#life can just be sometimes so hard
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If i had money i'd be commissioning you so much you art is SO GOOD and you deserve that money. You're amazing :3
Aww haha, thank you anon!! Glad you think so bout my work
#anon ask#gosh sorry to anyone who gets this spam but also not sorry#stare at these#these people decided to come over and write all these nice messages#share positivity in the world#and i feel that's so beautiful#life can just be sometimes so hard#but just even a few minutes of their life#a decision to just comment once or say a compliment#makes me remember what i like about this world#just that shared positivity#I hope my responses to you also made you happy anons#And you will maybe one time look back at these#reminding yourself that you do matter#that your words do matter and impact people#i know i am sappy over these silly lil things#but I can be sappy and I WILL be sappy!!#life can be hard#but its these little things#gestures#that matter so much#thank you#for playing my game - mario#if you read all this thank you#have a lovely rest of the day
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Does Timmy have any friends in fairy world?
Timmy is more of a socialite than a friend-getter. He can easily make connections with others, and can slip into established groups and create a dynamic with them! The kind of guy who is always invited to events but not related to anyone.
The closest he's gotten so far is Sanderson.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#fop sanderson#sanderson#asks#itty bitties fop au#timmy had the same issue that peri has!!! nobody in fairy world is his age :(#or like. nobody was his age with the same set of life experiences#bcs smnth smnth time and perception isnt linear in fairyworld#but liiiiike.#hard to make fairy friends when everybody knows you as TIMMY TURNER THE ONCE HUMAN BOY#nobody comes up to you with good intentions :((#so timmy's pretty avoidant with making new friends#not to mention that he like. struggles to do so bcs of his prior experiences of being the social outcast on earth#hes NOT a social outcast anymore bcs hes now in a very loving welcoming environment. but ouguhh. imposter syndrome is strong sometimes.#sanderson is his friend due to prolonged exposure and constant contact. timmy is only JUST accepting this as fact (begrudingly)#not that sanderson cares. (he cares) (he cares a lot) (fuck yeah he's entered the FRIEND ZONE!!!)#(now sanderson can feel the euphoria that is sending a friend request on fairy facebook!!!!) (timmy accepts it (begrudgingly))#(he rode that high for a week)
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thinkin' about Bardaby and his illusion smoke...
#went on yet another bardaby bender. these are only part of it lmao#i am often seized by the fatal need to Draw Barnaby In Some Shape Or Form#but yes. thinking very hard about the illusion smoke#i feel like sometimes he uses it recreationally... mixed with other stuff to dilute it ofc#but it keeps the color!#im imagining that it can act sort of like a Mood Ring!#the core color that he exhales yk yk!#but using it full strength for proper illusions and such#he's gotta be careful about it! it'll fuck him up!#he's built up Quite The Resistance to illusions and illusion magic over his life#but everyone has their limits...#scribble salad#wh fantasy au#IM NOT USED TO DRAWING SMOKE. IT LOOKS BAD LMAO#i'll have to work on that! look up tutorials! Practice!#anyhow i think the other scribbles need their own post#its mainly bardaby and our little warlock...#there are three ways i love drawing barnaby#i love scribbling him angry. i love scribbling him with howdy. and i love scribbling him being soft w/ wally#side note i realized earlier that part of the reason why i love characters who are just so much bigger than everyone else#ex: poppy & barnaby#is bc then its like. they're the smaller guys' personal jungle gym lmao#free bed! free climbing wall! free bean bag! free Getting Tossed Around!!!!#all wrapped up with the wonderful bow of Friend!!!!#...my touch starvedness is showing isnt it. away with ye demons!!!
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I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.
#messyr#doodle#vent art#idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately#overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew#ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go.#And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk#Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same#well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough.#And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing.#I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope.#bpd#abuse mention
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Izutsumi character study
#dungeon meshi#izutsumi#One of my goals for this year was to spend more time doing art studies.#What better way to start than with my favourite danmeshi character (not seen: a whole page of figuring out her features)#I feel like she is by far one of the most poorly understood characters in the series. Partially due to her 'late party member' status.#'She's abrasive and mean' - 'she's a picky eater' - 'she's a catgirl who acts like an asshole cat ' YES and that is the point!#Everyone in dungeon meshi is traumatized and messy about it but izutsumi is just less polite in how she tries to cope.#Izutsumi is a extremely traumatized teenager who has utterly lacked autonomy her entire life.#She is the epitome of a “If I can just have X thing then all my problems will be solved!” character. And the X is 'Freedom'.#Her epilogue was one of the best and wrapped up her character so wonderfully (WARNING: I WILL NOW SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING)#Because she finally gets her freedom! She can go where she wants to and she doesn't need anybody! Yet...it doesn't fix her.#She is so focused on doing only what she wants that she forgets her own needs. Sometimes you have to eat the things you don't want.#And sometimes you have to face the hard truths that you need more than just one thing to make you happy.#Life is not all about only seeking pleasures and avoiding pain. You need to be balanced in order to grow.#Eat your vegetables (including the metaphorical ones: I am eating more art veggies this year by doing art studies!!!)
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Bonus piece from this art
#kirby#kots#kirby of the stars#kirby fanart#hoshi no kirby#Taranza#Galacta Knight#Galacta doesn't know how to go about life without being mysterious#the difference between Galacta and Meta Knight is that Galacta is quiet and mysterious by nature#meta knight does it on purpose to appear cool#Taranza is trying hard not to judge#I think he gave up on trying tp understand#Galacta is mostly quiet but sometimes goes into these monologues while looking at the horizon and Taranza politely listens#Galacta is like 'I've been through so many lifetimes and relived my death time and time again and yet trusting is my demise'#and Taranza is just like 'sure'#Taranza just appreciates the companionship while he's gardening it's like listening to youtube while you draw#you didn't understand half what you just listened to but at last it feels like you're not alone#I'm not sure how to free Galacta Knight in my au yet#but i know they can't fight or they risk to go back to their crystal#that's a rule mentioned in the novels and we don't have tons of those in Kirby canon I'll take what I can get#so instead of fighting they take on gardening isn't that nice#Galacta probably arrived at Dreamland first (Because of course they do) and Dedede doesn't want to deal with them and just sends them away#they probably live temporarily with Kirby because in the novels Kirby actually likes Galacta a lot it's their kin#enough talk about backstory this is supposed to be taken at face value#but Galacta and Kirby would be besties and probably the first person Galacta trusts in basically forever#Galacta would HATE magolor#that's all im going away im so sorry im autistic
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Death to the trope of rewarding disabled characters with an abled body. Death to the trope that a disabled body is a punishment, a sight, something to shame and be ashamed of.
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#i can appreciate different themes with regards to how we relate to/with disablity and disabling events...#...but i cannot get behind the idea that a disabled body is a punishment or a horrific thing y'know...#...my life is worth living as a disabled person. people with even more disabling things/more disabled experiences have lives worth living..#...and it's so hard to stomach sometimes knowing that there's a non-insignificant number of people who disagree#i'm just so frustrated with this 'trope' and i've been ranting at my dad for two days now about how much i hate it#thank you to my dad for letting me rant and rave at him :) (lighthearted and genuine)
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all the stuff I made for that cancelled project... mostly nightmare stuff. about his powers, design choices, and some other junk. but there's also some stuff about dreamtale too.
#no dream stuff cuz I didn't even start her thing yet.#UGHHHH whatever.... I'm so salty... but hey. I got art out of it!#I should probably explain some stuff. like the cuckoo clock and the weird dog station#that's nightmare's powers. he can bring objects to life! and sometimes whole buildings! like his castle!#his castle is the weird cat red demon building btw.#most of the station that he sold stuff in came to life lol. so now u got a bunch of aus where there's just some weird dog-#-hot dog station things that's terrorizing the population.#the objects don't have souls or anything. or maybe they do idk. I didn't think to hard about it. I just thought it would be funny.#also some stuff about his shapeshifting abilities. he likes turning into animals mostly.#his favorite form being the snake. but he can turn himself into pretty anything! colors and all!#also also the thing about that weird little green house. that's dreamtale. dream's and nightmare's home.#the au where they grew up in only has that house and the tree in the backyard.#all around the house are crudely painted walls that look like pretty skies. nothing much else.#what else.#nightmare in his suit.#is all.#nightmare sans#sans au#undertale au#utmv#art#myart
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#masato arakawa#ryo aoki#snap sketches#AH jumpscare#i aint drawn aoki or masato (funny as hell i have to distinguish) in forever BYYYYYEE i miss him. i want him to be even more dead#my favorite genre of masato art is aoki killnig him so its my turn to do that. kinda. in spirit#Understandably its always aoki as the aggressor but i wanted to ask myself Can I Flip It#evidently aoki wasnt happy even with all of his power and all.. it makes me wonder how much his self hatred exists in aoki#A LOT EVIDENTLY LMAOOO but im having issues trying to articulate what i mean#aoki is very much a persona Fake Through And Through so sometimes i wonder if aoki ever gets tired of having to act all the time#he's on edge all the time and constantly trying to figure out how to use people instead of just. chilling LMAO GROW UP#he refuses to let himself be genuine and vulnerable with others yet at the same time he wants the love that comes with that#sure his new persona gives him the life he wanted but its gotta be wild to think 'people only like me for what i can do for them'#its hard to accurately describe what i was thinking while drawing these i just know i like rattling masato in a can#there's just so many layers to him it makes my brain itch SOOOO bad#having the love and sincerity he said he always wanted but not being able to see it because of his own self hatred... wild...#relatable... im gonna throw up... he still sucks tho lol......#ok bye im gonna contemplate drawing something moody cause i guess it's a moody sunday idk sue me
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just a heads up that enmeshment with your therapist is a sign that you need a different therapist. you go to these people to offload and heal, but if you're emotionally enmeshed and that's keeping you from bringing topics forward, that is no longer a healthy relationship nor a therapist that should be treating you.
just so you're aware. your therapist should not be an uncle figure you're afraid to talk about embarrassing stuff with, he's an impartial audience to help you heal. that emotional connection is now HINDERING you from healing.
honestly! me making one personal post! does not tell you the full story! while i defintly have an emotional connection with him- i have had other therapists in my life in and out the entire time. i seek help from other sources frequently! i said it was like talking to an uncle simply because of the fact he’s known me since i was a child, which makes talking about adult topics at times a little embarrasing because he knew me when i was 11!! he is not like an uncle to me in an other respect, i have a seperation. and i have openly discussed this with him and why im uncomfortable at times!! but we talk it out!! because its my therapist and me making one post doesnt mean you know everything!! geez!! also ive been embarrassed to talk about sex with every other therapist ive had!! not your call to make!!
#in the time ive been seeing him ive had easily a dozen other social workers clinicians case workers and speciality therapists. ive been to#groups and classes and everything.#having a stable person in my life who i can trust to help me is important to me because ive been to so many doctors and a lot of them i dont#trust at all. there are some times i struggle with him but i feel safe to talk to him#it just takes me a minute sometimes because i remember playing board games in our sessions and its weird to be an adult now#he’s probably retiring soon so i plan to stay until he does. and then i will move on#impartiality sure. but i need to trust someone to some level. the social worker i saw the longest it took me several years with to discuss#my abuser with because its!! hard to talk about that stuff with someone you dont know
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I talk so much about how i want to fall in love for all the things i could do for someone and all the things someone could do for me but deep down, if i’m being honest, i want to fall in love because i just so desperately need to know that love is actually real and that there are people out there capable of truly loving me
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#just like growing up and losing so many relationships#friendship and family relationships all of it#it’s hard to remember that there are people out there who can love you and that that love will stay#regardless of whether or not you can give them something#idk all the love in my life just feels gone and i don’t really think there’s anything i love anymore sometimes#but then i remember the world is big and i should stop worrying so much for now#i dont know my life is a mess lately#and it’s 5 am and i haven’t slept#and im still grieving things#and hope and patience are so hard sometimes#and there’s something about the ugly side of the whole idea of ‘yearning’ that i think about a lot#because so much of my yearning ISN’T pretty or wistful#it’s achingly desperate and lonely and uncertain#i dont know#i dont know if any of this is worded right#or if it’s all nonsense and i should just be quiet and go to sleep#idk
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I really really appreciate seeing people explicitly talk about Kabru’s PTSD & survivor’s guilt and name them as such it’s really nice… not that people necessarily need to use specific terms to discuss his character well but it’s genuinely nice to see it recognized that he isn’t just a Funny Hater Guy or an Overbearing Asshole & also that his fucking canonical trauma is absolutely foundational to his motives and character
#idk I think trauma can be sometimes dismissed both in writing and in fandom as like a Story Element if that makes sense?#rather than looking at like. PTSD as a character thing. like. neither Laios nor Kabru r neurotypical. this is more or less canon.#also ik I’ve mentioned this before but rereading 55 and realizing that Kabru is very clearly literally trigger right before taking a HUGE#plot defining action really just hits me so hard it’s so important to the tangle of characters#anyway. thank you Kabru Posters I owe you my life
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An AWS comic
#My art#For the record I am not a medical professional and as far as I know AWS isn't even something you can be diagnosed with???#It's so hard to describe what the two sensory hallucinations really *FEEL* like#Like the time one... You know how a dramatic slow motion scene looks like in an anime?#It's like that but if you made it a 60 fps interpolated version of it#It is an absolutely bizarre feeling#Meanwhile the hyper awareness and everything feeling intense feels like how a fisheye lens shot in an anime feels#No I could not be bothered to try to figure out how to draw that for this comic#For the record I haven't actually had those visual hallucinations since I was a small small child#Hell I don't even think I had any hallucinations in my teens at all like#The sensory ones just kinda started happening again in the past 7 years or so?#Also the swelling sensation I've only had once so far. Usually I get the hyper awareness sensation#(Also sometimes I get this intense feeling of swaying when I go to bed but that might not be an AWS thing??)#(Like there's other things that could make you feel like you're rocking on a boat when laying down so I didn't include that)#No I have never talked to anyone about these hallucinations because for the longest time I didn't know what they were#And they are like. Harmless. Like I'm 100% aware they're just strange sensations but not real at all#They last max 15 minutes if even that long and they happen like super rarely#Only once have I had the hyper awareness be SO INTENSE it made me feel distressed#So like. It doesn't really affect my life at all? So why bother with it?#Also IDK if I could even go to a doctor and ask about AWS and have them know what that even is#And even if I could as far as I know there is no treatment for it so like. Whatever#As long as I don't start having distressing hallucinations or visual hallucination's I'll be fiiiiiine
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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad#because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid#i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back#i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades#i might be able to snag a short nap before work#but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen#WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE#well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway#OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently#emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it#and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry#so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m#so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point#anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari#after escaping her british nobility life#and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known#and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time#also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w#but at least he’s still obsessed with her#this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml#anna rambles#asks
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Women, so pretty, so shaped, i am so lesbian,,,
#im also incredibly dysphoric tonight#but i was told by my coworker im incredibly feminine by her earlier#and i mean yeah#.....#i am a tall weird internet woman who likes to draw#so funny how i thought i was bi#I'm just really into women...#my ex is a trans guy and he told me he thinks im lesbian and i had a “holy fuck this explains so much moment”#we broke up but we still have a weird queer relationship outside of social heteronormative norms that is hard to explain and only we#can really understand#im not into men because you know#im a lesbian#had a weird period in my life when i was dating a guy and said im a lesbian and i felt sooooo scared#turns out when youre on meds and your brain is working right you just stop caring about such things#i went on a parade wearing big lesbian flag and girls loved it :)#i dont really know if i ever want to date anyone again#but i think if you look at my art you can really tell my sexuality quite easily lolol#funny how love can be so complicated sometimes#i mean it was kind of inevitable we break up cause we're kind of incompatible but tbh#it was better for us#hehe
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I often think I'm like Xie Lian because I relate to him during his life in his second banishment. Is that sad? MAYBE
Follow my blog! I'll have more TGCF stuff coming up soon.
#art#digitalart#tgcf#fanart#sketch#heaven official's blessing#xie lian#mxtx tgcf#tgcf fanart#tgcf xie lian#being so shy that even making friends online is hard#story of my life#please follow me#i swear#i can be funny sometimes#i'm just another starving artist#and broke
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