#levi ackerman hurt/comfort

[rouge-variant]

Hello, I have another request. So cold Captain Levi X cadet reader (canon universe) in an enemies to lovers setting where the reader is secretly depressed and Levi starts to notice that she's not her usual self who likes to irritate him beyond reason as she's become very distant, snappy at her fellow comrades, is eating less and often sits up in the mess hall until 3am on the verge of crying etc. Then he decides to do something about it and get her back to her usual self. I'd preferably like this with a lot of hurt/comfort for the feels, as well as angst and fluff. Hope that's okay, thanks :)

Ok these kinda stories get me all the hecking time. I love emotionally destroying myself but there needs to be a happy ending, like this one. It's very angsty but fluffy at the end. So hopefully I got this right. I'm really sorry it took me so long for this but here you go. Thanks for your request and I hope you enjoy!

Trigger Warning: Due to the nature of the plot, there is mentions of self neglects, eating struggles, weight loss, emotional instability, depression. Please keep this in mind while you read. And if anyone is struggling, I'm here to listen 💜

Levi Ackerman x Reader: Dark Clouds

"CAPTAIN!!!!" Your voice boomed down the empty hallway. Levi was just about to enter his office when he heard you and already the headache set in. He shot you a very, VERY, annoyed look.

"If it's another one of your stupid questions, I'm slamming the door in your face" he growled through clenched teeth and you giggled shaking your head.

"No, not yet. I'm running errands for everyone since I'm going to Trost today and I came to see if you want anything" you calmed down a little, much to Levi's relief. However, you smirked internally as he gave you a list, completely overlooking the fact you said 'not yet'.

"Alright. I'll grab those. Oh and, another question. Do fish drink water?" Your giddiness came back as you watched the small bit of shock flash across Levi's face before his eyebrows furrowed in thought then narrowed down.

"Get out of my sight before I make you" he groaned and you laughed retreating down the hallway.

"Have fun thinking about that Captain!" You called, knowing very well that it would stay on his mind for the remainder of the day.

Your smile faded as you mounted your horse and left the courtyard of the Scouts headquarters. A dark cloud settled over you and your eyes drooped as the sads returned to you.

"Couldn't have let me enjoy that a little bit more, could you?" you muttered to yourself. There was no response, just like always. You weren't sure when this little black cloud grew over your head and decided to settle there but it doesn't seem like was going away any time soon. The only time the sad, empty feeling wasn't hanging around was when you were with your friends, both within the squad and Hanji. Levi made it go away completely while the others only numbed it. That's why you always were hanging around to bug him. Picking up on the light teasing that Hanji did as well as small things to get any sort of reaction out of him. If he didn't like, he would've told you right?

The errands gave you something to distract your mind and a few hours later, you returned to HQ with everything you set off to find. You had found everyone but Hanji and Levi. As you went to check Hanji's office, you could pick up on the low murmur of Levi's voice and the less enthusiastic voice of Hanji.

"I don't understand why she needs to behave so immature. If she has this much free time then why isn't she being put to work?" Levi grumbles. Hanji just shrugged and continued to listen to his rant.

"She's never bothering you or anyone else like that so why me? I'm busy enough dealing with Erwin, papers and my squad. I don't need her pestering as well" you felt the dark cloud begin to loom over you again.

"Maybe she's just trying to give you a break. Something else to focus on so you don't go mad with work. She cares about you Levi" Hanji defended but Levi clicked his tongue.

"As if. She's just another annoying idiot I have to put up with. I don't need her care nor do I enjoy it. It's better if she just stays away and let me be" his tone was sharp.

"She's not annoying. Sooner or later you'll figure that out too. You'll miss it once she's gone" Hanji sighed.

At this point, you wanted to return back into town and disappear. Your chest was tight and it took all your strength not to break down, right there, outside of Hanji's office. You took a moment to gather yourself before knocking three times and opening the door upon Hanji's call.

"There you are! Right on schedule, you got my goods? Oh please tell me you did!" They greeted you excitedly and you nodded, matching her energy despite your dark mood.

"Yup, everything is all right here!" You passed them a package wrapped in cloth and their eyes light up in excitment.

"You are an angel! Thank you my dear!" They smiled and you chuckled a little.

"And for my favourite Captain, I have your new ink and pens" you passed Levi another package wrapped in cloth and he took it with nothing more than a nod of thanks.

"Oh c'mon Levi, don't be such a grouch" Hanji scolded, their tone no longer playful and he rolled his eyes in response.

"He's in a mood. Again" they huffed and you shook your head.

"Isn't he always? I think he's just grouchy he ran out of ink last night " you teased and he shot you a glare that sent a pang of hurt to your chest. He's never been that agressive when your teasing...but then again you overheard their conversation earlier so maybe it was a good time to shut up.

"Anyways, I'm suppose to help with dinner tonight so...see you guys later" you smiled and left. Your behavior went unnoticed by both of them as Hanji was already excitedly unwrapping the package and Levi's mind wandered back to what Hanji had said.

"She's not annoying. Sooner or later you'll figure that out. You'll miss it once she's gone" What did they mean by that?

The moment you were out of the room, your body trembled with silent cries. You covered your mouth and bolted to your room, locking it and backing up to a wall. You slowly slide down it as you became numb to everything. There was no cold radiating off the wall, no rough feeling of the ground, no wetness from your tears as they trailed down your face. You felt nothing. Not after the harsh reality of hearing Levi saying, himself, that he couldn't stand you. It hurt and it hurt worse knowing that now, there was no way that you would be able to continue fighting against this dark feeling. How could you when the person you cared about the most, never expressed his displeasure to you? Instead he lead you on, let you develop this feeling of love for him and crushed it all when venting behind your back.

You felt like you were drowning. There was nothing left for you to cling to, to keep yourself from being pulled into the cold darkness lurking around you. Your sobs remained silent so no one could hear you cries for help. You wanted to go back in time, and just interrupt their conversation before Levi told the truth. Just let you live a lie for just a bit longer. To be happy for just a moment longer. But no, the world was against you and you felt the cold darkness pull you down. You felt everything slip away as your mind turned on 'autopilot'. You were needed in the kitchen in twenty minutes so you quickly freshened up and went to help. The main cook never interacted with you which helped you just get through the two hours of preparing meals for the rest of the Scouts, getting through the large stack of dishes by the sink and putting them away before returning to your room. Where you curled up under your blankets and eventually feel into a restless sleep.

Days slowly turned into weeks which turned into months and Levi questioned why you were suddenly gone. The papers that you tended to deliver was done at a time when he wasn't there, your voice was no longer calling out to him with another stupid question, you weren't sneaking snacks with Sasha during the evening. You were gone and everything around him was...lonely. He hates to admit it but he does miss you. Does he hate you? No, he hates the mushy lovey dovey feeling he feels whenever your around him. How could he become a mess just from hearing your giggle or seeing your smile. You make his heart flutter when you interrupt his train of thought by poking his cheek with the cap-covered pen. There's a strong stab of guilt as his mind replays what he was venting to Hanii about. Hanji understood what he was trying to say, only because they've known him for so long. But...you didn't, which probably explains your disappearance. Hanji was right, he never saw you as annoying but he hurt you before he was able to understand what they meant.

Your barracks was now his destination as he left the comforts of his office and went to see you. Having no plan whatsoever, he approached your hallway and paused seeing Sasha and Mikasa outside your door with a tray of food.

"You cant do this to yourself! Just let us help please!" Sasha begged, knocking on your door continuously. Nothing came in response and her shoulders shook as she started crying.

"Open the door please...you're hurting yourself" Mikasa's voice was equally broken as Sasha's emotional state.

"It shouldn't matter to you. If I don't want to eat, you can't make me. I said I want to be alone. So go" your voice snapped at them both and Mikasa sighed, placing the tray at your door.

"If and when you need us, you'll know where to find us" Sasha said, making sure you heard it before telling you goodnight and following Mikasa back to their barracks.

Once they had left Levi went to your door. There was a faint light that shone through the cracks and there was very little movement. He did hear the uneven breaths coming from your exhausted form. He tried knocking but got nothing in response.

"I know you're in there. It's pointless to hide there" he called out before knocking again. This time he got a humourless chuckle in response.

"Oh wow, you can to check on me. I'm so honoured" sarcasm laced your voice but it wasn't the same playful tone that you used to use with him.

"Of course I did. You're in my squad and you've been skipping out on training and assignments so I came to make sure you weren't getting in trouble " Idiot, he scolds himself. That came out wrong. He came to check because he was worried but stubbornness got in the way.

"You haven't cared before, why start now?" You hissed and it sent him aback. He could hear the hurt in your tone and could easily visualize the tears threatening to spill down your precious face.

"I didn't just start to care. How blind are you?" Again, too agressive and hardly comforting.

"You're wasting time. I'm not leaving here. Just leave" you snapped, just like you did to Sasha and Mikasa. He opened his mouth but thought better of it. He sighed and returned back to his office.

Work was hard to concentrate on because your hurt voice kept ringing in his head. He wanted to change it but he couldn't say the right thing and was only hurting you more. Hours passed and three chimes rang from his little clock on his bookshelf. Only getting through a third of his usual production, he heads to the messhall for a break, only to see that a small flickering candle set on the table that you used to join him at during this time. This is when you would poke his cheek, headbutt his arm, any of your silly overtired antics while you both waited for the tea to steep. But now, you sat alone covered by a blanket, starring at the old wood of the table. Your thinner body shook with each breath as you fought back sobs. He was able to see a sad smile on your face for a few moments before it fell and you covered your face with the blanket it and let out a strangled sob. Levi felt his heart shatter. He's seen multiple soldiers broke down but never you. Not your bubbly self. He clenched his jaw as he told your quiet scoldings, shamings directed at yourself for letting you get this way. Why were you beating yourself up over his own mistake? Because you didn't know it was your mistake. And he was going to find a way to fix this.

The next day, you woke up to the soothing scent of tea in your room. It was sitting on your bedside table and a little note with Levi's writing;

"You missed last night, so I brought you some for this morning" short and sweet but it almost drew a smile from you. Your body was cold from the loss of weight so you gladly accepted the warm liquid into your system. You didn't understand why he was doing this but, for now you would ignore it. The next morning, yet another tea cup was there waiting for you as was a note.

"Still didn't show...nearly fell asleep while waiting for the tea. Don't blame me if it's too bitter" the tea wasn't bitter, it was as delicious as always but the note troubled you. Why has he been waiting up for you? You slipped the note in the drawer with the one from yesterday and went to get ready for the day. Each morning, there was a new note and tea. But how he's been starting to add snacks too. You attempted to reject it but with you missing dinner, your body needed it if you weren't going to pass out every time you stood up. You were never sure when Levi came to drop off the treats since you didnt sleep very long anymore but he did it without fail each day. Your heart squeezed painfully with every note. Your feelings getting the better of you and a small spark of happiness started to build but the dark cloud quickly put it out. Autopilot took over and told you to stop accepting the treats, to only take what's necessary to survive each day.

The first day of seeing the tea untouched, made his body flood with fear. He thought you were slowly accepting him back but what did he do to stop that. By day three of rejected tea and treats, he decided to wait in your room until you woke up. He couldn't figure out a different way to get you to talk so he settled on this. He still brought you tea and snacks, before settling on your desk chair. He waited 20 minutes before you woke up.

Your eyes went to the tea before seeing his form seated by the window, looking out of it.

"Captain..." your voice crumbled upon seeing the concern flicker across his face and having him come towards you. You put your hands out in front of him and turned your face away from him.

"Don't! Don't c-come any c-closer please!" You yelped and he froze in his tracks. You looked like a frightened animal. A kitten to be specific. Doing as you asked, he stayed away, moving back to the chair and sitting down.

"Easy...I just..wanted to see you" he admits, watching you closely.

"Stop lying!" You begged and he shook his head.

"I'm not lying. It's been four months without you being with us at meals or training or having you with me in my office" he continues slowly and you shook your head this time.

"Please! Just stop this. I can't keep going through this!" Tears rolled down your face as you looked at him. His face feel seeing your thin face glisten with tears.

"I can't keep getting close to you only to have you shut me out and hate me. Either you care about me or you don't. Make up your mind!" You pleaded and his eyes widened a little. So you've been feeling like that. Great job Levi, great job.

"I do care about you. And I know it hasn't been made clear and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said with Hanji before you came in. I'm sorry for being so unclear with you. I'm sorry for pushing you away" he said softly, tone quiet compared to your cries.

"But I promise I will do everything I can to help fix this, I just need to know how I can help you" his eyes showed that he was telling the truth, that this wasn't going to be another game but even you didn't know how to help yourself.

"I'm too broken" you murmur, looking down.

"I'm sad all the time for no reason, it's hard to stay happy when I'm alone. I've hurt my friends while they've tried to help....what's wrong with me?" You chuckle dryly and wipe your eyes furiously.

"Nothing is wrong with you. It's just what depression is...its common in this line of work but there is ways we can help you" Levi called your attention back to him.

"I have it, Hanji's had episodes, almost everyone in the Scouts have experienced it in some form or another" he assured and it helped to calm you a little.

"But I'm scared. I've tried to fight it but it doesn't go away" your eyes bore into his and he gives you a steady nod.

"So have I. But I can't fight it by myself either. That's why I talk to Hanji all the time or Erwin when he isn't busy. This isn't something you can fight on your own. I will listen to you and help if you want...if you don't want me to help then I'm sure Sasha or Mikasa will be willing to help. Or we'll find you someone else" he promised and you nodded slowly.

"This doesn't make me think any less of you. You're still this amazing woman who's works so hard for everyone in the Scouts and for me-" he knew this wouldn't be the time for a confession but yet again his mind said otherwise.

"You're still the woman who I keep falling in love with every day" your eyes widen at the statement. He's still looking at you, his pale cheeks now glazed with a blush.

For a moment, you feel the darkness disappear and you smile. Your real smile. Your bright happy smile.

"Thank you Captain" your voice doesn't waver while you speak and Levi relaxes a little. Even if this is just for a moment, it's good to see you back to your normal self.

"Levi, when it's just us" he corrects and you nod.

"Thank you Levi"

Starting from that point, he was by your side while he helped you get back onto a proper diet. His hand squeezed yours with each bite of food you ate and he rubbed your shoulder and soothed you when you couldn't eat as much or had an off day. There was a chair reserved for you in his office. Despite his displeasure, the chair had one of your teddies and colorful blanket draped on it. Sure it didn't match his office in the slightest and Hanji teased the hell out of him, but it also made him smile knowing that you had reached this level of comfort to where he's one of your 'safe' people.

The table once occupied by just you, had returned to both you and Levi having your late night tea and conversations. Sometimes about the way you felt over the week, other times about the weird new fact you learned with Hanji. Sometimes just sitting in silence until he questions why you're pawing at his arm or cheek like a kitten. Which is also why he now calls you 'Kitten'.

It took you another two months before you had gotten back to your usual self. Amends were made with Sasha and Mikasa and both girls were happy to see you back to the way you were. But the was still one more thing you wanted to do. Levi had proven that he wasn't going to suddenly break this off and leave you hurting so you finally gained the courage to do this. While he was working, you crawled over to his chair, resting your head on the armrest and pawing at his free arm.

"Are you actually acting like a cat now?" He realised an eyebrow and you mimicked a meow and he rolled his eyes before signing the paper and placing it aside to give you all his attention.

"What's wrong kitten" he patted your hair and you smiled.

"I love you Levi, thank you for fixing everything" you hugged his torso and he blinked before pulling you up to hug you properly. Not once did he think he would hear you say it back to him. Not that he cared whether or not he would hear you say it back but his heart fluttered upon hearing it.

"You did most of the work on your own, I was just here on the sidelines. You've made me so proud Kitten. I'll always be here to help you...I love you so much" he pressed a kiss to your forehead before tucking your head into the crook of his neck. You still had a ways to go but you've come so far. And like it or not  Levi wasn't going to leave your side.

[starrylevi]

Levi doesn’t get how you find The Sims entertaining.

 “It’s a virtual dollhouse.” He tells you. “That’s what so great about it!” You retort. “Whatever floats your boat…” He mutters to himself. He says this but he makes sure you have all the sims 4 packs (there are A LOT of them). And when one is coming out, He’ll listen to you passionately explain the premise of the pack. “When it comes out, just let me know.” He’ll give you his credit card info so you can charge it as he doesn’t want you to spend any of your money.

“I made us in the Sims!” You excitedly sit in Levi’s lap with your laptop in hand.

“Hm?” Levi places his chin on the crook of your neck as his hands gently graze the sides of your thighs.

“The Sims!” You exclaim again. “Look, there’s you and there’s me…” Your finger points out each of your sims on the screen. “Oh, and we have a child together!” Levi’s eyes follow your finger as you point at the child sim. “Her name is Kuchel.”

You feel Levi tense up behind you for a moment. “Wait…what’s her name?”

“Kuchel.” You repeat, quieter this time. “Sorry, I can change her name if you don’t feel comfortable with it.” You add quickly.

Levi’s expression softens; he stays silent for a moment before speaking again. “...Can you make her?” He asks you quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Your mom?” You turn slightly so you can see his face.

He nods to confirm.

 “Of course, I'll do my best.” You tell him with a soft smile.

You ask Levi to describe her to you, his eyes filled with fondness as he recalls her features and her personality. You spend hours on the Kuchel sim, wanting her to look and be as accurate as possible.

After a few days, you show Levi the finished product in the game as you have the Kuchel sim interact with the Levi sim. You look at Levi for a brief moment while the Sims are speaking to each other. The expression on his face is hard to read. It’s a mix of pleasant surprise, awe, and sadness.

“Is it okay, is there anything I should change?” You ask him, worried you didn’t capture her likeness as you watch him study her.

He silently shakes his head. “No…she’s perfect.” 

You tell Levi he’s more than welcome to play whenever he wants. You’re surprised when he does take you up on that offer. He picks up on the mechanics quickly and soon he has the whole family (Your sim, Levi’s sim, your daughter, and Kuchel) traveling all over the world, going on adventures, and trying new things together. At one point you suggest the Levi sim and the Kuchel sim spend some time alone together and Levi does just that, taking them to coffee and tea shops, having them take walks in the park, and going to the library. As you and Levi continue to play together, you learn more about Kuchel as some of the actions in the game trigger different memories of his mother.

Levi doesn’t say it but he’s thankful for this silly little game you introduced him to because he can now have a cup of tea with his mother, even if it’s only pretend.

[keigologies]

there are some nights that levi wakes up from a night terror, lungs gasping for air, hands clawing at his chest, fingernails scratching at his right cheek. in the wake of his fear, he forgets that he’s been blinded in one eye, he forgets that he doesn’t have to worry about anything anymore.

it’s done.

it’s over.

you are there, as you always are, sitting up in bed next to him, the blankets pooling on your lap, eyes bleary with sleep but steady. you grab his hand, press it tight over your heart, do the same with your own over his. you don’t say anything, just peer at him in the dark and will him to slow his heart, to catch his breath, to match both to yours. sometimes, it’s over quickly and levi lays back down with you, his face buried into your shoulder or chest. other nights, it takes him longer, the terror clutching him, digging its claws into him so deep that he can’t come out of it.

but you stay awake with him as long as he needs it. you smooth your hand over his hair, wipe his tears, hold him to you when he leans against you, the fight and the fear bleeding out of him at last. you whisper soft words of comfort into his jet black strands, some of them going gray from stress and some from simple aging (something he never thought he'd really get to do.) it’s done, it’s over. you don’t have to fight anymore, levi.

and this routine may continue for years and years to come, but you’re prepared to stand with him through all of it. you’ve both faced unimaginable horrors, stared down death more times than either of you can count on both of your hands. you’ll remind him. it’s done. he’s safe. there is no more fighting left to be done. now it’s just living, just loving. and that, you’ve learned in all your years with him, is something he can do.

keigologies 2023. do not translate, copy, or repost my work on any site.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Hi! I just love your levi fics so much!

For a request I was hoping for something like this -

Levi & reader had grown up together along with Isabel and farlan, when the group gets sent off onto their fateful mission levi thinks reader died alongside with Isabel and farlan. (Angst)

Only to discover years later that reader was alive and actually doing very well for themselves, well known and a strong fighter. Just a very cute reunion fic maybe? Maybe romance 👀 thanks! <3

🦅- Anon

this was an emotional rollercoaster I'm still crying babe but here you go, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do <3

Levi thinking he lost his sun forever only to find you again after years

Pairing: Levi x fem! reader

Word Count: 3,3k

Synopsis: It's been 1869 days since you were killed by the abnormal titan Isabel and Farlan lost their lives to as well, 1869 days of missing you and regretting that Levi didn't tell you about his true feelings when you were still alive. Little does he know you aren't so easy to get rid of and that you are still out there...

Warnings: death, blood, war scene, depression, full on hurt to comfort, super duper fluff in the end, as usual not proofread because I need to go to bed now hehe

Notes: Finally my first Levi fic after literally MONTHS! I know a lot of you were patiently waiting for more attack on titan content and I'm beyond sorry it took me so long babes. Please let me know how you feel about Attack on Titan content so that I might do more and especially regular fics in the future <3

He can’t take his eyes off you. To be exact, the sunlight suits your facial features so well that it seems impossible to ever let go of your sight.

You have been friends since he met you on that day exactly 6 years ago, when you tried to steal a load of food for a heavy pregnant woman. Since then, he was captivated by your beauty, your brain, your skills. But somehow, this makes the stinging fact that you sit beside him even worse.

“You shouldn’t be here, (y/n)”, he speaks out before he’s able to stop himself.

Immediately, your gaze drifts away from the dreamy scenery to him, eyes widen in surprise.

“What are you talking about, Levi?”

Don’t say his name while looking at him like that, not with that gentle tone in your angelic voice. He told himself over and over that you are nothing but a close friend, maybe considered family like Isabel and Farlan.

He huffs to himself. What a filthy little lie.

“This mission is dangerous. I don’t want you to get-“

“Hurt? Killed? You told me about all those things more than once and I’m happy to repeat myself again for you: I will not leave you, Farlan’s and Isabel’s side. After all, we are friends, right? And friends don’t leave each other behind.”

You gift him with your usual breath-taking smile while his heart skips a beat.

A friend.

He has to remind himself over and over again, force his orbs away from you. You are nothing but friends. And he will never risk to lose you over the potential of something more.

-the evening before the mission-

“I thought I’d find you here”, your teasing voice shouts from behind.

You are probably the last thing he wants to see this evening. Not because he doesn’t enjoy your company, but because he wasn’t able to convince you to stay in safety. Erwin Smith made it very clear that this mission is dangerous, that multiple survey corps member already died behind those walls. And even though you, Farlan and Isabel showed your skills countless times before, he can’t stop his train of thought. You, getting grabbed by a titan. You, getting ripped apart, your blood scattering onto the ground. He won’t have the chance to stay by your side during all times. One wrong movement, one thoughtless decision and you’d be gone.

“I don’t even have to ask in order to know what you’re thinking about right now, Levi.”

The second your hand brushes over his shoulder, he is too lost in the feeling of your bare hand against his shirt to worry any further.

“You don’t have to worry about Farlan, Isabel and me. After all, you’re the one who taught us everything we know.”

“Tsk. You were already doing fine when I met you.”

“But you were the one who showed me there is still hope, something worth fighting for. If it wasn’t for you, I would have died down there without ever seeing the sun once in my life”, you reply.

All of the sudden you place your hand on top of his and squeeze in gently. That look on your face, is it…Affection? He shakes his head firmly, doesn’t allow himself to get lost in that oh so sweet idea. A woman like you will never fall for a cold-hearted man like him, not when the whole squad fell head over heels for you the second they got to know you better. You are a true sweetheart, everyone’s favorite, a ray of sunshine. He, on the other hand, is none of that.

“Stop praising me or else I’ll puke and make a mess onto the freshly cleaned floor.”

No, he doesn’t deserve your kind word, doesn’t even deserve that spark in your eyes. You are better off without him, even as a friend.

“You’ll gonna clean it up anyway”, you bite back with a wide grin.

“Actually, there is something else I want to talk with you about, Levi.”

The sudden change in your voice paired with the warmth of your hand leaving his lets his gaze wander to yours again – only to catch you already staring.

“What is it?”, he questions instantly.

“If you have to decide between Isabel, Farlan and me…Just promise that you’ll safe them before even thinking about my ass. Please look after them and don’t worry about me.”

His eyes widen just the tiniest bit, reveal his surprise and…his resist. Not thinking about you, leaving you behind? The urge to shake you becomes almost unbearable when he grabs your arms passionately, gaze locking with yours.

“There is no way in hell I will ever leave you behind, dumbass. Don’t you dare to die on me, got it?”

“Promise”, you urge.

“Promise you’ll look out for them first.”

“(y/n)…”

He has to close his eyes in order to stop staring at your perfect lips. This might be the last time he ever sees you alive so unbothered by his side, the last time he witnesses the way the dim moonlight lights up your hair.

This…might be your last night alive.

“Please, I can’t live with the thought of being without them. They are still so young.”

“What about you, though? What if I don’t want to live a life without you? What if I die myself?”

You smile at him sadly, your hand caressing his cheek oh so gently.

“We all know you won’t die out there, Levi. It’s us who might not be here with you tomorrow. After all, that’s why you wanted to stop us from coming with you, right?”

He swallows hard. Every single one of you is a skilled fighter. Hell, you even survived the underground with countless enemies chasing after you. But this? This is something completely different. For the first time since getting to know all of you, Levi isn’t so sure about your abilities anymore.

“I promise”, he replies with low voice.

“Thank you”, you breathe out.

“Now, let’s get some sleep, shall we? We have a big fight ahead of us.”

Oh, there is no doubt in the fact that Levi won’t close his eyes this whole cursed night, pondering about a way to safe all of you. But even though you are very aware of that, you turn on your heel and smile at him one last time.

The brightest smile of them all, making your face gleam in nothing but affection.

“Oh, and Levi?”

“What is it, dumbass?”

“When I was talking about the sun earlier…That sun was you.”

And then you’re gone in the dark, leaving him with his heart almost beating out of his chest and feelings clustered all over the place.

Him, your sun?

-the battle-

Your eyes widen in sheer horror, the violent scream escaping your lips not reaching your ringing ears. Those powerful orbs…There is no doubt in the fact that this is her, that this is Isabel. Tears stream down your face uncontrollably, mix with the bitter coat of rain that sticks to your face uncomfortably.

Your friend is dead. And you were not able to protect her.

“You.”

The monster standing in front of you doesn’t look like the other titans you’ve seen before. Eyes red like crimson, lips curved into an evil grin. This thing is absolutely aware of the agony it causes you and enjoys every tear you cry.

You grab your blades even tighter, narrow eyes fixating its nape.

“I will make you suffer”, you press out through gritted teeth.

“I will make you regret that you even touched her!”

You dash forward only to get greeted by thin air. Fuck, this thing is so fast you didn’t even realize it was gone until your blade crashed into the muddy ground. Why do your hands suddenly start shaking, your knees felling weak? It’s just you and that thing. The other corps members around you? Scuttered onto the floor in bloody pieces.

Levi?

You escape its clutches by a hair’s breadth, the monster’s stinging smell of death and rotten flesh making your guts turn. You need to focus, need to control your fear and anger. Otherwise, you’ll die just like all the others did.

Levi…Is he dead as well? There is no one around, no one showed a single reaction to your multiple cries for help, your signs. Maybe you’re the only one who’s left. Which means that Farlan and Levi are gone.

Levi, gone? Fuck, you should have told him about your true feelings yesterday, you should have pressed your lips against his like you always dreamed about. This was the last opportunity to tell him how much you love him before both of you die.

And now it will be forever too late.

Just when you’re about to dash forward, the arm of the titan yanks towards you with breath-taking speed. Your eyes widen in sheer horror as all you can do is stare in sheer disbelief.

Is this how you will die? Through the hand of an abnormal titan, eating you alive?

You always dreamed of a life on the surface with Levi by your side. Maybe a small cottage on the edge of a busy city close to a river. Having a little farm with a few animals here and there, Levi working for a local business while you stay home and care for your home. For a brief moment, you allow your eyes to rest, to get lost in the life you will never have.

If only you had told him sooner. Maybe then it would have been different. Maybe then you wouldn’t feel your bones crack against the sheer force of the titan’s flat palm, throwing you into the air like a ball.

As soon as your body hits the ground, everything goes black.

-5 years later-

He opens his eyes against the way too harsh sunlight. Another night he hasn’t slept more than 2 hours. Day 1869 of missing you.

“Good morning, Captain Levi!”

He doesn’t even care to reply, feet carrying him down the hallway monotone. His days have always been the same since the day he lost Isabel, Farlan and you: Getting haunted in his sleep, waking up alone, surviving another day in this living hell. It’s almost ironic, how he already hated the world when you were in it. Little did he know how much worse it would get when you’re gone.

There is no day since back then that doesn’t revolve around you. You, with your hair down in the sun. You, beating up some tuff guys and showing them their place. You, that fucking cursed night before you had to leave.

Until this day, he hates himself for not being there. By the time he arrived, everyone was dead, brutally murdered by an abnormal titan. And even after searching for your corpse for hours in the pouring rain, he didn’t even manage to find a single limb left of you. This should be a good sign. After all, it might mean that you somehow managed to survive.

“The chances of (y/n) surviving and managing to flee on her own are 1 against 500.000”, Erwin said back then.

Maybe it would have actually felt better, knowing that you’re dead. Maybe this would spare him from getting haunted by your giggling and fucking gorgeous face each and every night.

But…If getting haunted by your presence is all he has left, he shouldn’t complain about it.

“We are heading out today. It is said that there are countless abnormal titans roaming around a city nearby”, Erwin explains briefly.

“How the fuck did these things even manage to get in there?”, Levi grumbles in response while taking a sip of his way too hot tea.

“That’s not what I care about. What I’m more interested in is the fact that a group of villagers managed to trap one of them.”

Levi can’t help but put his cup of tea down while Hange bursts out in sheer excitement next to him. A group of villagers, trapping an abnormal titan?

“Former corps members?”, he questions.

“Apparently not. Maybe they are interested in a new job”, Erwin replies, getting up from his seat and straightening his uniform.

“We are leaving right now.”

“Right now? Over some brats who were lucky to not get eaten by that titan?”

“You can’t deny that these ‘brats’ have to be skilled in order to trap an abnormal titan, Levi.  Also, I heard the head of them is a woman.”

Levi huffs to himself. Skilled, huh? Lucky is definitely the better fit.

You sink your blade straight into the eye of the disgusting creature lying in front of you, watch in sheer satisfaction how it squeals underneath.

“Hope you enjoy that as much as I do”, you mumble, twisting and turning your sword painfully slow.

“(y/n), d-don’t you think that’s enough? What if it escapes?”, the man next to you cries out, holding safe distance between himself and the abnormal.

“So what? Listen, you little shit. If you even try to escape, I will kill you without even blinking, got it?”

You rip your blade out. In, out, in, out until everything around you is covered in crimson.

Just like back then.

You stumble back when a wave of nausea hits you. The sight of Isabel’s lifeless head, her limbs scattered across the muddy floor. Back then, you weren’t able to save her, weren’t even able to save yourself. If it wasn’t for your crew, you’d be dead by now. Just like her…

“Hey.”

“How about you take a break for a sec? You’re drifting off again.”

Her gently voice pulls you out of your nightmare just like her tender touch. Petra has been the greatest support since that fateful day. In fact, the only reason you are still alive is her. When she found you, you were already on the brink of death. Only due to her passionate and long-term care, you learned how to walk again, learned how to fight again.

“Sorry”, you mumble, allowing yourself to rest for a moment against her strong shoulder.

“(y/n), I’m sorry to interrupt you like this but…We spotted members of the survey corps?”

“The survey corps?”, you repeat in sheer disbelief.

Rage starts flooding your veins in an instant, forcing you to pick up your blade again. If there’s one thing you will never forgive the survey corps for, it’s the fact that they left you standing in the rain. The countless people who died with the wings of faith embroidered onto their jackets, eaten alive by a titan while your desperate cries for help remained unanswered until this day. For Erwin Smith, you were nothing but canon fodder, nothing but a bait. And you will forever hate him over the fact that he is partly responsible for the death of Isabel, Farlan and Levi.

You storm in the direction your scout sighted them, jumping from tree to tree in order to catch them by surprise. You will definitely not tolerate survey corps members around your area, especially when you just caught an abnormal titan to study and torture.

“There they are.”

Their disgusting green cloaks fill you with thick anger, almost force you onto the ground to knock every single one of them out. But you know all too well this isn’t the way to go. No, you will wait here until the right time comes to throw yourself at their captain.

There are five of them, walking towards the direction of your village. Just wait a few more seconds until the one who walks ahead is underneath you, one second and you…

You lunge yourself at the person with full speed, forcing them to the ground. Him, to be exact. That firm chest exposes all too urgently that you just attacked a man.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind, brat?”, he barks at you, rough hands grabbing your wrists so tightly that your bones threaten to shatter.

You aren’t able to defend yourself, though.

That voice, the way he called you brat.

Is it really possible that…

You allow your eyes to look up at him and for a moment, time seems to stand still.

“Levi.”

You breathe his name out like a prayer, as if your dream might become reality. These grey and unbothered eyes look just like you remember his, the dark hair framing his face oh so perfectly.

“Levi, is that you?”

He can’t comprehend his feelings. Just a second ago, he was under attack of a stranger. But your eyes aren’t foreign. They hold the spark he dreams of each and every night, the memory he cares about so deeply. Is it really possible, that…

“(y/n).”

Everyone was so sure that you died on the battlefield, that the titan must have eaten you alive without leaving any remains. But maybe there was nothing to remain. Maybe you actually did manage to survive. Is it possible? Is this really you?

“I thought you died.”

Your voice is nothing but a fade away whisper, tears streaming down your usual so composed face like rivers when your memories begin to crash down on you like a house of cards. All those years, you were convinced Levi lost his life on this battlefield as well, that you were the only one remaining. But now you’re sitting on top of him, taking in his clean scent while he glares at you the way he used to.

“Everyone tried to convince me that that fucking abnormal ate you back then, that there is no chance you survived. Now look at you, dumbass”, he breathes out, very own eyes now coated in a thin layer of glimmering tears.

There is no time to waste. With a swift motion, you lunge yourself at him again, wrap your arms around his strong torso as if your life depends on it while resting your head against his chest and crying your heart out.

Words will always fail to express how much you missed him, that you thought about him each and every night since the day he was taken away from you so roughly. But now, you will never let him go again. Now you won’t waste another opportunity to tell him how you really feel.

“I love you, Levi. I loved you since our days in the underground city, I loved you through all these horrible years of grief. I love you. I love you”, you finally blurt out.

“I love you too, (y/n). I always did.”

Gently, he rests his hand against your nape while lifting your chin up with the other.

The second your lips meet, your world feels complete for the first time. All the pain, the grief, the things you had to endure. The countless nights of imagining him right by your side, the thought of never seeing him again. And now he’s here, right in your arms while kissing you so passionately that you fail to breathe.

“I love you”, he repeats so softly that your heart melts away like butter.

“I love you…”

“I finally found my sun again”, you smile against his lips.

You snuggle yourself onto him even tighter, your grip around his torso firm. Oh, you will definitely never let this man go again. Not after it took both of you so many years to meet again, not when he’s all you ever wanted.

Levi Ackerman, the love of your life.  

“Who’s that woman throwing herself at you from a tree and then getting a smooch from you?”

“Shut up, shitty four-eyes”, Levi barks at the person standing behind him.

Tags:

@hellkaiserinphoenix  @chilichopsticks @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld

@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain (hope you noticed I actually named reader's bestie after you babe) @polarbvnny @kentocalls @kayleegomez

First divider by wonderful @cafekitsune - check out the banner I used here!

Second one as usual from the best @saradika-graphics - I worship the ground you walk on honey

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

OK I WAS TOO UPSET TO WRITE THIS BUT NOW I AM ONLY MILDLY UPSET SO I WROTE IT

Your Worth | Canonverse Oneshot

✧ word count ➼ 1.3k ✧ notes ➼ canon!verse, hurt/comfort, negative self-talk, levi being comforting in his levi way

The door to your office flew open. It was already well into the evening. Nearly everyone should have returned to the barracks. You were hoping to have some alone time to process and catch up with paperwork. The previous few hours haven't been easy and you were coping by drowning yourself in tedious work.

Your body tensed as you heard Levi's distinct footsteps step into your office.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked sternly.

You put your pen down as you slowly looked up at your visibly agitated boyfriend. You had an idea as to what got him so upset, although you hoped it wasn't the case.

"What are you talking about?" you asked quietly.

He was holding a few sheets of paper in his hand. He placed one on your desk in front of you. Your heart sank upon reading it.

It was your request to the Commander to be removed from Levi's squad. You had submitted it early this morning, putting in substantial effort to get it to the Commander's office without Levi catching on.

You took the page from him roughly, frowning.

"Tch," you muttered in irritation. "He showed you?"

"It's my fucking squad, of course he showed me," Levi scolded.

You didn't respond. You knew he had a point. It was Levi's squad. He was the Captain. Of course he was going to find out sooner or later.

"Why are you requesting to be removed?" he asked with a gentler tone. "Did something happen?"

It wasn't like you to just suddenly do something like this. He had noticed that you had been acting differently or have been more reserved for the past few days. He had been expecting something to eventually happen, but nothing as extreme as this.

"_____," Levi nudged you once you didn't respond.

After a while, your lips finally parted to speak.

"I'm..." you mumbled quietly, "I'm holding you back."

"Ah?" Levi muttered, genuinely not expecting those words to come out of your mouth.

"You heard me. I'm holding you back," you reemphasized. "Everyone you had chosen for your squad is skilled with the gear or has a high amount of Titan kills and I'm just...me."

He took the paper back from you and set it to the side, sitting on your desk as he looked down at you as you sat in your office chair.

"...the fuck do you mean 'just' you?" he asked, although he already somewhat knew the answer. He knew that you were frequently plagued with feelings and thoughts of inadequacy.

You knew that he knew.

"What do you want me to say?" you exclaimed, frustrated beyond belief. "No matter what I do, there's someone that's better at it. There's someone with more kills, faster times, more respect, or whatever! No matter how much I try, no matter how much effort I put in, I will never be the person that someone goes to for help. There isn't the One Thing™ that I'm good at where someone would be like 'hey, _____ should be the one you ask for help from'. No, I'm always in the fucking background and being dead weight, so that is why I requested to be discharged from your squad. The last thing you need is to have me drag you down."

Levi was silent the entire time you rambled, never taking his eyes off you as he listened.

"You done?" he finally said once you stopped speaking.

You scowled at him again.

"Get out."

Levi promptly got up, but instead of walking out the door, he walked around your desk to where you were seated at.

"Get out!" you repeated, raising your voice.

"Not until you tell me that everything you just said was bullshit," he said sternly.

You clenched your jaw, frustrated. You wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear, but you couldn't lie to him. You did legitimately believe in everything you just said, in every flaw that you had just listed.

You groaned in frustration as you buried your face into your hands while gripping at your hair.

These feelings of inadequacy were not new. Feelings of never being good enough and your fear of failure was something that was just drilled into you as a child. You were always being compared to others and you eventually developed a worldview that made you feel like you had to "earn" your right to exist by being good at things. Not only that, but you had to "specialize" in it, which made it so that anytime someone else came along that was just as good at if not better than you at something, you felt like your entire life—including your right to live it—spiraled out of control.

Levi gently placed his hand on your shoulder.

"Hey," he said quietly.

He shook you a little bit once you didn't answer or move.

"_____, look at me."

You slowly leaned back from your desk to look at him.

Before your eyes could even focus properly on him, he gently flicked at your forehead.

"Quit pitying yourself," he said as he scowled.

You rubbed at your forehead, which was now slightly red as you pouted at him.

The pout was a good sign for him. It meant you were listening to what he was trying to say, despite how strong those intrusive thoughts were being.

He knelt down, so that he was eye-level with you, gazing at you with gentler eyes.

"What started this?" he asked quietly.

You looked away, but he immediately grabbed your chin and turned you towards him so that he was making eye contact with you.

You tried to resist against his grip, feeling incredibly embarrassed that he was still able to read you like an open book. You had prided yourself as being able to mask well to not be a burden to those around you, but that was never the case around Levi. You hated and loved it at the same time.

You sighed in defeat.

"I just heard some of the prospective recruits talking and mentioning who in the Scouts they looked up to, and I guess it was foolish of me to even think that my name would be mentioned, but a dumb part of me hoped that I at least contributed something, something to be remembered for if I died," you began rambling, taking a deep breath to keep your voice from breaking as your frustration and self-hate threatened to boil over. "But there isn't, is there? As far as everyone else is concerned, I'm either your partner or just another soldier. I'm not anyone special-"

"Cut that shit out," Levi scolded, not giving you a chance to finish your rambling this time.

You stopped talking, but looked at him with hurt in your eyes.

"I know how important external validation is to you, but the cadets are talking out of their ass and you know it," he said as he looked intensely in your eyes. "You know they don't know shit about what any of us actually do—and it certainly doesn't warrant you requesting to be discharged from the squad."

He sighed and let go of your chin, instead moving to gently place his palm on the side of your face, allowing you to take comfort in his touch. It at least helped ground you when you felt like your emotions were taking over your entire world.

"You're worth more than you know," he said gently before pulling you in and gently placing his lips against yours, lingering for a few seconds until he felt you relax into him.

He placed his other hand on your thigh and gently squeezed as he slowly began to deepen the kiss before finally pulling away and resting his forehead on yours.

"And if I have to remind you of that every single day of your life, I will."

ok this was cathartic, ty to anyone who took the time to read :3 #: @chaotic-on-main @romantichomicide95 @lovolee3 @svftackerman @levisbrat25 @leviismybby @idkks4m @moonmalice @elnyrae @sleepyfairyxo @averysmolbear @cathybarn @tclbts @belovedackerman @bejewelledd @fuyulvr @sad-darksoul @levis-squishy-cheeks @roseofdarknessblog @anviacker @aam1na @luvjiro @noctemys @sixpennydame @dumbfound-princess @raenacreates @deepzombieyouth join my taglist!

[selarina]

Dusty-Eyed Thief

-> Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: He was a thief, she was a princess. Can I make it any more obvious?

Content Warnings: royalty!au, enemies to lovers, fluff, banter, a budding forbidden romance, class differences, strained father-daughter relationship, mild violence, very unedited

Words: 3.5k words

Author's Notes: I know the Levi fandom is dead but I wrote this so so long ago, figured I'd give it a place here

The kitchen is your sanctuary. It engulfs you with its tranquility, the blaring sound of clanking pots only adding to the rhythmic routine of it all.

The steam from the cooking dishes hugs you on this cold, cold night as you weave your way through the maze of workers. You smile as you're hit with the first blend of splendid smells. You make your way further into the kitchen to find the buttery treat that's meticulously packed by Niccolo and placed beneath a hidden, faulty tile on the floor. Niccolo is truly a blessing sent from the Gods.

Despite its tranquility, it is an unusual place for a lady to spend her time, yet you frequently find yourself here – costumed in an apron, playing the part like you belong.

At first, you were naturally worried about being caught, but that only lasted for a spare few minutes as you soon grew accustomed to the sequence of it all. And you found that while dressed as a commoner, you were nearly invisible in this castle. You took full use of it, maybe to the point of misusing it.

A few workers recognise you on occasion, but they refuse to report you to the King in an attempt to protect their own peace. Arguments between you and your father elicited a barrage of petty retorts, coming in from both ends, which heavily affected the workers that were unfortunate enough to be witnessing it.

You're certain your father would not approve of your ventures, despite the peep of fondness he has reserved for you. Actually, you're convinced that it is deep disdain he holds for you; it's only been coated with fondness to suit his purposes.

You actively have to stop yourself from thinking about him; you do not want those thoughts to permeate through into your sacred space. And besides, you have to stay alert.

Applying gentle pressure on the strings, you open the package to discover that he made you some cookies today. You have to contain yourself from jumping in glee, settling for a wide grin for now.

You want to procure some milk to have with the cookies. You close the package, although not packing it fully as you place it near the nearest window. It seems safe placed in a fairly unoccupied corner of the kitchen.

As you return with the milk, a pair of hands cover your eyes. The hands are roughly placed against your eyes, and you feel out worldly for a second — blank, confused, intrigued before you push him off, digging your nails into the culprit's hand.

You hear him yelp before you catch his face, the culprit. He is a boy with dusty blonde hair. He pulls his hands back into his chest, soothing it over with his other hand.

Another deep voice reaches your ears, and you perk up, your eyes flitting over to the open window as you try to find him. Was that window always open? What is happening?

“Why do you keep making this easy for us?” The other man's voice is adorned with pure mockery.

You’ve never moved faster in your life. (Well, except for that time you were on the verge of being traded for an assassin’s payment.) You rush up close to the window, looking down before you see him, he's standing on… you're not sure. He seems to be standing on thin air, but you know that is not the case.

Your eyes flit over to his blue eyes; you find hints of green in them as you stand there for a second, just staring at him. You're not sure what to do. He's probably a thief, a thief with pretty eyes. As you stare you think his eyes might be green, although you conclude a moment later that it could be a play of light. You can't tell if his eyes are green or blue.

He’s handsome too; you made that conclusion as soon as you saw the rest of his face, and you curse yourself for thinking that when you’re literally in front of a thief that has stolen your only source of joy. He's standing beneath you, but he holds a gaze that makes you feel like you're being towered by him; he seems a bit intimidating. Instinctively, you mold your eyes to mirror his, sharpening them as you were taught, as you practice.

You feel liquid trickling down your hand, and you realize you’ve dropped your milk. You only make note of it when feeling his eyes trail down.

You immediately rush to squat down to pick up the broken pieces of glass; you do not wish for any of the kitchen staff to get into trouble, although you are certain they will when they have to tally up the kitchenware by the end of this week. You make a quick note to discreetly pay Hange to buy it and replace it for you.

In your haste and state of disorientation, you prick your hand against the pointy edge of a fallen piece. And you instantly curse yourself.

"PRINCESS," Niccolo yells out to you, and your identity is out within mere seconds. You can guarantee Niccolo would have been more discreet if the situation hadn't been so strenuous. You look down and see a tinge of vermillion seeping out of the cut in your hand.

You look up to catch a glimpse of the two men, who appear to be leaving amidst the chaos. You see them in your peripheral sight, but you’re too late by the time you turn to look, all you witness is a retreating figure, making it out the window with a swift leap.

You are waiting for the sound – his body hitting the ground, broken bones, anything.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five seconds, and still nothing. You scramble to the window, only to see trees and utensils that are washed and stacked on a white cloth left to dry under the scorching sun.

“It’s the princess, get the doctor," a couple of kitchen staff make it to your side.

There’s an immediate sense of panic seeping out from within you. You’re certain your father is going to make your life difficult if he were to find out, which would happen if you were to be tended by the palace doctor. The prickling sensation grows; you need to see a doctor. You decide you’ll deal with it.

You’re also plagued with a sudden sense of intrigue. You can’t place it quite well, not at this moment, but you want to know what the color of his eyes were. You want to ask him why he stole your food but also, you want to be him. In most ways, it's all you've yearned for. You want to leap out that window and disappear into nowhere, wherever that is.

—

You run straight towards the arriving horses. You're greeted with a smile and a frown. You focus on the smile, one that adorns your brother’s face, giving him a quick hug before you move to face the frown. "I heard about your little culinary mishap, my dear. To make reparations, you are to attend the ballroom event tomorrow evening, and you must ensure that you do not flee as you have done these last several times that you believe I have not noticed," your mother’s voice is stern, declaring it as finality.

You decidedly agree, knowing you will find ways to leave halfway through the event, and she will ignore it as she always does. For, unlike your father, she does not believe you to be the bane of her existence.

"Now, come here and give me a hug, my lovely and incredibly irritating daughter," as though she was reading your mind and cementing your notions about her.

You reach your arms out to embrace her. You place your chin towards the crevice of her neck and you’re hit with the smell of rose and iris, maybe even amber. It smells distinctly the same as when she embraced you after the first of your many disagreements with your father. You remember how you kept a straight face during the altercation, but immediately broke down at the sign of him finally leaving, only to find comfort due to her presence.

“I shall arrive at the stupid ballroom floor and I shall look pretty doing it. I shall catch the eye of every person in the room and you will forgive me for any mishaps I will ever commit. Won’t you, mother?”

“You’re to catch the eye of every person at a secret debutante, are you?”

“Debutante? Why is it a secret?”

“It’s a secret for it adds an element of sincerity, does it not? Your brother can court an honest woman.”

“I hardly think any woman’s honest in a society that is designed against the very notion of honesty, and especially not in a room that is swarmed with eyes waiting for any acts that are even slightly misplaced. But, I do wish you the very best, brother.”

“Thank you for your wishes. If opportunity permits, we may even find someone for our dear older sister. You’ll be next in line for picking then. Isn’t that ever-so enthralling to hear?”, the mockery reaches your ears crisply. Maybe much too crisply, because you find your mother glaring up at him.

You laugh at that, knowing that you are within the shields of the walls of your castle, but most importantly with your mother.

“I implore you to take your time, brother. You will need it to court for a suitable wife, would you not?” You try to hide your obvious nervousness at the breach of a topic you have been avoiding for much of your life.

“I suppose you are right, sister,” he looks down at you with a reassuring smile.

You do not want to be tied down by marriage any time soon. You have yet to process the fact that this is not your forever home. Your forever home is beside a man that sees you as a china piece to display, apparently. But you find brief solace in the fact that you come from the most reputable family in this kingdom and you will not be disrespected in any form, for it would not bode well for them.

—

The ball is the pinnacle of opulence. It's primarily filled with tones of rose gold, complementing the white and golden hues of your ballroom. You sense the presence of grey and teal amongst the crowd; you presume they're worn by accolades to instate their titles. The royal family, on the other hand, is required to constantly stand out, which is why you find yourself snug in a golden embroidered gown.

You suspect your mother has overstepped the mark with her preparations. You move the curtain that separates you from the ballroom slightly to catch a glimpse of her. Her strong and ethereal countenance reveals little about who she is, simply asserting that she should be feared and admired in equal measure.

You think of your sister’s tales of a knight in shining armor that might have reached you, if only for a fleeting moment, it’s enough for you to believe that maybe you could find a man who is respectful, charming, and filled with the tender ache to cherish you and only you, always. It only lasts for a transient moment of weakness. You’re drawn back to reality when your sister reaches for your arm and loops it with her own.

"You look absolutely lovely," she remarks, as a matter of fact, whilst sporting a sweet smile. "Who are you, and what have you done to my unlovely wretched sister?"

"Very amusing," you quip promptly as if it's habitual to do so.

"Sister, if you were to stray away early this evening, I certainly would not ask for you to procure some pastries. Although, I would most definitely not mind them after a night as strenuous as this.”

“Only if you help me escape”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” she quips letting go of your hand. She has a faint smile on her face as she straightens her posture. And just like that, she transforms herself to be the elegant first daughter of the King, the one every maiden in the kingdom is taught to be like.

“You look radiant, sister. I’m sure there isn’t a man in this kingdom who wouldn’t fall head over heels to court you, and yet again, I implore you to take your time. I’m not saying this for my sake, not this time at least. I hope you find a kind man, the one you always told me you wished for” You try to smile, but it is hard to ignore the bleak truth that’s hidden within your words.

“Thank you for saying that” She seems to sense it too but her smile doesn’t waver; in fact, it grows, as though your words made a difference to her. That would be a first. You too can’t help but genuinely smile.

After about an hour of dancing and chatting away with people, you find that it would not be that hard for you to escape all on your own. You’re not the first diamond of a daughter or the most eligible bachelor of this season. You’re the second daughter and fourth child of the royal family that people will worry about impressing next season.

To not frighten your sister, you make it through the swarm of men waiting for their turn to dance with her; you inform her that you will take your leave, as discreetly as you can. You meet your mother’s eyes one last time before you leave. Every single time you escape you try to meet her eye, just to catch her when she sees you leaving but somehow you’ve never caught her.

You make your way to the kitchen, briefly showcasing your teeth to perform the act of duplicating a smile at every passerby that meets your eyes. There are a lot of people. You're frankly exhausted and your head is throbbing. Maybe some tea will help with the ailment.

You know that there won’t be kitchen staff present there since there is an exclusive kitchen for events as grand as this since it requires a massive scale of utensils.

You make it and it is murky. You reach out for the candle holder, placed at the entrance. You wince at the coldness of the brass. It holds three candles. You light all three of them, with muscle memory.

"Is your hand okay?", you hear the same deep voice and you frantically look around to spot him.

"Where are you?"

"Princess," you hear from behind you. This is honestly more frightening than the stuff you've read from your brother's atrocious shelf of literature.

You compose yourself. You will not falter and show weakness in front of a thief. "You are to greet me with respect. I am of the royal family," you punctuated every last word.

"I called you princess, didn't I?", he walks over to face you eye to eye, face to face.

"Gray'', you blurt out. You blurt it out far too quickly to calculate the embarrassment it would cause you. You feel it but you don't show it. It's one thing being part of a higher society has taught you.

His eyes are a stark sterling gray and that was rather unexpected to you. You thought about it extensively, maybe too extensively for the last two days. You concluded and expected it to be either green or blue.

His eyes remind you so much of thunderstorms. You happen to like them. They're distinctly heavy in color, but there's a variation that resonates something akin to…gentleness?

You're not why you're focusing much too much on his eyes, but they are beautiful and you could stare at them all day and night if you were allowed to. Maybe that's not an exaggeration.

"What?" he blurts out, rather confused. His eyebrows are bunched together like he's trying so hard to make sense of what you said. You refuse to bring ruin to your already faltering dignity, so you ignore the questions altogether to make room for your many questions.

You do not like not knowing things, not having reasoning for things. It bothers you immensely, for everything has a reason, does it not?

"Why are you here? Why were you here yesterday? Why did you steal my food? Do you do that often? How did you survive the jump?” Not giving him time to interject, you continue with your ramblings. “I have been thinking about what you said to me yesterday and it came to my attention that you implied this act of yours happens often. If so, why?"

This person bores a blank statement to their face. Either his facial features are impaired or he’s blatantly disrespecting you.

"You will answer me," you beseech him to answer. No, you're insistent. He doesn't budge, so you assemble all of your memories of your mother's severe glances to replicate it. You demand.

"Yes, I do it frequently, and no, I'm not answering the rest of your questions." You wait for a few seconds to see if he would budge. He does not.

"What motivates you to steal anyway?"

He stares, "Why was a princess like yourself dressed in a commoner's clothes?"

"I inquired first."

"I think you're more interested in my response than I am in yours." His eyes glint as he ever so slightly smirks, "Would you really like to play this out?"

"Very well. Just wanted some sweets really.” His mouth twitched upwards at the sight of you losing your temper. What a haughty man. “Does that answer satisfy you enough to answer mine?”

"Okay, princess.” He tilts his head a little when he mentions your title, it doesn’t sit right with you. And his tone is only a little condescending, you ignore it.

“Well, go on.” You urge.

"I was stealing food for my fellow people. The cookies were quite delicious. We thank the royal family for their utmost generosity," he says. His face is blank as you’re left baffled. You don't have time to be annoyed by his obvious mockery for something that could be seen as trivial as your long-gone cookies, for you find the way he said it interesting, to say the least.

"What do you mean?"

"Hmm? Dunno, we wanted something to sweeten the whole meal of dust and dirt we had for lunch. Do you get it now?” For the first time, there’s a hint of annoyance with you.

“I’m sorry. I–” You pause, your posture slackens for the first time today. “I don’t understand.”

His brows raise, but his face remains blank. “Yeah, I don’t expect anything else from a ditzy princess with all of her dresses and her little castles.”

You cinch your brows, “I am not ditzy,” you enunciate every single word of that sentence.

You only get a little dumb when you’re angry really and you’re trying not to get there right now as you force yourself to breathe through your nose. For some reason, you feel the need to prove you’re smart and capable. It’s odd, this may be the first time you have felt this way. You don’t generally feel someone asking for more of you. They expect you to be ditzy, not the opposite. “And we only have 3 castles…” Your voice trails out as he stares back at you. You said the wrong thing, you know how shallow you sound. You think his eyes must be hurting with the way he seems to narrow them down in judgment, every time you seem to speak.

“Well, since you seem to have 3 castles. You wouldn’t mind if we decided to take a small share of what you have, would you?”

“I don’t mind, I didn’t— I don’t— Uh—” You hear a noise, someone’s outside the door. You swivel your head to look.

No one. Nothing. An empty corridor is all that meets your eyes.

You sigh as you turn back, only — you see nothing. Your eyes squint around skimming the dimly lit kitchen. It’s almost like you were talking to a ghost of a man. Only the plain utensils and leftover food seem to be proof of his existence.

You blink in confusion, your heart racing as you search the dimly lit kitchen for any sign of the gray-eyed man. "What in the world..." you mutter to yourself.

[the-milk-anon]

aot recommendations

works by suz 💚 @ackermans-freedom-inc​

fluff

canon!levi | the scouts try to set levi and reader up

roommate!levi | him pining over reader

modern!levi | reader and levi are the 104th’s teachers

modern!levi | reader has a fear of intimacy

modern!levi | reader tells levi she’s pregnant

modern!levi | levi gets jealous

modern!levi | levi takes care of depressed!reader

levi | your son disappears

levi | he takes care of breastfeeding!reader

angst

canon!levi | levi has amnesia and forgets pregnant!reader

hurt/comfort

canon!levi | reader disappears during a mission

canon!levi | arranged marriage

canon!levi | reader gets stuck in a blizzard

levi | reader cries after sex

smut

canon!levi | sitting on his face

canon!levi | he gets jealous

canon!levi | pegging

modern!levi | getting cockblocked by your son

modern!levi | he gets jealous of the reader’s actor crush

virgin!levi | unexpected confession

sub!levi | he wears thigh highs for reader

sub!levi | “wanna be your good boy.”

multiple parts

canon!levi | reader almost drowns (part 1)

canon!levi | reader almost drowns (part 2)

check out their ao3 as well <3

[happybird16]

Delicately cradling Levi's chin in your hand, your palm is gentle against his sweat-and-ash soaked skin. His breath hitches beneath your soft touch, his lone eye fluttering with exhaustion even as his chest continues to heave from the stress and exertion.

"D-don't," he protests shakily. Despite his words, his bandaged cheek presses heavily into your palm. His words are faint, barely audible, carrying a tone that speaks of his immense weariness.

“Let me,” you insist, your voice filled with a gentle determination. With the utmost care, you bring your thumb to Levi’s lips, lightly brushing away the blood that has stained them. Each stroke is deliberate and tender, conveying a profound sense of concern, empathy, and a heartfelt desire to alleviate his pain. To help in some small, insignificant way.

The pain reflected in Levi’s eye tugs at your own heart, causing your breath to catch, a sharp sensation piercing between your ribs. In a soft plea, you express your heartfelt desire, whispering, “Please just- just let me take care of you.” The words are whispered with genuine care and compassion, assuring Levi that he doesn’t have to bear his burdens alone.

As Levi's protest subsides, his shoulders droop, a visible release of tension. A prolonged breath shudders through his weary frame, causing his muscles to finally relax. It's as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and he finds solace in surrendering to the momentary respite. The physical and emotional strain he had been carrying begins to dissipate, allowing his body to ease into a state of much-needed calm.

Leaning even closer, Levi’s lips gently graze your palm in a tender kiss, a gesture filled with gratitude and appreciation. As his eye locks with yours, the stormy grey hue that once mirrored his tension now appears lighter, less burdened. In that moment, his expression reflects a genuine sense of relief and comfort. With heartfelt sincerity, he whispers, “Thank you.”

[kikarouflames]

Cold heart and warm hands.

♡Levi x reader♡

⭒Tags: nsfw, smut, depressed reader, hurt/comfort ,emotional sex

⋆Tw: depression, self hatred

Your days go by, months pass and seasons change there is not much that can convince you there is any meaning in living.

Stress from day to day life leaves your mind totally in disarray. No matter what the season outside is your heart and mind is clouded by misty grays. You are almost invisible to this miserable world, where people live and provide meaning to their worth. You are here lying in your bed, watching and observing the mundane life, no one makes your heart flutter or nothing is there that would make you believe that life is as worthy as they say.

But there is this beautiful raven haired man, who is the only one you're close to.

He is the only person that adds meaning to to your life. You both met on a random day.

He sat by your side in the train you were taking back to your home, the place that seems so empty and caves the hallow of your heart even more. He asked if you're okay, you were in fact not. You were crying just some hours ago over pitiful things, beating yourself up. You couldn't hold it in, never having someone to tell your misery nor your fear. This stranger gives some unfamiliar sense of trust that you have forgotten long ago, when was the last time someone asked you if you're okay. You broke down and told him everything that is not right.

He sat there, heard you and when his station arrived he passed you a note with his name and phone no. You can't believe someone who actually listened, and sat there not judging you. The weight that lifted of your chest was something you didn't even knew was there.

Levi Ackerman,  his name. It's beautiful just like him. The note said, call me if you want to talk more, not to be a creep or something just a stranger who wants to help. I understand.

You were incredulous at first, your scars from broken trust are aching again, but this stranger, Levi, he seems so reliable. You think to yourself, it is weird to trust someone this much when you have just met. But you take a step forward, ignoring the burns from the chains that always held you back. And reached for him.

Since then, The magnificent black haired men brightened your days,

Since then, the grays in your life were not painful but loving.

Everytime he talks to you, there are emotions. You can feel. Damn, you can finally feel. It's beautiful, even if only for a moment.

He kisses you like you are the most delicious fruit. He treasures you like your the most worthy and precious thing. He worships you like you are his God, the greater being. He looks at you like you are the only sight the warms his gray eyes.

His hands are so pale, but these hands holds your entire life with a care that no one provided you with.

☆Nsfw part:

He sees you there, sitting at the corner of the couch. Darkness of this room can't compare to the darkness that has nestled its presence in you. He hurts to see you with that same look again. He yearns to see you smile, your face in deep pleasure, no pain in the world can touch you. The only pain he will allow is one of pleasure, on your consent.

He walks to you, you are once again questioning the rigidity of this world. He swoops you in his arms, you yelp. Mist scattered, light has chosen you again, under the gaze of the loving eyes.

"What are you doing?" you ask,with a soft giggle

"Nothing, can't a man coming back from tedious work has his treat, hmm. Can't wait you see your beautiful self under me, darling" Darling , you blush a little at the choice of his words,

"I missed you", he says quietly in such a soft voice. You look up, his eyes, they look....sad?... why?

He is sad, that he can't be there for you every moment of the day, heal your wounds, disappear the mist of self hatred and doubt. He is so devastating by the thought of you suffering alone.

"I missed you too", you say, voice almost breaking.

You missed him so dearly, you don't want him to look sad...oh, it in you to infect everything with your woe and throw perfect moments in rue.

He takes you to bed, gently puts you there. You are focused on him, he is focused on making your days bright again. From the moment he saw your eyes he was bewitched, in a sense of beauty behind the vulnerability you offered him that day, since then the more he got to know you the more he started to like you. There is something about your broken self, that for him is a perfect. He likes you for who you are, he likes that you have the unique qualities and interests, that you are more human than he could except.

He kisses you so desperately, not like a man hungry , but a man who is devoted to his God, to kneel and worship at your alter. Desperate to tell you how much he loves you, how your insecurities doesn't matter to him. How he would give anything to plant the seed of hope in your heart. He feels happy just by looking at you. More glad if he is the reason behind your smile. He needs to make sure no thought hurts you in this moment he is here.

He fingers you, makes you moan and leaves you needy for his cock, and then he kisses all the beautiful textures on your skin, kiss you forehead. He slips his cock in and watches you face melt and glaze over with pleasure. With every thurst there is, the more you forget worries, the more you become your self, the more you feel real, the more you want to just lie there and cry and not in sadness but overwhelming happiness.

He thrusts at your sensitive spot, you moan loudly, "you look so beautiful when you are like this, you make such pretty sounds" you whimper.

"You feel so good" he moans lightly ,"fuck,you are some dear to me, what would I do without you?" his voice is so sincere, you open you eyes, see him above you, panting, eyes focus on you and utterly devoted. He drills into your wetness, your eyes and head rolls back.

his pace increasing, he runs his hands through your hair and grips them gently and lifts your face making you look straight at his gorgeous face, " you, Don't you ever hide what's bothering you from me." His voice so serious and his weight of words so evident.

He hits the spot with extra pressure, you are so high up in the heavens, his words almost pulls you back, tears flows out of your eyes carrying all the pain away with them.

"Do you understand ? I am here for you, nothing will ever hurt you, dear." He says looking directly in your eyes so lovingly. You cry in pure happiness and relief. You can trust him, he will be there.

"I understand" you say, in a voice so broken yet so soft.

He smiles ," good girl" and kisses your forehead, nose, chin and finally on your lips. This time the kiss can almost melt you.

The ecstasy explodes, you come. And Levi comes just tad later. You both go some more rounds, for now there is just him. The only shade of gray in your life that has ever given you this immeasurable joy is staring back at you, and looking at you like the only thing that ever mattered.

His slender fingers massages your scalp, your eyes roll back, he smirks and kisses you breathless once more. He wraps your body in blanket and tells you all the wonderful things that melts the coldness in your heart, the warmth feels so familiar it's almost a dream. His hands are so warm, no fireplace will ever compare. You both entangle and become one. Nothing ever mattered more than this, life never felt so beautiful before.

[rouge-variant]

Hello, me again lol! I would like to request a Cold Captain Levi X cadet femreader fic for body ache and back pain comfort. You can decide on how it pans out. Fluff, angst and especially hurt/comfort would be much appreciated. Hope that's okay, thanks :)

Funny you brought this up...I was thinking of doing this after hurting myself earlier but you beat me to it. Here's another one!! Thanks for your request and I hope you enjoy!!

Levi Ackerman x Reader: Annoying Aches

Trigger Warning: Mentions of pain meds, body aches, there's an awkward moment between you and Levi as you point out where the pain is. Please keep this in mind while you read.

Muffled noises of outside the window fill your ears as the fog in your brain slowly leaves. You groan, not wanting to wake up yet and you shift a little, trying to get comfortable again. However, a weird sharp feeling settles in your chest. You ignore it and roll onto your back but it strikes again and you find it difficult to breathe. Your blood runs cold as you force yourself to sit up. The pain runs down your side, up to your should and ending where your shoulder meets your back. Sitting up makes it easier to breathe but it does nothing to ease the throbbing or the fear building inside you.

Your whimper goes unheard as your room is empty. Levi's spot on the bed is cold, it has been for the past two hours as he had to take over training for Miche who's out with a concussion. You can't make out what time the clock, on Levi's bedside table, reads because tears are blurring your vision.

Normally you can handle a bit of pain but you just woke up, your mind isn't up to speed yet and it hit so suddenly that everything is just overwhelming to you. Your mind is coming up with worse case scenarios like, "Did I break something?" "Am I having a heart attack?" "Was I attacked last night?". Every thought continues to spiral and feed the flame of your anxiety.

Using your good arm, your right one, you wipe your tears and try to calm your breathing. Using the sheet to wipe your eyes, you then look down at your body. There's no blood, so you weren't attacked. But the pain is only getting worse. So, you fix your sleepwear to the best of your abilities and leave you shoes loose, unable to tie them before heading to the infirmary. Might as well go now right? Before the pain becomes unbearable.

The medic greets you and gets you settled before asking you a few questions about your pain.

"When did it start?", "Have you had this before?", "Have you been injured in this area before?", "What have you've been doing up until this point?". Your voice is small when you answer. It's not helping that the medic is a larger, intimidating man who gives nothing more than a grunt in response to your questions. He scares you more than Levi when he's in a poor mood.

Without even touching you, the medic reaches a conclusion.

"Its just strain on your muscles. It'll go away in a few days. Just rest it and you'll be fine" his response is blunt and his tone was uninterested. He gave you nothing for the pain, simply dismissing you and going back to organizing shelves.

You walk stiffly back to your room, your back and chest beginning to ache more. You're blinking back tears yet again as you fumble with the door to get back into Levi's office. Once inside, you let your tears fall and your cries break past your lips. Each broken breath hurts your chest more but you can't help it. You feel so small, so vulnerable. The medic did nothing, then pain keeps growing and you just want to curl up in Levi's embrace. You want to hear his voice, want to let him help you solve this, make everything ok again.

You walk back towards the bedroom, not noticing the tea set on Levi's desk or the quiet rustling coming from the bed. You open the bedroom door more, gaining the attention of the raven head currently making the bed.

"Good, Y/n you're back. I know you like it when I make the bed but di-" His playful scolding about making the bed halts, as he sees your rosy cheeks wet with tears and hears your small cries.

"Hey, hey, hey. What happened?" He came over and you face planted into his chest, your arm on your left side unable to hug him with causing more pain so your right fists the back of his shirt. He isn't how to hold you, seeing your obvious discomfort so he pulled away a little and cups your cheek instead.

"Use your words, I can't help if I don't know what's going on" he says softly. Whenever you're in this kind of mood, he knows very well that he needs to baby you a little. Just until your breath calms and tears stop rolling down your face.

"I hurt...my back a-and my chest and-d my arm. But t-he medic didn't help a-and I'm s-scared a-n-" he cuts you off, understanding enough for the time being.

"Alright, here. Let's get you something to drink" he guides you back into his office, getting you to sit up on his desk chair and quickly going to the bathroom to fill an empty cup with water for you. He passes it to you and you take a few slow sips before putting down. Levi takes the cloth from his pocket and gently wipes away the tear stains on your face then kisses your cheek. He fold the cloth, placing it back in his pocket and leans against his desk.

"How are you feeling now, pain wise?" He asks. The water as well as the proper posture you have while in the chair, helped a little. Levi being here helped to calm you down as well.

"A little bit better...but my chest and back still hurt...its sharp, like I'm being bitten or scratched....but I can't really describe it and...it uh..hurts here mostly. Front and back" your cheeks flush a little as your good hand rests lightly over your breasts. Levi hums, not externally phased by the placement of the pain. Internally he's a little embarrassed at having to look at that area since it's part of the 'no looking zones' but you guys have done more intimate things so he knows you're comfortable with this, it's just awkward at the moment.

"The medic said that it's a muscle strain but...why does it hurt this bad?" You whimper a little.

"Your body can't tell that it's something minor. So instead it overreacts to prevent any further injuries" he explains and comes closer.

"You need to stretch it out. Will you let me help?" You nod and Levi guides your sore arm up above your head and starts to pull gently so it moves over your head and makes you lean. The stretch is strong and you yelp at him to stop. It feels like you've bent over a lot more than you actually have.

"You big baby, open your eyes" Levi sighs in slight disappointment. You've hardly leaned over that much and when you open your eyes, you can see that. You give him a nervous giggle and he rolls his eyes. He's teasing you. It works as a distraction and relaxes you a little more so you can stretch more. Once you're done with one side, he helps you do the other. By this point, you're able to move a bit easier now and the cold fear in your body, fades away.

"I'm going to go and get you some pain meds, you should go have a hot shower, relax your muscles more" he insists and you nod.

Stepping into the warm water feels nice. The water droplets were a little sharp against your tender spots but it eventually calmed down that area. By the time you got out of the shower, your body was less achy. Levi had already returned and was waiting for you on the bed. There was a glass of water and a pill. A big pill. Bigger than the ones you take for headaches and other aches. You scrunched your nose at it and pouted at Levi.

"Looking at me isn't going to make it smaller" he chuckled.

"But you could cut it in half maybe, you asked, giving him big eyes.

"I thought we moved on from that" he raised an eyebrow and you huffed.

"You're mean" you grumbled before swallowing the pill, grimacing at the way it slid down your throat.

"If I was mean, I wouldn't bring you medicine or be here to help you" He pointed out and you shook your head. You face planted in his chest again and he smiled a little.

"Did you want me to rub your back a little?" he offered and you nodded. He sat on the edge of the bed, you were seated between his legs. His fingers started near your neck and slowly worked down to your shoulder then down a little more before starting at the top and repeating the cycle. He was extremely gentle, skipping over any spots that had you squirming or yelping to stop. He hummed while he worked, filling the silence with an old melody he remembered.

"How's that?" Levi asked after a while. The meds would've taken effect by now and his soothing touches made the ache almost non-existent.

"Better" you leaned against him and his arms hugged your waist.

"Good. Let me know if things get worse. I'll take care of you" You nodded.

"I love you Levi" you sighed happily and Levi pressed a kiss on your neck.

"I love you too"

[levmada]

"it would take a very specific combination of events to witness Levi cry" - can you elaborate or maybe conjure such a sequence leading to witnessing him cry? i feel like if anyone could do crying levi justice, it's you gee.

//ocd symptoms

he HAS to be at his wit’s end. completely broken down by grief to the point that there's so much of it that he thinks he's feeling nothing when he's actually overwhelmed. he has slept eight total hours the last week. he's been drowning himself in work as a result...

perhaps getting chemical burns and sores on his hands from cleaning obsessively—something that helps him unwind at good times but becomes his enemy at the worst because it never feels like enough. he's up at night sweeping the same floor he swept that day because the thoughts are out of control, because he himself has lost control.

(I personally headcanon him not with contamination-ocd but he likes to clean and his anxiety factors in. patterns and perfection give him a sense of comfort and control when it's bad and he feels the need to do more. taps the doorknob after he's locked it, taps his teaspoon a number of times against a cup of tea he made because otherwise his mind is convinced it's poisoned; if he doesn't buckle and unbuckle each one of his ODM belts before going out to training somehow everyone he trains with that day is doomed to die... for examples.)

the point is the habits appear when it gets bad. you notice these. trying to confront him on working/cleaning too much in efforts to steer the conversation into the direction Levi has been dealing with for a week or so now makes him snap at you. normally, Levi isn't the type to raise his voice in spats w you, and the last thing he really wants is to hurt you, but he's being petty to try and push you away. so you don't have to deal with him, to see that he's weak, and he's extremely stubborn about his own independence. asking if he needs help makes him feel pathetic, and so he reacts defensively.

the bottom line is that he hurts you. you choose to give him space, which only gives Levi's grief and self-loathing more room to fester. he's ashamed, and he's so sorry, but he doesn't know how to fix it. his common insecurities become world-ending for him.

and it's probably a minor inconvenience that makes him crumble. he accidentally drops a dish or he folds a piece of clothing wrong the first time and suddenly it's all coming down on him.

thing is, Levi still won't reach out. no matter what, he wants to take care of himself on his own, and refuses to burden anyone because he's supposed to be strong. it infuriates him to be pitied, even though he's in desperate need of comfort.

it's sometime at night when the normal workday is over. you see him again by some obligation like delivering him some papers to sign, and he's of course not any better, but stone-cold and silent. the bags under his eyes speak for themselves.

if you try talking, he's just going to be distant, and angrily confronting him on his recent behavior just confirms what he's been thinking, so he wouldn't argue this time; he comes off aloof and vaguely disinterested when he's really devastated until you at some point leave.

i feel like to get Levi to cry in front of you, you treat him with a silent act of kindness without him asking. like you put away some dust rags he left sitting out for his convenience, but that's not where they normally belong, or you spot an empty teacup on his desk and take it to the sink to be washed.

he's going to glare and ask why you did that, he didn't ask you to, when he really means he doesn't deserve it. instead of arguing or consoling, you plainly ask if he's eaten dinner or not... something so mundane that makes it hit him how bad he's gotten and how much you care.

and he has nowhere to run. no work or errands and he doesn't have the heart to snap again. all that's left to feel is horrible. he swallows visibly... and you coexist for the next few hours, making sure he showers and eats by setting out fresh clothes and making him something. you give him the option, that's all. there's a hard lump in his throat as he stands under the shower spray—he's holding himself together by a thread.

it's really when there's no distractions left, and it's dark. you sort of coaxed him into bed by being there with the sheets untucked after he's out of the shower. you might say, "Why don't you come here?"

and so he lets him do what he needs. climbs into bed and lays with you there in the dark. he feels your steady proximity for the first time since he's been feeling so anguished. meanwhile those familiar dark thoughts are urging him to get up because suddenly he could swear something hasn't been cleaned or something's just the tiniest bit wrong, and he can't stop thinking. but you're right there.

he's actually silent in the embrace you brought him into, which he didn't agree to nor disagreed to. and suddenly the levy just breaks. like the dam that has been cracking over weeks crumbles, and throaty, near-silent sobs begin to wrack his chest, and then his shoulders.

in the dark, with someplace to hide like under the covers or with his face in your neck, he cries. and before he can remember how urgent it is to pacify himself, your hand sinks into his hair and you bring him closer... and you say something, like, "It's okay... I'm right here," and then he's bawling. after so long pushing you away, he's suddenly clinging on as if begging you to stay. they're ugly sobs that are loud enough to hear from the hallway even as he muffles himself in your neck. you comfort him almost wordlessly by stroking his back and telling him to let it go, that you can't imagine how hard it's been for him, and telling him everything he's needed to hear the whole time without realizing it.

so.

tldr; i think he'd have to be overwhelmed... at his very wits end. only when there's no possible way to deal with it by himself anymore and he doesn't let himself break. he just shatters.

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[staar5384]

A Death Too Soon

levi x gn!reader- they/them pronouns- hurt no comfort- slightly ooc levi

"You cannot make them go on this death march with you," Levi glared at Erwin. "We cannot lose two elite soldiers to this."

"I understand how you feel, Levi, but if I let you both stay behind you know exactly what the cadets will think."

"Then tell them that they are helping me! Make them go check over the wall, anything!" Levi had never dared disobeyed Erwin's command, but with your life on the line he was willing to throw everything away to keep you alive.

"Levi-"

"Don't act like I'm stupid. You know damn well you could lead the cadets without them."

Erwin sighed. The Commander looked exhausted, and clearly Levi's nagging wasn't helping, "I realize your personal feelings play a role in this, but you need to push those aside. You understand the situation we're in, right?"

Levi clenched his fists, biting back the sharp words that were threatening to pour from his lips, "You know nothing Erwin. Don't act like you do."

"Commander? Levi, what's going on?" You rounded the corner after hearing the slight commotion.

"Nothing. Get back to the-"

"He wants you to kill yourself alongside himself and the recruits."

Your eyes widened, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"The only way to create an opening for Levi is to have us charge straight towards the Beast Titan. I have to lead the charge or else the recruits won't do it. You have to come as well. If I allow you to stay with Levi, they might see it as some sort of favoritism, and they may be less likely to do it."

You just stared at Erwin, stunned. Out of all the stupid ass plans, this is what he came up with? He wanted you to throw your life away for this? On the slim chance that Levi kills the Beast Titan? "I can't do that."

"Come on, be reasonable right now."

"No! Are you hearing yourself! You cannot lose yourself and me in this same damn battle! We have no elites left, and we don't even know if Hange and their squads are alive on the other side of the wall," Your hands were now trembling and your head was spinning. You had grown so far past wanting to die for no reason. "Send me over the wall. I can sneak over without the cadets hearing. They won't even know I'm not there."

"I agree," Levi cut in. "I think that's a better idea."

"Well, it's unfortunate that neither of you get to make this decision. Get your horse ready, soldier. I need to speak to the others," Erwin left the conversation on that note, walking over to the crowd of terrified Scouts.

You lurched over, vomit spewing from your throat and tears falling from your eyes, "Oh my god."

Levi watched as you threw up the contents of your stomach. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears. The realization refused to sink in, Levi refused to believe you were going to die. What were the odds you lived that? They had to be so, so low; and Levi knew how low they truly were.

"Levi," You looked at him, tear streaks staining your face.

"You need to get out of here. I will deal with the consequences as they come, but please go," Levi was panicking now and he reached out to grasp onto your hands. "Don't do this. Do not let that maniac lead you straight to hell," Levi was begging. He had never done that before. How desperate was he to keep you alive?

"You know I can't do that. It would get me executed at the very least, Levi." The unfortunate truth is if you walk away from this, no one will understand why. They would see you as a traitor to humanity.

"I said I would deal with it! I-I can convince them you were more useful alive than a damn corpse in the middle of a field. No one would even know what happened here because they will all be fucking dead!"

You sobbed, resting your head atop Levi's, "I'm so sorry."

Levi teared up, keeping his eyes focused on the ground, "Please, don't do this."

"I wish it didn't have to be like this."

Levi paused, taking a deep breath. Losing Erwin didn't mean shit to him anymore now that he was losing you. "Me too."

"Hey, you two! Get over here!" Erwin shouted to them.

You pulled away from Levi, moving your hand up to his chin. Levi tilted his head to meet your eyes that were red and puffy from crying. You leaned down and kissed Levi, catching the Captain off guard.

Levi was stunned, but kissed you back. Your first and last kiss. When you pulled away, he was crying once more, "Please don't forget about me."

"I won't," Levi's voice cracked as a raging fire burned in his throat. "I promise."

You stepped back and slowly made your way towards the other Scouts, knowing that this was the last time you would ever see Levi Ackerman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n~ might make a short second part to this if people like it enough <3

[chaotic-on-main]

i want a rescue oneshot of levi saving me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gjdjyfjy you got it. I KEPT YOU ALIVE THIS TIME. :3 @humanitys-strongest-bamf

You'll Be Okay | CanonAU One-Shot (drabble? it's teetering between the two lol)

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x gn!Reader

☾ warnings/content ➼ soft crushing, being rescued (duh), blood, canonverse, fluff, slight hurt/comfort?

☾ word count ➼ ~1k

The abnormal came out of nowhere. One second, Levi was watching you smile back at him from your horse after a successful takedown—the next, he was watching in horror as your horse reared from a sudden titan hand sweeping down at you from the sky. You were thrown back onto the hard ground headfirst as your mare ran off to who knows where. Levi is quick to react, zipping from his own horse straight to the nape as the 15-meter titan bares down on your seemingly unconscious body. As always, his blade strikes true.

Once landed, he takes a quick survey to make sure there are no other threats. When Levi is satisfied, he makes sure to sheath his blades before bounding over to your still body. He swallows the panic bubbling in his throat from the sight of you. Blood runs down your face from a wound hidden beneath your hair and your chest heaves with ragged breaths. Levi exhales in relief because your moving chest meant you were still with him. But your pallid skin alerts him you need help, and fast.

Even without a titan in sight, being out in the open like this is a death wish. As gingerly as possible, Levi bends down to slide his arms under your limp body and lifts you up, your head lolling against his chest. He whistles for his horse, which rouses you against your wishes.

“C-captain?” You mumble, painstakingly aware of the throbbing against your skull. The smell of sweat and lemons permeate your senses.

"You're okay. I've got you." Levi feels your warm, sticky blood already seeping into his shirt. "Shit, you're bleeding a lot." You feel his heart beating hard against your head. It was a peaceful rhythm that threatened to lull you to sleep. Levi notices this and gently shakes you in his arms.

"Hey, keep those eyes of yours open. Stay with me now." You crack an eye open to the blurry sky above you, dots obscuring your vision. Your gaze flickers onto Levi’s face – it’s spotted with dirt, blood, and grime from the past 24 hours.

"Captain, you're really pretty. I think I like you." You let loose a giggle as you blink slowly. Sleep sounds so nice.

"Okay, you definitely have a head injury. Shut up, stay awake, and hold on to the mane.” He grunts down to you.

“Huh, what d-?” You barely get the words out before you’re heaved up on something – Levi’s horse. Your muscle memory kicks in and you’re quick to throw your other leg over the body but not without a hiss of pain as a flare of heat burns through your whole system. You grab onto the mane in tight fists to steady yourself, but you can already feel whatever strength you had left start to wane. Levi pulls himself on behind you and grabs the reins with one hand while wrapping his other arm around your waist to keep you from falling off. You’re too weak to mutter a thank you, and instead lean forward against the horse’s crest to bury your face into the coarse hair.

.

You must have blacked out because the next time you open your eyes, you see the dark underside of a leafy canopy. A groan escapes your lips as a flood of pain comes washing over you again, each wave worse than the last.

“Don’t move.” You hear Levi mutter somewhere off to the right of you. In your periphery, you see your captain with his back against a wooden trunk, his heavy-lidded eyes peering down at something below him. You also notice that you are not on the ground but lying on a thick branch of a large tree.

“What happened?” You wince as the words rip through your dry throat. Levi steps over to you as he pulls out a canteen, kneeling next to you once he’s close enough. Another groan slips out as you push yourself up on your forearms. Levi gently brings the cold metal to your lips and you relish in the even cooler water sliding down your throat.

"The titan came out of nowhere. I couldn't out run it, not with you in this state. I zipped us up here so you could rest before taking off again." Levi explains as he stares down to the ground. You follow his gaze and spot at least five piles of steaming bones sitting at the base of the tree.

"Oh." You bring a couple fingers up to your head, which still pulsed with pain. You feel a soft fabric wrapping tightly around your crown, a fabric you know all too well. The breeze blows through the trees and your eyes are drawn to Levi's cape flitting in the wind. It’s roughly ripped at the bottom and shorter than it's supposed to be.

"Captain… your cape." Your voice comes out hoarse and scratchy.

"Did you want to bleed out?" He quips back.

"Well, no but- "

"Capes are replaceable, you are not." He stares hard at you. Only when the inevitable heat from his comment flushes your cheeks does he realize what he just said. Levi clears his throat and shifts his focus on the canteen in his hands as he screws it close.

"How much longer are we going to be up here?" You ask as you gently lie back down.

"Until you're ready." There's rustling next to you and when you turn your head, you watch as Levi settles in with a knee pulled up against his chest and his other leg dangling off the branch's ledge. He's staring out past the horizon, lost in thought. The wind whips around again, causing his hair to fly in different directions.

"Hey, Captain Levi?"

"What, cadet?" He side-eyes you.

"Thanks. For saving me. You're a great captain." And an even greater guy, you think.

"Tch. Your death is not allowed." He mutters before going back to watching the sky. You notice a pink dusting start to creep into Levi’s ear and cheek that faces you. You smile as you watch him keep an eye out, feeling safe in his presence

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

Fluff Masterlist

pure fluff: 💕 hurt/comfort: ❤️‍🩹 smut: 💟 (soft) 💦 (explicit)

hi i think the original post is getting too long and tumblr won't let me save it so this is my attempt at compromising

main masterlist

hcs/drabbles:

➼ attention-starved!levi (drabble) 💕 ➼ attention-starved!levi (headcanons) 💕 ➼ bff!levi comforting you when your friends are being shitty 💕 ➼ blind date by mutual friend 💕 ➼ cat-dad!levi 💕 ➼ celebrating your birthday with a date 💕 ➼ cuddling on a day off 💕 ➼ cuddling when snowed in 💕 ➼ dadvi canonverse headcanons 💕 ➼ date where you take a walk on the docks and go for a drive 💕 ➼ date where you travel outside of the walls 💕 ➼ dinner and music date in marley 💕 ➼ eating ice cream for the first time 💕 ➼ friend date on top of the walls that leads to a confession 💕 ➼ general headcanons on dating levi 💕 ➼ getting levi a power washer 💕 ➼ going to a carnival with bff!levi that ends up being a shitshow 💕 ➼ going to the carnival for the first time 💕 ➼ giving levi first aid 💕 ➼ grocery shopping with levi 💕 ➼ just some domestic modern!au headcanons 💕 ➼ kissing post-war!levi’s scars 💕

➼ levi and physical touch 💕 ➼ levi being stubborn with you after an injury 💕 ➼ levi catching you after you get yeeted by a Titan 💕 ➼ levi comforts you after you think he’s sick of you ❤️‍🩹 ➼ levi confessing by calling you his 💕 ➼ levi confessing on NYE 💕 ➼ levi helps you with your gear after you get injured 💕 ➼ levi getting a phone 💕 ➼ levi noticing that you're getting overstimmed 💕 ➼ levi noticing you about to have a panic attack 💕 ➼ levi rushing home after hearing gunshots through the phone 💕 ➼ levi saying he doesn’t want to lose you ❤️‍🩹 ➼ levi scolding you for not getting first aid 💕 ➼ levi soothing your crying toddler 💕 ➼ levi taking care of drunk!reader 💕 ➼ levi taking care of your newborn baby 💕 ➼ levi taking his twin daughters to the beach 💕 ➼ levi telling you that you’re perfect just the way you are ❤️‍🩹 ➼ levi with modern!au gadgets 💕 ➼ levi with twin daughters (hcs) 💕 ➼ morning cuddles with levi 💕 ➼ picnic date 💕 ➼ post-war!levi chasing after your toddler 💕 ➼ random levi thoughts 💕 ➼ touch-starved!levi having to wake up without you next to him 💕💟 ➼ touch-starved!levi that misses you after a week without you 💕💟 ➼ wearing levi’s shirt when having a bad day 💕 ➼ wedding planning with levi 💕 ➼ you and levi discussing having a baby 💕💟 ➼ you and levi take your baby out for a stroll in Marley 💕 ➼ you being stubborn with levi after an injury 💕 ➼ you dragging jealous!levi onto the dance floor 💕 ➼ you telling levi that he’s more than likeable 💕

oneshots:

➼ A Clean Cut 💕

Years after the end of the war, your son asks Levi to cut his hair.

➼ Come Home with Me Tonight 💕

You and Levi were nothing more than friends with benefits. However, upon seeing you at a formal with a date, things quickly begin to change.

➼ Come to Bed 💕

Your attention has been limited, making Levi more than grumpy.

➼ Fucked Out 💦 💕

After getting fucked stupid by Levi, he helps you clean up and provides you with gentle aftercare.

➼ I Do 💕

You run into your ex-boyfriend after years and realize that your feelings had never faded.

➼ It Was Always You 💕

You were a princess with an unwanted duty. He was the knight that saved your life. Tired of hiding behind a ruse, you finally confess.

➼ Just Being You 💕

Levi attempts to explain the Rumbling to your 6-year-old child.

➼ Just Go ❤️‍🩹

After a fight, you're convinced that Levi's going to break up with you.

➼ Keeping You Safe ❤️‍🩹

You get hurt during the 57th Scouting Expedition and are confronted by Levi.

➼ Peace 💕

With the war finally over, you and Levi struggle to adjust to normal life. You attend a fall festival in an attempt to cope with the day.

➼ Stay With Me 💕

It's the night before your battle with the Jaeger brothers. Pressed for time, Levi finally confesses.

➼ Surprises ❤️‍🩹

You were convinced that Levi was cheating. He instead comes home with a surprise.

➼ The Short King 💕💟

You run into Levi after coming out of the shower after avoiding him and are forced to navigate your budding feelings for him.

➼ The Usual 💕

You're a regular in Levi's teashop. He makes a promise to get to know you.

➼ Want 💕

Levi begins berating you for getting injured. It isn't until later that it was because he had feelings for you all along.

➼ Who You Are 💕

Your depression hits harder than usual. Levi helps you through it.

➼ World's Grumpiest Dad 💕

You reveal your pregnancy to Levi with an unironic gift.

➼ You're Safe ❤️‍🩹

Levi raises his voice, which triggers your previous memories. Aware of your past, Levi helps you through it.

➼ Your Promise (kinda fluff kinda angst idk)

It's the night before the return to Shiganshina. Afraid of losing you, Levi attempts to take you off the mission.

➼ Your Safe Space ❤️‍🩹

You struggle holding back an incoming mood swing. Levi encourages you not to hold it back.

➼ Your Worth ❤️‍🩹

Upset about constantly coming in second place, you request to get removed off Levi's squad, and Levi isn't having any of it.

Last updated: March 9, 2024

© humanitys-strongest-bamf & rydenkat | Do not repost or plagiarize my work. Do not translate or edit without my permission. Do not feed my work into AI. My work is currently posted exclusively on Wattpad, AO3, and Tumblr. Feel free to recommend my works on other social media platforms!

[moo-blogging]

Hey! How are you? 💛 wanna write about comforting Levi after a nightmare or an expedition gone sideways? I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort 🥺

Late night (hurt/comfort) thoughts #110:

It was too fast. It came too fast from your right. An abnormal titan grabbed your horse and you almost fell off. Panicking, you grabbed the wrong smoke gun from the bag hanging on your horse. You shot it on the titan instead. It angered the titan and it squeezed your horse too hard your horse's neck broke in its fist. By then, you grabbed the right colour and fired it onto the sky. The loud bang angered the titan and it threw the horse into a lake nearby, with you along on the horse.

You felt a strong grip around your neck and oxygen was cut off. Gasping for air but mouthful of water gushed into your throat instead. Fear started to kick in as you pulled on the horse lead rope around your neck. You tried to yank it free but your horse was dead and it was sinking fast, and you were sinking with him. Your lungs burnt with pain as water filled your lungs instead of the air they craved.

You watched as you sank further away from the light. All you could think of was Levi. You could see him waking up next to you. The way his brows tightened before he opened his eyes, and how they lit up as his whispered a 'morning, love' with his sleepy deep voice. It was your day off but Levi was used to waking up early so you laid together just grinning sheepishly at each other and waiting for the sun to rise.

You felt heavy and slowly your eyes closed...

.

When Levi heard the first shot of smoke gun, he was looking frantically at the direction it came from. He memorised your position in the scouting formation and he, although desperately hoping it wasn't you, certain it was you. And then he heard the second gun shot. Before he could see the black smoke, he was already riding toward you after yelling at his team to carry forward. He knew Erwin's orders in not engaging in any titans unless necessary. You were his necessity.

He cursed under his breath how far you were stationed away from him. He knew your ability to fend for yourself, he trained you enough to know you can fend for yourself and even protect others. He only agreed to having you being stationed alone because you were not in the furthest out. But accidents happened.

When he reached the smoke location, the couple of scouts behind you had caught up to your position and was attacking the abnormal titan.

"Stand back!" Levi yelled at them as he leaped from his horse and sliced the left cheek of the titan. Turning its head, Levi flew above it and sliced its nape. The titan was down within seconds.

"Where is y/n?! Where is y/n?!" He yelled at the stunned scouts. They shook and said they never saw you.

No, Levi thought, no, this can't be.

He scanned around, taking every drop of blood on the grass in and analysing. He saw a pool of blood a few meters away from the titan's steaming body and the empty guns your fired. The blood then dripped towards his left, each drop further to one another as it went. Following the blood trail, he saw a deep red in the middle of a lake. Without a second of hesitation, he jumped into the lake.

Pushing the dark water behind him, he swam deeper and deeper. Please please please please please, he prayed. He was too afraid to find out what was under the lake. His heart sank as soon as he saw a glitter among the darkness. Your mother's necklace. He swam harder and your ghostly face appeared before him. Grabbing the back of your neck, he felt the ropes immediately. He tried to pull at it but he saw your headless horse. He pulled out his knife from his back pocket and cut the rope, dragging you to the surface as soon as the rope snapped.

Dropping you onto the grass, Levi blew air into your mouth and pushed his palms onto your chest. "Breathe, y/n! Breathe! Please, breathe!" Levi begged. After 30 compressions, he blew into your mouth again. Pumping on your chest, your face blurred as his eyes were filled with lake water and tears. After another 30 compressions, he blew into your mouth again, this time he cried out in desperation.

"No, no, please, y/n, please," Levi started sobbing, "no, come back.. Come back to me, y/n.."

Just then your body jerked forward and you vomited a mouthful of water. Your throat burned as you coughed the last bitter water out of your lungs. You were squeezed between Levi's arms and you felt him shaking. You lifted your arm weakly and rested on his back. The field was silent except for Levi's wailing.

.

That night at camp, lying in the same sleeping bag, Levi held you underneath him as if he was trying to physically shield you from all harms. This was the first time Levi openly held you for so long. He couldn't stop caressing your hair and touching your heart, convincing himself you came back to him.

Tilting your head, you kissed his cheek softly. He snuggled closer, pushing his cheek to your forehead.

Inhaling your hair, Levi then exhaled in relief. He asked for the millionth time, "promise me you will never ever leave me."

Turning your face to fit on his neck, you whispered, "I promise," for the millionth time.

~ Thank you thank you thank you so so much for sending in a request. I feel so much better after I wrote this and I can't wait to write more during the weekends! I do enjoy writing hurt/comfort fics too and I almost forgot that feeling. Thank you so much for bringing it back, I do hope you enjoy it ~

wait, is this angst? or hurt? or both? but definitely comfort :)

[elmundodeflor]

“What if we lived together?”

The first time they think about it, Levi has made them laugh. Someone had killed Sawney and Bean, and they have been crying all morning. It felt like nobody understood, how important they actually were to get a figment of truth. So many comrades were put through the worst of risks, just to capture them alive, it made them buzz with rage, too.

“Your face looks stupid.”, Levi tells them, instead. And he’s right. Their eyes are puffy, to the point they can barely open them. He would have made a joke, if it wasn’t because he’s only a bit concerned. “Now are you gonna sit around whining like a baby all day or what?”

Hanji cleans their tears off with the sleeves of their jacket. It’s not a nice image; their nose is red, and the fabric ends up stained with a splotch of wetness and snot. Levi has the immediate urge to turn his head the other way, but then hands them his pocket cravat, anyways.

“If you’re not gonna be of help, just go, okay?”, they say, with their tone tired and their voice rough. They’re in their lab, where they’ve locked themselves after hearing the news. The place’s a mess; like a tornado’s turned it on its axis. There are papers ruffled, thrown upon the floor; books taken out of their shelves, piled up on the desk. To Levi, it doesn’t take long to figure out it was them; their wild, seeking for liberation during breakfast time.

“If you want me to help, then move your ass out to the diner.”, he sits down next to them; his back against the wall. Hanji’s knees are flexed, pulled towards their chest, and they’re crying again besides him. “You’re an ugly crier, you know that, right?”, he speaks once more.

They raise a brow at him. There’s a softness that lies within his words that makes them perk their head up, stare deep into his irises. As if he’d wanted to comfort them in that own, unique way of his. It’s not like he’s completely wrong, either, though. They’ve seen it. Petra cries beautifully, like tears are snowflakes melting on their cheeks. But theirs are snowstorms, somewhat similar to acid rain. They’re not careful, or pretty, or delicate. Their heart’s too emotional, and it burns like fire. After all, they have always been too quick to let their impulses show the worst of them.

Levi sighs.

“You’d look less stupid if you smiled.”, he says. And then, he does something that makes Hanji freeze with shock. He inches up closer, like he’s calculating his moves, and places down his fingers at the corners of their mouth. It’s a gesture that’s too intimate, even for a guy that’s stuck-up like him. Still, it gets the job done. “See?”, he adds, when a genuine, whole-hearted laugh bursts out of Hanji. “There you go.”

“What if we lived together?”

The second time, it’s a late autumn night. They have suggested it, though only vaguely. “There’s so much we could do inside…!”, they’d said, on a frantic whim, earlier on that day. It was a gentle vision to latch onto, if they were honest; to play family like that. They would knit mittens for the kids before winter, and Levi’d keep the place warm— brew them his best tea.

“Would you rather…”, they ask him now. They’re lying in bed; his head on their stomach, their hands on his hair. The wooden cabin they’re staying at is small, yet cozy, with enough room for everybody. “Read people’s minds, or… be able to fly…?”

Levi shrugs. The ODM is pretty similar to flying, he guesses. Still, it’s not like he ever enjoyed getting involved in other people’s business, either way.

“Fly.”, he says, short and sweet. And Hanji hums, content. Maybe, because they knew that that would be his answer.

“Hm.”, they tug at black locks; fingers lost amidst his scalp. They’re staring at the ceiling, dressed in his sweatshirt and pajama pants. For a moment, they can pretend that this is all there ever was, if only. They’d tell bed-time stories to the children, about heroes and monsters. But it’d be just fiction, and there’d be no need to make wishes to the stars. “If you could fly somewhere, then, where would you go?”

Levi thinks about it for a second. He’d heard Armin talk, about the content in his books. Lands of fire, where sand would reach beyond sight. Snowed mountains, where earth seemed covered by frozen white. The ocean; an infinite mass of salt-water that touched past the further horizons.

He had always been curious about that one.

“The beach.”

Hanji closes their eyes. They can frame the picture, even when tirelessly awaken. They have a wide, two-floored house near the shore, with a white fence and a porch. They’re not on the run anymore; Titans nothing but a memory that fades with the foam.

It’d be wholesome, they think. They could have rooms for each the kids, let them decorate the walls however they pleased. Levi’d nag them about it, for being too messy or unclean. Then they’d brush it off over home-made lunch, sit outside to watch the waves.

“Aye, idiot.”, they whisper. And they can listen; their voice melting off to the sounds of the sea. Like they’re there already; with sun in their hair and sand on their feet. “Tell me something nice.”

Levi keeps quiet, probably a minute or two. He’d never been a man of word, but he can sense it, too. Sasha’d spend the day fishing, bring in weird creatures to cook. Armin’d collect sea-shells on the shore, maybe keep them between the pages of a book. And he’d sweep the floors while humming, sit by the window to breathe in the view.

“You could put your knitting skills to use.”, he complies, finally. Outside, the word sits silent, only the night to guard this conversation. “It’s getting cold as fuck.”

“What if we lived together?”

The third time, they actually speak it. Fearless. Aloud. Like the words have bloomed out of them before they could choke down the feeling.

Maybe, it’s because Levi sleeps, and there’s no chance he can hear their thoughts. Maybe, it’s because it’s danger— thinking like they do. But there’s some sense of safety in talking truths when no one listens.

“It’d be nice, huh?”, they whisper, more to themselves than anybody. They’d dreamed about it, really. Clutched desire to their heart like it was specs of golden. It was the beach, first. But now it didn’t even matter. It could be the mountains of white snow, the endless sandy dessert. Or right here, at the forest. They’d wear the plaid-shirts Levi hated, then he’d take them off, shut them up between kisses and jokes. He’d make them his in the bed they’d share, too; their mornings filled with the smell of pine and burnt log.

“If we run and hide like this… where would that get us?”, he says, barely minutes after. And he’s right again. He always is, Hanji’s sure. They’re a fierce dreamer, indeed. Someone who’d wish hard, with every fragment of their soul. Yet, they also know, they can’t abandon their wild— the raw nature that’s in them to see light in this world.

“Oh…”, they bit their lip, sharp until it stings. Blood burns in their cheeks, has tinted pink the tip of their nose. “You did hear me, after all…”

Levi nods, and takes a look at the hand that hurts. He’s too tired, or too scared to ever dare talk. So, instead, he stares; his eye clung to Hanji’s, with the intensity of a thousand colored fireworks. Truth is, he does want the same as them, after all. The poppy garden, the greenery, a tea-shop. But isn’t it too late to ask now? Isn’t tranquility a price that soldiers like them can’t afford?

“Hanji…”, his voice cracks at the words. A tear’s falling down their face, followed by one and then another. It’s not the ugly cry from the years before, where their sobs would resemble a loud, broken water-pipe. Now, it’s all hushed, quiet; like tear-tracks are stars against the dark of their lashes.

The realization of it doesn’t make him smile, though.

Isn’t it too late now, to confess such a thing? Isn’t love the worst of curses in times of war?

It is.

It is.

It’s too late now.