#like can the songs stop changing color and texture | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

countessofravenclaw · 6 months

Text

A homeland this north, country dear fathers! Part uno

Winter is the time for holidays, celebrations, and fun. Nina, Gastón, Luna and Matteo receive a wedding invitation to France for the New Years and decide, since they're already going to Europe, why not take everything out of it and take a well-deserved skiing vacation? Simon and Ambar join them and all is set for a relaxing holiday at Finland's northern region called Lapland. A place for speed, reindeer, fun, and dangerous situations... Just kidding, what could possibly go wrong at the winter wonderland? (There is a Finnis Christmas song linked on the title)

Taakse jo jäänyt on syksyn lohduttomuus

“You still think it was a good idea to take Newton out on this weather?” Nina said to Gastón as he came through the door with Newton.

It had been raining hard the whole early October evening, but her husband still thought that it couldn’t possibly be stopping him from going on his run with their dog.

“I turned around when the thunder started.” Gastón said, as that would make it any less crazy.

“You’re soaked to the skin,” Nina walked into the downstairs bathroom and grabbed Newton’s towel and handed it to Gastón. Newton was just sitting on the floor next to him wagging his tail and tongue out—also soaking wet, “He’s gonna zoom around for an hour now.”

“Then let's let him,” Gastón just laughed, “Hey look, I turn 27 next week and be in my late twenties, so I gotta have the fun now.”

“Getting poured on is fun?” Nina just shook her head again before her eyes focused on a pile of papers on the chest of drawers, “What’s that?”

“I got the post,” Gastón answered as he hung his, completely soaked through, jacked on a hanger.

“I don’t know why we still have paper post delivered,” Nina picked up the envelopes, “How has it not died yet? I’ll look through them, you need to go shower and change before you catch a cold.”

Nina put the envelopes on the coffee table as she sat down on the couch after Gastón had gone up. Newton curled next to her as she opened her phone. Her publishing agency had sent her couple of emails that she had left unread earlier in the day, so she opened them now. They were about the publishing announcement of her third book, which would finish her debut trilogy that she had started while in university.

Something that had started as a “stupid idea”, although Gastón liked to differ on the topic, was now finished and had given her defining career, and she honestly was getting a weird feeling of sadness about it. One era in her life was kind of over and she needed to figure out what to do next.

“Was there anything interesting?” Gastón walked back down the stairs.

“Where?” Nina looked up as he sat on the other side of Newton, who was dead asleep in a bagel position.

“In the envelopes?” Gastón asked again amused, “We don’t get much paper post. Who on earth is sending some?”

“I didn’t look at them yet.” Nina admitted, “I had a couple of emails from Mereilla that I needed to read. You know, about the press release and about quotes for it.”

“They are sending you those now?” Gastón furrowed his brow, “They couldn’t wait till tomorrow?”

“They came earlier today actually,” Nina opened her phone again, “I just didn’t look at them. You know how busy the end of the year is if the book comes out in January. But there is nothing I can do about these now. I’ll be going over there for that meeting on Monday anyway.” Nina put her phone away and reached for the post.

Most of the envelopes were either advertisements or some other insignificant stuff. Under all those on the other hand was a thicker envelope.

It was dusty rose-colored, and envelope was really textured. Her and Gastón’s names were written with perfect cursive on the front with their address. The stamps indicated that the envelope had come all the way from France. It was even sealed with a wax seal that had the initials “O & F” on it.

“I think we know what this is,” Nina handed it to Gastón, because she would never be able to break the seal. She didn’t have the fine motor skills for that.

“I thought for sure they wouldn’t send paper ones,” Gastón remarked, “But here we are. Explains why it took so long. I was already starting to get worried.”

He pulled the invitation out of the envelope and handed it to Nina.

It read:

Flor Astrella and Oliver Carson invite you to celebrate with them as they become Mr. and Mrs. Carson on 31st of December 2026 at The subterranean monolithic church of Saint-Jean 18 Rue St Jean, 16390 Aubeterre-sur-Dronne, France Starting 15:00 The reception will be held afterward at Le Château Charmant Le Bourg 16320 Boisné-la-Tude, France

“So, they did settle for the new year’s after all,” Gastón remarked, “Now I need to call James and Jacob to see if they knew and I was the one left waiting for the invite. Well, now we don’t need to make plans for the new year’s.”

“Well, we do need a plan,” Nina noted, “since we’re traveling to France.”

“I know that,” Gastón laughed and grabbed the tablet that had been on the coffee table, “So, the closest airport to that place is the Bergerac and there is a train station near as well, the Chalais. I think it might be smarter to get a hotel closer to the airport… Good thing about this is that I don’t need to get any time off, so we can do what we want.”

The whole executive team at Castillo Corporation had a consecutive summer vacation from the 19th of December to the end of January.

“So, if we got this today…” Nina was turning the invitation on her hands, “...although, I doubt Luna and Matteo check their mailbox every day. Should we call them to tell them that these have come?”

“You are so certain they are invited?” Gastón was grinning at her, and Nina rolled her eyes at him. Gastón had been the one to matchmake Flor and Oliver at Oxford, once upon time, and Nina had helped. They had been close personal friends with them, ever since Oliver had been Gastón’s roommate, but Matteo was Flor’s cousin. “Just joking, Matteo would never speak to Flor again if she didn’t invite him. These surely were sent in the same batch.”

“We should talk to them before we book any accommodation,” Nina continued, “So we can do it together.”

“I agree,” Gastón nodded, “but do we really wanna spoil the joy that they got a wedding invitation, given that nobody really knew when this was gonna be happening. Last time I asked, Oliver gave me like three dates. Maybe we should just wait until at least tomorrow for them to get it and then talk.”

“You’re right,” Nina nodded and scooted closer to lean on Gastón’s shoulder. Newton was still between them, but they were used to the clingy third-wheeling dog. They wouldn’t have it any other way. “You know, there has been so many weddings since we came back.”

“That’s true,” Gastón seemed to count with his fingers, “Simon and Ambar, Us, Pedro and Delfi, Elizabeth, then my uncle, Luna and Matteo, Jonathan and Windy… That’s all, right? That’s seven, Flor and Oliver are the eight.”

“It’ll be nice to be just a guest again,” Nina continued, “Being a bridesmaid has been exhausting. Your uncle’s wedding was really nice.”

“Because your boss, who had very recently promoted you very unexpectedly, wasn’t there. The aforementioned boss being also a person who your parents don’t particularly like. I still wonder why Mom and Dad let me even work at Castillo Corporations.” Gastón laughed slightly, “Flor and Oliver’s wedding will be so much more peaceful. And I definitely see why they chose the date… New years can be so romantic…”

Nina smiled as she felt his hand creep up around her waist, pulling her closer.

“Your suits are still fine, right?”

“Yeah,” Gastón nodded, “I don’t think I will wear the black one, though. I wear it too much for work. I don’t want to feel like I’m in the business meeting with people from Tokyo while celebrating my friends’ marriage.”

“Wear the blue one,” Nina simply stated. She couldn’t fully agree with his sentiment about the black suit, not that she understood anything about engineering collaborations with the Japanese, because she did not mind at all looking at Gastón in a suit. He looked way too good in business casual, or any kind of other formal wear. “I’ll have to call Mora, because I don’t have anything for an actual winter wedding. It’s probably going to be quite cold.”

“Just make sure it has a zipper on it.”

“You have a preference now?” Nina asked Gastón playfully. She knew exactly what he meant by that.

“What if I do?” he answered her glance. Her hand started running up his bare arm—He had thrown on just a T-shirt after the shower. “You know that Mora doesn’t look at me normally anymore.”

“Then maybe you should learn how to open buttons,” Nina continued, “She knows that they don’t fall off my clothes just naturally when she has to fix them.”

“I’m working on it…but only way I can do that, is by—” Their faces had gotten steadily closer as the back and forth had gone on. Now there were only millimeters, and she could feel his breath on her face, “—practice.”

Newton whined as he jumped off the couch before he was completely squeezed between them. He was probably giving them a very judgmental look from the floor, but neither Gastón nor Nina didn’t see it, because they were so wrapped up in each other.

They were only interrupted by a phone ringing on the coffee table.

“We really should get a soundproof safe where we can put those into,” Gastón huffed annoyed, “We get way too many mystery phone calls at very inconvenient times. That’s yours. Who is it?”

“Luna,” Nina grabbed her phone, “Who would have thought? No more mystery relatives. Well, I actually don’t have ones”

“I swear Luna and Matteo have some kind of sixth sense for extremely poor timing,” Gastón shook his head, “Mark my words, if we end up not being able to have children, it’s because they are not giving us the chance.”

“I’ll get rid of her as quickly as I can,” Nina laughed. Gastón was right in some sense. Luna was 25 and a grown woman, but she still had retained her never-ending positivity and innocence… She did sometimes have a habit of not realizing that she had just walked in on something.

Luna was calling a video, but Nina didn’t really deem it necessary to get up. Hopefully, this wasn’t going to be that long of a conversation.

“Hey!” She pressed the button and Luna's face became visible on the screen.

“Hii!” Luna was clearly beaming, “So, guess what?”

“What?” Had Luna called to play charades?

“Guess where me and Matteo are spending the New Years?” Nina shared a glance with Gastón. Either Luna and Matteo had checked their mail, or this was a huge coincidence.

“Well, where?”

“No, you have to guess.” Luna continued.

“Okay,” Nina rolled her eyes at her. She wasn’t that in the mood for a long-winded guessing game, especially since she knew the answer. “France?”

“How did you know?” Luna exclaimed.

“This came in the mail,” Nina showed the envelope on the camera.

“Told you they had gotten it as well! “Matteo’s voice came from the background.

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to assume!” Luna yelled back.

“You do realize right that we actually kind of know Oliver and Flor better than you do.” Gastón joined in the conversation, “Or at least more recently.”

“Hey! I know my cousin better than anybody!” Matteo appeared next to Luna on screen.

“I mean, she’s getting married so somebody might know her pretty well…”

“Yeah, I prefer not to think about that.”

Nina propped her phone up on the coffee table, as this conversation seemed to become a four-way one. She cuddled on Gastón’s side, and he wrapped his arm back around her waist. This was probably gonna take a while after all, so no reason why she shouldn’t be comfortable.

“Well, we were actually also wondering if you had gotten the invite, since they aren’t giving us that much time,” Gastón continued, “We should look at the accommodations. It's probably easiest to arrive a day before.”

“Yeah,” Matteo was rubbing his neck, “I get why they’re having it in France, since that's where they live, but I gotta admit, this does feel like a bit of a hassle to go all the way there for just two nights...”

“Well, we’re not in any kind of hurry to leave,” Nina started saying. “It’s winter there, so there could be lot of things to see that you don’t in Summer.”

“Wait,” Matteo looked pensive for a moment, “What if we went skiing, on the Alps.”

“That’s a really good idea!” Luna exclaimed, “Although, I have never skied… But it looks so much fun. Lets do it!”

“We actually never have been skiing together,” Gastón noted to Matteo, “I often went to Canada with my parents, when I was younger. But I agree, that’s a good plan. We’re all on vacation anyway, so we could just find a ski resort in the alps and stay a week or two. What do you think?”

“Well, I also have never skied—” Nina answered the question directed at her, “—nor will I. It seems dangerous. Anyway, I like the plan, there are other things to do for me.”

“Oh my god! We’re going skiing! I’m gonna see snow!” Luna had gotten up and was doing some sort of dance.

“In this case, we need to plan even more,” Gastón piped up again, “You should come over tomorrow so we can get all of this sorted.”

***

“If we want to go to the Zillertal Arena, Gerlost is the closest town, so we could stay there.” Matteo was crouching down toward the laptop.

He was glad that they had come up with this plan. He hadn’t been skiing in a while, and since they were in Europe anyway, why not take everything out of it. Obviously, he was super happy for Flor too and excited for the wedding as well.

“I don’t know,” Gastón seemed to shake his head, “Do we wanna stay in a hotel? I mean could we Airbnb a villa or something?”

“Uuuuu. Good idea!” Luna jumped up from the floor where she had been trying to get Newton to give her a paw… He hadn’t fully mastered obeying someone outside of Gastón and Nina yet.

“That was in Austria, right?” Nina looked up as well, “What’s the closest airport?”

“Innsbruck,” Gastón answered, “It’s about an hour away. We do have to connect from Charles de Gaullen. Anyways, then we can rent a car from the airport and just drive—”

His phone started ringing.

“Really?” Gastón grabbed his phone from his pocket. “I’m sorry, but I have to answer this. I’m still on call for a couple of hours.” He got up from the couch, “Gastón Perida.”

“You sure you don’t want to try skiing?” Luna had joined Nina back on the floor with Newton while Matteo kept scrolling on all the different booking sites.

“I have never done it before.” Nina shook her head and held her hand out for Newton, “Newton, give me the paw.” The dog obliged immediately, giving his left paw to Nina's hand, “Good boy. You see, it’s about the tone of voice and eye contact. Treats also help.”

“I have never done it either,” Luna grabbed a couple of treats from the coffee table and threw them in the air while Newton caught them. “But it seems like so much fun. I need to take lessons, we could do it together. Who’s the bestest boy in the world?” She sunk her fingers in Newton’s fur to ruffle it aggressively, “Give me a paw?”

Newton just sat down next to Luna wagging his tail and looking at her confused.

“Why isn’t it working?”

“You’re too easy target,” Matteo laughed from the couch, “You give way too many treats as it is, so he doesn’t see the need to work for them.”

“Anyway, back to topic,” Luna sighed while Newton was now licking her hand, and begging for more treats, “Nina, you never know if you don’t try.”

“I can live with never knowing if can I ski or not,” Nina stated, “I’m not athletic, nor do I enjoy it. I would just get myself hurt.”

“Luna, don’t push it.” Matteo said before Luna was able to open her mouth again. “What’s taking Gastón so long?” He craned his neck to look towards the guest room of Gastón and Nina’s house, where he had gone to take his call.

“I don’t know,” Nina looked at the same direction, her face showing mild concern. “He doesn’t usually get calls that take this long while on call. Hopefully, there isn’t actually something really wrong, that he needs to start working on.”

Just as Nina had finished saying that, the door opened back up and Gastón walked out of the room. To Matteo, it kind of looked like he was shaking his head slightly and looking annoyed.

“What’s wrong?” Nina got up from the floor at once and walked up to Gastón. If Matteo had slightly sensed that something wasn’t right with Gastón after that phone call, Nina obviously had picked on it immediately.

“There is nothing wrong, exactly,” Gastón sighed, “I don’t necessarily have good news.”

“What is it?” Matteo frowned as Gastón and Nina came to sit back on the couch.

“So, the call I just got was not from a panicked client who is worried about some bridge structure,” Gastón started, “It was our international representation and relations coordinator.”

“Okay, I don’t know who that is, but sounds important,” Luna remarked from the floor.

“What did they want with you?” Nina asked while ruffling Gastón’s hair. It was a comforting and affectionate gesture that, Matteo was pretty sure, she had adopted from Isla.

“Well, thats the thing.” Gastón continued, “I am being sent on the behalf of Castillo Corporations to give a series of lectures about our work to Aalto University.”

“Isn’t that an honor?” Luna asked again from the floor. “I love talking about skating to kids.”

“It would be,” Gastón sighed, “If this wasn’t going to happen on January 2nd, 2027.”

“Two days after the wedding?” Matteo asked shocked.

“Where is Aalto University?” Nina questioned, “You said it was an international affair. That’s not in Buenos Aires.”

“Aalto University is the most prominent engineering, business, and art university in Finland.”

“Finland?”

“Where is that?” Luna was making a lot of pondering faces, while Newton next to her was just staring at everyone.

“In northern Europe,” Gastón answered, “In between Sweden and Russia…but this means that alps are gonna be a bust, since I have to fly straight to Finland after the wedding. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Nina had taken his hand, “But, are they allowed to do this? You are supposed to be on vacation.”

“They are if all the bases are covered,” Gastón nodded, “I’m compensated for the lost day, getting paid, and getting a bonus. Apparently, this is really important…and I’m an assistant engineer, the most junior at that, in the team. I have not even been on the field for five years. I have no basis to refuse.”

“They’re not giving you a lot of warning,” Matteo frowned.

“From what I understood, there was an unexpected change of circumstances. PR usually handles all kinds of school exhibitions when it comes to possible career presentations, but apparently, these lectures are part of some sort of summit with a bunch of different companies. I need to attend an assembly with them, representing us and our work against the climate change and stuff. PR rep can’t do that, it needs to be somebody who is actually working on the stuff, meaning an executive team member, and apparently all the higher-ups unanimously wanted me to do it.”

“Aren’t you a higher-up?” Luna questioned.

“If I start explaining the bureaucratic hierarchy, we will be here till the wedding. I don’t even get it myself sometimes.” Gastón sighed again, “The bottom line is, that this foils our plans.”

“Your work doesn’t need to stop us,” Luna piped up. She had that look in her eyes, which signified that she had had an idea.

“I don’t think any of us want to be flying back and forth between France, Finland and the Alps.”

“I didn’t mean the Alps, or whatever,” Luna jumped up from the floor to a standing position. “Why can’t we all just go to Finland? It’s still a European country, is it not? Can’t we ski there?”

“Actually, I think we can…” Matteo muttered, and he understood what Luna meant, “It’s really in the North, they surely have snow.”

“Okay, I looked it up,” Nina had been on her phone, “Finland is in the Nordic regions and its largest northernmost region is called Lapland. It’s a huge tourism destination, for example for skiing. The Artic Circle runs across it… and it’s where the Santa lives.”

“Really!?!” Luna turned around.

“Let her explain,” Matteo pulled Luna on the couch.

“The really popular ski resort there is called Saariselkä,” Nina read, “It’s a little less commercial, than other ones…apparently… We could probably find and nice Villa there where we could stay and there would be a lot to see. And… was the University close to the capital?”

“I think so,” Gastón frowned, “It was somewhere called Otaniemi, which was in somewhere called Espoo. I need to look those up, but it sounded like in the capital area, like close to the airport.”

“So, we can just look around at the capital, while you’re in your conference.”

“That’s settled,” Matteo clapped his hands, “We fly to Finland after the wedding, Gastón does his thing and then have a fun vacation.”

“Yeah,” Gastón was nodding again, “Although, I’m just a little worried about the Jet lag. I think we should go to France as soon as possible after Christmas, just to get used to the European time, to actually be presentable at places.”

“That makes sense,” Nina nodded, “We can't leave until Boxing Day is over, and then we need time to pack, so the 28th? It will be a long flight.”

“I apparently get all the necessary information on Monday, so we can’t do any booking on the Finland’s front before it, but we should get the flight and the hotel to France now, so the ball is rolling.”

***

“I swear that’s the case,” Ambar said as she sipped her drink while she and Luna were sitting on the terrace of her and Simon’s house. Luna had eaten dinner with them as Matteo had a meeting with his management, “She doesn’t usually act like that. There has to be a reason.”

“How do you know?” Luna grabbed another cookie from the table. Simon and Ambar had gotten really into baking together recently, “These are super good.”

“Thanks!” Simon said as he walked back out and sat next to Ambar on the swing, “We asked the recipe from Monica.”

“I just have this gut feeling.” Ambar continued. “Watch me be right.”

“Moving away from that topic,” Simon grabbed his drink, “What are you and Matteo doing for Christmas?”

“Nothing special. Haven’t decided yet. Sofia and Alexander are apparently going to be in Italy, so I guess we could go stay with Mom and dad in the mansion” Luna shrugged, “Uuuu, are you going to Mexico?”

Both Simon and Ambar shook their heads.

“We need to try to make that happened at some point,” Ambar looked at Simon, “It feels so unfair to your parents that we’re never there for Christmas.”

“Trust me, its chaotic” Simon laughed, “We’re probably better off here.”

“I don’t mind some chaos.” Ambar smirked at him. “We really should try and make the effort. They must miss you.”

“I know,” Simon nodded, “I mean it would be nice, but a bit of a hassle. We can try next year.”

“Thats a deal.” Ambar smiled.

“Oh,” Luna’s eyes widened in some kind of realization, “I didn’t tell you yet. We’re going to France for the New Years!”

“France?” Simon questioned, “How did you come up with that? What you’re gonna do?”

“We’re going to a wedding.” Luna explained while pulling picture of the invite up on her phone.”

“That’s great!” Ambar took a look at the invite, “Flor? She was Matteo’s cousin, right? And… Did you know the groom too? Sounds familiar.”

“Well, not really, but kind of,” Luna looked at her drink, “Gastón and Nina know him…”

“Oh right,” A realization hit Ambar, “He was Gastón’s roommate. I almost forgot, it has been so long. This makes sense though, she caught Nina’s bouquet and everything.”

They had spent considerable time with Gastón and Nina’s group from Oxford during the days leading to and after their wedding, but that had been quite a long ago now. They had gotten along well, and Ambar was actually a little sad that they had not been able to get to know each other a little better.

“So, four of you are going there together?” Simon asked.

“Of course, they are,” Ambar kept looking at the invite, “Wasn’t it Gastón and Nina who made them get together in the first place?”

“I think it was,” Luna nodded, and started laughing “Oh, I remember when Matteo found out… It was so funny. Before I forget, I need to tell you about this awesome plan we came up with.”

“What plan?”

“Wait for it…” Luna paused for suspense, “We’re going skiing! Since we’re already at Europe.”

“You are going skiing?” Ambar looked at Luna questionly “Have you even skied before?”

“Nope,” Luna spun on her chair, “But it looks so much fun… I thought I might try a snow board, or why not both?”

“It is fun,” Ambar nodded.

“When have you been skiing?” Simon turned to Ambar.

“When I was younger, Sharon had often business with some Ski resort people. I got to do what I wanted, so I signed myself up for some private lessons and then spent my day on the slopes. She didn’t care, only took care of the bill.” Ambar explained, “Then we stopped, which was a shame. That place was always one of the more fun vacations I took with her. All that said, it was really fun and quite similar to skating.”

“Well, I have never skied, or done any other winter sport,” Simon seemed to shiver from a thought. “I have never seen snow.”

“Me neither,” Luna jumped up for a moment, “I’m so excited. I wanna make a snowman so badly.”

“You didn’t tell us where you we’re going skiing.”

“Oh, I didn’t?” Luna sat back down and started talking with very fast pace, “We thought about the Alps at first, but Gastón got a call from his job, so we couldn’t do that so now we’re going to Lapland.”

“Wait, Luna, slow down,” Simon interrupted, “So you couldn’t go to the Alps. What does Gastón’s job have to do with anything?”

“Because he got called to do something at Aalto University right after the wedding.”

“Aalto University?” Ambar questioned, “Isn’t that in Finland?”

“Yes,” Luna nodded, “That’s why we’re all going there and then we’ll go far off north from there and stay somewhere called Saariselkä, where we can ski.”

“Now I’m jealous,” Ambar hummed. She had met couple of finnish exchange students while in law school, “I had to take couple of business classes at UCA, and there were couple of exchange students from that school specifically. All of the countries up north of Europe are intriguing, not the mention beautiful. Is Gastón doing some lectures there or…?”

“I don’t know, something like it,” Luna shrugged, “Ask him.”

“I will,” Ambar continued, “That school has very high rankings on digitalization and sustainable innovations.”

“Well, it sounds like you have a lot of fun planned,” Simon took a bite of his fifth cookie.

“Simon, we don’t have anything planned for New year’s and after, right?” Ambar suddenly asked. “You’re taking a break with the band?”

“Yeah,” Simon nodded, “Pedro was the one to insist on the full vacation for the summer. Why?”

“Just that…” Ambar continued with a pensative voice, before she turned to look at Luna, “...any chance we could come with you?”

“With us?”

“Yes,” Ambar continued, “Not to France obviously, since we’re not invited, but we could meet up with you once you’re heading up to the north.”

“You mean we would go to ski too?” Simon looked at her quizzingly, “You realize that I have never done it right?”

“Of course, I know that darling,” Ambar patted Simon on his arm, “But Luna’s taking lessons, and so would I need too, so we could all do it together. It’s so much fun, almost like skating, but just down a slope. You’d like it. Right, Luna?”

“Yeah, of course!” Luna exclaimed, “Simon, it would be so much fun. I’m sure you’ll like it!”

“Well, okay then. This is a battle I can’t win.” Simon laughed and shook his head.

“So, I think I should call Nina now,” Ambar got up and grabbed her phone from the table, “just to make sure they’re okay with this.”

“I’m sure they will be.”

“But, it’s good still to ask.”

Ambar walked back inside and opened the door to the side room that Simon used for playing music.

“Hey! Ambar.” Nina answered her phone at once. The audio quality sounded like she was somewhere out, with footsteps and background noise, and talking through air pods.

“Hey! Is it a bad time?”

“No. I just got out of a meeting with my publishers, which ran a bit late. Just heading home now.” Nina answered as the footsteps kept going, “What’s up?”

“So, Luna told us about your plans,” Ambar continued, “That you’re going to Finland.”

“Yeah, Gastón got a mission from work to go there.”

“Must have been an honor for him. Getting to go represent the company in that scale, it’s pretty big.”

“It is, and I know he appreciates it in a way. The timing could have been better, though.”

“Well, about that.” Ambar started again, “Like I said, Luna told us about the plan for skiing at Saariselkä… and I wanted to ask if you have nothing against that me and Simon would be coming too? I haven’t skied in a long time, but I have wanted to get back into it for a while now. Plus, I think Simon could use some exposure to cold air.”

“Of course, we don’t have anything against it,” Nina’s voice said on the other end, “It would be amazing if you came too.”

“That’s great. What day was it when you’re gonna be heading up to Lapland?”

“We’re gonna finish the timeline today, as Gastón gets the details. Your timing is actually perfect, because we haven’t booked anything yet.”

“I can help with that.”

“You want to talk to Gastón about that, he has been coordinating this the most.”

***

“Yeah, two nights at Otaniemi, and then we’ll fly to Rovaniemi,” Gastón recapped for Matteo, as they, plus their wives were sitting in Gastón and Nina’s living room one late October evening.

“Ambar and Simon are meeting us at the airport when we fly to Lapland,” Nina explained, “We can go look around at the capital Helsinki while Gastón is giving those lectures at the Aalto University.”

“Well, you seem to have it all under control.” Matteo leaned back on the couch, “Remind me to travel with you more often.”

“I don’t know how I can wait two months!” Luna exclaimed from the floor where she had been playing with Newton. “By the way, is Newton going to that doggy-daycare again for that? We will be gone for almost three weeks.”

“No,” Gastón answered, “Delfi and Pedro will be taking care of him.”

“Delfi and Pedro?” Matteo questioned.

“Delfi has had dogs her whole life,” Nina explained, “She has sometimes gone with me to walk him when we have been talking about her producing that book trailer for me.”

“I do wonder if they are planning on getting a dog themselves,” Gastón pondered. “Pedro said something about it being good practice. Who knows what that’s about.”

“Well, that would be a bit odd,” Luna continued, “I mean, Ambar said that she swears that Delfi is pregnant so…”

“Really?” Nina questioned, “Huh, well that would actually make sense. She has seemed a bit tired, but we shouldn’t really speculate on that. It’s not our business.”

“They will probably tell us when it is its time,” Matteo started speaking, “Not like we are on the godparent short list.”

“I think Jazmin has the dips on that,” Luna noted, “Ambar did say that she is willing to go to war about it.”

“Poor Delfi and Pedro.”

“I hope we get to know before I start Christmas shopping,” Luna said while scratching Newton behind his ear. “I can already come up with so many cute things to give them.”

“Luna, it is October.”

“Yeah, so I only have two months to do the shopping and wrapping,” Luna countered.

“Don’t even speak to me about Christmas shopping yet,” Nina sighed, “Year by year it gets harder. It feels like everyone already has everything, especially after all the wedding gifts. I don’t even know what to ask myself.”

“Probably something everyone has trouble with as we are supposed to be so called adults now or something,” Matteo sighed too.

“Uuuuh! Let’s play a game!” Luna said so excitedly that she scared Newton and made him jump from her lap onto the sofa and curl next to Nina while eyeing Luna judgmentally. “Uups, sorry.”

“Should we be scared?” Gastón joked.

“No,” Luna roller her eyes. “What is the best gift you remember getting as a kid? Maybe that can give us some inspiration for gifts this year. Hold up a second, I’ll text Simon and Ambar that as well… you know what, I’ll just put that in the group chat and tell everyone to record a video about it so we can all know each other’s… okay that is done… So, who goes first?” Luna clicked her phone’s record button and started a video.

“Uhmmm, I can.” Matteo spoke hesitantly and Luna turned her phone towards him.

“Go ahead, it is already recording.”

“Uhm… okay,” Matteo started, “When I was nine, the last Christmas… before Mom died, I had just started piano lessons because dad wanted me to do that instead of playing the guitar. But they still gave me my first guitar as a Christmas present and mom asked me to sign it, and of course she didn’t know, none of us did, but she still got to witness my first autograph ever. I think the guitar is somewhere at storage at Dad and Sofia’s place right now.”

“We need to go find it!” Luna exclaimed, “I wanna see it!”

“We can go do that, but I do not know where it actually is.”

“No problem! Nothing is impossible to Luna Valente!” Luna stopped the recording and pointed the camera towards Nina. “Nina you are next!”

“Okay.” Nina stared at the camera blackly for a second, “Uhm, so. Well, this will sound really cliche, but it was a book. It was the Christmas right after Mon and Dad had finally gotten divorced… I remember it because that really was the first Christmas, I remember having some peace and them not fighting, since they were not together, obviously. Mom and Dad, both gave me the same book as a presents, I didn’t tell them that, obviously because I didn’t want them to fight. But to me it just kind of symbolized that they were on some small level on the same page, by both knowing what I wanted, even if they did not know how to communicate and would not for many years.”

“What book was that?” Gastón asked and reached for her hand. Newton had crawled on Nina’s lap and had dosed off quietly snoring.

“I don’t remember,” Nina answered. “It was children’s book, and I definitely didn’t take it to Oxford. One of the copies is probably still at dad’s. I think the mom’s copy got lost in some box when we moved to Mora’s. I can ask but it’s probably lost forever.”

“So, your parents still don’t know about that?” Luna asked from behind the camera.

“No, they don’t, and I don’t think I will ever tell them.” Nina said and fiddled with Newton’s ear, “Well that was that.”

“I’ll go last.” Luna started another video on her phone. “So Gastón, your turn.”

“Okay, mine also involves my parents. It was when they gave me my first camera.” Gastón started. “It was our first Christmas in the house they still live in. I didn’t know it at the time, I was nine or something, since I was on third grade, but that was the time they really had started having money. They gave me this small digital camera, and I did not know how to use it and I thought it was stupid. Like I said: I was nine. Anyways, we actually went to Canada that year for the New Years and that's where I actually learned to ski. There dad took me out and actually taught me how to use the camera and told me that: even if I didn’t appreciate it then, it could bring a lot of things in my life. You all know how Mom and Dad met at the photography course at university, so that’s what he obviously meant, and now I know that he was right.” He scooted closer to Nina on the couch and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Aww, that was cute,” Luna squealed, “Okay, Matteo take this.” she threw her phone to Matteo. “My turn.”

“Okay, it is recording.” Matteo said and directed the phone towards Luna who was still sitting on the floor.

“I don’t fully remember this, since I was five, I think, but Mom and Dad told me that I was always drawn towards all kind of sun and star things.” Luna started, “Well, now we know why, but at the time they just thought it was cute. So, for the Christmas that years they got me this huge sun shaped pillow. And apparently what I said when I got it was: but why is it the sun? I am the moon!! But the pillow was so cute and me and Simon had so much fun jumping on it.”

“What happened to it?” Matteo asked.

“Yeah…” Luna laughed, “We kind of broke it with Simon…”

***

“...and that’s how I got my first guitar.” Simon stopped talking and Ambar pressed the button on the phone to stop the recording.

“There and sent.” She handed Simon his phone back. “Luna and her ideas.”

“I mean this is a good idea,” Simon scrolled through the chat, “Maybe little early, but better be prepared. Your turn.” He pointed the phone at Ambar.

“I don’t know what I am supposed to say to that,” Ambar looked down, “I spent my childhood with Sharon. I need some time to think about the best gift.” She blew out of breath, “She never really cared to make sure I got something I liked… I know, I know, I’ll bring it up to my therapist when I go next.”

“Oh well, there is no hurry with these,” Simon put his phone on the sofa.

“You know what we do need to hurry with?” Ambar opened her laptop. “It’s goig to be up to -30 degrees at Saariselkä.”

“Uuuf,” Simon leaned back on the couch, “I’m gonna become a living snowman.”

“Not if we get the proper gear,” Ambar rolled her eyes at him, “We’ll rent the skiing gear and snowsuits from there, but we both need proper winter jackets, preferably two, lighter and heavier ones. Then gloves, shoes and hats, the list goes on. This will be fun.”

“If we don’t freeze to death.”

“You have lived way too long next to the beach—” Ambar laughed when both of their phones dinged. “—Is that from the group chat?”

“Yeah, it’s Delfi,” Simon frowned looking at the group chat, “It’s a video with a title: Our best Christmas gift will be arriving a little later. What does that mean?”

“GIMME IT!” Ambar grabbed the phone from Simon and looked at the chat, “Oh my god! I knew it.”

“It might not—”

“What else could it possibly mean?” Ambar looked at Simon with disbelief, “Lets look at the video.”

The video was a picture collage of Delfi and Pedro that lasted maybe 15 seconds, until a picture from their wedding faded into a sonogram and a text: “Coming in April.”

“I was right,” Ambar smiled smugly at Simon.

“Have to say that you were,” Simon nodded smiling, “This is amazing. We should call them.”

“Absolutely agree,” Ambar nodded as well, “So we can get the godparent situation sorted as well… Although, Jazmin probably edited this video, which would mean that she knew.”

“Darling, I told you before,” Simon placed his hand on Ambar’s knee, “It’s not our decision. Delfi and Pedro have the right to pick, we’ll get our chance later. Plus, we already have a goddaughter.”

“Valeria is your goddaughter, not mine.”

“What’s mine is yours. That’s kind of how marriage works.”

***

“Nina! Look how cute this is!!” Luna jumped up while holding up a red and green Christmas onesie, “We should get these for Delfi and Pedro.”

“It is cute,” Nina reached out to touch it, “but feel how rough it is. It should be softer, and maybe the Christmas theme is a little too on the nose.”

“Argh, this is hard when we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl,” Luna groaned and put the onesie back.

It was late November and Luna and Nina were at a local mall doing Christmas shopping. They had gotten gifts for everyone else, but had left Delfi and Pedro as the last ones.

“Lot of colors can be considered as gender neutral,” Nina pointed out, “As long as we don’t get pink. Let's look at some light blue ones for example.”

“Isn’t it exciting!” Luna kept gushing, “They are really having a baby. First ones of us to have one.”

“It definitely is,” Nina nodded.

“Just think, maybe someday our kids will be besties, just like us,” Luna grabbed Nina’s arm.

“It’s definitely possible,” Nina laughed, “But we’ll never probably going to control the timing that much. We can’t know if our kids are going to be the same age.”

“Awww, look at that!” Luna dashed towards a display, specifically toward a white romper with grey sleeves and blue giraffes on it. “I’m getting them this one. Uuu, maybe we could buy some more from Finland, so we have baby shower gifts ready.”

“There is no babyshower planned.”

“There definitely will be,” Luna had dashed toward another display, “if Ambar and Jazmin can help it. Oh, did I tell you yet how many hats I have bought for our trip? They’re so cute.”

{}

So, it depends on the platform that you are reading this on, how common knowledge it is that I am in fact Finnish. So obviously I have wanted for the longest time to write a story where our characters go to Finland, and because I am pretty predictable, obviously they would go to Lapland and explore the beauty that our winter wonderland really is. This part was obviously mostly set up, so the story itself will get going little more in the next part. BUt hopefully, you enjoyed Newton's most prominent appearance to this day in my story. One more note, I am a former student of Aalto University, (I changed majors so I switched colleges) so that's why I chose it for this story. However I did have to bend some fact with this, just like with Oxford, there is no classes at the start of January, but that was the date I had to work with to have the wedding for the New Years

#Soy Luna #soy luna fanfiction #gastina #lutteo #simbar #pelfi #kind of in the background #Christmas #DCLA Holidays #Finland #I have my silly faves visit my country

3 notes · View notes

medusaveneno · 1 year

Text

✨Trending things/topics on tik tok and my opinion on them✨ lol I’m bored at 1 am and I’m scrolling through tik tok

Hair oiling ( Mielle rosemary oil amla oil ) ~ Every hair texture and especially bleached / colored , chemically damage and heat damage can benefit to hair oiling now it depend of your hair type and the porosity on which or what kind of oil you should use. Mielle oil isn’t the only oil good for your hair and for ppl complaining about it , it’s simply not meant for you. Amla oil is great too but if you don’t like the smell don’t make it trendy and keep your comments to yourself.

Zote soap /dial soap- it’s soap 😐 not that serious to sell out soap

Henna on hair ~ great to use 👌 and very beneficial✅ of used right if you 1000% sure you are never going dye or bleach your hair ( well until it grow out and you cut it off)

Any food sold from a tik tok ( pink sauce sold in Walmart ) ~ STOP BUYING FOOD FROM TIK TOK and the pink sauce still has its inconsistent coloring 🤢

Tj max , Burlington, Marshall, Ross , etc ~ Y’all are annoying stop shopping there if you can afford or you often buy from regular stores

Chrisean rock is preggors ~ 😳😭 buenoo , good luck

Yt ppl renaming ethnic foods~ 💀😂😭 Google is free bro

Oil pulling- I’ll try it one day 🤷‍♀️ idk tho do feel like holistic remedies can be beneficial

Jenna Ortega - great actress 🥰

Shea butter- love it 💕y’all should mango butter I personally mix it with lotion right out the shower

Shakira new song - love it 😘🤌

Miley’s new song ~ love it too 😘🤌

Bashing scar girl (iykyk)~ WHO GIVES A FUCK??? Like we know let her be

Grwm~ yo I use love grwm when I was younger still do but it use be so chill and relatable. recently out of nowhere some 13 young girl popped in my fyp doing a grwm and omg this younger generation either A) grew up rich or middle class B) being young and relatable has changed and now it’s being 13 about to afford expensive skincare and products / tools.

Soccer players ~ we all know they are attractive we get it

BFFR ~ BE FUCKING FOR REAL

Period (miss use of aave)~ it’s so cringe when ppl do this lmaoo funny how aave is trendy but looked in a negative connotation of a black person uses it.

Bad bunny throwing phones ~ Omg 😳 in my opinion he doesn’t like being treated at a celebrity and or wants to be respect don’t just go up ppl with your phone in their face ask first

Yt ppl learning how to bath properly~ BFFR

Nurses having mental breakdown ( I think that’s just my fyp tho) ~ the health care system in America suck ass and not only is it hard for patients but the workers

gentrification in nyc ~ bro it’s called the city that don’t sleep for a reason you can’t just complain about every noise you hear move out it’s not as romanticize as you think it is

Gentrification in PR 🇵🇷 : GET OUT GRINGOS 🤬

Yt ppl taking random ethnic goods : it’s giving Christopher Columbus pt 2

Realistic food candle wax : please stop I’m begging 🧎‍♀️

Benito with that Arizona girl ~ lmaooo good for her Irdc

Anything pregnant and newborn - I’m so scared … terrified even

Fear of aging ~ idk as 23 I’m stuck in between.

Ice spice ~ 🔥🔥 love her

Brad mondo/ butterfly cut ~ give okay tips there’s so many hairstylist better then him btw the butterfly cut is a lot similar to the unicorn cut that manes by Mel made

Cleaning tik tok ~ so satisfying

Cooking tiktok ~🥰😘🤌

#tik tok trends ✨#text post

9 notes · View notes

female-malice · 1 year

Text

I try to tell myself it's just the shape of their face and I'm just anthropomorphizing gibbons. And they're not actually sad.

But we're distant cousins. And we're evolved to read the faces of apes, aren't we?

Maybe gibbons really are sad! Depressed! It haunts me! 😭

Most of the high quality gibbon photography is of gibbons in captivity. And their enclosures look nice. But I'm sure it's never enough.

Imagine being a god of the canopy. And you can swing across an entire forest in under an hour. And the forest is constantly growing and changing and shifting. And there's always some new obstacle for you to challenge yourself with.

And then you wake up from that wonderful dream and you're in your enclosure. And all you can do is swing in circles while the hairless human apes watch you from behind the glass. And you think maybe some of them should be able to understand that things aren't right. And it's such a complex stream of thoughts and ideas and emotions you want to communicate with them. So you open your mouth and sing your stream-of-consciousness scream song at them just like you do every day. And some of the humans respond. But you can see in their eyes that they don't quite understand.

And then there's your human handler who you've loved your entire life. Your human shares food with you and grooms you and never asks for anything in return. They do this for the other gibbons, too. But you know you're the best gibbon and your clever human surely understands this.

But even though you are the best gibbon, your human is always leaving. Maybe if you could find food in the canopy to share with your human, they wouldn't leave so much. But no matter how many times you circle the canopy in your enclosure, you never find food up there. You don't even know what canopy food looks like or how to find it. You just instinctually know that if only you had more canopy to explore, you would find food to share.

Every day before your human leaves, they give you a kind look and make some kind sounds. You know your human understands you. But you can also sense that they're just as sad as you are. And with sad eyes and sad sighs, your human communicates that they're stuck in some kind of enclosure, too.

And of course, years ago, you were in your human's enclosure. That was the greatest adventure of your life. And you still think about it every day. You remember being sick. You were in the strange bright caves and then in the box. And then the vibrating and humming. And finally you were in your human's enclosure. Everything smelled like your human. Your human's tiny canopy was full of all kinds of incredible things.

There was some conflict with the human over the bitter seeds they were trying to trick you into eating. You feel like you won that game by spitting the seeds out every time. But your human is pretty clever. You may have accidentally swallowed as many seeds as you spit out.

You didn't like that game so much but you loved exploring your human's canopy. There were so many shapes, colors, textures, and lights. And so many great games to play. You could toss everything from the canopy and your human would go find it and pick it up. Incredible game.

For several days, your human never left. You began to feel like maybe this would be the new normal. But then your sickness passed. And you were back in the vibrating box and back to your own enclosure. Your human stopped playing that bitter seed game with you and they started leaving again. The human's enclosure was strange and small and not suitable for apes at all. You don't understand why your human doesn't just stay in your enclosure instead.

Your enclosure is big. It's the perfect temperature and it's full of vibrant young plants. Your gibbon family is there. Your unimpressive gibbon boyfriend who you don't mate with is there, too. He can't even find his own food and neither can you. So you're definitely not ready for a baby. But your dumb sister doesn't think these things through. So she started mating with your unimpressive boyfriend. You made a show of ignoring her for a while after that but you honestly don't really care. Except maybe you care a lot because now your pregnant sister is getting a lot of attention from your human.

Well, damn.

#gibbon diaries #cc

4 notes · View notes

createsketchbookscf · 1 day

Text

Virtual Sketchbook #2

JOURNALING

Variety in art keeps things fresh by changing up what type of techniques are used. By doing so this stop things from looking the same or feeling bland. I see variety in my everyday life in many things. One example would be what I have for breakfast. I like to change it up everyday to not get bored of eating the same thing.

Balance in art is how the visual weight shapes the artwork. You can change the feeling of the piece depending on the balance. If you go for a more symmetrical things with look more even and light. If you use more of an asymmetrical approach this could make the piece feel heavy and off putting.

The Ghent Altarpiece by Van Eyck is a good example of balance. We see symmetrical balance being used in here. It has a mirrored look that brings your eyes up to the goat and the sun.

Unity in art is when everything works together. It has a harmony between the colors to the textures and even the shapes that are all consistent with each other. An example that I can see this being in everyday life is cooking. Even though you have so many different elements you can find a way to combine them to create one cohesive and consistent outcome.

Emphasis in art is when it's made to lead your eye in the direction the artists wants by creating a focal point. This is possible by using placement, lines, colors, and sizes to catch your eye.

Simeon's Song of Praise by Rembrandt is a good example on emphasis. He uses color to highlight where he wants your eyes to be drawn too. Showing the importance of their new child

Repetition in art is when you want to use the same techniques in your piece to give consistency and reinforce your theme. This could be done with lines, colors, and shapes.

Marilyn Diptych by Andy Warhol is an example of this. You see elements repeating through out the piece. This lets the theme of Marilyn Monroe stay consistent

Scale in art is then the artist changes the size of an object. This can help your piece look more realistic by having accurate sizes of objects around. Or this could emphasize emotion or draw your attention by changing the shape. It's all about manipulating proportions to give the effect you want. Mount Rushmore would be a real world example. Showing significance and important in these people from the size they were sculpted.

WRITING AND LOOKING

The Last Supper by Enrique Cabrera and Leonardo da Vinci

From the horizon line of the table this gives a feeling of them being more forward. This with the variety of shapes being used makes this piece pleasing to look at. He does this with the rectangles on the back and sides of the wall to give more depth and consistency. Jesus himself is in a triangle shape in the middle of the image and the only person wearing red. This is a use of emphasis for a viewer to focus on Jesus in the middle. There's also a use a balance in the painting. He used symmetrical balance to keep you focused in the middle on the piece.

CONNECTING ART TO YOUR WORLD

Color is a big decider in what I wear and purchase throughout my day. Recently I've only been wearing hues of black and blue since that is what most of my wardrobe consists of at this moment. But I want to expand my options by purchasing clothing that have values that are more saturated in color. I recently purchased an intense hue of red jacket that I'm looking forward to wearing. The right hue even decides what foods I sometimes get. The more saturated the packaging or the item itself is. The more I consider purchasing it. If I had to pick a color scheme for my life it would be blue and black.

ART PROJECT – ARTIST’S CHOICE

PHOTO/DESIGN

Group 4: INTERACTIVE DESIGN

Interactive design allows for users to engage with the product. Making it match more to what the user wants.

Top Five Interactive Designs, According to me

*Spotify https://open.spotify.comLinks to an external site.

*YouTube https://www.youtube.comLinks to an external site.

*Instagram https://www.instagram.comLinks to an external site.

*Google Maps https://www.google.com/mapsLinks to an external site.

*Wordle https://www.nytimes.com/games/wordle/index.htmlLinks to an external site.

My favorite interactive design out of these options is Spotify. A good interactive design to me is when the app or website can learn what you enjoy and recommend similar things to you. This keeps you entertained and shows you things you might have never seen without this feature. The intent of Spotify is to give users access to music and podcasts, with also allowing you to personalize many aspects of your account to for better enjoyment. It has fulfilled its purpose. By giving custom made playlists fitting to your wants and free access to their library of entertainment for users. This is why Spotify is my favorite interactive design.

0 notes

onebluejey · 10 months

Text

When I say ‘I wish I could be more creative’ I mean it weird. From the outside, I am. I go to art school for fuck’s sake. Art of all kinds is such a huge part of my life and who I am. And I know I'm good at it. Great, even. I’m great at drawing. I'm great at painting. At writing. At crafting. I'm pretty okay at guitar. I think I can sing (I know I can) (I'm good) (I'm just too dysphoric about my singing voice to ever use it) I am surrounded by art at all times (art school, remember) (bookshelf is an entire wall) (majority of floor space in my room is covered art supplies and half-finished projects (I’ll never finish them) (fuck, I want to) I am Always listening to music (its own whole thing) (I’ll get back to that)

But I can’t help but feel like a fraud. Not in the usual sense. Not in the ‘I’m not talented enough to belong here, to have my work shown at this level’ (of course, I do feel that. We all do. But I’m talking about something else) I can do nothing without some kind of reference. ‘Working from imagination’ is not something I’ve Ever been good at, even as a kid. I want to. I really do. It’s frustrating as hell to want to draw, to paint, to write, to make something, but have absolutely no idea as to what or how. I know I have an imagination. A very good one at that (by that I mean I can visualize 2D and 3D objects in full color, texture, and detail. When I have music in my head, it is in the original singer’s voice with full instrumentation) If I were to have an idea, I could perfectly visualize it. Fully render it. But there is no idea. There never is. I feel like I must be broken in some way. God, I want to Create. Not just copy. The problem is, that doesn’t seem like the kind of skill you can learn. God, I want to learn.

And the most obvious and most frustrating example is music. My relationship with music is something so complicated that I still don’t fully understand it myself. It has to do with the neurodivergency, I’m sure, but I’ve never met anyone like me. I Always have music in my head. Always. As far back as I can remember. Until recently, I thought everyone did. And in full detail, as I mentioned previously, which I also believed was a universal experience until recently. Typically, it’s just a short clip, repeating endlessly until it switches to another song. It can be distracting. Because of this, and maybe because of other things (who knows) I am actively listening to music at most times. Almost always if I’m out doing anything. If I can control the music, if I can make it full songs, and have those songs constantly changing, I can think more clearly, pay better attention. (People have a hard time understanding that) (I have a hard time explaining it/convincing them) It fills up the pattern seeking part of my brain, which lets me do things other than search for patterns.

This would be fine, but for the part where it stops me from creating music of my own (at least I think it’s that) (God, I hope it’s that) (otherwise it’s back to the problem from two paragraphs up) (and that possibility hurts more) (hurts a lot actually) I want to be in a band. I’m perfectly happy playing someone else’s music. (Really! I am!) (it’s more about the playing Song with friends than it being My song) I don’t want to be the main guy (be that frontman or prime writer/lyricist) But I would like to make my own shit. I’d love to write music. I have no idea how anyone writes music. My head is too filled with melodies to make a new one. Lyrics are their own problem as well. I don’t know what the fuck I Could write about. I’m aroace. That knocks out a lot. I’m not fucked up enough to write about that either. Shit hasn’t been easy, but it’s never been That Bad. And I’m good now. No angst, no feeling of inferiority or of not being enough (for someone, for myself, for life, etc.) I’m happy! I’m doing well! I don’t have anything to say. I don’t know what I’d want to say. I feel like I could work on lyrics with someone else, like I could edit and add on and shit, but I don’t have someone else, at least not yet. And I’d still feel like I couldn’t take the credit because the Ideas wouldn’t be mine. And I am a firm believer in cringe is dead, but I feel like anything I’d come up with would be pretentious bullshit, and/or shit that makes things seem worse than they are. I don’t want to sell a false version of the tortured artist. I want to write lyrics. I want to write poetry. I want to write. But I have nothing. I want to learn. I don’t know how. I don’t know if I can. God, I want to.

When I say ‘I wish I could be more creative’, I put the emphasis on the ‘could’, because I can’t help but feel like I can’t.

#<]:)

0 notes

dream-beyond-the-fantasy · 10 months

Note

OC questions for Alyssa: 2, 3, 11, 18. Thanks!

Finally answering OC asks from this ask meme. Sorry for taking so long, MissV!

2. What are your OC’s food preferences (flavors/textures/spiciness/calories/ when and how they eat) and how did they get that way?

Alyssa likes spicy foods, having both a Latine background and living most of her life in the Southeast. But she does have limits. She also has a major sweet tooth. But if something has strawberries, real or artificial flavoring, she will avoid it like the plague due to her allergy. It can be hard to get her to eat some fresh fruits and vegetables because of the texture and weirdness of wet and crunchy/crispness. Alyssa doesn't care about how many calories a food has.

3. What’s something pointless/petty/unimportant that IRRATIONALLY ANNOYS THE HELL out of your OC?

You don't talk during movies or TV shows, especially when it's a first viewing/in the theater. Commentary is acceptable on subsequent viewings if it doesn't detract from the enjoyment of the story. Clanging serving utensils against the container or pot because the food sticks to it. Alyssa understands, but the sound is grating. Electrical humming in an otherwise quiet room. Talking with one's mouth full or eating loudly.

11. What song is 100% guaranteed to get your OC beyond turnt and will be sung loudly and embarrassingly, either in public or the shower?

Alyssa is susceptible to doing this with most of her favorite 80s songs or the occasional Spice Girls song. It was very hard to keep this part of her secret from Jimmy and his family. But some of the songs are "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey, "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins, "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper, "I Love Rock 'N Roll" by Joan Jett, and "I Get Excited" by Rick Springfield.

18. What’s the trashiest item in your OC’s wardrobe, when was the last time they wore it and why do they still have it?

Probably these tops. She has only worn them once each because Jimmy flipped out when he saw her wearing them, making her either put on a jacket or go upstairs to change. He didn't want guys of all ages sexualizing his teenage daughter. She does still have them, but only because she got her dad to compromise. Alyssa may only wear them after she turns 18 and not at school. Or, in the case of the colorful top, Alyssa can wear it over a bikini top at the beach or pool prior to her eighteenth birthday.

#answering asks #replies #missviolethunter #oc characterization questions #oc questions #alyssa morgan #never knew #my oc #emptying drafts

0 notes

ribbithe8 · 1 year

Text

2022 Music Highlights

I know I look like I exclusively listen to Kpop based on my Kpop writeup/s but that’s because I just run out of steam by the time I’ve finished them… so I neglect to write about the other music I listen to �� I am not only Kpop/popular music listener!!! Actually outside of Kpop, I listen to a lot of niche music… Whenever I check Obscurify I always get 99%+ more obscure than the rest of US listeners SLKDFJDSLKFJ.

Gonna try to organize this by general genre/artist so hopefully you can find new music to listen to ^o^

Experimental, Indie Pop

Blood Cultures

Shout out to my coworker for introducing me to Blood Cultures… while I’m not into their entire discography, the songs that I do enjoy have me by the neck…

Best for You

youtube

Best For You is probably my favorite song of 2022, period T___TT at first I thought it was just pleasant but the more I looped it the more I could not stop… It has such a dreamy surreal quality to it that it automatically helps me relax. It feels emotional, cathartic, full, and lush all at once. As for the lyrics, even though they’re kind of muffled by the instrumental, I like that they carry a lot of emotion and longing… I think if I had listened to this in college I wouldn’t have seen the appeal, but now as my music taste has matured I’ve discovered I do like psychedelic soundscapes. Anywho my coworker sent it to me in February and I listened to it pretty much every week of 2022, and still am listening to it! How’s that for staying power.

Phospholipid

youtube

Phospholipid is another of my favorites!! It’s entrancing and relaxing, and there’s not a single section of the song I don’t like. When the part at 1:03 kicks in it’s perfection, but then the guitar that kicks in at 1:23 is pure bliss. And then the electronic part at 2:23 is also great too… I just really enjoy this song and its pulsing textures lol

Wednesday Campanella

Not really sure where to put Wedcamp since even though they do a lot of EDM, it feels more experimental… so I will put them here. I feel like Wedcamp is a little hard to classify/discuss since there’s a significant difference in their sound pre-KOM_I leaving and now, with their current vocalist Utaha. Their music definitely sounds more poppy now to match Utaha’s “cuter” and lusher vocal color, but still retains some of their earlier quirkiness. If anything I wish I was fluent in Japanese so I could fully appreciate all the wordplay in their lyrics.

Alice

youtube

Waaaaah Alice T_T Another huge stand out in music I found in 2022…! I’ve been obsessed with this song since first listen. I love Utaha’s voice and how rich it is, especially in this song. The entire structure of this song is pretty unique I think… the edm drop/break is sandwiched between the chorus and second verse, when usually it’s the first part of the chorus or used as a bridge. My favorite part of Alice is from 1:38 to 2:27… IT’S PURE BLISS!!!!! The steady beat, Utaha’s gorgeous singing style, the woowoo awoo awoo part with the added guitar layer, and the quirky whistling… so so addictive. If you watch some of Utaha’s performances on The First Take, you can really see and hear the joy in her voice as she sings… she’s having fun singing and performing ;__;

Orihime

youtube

ORIHIME IS SOOOOO GOOD the beat is infectious, and I love how it changes things up constantly throughout the song. It starts off sounding like a pretty normal catchy pop song, but then you hit the rap break/chorus(?) that’s jarring at first, but actually slaps……

Now onto KOM_I Wedcamp songs!

Aladdin

youtube

Aladdin is musical perfection. Like, just listen to the intro. If you aren’t sold on the song by the intro alone then who are you even… This song just makes you want to groove!!!! It feels like disco and aquatic at the same time… KOM_I’s singing style has a wispy air to it but is super expressive in this song, it’s the cherry on top to a FANTASTIC, dense, full of life instrumental. The instrumental break at 2:43 to 3:13 is 🤯

Melos

youtube

Holy shit this song. Melos is gorgeous, both the MV (shot in Mongolia) and song. That jazzy, stripped back intro is pure bliss…… however I do wish the chorus had kept the same style as the rest of the song lol. The edm shift and future bass drop is a bit jarring and I honestly haven’t adjusted to it as warmly as I have with Orihime, BUT that doesn’t detract from the work of art Melos is. And Wedcamp is experimental for a reason.

Seraph - DPR IAN

youtube

Idk if I should categorize Ian as experimental pop/indie but hmm.. I think this song kinda fits the bill? It’s very. How do I describe it. It feels transcendent and almost religious. This song caught me so off guard when I heard it in teasers for the first time, I could not stop looping it. I’m still in awe of it, and I think it outshines every other song on the album LOL. Like it starts off so minimalist and atmospheric, with some violins, gradually layering on electronic sounds and what sounds so much like Tuvan throat singing. It feels hypnotizing, and then suddenly as Ian starts actually singing, the instrumental erupts like a cathartic release…like you’re ascending to the heavens… THIS SONG IS SO GOOD. The layering and production and everything…

珂拉琪 (Collage)

Collage was such a pleasant surprise on my Discover Weekly playlist… I am niche music liker so finding a really good Taiwanese band that sings in Amis (Taiwanese indigenous language) as well as Taiwanese and Japanese all in the same song/s makes me 🤩 I think their style is kinda pop-rocky with some jazz/folk elements?

MALIYANG

youtube

Maliyang feels more like straightforward popular music with some acoustic/folk elements compared to some of their other stuff. It starts out in Japanese then changes to Amis. Natsuko (the female vocalist) sounds great here.

youtube

TORATORAW

Toratoraw sounds more unique I think. I love the kinda raspy delivery of the first lines…

L’enfer - Stromae

youtube

Ok I know Stromae isn’t indie but I didn’t want to make an entire section that’s just “French” and have only this song ALKJDFKLSJF. I think L’enfer is experimental… this song is breathtaking musically on its own. But then when you read the lyrics, it hits so much harder. I think I cried the first time I listened to it while reading the lyrics… it’s so powerful. The electronic drops throughout the song go hard, but they also really convey the feeling of internal torment and pain that depression and suicidal ideation can bring. Just… man. This song makes you feel despair, empathy, pain… Stromae is a musical genius to me…

Moody…? Chinese Music

I don’t really know how to group these songs lol but they’re all kinda slower or more emotional than my other music…

不算經常但是偶爾 - GONG

youtube

Oh my god… this song is probably my favorite GONG song since I heard 劫 (Inhibition). There’s something about the soft instrumental and his emotional voice that transports me to another place… I’m so happy this song is 6 minutes long too because I could listen to this for 24 hours straight and not get sick of it… it’s so beautiful… even though I like his hip hop inspired tracks too, his more experimental ambient songs are my favorite T_T His voice is just so fitted for them

完美天氣 - 李桑野 ft. NINEONE#

youtube

I love how atmospheric and mellow this song is :’) Also really like the vocal effects during the chorus.

再也沒有 - Ryan.B, AY杨佬叁

youtube

Love how emotional and smooth this song is. It’s very sentimental/has a regretful feeling to it… You can feel such raw emotion during the chorus when he sings 我再也沒有對你生氣.

終究還是因為愛 - TRASH

youtube

Yooooo Taiwan (Mandarin) rock + edm????!!! Sign me up. I really enjoy this song…很好聽

Ok less moody Chinese songs now.

羞花 - 音阙诗听, 王梓钰

youtube

I listen to a lot of 音阙诗听’s music since it’s traditional but with a modern twist so it feels a little poppy… this one feels a little more modern than some of their other songs and it’s so catchy. Her voice is really sweet too.

地球逃离计划 - 江迟同学

youtube

I really love the mood of this song T_T!!! It feels a little old-school like songs I’d listen to in the mid-2000s, it puts me in a good mood… I also really like the rap combined with the refreshing acoustic-ish vibe.

Electronic

I realize “electronic” is very broad but I dunno how else to categorize this music lol… admittedly the majority of what I listen to is edm-adjacent.

Sakana uo Sakana (bakui)

LOVE LOVE LOVE bakui’s work… I feel so blessed my mutual retweeted a clip of IESIAS onto my TL and I happened to unmute the video. As someone who used to be super into Vocaloid, I think their music would appeal to a lot of Vocaloid listeners…? Their work has a very nostalgic, kind of video gamey, retro/VHS (at times) atmosphere that’s both relaxing and enthralling at once. Paired with their incredible animations it transports you into another world… What’s most impressive about their work is that they’re the sole creator for all their videos/work, they animate all their videos along with producing the music. All the characters and stories depicted in their videos are their own. It’s really incredible storytelling. You can learn more about their OCs here on their site.

IESIAS

youtube

Here’s IESIAS!!!!! I feel like this animation paired with the song injected dopamine straight into my veins. It’s just SOOOO COOL… The way that the animation is timed with the music, the hypnotic and kind of psychedelic trippy effects, the bold colors… so so so cool. I was obsessed with this video last March and still am. It also reminds me a bit of indie horror games–not exactly PS1 graphics aesthetic but almost? If you keep up with indie horror game releases you know what I mean.

Man rewatching this video right now, it still gives me chills. IT’S JUST SO SICK!!!!!!! Goddamn!!! If you want to buy this track to support bakui, you can check out their bandcamp!

THINGS SO FAR

youtube

THINGS SO FAR is actually my favorite song from bakui, though only barely… Personally I like the piano ver. of it even more, but both versions are amazing. This one has more of a nostalgic, wistful, and tragic element to it compared to IESIAS’s fast-paced energy. Listening to THINGS SO FAR makes me feel like I’m entering a dreamlike environment in a retro video game… Anyways here’s the piano ver. on Spotify:

Aiobahn

Aiobahn isn’t a new artist for me since I discovered him in 2019, but I haven’t been connecting to his recent work as much… until I found Needy Streamer Overload! I didn’t even realize he was the producer for the OST until after I watched ManlyBadassHero’s lp of it… It sounds really different from his usual style but it’s soooo so good. My fav tracks from the game:

Desire for Approval

youtube

Sounds like normal peppy 8-bit at first… but then if you wait a bit, you get hit with that massive SICK beat drop. Like holy shit the beat drop goes so hard 😭 Head-banging… I can’t believe this was hidden in the innocuous cute menu theme…If you were too quick to start or load the game you would miss out entirely on the best part of the song

No Salvation, No Angels

youtube

Ok this one isn’t actually EDM but I’m grouping it here because it’s part of the same OST… it’s such a melancholic/resigned piano piece. It’s probably my favorite in the ost after Desire For Approval…

Mawaru Kagami (Mirror Ball) - Perfume

youtube

Yeah ok Perfume isn’t niche but I need to include Mawaru Kagami here… I haven’t fiercely loved a Perfume song in so long but when I heard Mawaru Kagami for the first time I was awestruck ;__; It reminds me of the first time I listened to Spending All My Time in 2013 and Tokyo Girl in 2017… I felt like Nakata kinda fell off ever since Future Pop era (with some exceptions like Let Me Know and Saisei) but DAMN he redeemed himself solely with this song. Mawaru Kagami’s synths and atmosphere feel very reminiscent of older Perfume, while still having some of their more recent sound. I sent this to my coworker who likes old Perfume discog (like Game and Triangle) and she approved of it lol.

New Genesis - Ado (prod. Yasutaka Nakata)

youtube

The first time I listened to New Genesis I somehow wasn’t that taken with it… fast forward like a month, I overheard it at AX at the One Piece booth, and it got stuck in my head… now I wholeheartedly love it T_T The prechorus builds up so much momentum and then the chorus really blows it out of the water… The synths are so good and really pulse and strike at you… and of course Ado’s voice is insane in this. I personally like Ado singing more melodic poppy stuff like this than her other releases so this is very up my alley :> And this lines up with my sentiment of Nakata really upping his game in 2022 LOL

manimani - r-906

youtube

THE BASS IN THIS GOES SOOOOOO HARD. I love the flourishes of traditional instruments throughout the song too. This is a Miku song but it’s largely just a sick instrumental song. Despite that, the vocal/melodic parts that are sprinkled throughout the song still shine on their own too.

nightshift - Kurubukko

youtube

This is a very ambient bgm song… it’s very calming and nice to have on in the background when you’re working or focusing on stuff I think. Calming repetition and all.

Never Alone - Yuta Imai

youtube

YEAHHHH HARDSTYLE EDM this song goes so hard. I really like listening to it while I’m driving or working…

Scared - SABAI

youtube

Honestly this is a pretty basic edm song but the house beat with the vocal chops drop is muah 👩‍🍳💋

Heartbreak Anthem - Galantis, David Guetta, & Little Mix

youtube

I usually listen to the local LGBTQ radio station if I don’t use my phone’s bluetooth when I’m driving, since I like house/club music. And this one caught my attention! I don’t typically listen to any of these artists but I do appreciate David Guetta’s house stuff from time to time… This song is just very satisfying and Little Mix sounds great here. (I don’t listen to them usually idk what they sound like in other songs lol)

K-Indie

My Ceiling Disappeared - Stella Jang

youtube

I call myself Stella Jang fan but I feel kinda 🙈 that I didn’t find this song until 2022… It’s so quaint and relaxing. Lovely little song…

Yeah - TRPP

youtube

Yeahhhhhh shoegaze!!! I dunno if I can consider myself into shoegaze officially just yet but I really love Yeah by TRPP. The repeating “Yeah, yeah, yeah” is mesmerizing. The only thing I dislike is how short this song is and how abruptly it ends :(

Retro (City Pop, 80’s Synthpop, etc.)

I listen to a lot of retro-inspired music (this will come as no surprise to anyone who knows my music taste) so I’m just piling them in this section lol even if they also count as K-Indie

Drive - Kim Areum

youtube

HELLLLLLOOOO THAT INTRO the sparkling sounds, the bits of synths, bits of house, THE SAXOPHONE? Oh my goodness. Those first 30 seconds sold me already. Kim Areum’s voice is also really pleasant and perfectly complements the city pop vibe of this song. This song is magical and great for night drives.

Waves - Glen Check

youtube

Oh my goooooooooodddddddddddd when this song came on when I was listening to Glen Check’s new album I think my eyes widened… it makes me feel so nostalgic. The instrumental that kicks in at 1:08 is 😭😭😭😭😭😇🙏🙏🙏🤲 BLISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to listen to this while driving down the coast with the windows open….

Modern Romance - Satellite Young

youtube

It’s hard to believe this song released in 2017 because it sounds exactly like a 1980s song with a dash of city pop… Seriously such a good, catchy song.

Suraqtar - Ninety One

youtube

Even though Ninety One released a house/retro track in 2021 (Darn), I didn’t actually expect them to follow up with a full blown 80s synthpop song????!! I was so surprised hearing this for the first time. IT’S SO CATCHY and satisfying, I definitely looped this a ton the month it came out…

LMLY - Jackson Wang

youtube

Such a good 80’s song… I don’t really listen to Jackson’s stuff but I think his smooth kinda restrained sounding voice works well for the sentiment of this song.

Strip - w-inds.

youtube

I don’t listen to a lot of male Jpop groups so Strip was a really pleasant surprise, I feel like the groovy funky sound isn’t suuuuuper popular with boy bands in Japan? I guess these guys have a leg up since they’re older and in their late 30s LOL. The chorus in this is sooooo groovy it’s so good T_T

Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order

youtube

Hahahaha you weren’t expecting an actual 80’s song here were you. I also heard this on the LGBTQ radio station and thought, “Wow this slaps”. It’s so groovy…

Mayonaka no Door - Miki Matsubara

youtube

Another genuine 80s song :~) I think Mayonaka no Door may actually be better than Plastic Love, but both songs are wonderful… I just love how she sings this song. Stay with meeeeee~~

J-Music

Uhhhhh. I guess these are Jpop but not quite? 🤷‍♀️

Violet - NORTH

youtube

I really really like this song!!!! I love the infectious guitar that continues throughout the song and the chorus feels so refreshing… The bridge and last chorus are both so satisfying too.

Make a wish - color-code

youtube

Peaceful comforting song 🥹 it really makes me feel hopeful!!!

INU-HIME - Queen Bee

youtube

I actually didn’t click with this song on first listen, I remember watching the mv excitedly because Kenjiro Tsuda is in it ALKJASDFJKSLDJF but I heard it again recently and was really taken with it… I love traditional-inspired music and woooow Queen Bee knocked this one out of the park. It’s both catchy and mesmerizing… I LOVE THE VOCAL EFFECTS DURING THE PRECHORUS, that segment is so hypnotizing.

花時雨 - Qyoto

youtube

This song feels so nostalgic like a 2000s anime song LOL. I’m genuinely surprised it was released in 2019 because it sounds like a 2007 anime ending slkdfjdslkfj… it’s peaceful.

I love you in anyway - Takayan

youtube

Pretty much any Takayan song is guaranteed to be good but this one really caught my attention… I just really like it T u T the prechorus and chorus are powerful, catchy, and satisfying… Um also crying I haven’t actually seen the video for this until now alkjaskdjf I didn’t realize he dressed up to sing along to it (even though I know this is his shtick). King shit

Simple - BBHF

youtube

Like its namesake, this song keeps it simple and great. Two of the members are from Galileo Galilei and I think you can hear it… the relaxing guitar…

#ribbith txt

1 note · View note

love-heretic · 2 years

Text

Bibliotheca: A Very Literal Translation of the Masoretic Text of the Bible

I recently received a copy of Bibliotheca from Speakeasy. It is a translation of the New Testament called the American Literary Version (ALV). “Bibliotheca” literally means “a collection of books” and that is truly what all Bibles are. While I received the New Testament portion of this collection, the full Bibliotheca is a boxed series of five books: The Five Books of Moses & the Former Prophets, The Latter Prophets, The Writings (this would include Psalms, Proverbs, Song of Songs, Lamentations, and others), The Apocrypha, and the Christian writings of the New Testament.

The hard cover book is bound in a beautiful ivory-colored cotton cloth. Unfortunately, I noticed as I took it out of the box, that the outside of the book smudges easily. It also cleaned up easily though. The book has a good “feel” to it---from the texture of the cotton cover to the inner pages, which feel thinner than the average book page, but also stronger. According to a promo I read about the book, the acid-free mineral pages are made with limestone chalk instead of wood pulp. The binding is closely stitched, the book opens out flat, and a beautiful sewn-in cloth bookmark completes it. In all, the book virtually shouts “quality.”

I am told that this book debuts a new typeface known as “Katharos” which is designed for more comfortable reading. But I truthfully didn’t notice anything distinctive or different in the font. One of the first things I noticed as I opened the book to get a “feel” for it is that it properly puts poetry in a form that enables one to immediately recognize it as poetry and not narrative, which many Bibles fail to do. This makes a difference when you are trying to figure out “what does this mean?”

The first thing that most people will notice about this version is that there are no headings, no chapter or verse numbers, no marginalia, and no footnote references. I find that it rather helps the reading. There are no stops or pauses in one’s thoughts as the eye moves over the page and it feels more like reading a novel, or a newspaper, or a book of poetry.

The ALV began as a light revision (changing “thee,” “thou,” and “thy) of the American Standard Version (ASV) of 2016. But as the Bibliotheca received more funding, the updating became more in-depth. The ASV, NKJV, and ESV claim to be very literal, but they are not as literal as they claim to be. They often change the literal translation in order to create a more readable version for modern readers. However, as readability increases, much of the literal meaning of the text is lost. The ALV gives a more literal reading of the original Greek or Hebrew than those texts. The reviews that I read indicated that it impinged somewhat upon the readability of this version, but so far, I have not found this to be true.

For an example of how ALV differs from other very literal versions, let’s take a look at Philippians 1:27. The NASB and NKJV translate it as “Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ . . .” ESV translates it as “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ. . . “The word for those portions that are emboldened above, literally translates as “live as a citizen.” Philippi was a Roman city where many retired Roman military veterans lived. It was a city that had a fervent nationalistic pride. Philippian Christians may have been likely to think of themselves as Roman citizens rather than as citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven. The ALV, however, gives us a more literal translation: “Only behave worthily as citizens of the good tidings of the Christ…” It thus encourages them (as well as us) to see our citizenship in terms of the gospel of Jesus Christ, not as citizens of Rome in the first century C.E. and not as citizens of whatever country we live in today. Our primary citizenship is in the Kingdom of G*d.

Translations can affect theology. For example, in the KJV, Jude 4 reads, “For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation. . ..” And ESV reads, “For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation. . ..” Both of these translations would appear to support Calvinism. The more literal ALV translates it as “For certain men crept in secretly, those who were of old written of beforehand to this condemnation . . . “This translation does NOT sound like certain individuals were pre-ordained to condemnation, but only that it was written of beforehand that some would be reprobates.

I only received the Christian scriptures (New Testament) to review, not the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) and I am neither a Hebrew nor Greek scholar, but my research on the ALV indicates that when translating the Hebrew Scriptures it is much more likely than the ESV, NKJV, NASB, or any other translation to rely on the Masoretic text than the Septuagint, even when there is reason to believe that the Septuagint is the more reliable. So, we must say that the ALV is a literal translation of the Masoretic text. Since the books seem to be loosely divided according to the standard Jewish ordering, I suspect the MT is used because it is the version used in Jewish translations of the Hebrew Scriptures.

In all, I must say that this is a beautiful, quality Bible and would recommend it for your reading and study. Be aware of its biases but, in all, I recommend it.

You can go to https://www.instagram.com/bibliothecaco/ and https://www.bibliotheca.co/ for more information about this translation, if desired. Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the author and/or publisher through the Speakeasy blogging book review network. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

#BibliothecaNewTestament #Bible #literaltranslation #Masoretictext

0 notes

mypoisonedvine · 2 years

Text

𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐟***𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 | soft!dark/yandere John Tyler x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: John's dreaming of a chance to relive some of his favorite Christmas memories— and maybe make some new ones— but his picture perfect family holiday is still missing the most important part: a family. that's where you come in.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: just under 10k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut (DUBCON and NONCON, this is a dark fic and john tyler is a very bad person— softer here than canon, but still very bad), kidnapping/stalking, manipulation, yandere vibes, amnesia, mommy issues, breeding kink, very awkward uncomfortable sex, painful sex/pain kink, overuse of classic christmas songs, nonlinear timeline

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: thank you @trelaney for being a sounding board, proofreader, and enabler for this fic!!

December 19

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know…

You stirred, struggling against the heavy weight that kept your eyelids shut. You crinkled your nose and brow when you couldn't seem to shake it off, and when you turned your face to the side, you were surprised to feel the texture of velvet beneath your cheek.

You got your eyes open just enough to get one clear image: a house, one that you didn't recognize, with a fireplace just across from you and two stockings hanging over it.

You assumed the twinkling green blur in the corner of your eye was a tree before your eyes fell shut again.

Writhing around a little, you found that your whole body was heavy and dense— and draped in a wooly blanket.

Where the treetops glisten, and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow…

When you managed to get your eyes open again, time must’ve passed; you couldn’t be sure how long, but the song had ended, and the record that had been playing it was spinning while the needle was stuck at the center, playing a repeating loop of static.

A figure emerged from the corner of the room, taking the needle off and setting it on the hook.

He turned and stared down at you; his face changed when he saw you fighting to keep your eyes open and look up at him.

“Oh, you’re up,” he realized as he knelt down beside the couch you were laying on. “God, I was so worried about you… did you get enough rest? Did you have nice dreams?”

He reached up and ran his hand over your hair, stroking the top of your head, and you blink back at him in confusion. You could almost place him…

"...John?" you mumbled blankly.

He wrinkled his brow. "Uh, yeah…?"

Realization seemed to dawn on him at the same time that you were more confused than ever.

"Do you not remember me, sweetie?" he asked softly.

"N-no, I remember you— you came into the bakery…" you answered as you searched your mind for that day, his face across the register from you— you could recall little details like the pink box he'd been holding when he left, the color of his checkered button-up shirt… but you couldn't put together much more than that. And it was a distant memory; it felt like ages ago.

He let out a slow sigh. “Dr. Barlow warned me this might happen…”

You tilted your head slightly, but he reached out to stop you.

“Hey, careful, you might still be sore,” he warned. “You hit your head pretty hard… the hospital discharged you, said you would be fine, but… apparently this kind of thing can occur, brain injuries are sort of random.”

You furrowed your brow, darting your eyes over his face. The wrinkles around his eyes and on his forehead, the gray intermingling with black in his hair, seemed so much older than the way his gaze fell on you or how his smile tilted. “I hit my head?”

“Yeah, last night. You’ve been asleep since 11 and it’s almost noon,” he chuckled. “I’ll be honest, I was starting to worry, but I figured you needed your rest.”

You shifted slightly on the couch beneath you, feeling like you’d been dropped right into the middle of something, with no idea of the beginning and no way to guess the end.

“Do you… really not remember anything since the day we met?” he breathed, looking a little terrified when you nodded. “Oh… okay, it’s… a little worse than I thought, but that’s okay. Dr. Barlow said the memories usually start to come back over time…”

He scratched the back of his neck nervously as he looked away. “What happened since then?” you asked, despite being almost afraid of the answer. How much time had you lost?

“After we met at your bakery, I couldn’t stop coming back once I’d had a taste…” he explained. “Of your cookies, of course,” he added with a nervous smile and a glance to the side, making you chew your lip as you noticed the suggestive language. “I asked you out, miraculously you said yes,” he enumerated, “and, well, a year later—”

“A… a year?” you stammered.

“Yeah,” he frowned in a worried sort of way, “a year. Things got pretty serious between us, you told me about how much you wanted to get out of the city, and, well—” he motioned to the house behind him, looking like you’d stepped into a Christmas card— “here we are. Very, very far out of the city. We’ve made a great little life here for ourselves. A-at least, I think so…”

“I forgot so much…” you whispered in disbelief, searching your mind for any moments from the last year from this man you hardly recognized— that you apparently lived with— but finding nothing.

“You didn’t forget your famous gingerbread recipe, I hope,” he winked, apparently trying to cheer you up, lighten the mood or something. “What’s the secret ingredient again?”

“Orange zest,” you answered, and he cracked a smile.

“That’s my girl,” he cooed as he kissed your forehead. You didn’t quite flinch when he did it, but you did move away, and he pulled back with a sad look in his eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

“I just…” you sighed. “I’m sure you must’ve kissed me a thousand times in a year together, but, for me—”

“It’s like the first time,” he finished as he understood. “I get it. This must be… a lot for you to take in.”

“Yeah,” you chuckled breathlessly, “but… I’m gonna try to remember.”

He gave you a small, but playfully devious, smile. “Well, maybe I can help you remember.”

You bit your lip slightly as he carefully reached forward to lift the back of your neck with his hand, running his thumb over your jaw, moving his gaze from your eyes to your lips. You felt your breathing pick up a bit as he leaned closer, catching your gaze again as you looked up at him nervously, forcing yourself not to be uncomfortable by this man— this stranger you loved— moving closer.

Figuring it was better to relax and trust whatever muscle memory you might have, you let your eyes fall shut; after a moment, you felt his lips against yours.

He kissed you softly, which you appreciated since it was still a lot for you to process, and after a few moments you managed to force yourself to relax into it.

There was an awkwardness, a hesitance and unfamiliarity, to the way he moved his lips— it felt like both of you were trying to dance without learning the steps. You felt a small gasp slip out of you when you felt his tongue carefully run over your bottom lip, venturing forward a moment later to graze your teeth.

You fought the urge to pull back; your hands reached up to push him back at his shoulders instinctively, but you managed to stop yourself at the last second and simply rest your hands on his shoulders instead. You even found yourself gently feeling the soft fabric of his cranberry-colored sweater beneath your fingertips, and it made him hum lowly into the kiss.

Slowly, but surely, you began to relax. Yes, it still felt like kissing a stranger, but that didn’t make it necessarily unpleasant. You certainly wouldn’t call it comfortable, but you couldn’t deny that as his large hands cradled your neck, his lips moved gently with yours, his tongue carefully tasted you… it wouldn’t be a stretch to call this enjoyable.

You dared to move your hands a bit, reaching up to delicately lace your fingers into the thick, dark hair at the back of his neck. He kissed you deeper when you did that, using his hold on you to tilt your head so he could open his mouth wider and, in turn, push deeper into yours.

You couldn’t remember the last time you were kissed like this— well, of course you couldn’t, after your injury. But even without the last year having been lost to a hit on the head, you were pretty confident nobody had ever kissed you the way John was kissing you now: like you were the only thing on his mind, like he missed your more than anything even though you’d only been knocked out for a day or so.

When he pulled back, you almost leaned forward to chase him for more; he clearly noticed, because he smiled as he looked down at you with those piercing brown eyes. “You remember more than you thought,” he smirked. “Does it all feel a little more familiar now?”

“Yes,” you answered with a smile, because you knew it was what he wanted to hear— and because it was what you wanted to believe. But as he stepped back and stood up and helped you off the couch until you found your balance, you took in the house around you and felt like it was impossible that it could've ever been your home. It all seemed a little too perfect.

December 21

Yes, it was a little strange to lay next to him in bed, resting your head on his shoulder. But you liked it— it felt like something you definitely could’ve enjoyed for the past year, even though his arm draped around your waist made your heart beat faster in a way that was more uncomfortable than romantic.

But, he’d been patient with you, and you were thankful for that. Unfortunately, you hadn’t remembered anything you’d forgotten yet— and so you were spending more time having him tell you the stories again.

“Our first date?” you prompted, looking up at him; you did think he was good-looking, and he’d been incredibly kind and charming, so you understood what attracted you to him originally. Still, you wished you could remember anything past that.

“A brunch place, you got French toast and I got migas.”

“We went out for brunch on a first date?” you laughed.

“Don’t look at me, it was your idea!” he shrugged. “I guess you thought dinner was too much pressure.”

“Okay, second date?”

He nodded. “Riverside park. We fed the ducks, I made a joke about how I’d never brought a can of peas on a date before, you thought it was way funnier than it was. I bought you ice cream—”

“What kind?”

“Two scoops of rocky road on a waffle cone,” he answered quickly.

“Two scoops, on a date? What was I thinking?” you choked.

“I don’t know, but I did have to finish it for you,” he smiled.

“Third date?”

“Dinner, finally— an Italian place.”

“What date did we…?” you wondered aloud.

“That would be date… six,” he recalled.

“Really? That long?” you scoffed, and he grinned as he looked down at you where your head rested on his shoulder.

“Don’t say that, you’ll give me an ego,” he warned, and you let your gaze move from his smile to where your hand laid on his chest— your fingers toyed briefly with the sparse hairs you found there. When you looked back up at him, his smile was gone, and something new was in his eyes. He leaned in a little closer— you instinctively flinched away, and he let out a breath as he laid on his back again and stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah, okay,” he whispered awkwardly, the sting of rejection obvious in his tone.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, “I’m not— it’s complicated.”

“No, it’s fine, don’t apologize,” he assured half-heartedly, “I understand, I just thought maybe… I don’t know, I just hoped for a second, because I thought it might be nice if we could—”

“I know it’s normal for you, John, but I just— I can’t remember that, it feels so foreign,” you explained. “I mean, it took me six dates last time.”

“Six dates over more than a month,” he added. “I’ll wait as long as you need, but I’ll be honest: a month is a long time to not be able to touch you, or kiss you, or feel you… I mean, before your accident, we could get up to almost once a day.”

“A day?!” you repeated, jumping up into a sitting position simply from shock.

“Yeah!” he chuckled. “I know… honestly, I had trouble keeping up with you sometimes.”

“I’ve never been… active like that with a boyfriend before,” you admitted sheepishly.

“Well, nobody’s ever made you feel like I do,” he explained, defending himself when you gave him a slightly scandalized look: “that’s what you told me.”

“Jeez, you’d think passion like that would be hard to forget,” you mumbled awkwardly.

He smiled at you as he sat up, propping himself up on his elbows. “It’s unforgettable, darling,” he purred. “The way it feels when we’re together…”

He trailed off, reaching forward to run his hand lightly over your thigh; you felt a chill run up your spine, equal parts unsettling and titillating.

“Let me remind you,” he whispered, but he sat up further as you started to lean away. “I-I don’t mean physically, necessarily. If you’re not ready. I just mean, let me try to tell you how it is.”

You bit your lip for a moment. “Okay…”

“Well, I mean, where to start,” he chuckled, both of you adjusting to get more comfortable. “Uh, well, there was this one time— we’d just moved in here, early March… it was our first night in this bed, right here—” he patted the mattress beneath you both— “but it was basically empty everywhere else. You kissed me, and I could tell you wanted to go further because, well, there’s this way you kiss me when you want me to make love to you… anyways, you kissed me and I ran my fingers down your back… I remember that you arched your back a bit when I did it, you moaned a little into my mouth— I wished I could taste every noise you made for me.”

You shifted awkwardly where you sat on the bed. No, you couldn’t remember what he was talking about, but he sure was painting quite the picture of it.

“I laid you down on your back, I kissed you everywhere I could find,” he continued, voice getting a little lower. “I tasted you where you needed me most,” he added darkly, “and I could taste how badly you needed me.”

Fuck. You felt a pulse hit you right between your legs, and you understood what he meant by ‘need’ very clearly.

“I felt so powerful, making you come that way,” he admitted. “You squirmed under me a little but you moaned my name and I thought about how I’d never loved my name until I heard you say it like that. You sounded like an angel, you always do.”

You realized he was leaning in a bit closer, speaking quietly such that you had to lean in as well to hear him. Your heart beat a little faster.

“And being inside you?” he continued, making your breath catch. “I don’t even know how to describe it. It feels like… coming home. It feels like belonging somewhere. Trust me, darling, once you remember how we are together, you’ll remember that we’re made for each other.”

The way he said it made it impossible not to believe him. Just as you felt your tongue absent-mindedly dart out to wet your lips, and your eyes drifted over his form in contemplation of the pursuit of what he’d described, he surprised you by jumping up off the bed with a smile.

“Anywho,” he prompted, knocking you out of your trance, “I’m gonna go bring in some more firewood before it gets too dark out. Do you mind starting dinner soon?”

“Um,” you choked, “no, yeah, I’ll preheat the oven.”

“Great,” he nodded, leaning down to give your forehead a peck before starting to leave.

“Uh, John?” you blurted out, stopping him in the doorway as he turned back to look at you.

“Hm?”

“Uhh…” you stalled. “I thought maybe I’d make a pot roast tomorrow– slow cook it, I mean. How does that sound?”

“Sounds delicious,” he hummed.

He left you still reeling, your body finally seeming to remember something your mind didn’t– and even crave it, without you really knowing what it was.

If only you could remember how to actually ask for it!

December 4

Aamna hummed a little to herself as she put a new tray under the glass display. You recognized it as a Christmas song but couldn’t place the title, or any of the words.

“You’re already in the holiday spirit?” you noticed, and she didn’t look back at where you were standing behind the register to answer, but you still caught her rolling her eyes.

“You know Christmas starts the day after Halloween in my book,” she scoffed. “Not all of us are grinches like you.”

“I’m not a grinch!” you deflected. “I like Christmas, I just… don’t feel it yet. It usually kicks in for me later.”

“Later?” she pressed.

“Yeah, like… the twenty-third or so.”

“Oh my god,” she frowned, standing up and crossing her arms at you. “That’s sad.”

“True,” you admitted.

“But still, I thought making all those gingerbread cookies–” she motioned to the ones she’d just put on display for sale– “would get you in the mood for festiveness and stuff.”

"Does anybody actually like gingerbread?” you scoffed. “Or are we just all into it for the aesthetics?”

A deep, yet unassured voice interjected from the corner— “I-I like gingerbread.”

Aamna leaned out of the way to reveal a man with dark hair and dark eyes crinkling at the edges as he smiled, standing up from his seat in the corner of the room— damn, he was tall— and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “You do?” Aamna smirked, being the one significantly better at getting a word out when a tall, dark, and handsome stranger enters your bakery.

He stepped closer, approaching the counter with a tilt of his head as he looked at the desserts on display. “I used to make it with my mom all the time growing up,” he continued, “I guess that’s why people like gingerbread: nostalgia.”

His eyes sparkled a little as he looked at you; you noticed him raising his eyebrows, waiting for a response, but your mind went blank.

“I’m… sorry if I interrupted,” he mumbled.

“No!” you choked. “No, you’re fine…”

“So, gingerbread’s all about the nostalgia,” Aamna jumped in after another brief pause. “What about fruitcake?”

“Oh, I’m not that nostalgic,” he chuckled. “It’s disgusting.”

Aamna glanced over at the fruitcake in the glass display, and the man followed her gaze and winced playfully with a nod of understanding.

“Except that one, which I’m sure is great,” he added.

“I made that one,” she smiled.

“Then I’m sure it’s… delicious,” he returned, hitting the last word with a certain subtle intonation that made you shiver a bit without knowing for sure if it was intentional on his part.

Aamna bit her lip for a moment, glancing down as one of her hands reached up to nervously fiddle a bit with her hijab.

“That’s cute,” he hummed, motioning to the scarf, “the little… candy canes…” He reached up like he might touch it, but he didn’t. “It’s nice— it’s festive.”

“Oh, thanks,” she giggled. “I actually have one with little, uh, gingerbread men on it, too.”

“Really? Guess I’ll have to come back tomorrow to see it,” he smiled.

Just as she looked like she might actually manage to emit little floating cartoon hearts from her head, a timer went off from the kitchen and she perked up. "Oh! The petit fours!" she chirped, dashing around the counter and through the saloon doors to the back.

And so it was you and this man, him staring at you with a friendly smile and you too nervous to look back for more than a split second before you started to wring your hands with anxiousness.

“So, you’re not a gingerbread fan,” he prompted, “but what do you like here?’

“Me?” you confirmed, continuing when he nodded. “Uh, basically everything— I really love the Danish butter cookies, and the peppermint meringues—”

“Did you make them?” he interrupted.

“O-oh, uh, yeah, I made them both,” you nodded. “I actually… created the recipe, for the meringues.”

“Wow!” he beamed, way too impressed. “That’s incredible. You made the whole recipe? You just came up with it?”

“Yeah, well, that’s what I do,” you shrugged.

“That’s great,” he encouraged. “And the Danish butter cookies, did you make that recipe, too?”

“No, that one’s a classic,” you explained, “it’s over a hundred years old— I bought the card at an estate sale. Family heirloom… not my family, but, still…”

“That’s sweet,” he praised with a lopsided little smile. “You kept someone’s family tradition alive— that’s really special.”

You fought the urge to shyly glance down at the floor like Aamna had— but you understood now why she’d done it. “Oh, uh, thanks… I hope you’re right.”

"I wish I could bake, but I'm totally hopeless," he admitted with a chuckle. "That's why I'm here— gotta outsource the holiday cheer since the most festive thing that's ever come out of my oven is coal."

“Do you want any gingerbread, after defending it so fiercely?” you pressed.

“Oh— I don’t know…” he dismissed, trailing off.

“What?” you chuckled. “You can’t abandon these innocent ginger-people, no one else has any interest in buying them but you!”

“Well, I didn’t actually say I like all gingerbread— I like the memories,” he reminded you, “I like my mom’s. Most gingerbread isn’t as good as my mom’s.”

“So, if it’s as good, you’ll buy some?” you concluded.

“Of course,” he nodded. “But I won’t know how good it is until I buy it.”

You smiled deviously as you reached into the display and grabbed a gingerbread man, one with a big icing smile and a squiggly line all around his silhouette and a green piped bowtie. “Well, you know, bakers have a tradition of eating the cookies that break before they can be sold,” you explained, dropping the pastry onto the counter and watching him crack in half from his right shoulder to his left hip. “And what do you know! This one’s broken. I’ll split it with you, since you’re here…”

You handed him the top half and watched him smile as he took it— without saying anything, just looking each other in the eyes, you managed to coordinate taking a bite at the same time: you ate his foot while he went in straight for the head.

Truth be told, you didn’t hate gingerbread, and these were relatively decent— nutmeg-y, mildly sweet, crunchy outside but soft middle… you understood the appeal to a certain extent, but you just didn’t like the spiciness and the aggressive aftertaste of molasses.

You were focusing so much on the taste of your own cookie, since you hadn’t actually tasted it since you designed the recipe, that you didn’t notice the man’s reaction until you heard a sniffle. Looking up, you caught him running his hand over his cheek quickly, eyes red and watery.

“Oh!” you mumbled quietly. “Are you… are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he assured in a rush, swallowing the bite and giving you a nervous smile as he wiped his eyes again. “Yeah. I’ll buy some.”

“Okay…” you nodded, not wanting to press and choosing to focus on the register so he wouldn’t feel your stare. “How many?”

“How many do you have?”

You stammered as you tried to remember. “Oh, uhh… I think, about three dozen. Minus the free sample…”

“Okay, well, I’ll take those,” he nodded quickly, seeming to have pulled himself together as he smiled down at you and stuff his hands in his pockets.

“You want three dozen cookies?” you repeated in quiet disbelief.

“Yeah— one-fifty a pop, should come out to a little over fifty?” he prompted as he started to open his wallet.

“No, that many would actually be considered a catering order, the pricing is different,” you explained. “Uhh— let me… let me figure this out,” you stumbled, trying to do the math in your head. “It’s usually $10 for a dozen but these are considered large so it’s—”

You stopped with a little gasp when his hand rested on yours; you blinked up at him quickly. “Just let me give you a $50."

You struggled to get a sentence out with him still touching you. "O-okay, but let me give you some freebies, too— as a thank you for making such a large purchase…"

"They're really great," he added, like selling you out didn't make that opinion clear. "You… didn't get that recipe at an estate sale, right?" he pressed with a furrowed brow, seeming a little disappointed and yet relieved when you shook your head. "They just taste exactly how I remember…"

"Nope, I tested that recipe from scratch," you shrugged. "I don't even really like them, I just figured they tasted enough like what people want from a gingerbread cookie—"

"How can you not like them? They taste like decorating in the kitchen and pressing the shapes into the dough, songs around a piano, gifts around a fireplace…"

"You said it yourself, you like the memories," you chuckled sadly. "I… don't really have any memories like that, so they don't taste like anything to me except molasses."

He seemed to get very serious for a moment— too serious. "That's a shame," he said.

After arranging all the remaining gingerbread men— even the ones that were still in the kitchen— in a box for him, you searched the display shelves for any random things to add. You tossed in some mini-tarts, a few sugar cookies, and a cherry turnover; the last one was probably worth more than you were giving it away for, but you figured he'd earned it.

The man waited patiently as you finished off the process by tying a ribbon around the box.

"Thank you…" you began as you handed him the box. You wondered if you'd ever sold a box this heavy before.

"John," he finished as he took it from you, leaving the bill on the counter. "Merry Christmas."

"You too," you returned, stunned, as you watched him leave: carrying the box like he most delicate, precious thing, pushing the door open with his back and disappearing down the street into the night.

December 22

"Woah, hey, let me help you," he cooed as he held your arms, keeping you upright.

You weren't usually this bad— a little rusty, sure, but you knew your legs were especially wobbly because of your recovery from the injury. You stared down at your feet, laced into the skates, shaking as they carved into the frozen lake.

“You just have to find your balance,” he assured. “Be careful, it’s not like a rink out here: the ice is uneven.”

He let you go and you took a breath as you skated forward on your own. Of course, he was literally skating circles around you with ease, while you were still holding your arms out shakily to try to keep your balance. You cried out for just a second when you almost slipped, but you recovered.

“I’m not gonna let you fall,” he promised, making another loop around you as you gained some speed. “You trust me, right?”

You nodded a little, but you were mostly focused on not eating dirt– or, in this case, snow.

It only took a few moments for you to gain some confidence, and the two of you were able to skate alongside each other along the outer edge of the lake.

“Did we do this a lot before?” you asked as you admired the frozen, snow-laden trees in every direction. At least one of the perks of forgetting the past year was getting to see this beautiful forest like it was the first time.

“Not a lot, but sometimes,” he answered. “We went out too early one year and the ice cracked and you fell in. You were fine in the end, but I had to keep us both away for a while after that… I get too scared when bad things happen to you.”

“Yeah, that sounds scary,” you sympathized.

“Oh, I was a wreck,” he admitted. “I’m honestly kind of glad you don’t remember that– and it’s a good thing you couldn’t see me after you slipped on the deck and hit your head, either… I was totally freaking out. For a second, I thought…”

He sighed, waiting a moment before starting over.

“I was worried that you might–” he began again, but stopped and looked away. You furrowed your brow and leaned in closer to him.

“What is it?” you pressed softly.

“When you hit your head before,” he started once more, and you caught the waver in his voice, “I was worried you were really hurt. Like– like you might not get better.”

You were moved by his obvious terror at the idea of you being critically injured. It wasn’t like he hadn’t made it clear that he cared for you, but it was different to see it like this.

“I think when you woke up, you were confused why I was sort of unphased by your memory loss,” he posited as he used his woolly mitten to wipe away a stray tear that had fallen down his cheek, sniffling and collecting himself. “It’s just because I was so happy you woke up at all. Dr. Barlow assured me you would, but… for a while there I really thought I’d lost you. And I honestly know I couldn’t take it– going on without you, I mean. It might sound pathetic, but I really couldn’t do it.”

You chewed your lip as you considered that. He really meant it, you knew that much, and you were amazed that someone was so dedicated to you– let alone someone you felt like you barely knew. But you figured you knew him well enough, didn’t you? Sweet, considerate, a little meticulous, incredibly patient… no wonder you’d moved in with him so fast, started building a life out here with him. It wasn’t what you expected for yourself: last you remembered, your business was thriving and your future was foggy but focused on your career and your accomplishments. And now you were living the simple life, in a cabin in a forest with a guy like John who seemed like he’d just stepped out of a Hallmark commercial or something.

It seemed like exactly the sort of thing you should want; and over time, you were learning to find joy in this strange little reality that had been dropped in your lap.

“I’m just about worn out,” John announced, skating to a stop as you turned your blades sideways to do the same. “Wanna head inside soon?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” you agreed. “Except that the worst part is trying to walk back in these skates.”

“I can fix that problem,” he offered with a grin, and before you could ask what he meant, he’d picked you up and all but thrown you over his shoulder in spite of your giggled yelps of protest.

He carried you back to the house with relative ease, and something about this show of strength made you more nervous than you expected, though you couldn’t place exactly why. Once you were inside, he insisted on taking your skates off for you even though you would’ve been just fine doing it yourself, before he disappeared into the kitchen to ‘bring you something’ (not vague at all, thanks John).

You shed your fluffy layers while you waited for him, left only in your dress and stockings; and he returned a few minutes later with a drink in a mug patterned like a pleasantly-tacky Christmas sweater, looking especially proud of himself.

“Nothing to warm you up after a night on the ice like some cocoa, right?” he smiled as he set the steaming mug down in front of you, and sat next to you at the round kitchen table.

“Is this whipped cream?” you asked as you poked at the lump of fluffy white something floating on top.

“No, it’s Cool Whip,” he explained. “You know, the stuff that comes in the tub that you keep in the freezer? It’s similar to whipped cream, obviously, but a little more flavorful– and it helps cool it off.”

“I’ve never seen Cool Whip in hot chocolate before,” you noticed.

“It’s how my mom used to make it,” he added. A silent moment passed– maybe a slightly awkward one as well. “I must sound so obsessed with my mother,” he realized with a nervous laugh. “You’re probably like ‘oh my god, is this guy like Norman Bates or something?’”

“No, I’m not thinking that,” you lied.

“I really– I just think about my mom a lot during the holidays,” he explained as he glanced around at the festive interior, the wreath over the fireplace and the tree with its flashing lights. “She passed a long time ago, you probably forgot that. And it was hard for me. I mean, it’s hard for anyone to lose a parent, but… we were close. And she was really into Christmas, she always made it so amazing. It’s hard for me to do this without her.”

You nodded a little in understanding, taking a sip from your mug as you listened. He seemed to notice whatever reaction you hadn’t meant to show, because he looked at your face and smiled.

“It’s good?” he presumed.

“Yeah,” you breathed, almost in disbelief, “it’s… really good. Damn. You make a mean cocoa.”

“I try,” he chuckled. “I’m so glad you like it.”

Another moment passed as you sipped at the drink, feeling each gulp warm your chest from the inside out.

“I just want you to feel safe here,” he added. “And I want you to feel comfortable with me.”

“I do,” you offered, but your tone gave away the underlying hesitance you still felt.

“Christmas without my mom is hard,” he reiterated, “but with you… it’s a lot better. It feels like I have a family again…”

As his words trailed off, you caught a few words of the song playing in the other room: hang a shining star upon the highest bough…

You smiled as you set down the mug and stood up, extending your hand towards him. He looked a little confused as he stared at the hand and then met your gaze. “Dance with me?” you prompted.

He took your hand and smiled back at you, and the two of you moved away from the table and closer to the living room where the music played faintly through the record player.

And have yourself a merry little Christmas now…

The dance was a bit more energetic at first, then slowed down to just a gentle sway as you dared to rest your head on his chest; his hand on your back kept you close, his steps guided yours.

You let your eyes fall shut as you took in a deep breath, appreciating the warm, homey feeling you associated with the smell of the house and the feeling of his sweater against your cheek. His hand squeezed yours, and you looked up at him with a little smile, just as he smiled down at you with those brown eyes sparkling in the light of the tree.

He moved his hand and stepped back, and before you knew it he was spinning you around; you gasped and laughed a bit, letting him guide you back into him. It was just a bit exhilarating, yet shockingly comfortable. Maybe some muscle memory was kicking in from dance lessons you couldn’t recall. He did it again and this time you were a bit more prepared, though you still giggled from the thrill of it and he laughed with you if only to share in your joy.

It all seemed so sudden: one moment you were just laughing together, the next he was pinning you back against the wall, kissing you breathless. You yelped a little in shock, but it was almost entirely lost to his tongue inside your mouth as he breathed heavily and his hands roamed all over your body.

You only got a moment to breathe when he moved down to hungrily kiss your neck. "John—" you choked.

"Shh," he soothed, "it's gonna be good, okay? I'm gonna make it good."

You whimpered as he started to pull up your dress, pressing his hips up to you. A new wave of defiance empowered you when you felt his erection through the thick layers of clothes. "John!" you gasped, roughly shoving him back; and you just barely managed to knock him off balance and get him to stop.

For one split second, you caught his rage, but it shifted to bewilderment and then exhaustion immediately. "I-I'm sorry," he whispered. He sighed and dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his eyes with his palms. "God, darling, I'm so sorry… I just— I miss you. I know you're here, but—"

"I understand," you breathed, still trying to calm yourself after the adrenaline rush of trying to fight him off.

"I'm awful," he groaned. "I'm really so awful, you're still recovering and you're trying to get used to all this, and I'm just so in love with you that I can't even treat you right… you really deserve so much better than me."

"N-no," you sighed, "don't say that… you're not awful, John, you've been so good to me. I just wish I was ready to give you what you need."

"All I need is you, beautiful," he promised as he stepped closer again, this time much more gentle and patient as he held your face in his hands. "I can wait until you're ready. I would wait forever for you— I used to tell you that, before. Do you remember?"

You wrinkled your brow as you thought about that. He leaned in closer, speaking in a low whisper by your ear.

"I've waited my whole life for you," he whispered, and you gasped as your eyes watered.

"I… I remember…" you realized. It was distant, like a memory of a dream, but it was there. John beamed and you found yourself laughing as you looked up at him and wrapped your arms around his neck. "I remember that!"

He pulled you into a hug, and you cried joyfully into his shoulder. "I love you, darling," he reminded you.

"I love you too," you convinced yourself to reply. And it almost felt right.

December 23

He must’ve known something was different this time, because he sat up in bed as he saw you standing in the doorway in your nightgown. You used to hate wearing nightgowns like this, usually sleeping in a baggy old t-shirt or something; you still struggled to imagine how you’d been wearing this for a year.

“Is everything okay?” he asked you, and you said nothing (yet) as you nervously approached the bedside. He frowned when you shivered, lifting the covers for you. “C’mon, get in, it’s cold,” he encouraged, and you slipped into the warm sheets beside him.

You looked up at him as he waited patiently for whatever it was you obviously wanted to say; you took a deep breath before finally finding the courage to say it. “I… I’m ready,” you whispered. “I want to… do what we used to do.”

“We used to do a lot of things,” he teased with a smirk.

“John,” you groaned in frustration, “please… you know what I mean. I don’t want to make you wait anymore. I don’t want to wait anymore…”

He nodded in understanding as he pulled you into a kiss, and you fought to relax as you reached up and wrapped your arms around him.

He began to delicately climb on top of you under the covers; you struggled not to try to close your legs as he carefully spread them open and slotted himself between them. With your nightgown falling away, only your thin panties protected you from the chilly night air that blew in a draft under the sheets for a second.

You squinted your eyes shut tight when you felt his erection, throbbingly hard even through his pants, pressing up against you between your legs. He rocked his hips slightly, and you gasped as it made your panties rub up against your swelling clit.

He smiled into the kiss and did it again, forcing a whimpery moan out of your lips. “Baby,” he breathed, sounding in awe of you. He reached down and pulled the panties down your thighs, groaning as he ran his fingers through your folds. “When you said you were ready, I didn’t know you were this ready. Why didn’t you tell me you were this needy for me, darling?”

You were more wet than either of you expected, clearly. You’d soaked his fingers already, without him even putting them inside you– and he apparently didn’t intend to, since he pulled his hands away to quickly shove his pants and boxers down.

In the dark, you couldn’t see his cock, but you felt the head bump against your thigh and smear a little precum there. You swallowed thickly as you tried not to freak out, but you really wanted to freak out. This felt a lot less comfortable than you had hoped it would; you were fighting inside your mind to find the familiarity in this that you must’ve had by now. You’ve been with him for a year, you tried to convince yourself, he’s hot, he’s nice, just get over yourself and have sex with him!

“You’re sure you’re ready?” he whispered, sighing when you nodded. “Fuck, okay…” he breathed before he kissed you again, lining himself up with your opening.

He stopped kissing you to stare down at your face as he pushed his hips forward, slipping the head of his cock inside.

It was instantly and patently obvious that he was far, far too big for you. “John,” you gasped, “John, it hurts!”

“Shh, hey, it’s okay,” he whispered, “that happens sometimes— when it’s been a little while. I’m gonna be gentle with you, okay? Just breathe, just give it a moment and it’ll feel great…”

He gave you a few more inches, a low groan falling from his lips as you whined through your teeth.

“Just a little more,” he encouraged under his breath, shushing you gently as you whimpered, “shh, just a little more, baby– you can take it all, I know you can…”

You couldn’t believe the feeling when his hips were flush against yours; you couldn’t believe that anything had ever been this deep in you before, let alone with such apparent frequency. It felt like he was forging a new path in you– was it always this difficult to take him? How were you able to stand it for a year?

“Oh fuck,” he gasped, tightening his fist in the sheets beside your head, “fuck! You’re so tight…”

Much sooner than you were ready for, he pulled back and thrusted into you again; you choked out his name, almost a plea to stop but not a very effective one since he took it more as a compliment.

“Yeah, that’s me inside you,” he assured with a purr, giving you deep– if not particularly fast– thrusts. “That’s my cock in you. Do you like it?”

You figured he expected you to say that you did, but you couldn’t even get out an answer, honest or not; you were too busy breathing fast and heavy as he reached down to hold your hips close to his.

“I wanna hear you say that you like this,” he instructed. “You tell me all the time that you love the way I fuck you. Doesn’t it feel good, darling?”

He reached down to rub his thumb over your clit, drawing a gasp from you as your walls clenched down on him from the unexpected stimulation. He grinned as you let out a shaky moan– there was still a sting to it, but you were obviously getting used to the feeling.

“You like it when I touch you there?” he whispered. “Or should I stop?”

He slowed the movement of his thumb and you whimpered, reaching up to grab his shoulders. “D-don’t stop,” you pleaded. He chuckled quietly as he kept rubbing your bud, and it helped you with the stretch of his cock inside you since it made you a little more wet.

After you got comfortable with the pattern, you felt a throbbing sort of pleasure growing more powerful inside you; the pain had finally subsided and you could feel each stroke pushing against something beautifully sensitive inside you. He pressed down harder on your clit and you heard yourself moan much louder than you expected. “Fuck,” he sighed when he heard it, “you sound so pretty. Do it again.”

This time he pinched your clit, and you certainly moaned– though it was almost a cry, too.

“Oh, baby,” he groaned in a deep, gravelly voice, and a chill jumped up your spine. He panted your name over and over as he moved faster inside you. “So good, you’re so good— that’s a good girl, that’s my good fucking girl…”

His praise made you eek out a whimper, chills running over your skin. His thrusts inside you still stung just a bit, but each one stroked deeper spots within you that made your back arch and your mouth fall open into a pant.

“I know you love it,” he purred. “Fuck, I know you love this. This is what you were missing, right? You wanted me to take care of you? I remember just what you need, darling, don’t worry…”

He rubbed your clit faster, harder, with more desperation as you started to squirm a bit beneath him.

“It’s so good,” he groaned, “baby, you’re so good– feels like heaven, god, I missed you so much…”

“I-I missed you too,” you whined, hearing him chuckle thinly before he kissed you again.

More pressure on your clit made you choke on a moan; faster thrusts made you gasp. It was coming, and it was coming way too quickly– too quickly for you to stop it now.

“John— I’m—” you breathed as your hands gripped onto his back, feeling his muscles shift beneath the skin. “I’m gonna—”

“I know,” he encouraged softly, “I know, you’re doing so good for me, just like that— come for me, beautiful. I wanna feel it.”

Your body was conflicted by the raw pleasure of your orgasm, and yet the sharp pain each time your walls involuntarily bared down on him– it reawakened the sting of taking something so large inside you, and you sobbed weakly with each painful clench of your channel. Your nails dug into his back, and your teeth sunk into your bottom lip.

As the last wave subsided, you went limp beneath him. You were so sensitive now that you sort of just assumed he would slow down and give you a moment, but exactly the opposite happened.

“Feels so good when you come for me,” he moaned as he picked up the pace, “love feeling that pussy squeeze me.”

You felt a little self-conscious hearing him talk like that, and in your half-delirious post-orgasm haze you reached to try to push his hips back so he wouldn’t go so deep while you were still feeling the aftershocks, but he grabbed your hands at the wrists and pinned them beside your head.

“Fuck,” he grunted as he fucked you even faster— erratic, senseless thrusts making the whole bed shake, “fuck, you’re so fucking dirty, my filthy little whore.”

You gasped, tears pricking your eyes instantly as a sick self-consciousness swirled in your gut. “S-stop,” you whispered. “John, stop!”

He slowed to a stop with a furrowed brow as he stared down at you. “What?” he panted, obviously confused and struggling to refocus on conversation.

“Why… why would you call me that?” you whimpered.

“O-oh, baby,” he cooed, leaning down to wrap his arms around you, “darling, I didn’t mean it like that— you like it when I call you names.”

“No I don’t…” you breathed shakily.

“Well, you did,” he tried to explain, “before… but you don’t have to like it, I just— I just thought you would, I’m sorry, I didn’t… you know I adore you, beautiful— it’s not meant to insult you. I’d never want you to feel bad about yourself.”

“Okay…” you mumbled awkwardly.

“Can I… keep going?” he asked. “I was so close… I won’t say anything this time, I’ll be quick, I just… I was really close.”

“Okay,” you repeated, hiding a grimace as he started to move again. That sick feeling in your stomach hadn’t gone away, and what he was doing just made it worse. His little groans beside your face felt sharp in your ear like they were crawling into your brain and you started to tilt your head towards your shoulder to stop them from getting inside; his hands held your body tighter even when you arched your back to try to get away.

He buried his face in your neck, whispering praises to you, telling you he loved you, but you just turned your head away and hoped it would be over soon. It was, and yet it felt like forever.

You heard him moan your name quietly and slow down to a stop: for a moment, you didn’t understand what had happened, until you felt the pulse of his cock at your entrance, pumping his hot, sticky come deep in your channel.

The realization that he’d just come inside you made you let out a shaky, nervous sigh; you must be on the pill, right? And you just don’t remember going on it. But wait, that can’t be right because you haven’t been taking any pills since you woke up, other than the ones for your head injury that he’d been giving you: but you were on something, an IUD maybe? Otherwise he wouldn’t do that— or maybe he had a vasectomy? How could you know? He was a stranger and you were an amnesiac.

He let out a long sigh, staying buried inside you far longer than you would've preferred as he slumped down on top of you, nearly crushing you with his weight. "You're so amazing, darling," he breathed.

He fell asleep rather quickly, keeping you pinned down under him and wrapped up tight in his embrace. You, though, stayed awake for what felt like hours, staring out the window into the darkness. You could just barely see snow falling, covering the dense forest outside in a thick layer of white.

The storm's too heavy, your mind whispered to you in the silence, you'd never make it.

And yet you longed to run. To trudge through the freezing snow, seeking civilization in any direction, just to get away from him. It didn't even matter if you believed him anymore, if you actually thought you'd simply forgotten a year of being with him. Even if it was true, you would never believe you'd actually been in a healthy relationship for the last year. Whether it was a lie or not, the truth was obvious: you were trapped.

December 18

He tilted his head back and looked down at your face over his cheekbones as he delicately applied the bright red pigment to your lips. It was a little difficult to do while you were limp and unconscious, so he held your jaw with his free hand to keep your head from falling too far to the side and the lipstick drawing a big line all over your cheek: then he'd have to start all over!

Still, as tedious as it was, it was the perfect final touch to his fantasy coming to fruition.

He stood up and stepped back, absent-mindedly tilting his head as he stared down at you, taking in the sight: You looked exactly how he’d pictured you would, and the dress he’d picked out fit you perfectly. Of course, he chuckled to himself when he realized what he’d forgotten, and he dashed to the bedroom to get it.

Waiting inside the ornate jewelry box, a string of pearls. He smiled as he carefully picked it up; you have to be gentle with real vintage stuff like this.

Bringing it back to the living room, he knelt down and reached behind your neck to clasp it. Now it was perfect. He planted a soft kiss to your cheek, and whispered by your ear: "I've waited my whole life for you."

December 25

"Merry Christmas, darling," he hummed sleepily into your ear as he pulled you tighter into him.

You blinked your eyes open, seeing the bright white snow outside shining in the morning sun. It was objectively beautiful, and yet even surrounded by a warm embrace and weighed down under a thick downy blanket, you still shivered at the sight.

“Do you want to have breakfast first?” he asked excitedly, kissing your neck between words. “Or can I give you your present now?”

Present. Right. It’s Christmas. And you couldn’t remember going shopping for his gift– or where you hid it before wrapping if you had bought him something.

“Come on, let’s go look under the tree,” he prompted excitedly as he hopped out of bed and guided you with him.

You couldn’t remember the last time you were so excited for Christmas that you got out of bed in your pajamas to rush to the tree– and for once, it had nothing to do with slipping on some ice and hitting your head. You simply hadn’t had a Christmas like this before you met John; you had long since given up on the picture-perfect idea of the holidays that you saw in every commercial and postcard and shop window. And now that it was here, you had to swallow down the sick feeling in your throat as he sat you down on the floor between his legs, his arms wrapping you in a hug from behind.

“It’s been so hard to keep my gift a secret,” he admitted. “I’ve been wanting to give it to you for so long.”

“I… I don’t think I got you anything,” you mumbled awkwardly as you stared forward at the tree, not finding anything you remembered wrapping for him. You’d hoped so much to remember by now… “I don’t have a gift for you,” you concluded with a sigh.

“Your gift to me can be saying ‘yes’,” he whispered as he held the small velvet box out in front of you.

Your breath caught in your chest like the ankle of a hunter in an iron bear trap. It’s not like you weren’t expecting the diamond ring to be waiting inside when he opened the clamshell lid, but still, seeing it sparkle under the lights on the tree made you a little nauseous.

“I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you,” he hummed, “and now that I’ve found you, I can’t let you go. I want you to wear this and— and I want you to be my wife.”

You blinked as you stared at it, feeling tears run down your cheeks.

“Say yes,” he encouraged, “please.”

You heard yourself say it, but you didn’t really remember thinking that you would. Then again, what else could you do? He had you trapped here, he’d proven he was willing to hurt you— and he was right, it would be so much easier if you just gave in to him. He lifted your left hand and gently slipped the band around your finger. It fit perfectly; of course it did.

“Mrs. Tyler,” he grinned, “I like the sound of that. A lot. Don’t you?”

You examined the ring on your hand for a second, a little too stunned to be impressed by the massive stone though you were a little mesmerized by its refractions of the light. Finally, you gave a dazed nod in response to his question. He sighed proudly as he hugged you tight, lifting your newly-ring-adorned hand to his lips to kiss it gently.

"There is one gift you're going to give me in return," he added in a low purr. You yelped quietly as he pushed you down and pinned you to the floor, kissing you roughly. You squirmed as he pressed his body onto yours; of course he was already hard, and you whimpered into the kiss because you were still sore from last time– you didn’t think you could take the pain again. “Well, I guess it’s my gift to you, too,” he continued as he kissed a path down your neck, reaching down to push your nightgown out of the way so he could palm at your chest and grope your thighs. “I’m gonna give you my seed.”

You grimaced and pushed at his shoulders, trying to get him away.

"By this time next year, it'll be our baby's first Christmas," he whispered.

“John, please,” you sobbed, “please, don’t–”

He cut you off with another sudden kiss, pulling your panties down your kicking legs. “I know, I know,” he soothed in a pitying voice, “you want it so bad– you wanna be a mommy, I know, darling.”

Cries to stop fell into silence as he kissed you harder, holding you down and effortlessly conquering you in your weak fight.

You gave into it eventually, finding it was easier to go limp than to hurt yourself trying to get him to stop. He wasn’t going to stop; you knew that, and it was better when you accepted it. It was almost nice, actually. He did know how to make you feel good, once you let him hurt you for a little bit first. And his words washed over you and brought you comfort, words of praise and affirmation. At least when you were his good girl, when you were his pretty wife, when you were his darling, you knew who you were. And when he kissed your tears away after he was done, when he held you close and you were all warm and numb and full of him, you wondered how you ever could’ve forgotten who you were.

“You are so beautiful, Mrs. Tyler,” he cooed softly, cradling you on the floor beneath the tree. “I love you so much— I’m gonna make you so happy, darling, I promise.”

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know,

where the treetops glisten, and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write,

may your days be merry and bright,

and may all your Christmases be white.

#john tyler x reader #john tyler smut #john tyler fic #john tyler fanfic #tell me your secrets fanfiction #tell me your secrets #john tyler #hamish linklater

244 notes · View notes