy was streaking out of you like a stubborn dripping faucet. 

You have too much self-doubt. You’re too worried about letting people down. You’re not confident enough, strong enough, and if you aren’t strong enough then you aren’t good enough regardless of how well you might perform on the wifely front in front of the increasingly judgemental matchmaker your parents brought in to monitor your progress.

But, no, you couldn’t say any of this to your parents. It’s not that they wouldn’t understand. It’s that they wouldn’t care. Self-doubt? No room for that here. Get rid of it. No confidence? How could you lack confidence, given your heritage? Change. No no, to be more precise, they would say: shut up, deal with it, then change. 

The only person you did explain any of this to was Satoru Gojo, a friend (or colleague? Or friend-colleague? Or colleague-friend? You were never entirely sure where you stood with him) who would at least listen without completely dismissing you. Not that he did much more than cluck at you condescendingly and offer to marry you--in jest--to get your folks off your back.

You’d laughed and swatted him in the shoulder (which he didn’t mind you doing, leading you to think friend-first-then-colleague is the more appropriate moniker) and asked him for advice.

Which is what has led you here to train, alone and hard. But training was meant to be hard, so you couldn’t complain. And training alone would give you the focus you needed to actually improve.

And you would improve. You had to--not just for your family but for yourself, and your future. The wife of a sorcerer (you tried not to think too far beyond that, to what your parents had been grooming you for: to become a matriarch in the continuing line of your family’s clan) still had to be strong enough not to let cursed energy seep from her so easily.

With the right training, you were going to get better. 

Right? 

Right.

--

This is what you needed: time alone. 

Because although you plan to be here for much longer, you can already tell that you’re sewing up those weaknesses within you, preventing cursed energy from sneaking out like it had been doing so readily for the past few months. 

Confidence was key, after all. Your family had never been wrong on that front. You just needed to get away from the stresses of life to regain that confidence. 

You sigh through your nose. The air down here is stale, but it’s not surprising. It’s not like there was anyone down here but you and the darkness and--

“Hey!” 

You and the darkness and… Gojo Satoru.

“How are your leaks?!” His voice rings out cheerfully in the empty space, almost echoing. 

For a moment, you fracture, and you can feel something trickle out of you. But you hold your breath and regain your senses, forcing yourself to regrip the focus you’d been maintaining for hours now.

Breathe in.

It’s just Gojo. 

Breathe out.

Coming to check on you. Which means he cares, in his own way, which is more than you can say for a lot of people. But you wish he’d told you that he intended on coming. It’s a bit jarring, and a whisper of embarrassment begins to build in your chest. He was, as he didn’t mind saying (it could not rightfully be called bragging)-- “the best.” 

You hear his footsteps before you see him in the dim lighting. His slow, aimless walk might have even seemed a bit creepy, if you weren’t already used to it. Or if he hadn’t called out beforehand. 

He grins when he comes into view, hands in the pockets of his trousers. He’s wearing his sunglasses today, his hair down and loose. He gives a short wave, and you bite back a sigh. You don’t want to stand up--you’re still training--so you merely straighten your back a little and wave back.

“Ah, Gojo. Have I really been down here that long?” You wonder if anyone in your family has bothered to wonder where you were or took the time to track you down. 

“Ah, Satoru,” he says, idly. “Oh, it’s only been a few hours.”

Just like that, there’s a sting in your chest. A few hours? Why would he check on you so early? Did he think you were that weak? Were you that weak? No--you shake the thought away, willing yourself to maintain focus, maintain the layer that keeps your cursed energy from releasing. 

No, he was just… concerned about you. This would be the first time you’ve done something like this, after all. And he was always telling you that he’d be happy to give you advice, and he didn’t have the same sarcastic twang in his voice reserved for people he didn’t care for. 

“So…” Gojo crouches down, getting close to your eye level. “You think you’re doing well?”

You let a smile show. A shy little smile, the kind you gave when you were feeling genuinely proud. Those smiles were few and far between when it came to your family, but you didn’t mind them in front of people like Gojo.

“Mm-hmm. I think coming here is helping me regain a sense of…”  Your eyebrows furrow as he stands up and begins walking around you in slow, lazy circles. “Purpose?” Your head follows him, but he doesn’t stop or acknowledge what he’s doing. “Or um, confidence.”

He stops only when he’s right in front of you, but instead of crouching he merely leans down and gets right up in your face, a smile with a hint of teeth showing. The proximity brings heat to your face, and you lean back. He follows your motion, blue eyes behind his glasses peering at you in an almost uncharacteristically serious manner.

After a few moments, he speaks--

“I’d like to conduct a test.”

You fidget in your seated position.

“A test?”

Your heart beats a little faster--one, two, three. But you’re not worried. It’s more like you can feel the first creepy-crawlies of self doubt making their way back up your spine. Why does Gojo want to test you? He’s smarter and stronger and there’s a reason he’s consulted so much on teaching others, so… so…

You swallow that “so” while you wait for him to answer.

He taps his chin in a dramatic way, and it makes you feel better. At least, until he starts talking and seemingly confirms those creepy-crawlies. Not intentionally, though--he wouldn’t do that.

“Yes, a test! A truly great jujutsu sorcerer must be able to maintain control in all situations, no?” He waves his hands around at the surrounding space, the emptiness except for you and him. “Not in isolation. You won’t be fighting curses in isolation, will you? You won’t be fighting curse users in isolation, will you?” He asks these last two questions slowly, kindly. It makes you feel younger and more stupid, and you make a note to talk to him later about that, since he wouldn’t knowingly hurt your feelings.

“I…” You lick your lips. You brought a case of water, but you haven’t yet opened it, and your mouth is dry. Too dry. But that’s not important. What’s important is that Gojo has presented you with a very realistic, all-too-true conundrum. 

You shake your head too slowly for your own liking. “No, I… I guess I won’t be.” 

“You guess?” He asks, voice taking on an almost sing-song tone at the end that plucks at one of your fraying nerves. 

Your heart pounds just a little harder, you feel a trickle of sweat on your forehead that you don’t wipe away. You force your breathing to even, your muscles to relax. 

“I won’t be,” you reaffirm, removing all traces of doubt in your face. “I know I won’t be.”

He already started the test, you think, he just didn’t tell you. You might be mad but you’re not, not really. It’s just like Gojo to pluck out your weaknesses so he can help you better them, isn’t it? That’s what he’s here for, what he’s always been here for. To help you improve. To help you. 

And you? You can do this. You were born and raised, literally, to do this. To be the best sorcerer you could be, and if you need someone like Gojo to help you, who were you to reject him? Nobody.

And so, when Gojo hums happily and plops himself down in front of you, crossing his legs to mimic your own position, you take a breath and remind yourself how lucky you are to have someone like him ready to help instead of quietly watching you fail, waiting for your downfall and wondering if it would help boost their own family’s status to knock you down a peg.

Gojo wouldn’t do that, not to you.

You take another breath, and Gojo stares at you, blinks--once, twice.

“Ready?”

You smile a little, sigh a little, and nod.

“Let’s do this.”

It takes your brain a few moments to process what happens, because it’s like there is a disconnect between your brain and your body and your soul and you don’t know how to tether them altogether again.

Gojo kisses you.

Not a chaste peck, either, but warm and wet, his tongue sliding over your lips; a slimy feeling you’ve never experienced before. 

You jerk back before you know you do it, your eyes wide, knuckles pressed to your mouth.

“What--G-Gojo--”

Gojo doesn’t move from his spot on the floor. He doesn’t even seem bothered by your reaction or anything at all.

“What’s the matter?” He asks, eyeing you through his glasses. He looks above you, around you. “You’re leaking again.”

Your chest seizes. He’s right--when he kissed you, what control you’ve been confidently rebuilding was completely lost. 

“I… I don’t understand how this is a test,” you get out. The words are slow and you feel stupid for saying them. 

“Oh!” Gojo grins, then. “Sorry. Guess I should have explained, huh? I bet you never had training like this. Ah…” He leans forward, leaning his elbow on his knee and resting his chin lazily on his hand. “You have to be able to control your cursed energy in any situation, right?”

He waits for you to nod, so you do.

“And curses or curse users don’t always play fair. They may do something you don’t expect.”

“They won’t kiss me,” you say, but as soon as you say it, Gojo’s expression makes you question yourself. “Will… they?” 

Gojo sighs, and moves to stand up.

“I guess I was wrong about you.”

Your chest hurts. 

“You aren’t ready for this type of training.” He’s almost talking to himself now, getting ready to stand. “Maybe in a few years. Or, ah, maybe your family would rather you get married and your husband can decide if he wants you to reach your full potential. Maybe they won’t care, if you have enough kids…”

You try to clamp down on a stream of energy steadily making its way out of you. It’s like soured milk, bitterness, self-doubt, all clawing their way up your spine and out of you. 

“Wait--” You reach for him and grip his sleeve. “I-I am ready, it’s just, I wasn’t expecting… that. I’m sorry. Please train me.” If Gojo won’t train you, won’t help you, then no one will. 

Gojo tilts his head at you, considering. Then he slowly sits back down.

“Ooo-ookay. But you have to let me do my job, okay? I know what I’m doing.” He pokes you above your chest, on a clavicle showing above your shirt. The touch makes you jump. Almost makes you forget the lingering warmth on your lips… almost. 

“Control your energy,” Gojo says casually. “No matter what, okay?”

You nod. And you wonder if he’ll kiss you again, but no, he’ll do something else. Try to attack you without warning or bring up something strange or maybe even try to dig under your skin with some sort of verbal spitfire. 

He doesn’t do any of that. 

Instead, he grips the bottom of your shirt and begins peeling it upwards with such quickness and strength that your arms go flying up with the fabric.

A noise escapes you, something like an undignified squawk, but you’re too unprepared and Gojo pulls the shirt up and over your head before you can protest or even try to stop him.

You do, however, regain your reaction time when your shirt is tossed to the side and quickly cross your arms over your bare chest. You didn’t even wear a bra, wanting to keep yourself to as few layers as possible, although it was more uncomfortable to go without because of your larger breasts. 

Your cheeks burn terribly hot and you don’t know what you want to say. You just know 

“S-Stop, this is, that is--this isn’t…” 

This isn’t training, is it? A kiss, okay, okay, that’s something Gojo might do to tease you. Even if he went too far. But your clothes? No, no, no--

Gojo doesn’t stop smiling. You want him to stop smiling, to apologize, and to leave. But you don’t get what you want. 

“This isn’t what?” He asks. There’s a stickiness to his voice that is like a filmy layer growing in your gut. 

He doesn’t wait for you to respond. Instead, he reaches out and grabs your wrists, pulling them down so you can’t keep them crossed over your chest. You gasp but he keeps them held down while he leers down at your bared breasts.

He’s faster than you, and his hands are underneath your breasts, pushing them up and jiggling them before you can blink. 

“These are pretty bouncy, huh?” He murmurs, to himself or maybe you, you’re not sure which would make you feel worse. Your face burns hot and your feeble attempts at batting his hands away get you nowhere. “But you’re always hiding them…” He continues to bounce your ample breasts up and down. 

You can’t take it. Your skin feels like it’s on fire and you’re being touched in a way you’ve never been touched, and it’s Gojo, he shouldn’t be, he couldn’t be, doing this.

“St-stop,” you spit out, finally getting the presence of mind to jerk your body away. Amidst the embarrassment and shock is a thready bit of indignity. You aren’t some… some floozy, you’re part of a highly respected sorcerer family. He can’t just--

“This--this isn’t training! You’re just being perv--”

He presses a finger to your lips, and you hush stupidly with it. He takes it away and regards you with an expression you’ve seen him use with particularly stubborn would-be sorcerers. 

“Aren’t I stronger than you?”

“Yes,” you say, helplessly. “But--”

Your hands go to cover your breast, and he bats them away. 

“Don’t I know more than you?”

“Yes, but--”

“Then let me help you,” he says, taking and squeezing your hands with such earnestness that it throws your mind off balance.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this,” you admit, voice mumbling and stumbling. Your eyes widen and you feel hot tears working their way to the corners of your eyes. He shouldn’t touch you… he shouldn’t! 

Gojo merely uses his grip on your hands to clap them together.

“But it’s working, isn’t it? The more distracted you are, the more likely you are to leak energy. And that’s bad, right?”

While he speaks, his fingers release yours, only to slither down to the waistband of your skirt. Your breath hitches.

“Y-Yes,” you mutter.

“What is it?” he asks, fingers latching onto your waistband and tugging it down. You squirm, but he persists. 

His question only dimly registers until he yanks down your skirt, pulling it down your seated legs.

“B-Bad?” You should tell him to stop. You should leave. But he’s… Gojo… and you’re just--

“And if you can control yourself, that’s…” He drawls out these words,, placing a finger on your clothed pussy and dragging it down the middle. 

“Good,” you squeak, voice tight and tinny. 

“Right.” He grins, all praises.

Your legs do kick then, and you try to scoot backwards, away, away, away. But he presses one hand down on your bare thigh, and you’re stuck.

“This isn’t training,” you plead, mouth opening and closing like a fish, shocked and stupid. 

He peers down at you from behind his glasses.

“You trust me, don’t you?”

Your heart lurches. It aches. 

“I d-d-do,” you spit out, jaw trembling as much as your body. “But…”

He gives your thigh a good squeeze.

“Th-th-then just let me do this for you, okay?”

The growing knot in your stomach twists and pulls terribly. 

“How is this for me?” 

He doesn’t answer at first. Instead he grips your inner thighs and pulls your legs apart. You’re aware, suddenly, of how physically strong he is--stronger than you, certainly, enough that what feeble attempts at struggling you’re still giving do nothing at all.

“I’m helping you,” he says, pulling out the word so that it’s almost a whine. “You help people all the time. I just want to return the favor. Now try to focus, okay?” As he speaks, he finally pulls at the waistband of your underwear, pulling it down your legs that have begun to feel like jelly.

“Wow.” He pulls his glasses down his nose and stares directly at your naked sex. “You have a really pretty pussy. I bet it tastes just as nice, huh?”

If your cheeks got any hotter, they might be on fire. Sweat beads at the back of your neck, your arms, your forehead. 

“D-Don’t,” you say, wishing you had the guts to shut your legs and leave. But you can’t, or you won’t, you’re not sure which. 

“Shhh,” he says, kneeling until he’s sprawled on the floor in between your legs. You couldn’t close them now if you had the strength. “Try to focus. That’s why I’m helping you train, right?” 

The teasing glint in his tone only makes you feel worse, but it’s nothing compared to the first puff of his breath you feel against your sex.

You make a sound almost like a squeak and Gojo lets out another puff of air, on purpose this time, murmuring something happily when you keep making those noises. 

“St--” You don’t get to finish the word before his mouth is on you, not bothering with any tentative licks but sloppily eating you out.

It’s an entirely foreign sensation, wet and warm, uncomfortable and strange. The fact that he keeps making positively lascivious noises only makes you feel more incapable of ignoring the reality. You shake your head and dig your nails into your palm, trying to process what’s happening as an uncomfortable heat builds between your legs. 

Before long, he pulls away, and there’s a sick sensation in your stomach when you see that his lips are glossy with... with… you. 

“You’re leaking down here,” he says, with the utmost of seriousness. “But I guess you can’t clamp down on that kind of leak, huh?” 

You press your lips together and refuse to acknowledge him with a response. 

He shrugs and goes back down between your legs, lapping at your clit with short licks of his tongue. The direct stimulation is different--tighter and more intense, and the sounds you can’t help but make are wholly undignified, short gasps and high-pitched grunts.

“Has anyone ever done this before?” He asks, pulling himself away by a fraction of an inch.

“Of course not!” Your cheeks burn at the audacity of the question. “I-I don’t, I’m not supposed to do… that before marriage.” Why you can’t seem to explicitly talk about sex to the man who is currently devouring your pussy, you don’t know. 

“Ohhhh,” he says. The words are practically spoken into your twitching clit. “That makes sense… well.”  He looks up at you, and flashes a smile. “Maybe we’ll get married. Can’t say I haven’t heard that rumor before.”

Before you can utter any sort of response, he leans forward and pushes you onto your back. With his body in between your legs, your legs fold over at the knee awkwardly, almost making it look like you’re displaying yourself for him.

“S-Satoru,” you say, voice hoarse, “I want to leave now.”

He shakes his head and holds up a finger.

“No way! We’re not done with training yet. Look at all that energy just seeping out of you. Tsk-tsk.” He puts the finger on his chin. “But don’t worry. I have another technique that should help… remember to focus!”

You don’t know exactly what he means until you watch warily as he lowers his finger and presses it against your wet entrance.

“No--”

But he doesn’t wait. He pushes his finger inside of you and your breath is taken away at the sudden intrusion. There’s pain and ache and the unusual foreign sensation of something inside you. You can’t help it, you clench around his finger and he coos appreciatively.

“I appreciate it,” he tells you, all honey, “but save that for my cock.”

“S-Satoru!” You whimper the words out, squirming, wiggling your legs in the air like it might actually stop him. You can feel cursed energy seeping out through you, like there’s a hole you can’t quite patch up. You fight between acknowledging what Satoru is doing--pushing his finger in and out now, sliding inside you, it hurts and feels weird but there’s a warmth, too--and keeping your cursed energy inside. 

“Don’t worry,” he teases. “Not today. Don’t got the time…” 

You squeeze your eyes shut, hating the hot tears that leak out, and stare up at the ceiling. Focus… focus… focus. You do focus, then, on keeping your energy from leaking out. Not because this is training--it’s not, you’re naive, not stupid--but because maybe it’s easier to bear all of this if you keep part of your mind elsewhere. 

“That’s it,” he praises. “Keep concentrating… gee, you’re doing great.” The snicker in his voice makes your stomach lurch. You wish he would stop pretending this was training. It only makes it worse. 

And then suddenly there’s another sensation of intrusion, and you look down to realize that he’s pushed another finger inside you.

“Hmm,” he muses. “You know, I wonder…” 

Your jaw trembles as he pushes his fingers in further and wiggles them around, almost like he’s feeling for something. And then--

You shriek, your body jolts upward, and you sit fully up and instinctively grab his wrists.

“That’s the spot!” He grins, laughing, and pulls his fingers out only to bat your hands away. Then he gently pushes you back down onto the ground. Your thighs are trembling and you can feel wetness trickling out of you, slow and uncomfortable.

“I bet you’ve never been able to reach this far with your little fingers. Don’t worry, I’ll help you…”

You push yourself up on your elbows and shake your head. 

“No… you,  you don’t have to. You don’t need to, I’m--”

He interrupts your pitiful pleads by pushing his fingers back inside, and your breath hitches at the sensation.

“’Course I do! Gotta teach you everything. What kind of sorcerer would I be if I left you in the dust?” He watches you intently over his glasses, the blue in them agonizingly beautiful, and he finds that spot again. 

But this time, he doesn't graze it in curiosity. Instead, he presses down and strokes it and it’s like an immediate shock to the system. A burst of almost painful pleasure, causing your legs to aimlessly kick and shudder without you controlling them and you let out a primal groan, not words exactly, just mumbled pleas. You feel something squirt out of you and hear Gojo’s surprised sound, a little pleased exclamation. 

He doesn’t stop, though, but keeps going. The white-hot pleasure is like being touched in all the right places in all the wrong ways, and you can’t stop your thighs from quaking. 

“Too much too much too much!” You get the words out, just barely, drool dribbling down your lips. 

Mercifully, he pulls his finger out. You can see him look down at them through his tears, and he tsks lightly. 

“You know, for such an innocent girl, you're soaking. Or is that why you’re so wet? Because I’m the first one to touch you?” He leans in and presses an almost chaste kiss to your lips. You can taste something on them, salty and almost earthy. Yourself. 

 “I hope I’m the last, too.”

When he pulls away, you eventually sit back up and, arms shaking, reach over for your underwear.

At this, Gojo tilts his head.

“What are you doing?”

It’s your turn to tilt your head, though you can’t tell if you’re mirroring him intentionally or not.

“My… clothes,” you say, slowly. “I’m putting them on.” Because this is over, right? He’s had his fun and you can leave and never talk to him again. 

“We’re not done yet, silly.” He grabs your underwear and shoves them into his pocket, then stands up and stretches his arms casually. 

You stare up at him, naked, warm wetness between your legs. Feeling dazed and spent and tired. 

You’re about to ask what he means when he simply unbuttons his pants and pulls them down, boxers and all, without a word or a warning.

He grins, like he’s just shown you a present. What he’s shown you is his erect cock, glistening at the end with a wetness of its own.  You’ve never actually seen a man naked before, a few photos in a pilfered naughty magazine that you snuck out of a friend’s house notwithstanding. It’s fleshy and slick, thick. 

“Now,” Gojo says, looking down at you in more ways than one. “Here’s the real test!”

His name comes out of your mouth pitifully, but he just pushes a finger to your lips and smiles.

“C’mon.  You’re sweet, aren’t you? Always helping everyone else. I helped you just now, so now you return the favor. Easy.” 

Your face screws up in a grimace. You can feel hot tears still pricking at your eyes, threatening to fall again. Then you look up at his face and down at his cock and then back at his face.

You’re not entirely ignorant of what he wants you to do--you just know that seeing a picture or reading about it in a spicy novel is far different than experiencing it for real. Especially like this. Especially with him.

“I don’t… I’ve never…” 

He pats the top of your head gently, but strangely, keeps his palm on the back of your head afterward. 

“I know, I know. But I’ll teach you. Besides,” and there’s that awful grin in this tone again, “it’s not enough to control your energy while things are being done to you. You have to control it while you do things to others, right?”

He shifts forward and his cock is right in front of your face. You can’t really look away. You can smell him, even, a musky smell. Not wholly unpleasant but like the taste on your lips from his own, there’s an earthiness to it. A primal sense.

You want to run. You should. Others would in this situation, wouldn’t they? But he’ll just bring you back, if you do. Or worse, let you go and… who knows what he might say to others? At least if you do what he wants, he can’t do anything worse than this. 

You hope.

“What do I do?” You whisper. 

He releases his grip on your head only to clap his hands twice. 

“There’s my girl! You’ve got the right spirit.” He beams down at you and you hate how the blue of his eye peeks through the top of his glasses and the way his smile should make you feel good, but only makes you squirm. 

He shifts forward again until his cock brushes up against your cheek. You gasp and lean backward, only to find that his hand is back against your head, keeping you in please.

“Open your mouth,” he says, almost sweetly. 

And you don’t want that thing on your face anymore so you do, opening just a little. 

“Wider. Like you’re at the dentist. Watch your teeth.”  He sounds more serious. Like he’s instructing you--and he is, isn’t he? you think, sickly.

You open wide, feeling stupid, feeling sick, as he guides his cock into your mouth. He lets out a sigh of appreciation as he pushes inside, and you instinctively make a muffled noise of protest--this isn’t right, this isn’t right. In front of you are his naked hips, the base of his cock, a smattering of pubic hair. 

The taste of him is vaguely salty and warm, but it’s the sensation of having something--having him--filling your mouth that makes you back your head up, wanting him out. But the hand on the back of your head keeps you in place, pushing. His cock hits the back of your throat and you gag. Tears stream down your cheeks from reflex and the realization of what’s happening. 

He snickers, but pulls back a little. 

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll be more gentle.” 

He begins to move, then. Slowly at first. You don’t do anything but keep your mouth open, keep your tongue pressed flat to avoid touching his cock, though you soon find this to be an impossible task. You can’t help but gag a little when he pushes, but at least he seems to be trying to avoid doing it on purpose. 

It’s a small mercy, you think, though what counts for “mercy” right now is highly debatable. 

Your cheeks are hot like fire as you begin to taste more of him, feel more of him. He’s inside you, all flesh and warmth, an extension of himself that he’s using to--to what? Tease you? Use you? Something else? 

He begins to move faster, and you gag, trying to mumble his name in plea around his cock. He groans and the hand on your head grips harder.

“Oh, fuck, don’t do that. I won’t be able to control myself.” 

You want to sob but you’re afraid of moving your mouth so much. The tears fall down your face, regardless. 

“Good girl, you’re being so good… you were born for this, weren’t you?” 

When you look up, Satoru is looking down at you the way you think someone might look at a nice collectible figurine. A precious item to be touched and dusted at whim.

“Born to be a good sorcerer’s wife,” he continues, and it’s almost as if he’s talking more to himself than to you. “That’s what we’re doing now, aren’t we? Practicing that? There’s all sorts of training for sorcerers, you know…” His thrusts begin to get less controlled, quicker. “Practicing controlling energy… controlling techniques… all those little nuances of life as a sorcerer. Like this.” The thrusts are so quick that you start making helpless noises around them, little grunts. “You’d be a good wife, m-maybe--” His breath hitches, the first time you’ve heard him lose control. “Even a good mother, after a while.”

You make a sound of protest--it’s the last thing you want to be thinking of right now--but he shushes you and starts thrusting sloppily, clearly lost in his thoughts. “You’ve even got nice big tits, don’t you? Perfect for breastfeeding or, fuck, holding onto while we fuck…” He sighs, languid. “I’ll try that next time, okay? Gotta be patient.”

His words seep into you like cursed energy, confusing (it is true, you were raised to be a wife, raised to have children,--but this?) and hurtful and twisting in your stomach.

Suddenly he pulls himself out of your mouth. Your lips make a wet plop and you open them to start to ask what he’s doing, but you don’t have the time to ask, because there’s suddenly something warm and thick all over your face. Something lands on your lashes and you blink, feeling a salty sting on your eye.

Your pussy clenches and you don’t know why.

As you sit there, shocked, dazed, you hear a click.

Oh.

He took a picture.

You wipe at your eye, cringing at the feeling of something wet and globby on your hands, and look at him with wide, teary eyes.

“Just for safekeeping,” he says, tucking the phone into his pocket. “Wouldn’t want this to get out, would you? Would definitely put a damper on your marriage prospects…”

There’s no reason you shouldn’t sob, now, without Gojo in your mouth. So you do.  Your face crumples and everything that just happened hits you all at once, until you’re weeping pitifully in front of him.

You’re dimly aware of him leaning down before he pulls out a handkerchief and wipes his cum off your face like he’s wiping at a bit of stubborn dirt. He wipes at your tears with his fingers, at least. 

“Don’t be so glum! You did great!” 

He presses a kiss to your cheek and straightens up. 

“I’ll be sure to tell your father about your improvements in cursed energy control. He’ll be happy, don’t you think?”

You don’t answer, because you don’t have words anymore. 

He leaves, his footsteps receding loud.  You don’t watch him go. Instead you sit there in the same position, naked, wet, feeling sticky and used. 

And like that, you’re alone again. 

You don’t try to dampen down the energy that leaks from you this time. 

[irisintheafterglow]

welcome back to coparenting megumi with satoru (megs' birthday edition! because it's basically winter and i wanna write more found family fluff)

you're well aware that megumi is not a normal child.

you're reminded of it on a daily basis when he tells you about the low-level curses he spotted around the corner while he and tsumiki walked home from school. you're reminded when either you or satoru immediately go to the corner where he saw the curse and exorcising every curse within a four mile radius. you're reminded when he sees a dog and immediately wants to summon his divine dogs, even though his cursed energy isn't at a level where he can activate it without being wiped out for the rest of the day. but mostly, you're reminded on his birthdays that he was not born and will never be normal. still, satoru makes it his mission to give the boy what he calls a "bangin' birthday."

the other kids in his class would have their parents bring in cupcakes or goodies on their special day; megs, however, would probably argue that the other kids aren't deserving of the sweets you brought. so, on his 7th birthday, he's in class for barely an hour before you sign him out at the front desk. his eyes stare out the back window at the passing cityscape and he sips on a smoothie you had waiting for him when he met you at the front office.

"i thought you had a mission?"

"i called in a few favors and got today off," you reply happily, smiling wider when his fingers automatically grab your pinky. as you pull into the driveway of his first surprise, the tiniest gasp of realization leaves him and you wink at him through the rearview mirror. "recognize that sound, megs?" he nods furiously, throwing off his seatbelt as soon as the car is parked with excitement you'd never seen from him before. the barking coming from the house you've pulled up to only increases in volume while he practically runs up the front path and, with no warning, two gigantic dogs burst into the front yard and into the arms of the birthday boy.

"they still know me!" he beams as the two dogs nudge his face with their foreheads, sticking their nose against his clothes and licking stray drops of smoothie. "look, they still like me!"

"i see, megs," you say with a melancholy twist in your chest. even though he was becoming better at summoning his own divine dogs, you knew he missed the ones that helped him break his mental block in the first place. like no time had passed, megumi herds the dogs back into the house and they dutifully follow. you shoot your friend a text, thanking her for letting you use her house and letting him see the dogs she adopted all those years ago. while she worked in her office upstairs, she very generously gave you the rest of the first floor to use for birthday festivities. festivities, you noticed, were much more decorated than you previously planned it to be.

while megumi slips his shoes off at the door, the dogs race over to a gigantic box in the center of the dining room, barking furiously at it like it was an intruder. it's wrapped in shimmering, bright blue paper that gives you a headache the longer you look at it and looks suspiciously large enough to hide a 6-foot-something idiot. you knew you raised megs right when he's also immediately suspicious of the package, eyeing it with distaste as if he already knew what (or who) was inside.

"i'm guessing from your face that you didn't put that there," he remarks and you shake your head in acknowledgment. "any idea what's in it?" you swear you can hear a stupid giggle from inside the cardboard and you stifle a laugh.

"don't know," you say with fake indifference. "maybe it's a present from the dogs."

"it'd probably be hard for them to wrap seeing as they don't have thumbs," he states blankly, still frowning at the obnoxious wrapping paper. "wanna just put it somewhere to get it out of the way?"

"sure," you start, an idea popping into your head and a sly grin working its way onto your face. "i guess...i'll just throw it in my domain for now-"

"surprise!" as if on cue, the top of the box breaks open to reveal your very panicked boyfriend who despised portaling into your domain. he's wearing ridiculously oversized party glasses with frames shaped like balloons and his clothes are covered in metallic confetti that sprinkles onto your friend's floors. the dogs break into another bark-fest and satoru shushes them urgently; you break into giggles and help him step out of the box. "where's my favorite birthday boy?"

"why were you in there?"

"it's called a surprise, megumi. people have them when they want to have fun," he quips and you click your tongue, picking a stray piece of confetti from his hair. he murmurs an apology under his breath, kissing your forehead like he wasn't in bed with you a few hours earlier. "hi, gorgeous."

"hey, handsome. your limbs alright after being stuck in there?"

"a little creaky, but i'll survive," he reassures you, stretching out his ridiculously lanky arms as an example. his hand gestures to the ungodly amount of streamers and balloons that were much more than you'd bought last week. "i did a little redecorating."

"i see that," you chuckle. "alright, megs. you ready for your next birthday activity?" he looks up from his spot on the floor, where he'd somehow convinced the dogs to lay on either side of him.

"there's more?"

"mhmm, and it involves some strawberries from the fridge. you wanna help me wash them?" he nods and walks over to the fridge with the dogs trailing behind him. "there should be a strainer already in the sink."

"you still think we'll be able to make it to the park?" satoru asks quietly, pulling you into his arms and watching the winter sky become more unfriendly. "i can protect us from the rain, but a storm would probably ruin the atmosphere we've got goin' here."

"i agree," you murmur. a glance at the mirror shows megumi standing on a stool in front of the sink, sneaking washed berries to the dogs. "though, i don't think he'd mind just staying here."

"i also agree. i can order some lunch and go pick it up while dessert bakes. i need to go grab tsumiki, anyway," he suggests. "she can help me pick out matching cozy sweaters for when we watch a movie."

"i think megs would rather die than wear a matching sweater with you, sweetheart."

"true," he concedes. "but i'll do that, then. need anything else while i'm out?"

"no, just for you to get back faster."

"i'll be here before you can even blink, beautiful."

"are we making me a birthday cake?" megumi calls from the kitchen, finally noticing the ingredients stacked neatly on the island counter. "and does that mean i can throw food at satoru?"

"if you can get him to turn off infinity, then sure," you reply. your boyfriend makes a face of betrayal and you stick your tongue out at him. "tell him it's for your birthday present."

"gojo, i know what i want for my birthday!"

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[my-rewrite-academia]

Quirk Analysis #1

As promised, this post is for the quirk analysis of the following three students!

Kirishima Eijirou, Ashido Mina, Hagakure Tooru will be discussed in this post and in that order.

Kirishima Eijirou:

Fatty and oily foods make Eijirou's skin harder, and Izuku hypothesises that it's due to the carbon content. While carbon is often associated with gases or coal, it's in food too, with the content being higher in oily or fatty foods. Eijirou manipulates the carbon in his skin by rearranging the carbon molecules to make it denser, to the point that his mohs level of hardness is equivalent to corrundum (level 9, one level below diamond).

Because of this, eating food containing high levels of carbon makes it so that there's more carbon to push between his skin cells.

While ordinary humans cannot properly digest high levels of carbon, Eijirou's body is able to, not just handle it, but properly digest it. As such, he starts eating activated charcoal, (which is safe to eat in small dosages, though Eijirou can have more), which increases his time limit, and can help him harden his entire body for longer periods of time.

It's also theorised that his teeth are sharp so that he can bite into coal.

Ashido Mina:

The most obvious contender for what her acid is made of is stomach acid, however, if she transported her stomach acid to her skin, it would make her either incredibly ill or she wouldn't be able to digest things, as she subconciously produces acid.

As such, it's much more likely that she's using carbon dioxide. It's usually pointed out as a gas, but it can exist in a liquid form. Carbon dioxide naturally exists in all humans, though typically as a gas that our body filters out through breathing. Mina is absorbing carbon dioxide as opposed to breathing it out and changing it to a liquid form.

She can alter the pH levels, though it's naturally low, around pH level 3, which leads to accidentally dissolving her bed and floor and waking up in the flat/apartment below. Don't ask. She can make the pH levels go up to about 7, which is safe to drink, though it's not recommended, and this allows her to use her acid to slip around the ground.

While she could theoretically try breathing less to increase carbon dioxide intake, but that's very dangerous without proper training. Instead, she takes sodium bicarbonate or sodium citrate pills, which increase the level of carbon dioxide in the body.

Her appearance is not connected to her quirk.

Hagakure Tooru:

Now, if Tooru were truly invisible, she would not be able to see, as the way we see is by light hitting our retinas, which bounces the light to the photoreceptors behind them which send the electrical signal to our brains. If the light passes through you, the light can't hit the retinas, meaning that no information would be sent to your brain, leaving you blind.

As such, reflecting light also cannot be her quirk, as this would lead to the same results, and would make her continuously shine.

Her quirk is actually absorbing and manipulating radiation across her skin. She doesn't feel hot or cold, as seen by her steaming lunch and how she can run around naked without a single shiver, and this is due to manipulating the thermal energy, which is a form of radiation.

Light is also a form of radiation, which is why she can produce flashes from her skin.

This could also mean that she cannot become irradiated by things such as chemical energy, though it's far too dangerous to test out.

Additionally, because of this, it's possible that she can manipulated energy across things made of her DNA, which is proven true when she gets her costume and appear invisible after she wears it.

...

So that's Izuku's analysis of Eijirou, Mina, and Tooru's quirks!

I'm not a master of science, so if there's something that doesn't seem quite right, chalk it up to psuedo-science, please. I did not take A-Levels for science. My knowledge comes from my own research, mainly due to Momo's quirk.

Thanks for tuning in!

[atsoraasayoma]

Is Homeostasis the True Villain? Or is she a grand architect in the battle for balance versus chaos?

Don’t let adventure influenced/partially possessed Hikari’s kind demeanor fool you. She is a powerhouse giving Digimon the intense power to surpass limits and digivolve such as wargreymon slicing up Machinedramon like an onion.

She is strangely absent in Zero Two but Gennai and the Digimon Sovereign act as agents in her stead. It seems the goal is, at the time for evil to be eradicated by the wishes of children and their power/energy for their Digimon to digivolve.

Sounds innocent enough, right?

Fast forward to Digimon Tri where she body snatches Himekawa messing her up in the process as she gives the order to sacrifice her partner.

Then to Hikari being possessed and controlled as well. (This is why you don’t answer unknown calls people).

When this happens all kind benevolent pretext is over. If you fail your part she will intervene. Whether reboot of the Digital World or the real one. Any threats to the Digital World must be contained.

She even taunts the Digidestined telling them that their teamwork has failed them this time. Perhaps she treats them coldly because they are no longer little kids with infinite potential but teenagers whose powers are there but limited. How limited?

Fast Forward to Kizuna. We learn from Gennai a Digidestined has an expiration date as a chosen child unless they can unlock new potential. Menoa is the personification of that Despair but Homeostasis does NOT intervene.

Why? Strange as it is I think she was going to use the data of the brainwashed kids to recreate Digimon and human partners without an expiration date. She recognized Menoa’s despair and allowed her the light of Digivolution from this newly synthetic Digimon with data based off her partner to take authority and fulfill her desire. And IF she succeeded Homeistasis would reap the results.

But, this failed. She lost the Digidestined that had done the most for her and those Digidestined were no longer necessary having expired.

So now where does she go from here? How can SHE protect the Digital World when all of her efforts only are leading to more work?

It’s simple and brilliant if not disturbing. Like many have said she used the suffering of Rui as a blueprint for Digidestined partners. This relationship would be a litmus test on just how far the power of wishing could save the Digital World.

We’ve seen it in 02 the final battle with MaloMyotismon and the epilogue. Everyone gets a Digimon (or at least a Digidestined’s powers to have a partner are hereditary even going as far as the TYPE of partner a Digidestined will have).

But I believe much like the reboot option this Ukkomon partnership is a failsafe. She studies and manipulates Rui’s situation of utter despair and loneliness. And this is before she uses the Original Digidestined. It’s a nuclear option for her in case she needs to use it.

The friends Ukkomon creates as justification for the Digidestined line are self fulfilling prophecies, creating problems, fixing them, and then the influence of those involved directly or indirectly with the conflict of those problems spawning new Chosen Children but not Digidestined.

These new Chosen Children are basic as we have never seen them go beyond the champion level. They are not of the particular kind of what qualifies as a Digidestined for they were not guided to solve conflicts directly. Merely indirectly chosen children would be used for their power of wishing and sheer numbers to defend the Digital World against threats.

But, years went by with little to no conflict. Aside from Menoa in Kizuna there was no ‘new’ threat although Chosen Children were increasing every year. Through their efforts Homeostasis indirectly through Ukkomon’s power of granting Rui’s wish activated that fail safe.

Everyone was supposed to get a partner. If everyone has a partner this would ensure there would be no running out of tools/chosen children to defend the Digital World. When they would die of old age the next Chosen Child would replace them.

That was the plan. That was Homeostasis’s goal. It was the harmony and the balance needed to stave off the continual threats to the Digital World.

But, that plan, that fail safe did NOT go through. The 02 Digidestined stopped her machinations. They foiled her grand design for perpetual protection.

And so, between now and the epilogue I believe she is in desperation mode. Why? Lurking in the background between Digital World narratives and the Digidestined I believe there is a threat unlike any other that DEMANDS every single human being to have a partner to stave off the viral Digital Threat.

If it’s so powerful Homeostasis actively manipulates generations JUST to get to this point I believe it is so severe sheer numbers will be needed or the power of their wishes.

Much like we saw with the birth of Omegamon the combined power of not just humans, but Chosen Children is necessary to defeat a foe so mighty it is the most powerful viral Digimon to ever exist. I would go so far to say it may be the SOURCE of all the viral Digimon much like how Apocalymon was the source of the original adventure antagonists.

In other words, with the Digidestined having completely shut down her last effort to save the Digital World she is going to have to no choice but rely on the 02 Digidestined.

The OGs are out except in a support role. The 02 Digidestined, specifically Takeru and Hikari will be greatly needed in order to unlock a savior Digimon to stop the ultimate threat.

Remember. all of the Digidestined except for Takeru and Hikari don’t have the full power of a crest. ONLY they do. Ken is questionable ? He never used it to Digivolve. The others have/had Digi eggs that used the passed on influences of the crests but not the crests directly themselves. Homeostasis will convince them somehow to unlock an ultimate power to eliminate the viral threat once and for all so both worlds will be in peace so the utopia Hikari imagined and Homeostasis strives for will be achieved.

I don’t know what this threat is but it will be life threatening on a genocidal scale.

It will involve the whole world and there are only a few Digidestined left (and thousands of foot soldiers) that can stand up to it.

It will be a grand climax felt through generations. It will somehow restore the OG Digidestined partnerships and lead us to an epilogue that may take on a more defined conclusion.

All of these events in the anime and the movies are pivot points linking to this one final threat where the fate of humanity and Digimon will be decided.

Let’s hope the 02 Digidestined are up for the challenge.

Because, after all their teamwork has never failed them. Their bond with their Digimon is as strong as ever. They are the unwritten exception to the rule and have more to give, and bonds that regardless of life’s circumstances will NEVER expire.

They are the 02 Crew. THEY are the Digidestined Homeostasis will have to go all in on. And THEY and their Digimon will be the catalysts to decide the fate of both worlds.

[pandorias-box]

//might have gotten a little carried away with this one but whatever :) @from-ultra-space //

You wake up on the floor of one of the large indoor training facilities and feel pieces of your equipment slide off your chest. Given the sounds of your partner yelling out commands from the other side of the room, you hadn’t slept through all of her practice. Frankly, you were surprised she was still goi- Suddenly a bright flash of purple light consumes your vision and startles you. You flinch and quickly sit up. An attack, an Ultra Beast, you have to move. You scramble against the wall and feel the sharp pain of a screw digging through your gloves. It shocks you enough to calm you down though, and realize it was just a Dragon Pulse from Stinger. There is nothing here to fear, Cassius has it all under control. Now, you should get back to reassembling your tools before another screw hurts someone.

Time passes and your equipment diagnostics finish up. You were proud of yourself for being able to tune out Ulva’s training while you worked, really. Perhaps by becoming more used to being around battling Ultra Beasts you could be cleared for a longer mission to Terra. Your last trip was… well you still weren't quite sure how to describe that world. The main surprise was the prevalence of pokemon in the people’s daily lives. You didn’t think that your aversion to these creatures would prevent you from going on missions there but you liked to be thorough, and it seems the only way for a thorough exploration of Terra was with the close company of pokemon. You would have to ask Osmund or Cassius if they could help you set up a training plan of some sort to help. Speaking of Cassius, you can hear her calling out to you… She’s yelling… “Move…” “Nori, move…” You look up to see Stinger flying full force towards you. The world seems to slow as you watch a Dragon Pulse charge in the beast’s mouth. Cassius is yelling at both of you now, screaming and running as fast as she can to try and grab you. But she doesn’t make it. There is a second of searing pain before you find yourself in a similar moment.

It’s your first mission. You check you readout and find that the energy levels have drastically increased. Osmund had just told everyone to head back, so why was she yelling at you to turn around? What did the readings mean? Then, the air in front of you splits in two and you know why. A massive Buzzwole claws itself into the world and locks its eyes and attenne in your direction. Osmund is running for you, trying to tackle you to protect you from what’s coming next… but she never reaches you. The beast slams into you with its full weight and you yell in pain before the scene changes again.

Now you walk down the enclosed hallways of URS headquarters. You’re talking with a few of the older members about the recent tests being done on the Ultra Beasts Zossie and Dulse had helped capture. It was a bit of trouble getting them into the HQ and calming them down but now you were free to study their behaviors without the fear of them trying to attack you. Zossie was someone you looked up to, both of you being younger than many of your peers, especially when you started. Then, the sound of banging echos down the halls. One of the Pheramosa had been let out somehow and seems distressed. It stops right before it reaches you and everyone else in your group takes a few steps back. You were shaking. It was unpredictable, too fast to read, too strong to stop. Still, you knew about UB behavior. You had to calm it down, you had to do something. It shatters your right arm before you even have a chance to move out of your defensive stance.

The pokemon center is quiet, not even Tod is talking. Your heart is racing. You shouldn’t have agreed to this. You know you should help her but there is so much you don’t know. You’re scared. Still, you look up and meet Pandoria’s eyes. The sight of her new features brings back memories. A voice screams in your head to do something while another yells back that she would never hurt you. You stumble as you try to take a step back. But while you’re off balance the decision to trust or to flee is made for you. The feeling of claws digging into your side is unmistakable.

You are young. Much too young. You don’t recognize this moment. You can’t get a good look at your surroundings and you can’t seem to move. You’re scared. Unbelievably scared. You run backwards, afraid not just of something but of what you’ve done. You trip just as a blinding wave of red light rushes at you. And as you fall you hear your name being screamed and instantly know that you won’t hit the ground. The darkness consumes you and all the pain rushes back. You have to run. An attack could come from anywhere at any moment. These creatures are unpredictable. Dangerous. Run.  Run.   Run.

NGHAH! Ghh…

It is was not real…it did not truly happen…you were not there. But, there was actually one with you there. Just in someone else’s perspective.

Why here? Why now? Just when I thought I would escape memories of constant anguish…

Some of the people in those visions…I know them… And I may know whose nightmares these are. Stars above…the pain. The fear. I knew he was afraid of Ultra Beasts and I knew that these fears have not yet subsided, but now I know why to an extent.

Nori…how could I be so blind to fail to see the plights of an ally?

[metaphoricallylotus]

airing my grievances

| aug 2nd, 2024

in trying to stay true to myself, i find myself (for a second day in a row!!) writing out my feelings onto this blog. i am tired of running and want to stick to obligations that i have made, for once in my life. what this looks like is precisely this: writing despite not feeling like it, which i am absolutely not on this fine friday evening. i am exhausted and so emotionally drained that 1. have a harder time expressing them due to fatigue and 2. kind of emotionally numb since i use numbness to protect myself when i feel overwhelmed. however, this technique is not healthy whatsoever. so what has happened today and what have i been stressed about? well i've had to go into the city (without giving out details, i live in a suburb and had to drive further inwards towards the city core to buy some furniture for my new apt as university season is coming closer and closer) to run some errands and the spending aspect of furnishing a place for university is stressing-me-the-fuck-out! more on that later. i've also felt many feelings of nostalgia today, which will also be discussed.

so, why does pursuing an education have to be so stressful? money money money MONEY! the monetary aspect of life, especially in regards to renting out a place + sorting out things related to this have been stressing me out to the point where i have had really bad diarrhea and wake up at 7am in the morning and cannot sleep any longer due to my anxiety, despite still feeling rather physically tired. i am not in a terrible financial place, by any means of course. i am rather privileged in terms of capital. however, i have a rational/irrational (i have not been able to figure out if it is rational or not as i am still confused on how i truly understand the value of money) fear of going broke while pursuing my studies. i am worried that i will become homeless (not that i carry any stigma towards homeless individuals. the system is simply broken and we as a society really do not invest in these individuals as a whole. and don't even get me started on the factors that contribute to this). a question for me regarding this would be: so if you are so worried about being broke, why don't you just live at home with your parents while pursuing your education? well, i just don't think i could do it. commuting has various negative impacts on health and as someone who suffers from anxiety and really bad depression, i simply do not have any more energy to deal with the consequences associated with this (increased likelihood of development certain physical health conditions and the overall negative impact commuting would have on my energy levels + mood). i need a lot of time to recuperate and practice self care. this really cannot be done on any sort of public transportation, especially during a trip that would easily take 2+ hours. yes, this sounds like a "privileged" person problem but i do believe that if i were to commute, it would eventually result in me dropping out of university. on top of that, i really cannot live with my parents anymore. i need to break free as them as they are having a (negative) profound impact on me. i fear that if i live with them any longer, i will never be able to truly recover from the damage taken. the damage? two emotionally unavailable adults that judge me on everything that i do and i simply cannot take it anymore. in being emotionally unavailable, they cannot express their feelings properly. i am expected to comfort them, despite them never reciprocating this and even if they did, a daughter should not have to play this role. uncontrollable emotional outbursts ranging from expressions of annoyance to anything to white hot anger. they are codependent on me, from tech issues to directions to providing them with emotional support. i am tired of taking care of everyone but no one taking care of me. the worst thing is that they are completely unaware of the fact that 1. they are acting this extreme and 2. that it is deeply affecting me. and yes, i have tried to have conversations re: this but i don't get through to them. either this case of denial is intentional or unintentional. either way, it's rather frustrating. i also do not want to be in a relationship (platonic or not) where my major role of mine is to try to fix the other person! this is a useless and exhausting effort! save your energy by saving yourself! some may think that this comes off as selfish as "if you truly cared, you would try to change them no matter how many tries it takes." maybe so, but most of the time, trying to change someone simply does not work, especially if they do not want to or simply have an inability to change. at this point, you can only focus on yourself and do what is best for you. for me, this means putting a lot more distance between me and my parents and in the process, learning + undoing unhealthy behaviours and creating healthy ones instead. i believe at this point that this can only be done if i am on my own. through living long enough on this earth, i find that i am easily swayed by others emotions. i unconsciously mimic the mood of the room, even if it does not align with my actual morals on how should i react

continued in comments^ -------------->

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[sweetescapeartist]

ANIME vs MANGA: How Strong Is Android 17?

Many fans often claim that Android 17 is at the same level of power as SSB. This is both TRUE and FALSE at the same time. How so? Because it depends on which continuity you are referring to.

TLDR; DBS Anime 17 IS NOT as strong as SSB. DBS Manga 17 IS ALMOST as strong as SSB.

DBS ANIME CONTINUITY 📺

# 17 was shown to be much weaker than SSB Goku, SSB Vegeta, Golden Freeza, and Ultimate Gohan during the ToP. #17's power appears to be in the same realm of power as Piccolo, but stronger. #17 likely reached a level of power above SSJ3, but below SSG. One reason being, Android 17 is impressed by the power of a battle worn Golden Freeza & Jiren.

Unlike characters who can transform, #17's advantage in the ToP was not soley strength based. #17's number one advantage was his infinite energy. He could fight at 100% at all times & never tire.

For comparison sake, I bring up Krillin because he is one of 2 non-Saiyan allies who has a 1-on-1 sparring match against SSB Goku. Their match aids in explaining #17's power level.

Certain DB fans conveniently forget that Goku likes to test out his opponents. He will use weaker SSJ forms against a stronger opponent just to gauge their power. Similarly, Goku went from base to SSJ then to SSB against his teammates just to see what they would do against such an opponent like himself.

KRILLIN vs SSB GOKU - #18 mentions that Krillin was depleted on ki from his match with Gohan, then Krillin depleted more of his ki when he almost knock Goku out of bounds twice, then an already tired Krillin had a beam struggle against SSB. Despite being low on energy, Krillin gave everything he had to push back SSB Goku's suppressed Kamehameha, causing Goku to use a bit more energy when testing out a tired Krillin.

ANDROID 17 vs SSB GOKU - Although he never tires & never runs out of energy, #17 also had to increase his own power when sparring against a suppressed SSB Goku (#17 is yelling too in this gif, but his arm is covering his mouth).

At times, DB characters yell to raise their ki a bit higher. Sometimes they are just slightly raising their ki level with a shout, other times they are going all out. In the case of SSB Goku vs Krillin & Android 17, Goku yelled in both instances, but he was far from his full power. Krillin's yell indicated that he was giving everything he had. 17's yell indicated that he was exerting more power, but he still had some reserved power to spare. Yelling doesn't always indicate 100%.

The facts are this... We are told & shown that the already super strong Android 17 has gotten far stronger than he was in DBZ. We are also shown & told that DBS Krillin has also gotten far stronger than what he was in DBZ. Neither of the brothers are of SSB level. #17 is obviously stronger than Krillin, but since Android 17 also has infinite stamina, he can compete with a suppressed SSB Goku for a longer period of time than what Krillin can. So, in the Tournament of Power, when fighters like Goku, Vegeta, Golden Freeza, & Gohan run low on ki from intense battles, at some point, #17 can keep up with them in regards to power. At least that's how it is for the DBS Anime Continuity.

DBS MANGA CONTINUITY 📕

In the DBS manga continuity, #17 is said that be almost as strong as SSB Goku & SSB Vegeta. Somehow... from barely training... #17's almost on their level...

Well, that's Toyotaro's writing for ya.

(Don't bring up the Pseudo Cell Jrs. because those are just bonus pages that are similar to a what-if story. The words Toyotaro used are even "perhaps" "if so" & "maybe" which reveals those pages are simply a what-if idea by Toyotaro. Link where I explain it here.)

This is Toyotaro believing the Tournament of Power was ONLY about strength. Which is why he quickly got rid of non Saiyan characters like Krillin & Tien. Meanwhile, with the DBS anime, series director Ryōta Nakamura understood that Toriyama wanted these different characters for a reason other than soley strength & he made use of their unique skill set & fighting styles. (Link to full interview here.)

But, this isn't the only time power levels differed in the DBS anime & DBS manga during the ToP.

Anime Krillin >> Manga Krillin

Anime Tien > Manga Tien

Anime Roshi << Manga Roshi (randomly stronger)

Anime Piccolo ≥ Manga Piccolo

Anime No. 18 > Manga No. 18

Anime No. 17 < Manga No. 17

Anime Gohan ≤ Manga Gohan (randomly stronger)

Anime Vegeta ≥ Manga Vegeta

Anime SSBE Vegeta << Manga SSBE Vegeta

Anime Freeza > Manga Freeza

Anime Goku > Manga Goku

Anime MUI Goku > Manga MUI Goku

Anime Jiren >> Manga Jiren

Anime Toppo >> Manga Toppo

Anime Dyspo > Manga Dyspo

Anime Anilaza >> Manga Anilaza

Anime Kale < Manga Kale

Anime Saonel & Pilina >>> Manga Saonel & Pilina

Just some observations I thought would help clear things up regarding power levels between the DBS anime & manga continuties. I don't do the numeric stuff like power scalers. A numeric scale became obsolete after the Freeza Saga & turned into a guessing game aside from guidebooks telling us that SSJ is 50× base, SSJ2 is 100× base, & SSJ3 is 400× base. But, in DBS, god ki is immeasurable by a numeric scale & base power levels for Saiyans and non-Saiyan characters has increased since DBZ.

[brainyxbat]

Chapter 4: Are You Happy? The Doctor Called Witch!

(episode 81)

"Please help my friend. Please call a doctor."

"I haven't told you my name yet. I'm the captain of the security squad of this island."

"Dalton?"

"There's only one doctor here, and she lives in the castle on the mountain."

"Why in the heck would she live someplace like that?"

"I'm counting on you, Captain."

"I can't believe it! Like captain, like navigator!"

"All right then, let's go, before Nami dies."

"What?! Don't say things that could jinx us!"

"Guys!"

"So these're Lapins?!"

"Whoa... Wapol-sama."

"What!"

"We've finally returned... to our home, Drum Island!"

-

"Ahh," Luffy stared in awe. Everyone was silent otherwise, as the giant creatures loomed over them, their red eyes almost glowing. "Nami?"

"Nami-san!"

"We have to..." She panted, "Hurry to Alabasta."

"Never mind that, just rest," Luffy urged, "Don't worry about anything right now."

"Your health comes first," Venus added.

Sanji couldn't help but smirk. "When her own life is at risk..." He held a hand up. "Nami-san, hang in there just a little longer. We have to go to that castle where the doctor lives." He glared at the pack before them. "Get out of our way, you damn bunnies!"

"We're in a hurry!" Venus yelled.

One of them tilted its head. "They're coming!" Luffy alerted.

"Yeah!" It inched closer through the snow. "Listen, Luffy!"

"Hm?"

"Don't you dare fight."

"Why not?"

Venus turned to him with concern. "If you do, Nami will get impacted just as much as you!"

"She'll die," Sanji finished grimly.

"What?!" Luffy stopped her from slipping down, as the Lapins let out screeching roars. "O-okay! I won't fight!" He panicked when one of them leaped in his direction. "B-but what do I do?!" He jumped away, being careful.

"Just dodge!" Sanji ordered through kicking them away.

"Keep dodging, and run!" Venus added, as she blasted energy balls at them.

"But don't retreat!"

"That's hard!" Luffy griped, but complied.

"Flanchet Shoot!" He launched one back with a single kick, but it wasn't enough. "Dammit! In this snow, I can't kick properly!"

The Lapins stared down at their battered friend, before they all leaped into action; literally. "They're all attacking at once!" Venus exclaimed.

"Go into the forest! Both of you!" Sanji ordered. "I'll cover your backs!"

"Okay!" Luffy agreed through sprinting, as Venus trudged behind him quickly as she could.

Grabbing the captain's hat, Sanji followed them upon noticing they were going the wrong way. "Go left! We'll head to the mountain!"

"Got it!"

"We'll shake them off somehow! It'd take us until night to finish fighting them! These snow mountain animals really are tough! We're at a disadvantage." To his exasperation, Luffy fought off one of the Lapins. "Don't!" He scolded, kicking it away. "Idiot! We told you not to attack! Just leave them to me!"

"Sorry..."

"This isn't a joke!" He stopped, as Venus blasted one away.

"Sanji, Venus!" Luffy stopped at a cliffside. "We can go up from here!"

"Yeah!" She ran to join him.

"Good! Go on ahead!" The cook urged.

A Lapin jumped in to attack, but they both used it to their advantage. "Heave-ho!" Luffy and Sanji, the latter holding Venus close, used it as leverage to jump up on the cliff to safety. As they gazed down at them, Luffy started taunting them with his tongue out. "They're coming!"

"You don't need to egg them on!" Sanji scolded, as they leaped up to their level. "Anyway, run! To the top of the mountain!"

-

In the village, the wind's increase in strength was evident. "It's getting strong," Usopp remarked, before his mind wandered. 'Venus-chan... I hope you're alright. With Luffy and Sanji, you're in good hands.'

'Nami-san, please be okay,' Vivi prayed to herself.

Dalton looked at them silently for a moment. "Who in the world are you guys?"

"Who are we?" Usopp asked in confusion.

"It's too reckless for just the 7 of you to travel in the Grand Line without a doctor."

"We're pirates," Usopp reminded, "That's why you guys pointed guns at us, right? Well, we may be a small group, but as long as I, Brave Warrior of the Sea, am with them, there's no need to worry."

"I see."

"But it's true that we do want a doctor," He added, "I was hoping to find someone like that on this island, but I didn't expect that there was only one doctor, a witch living in that castle."

"It's a strange combination," Dalton admitted, "It seems that you guys're different from the pirates that we think of."

"Dalton-san!" A female voice made Usopp tense up. "Dalton-san!"

"Gotta bow," Usopp quickly did so, mistaking her for a Hiking Bear.

"Oh, hi."

"I heard that you're looking for Dr. Kureha?"

"Yes, that's right, but the sick person has already-"

"I heard that she's in our neighboring town, Cocoaweed, right now."

The three stared for a few, tense seconds, before shouting in displeasure. "What?!"

"Then they passed each other?!" Usopp exclaimed, his voice echoing.

Before long, Dalton was driving a ram-powered sled through the snowy woods, with Usopp and Vivi onboard. "I'm sorry. It was my mistake." That gained their attention. "Since I heard that the doctor came down the mountain yesterday, I thought she wouldn't come down for a while."

"Don't worry," Usopp assured, "It's not your fault. The issue here is Luffy and Sanji's abnormal physical strength. Even if we go after them in the snow mountain now, we probably won't be able to catch up with them. If the witch is in the town called Cocoaweed, we should ask her to go back to the castle immediately." He sat back in the seat.

"Yes, you're right," Vivi agreed, "We have no other choice."

"Forgive us," Dalton requested.

"What?"

"Forgive this country that doesn't even have enough doctors."

"N-no," Vivi stammered, "It's not something you should apologize for."

"She's right."

Dalton was silent for a while, as the sled was pulled along the trail. "Let's hurry!"

"I hope we make it in time," Vivi remarked worriedly, gripping the seat.

"Say, that girl you were with," Dalton brought up through the sled's quick speed, "Short height, green hair? She's an actual witch, isn't she?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Vivi asked.

"I picked that up from how she spoke about them," He replied, "And how eager she is to meet the doctor, after how I described her. I just hope she won't be too disappointed." He then glanced back at Usopp. "And you; you seem to care very deeply about her."

"H-huh?!" He blushed; and not from the cold. How'd he know that?!

Vivi couldn't help, but snicker at the flustered sniper. "Everyone knows; that is, except her."

"Just d-don't tell her!"

"Your secret's safe with me. She can't help your friend herself?"

"No, she doesn't have any healing spells," Usopp replied.

"I see."

-

"It's ice cold!" A now shirtless Zoro shivered, standing in the freezing, knee-deep water outside the Going Merry without his shoes. "My body is going numb; it's like I'm trapped in ice!" He chuckled to himself. "Seems like I've still got a long way to go. If I suppress myself, even fire should be cool, and ice should be lukewarm." He turned to Karoo, who was wrapped in a warm blanket. "Hey, Karoo! Come along with me! This is an ideal way to strengthen your inexperienced body!"

He frantically shook his head in refusal, but when he opened his eyes, he was gone! In a panic, he leaped overboard.

"I didn't expect to see this many fish," Zoro remarked, "I guess I'll go for another dip." With that, he swam away, oblivious to the duck's actions.

-

"Are they coming?" Luffy asked.

"No, they aren't," Sanji replied.

"All right! Looks like we lost them."

"No... not yet."

"Hm?" Sure enough, they were back, looming over a hill. "They're persistent!" But to everyone's confusion, instead of attacking them again, the Lapins started hopping up and down in place. "What're they doing? Are they irritated 'cause they're hungry?"

"No... hold on a sec." Sanji's eyes widened in horror. "Don't tell me, they're...!" His cigarette dropped from his mouth.

"Uh oh," Venus muttered.

-

"You..." Usopp hesitated to change the subject, "Who are you? You don't look like an ordinary villager. The way you speak... sounds to me like someone from the military."

"I was... a subordinate of... the ex-king, Wapol."

"What?!"

"I was the captain of this country's security squad since the previous king. However, when the king died, and his son Wapol became the king, this country changed." He recalled how Wapol decided to exile every doctor from the country, and make a certain amount work under him, and him alone, christening them as the "Twenty MDs".

"Then those who became sick had no choice, but to ask for Wapol's mercy in order to see the Twenty MDs?" Usopp asked.

"Yes, and pay excessive medical fees."

Vivi glared with anger. "It's the same as ruling the country by taking the citizens' lives hostage. That's not governing! It's a crime."

Dalton glanced back at her, noticing how passionate she felt about the situation. 'Just as I thought, there's no mistake.'

-

Little did they know, Dr. Kureha was passing by them on the other side of the trees, in the opposite direction. "Ahhh, dammit!" Zoro shivered on the same trail. "I got carried away, and swam too long! Where am I? Where's the ship?" He glanced around cluelessly. "Geez, I can't tell where I am with all this snow!" When he looked ahead, he was surprised to see a sleigh stopped in front of him, pulled by a single reindeer. For a moment, he and the woman sitting aboard stared between one another. "Ahhh! I'm saved!" He began approaching the sleigh, now relieved. "Hey, old lady! Sorry to bother you, but will you take me to the nearby village? Huh?" As she didn't respond, he looked her over in confusion; more specifically, her wardrobe choice. "What're you doing, showing your belly in this damn cold weather? What a weird, old lady..." She silently gestured for him to come closer, prompting him to lean in.

"Be careful what you say." She suddenly sent him flying with one kick. "I'm still in my youthful 130s!" With that, she and the reindeer continued their trek. "Let's go, Chopper. We don't have time to bother with a weirdo."

"Wait, you hag!" An angry Zoro shouted after her. "What the hell was that stupid old hag's problem?!" He shivered at a freezing wind billowing at him. "Whoa, it's cold. Damn!" He griped. "I'll be in trouble if I don't do anything. I guess I'll do muscle training or something to warm my body up for now."

-

Meanwhile, a certain pirate group arrived at the harbor. "We're here!" Wapol cheered. "We've finally returned to my country, the Drum Kingdom!"

"Humph," Chess the Jester scoffed at the carnage they caused during their entrance, "Having watchmen as if they're a military."

"What on Earth were they thinking, shooting at us?" Afro Man glared.

"Hm?" Wapol looked ahead at the mountains. "Oh, my dear Drum Island! Great nature that towers majestically! Chess, is the castle all right?"

He looked through binoculars. "Yes, sir. It's in good shape, just as we left it, Wapol-sama."

He laughed evilly, now riding a furry hippo. "Then on to the castle! Let's go back to the castle! I'm done being a pirate! I'm going back to being a king! Now, go forth, Robson!" To his confusion, as the rest of the group marched on, the creature didn't move a muscle. "Huh? Hey, Robson! What're you just standing here for?! Now, get moving already!"

"Wapol-sama! There's a problem!"

"What's the matter?"

"The ship... of the pirates from the other day is at the riverbank!"

"What?! Those bastards! Why are those Straw Hats in my country?! How dare they just come waltzing in here, when they said they didn't know! Does he realize what I had to go through after that?! Hey! Go over there, and kill them all already!"

"Well, actually, the ship is empty!"

"What?!"

"We don't know where they went!"

"Do you wanna be executed?!"

"I'm sorry, Wapol-sama," Chess apologized.

"Please forgive this clumsy subordinate," Afro Man added.

"Hmm... Chess, Kuromarimo."

"The two of us inspected the footprints coming out from the ship," Chess informed.

"It looks like they headed to Big Horn," Afro Man, or Kuromarimo, concluded the report.

"I see," Wapol grinned evilly, "You guys're geniuses. Then we'll first fire a salute in Big Horn to celebrate the restoration of the Drum Kingdom!"

-

"What?!" Usopp exclaimed later. "What did you say?! They've already left this town?! And just a moment ago? For crying out loud!" He griped.

Vivi was talking with a young boy just cured by the doctor they sought. "She healed my sickness earlier."

-

Just earlier that day, the same boy was crying at the top of his lungs, from an unknown cause. And it was getting on people's nerves in a local restaurant. "Hey, owner! We've had enough already!" A patron complained. "Your kid's voice is so loud, that I can't stand it!"

"Ah, I'm sorry." The owner, also the boy's father, knelt down in front of him. "Hey, Tamachibi, what's wrong? Does it hurt somewhere?" The only answer he got was more wailing. "If you just keep crying, I won't know what's wrong. You're disturbing customers." The continued crying made his patience dwindle, as someone outside stopped at the door. "Tamachibi! Say something! If you don't stop crying, I'll lock you out!"

"It's the witch!" A man muttered.

"Shh! She can hear you!"

"Scary... she's with that creepy monster again." A reindeer with a blue nose, and a pink hat bearing a white X approached her.

The woman's icy stare shut everyone up, before she heard the commotion inside. "Hey! That's enough!"

"Well, well," She petted the reindeer's back, "What a mean father. If a child keeps crying, he's signaling that something's wrong with his body." She laughed like a classic witch. "Stay there, Chopper." She punched right through the door, scaring everyone inside, except the sobbing kid. "Sorry to interrupt."

"Doctor..."

"Are you kids happy?"

The patrons jumped back in fear. "Dr. Kureha!"

"My secret to staying young?"

"No! We didn't ask that!"

"I still can't believe she's a 140-year-old hag," One of the men remarked.

She threw a fork in his direction, narrowly missing his head. "I'm still 139!" She then turned to the boy. "Shall I make it better?"

"Hm?! Make what better?" The owner held his son closely. "He isn't sick, or anything."

"Are you... a doctor?" She then turned back to the door. "Well then, shall we go, Chopper?" They began to leave, when the father panicked.

"Wait!"

Once the boy was laying down on a table, the reindeer set a bowl on a chair nearby, while Kureha had her toolbag ready. "My hands... hurt."

"Your hands, huh? Let's see. Then how about now?" She pressed her thumb into one of his shins, making his back arch in pain.

"My leg hurts!"

"See? You forgot that your hands hurt, right?"

"What'd you do?!" The owner exclaimed angrily.

"Are you happy? You're happy? Good! Be good, and quiet."

"Hey!"

"Don't yell. I just touched his leg lightly. I heard a terrible noise." She pulled his snow pants off for a better look; his left thigh had a large, purple welt. "He's got pain in his hands, and legs. He doesn't seem to have a fever, but the swelling on his leg is due to purulent inflammation. It's pretty bad. The bone has been infected. Chopper, give me antibiotics."

"Doctor," The father approached her, as the reindeer obliged, "Will my son be-"

"The key to cure this disease is the initial treatment. Don't worry; he'll be cured, although he almost died." She twirled her scalpel.

"What?! Almost died?!"

"I'm going to do a little operation on you, so be patient."

The boy screamed in terror. "Hey, can't you at least use anesthesia?"

"Here is the shot." The reindeer simply knocked him out with one whack to the head.

"Don't be reckless!" The father shouted.

Before long, she was done. "Well then, since my medicine works well, this is it for the treatment. All you have to do, is make sure he rests well, and keep his legs bandaged tight."

He caught a roll of bandages flicked at him. "Yeah."

"Once you immobilize his legs, cool them well. Got that?" There was some silence. "About the fee, well... I'm almost out of trash bags, and toilet paper. Also all the plum wine, and the food you have; and... I'll take 50% of this restaurant's assets."

"What?!"

"Chopper, take them to our sled."

"Wha-?! Hey, that's outrageous! Half of the assets?!"

"Hey, owner! Don't be fooled! It's a rip-off!"

"It must be!"

"He almost died?!"

"Wasn't he really crying, because he fell?!"

"How dare you abuse your position as a doctor!"

"He's right!"

"You're a terrible person!"

All the patrons banded together. "Don't take advantage of people's weakness, you witch!"

At that, the reindeer started growling with anger. "Stop it, Chopper. It's just the blabbering of a bunch of kids."

"Old lady..." The boy started waking up, "I feel a lot better." He smiled weakly. "Thank you!"

Everyone gawked in awe, as she grinned widely. "Oh...? I got a good tip. I'll reduce the fee to 49%."

The owner staggered to his feet. "I'll pay you. Thank you." He bowed respectfully, as she walked out.

She stopped just outside the door. "Ahh... hey, kid."

"Hm?"

"Don't forget... the happiness you feel right now, okay?"

He smiled again. "Okay!"

-

"Are you looking for the doctor, Dalton-san?"

"We've got an urgent case," He replied, "Do you know where she went?"

"If you're looking for Dr. Kureha, someone said she headed to Gyasta," A random bystander said.

"Gyasta?"

"Where is it?" Usopp asked.

"With Big Horn being in the middle, it's in the other direction from this town."

"We passed each other too?!" He exclaimed.

"It's a town where ice skating is popular."

"Well it's got nothing to do with this."

"Oh..."

"And we didn't ask either!"

"Calm down, Usopp-san!"

"Yes, ma'am," He complied.

"In any case, let's head there," Vivi decided, "Now that we've come this far, we haven't a moment to lose."

"Yeah, you're right," Usopp agreed.

"Dalton-san!" A bloody, battered man burst into the room. "There you are."

"Aren't you supposed to stand watch today?" When he started to collapse, Dalton rushed over to catch him. "What's the matter?! What's going on? How did you get injured so badly?!"

"All the watchmen, except me," He panted, "Were killed."

"What?!"

"Suddenly... a submarine sailboat appeared... and they killed everyone!"

"Who do you mean by "they?"" Dalton asked. "Calm down, and explain."

"Dalton-san! Help! We're not strong enough. If we don't do anything."

"What's going on?" Usopp wondered aloud.

"So it's them?" Dalton glared.

"It's Wapol! Wapol came back!"

The patrons were now scared. "What did he just say?!"

"Wapol?!"

"Is that true?!"

The sniper and princess were taken by surprise when he suddenly bolted out the door. "Hey! Dalton-san!" Usopp called out.

He began riding on a fast horse through the woods, now furious. 'I'll settle this!' He started to turn into his Devil Fruit Zoan form. 'I don't intend to bring about justice, since you and I are both equally guilty!' He leaped off the horse, and ran on his own. 'Just wait, Wapol!'

-

On the mountain, the three gaped in horror at the Lapins pounding the ground. "Those damn bunnies... have really done it!"

"This can't be happening," Venus muttered.

"Hey, guys," Luffy turned to them, "What's the matter? What the heck is going on?"

"Hey... we're gonna run, Luffy," Sanji replied.

"What? Run? Where to?"

"Doesn't matter where! Someplace far!"

"Why?"

"AVALANCHE!!!" Venus screamed.

[thanks--for--listening]

an eternity of almost

the post-guardians nebula and rocket friendship fic is finally here! this does have SPOILERS for guardians 3 so be warned. also for fic purposes, let's all pretend there was at least one night in between the final battle and That final conversation.

(also on ao3)

~~

The restlessness had yet to subside. Hours had passed since the battle, but Nebula could still feel the electric current running through her veins, lingering longer than it should. Its continued presence was illogical and infuriating and entirely expected. But it was beginning to drive her to madness. 

None of the others seemed to be affected. They’d dispersed quickly, adrenaline fading at the appropriate time. One by one, she’d watched the energy drain from their eyes, resigned to delay tasks until the morning as they made their way back to their respective quarters. They, like everybody else who populated Knowhere, required rest.

Nebula did not. It had been years since she’d held that same level of mortality. Something inside her forced her body to outlast its predetermined limits. She couldn’t remember which enhancement had done it, only that her increased endurance had never won her any battles — it had only trapped her in moments like this. 

She tried to keep herself occupied. To think of everything that had to get done, everything that required too much of her focus to let her mind drift. Lodging for the animals. Homes for the children. Repairs to most of the town. The list went on and on, but with the rest of Knowhere succumbing to their collective exhaustion, she was running out of practical distractions. 

It was how she’d ended up here, with the only ones who, like her, had yet to tire: the kids. She’d compiled as many blankets and beds as they could manage, but from her perch in the doorway, she noticed those supplies had been disregarded in favor of games she couldn’t follow and conversations she didn’t understand. 

She should have left. Surely somewhere on this planet, something was needed from her — her strength for a repair, or her arm to override malfunctioning software. The damage from the past few days had been extensive, and she suspected it had not been properly dealt with. Nothing seemed to be properly dealt with lately if she didn’t oversee the process. Working alone, she’d still be more productive than most of the civilians. It was simple math: she shouldn’t have stayed. These kids didn’t need her.

But here she sat. Watching instead of working. 

Curiosity was to blame. She just didn’t understand it. Their laughter. It was baffling. These were children who had grown up in cages, who were abused at the expense of a scientist who never cared for them, who were created out of some sick need for perfection and then abandoned as if they’d never even mattered. They’d suffered. Witnessed atrocities she was certain they would hardly be able to describe, let alone forget. And yet, despite their circumstance and their strange surroundings, their isolation and near loneliness in language, they never lost their smiles. 

It wasn’t that she wanted them to be upset; she simply didn’t understand how it was possible to find joy so quickly. 

“There you are.” Rocket’s voice broke through her rumination as he took a seat next to her. “How’d you get stuck on babysitting duty?”

“I volunteered.” 

Any of the others may have laughed at her, or questioned her sanity, or even her motives, but Rocket just shrugged. “Who's got next shift?”

“Me.” Unlike everyone else, she didn’t want sleep to come. She didn’t want to see what it would bring. 

“Nebula—“

“You all need rest. I don’t. And apparently, neither do they.”

“Yeah,” Rocket sighed. “These guys don’t seem to be getting the memo, either.” He nodded down, and it was then that she noticed the four faces peeking out from inside his pockets. 

It was instantaneous. The wires connecting, her eyes seeing one image and associating it with another. It didn’t matter how much she longed to burn the memory away — her wretched mind would never let her forget. 

She did her best to bury it. To keep her expression neutral and her thoughts her own. The last thing he needed was to know what she’d seen. What she’d always see. 

“You’re never going to believe this.” Nebula forced her eyes to meet his. “When I found them, there was a sign on the cage. Turns out I…I am a raccoon.”

“That’s not surprising. You’ve been told that many times.”

“Yeah, whatever. But did you know I’m from Quill’s fucking planet?”

That made her eyes go wide. Rocket laughed, and she could hear the forcefulness in it, but it was laughter, and it was his. That was good enough. 

“All the time we spent down there, and no one on that shithole ever told me.”

“They were probably too stupid to figure it out. It would be like expecting a newborn to do calculus. Those idiots hardly knew other planets existed.”

“Dumb as rocks. Good music, though.”

Nebula hummed in agreement. They hadn’t spent a ton of time on Earth — preventing the galaxy from combusting had kept them busy enough. Neither of them did it out of some sense of honor or innate goodness. They weren’t heroes; they simply had nothing better to do. 

They’d made a good team, though. Prior to Thanos, she hadn’t given any of the so-called Guardians much thought, so expectations had been drastically low. But Rocket had surprised her. She’d known he was smart, but she learned he was funny, too. Sarcastic and witty, constantly sneaking jokes into places they didn’t belong. 

He never made fun of her when she missed one. She wasn’t sure she had the words to tell him how much that meant to her.  

It had been his idea to try and do what they’d already been doing. To travel through space, solving problems using shades of gray. To answer calls from humans who wanted updates on parts of the galaxy they could hardly even fathom. To call themselves Guardians. It was Rocket who’d given her the title; she’d yet to feel like she’d properly earned it.

They’d settled into a routine rather quickly. She hadn’t had one of those since her childhood training sessions, and even then, her father had made sure to never allow her to get comfortable. But despite the effort it took to avoid lingering on the empty seats in the ship, or the desperation in the calls they received those first few years, she grew almost fond of the pattern they fell into. Hell, she even started looking forward to their check-ins with Earth. 

It would have been a lie, however, to say she’d maintained hope. Nebula had accepted early on that those who were gone would never return. Even when they got the call, when the plan fell into place and the math argued in their favor, she’d still spent most of her time waiting for it to fail. It wasn’t until they made it back to Morag that she’d allowed herself to consider the possibility of success. 

The universe had promptly punished her for that.

Even their victory hadn’t felt like one. It had seemed especially cruel that, at the end of it all, the only people who remained lost were the ones she’d cared for. But Fate had never once extended its kindness toward her — she had stopped expecting that to change a long time ago.

“I nearly called them,” Nebula confessed. She felt his eyes on her. She wasn’t typically the one to break a silence. “They’re primitive, but they have a habit of finding the right answers eventually. Thought for a second that might have been something we would need.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“You didn’t have that kind of time. And they wouldn’t have had technology advanced enough to help anyways.”

“Probably for the best. You know how they get. Everyone’s gotta sit around and drink tea and take their stupid notes and cry about everything first. No one can get anything done until they all talk about their feelings.”

She knew it was bullshit. She did. She could hear it in his voice, could tell that he was projecting something onto them that wasn’t entirely deserved. But again, her mind had already made its association, and even though it was supposed to be the antithesis of who she was as a person, she found her own reflection in his words. 

Now that the battle had ended, she had time to feel embarrassed about it. Nebula didn’t cry. She didn’t break down. She didn’t allow herself to be that fucking weak in front of anyone, but especially not the only person who would know exactly what she was feeling. 

But hearing his voice, knowing that he was okay…it had set her synapses on fire. There was no other way to describe it besides a total systems failure. 

The abnormality of it all must have caused it. That was the only logical explanation. She didn’t get to be relieved very often. It was usually loss after loss after loss. Natasha. Tony. Her sister. Herself. People died more often than they lived if they got near her. It was a fact of nature she’d come to accept ages ago.

Knowing only made the last few days worse. She’d been desperate to make sure he wasn’t part of that list, but every minute that passed had been precious, and the running clock in her head had expired while they were standing on the edge of that monster’s ship. And as she raged against the door, against Drax and Mantis, she’d been certain that they’d failed him. She’d failed him. 

Maybe that was why she was so unprepared. So…overcome. Hearing him speak, it was like a weight had been lifted off her chest, like a valve inside her had been turned a full ninety degrees, and she was powerless against it. All she could do was let the emotion rush through her. All she could do was feel it. 

“I heard you called Gamora.” There was a seriousness creeping back into his voice, a shift in direction she had hoped to avoid. “That had to have been hard.”

She buried the musings beneath the familiar layer of indifference, and did her best to ignore the sprouts of emotions that grew through the cracks. “It’s easier for me than it is for Quill. She still knows me.”

“Not really. Not who you’ve become.”

It took more effort than it should have to hide her discomfort at the sentiment. Nebula didn’t feel very different. The battle with Thanos, with herself, had proven otherwise, but at her core so much felt the exact same. She was still cold and callous and angry. Still unsure of what the future looked like. Still made up of more broken parts than whole ones. 

Gamora was the only one who looked at her the same. Or, at least, almost the same. The suspicion was there, always, but the resentment of their past had faded, replaced with something that, on rare occasions, looked like respect. 

Every other expression was reassuringly familiar. Frustration. Arrogance. Indifference. Skepticism. Nebula could handle a bit of doubt — it meant someone else questioned what the group saw in her. Someone else saw the truth.

“She knows enough.”

Rocket didn’t seem satisfied with her answer. If anything, he looked as uncomfortable as she felt. “All I’m trying to say is that I’m…I'm grateful, you know? You all gave everything you had to save me. I owe you guys.”

The guilt was as overwhelming as the relief had been earlier. He wouldn’t feel gratitude toward any of them if he knew what lines they’d had to cross. He wouldn’t sit this close if he knew what image was permanently programmed into her consciousness. 

“Okay, I know it’s a bit mushy, but you don’t have to look like you’re about to hurl—“

“We saw your file.” The words came quickly, too quickly to hide how she felt about them. To attempt nonchalance. Her eyes were glued to the kids, desperately trying to hold onto the image in front of her instead of the one waiting behind her eyes. “It was the only way to figure out how to deactivate the kill switch.”

“Ah. So that’s why you all keep looking at me like that.” 

She knew whatever expression he was talking about was likely the one she was currently wearing, so she kept her head forward, did her best to ignore his tone. 

Maybe it was because she’d spoken to him and hardly anyone else for five years. Maybe they just understood one another on a level that could bypass her own ineptitudes. Whatever the reason, she’d always recognized what he was feeling in a way that never quite clicked for the rest of their team. She could hear the sadness and embarrassment trying to hide behind indifference. She could hear resignation in his attempt at deflecting the seriousness of her confession. She could tell it was a lie. 

It was almost worse this way. Despite what she knew, she couldn’t figure out how to fix it. 

“I’m sorry, Rocket. For all of it.” She looked at him, tried to show the sincerity she suspected her voice wouldn’t, but now it was he who stared straight ahead instead of meeting her eyes. 

“Yeah, well, can’t be a Guardian without a tragic backstory, right? Just another part of the job.”

“No. It’s incomparable. What you went through, it’s worse than any of us.”

“Come on, Nebs. We’ve all suffered. I’m not special.”

“You were just a baby.”

“So were you.” His head turned quickly, the look on his face like an electric shock. He was angry now, and he wasn’t hiding an ounce of it. “You wanna compare childhoods? That’s fine. We can do that.”

“Rocket—“

“You think it doesn’t drive me crazy thinking about what he did? Finding fried nerve endings during each repair? Tracing his cruelty through every piece of machinery you never needed?” 

Nebula shook her head. “It’s not the same.”

“You’re right. It’s not. Thanos took so much more time from you. I got out young. I got to make my own choices. They were mostly stupid choices, but they were mine.”

“I wasn’t brainwashed or anything. I made choices, too.”

“You made decisions; you didn’t have choices.”

“Same thing.”

“No.” He was preaching now, invigorated with righteousness she couldn’t comprehend. “The difference is free will. Once I was out, I could go to whichever planet I pleased, do whatever I wanted. You spent nearly your whole life trapped in his shadow. Everything you did was because of him. It was all what he wanted.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I do.” There was an intensity in his voice, a passion that she hadn’t prepared for. “I may have been the one locked in a cage, but you were a prisoner, too, Nebula.”

He was trying to defend her. To defend her honor, her actions. The very ones that had led her to attack them, that had made her complicit in the deaths of so many people. It made her feel sick to her stomach, made her gears turn wrong and her sensitive flesh ache. 

“It’s not the same,” Nebula repeated, stubborn and defiant and desperate to make him understand.

“How? How is it not the same?”

“You didn’t deserve it.”

There was pain in his eyes, she could see it, but even though hurting him was the last thing she wanted to do, he had to know. He had to understand why they were so different. 

“Thanos never put a kill switch in me. I’ve checked. All that time he spent rewiring my body, and he never thought to wrap my heart in barbed wire like the High Evolutionary did to yours. Do you know why?”

“Because Thanos was a narcissist and not nearly as smart as he thought he was?”

“Because he knew he’d never need it.” She hated the desperation in her voice almost as much as she hated the truth of her words. “He knew I would never betray him, and that even if I did, even with all my enhancements, I’d never be strong enough to beat him. And he was right.”

It still haunted her. So many people dead, and if she’d been just a little better, a little faster, she could have prevented it all. She could have killed him where he sat, completely unexpecting, and watched as the shock and regret and pain flickered over his face before he finally bled out. She could have been worthy of the status they kept trying to place on her. She could have earned the look of admiration her old Gamora had left her with.

But she’d failed. The way she always had. Close, but not close enough. Nearly successful. An eternity of almost was once again stronger than her need for vengeance. 

Everything that followed was on her. The Terrans had looked at her and seen a savior, an ally, but only she had known it was a lie. Nebula had never saved anybody. All she’d done was delay the inevitable. 

“He was wrong.” Of all the responses she expected from him, that wasn’t one of them. 

“What do you mean?”

“You did betray him. You did beat him.” 

“Gamora betrayed him. Tony beat him. All I did was force Gamora’s hand.” 

It would have been better if she’d been broken. If she’d confessed. But she hadn’t known about the camera. She hadn’t known that he could see everything she could. That he’d robbed her of her privacy when he’d taken her eyes. It was the first thing she’d had Rocket remove when he was finally gone for good. But even that had been too late.

When Gamora had walked in, her first thought was that her sister would have succeeded. Once again, she’d found herself in the same place she always did: failures on display, her father staring at her with a smug kind of disappointment while Gamora watched from the safety of his shadow.  

They were different, though. Better. So she’d tried. She’d tried to ignore every instinct she had that screamed for her to remain silent. She tried to speak, to tell her to keep her mouth shut, to convince her sister that she wasn’t worth it. She’d tried to tell her to let her go. To deny him the one thing he’d always wanted, even if it went against everything they’d been raised to believe. Even if she was the cost 

Defiance was more difficult than she’d expected, especially considering she was relatively new to the concept. Torture, however, was not. She’d had plenty of practice with it. In between screams of agony and stretches of solitude, the same words echoed inside her head, keeping her grounded with purpose greater than her own survival. Even when her vision went blurry and her mind begged for relief, when her heart shuddered under the strain of sustaining whatever parts of her remained alive, she’d almost been able to withstand it. 

Almost.

But by the time her body remembered how to speak, they were already gone. 

All she was left with was the feeling of her sister’s hand gently holding her face. Every time she looked at this Gamora, every time they were forced to confront their tangled realities, she remembered one final moment of kindness. One she hadn’t deserved.

“It’s my fault he got the soul stone,” she said, her voice hoarse and hushed. “It’s my fault the snap happened.”

It was this consequence of her own inaction that stole her peace of mind and left her with fitful sleep. It was why she kept insisting that Gamora was alive and well when she knew it wasn’t that simple. There were questions she could not afford to answer. Not if she wanted to keep her. Keep them.

But Rocket deserved to know.

“I’m the reason she’s dead.”

It was the first time she’d said those words since their battle against Thanos. The first time she felt the weight of them. The truth of them. 

Attempting to hide the physical effect of her revelation would be a wasted effort. Rocket saw right through her, as he always did. He reached over, placed his hand on her shoulder, and Nebula did her best to not recoil at his touch. 

“That’s not your fault.”

“It is.” 

All this time they’d been traveling together, and she’d spent most of it waiting for them to put the pieces together. Waiting for one of them to throw the blame where it belonged and kick her out once and for all. To see right through her. A tiny, desperate part of her was still crying out, begging her to stop, to keep the truth buried and her position secure. But she’d never known how to do what was good for her. Self-preservation had always been her sister’s area of expertise. Heroics had been, too.

“I gave him everything he needed to bring his war to their doorstep. And when he did, I couldn’t even try and stop him. I was too busy stopping myself.”

“Nebula—“

“I didn’t beat him. The only person I beat was a more pathetic version of me.”

That was another sight she longed to avoid by starving off sleep. Sometimes, in her dreams, when the shot went off, her own chest began to bleed. Sometimes all the blood in her body was replaced with gears and bolts and wires, all spilling out of her with reckless abandon. Sometimes the younger version of herself begged for forgiveness, for mercy. Nebula never gave it to her. And she always woke up alone.

“I’m not talking about the battle. I’m talking about all this.” Rocket motioned around him. “He spent your whole life telling you that you weren’t good enough, or that you could only do what he wanted. But he’s gone. You’re not. And you’re thriving, Nebs. You’ve got a family. You’ve got your sister. You have everything, and he’s nothing more than a pile of dust polluting Earth’s atmosphere. You won.”

Nebula wanted to argue. She’d always had an image in her head of what winning looked like. Winning meant standing over another, blade held to their neck. Winning meant pinning the enemy to the ground, feeling the air slowly leaving their body until their muscles went limp. Winning was a physical, visceral thing.  

His description didn’t match. So either he was wrong, or she was. 

“You truly won,” she told him. “You got to fight him properly.”

“Eh. I had help.” He nearly smiled as he said it. Like it was already a fond memory. She supposed it was, in a way, although tonight would never be just another fight. Not for any of them, but certainly not for her. 

It was less the battle and more its location that was hard to shake. Every detail of that atrocious ship remained, even after its destruction. Dark, cold, tiny cells. Constant supervision, constant neglect. It was bad enough imagining a young Rocket in that kind of environment; it was unbearable considering the fact that it may have been worse. 

“Do you remember it?” She almost didn’t want to ask. If she didn’t, she could pretend the answer was no. She could live in blissful ignorance and believe he got to hold onto something she never would.

Rocked nodded. Nebula tried not to memorize the haunted look in his eyes, but she’d never had a choice. Everything always stayed forever. “I remember all of it.”

The rage simmered quietly. She did her best to keep it contained. “How do you stand it?”

“I don’t know. Try to focus on the good, I guess.”

“There was good?” Her voice cracked slightly, but she didn’t have it in her to care. All night she’d been drowning in sorrow, in waves of damaged pasts and presents and inevitable futures, but with one sentence he’d thrown her a lifeline. She clung to it desperately. 

“Yeah,” he said, and for the first time all day, his eyes lit up. “There was a lot of good.”

“Tell me about it.”

He didn’t hesitate. They’d spoken about their pasts before, bragged about conquests and enemies defeated, alluded to scars they each refused to share, but she’d never heard him speak with such bliss before. Such fondness. 

She learned how he met his group. Lyla and Floor and Teefs and him. Friends. Survivors. The ones who had no idea they were never supposed to make it, but who found joy in the life they were given anyway. 

Staying true to his word, he focused only on the good. Inside jokes and moments of comfort. The games they’d play to pass the time. The laughter found in the corners of cages and dreams of a world that was waiting for them. 

As he spoke, she swore she could see it. Four heads coming together. Metal fused to bone, linking them all through the bars. A ship flying away into a clear and infinite sky. And in the center of it all was her best friend, amidst the horror and agony of an experiment’s existence, loving and being loved back. 

She didn’t ask what happened to them. He didn’t need to say it. The unspoken words were loud enough.

“I always thought that I’d never had a family until Groot. Until you guys.” There was a distant look in his eyes, like some part of him was still staring at those who weren’t here anymore. “But maybe I did.”

It flared then, before she could compel it away. The jealousy. Green and ugly and tainting something beautiful.

She’d always wondered how it had been so easy for them to form this stupid little family of theirs. How her sister had fit in so quickly, so flawlessly. How Quill and Drax could understand something she couldn’t. But now, the pieces were all falling into place, and she could finally see what separated them from her:

They had all been loved. 

No wonder it had been so hard for her to carve a space out for herself. No wonder she’d needed Rocket’s help to do it. She was deficient. They’d all had a blueprint, and she was walking in completely blind. Worse, what she lacked was something so intrinsic that nobody had ever thought to search for its absence. 

Or maybe they had. Maybe that had been the driving force behind the hesitation, the looks of suspicion that greeted her upon their return from the dust. Maybe they’d all known that she had never learned how to love properly. How to be loved. Maybe that was why they hadn’t wanted her.

“I wouldn’t have made it without them,” Rocket said, and the far off look was gone, replaced with something much more determined. “That’s how I know I couldn’t have survived what you went through. I couldn’t have survived alone.”

“I wasn’t alone.” Even when she knew it was technically the truth, it still felt like a lie.

Rocket let her have it. “Do you remember your life before him?” 

“Not really.” She’d always known it was intentional, that he’d given her an infallible memory by wiping nearly everything except his own arrival. He’d told her as much. Said it would help her focus. Help her win.

What remained were flashes, mostly. Faces like hers. Skin that was monochromatic. Someone’s hand squeezing her own. Her body, despite lacking the part in question, still recalled the sensation, sent phantom feelings through her metal fingers. It remembered that, at one point in time, when she was made up entirely of flesh and bone, and machinery was something she used instead of something she was, someone had held her. 

She liked to imagine it was her brother. She liked to pretend she’d had one of those. It made Gamora’s rejection easier to swallow as a kid, to picture someone else out there, a real sibling, waiting for her to come home. 

She’d stopped dreaming about him after he took her hand. Part of her always wondered whether her father had known, somehow, what images her subconscious had conjured up. Whether he’d cut that fantasy out of her, too.

“Have you ever looked into it? Tried to go home?”

Nebula shook her head. “Even if it’s still standing, I can never go back. It’s…I’m too different. I’m not one of them anymore.”

“He doesn’t get to decide that.” He reached into his pocket and grabbed one of the tiny raccoons. “I may not be able to communicate with them, or understand them, but I’ll always be a raccoon.” Nebula watched as it crawled up his arm and around his shoulder. It moved like it belonged there. Like it knew it was safe. “I spent a lot of time convinced that I was an anomaly. Told myself it made me special instead of lonely. But it’s nice, knowing where in this dumb galaxy I came from. Knowing that I’m not alone.” 

He smiled, puffed his chest out just a bit, and added, “Even if there still ain’t no thing like me, except me.”

She’d always liked when he said that. She’d thought it was one thing they shared. The proof she had of her own value. But he couldn’t face judgment from his species. He didn’t have to be afraid of losing home for a second time. He wasn’t to blame for his alienation.

Nebula wanted to believe him. She wanted to think that she could find some kind of catharsis in following her roots to a life she never got to live. But she’d always known she wasn’t the only one of her kind. Her individuality, as he called it, was meant to justify her continued existence; she was supposed to be the best of her people because she’d been changed. 

Isolation from them was the point. Without it, she risked discovery of one of two possible truths. Either her people were weak, and he had been right to tear her apart, or they were strong, and her deficiencies were entirely her own. 

Neither would give comfort. And nothing would be healed from knowing.

That was why she’d stayed. Her people wouldn’t understand, but she thought he had. She thought they were the same, twin reflections of their makers’ mistakes. But maybe the only thing Rocket’s words proved for her was her inevitable loneliness. Maybe all this time nodding her head in agreement was just another one of her pathetic attempts to convince herself that she was more than damaged parts. Maybe she’d taken this mantra he’d held close to his chest and corrupted it so deeply that it was now unrecognizable, its meaning lost somewhere in translation.

Maybe everyone who’d ever called her a monster had been right.

“Do you hate yourself?” 

He choked on her question. “Damn, Nebs. That’s what you took from my whole speech?” 

She did her best to ignore the whisper that said she’d done it wrong again. Listened wrong. Responded wrong. Failed. Like combat, conversation was another field Gamora continued to best her in. The sting of defeat echoed even now. 

Part of her wanted to abandon the effort entirely, but the restlessness would never fade if she didn’t see this through. “Answer the question.” She hesitated for half a second, before adding, "Please.”

Rocket didn’t speak for a while. Nebula didn’t mind. She could be patient when she needed to be. 

“I don’t know,” he finally said. “Maybe. Do you?”

“I didn’t think so. I thought I hated everyone else. But Mant said we all do, except Drax. Now I’m not sure.”

“I wanna say she’s full of shit, but it’s hard to argue with the fucking empath. She’s probably right.”

That had been her thought process as well. It had been distressing, thinking only of herself as the subject of Mantis’s observation. It had felt like another loss, somehow. But she was used to losing. 

What she hadn’t considered was the understanding that came a little later. The implication that she was not the only one stuck beneath the crushing weight of self-loathing. Quill as of late had been impossible to ignore, but Rocket was supposed to be better than them. He was supposed to be happy. And yet even now, when the dust had settled and everybody had made it back home, he refused to deny it. He wouldn’t even try to convince her otherwise.

On the ship, she had accepted the truth of Mantis’s words without much of a fight; now, however, the admission of defeat she’d prepared tasted like ash and burned just the same.

“Rocket?“

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want her to be right about this.”

Rocket stared at her, intense look in his eyes, and when he spoke, she believed him. “Me, neither.”

The quiet came back, interrupted only by the occasional chatter coming from the children. There had always been a kind of comfort to it. With no distractions, she could hear someone sneaking up behind her. She could always be prepared to fight. 

He’d asked, once. When it was just them. Rocket had been the one to cave, to take Quill’s device and fill the ship with music. While she’d offered no resistance, she’d had no qualms about the quiet. He’d questioned it, eventually, so she’d given her logical response: silence was safer.

It was true, even if it wasn’t the entire truth. 

But how could she confess to living her whole life in something the others found so off-putting? She couldn’t tell him that it was easier. That she didn’t have to know the right thing to say if nobody ever spoke. That she could blend into the shadows, melt into the quiet best she could, so that nobody could spot her faults. So that nobody could punish her for them.

Nebula suspected he’d figured it out anyway, because more than anybody else, he indulged her. In spite of his Quill-level attachment to that tiny music machine, he gave her moments like this, with nothing to do but stare straight ahead and not make a sound. She knew it drove him crazy after a while, but he always stayed. He never made her live in it alone.

A kid ran up to them, breaking their shared solitude. Nebula watched her mime something, repeating the same motions and incomprehensible phrases. 

“Rocket,” she asked quietly, keeping her eyes on the kid, “you don’t happen to speak this child’s language, do you?” 

“Nope.”

“Of course not.”

Something in her face must have communicated her lack of understanding, because the kid ran off, only to return with another girl in hand.

The theatrics began again, the girls looking at her with an abundance of hope and excitement. It was grossly misplaced. “I have no idea what any of that means, kid.” 

She turned expectantly toward Rocket, but all he did was shrug. “I’ve got nothing. This language isn’t like anything I’ve ever heard.”

“Really? You could understand the tree, but not this?”

“Hey, I’m not the one with a computer in my head. It’s not my fault nobody programmed this language into you.”

“You’re the one who's been updating my systems, so that is technically your fault.”

Whatever he was going to say back was interrupted by the kid. Nebula turned toward her, and this time, something in the mimicry clicked. “You want me to braid your hair?”

In place of an answer, the kid just turned around and sat excitedly on the step in front of her. 

Nebula hesitated. What should have been simple was, as most things were, infinitely more complicated. But the kid turned around, a confused and slightly impatient look on her face, so she reached forward and began going through the motions.

“You know how to braid hair?” Rocket asked, not attempting to hide his surprise.

“Yes.” She answered with more confidence than she felt, considering her knowledge was only theoretical. 

She used to watch Gamora braid her hair all the time. Whenever they were alone, whenever they were getting ready to fight, she was always moving her hands so quickly, turning each strand into something beautiful. Something her own.

It took a little over six months before she finally caught her watching. They were still kids, and she’d yet to master the art of subtle reconnaissance. Rather than cower out of guilt, Nebula had found the bravery to ask how she did it. 

Gamora had snapped at her. Made some snide comment about her not even having hair, so why would she want to know how to braid it? 

I wasn’t always like this was what she’d longed to say back. But with Gamora, her words had always seemed to disappear when she needed them most, so all she’d done was storm off and prepare to fight again, confident that this time, she would be victorious. 

She was not. But when she woke up on the operating table, she found Gamora sitting in front of her. Braiding. Her movements were slower, more deliberate. Intentional. Despite having nothing in her own hands, Nebula found herself copying her sister. 

The next day, the moment had been forgotten. Dismissed, as if it never happened. Gamora still glared at her, still held nothing back. Offered no mercy. Their whole childhood was made up of those constant contradictions. 

No wonder this family shit was still so hard.

Pleasing the kid was much easier. One simple braid down her back had the girl squealing, and suddenly she had a line of expectant eyes.

She should have said no. It was her nature, after all. Her tolerance for this kind of thing was historically low. But now that she’d tried it, she was beginning to understand why Gamora spent so much time on her hair. There was something calming about it, in the same manner as cleaning a weapon or adjusting her hand. The repetition, the simplicity, the singular object of her focus, it made her shoulders feel less tight and her mind less cluttered. She didn’t want to stop.

Staring at the children, Nebula was reminded of a conversation she’d had years ago. A vow she’d made, one she’d thought completed with the death of her father, even if it didn’t come at her own hand. But perhaps she’d been premature in declaring that oath officially fulfilled. Perhaps there was still work to be done.

A path began to fork before her, two possible futures lying in wait. With it, a decision to be made: return to what was, or try and see what could be. 

No. Not a decision. She silently conceded to Rocket’s earlier argument as she realized that this — for possibly the first time in her life — was a choice. A choice about where to go. What to do. Who to do it with. A choice entirely untouched by her father, or her sister, or anybody else. It was hers alone to make.

If she picked wrong, there would be no one to shoulder the blame. No sister to resent or teammates to berate. No fault to give to anyone but herself. 

Nebula wasn’t afraid. Fear wasn’t part of her programming. But she hadn’t felt this vulnerable, this apprehensive of her own potential actions, since her standoff with herself. 

One road called to her, beckoned toward a life that used to be completely inconceivable. But it offered no assurances. No guarantee that it wouldn’t end in disaster. No proof that it was the right choice. 

More than that, she had no reason to believe that the act of choosing for herself wasn’t simply another one of her many shortcomings. As a child, she’d been too imaginative, wasting her time with dreams of sisterhood and family eagerly awaiting her return. She’d suffered greatly for it. What was to say that she wasn’t doing the same now? What trust could she put into a future she envisioned, when her mind had often been the cause of her perpetual downfall?

No. Her entire body stiffened as she forced the barrage of questions to come to a screeching halt. This was doubt. Nothing more than the erosive effect of insecurity, determined on dragging her back with each step she tried to take forward. She could taste its familiar bitterness, could identify it as a lingering side effect of her time spent under her father’s suffocating grip and her sister’s relentless judgment. 

Diagnosing the feeling didn’t rid her or it. Some part of her still longed for a command. Still trusted the word of others over her own. Still believed in the faults he’d claimed to see in her. He was gone, but she was not truly free. The shackles remained.

Rocket didn’t see her that way. He believed she’d survived captivity. He saw her as liberated. More than that, he saw her as victorious. Like so many things in this world, she didn’t understand it. 

But she wanted to.

“Do you think it’s possible?” For the second time, she broke their comfortable silence. 

“Do I think what’s possible?”

“This.” She motioned around her. “Getting over ourselves. Proving Mantis wrong. Building a life here.”

“Honestly? I’m not sure. But you and I should be dead a hundred times over by now, and we're not. So maybe anything’s possible.”

Nebula didn’t say anything, just continued braiding. Rocket leaned against her side, his own babysitting duties no longer needed as the tiny raccoons cozied up in his lap. She didn’t know how long they sat there, her braiding and him watching. Long enough for the restlessness to ease. For more kids to have braided hair than not. For the sound of his relaxed breaths to replace each labored one she’d cherished and dreaded hearing over the past few days. 

She kept expecting him to leave. To get the rest she knew he needed, or find someone else who could offer a better distraction. But he stayed. And in the midst of the tranquil monotony, she silently thanked her uncanny endurance for allowing her access to a moment like this. 

Eventually, the first girl came back. “I did you already,” Nebula told her. But now the kid was tugging at the very hair she’d just knotted together. 

Rolling her eyes, Nebula nudged Rocket. “Start taking them out,” she told him as she passed the kid to her left. 

Rocket looked at her blankly. “I don’t know how to do that.”

She wasn’t sure what happened next. Another error of her systems. A possible side effect of spending nearly seventy-two hours awake. A complete break in sanity. Whatever the cause, Nebula immediately began laughing. 

It was uncontrollable. Irrational. Loud and off putting in a way she couldn’t exactly describe. She half expected him to stare at her incredulously, or ask if she needed her wires adjusted somewhere. 

But instead, he joined her. The kids followed suit, even though they had no way of knowing what was so funny. She hardly knew herself. But maybe the only thing that mattered was the sound, not its cause. 

“You’re telling me,” she said when she finally caught her breath, “that you can build anti-gravity shoes without breaking a sweat, but undoing a braid is too complicated for you?”

“Hey, that’s not what I—“

“I thought you were supposed to have this fancy big brain. Isn’t that what got us into this mess in the first place?” 

“You know, I don’t think you’re allowed to make fun of me on the day I almost died.”

“You lived.”

His sarcastic smile melted into something sincere. “Yeah. We all did.”

Even though she knew she didn’t have a choice, she decided that if she did, she would commit that sentence to memory. 

“Give it your best shot,” she said as she shoved the kid in his direction. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” 

Rocket rolled his eyes, but sure enough, he managed to quickly take out the knot at the bottom and detangle the hair. The braids were tight, but his hands were small and moved quickly, and soon he had his own line nearly as long as hers. 

Nebula looked down, paused midway through the braid. These hands — which were cut off and rebuilt for one purpose, which were covered in blood and burns that could never scar, which longed for the sensation of a ghost's touch — they were still able to bring joy. 

She smiled again, only this time, she knew the reasons for it. She smiled because she’d proven Gamora wrong. She smiled because she knew, even with the lingering doubt, what path to choose. Mostly, she smiled because she was beginning to understand Rocket’s theory about winning. Each surgery had been done with specific intent, but maybe this was the reason she kept failing in spite of them. Maybe her father had been wrong. She was not made to kill, or fight, or win, but simply to braid and unbraid a child’s hair, unburdened by fatigue or pain or the passing of time. 

That was victory enough. 

[crepearchives]

CROB Profile: Treasure Flask

Disclaimer: While not directly in violation of any SWANA themes or stereotypes at first glance as Devsisters usually commits, this Pet is still associated with a Cookie that does. As such, commentary will be absent from this profile because of the Pet’s combi association with the Cookie, and the necessary tags will be present.

Treasure Flask is an Epic Pet who was released alongside their combi partner Centipede Cookie on March 28th, 2023 as part of the update “In the Shadows of the Dunes” as the first of the update’s two new Pets. It does not appear in any stories.

Release Date: March 28, 2023

Tags: #Items #EnergySpeed #Potions

Rarity: Epic

Unlock Conditions: 758 Trial Star Jellies or 1,900 Crystals

Banned in CotMT?: Unknown

Qualified for Raid Run?: No

In-Game Story

The ceramic flask Centipede Cookie received as a gift during a mission is so antique that it would be a waste to only store water inside. Above all, the Cookie loved the Pet's pride in saying it was worth more than a regular flask. So, some days, the Cookie cherishes it like a treasure- other days, the Cookie hangs it on her waist like a water bottle.

Skill

Turns regular Jellies into Oasis Potions at given intervals. Oasis Potions restore your Energy and slow Energy drain for a short amount of time. Level Up for more Energy restored by Oasis Potions, and for a slower Energy drain after getting an Oasis Potion.

Treasure Flask periodically creates an Oasis Potion to replace a Basic Jelly. This potion is passively magnetized and will gravitate towards the Cookie. Collecting it restores a bit of Energy and slows their current Energy Drain for a while. The energy-conserving effects of the Oasis Potion increase irregularly with level, although the increase in Energy recovery only increases at given, irregularly-scaled levels. While the Cookie is under the effect of an Oasis Potion, they will be surrounded by a faint azure/cyan aura. The Potion does not have any noticeable score boosts attached to it.

🧪 Oasis Potion Creation Delay: 29.5 Seconds

❤️ Restored Energy: 4 + 1 every few levels (8 Trial, 10 Max)

⏳ Energy Drain Reduction Percentage: 20 -> 22 -> 23 -> 25 -> 27 -> 29 -> 31 -> 32 -> 34 -> 36 -> 38 -> 40 -> 41 -> 43 -> 44 -> 45 (+1 to 2 per level, 40% Trial, 45% Max)

⏱️ Observed Energy Drain Reduction Duration: 4.03 Seconds

Combi Bonus

🐛 Centipede Cookie: +220,000 Treasure Jelly Points

Costume

Merchant of Oasis Be aware of this Pet when you arrive in Mirage Village! The Pet will attempt to make every passing traveler believe that it can turn the grains of sand into an oasis... Don't be fooled by its fancy appearance!

Release Date: March 28, 2023

Rarity: Epic

Unlock Condition: Buy Centipede Cookie’s MAX Level Pass, then upgrade Centipede Cookie to level 15

The MAX Level Pass acts exactly like a battle pass that has a free path and a premium path attached to Centipede Cookie’s level. The premium path costs $9.99 USD of real money to unlock and features this costume at level 15. This pass has since expired on April 26, 2023 where the chance to get the costume disappeared.

Conclusion

Treasure Flask’s skill is primarily meant to keep the Cookie’s Energy mostly stagnant- if not slower to drain. Paired with long-distance speed Cookies like Knight Cookie and Centipede Cookie, this Pet can increase their endurance a bit longer to cover more distance and keep them running longer. With Cookies that have a faster energy drain such as Vampire Cookie and Pistachio Cookie, as well as equipping the Cursed Goblet Treasure, this drain slowdown can counteract the increased drain for a few seconds in a similar manner while they continue to run.

Despite these characteristics, this pet is not a complete replacement against a Legendary, as most Legendary Pets boast a better drain slowdown than this one. Paired with Centipede Cookie, however, this pet can dramatically increase her score as her combi pet in most situations compared to other drain slowdown pets.

[whatwouldvalerydo]

The party🎆

Happy Halloween everyone.

I can't believe that October is over however we can't say goodbye to it without the last scene for this small WIP.

Characters mentioned here belong to : @flareshogwarts @kc-and-co @lifeofkaze @the-al-chemist

With only a few hours of sleep, Scarlett was ready to actually strangle someone, but she kept reminding herself of the end goal. Party, have fun, save students from another fucking boring party where professors made them dance a foot apart. What even was that? 1980s? Such a joke.

A joke Scarlett didn’t want to take part in any longer. They were adults. They had the right to have their own parties, get closer to someone, drink, oh my lord, especially drink. Have fun and she was certain the majority needed to get their sticks out of their asses and actually enjoy themselves.

As she delivered the promised costume to a Slytherin girl she joined the rest in the Great Hall for breakfast, the first thing she went for being a huge mug of coffee that she absolutely devoured. On the last sip before another refill, she listened to everyone on what they still had to do, however a small smile revealed itself as she learned they all delivered the costumes Phil promised to the students “That’s good, finally some fucking good news, all we need now is to get the party ready.”

“Scarlett Tempest!” her eyes widened upon recognizing Phil’s voice.

“Impossible, the potion should have kept him knocked out until noon. I swear he doesn’t have blood anymore but energy drinks running through his veins.”

She peaked from behind Saffron, seeing him marching over “What have you done? Where are my costumes? How could you steal Halloween?”

Rolling her eyes, she rested her chin on her hand “You’re being dramatic, it’s just a stupid holiday.”

Phil stopped in his tracks, mouth swinging open “Stupid? Stupid?! You have unleashed my rath. Agility +10, mana – infinite.” He sprinted towards her table, Scarlett getting up and running to the end of the Great Hall.

“Cut it out, you can’t outrun me, I can last longer.”

“You have never seen me like this. Tell me what you did Scarlett.” Lunging for her, she evaded, running towards the exit.

“Maybe you should have increased your stamina instead you nerd. Fuck you Baker!”

Walking past them professor Willows shook his head “5 points from Slytherin and no running in the hall mister Baker.”

“Screw this!” Scarlett shook her fist at the professor thus earning another five points being deducted.

Getting up from their table, Lachlan and Jonathan ran to catch up to Phil who was already running out of breath “Now, now, come on mate, I’m certain she will come around.” Jonathan said, urging for Dylan to join them, him shaking his head as he pointed to his breakfast, bent on ignoring them.

Taking hold of Phil’s arm, Lachlan prevented him from running away “Come on, let’s get something to eat and come up with a plan ok?”

Basically dragging Phil to where Dylan was sitting, they witnessed him losing it “She… I can’t believe it. The betrayal! Halloween? Really? I don’t know what to do. What should I do?”

Dylan scoffed as he pushed a bowl towards him “How about you calm down and eat something? You can’t undo what she did. It’s Scarlett.”

Phil nodded, running a hand through his hair, looking at another table where he could have sworn he had seen Dana and Saffron but suddenly they were nowhere in sight. Breathing out a heavy sigh, he finally decided to have a bit of coffee to at least properly wake up “She drugged me, she unlocked a level I never knew she could.” The boys shared a concerned look as he continued to ramble, Jonathan in the end deciding to spare him the grief.

“Alright, alright, look, we have an idea for a costume and need a fourth member. So will you help us please, we’re a bit lost.”

Thankfully, that was enough to get him to join, well, that and the promise that they would come up with an epic plan to take down Scarlett and make her pay for her treachery. But when Phil saw that the costume was a Chinese dragon, he didn’t know what to actually think. Dylan looked at it also confused as Lachlan whispered something to him as he constantly shook his head “No, no, we’ll get in trouble.”

“No we won’t, no one will know.”

“Know what?” Phil asked, Jonathan from behind him making some weird hand signals.

Sighing Dylan stepped in “That we ran out of orange paint.”

“Oh. Well we can mix red and yellow for that. But…no…well actually” Phil perked up “this is perfect. We can scare Scarlett, she won’t know we are in this costume. Perfect.” He mentioned rubbing his hands together, going to search in Jonathan’s paint supply for the perfect brush.

By the time it was almost time to meet up in order to discuss plans for the party, the boys have been unfortunately still locked up in a room, finishing up the costume, most of them checking the clock and getting increasingly worried. Lachlan still had to get the ice, Jonathan needed to help Scarlett carry everything to the party site and Dylan was in charge of getting the decorations from people alongside Dana and setting everything up.

But distracting Phil apparently wasn’t as easy as they believed, he was adamant on sticking around, complaining about Scarlett. Glancing at everyone Jonathan spoke up “Well it looks perfect from where I’m standing.”

Feeling the last bit of patience leaving him, Dylan looked at the massive costume “We are four people going inside one costume. Have you actually thought this through?”

Smiling, Jonathan raised his brows “Well since Scarlett stole the costumes you know we are going with it as a last minute decision, but we need to go like this: tallest is first.”

Lifting his head from his corner of the room, Phil stopped grumbling something upon hearing her name again “What? I am the tallest but I can't carry around the head. I don’t know what you actually put in it that’s so heavy.” Turning his eyes towards Dylan, he lifted his hands up in frustration.

“Don't look at me, look at them. Who's stronger out of you two?”

Sharing a look between themselves, Lachlan and Jonathan did a one over of each other, the latter quickly speaking up “Lachlan is.”

Getting up, Phil nodded along with the decision “Perfect, who goes next?”

Rolling his eyes Dylan scoffed “This is going to be a long night. Fine, I go next. Jonathan after me, Phil you take the tail since it’s the least heavy. All good?”

“Yes, also don’t forget, everyone needs white t-shirts.” Jonathan added.

Sniffing his nose, Phil huffed “What sort of Halloween is this?”

“Mate, trust me, it’s going to be fine. You need to relax and trust us. We’ll have fun.” Looking at the clock again, they all jumped when their door swung open, Dorian walking inside the room.

“I saw Scarlett going into the kitchens with the costumes, I think she plans on disposing of them.” The next second Phil sprinting past him. Turning to look at the nasty looks everyone gave him, he just shrug his shoulders “We’re late, everyone is waiting. So come on if you want a party tonight.”

A few hours later alongside some Wide eye potions and coffees, everything was set. The boys found a dejected Phil barely agreeing to go through with being the fourth member to their costume, right before the party in the Great Hall took place, but as far as they were concerned, everything was going according to plan.

Hiding under the dragon, they all marched inside the Great Hall, laughter and music surrounding them from every corner “I swear if we get in trouble.”

“All in good fun Dylan.” Lachlan spoke up.

Peaking from under the costume, Jonathan saw they passed the butterbeer table, the cloth lifting, a wand being pointed at their costume. A spell was chanted, candles going out in the Great Hall, drowning them in darkness as another spell levitated the heavy costumes off their shoulders. As Incendio was cast upon the dragon, fireworks erupted.

Dylan was yanked away from the boys by Dana as she guided him out of the hall while the commotion was taking place. Lachlan ran alongside Jonathan, the latter looking behind, witnessing Phil being dragged along by Scarlett who came out of hiding from under the table.

Hushed giggles and hurried footsteps evaded professors and they made their way to their own party alongside several other students who made a run for it.

“How long before they figure it out it was me?” Scarlett laughed looking at Saffron.

“Pretty sure professor Willows knows, but he can’t do anything about it tonight as there are still students over at the other party. Drink?”

“Sure, but first.” She pointed her wand to a table, levitating the box covering it to reveal colored powder “Non toxic, yada, yada, how you asked for it.”

As the crowd gathered to get a handful of powder and throw it at someone or in the air, Phil stood there with a surprised look on his face. Walking next to him, Dylan thew at him some red powder “Hey!”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Why did no one tell me? You had a party planned, I saw people wearing my costumes, how?”

Shaking his head, he offered a smile “Thank Scarlett and her crazy ideas.”

Jonathan whistled, signaling to the rest to drag a drink, Dorian lighting up the fire after concealing the area with spells.

Walking over to grab a drink, Phil jumped when Scarlett came up from behind him “Still mad?”

“No, stunned actually. Still sad that we don’t have costumes though.”

Rolling her eyes, she pointed at him, blowing some powder his way “We are all wearing a pattern, take it as it is. But we are also doing face paint so if you still want to work your magic.”

“Can I?”

Smiling, she nodded “Sure, that if you can convince Jonathan to give you some paint, but I’m pretty certain you can take it and he won’t even notice.” She pointed at him trying to actually concentrate on a design and failing since Lachlan was making faces at him while trying to help him drink at the same time “Yeah, anyway.” Looking around, she pulled him by the hand, concealing themselves behind a tree. Getting on her tippy toes, she placed a kiss against his lips “Happy Halloween Phil.”

[thedreamparadox]

Dream Guide Species Write-Up

(Above art is official JoD concept art, found here.)

Since I have upcoming Guide heavy content, I figured I’d do a write-up for the species. Note that Dream Guides are an open source fan species, but I do ask that if you end up leaning into the headcanons I’m using here, please credit me in some form. Thank you!

Now, onto the write-up.

Dream Guides are beings that naturally manifest within the Night Dimension. How and why they exist is unknown, but the operating theory (that most Guides themselves use, at least) is that Guides exist because humans need them to, simple as that. Guides can trace their history back to more or less the beginning of the Night Dimension, though details back that far are exceedingly foggy and no Guide can really say exactly when their kind began manifesting.

Guides have been assisting humans for longer than either humanity or Guide-kind can distinctly recall. Guides have been interpreted as messengers from gods, omens (both good and bad), spirits, and just about every other justification for a talking animal in one’s dream that you can think of. Quite commonly children believe them to be some form of an imaginary friend, or a manifestation of a well loved toy protecting them from bad dreams (whether or not this is true is a matter of speculation among Guides, especially given that some Guides go on to inspire Dreamers to create works of art or literature or even stuffed toys that go on to inspire other Dreamers, it’s a very chicken-or-egg situation). Regardless of their origins, Guides are a natural occurrence within the Night Dimension. 

However, due to Wizeman the Wicked, the number of Guides greatly dwindled from their heyday. Most Guides escaped the forces of Nightmare by hiding, creating safe spaces that Nightmaren could not enter such as the Dream Gate. As such, Guides have become rather uncommon, but with Wizeman’s defeat twice-over, their numbers are starting to increase due to the lack of Nightmaren going after Guides specifically, as Nightmaren by default regard Guides as their enemies. 

Guides themselves see their job as being one of aiding and protecting Dreamers, though each has their own way of going about doing that. Some, like Owl, take up residence in a shared space outside of any Nightopias and assist any Visitors that happen along, educating them in the ways of the Night Dimension and often helping them work through problems they may be encountering in their Waking lives. Others roam through Nightopia, assisting and helping Dreamers where they can. Some Guides, instead of helping as many Visitors as they can, find a handful or just one Dreamer that they go out of their way to assist and protect.

Dream Guides are a completely open source fan species (especially since they are based on established canon rather than being completely original). If you want to design a Guide of your own or include them in stories, the lore included here is a suggestion, not a rule.

(Above art by Beatrix Potter retrieved from here.)

Guide Traits

All Dream Guides are some form of animals. They are most often wild animals, most often being birds or mammals, though they can also be amphibians or reptiles. Guides are never fish (due to how difficult it would be for a fish to get around outside of water) or insects (too common of a fear among humans). Guides can also be domestic animals, most commonly cats, dogs, and rabbits. 

All Guides have some form of a gemstone somewhere on their person. This gem allows them to manifest their magic. This magic is most commonly creating shields to protect themselves or Visitors and creating some form of force that is able to destroy Third Level Nightmaren. Most Guides have just enough magic to create shields and destroy only a handful of Third Levels before running out of magical energy. Guides are also capable of creating wards to keep Nightmaren away, manifesting as either a solid invisible barrier (a la the force walls of the Ideya Palaces, which are very old Guide creations that still linger in Nightopia due to the intensity of the magic used to create them), a force that causes Nightmaren to avoid the area on instinct, or rendering an area entirely invisible to Nightmaren senses. These gems are solid colors and usually smooth, but not always. They are most commonly worn as jewelry or clasps keeping coats or capes attached. A gem can be taken from a Guide, but they will always return to their owner eventually.

There are two distinct classifications of Guides: Guides and Guardians. Guardians are rare due to their role as actively going out to fight Nightmaren. They are much stronger than other Guides and often carry about some form of weapon fitting their aesthetic. For example, Baku-san is a tapir Dream Guardian that carries tanto as their inspiration is the Japanese creature called the baku. (Guides are not necessarily based off of myths, but they can be.) Guardians are able to fight for longer and more intensely than Guides, capable of potentially taking down Second Levels without enough time and potentially assistance from a Dreamer. Guides, meanwhile, are not very good at fighting, but do their best to assist Dreamers in their own ways.

All Guides wear some form of clothing, and most Guides wear glasses or spectacles of some sort (Guardians never wear glasses in any form, seeing them as impractical), despite the fact that Guides almost always have perfect vision. The move to spectacles as an indication of the status of a Guide was a relatively recent one (for Guides anyway, the practice has been around for about 100 years) brought about primarily by the works of Beatrix Potter who popularized the talking animals in clothes genre in her children’s books. The explosion in popularity of her work and related works created a noted increase in the amount of Guides. Clothing varies from individual to individual, but usually reflects the area of the Waking World that Guides most commonly work with humans from. 

Guides can speak all human languages and fluently understand Marenspeak, even if they cannot speak it themselves. Guides often pick a language or accent they prefer and stick with it. For example, Owl always speaks with a British accent, which shows through even when he’s speaking other languages.

The Guide aesthetic leans heavily on the works of Beatrix Potter, taking inspiration from other similar works such as Brambly Hedge and Redwall. Not all Guides inherently run the whole ‘cottagecore’ aesthetic, but it is the most common thematic as Guides are a bit rustic with their sense of aesthetics. (I grew up with Peter Rabbit and the Redwall series and to this day I still own a Hunca Munca piggy bank and I am fully aware that this colors the Guide aesthetic significantly lol.)

Guides are immortal and ageless, though they can be killed. Guides never discuss how old they are (it’s seen as impolite), but it can be obvious depending on how they speak how old or new they are. 

Guides can teleport, and this is most commonly how they get around. Guides can also grant this ability to others, but the spots they can teleport two are fixed. 

Guide magic matches the color of the Guide’s gem. Guide magic manifested by others (such as the teleporting magic built into NiGHTS’ gloves that shows up in Not The Same As It was) is always silver, as silver is the color associated with Lucidity, and manifested Guide magic by way of others is more or less a form of Lucid magic.

Guide names are most commonly just the name of the animal they are, such as Owl or Rabbit. Some add polite modifiers to their names, usually either Mister or Miss, but this is variable baked on the cultures they most commonly interact with (ie Miss Sparrow and Baku-san). Not all Guides go by this, though, and some use forms of address as their names (ie Ser) or have actual names, even if they don’t always use them (Miss Mouse, for example, goes by Miss Mulberry Mouse, or just Mulberry, but Miss Mouse is seen as more formal and polite). 

There are more concrete shared spaces than just the Dream Gate. For example, Miss Mulberry Mouse (a guide OC of mine that will be appearing in a fic) is the head librarian of the Grand Library, a space based loosely on the idea of the Akashic Record (the concept of a book containing the sum of all knowledge in the universe) combined with my own dreams of libraries and bookstores composed of impossible geometry. These stable places used to be easily accessible, but the Nightmaren destroyed most ways to get around the non-Nightopia areas of the Night Dimension, forcing Guides and Visitors alike to rely on other methods of transportation. Guides teleport, Dreamers are either reliant on getting a lift from Guides or, for Lucids, figuring out other ways around.

(A note on Luicds: Lucids is a classification given to any Visitor that is able to become fully aware of their dreaming state and then utilize their awareness to create some kind of effect. Most commonly, this is giving themselves an ability like flight or telekinesis, but can also include using doorways as a form of teleporting, reality warping (which is hard to do outside of one’s own Nightopia, but is still possible, Guides often use this to help build things when Lucids are willing to lend a hand), and even altering the shape of Nightmaren. Seconds and Firsts eventually bounce back from shape changing, but Thirds usually get stuck.)

Guides all have unique personalities and interests but by default they are friendly and just want to help. 

Guides are physically genderless (just like Nightmaren and Nightopians), but self-identify as whatever gender they feel like. Most commonly they self identify as male or female, but there are a good number of nonbinary and genderfluid Guides out there too. They tend to pick a gender and lean into it in the “this is my aesthetic way” and don’t tend to think about it much past that.

And that’s about it. Guides are a pretty flexible species to work with so long as you’ve got some kind of animal in some kind of clothing with a gem on the design somewhere you are pretty much good to go.

(Above art is from Brambly Hedge, found here.)

[qocsuing]

The Future of Portable Power: Exploring the Advantages of Lithium Polymer Batteries with XPOWER

The Future of Portable Power: Exploring the Advantages of Lithium Polymer Batteries with XPOWER

The batteries technology has changed a lot as the demand for power sources that are more efficient, light weight and durable keeps increasing. The invention of lithium polymer battery (Li-Po) is among the most significant breakthroughs in recent times. There are many applications where these batteries can be used because they have high performance levels and are versatile too. For example personal electronics like phones or tablets all the way up through electric cars could benefit from this type of battery. In this article we will discuss what makes them so great as well as talk about XPOWER who is leading this charge towards portable power future.Get more news about lithium polymer battery,you can vist our website!

Battery Technology Evolution

To understand why lithium-polymer batteries matter it is necessary to take a brief look at how far battery technology has come throughout history. Traditional ones such as Nickel Cadmium (NiCd) or Nickel Metal Hydride (NiMH) served their purpose well for many years but had limitations with being heavy and having lower energy densities while also having shorter life spans due to memory effect which required complete discharge before charging again.

A big step forward was made when Lithium Ion (Li-ion) became available because it offered higher energy density along with longer lifespan plus efficiency gains too even though there were still some issues around safety since they could overheat easily requiring rigid casing due its liquid electrolyte.

The next stage in this progression are Lithium Polymer Batteries that build on top of what Li-ion could do right while fixing everything else wrong making them perfect choice for current devices hungry for power.

What Sets Apart Lithium Polymer Batteries?

In comparison to lithium ion batteries Li-Po cells differ mainly by their structure wherein instead of using liquid electrolytes like most other types these employ solid state or gel materials as electrolytic mediums thereby greatly improving on various aspects such as performance levels; safety features etcetera .

1.Ultra Slim And Lightweight Design

Lithium Polymer Battery have slim and lightweight designs that make them stand out among other batteries. The solid state or gel-like electrolyte used in their construction enables manufacturers to produce these cells in a wide range of shapes and sizes including ultra thin forms which would not be possible with any other type of battery. Such flexibility when it comes to designing them makes this kind ideal for modern day electronic gadgets where space is limited as well weight being an important factor too.

It is through leveraging on this that XPOWER has managed to create products which besides being powerful are also small sized and light weighted so that they can be easily carried around without causing any inconvenience. This implies that regardless of whether one uses a smartphone, tablet device or even wearable gadget; XPOWER’s Li-Po batteries will always ensure maximum utilization without adding unnecessary load on the user.

2.Higher Energy Density

Another thing which differentiates lithium polymer batteries from the rest is their higher energy density. When compared against many other common types of cells, LiPo packs offer more capacity within same physical space occupied by such a unit hence resulting into longer run times per charge cycle; especially useful for devices meant to operate continuously over prolonged durations away from mains supply e.g., remote controls, toys ,and portable media players among others.

Safety Features Improved

Safety is an important consideration for battery technology, particularly in devices that are portable. Lithium-ion batteries can overheat and sometimes catch fire or explode because of the volatile liquid electrolyte they use, even though they’re effective. In contrast, lithium polymer batteries are intrinsically safer. The solid or gel-like electrolyte they employ is more stable and less likely to leak or short circuit.

XPOWER has gone above and beyond by building safety precautions into its Li-Po batteries. These consist of protection against overcharging, over-discharging, and short circuits so that your device stays safe during use as well as charging.

Longer Lifespan and Durability

Durability and longer lifespan also rank among the biggest advantages offered by lithium polymer batteries. Unlike previous battery types which suffered from memory effect issues wherein their performance would degrade significantly if charged frequently without discharging fully first; Li-Po cells can be recharged many times over without suffering much loss in performance thereby making them perfect for gadgets that need to be topped up regularly like smartphones, laptops or wearable tech for example.

XPOWER backs up quality with products designed not to disappoint – their lithium polymer batteries should live long with good care taken! Not only will these units continue delivering peak power through hundreds upon hundreds (and possibly thousands) of charge cycles but they’ll do so reliably enough until sometime after forever too!

Environmental Impact

With continued growth consciousness about environmental effects caused by technological developments worldwide people are demanding eco-friendly alternatives wherever possible hence creating a need for them; this is where we see another area where lithium polymer cells shine brighter than any other type may it be said here today: efficiency plus longevity equals lower waste production – simple math really! Another thing worth mentioning would be that since Lipo packs last much longer before needing replacement frequently as such fewer numbers end up getting disposed off into landfills thus taking care not just during manufacturing but right from start till finish too.

XPOWER has taken steps towards sustainability by adopting eco-friendly practices in the production and disposal stages of their lithium polymer batteries. Choosing XPOWER allows you to power your devices while minimizing environmental impact.

Applications for Lithium Polymer Batteries

Lithium polymer batteries are versatile and can be used in various applications due to their unique characteristics. These are some areas where XPOWER Li-Po cells have found great use:

Consumer Electronics

Consumer electronics rely on lightweight designs coupled with high energy densities which is what makes them perfect candidates for lithium polymer battery packs. This technology is widely applied in smartphones, tablets as well as laptops among other portable gadgets that require high performance levels without compromising on portability factor; therefore achieving this goal will mostly depend on having enough power supplied by XPOWER’s advanced LiPo cells.

Electric Vehicles

The electric vehicle industry is growing rapidly across different parts of the world especially when it comes down to cars which run only on electricity hence no emissions produced during operations whatsoever leaving environment clean always unlike fuel powered ones! Lithium Polymer batteries play a significant role in this transformation due to their ability store large amounts charge within limited space besides being safe too thus making them suitable for electric cars, motorcycles or scooters used today even; furthermore these should offer good mileage range capabilities needed by manufacturers such as those provided by advanced Li-Po cells made available courtesy of XPOWER company at present moment itself.

Drones and RC Models

Remote controlled models together with drones need lightweight batteries that can deliver high performances so as achieve maximum flight times plus agility levels required while operationalizing each one individually whenever necessary; discharge rates being another key consideration here because they determine how much current must flow through system before becoming too weak ultimately resulting into failure altogether either during takeoff phase or mid-air flight whereby second scenario tends cause more damage than first instance does if left unattended for long periods without an immediate solution being found.

Healthcare Devices

In order to function properly, medical devices like defibrillators need a steady and dependable source of power. Lithium polymer batteries are particularly good for these critical applications because they have a stable chemistry that lasts for a long time. XPOWER makes sure its battery packs meet all necessary standards set forth by the healthcare industry with their commitment to safety and quality.

Tools

Lithium polymer batteries allow electric tools to get the necessary power in a small package such as drills or saws which require high energy bursts. Traditional batteries are not limited by this type of battery so XPOWER’s Li-Po batteries are commonly found in cordless tools where performance is key.

XPOWER: The Leader In Lithium Polymer Battery Technology

As people begin to realize the benefits of lithium polymer batteries more and more, XPOWER has established itself as an industry leader in this field. By focusing on innovation, quality and sustainability; XPOWER strives to produce state-of-the-art Li-Po batteries that can keep pace with our rapidly changing world.

XPOWER continuously advances its technology through research & development activities ensuring that it always remains at par if not ahead of other manufacturers within the same sector (battery production). Some ways through which they achieve this include increasing energy density levels among others features aimed towards improving safety standards while also reducing environmental impact caused by such cells.

They also take a customer-centric approach which means putting users’ needs first before anything else hence designing products which not only perform better but also guarantees hassle-free operation for buyers too; thus from when one plugs his / her device into any outlet powered by XPOWER’s Li-Po battery pack he will instantly experience higher levels reliability alongside improved durability compared against similar items supplied elsewhere.

Conclusion: Moving Towards The Future With XPower Batteries Made From Lithium Polymer Materials

There is no doubt that technological advancements will continue unfolding thereby necessitating provision for increasingly efficient sources of energy supplies; henceforth I expect demand for reliable power sources capable of keeping pace with these changes. Needless say, Li-poly batteries are among those likely to meet such needs thanks largely due their various inherent advantages over other types available today. XPOWER which happens be among top producers within this sector has taken lead position in ensuring that all its clients get what they want when it comes down to portable power solutions.

Whether you want to charge up your smartphone, electric car or medical device; XPower’s lithium polymer battery packs provide high performance coupled with greater safety levels as well as long service life. Therefore choosing them means not only embracing future technology but also working hand in glove with partners who are always striving towards achieving excellence through continuous improvement initiatives aimed at conserving environment while meeting diverse customer expectations at all times.

[honeyhealthproducts]

Supercharged Workouts and Gains Thanks to Slin Glucose Disposa

I've always struggled to find the right balance between carbs and building muscle. Too many carbs, and I end up storing them as fat. Too few, and I run out of steam during workouts. That's why I was so excited to try Slin Glucose Disposal, a supplement that promises to shuttle carbs directly into your muscles for maximum growth. Here's my experience after using it for the past eight weeks.

Unbeatable Energy Levels

Prior to Slin, my energy levels would dip halfway through my workout routine. This often left me feeling discouraged and limited my ability to push myself. Since incorporating Slin, that's become a thing of the past. The improved carb utilization provides a steady stream of fuel, allowing me to train harder for longer. I can finally focus on pushing my limits without worrying about hitting a wall.

Visible Muscle Growth

The most significant benefit I've noticed is a noticeable increase in muscle definition. While diet and exercise are crucial, Slin seems to be the missing piece that's accelerated my progress. My muscles feel fuller and more responsive during workouts. It's incredibly motivating to see the results of my dedication reflected in the mirror.

Efficient Carb Utilization

One of my biggest concerns with carbs was the potential for fat storage. Slin appears to address this by directing carbs towards muscle growth instead. This has allowed me to embrace a more carb-inclusive diet without the fear of weight gain. It's fantastic to be able to enjoy a post-workout meal knowing my body is using it for muscle repair and recovery.

Natural and Safe Ingredients

Slin's focus on natural ingredients like Berberine and Alpha Lipoic Acid was a major selling point for me. I'm wary of supplements with harsh chemicals, and Slin's commitment to natural ingredients provides peace of mind.

Overall Impression

Slin Glucose Disposal has been a game-changer for my bodybuilding journey. It's provided me with sustained energy, accelerated muscle growth, and efficient carb utilization. Whether you're a seasoned athlete or just starting, Slin is a fantastic supplement to consider for taking your workouts and results to the next level.

Disclaimer: It's important to note that I consulted with a doctor before starting Slin, especially since I have other dietary supplements in my routine. It's always best to check with a healthcare professional before introducing any new supplements.

[psatalk]

Xeikon’s new PX3300HD high res label press at drupa24 – Hall 11/A01

Lier, Belgium, 30 April 2024 – Xeikon has announced details of the next evolution Panther inkjet technology as it prepares for the world premiere of the Xeikon PX3300HD, a new 1200 dpi digital press to be launched at drupa 2024. Developed for high quality labels, the 5-color machine offers a 330 mm printing width and speeds up to 70 meters a minute, even when printing with high opacity white. It utilizes a newly developed ink series, PX-Cure LED HD, to ensure good curing, while supporting sustainability targets for converters.

“As inkjet technology continues to mature, there’s a clear need to update Xeikon’s Panther portfolio with a higher resolution option to meet specific customer requests. Consequently, we’re now introducing a 1200 dpi engine to complement the existing 600 dpi product range,” states Jeroen Van Bauwel, director Solution Design. “The new Xeikon PX3300HD will extend the capabilities for printers by giving them the tools to reach excellent quality at even higher productivity levels in a TCO-friendly way.”

According to the company, the new digital press produces high durability, full-color labels for diverse markets, covering up to 88% of Pantone colors within Delta E2 (rising to 94% within Delta E 3). To meet the specific requirements of the higher resolution engine, Xeikon has developed new PX-Cure LED HD inks. The new inks match the sustainability benefits of the recently introduced PantherCure UV LED series for Xeikon 600-dpi inkjet presses, including significant savings in energy consumption, instant warm up for more agile operation, and 10 times longer lamp life compared to traditional UV arc lamps, resulting in lower waste.

The new press leverages Xerox W-Series industrial inkjet printheads with dedicated waveforms and screening software developed by Xeikon. Furthermore, the PX3300HD is fully prepared for hybrid printing with the option to add Xeikon’s modular inline label converting units and a large unwinder for longer uninterrupted production runs.

Van Bauwel concludes, “This extension of Xeikon’s inkjet capabilities is an incredibly exciting development for customers. It offers them a very cost-effective and highly competitive opportunity to scale their businesses, so they can supply profitable luxury market segments with exceptional productivity and quality. We are currently well underway with customer trials and will start sales at drupa. I’d like to encourage all attendees to make their way to our stand in Hall 11/A01, to experience the PX3300HD 1200 dpi press running live and discuss their future path in inkjet for labels and packaging with Xeikon.”

Our take –

In a web press conference on the evening of 29 April 2024 we had an opportunity to question Xeikon about the cost of dry toner consumables of digital presses. When these were introduced more than 30 years ago the promise of some of the manufacturers was that the toner cost would rapidly go down as consumption volumes increased. One of the Xeikon speakers at the press conference responded by saying, “More than three decades old, this is certainly a mature technology. And yes, both the capital cost and the cost of consumables should have come down.”

Our view is that digital production printing continues to face the ‘Innovator's Dilemma’ in that it has taken a very long time for much of it to deliver quality at a reasonable cost with reliability. While the drum and toner presses at lower capital costs have worked well in markets like India this is because they have delivered quality for newly invented markets such as photo books and the consumable costs have remained reasonable – their quality has evolved while the price or click charge has remained the same despite continuous inflation over the past three decades.

Many of the paradigms offered in the early days of digital printing such as transactional printing have not been very successful in markets such as India. For various reasons this segment has occupied a specialized niche. The evolution of digital printing into inkjet has also faced the dilemma of high capital cost and consumables. Although to some extent alleviated by Asian and Indian manufacturers of inkjet presses, the inkjet presses from the major global manufacturers continue in the main to be unable to answer the question: “Is it cheaper, better or faster?”

Clayton Christensen – The Innovator's Dilemma: When New Technologies Cause Great Firms to Fail, first published in 1997, discussed why and how some disruptive technologies can fail.

[mystiika]

re; jamie's early training + containment

so i've been thinking a lot about jamie's powers. like how they first manifested, how his family handled it, what training looked like as a child in order to help him use it safely & skilfully. as well as get a bit into the potential he has in the way of future progressions of current abilities or pick up entirely new ones, unlike my previous meta that just talked about his current powers & what level they're at.

& i'll have to write up another post for all of those but for the moment i want to do a bit of an informal meta about how they kept his powers under wraps until he was able to control it & keep his abilities hidden for both his own safety & those around him.

at first, he couldn't really control his shifting at all. his body would change at random which made things very hard to explain so, given how his mother was part of this very old & powerful coven, she took jamie back to korea between the ages of 1 & 2. she needed to learn everything she could about what her child was if not a witch, & more than that she needed to figure out how to handle it until he could make the conscious decision whether or not to morph any part of his being. unfortunately there wasn't much information. there were records of a shifter in their family tree but it was centuries ago & the further you go back, the more deteriorated the tracking despite the spells on them to increase the longevity of the scrolls.

the next part was far more dangerous. they needed to find a way to charm him or lock his powers somehow. lia didn't want to have to lock him up away from the world, already he showed such interest in everything around him it would break her heart to treat him like a prisoner even if it was supposed to be for his own good.

it took many of the coven, the cleverest & most powerful of the bunch, months of their time & power to do what they could to help both her & jamie. eventually they'd figured out a way. they forged a bracelet, of centuries old silver imbued with power over all that time — power enough to serve as a lock on his own once it had the appropriate markings & spells in place.

they presented her with only 2 rules on its use. 

the 1st should only be place on jamie if he was in his natural state. there was little they knew for certain about jamie's abilities, but one of them is that the energy required to shift any part of him, no matter how small, will draw from him like a steady fall of water. if he's unable to restore energy & continues to drain himself, eventually it will take from his very life source & kill him once it runs out.

it is worth noting that as he ages & his power grows, the easier it is to keep up his shifts for extended periods of time. he could keep something up for weeks & all it would take is an extra serving of food at dinner. but as a baby & young child it was unwise to risk something like that. jamie himself can feel his level of energy, be it standard or his life force. if it feels dangerous he'll remove it immediately.

the second rule is that she was able to divulge his identity to those she trusted but she was never to tell anyone about the bracelet. it stayed within only the closest ring of their family & no further. 

once he was older & no longer fit into the bracelet, on a trip back to korea the coven was able to melt down & reforge the bracelet into 2 separate pieces, the first was a ring for when he was an adult, the second was a small pendant & chain more suited to a young child than something so easily lost as a ring. both these new pieces took his increased power into account with the intention of allowing them to be used through most of his life. unbeknownst to them his power doesn't cap the way the rest of their coven's do but that's a story for another day.