#like don’t even get me started on unleashed and the commentary and the doctor who scandals thing

[korixae]

nonononononono bcs that was SO GOOD like sooooo good bro you don’t understand i adore 14. i adoreeee him like i literally like him more than 10. he’s like if 10 wasn’t so sad and depressed yk?? like he said donna’s his best friend in the whole wide universe and her loves her (and even he acknowledges this is new for him to be saying) and he says he loves wilf and he’s so- he’s so sillyyy like yes 10 was silly but 14 is like if 10 was allowed to be happy. at the end when he runs around his new tardis (which i love sooosososo much btw like i’m obsessed with it i’m so glad it’s staying around for ncuti’s era i’m already dreading seeing it leave again) and him and donna do that cute little scream together like those stereotype teenage girls 🥹 oh i loved it i loved it i loved it AND! that’s not even talking about how “woke” (ugh hate that word) it was!! like it’s gonna piss sooo many people off omg i love it. him asking the meep’s pronouns? the whole binary-nonbinary-binary? the you wouldn’t understand bcs you’re a male-presenting we can just.. let it go? LOVE the representation had me frothing at the mouth i adoreeee. rtd <3 thank you <3 it was perfect <3 couldn’t have asked for more <3

[adultswim2021]

Superjail #3: “Combaticus” | October 5, 2008 - 11:45PM | S01E02

In “Combaticus”, Superjail is suffering from a bout of prisoner ennui, as reported by Superjail’s own sick-and-twisted Doctor-butcher guy. I forget if he was seen in the pilot, but this guy winds up being a recurring character, doing nasty experiments just to be rude. He speaks with a thick German accent, so you know he fucks. The Warden happens to be on a spelunking expedition with his mates and uncovers an old Aztec artifact. This angers the gods somewhat, or so it would seem. It uncovers a big gladiator arena which the Warden decides to open up as Fight City. Here he plans to host a huge battle and grant one prisoner their freedom. 

Meanwhile, the twins are busy creating Combaticus, a bio-engineering marvel that looks like a Venture Bros. cloneslug of the twins but smaller and able to withstand all manner of attacks. He’s also incredibly strong. The insane move he performs on one inmate, which involves reaching into his body and using his spine as a bow-and-arrow style bow to fling the rest of his body off his skeleton is insane. 

This one is incredible, and I’m continually in awe of just how much cool, violent, hilarious, weird shit they are able to cram into a single episode. Memorable scenes include the motif of having not just a fully produced promo for Fight City, but also fully produced wrestler-style intros for the various genetic freaks that wind up going toe-to-toe in the arena. Also memorable is a James Brown style funk act. My god, even the character animation on this show is funny. It’s just a guy singing a song, and it’s wonderful. Other moments, like the Warden’s dancing and the twins roller skating. There’s also great little flights of fancy, like a brief visit to a smurf, and a bit where Jarred gets knocked up into the clouds and gets whack-a-mole’d by an angel in heaven. 

This episode we notably don’t see Jackknife escape (though with a show like this it’s entirely possible nobody has discovered exactly when and where he does). He winds up arrested by Jailbot while robbing graves, about to bone a dead babe. 

The ending is great. The Warden’s Specimen 7 is unleashed to battle Combacticus. It’s a mish-mash of the Warden, Alice, Jarred, and Jailbot, and has similar indestructible properties. The fight appears to be a stalemate, but Fight City crumbles after the episode’s funniest scene. Jailbot is seen chasing a scorpion the entire episode at the behest of the Warden’s panicked orders for him to kill it. The scorpion winds up getting warrior blood dripped onto it and morphs into a noble Aztec warrior, who has the ability to grant Jailbot all the world’s riches. Jailbot stares at him while he gives his mystical spiel, and then nonchalantly pulls out a handgun and just shoots him while he slowly succumbs to his single bullet wound. His spirit rising from his body is what causes Fight City to fall. 

There’s a mournful final scene, where the twins release the ashes of Combacticus to the ocean, and we see his face in the stars, proclaiming himself to be new god of war or something similar. It seemed very video-game-esque, and I guess it’s at least partially referencing the game Shenmue. I never played a video game past Mario 64, but I personally prefer Shenmue 2 because it has sexual humor for adults hidden throughout. 

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Robot Chicken: The Complete Third Season (October 7, 2008)

Robot Chicken season three on DVD is… actually pretty nice. I don’t like this show, but this does happen to be the one season I own because one day I was in a second-hand store--and when I’m in second-hand stores I try very hard to find an item to purchase so as to not be labeled a “looky-loo”--and I was about to start watching this season for the blog and figured "why not!" but also: (pained) "WHYYY!?"

The box is sturdy and designed well, so much so that this box makes me sorta wish I was a fan of this show. Every episode has commentary (as far as I can tell) as well as a smattering of other extras. There’s also nude boobs, totally uncensored and totally legal. You gotta respect all of that.

An interesting thing about this release is that it game out mere days after the last episode of the season, which doesn't happen too often with Adult Swim shows.

[roominthecastle]

@alma37​ again, thank you for the reply! I only keep starting new posts bc I don’t want this to grow a mile long. now onto the points you raised:

It is so obvious ( to me anyway) at the beginning of TDC, when he sees Zoe, the look of shock and hope (or am I projecting again?), then the disappointment, but still a bit of hope, when he realises she is a descendant (same bloodline). 

My thoughts exactly. I mean, everybody projects onto fiction, it’s inevitable since we are not machines and this is a way to connect w/ characters. But I think as he is trying to find his bearings amidst all the new and shiny things, his mask slips there for a moment and the way he looks at her + that “Agatha...?” is quite telling, imo. He is much more attached than even he realized (or allowed himself to realize before) but that’s Dracula for you: he perceives and rationalizes many things but rarely interrogates himself w/ the kind of ruthless honesty Agatha unleashes on him. Their interplay reminds me of that scene w/ Clarice and Hannibal where she says, “You see a lot, Doctor. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? Why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to.”

I didn’t see the crestfallen expression when Renfield told him Zoe was gone. I’ll have to re-watch this scene. For me, he always seemed indifferent. His tone was, imo at least.

It’s yet again one of those “in the eye of the beholder” situations, but I do feel he is at the very least bothered by the fact that, as Renfield remarks, his lady friend will take no further interest in him. Then he even tries to console him w/ that universal hand-on-shoulder gesture but it isn’t exactly well-received.

It’s just my spin on this but I think he’s struggling to come to terms w/ his feelings about this whole situation, and, as you also noted, Agatha/Zoe is not there for a while to be a sounding board and to unpack things for him/us, so he/we are left to our own devices. I think this is what truly sets the first 2 episodes apart from the 3rd and that may be why some fans struggle w/ it the most, too. Agatha is almost like a “meta presence” constantly interrogating the story itself (via Jonathan in ep1 and via Dracula in ep2) but she is silent for most of ep 3. At least to me, this is the most notable difference and it does result in a pace and perspective shift that isn’t to everybody’s liking, I can understand that.

As far as we (the audience) are concerned, I think a lot can be inferred from acting choices and visual-narrative parallels that consistently run through the entire story and inform unfolding events in the final part. To me, nothing feels as though it came out of nowhere, the seeds are all there. As far as Dracula’s concerned, in ep3 he is getting high on the unique flavor of not-giving-a-shit to cope. He is alone, he misses Agatha (a feeling that must be rather jarring to him), and he is aimless in this brave new world where he doesn’t even have to hunt anymore. He secretly longs to die a proper death but it is denied to him, and now he thinks Agatha, too, has passed on to somewhere he cannot follow. This is what he talks about w/ Lucy at the cemetery where he points out the undead, the eternal sufferers imprisoned in their graves, then looks to her as some sort of antidote, but that experiment is of course doomed to fail. Then Agatha comes back for him and shows him the right way out.

This idea of freedom-via-proper-death is also present in Stoker’s book: “I know that you must fight [...] but it is not a work of hate. That poor soul who has wrought all this misery is the saddest case of all. Just think what will be his joy when he, too, is destroyed in his worser part that his better part may have spiritual immortality.” I think this is what we see in that closing image of Dracula and Agatha joined together as light swirls around them, and I still think it is perfect.

I am pretty sure the smile he wears is directly related to her drinking his blood. I hope I didn’t read that one wrong, though. But the editing makes it look like he feels the moment she drinks.

I think it leaves room for several interpretations: it could v well be that he feels it, it could also be his reaction to seeing Jonathan’s portrait in the hallway and it is intercut w/ her outside the facility, or this could also be from Zoe’s POV - her imagining him grinning just like he later imagines himself staring at Lucy at the club. I think this is also in the commentary where it’s mentioned that that whole dance club sequence is more of a stylistic insert of sorts and Dracula isn’t actually there, it’s all in his mind. But if someone told me the opposite, that they think Dracula is there stalking his next victim, I wouldn’t argue w/ that, either, bc that scene is ambiguous enough to carry that interpretation, too. And the same goes for whatever happens when Zoe drinks his blood. And I fully agree that it was not a surprise to him regardless of when exactly he realizes what she did.

I also wanna hard second this:

I would take a second season however the writers would write it, as long as both actors/characters came back.

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 20 - ChenQing Syndrome & Tangents everywhere

Hello cupcakes, and welcome to episode 20. How’s everyone doing? I hope y’all are as safe and can be. I’m pretty sure I need to sleep for at least 24h because I am exhausted so forgive me if I’m suuuuuper low energy.

On another news I am officially mosquito bait. Yay.

I don’t know if I said so in the previous commentary but I Do Not Vibe with eyeballs so yeah.

Speaking of eyeballs, here is what happened the last time my mum and me consumed a medical drama in public. We decided to go to the cinema to watch The Physician, and in the intro credits there is a tray with a pair of eyeballs by a scalpel and my mum, who’s a GP goes (without lowering her voice of course):

“Those are not human eyeballs, too big, they’re probably cow’s”

I swear the whole row just turned around to give us A Look and I haven’t felt more like a serial killer since I started giggling (again in the cinema) watching Death Proof. So there you have it, I lose my shit when tv doctors do bad medicine and she makes ominous comments that make me want to explain to everyone that no, we don’t dismember people for fun.

Listen, necromancy is whatever, but “Imperio-Ing” people into harming themselves and making them hallucinate by playing the flute is what would freak me the fuck out about WWX ngl. I mean, I know he’s a good egg, but he’s Havana Syndrome-ing this bitch and that gives me chills.

Oh I love this shot of one WWX’s eyes cast in light. Cinematography on point as always.

Ok ok ok I am going to go on a terrible tangent in here. I know that in the book shit was even worse, with the cannibalism and JiaoJiao shoving a whole chair leg down her throat but there’s something that’s always caught my attention. If I’m not mistaken she bit off WC’s dick. Now call it a coincidence that WWX took advantage of, but, because I’m The Worst ™️ it made me think. If I’ve learnt something about Criminal Minds is that you don’t go after someone’s bits unless:

a) you’re a sexual sadist and can’t get off any other way (which WWX is not nor is he killing for sexual gratification)

b) those bits have gone near you when you didn’t want them to and it is revenge.

I mean, same way I didn’t want to make you wonder what WWX ate trapped in a mass grave for three months I don’t want to make you think about this but I need to get if off my chest.

Oh hey, now that I think about it the cannibalism could also be personal because again, they yeeted him into a palace full of corpses where “nothing grows”. God I hate my own brain sometimes.

Did these two just walk up to the front door of the Supervisory Office? I mean, the guards are all dead so it is fine, but that’s one shit strategy.

... that’s one ineffective way of tying a hangman’s noose.

JC IS BEING SOFT WITH WQ OMG!

YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART. STOP. (Watch me go read ChengQing fics after this is done)

JC: is there anyone more wicked that the Wen Clan?

Me: *takes a deep breath* how much time do you have?

Gotta give it to WWX, the boy knows how to set the mood.

Yup yup I’m cackling.

Go my creepy necromancer son!

(Once again, I cheer when someone gets shanked)

(Once again, assume I’m screaming about the cinematography)

Bless LWJ’s brain cell, I remember when I first watched this being super worried about these two also getting ChenQing Syndrome.

So is the Red Woman an actual entity or is she an anthropomorphization of what he’s doing to them? Am I assigning too much Poe to this scene?

JC and LWJ straight up jumped through the ceiling to save WWX I love them. (But think, if they’ve been slightly slower and WZL had realised there wasn’t a core to melt, oh the delicious delicious canon divergences we could have)

Now that’s an effective noose.

THAT HUG WAS TOO SHORT! AND WWX WAS GOING TO RECIPROCATE BUT JC STOPED NOOOOOO. (Again JC looks like he gives the best hugs)

Misdirecting WWX is misdirecting.

Aaaaaand you can see the PTSD start to rear its ugly heard the second they want to know where he was the last three months.

WWX: *starts spinning bullshit*

JC: *relaxes his frown and eyerolls*

Aw bb he was really worried. I mean, it is still misdirection but I can see how JC inexperienced as he is with trauma (and dealing with his own) could interpret that as his baby brother just being himself.

Aw they’re falling back into being their soft yet prickly selves I die.

Nope LWJ! I know that you’re worried and shit but the last thing you want to do to someone with WWX’s trauma is trigger their fight or flight response by asking questions and making them sound like accusations.

(Also, interlude to say, WWX seems super reluctant to admit he fucked with the talismans, which fair enough, I’m thinking his trauma conga line is probably making him think he’ll get in trouble if he admits it or they’ll start distrusting him. But really looks like simple curiosity to me)

I’m just gonna scream incoherently at my screen because they are doing it fucking wrong.

Me with other fandoms: KISS GODDAMNIT

Me with this one: COMMUNICATE

DRAG HIM (ok GusuLan) WWX. I know LWJ only wants to make sure WWX is safe and healthy and loved but listen, he doesn’t have the full picture, he is still somewhat naive about you know, the amount his idols can disappoint him. Yes, it is exacerbated by WWX raising his hackles and his overall paranoia but; GusuLan is where the Sect Leader and the second in command (I know Netflix calls LQR “grandmaster” but I also know the translation is incorrect) decided that lashing their own family was an appropriate corrective. I’m not even going to go into the genocide victims or the reasons for the punishment but yeah, lashing. It hasn’t happened yet, but the potential is there, and as much of a self-sacrificing idiot as WWX is he must have some survival instincts if he lived in the streets for years, I’m not saying they don’t get negated when someone he loves is in danger, but you know, they have to be there. I think his brain has been *Kill Bill sirens* about GusuLan for a long time and now the guy who lives and breathes by their rules wants him to go back? Yeah I absolutely think it is valid that he thought the “help” he was gonna get would be horrifying punishment to “put him in the right path”. Do I see a fuck ton of parallels btw GusuLan and abusive Bible-thumping religious fanatical groups? Ok yeah, my b probably, but I Can’t Unsee.

And again, I know LWJ just wants to keep him safe and I know he’s an awkward potato but this one is on him. WWX is in no emotional place to play “guess WangJi” and it might make his soul shrivel up and die inside but a Long Conversation should be had.

Ok, allow me to go on another fucking tangent, there aren’t enough already. I’ve seen posts saying that western people misinterpret LWJ’s short and blunt speech (is short speech something you say in English?) as him being awkward/clamming up/not liking to talk when it actually is considered a very elegant thing to be able to get your point across with as few words as possible, because our culture values eloquence. First of all, I’ve seen that point made with the English language, and I’m Spanish, I don’t know if it affects my point of view but we also have the same idea of getting to the point ASAP here, it isn’t like the height of elegance but it is very common. That’s not my reasoning to say LWJ is an introverted/awkward potato, although it influences it. Because I’ve seen the show a few times, and because YiBo is the patron saint of micro-expressions, I’ve caught several instances in which, after pleasantries are done, a stranger tries to talk to LWJ and he get the tiniest “oh shit people want to have a conversation someone save me” look on his face. The most notable one is when YunmengJiang is trying to get into Cloud Recesses.

Just because someone can be a good conversationalist doesn’t mean they actually like to talk to people or be around them.

Bless JC to the rescue.

Btw regardless of me going off about LWJ’s lack of communication it doesn’t mean I’m not side eyeing WWX for unleashing on people who are not at fault for his trauma.

LET MY YUNMENG SIBS BE HAPPY GODDAMNIT

So that’s all for this episode. I’m so sorry for my tangents, I can’t contain myself. Thanks for reading!

[hopeishappinessff]

Holding Onto Hope: Chapter 39

Hope

She hadn’t explained it to me before I arrived, but here I was… back in Dr. Yate’s office like I was the one seeking therapy. I’d been visiting her more frequently lately, more so in the last month simply because it took a while for me to really warm up to her. She was a very polite and humble lady, very easy to talk to and get along with and once you actually sat in her presence for more than one session it was easy to get comfortable with her. I just wasn’t immediately comfortable with her, or more so… the thought of who she was. She was my boyfriends, or ex-boyfriend, therapist and she was the one who held the key to his recovery. Chris trusted her with some of his darkest secrets, secrets I didn’t even fully understand, so in a way I was almost intimidated by her. I couldn’t fully explain it if one put me on the spot and attempted to force me to. All I knew was that was then and this was now and now… now I was sitting across from her staring down into my lap, waiting for her to explain to me what our meeting was about today.

“How are you today Sy’Diyah?” She asked in her infamously delicately soft, yet pristine voice.

“I’m okay… how are you?”

“Very well, thank you,” She smiled warmly, “And baby?”

I couldn’t really control the bright beam I returned or the way my hands naturally fled to my protruding bump. The ongoing nausea that never really subsided as my doctor claimed it would, the fatigue that was beginning to become too much of a norm in this trimester, and even my nonstop and uncontrollable emotions were all absolutely worth it all for this little angel.

“Doctor said he’s a little underweight, but… otherwise healthy.” I said with a smile.

“Ahh, he?” Her right brow lifted with curiosity and I quickly shook my head.

“Oh no, I still don’t know the gender. Sorry… that just sort of slips out sometimes.”

Her smiled widened and she slowly shook her head, linking her hand together as expected on the surface of her desk.

“Understandable. Well, I’m very glad to hear of and see your progress. Your glow is ever-present… you’re just stunning.”

I could feel the immediate burn in my cheeks as she continued to stare at me. I still hadn’t quite gathered enough courage to handle the constant commentary on this glow that I just couldn’t seem to find… but it still left me blushing like a school girl whenever I heard it.

“I still haven’t really figured out what part of me is glowing, but… thank you.” I giggled sheepishly.

Dr. Yates joined in the laughter and after a while we both quieted down and I waited silently to hear what she had to say.

“Well today’s meeting will be brief. I just wanted to update you on the status of Christopher.” She started as she simultaneously sifted through a few papers laid out on her desk. I couldn’t deny or ignore the fluttering of my heart and the quick dance the butterflies did through my belly at the mere mentioning of his name. Of course I hadn’t spoken to him at all lately and I honestly hadn’t spoke of him much either since the talk I had with my dad. That day when I told him about the pregnancy and expressed how much I missed Chris, I nearly fell completely apart on the couch right in my dad’s arms. I didn’t like that feeling… didn’t even like the thought of almost losing complete control over my emotions. I’d been on such a good track with controlling my emotions and it was all because I basically didn’t allow myself to think about him, but I knew it was only a matter of time until I would be forced to.

“He’s been doing exceptionally well. There’s something there, with him… something I hadn’t really seen upon his initial arrival at the institution. It’s quite easy to tell that he lives life with much more purpose now…” I could feel myself frowning the more she spoke and for a while I really did start to think that she was perhaps insinuating that he was doing much better… because I was no longer in his life.

“Before you allow your thoughts to get too carried away,” She chuckled with a shake of her head, “Since your revelation to him of the pregnancy, his progression has simply been phenomenal.”

I’m sure Dr. Yates could definitely see it the moment it happened… but I sighed a quiet sigh of relief as soon as she finished that sentence and the smile on her face widened.

“He has had a few bumps along the way, but I had no real expectation of him being one hundred percent cured immediately. This type of situation, his particular situation, is one that must be handled with extreme care and caution and there was literally no way he could have made a drastic change overnight. But being able to see him trying, to see him working hard and following the plan that myself as well as Dr. Stevenson have put forth for him, just to witness the growth that has occurred during his time there… it has been truly rewarding and extraordinary.”

“With that being said,” She went on after a few seconds of calculated silence, “The next step to his recovery process would be an early release into the care of his mother to begin his home treatment plan.”

This time I frowned deeply and it remained, even after she gave me a reassuring smile “What?”

“Yes, the progress that he’s made at this point has really helped to expedite the process… it’s quite fantastic really, isn’t it?”

The thought of stopping my head from shaking left to right didn’t even cross my mind as I frowned, if at all possible, deeper “How is this a good thing?”

The confident smile that was on her face faltered and she blinked several times as if caught off guard by my question “Well… I believe that this will be very beneficial to him.”

“How? How will it benefit him to leave the one place that’s supposed to help him?”

Her smile was completely gone now and she stared at me awkwardly, almost as if she was too stunned to say anything immediately. Truthfully I hadn’t meant to even respond the way that I did, I intended to leave those thoughts quietly tucked away in my mind but they just… blurted out without my consent. And if I wasn’t mistaken, I could feel myself getting riled up the longer she sat there looking at me.

“I’ve monitored his behavior… I have record of the consistency he displays when in a comfortable home and family orientated environment. That is where he needs to be… that is where he will be most successful in his recovery.”

“Are you just purposefully forgetting the incident that happened in your last one on one session with him? Are you forgetting that he almost hurt you… his therapist? And you somehow think if you take him out of a restrained environment that can actually contain him when he blacks out, he’ll be better? What happens if he gets in that house with Ms. Joyce and loses himself and she’s the only one there to stop him?” I was barking the questions at her left and right and though she maintained a poker face and remained poised, she looked less than enthused to hear all the negativity spewing from my lips.

“Sy’Diyah, I just thought that… I thought you’d be elated to hear this news. I… I thought you’d want this more than anyone.” She muttered softly.

“And I thought that as his therapist, and one of the most renowned therapists in Virginia, you would know that someone like him doesn’t need to be unleashed into society right now.” I snapped and immediately thereafter pursed my lips and shut my eyes. I knew she was still looking at me, probably thoroughly shocked by my outburst but maintaining her calm nature because I’m sure she’d dealt with outbursts much worse than some emotional pregnant girl’s. Lifting my left elbow onto the arm rest of my chair, I lowered my head down onto my hand and covered part of my face with my fingers. My emotions were beginning to brew… the same emotions I’d worked so hard to maintain control over. I could feel the brims of my eyes tingling beneath my closed lids and for a moment I wondered why now of all times had to be the one time that I became a cry baby.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered in almost less than a whisper.

“It’s okay…”

“No, that was very rude of me and you mean absolutely no harm… I’m sorry. I just… I…” Before I could even think to get control over myself, I whimpered one time and the tears soon followed. I could hear movement across from me, but I was quickly beginning to lose myself to my emotions and I swiftly lifted my other hand and cupped my face in my palms before Dr. Yates could get a good look at the waterworks.

“Sweet heart, it’s alright.” Her voice was calm and soothing… almost too calm and soothing and for whatever reason, it triggered even more tears than the ones already trickling down my cheeks. I didn’t even think it was possible to cry hard while you were already crying hard!

She was at my side now in the leather chair beside me and she pulled it as close as she could get so that she could lean in close and caress my back as I continued to weep like a spoiled child. My mind roved over what she’d said… the part about Chris being released from that institute soon. In all actuality I was truly afraid for him to leave the place. Who was to say he was well enough to be back in his mother’s house? But more than the actual fear that I had for him to be back in society… I was nervous. Petrified even. I hadn’t seen him since the observational therapy session back in December and I hadn’t been allowed to speak to him since then either. The last actual encounter I’d had with him was when I marched with all the purpose in the world to his dorm room to break up with him, resulting in him having his way with my body in a way that still left me shuddering from the memory alone. And the absolute honest to God truth… I was scared to see him again.

While sitting there, crying and lost in my thoughts, my tears actually slowed down and I sniffled continuously to make sure they wouldn’t come back. Dr. Yates’s caressing hand began to slow down until she pulled back completely and I opened my now swollen eyes into a squint to see that she was sticking a box of Kleenex in my face expectantly.

“Thank you.” I mumbled hoarsely.

“If I would have known that I would trigger your emotions in such a way, perhaps I would have presented that conversation a bit more somberly.” She chuckled softly, referring to the chipper way in which she’d laid the news on me.

“Oh no, it’s okay. I just… I really shouldn’t have even reacted that way. I’m sorry…”

"You do not have to apologize on behalf of your emotions. I expect that here… I expect the emotions. Emotions are always welcome here with open arms.”

She got a soft laugh out of me then and after a few more sniffles and a quick blow of my nose into the Kleenex bundled in my hand, I released a deep sigh and glanced over at her with a tight-lipped smile.

“Um, can I… can I share something with you?” I asked cautiously.

“Anything at all.” She didn’t seem to be making much effort to go back around to her desk chair and in a way, I was thankful. She was going to give me her undivided attention with no notebook or recording device to intervene.

“I’m scared for him to leave… because I’m scared to see him.”

“I understand. One of the last major accounts that you had with him was the breakup, so I can only imagine…”

Shaking my head before she could finish her sentence, I nibbled nervously on the inside of my bottom lip and stared down into my lap “One of the last major accounts I had with him was sex against my will… aggressive sex… that wasn’t consensual…”

If I had turned at that exact moment to face her, I’m sure I would have seen her entire body go rigid with shock. But even though I wasn’t facing her, and I didn’t intend to through the duration of this conversation, I could still sense it. That wasn’t the route that this conversation was supposed to go… and I’m sure she hadn’t expected that at all.

“Sy’Diyah…”

“Chris raped me Dr. Yates. He raped me… then he tried to kill himself because he did it.” There it was… for the first time since I merely mentioned the topic to Destani, I addressed it fully from start to finish… the entire cause and effect. And somehow once the truth spilled from my lips, I could feel a weight lifting from my shoulders. I didn’t burst into tears like I’d expected and for a while, Dr. Yate’s didn’t say anything.

“I… I’m very sorry that that happened to you,” She paused and I wondered exactly what was on her mind and I prayed that she didn’t think I was lying, “I understand how it feels to be forced into a situation like that.”

Slowly I turned to face her and I stared at her… and the sudden saddened expression on her face. She gave me a smile, but the dismay was still clearly evident all over her face.

“I can sympathize with you, in a way Sy’Diyah. Well I can sympathize with that part of your situation… we all have a story.”

She shifted a bit in her seat then her hand suddenly projected out to me and I looked down at it as she gripped my right hand in hers “My story entails a man who I thought I could trust and perhaps even love because… I was told he was going to be my new stepfather. And it also entails a girl from the age of ten years old being forced to endure such terror for six years straight until she gained enough courage to run away and never look back.”

I gasped sharply as I turned to face her only to witness her somehow manage to school her sad features so that she could maintain her warm smile. Her eyes were glossed and it was as though I could see the years of pain and hurt right in her stare, but I could tell she’d spent quite a bit of time learning to control her emotions… unlike me.

“But yours… your story entails a beautiful young lady who, because of the decision to love and love hard at such a young age, has been wrapped in a whirlwind of emotions and love and fear and angst and all things far from her control because of a passion that I’ve never even witnessed amongst couples older than I. You… you were dealt a hand that seems to have been out of your control because of the way in which you fell so drastically in love, it seems as if it was destiny really. And that’s okay, isn’t it? To fall so deeply in love, that you sometimes feel as though you are simply ill… that all thought and rationale goes right out the window because this love is what’s leading you on this journey through life.”

Of course I sat there with silent warm tears now rolling down my flushed cheeks with her hand still clutching mine. I was sure that I would have trembled right out of my seat if it weren’t for her grasp… everything she was saying had me trembling from the inside out.

“How difficult must it be to feel so madly in love with someone, the same someone who… shares the face of the one who harmed you in such a way. I cannot begin to comprehend that feeling Sy’Diyah… there probably aren’t many who can. The trauma, it’s there… it’s etched into your body and your mind. The mental and emotional reeling… it won’t be a walk in the park to overcome if not for you, but for the sake of your unborn seed. The only truth that I can bestow upon you is that it is your decision, and yours solely, whether to proceed forward with anything pertaining to Christopher at this point.”

It was too much to bear, really. The damned truth that she was reciting into my ear. It flowed so fluidly from her lips and truly made me sit there for a moment to appreciate her craft and innate ability to console someone while guiding them just precisely enough to help them to console themselves. I felt like, perhaps the longer she spoke so beautifully to me the easier it would be for me to cope with all that my life and his had become.

“Will I be a fool for loving him Dr. Yates?” I asked in an unsteady whisper, “Will I be stupid for trying to make it work again?”

Her hand slowly slithered out in front of me and I watched as she pulled my limp right hand up from my lap and raised it to press against the left side of my chest “Ask your heart that… for I am not the one who holds the key to it.”

I knew what she meant… I understood it completely. And there was no further explanation or discussion about Chris and his premature release. She let me know then that the ball was in my court and she would not coach me into any decision. I had to figure out now or never whether I wanted to go back and pray that things worked out between us… or whether I wanted to let go of the greatest love I was sure I would ever know… my happiness.

--

 Life continued on as normally as it possibly could, because well… it had to. I kept up with my studies as if it was a job and never slowed my pace with the tutoring sessions. It really did wonders to help keep me distracted from my life and my thoughts. I still hadn’t made much of an effort to be around anyone, especially Destani. For some reason, I truly believed the only thing she would have to offer me was pity and that I did not want. So I continued to do everything that I could to avoid her… until today.

She called and texted a few times sporadically throughout the day, but she must have grown tired of my lack of responses and even as I sat in my favorite hidden corner of the library drowning myself in textbooks and notes… she eventually managed to hunt me down, much to my surprise. In the most polite, yet demanding manner possible she even managed to con me into joining her for a girls night back at the room. But, again, much to my surprise the moment we set foot in our dorm room I was yet again caught off guard by the presence of Cammie, Angel, and Tawny who I’d seen even less of than Destani. They gave me a solid thirty minutes to get spruced up and somewhat decent before dragging me right back out of the dorm and off of campus completely. Somehow we ended up at some intimate restaurant with dimly lit lights and live jazz music. To my own surprise, the longer I sat there with them talking and laughing and basking in the ambiance of their positivity, the more I actually began to regret neglecting them so much.

The girls were so patient and understanding though and they barely even made mention of any of what was going on. The only thing they could focus on for much of the night was this over dramatized glow they swore I had and the baby bump.

“Girl just looking at you lowkey make a bitch wanna get pregnant too. I’m telling you, you were gorgeous before but you are fine as fuck now!” Angel exclaimed as she causally leaned back in her seat across the table from me. I laughed and shook my head at her because she was honestly just pulling my leg now.

“I would really hope you wouldn’t decide to go get knocked up because you think it makes women look better Angel. I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” I laughed.

“No, no boo… what she means is looking at you make a bitch wanna get pregnant because you make it look good. Not all pregnant bitches turn out to be fine as fuck.” Destani cackled loudly, tossing a hand up to her right to high five a snickering Cammie. The entire table erupted into laughter then and I could only continue to shake my head at their antics.

“When is your due date love?” Cammie asked after they took a moment to settle down.

“July fifteenth.” I smiled broadly and held my head high then, because I was always thrilled and proud to talk about my little bun.

“You know what you’re having yet?” Angel asked.

Eyeing her quietly, I shook my head with a sheepish smirk. I was getting further and further along and was constantly questioned about the sex of the baby, but I refused to find out until Chris was at my side. Of course there was no way I could stop or slow down time to allow him to be right there with me like I knew he would want… so the least I could do was save the gender reveal just for him.

“She’s waiting for baby daddy to find out.” Destani said, cutting her eyes at me with a smirk.

“Speaking of, how’s he doing Sy?”

Turning to face Tawny, I sat there for a moment contemplating exactly how to respond to her “I’m honestly not sure.”

“What you mean you not sure? I figured you probably talked to him every day, at least twice a day even.” Cammie giggled as Angel chuckled softly and nodded and Tawny stared at me completely confused.

“Well I… I’m not really allowed to speak to him. It’s a part of his treatment plan…” The largest knot was beginning to form in my throat and it felt almost too painful to complete that sentence. I didn’t want to cry because I’d been doing that entirely too often lately, but having to sit there delving into a topic I’d been trying to avoid for the past few months wasn’t something I was really prepared for.

“Are we gonna order food now or what? The waiter is on his way back over here.” Destani blurted before anyone had time to utter another word. I shot her a sorrowful glance as I breathed a sigh of relief. She literally just saved me from making a fool of myself because I was sure if the conversation continued on, I would simply fall apart at the seams and I was beyond tired of people seeing me as such an emotional wreck.

The waiter eventually arrived to take our orders and after assuring us that our meals would arrive within twenty minutes, he sauntered on about his way.

“I visited with Dr. Yates earlier,” I started, simply because the news that she’d shared with me couldn’t be contained much longer, “She actually told me that he’s gonna be released soon.”

The girls all erupted with excitement… well the girls minus Destani. She didn’t have to utter a word for me to sense her apprehension. The same apprehension I’d felt the moment I learned of this momentous news. But I guess perhaps I’d now come to terms with it… the reality that sooner or later I’d be facing him again.

“That’s awesome Sy! I know he’ll be thrilled to be able to finally be active in the pregnancy.” Tawny beamed. I often forgot that before we learned of our kinship, she’d become pretty close to Chris and she did indeed view him as a close friend.

“Yeah from what ya’ll have said, I don’t know that I know any other nineteen-year-old niggas who would be excited about having a new baby. But that boy loves everything about yo ass girl… he’ll probably love your placenta once you push that out too!” Cammie cackled. Once her comment fully registered, we all burst into laughter that had me wiping at the corners of my eyes. Even Destani giggled quietly to herself before abruptly gathering herself and clearing her throat.

“Sy, where is he going when they release him?” She asked.

“To his moms.”

“So… when will he come back to school?” Tawny asked quietly.

With a sigh I nibbled on the corner of my lip and stared absently across the table “I don’t know Tawny… I don’t know.”

Exactly twenty minutes later our steaming plates of food arrived and we fell into casual banter as we ate. It was a genuine night of fun for me, hanging out with my girls. No chaos of weaseling our way into some loud and obnoxious club, no worries of unnecessary hangovers the next day, no additional drama whatsoever… just a nice quiet night of good food, good conversation, and plenty of catching up. I missed this with them and as I sat there nibbling into my food, I couldn’t help but glance around the table at each of the girls and smile softly to myself as I recited a quick and silent prayer to thank God for such dedicated and beautiful friends.

 --

Once we finished up our meals and sat quietly slumped in our seats for a while allowing our food to digest, I successfully managed to whine just enough to get the girls to drop me off back at the dorms before they made their way back out into the night to head to the movies. They begged and pleaded to get me to stick it out with them, but I’d learned only a few months into the pregnancy that my body simply could not last the way it used to. For no reason at all other than the fact that it was now pitch black outside, I was dog tired and ready for a soothing shower and a night of Netflix until I dozed off.

After they dropped me off, and made a point to make sure I made it all the way upstairs to the room, I tossed my purse down on my bed and immediately stripped down to my bare skin and baby bump to head into the restroom. On the way there, I couldn’t help but stop at the mirror just outside the bathroom to gawk at my reflection. My head tilted curiously as I stared at my morphing frame and I felt a smile curl onto my lips at the sight. With my hands planted on each side of the hardening bump, I adored the feel of it against my fingertips. I even imagined the father of my little seed standing there behind me, grinning from ear to ear as he reached around me and gripped lovingly onto the bump… our bump.

Lately, I tried desperately to keep thoughts of him at bay. The only way I could keep myself composed and not delve into a downward spiral of depression was only if I simply didn’t think of him at all. It wasn’t as though I forgot about him, because that was something I couldn’t even do if I wanted to. I just… I missed him, so much. Yet, when I learned of the news of Dr. Yates wanting to get him released early because she no longer felt the institute was where he belonged, I was scared out of my mind of the prospect of him being back in the real world. My feelings toward the situation were like night and day… on one hand I feared for his release and the havoc that he could potentially wreak. But on the other… I missed him. I missed every little thing about him. And most of all, I missed the feeling of him holding me, or just touching me and while he held me… telling me how much he loved me.

I promised myself I wouldn’t shed another tear any time soon, because I’d spent so much time crying I was sure if even one tear fell I’d completely dehydrate my body. But what I hadn’t quite realized was that I was standing there with my eyes closed, relishing in the thoughts swarming my mind. I’d gotten so caught up in my own fantasy that I longed to fulfill and I allowed myself just this once to think of him… I could feel the heat tingling beneath my closed lids. By the time I opened them, a single tear drifted down my right cheek and I felt the strongest urge to unleash a hundred more.

With a deep and frustrated sigh, I roughly swiped a hand up against my cheek and abruptly swung around to enter the small restroom. I only lasted in there for a solid seven minutes… didn’t even bother to properly wash my hair which had become damp from the steam of the hot shower. My mind was too far gone down memory lane and the longer I remained isolated in the tiny space, the more I could feel my emotions brewing. I refused it though… I refused to fall victim to the pain of the memories of the love of my life. Chris… my Charlie… the man of my dreams… the monster of my nightmares. He haunted my every thought while I stood in the steady stream of the water and I needed to escape it and fast.

Shutting off the water before I could fully wash the suds from my shoulders, I stepped out into the open space just outside the shower and grabbed a plush white towel to snuggle myself in. The moment I swung the door open and stepped into the chilly air of the room, I could hear the muffled sound of my ringtone from the other side of the room. With a huff I took off barefooted toward my bed and quickly plucked the device out of my purse just before it neared its last ring.

“Hello.” I greeted completely out of breath.

“Hi baby girl! You alright? You sound like you been running.” The sweet sultry voice of my aunt rang out into my ear, instantly leaving me to break out into a beaming grin.

“Hey Auntie. I’m fine… I just got out of the shower.”

“Are you at the dorm alone?” She asked curiously.

“Yes ma’am. The girls left just a bit ago to catch a late movie. They tried to talk me into going, but I’m entirely too tired and I’m sure I would have fallen asleep before we even reached the theater.” I giggled.

“Honey, are you sure you’re alright?” The tone of her voice combined with her lack of laughter was just enough of a clue that she was well on her way to what she often referred to as a ‘motherly rant’, “I don’t want you just hanging out around that campus alone. It would be nice if at least one of the girls could be around with you. And why are you so tired Sy’Diyah? Have you been sleeping and resting up in your down time like I told you to? Baby, Auntie’s not fussing… I’m just trying to make sure you and my little bun are taken care of.”

She ended her rant with yet another signature phrase… the one where she claimed she wasn’t fussing. I couldn’t help but smirk as she went on ‘not fussing’ at me. Just knowing that she cared enough to go out of her way to make sure I was okay and well taken care of warmed my heart and made me appreciate her even more.

“I’m okay Auntie, I promise. I’ve always been one to get pretty tired as soon as the sun goes down, I guess it’s just been happening a lot more with all these extra hormones. But I wouldn’t lie to you, I swear I wouldn’t… everything is okay down here and I don’t want you worrying about me.”

“Baby girl, I’m sorry but you know I will always worry about you; especially now with the baby on the way. You know the offer still stands Sy’Diyah… as soon as you give me the word, your father and I will be there in a heartbeat to get you packed up and back home with me.”

I sighed and plopped down on the edge of my bed. She was starting to do this to me on a daily basis and I was really wondering when she would give it up. I knew she meant well and she was only looking out for my best interest, but I also didn’t want her to feel like I wasn’t capable of taking care of myself. The day that I visited my dad and revealed the news to him and Diana, I received a call from my aunt the same night asking if I had anything to tell her. Apparently, in true Diana fashion, she was just so overwhelmingly excited she contacted my aunt immediately to discuss the news. What she hadn’t quite realized, however, was that I had never gotten around to actually telling her myself. The moment I fessed up to her and explained just how far along I was, I almost thought that she’d hung up on me because she got so quiet on the phone. It scared me initially because she ended up cutting the conversation short without even bothering to discuss the pregnancy.

She waited two days before calling me back and bawling to me about how sorry she was for reacting that way. She explained that she was utterly shocked to hear the news and that she was honestly disappointed at first and blamed herself for me ending up pregnant at such a young age. Not to mention her fear of me possibly having to raise a child alone because no one knew what the future held for Chris. These were her fears, but what I expressed to her that day was that I shared the very same fears. Perhaps no one fully understood how thoroughly terrified I was the moment Destani read the positive results of that pregnancy test to me. No one knew of the countless nights of sleep I faced because my Charlie wasn’t here with me and I had no idea when I would get him back. My fears seemed to go on forever and they really didn’t seem to have an end in sight, but through it all I knew I had to hold it together no matter what… for the sake of me and my baby.

But all fears and concerns aside, she said that she was ultimately happy for me and over time, her excitement quickly began to rear its head… along with her constant need to check in on me every day… and her unrelenting habit of trying to talk me into coming back home.

“Auntie,” My voice had dropped to nearly a whisper as I shut my eyes and sighed through my nose, “I’m fine here. Everything will be okay.”

She released a sigh of defeat, as she did every time I declined her offer “Well I won’t continue to hound you about it Sy’Diyah. You’re old enough and mature enough to make your own decisions and remember that I will support you through it all, okay?”

“Thank you Auntie. I really appreciate that.”

“Now, onto the real purpose of this call… Chris’s release party!” I could feel her grin practically radiating through the phone and though any other time I would have been smiling just from the thought of her smiling, I found myself frowning at what she’d said.

“What? What do you mean his release party? Is he being released soon?” I nearly catapulted into panic mode at the thought alone. Dr. Yates had merely mentioned to me the prospect of him leaving the institute soon, but nothing she said seemed definite.

“Yes! Well, according to Joyce anyway. His final hearing with the committee up at the institute is in a few days and they’ll find out for sure then. Joyce did mention that the preliminary hearing didn’t go as smoothly as possible, but his in house therapist and his therapist there at the school have been working nonstop to ensure he goes home to Joyce. I have such a good feeling about this… I have been praying like crazy for that boy and I just know the Lord is here to answer all of our prayers to bring that baby home!”

There was no way I could tell her how awful that news was, at least to me. I didn’t want to add anything else to her plate to stress over because of me, but I also couldn’t bring myself to relish in the same excitement she seemed to have.

“What day is the final hearing Auntie?” I asked, on a much more somber note than her.

“I think it’s on Tuesday, if I’m not mistaken. And if they release him, he’ll get to go home on Saturday.”

“Well that… that’s good. I um… I hope everything goes well.” I mumbled. However, my aunt seemed so caught up in all the hype of Chris going home, she didn’t even seem to notice my lack of enthusiasm.

“And, here’s the greatest part… Joyce even reminded me that you still don’t know the sex of the baby because you’ve been waiting for him to find out. So she suggested that we make it like a surprise reveal party for ya’ll too!”

It was then, and only then, when those last few words left her mouth did I feel a dollop of excitement. The prospect of being on the receiving end of him when he walked into the house the day he got released… standing there watching him and the surprise that was sure to be on his face, genuinely thrilled me. The thought of being able make his first few moments home one of the greatest moments of his life by revealing to him the gender of the love child we’d created together left me sitting there smiling like a fool.

“… And we were thinking maybe a backyard barbeque and we could set up some music. Not anything too big, but we wanna make sure we have every single one of his loved ones there… oh he’ll just love that!” My aunt continued to ramble on about the plans her and Ms. Joyce clearly already had in the works. I hadn’t heard much of what she’d said because my mind was still clouded with the completely fabricated image of how Chris would react. For once I felt like I could finally have a reason to be absolutely thrilled to have him back home and I clung to that reason, because I felt utterly ashamed of the fear that I had of seeing him again.

“Anyway, let me stop talking your ear off and let you get some rest. But I’ll be calling you as soon as we hear something after his hearing to get your travel arrangements all situated. I know you’re happy baby, because I'm happy… hell, we’re all just happy to have that boy home. He don’t belong in no crazy house… he’ll be just fine right at home with his mama and we’ll make sure he’s perfectly taken care of.”

I giggled softly as my aunt continued to ramble on and once she finally wished me sweet dreams and bid me adieu, I eventually tucked myself away in my bed and allowed the sweet thoughts of my love to lull me to sleep.

[portraitoftheoddity]

“Steve in CA:CW only thinks about Bucky!” / “Steve broke up the Avengers for Bucky!” 

I can’t count the number of times I have seen these phrases or variants thereof uttered in fandom, and it’s starting to make me a little bit bananas. So I’m gonna break down the issues with this line of thinking. 

First off, it isn’t true at all. Yes, Steve has a strong emotional response to issues involving Bucky, and yes, Bucky is a key piece on the chessboard in CA:CW. Decisions are made regarding him that impact the eventual split of the Avengers. But ultimately, Steve’s choices in the movie are rational and based on Steve’s ethics, Steve’s unwillingness to allow pointless death, and Steve’s mistrust of institutions after having been burned twice. All else being equal, and Bucky not being a factor, it is hard to imagine Steve making wholly different choices.

Steve goes after Bucky when he’s accused of bombing the UN, but does so to bring him in, and because there is a kill order on Bucky. Bucky is a goddamn living weapon, and will not go quietly into that good night; Steve has no way of knowing at that point if Bucky will use lethal force or not against those trying to apprehend him, and so goes after him because Steve has a better chance than anyone else of bringing him in without loss of life. Steve going after Bucky alone is a course of action he feels compelled to take not only to save Bucky’s life, but the lives of everyone else involved, at risk to his own. Steve is very explicit about this in his conversation with Natasha ( “If he's this far gone, then... I should be the one to bring him in.” “Why?” “Because I'm the one least likely to die trying”). At this point, no other Avengers are involved; this is Steve’s choice and Steve’s action, and not a determining factor on the fate of the team. 

While Bucky’s lack of due process is pretty clearly upsetting to Steve, he is still willing to consider the Accords even after that whole incident, and even with his skepticism about the Accords’ definition of accountability. He doesn’t wholly back out until he finds out Wanda is being kept under house arrest without her knowledge and without any justification beyond her perceived ‘dangerousness’ (keep in mind, the incident in Lagos is because Crossbones set off a bomb; more people would have died without Wanda’s intervention. The hate toward her in-universe is a result of media spin and fear of powered people, because her powers weren’t enough to save everyone. It’s worth wondering: had it been one of Tony’s automated suits that didn’t get the bomb clear in time, would we be seeing the same furor?). This is understandably upsetting to a guy who lived through a period of seeing people interned and worse based on public fear of certain minorities, and has seen how it can escalate into absolute horror; while Wanda’s imprisonment is cushy, as Tony points out, it sets a profoundly disturbing precedent. 

When Steve and Team Cap face off against Team Iron Man at the airport, it’s because they need to get to Siberia -- not because Steve just wants to run off with Bucky. Steve attempts to explain the situation (“...And there are 5 more super soldiers just like him. I can't let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can't”), and Tony makes it clear he has no intention of listening at that point (“All right, I've run out of patience. Underoos!”).  Steve is left with no choice but to fight his way out to stop what Zemo’s trail has led them to believe is an incredibly serious and imminent threat to global safety, which Tony is unwilling to listen to, and which Ross is later unwilling to take seriously.  

The film’s initial marketing (and hyper-focus on the eyeroll-worthy “he’s my friend”/”so was I” exchange) plus the lens of Stucky shipping have actually done us a disservice, I think, by characterizing Steve as someone who makes all his choices around Bucky. But even with Bucky not being a factor, I honestly don’t think we’d see Steve make different choices when forced into this same situation and provided with the same intel. With the threat of brainwashed super soldiers being unleashed and no time to wait for the UN to get its ass in gear -- and that only happening IF Ross could be convinced to listen -- he would probably still head to Siberia to try to stop it himself should no one else listen and be willing to act. If Wanda was being imprisoned and a precedent set for interning enhanced people who didn’t sign the Accords, I think he’d still be opposed to signing. Even before Bucky is ever a factor, Steve has legitimate concerns about the Accords -- Accountable to whom? What’s the process? What happens to people who don’t sign? What guarantee do they have that the Avengers won’t be used for national agendas?

Maybe Tony would have been more willing to listen to Steve if Bucky weren’t involved. But Steve is actually responding pretty rationally throughout, and being honest with himself about what he thinks he can and can’t promise in good faith.

Tony, on the other hand, is painted by many fans as someone who is making choices from a rational, reasonable place, but if we look at what is said and done canonically... the opposite appears to be true?

While unquestionably an intellectually brilliant man, Tony is pretty consistently characterized as someone who reacts from a place of emotion and impulse rather than from a place of detached intellectual analysis. It’s part of what makes him an interesting character, and makes him diverge from the ‘aloof genius’ archetype we see with Reed Richards and a number of other super-geniuses of the Marvel universe. He makes a lot of choices -- good and bad -- based on strong feelings and gut reactions rather than thinking things through. Sometimes this means throwing caution to the winds and setting a whole new ethical course for his company. And sometimes this means accidentally inventing a murderbot. 

Tony straight up tells Steve that he wants to sign the Accords to get Pepper back while still doing his Iron Man shtick ( “I never stopped. Cause the truth is I don't wanna stop. I don't want to lose her. I thought maybe the Accords can split the difference.”) And he only gets involved with the Accords after being made to feel guilty when ambushed by Miriam. Tony's support of the Accords stems from his personal guilt, and personal motivations to get Pepper back more than any consideration of longterm, far-reaching effects. We can see the lack of thought he’s put into this when Tony himself later goes completely rogue and ignores Ross (to whom he’s supposed to answer under the Accords), defying the very policies he’s been pushing because they become inconvenient in a way he didn’t anticipate. We also see it when he admits he didn’t know the rogue Avengers would be thrown into the RAFT, implying he didn’t investigate the ramifications of the Accords fully. The timeframe of the Accords is rushed, with the Avengers given an ultimatum on an absurd deadline, and Tony’s eagerness to soothe his guilt and repair his relationship drives him to help force them into that scenario -- where a schism is more or less an inevitability. 

And contrary to the narrative that the marketing team seemed to push and that a lot of fans on both sides cling to, it isn’t Steve’s reaction in this conflict that comes from a place of emotional impulsivity due to Bucky. 

In fact, the most visceral, emotional, irrational decision made in regards to Bucky in the course of the movie? Is made by Tony. 

Now, I can’t honestly blame him for wanting to kill Bucky after seeing the footage of Howard and Maria’s deaths -- I would straight up murder anyone who laid a finger on my mom, no matter the situation, so I have a LOT of sympathy. But while it’s understandable, it is not excusable. Bucky did not have any agency as the Winter Soldier. He was a brainwashed torture victim with no free will; the culpability for Howard and Maria’s deaths lies on the HYDRA handler who sent the Winter Soldier after them. And Tony knows this. But he responds from a place of pain and emotion and tries to kill Bucky anyway -- because he’s hurting and wants to make someone else hurt too, and also, according to the Russoes’ commentary, to hurt Steve. 

And it’s that final violence, with Bucky and Steve forced to fight Tony for Bucky’s life, that drives the ultimate wedge in the Avengers. Tony had seen the flaws in the Accords and been willing to defy Ross; Steve finally had the opportunity to explain the threats he was dealing with and have Tony listen; they were ready to confront Zemo together. Up to that point, reconciliation and reunification of the Avengers had been a very tangible, present possibility. But once again, Tony backs Steve into a corner with an ultimatum: before, it was his ethics or his legal standing. Now, it’s Tony’s friendship, or Bucky’s life. And because Steve is obviously not willing to let Tony straight-up murder Bucky to satisfy his vengeance, that reconciliation is taken off the table.

So yes, the Avengers are ultimately still broken up at the end of CA:CW because of an irrational decision made about Bucky.

But it’s not made by Steve. 

[avaantares]

My thoughts on Torchwood: Aliens Among Us

Minimal spoilers. I’ll discuss themes and events, but try to avoid any major reveals.

Putting the rest after the jump for length and spoiler protection.

I debated whether to even post this, because I still haven’t quite made up my mind whether or not I actually like S5. I mean, the production values of the episodes are excellent, as usual (Big Finish knows what they’re about in that department), and the performances are great, and even the ongoing series hook is interesting -- but I think the problem is that I’m not actually enjoying the direction the series is headed. It’s done well, but it doesn’t quite feel like Torchwood to me. And that’s not just because more than half the original cast is missing; it’s a shift in something vital and central to the series. Its purpose, perhaps. I’m still digesting the episodes I’ve listened to. (More on that in a bit.)

Anyway, I’ll start with my take on the characters and their new roles:

Jack - Apparently having exhausted all his potential development in previous stories, Jack is relegated almost to the background of this series. He makes the usual lewd jokes and sleeps around and dies when the plot demands it, but he’s practically a cardboard cutout, doing Action Things when necessary and coasting on listeners’ affection for him from previous stories. After four episodes, there’s still no evidence that he’ll have anything resembling a character arc, which is massively disappointing.

Jack also shows some disturbing behavior here -- namely, he pseudo-stalks and seduces a man he’s considering hiring on at Torchwood just to get more information about him, which is not only dishonest and manipulative, but is a REALLY FREAKING CREEPY thing for a potential boss to do, especially if the hiring had gone through.

But no worries on that account, since Jack then bars said potential employee from Torchwood because he made a mistake in the field and got civilians killed. Jack cites the Doctor’s “no second chances” line and pontificates about how he won’t tolerate people dying on his watch. This seems out of character coming from the man who forgave Gwen for unleashing an alien gas that killed dozens of civilians, forgave Ianto for betraying them all and getting two innocent people killed in the Hub, forgave Owen Harper for rebelling and putting a bullet through Jack’s brain, etc.... not to mention Jack’s own tendency to shoot first and apologize later, for which he was often criticized by both Gwen and the Doctor. Even if he’s changed his views on violence in the meantime, I can’t imagine him drawing such a hard line in the sand without at least turning it into a teaching experience. Jack is the king of second chances; it seems hypocritical for him to deny one to a panicked newcomer.

Gwen - I’ve seen several other people say that they didn’t recognize Gwen until the character identified herself at the end of the episode, and I had the same experience. Her Welsh accent seems much stronger than it was in the TV series. There may be plot reasons for that, or it may just be an inconsistency. (EDIT: I’ve since read that, due to plot reasons, Alexandria Riley is actually performing most of Gwen’s speaking parts, so the difference is definitely intentional.)

Gwen doesn’t seem to serve a significant purpose in the stories until the extreme end of episode 2, when she conducts the major reveal of what will be (I suspect) her ongoing story arc for the whole series. That subplot is by far the most compelling thing about this new series, and honestly is probably the only thing with enough hook to keep me listening.

Mr. Colchester - The spiritual successor to the conspicuously absent Ianto Jones, Mr. Colchester is the dry, longsuffering general support. In many ways he’s the most complex and developed of the new characters, and while it took me a bit to warm up to him, I quite like him now. (Of course, since he’s basically replacement-Ianto, that may explain why I enjoy his commentary so much.)

We’ve learned a bit about Mr. Colchester’s personal life, as well as just a sliver of backstory, and I hope that is setting up for some kind of series-long arc for him. I think he has a lot of undeveloped potential. I’m very curious to know exactly how he came to Torchwood.

Orr - Orr manages to be interesting despite the fact that their introduction scene feels a bit too much like Discourse(TM). (I described the scene to a friend as “Tumblr: The Audio Drama.”) As a gender- and biologically-fluid being, Orr can psychically tune in to entities to acquire information in a way I’ve never seen done before, and that leaves open a potential gold mine of story opportunities and mystery resolutions. However, since the two episodes in which Orr features are largely spent establishing their abilities, there’s still not much sign of a dynamic arc. It’s strongly suggested that they will become a full-time Torchwood operative, which should be... interesting, given that crew and their proclivities.

Tyler Steele - Let me put this on record right now: I do not like Tyler. At all. I wouldn’t mind if he got flattened by a spaceship.

Now, that doesn’t mean he’s a bad character -- sometimes the most compelling characters are ones you despise, and Tyler’s role in the story seems to be going in that direction -- but it does bother me that Jack seems intent on carrying on an ongoing sexual relationship with a character who is so morally questionable, disrespectful, self-serving, and generally kind of a jerk. I can’t imagine Jack putting up with that, no matter how good Tyler is in bed, unless we’re just going to undo the past ten years’ worth of Jack’s character development and kick him all the way back to the way he was with Captain John Hart.

Tyler himself is the only one of the new characters who does seem to have the setup for a dynamic story, which could be more interesting if they turn him into a villain or boost his moral grayness to have him play both sides. (Personally, I’d really like to see him waffle for a while, then cross a line and become unredeemable, forcing Jack to have to stop him. That would provide a nice characterization moment for Jack, too.)

Other Characters: Rhys and Mary Cooper (Gwen’s mother) get cameos, but that’s about it. At least two other named characters (Andy and Billis Manger) are coming back for the next set, so we’ll hope for an expanded cast next time.

Before I get critical, I do want to mention a few specifics that this series does well:

It’s implied that either there is no coffee allowed in the Hub, or no one is allowed to use Ianto’s coffee machine. Which is heartbreaking, but also gratifying, as it implies that Jack can’t bear to let that one piece of Ianto be replaced. Many of us were worried that Ianto would be forgotten or just garner a token mention, as he has in most series/publications set post-MD, but it’s nice to see actual evidence that they remember and mourn him.

It’s also suggested that Jack is still thinking constantly about Ianto, even years after he died. Which is small comfort after we’ve had to witness Jack getting it on with that creep Tyler multiple times, but at least Ianto hasn’t been erased completely.

The reveal of the subplot surrounding Gwen came as a complete shock to me. I often work sneaky plot things out beforehand, but I’ll confess, I did not see that one coming. (Others have pointed out that this plot element may have been foreshadowed in a previous episode...? But we’ll need more information about what’s actually going on before confirming that.)

I like that they’re operating out of the literally collapsing ruins of the Hub and are completely broke, even though it does raise some questions about EU continuity (we saw the Hub cleaned up after the explosion in Long Time Dead, and Gwen was trying to rebuild it in Forgotten Lives). It’s nice -- and thematically appropriate -- to have them huddling in a broken ruin of the past while trying to come to terms with the future.

Now, some thoughts on the story itself:

I’m really not sure how to approach this new world, where aliens populate Cardiff and are so far from secret that there are human protest groups lobbying in the streets to remove them. It acknowledges the events of Exodus Code and the Titan Comics series (I have major issues with that, too, but that’s another conversation entirely). At this point the series has split so far from the known Whoniverse that it has more in common with awkward American stepchild Miracle Day than with its own BBC parent series. I feel like we’re now trapped in a bubble universe that is never going to resolve with the original series of Torchwood.

Anyway... Cardiff is overrun by aliens, and apparently instead of Torchwood trying to protect humanity from alien threats, in this brave new Cardiff, Torchwood is trying to protect... the aliens? For motivations that remain unclear to me, in episode 2, Gwen and Mr. Colchester spend a whole night repeatedly putting their lives on the line to protect an alien from capture after they witness her eating innocent humans. Reluctantly, she claims, but the extremes they go to to protect her (including endangering human civilians and hospital staff) just don’t seem justified when she and her family are actual threats to humanity.

The ongoing story of S5 centers around the economic and political takeover of Cardiff from a particular race of aliens. It’s sinister enough, and provides a backdrop for multiple villain-of-the-week episodes, but there’s really no soul to it. Maybe that will change with future episodes, but I think this points to the main reasons I’m not really getting into this series as much as previous Big Finish Torchwood dramas:

Classic Torchwood was a character-driven series set against a dramatic (and often camp) space fantasy backdrop. At the end of the day, we didn’t care what kind of aliens were attacking Earth that week; we worried how Ianto processed his grief, wondered whether or not Owen actually had a heart under his flinty exterior, cheered the little moments when Jack opened up to his friends, and mourned when characters we had grown to care for sacrificed their lives in defense of the people of Cardiff and the world. The character development was the hook, and the episode plots, for the most part, were secondary.

This is one reason so many fans were disappointed in Miracle Day, which was more an American political thriller than space fantasy, and introduced new characters who were wooden and lacked compelling character arcs. The premise of Miracle Day was fascinating, but we couldn’t engage with the story the way we did with the gripping bureaucratic drama of Children of Earth because we were put off by MD’s flat, unlikable protagonists.

AAU, as well, is missing some of those critical elements that let the audience engage deeply with the story. While there are complex things happening in the political sphere, we come into S5 knowing nothing about the new characters, and the characters we do know seem too static. Gwen does get an interesting story hook, but not until the halfway mark of this boxed set.

In short, I just don’t care enough. I miss the depth and complexity of the original characters, and I miss the ongoing growth that made Jack and Gwen interesting. I don’t know the new characters well enough to feel strongly about what happens to them, and there is little indication that they will become dynamic over the course of the next few stories.

It’s a shame, because I love Torchwood and want more of it, but I just don’t feel like I’m getting proper Torchwood with these stories. I’ll probably give the next part of Aliens Among Us a try, but I’ll wait to see how it goes before deciding on the third set. it’s hard to justify the high price of the box set for a series I’m basically ambivalent about.

[jatamansi-arc]

So, the movie Split. Let’s talk about that. And before I dump my spoiler-laden commentary about it beneath the cut, let me say this: about 60% of the problems I have with this movie were about how the clips they used manipulated the previews into a ‘Villain with DID Kidnaps Some Kids!!! CRAZY STUFF HAPPENS YEEHAW!’

Completely ignoring all my critiques for a second, what Split is actually about, is an allegorical tale on how complicated the nature of trauma is on the human psyche. But, with that, I’m gonna cut the rest.

Fair warning, talk of sexual abuse and violence and mental illness below. 

The trick with the trailer, is that what it shows you are exclusively things that happen within the first 20 minutes of the film. This doesn’t absolve it of any of its actual problematic elements, which trust me, there are still a lot of them. Like... I don’t even know where to start levels of ‘a lot of them.’ But I think if it had been more honest about the content of the film, people would have had a much better idea of what to expect going in. It plays on the stigma to get you in. That’s gross as fuck. But at least it’s not like... two hours of torture porn, either?

Like I said, I wanted to watch it without giving any money, because I’m trained as a historian and it’s like... they really push that whole ‘come to your own conclusions with what the source gives you’ thing. Which, while we’re on that subject?

What this film is actually about, is trauma, triggers, and respect (or that lack thereof.) The writing of the DID is ridiculous and grossly problematic, and I won’t sit and sing praises of M. Night for it. You’re not gonna find that here. There were a lot of things that could have been done differently -- much better -- so that we didn’t have to rely on an already stigmatized population to tell the message the story is getting at. Because while this film exists as an allegory, and a metaphor in and of itself, most people are too oblivious to read between the cracks to see any of that. Just ‘PERSON WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES IS TOTS CRAY AND KIDNAPPING WHEEE!’

So, I’m gonna just lay out what the trailer doesn’t as bluntly as possible. 

The actual breakdown of the character of Kevin is this: beginning in late toddlerhood, Kevin begins to be viciously abused and beaten by his mother. This trauma eventually results in a split, to which Dennis is the first, who studies and learns what behaviours will keep Kevin’s mother at bay and develops characteristics in line with several anxiety disorders. As they grow older, Dennis, despite protecting Kevin from his mother’s abuse, begins to show problematic paraphilias. How the rest of his “alters” come about is not said in film, but what is later implied is that, once Kevin learns what are healthy coping mechanisms are from his therapist (before the professional portion of the relationship goes belly up, but I’ll get to that later), that his “healthier minded” alters do not allow Dennis to front for this reason. Nor do they allow Patricia to either, who is another alter, because of her manipulative and aggressive behaviour.

The alters (which I’m not going to put in quotes beyond the above, because it’s 3am, but assume they are there) you see in the trailers? Those are Dennis, Patricia, and Hedwig (who is apparently nine and easily impressionable.) Who they don’t show, but you see in the film, are a few other alters in diary entries that last about 30 seconds to a minute a piece:

Jade: Shown that this alter has diabetes and has to take insulin. Their journal entry is complaining about how hard it is to obtain insulin, because doctors refuse to take their condition seriously at all. Barry: Enjoys fashion and “has control” of the system. Or used to. Seems to be extroverted and is the one that their therapist seems to have most contact with. Is coded as being a gay, overly feminine guy very overtly, which ughhhhhh. Orwell: You see this alter twice and literally, speaking as an autistic person, if Orwell is not meant to be read as autistic, I will eat my own shoe. Obsessed with history and Islam, from what I gathered.

That said? Here’s some other relevant... idk. Relevant something:

#1) The girls Dennis kidnap, outside of Casey, are the very same girls that ended up triggering Kevin into this downward spiral. Doesn’t make what happens to them okay, and it certainly doesn’t explain the behaviour of a grown ass man, but there you go. They ‘prank’ Kevin, triggering him and forcing him to confront his traumas without prior warning. This fractures the system he has in place and allows for Dennis to take control, and sick of being mistreated, him and Patricia set about unleashing ‘The Beast.’

The Beast, by the way, is literally the personification of the anger and resentment Kevin feels at being abandoned by his father, because I imagine it meant many more years of abuse that could have been perhaps been avoided. He exists not in the ‘room with the chairs’ where all the alters seem to metaphorically sit, but in Kevin’s memories of the train station his father left him at. Basically, I don’t think he’s meant to be an “alter” insomuch as just a feral combination of trauma and rage that wasn’t properly treated or healed because the therapist was too busy preening over her own career.  

( Which, well, I was abandoned with my stepfather by my mother and abused sexually/physically/mentally/etc. repeatedly for years by him -- which lead to partial fragmenting of my personality -- and honestly, I think that’s the hardest part of my trauma/PTSD component to reconcile with? So maybe that’s why I’m reading it that way. )

#2) Casey is a survivor of sexual abuse and the talk of being ‘pure’ and ‘impure’ has less to do with what those words mean and more to do with the fact that The Beast is relating that she understands what trauma is capable of doing to someone. Literally, he spares her because ‘oh, you get it.’ Then he walks away, laughing. Alrighty. If you say so. 

The good thing that comes about from this, is that by tearing her clothes in the climax (which you think is kind of pedo-y fanservice at first)  exposes the scars she has from years of dealing with her own abusive guardian. They are noticed by the medical staff in the ambulance, and through her reluctance to go with her uncle, it is implied that they take her somewhere safe for her to recover. Which may be the only positive of this entire fucking movie, and even then it’s like jesus christ. 

#3) The therapist in this is hella flawed. Like she sits and glorifies her patients as showing us what the mind/body connection is capable of and at first you think maybe there is going to be a decent rebuttal to the fuckery of how it’s portrayed in Kevin at some point. Nope. She projects her own problems and desire to be recognized for greatness onto her patients and Dennis in particular misreads this as cues about the Beast. 

( I actually liked the therapist character for all the wrong reasons because I recently had a fucking psychologist who started projecting her feelings about her daughter onto me as a patient and how confusing and frustrating it was for me to navigate as someone who had been recently diagnosed with PTSD and had literally just survived almost being strangled to death a few months prior. )

So, that said? Is it a good movie? The story is weak and problematic as fuck but also not as literal as the trailer implies but also like worse in other ways? The upsides are that the acting is actually good and so is the cinematography. Literally probably the entire reason I sat through the whole thing and didn’t get bored at the 45 minute marker. That and I literally was confused for two hours by how well James pulls off a South Philadelphian accent (I lived in Camden for awhile, so.)

Basically? I’ve seen worse film-wise, and the acting is definitely like 10 Beefy James McAvoy Arms, but the marketing relied on the whole ‘mentally ill people are always violent’ thing to bait you, but then gives you a bunch of other problematic shit to irritate you with until you, too, develop Beefy James McAvoy arms and an urge to smash shitty portrayal of mental illness in 2017. I would see it to draw your own conclusions, because I’m a big one about doing that sort of thing, but I would further suggest not paying for it if that’s possible. 

Side note: Wasn’t Taylor-Joy in The VVitch? I swore I recognized her terrified face from some other movie I’d seen recently. Idk. Speaking of movies that are basically torture porn. D:

[biofunmy]

Leslie Jones Is Leaving ‘S.N.L.’ Here Are Her 10 Funniest Moments.

“Saturday Night Live” won’t be quite the same without Leslie Jones, who is leaving the show. Who else will provide spot-on impersonations of Whoopi Goldberg, Omarosa Manigault Newman and Oprah Winfrey? Who else will come up with better nicknames for Colin Jost? (“Flat White Privilege Latte.” “Little Salty Oyster Cracker.”) Jones was a part of the “S.N.L.” cast for only a little more than five years, but she leaves behind a lot to remember.

Jones was not always beloved on the internet. She endured racial and misogynist harassment on Twitter, and in 2016, between seasons of “S.N.L.,” her website was hacked and nude photos stolen from her iCloud were published online. Jones addressed the matter on the show’s season premiere in probably the best way possible. “The only person who can hack me is me,” she defiantly declared on Weekend Update. “I ain’t shy. If you want to see Leslie Jones naked, just ask.” She had faced worse things than online trolls, she reminded everyone, and she’d been roasted by professional comedians. Anyone with computer skills was wasting them hacking or harassing her, she said — you could be renewing your driver’s license from home instead, or deleting everyone else’s profile from Tinder, or even building a robotic perfect man. “Forget about Westworld,” she said. “I’m talking about LeslieWorld.” Who doesn’t want to go there?

[“I just like to bring the funny,” Leslie Jones told our reporter.]

‘U.E.S.’

One of Jones’s own favorite things about LeslieWorld was her Manhattan neighborhood, the often-underestimated Upper East Side: “Y’all say it’s boring. Y’all say it’s homogeneous. But y’all don’t know it like I do!” She loves the great bakeries, the accessible taxis and the subway trains with a “nobody peed in here” smell. “I thought at 50 I’d be broke or dead, but now I’m a lady from Compton in line for fresh bread,” she rapped. It’s the little things, yo.

‘Alabama Abortion Ban’

When Alabama state senators voted to ban abortions and passed a law that would jail doctors who performed them, an angry Jones took to Weekend Update in a red robe, á la “The Handmaid’s Tale,” to declare the move a war on women. She later dropped the robe to reveal a T-shirt reading “Mine,” with an arrow pointing to her uterus, and she declared her solidarity with all women who might feel “scared or confused.” “You can’t make me small or put me in a box. I’m six feet tall and 233 pounds. Ain’t no box big enough to hold me. And I know, because one time I tried to mail myself to a dude.” Point made.

‘Hidden Figures’

Jones sees herself as “Pam Grier from about 15 years ago, and Malia Obama 10 years from now,” and she likes to rock boats. In this Weekend Update bit on Black History Month, she used the film about the vital role black women played at NASA in the 1960s as a jumping off point to argue that black history shouldn’t be relegated to one month a year. After all, if she had known that a black man, Garrett Morgan, invented traffic lights, she might have respected them more when driving! And then there was the mechanical engineer Philip B. Downing: “A black person invented the mailbox,” Jones said. “How did you all miss that, white people?” Sometimes we need Jones to point out the obvious.

‘Naked & Afraid: Celebrity Edition’

In this 2016 spoof of “Naked & Afraid” the guest host Peter Dinklage was …very afraid. Jones showed up nude, tried to cuddle him for body warmth, and kept calling him by his character name on “Game of Thrones.” (“Don’t start with me on Day 1, Tyrion!”) Pretty much anytime Jones gets into “Game of Thrones” territory — in her “Game of Jones” TV viewing parties with Seth Meyers, her popular live-tweet commentaries or “Thrones”-themed skits on “S.N.L.” — she’s on fire. She’s Leslie Dracarys Jones!

‘Etiquette Lesson’

Many of Jones’s characters come up against racism, sexism and classism, and one of the more hilarious of these encounters involves royal etiquette lessons — and corporal punishment — in preparation for the christening of the son of Britain’s Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The walloping is unleashed by Emma Thompson, who is trying to teach Jones, playing a distant cousin of the duchess of Sussex, how to behave at a royal tea. This is high-grade slapstick — the blows really seem to take Jones by surprise, and the nasty undercurrent gives the skit a dark bite. Obvious cue-card reading is an “S.N.L.” staple, but Jones and Thompson manage to avoid it; they seem incredibly present together.

‘House Hunters’

Jones is a great ranter, but she can play it (relatively) straight, too, as she did in this spoof of “House Hunters.” Jones and her husband (Liev Schreiber) are reviewing on-the-market homes to buy and finding that they have increasingly absurd drawbacks: vertical floors, tubs filled with magicians, toilets in the ceiling. It gets pretty weird, but Jones nails the tricky comedic timing with perfect equanimity. It’s a gift.

Jones and a fellow cast member Kyle Mooney appeared in a series of digital shorts depicting a fictitious relationship (it involved a secret marriage and a son named Little Lorne). Then the faux couple experimented with actually getting physical (although not actually) in the dressing room of show host Paul Rudd — who inconveniently showed up and joined in the fun. (Interestingly, he seemed more interested in Mooney than Jones.) Is this happening? Probably not anymore.

Can a bitch get a beef bowl? Jones’s very first appearance on Weekend Update in 2014 (after she’d joined the show’s writers room) remains her most controversial. In a hilarious rant, she compared her modern-day dating prospects to what she might have found during the time of slavery. (She joked she would be the “No. 1 slave draft pick.”) She later defended this bit on Twitter, explaining that comedy comes from pain, and she vowed to hit even “harder and deeper” from then on. Which she definitely did.

Honorable Mention: ‘Gift Wrap’

Comedians break character on “S.N.L.” all the time, and Jones is no exception. Most memorable was a holiday-themed skit she did with the host James Franco, who squirted fake blood directly into her mouth — maybe an accident, maybe not. This was live television, of course — Jones started to vomit, and struggled to hold it back. She wasn’t able to deliver her scripted lines, but she still managed to be funny, cycling through a series of very realistic chokes, coughs and winces. Even under duress, Jones delivered: Anything for a laugh.

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[funface2]

Leslie Jones Is Leaving ‘S.N.L.’ Here Are Her 10 Funniest Moments. – The New York Times

“Saturday Night Live” won’t be quite the same without Leslie Jones, whose departure was reported Tuesday by various news outlets, all citing anonymous sources. Who else will provide spot-on impersonations of Whoopi Goldberg, Omarosa Manigault Newman and Oprah Winfrey? Who else will come up with a better line of jive for Colin Jost? (“Flat White Privilege Latte.” “Little Salty Oyster Cracker.”) Jones was a part of the “S.N.L.” cast for only a little more than five years, but she leaves behind a lot to remember.

“Being Hacked”

Jones was not always beloved on the internet. She endured racial and misogynist harassment on Twitter, and in 2016, between seasons of “S.N.L.,” her website was hacked and nude photos stolen from her iCloud were published online. Jones addressed the matter on the show’s season premiere in probably the best way possible. “The only person who can hack me is me,” she defiantly declared on Weekend Update. “I ain’t shy. If you want to see Leslie Jones naked, just ask.” She had faced worse things than online trolls, she reminded everyone, and she’d been roasted by professional comedians. Anyone with computer skills was wasting them hacking or harassing her, she said — you could be renewing your driver’s license from home instead, or deleting everyone else’s profile from Tinder, or even building a robotic perfect man. “Forget about Westworld,” she said. “I’m talking about LeslieWorld.” Who doesn’t want to go there?

“U.E.S.”

One of Jones’s own favorite things about LeslieWorld was her Manhattan neighborhood, the often-underestimated Upper East Side: “Y’all say it’s boring. Y’all say it’s homogeneous. But y’all don’t know it like I do!” She loves the great bakeries, the accessible taxis and the subway trains with a “nobody peed in here” smell. “I thought at 50 I’d be broke or dead, but now I’m a lady from Compton in line for fresh bread,” she rapped. It’s the little things, yo.

“Hidden Figures”

Jones sees herself as “Pam Grier from about 15 years ago, and Malia Obama 10 years from now,” and she likes to rock boats. In this Weekend Update bit on Black History Month, she used the film about the vital role black women played at NASA in the 1960s as a jumping off point to argue that black history shouldn’t be relegated to one month a year. After all, if she had known that a black man, Garrett Morgan, invented traffic lights, she might have respected them more when driving! And then there was the mechanical engineer Philip B. Downing: “A black person invented the mailbox,” Jones said. “How did you all miss that, white people?” Sometimes we need Jones to point out the obvious.

“Naked & Afraid: Celebrity Edition”

In this 2016 spoof of “Naked & Afraid” the guest host Peter Dinklage was …very afraid. Jones showed up nude, tried to cuddle him for body warmth, and kept calling him by his character name on “Game of Thrones.” (“Don’t start with me on Day 1, Tyrion!”) Pretty much anytime Jones gets into “Game of Thrones” territory — in her “Game of Jones” TV viewing parties with Seth Meyers, her popular live-tweet commentaries or “Thrones”-themed skits on “S.N.L.” — she’s on fire. She’s Leslie Dracarys Jones!

“Alabama Abortion Ban”

When Alabama state senators voted to ban abortions and passed a law that would jail doctors who performed them, an angry Jones took to Weekend Update in a red robe, á la “The Handmaid’s Tale,” to declare the move a war on women. She later dropped the robe to reveal a T-shirt reading “Mine,” with an arrow pointing to her uterus, and she declared her solidarity with all women who might feel “scared or confused.” “You can’t make me small or put me in a box. I’m six feet tall and 233 pounds. Ain’t no box big enough to hold me. And I know, because one time I tried to mail myself to a dude.” Point made.

“Etiquette Lesson”

Many of Jones’s characters come up against racism, sexism and classism, and one of the more hilarious of these encounters involves royal etiquette lessons — and corporal punishment — in preparation for the christening of the son of Britain’s Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The walloping is unleashed by Emma Thompson, who is trying to teach Jones, playing a distant cousin of the duchess of Sussex, how to behave at a royal tea. This is high-grade slapstick — the blows really seem to take Jones by surprise, and the nasty undercurrent gives the skit a dark bite. Obvious cue-card reading is an “S.N.L.” staple, but Jones and Thompson manage to avoid it; they seem incredibly present together.

“Leslie & Kyle”

Jones and a fellow cast member Kyle Mooney appeared in a series of digital shorts depicting a fictitious relationship (it involved a secret marriage and a son named Little Lorne). Then the faux couple experimented with actually getting physical (although not actually) in the dressing room of show host Paul Rudd — who inconveniently showed up and joined in the fun. (Interestingly, he seemed more interested in Mooney than Jones.) Is this happening? Probably not anymore.

“House Hunters”

Jones is a great ranter, but she can play it (relatively) straight, too, as she did in this spoof of “House Hunters.” Jones and her husband (Liev Schreiber) are reviewing on-the-market homes to buy and finding that they have increasingly absurd drawbacks: vertical floors, tubs filled with magicians, toilets in the ceiling. It gets pretty weird, but Jones nails the tricky comedic timing with perfect equanimity. It’s a gift.

“Slave Draft”

Can a bitch get a beef bowl? Jones’s very first appearance on Weekend Update in 2014 (after she’d joined the show’s writers room) remains her most controversial. In a hilarious rant, she compared her modern-day dating prospects to what she might have found during the time of slavery. (She joked she would be the “No. 1 slave draft pick.”) She later defended this bit on Twitter, explaining that comedy comes from pain, and she vowed to hit even “harder and deeper” from then on. Which she definitely did.

Honorable Mention: “Gift Wrap”

Comedians break character on “S.N.L.” all the time, and Jones is no exception. Most memorable was a holiday-themed skit she did with the host James Franco, who squirted fake blood directly into her mouth — maybe an accident, maybe not. This was live television, of course — Jones started to vomit, and struggled to hold it back. She wasn’t able to deliver her scripted lines, but she still managed to be funny, cycling through a series of very realistic chokes, coughs and winces. Even under duress, Jones delivered: anything for a laugh.

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