#like I'm afraid to get it wrong or something

[poofmagictrick]

Thoughts on TADC episode 5

ITS FINALLY HERE. This episode was genuinely soooo worth the wait!! Before the episode drop, I've been theorizing and commenting on what this episode will lead to. So glad to see that goose's writing exceeded my expectations, she did a great job developing mainly jax and ragatha this episode. On that note, THEIR DYNAMIC IS STARTING TO REVEAL ITSELF AND I WAS SO HAPPY WATCHING IT UNFOLD AND DEVELOP THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE AAA

In the episode, Jax seems to warm up to Pomni throughout the whole episode which a lot of people including myself were spot on about that. Jax starts to chill around Pomni and make jokes, not being the usual mean jerk everyone thinks of him as.

Although that adventure was shorter compared to the other adventures cramped together, it stands out so much in terms of character moments for Jax and Ragatha. When Ragatha whispers "not anymore," and the way jax looks at her like she had the audacity to talk.

I theorise that next episode they'll possibly explain what happened to Jax's friend. Not sure if during the intermission time, the door Jax stops at of an ex circus member was possibly his close friends but I can't wait until we get told more about that!!

Anyways, another scene that stood out to me was the bar scene (fooled us all into thinking it was a mafia adventure lol). Where Jax ACTUALLY apologises to Pomni of all members for what he did today. Pomni is taken aback by this similarly to episode 4, the Spudsy's adventure, where it was the 1st time we see them talk 1on1. (Can I just mention I'm so glad we get to see more of Zooble too tho?!? They're able to do something that they once enjoyed in their past life too!). Now the highlight and I'm sure everyone and their mother will be talking about this is the massive lore drop of each of the circus members past lives before being transported to the circus! Except for Kinger and Gangle who we've known have mentioned briefly about what they've done. But I mainly wanna focus on Ragatha's past life and how it ties into her general behavior.

Ok bear with me here cuz I'm gonna ramble endlessly about it lol. So Ragatha mentions having grown up in a financially stable family who owned livestock (which could be a huge farm that's well known which may be why they're fairly well-off). The moment she started to talk about her mother who verbally abused her and guilt tripped her back then, her body starts to tense up. God knows what kind of abuse besides verbal did her mother do to her as it's shown she clearly didn't enjoy remembering it all and even the other circus members including who jax looked really concerned for her.

I related to her so much in this scene because of this, when you grow up with a parent who guilt tripped, verbally abused you, one of the many ways you would cope is to vow to never be like that and be nothing like what your parents were before. So you try to be the opposite of them. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to be diff and prevent yourself from becoming just like your parents, but being nice may not always make you genuine to other people. It's just like what Jax and Gangle have mentioned about Ragatha that she tries too hard to hard and when you tell people they're loved and what not it loses its meaning. When you keep saying these things to people its hard to tell if they're being genuine.

They're probably the only ones to have been the most aware of this coping mechanism that Ragatha uses as a way to cope with the trauma of her verbally abusive mother. Ragatha doesn't know how to connect with the other circus members, so to do that she tries to be nice by helping them, encouraging and many other things. It's kinda like she's almost giving them so much of her love she's afraid they'll stop talking to her the moment she stops being all nice and loving to them. In fact, later in the softball adventure when Ragatha gets to sit together with pomni and have the 3rd (?) heart to heart talk scene in thsi entire episode, Pomni tells her "It's ok to let out your negative emotions sometimes and we all kinda have to be a jerk sometimes."

But Ragatha doesn't want to be like that because it likely just makes her be reminded of her mother back in her past life.

People like Ragatha who tend to be nice to everyone ends up being extremely lonely despite that. But it's kinda sad because ultimately she just wants someone to be close with and connect with someone. She tried with Gangle, possibly Zooble, Jax even though she hates him, Kinger and now Pomni. One could probably say Pomni is aware that Ragatha is tryna warm up to her and get her to be her friend but the way Ragatha and Pomni interact is pretty distant. While Jax the whole epsiode laughs with Pomni and even opens up with her.

I'm gonna credit @zoshizick for this point they made where they theorise Jax and Ragatha will be fighting for Pomni like a toy they want so badly. Not in a romantic sense, but both R&J are incredibly lonely people and just want someone to talk to. That's when the new girl (Pomni) comes into the picture and they both are so desperate to win her attention. For instance in the bar scene when Jax grabs Pomni and says obnoxiously "WOW, the first steps of a budding friendship. Right Ragatha." As if to purposefully annoy her and of course she looks at him like she's about to explode.

I wanna add on and say that Jax and Ragatha know that they hate each other but don't want to admit that they are both two sides of the same coin. It makes their character all the more deeper and complex cuz really who would they both fight for to be their friend? Zooble? She's distant with everybody except for Gangle but they're both already friends so nope. Gangle? She gets bullied by Jax and doesn't like him and she's kinda friends with Ragatha? but she's with her likely because rags defends Gangle from Jax. Kinger? Jax isn't that close with Kinger and just thinks of him as weird and Ragatha is fine with him but wouldn't seem like someone she would open up to like Kinger doesn't remember what they were even talking about 1 second ago unless in darkness. That leaves Pomni, the neutral person in the whole circus who hasn't made any connections yet. I think the next episode will raise the stakes with R&J's cold war of winning Pomni's friendship. While Ragatha does hates Jax, I don't think Jax really hates Ragatha all that much just probs want her to be herself more. Possibly even wanting to get to know her cuz they're not as lonely as they realise they are, just that they refuse to talk it out is all.

I think that's all I gotta say and amazing work from the team, animators and other people who worked on the episode!! I hope ya'll can understand by endless rambling about all of this as I was super hyped about the episode and the day it dropped although a day late to the party haha. Gosh my hands are in pain from typing this long.

[khys-treasure-box]

AN: Needed this one out of my system for a while to be honest. I love Kaeya to bits and so I really needed to yap about him anyways, but I've needed this off my chest because of the literal years worth of watching certain parts of the fanbase misinterpret him to absolute death. I see far too much that boils him down to being toxic and a manwhore or otherwise flattens him down to being flirtatious and fails to acknowledge the flaws he would actually have. Getting this out makes me feel like maybe I'm clearing the air a bit. :')

By no means does that mean this post is meant to be an insult to anyone or how they write him though! Just my own addition to the pile of who knows how many stories and thoughts about him that are out there! <3

CW: I fear I don't know how to put it in any way other than Kaeya-typical angst. In this case, specifically how said angst affects his love life. (I swear guys, I will write something happier about him later. This is just what came to me first. ;-;) Reader is only ever referred to as you, so therefore they're gender neutral!

Let's just go ahead and rip the band-aid off; loving Kaeya isn't always easy.

it isn't because he's a bad lover though. For the most part, he's absolutely lovely, actually. Attentive, charming, endlessly affectionate; the list goes on. There's not so much as a single doubt that he's absolutely smitten with you and would move mountains to make you happy if he could. It's rather likely that quite a handful of people are jealous of your relationship. He is yours, and you are his. Neither of you could imagine life without each other at this point.

But that unfortunately doesn't mean that being with him comes without problems.

For as much as he loves you, it's hard not to notice after a while that he seems a bit cagey with you at times. He always finds a way out of talking about his life before being taken in by the Ragnvindrs, and even when speaking about his life with them he seems to gloss over anything that he feels sounds unpleasant. He seems to do the same when speaking about work too. Of course, to a degree that's understandable. Surely there's some of his work that's confidential seeing as he's currently second-in-command to the Acting Grand Master. He would inevitably have to leave some things out or change details around. It's just strange because you know how much he loves to tell stories, yet he doesn't tell many grand tales about his work-related adventures. Even on the rare occasions he does, the stories he chooses to tell seem almost suspiciously mundane. It all adds up at a certain point.

Despite being his lover, the one who should arguably be the closest to him, it's as if you know both everything and nothing about him at the same time. You've slept at his side dozens of times, you know what his favorite meals are down to the exact way he prefers them made, you've picked up on who knows how many little habits of his that he may not even realize he has. You share such a deep, intimate bond with him and yet you know so little about who he was before the two of you met. Gods above, he won't even speak fully openly about his life here and now. It's a struggle. A true, honest struggle. You love him, so it's natural that you want to know everything and more about him, but he just won't budge. He's like a frozen wall sometimes and it hurts.

Truth is, he's actually deeply afraid. Terrified of saying too much. Terrified of saying the wrong thing. Terrified of losing you, his everything. He skips over so many important things about himself because he fears that you would leave, and that is a thought he just can't stomach. He hates to do it, truly. He knows you're smart enough to know something is amiss and he knows that it hurts you. The guilt of having to lie to and hide so much from his beloved is enough to consume him at times, but it's a necessary evil, isn't it? It's selfish of him, of course, but he's convinced himself that this is for the best for you both.

He does try to make up for it in his own ways. For every lie he tells or truth he hides, he finds an excuse to dote on you even more than he already does. An unprompted kiss, an offer to help you with something, or, so long as he can make time for it, he'll gladly arrange an almost needlessly wonderful date. The man will go the absolute distance to make up for the mountain of words left unspoken. Anything to ease the pain in your heart; to soothe the aches he's causing you. To anyone else, these things appear like nothing more than simple, casual acts of romance, but they mean that and so much more. They are acts of both love and apology.

Don't take any of this to mean that he never considers just telling the truth though; he most certainly does. There have been so many instances where he's truly considered sitting you down on a day that he has free and telling you everything. Of course, it would likely take hours worth of spilling his guts and trying his best not to let his emotions get out of hand, but... maybe it would be worth it? Perhaps it would, even if only slightly, ease the burden he carries and bring peace to your poor heart. However, that's where the fear comes back and makes him recoil. What if you were disgusted by what you'd hear? What if you'd turn out fearful of him knowing what he was capable of? What if you'd think less of him knowing why he was even here to begin with? The doubts never fail to be almost sickening. He loves you and trusts you more than he could ever put into words. He knows you deserve the truth, but no matter how many times he tries to convince himself to tell it, he just can't bring himself to disturb the peace he has with you... but maybe one day he'll find it in himself to take that risk. Who knows? Maybe it'll be sooner than later.

In many less words, to love Kaeya is to be patient with him, to give him grace, and most importantly, understanding. Give him that, and he may just be able to find it within himself to truly bare himself to you; to let you see all the things hidden beneath the veil.

[fallendemon6000]

Episode 7 - The Night of Confessions

It's the dead of night.

The woods are quiet. The Bentley is parked under a tree. The two are outside, Crowley leaning on the hood of the car smoking and Aziraphale looking at the moon.

He hugs himself with his hands.

He's not cold.

But his thoughts are making him shiver.

There's still something beneath the surface.

A: "There's something I haven't told you yet. It happened when... when I went back to Heaven."

Crowley takes a drag.

C: "I knew there was something. I could see it in you."

A: "Metatron... tested me. He wanted to make sure I was still... pure. Every inch of me. From the tips of my hair to the tips of my wings."

Crowley stiffens slightly.

C: "What kind of test?"

A: "Not physical. Not exactly. It was... like they were looking for cracks in my soul. Like they wanted to find every trace of you on me. Every fragment of doubt, every desire. Every hidden fragment of lust. Some sinful thought."

Crowley turns slowly toward him, stares at him.

C: "Aziraphale, I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me... did they touch you?"

Aziraphale doesn't answer right away.

He closes his eyes.

A long, dense moment.

A: "Not in my body. But yes. It was... like an invasion. A touch to my soul. To my mind. Like they were digging into my memories to tear them out, to make me feel dirty. To erase you."

C: "Damn bastards."

Aziraphale puts his hand on Crowley's arm.

A shaky, but sincere gesture.

A: "But they didn't succeed. Not completely. You're still here. In my heart, in my thoughts. In every laugh, in every dream."

Crowley swallows, lets go of the cigarette, and turns fully toward him.

C: "What if they try again?"

A: "They won't succeed. Because this time... I won't be coming back alone."

The night continues quietly around them.

Fireflies glow faintly in the distance.

The blankets are wrapped around them both, but there's still a thin space between them, until Crowley breaks the silence. He climbs down from the hood and places Aziraphale on top of it.

C: "You know... Touching someone isn't just... hands. Skin. It's... knowing that you can get close, and that they won't run away. That they're not afraid. That you're not afraid. That they'll stay, even if they see everything. Even the cracks."

He pauses. Then he moves closer. His voice is hoarse now. Closer to the ear.

C:"I... I would touch you differently. Not like them. Not to erase you, or judge you. But to remind you who you really are. And that you are... enough. Just the way you are."

Aziraphale looks at him. His eyes become glossy.

C:"With me... you shouldn't be afraid of feeling wrong. You've never been dirty. Never been a mistake."

Crowley reaches out a hand, slowly. He places it very delicately on the angel's heart, over his clothes.

It's a symbolic gesture.

A touch that asks for nothing, that only offers.

C:"This is touching. Not to take. But to stay. To make you feel safe."

Aziraphale holds his breath. Then, slowly, he places his hand on top of Crowley's. No need for words.

Their hands are still joined. The fireflies' fire has thinned out, leaving only the moon to illuminate their faces. Aziraphale looks at Crowley with eyes full of questions.

One in particular escapes him, almost in a whisper.

A: "And you? Have they ever... touched you like this? In the wrong way, I mean. Not in your body, but... in your soul?"

Crowley doesn't answer right away.

He looks away, towards the sky. He remains silent for a few moments.

Then he speaks, in a low, almost flat voice.

C: "Yes. It has happened. More times than I care to remember."

A difficult-to-read expression crosses his face. It's not anger, it's not pure pain. It's something older. Tiredness. Survival.

C: "You know... When they kick you out of Heaven, it's not just a fall. They strip you. They make you feel wrong forever. Every time you get close to something beautiful... you feel like you don't deserve it."

Aziraphale stiffens slightly, but doesn't let go of his hand.

C:"And then someone comes along. Maybe a superior. Maybe someone who pretends to want to "put you back in line." And touches you as if you were already rotten. And you start to believe it for real."

Crowley turns to Aziraphale. His eyes, for once, have no lenses. Only raw truth.

C:"You touched me differently. Not just with your hands. But with your voice. With the way you looked at me. For a moment I thought... that maybe I, too, could be something good."

Aziraphale has tears in his eyes. Not out of pity, but out of deep understanding. His hand squeezes Crowley's.

A:"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

C:"I know. And maybe... this time it's not too late to learn to touch each other well. Like it should."

The silence after the previous confession is heavy but not empty.

The hands have just separated, but the gazes remain united. Crowley takes a deep breath, then breaks the silence with another truth. One he’s never had the courage to say.

C: “Can I tell you something else? One I’ve kept to myself. For too long.”

A: “You can tell me anything, you know.”

C: “When you came back from Heaven… I couldn’t stand to be near you. Not just because of how I felt. Not just because I’d lost you. It was the way you smelled.”

Aziraphale frowns, confused. Crowley looks down, as if shame is burning beneath his skin.

C: “You smelled like him. Metatron. Heaven. That smell… too perfect. Too shiny. But there was something else underneath. A sour tone. Rotten. Like… flowers left to rot in a cathedral.”

Aziraphale pales. Not from anger, but from a sudden pang in his heart. He slowly lowers his eyes to his clothes, as if he wanted to smell that scent even now.

A: "Did you smell me?"

C: "It was inevitable for me. It was as if they had covered you with a shiny varnish. Shiny, yes... but toxic. Every time you came closer... it was as if he was still there. Between us. And I... I couldn't breathe."

Crowley's voice lowers, almost a whisper.

C: "I don't blame you. But it hurt. More than I care to admit."

Aziraphale approaches, slowly. Not to defend himself. Not to deny. But to be present, in silence, next to that wound. She places a hand on his chest, as if to calm his heart under the black skin of jacket and anger.

A: "I understand. And... I'm sorry. I had no idea."

C: "I know. And now you know."

[fakebatmanfan]

Can we got more Secret six NSFW headCanons?

That jervis is My fav and i'm so glad i could find someone else who also loves a that weirdo as Mich as i do, people don't appreciate him enought 😭

Secret Six Jervis - NSFW Alphabet

TW: NSFW, brief mention of drug usage and light BDSM

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Smug. After having sex, Jervis is either insanely smug or positively giddy with the high of orgasm. Even if he's made love more than a hundred times before, there's something special to him about laying claim over your body. He feels very proud of himself, either way.

Of course, he will ask if you're alright (and he may very well need to) in some mixture of genuine concern and pride. Something like:

"Was I too rough with you, dear? Oh, I'm afraid, terribly afraid I can't be anything but when you tempt me so."

Will he help you clean up? If you ask him to. But honestly there's a part of him that wants to bask in your sexual glory first. He may even suggest forgoing cleaning up all together and falling asleep with his penis in you, or something alike.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This Jervis loves his hands and all the things he can do with them; making hats, groping you, pinching you, tea, fingering you until you cry real tears... The list goes on.

While he is canonically an ass man, I think Jervis would also love your sweet, kissing lips; how they whisper his praises without so much as a hipnotic suggestion, how they kiss him so tenderly...

Don't get me wrong, though, your ass gets plenty of attention from Jervis during and outside of sex. He'll definitely give you a little pinch or smack there to signal that he's in the mood.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Jervis will cum anywhere you want and will probably end up making some kind of comment about "upsetting the milk jug" onto where ever he's cum.

It's a little bitter, thick yet oddly runny. He's kinda into seeing you swallow after you suck him off, but he thinks it's just as cute when it dribbles down your pretty face and lands on your chest below.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

When he first caught feelings for you, he'd fuck his Alice blow-up doll and pretend it was you. I'm debating whether or not he'd have given the doll a make-over to look more like you, but he most definitely used to speak to it as if it were yourself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Canonical body count of over 100. Believe me, you are in capable (cap-able?) hands.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

All of them? I mean, he looks like he's having missionary in this panel-

-But I really think this Jervis would be up for anything as long as he gets to fuck you. Physical closeness and being able to look at your face or ass is preferable, though.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It really depends, honestly. Sometimes, Jervis can be very serious in bed, especially if he knows he as to be gentle with you for whatever reason or he's in a possessive or generally poor mood . However, if either one of you is high or he's simply in very high spirits, he'll be rather silly.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Jervis' pubes are a very dark red, pretty much the colour of his wet hair in this panel:

They're by no means very neat, especially if he's not been doing very well mentally and thus hasn't been taking care of himself. If he is doing better, he might trim for your sake.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Usually, Jervis can be very romantic, especially if the occasion calls for it. But, when he's in his sillier moods, he'll often come off as a little... zany(?)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before he has you, he either uses his Alice doll or one of his hats to relieve himself, thinking of you all the while. Like I said, he 100% pretends the doll is you.

He masturbates very frequently.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Where do I start? I've discussed my speculations about what Jervis is into canonically but, strictly headcanoning here:

Jervis would be super into having sex either when both of you are high or if you're high alone. Something about seeing you at your most vulnerable (which goes double if you've never used drugs before) arouses him very much.

Of course, if you're high together you're both being vulnerable with each other. Jervis finds it very intimate.

Kinda already spoken about this, but it bares repeating, I think Jervis would kinda be into spanking, being an ass man and all. Nothing too harsh, but he really enjoys seeing you react and being able to "punish" you for teasing him.

He'd 100% try to talk you into wearing one of his special hats while you fuck. Similar to the whole 'Jervis enjoys fucking you while you're high because he's seeing you at your most vulnerable', but seeing you experience pure bliss would be very erotic.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

In bed is only naturally, but Jervis'll gladly take you on the floor (specifically in front of the fireplace), in his armchair, at the tea table, on the tea table...

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Hat.

On a more subjective level, though, it arouses him greatly when you play coy or touch him excessively. Also, seeing you dressed like Alice would similarly do the trick.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He could never hurt you (aside from the spanking, of course), and he certainly wouldn't degrade you in any way, shape or form and would expect the same from you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Oral king. He can bite and suck and lick and slurp your vagina like a sweet cup of tea. He takes great pleasure in it, too, especially if you're very reactive.

As for receiving? He's also a big fan. Sometimes, he likes to hold your hat to your head as you suck him off, guiding you in a way.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on his mood. If he's in a very bad or very good mood, prepare to be pounded into fast as he physically can. But, if he's actively trying to be more gentle with you or is being more sensual for whatever reason, he's slow as anything.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You can have quickies as much as you like, though considering how much time you likely spend with Jervis, having proper sex makes much more sense 9 out of 10 times.

Jervis denies you nothing.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Oh, Jervis is all too glad to experiment with you. He'll do almost anything you like in bed so long as you do the same in return.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Jervis can go for quite a long time, experienced as he is. He can go for a good many rounds, too, usually 5 at most. He gets a kick out of seeing how many times you cum before he does.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

The only 'toys' you'll be using are his special hats, which he mainly likes to use on you. If you had other toys, he may be curious about them and opt to use them on you, but a part of him would still be a little jealous at the idea of you pleasuring yourself with it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jervis is an insufferable tease. He knows just where to touch you, where to kiss you, what words to say to get you needing him just as much as he needs you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Jervis grunts a lot, especially during orgasm. He likes to talk to you, partially to be sure you're still there, usually in a whispery sort of voice if he's being gentle and his usual speaking voice if he isn't.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

When you were newlyweds, Jervis once made love to you nearly 10 times in one day. You were both exhausted afterwards and rather sore, but it's one of Jervis' fondest memories of you.

He also canonically drools and cries if the build up to an orgasm is particularly good.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Behold! Canon!

Dick wise, he's got a four inch grower, which is a little on the thinner side. Don't be fooled, he can use that thing like a weapon.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

So high. Maybe too high. If he has his way, Jervis'll have you 1 to 3 times a day, more on special occasions.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If you've had sex in the evening and your both in bed, Jervis'll fall asleep after he's made sure you're alright. But otherwise? He's perfectly able to continue about his day after fucking you. Albeit, he finds in incredibly endearing when you need to rest afterwards when he doesn't.

[wrestlersownmyheart]

"Yeet Of Fate" Chapter 12 (Jey Uso X Female Reader)

Title: Yeet Of Fate Pairing: Jey Uso X Reader Summary: When you, an aspiring author, decide to take your skills to the world of wrestling, you decide to shadow and tag along with a couple of wrestlers to learn more about the sport for your upcoming book debut. None other than the Royal Rumble winner, Jey Uso, is the male wrestler you will be working with, and needless to say, that makes you nervous. You tell yourself, things will stay platonic. You tell yourself that…

Jey Uso is at the top of his game, the last thing he needs is a fan trailing around after him and fan girling all over the place. He wants to do his job, bask in the glory of it and call it a day. Not have to answer questions all day long from a wannabe writer. That's how he feels, until he meets Y/N face to face. She isn't what he expected. And he doesn't like to be wrong. As beautiful as she is… He will keep things platonic. He tells himself that…

Disclaimers: I own nothing or anyone associated or affiliated with WWE. I own only the original characters. This is just a fictional story that came from my imagination. Content/Trigger Warnings: None that I realize

Chapter 12

One Month Later…

You gasp and sit up straight in bed.

That was yet another nightmare about Gunther choking you to death. You felt as if you'd had a hundred of them in the past month. It was taking its toll on your sleep and health.

You groaned as you laid back against the pillows. Your back was killing you. It had been aching a lot the past few weeks and you were also having nightly hot and cold flushes that were keeping you awake.

You nearly sobbed with the need you had for a good night's sleep.

And then there was the nausea that wouldn't go away. You could hardly eat for it. You were losing weight but yet your stomach was a bit swollen. You knew you should get to the doctor with all your symptoms, but you were afraid they'd find something you didn't want to know about.

Sighing softly, you turned onto your side and snuggled your face into Jey's shirt, trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep. You laid awake until dawn–when it was time to get up and get ready for work.

}i{}i{}i{}i{}i{

Several hours later, you were helping a young girl find one of her favorite books.

This is what's so satisfying about my job, you thought to yourself. Seeing a child's face light up at the thought of reading a book. You smiled at the little girl and took the book off the top shelf, handing it to her. The little girl smiled in return and went running to her mother, showing her the book she was going to check out.

"You're good with kids."

You froze.

That distinct voice.

You spun around and faced your nightmare.

Gunther.

"What… What are you doing here? How did you find me?" You demanded, backing up several steps till your back hit a wall of books.

He came forward then, trapping you in place.

"I have my ways."

"Leave, or I'll scream for help."

"There's no need to do that. I'm not here to hurt you."

You scoffed. "You think after what you did to me, I believe that?"

He scanned your face. "If you'd cooperated with me, none of that would have happened."

You ignored his comment. "What is it you want from me? Another title shot? Are you here to kidnap me and make Jey comply again? Well, you'll be disappointed to know that Jey was never truly wanting to be with me, so I won't work as leverage."

"I'm here because I want to take you out."

Baffled, you stared at him. "I'm sorry you must've hit my head harder than I realized. It sounded as if you just said you want to take me out. As in a date?"

"Yes."

"You're a sick man, Gunther. A sick, sick man."

You went to brush past him, but he grabbed hold of your arm and pulled you back. You gasped and tried to pull free but he simply held your arm tighter–enough to leave a mark.

"I always get what I want."

"You didn't get the world title off Jey," you pointed out, still trying to free your arm. "And why do you want to go out with me, anyway? You beat me up, you neanderthal," you hissed. "You really think I'd go out with someone like that?"

"You're a strong woman. You took everything I had to offer and then asked if that was all I had. That was gutsy. I like it. I like you."

"Well, I loathe you!"

You yanked your arm free and glared at him. "Come here again and I will have security on you faster than you can blink. We're not in the ring, Gunther. We're in real life here."

You turned and left him standing there, and went to hide in the office. You watched through the window as Gunther left the building, still looking self-assured. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, and tried to fight off a panic attack.

There's no one to protect me, you thought. You'd threatened him with security, but the security the library had was no match for Gunther. If he truly lost his mind, and you suspected he had, he'd demolish them all. Not to mention if he found you at your job…

"He could know where I live," you finished your thoughts out loud.

You tried to breathe but could not seem to get enough air into your lungs. Your vision went hazy and you felt yourself falling to the floor, and absolutely nothing you could do about it.

After what seemed like a mere few seconds, you came too, with Christina above you–looking very worried.

"Oh, my gosh, Y/N… What happened?!"

You sat up with her help and touched your head. "The… The man who attacked me, that I told you about? He was here. And I got over-upset and fainted. That's all. No big deal."

"It is a big deal. You may have fainted because you're not eating enough. You are looking too thin. You can't let a guy do this to you, Y/N."

"You don't understand," you argued. "It's not because of Jey. I'm literally nauseous all the time. And I can't sleep. I just don't feel good anymore."

"Then go to the doctor," Christina said softly. "You need to find out the underlying cause of all this."

You nodded in agreement.

She was right. No matter what the problem was, you needed to know what it was. You pulled out your phone and began making an appointment with your doctor for the next day.

It was all set. But your nerves were on edge, for sure.

}i{}i{}i{}i{}i{

You walked into the clinic and got checked in at the front desk, and took a seat to wait to be called back. Within fifteen minutes, your vitals were being taken and you were seated in an exam room. Then you were waiting again.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Finally, Dr. Yandell walked in and greeted you.

"It's good to see you again, Y/N. How are you?"

"Not very well, I'm afraid."

"Oh? What seems to be the problem?" The doctor asked, pulling your file up on her laptop.

"Well, I've developed some symptoms over the past few weeks and they aren't going away."

"What kind of symptoms?"

You brushed your hair over your shoulder. "Well, fatigue, an achy back, I can't sleep–like, hardly at all and when I do doze off I have… horrible nightmares. I also am nauseous all the time and can't eat hardly anything."

"Y/N… What about your periods? Are they as regular as usual?"

You paused. What did your period have to do with it? It wasn't computing for you. "Y-yeah… It's due on…" You ticked the days off in your head and counted them on your fingers. "It's uh…actually late. A couple of weeks late."

It began to add up for you then.

Jey hadn't used a condom–you'd both been in such a rush. And you weren't on birth control. You'd had no reason to be.

"Do you think I'm pregnant," you gasped out.

"It certainly sounds like a good possibility," Dr. Yandell replied, typing on her laptop. "I'm going to order some labs for you. We'll know for sure in a couple of hours, and then we'll go from there."

You were directed to the clinic's lab, and blood was drawn from you. You were told to check out and that you'd be notified of your results within a couple of hours.

So, you left. And you actually felt as if you left with more questions than answers.

What would you do if you were indeed pregnant? You knew you'd keep the baby. But would you tell Jey? You felt, on one hand, that he had the right to know. But on the other hand, you felt as if he wouldn't care–maybe even resent the fact that you were pregnant. He'd probably think you were going after child support, which couldn't be further from the truth. You didn't want his money. You wanted his love. And that was never going to happen.

You sighed and shook your head as you drove home. How did you get yourself into such a predicament?

You got home and to get your mind off things, you began cleaning a house that was already clean. You were in the middle of dusting your living room, when your doorbell sounded.

Hurrying to the front door, you looked out the peephole and saw a florist delivery person. They were holding a vase of red roses. A lot of them.

Who would send me roses, you wondered.

You opened the door and immediately, but with a polite smile, said, "I think you may have the wrong house."

"Um, are you Y/N Y/L/N… At 56 Grand Oaks Lane?" The delivery person asked, checking his records.

"Well, yeah, that's me," You said, stymied. You accepted the bouquet and thanked the driver for delivering them. Then you carried them into the house, and set them on your dining table. The flowers were a vibrant red, and very beautiful. But you still had no idea who would've sent them.

Taking the little card out of the envelope holder, you tore the envelope open and read the card inside.

I hope you'll change your mind. ~G

You groaned and rolled your eyes. And then it hit you.

"Gunther does know where I live."

What were you going to do?

As if everything was crashing down on you at once, your phone rang. You almost ignored it, due to your stress. But then you remembered you were expecting a call from the doctor's office.

Quickly, you pulled the phone out of your pocket, and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Miss Y/L/N?"

"Yes, this is she."

"This is Mallory at Dr. Yandell's office. Your test results came back positive. You're pregnant."

A sigh heaved out of you then.

What next, you wondered.

"Okay, thank you for letting me know."

"Congratulations! Dr. Yandell has faxed in some pre-natal vitamins to your pharmacy, and has booked you an appointment with an ob-gyn. Would you like to write down the information?"

"Yes, just a second while I get a pen and paper."

Flustered as you were, it took you a moment, but you finally found your pen and pad of paper in your office, and jotted down your appointment date, time, and the clinic. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Have a nice day Y/N."

You hung up, and sank down into your desk chair, as your legs had gone shaky. "I'm having a baby," you touched your forehead, willing some dizziness to go away.

Once it receded, you went back to the dining room and took the bouquet of roses from Gunther, and took them outside.

Straight to the trash bin.

If you want on my tag list, just ask! 😀

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@skyesthebomb

[arrgh-whatever]

my AC character

[statementlou]

https://www.tumblr.com/louisupdates/754934426217152513/goodbye-faith-in-the-future-world-tour-272024?source=share

did he or did he not lose fans then?

I will answer this because this anon actually brings a concrete question to the table rather than just "hurhur but you're a larrie??" (tell me you can't actually refute any of our points…). Anyway this post shows the decrease in Louis instagram followers between the screenshots taken directly after the release of Faith in the Future in Nov '22, when he changed his bio to promote that album and the tour tickets, and now, when he changed it again to mention the current release. But I'm putting that response under a cut because I'm tired of the actual POINT of all this nonsense getting lost in a sea of made up things people insist are important:

There is no rational argument you can make to say that Louis has less fans now than he did 2, 4, or 6 years ago. You don't need a spreadsheet of details you need to USE YOUR EYES! He has gone from filling theaters to filling arenas and stadiums. His second album made a higher chart position than his first album. His festival has doubled in size EVERY year of its existence. And for that matter: his insta post engagement numbers remain about the same (despite the fact that older posts should have way MORE likes due to having been there longer, even aside from follower counts.) SO WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT HIS INSTA FOLLOWER NUMBER???? Serious question: what does the word "fans" mean if these things aren't what matters? ALL of this quibbling about what he should do to make things better and people can't even see that THINGS AREN'T BAD.

Anyway to address the specific question- (con't......)

NO- HE DID NOT LOSE FANS. HE LOST SOME INSTA FOLLOWERS. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. As I said above, literally what does it mean to lose fans if that number change coincides with him having higher sales, more audience members, and higher engagement than ever before? Whatever he lost ISN'T FANS. I wouldn't be surprised if a significant factor was something like a bot purge, but also yes: I'm sure a lot of casuals followed him around the time of his big album release and later unfollowed him. That's extremely normal because that's how casual engagement works, and why the definition of fan really matters. Louis and his team understand this and have referenced it repeatedly, talking about how lucky he is to have *us* specifically, to have the kind of dedicated fanbase he has, to have the KIND of fans he does who will allow him to do what HE wants. @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram named the issue of depth vs breadth with regard to fans a long time ago, and pointed out why having DEPTH is so much more important. It's like this- artists who are on top 40 radio have more numbers on things like insta follows, and for a time on sales and tickets. But those aren't FANS- they're people with a casual interest. And as soon as that person isn't being forced in their ears 10x a day, those people lose interest and stop supporting them, stop buying stuff and unfollow, and those artists end up doing the 'opener on the jingle ball' circuit rather than their own tours. One Direction as a whole, and Louis maybe most of all or near to at this point, have something MUCH MORE VALUABLE than that- DEPTH FANS. Louis has fans who will support him even if he takes years to release music, or stops parading around with a pretend girlfriend to stay in the headlines at least once a month, or completely changes his image and genre, and that is UNHEARD OF. It's ASTONISHING and worth SO MUCH MORE. And they get that! THAT is why he always bragging about us, why industry people he works with are always so agog about us, why he will do anything for US- not for randos. He is also growing his breadth- and it's OBVIOUSLY WORKING whatever his follower counts are, but that is always going to be secondary to doing things for THE FANDOM because that is his sustainable business model. That is what keeps him onstage and reaching number one. And not coincidentally, the things they do are also working to grow that- much more valuable- commodity. So the fact that that's exactly what these chuckleheads complain about- that he does things that are just fandom facing or serving rather than everything being aimed at recruiting casual fans- does nothing but betray how completely they, unlike Louis and his team, misunderstand the actual drivers of his (actual, existing, happening) success. Luckily for Louis, he and his team rely on their own data harvesting (they do a LOT of it) and growth metrics (they're off the charts) rather than the smug assumptions of random (mostly quite new to this) fans and the few bitter people leading the complaining about everything Louis does.

[pseudospectre]

Sent an application for a kitten on Petfinder tonight. I'm irrationally scared they'll reject me for some reason :/ but Selkie needs a buddy and I've been scrolling looking for a little face that calls to me. And she does. So I hope I hope!

[aibouart]

Work doodle tax

He/him

[follineo]

UUUUGHGGHGHGHGH,,,,

[light-wrath-paradise]

Tomorrow, I have to go visit my parents for 4 days because my mother's birthday is fast approaching, pray that I do not kill myself while there

[breadwheathead]

gotta go harvest my celery or whatever I planted in tunnel town

[patientz-ero]

im a normal man and I don't cover my ears whenever I see I bug I am absolutely not deathly afraid they'll get in my ears and infest my brain. I know this is irrational and I am a NORMAL MAN.

[adore-gregor]

.

[justablah56]

hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .

[the-everqueen]

aous was...fine, imho, it was fine, but it was fundamentally white, middle-class british and i could accept that but i couldn't forgive it