#like!! i am writing four very different endings and am completely failing at all of them

[just-fandomthings]

off school for the next month so I have some time to write finally and instead of being productive, I’m staring down four different projects that are nearly completed…except for the fact I have no idea to write the final few paragraphs 🙃

[solarmorrigan]

( @nitro502-the-sequel​‘s tags on this post made me ugly laugh and then I had to write something, I hope that’s okay??)

Wait, no, this is hilarious, hold on

Steve drops Eddie off at home later that night, where Wayne is awake and puttering around in the kitchen making what might possibly be lunch (he tends to keep overnight hours even on his days off, so as not to completely fuck his sleep schedule, but hell if Eddie can keep track of what time of “day” it is for him).

Wayne gives Eddie a nod of acknowledgement and turns back to the pan he’s stirring on the stove. “How was your–”

“HE CROCHETED ME A SCARF.”

This was a little louder than Eddie had meant to be, but Wayne, to his credit, doesn’t even flinch. He turns back to look at where Eddie is standing in the middle of the living area, clutching the ends of the aforementioned scarf like it’s a towel at the end of the world.

“Who did?”

“Steve.”

“Huh,” is all Wayne says. “Is crocheting the thing with the…?” He holds his fists out in front of him, rotating them at the wrists like he’s rowing a very tiny boat.

“No, that’s knitting. Apparently, they’re different,” Eddie says, brows raised and hands held up in front of him, like he can fend off the ghost of Steve’s surprisingly enthusiastic lecture on the subject. “Crocheting is with a hook, like–” Eddie holds out one curled fist, trying to demonstrate, but it mostly just looks like he’s either stabbing something or failing to pick up some invisible spaghetti. He gives up and flutters his hands in front of himself, clearing the image. “He showed me – never mind, it’s – you’re missing the point!”

“And I’m sure you’re gonna tell me what that is,” Wayne says, turning back to the stove before the beans (Eddie’s pretty sure it’s beans he’s smelling) start to burn.

“Steve crocheted me a scarf,” Eddie enunciates, because putting the proper emphasis on certain words will definitely solve the problem.

Wayne just hums. “Well, that was nice of him. Lord knows I can never get you to wear anything warm.”

Eddie groans, clutching at this scalp and then running his hands through his hair. He’s at least seventy-five percent certain Wayne is being obtuse on purpose.

“But what am I supposed to do about it?” he laments.

“Wear it, I’d say,” Wayne replies. “Can I see it?”

Eddie hesitates for a second, because it’s his scarf and Steve made it for him, and he doesn’t want anything to happen to it when he hasn’t even had it for twenty-four hours, but then he decides he’s being ridiculous, because if he can trust anyone with his stuff, it’s Wayne. He unwinds the scarf from around his neck and passes it over.

Wayne’s brows go up as he looks over the close, even stitches, running his fingers over the little ridges Steve somehow made with yarn. He nods appraisingly. “It’s nice,” he says, handing it back.

“Right?” Eddie tosses it back around his neck with a sigh.

“Did you say thank you?”

“Yes,” Eddie says, before thinking back over the moment when Steve had told him that the scarf was for him. “…more or less.”

Wayne shakes his head, turning back to his food with some unfavorable mutter about Eddie’s manners.

“Okay, but I think you’re still not seeing the problem here,” Eddie insists.

“Looks like the problem is that you’re having a conniption over a scarf in the middle of the damn living room,” Wayne shoots back.

“No, that’s– well I mean– no,” Eddie sputters. “Okay, look, what would you do if a girl made a scarf for you?”

Wayne pauses, and Eddie loves his uncle with his whole shriveled heart, but it is always funny watching him try to shift gears when he realizes they’re talking about gay things now.

“Well,” Wayne says slowly, “pretty sure I’m a little too old to have any girl knitting me a scarf.”

“Oh my god,” Eddie groans. “Fine! A mature woman, then. Work with me here!”

Eddie gets a raised eyebrow at the mature woman comment, but Wayne lets it slide. He tilts his head consideringly as he spoons some beans out onto a plate by the stove, where he’s already got toast waiting. He tilts the pan at Eddie, wordlessly offering, and Eddie shakes his head.

“I suppose I’d have to get her something in return,” Wayne finally says. “Or make her something, if I was the creative type.”

Eddie gets another pointed look at those last two words, and he groans again, letting his head fall back in defeat, because he’d been afraid that would be the answer.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to make. It’s not like I can make him warm clothes or do anything useful,” Eddie says, so caught up in the sudden and dramatic realization that all of his hobbies are entirely useless that he doesn’t manage to duck in time when Wayne gives him a not-entirely-gentle smack on the back of the head as he passes by into the living room.

“Stop that. The things you make are just fine. It doesn’t have to be useful, it just has to be thoughtful,” Wayne says, settling into his chair. “So quit standing around whining and go come up with something you can make to woo your boy.”

“Oh my god.” Eddie covers his face, even though Wayne will definitely already know he’s gone red. “You’re actually the worst. I don’t know why I talk to you.”

“You’re welcome for the advice,” Wayne drawls.

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie waves a dismissive hand at him, but the quick “thanks” he throws out afterwards is entirely sincere.

He retreats to his room after that; apparently, he has some thinking to do.

[Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue | Ao3]

[comicaurora]

What are your thoughts on guardians vol.3? (If you have watched it) I went into it, expecting it went to the garbage like the rest of the mcu, but I was pleasantly surprised by its creativity, trope subversion, and how it wrapped up the previously unresolved arks of its characters.

That's what I've heard!

The thing is, Guardians 3 could be the most transcendent work of cinema ever made, and I'd probably still feel little to no motivation to watch it at this point. It's not Guardians's fault - it's just suffering from the same problem that superhero comics have been struggling with for decades: no matter how good an individual arc or run is, absolutely nothing good lasts or matters in the long term, and the stories are shaped in such a way that "the long term" is the only thing anyone gets to build towards.

Whenever I complain about the MCU I get a handful of people loudly complaining about my complaining, with the general thesis that if I don't like it I shouldn't watch it or talk about it - if I'm not having fun, just stop engaging with it. And the thing is, I have. I am intellectually interested in why this massive franchise is fumbling the bag so hard, which is why I still check in on it sometimes, but I've long since stopped turning to the MCU for uncritical entertainment. And even the good movies or shows with a lot of interesting ideas - good character arcs, fun concepts, interesting planting for future payoff - don't draw me in anymore, because they're hooked into a massive moneymaking machine that will scrap and squander anything if they think it'll make them more in the quarter. It doesn't matter how good the writing is, because the writers are not allowed to tell a complete, finished story, and they have no control over what happens to their characters outside of their own script.

Captain America's arc was set up from literally minute one to answer one burning question at the core of his character: does a world without a war still need Captain America? After that incredibly basic tee-up at the end of First Avenger, half a dozen movies failed to come up with a reason to say "yes," and now Steve is retired for good after getting fumbled through four different storylines that couldn't even pretend that they needed him (the unused Chekhov's Phone from the end of Civil War still haunts me). The foundational arc of his entire character never happened because nobody bothered to keep track of it past a single movie.

Taika did something interesting with Thor in Ragnarok - take away Mjolnir, force him to recognize what it means to be the god of thunder, give him a very Odin-y missing eye - and the very next movie undid all of it. Just kidding, never mind, here's an eye and a new weapon and also his old weapon again, and in one more movie we're even gonna give him his hair back, probably as an apology for all the completely unironic fatphobia we're gonna slather him in for two and a half hours. I'm not even surprised Love And Thunder was such an overblown mess that barely took itself seriously - why would Taika bother trying to give Thor another arc when the powers that be will just roll it back in six months anyway?

I hear Rocket Raccoon has a fantastic arc in this movie. That's great, and demonstrates that he's being written by a writer that deeply cares about him. But he's part of the MCU, and the MCU doesn't let anything end, so if current patterns hold, Rocket is going to continue to serve as quippy plushie-bait for the next dozen movies and none of that depth is going to come through in the long term. Hell, since they're making Kang noises for the Next Big Threat and Kang's entire gimmick is rewriting timelines, literally none of this is guaranteed to matter. By next year, it might not have even happened anymore.

The MCU has successfully shaped itself into a paradigm where the bright spots of good writing are overridden and lost as soon as the writers room turns over, and that makes it really hard for me to muster up the enthusiasm to watch even a really good movie that's locked into the exact same grist mill as everything else. I'm glad people liked it, I hope it gets to stay good this time - I just have no desire to watch it.

[williamrikers]

The Undeniable Queerness of Enchanté the Series

(thank you @ranchthoughts for letting me ramble about this in your inbox before turning my thoughts into a post)

there are bls and then there are bls. right? there are dead fish kisses and there are characters who kiss each other like their lives depend on it.

and enchanté firmly belongs in the second category. 1,500-word essay under the cut.

there is such a consistent and tangible queer undercurrent to everything that's happening on this show and i'm not just talking about the fact that several scenes look like they could be the opening scene of a gay porno. or the surprise bondage. or force in drag. or proposing marriage in front of the eiffel tower. no, there's this aching, desperate desire underlying everything. theo has--in addition to his main love interest--four very hot gay suitors who all very obviously desire him carnally... this is some sort of gay manic pixie dream boy wish fulfilment fantasy and i am absolutely eating it up.

there is a vibe to the show that @ranchthoughts called "fanfic-like", and i would argue that that's because enchanté is actually fanfiction of the little prince. (i'm planning on making a separate post soon about how the book was referenced on and used as inspiration for the show.)

enchanté is fully aware of its own fictionality. it is on-the-nose fictional. but that's what makes it so much fun--it's not trying to be something it isn't.

take the reading memories segments in episode 4 [3/4] for example: these scenes were incredibly cringe, like, full-on bad-green-screen terrible-costumes-and-wigs hilarious-acting cringe, but fully aware of their own cringe-ness. (also, gawin was both in drag and naked in the same scene as two different characters, like. get on enchanté's level.) (incidentally, can anyone tell me what character aou/phupha was supposed to be? i got detective conan, monkey d. luffy and momotarō for the others, but i'm stumped on phupha's character.)

and that self-awareness makes it camp! there is such a level of camp to the whole show which feels extremely intentional (especially in the first two thirds), almost like a meta-commentary: "this is the genre. we know it's stupid but we love it here", and i adore that. they know the tropes, they know the bl landscape, and they're just having fun with all of it.

and the whole set-up in itself is a queer allegory, isn't it? theo and akk are "from different worlds", so to speak, hindered in their love not just by their complete inability to communicate but also by their forced separation as children. when they meet again, theo doesn't really belong anywhere, he's an outsider both in france and in thailand, he is unable to act the way thai society expects him to act (e.g. failing to show the proper respect to the seniors), unable to get his parents to understand him while being actively lied to by them (the whole ocean of miscommunication in that family deserves its own post), harboring feelings for his childhood friend his whole life but unable to voice them in a normal sort of way, instead falling back on concocting the most convoluted, immediately backfiring plan to try to make akk jealous and get him to confess his feelings first.

theo is fundamentally isolated because he grew up between two cultures, and neither one quite fits him: when he's in france, he is comforted by thai food and the only people he's close with (his grandmother and sun) are from thailand like himself; but when he's in thailand, he can't quite get used to the social conventions and makes social blunders, he is very slow at writing in thai.

it's such a poignant queer allegory in my opinion. they didn't end up making as much a point of it on the show as they could have, but it very much informed my whole reading of the show and the characters. there is a sort of inability to articulate his experience surrounding theo that makes him even more isolated and screams "baby gay in need of a community" to me. having akk share his experience at the end is something that i'm not a big fan of for other, unrelated reasons (might make a separate post about enchanté's ending and why it fell flat for me), but when looking at it through this lens, it is the only way for akk to really get theo, to really understand his struggle on a fundamental level.

which brings me back to that desire i mentioned earlier: theo desires akk, very much so, there are a whole handful of scenes where akk gets close to him and theo closes his eyes, expecting to finally be kissed by him, but more than that, he desires understanding. he often brushes off his own difficulties and has a tendency to be emotionally clueless (for example about his parents' divorce), but what i see most in his character is the desire to be understood, to be seen by akk, for akk to see him for who he is and to love him for who he is. (akk, of course, has been doing both of those things all along. he's constantly taking pictures of theo, he's watching him through his window--with theo's full knowledge--he is always looking at him, he's always loving him.)

it's not inherently queer to want to be loved as we truly are, i believe heterosexual people experience this, too, but in the context of queerness itself, being perceived as queer by other queer people is indeed a fundamental aspect to experiencing queer love (maybe not in gay for you bls, but i haven't heard of much gay for you happening in real life). not to be unscientific about this, but the vibes of the perception aspect of enchanté are just very queer to me, you know?

oh, and speaking of desire: enchanté in general is very physical. there is a level of intimacy between the actors and the camera that seems incredibly intentional: there are several shower scenes, scenes of theo and akk shirtless, TWO (2) nude gawin scenes (though one of those is sadly a fake-out and he is actually wearing shorts), many, many scenes that include bare feet, which is not something i see super often in bl, at least not to the point that i notice the frequency of it.

enchanté is very rooted in the physical reality of desirable bodies: theo is allowed to openly, physically flirt with saifa, even though that's not even his endgame love interest, phupha uses physical touch in his pursuit of theo, natee shows his obsession with theo by drawing his face/body about a hundred times, and akk and theo are wholly unable to keep their hands off each other. i've joked about the intricate rituals, but seriously, they are constructing so many intricate rituals. there are two separate scenes in which they make up excuses to kiss each other's elbows/arms/backs. they keep touching each other in a thousand ways, in every possible way they can that is still plausibly deniable as physical desire--until they kiss while watching that movie and then it's just a game of chicken of who will confess first. because their physical attraction to each other is undeniable. it's obvious. this was really refreshing to see in a genre that so often plays with the blushing maiden trope, and one character is so often made to pursue the other: on enchanté, akk and theo are equally horny for each other. it's not their lack of physical attraction that keeps them apart for so long.

(sadly, the show then shies away from actually getting very sexually physical: after their desperate, stunning, amazing balcony-kiss, they aren't allowed to be horny for each other in the last two episodes, when they're actually in a relationship. this is just one of the many aspects that i didn't like about the conclusion of the story, because you simply cannot tell me that these two as we got to know them in episodes 1 to 8 would really be as chaste with each other as they're shown in episodes 9 and 10.)

leaving that aside for the moment, let's talk about that kiss. as mentioned right at the beginning, when these two kiss each other on the balcony, it's desperation in its rawest form. these two--and especially theo--crave each other. theo kisses akk like he will die without him. theo kisses akk like he can finally breathe. theo kisses akk like he never wants to do anything else ever again.

i'm a bit obsessed with book's acting here, because of all the kissing scenes i've seen him in, i think this is THE most desperate one. force plays it a bit more subtle, but book's expression is full-on anguish. theo waited his whole life to be kissed by akk, and book portrays that so beautifully, with such depth. it's one of my favorite bl kisses for sure, it's played with so much heart, so much feeling, that it's hard to even think of kisses that compare, apart from the bad buddy episode 5 rooftop kiss.

anyway, all of this to say that enchanté to me is deeply, lovingly queer, and it's a shame that so many people are sleeping on it. (and that includes myself, i was wary about watching this show for a long time because i'd heard so many negative things about it.)

but i'm here to tell you: watch enchanté. it's wonderful, it's hilariously funny, it's endearing, it has book and force in it, and it is extremely queer.

[oneeyedoctogod]

Disclaimer: long, extremely personal rant. Yes, it's also about mdzs and Jiang Cheng but mainly, it's about me trying to deal with my own trauma when I'm being hit in the face (metaphorically) with it by putting my feelings into words. The posting is so I don't erase it and force myself to forget about it.

You know it's funny, but as I was trying to sleep (and failing. Badly. It's 2:38 am.) I kept on finding myself thinking about why I didn't like Jiang Cheng. Because you see, it's rare for me to dislike a character that much, to the point I actually have blacklisted all his tags and avoid any fics that talk about him positively.

(Again, this is an extremely personal post about my own feelings. This is not meant as a rebuke if you love him. On the contrary. Keep doing what sparks joy. Just, you know, far away from me.)

I have a funny history with the mdzs fandom. I first started watching the donghua when it started airing back in... 2018? 2019? Can't remember for sure. Then I was left hungry for more because only the first season had aired, and it ended on a big cliffhanger. I saw it was an adaptation, so I went looking for the source material... and found the manhua (I was used to japanese animation at that point and thought that was it). The manhua was also being fan translated, and despite being extremely different (and confusing for poor past me), ALSO left me on a cliffhanger. I was desperate and saw someone pointing out there was a novel! I finally found it, read it in a few nights, and loved it. I read a bunch of fics, enjoyed myself, met and befriended people. Then I moved on after a while. I remember, distinctly, that I wasn't a big fan of Jiang Cheng but that I could at least stomach him in fics.

Last December, I felt the urge to reread some mdzs fics. I read some popular ones and, after falling into the animatics and amvs rabbit hole, decided to rewatch the donghua. Except for some reason, Jiang Cheng's character rubbed me wrong. I remembered not liking him much but he wasn't that bad in the fics so I couldn't see why he was so distasteful in the donghua. I'd been warned that the donghua wasn't that faithful (my own memory was extremely hazy), so I just shrugged it off. Maybe the people behind the donghua weren't fans of jc?

I saw there was an official translation of the novel and, by that point, DEEP into the hyper fixation, I bought all four available volumes and read them. At the same time, I was still reading fics. It was fine after all, I already knew the story.

By then, I had realized something was a little wrong with the characteristization. Some of the tropes given to Wei Wuxian rubbed me the wrong way. I looked it up a little (remade a tumblr, found amazing meta, the rest is history) and figured "Ah that must be cql fics. That's the problem."

And yes, that's true. In part.

The other problem lies with the particular way some people write Jiang Cheng. I'll be clear again: I have nothing against those people. Most of them I don't know and I'm aware this is very much a, shall we say, "me" problem. It's why I avoid the positive Jiang Cheng content. I don't care if you keep writing it so long as you keep it away from the canon jc tag.

But whenever people write Jiang Cheng and completely erase his crimes and abuse of both Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling, I feel it like a slap on the face.

Last Monday, I saw a therapist and talked about her about many things (I did warn this would be a very personal post). Part of it was my mother and her treatment of me and my brothers. And after barely a few words, she said, very simply "Oh so your mother abused you."

I already knew that. I use those words myself to describe my history with her. But the validation is always nice to hear, you know? Especially because so many people try or have tried to brush it off as "nothing." My own mother did, both about her own behaviour and when I was being abused by other people and tried to seek her help. Hell, even I still do it sometimes.

And I think that's why I hate Jiang Cheng so damn much now. His canon self is... Well, I'm not a fan, but he's a well-written antagonist. But dear gods, I've seen so many people brush off his canon characteristics to make him into a more palatable character, the loving uncle, the funny tsundere brother, the ace guy who hates mushy romance (let me tell you, as an ace person I am also real fucking tired of homophobic characters being hc as ace)... Even the ones who mention his bad parts feel the need to immediately add his achievements, as if they don't dare speak badly of their fave. "Yes, he tortured Wei Wuxian, but he also sacrificed his core to save him!" "Yes, he hit and verbally abused Jin Ling, but he also lovingly raised him!" "Yes, he tortured and killed innocent people but he also has trauma and had to lead a sect when he was so young!"

And this feels familiar, every time. This feels like the people telling me "Yes but it's not that bad" or saying "Yes your mother gave you panic attacks but she made sure you didn't fail at school" or "Yes but she made you love reading" or "Yes but she gave you so much, don't be selfish" or "Yes but she was here for you when you were depressed" or "Yes but she has it hard too" until I fell in the habit of saying "Sure, my mother insulted me and threatened me financially and there was a long, long time I was convinced she didn't love me... but."

Always that damn BUT.

So you might be able to understand why I have a hard time with Jiang Cheng when people pull the same shit all thenfucking time. I'm working on it because I'd rather not be stuck feeling anxious about a silly purple grape just because he happens to be fandom fave in my current hyperfixation but in the meantime, I have to deal with it and it's... annoying. To say the least.

(I'm going to insist here: I know that Jiang Cheng isn't my mother. That's not the point here. I am fully aware he's a fictional character and that me feeling that way is something I should be working on. I am. And I'm not telling people to stop writing positive content for him. This is just me trying to put into words my complicated feelings for a complicated character. And ranting, a little bit, about badly tagged fics I admit.)

It's easier on social media. You just block the characters tag and, if people bother you about it, you block them. Friends being friends, I just need to tell them "I don't feel comfortable talking about this character" or "let's agree to disagree on this interpretation" and because my friends are the best, they agree and we move on.

Fanfiction is where the problem lies.

I know why people erase the 'hard' parts, or at least I have a good guess. It's easier that way. Fanfiction is about having fun! It's about writing about your blorbos the way you want to! I don't want to police anyone's content. I'd just like it if people tagged their OOC and stopped trying to make me feel as if I'm the one who misread the book because I don't feel like erasing the canonical abuse this character did or because I don't like that they keep putting down my favorite character to uplift theirs.

I'm not sure how to conclude this. I should be sleeping honestly.

Let's try this: if you read this to the end, congrats I guess. I want to reiterate I don't care if you make Jiang Cheng into the most loving, best brother and uncle ever. Just be aware of what you're erasing first. And tag your goddamn fics.

[imwall-e]

W&TWS || Doubts

Summary : He is a super-soldier of more than 100 year old, struggling to find a place in this new world. She is a young student of 23, struggling with life. But they know they can find comfort and help in each other.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings : a bit of angst and anxiety, also fluff and always Bucky being the best

A/N : I am back to writing this fanfiction. It is more a journal to me, but it feels good to write like that and to share the story of Bucky and Willow. I hope you love it !

Series Masterlist

May 10th 2021

The exams had started the week of her birthday. Willow had barely revised, but was still doing her best to answer the questions and write good essays. She had a feeling, however, that it wouldn't be enough, but she was at peace with that. After all, this degree no longer suited her. All she had to do was make a decision: try her luck at the catch-up exams (because yes, she would definitely have to go), or give up altogether.

Strangely enough, her reflections led her to William. They had only been dating a few months, and she had taken just as long to get over what he had done to her. The wound still hadn't completely healed. A new question came to mind: was it a good idea to start a relationship with Bucky?

True, they had only exchanged a kiss, but perhaps everything was still moving too fast? Perhaps she needed to take her time? She wrote down all her anxieties on the paper she'd used for drafts, and promised herself she'd tell Bucky about them the next time they called.

He had gone back to New York a few weeks earlier, and it was difficult for them to communicate. She knew that a long-distance relationship wouldn't work in the long term. Especially in two different time zones.

She didn't want to get too attached like in her previous relationships. But Bucky seemed so kind. So thoughtful. However, bad times in the past forced her to be wary of many things, and many people. Even Bucky.

The teacher supervising the exam indicated that there was still an hour to go before the end of the exam. She glanced at her paper: barely four pages... She sighed, gathered her things, handed in her paper and went home.

The journey seemed long. Longer than usual. When she arrived, she was greeted only by her dog Dino. Her mother must still be at work. She took the opportunity to relax a little: take Dino for a walk, have something to eat, continue reading a book. Around 6pm, she took a shower and fell asleep a few minutes after getting into bed.

May 11th 2021

When she woke up, it was past midnight. The house was quiet. Her bedroom door was closed, probably by her mother who had preferred to let her sleep in. She reached for her phone and was blinded for several seconds by the brightness.

A few notifications from her group of friends told her that she wasn't the only one who had failed the exam. Dysariel's plan was holding up, which surprised none of them, after all he always got the best marks.

However, it was two other notifications that caught his attention. They were from Bucky:

Bucky Bear At 10.30pm: Hello Sunflower, I hope your day went well and that you managed to pass your mid-term. Give me your availability for tomorrow, I want to call you for your birthday. At 00:00: If my clock in New York is telling the right time for you, it's time for me to wish you a very happy birthday, my Sunflower. I haven't heard from you, so I assume you've fallen asleep. Thinking of you. PS: I also have a surprise for you that should arrive later today.   Sunflower At 00:15: Thank you, Bucky Bear! I'll be available from midday. I don't have any exams in the afternoon. Do I get a hint about my surprise? I'm thinking of you too. Bucky Bear  At 12:16am: Sorry, but if I tell you, it won't be a surprise! I've got to go to one last meeting. Go back to sleep, you need your rest. I can't wait to see you again.

His messages made her smile. He hadn't forgotten her birthday. He was going to surprise her. She had to concentrate on the positives. She wished she could go back to sleep now, but she knew she wouldn't be able to. So she grabbed her computer, plugged in her headphones and started watching videos. 

She was woken up by her seven o'clock alarm, just two hours after going back to sleep. She nearly fell asleep on the train journey to university. 

This morning she had an English grammar exam from nine to noon. However, she already knew that she would get out early because it was the subject she had mastered the most. Two or three exercises were more complicated and she could guess that she wouldn't get all the points. The most important thing was that she would at least pass the subject.

Zephyr, Dysariel, Axel and Ophélia went out more or less at the same time as her. They stayed another hour to eat together at one of the local fast-food restaurants. They talked about everything and anything. And Bucky.

"So," asked Dysariel, "how are things going with your handsome soldier?"

"Fine," replied Willow, blushing. I'm just a bit scared..."

"Of what?"

"That it's going too fast. Besides, the age difference is great, I mean he's over a century old."

They laughed together and all advised her the same thing: they were sure that what was between her and Bucky was special, but she had to take her time and think about her well-being.

Then came the time to go home. Zephyr went first, his parents being stricter about his going-out times. Then it was Ophélia's turn, as she had almost two hours by train to get home. Dysariel had things to do and wanted to revise for the hardest exam on Thursday: US history. Axel and Willow were the last to leave.

They had barely taken a few steps out of the main building when Axel remarked to Willow, "Look who's here." Indeed, Bucky was coming towards them, in a superb black suit. "I've got a train to catch and I think you deserve some time with him. Happy birthday again and see you on Thursday!" Before Willow could reply, Axel had already crossed the pedestrian crossing. When she turned her head towards Bucky, he was standing next to her, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hands.

"Happy birthday, Willow. I hope you don't mind that I came unannounced, I definitely wanted to surprise you." He looked tired but happy to see her again. As for her, she couldn't say a word because she was so surprised. She could only throw herself into his arms.

He held her close. Her long blonde hair smelt of monoi, the scent they both associated with summer. Bucky could already see himself taking her on holiday to the beach, or to New York to meet the people he considered to be his family.

Together they got into the car. "I was thinking we could go for lunch somewhere?" Bucky suggested.

"We've already eaten with the others. Maybe tonight?"

"Yes, of course. Say, I've booked a hotel room for the week, at the park where we spent our first date. We can also spend the day there tomorrow. Are you interested?

"Why not."

Bucky noticed that Willow didn't seem as cheerful as usual. He gently stopped the car at the side of the road, and turned to her, "Is everything all right?" Worry showed on his face and Willow couldn't help crying. There was the stress of the exams, the happiness of seeing Bucky again, the fears that were interfering with her thoughts.

So she told him about all the doubts she had about their relationship. She apologised several times. Bucky took her face in his hands: "Willow, look at me. It's all right, I'm not angry with you. Unless you never want to see me again, we'll take our time. We'll go at your pace. I promise you that. Now, I just want to know if we spend the afternoon and tomorrow together, or if I drop you off at your place?"

"I think I'm scared because of what happened with my old boyfriends."

"Willow, you don't have to tell me about it. Only do it if you want to or if you're ready."

"I am."

"Then we'll talk about it, but let me take you out for dessert. I know when you get really anxious and it calms down, you get hungry right after."

The fact that he remembered little details like this warmed her heart, and a big smile lit up her face. Bucky started the car again, one hand resting on Willow's thigh. Willow put her hand on his. She was already feeling a little lighter.

I hope you love this chapter, I'm writing the next one ! Do not hesitate to like, comment and reblog if you feel comfortable to do so !

[kpopsexstories]

Hi fellow kpop smut readers! I need to ask your help: to come up with Winwin's sex story!

Today I reached a milestone: I just finished the first full draft of Taeil's story, which means that I now only have two NCT smut stories left to write.

If you've been following along with my Most Memorable Sexual Experiences of NCT smut series, you know that there are six members left: XiaoJun, Taeil, Jeno, Jaemin, Lucas and Winwin.

How far along am I?

I've been working on all six of these simultaneously for a few months. Jaemin's story was the first to be finished, followed by XiaoJun.

Jeno's story was completed yesterday, and today I had a fit of inspiration and finished Taeil's story, which I'm very happy with.

Those four stories are now done – the first draft that is, I still need to edit, improve and finally proofread all of them. But the hard part is over.

For Lucas, I have an idea that is too tailored and perfect for him not to write it. But no matter how many times I try, I only manage to get part way, before I feel like the whole thing is shit. Still, because the idea fits him so well, I am determined to keep trying and eventually get it right.

That leaves only one member: Winwin

In Winwin's case, I have written maybe 5 different stories over the course of the last six months. I've trashed every single one of them, except in once case where I ended up using it as the story for a completely different member. I thought it was a better fit, and that story has already been published.

In my current draft – and I don't mind sharing this since I likely won't end up using it – Winwin meets a girl during a ski trip in the Northeast mountains of Korea, and ends up having sex with her in the snow in a forest. But because they're clothed and in ski gear, it's just not sexy enough.

I simply cannot seem to come up with a story that I feel fits Winwin's personality and real life experiences. Maybe it's because it's not someone I find particularly interesting or sexy (apart from his adorable wide ears 😍). He's simply not a member that stands out enough to me to feel like I'm doing him justice.

So, I thought it would be okay if I asked for a little help. Maybe you have an idea that will make it click for me?

If you think you might – and only if you don't mind sharing it – send me an Ask. I'll go through any suggestions I might receive, in an attempt to get inspired.

If this little exercise fails, I might end up using the ski trip story after all, and spice it up with more sex in a warmer place. But at the moment, I feel completely stuck on this one.

Would you help shape the final "season" of this series? 😊 Thanks in advance if you do!

[icallhimjoey]

Easier In Greece

♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 

Summary: Joe's in an interesting stage of life when he's offered an equally interesting project. You whisk him off to Greece and spend eight days together on a boat with high expectations of which none turn out to be true. CW / disclaimer: rpf (don’t read if this makes you uncomfy), fem!reader, brief mention of claustrophobia, dead octopuses, fish touching you, Joe loses those sunglasses - no nvm its all silly shit, you'll be fine

Author’s note: this is so completely out of my comfort zone, and i felt weird all throughout writing it, but i had kind words of @ghostinthebackofyourhead​​ to coach me through - hope you liiiiiike, replies and reblogs are appreciated!

Wordcount: 7.9K

Again, Joe and love didn’t meet, even though he so desperately had hoped that this had been it. 

The one. 

It very muchly hadn’t been, and in hindsight, he didn’t really know why he’d ever thought it was. 

Now in his late twenties, Joe decided to stop and have look at the stats. Maybe an industry party wasn’t the best location to take time to reflect, but the stunning woman who just shot Joe down forced him into looking inwards for a second. 

What am I doing wrong? Joe thought. 

Unsurprisingly, Joe concluded that the stats weren’t good at all. 

So, just for now, for the foreseeable future, the summer at least, Joe was done with women. Sure, they’d be all shiny and smiley in ads, on Instagram, in films… but those same women would never come over to his flat and just sit on his Ikea sofa with him after a long day’s work. 

Looking back, Joe realised that he’d chosen a tactic that felt oddly similar to what American boxers call dope-a-rope; no matter how hard your competition, or even yourself, tries to get you down, you won’t actually get down until you hit yourself in the face. At least, that’s what Joe thought dope-a-rope meant, anyway. 

Failed first dates, failed second dates, situationships that never turned into relationships, relationships ending over all sorts of different reasons – Joe forgot about them fast, in hopes that he’d know exactly what to do when he’d finally run into her; the one. 

Joe was young still, you know, if you asked anyone older, but he already had enough of all of this bullshit. 

So. Bye, ladies. 

That’s what he decided would be the right plan for him that night. Tell love goodbye. Easy enough to say it aloud, and it was a decision that after four drinks felt totally right, but Joe hadn’t anticipated what it meant to actually try to stick with it. 

He felt a bit like a mad, distraught toddler whose balloon had just popped.

When he saw the head of Olivier Magazine walking up to him, someone he met previously and wouldn’t really consider a friend, but he had some pictures to show that they at least knew each other, he decided to take it all out on him. 

“Matthew,” Joe started when he walked into earshot.

“Joe,” he replied, unaware of Joe’s intentions. “Good to see you, mate. I’m going to call you tomorrow with a real fun project for you.” And then Matthew walked right past him, leaving Joe without words.

The next day, hungover-Joe got the phone call. 

“Joe, it’s Matt, say… you’re a single man, aren’t you?” 

“… yes.”

Then the conversation had taken a surprisingly strange turn. A journalist had a spread in mind for Olivier Magazine with a very specific focus: tour companies for single people who invite ambitious travelers on somewhat of a budget who are looking to meet and connect with like-minded people while exploring new and exciting places along the way. She really wanted to focus on single men. The trip abroad would more so just be the background for it. 

It sounded like an accumulation of every nightmare Joe had ever had. 

“I’m sure you’ll appreciate the break, and we’ll get some fantastic photos taken!” 

Joe listened to Matt’s pitch as he swiftly opened his laptop where he googled the name of the journalist that he’d mentioned. It only took a couple of seconds for Joe to find himself staring at a picture of you. A pretty girl, around his age, smiling at him like those women did in the ads, and on Instagram. 

“You-” Joe interrupted Matt who still was in the middle of talking about how beautiful the Mediterranean Sea was this time of year. “-are not being serious, are you?”

About a week later, Joe got an e-mail from you. “Hey Joe, have you heard? We’re going to go on a trip together.” 

Day One: London to Athens

Greece was where you were taking Joe. The place where Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, left her footsteps in the sand. It was precisely the wrong thing to tell Joe upon first meeting him, but you didn’t know, and he also didn’t let on. 

You were looking at an eight-day boat trip with Joe, and you still weren’t sure how you’d gotten Olivier roped in on it. The idea seemed too bold to even be taken seriously at all, but maybe that was exactly why Matthew had decided to go for it. And he knew just the guy for it too.

Had Joe not accepted to go on this trip with you for you to write about single men on trips designed for single people, you probably still would’ve been sat at home, hoping that maybe another magazine would have only even considered listening to you talk about your ideas for original spreads to grace their pages. 

But Joe had accepted, and now you were both on a boat from the organisation One Wave that was a lot smaller than you had expected. The captain of the boat, nicknamed Mr Wave by you, but never when he was around, had told you about the 2500 Greek islands and about the same number of singles that had been on the very boat you’d be staying on. 

You had only just met a couple hours earlier, a quick handshake before boarding the plane in London. There had been some pleasantries e-mailed back and forth to at least try to get some knowledge of who either of you were before venturing out across Europe together, but it had all been quick, shallow words on screens. It was entirely different to be able to look into Joe’s eyes when you spoke to him. 

Joe was charming. 

Maybe not exactly your type, but... something oozed from him that you hadn’t been able to witness through his e-mails.

You were relieved to find out that you weren’t sat together on the flight. There was no need for small talk, or other awkward conversation. And from your seat, you had a pretty good view of him, which was even better. It gave you a chance to scope him out a little, see how he treated the flight attendants, the people he was sat near, what he’d do if the plane was to plummet over France somewhere and crash… all for the article you’d write, of course. 

When Matthew said that Joe Quinn was game for your plans, you’d silently cursed at him. 

An actor? 

A single actor? 

One who was on pretty much every guest list of every award show right now? 

Big ask for him not to be absolutely full of himself. 

But so far, he seemed fine. Normal. Almost a little boring. 

To be able to take off on the boat, you were going to have to find it first. A difficult task on the first night in a country of which neither of you spoke or could even read the language. 

It was dark and the harbour was larger than you thought it’d be. Joe was using the flashlight on his phone to shine at every boat’s name in hopes of accidentally finding the right one within the first few minutes. 

You were surprised that you felt a little responsible for your travel buddy – this whole thing had been your idea, and had you had more time to prepare, you’d have taken Joe to the right boat immediately.

Joe had been gracious enough during your search to offer to carry your bag. He immediately regretted helping out when he felt the weight of it as he threw it over his shoulder, but he didn’t mention it.

Joe was happy you weren’t as shy as he would’ve been in this situation had he been in your shoes. You had no issue asking for the right way a million times, using hands and feet to signal what you were looking for, until you finally pinpointed the correct boat.  

When you finally set foot on board of the boat named Paris – named after a Greek Prince that seduced the beautiful Helena, or kidnapped her, depending on how much of a feminist you were – you met the other travelers. 

Tim, who brought his six-year-old son, which was weird. It made Joe and you look at each other funny, clearly thinking the same thing. 

Dan, a guy from Manchester who kept saying, “Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but,” before everything he said. 

And Martin, the owner of the boat and thus your captain for the week. 

There were other guests, more of them, who weren’t sat on deck; either already asleep inside, or still on their way over. 

The two of you would obviously also be sleeping on the boat. That led to one of those things Joe hadn’t even fully thought of yet: sleeping arrangements. 

Did you want a small, tiny room with bunkbeds originally designed for two children? Or did you want to sleep in the one double bed left located in the front of the boat?

Joe swallowed hard when he looked at you, the choices echoing in his mind. Stay in a bed, with you? Joe might have bid farewell to love, albeit temporarily, he was still a man.

“Joe?” 

 “It’s your call.” ever the gentleman. 

And after a quick tour and a swift look at the options, it was an easy choice to make. There was no way the bunkbeds were going to fit Joe’s legs.

“We’ll take the double bed.” 

Day Two: Athens to Epidaurus

The mornings were busy on the boat. Besides the guests you met the night before, you got to meet the other passengers of the Paris. Charlie, Martin’s son Jesse, who happened to also be Charlie’s best friend, and two older lovers, Daisy and Frank. 

It’s entirely not the vibe you thought you’d find on this trip, island hopping in Greece, being amongst travelers on the lookout for other singles to meet and mingle with. There was a child and a couple within your group, and it threw you for a loop. 

This wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for your multiple page opinion piece that would feature stunning photographs (you imagined, they hadn’t been taken yet) of a bronzed Joe Quinn, an open white shirt loosely hung over his shoulders, billowing in the wind on a luxurious yacht, with a deep blue sea and Grecian islands in the background. 

The mental image of it had been so dreamy, but this felt a bit like a weird family trip with a bunch of relatives who had seen you last when you were in diapers still. 

You learned later that the couple was only there because the divorced Frank had already booked the trip before he’d met Daisy through online dating, and he hadn’t been able to get a refund. They were very apologetic about it. What was worse, and not entirely clear to Joe and you just yet, was that Frank and Daisy had immediately taken a liking to the both of you because they thought they weren’t the only couple there.

There were other boats from One Wave, and when you bobbed out of the harbour onto the open sea, you could see that there were at least eight of the same boats, traveling alongside you. There wasn’t enough wind to let the sails down, but that was alright. Slowly hours passed as you passed the islands, sun beaming down, sunscreen thick on your nose and tops of your shoulders. 

As a journalist, you’d decided to use your skills to get Joe talking. 

When you sat down next to Joe on the edge of the boat near the front, legs dangling over, catching splashes of the seawater below, Joe hadn’t expected your approach to have been teaching him an unasked lesson about time and space.

“So, think of this,” you said. “There’s no time. It’s not there, doesn’t exist.” Your facial expression was utterly serious as you rambled about past, present and future all stacked on top of each other. You tried your hardest to get a reaction out of Joe. “Really, the universe just has its way to take care of you, trust me.”

Joe wasn’t convinced. What you’d hoped would’ve happened was that Joe would’ve either outrageously agreed or disagreed with you. It held the opportunity to either dive deep into a philosophic chat or would have the two of you bickering. Either one would’ve given you food for thought for your article. 

What you hadn’t anticipated is where Joe took it. 

Humour. 

After three minutes you had to ban him from making further jokes about it. 

After a full day of getting to know everyone, you all stepped off your boats in Epidaurus around four in the afternoon. Adding all the other boats and their passengers to your group, you ended up in a company of about thirty people.  

The group held more men than women, but to your surprise, there were also women in their thirties who had brought their children along. And over dinner and drinks you learned that Dan, from your boat, also had a son around the same age as Tim’s he had wanted to bring along. It was due to a miscommunication with his ex-wife that that hadn’t happened. 

Joe caught Dan looking at Tim’s boy with sad eyes and had cleared his throat loudly before changing the subject over to Jesse and Charlie, the two lads in their earlier twenties. 

Unbeknownst to you, Joe found himself to have a lot in common with them when they talked about girls, and how they had given up on them for a bit. The chat at your table turned almost therapeutic; everyone shared why they were single, and it was all different, but all complex. 

You didn’t share, and neither did Joe. No one pressed it, which was nice.

And then it dawned on you. 

People go on these trips more so to avoid couples all together. 

To not be surrounded by public displays of affection from lovey-dovey coupled-up friends and family. 

To be on a trip where you’re not the third or fifth wheel amongst them. 

To be in a group of like-minded people and to just hang out together. 

It’s why there were children there too – how lovely must it be to take a trip with other single parents who share the same hardships as you? The whole world suddenly seemed to be catered towards couples only, unfairly so. 

You felt like you discovered a secret treasure not meant for your eyes. Your revelation blew fresh air into your passion project, right there at the dinner table, and you tapped away in your notes app on your phone to capture as much of your trail of thought as you could. 

When you noticed Joe peeking over you shoulder, you shoved him away.

“Are you not meant to be writing about me?” Joe smirked, having caught some of what you were writing down.

“I was.” You said pointedly, closing the app and putting your phone down.

Day Three: Epidaurus to Poros

For the second time, Joe woke up next to you which ultimately wasn’t as weird as he thought it would have been. 

Should have been. 

You both were very adult about it together. But sometimes a bigger boat would pass, and it’d make your boat dance over larger waves. Not an issue, maybe a little nauseating, but it meant that you’d accidentally touch a lot in the night. You were both level-headed about it though. Definitely well-trained professionals. Joe tried to think of another job where people had to sleep in the same bed, for several nights, in sticky Mediterranean heat after hanging out in swimwear all day. 

Nothing came to mind.

It hadn’t just been the sleeping arrangement that had helped grow the sense of familiarity between the two of you fast. Standing in one of the tiny bathrooms of the boat, you were both brushing your teeth, and Joe wasn’t sure why or how he felt this was a totally normal thing to do, but he’d lean over your shoulder to spit into the sink for which you would then turn the tap on to wash it away.

Professionals.

You started that day with a big sigh. There was a bus excursion planned to a museum in Epidaurus, but you weren’t in the mood for it. 

“I’m not a huge fan of seeing things,” you protested with a shrug. It was a weird hill to die on, entirely made up of lies. You were just moody. “Things are places. I get it.” 

It made Joe remember why he’d sworn off love.  

“So, don’t come then.” Joe tried. 

“No, no,” Another sigh. “I’ll come.” 

Women.

When you got to the museum, Joe didn’t understand how you were still fun to be around when grumpy. He wondered if he was fun to be around, just so that this trip would at least be a little bearable for you, but you hadn’t mentioned anything to Joe about it yet, so he figured he was fine. You seemed the type of person to tell him straight away if he was boring, and he kind of liked that about you. 

Because the old Greeks didn’t have microphones, obviously, the museum you had set foot into was known for its acoustics. Every room had been designed for sound to travel. When Charlie and Jesse had gleefully decided to test it by singing Sweet Caroline, they had your entire group join in within seconds. 

“Hands… touching hands… reaching out… touching me… touching you…”

They became louder and rowdier, dancing now too, arms reaching and touching each other. Smiles grew bigger when no one seemed to stop them. The other tourists there however did not seem very happy with the disruption, and Joe saw you take a few steps away from the group.

“Having fun?” Joe yelled, trying to speak over the echoing voices practically shouting the chorus, half of them adding boisterous ‘so good, so good, so good’ whilst punching the air to fill the short silence in between. Meanwhile Dan had found a table to drum the beat onto as others clapped.

“This is really embarrassing,” you mouthed at Joe, seeing the judgmental eyes from strangers that hurriedly left the room you were in. It only prompted Joe to be more embarrassing as he tried to rope you back into the group with cheesy dance moves and singing in a comically deep voice. 

And you couldn’t actually believe it, but something about the joy that Joe could let shine from his eyes made you give in and join them in their antics. 

After that, things got better. 

Your mood got better. 

Especially when you found a hotel where everyone was allowed a five-minute shower. It was likely to be the last good shower that you would get for the week. 

That afternoon you sailed your way over to Poros, and you were struck by how much every single place you visited looked like it wasn’t real. Too picturesque. As if built for multi-million Hollywood films.  

Poros, Martin told you, had a boulevard, so you could go shopping if you wanted to. Immediately excited, you helped dock the boat, having learnt a thing or two by now. You managed to jump of the boat swiftly, and caught the ropes thrown at you with ease, quickly tying them onto the thick hooks meant for them.

When Joe helped you get back onto the boat, something happened that made him feel for you: your sunglasses fell into the water. Joe watched them slowly sink deeper, and he was touched by how much the two of you were alike. Losing your sunglasses in the water was something so typical for Joe to do.  

“Quick! Get them!” you called out, but Joe looked into the clear water and saw how they were already so close to the bottom. The two of you just watched as they hit the sand. 

“Shit,” you muttered. “Those were such a good pair, too. Now you’ll have to get new ones.”

Hang on a minute, what? 

Confused, Joe reached for the top of his head. 

“Oh.” 

Those sunglasses weren’t yours. 

They were Joe’s. 

Losing sunglasses in the water wasn’t something Joe would do. It’s something he did.

You spent the afternoon walking the boulevard and perching pairs of sunglasses on Joe’s slightly sunburned nose, in search of finding a pair that you both liked on him.

“What about these ones?” Joe asked you and turned his face so you could see. 

You looked up from your phone at him shortly. 

“Those are nice.” 

And to be fair, you liked most of them on Joe, but Joe wasn’t as easy. He was after a pair similar enough to the ones he’d lost and took the job seriously. 

“Listen, I know you’re here to do a job,” Joe placed his hand over your phone and pushed it down slightly. “But right now, your job should be to tell me how beautiful I look in these instead of writing about it.” Joe joked, and it was enough to make you laugh and slide your phone back into your pocket.  

“You look stunning.” 

“Okay, I’ll get them.”

Day Four: Poros to Vathy

“You’re single because you don’t know how to have a proper argument,” a friend of Joe had told him before he’d gone on this trip. 

Joe had heard so many sentences start with “You’re single because…” but this was a new one. And Joe had agreed. Joe was quick to admit he’d been wrong, even if he hadn’t been, would just listen to complaints and then adapt, giving the other person no pushback. It was just easier that way.

This trip, however, wasn’t the time to practice arguing for the sake of getting better at it and perhaps enhancing his luck in relationships.

On the boat you laughed a lot. 

The way you’d envisioned all of you to be a weird make-shift family had kind of become reality in the best sense of the word. You had revealed to be a journalist who was merely on the trip to write about it, and it had intrigued everyone. 

Charlie and Jesse had immediately come up with pseudonyms for themselves: Charlie would be Jesse, and Jesse would be Charlie. It was such a stupid joke; it had left you giggling just thinking of it hours later. 

Joe had then also told them that he was there as your subject, which made it sound as if you held full power over him. You realised then that you sort of did and wondered if that was how Joe had felt the whole time you’d been around each other. You hoped he hadn’t, knowing it would be so much nicer if Joe would just be fully himself without also keeping busy doing guesswork as to what you’d write about him later. Plus, you’d kind of grown fond of the Joe you had gotten to know, so imagining him not being fully himself stung a little.

Once you got off the boat and stepped into Vathy, your legs felt wobbly stepping onto land. “Sea legs,” you said when grabbing hold of the closest thing to you to find your balance. 

“Here.” 

The closest thing had been Joe, and he held out his arm for you to link yours through for your walk. 

More of your company felt their legs had to get used to being on steady ground again, and Martin had given you the advice to go for a run around the island. It would get jitters out, but more importantly pump oxygen into your muscles which would prevent funny legs later in the trip. 

The sun was high in the sky, and Joe really didn’t want to work out, but after lunch you managed to talk him into it by challenging his ego. He threw it right back at you; there was no way you would be able to keep up with him, that’s obviously why he hadn’t wanted to go running with you at first, but if you really insisted on learning how slow you really were, you were Joe’s guest. 

Joe mentally took back every joke he made when he later saw you fighting up a hill in the blearing heat of the late afternoon. 

On your run together through winding, sandy lanes you were stopped twice by sheep and cows crossing the street. It was almost ridiculous how cliché it all felt, but Vathy really was more beautiful than you’d seen online. On your left you were looking down at the sea where the light was dancing on the waves like liquid diamonds. 

Far from the harbour, more out to open sea, a dozen or so shapes bobbed up and down on the water, and with their shiny black bodies, they could easily be mistaken for seals. But if you looked closer, you’d see they were surfers waiting, watching for their next wave. 

You had pointed them out to Joe, but secretly, Joe only had eyes for you. 

Maybe it was just the air up there, Joe hoped, but you were so pretty like this. 

Sweaty cheeks, lips flushed, chest heaving. 

Joe didn’t mind you taking the lead, running two, three steps ahead, turning into side roads and deciding which way to go. It gave him all the more opportunity to look at you.

When you stopped for some water, body pumping with endorphins, you noticed how Joe’s white T-shirt was drenched in his sweat, its white fabric now translucent enough for you to see his nipples through. 

Seeing them like this was inherently funnier than seeing them when Joe would be topless, swimming, diving off the boat and climbing back on only to dive off again. 

You smiled through heavy pants and after screwing the top back onto your water bottle, you used a finger to poke him right in one of his nipples before scurrying off, continuing your run.

Day Five: Vathy to Perdika 

Today you were harshly reminded you were on a business trip instead of a family holiday when you were called by Olivier Magazine. There was only just enough reception for you to take the call and talk through the material you had so far.  

You’d snuck into the bedroom for it, so others wouldn’t hear, but you’d forgotten the hatch window in the ceiling that opened to the deck where Joe was laid out to sunbathe. 

“Not yet, I don’t want it too forced, you know? I’ll have to sneak a few,” 

“I could just use my phone,”

“Yea, I have it, it’s just huge,” 

“Not really… but, yea, no, okay,”

“Okay, I will.”

Joe didn’t like how you sounded defeated as you ended the call, but moved over quickly, away from the hatch window. 

When you stepped out in a shy-making short dress, carrying a big camera, Joe understood you’d been given an awkward task. It was absolutely impossible to sneak pictures of him with that, so he decided he’d help out. 

“Ooh, give that to me!” he held out a hand from all the way across the boat, encouraging you to make your way over and hand him the camera. Joe took it like a child would take a toy, turned it on and immediately started playing with settings, taking test shots of his feet dangling over the edge. 

You internally sighed with relief and thought of what else your writing should include. Joe’s helpful demeanour, for sure. 

You let Joe play with the camera, warning him not to drop it from the boat like he had done his sunglasses, forcing him to wear the strap around his neck at all times, and you made your way back into the cabin. 

It was time to get some words out, from your phone and from your brain onto your laptop and hopefully in a coherent enough manner to get some of it over to Olivier for feedback. 

So, you sat down opposite the kitchen and organised everything you needed. 

You could hear people laugh up on the deck, and you imagined them posing for photos Joe was taking of them. It took some pressure off, knowing Joe had fun without you meant you could just sit inside for a bit to get work done.  

It had been over two hours when you heard the camera’s shutter a lot closer to you than you felt was possible with you being the only one inside. You looked up from your laptop to see a hand holding it stuck through a hatch window in the ceiling, lens pointing at you. You smiled but said you’d delete that later. It was met with loud groans from the deck, followed by Daisy who told the boys to leave you alone.  Another 45 minutes passed.

“Jesse, you’re lowering the anchor in three minutes!” Martin called out as he stepped down the ladder into the cabin. 

“Have you ever snorkelled before?” he asked you as he reached for a cabinet, revealing a pile of different kinds of goggles inside.

You didn’t think you’d ever felt more claustrophobic in your life, breathing through a tube with your face down under the water. The fact that the water was clear enough for you to see how deep it was really didn’t help. 

And even though very pretty, fish would get very close to you and you didn’t want to touch them. 

“Come here,” Joe swam over when you’d sputtered and coughed again as you attempted another go at it. 

“You know how to float on your back, right? It’s the same, but face down.” 

And Joe’s hands guided your body as his legs kicked underneath him to keep himself above water. He placed one hand on your stomach that pushed up slightly. 

“That's it.” 

His other hand was for you to grip onto, because panic hadn’t left your system yet and Joe held onto it until you’d gotten the hang of it. 

Day Six: Perdika to Korfos

Joe was sixteen when for the first time something happened in his life that was love-related. He was sitting on a bench and had been inches away from kissing a girl. He could still see himself sitting there, but strangely enough he really couldn’t remember for the life of him if he got to actually kiss her that afternoon, or not. 

It was a thought that was wrecking his brain whilst laying out to tan on the Paris. 

You were next to him, and you were reading – or at least, holding onto a book, but away from everyone else, you fell into easy conversation together. 

Joe talked about the girl on the bench when he’d been sixteen. 

Your chats had been borderline forgettable on day one, but nearing in on a week later, your chats had gotten deeper, and Joe fed you information for your piece. 

You wondered if you should mention that nothing was off the record with you as Joe’s chats got more private, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment and shut him up. 

Joe talked about the women from the ads, Instagram and films and how none of them ever found themselves sat in his living room. How he’d been shot down as he had tried to flirt with someone at an industry party where he’d ran into Matthew. 

You were at that party too, but you refrained from telling Joe. 

You hadn’t seen him, but it stung a little that he’d been there and had been willing to flirt with strangers. You could’ve been one of them. You remembered Matthew telling you that night that he had green-lit your pitch, and you’d gotten plastered. 

Who knows what would’ve happened had actually ran into him that night.

To break the tension a little, Joe pointed a passing boat. 

“Look,” he said. “That’s what I think–” and then Joe looked at you before sarcastically adding a side comment, “way, way, after you of course,” you raised your eyebrows and looked in the direction of Joe’s pointing finger. “– is a pretty lady.”

“Are you joking?” you couldn’t help but chuckle. 

It was entirely too predictable. 

Joe’d pointed out a gorgeous blonde girl who couldn’t have been older than 20 at most, wearing a bright pink shimmery bikini with a huge sunhat that shaded her face perched on top of her head. 

Of course he thought she was beautiful; she was textbook pretty.

“If that’s your type I want to formerly apologise for you not having met any on this trip.” 

You turned over onto your stomach, letting the sunbeams dance along your back to even out your tan. 

“Dolphins!” Martin suddenly shouted, making Joe eat whatever his reaction to your comment was going to be. 

You both sat up immediately and saw them shooting over the water. It was a perfect image: the calm blue sea, green mountains from the islands you were passing and the stretched out blue sky with dolphins playing along the side of your boat. 

It felt like a fairy tale, and you were lucky someone handed you your camera in time for you to capture it. 

Sailing led you to a new island and a new village. 

Korfos was a place so small, there wasn't even ATMs there, and Martin only knew of one restaurant for you to go to. There you were greeted by something you’d never seen before in your life. Outside, bordering the seating area where you all sat down, there was a tight twine bound between two trees that was filled with hanging octopuses, drying out in the sun side by side. You learned it was a traditional way of preparing them, but that didn’t take away your slight alarm at the sight. 

At dinner Martin told old sailing stories, you pointed at blonde girls for Joe which you found a lot funnier than he did, and Dan got drunk. When he, at the end of dinner, helped two young children buy ice cream, he looked back at your table and shouted, “Just like old times! Kids, man, they’re the best thing that can happen to you!” And no one poked fun or told him to calm down. The sheer acceptance felt ‘round the table could’ve make you cry.

When back on the boat, all tucked into bed, Dan was still drunk. 

“Ay, ay captain!” he kept yelling from his bed, and the both of you were doing a bad job stifling your laughter. It had you rolling into each other in between the sheets. 

“Hey,” Dan yelled, and the both of you froze in anticipation of what as going to be coming next, big eyes looking into each other’s. 

“I might be old-fashioned,” his catchphrase made laughter escape Joe’s throat loudly. 

“But don’t put me on the cover of your magazine, alright?” 

You could go into detail of why what he just said was wrong, because you didn’t yield that power, the magazine wasn’t yours, and he was just Dan from Manchester, a single dude who missed his son. Why would he be on the cover of Olivier Magazine? 

But obviously, you didn’t do that.

“Okay, Dan, I promise.”

Day Seven: Korfos to Athens

You had been woken up by Joe carefully peeling your arm off of his chest and sliding away from your embrace. 

It was almost painful when you realised what he was doing, and the gentleness of his fingers that tried their best not to wake you made it worse. 

Your arm must have snuck its way over in the night, and you hadn’t been aware, but it left you embarrassed enough to avoid Joe’s eyes during breakfast.

While the day had started with a beautiful sea for all of you to dip into before setting of back to Athens, it wasn’t your day. Which was a shame for your last full day in Greece. 

You thought it might have been the looming end of your trip, or the pressure of finishing up writing that you really should have done so much more of. But you kept mulling over the fact that Joe had moved you away from him in bed that morning, and ultimately, that was what had affected you the most.

At noon, when there was time to walk into Athens and have some fun, Joe pressured you to join him, which you felt you couldn’t. 

Also, he couldn’t, because you needed photographs of Joe on a boat with an opened white shirt that billowed behind him in the wind, like you’d envisioned when you booked this trip for the two of you. 

But you weren’t going to ask him to pose for you, because you felt dumb for having to do so. 

And Joe’s chest was peeling because he hadn’t been using sunscreen properly. 

None of it was right.

Suddenly, you were fighting. And as friendly and professional you’d been all throughout the week, so mean were you towards each other now. You were all biting remarks, scratchy words, and angry tones.

“You can’t not come, it’s our last full day!” Joe had roped Dan and Martin in on it too. Three against one, entirely unfair, especially after his rejection of you that morning because that's what it had become in your mind.

“Wanker,” you muttered before shutting the flimsy door to your bedroom and shutting him out. Joe thought you were being absolutely ridiculous, but it really pissed him off when you shouted, “Yes, I’m a horrible person!” putting words in his mouth.

“God, you’re not a bad person! I never said that!”

You were still hissing at each other when you joined Dan and Martin, piling into a taxi together to go and climb the Acropolis of Athens. Martin had managed to talk you into it and you’d angrily given in. When Joe looked surprised, and offered to help you get off the boat, you’d refused and had taken a big jump. 

Joe pretended he hadn’t seen you almost fall over and scrape up your knees. 

The climb to the top had been a silent one. Dan would stop to take photographs with your camera, and you were glad the task of capturing Joe was in someone else’s hands. 

At the top of the Acropolis, you thought to yourself that more than only the Parthenon had been damaged. 

And for what? 

Stress over work? 

From up here, you looked down behind you and felt silly at the problems you’d created for yourself down there. 

Dan passed you your camera, and you caught Joe looking over at you.

“Do you still like me?” Joe asked when he started growing doubtful if your friendship was still mendable, to at least finish the trip nicely. 

“No,” you answered, but you smiled. 

The sun within you had risen. “Can I take your picture?” you asked, the source of the initial problem now out of you.

“Of course, go ahead.” 

Back from all the ruins, you put Dan and Martin in a taxi back to the harbour and decided to go for dinner and drinks in Athens. To see what the night life was like here. 

“And we’ll see if we can find you a nice blonde girl!” 

You laughed at the fact that what you had originally thought this whole trip was going to be, the great purpose of going on a trip designed for single people, got boiled down to this last evening on the last day of the full thing.  

But first, there was dinner.

You found a cosy little restaurant tucked away in an alley and Joe knew that the connection he felt to you then was much stronger than before because of the fight you’d had earlier. 

“They all thought we were a couple, hey?” Joe said, speaking truths that had been left unspoken up until then. 

“Yea,” you nodded. “Made me feel a little proud on our first day here,” you confessed, and you saw Joe bite the inside of his cheek.

Joe thought that was the nicest thing you’d said to him, and it was going to be weird that he wasn’t going to be seeing you anymore in two days. Because you weren’t his, he knew that. It felt a little like, how the classic Paris had kidnapped Helena, Joe had kidnapped you for a week. 

“You know,” you started. “You don’t have to be so mythical about women. Really, it’s all way easier than you think. Sometimes just ‘are you free tonight’ is enough if it’s the right one.” 

Were you flirting? 

“Easier, huh? I’ll try and remember that. Can I tell you something crazy?” 

“Sure,” you had your doubts about how crazy whatever Joe was going to tell you was going to be. 

The Joe you had gotten to know wasn’t crazy at all. He was kind, soft, funny, and caring. 

You’d formed a weird friendship, where sometimes you’d catch him staring at you and he’d look away quickly. 

The boundaries you had initially felt between the two of you that served its purpose for you as a journalist to keep at least a little distance had been completely shattered on that first night in bed together. 

“When I agreed to do this trip with you, it was only because I’d sworn of women.” Joe started, not making the best case for himself. 

“Interesting, is it men now?” you joked, before pointedly adding, “Everything’s on the record here, choose your words wisely.” which made Joe laugh.

“I’m sure you have those moments where you’re just exhausted with the whole premise of dating, right? Especially in London.” Joe relayed it back to you, which was smart. It instantly meant that if you were going to answer, you wouldn’t want to include it in your piece. 

So, you shrugged in a non-answer. 

“I made a pact with myself that, for at least the summer, I wouldn’t try to chase it.” 

“Chase what?” 

“Love.” 

You froze for a second and looked up at Joe. 

“And how’s that gone so far?” 

The air felt charged and you could see the straight path you wanted Joe to walk right towards you, but with every word Joe’d say, there was the possibility that he’d stray off of it. 

Every next word out of Joe’s mouth was either going to be terrible or magnificent.  

“Oh, it was so effortless for the first few days.” Of your trip, Joe meant. “You’ve seen our group.” Joe then stated, and you laughed. 

“We’re not exactly surrounded by temptation, are we?” 

A silence lingered, and you tried to imagine what Joe was thinking. Did he disagree? Were you temptation? Had Joe not removed your arm from his body because he felt disgusted by it, but because it would open doors he didn’t feel he could open? Should open? Or, had he been just hot and uncomfortable under your sticky limb? You just realised that had been an option too.

“I didn’t think I’d have so much fun on this tip, though. I think I’ve come to love all of you a bit.” Joe then smiled, and you copied it. 

Yes, he was right. 

Tim and his kid had become your somewhat distant uncle who relished in teaching his son how to play sudoku. 

Dan was the drunk uncle who had so much weight on his shoulders, it had turned him funny. 

Martin was the father, and not just because Jesse would call him dad all the time. 

Jesse and Charlie were your younger brothers, maybe even twin brothers, who were annoying sometimes but hilarious always. 

Frank and Daisy felt like grandparents, even though technically they weren’t old enough unless a string of teen pregnancies tied you together. 

You weren’t sure who you and Joe were in this family, or what you were to each other for that matter.

“Me too,” you said. “It’s going to be a weird couple of pages in Olivier next month.” 

 “Yea?” 

“It’ll have your face on, I’m sure it’ll do good, but it’s absolutely not what I expected it was going to be beforehand.” 

Joe just looked at you. 

“Which is probably good, if I had found exactly what I thought I was going to find, I might as well not have gone.” 

“What did you find?” Joe pressed.

“Ah, you’ll have to read that in the magazine like everybody else next month, I’m afraid.” You teased. 

And so, he did. Joe’s management had received a copy of the magazine about 4 days before its release date. 

Summer was over, and the autumn issues were about to come out. It graced Joe on the cover, sat on the side of the boat, legs dangling over the side, arms and head resting on the metal bar that prevented him from falling into the water. 

You could see his peeling chest and his sunburnt nose, and with the sun shining bright, Joe hadn’t opted to slide the sunglasses from his hair, but instead he had shut one eye and squinted at the camera with a smile. It was very boyfriend of him, entirely too dreamy not to have been chosen as the cover shot. You hadn’t taken it, and it had cost you precious company time to figure out who did, feeling like proper credits were in order. 

It had left you with contact details to every single person you’d gotten to know on your trip, and you’d promised yourself you’d share all of it with Joe once the magazine would be out and you’d have a reason to e-mail him. 

You’d managed to get twelve pages in. Twelve! It was double the amount you’d ever gotten in a magazine before. It was nine pages of photographs, and three pages of writing. You were nervous of what Joe was going to think of it, not even knowing if he was ever really going to read it. 

Joe did read it, though. 

Turning pages of photos, he was sad there hadn’t been any of you in them. 

Some of the others had made it in; there was a smaller picture of Joe, Charlie and Jesse as they posed near the bow of the boat as if they were Greek Gods; a photo Daisy had taken of them. Martin was there too, sat behind the boat wheel wearing a captain’s hat that you hadn’t seen him wear for the full trip. 

Joe was surprised by how much he missed it all; it truly felt like he was flipping through a family photo album and his chest filled with nostalgia. 

“Got a copy. Need to call you. I don’t have your number, and Matthew won’t give it because he says I’ve got your e-mail.” 

Joe sent an e-mail and had to wait entirely too long for you to reply to it. 

“What a way to induce an anxiety attack on a Tuesday afternoon.” You’d e-mailed back, followed by your phone number. 

It only took seconds for Joe to call.

“Sorry, no need to panic!” were the first words out of his mouth before you’d even gotten the chance to say hi.  

“Bad choice of words on my part, sorry, but I’m looking at Olivier now and, I know it’s probably not customary to ring the writer with some feedback, but... it’s beautiful.” he followed. 

“Hi,” you grinned as you got the word in.

“Hi,” Joe replied, sighing a laugh. 

“I’m glad you like it.” 

“You’re not in it.” Joe meant with a picture. He’d taken many of you, so he knew there’d been options for you to try.

“I am. Just in the words.”

“I like that you got some of the others in. Have they seen it yet?” 

“No, but they will. I’ve gotten my hands on everyone’s details.”

“Is it weird that I miss them?” 

“It’s not,” you laughed. “I miss them too. Especially Dan.”

“Especially Dan.” Joe agreed. 

“So, summer’s over.” Joe closed the magazine and looked at his own face on the cover of it. 

“It is.” You confirmed, unsure where Joe was going.

“I erm… I took your advice on not being so mythical about women.” 

“Oh, good!” you were genuinely happy for Joe, and thought that maybe he was going to say how your trip had fixed him and he had now found the one woman who did look like the women do in ads that would also sit on his sofa in his flat with him. 

“Are you free for dinner tonight?”

Oh.

“I- …. Yes. I am.” 

---

The Taglisted: @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @jssmth5 @bagelofthelord67 @nobody-000 @lluviamg06 @thatonefan-girl @kylakins88 @paola-carter @eddiemunsonfuxks​ - add yourself  

[noodlesha]

Sex Education: Season 4 (2023) – Just some thoughts.

Over a span of four days, my housemates and I sat down to watch the final season of sex education; the show had started in 2019 (which feels like a lie, but we move I guess) and was loved by the masses. People really resonated with it as they showcased people dealing with all sorts of different complexities and natures and it was truly wonderful to see so many demographics being represented.

And while I know some of the criticism comes from the fact they favour representation over solid writing, I can understand that sometimes it’s just nice to be seen on a tv show with no ulterior motive and to be frank, this show has some great writing with certain characters. But like most TV shows, it didn’t mean it didn’t have its faults much like this season. But I think the best way to talk about this show is through its characters, which are the driving force of this TV show and it both benefits and fails from it.

The New Characters

When going into it, I was quite sceptical about the new characters, and coming out of it, I think I still am. I enjoyed the representation of ‘The Coven’ or whatever they were called, I think Aisha was written the best out of the three considering she had a broader storyline and I loved how they discussed accessibility for disabled people it was very refreshing. But coming out of the show, I don’t think I felt anything for these characters, and I found myself wishing they had Lily and Ola back.

O felt like a complete waste of a character – it felt like they made her very purposefully antagonistic, and yet when it came time to redeem her character it felt like a last-minute decision. I also think the way they handled her asexuality was very odd and felt quite forced at times, I remember during season one the writers seemed to be suggesting Otis was asexual but then didn’t push through to it, O just seemed like a rehash of that exact thing. There was clearly some stuff left out because O felt very antagonistic back at Otis, but Otis didn’t really do much towards their opposing sex clinics.

Adam (and Michael too)

This storyline became a favourite when the show ended and I didn’t think it would hit me as hard as it did. Adam’s character arc through the show has been very interesting to see, when looking back to last season I was never really a fan of Adam and Eric’s love story but that was the storyline that made me like Adam so I guess there was something to it. I also enjoyed that Adam didn’t go into sixth form and instead followed what his interests were, it’s quite cool to show there are different options rather than just sixth form, then university etc. But I loved the interesting parallels between the son and father, both were coming into their own person which was needed for both of them so they could accept one another and their heart-to-heart at the end was very sweet.

Jackson and Viv

I love the platonic bestie vibes this duo have, it’s so wholesome and I enjoy that the writers never compromised their friendship for a relationship because it’s something you don’t really see that often. I liked the storyline Jackson had surrounding the stigma of cancer in men, it was different and very unexpected but I liked that because it is scary and it weaved very well into his intrigue with his identity. One thing I was a bit confused about was Jackson’s journey with his sexuality; I feel like they slightly breached the topic but there was no clear closure for that storyline which was a big part of his character arc last season, but perhaps I missed something. With Viv, her storyline also quite surprised me; I truly didn’t expect her romance with Beau to take an abusive turn – but in retrospect it’s very interesting to see all the qualities of possessiveness and obsession that Beau had throughout the season. But either way I liked the resolutions in their ending (also loved that Aimee and Viv kind of became a duo), and I’m sad to let them go.

Ruby

One thing I really didn’t like this season was Ruby’s storyline; it was just her pining over Otis again and Otis not giving her an inch despite using her to help his campaign. It felt very backwards to me, especially seeing as Otis didn’t even thank her (more on that later because I have so much more to say on Otis); although she found her own confidence at the end and didn’t dance with him, I honestly would’ve preferred if they were just friends, but I can understand the need to have tension and drama to make things more interesting, but I was just left wanting a bit more with her character rather than her problems being purely surface.

Jean (and her sister… and her baby)

I will be honest, it was very odd to see Jean without Jakob (or Sven as my housemates and I referred to him), but truly I kind of didn’t miss him because they introduced a much more compelling duo with her younger sister. Jean’s storyline was quite interesting; to see a woman struggle with post-partum depression on-screen and not be villainised for it was very refreshing and I thought linking it with her fear of being like her own mother was very good. Her sister’s storyline was also very interesting, I liked how different they were and also that they had a very natural sisterly bond, which is something you don’t see among older women anymore in media.

Cal

I really enjoyed that we got more of a look into Cal's life because that was one reason I didn't really connect with Cal last season was because we didn't get a sense of who they are. But this was majorly broached in this season and I was glad because I really enjoyed their character. Their story was wholly centered around their identity and I thought it was very heartwarming that the school charity came together for their top surgery. Two things that I struggled with though were the fact that their attempt to take their own life was very much brushed over and the fact that their and Jackson's storylines didn't really get completed either. But overall, I really enjoyed their character.

Eric

Honestly, he and Aimee are the best characters on this show, and you can’t even change my mind. One thing I was very glad for was that they tabled the whole Eric and Adam relationship and that they recognised that someone shouldn’t be in a relationship with their bully (and because Eric can do so much better, and I say that while loving Adam as a character too). Something that surprised me but in a good way was his relationship with his religion, it’s so interesting to see because you don’t see a lot of this, especially nowadays. And it was nice to see him flourish with friends that understand him and his views on things (OTHER THAN OTIS WHO DOESN’T CARE), and his turmoil of wanting to be baptised but then realising he doesn’t need that to reaffirm his relationship with God. And Ncuti is just SO funny and charming as Eric, he’s going to be a star one day (especially since he’s been in Barbie and Doctor Who) and I genuinely can’t wait to see it.

Aimee and Issac (but mostly Aimee)

Oh god where do I start, Aimee Gibbs is genuinely one of the best TV show characters ever; she is so likable and the journey her character has gone through is amazing. When the show opens with her documenting her recovery, I was immediately struck that she was going to have a fabulous ending to her story. I loved that she was trying different things like art to express her trauma and seeing her have fun with it was just so, so human and I love when media replicates that side of humanity. One thing that was a pleasant surprise was Issac and Aimee’s relationship; now this may be a controversial take, but I was never really an Issac hater… I know, how insane. So, seeing him get fleshed out more and more was really moving; their relationship was something very different and also made so much sense. I wouldn’t have put them together, but the actors had a lot of chemistry and I enjoyed that they uplifted one another but never crossed any barriers of their own agency.

Maeve

Maeve is a very interesting character; now for another controversial take, I was never a big fan of Maeve, it’s nothing I could really pinpoint but she often seemed very abrasive. But on the flip side, I also respected that about her character, that the writers were never afraid to make her spunky and outspoken, and for her to not be punished for that either. Her storyline this season was great, it made me enjoy her character so much more than I thought I would; the way she acted around the death of her mother was so good and felt very real – and I loved how mature the ending of her, and Otis’ love story was as well. Again, I know some people may think differently but I’m glad they didn’t stay together because let’s be honest, the two wouldn’t last a week ESPECIALLY long distance. She got to focus on herself and her career in the end, which was something she wanted since the beginning of this show; and it was incredibly satisfying to see that on screen.

Otis Dickhead

My, my… you know for the literal LEAD of the show, you’d think they’d write a character that’s at the very least tolerable. Because oh my god, now I’ve never liked the way Otis’ character is written, but Jesus Christ I think we’ve hit an all-time low. One thing he does that drives me up the wall is that he never texted anyone back; like when Ruby kept asking him where he was, he didn’t even message or anything and that was before Maeve’s mum passed away, he is just so inept.

Also, the fact that he’s a so-called sex therapist yet he struggles to article his own problems with BASIC problem-solving skills actually amazes me – I admire the writers for being able to write someone SO thick in the head without going braindead themselves, I really do. Okay rant over – Otis’ storyline really felt like a backdrop to everything in the season, the only interesting thing was his and Maeve’s story and that wasn’t even his main dilemma on the season. Overall, his character is shit and I’m so glad I never have to see his face again (sorry Asa Butterfield, love you!).

[dazaiandhislovelybandages]

𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 {𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘰 𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘰}

A/n: OKAY THIS IS IMPORTANT BEFORE YOU GO ON READING THIS. I am not romanticising depression, these are just the words that I want to hear whenever I am in a state like this so yes. There is nothing romantic about this situation. I know it will suck and to be clear I don't even know why I am writing it to begin with. Also requests are open

Trigger Warnings: depression, crying, mentions of food

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

Pairings: Shinichiro x reader

Even though you couldn’t quite recall when your last depressive episode had ended, a new one came and it wasn’t long before everyone in the house understood what was happening. Hopefully, Emma at least, thought that you were just tired because of your job. Mikey, on the other hand, thought that Shinichiro was the one at fault. Obviously you told him that that wasn’t the case but the boy didn’t seem to change his mind. The grandpa was the only one who actually asked you directly about what was wrong and you did your best to explain the situation.  

  Shinichiro though… Shinichiro seemed to be a completely different case. 

  When the depressive episode began, you did your best to just hide it from everyone even though your plan eventually failed miserably. Slowly but steadily everyone began picking up the hints: you barely left your and Shinichiro’s room, you barely talked, barely smiled and slept like a dog. 

  Shinichiro never asked what was wrong though. You still don’t know whether his grandpa had actually told him anything or not but up until the day you actually talked to him about your depression, he didn’t say a thing.

  You had taken the day off that Thursday after your boss had decided to close the shop for a few days due to a trip he was going to make. Usually, when depressive episodes would occur, you would lock yourself in your room and just stare at the ceiling, sleep or cry. That time however, you didn't want to be left alone and you didn't know why.  

  So slowly you got dressed and headed over to Shinichiro’s shop.

  “Did I forget something?!’ His eyes widened when he saw you and he almost fell off his stool after trying to stand up to greet you. You only shook your head in response. 

  “Can I sit here?”

  “Of course!” 

  See, Shinichiro was perfect but he was terribly oblivious and stupid. So when you actually sat down next to him, he thought you wanted his help with carrying groceries.

  “Do you see any groceries?”

  “No, but I assume you want to… buy them first?”

  “Just keep working.” You rolled your eyes and leaned back against the wall. For a split second you doubted your decision of going there but even after thinking of leaving it seemed as if you had spent your leftover energy in going out. 

  “You know… I can wait, for as long as you need.”

  “Where did that come from?”

  “I can tell you’re not well. You ate exactly seven bites of the breakfast Emma made which to be precise is your favourite, you slept fourteen hours yesterday and on Monday you locked yourself in the bathroom at exactly four in the morning and when you came out your eyes were bloodshot red as if you had been crying.” You just stayed there, staring at him, not knowing what to respond. “You can talk to me about it, you know?”

  “I know. But I am not sure I am ready.”

  “I told you I can wait, angel.” Shinichiro smiled at you and opened his arms. Hesitantly you moved a little closer and placed your head in the crook of his neck the moment he wrapped his arms around you. 

  And you hated yourself even more at that very moment. To be honest you couldn’t even remember what had triggered you into going into that depressive episode to begin with. All you knew was that you hadn’t gone out of it yet and that you were tired. 

  “Tell me, does duty call?” 

  “Mmm?”

  “Sanzu wanted to play with Mikey so I’ll be taking him to Takeomi’s house later this evening. I was planning on staying there until it’s time to leave but do you need me?”

  “You don’t have to cancel your plans Shin.”

  “But I am willing to, if you… if you want me there.”

  “No, go. I asked your grandpa to tell me more scary stories.” You finally wrapped your hands around his waist and smiled when he pulled you even closer.

  “Inspiration?”

  “Boredom.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I am okay.”

  “Is that what you tell yourself?”

  “I suppose.” 

  You don’t know what brought tears to your eyes that moment but after much thinking you figured out it was the realisation that you were in fact not okay and the fact that you hadn’t been hugged by another person at a time like this like ever. Nonetheless you couldn’t avoid the fact that your sobbing slightly quickly turned into you shaking while crying in his arms that somehow remained wrapped around you during the entire thing in an oddly comforting way.

[freakystrashdump]

Do you have any snippets of info or behind curtains lore that you're willing to share? Any Belos and/or Selena crumbs? 🥺🙏

HmmmMMM so it's very iffy on how much I can say and how much I want to remain a surprise for others, but I will try my best to blabber on here for ya :v

So it's no mystery that Belos and Selena are basically the somewhat more functional (and very much less violent) version of my own Priest and Salem, who have been a massive hyper-fixation since late 2019/early 2020. I talked before about how I instantly imprinted on Belos because he is so much of what I envisioned when I created Priest, they have a lot of characteristics they share and a lot of backstory elements that are super similar.

I have spoiled some stuff inadvertently on this blog, because at the time I was developing everything, I wasn't sure I was going to be writing a fic yet, so some things are less of a surprise than others

Now, as for more in detail, fun lore stuff for this, lets go under a read-more, because maybe some peeps don't want me spoiling stuff hehe.

Something that a lot of people have caught on, and I am very happy they did, was that Elsewhere and Elsewhen is gonna be real big for Selena and Belos. I did one fun comic on the topic, and I put the "time shenanigans" tag on the fic, but where people started catching on was around chapter four, after introducing grandma Isabella, and where two things were mentioned: That Belos had a very short infatuation with Isabella upon meeting her, and that, as Isabella puts it, "Selena looks more and more like her every day"

And it's one of the main plot points in the story which I planed very early, it's the reason for Belos' obsession in the first place, and I can't wait to write it all out. I have some bits and pieces already written out. I also plan to do a side-fic of his POV as well, around the time this part of the story finally comes around. And let me tell you, Philip is one fun, deluded guy to write for! A little spoilery snippet for ya:

Some other stuff I am so excited about:

The Oracle aspect of Selena coming more in to play. It has been mostly pushed to the side except for little snippets here and there, however oracle magic is gonna be much more significant. Especially the spirit sensitivity that comes with it, and even the way I plan to change the canon near the end of season 2.

I actually started planing out a very different way the story would progress when season 2 just ended, which I already scraped because it just wouldn't fit anymore. It was supposed to be a very heartwrenching betrayal, especially on Belos' part, because in this version, in an attempt to purge Selena of the "inherent evil of magic", he forced a specialized sigil on her that locked away all her magic. Then the finale happened, Selena was dragged to the human realm (she was there along with him because he had every intention of taking her with him now that she was "cured"), and she was forced to adapt to a life without magic, and without Belos.

I can share snippets of this, since this storyline is now completely scrapped (also Philip regained his human form here, we didn't know yet that he was stuck in goop form haha)

The only saving grace I did give him in this version is that he was afraid the sigil would fail and hurt her, and his failsafe was the guhya skin. So his redemption did come in the form of him letting her know this later on and removing it, letting her magic come back.

Ah...I don't know what much more I could share. If some specific little things interest you, I could focus on that if I can, but like my mind is too scattered haha.

I'll leave you with this little doodle I did a looong while back ;)

[mephinomaly]

[TL] BIOHAZARD/Chapter 2

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Koga: Stop givin’ out lectures like we’re newborns or somethin’~.

I get it, I know all that! That’s why I hate it and I hate even more that there’s nothing I can do. All that happens is I keep goin’ on those stupid shows with a stupid smile on my face!

Rei: Hm. As a result of that, we’ve become a unit that completes activities terribly half-heartedly.

We were unable to specialise in hardrock nor being playboys therefore other units were able to monopolise that gap in the market.

Well, the world is in recession. If you are struggling financially and want to go out to eat, it’s better to go to a restaurant that specialises in what you want to eat rather than a family restaurant that serves a variety of dishes.

Our fans have made themselves clear via numbers. It’s only human nature to want to eat something more delicious if the price is the same.

Therefore in our current state, we are struggling in comparison to units that have specialised in something. The difference between effort and experience is being laid bare for all to see.

Koga: Yeah. It’s like that story where the bat keeps messin’ around who’s side they’re on and then both the beasts and the birds don’t wanna be friends with him.[1]

Rei: Quite. Whilst the foundations are still stable, it will only be so long before it begins to shake.

One day, we will be alone and have nowhere to go. We will end up standing in solitude in a trap of our own design.

We’ll be at rock bottom, we’ll be idols that don’t sell anymore.

Koga: Then, then what do we do? If we understand what's happenin’, we can actually do somethin’ ‘bout it, right?

But we can’t just give up ‘n pretend everythin’s fine.

Rei: Indeed. We must fight against this, we cannot lay in wake, waiting to be destroyed.

Kaoru: Yep, we need to do something, definitely.

Rei: Mhm. Of course, Rhythm Link is getting antsy and, as always, is trying to interfere.

Koga: Those guys are so fuckin’ conceited… That’s what I hate ‘bout them.

They’ll always treat us like we’re newbies that can’t do anythin’.

Rei: Though in the past, they would have left newcomers like us to our own devices.

A while ago, at the idol industry’s biggest festival, SS, all of the veteran units that RhythmLink boasts about failed to produce any meaningful results.

As a result of that, the value of youngins like us has increased. As well as that, we are RhythmLink’s main breadwinners so if we were to crash in popularity, it would create a massive problem for management.

Consequently, in order to break this deadlock, they have requested we participate in a “certain experiment” that ES seems to be planning.

Adonis: Experiment…? That’s a rather disconcerting word.

Koga: Haa? What kinda experiment do they want us as guinea pigs for then?

Rei: The project is top secret, so we will be kept in the dark until we accept—

The name of the experiment is “Artificial Intelligence Idol Experiment”, abbreviated to AIIE.

Koga: Huh? Artificial intelligence…?

Kaoru: Seems to be a pretty popular topic nowadays. AI, I mean.

Adonis: Ah, artificial intelligence is something that can create images and pieces of text with skill.

I am still not good at writing in Japanese, and when I was struggling with it, Yuuki, who is very well informed on the topic, introduced it to me.

The AI was really good at drawing pictures, so when I patted and praised my phone, Yuuki looked shocked.

Koga: Oh yeah speakin’a which, I like that four-eyed bean sprout. Haa, what a nerd.

Adonis: In Yuuki’s case, he’s really good at what he does. You can’t ridicule him for that.

To be honest, using AI was very convenient. My previously clunky sentences had been transformed into beautiful Japanese prose.

It was so convenient that I almost felt as if I had lost any motivation to learn to write or draw myself.

Rather than struggle with Japanese, wouldn’t it be better if I allowed AI to do it all for me?

Kaoru: I’ve heard that AI scours the internet and uses images without the artists’ permissions, leading to issues to do with copyright and stuff. I don’t think it’s a good idea to rely too much on AI, you know~?

If everyone else is doing it, you shouldn’t feel guilty, but it’s still a crime at the end of the day, right?

Adonis: I understand. Even a kitchen knife can be used to kill someone. I suppose it depends on the moral values the user has and how they intend to use it.

Rei: Hm. Since the exact details are unclear, I cannot say this for sure, but is AIIE about AI versions of idols that can… draw well?

I am an old man, I do not really understand newfangled technologies such as that.

Koga: You’re still pullin’ the grandpa card… Anyway, pisses me off if RhythmLink is tryna order us around but guess there’s nothin’ we can do ‘bout it.

Do we seriously hafta take part in an experiment called AIIE?

Rei: If we try our best and it doesn’t work out, we can pull out. This is just a trial.

Since we cannot come up with anything else to escape this situation, I suppose there is no issue with taking advantage of this.

[ ☆ ]

koga references one of Aesop's fables “the bats, the birds, and the beasts”. Basically the birds and the beasts declare war against each other. When the birds ask the bats who’s side they’re on, the bats say “i have wings, so i am on your side.” but when the beasts ask too, the bats say “i have sharp teeth and fur, so i am on your side.” later, once peace had been negotiated, the beasts and the birds realised how deceitful the bats had been and turned on them. Now bats live in fear, and only come out at night

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

[bonefall]

A lot of the family changes are amazing. I mean to me Red and Spotted have always been Rose’s kits it’s just so perfect. Since in this rewrite Dove and I’m guessing Ivy are Lion kits maybe BirchWhite could instead have Icekit and Foxkit. These are originally FernDust kits but Ice being a little clone of her grandpa is adorable to me, and Fox would get his red as the undercoat from his momma Whitewing.

I don’t know if you’ve gotten as far as TNP but if you have what are some changes your thinking of? It’s such a interesting arc that fell so hard when it could’ve been one of the best. Lastly will DoveTiger still be canon?

Ivy and Dove are Lion/Cinder kittens yep!

Oh shit your brain. That's a really cool idea and completely plausible. It wouldn't change a lot either since Ice and Fox don't even HAVE kits of their own...

Fox would just have a lot of his grandmom's ginger with a white belly, and Ice would look exactly like Whitewing and her dad. I will consider it. I can't make any promises since I do try not to change too much, but that's a really cute thought

The New Prophecy

I have a LOT of thoughts but haven't written anything down yet. For TPB, I have a very clear uniting theme in mind. It is about the authoritarian sickness within Clan culture going terminal and sparking a reckoning, "Fire Alone."

For TNP, I know that it's about the residual effects of that. Many of Tigerclaw's supporters are still around, and a LOT of them are in RiverClan, but I still don't have A Phrase for it (which is my extremely arbitrary method for knowing when I'm CONFIDENT about my message).

Hawkfrost is not only being groomed by Tigerstar in his dreams, Blackclaw plays a role, and so does Leopardstar. On some level, ALL of RiverClan has enabled him, or failed to protect him. Just like they failed to protect Feathertail and the other half-clan cats.

I'm also changing Brambleclaw significantly. The Erins want it both ways; they wanted him to train with his dad in the Dark Forest, but also didn't want to say he might actually not be a "fundamentally" good person.

So, instead, they write him the WORST possible way; borderline oblivious to reality in spite of every woman in his life telling him, DIRECTLY, "Brambleclaw you are doing something stupid," lashing out defensively every time someone suggests he isn't entitled to doing whatever the fuck he wants, and ultimately being REWARDED for this behavior by being able to "prove" his loyalty to Firestar by... uhhh... NOT killing his leader.

So, I am approaching all four Tiger siblings with a very clear idea of each one's role:

Tawnypelt has utterly rejected Tiger and his ideals, but is still finding punishment for her childhood choices (yet, she is the one leading the Sundrown Patrol; StarClan shines on her).

Brambleclaw is falling down the rabbithole and pulls himself out by realizing what he's becoming. Firestar makes him step down as deputy after the fox trap incident.

Hawkfrost is the too-far-gone, the one you can no longer save because he thinks if you're against him, you need to be eradicated

And, lastly, Mothwing is his pawn and victim, and Hawkfrost accidentally impales himself as she pulls out the fox trap.

So, Tigersiblings aside, there are other solid plans as well,

The Lake is getting a reworked map with borders than CAN shift.

The Tribe is obviously going to be different. The Clans may end up spending more time with them before heading to the Lake.

The Clans take time to gather supplies before moving on. Hawkfrost spends time with Brambleclaw at this point, the Tribe's culture is better explored. Filler for worldbuilding and character reasons.

Runningnose, Tangleburr, Blackclaw are getting more screentime (more than zero lmao)

Blackstar and Leopardstar are spicier. The softening retcons are being WRENCHED out.

Hawkfrost is probably going to fake more signs, leveraging Mothwing to deceive Leafpool into having that Bramble Claws prophecy.

There's more but this ask is already beefy and I need to just compile all the TNP stuff somewhere

TigerDove?

TigerDove IS staying canon with major fixes. Tigerheart is her age. He's Tawnypelt and Rowanclaw's newest from a single-kit litter. Flametail and Dawnpelt are his older siblings.

But with that said, there are going to be major changes to PO3. As much as I'm trying to change as little as possible, PO3 and OOTS are the messiest arcs EVER produced by Warriors and imo there's no way to salvage it without major changes.

I'm DEAD set on Lionblaze being the father of Dovewing and Hollytuft (replacing Larksong functionally); so there has to be BIG changes to his relationship with Brambleclaw or else I'm making two unacceptable exceptions for my reworked family tree. (Dove and Tiger being 1st cousins by adoption, not just fostering, and Sparkpelt being Larksong/Hollytuft's aunt by adoption, not just fostering)

(On that note ive been really careful to this point to make sure all previous 'adoptions' have been fosterings and wet nursings for this reason, but it was going to come up eventually. I am trying to count full adoptions as true siblings on the tree. As you can see, this is extremely difficult. Clans are so fucking ssMALL!!)

So... Option 1 is for Bramble to disown the three at that gathering, and Lion/Bramble never see each other as son/father ever again. Lion identifies as Squirrelflight's son with no sire OR as the forbidden son of Leafpool, Dove, Ivy, and Holly/Lark never see themselves as Tigerkin.

Option 2 is that Squirrelflight simply refuses to involve Brambleclaw in her plan with her sister. She tells him, instead, that she cheated on him and the kits are not his. When pressed on who, she invokes the Queen's Rights to not reveal. She raises the kits alone.

Neither option is completely perfect, but I have to make some sort of sacrifice here. Option 2 is less problematic for the family tree. Option 1 is closer to canon and preserves a favorite part of the PO3/OOTS angst.

[michpat6]

I was tagged by @wanderingnightingale to reflect on seven creative things I’ve done in 2022, so here they are under the cut because is it really me if im not rambling 😂. thank you for the tag! anyone who sees this and wants to give it a go themselves, have at it!

1. as the sun sets on this world

my botw zelda and wolf link fic! this was an idea that came to me after I wanted to somehow incorporate wolf link's presence in botw into a story, but couldn't find a way to make it seem natural in a larger plot, so I kept it contained to this one-shot where he shows up and helps zelda take the master sword to korok forest after botw link's death.

it's not a super popular fic due to the strangeness of the idea, but I really like the character dynamics in the fic, especially the one between a damaged, unnamed fi who's trying to soothe a freshly-traumatized zelda. something something zelda finally getting a chance to talk to the very thing that "taunted" her her entire life, something something fi coming to terms with the fact that she's once again "failed" a Hero. i also loved writing the spooky nightmares that zelda has.

2. lightning in a bottle (flashing before my eyes)

my urbosa/zelda's mom fic is one that is very close to my heart. urbosa is one of my favorite zelda characters, and I love being able to make up a backstory for her that's worthy of the amazing character that she is (kind of. botw's characters besides zelink are all very flat but it's FINE it's why im WRITING THIS FIC. she's an amazing character in my head).

I just...she's so cool??? she's so confident and badass??? where does that come from how did she become that person??? why can she wield lightning??? I wanted to answer all of those questions that I had about her that wasn't just the most obvious answers of, "she balances out/soothes zelda's anxieties and gives us backstory on those anxieties. her lightning is a really sick game mechanic so she just has it to give it to link after she dies". also why would the game mention her deep connection to zelda's mom if they WEREN'T in love? of COURSE I have to write their love story and what it meant for urbosa to love a woman who was gone too soon, and whose daughter is in desperate need of guidance that only she can provide by emulating her mother and saying what her mother would say. urbosa's confidence is genuine, a product of her life up to the point that we see her, but it's also a way for her to give Zelda her mother for even just a moment.

in going in-depth on urbosa, I also get to go in-depth on zelda's mom, and I love zelda's mom. I've actually stolen her personality and such from a character from one of my original fiction ideas, so it wasn't exactly hard to come up with who she is, but honestly the hardest part of creating zelda's mom was picking her name. I was originally going to call her Rose so her name would be "Zelda Rose Hyrule", as it sounds nice as just "Zelda Rose", but I ended up going with Faye ("Zelda Faye"/"Zelda Faye Hyrule") because as I was implanting the personality of one of my characters onto her, Rose just didn't fit anymore. I felt it was too "gentle" of a name for this woman who is anything but that. no offense to anyone named Rose. I also love weaving in these little similarities between the queen of hyrule and botw zelda, because even though they're two completely different young women they're undeniably similar in a way that only mothers and daughters can be.

this fic only has two chapters out of ten posted. I am Trying. chapter three will happen eventually.

3. the goddess's chosen guardian

my short little impa fic! I love her so much!

this fic is just me going crazy over impa. I was literally in the car driving home from work one day, got stuck in traffic, and then "wrote" this whole thing about impa and sheikah culture and whatnot in my head and then I got home, opened up my laptop, and wrote for four hours until the whole thing was out of my brain. then I posted it on ao3 like two minutes later.

I don't even know, I just wanted to go in-depth about how cool impa is, because the idea of her as a whole, someone who isn't mentioned in any of hyrule's prophecies but is central to protecting the Goddess's bloodline??? you're telling me impa is "just a side character"??? she's the reason for all of the legends of zelda even coming to pass, as she protects the existence of a girl with hylia's blood (and the longevity of hyrule's royal family), which snowballs into the reason why ganon wants to destroy the world and then why link gets called upon to stop him. she's arguably even the reason ganon gets defeated if you go back far enough in the butterfly effect, because if zelda dies what the hell is link supposed to do once he kicks ganon's ass? he has no idea how to seal evil in another realm, the only magic he knows comes from items he finds in dungeons and spinning his sword really fast. zelda is the triforce of wisdom, and without impa most of the time the triforce of wisdom is lost.

she's just so freaking awesome. how could I not write something about how she becomes who she is?

4. with every drop of rain singin'

mitski should be put in prison for writing pink in the night does she even know what she's done to me????

this was my fic for zelink week back in july, and it was supposed to be a one-shot. like...5k MAX. then it became 30k broke out into three chapters. I don't know where my energy for long one-shots like my fi fic went, but I just have to break stuff up now and therefore I am cursed to forever say "oh this is a one-shot" and then have like three additional chapters because I can't stop adding stuff. this is what it means to be a writer.

this fic is weird, because it's so different from my usual writing in that it's strangely profound. I don't even know what happened one second I was writing about zelda having amnesia after sealing the calamity and the next second I had link philosophizing about love and what it meant for him to barely remember someone who couldn't remember themselves. he wanted answers, that's why he became the Hero, but instead he's the one having to give them even though he doesn't know anything for sure. it's a fun reversal! I also got to play with stream of consciousness for the first time in years, which is why there are gigantic paragraphs and run-on sentences as link rambles to himself trying to figure out what's going on and his feelings surrounding this zelda who is nothing like the one he vaguely remembers.

5. a thing that doesn't change with time

this fic is a testament to how deeply I will commit to the bit, because it's not even a bit anymore. this is serious. I've convinced myself that this npc merchant is secretly god and hiding the secrets of the universe in his beetle-shaped backpack. he helped build skyloft. he knew skyward sword impa. he's never tired when you go up to him in skyward sword or botw he's LYING to all of us for his own personal amusement because he's been alive for millions of years and got bored one day. I know him on a deeper level than anyone else in this fandom (this is a joke, unless it's not, look at what I just said), I know this to be true. my uncle works at nintendo.

all jokes aside though, this fic is a MONSTER just like the previous one. almost 30k and I still have the last chapter to write. it's an exercise in world building and character crafting on a level that I haven't operated/written on in six years, and when I finish this fic (and if I think hard enough to take away all of the "zelda"-isms) I can probably turn it into a whole original story and have a solid 30-40k little novel on my hands about a man who unwillingly becomes a god and fights tooth and nail to retain his mortality. I genuinely love this idea and I literally cannot look at beedle without going, "I know what you are".

6. overdue

I've written some other smut on my account, but this is the fic that my practice ones had been building to, and I think I was better for it. it was fun to write, albeit difficult because I could barely keep a straight face when I was reading it back to myself, trying to make it the best that it could be, and honestly my favorite part of it is the comedic ending when botw zelink is finally done boinking in the library's secret room and they get called out by impa.

7. ignorance is bliss

this is the only non-zelda fic on the list, being for the chainsaw man fandom and a lesbian rarepair. even though this year I've also written an attack on titan and a batman fic, this is the one that I like the most out of the three fandoms that I've ventured out into writing for.

to really go in-depth would be to spoil the new anime, as it spoils something major, but I like the dynamic I've made between the two characters the fic is about, how they speak to each other and how they "love" each other, as both of them have no idea what it is to love. there's also another heaping of smut in here, but it's not "sexy" smut, so it was a first try at writing intimacy in a way that wasn't really intimate at all, which I think I was wayyyyyyy better at. apparently I can't write anything properly if it's not angsty dkfjhsdjkghksdg

[worldweaverofmediocrity]

Cheat and Steal to Lie and Survive

...whoops, maybe i should get back to being a writeblr.

Summary: Lying is wrong. Lying for thousands, if not tens of thousands of years is wrong. Lying about the very planet’s main enemy being immortal to your secret shadow government is wrong. Lying about the literal Divine Summoning Superweapon split into four is wrong. Lying about the four women with vast elemental powers who double as living keys and security checks to said Doomsday Device. Lying about the current Humanity being its second attempt is wrong. ...Unless said lies bring about one (confirmed) century of Peace and Progress. Unless said lies transforms a Kingdom built on mining and emotional slavery into a technological powerhouse capable of producing Artifical Life that is recognized as a ‘woman’ by the Magic that governs the Living Key Maidens. But that is a wrong well trampled, but this is a story about two wrongs making a right. Or what if Spinel, Wonder Woman, and Princess Celestia/Doomguy, 2B, and the Avatar Cycle joined the Wizard of Remnant in his eternal quest.

AN: The Chosen get full context of the Wizard’s Life and Task. to prevent any of the “Oh but they didn’t understand what they were signing up for” like Ozma did when the Lightbro started the reincarnation chain. It's what Ozpin attempted to do for Pyrrha before Cinder fucked everything up. So why wouldn’t his magic do the same for these folks? Also everyone has gotten their universe’s Perfect End. so no lingering threads to tie them down to their reality. I don’t know what End Game equipment the Chosen have so i’m just going to give them a random grab bag of stuff. Aka i’m watching a LP of Nier Automata and IDK if Doom Eternal is out when i’m writing. But yes Doom Slayer is from after Doom Eternal, plz whack if I get their loadouts all wrong.

Also Magic Using Androids from another Setting and then Vol 7 finale when Penny gets the Winter Maiden? Hell yes I am crossing them over. ...Nier: Automata Androids can use magic right? The Pod Programs and the Skill OS Chips. Shockwave? Autoheal? Those are the magic thingamabobs right? Unless I'm completely mistaking Nier for another setting where Androids are fighting robots after humanity goes extinct and both sides (or at least the androids) can use magic.

Edit: also I spent so long trying to write this chapter that Doom Eternal Released. WHELP. Wish I could say the quality is worth the wait. Still have many sections of this to write. :( edit 2: yeah no i’ve decided i’m not doing eight different perspectives in one chapter, so i’ma delete those sections i haven’t written for. Sorry *insert fandoms here* for not portraying why said characters joined Ozma.

Chapter 1: Let’s Bend the Rules Shall We?

“You Can’t.” With those soul crushing words Jinn The Spirit of Knowledge vanished in a puff of blue smoke. 

The man another reality knows as The Inquisitor wept with his head bowed. Both the man with a body and the small group of people nestled in his soul failed to notice the Green Magic of Time and Space lashing around them. 

“All of our work for the past millennia has been for nought!” Ozma 2.0 The False God banged his fist against a mental desk.

“Come now, with our help humanity and the faunus have civilizations that have lasted more than a decade at most.” Pleaded the Inventor of The Long Memory.

“That is until one of Salem’s worshippers destroys all of our progress or gains one of the Maidens.” The Inquisitor shot back.

“OKAY! So I should have made sure that the Maidens would pass onto optimistic folk if not return to us upon those darlins death.” Snarked Hermit of the Maidens.

As the men and women who collectively answer to Ozma descented into fercious bickering, their magic dissolved any idiotic Grimm who dared attack them in their moment of weakness. The magic shredded the environment around them into sand, forming what will be known Millennia in the future as the harshest (and origin) spot of the Vacuo Desert. But the environment wasn’t the only thing that was shredded by their magic, large gashes in the fabric of reality revealed alien skylines and starscapes. Not even itself was safe from the magic, the Wizard’s hold on Space Magics strained under the weight of bridging universes and could only bring three people and their equipment to his reality before dissipating. Only to be regained in a much weaker form in the lifetime known as The Last King of Vale.

The magic seeped through the gashes in the form of green mist reaching out to anyone who would help. 

The Path of Wisdom.

Of the various oddities and reality warping events Diana Prince saw in her long life as Wonder Woman, One of the Founders of the Justice Society of America during the World Wars and again a founder of the Justice League circa 1995, a green mist that felt of another reality spilling out of a gash in her living room was certainly in her top 500 weirdest things. Then it started playing a Hero’s lifetime beginning when the man rescued a princess from a tower through a woman in the depths of her inherited depression casting a scrying spell into the past to see the events the Immortal wasn’t there to witness and ended when a Genie gave a depressing answer.

Diana breathed in deeply before exhaling and rubbing her nose. Diana got up when the message repeated itself and got out her Amazon Armor while waiting for her call to go through to the Watchtower.

“Batman here.” said the voice.

“Hey Bruce, could you get the Interdimensional Voyage forms? A portal opened in my living room and I'm going to hop through it.” Diana pulled on her torso armor as Batman sighed and clicked some keys.

“Estimated time in our reality vs theirs?”

“Unknown and Until I achieve World Peace when there’s a Literal Immortal Queen hellbent on destroying everything with a massive army of creatures that control 98% of the landmass who are attracted to negative emotions.” Diana shuffled on her greaves.

“Okay then, it's one of those Voyages. Tech Level? Magic Level and percentage of magic users?”

“Tech Level is-” Diana squinted at the portal. “Pre-Gunpowder. Magic Level is Street-City block level. Percentage is all of them and Six Individuals”

Diana could feel Batman’s glower of disapproval from the phone. “Tsk. Any Background info?”

“There once was a man named Ozma, he was a humble Hero going from fight to disaster saving the day. Until he rescued a woman named Salem from a tower and fell in love. But where the blades and beasts of the world failed, a single sickness prevailed. Then Salem went insane with grief and bargained with the Brother gods, tricking them causing infighting between the two Brothers. So they cursed her with immortality until she got some therapy. But Salem was now angry at the Gods and so united the world against them, so the younger Brother exterminated humanity and shattered the moon as he left. Taking humanity’s magic with him.

Then the older brother proposed Ozma with achieving World Peace while the younger God’s attack creatures ran rampant. Warning Ozma to not seek Salem because she’s evil now. So of course being Lovestruck the first thing Ozma did after Reincarnating was seeking Salem out. Upon finding her, Ozma fell in love once more and made the first nation larger than a mere city state in Humanity's history. Salem convinced him to take care of domestic affairs while she dealt with the external ones.

Over the years their family expanded with four daughters, whom the seasons are named after. Then Ozma found out that his wife was a genocidal tyrant and tried to flee with his daughters, only for Salem to catch them and cause a fight during which said daughters died. Then Salem reformed from ash in the ruins of their castle, kicked Ozma onto his back, stood on one of his wounds and ranted about freedom from the gods before interrupting Ozma when he tried to defend himself by burning him to death.

An thus started a long and painful cycle of death and rebirth for Ozma. After his second death, Ozma fell into a deep depression that lasted for a millenia.  

------Back on Remnant/Group Focus.

Wonder Woman flew out of the portal and landed near the Immortal. She gently walked up behind the collapsed man and hugged him, ignoring his sudden flinch and pulled him so that Ozma leaned against her. Hooves clopping echoed across the clearing as Princess Celestia walked out of her portal. Celestia had saddlebags on her back that would have been straining the seams if not for their space expansion enchantments.

The squeak of rubber stretching reached everyone’s ears as Spinel propelled herself into the clearing.

The Path of Murder Blending.

The Last Demon fell before the man known only as the Doom Slayer. There were no more areas of Hell to suddenly open like a Video Game Sequel coming out. No alien invasions. No idiots trying to tap hell as a power source. No more demons/whatever the fuck preaching about ‘ignorant humans not being able to understand traditions’ None of that stupidity, there was merely a man fueled by anger finally calming down from tearing Hell several new holes per day. The Doom Slayer sat down against a wall and finally wept for all those he had lost.

Then a handful of hours later when Doom pulled himself up out of his pity party. An emerald gash appeared unleashing a green mist lighting up with a story as old as time. Quiet literally considering humanity went extinct and was then reborn. But the ancient spark of wrath that propelled him for over thousands of eons was reignited when Doom spotted the Grimm. Sure these demons weren’t red and couldn’t bribe people into selling their souls, but they dissolved on death and sought out negative emotions. Those were demons if Doom had ever seen one, and he had an Eternal Crusade against all demons. No Matter the Form, No Matter the Era, and No Matter the Dimension.

The fact that there was an Eternally Reincarnating Wizard tasked with achieving World Peace, was a mere bonus. 

-----Back on Remnant/Group Focus

The Doom Slayer stepped out of the swirling magic and onto the crunchy sand surrounding the despairing Reincarnator. Doom’s head was on a swivel as he approached the immortal. Before noticing another patch of magic deepens it’s green coloration. Doom leveled his shotgun at the forming portal as 2B and her Pods jogged out of the magic. 

2B was thankful for the green magical wall around her VIP, making it much easier to secure a perimeter when there was an actual perimeter. Then she saw the large man in green armor (what is with this universe and green anyways?) that had a shoulder cannon and a chainsaw-bayonet hybrid under one arm. Who was currently pointing a shotgun at her face.

“Judging by your armament your one of the ‘Chosen’ from another reality?” 2B asked.

The green armored man nodded lowering his shotgun into an at rest pose.

==========

Doom breathed in when the last Grimm was killed, focusing his mental energies at shackling his unending wrath. Containing the rage behind a wall of unyielding will so that the grimm wouldn’t constantly swarm the Slayer and his newfound allies.

[bereft-of-frogs]

more complete doctor strange thoughts with detailed spoilers under the cut (not going to call it a review because it’s just going to be bullet points):

- god there was so much exposition. so much. exposition where characters would narrate what had just happened on screen or what was happening on screen. so much unnecessary exposition.

- it over-relied on characters doing stupid things or stopping and watching things happen for no reason to build tension or move the plot forward. like in the opening scene when America just stops and watches Strange battle the demon creature instead of....doing anything else. Or when they close the blast door when they’re in the tunnels and instead of continuing to run they just stand there and wait for her to pop out. and even the end, it seems like it took Wanda extra time to steal America’s powers because we needed Strange to figure out how to dreamwalk into the corpse (which was cool but...felt stupid at the time because I kept being like....well now why is Wanda taking forever to do this?)

- Strange’s character arc was...confused. the whole ‘are you happy’ thing was underdeveloped. I wasn’t ever sure why he was unhappy except for not getting with Christine? Like, they could have gone more into depth with his loneliness or feelings of guilty or inadequacy, or depression even though he’s ‘won’ but aside from a couple lines here and there, it’s not explored enough to be coherent

- everyone is like ‘the horror elements!’ but they honestly felt tacked onto a standard Marvel plot, which is essentially the problem with all MCU films, that they’re fairly standardized movies that directors can bring some flair to and some directors integrate their style better than others. The Sam Raimi shots felt very much like ‘HEY look Sam Raimi directed this. see?’ instead of the film taking on his style fully. Which like, honestly, I’m not the biggest Sam Raimi fan so I liked the parts that were shot more like the standard MCU fare.

- I guess Mordo is just...never going to come up again? which if I ever get my ability to write MCU fic back again is good for me because I had a whole long followup fic dealing with that hinted arc at the end of Doctor Strange 1 but here he was just reduced to ‘he tried to kill me sometimes’ and that was it. their fight was kind of cool though.

- the multiverse. that we’ve now introduced like FOUR TIMES and each time has NEVER REFERENCED ANY OF THE OTHERS. some people are already dismissing critiques as ‘you’re just mad there weren’t like 100 cameos’ which no. I am mad that they never reference the other times the multiverse came up. which makes sense for Strange not remembering Spiderman but it doesn’t make sense to break the multiverse like 7 different times and never reference it again. like, this is failing in what the first few phases of the MCU did really well, which was build individual films into a single narrative through recurring characters and the post-credit scenes. this is just building more new characters and worlds without connecting the existing ones. I don’t give a shit about who Charlize Theron is supposed to be. I was kind of expecting someone from Loki to show up to perhaps hint that they’re part of the reason the multiverse is falling apart. Like. it all has to connect right? why would you do the multiverse like a thousand times and not have it connect? so why wouldn’t you start working on weaving them together? I am frustrated.

ok. now for the elephant in the room.

let’s talk about Wanda.

- inb4 ‘but she was crazy and mad in Wandavision’ I don’t think the people who are saying that watched the same show that I did? Because her character was so complicated and at the end of the series she accepted that what she’d done was wrong and what she needed to sacrifice to make things right. And I get the Darkhold corrupts but I feel like we needed soooo much more character development between the end of Wandavision and here to justify why she was just an uncomplicated evil villain who’s gone crazy over not having her kids (yeesh...)

- ok she was kind of great though. Like Elizabeth Olsen really saved it because she was just so fun as evil!Wanda. I really started unironically rooting for her like halfway through. queen.

- it also felt like a lot of cool magic worldbuilding to be reduced to like ‘there’s a good book and a bad book. don’t use bad book. bad book bad.’. I’m just sort of disappointed that was the conclusion to the Darkhold storyline, though one of the sequences I did like was her and Wong going to find the original tomb with the spells inscribed on the walls. that was pretty neat.

- over the redemption through death trope, though this is marvel so I guess we can hope she’ll be resurrected. my brother pointed out the white!Vision is still out there so hopefully she becomes part of his story. otherwise it’s lazy, it’s tired, it wasn’t necessary, and I’m gonna be mad about it

The Stuff I Liked:

- the combo of the score and visuals in the scene where they were explaining dreamwalking was great. probably one of the most interesting and creative shots in the film

- honestly, despite being angry about how her character was treated, Wanda really was the best part. Strange had his moments and Benedict Cumberbatch I think did his best but it was just such a mess I don’t think he had much to work with.

- I liked the possessing the corpse stuff. that was neat.

- and I did like that they really pushed at the limits of the PG-13 rating, I just wish it was in a more cohesive way, where the overall tone matched the gory moments.

as I said last night....I think I need a break from the MCU. I’m going to finish out things already in progress, Love and Thunder and Guardians of the Galaxy mostly, and then I’m going to wait and see if it ever becomes worth it. I can let it go for a bit I think. I’m getting sort of frustrated with the way critique is met. I’ve been seeing people come back with like ‘let people enjoy things!’/’just turn your brain off and enjoy it, it’s not that deep’ and like. Yeah if you enjoyed it great, but I’m also allowed to be disappointed and have some pretty valid critiques of the film. And I used to be able to turn my brain off. But this latest phase has ranged from enjoyable to watch but ultimately forgettable, to boring, to...this.

Except for Wandavision. Which I loved. So perhaps this movie was just not made for me.