#like dude……. figure it fuckin out!! (me looking in the mirror)

[freakspectors]

— ❝ HIT DIFFERENT .❞

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ CONSPECTUS ; your beloved atsumu wants to try something new.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ TAGS ; smut , fem!reader , pwp , full nelson , ‘tsumie’s filthy mouth , like seriously he cannot sthu , creampie , breeding if you squint , praise , mirror sex , lotsa cum dude idk what to tell ya , implied cunnilingus/cum eating + overstim , etc !

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ SLATER’S MEMORANDUM ; my haikyuu hyperfix returns in full swing . were SO back … and so am i !! had to write my glorious king atsumu for a self indulgent return fic heehee ..

wc ; 1.2k

“Feels good, don’t it, baby?”

            A soft, mocking chuckle sounds from the large man behind you, gazing into your eyes glossy from overstimulation through the floor length mirror before the both of you. Broken cries of Atsumu’s name fall from your lips like a mantra, watching as his fat cock descends into your compact, wet folds in the position he pleaded to put you in upon returning home from another grueling day of practice. Strong, muscular arms force you bounce on his shaft, the noise of your ass ricocheting off his pelvis wadding the otherwise empty bedroom. You mewl in response to the faux blonde’s words, to which he hums in content. 

“ Look at that, babe. See me fillin’ ya nice n’ well, dont’cha?” he snickered, peeking from behind your shoulder to examine his slick-coated shaft vanish into the confines of your vagina with every thrust in tandem with his ministrations with a long whistle, “God, I gotta fuck ya like this more often, sweets. Yer drippin’ all over me; all pretty n’ soaked for this dick. ‘s okay, hun. ‘m gonna give it to ya just like ya want me to.”

            Wanton moans emit from your throat, drenched walls fluttering around Atsumu’s shaft from the obscenity of his words. The absentminded gesture earned a deep, whorish groan of your name from the man behind you, subsequently raising you farther up his shaft only to slam you down and stuff your battered cunt full, knocking the air straight out of your lungs.

“‘Tsumie, ‘s too much,” you whimper out, gaze fixated on the semi-prominent bulge in your abdomen, “don’ think I can’t take much more..” 

            “‘Course ya can. Trained this pussy jus’ for the occasion— Damn, yer cunt grips me so fuckin’ nicely…” he chokes out, a sloven moan following his filthy words from a particularly tight squeeze of your velvety walls, “‘m not goin’ nowhere, baby. Dick’s all yours, so loosen up f’me, ‘kay?”

The synthetic blonde’s arm loosens its hold underneath your legs to bring a thick, calloused digit to your clit, kneading gentle figure eights on the sensitive bud of flesh in an attempt to diminish your tense figure further. You toss your head back onto the setter’s large, toned chest, shakily exhaling as your umpteeth orgasm formulates in the pits of your abdomen. Staring at him through the fine glass of the full body mirror, you mindlessly babble out praise and pleas. “‘Tsum-‘Tsum, wanna cum s’bad— lemme cum, honey, pretty please?”

            “Fuck, yer gonna make me milk this pussy dry, sweetheart,” Atsumu mumbles, bringing his hand back behind your head and hoisting your leg up before resuming to jounce you on his throbbing erection. The setter’s noisy, whorish moans impossibly increase in volume once he’s finally able to slip inside of you with ease, his pace accelerating to chase his upcoming high, “but that’s fine. Don’t even worry ‘bout it, babe. ‘Tsumu’s gonna make this tight, sloppy lil’ cunt nice n’ creamy by the end of the night, yeah? Yeah; she’s droolin’ all over me just thinkin’ ‘bout it. Yer so greedy for me, baby. So greedy for this cock.”

“‘Tsumu,” you cry out, mind reeling with pleasure due to the sudden change of the artificial blonde’s pace. Nonsensical babbles stumble out of your mouth like a ridiculous tongue twister, each whimper punctuated with a wet squelch sourced from where your bodies connect. Atsumu chokes on a guttural moan due to the pleasurable squeeze, hips stuttering as his haste induced pace gradually falters. 

            “I know, baby, I know. Tell me all ‘bout how ‘m demolishing that pretty cunt—Fuck, ‘s too good, sweetie, gonna cum all up in this mess of a pussy. Bet ya’d like that, wouldn’t ya, doll?” the faux blonde rambled, gratuitously fucking himsef into your sopping wet core and chasing after his own high. “‘s that what ya want, baby? Want ‘Tsum-‘Tsum to cum deep in yer guts? Knock ya up and make ya a mommy?”

“Please, ‘Tsumu, need your cum, wanna keep it all inside,” you sputter, eyes darting to the back of your skull once the knot in your stomach finally snaps and spills warm, sticky semen over Atsumu’s shaft, coating him in your essence for the nth time that evening. The blonde’s eyes light up with glee at the slim sight of a milky white mess seeping from your stretched-out cunt. A giddy giggle, similar to an overjoyed young boy, sounds from the man behind you prior to another of his seemingly endless rambles.

            “There ya go, sweetie. That’s my good lil’ girl,” Atsumu praises, thrusts growing sloven by the second, “ride it out. Ride it right the fuck out, baby — ‘m so close, hun. Gotta cum all up in this pussy, babe, need it so fuckin’ badly… Gonna take every last drop like a good girl, ain’t ya? ‘Course ya will, ‘cause no one will ever fuck this sloppy cunt like I do. I fuck ya so good y’can’t even cum by yerself no more, don’t I, honey? Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Tepid, gooey semen shoots inside of your core as Atsumu bottoms out, keeping you down and spectating the mixture of semen and slick seep and spurt down his cock with stars in his eyes. He’s always been absurdly fascinated with climaxing inside of you; yet something different — something primal lay within the bleach blonde’s spirit upon pipping you full in such a salacious manner. He wanted more of you. He craved more of you.

            “Atta girl,” Atsumu cooed, delicately lowering your legs from his firm hold and planting soft kisses along the back of your neck, soon trailing them down your shoulder with a lazy smile. “ya always take me s’well. Yer too good to me, sweets.”

Strong arms wrap themselves around your waist, raising you off the setter’s shaft and comfortably lying you down against your shared bed. Atsumu’s lips wander over your bare form, kissing over each nook and cranny he could possibly reach. Just for a moment, you feel a sense of tranquility — the sweet, comforting sensation of Atsumu’s body against your own enveloping you into a peaceful state of rest… At least that’s what you assumed would happen.

            A gentle kiss presses against your swollen clit, earning the professional setter a hushed, airy whine. Atsumu idly traces circles on your hips to soothe you, eyes gazing into your own with admiration. Through your daze, you could’ve sworn there were hearts swimming in his amber irises. He couldn’t get enough of you; and quite frankly, Atsumu wasn’t sure if there was a point where he could.

“‘m sorry, sweetheart. I know it’s too much for ya,” he mumbles into your core, lapping up the mess he created in tiny, merciful kitten licks, “but my ma raised me to clean up all of my messes.”

@ FREAKSPECTORS 2024 . don’t reupload , translate , or steal any of my works . reblogs are appreciated !

[spennsrs]

spencer agnew x reader

reader is a new intern/assistant for the games department and her and spencer kinda hit it off

possible slow burn

spencer content <3 love you

↳˳;; ❝ fuckin' nerd ༊*·˚

here we go spencer nation this is for you and erm its somewhat slowburn ig.... no confirmation of relationship so yas... reader referred to using they/them <3

first day jitters fuckin' sucked. [y/n] could attest to that.

they rub their hands on the front of their jeans, the material somewhat grounding them as they stare at the office building... okay, technically it wasn't their first day, they had been there yesterday to set their desk up and get somewhat acquainted with the games side of the office. they met alex tran, jacqi, even vida!

but a specific glasses wearing, kickstart drinkin' idiot (alex tran's words) wasn't there. spencer agnew.. or their boss, essentially.

[y/n] didn't know why they were so nervous. it's not like spencer was a scary guy, per say... maybe he was. shaking their head, [y/n] enters the building with a semi-confident grin on their face, entering the lobby... only to be met with another body. well.. more like colliding.

"oh shit, i'm sorry dude-" "my bad-"

[y/n] collects themself as they brush off their clothes, before looking up to an average height male with curly dark hair and round glasses framing his eyes. he was... cute, in a... kind of dorky, awkward nerdy best friend in some mediocre coming of age novel. they find themself staring and quickly before they start to talk.

"you okay? we bumped pretty hard into each other... usually, i'm paying way more attention, i guess, i'm so sorry-" "hey.. you're that new intern, right? holy shit, you are. [y/n], right? what a first impression... i'm spencer by the way."

fuck. shit. fuckin' shit. of course this was their boss. they just ran into their boss, on their second first day...

"uhm... yeah. i'm [y/n], the one and only, heh. listen, i feel terrible for what i did, i can make it up to you! buy you a coffee, extra work, whatever you need, i'm willing."

their words were met with silence from spencer, and for a brief moment, they thought they fucked up royally. completely. fired on the spot.

"first meeting, an you're already asking me on a date? bold moves, [y/n], but i'm not that easily swayed." spencer's lips tug into a toothy grin, a grin that holds a teasing and chaff, a grin that promises lots of fun jokes at work, a grin that promised to keep them on their toes, to keep their heart fluttering-

[y/n] can't help but snort with a raised brow, determined to give back the same sass. if this is what it was like working here, they could get used to this place. "in your dreams, boss man. workplace relationships never work out anyway." they snap back with a laugh, which makes spencer mirror the action.

"fair enough, fair enough. i'm just pulling your chain, welcome to smosh games. i think we'll get along just fine."

[y/n] likes to agree with that statement.

only a week of working at smosh, and [y/n] was finding the place to be a second home of sorts.

alex t had quickly climbed the ranks of becoming [y/n]'s favorite person, almost like a brother figure of sorts to the newer employee. on the other end of that, spencer had grown to be [y/n]'s biggest enemy, bully, and pin in their ass.

in a loving way, of course.

the two of them would bounce off each other's energy, and could bicker for hours, and had even developed a bit of a joking beef in the office. this also led to a little.. club of sorts, smosh employees who were banking on spencer and [y/n] eventually ending up together. even mythical employees were in on this, thanks to trevor. (who would've known rhett and link would be the fan club's number one members)

of course, this had led to some unspoken feelings, at least on spencer's side of things. he refused to say a thing, workplace relationships and h.r and all that jazz or whatever. he also didn't want to seem creepy as their boss having a crush on one of the interns. the only person who actively knew about spencer's little... predicament was alex t, which kind of sucks considering how close alex was to [y/n]. so, all in all, he was fucked.

lost in his own thoughts, spencer made his way to the office kitchen to grab another kickstart when he notices [y/n] fiddling with... well, he couldn't give a shit. what mattered was [y/n] was here. he runs a hand through his hair as he approaches them from behind, a wicked grin on his lips before he gently pokes their side. the other's body jolts and spencer catches how their eyes go wide like saucers, before spinning to glare at spencer. he could tell the glare wasn't angry or upset really, but also the bubbling laugh kinda gave them away.

"hey, [y/n], whatcha doin'? anything interesting?"

the other scoffs and turns back to what they were doing, which spencer can actually see is them fixing their lunch as [y/n] releases a dramatic sigh. "i was peacefully making lunch, but now the duke of chaos himself is here."

"duke of chaos? i'm the god of chaos, thank you very much, goddess of idiocy." that earned him another friendly glare over the shoulder. this is what he adored about them. sure, they were really cute, and their laugh was like... the most beautiful song he's heard, and their hands were nice and soft and fit right in his perfectly-

spence, stop getting carried away.. right.

he adored [y/n] because they knew how to joke, how to have a laugh, to keep up with his rather snarky little comments. he really valued that in a friend or a partner, but for some reason.. playful bullying looked really good especially on [y/n]. well... [y/n]'s specific hair color looked good on them as well... and that new top - he knew it was new because maybe he overheard them talking to chanse about it - fit them perfectly, and their eye color fit them perfectly-

"anyone home in there? this is ground control to spencer agnew, do you copy?" .... oh shit, they had been talking. he stared at them with wide eyes, swallowing thickly. he felt something akin to a blush creeping up his neck to settle on his cheeks, and he knew they could see it based on the sly smirk that played onto their lips. "you're lucky it's me you're staring, y'know. think about that next time you gawk at women while zoning out."

"i wasn't-.. shut up, i wasn't gawking!" he definitely was gawking.

"you stupid fuckin' nerd. come on, we have a meeting to get to."

spencer could live with this, keeping the pretty intern a daydream away so they could keep a good work friendship with their inside jokes and their movie nights they'll end up having, spencer sharing his love for kickstarts with [y/n] who will complain but drink them anyway... as long as they were in his life, he didn't quite care what they were, or what other people thought of them. he couldn't care less if he gave his feelings away in the fleeting touches when they returned a pen they borrowed and how he made it linger, or how he stared at them like they hung the stars in the sky just for him... he didn't need a picture perfect movie ending...

all that mattered was he was their stupid fuckin' nerd, where they liked (or knew) it or not.

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

@steddie-week Day 5- Reunion / exes to lovers or getting back together

i'm challenging myself to keep each of these at 660 words; see day one for more of an explanation!

"Dude, seriously, what’s so importan—”

Oh shit.

“Oh fuckin’ hell Dustin, seriously?”

Steve takes a moment to take him in.

The years have been good to him; his hair is still long, pulled back into a bun for the occasion, and the white streak of hair that mirrors Steve’s cuts across the left side of his head.

The door clicks shut, and he and Eddie Munson are in the same room together for the first time in years. 

Eddie’s eyes lock with his for a fraction of a second and snap away in the next. “Seriously Dustin? Look, I love you man, but this is too mu—”

“Both of you just shut up and listen to me. I love you guys, but you need to get over your shit now.”

“We don’t have any shit.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Steve confirms in a croak.

“Bull.” 

Steve finally manages to look at Dustin, his gaze having taken an avoidant trip around the room; his arms are crossed across his chest, a frown on his face. “No, really, we just aren’t… we’re not..”

“We just never got along Dusty, Steve and I are just too different, alright? It’s not going to get in the way of you and El’s special day or whatever.”

“Bull.” Dustin repeats.

“C’mon Dusty, I don’t want to do this right now—”

“I know you two were a thing.”

...

What?

“What?!” Steve and Eddie say in unison, Eddie continuing with “Where in the hell’d you get that idea?”

Dustin’s eyes roll so hard his head follows, “Oh come off it; you two were inseparable for a good year after everything, and you’re right, you were too different, that’s why we all noticed when you were joined at the hip. Or should I say joined at the dick.”

“...That’s not how it works.”

Steve whirls on Eddie, “That’s what you’re concerned about?”

“If he's gonna roast us he should do it properly!”

“You—”

“Alright!” Dustin cuts him off (again), giving each of them a glare then turning to the door. “You two stay here and figure it the fuck out, you hear me? I’ll be back in an hour.”

He’s just about to close the door when his head pokes back in, “And for the love of god, take a shower if you touch butts.”

The door clicks closed loudly, the sound of the lock engaging even louder.

Steve sighs, “Listen, Eddie–”

“I don’t have anything to say to you.”

He turns to glare at his ex, “Well I have something to say to you, asshole.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and his shoulders ruck up closer to his ears, but he doesn’t look like he’ll interrupt again.

“I was going to tell you that day, y’know. But you didn’t–” he clears the lump from his throat, “I’m sure you thought it’d be better, huh? A clean break?”

Eddie’s shoulders hike higher, his arms cross over his torso.

“Well, I waited. And waited. Then called Robin. Cried… a lot. I was devastated.”

“Is that what you wanted to tell me? How miserable I made you?

“No.. well, kinda, but no. What I wanted to tell you was that I love you.”

Eddie makes a wounded noise, but Steve continues.

“I wanted to say it to you then, but I’d be lying if I said I didn't want to say it to you again now.”

That does it; Eddie’s head snaps up to look at him. “You loved–”

“I still love you, Eddie Munson. And you don’t have to say it back, I don’t know if you ever felt the same w—”

Kissing him again is like coming home.

“You were–” Eddie says when they separate, cutting off when Steve pulls him in again.

“I was going to, yeah.” another kiss, “I wanted the real thing with you, Eddie. I wanted everything. I want everything.”

Eddie grins against the next press of Steve’s lips.

They end up needing to use the shower.

i love a 'steddie exes reunion at one or multiple of the kids' weddings' trope

on AO3 here!

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Here's just a little one-shot for my werewolf Peter au, with Aro and Peter still in Vegas, cause at some point they'll be heading to Italy.

Summary: Aro is snooping about Peter's collection, and has opinions. Peter does not want those opinions.

Warning: Aro being his usual asshole self

On with the fic!

--

"You do know that these are not real, yes?" Aro commented, staring into a glass case.

Peter glared deeply from where he was leaning, knowing exactly what Aro was looking at. "I know that, but it's still a collector's item anyway."

"It is..." Aro chuckled, clearly finding this whole thing humorous, as he had been through much of his browsing of Peter's home museum. "But it's so silly what you humans, well, former in your case,"

"Oi!"

"thought would be perfect for killing vampires. Granted, yes, some items can do damage and even kill, but not everything here could work on all species."

"True, but a stake through the heart is still a stake through the heart."

Aro gave him a toothy smile, smug bastard. He didn't have to say anything, Peter was very aware that he was of that weird, bizarre kind that had stone-like bodies. Peter considered ordering a hammer and chisel, that might do the job.

"Yeah, yeah," Peter rolled his eyes, "the vampire huntin' kits were a gimmick to make money off of people during the satanic panic shit. It's still fuckin' cool to have on display."

"Is this also why you have a silver gun with silver bullets on display as well?"

Peter looked at the case, bristling on instinct. That stupid, wolfy part of him hated knowing it was here, but it was still something he kept around, some vampires were harmed by silver. So was Peter, but that's what gloves were for when he handled it! If he ever needed to handle it again, that is.

"Shut up." Peter replied and moved among the cases. "Are you going to critic everythin' I have in my collection?"

"No, some of it is impressive, I will admit." Aro spoke as he moved about as well, before coming across a bookshelf. "You read?"

"Course I do!"

"I just figured you were... above such things, what with your face always looking at your phone. Or a mirror."

"Har har." Peter sneered, watching as Aro looked at the collection. It was one of several bookshelves in the penthouse, this one was centered on vampires, figured it would be good to have those books near the tools and weapons.

Aro dragged a finger over the spines, muttering to himself as he read over the titles on display. He paused on one, and slipped it out. Peter recognized the cover and winced, glancing away.

The vampire stared at the book in silence, then flipped through it. "Is this... research material?"

"Look, dude, it's about vampires, and there are other vampire novels on the shelf. You can clearly see my several editions of Dracula there. The first edition is a case over there." Peter rambled, but Aro seemed to be ignoring him.

"This is a romance novel."

The werewolf groaned and bonked his head on a glass case. "Don't say that..."

"But it is. The human boy in this clearly seems interested in the vampire girl, who seems to be a stalker. Even going so far as to oil the windows so as to not wake this Beau human." Aro frowned and closed the book shut with a loud thump. "This is terrible."

"People love it." Peter grunted. "The vampires remind me of your species. How well known are your kind?"

"A little too well known if some woman with questionable tastes thinks it's appropriate to put them in there." Aro said with a growl in his voice. Peter ignored how it made something flare in his stomach, best to not look into that for now.

He just shrugged. "Maybe she did some research. I dunno. I mean, her research skills are... not great, considerin' what she did with the wolf characters, pretty terrible shit she did with the real tribe in it."

Aro's frown deepened, and he muttered something to himself, Peter only just catching something about Washington, huh? "Do romance novels help you with research at all, or are they just trash you read to justify some monster-related kink that you have? Because some of the other books you have here are pulp fiction romances."

He snatched another book off the shelf and Peter snarled, trying to snatch it away. "Shut up! It's research material!"

Aro smiled as he looked at the cover, easily dodging Peter. "Oh, is this a vampire and werewolf story? How curious! I wonder what thoughts it provokes in you!"

"Oh my fuckin'- give me that shit!" Peter shouted, trying to get it back, but Aro was suddenly across the room, looking at the contents.

He had the damn nerve to giggle as he read something. "Ah, the receipt in this that you are using as a bookmark is from last week! You must be doing some very serious research right now!"

Peter whined and considered if he should break one of the cases to grab for a dagger or something, anything to get that stupid fang face to stop talking- oh god, is he reading some of it aloud now!?

--

That shitty genderbent version of Twilight exists in this universe, even though Edward and Bella are real people. Aro is curious how this writer around about them, he might have to make some calls...

Also, Peter has a collection of werewolf books too, but most of those are not really research materials. A lot of them are pulpy. :)

[transguydragon]

I am a boy. A guy. A dude. Sometimes I even feel like I am a man.

And I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t wanna be neutral about it. I don’t wanna be a they/them transmasc, or even a he/they transmasc. No, I’m a man.

And maybe it’s just cause I’m a still a fuckin’ baby when it comes to being trans, but I don’t think I wanna reconnect with femininity, and I don’t think I ever will.

I always hated makeup, I hate the feeling of stuff on my face and my fidgeting from ADHD causes me to touch my face a lot so I was always worried I’d absentmindedly smudged it and just didn’t remember cause I zoned out. The only time I really liked my nails painted was when I got acrylics done like short claws for a Halloween costume and then kept doing them like that for a while until Covid started and I stress fidgeted and tore them right off.

Certain skirts and dresses make me feel very uncomfortable and vulnerable. Some of them are ok but very few. My occasional enjoyment of dresses was almost entirely based on the fact that they were objectively flattering for my figure and I could see/understand that (The Doll In The Mirror, as I call it) but I never actually liked them for the internal me.

I like jewelry I guess, but I keep it pretty minimalist or neutral. I’m pretty content to keep wearing the same stuff I’ve been wearing every day for years now. The only new thing I desire jewelry-wise is sword/dagger earrings.

I like sewing as a practical and useful skill. I don’t want to make pretty things. I’d only ever touch lace if it was something I was doing for my roommate. I want to fix holes, clean up seams, and replace buttons.

I liked horses growing up, went to some summer camps, but I was never once a horse girl. That’s something else. I liked horseback riding for the outdoors, for the connection with such a unique animal, for the unmatched feeling of competency and strength derived from being a 5’0” kid hauling a full saddle+blanket+pad set that‘s probably about 1/3 your weight all the way from the barn to your horse and successfully slinging it onto its back, which is several inches above your shoulder, all by yourself. The feeling of ruggedness from learning how to pick a horse’s hooves in the hot summer sun.

And sure I was there with a bunch of other girls, and all the leaders who looked after the stables were women, but I felt different from most of them. With some of the leaders I got a sense that we were more similar, I would later realize that they were giving dyke vibes, and more explicitly, on my last time at that camp learned that our slightly more broody counsellor and the head of the stable staff were lesbians and dating. Even before I knew that, I had wanted to connect with them both more but didn’t know how to approach them. But I was drawn to them. Thinking back on it, I even wonder if maybe our counsellor might’ve ended up being trans? They hated their last name because it sounded really girly/cutesy, and it seemed to me like a lot was going on in their head…

I got off track. What are some other feminine things I either don’t like or have big stipulations on my feeling about them?…

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 9: Change on the Rise

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M? (Still figuring out the rating system) (might eventually be M anyhow)

* Warnings: language, mentions of two different cancers: colon cancer and glioblastoma

* Word count: 3,540ish?

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all

Author's note: Since I have a few of these ready to go, I figured I would post an extra one early! I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well!

Stella trotted along on Abigail with Tank in tow down the sloped hill from the main house. She couldn’t help but hope Monica would be okay. She didn’t even want to begin thinking about the kind of rampage she’d have to bear witness to from Kayce if his wife wasn’t. ‘Monica’s young and strong. She’ll be okay.’

She could see Rip sitting on his bay gelding, Dude, off to the side of the cattle pen with Lloyd. Her shoulders stiffened and she plotted her course to the barn to put Tank up. Flipping her ball cap back around so the bill faced forward, she gave a silent prayer that she would go unnoticed.

The wide berth she gave the group of men proved to be ineffective at keeping her out of their attention. The men’s eyes all landed on her and she did her damndest to ignore them. ‘Just gotta make it to the barn.’

Ryan called out to her as he trotted closer. “Stella! What happened?”

She halted Abigail and Tank followed suit. Her eyes closed briefly, and she pressed her lips together and cursed her brother’s inherent need to be nosy. Stella scanned the crowd and found Ryan moving closer. She leaned in her brother’s direction which made Abigail turn to face the men.

“Something happened to Monica. He had to go to her. So I’m putting Tank away and then I’ll be keeping myself busy until Mr. Dutton comes back.” A snicker came from Rip. Stella bristled. “What, Rip? What is so funny about that situation?”

“He went and ran off and left you with the responsibility yet again, huh?”

Stella tossed Abigail’s reins in Ryan’s general direction and slid off of her mare in a fluid dismount. She squared her shoulders and stalked toward the foreman.

“Stella don’t!” Ryan yelled as he scrambled to either catch the reins or his sister, he wasn’t sure.

“Oh shit, here we go.” Colby sighed, turning to face the imminent destruction. He grabbed the reins from Ryan’s hand, allowing him to bolt off to his sister.

Rip’s motion mirrored Stella’s posture. If she was looking for a fight, he would give her one. It was the rules after all.

Ryan sprinted behind his sister and reached out for her arm. Stella ripped her arm out of his grasp just as he brushed her. “Get the fuck away from me Ryan!”

Ryan stood there with a hand out dejected. He dropped it with a slap. There was nothing anyone could do except be forced to watch Stella go against their boss. They wanted to jump in and save her before she self-destructed, but that wouldn’t fly with Rip. No one knew what could be done. They were stuck spectating like it was a car wreck.

“Stella, I'm gonna give you one chance to walk away.” Rip’s warning was deceptively calm.

Ryan pleaded from between. “Take the chance, Stell! Don’t do this!”

She snubbed her brother’s begging. “You know, when you barred me from the bunkhouse for a few days I said I wasn’t gonna fight you.” A fire was igniting in her eyes the closer she got to Rip. “But I’ve got the fuckin’ energy today. So come on!” She waved her hands at him before squaring herself up to him. “You seem to be so high on that horse, get off and make your damn point.” They came toe to toe as she finished. Stella huffed and puffed, rage rolling through her chest like fire. She and Rip locked eyes, or well eyes to sunglasses and the fire burned through her.

Rip surveyed her stoically from behind the shades, taking in her misplaced anger. He knew Stella was mad at herself because she knew he was right about her and Kayce.

“Well?!” She shouted and shoved his chest. Abigail squealed in the background.

Rip puffed from her hit. He gritted his teeth. “You can be mad but be mad somewhere else. Think about why you’re pissed. Because it ain’t at me sweetheart.”

“Oh shove it up your ass Rip! You just want to be able to say I told you so.”

“Cut the shit, Stella. You’re mad because you’re in denial.”

“Denial about what?!” She screamed.

“Kayce is gonna be the death of you. And I’m gonna be the one left with the task of burying you for your brother if you’re not careful.”

Stella screamed and lunged at Rip. She gripped his collar and he caught her. His sunglasses and her ball cap went flying. It was apparent to Rip that she didn’t want to hurt him. She needed to let the anger out. Stella pushed and pulled his chest, stretching his shirt collar askew. Quick as lightning, Rip reached around her back and grappled with her before he flipped her around onto his knee and dropped her to the ground on her back.

Stella laid there with the wind knocked out of her as dust streamed around her in a cloud. “What,” she tried to crawl to a kneeling position and hoped her breath would come back to her, “the fuck.” Ryan watched helplessly as his sister signed the warrant for herself.

“Like I said Stella,” Rip bent to pick up his sunglasses. “You can be mad, but be mad somewhere else. Other than your job, you aren’t to be here for anything else until I say otherwise. Not even for your brother.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Rip. John wants to talk to me when he gets back. After that, I’ll be gone.”

Rip reached a hand out to Stella to help her up, hoping they could squash the subject, but she left it hanging. She stood as tall as her bruised pride would let her and dusted herself off. He chuckled dryly and said, “okay Stella,” and walked back to his horse.

She made her way back to her brother and held out her hand for the reins. She didn’t dare look at Ryan for fear of seeing his pissed off glare. She knew she’d been out of line. Today had been more than enough, and it wasn’t barely even lunch time.

“What the hell has gotten into you, huh?” She heard Ryan ask while she took the reins from him.

Stella shrugged. “I don’t have an answer for you Ryan.” She didn’t even bother waiting for his reaction. She wanted to go back to the barn.

She circled the horses around and got them to the cross ties. One on each end of the hall. Starting with Tank she made quick work of breaking him down. Abigail stood patiently, but every so often tried to get Stella’s attention. She knew her girl was upset, but her attention seeking went ignored. Finally she placed the mustang in his respective home for the rest of the day.

When Stella got to Abigail after putting Tank up, the large mare nudged at her multiple times. Stella huffed. “What Abs? What? It was stupid, and yes he’s right. Kayce does get me into a lotta shit, but I willingly sign up for it. So there’s no one to blame but myself. Not even Kayce.” The bay roan looked at her as if to say, ‘yeah, so? You were an idiot.’ Stella finished up with Abigail. She placed her safely in the stall, patted her shoulder, and began her journey up the hill.

Stella perched on the porch side wall and waited for John to get home. She looked out along the rolling hills of the property pensively. From the talk with Kayce the other day about his father not giving her the position by herself, she was sure that’s what he would be telling her.

Behind her, a car pulled up and two doors slammed. Jamie and Beth rushed up the stairs, but stopped short when they saw Stella.

“Stella?” Jamie sounded confused.

She moved her gaze to the sibling duo and nodded. “Waiting for your dad to come back. He wanted to talk to me or something.”

“Seems to be a theme today.”

Stella’s face scrunched at Jamie’s vagueness. “What do you mean?

“We have to talk to him too.”

“Oh.” She looked back out at the horizon. Jamie sat on one of the patio chairs.

Beth found the other comfy chair and seeing Stella’s sullen features she asked, “why the long face?”

Stella regarded Beth carefully. Depending on how much information she gave the woman; it would either quench Beth’s thirst for knowledge, or send her on a manhunt to figure Stella’s problem out some more. “Someone said something that got under my skin. Currently removing it.”

Jamie snorted. “Wow, someone actually got under the Stella’s skin?”

“Eat a dick Jamie. I’m sure you’d love it.” Stella snapped back at him.

Beth actually laughed, and loudly. “See Jamie? Somebody else shares the belief.”

“Oh will you two grow the fuck up?” Jamie grumbled, displeased at the attack from both of the women.

“Now who’s under whose skin?” Stella smiled smugly at the lawyer.

“So what did this person say to you?”

Stella’s heart dropped with the follow up question. The monster hadn’t been satiated. “Their opinion was that I make terrible decisions.” She shrugged.

“I could have told you that.” Jamie said.

Beth and Stella both rolled their eyes at the man, but refused to acknowledge him. “Decisions about what?”

“The crowd I keep.”

“Who said it?”

“No one you know, Beth. It doesn’t matter.” That was Stella’s subtle hint to stop hunting. If she ratted Rip out to his long standing love, it would probably just make things worse. “It’s outta my head now anyway.” There was a cloud of dust she spotted down by the lower driveway. “I think your dad’s home. Who has first dibs?”

“Let’s let him decide, shall we?” Beth stood as John’s truck came to a stop.

Stella caught a glimpse of his face from the top of the steps. He was pissed. The siblings went in on their dad after he rolled his window down. Slowly she came up behind them. She would let them get to him first.

“How bad?” John immediately questioned.

“You tell me.” Jamie retorted.

John rolled up the window in his children’s faces. He picked up his phone and started talking. Stella smirked and looked at the ground and fixed her glasses. Both children knocked on the truck window aggressively.

John knocked back and brought the window back down. “Just hold on. Can I just have one fucking minute to myself here? Please?”

Stella almost laughed at the comically slow speed the window rolled back up. She turned her head and covered her mouth to hide her smile. John was so irritated with his children and whatever shenanigans they had gotten into today. Stella had just gotten rid of his ire. She didn’t want to bring it back. They heard as the phone clattered into the cup holder.

They watched the patriarch get out of the truck and deeply sigh. “What?” Jamie started to stammer with a response, but John held up a hand to stop him, “no, not yet.” John pointed at Beth. “You and I are gonna have a conversation.” He turned his gaze back to Jamie. “What?”

“Talk to me about cancer.” Jamie started off. Stella’s eyes widened. John glanced at her, and she backed up a few steps. She didn’t want to intrude. This wasn’t her business to know.

“Okay. What would you like to know?”

“For a start, how long have you had it?” Beth questioned. Stella could tell she was holding back.

“Well, I don't have cancer. I had a tumor in my colon. It was removed.” John explained with a chuckle. “Nice, uh... nice to see you two exhibit some real emotion.”

“This isn't funny.” Beth accused. She and Jamie followed after John and she kept going after her dad. “These aren't the kind of secrets that you can keep.” Stella tagged along behind them at a distance.

“Yeah, well, it doesn't seem like much of a secret.” John looked at Stella quickly.

“That could be its own problem.” Jamie brought up.

“Well, lucky I have you to take care of it.” John pointed at his daughter. “You come with me.” He started to turn around, but stopped short. “Stella, you wait outside. I’ll talk to you when I’m done.”

Stella nodded and made herself comfortable on the stairs. Jamie stayed outside with her, much to her dislike. He sat on the stairs next to Stella with a groan. Hanging in the wings with Jamie wasn’t on her bingo card for this year, but she figured she would try to be nice to him.

“I take it that things didn’t go well with whatever y’all were trying to do this mornin’?” She asked.

Jamie looked out at the horizon like she had. He looked lost. Stella could understand. Her and Ryan’s father, Roy, had been diagnosed with brain cancer and hadn’t told them until it was at the point he needed surgery. Unexpected news like that ripped apart every aspect of your foundation. Even if the person was out of the woods and seemed to be doing great. John was one of the lucky ones. Stella and Ryan’s dad on the other hand, hadn’t been.

Stella realized Jamie hadn’t answered her. “It’ll be okay, Jamie. Your dad is one of the lucky ones to get it all out. Just gotta make sure it doesn’t come back.” Roy’s tumor had grown back aggressively seven months after it was removed. Not even a month after the doctors found it again, he was gone.

“How would you be able to know that?”

“Because Ryan and I have been there.”

Jamie’s mouth audibly dropped open. “What?” He had no idea.

Stella watched as the emotions flickered across his face. “Yeah. Glioblastoma.” She picked up a leaf that had blown onto the step next to her. “We left after our dad passed, but he didn’t tell us until it was damn near too late.” She focused back on the horizon. “Stubborn and proud. That’s how we left it.”

“I’m sorry, Stella.”

She shrugged. “Nah it’s okay. It was a long time ago. Which is why we don’t talk about it.” Extending the proverbial olive branch, she smiled at him. “So trust me when I tell you, your dad isn’t hiding anything health wise. You’d be able to tell after a while.”

He nodded just as they heard the door whip open behind them. John stood there looking perturbed as ever, but he focused on Stella. “Jamie, I need to talk to Miss Stella here. So go do whatever it is you need to do about this morning.” Jamie nodded again and made his way off inside the house. Stella stood up at the bottom of the stairs and waited for John to meet her.

“So how’s that horse coming?” John started off.

Stella placed her hands in her back pockets. “He’s good. He really isn’t mean if you pay attention to what he’s telling you. None of the wranglers are patient enough. Maybe Lloyd, or Jimmy provided that someone is with him. I think Kayce being around also helps. There’s something kindred between the two of them.”

John smirked. “I know what you mean. I’ve seen it myself.”

Stella nodded and glanced around. She wasn’t sure what John wanted, but the air felt weighted. “So,” she cleared her throat, "what did you wanna talk to me about, sir?”

“Walk down to the barn with me.” He wagged his finger as he started to walk off.

“Uh, I’m not sure the barns a good idea.”

John stopped short and looked over his shoulder at her. “Why’s that?”

Stella sighed. “Well, Rip and I kinda got into it earlier. Other than my job he banned me from the ranch for a while.” Her cheeks heated up when she admitted her weak moment and John turned to fully face her.

“Is that right?”

“Yeah.” Stella toed the dirt with her boot. “I mean he had already banned me because I tried to fight Fred. Even though that bitch deserved it. I just decided I was gonna to push my luck even further today.”

“About what?”

“Huh?”

“What did you get into it about?”

“He just said something this morning that really got on me, and then he opened his mouth again.” She sighed. “I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Well that’s between you two. You make it right. In the meantime, I have a job proposition for you.” Stella’s face perked up at John’s statement. “So come down to the barn with me. I’m your boss over Rip anyhow.”

Stella wiped her hands on her pants. The closer they got to the round pen and the barn, the sweatier they got. The wranglers were still out and about. She spotted her brother and Colby off to the side, both of them looked concerned. She scoped the area out and couldn’t find Rip, making her nerves spike higher. Paired with the fact that the last time she was in this barn with John, she made herself look stupid. Not exactly happy memories as of late.

John opened the door for Stella and held it until she timidly walked through.

“So this position I want to offer you.” He waved at a hay bale that was on the side of the aisle. “Have a seat.” Stella plopped herself on the bale and patiently waited for him to continue. John leaned against the wall across from her. “I’m planning on having Kayce around more. So I want him to take Lee’s position.” She casted her eyes down. “I know that position was going to you, but I think you would be much better suited to help Kayce.”

Disappointment flashed across her face quickly, but John still caught it. “I thought you’d be overjoyed at getting to work with my son again.” He watched Stella look everywhere but at him. “But there’s also a second part of that position.”

“Don’t get me wrong, sir. I am excited to work with Kayce again.”

“But?”

She thought back to this morning when Kayce threw attitude her way. She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I’ll make it work. What was the other part of the position?”

“Now that’s the part I think you’ll like.” John sat on the hay bale opposite her with a groan. “I was thinking about starting a broodmare program.” Stella’s eyes lit up. John held up his hand with a smirk. “Now hold on before you start chompin’ at the bit. It’s going to take a while to get proven and with Travis’s help, we might be able to hop a little faster, but I’m gonna need someone to be in charge of the broodmares. I wanted to offer that to you, since you have experience from your friend over at Grand Springs.”

“Can I ask some questions, sir?”

John waved his hand to the floor. “Fire away.”

“Now would we have broodmares for work horses, or show horses? Or both? That would determine what stallions I’m looking at, why I’m looking at them, and what I’m looking for. Are we gonna stand a stallion or two? Or are we just breeding from stud fees? Actually all that determines a lot of things.”

“Well what do you think would be better money wise?”

Stella’s heart stopped. She’d never been asked that kind of question before, and she certainly never expected John to ask her. “If I’m being transparent, there’s not much money to be made back in revenue that wouldn’t go back into the broodmares. With vet care and getting them artificially inseminated, constant appointments for them to be checked and after birth care, stud fees, if we send any yearlings to training.” Stella wracked her brain for all the information she’d gathered over the years working with Olivia. “There might be a little bit of money we might be able to scrape off the top depending on what the foals would sell for, but that’s why breeders, any reputable one anyhow, have their hands in a lot of pots at once if you catch my drift?”

“Because they make their consistent money stream from other partnerships and deals?” John asked.

“Exactly. It’s not a super profitable business. Unless you took the money from the sales of the foals or yearlings and flipped that into a different project of passive income, and used your other income for the care of the broodmares; I’m talking stud fees and vet care and the like. You might be able to scrape by with a little more.” She tapped on her leg, thinking.

“We would also have to make the Yellowstone broodmares marketable. There’s a lot that goes into this, Mr. Dutton. It’s not just breeding to breed. I would be extremely selective on who gets chosen for what. We would breed to better the breed. Not just because we’re trying to make a quick buck to save our ass from the fire. Whether it’s show horses or work horses, we should better the breed to make better show horses and better work horses for the future of the breed.”

There was a small smile on John’s face that put Stella on the edge of her seat. “What? Did I overstep?” Her cheeks reddened again.

John shook his head softly. “No. I just see it now.”

Stella eyebrows pulled together. “See what?”

“Well I’ve already witnessed the mean side, but the smart tenacity that both my sons and all my men stand for in you.”

“Ah thank you, but I’m just passionate about it. That’s all.” Stella shrugged.

“That’s good. Keep it. I’ll get back to you when I hear more from Travis. Might even have you and him talk. Until then, just help Kayce out as best you can.”

“Till my dying breath, sir.”

“That’s what I’m counting on. Now go ahead and go home for the day. I wanna see you working those couple horses tomorrow, ya hear?”

Stella smiled so wide the dimples in her cheeks almost split.

[carmenized-onions]

Chap 13 STRAP ON IN MOTHERFUCKER

tumblr not notifying me of this WHEN I HAVE NOTIFICATIONS ON is a crime, like be so fr rn

1. OMG FIRST MEET WITH MIKEY OH SHIT. was this inspired by napkins perchance?

2. i love the word ‘indulge’. you kinda went off when you invented the english language

3. unrelated to this but the age thing. it’s so funny that we were all shocked by mikey’s age when his best friend literally said “dude i think i’m 45 polishing forks”

4. Yoink!

5. it will be HER sandwich indeed🥺

6. MIDDLE-AGED i mean it’s true but dang you really did them like that,,

7. THE COFFEE MACHINEEE. BABYYY WE’RE GETTING ALL THE TIDBITS

8. the mirror to carmen broke my heart. also we get his pov of the *situation* now so im gonna be sick

9. UGHHH YOUR WRITING!!!!! >>>>>> it deffo feels like we’re in his head

10. every time you tried food for him - IM ACTUALLY CRYING SHUT UP

11. gary with the ‘ick’🥺🫶🏼🫶🏼

12. CARMEN ARE YOU NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT HOW HE WANTS WINE GIRL’S NUMBER

13. he cannot get it to smell like you again. - babyboyyy

14. He thought he didn’t want that? - 😭😭😭 BRING THEM BACK

15. You looked so good. You always look good. Better, in his clothes, but you always look good - BARK BARK BARK

16. It’s probably the onions from the broth making her tear up. - THE ONIONS👀

17. You’ve been out of Carmen’s life for 0ERR minutes. Yeah. That’s exactly how long it feels like. - YOOO YOU FUCKING KILLED WITH THIS

18. oop the thin line for the mikey / flashback parts !! we back. (or maybe it’s the same as it’s always been and i’m dumb) ALSO MARCUS<333 the bread guy💀 he IS the nicest

19. “My ears, kid.” - T🥹🥹🥹

20. ugh here we get to see chippy be such a nerd, no wonder her and squid are besties

21. Sometimes you think about asking if she needs you anymore. - clutching my chest

22. mikey calling her ‘kid’ is so accurate

23. OMG SHE WAS COOKING WITH THEM TOO🥺🥺🫶🏼

24. Like he can see the invisible snake coiling around Carmen. - oh you popped off onion

25. “Can we step out, for a second, Chef?” - OH FUCK

26. “You should reply!” - her being an angel to carmen before they even met i’m so🥺🥺🥺

27. “No, no— Oldest.” - REAL, or like only child but not in the spoiled way - in the had to be the mediator way cause they’re the only one there

28. Mikey is really good at being an older brother, you think. - mikey being a caring older brother figure to her is soooo cute

29. Did his mouth taste bad, every time he’d kiss you? Probably. - NOOO CHIPPY WANTS TO GIVE YOU ALL THE SMOOCHES - well not rn but hush

30. I just— I just made the—The only fuckin’ good thing in my life leave - STOP OMG THEIR LOVE IS EVERYTHING IM GONNA BITE AN XLR CABLE

31. “Heard and resented.” - RICHIE IS SO CUTE STOP chip and richie are my fave besties

32. “Want your coffee?” - I too would fold immediately

33. “Fucker.” - I LOVE THEM

34. He kisses your temple as you pass him, making an all too aggressive ‘muah’ noise - STOPPPP HE IS THE CUTEST GIRLDAD EVER I WANT TO BE HIS BEST FRIEND 😭😭😭

35. the syrups<3

36. “Cousin!” - okay bad timing but she called him cousin🥺

37. naloxone kit - i had to google this and OH SHIT

38. “You got her number, by chance?” - PUKE

39. I’ve had her number for three years, memorized - actually fuck it all, THEY are everything to me

40. I would be so fucking lucky, if a woman like that— - this had me crying, he’s so special to me actually

41. And he pivots his head, to speak very deliberately, to Carmen - man he’s just the best friend and guard dog

42. If fuckin’ only. If I had someone like that— I’d be on hand and fucking knee, for her. - biting into a pillow because oh my god ?? their friendship owns me

43. It also wouldn’t hurt to get your number, you’re perfect. - 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

44. There’s a joke in here somewhere, and it’s probably Carmen. - STOP HURTING ME ONION THATS SO SAD

45. “I’d fucking kill him.” - are they talking about lee😁 cause go for it bestie!! kill that fucker

46. “Hard to speak in those rooms.” - he’s so intelligent and that just makes it all so much sadder

47. “I would’ve said something.” - So true but chip is a superior being so

48. Like you can take the compliment, but you can never say ‘I know, I’m doing it on purpose.’ - crying again. the way you write mikey is just unmatched. better than the show - *tamisha iman voice* I SAID WHAT I SAID

49. because you’re the guy, too. - this scene is so special and precious

50. “Like a nerd?” “Like a nerd.” - something about chip’s friendships with middle-aged men is so dear to me

51. There was this girl - her girlfriend!!

52. also love that we get to hear some of her addiction story🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 and the way you handled it was beautiful❤️

53. “Oh don’t you point a finger when it comes to burying a fucking lead.” - GET HIS ASS

54. “Michael The Bear Berzatto, you have officially been sober for twenty-four hours.” - YOOO this is the cutest thing, them spending time together so he won’t - yeah:’)))

55. he’s still your guy - big brother🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 ugh like i *kinda* get why carmen was jealous cause it’s like mikey was SUCH a big brother to her that it makes sense that carmy would wonder why mikey couldn’t be that to *him* - his actual brother

56. “That’s what she said—” “Fucking gross!” - amazing

57. this chapter is fully like 7 chapter shoved into one worth of content and i love that

58. “[…]Don’t forget that. That we’re on the same team and I love you.” / “I’m not gonna forget you love me, Chip.” and neither of you know this is a lie, yet. - 🥺🥺🥺

59. “And I don’t want that shit for Chip, either—“ - he’s always protecting her 🥺🥺🫶🏼

60. “Cousin, what the fuck did I say to her?” / “You said she failed him.” - the tears are coming back. i’m really alice crying in wonderlanding this chapter

61. zero pulse - oh the throw backs

62. Mikey desperately trying to escape the freezer - I KNEEWWWW HE WAS STUCK IN IT AT SOME POINT. maybe you actually mentioned this in a chapter but !! anyways this wasn’t the way i imagined but this was better

63. YOU WROTE THIS SCENE SO SPLENDIDLY MY LOVE I AM IN AWE OF YOU

64. “Don’t open it.” - he’s trying so hard 🥺

65. “Because the last person that helped you just ran out crying.” - GET HIS ASS RICHIE!!!!

66. Thank you, for softening him up, because if you hadn’t, again, Carmen would be going headfirst through the fucking window right now. - love that

67. “You want me to take all my money, okay, and place it in a fucking furnace? Is that right?” - LMAO UNCLE JIMMY IS SO FUNNY

68. “So I’m sensing—” You curl your hand in the air. “A touch of hostility, which is fair.” - they’re so funny i just - also she sounds like squid, love that

69. No, the manager at Wells Fargo was. - OH???

70. “She could be my daughter!” - the chipxmikey allegations are dead🥳🥳 a win!

71. And I’m gonna bring Carmy on, and we’re gonna do like - omg this is better than canon🥺

72. it’s the blind leading the fucking blind. - you make the drama funny

73. “Every week that you keep going, that’s ten grand.” - JIMMY!!!

74. Fingers crossed he likes you - 💔💔💔 don’t do me like that😭😭😭

75. “If that’s what getting a star takes, I don’t want it.” - ayo???🥺🥺🥺 (no pun intended)

76. “Can you stay after close?” - OH OH OH!!!!

77. no fucking idea where he’s been putting it - and she would not be able to guess it because that’s insane

78. It’d be more accurate of him to say he likes the sticky notes you tack on to each mug - she really is just the cutest ever

79. “I know. But I wanna prove I can, too.” - 🫶🏼

80. “Child incoming, no expletives please!” - EVA COMING!!!!! chippy being the gay aunt LETS GOOOO (also shout out richie for knowing big words)

81. “You’re gonna break your neck, Mike.” - can it just be this? the three of them? forever?

82. “I don’t wanna plan your funeral.” - YOOOOOOOOOO

83. A LITTLE PATOOT IS RIGHT

84. removing your hands from Eva, but then she holds them there. - i combusted🥹😭💕

85. kiss your cheek just short of a million times. “The perfect woman—” - hgnnh inlove them so muchhhhh. i need this to be in the show, WHERE IS CHIP IN CANON (i like to think that whenever we don’t know what richie or syd is up to they’re with chip:’))

86. “Not Italian!” is the synchronous reply from you and Mikey. - love this

87. Eva interrupts him, taking as much as a shining to you as she does her father. “Exp—Expultive!” She looks at you for approval and you nod in delight. - 😭🫶🏼💖😭🫶🏼💖😭🫶🏼💖

88. richie calls eva sweets!!!!!

89. “I want you to start talking to Carmen, when he comes back.” - their biggest believer besides me!!

90. “Cause you’re you.” - speechless

91. “Are you trying to hook me up right now?” “He’s a virgin, so it’s definitely not a good deal for you—” - IANDJDIEJEIEIEJEJEIRJFHRJ

92. “I just want you to be prepared for what you’re getting into, he gets performance anxiety so—” - aiaiwneoeneiwhrjrje?!?!!!

93. “Thank you! I ask for so little.” - this is just PEAK

94. He grabs the notepad and rips off the twenty seven points. - richie is so funny actually

95. deli containers of coke. - sniff sniff?👀

96. “Solve it hard and fast—” “Why hard—?” - BALEGDEH

97. Richie’s got lists of books now, instead of zingers. They somehow hit harder. - YOU GO RICHIE!!

98. “We know.” - that’s so cute!! he soft launched their relationship without knowing

99. Carmen’s gonna do right by you, for the rest of his life. - ONION🥹🥹😭😭

100. He’s gonna be your man - *in the arms of the angel🎶🕊️*

101. When he knew you’d be out of the city. - that is so heartbreaking and i’m crying again

102. Maybe Carmen will figure it out. It’s meant for him anyways. - i mean technically i already knew this, but it’s so sweet to see it written anyways

103. With his three month sobriety chip hanging off of it.  - 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

104. “Nephew didn’t take a liking to you?” - STOP YOU CANT BE THIS FUNNY WHEN THE CHAPTER IS THIS TRAGIC

105. My best friend died on February 22nd. On the State Street Bridge - and the tears are rolling

106. “Go inside, soon. Come home.” / “I will” - crying again

107. MICHAEL FUCKING SAW HER

108. Wells-Fargo will ask if you want to close your account. - ohhh that’s why they asked about the baby

109. Next time you’ll think of everything, next time you won’t fail. - chiiiip🥺

110. You will go, and you will sit on the curb across from the church, and you will not go inside. - THE MIRRORING OF HER AND CARMY UGHH IT’S SO POWERFUL

111. You will stare at the little stuffed bear, the roses, the picture frame of him, and you will finally say it aloud. - more crying

112. When Carmen shows up, two hours later, not honestly that long after you finally left, he will add a bouquet and a prayer candle - they’re so meant to be and just ugh these moments are so special

113. “Guys I— Guys I don’t know how to run bar, and I don’t think I should’ve been trusted, with this.” - LMFAO

114. “I’m gonna fix it.” Carmen will tell you -🥺 i’m soft🥺

115. No more fucking shoes, because it's all out now. -😭💖

116. It’s not negotiable. - YOOOOOO THE MIC DROP AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER YOU FUCJING ATEEEEEEE THIS AND THEN SOME

I think you’ve gotta be crowned for longest ask? I believe you’re currently number one fan of the blog (like in terms of the literal activity stats), so perhaps that’s enough of a reward. 

LETS STRAP ON IN I MEAN I won’t respond to every point because that would be insane but let’s GO

We’ve messaged about it hhehehe BUT FOR THE CLASS!! Had the intro planned pre-napkins!! Slash this whole chapter. I was very much going off of Fishes for my flashback inspo but then they gifted me Napkins and I got to YOINK that scene like Mikey yoinked that sandwich. and for that Mr Storer and Ayo I thank u

THE AGE THING LISTEN I NEED TO REWATCH FORKS BECAUSE I THOUGHT RICHIE SAID 40 NOT 45— It’s WHY I was so shocked about Mikey being 43— I shouldn’t have been, it’s only 3 years, but in my minds eye I was like “well surely they’re the same age, they give ‘went to highschool together’ energy because when the fuck else would you meet— But I can’t remember a single freshman I STAYED friends with in both high school AND college for that matter so WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

Writing in Carmen’s head for Friday was so fucking fun. No wonder they make him freak so much in S3 it’s just FUN TO MAKE HIM SQUEAK. Also man idk if I ever have the best grip on Gary/Sweeps but I felt like bro HAD to be thinking “what? You want the number of the kitchen princess? The personality hire that also actually does things here? I’m going to threw up.”

Carmen spiral being very sweet as he actively ignores the elephant of his EC being a creep,,,, ohhhhhhh babbyyyyy highway to the DANGERzone. I really felt like that moment was simply “I literally cannot process this information so I’m just not going to”

THE THIN ASS LINES!! They’re the same colours as before (though I did debate changing them, I couldn’t think of a colour scheme that would suite Mikey/Chip’s flashbacks better, but maybe I’ll ninja edit and change them in the future, we’ll see.)

Chip was/is SUCH a nerd I loved writing her back when she was in Syd’s position of being completely new to this family and needing to integrate (YOU’RE NOT INTEGRATED IN THE DREAM WEAVE!!!)… ahhhh

100% Chip could also be an only child i see that in a million ways, A MEDIATOR FOR SURE!! I think any childhood dynamic could work for her honestly, I made her a baby truly for the sake of representing the other babies out there like me— WE ALSO ARE DEPENDABLE!! WE CAN BE DA ROCK TOO!! And I honestly think Carmen needs someone who was a baby sibling in his life. Babies work very well together. 

BITING AN XLR CABLE IS SUCH A SPECIFIC FEELINFDKNVJFD been there. How many times have I hung an XLR around my neck? Too many times (for convenience I swear!!) (those equipment hauls SUCK ALRIGHT!!)

Girldad big brother Rich !! My beloved!! I love that after the naloxone scene comes Richie’s “I’ve had her number for three years, memorized— You know why?” — He never actually gets to say why— And is it cause they’re besties? Yes 100%, but it’s also BECAUSE OF THE NALOXONE SCENE!! Chip was absolutely his borderline emerg contact for awhile. I absolutely headcanon he considered calling her when he went to prison. That would’ve been his version of Syd calling her during opening night. Her two besties KNOW Chip is the most dependable person they know (My legacy is to be an excellent emergency contact !! aah shit)

Mikey does the same shit Chip did with Lee/Carmen!! Tried to justify/critically think through the emotions of the other people/person in order to emotionally recover!! CAUSE THEY’RE BOTH THE GUY I’M SICK. IM WRETCHING. CHIP AND HER SUPPORT MIDDLE AGED MEN DOGS ARE SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SO PERSONAL

BETTER THAN THE SHOWOWWJLFKJSF I try I try. I really do hope I was on point with my Mikey characterization, because I do think if he had a chance to be vulnerable this is how he WOULD speak because it’s VERY clear in his episodes that he’s extremely emotionally intelligent, and like a fucking sniper, I see me in him and him in me and i can TELL that motherfucker is doing it on purpose. FUCK. He knows what he needs to be for people! And he knows he does it for people! We always know! We always fuckin’ know! We’re the guy on purpose!!

Her girlfriend!!!!!!!! There’s nothing to this point besides her GIRLFRIEND!!

It compLEETTEELYY makes sense for Carmen to be jealous of Chip for being so close with Mikey— But I think the thing that he’s started to realize— Is that yes 100% Chip got to be Mikey’s guy when Carmen didn’t, but Chip very specifically got those last two extremely turbulent two years, like it was NOT all good. The only memories Carmen has of Mikey are either positive or ruined purely by the rest of his family— HE never had to see Mikey go through HALF the shit that Richie/Chip saw him go through, and I think he’s realized, Oh I don’t have legitimate reason to be mad over a time that literally was not even that fun

Richie’s always protecting her!!! Fully prioritized her!! Parking lot scene softened the shit out of Richie for this fight honestly because after crying with Chip he managed to realize “oh yeah Carmen’s just a fuckhead. He’s wrong about everything he said. I’m going to go kill him to avenge you now.” love him. Love him love him.

There’s a shocking amount of title throwbacks in this one, I can’t remember, but if you keyword search you might find a couple. Zero Pulse, Doing too much I know is in here. Something to do, obviously. Tony Terry Or Tommy, not exact title but that’s here. Some version of do the thing is in here. Easter eggs? Yeah let’s call them easter eggs. 

MIKEY IN THE FREEZZEERR It’s referenced in the first chap (which I imagine you caught on your reread, and in Chap12) but like you said, I think both times I worded it in such a way where it was like, oh he got stuck the same way Carmen did— nononono I DID SOMETHING WAY MORE FUCKED UP!! That trio was trying so hard man. I love them as a trio, I never wanted to stop writing for them.

Put my money in a furnace you say? I’m in. (Uncle Jimmy to both of his nephews 1 million times)

Chipxmikey the ship has drowned. The ship has careened into the ocean. The ship is getting visitors from billionaires in a barely functioning submarine. The ship just killed the submarine. 

AYOOOOO If that’s what a star takes I don’t want it— BITCH. MAKEOUT!

The sticky notes on the mugs!! And they end up being the sticky notes in his ICE folder!! The ones that Carmen loses his shit over!! Fucker feels real bad now, I bet. 

Eva’s whole moment is inspired by my co-workers kid who immediately upon meeting me and finding out I know what Sanrio is— Fell head over heels for me as a best friend. Fully kept asking me to come out of the office to watch her do backflips and then ask if I could do that, and I went “Honestly no but I think I can kind of almost a little bit do the splits”

I SO WISH CHIP WAS IN CANON MAN,, SYD AND RICHIE CLEARLY NEED A PERSON— I know inevitably their person will likely end up being each other, but like, Chip is so good for both of them. Made me so sad when either of them were lonely in S3 cause I was like baby. Your Work Wife is just offscreen. Just look over there she’s right there man what do you mean she’s not canon

Mikey shipped CarmTony before it was cool. ALSO CAUSE YOU’RE YOU is one of my favourites. I think Tony says it to Chip first at one point, and then he says it back to her in Doing too Much, ahhhh houston the house boottts

TOO MANY PEOPLE FREAKED OVER THE PERFORMANCE ANXIETY— LISTEN I DONT THINK MIKEY KNOWS HIM LIKE THAT BUT LIKE CLEARLY CARMEN GETS PERFORMANCE ANXIETY IN EVERYTHING HE DOES ALRIGHT? ALRIGHT???

I love going from “I ask for so little” to Richie/Syd asking Carmen to completely 180 his entire life in a week. Like that’s so fucking funny to me. As is “oh Good” and TEARING off the list lmao

We cANT MAKE COKE JOKES IN THE SOBRIETY CHAPTER!!! This one did slip by me though honestly I had to fucking change coke to Diet Coke in the intro of Zero Pulse to make it clear that Carmen did not fall asleep on his couch covered in chip dust and cocaine. Or did he…

Chip thought she was so slick soft launching with the jacket when Carmen did it immediately by accident. 

This whole final scene I’ll try to condense down into one point because if I don’t we’ll all go insane listening to me fucking yap again about it. But MIKEY SAW HER MAN!!! This last call sucks so much because he’s STILL the fucking guy in it. He’s still making sure she and everyone else are okay and trying to make her laugh with the nephew thing DESPITE the fact that he’s got a clear plan— i’m soooo—- I’m gonna reach into heaven and beat MB’s ass. 

The mirroring of their mourning!! Hell!!! I imagine they drove past each other not knowing the other was doing the same shit. How fucking different would their lives be if they overlapped at that vigil man i’m ill

HE’S GONNA FIX IT!!!! IT’S NOT NEGOTIABLE!!!! ALSO SOMEONE PLEASE HELP FAK RUN BAR HE’S FUCKING DYING!!!!

Thank you for these thoughts as always, can’t wait to see what you think about my bullshit with Chapter 14. YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT. I THINK. I HOPE.

I literally had to take the numbers off this because the block was so long tumblr would not let me post it. this has never happened before JESUS CHRIST

[ladyshandioftheendless]

~The Beginning of a New Life~

Y'all know I gotta write something for Spooky Day! It's now after midnight but I hope you all still enjoy it! It's a bit of an origin story of how Mick became a vampire, in case you're curious to know~ Have fun reading!

~Shandi

Robert Alan Deal was at the end of his rope. His relationship was falling apart. His condition was worsening. He was in constant pain. He started losing himself in alcohol and drugs. He hated every second of being alive.

He could only count on Alice.

Alice understood him.

Alice was his only friend.

On a night when Robert felt his lowest, Alice invited him to his club. Of course he accepted.

He always felt that the Hollywood Vampires club was his home away from home. Alice greeted him at the entrance and took him up to his private lounge. He fell back on the couch and exhaled. Alice poured him a glass of brandy and handed it to him. “Another rough night, I take it?”

“Isn’t it always?” He took the glass and downed the entire thing, holding up for more. “She went out somewhere..I dunno where. I dunno when she’ll even be back, and at this point I don’t even care. Went to the doctor a few days ago..they’re gonna have to operate cause my condition’s so bad. I might be stuck in a wheelchair for months. She’s pissed off cause she doesn’t wanna be stuck takin’ care of me. Like this shit is my fault. I dunno what’s gonna happen. I’m kinda scared and I don’t wanna deal with it. What choice do I have though..?”

“After hearing all that, I think ‘rough’ might be an understatement.” Alice took the glass and filled it up again. “I’m sorry you have to go through all of this. You don’t deserve it.”

“I hate to ask but..would you mind if I…stayed with you while I recover..?”

“I’ve never turned you down before, I’m not about to start now.”

“I..appreciate it..”

“It’s no trouble at all.” Alice handed Robert’s refilled glass back to him and sat down next to him. “When is this going to happen?”

“In a few days.”

“Then there’s still time.”

“Time for what?”

“Robert, you and I have been friends for a long time. Your friendship has meant a lot to me these past few years. I don’t..have many friends.”

Robert snorted. “Unpopular? You? I find that hard to believe.”

“Of course you do, and so does everyone else. No one knows the truth about me.”

“Which is?”

“The only time you’ve seen me is at night. Doesn’t that tell you anything?”

Robert shrugged. “It’s not that out of the ordinary, is it? I mean..you run a nightclub. Stands to reason you’d be around only during the night.”

“You’ve never come to see me during the day?”

“A few times in the past, yeah. But your people told me that you were never around during the day, so I stopped coming.”

“And that didn’t strike you as odd?”

“Figured you were off doing shows with those friends of yours. What’re their names again? Johnny and Joe?”

“We are together, yes but we don’t perform. We rest during the day. Always. The sun is..dangerous for us.”

“Alice…dude, you’re freaking me out. What you’re tellin’ me sounds like..”

“Sounds like what?”

“Sounds like you’re sayin’..you’re a vampire..”

“I’m glad you figured it out so soon. I thought I was going to have to draw pictures next.”

“H-how long..?”

“Get outta here! Vampires aren’t fuckin’ real! You’ve lost it!”

“If you need proof, I’ll give it to you.” Alice pulled Robert up from the couch and brought him to a mirror. Robert had a reflection. Alice didn’t. “There it is. I trust that you still believe your own eyes.”

“Centuries? I’ve lost count how many.”

“…..”

“Robert. Ever since you began coming here, I felt you belonged. I have watched you. I have seen your life. I have seen your pain. I have seen your despair.”

Robert didn’t reply. He could do nothing but stare down at the floor. His mind raced. Would knowing what Alice is change everything between them? “We’re…still friends aren’t we..?”

“We are, and I want to help you.”

“Help me how..?”

“By making you like me.”

“A-a vampire..? Me..?”

“Why not?”

“Alice..look at me. I can’t–”

“Robert. You’ll be dead. The dead feel no pain.”

Alice had a point. If he was ‘dead’ then he could disappear. His ‘girlfriend’ couldn’t keep hurting him. His condition would be gone. He wouldn’t need to be operated on. He didn’t have to be helpless in a wheelchair. He only had to say goodbye to the daylight. And feed on human blood to survive. Something he was certain Alice could teach him. In this case the pros far outweighed the cons. “I'm so tired of everything.. I..I want to stop hurting..”

“I know you do. I want that as well. Will you accept the gift I offer?”

“Yes.”

“That's what I hoped you’d say.”

Robert began to feel dizzy. He dropped his glass, spilling what was left in it on the carpet. “F-fuck..what’s happening..?”

“Forgive me..but I gave you a little something to try to ease the stress.”

“You drugged me?!”

“You’ll be alright. Its effects will not last long.” Alice took Robert’s arm and pulled him closer, pushing up the sleeve to reveal his wrist. “Your last moments will be hell. It was given to you to ease the pain. Trust me..”

Even through his blurry vision, Robert watched Alice’s fangs extend. He felt the dull pain of his wrist being bitten into. He felt his life slowly drain away. When Alice released him, he collapsed onto the couch. He could barely see. He could no longer feel. Alice’s voice was a muted whisper next to his ear. “Robert..you will soon be dead. I have nearly drained you completely. I ask again. Will you accept my gift? Or will you accept your death?”

“Please…save me..”

“Whatever you wish.”

Alice used a knife to cut a gash in his wrist and held it close to Robert’s mouth. “You need to drink. My blood will help you to survive.” Robert was hesitant at first, but it was Alice. He should know that his closest friend would never lead him astray. He took Alice’s wrist and held it close, letting the blood trickle down his throat. So strange. He couldn’t taste anything. Maybe that was a blessing. The blood pools and starts to burn, making him grip his stomach. “Is it..supposed to do this..?”

“Yes. The pain will be brief, I promise you.”

He believed, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Now it felt like the blood was setting him on fire. Was this what it felt like to die? The burning was stealing the air in his lungs. As he struggled to breathe, Alice held his hand tightly. “Not much longer.” The last words he heard before his world went black.

“Awaken.”

When Robert opened his eyes, they glowed crimson, reflecting the dim light. He sat up, surprised that he didn’t feel any pain. In fact, he felt nothing. His skin was cold. His heart wasn’t beating. He was dead. “Has..it happened..?”

Alice smiled. “It has. You will never feel pain again.”

“But I’ll need blood.”

“We’ll take care of that. As your Sire, it's my job to look after you until you can be independent.”

“Sire?”

“The one who made you.”

“Oh..right. And what about–?”

“Robert Deal is dead. Your old life is gone. We will change everything. Your clothes. Your name.”

“I don’t suppose I can borrow some clothes from you.”

“That can be arranged~ We’ll have your hair color changed as well. I think you would do well with black hair~”

“Hah. Never thought about it, but it could be a nice change of pace.”

“Any ideas for a name?”

“I had another name when I played guitar on stage. Mick Mars.”

“Perfect~ That will be your name from now on~”

“Guess I’ll be stayin’ here after all.”

“Indeed, my friend~ Welcome to the Hollywood Vampires~”

~END~

[jennawynn]

Discovery Season 1 Episode 9-

Episode 9-

Listen, you never plan to retire or to tell your husband you're going to be able to do whatever he wants after this one last mission/jump. That's when things go wrong.

Time travel or alternate universe? Find out next time!

Episode 10-

Time for a character roundup! on the axes of interesting and likeability...

Lorca- Interesting character if a little cliche, unlikeable. 9/10

Burnham- Interesting character, likeable. 10/10

Saru- Interesting, undecided. 7/10

Tyler- I don't think I like him much. 5/10

Tilly- Not particularly interesting, but likeable and relatable. 10/10

Georgiou- Interesting, likeable, badass, but -1 point for being dead. 99/10

Admiral- Not particularly interesting yet, but has potential. Undecided. 6/10

It's interesting that they have evasive maneuver patterns... It seems like a waste of a good pilot's instincts. The way that the captain has to decide which pattern to use, relay it to the pilot, the pilot has to recall what motions to take for that pattern, and then enact it feels like it would take precious seconds that might be better used in a "It doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something" reaction.

Alternate universe it is!

Michael's hair is always excellent.

Man I knew there was something still shady about Tyler. Fuckin Manchurian Candidate. Dude is not ready to be doing any of what he's trying to do. "I need you to trust me." No. You can't trust yourself, how are you going to expect anyone else to trust you? Tyler and Lorca both, man. Making decisions to protect themselves that can (and certainly will) put others in danger.

Hey Terran Empire, that's the same as the Enterprise's alternate universe.

Hah Tilly's captain. Talk as little as possible. That might be a problem.

And then Lorca does a Scottish voice for the Engineer. :joy: that a Scotty reference?

I like the way they actually show the tech that (as far as i know) got handwaved in other shows. The change of the Discovery's designation by robot, the synthesizing of uniforms and ranks. It makes it feel more scifi vs scifantasy.

Heh they specifically test for Manchurian/brainwashing stuff.

The weird half bob of Tilly's is... interesting.

Damn that was a line... "If you talked to me like that I would cut out your tongue and use it to lick my boots."

OH SHIT. That's not cool! You can't kill the gays.

I don't like the gender neutral 'sir' and I'm not really sure why.

Aww that was the guy I liked? Connor? I didn't recognize him :joy: I didn't actually look at him for long before he died the first time.

lol Tyler and Michael fucking while Lorca gets tortured. Way to make it quick, y'all.

Episode 11

Oh no... they're going to think that Stamets killed him :(

Is that Starfleet assigned/synthesized lingerie or is it Empire? :joy:

Sparing Saru from knowing his counterpart is a slave who waits on her in this universe. :sob:

(I just realized that where Enterprise was bloodless and nobody was Really Dead, I had no hesitation to believe Culbert was dead.)

They changed the way Andorians look (and sound) too?

I don't... I don't know if I don't like this thing with Tyler because he's not convincing? Or if I don't like the arc itself? I'm not sure.

Now that's an interesting moral quandary. The easy route is to let the Terrans execute him- he's a threat and a murderer. But is it 'right'?

UNBURY your gays.

Heh... I called that one. beam him out just in time to beam him aboard the Discovery. Oh nice, she got the chip out too! I didn't see that one coming.

Ha! The Emperor. I kinda figured (how could it not be if Burnham was captain of Shenzou and they wouldn't say who the emperor was), but man what a gut punch for her.

I forget where to put it now, but the Defiant... is that the one that the mirror!Enterprise found in that docking bay? The time fuckery ontop of the parallel universes has my head spinning, especially since I wasn't closely watching ENT.

Episode 12

I didn't like the mirrorverse episodes of Enterprise- they were both too dark for the show they were in and yet not dark enough to be believable.

I do like this arc, though. It feels like it has the right weight and other than the Tyler plot, it feels believable and consistent. The characters are interacting with the world in consistent, believable ways. Maybe it was because in Enterprise, we were watching actors in different characters?

Fixing Stamets and the only way home while also pretending to be a bloodthirsty captain is a lot of pressure for a cadet.

omg. Have my ganglia :joy:

idk why I forgot about what happened to Voq. I guess I assumed he died.

I was trying to figure out why they couldn't pick between turning Klingon into human or overlaying the Klingon personality into Tyler, but I guess I misunderstood. They overlaid TYLER ontop of the Klingon turned human. Man that's complicated.

How weird it must be to hear the man you loved died... from him.

UNBURY THAT GAY.

Ew- a father 'turned more'?

Oh what the fuck. Ok this one I didn't see coming. Wow. I'm impressed. His ruthlessness. His pulling the puppet strings of fate. The light sensitivity. It's rare that I don't have an inkling of a well-designed twist. Well played.

[lou-is-a-mess]

Opinions on midnights on third listen

Lavender Haze:

Strong opener, vibes are immaculate, kinda reminds me of Hayley Kiyoko for some reason, also reminds me of I think he knows.

Maroon:

I wanna make out to this, ugh those harmonies are exquisite, track two smashes it yet again, need to really look at the lyrics cause just listening to it I can’t quite figure out what it’s about.

Anti-hero:

“I should not be left to my own devices” yeah me too blondie, this song is too relatable and I think if we’d got it a few years ago it would have broken me, “everybody is a sexy baby and I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out” only thing I can say there is Oof, she wasn’t kidding when she said she really dove into her insecurities, “I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror” holy shit my dude, musically a bop and I can’t wait to blast it in the car but lyrically it’s a slap in the face every other line, probably in top five at least, could be top three.

Snow on the Beach:

One thing I can say straight away is it does sound like what I’d imagine would play when it starts snowing on the beach in a movie and that makes me so happy as a movie soundtrack nerd, “life is emotionally abusive” ouch I felt that, “you wanting me tonight feels impossible” felt that too my dude, ngl I was expecting Lana to be a bit more prominent in this song but I’m not too mad, the chorus is really nice, like it scratches my brain quite nicely.

You’re on your own, kid:

That drum makes me happy, cause I know there’s gunna be a fuckin sexy build up, which the pre chorus continues really nicely, on first listen I didn’t like that it led to nothing the first chorus but now I love that it trails off and the real build up is to the bridge, loving the synthesiser sounds here, ooh hell yeah here’s the build up, lyrics wise I’m gunna have to look at them cause nothing is really standing out at me yet, but musically this makes me so happy.

Midnight Rain:

Not a huge fan of the voice modulation or whatever that effect is called but we’ll allow it, loving the bass stuff, another one that musically would be nice to make out to but I’m not sure lyrically yet.

Question… ?:

Ay yo was that an ootw sample? I’ve always wanted someone to kiss me in a crowded room so that it felt like we were the only ones there so the chorus paints a really pretty picture for me, kinda a bop ngl.

Vigilante Shit:

Holy mother fuckin shit that bASS, I feel like this song is quite boring if you don’t have bass boasted speakers or headphones, I’m getting the word cronchy, some of the themes are fun.

Bejeweled:

“Putting someone first only works when you’re in their top five” okay read me to filth why don’t you, somehow the verses remind me of love simon, maybe it’s the similarity to sink in? Idk, “I can make the whole place ✨shimmer✨” ooh scratches my brain so good, top three for sure, “fAMILIRAITY BREEDS CONTEMPT SO PUT ME IN THE BASEMENT WHEN I WANT THE PENTHOUSE OF YOUR HEART” blondie stop please I’m begging.

Labyrinth:

Immediately The Archer vibes, fully relate to the fear of realising you’re catching feelings and the fear that it’ll go the same way as every other time so the uh oh is fun, again need to look at it lyrically cause I have a feeling there are some gems in there I’m just not catching.

It was here that the 3am version was announced, panicking cause I wanna listen to the new ones but I wanna finish this first ahhhhhh.

Karma:

A bop, chorus is very glitter gel pen imo but I kinda like it, can’t wait to dance round my room with this on full blast, like the music is just so ethereal and euphoric,

Sweet Nothing:

Like the swing rhythm, nice and simple which I think fits the vibe lyrically but don’t quote me on that cause I haven’t processed all the lyrics yet, I really like that electric piano sound, kinda reminds me of dodie’s human ep which I really love, ooh a nice build up there at the end.

Mastermind:

More upbeat which I like, this song really interests me cause it’s a way of thinking that I’ve never had, probs due to my autism cause like I can’t fathom spending so much time trying to manipulate events, it’s hard to explain but this song really interests me, “make them love me and make it seem effortless” like I wish I knew how to do that sometimes, all round good song.

So that’s my thoughts, I love that the album has that kind of euphoric electric pop kinda vibe yknow with the synthesisers and stuff that makes it feel like a dream or a drug trip, I can’t remember what that kind of pop is called and that really irritates me but oh well. This album definitely grows on you but then so did folklore for me so I’m looking forward to when I truly fall in love with these songs. I think I need more listens before I can rank them or do a top five/three but bejeweled definitely strikes me as one that could easily take the top spot.

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings, I’m off to listen to the 3am additions, might do a first listen commentary cause why not

[vigilvntes]

MAN I JUST WANT HCS OR A DRABBLE ON VIGILANTE X READER X PEACEMAKER SOFT VERSION. LIKE COME ON THEY >>>

HELLO so i'm very drunk right now and i have no idea what the fuck this is or why i wrote it but here we are we move you have 1500+ words of disorganised chaotic domestic adrian x reader x chris that i found way too funny while i was writing it 💀 i just wanna be with both of them you know 😔

Bed time was always chaotic.

Between Chris' rigorous nightly routine which entailed him spending at least half an hour in the bathroom flexing in the mirror (he doesn't know you know this, but you do and you're waiting for the right time to hold it over his head), and Adrian whining about not being able to sleep until he's watched an episode of Fargo, it takes at least an hour for all three of you to finally settle down to sleep.

You were desperate to use the bathroom, practically bouncing on your heels as you resisted the urge to pound on the bathroom door again, knowing you would only be met with a false promise of 'just one more minute' from Chris.

Adrian, on the other hand, was sat quietly on the bed, Fargo box set in his hand as he tried to figure out which episode the three of you had watched the night before. Not that it really mattered, you had watched the whole thing at least six times over anyway.

"Dude, why can't we just use Netflix?" You asked, leaning against the wall, your arms folded over your chest.

"It's not the same." Adrian mumbled, his eyes scanning over the episode description on every box.

"Explain to me how it isn't the same. You spend at least fifteen minutes every night trying remember which episode we watched the night before. Netflix literally saves your place."

"It's just not as authentic, okay?" He huffed, placing yet another dvd box down on the bed.

"It'd save a lot of time, that's all I'm saying..." You mumbled.

Before Adrian could argue back, you heard the bathroom door click, and when you looked over you saw Chris in the doorway (in nothing but his white underwear and a pair of socks, of course), a confused expression on his features, directed at you. "He makes us watch fuckin' Fargo every night and your only question is 'why can't we use Netflix?' not 'why the fuck are we watching Fargo every night?'"

You pushed yourself off of the wall and gave Chris a shrug, "I don't mind Fargo. It's not as bad as you make it out to be."

"Are you kidding me? The first time? Fine. I would go as far to say that I enjoyed it. The sixth time? Not so much."

Adrian was about to protest, but you cut him off. "I don't care. We're watching Fargo. Now move. I need to use the bathroom."

Chris stepped out of your way and you heard Adrian shift from the bed. "Adrian Chase if you follow me into this bathroom I'll hurt you."

"But I need to use the bathroom, too!" He whined out. It wouldn't have surprised you if he started stomping his feet like a toddler.

You turned to him, leaning against the doorframe. "I know you, and I know that you just wanna see if i'll let you pee between my legs again."

"You let him do that?!" Chris exclaimed, pointing a finger at Adrian whilst he glared at you.

"Yeah." You shrugged. "He wouldn't shut the fuck up about it so I caved. He has surprisingly steady aim, actually."

"You should've been there. It was cool as fuck." Adrian nodded, flashing a boyish grin over at Chris.

Chris was about to argue, so you shut the bathroom door before the two of them could drag you into their bickering again. From behind the door you heard Chris complain about how you 'let Adrian get away with anything'.

You just rolled your eyes and went about your business, using the toilet, changing into your pyjamas and brushing your teeth. You had managed to drown out their voices, the two of them still going at it about peeing between your legs and how you 'never would have allowed Chris to do that' everytime you tuned back in.

Adrian yelling your name caught your attention, and you almost groaned out loud. You were enjoying your moment of peace and quiet alone in the bathroom. "What?" You called out.

"Do you know where my Tuesday socks are?"

You opened the bathroom door reluctantly, leaning against the frame as you ran your hand through your hair. "Why would I know where you put your Tuesday socks?"

"I don't know, I just assume you know everything." He mumbled back.

"Can't we just find your socks in the morning?" You whined, practically pleading with him already. You knew how this would end already, and honestly you couldn't handle another night of desperately searching for Adrian's socks.

"No, because you always say that and then we never find my socks and then I have to wear Thursday socks on a Tuesday. Do you even realise how fucked up that is?" Adrian gave you a look of disgust.

"Oh, you wanna talk to me about fucked up?"

Chris was being surprisingly quiet.

Usually, he would make some sarcastic comment about Adrian's strange habits. But this time, he was just standing next to the bed in silence, biting back a laugh. From where you stood, it looked like he was almost trying to hide his feet under the bed.

"Chris?" He glanced over to you immediately. "Any... Any thoughts? Any ideas as to where his Tuesday socks could possibly be?" You had successfully moved the focus away from yourself.

"Nope." Chris answered, quickly.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think how quickly you answered that question was pretty suspicious." Adrian replied, narrowing his eyes at Chris.

"It's not suspicious. I don't know where your Tuesday socks are." Chris answered quickly, once again.

"Now that?" Adrian pointed at Chris, "That was suspicious, right (Y/N)?"

"Please don't involve me in this anymore than I need to be involved." You groaned out, making your way over to the bed and plopping down right in the middle, preparing for the inevitable argument.

"If you don't have them, show me your feet."

"Dude, what the fuck? I'm not showing you my feet. I don't have your fuckin' Tuesday socks."

"Show. Me. Your. Feet."

A scoff from Chris, "No. I don't have to do anything you say."

"SHOW ME YOUR FEET."

"Fuck, fine!" Chris shuffled over to Adrian reluctantly.

Judging from the look on Adrian's face, you assumed that Chris did, in fact, have the Tuesday socks on his feet.

"I knew it!"

Chris rolled his eyes, "Dude, these aren't even your socks."

"They're the same colour!"

"Yeah, maybe we have the same socks?"

Your tired eyes flitted between Adrian and Chris as they went back and forth over a pair of socks. Chris was stubborn, but eventually he relented and was forced to admit that they were the Tuesday socks after he was forced to show the weekday written in bubble writing on the sole. Adrian, on the other hand, was on a whole other level of stubborn.

"I don't even want them anymore."

You groaned, "Adrian, come on. We can wash them in morning."

"It's not the same. Chris has huge feet. I already know they won't fit me anymore."

"Dude, his feet aren't much bigger than yours. It'll be fine." You tried to reason.

"... Okay maybe you're right about that. But they'll probably never fit the same again."

Another few minutes passed by filled with Chris and Adrian bickering about socks and whatever else they could possibly think of (like that one time six years ago when Chris borrowed Adrian's copy of Alien and never gave it back), with you making the occasional sarcastic comment.

"Okay, enough!" You yelled, glancing between the two men who stood facing each other at the end of the bed, arms folded across their chests. "Both of you in bed, now."

You pulled the sheets back and slipped yourself into the bed, situating your head right in the middle of the two pillows. They gave each other one last glare before making their way round to opposite sides of the bed.

You felt the bed dip to your left, letting you know that Adrian had climbed into bed. When you glanced to your right, you saw Chris stood above you, looking down at you expectantly.

"Scootch." He demanded.

"What? No, I'm comfy."

"It's my turn in the middle."

"It's not... anyone's turn in the middle? I got here first. Snooze you lose."

Chris groaned, "Come on, let me in the middle. I don't wanna spend another night freezing my ass off becasue fuckin' Fargo over there," he gestured to Adrian, "can't stop stealing the blankets."

"Hey! I don't do it consciously!" Adrian protested from beside you (but it came out as more of a whine).

"Wouldn't it make more sense to put him in the middle?"

Chris was silent for a few moments before he sighed, "Fuck. You're right."

"Swap with me?" You asked, glancing over at Adrian. You didn't even give him the chance to reply before you were climbing over him and taking his spot on the left side of the bed.

"Fucking fine. Fucking hate being in the middle. Gets too fucking hot." Adrian grumbled under his breath.

"Funny, I don't see you complaining about being too hot when you have the whole blanket to yourself." You remarked.

Chris climbed into bed and the three of you spent a few minutes shifting around, finding a comfortable spot to settle down for the night (which didn't come without Chris kicking Adrian a few times in protest of his cold feet getting dangerously close to Chris' bare legs).

Eventually, you settled for your head on Adrian's shoulder, with Chris laid on his stomach after switching off the lamp, allowing for his arm to drape over the both of you. You kissed both of them, mumbling your 'goodnight, I love you's' and closed your eyes, feeling yourself slip off into dreamland already after an exhausting half hour of trying to get both men into bed.

Adrian's voice cut through the quiet. "Hey, Chris?"

"What?"

"I forgot to put Fargo on."

A low groan, followed by a mumbled 'are you fucking kidding me?', followed by Chris getting out of bed.

He was right: the two of you truly let Adrian get away with anything.

[dreamerstreamer]

Green With Envy

Pairing: Dream / Clay x f!reader

Summary: [Dream SMP!AU] In Dream’s opinion, you and Sapnap are getting a bit too close for comfort. Combine that with a war, and it looks like he’s in way over his head.

Warnings: some cursing (because Tommy exists) + tw// injury

Word Count: 3.9k

A/N: requested by an anon who wanted some dream angst with a fluffy ending! the story takes place during the attack on L’Manberg. love to see that my first dream work is just packed to the brim with tropes. i had a bit of a rough time mapping this one out, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Dream let out a yawn as he walked into the living room, ruffling his hair as he went. “Good morning,” he greeted, collapsing onto the nearest couch.

On the other side of the room, you groaned. “‘Good morning’, my ass,” you muttered. “Mornings suck.”

He let out a small laugh at that, admiring your form sitting across from him. You were easily the biggest anti-morning person he knew. You could probably write a whole essay on why they were just the worst. But right now, in this moment, you looked absolutely adorable curled up in the couch cushions. Your hair was a complete mess, your clothes were askew, and a frown was plastered to your face.

Yet you were still so beautiful.

He wondered how you did it—how you managed to be so effortlessly wonderful in that special way of yours. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he was sure of one thing.

He liked you. A lot.

If only he knew how to tell you.

Sapnap strolled into the room, holding a glass of milk. “Morning, cuties,” he hummed, taking a sip. He glanced down at the grumbling couch lump that was you. “Is [Y/N] being a grump, again?”

Dream nodded, offering him a crooked smile. “You know it.”

For a moment, Sapnap paused. Then a devilish smile crossed his face and he set his glass down on the coffee table. He leapt over the back of the couch, crashing into the space next to you. Leaning over, he wrapped his arm around your smaller figure and pulled you into his chest. 

Dream froze in his spot.

What. The hell.

You let out a yelp at the sudden movement, your frown deepening. “Sapnap,” you said, “what are you—”

“Wakey, wakey!” he cried, his fingers going for your sides in a tickle attack. In an instant, you were howling with laughter, tears springing to your eyes as you kicked your arms and legs. Dream’s throat constricted at the sight, his heart beating faster at the sight of your smile but sinking knowing that he wasn’t the cause of it.

“Snappitus!” you screeched, smacking his head. “Snapmap, stop!” You let out a wheeze. “Oh my god, Sapnap! I’m going to kill y—”

Sapnap finally relented, dropping you back onto the couch cushion with a smile. “That’s the first time I think I’ve seen you smile in the morning, [Y/N].” He jut his thumb into his chest triumphantly. “And it was all thanks to me.”

You heaved, catching your breath before turning to look at him. “Snappitus Nappitus,” you crooned, reaching your hand over towards his face. He looked at you inquisitively. Suddenly, you flicked his forehead, and he fell back with a yelp.

“Dude!” he cried, glaring up at you from where he lay sprawled on the ground. “What the hell was that for?”

You cackled at his reaction, kicking at his armour. “Because you’re an idiot for thinking it was a good idea to do that.”

Sapnap let out a groan of defeat as he asked for you to at least pass him an ice pack for his “grave wound”. On the other side of the room, Dream’s expression was cold. A stone of uneasiness sank to the bottom of his stomach as he stood up, walking out of the living room with a heaviness in his step that he didn’t walk in with.

So, he thought to himself, his gut churning. 

Sapnap, huh?

The sun glared down at the earth from the sky, not a single cloud to be seen. Dream squinted up at it as he surveyed the weather.

The scheduled day to negotiate with L’Manberg over their territory had finally come.

Under any other circumstances, Dream would be having much more fun preparing for the journey, knowing very well that he was about to see some serious destruction. But today, he was in a terrible mood, and for one reason only.

For the past week, you and Sapnap had been spending practically every second together.

When Dream had sent Sapnap to burn down the forest surrounding L’Manberg’s walls, he had invited you to come with him. When Dream had asked you to hunt creepers to retrieve the gunpowder necessary for the TNT, you had brought Sapnap with you.

And he didn’t think it could get any worse, but even now, you were laughing at something Sapnap was saying, your grin shining brighter than the sun hanging in the sky above you.

Dream was tired of it.

“You have the dynamite sticks, right?” he asked, leading his horse away from the house.

George froze, then let out a long whine. “I forgot it in the storage house. Now, I have to go all the way back to get it.”

Despite his terrible mood, Dream let out a chuckle. “You’re so dumb, George,” he said teasingly, sending him a smirk. “How could you forget the most crucial part of the plan?”

George groaned. “I don’t know! I just forgot, okay?”

He waved a hand at him, pulling out his saddle. “Just go and grab some quickly, alright? We’ll wait for you until you get back.”

George nodded, hopping onto his horse. “I’ll be back soon.” With a snap of his reins, he was dashing down the hill toward the storage warehouse. 

The moment he disappeared over the hill, Dream’s smile vanished along with him. In the corner of his eye, he could see Sapnap chasing after you with a stick, his boots in your hand. A twinge of jealousy ran up his spine.

Wait—jealousy? No way. Dream wasn’t jealous, not one bit. 

With a deep sigh, he diverted his attention to attaching the saddle in his hands to his horse. Mere moments after he placed it upon his horse’s back, he heard footsteps approach him. He already knew who it was without having to look up.

“What do you want?” he said coldly, not bothering to look at you as he began clasping the saddle buckles shut. 

You shifted your weight from foot to foot. “Well, um,” you said, “I wanted to come over and say hi—”

“Cool, hi,” Dream said, cutting you off. He turned, looking at you properly now. “You can go, now.”

You looked taken aback by his words before your expression shifted into a frown. “What’s gotten into you, Dream? You’re not acting like yourself.”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Oh, am I?” He gestured behind you. “I’m just saying you can leave, now. You did what you came to do, right?”

You were appalled. “Why are you acting like this? I just wanted to hang out with you for a bit before we left.”

Didn’t you get it? He was trying to do you a favour. Before he could stop himself, he snapped, “Why don’t you just hang out with ‘Snappitus Nappitus’?” 

A sinking feeling dug itself into his chest at the pang of hurt that shot across your face. But in an instant, it was gone, your expression hardening. His mouth went dry.

“Fine,” you spat, fixing your eyes on him with a glare. “Maybe I will.”

You turned on your heel, stomping away to the other side of the base, inevitably making your way over to Sapnap to complain. Dream’s eyes trailed after you as you walked off, something stinging behind his eyes.

Why did he say that? He shouldn’t have taken his anger out on anyone, let alone you—the one he cherished most.

He felt sick.

“Dream,” a voice said behind him. “I got the dynamite. Ready to go?”

He turned to see George behind him, seated on his horse with a flint and steel in hand. Taking a deep breath, Dream hoisted himself onto his own horse, picking up the reins with a heavy heart.

“Yeah.”

“Big D! What’s the fuck?!”

Dream grimaced under his mask, the string keeping his patience together wearing thinner by the second. 

He and his SMP had been in L’Manberg for no longer than five minutes, and he already wanted to declare war and call it a day. 

“I’ve already presented you with your ultimatum, Tommy.”

Tommy snorted. “Yeah, and it’s a bad one. ‘Give up your land or we’ll light three sticks of dynamite’,” he mocked. He turned to look at Tubbo with a grin. “Tell me that’s not the worst ultimatum you’ve ever fuckin’ heard, Tubbo.”

Tubbo offered a cheerful grin. “It’s a pretty bad ultimatum, yeah.”

Tommy nodded, looking back at Dream with a triumphant smile. “You see, Big D? Your deal sucks. It’s fucking terribl—”

Dream let out a deep sigh. “Tommy, I’m really not in the mood for this.” His form turned toward you for a split second, taking in the sight of your figure next to Sapnap’s before looking back at Tommy. “Let’s just get this over with. What’s your decision?”

The blond blinked at him for a second, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face. “Oooh, are you having women problems?”

Dream’s grip on his sword stiffened, his fingers twitching. “What,” he said, his tone harsh, “are you talking about it?”

Tommy shrugged. “I’m just saying, you might be having some.” He gestured to himself, smiling pompously. “If you were like me, you wouldn’t have these kinds of problems, because I’m an expert at women.”

The string thinned another fraction. “Sure you are, Tommy.”

Just then, Wilbur spoke up. “Tommy doesn’t know what he’s talking about, ignore him.” His smile mirroring Tommy’s. “But say, Dream,” he drawled, his gaze flickering back and forth between you and him, “do you happen to know the saying ‘green with envy’?”

Dream’s breath hitched. If he said one more wor—

Wilbur narrowed his eyes teasingly. “Because to me, it seems to be you’re covered in green from head to toe—inside and out.”

And the string snapped.

“George,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion, “set it off.”

The group looked at him in alarm, their eyes wide as George began, “A-Are you sur—”

“Just set it off!” he shouted, a fury like none other taking over him. How dare Wilbur of all people tease him—taunt him? How dare he? Maybe it was a bad idea, but he was done with negotiating.

It was time.

Without any more questions, Dream watched as George lit three sticks of dynamite, tossing them onto the ground ahead of them. The moment the sticks hit the ground, George yelled, “Go, get out, get out, get out!”

Every member of Dream’s faction turned, rushing for the entrance just as the first explosion rang out. Screams rang out all around him, Tommy cursing incessantly while Fundy screeched. Hidden under his mask, a grin stretched across his face at the sound of destruction. He was a single step away from the exit when Sapnap let out a desperate yell.

“[Y/N]!”

Dream stopped, turning to look over his shoulder. The explosions were still ringing out around him, but what he saw horrified him.

You laid on the ground with an arrow pinned to the train of your satchel, leaving you stuck on the ground. Above you, a chunk of the L’Manberg walls was dangerously close to unlatching itself and falling on you. All it would take was a few more explosions for that section of the wall to come crashing onto you, and Dream knew that they had hidden more than enough TNT under the country to make that happen. 

You were tugging desperately on your satchel, unsheathing your sword to cut yourself loose, but Dream knew there wasn’t enough time.

He didn’t allow himself even a single second to process what was happening—he simply bolted.

In one moment, he was turning to head out of the base. In the next, he was tackling you to the ground, his taller figure shielding yours as he pinned you to the earth below.

“Drea—?” 

The ear-splitting train of explosions cut you off, and Dream felt a surge of white hot pain sear up his back as the chunk of wall slammed into his back. He was vaguely aware of the fact that his armour was cracking. He knew he should have repaired it when he had the chance. 

Just then, his mask slid off his face, landing squarely on your chest. The strap must have snapped, he thought distantly to himself. The ringing in his ears was deafening, and he could just barely make out the sight of you crying out underneath him, your lips forming his name—his real name.

It was a shame he couldn’t hear your voice saying it. He’s sure it would sound lovely.

Then the world went dark.

Something cool brushed over his face, and Dream felt himself being pulled out of unconsciousness.

Where... am I?

Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking while then drowsiness seeped out of his eyes. It must be late afternoon, given how warm and light it was. Letting his eyes readjust to the brightness of the day, he took in the sight of the space around him. It only took a few seconds for him to figure out that he was in his room. He recognized those chests, his messy desk, the curtains framing the open window. A breeze must have been what woke him up.

Why am I here?

He thought back in his mind, trying to recall the last memory he had experienced.

The battle. His SMP. L’Manberg. Tommy. Wilbur. Ultimatum. Dynamite.

He grimaced.

Oh. Right. That.

He vaguely wondered if their side had won, but also knew that he was missing something. He could have sworn there was more to the battle than just that. What was it?

He felt a weight pressing down on the bed just next to him. Glancing down, his heart stuttered in his chest at the sight of you sitting in a chair next to him, leaned over and fast asleep on the edge of his bed. The images flashed through his mind.

Taunting. The wall. You. Pain. Heat. Your lips mouthing his name. Darkness.

Ah. He remembered, now.

He shifted slightly, feeling a dull pain shoot up his side. Wincing, he pulled back the covers, looking down. He was wearing a new shirt and sweatpants—clean clothes, thank goodness. Lifting up the hem of his shirt, he grimaced at the sight of the white bandages wrapped around his torso. They definitely extended to his back as well, if he remembered correctly. So that explained the aches. 

Ever so slowly, he wiggled back, ignoring each wave of pain that crashed over his spine when he did so. A few moments later, he had finally brought himself to a sitting position, your head now lying on his lap. Dream smiled fondly down at you, reaching out to stroke your hair. You were beautiful when you were sleeping. Well, you were beautiful all the time, but he digressed. 

He had a million questions swirling around in his head. How long had you been sitting here? Did your back hurt from leaning over for so long? Were still mad at him?

He really hoped you weren’t.

Just then, you reached a hand to rub at your eyes, letting out a soft noise as you began to wake up. Dream’s hand immediately darted back to his side, and he watched intently as you brought yourself back to a sitting position. You let out a quiet groan as you cracked your back. It was only then that you fully opened your eye. He could practically see the recognition set in your eyes as you took in where you were before you whirled, jaw dropped as you stared at him.

“Um,” he began, suddenly feeling shy, “hey there.”

You continued to gape at him, eyes wide. “You’re awake,” you blurted.

His lips quirked. “Sure am.”

You scooted closer to him in your chair, shoulders shaking. “You’re actually awake,” you repeated, almost in disbelief.

Dream nodded, amused. “Yep. You already said that.”

All of sudden, you moved forward, climbing onto the bed so that you were sitting on your knees right beside him. He didn’t have a chance to react before you were leaned into him, weakly smacking his chest with your fists, your shoulders trembling as you did so.

“You’re. So. Stupid!” you wailed, punctuating each word with another light hit. You whipped your head up, glaring at him through your watery eyes. “Why did you do it? Why did you block me from the debris?”

Dream averted his gaze from yours, his heartbeat picking up from how close you were to his. He could only hope you couldn’t feel it through your hands. “I wake up and one of the first things you tell me is that I’m stupid?” he said, trying to avoid the topic at hand. “What a warm welcome back.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line. “Don’t change the subject, Dream. Answer the question.” Your gaze narrowed. “Why did you do it?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. “I—I didn’t even think about it,” he admittedly truthfully. “I just moved without thinking.”

You stared at him, your brows furrowing. “But why? You should have been worried about yourself first.”

Dream blinked down at you, feeling his heart beat against his rib cage wildly. He was almost positive you could feel it. 

Then it hit him, the realization sinking into his mind as clear as day.

It was now or never.

He took a deep breath, reaching up to hold your hand in his. He watched something in your gaze melt, but the question remained in your eyes.

Luckily for you, he had an answer.

“I like you,” he said. “That’s why.”

You stared at him, stunned. He felt anxiety lump in his throat.

“You do?”

He swallowed it back down.

“Yeah.”

There was a beat of silence.

And then you began to cry.

Almost instantaneously, Dream began to panic. “H-Hey,” he said gently, wrapping his arms around you carefully, “why are you crying? Did I say something wrong? I, uh—” He gulped. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I know you like Sapnap.”

Now, it was your turn to be confused. Sniffling, you wiped at your eyes. “Wh—” Hiccup. “W-What are you talking about? I don’t—I don’t like Sapnap.”

He wrinkled his brow at you. “Sure you do,” he said. “You’ve basically been all over him lately. That practically screams, ‘I love Sapnap’.”

You stared at him, your tears reduced to stained cheeks now and a slightly sniffling nose. “Sapnap and I are best friends,” you said, frowning.

He nodded. “Yeah. And you like him.”

Your frowned deepened. “No, that’s—” You stopped, and he watched as the gears turned in your head, being able to pinpoint the exact moment they clicked together. 

“Dream,” you said slowly. “You think that I—” You pointed to yourself. “—like Sapnap?”

He cocked his head. “I mean, don’t you?”

You stared at him for a moment longer. “Dream,” you said again, “when you jumped in front of me, I was absolutely terrified. I didn’t know what was going on, and I only remember screaming before you just blacked out on me. We won and L’Manberg surrendered, but George had to help me carry you back. You were out for two days.”

He cringed at your words. It was good that you had won, but two days was a long time to be unconscious. He must have missed so much. 

“During those two days, Dream,” you continued, “I practically didn’t leave that chair.” You pointed to the chair you had been sitting on just moments prior. “Sapnap had to drag me down to eat, and I still slept here, as you already saw.”

He gaped, absolutely shocked. You stayed by his side? For two straight days? For him?

He must have said that out loud without thinking, because you nodded and pursed your lips. “Dream,” you said, “do you know what that means?”

He blinked at you. “I don’t see how this has anything to do with you liking Sapnap.”

You let out a groan, hanging your head in your hands. “How are you this dense?” you muttered, your cheeks flushing pink. “Are you really gonna make me say it?”

He didn’t think he could be anymore confused. “Say what?”

Lifting your head, your eyes met his, your cheeks burning with heat and hands shaking. “That I like you, and not Sapnap.”

Dream froze, his brain short-circuiting in his head.

You liked him.

You liked him back.

A grin spread across his face. This was possibly the greatest day of his life.

Without wasting another minute, he pulled you into his arms, practically crushing you to his chest. You squeaked at the sudden movement, your heart swelling in your chest at the sudden display of affection. “Huh—”

“Thank god,” he murmured in your ear, his voice soaked in relief. “I genuinely thought that you were going to reject me.”

You wrapped your arms around him, careful to be gentle with his back, and smiled into his shoulder. “I thought I was being obvious, but I guess you’re just really stupid.”

Dream sighed, dizzy with affection and something that felt like love.

“Yeah, I am.”

Dream let out a yawn as he walked into the living room. “Good morning,” he said, eyes darting around the room. “Has anyone seen my—”

He stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes landed on you. On the other side of the room, you were curled into the couch like you almost always were in the morning. But this time, you were wearing a green hoodie. His green hoodie.

His heart melted at the sight.

He didn’t think it was possible for you to be anymore beautiful, yet here you were, destroying all of his expectations. You never ceased to amaze him with just how wondrous you were.

He sighed, striding to the other side of the room and settling in next to you on the couch. “Never mind,” he murmured, leaning in close to nuzzle his face next to yours. “I found it.”

You giggled at his touch, pushing his face away from you. “Ugh, you’re so cheesy.”

He rolled his eyes at you, grinning. “Don’t act like you don’t eat it up.”

You huffed, turning away from him. “I’m not saying anything.”

Sapnap walked in while Dream laughed at your expression, a glass of milk in hand. “Morning,” he greeted, sitting down on the couch opposite of you two. He spared a single glance in your direction before asking, “Are you two being gross, again?”

Dream‘s grin widened. “You know it.”

Sapnap gagged as Dream leaned in close to your face, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Ewww.”

Turning to face your boyfriend, you pressed a hand to his cheek and cooed. “Clay.” He leaned into your touch, his lips curling. He was right. His name did sound lovely on your lips,

You returned his smile with one of your own, moving your hand away from his cheek and towards his hairline. 

All of a sudden, you flicked his forehead, pain shooting through his skull as he jumped.

“Ow!” he yelped, wincing at the slight sting of your nail against his skin. He rubbed at the red skin, glaring at you. “Why’d you do that?”

You smiled sweetly at him, but he could see your eyes glint devilishly. “Because you’re an idiot for not realizing I liked you sooner.”

From the other side of the room, Sapnap let out a cackle, pointing at Dream. “Suck it, green boy!”

Dream’s brow twitched and a dark grin crossed his face as he stood up, cracking his knuckles. “Oh, Sapnap—”

Let’s just say that Sapnap needed more than a few ice packs, that day.

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Baji Being A Menace To Society (And Your Relationship) 2.0

Sequel to: Baji A.K.A. The Worst (Best) Matchmaker

Summary: Baji’s at it again, acting out-of-pocket and creating chaos for absolutely no reason, other than to see you suffer. In his own Baji-esque way, of course.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Warning(s): Boku no Pico is mentioned, but there is absolutely nothing graphic; mentions of masturbation

Note(s): I am so sorry if it isn’t funny. Sadly, I am but an amateur writer, not a comedian. Still, I hope you all enjoy! ^^

"(Y/n), want some ice cream? My treat."

Usually, you'd be the first to jump at an offer for a sweet treat, especially when you don't have to pay. However, as of now, the word 'ice cream,' when said by Baji, instantly triggers your fight-or flight-response. Paired with the fact that he’s broke as hell, your suspicions only increase for the sudden indulgence.

Since you know you're no match for the long-haired menace, your body automatically prepares to flee, legs twitching to lurch into a sprint. Unfortunately for you, just before you can get the fuck out of there, your hand is being grabbed by Mikey, who leisurely begins to tug you along to claim your dessert.

“You like ice cream, right?” he turns to ask, eyes unbelievably soft when looking at you.

And because you’re weak for him, all you can do is nod stiffly, trading in your sanity for the pleased grin that spreads across his face, his confident strides thereafter likely a result of him successfully remembering another miscellaneous fact about you, as has been the case since you officially started dating him. From the most trivial of things, like which brand of pens and pencils you prefer, to the slightly more important stuff, like ice cream being one of your favorite desserts; he’s made the effort of remembering them all.

He really doesn’t need to do any of that, ‘cause you’ll love him either way, but the conscious decision to do so is what makes you love him even more.

Zoning back into reality, you shake your head to reorient yourself. It isn’t the time to be going over the reasons why you’re such a lovesick puppy.

No, there are other things to worry about, mainly Baji.

You squeeze Mikey’s hand as you’re led to the nearest ice cream parlor to try and calm yourself. It works for the most part, especially when you get a reassuring squeeze back.

‘Right,’ you tell yourself, ‘it’s going to be okay.’

After all, Baji wouldn’t do anything too drastic, right?

~~~

You were wrong. So, so wrong.

Despite nothing having transpired yet, every alarm in your head is going off, pounding at the door of reason to get you to wake up and realize that it’s Baji you’re talking about, the same person that sets cars on fire when hungry and punches the first unfortunate soul he passes by on the street when sleepy.

You really should’ve listened to your survival instincts and ran. Alas, it’s much too late to escape, leaving you to wallow in your anxiety, while you wait for misfortune to strike.

And strike it does.

“Please, don’t sit next to me. You make me nauseous.”

“That’s cruel. I bought you ice cream, and you treat me like this?”

Yeah, he may have bought it, but you refuse to eat it because of how intensely Baji is staring at you. Fucking weirdo.

"Oh, do you want some of mine instead, (Y/n)?" Baji accentuates his question with a sensual lick to his ice cream from the edge of the cone to the finessed peak, making you extremely uncomfortable as he stares you down with the full motion.

As slowly as he licks his frozen treat do you slowly raise your middle finger, eliciting chuckles from the other occupants of the table.

You think you won that mini battle, though?

Ha! Nope.

Baji mirrors the vulgar action, not once breaking eye contact as he dips the tip of his finger directly into his ice cream, pulls it out, and proceeds to lick that, too.

Disgusted, you promptly avert your attention elsewhere, praying that Baji won’t continue being, well, himself.

Your prayers fall on deaf ears.

"It's cold!" As soon as the exclamation leaves your mouth, your blood runs glacial, knowing that you've unintentionally played into Baji's trap. The appearance of a sly, almost feral, smirk when you whip your head around to glare confirms what you already know.

The curtain has risen, and you’re standing center stage in a performance you can’t break free from.

"Aw, can't let it go to waste,” Baji continues, reaching over to scoop the ice cream you’re 100% certain he purposely spilled on the front of your shirt, with his fingers.

Then, to your horror and everyone else’s shock, he asks, without an ounce of virtue to his name, "Want me to lick it off with my mouth?"

Chifuyu is seated on the other side of the table, hiding his face in his hands. “Baji-san...”

"It'll stain if it dries like that." Dear God, how you wish to un-see Baji batting his eyelashes at you.

“I don’t care!” At this point, you’ve resorted to clumsily scooting your chair as far away from him as possible, which isn’t actually as far as you’d like considering your surroundings. Hell, so long as you put some distance between yourself and the crazy bastard that wants to see you suffer, you don’t mind having to force yourself halfway onto Mikey’s lap. (The firm hand that keeps you steady by the waist proves that your presence isn’t unwanted either.)

"Geez, (Y/n), you're such a scatterbrain."

Seeing Baji sell the line with a slow tugging of his hair behind the ear has you torn between laughing and dying a little more. Truthfully, his acting is frighteningly impressive, and you would’ve applauded his performance, if not for the fact that the role he’s playing still haunts your dreams.

By this time, most of who accompanied you to the ice cream parlor have figured out what kind of drugs Baji is on this time, which also means that those fuckers have seen, or are at least aware of, the cursed trilogy of questionable porn that’s being reenacted before their eyes, with you as an unwilling co-star. Those that are puzzled as to why people are shoving their fists in their mouths to refrain from laughing are obviously God’s favorites.

“The fuck is going on? I wanna laugh at Baji’s dumbassery, too.”

“Pah-chin... I think it’s best you don’t know.”

Interestingly enough, the one you’re most concerned about hasn’t said anything yet, splitting his attention between observing the scene unfolding and eating his portion of a deluxe sundae.

Then, out of nowhere-

“I understand.”

You and Baji freeze where you are, each of you grasping the other’s collar, you to shove him away, and him to draw you closer.

“(Y/n),” Mikey says, your name rolling silkily off his tongue in a tone much too fond for his next words, “if you like roleplay, just tell me.”

...

“Huh?”

“I’m fine with pissing, remember? So, roleplay shouldn’t be a problem.”

Heat rises to your face at an alarming pace, and it continues to climb as Mikey takes your free hand in his, which serves not to comfort but to unintentionally remind you of the humiliating experience from a few months back. And just when you convinced him that you didn’t want anything to do with getting freaky with the body’s excreta, too.

“You’ve got it wrong! I don’t- arfghfgh?!”

Your prayer to help cool down your flushed cheeks must have been heard, but you’re pretty damn sure you didn’t ask for Baji to shove his ice cream in your mouth!

“Oh, yeah. (Y/n)’s a fuckin’ geek when it comes to roleplay,” the unhinged bastard speaks in your stead, indifferent to the nails clawing at his hand clamped over your mouth. “You should try it with him. We were doing a scene from his favorite anime.”

Mikey tilts his head, interest positively piqued. “Which one is that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, leader?”

Mikey raises an eyebrow.

Baji opens his mouth.

You lunge.

It’s a series of events that happens in the blink of an eye and ends with loud crashing as you tackle Baji to the ground.

“Listen up, Baji Keisuke. We took an oath that day, and if you dare utter a word of what went down, I’ll consider that a breach of the code of secrecy and take you down, making sure you drown in a pit of your own shame and despair.”

Surprised to have been pinned down so quickly, it takes a while for Baji’s brain to catch up, but when it does, he’s frustratingly unfazed at the threat.

“Oho~ How scary. Too bad for you, I have no shame.”

“Not even if I tell Mama Baji where your porn stash is?”

That has the great Baji tensing up.

“You wouldn’t dare use an underhanded tactic like that.”

Your lips turn into a wicked grin. “Are you sure? I have as much dirt on you as you have on me, and like you, I won’t hesitate to use it to my advantage.”

If your grin is wicked, Baji’s is downright evil, showing off his sharp, gritted canines and all.

“You got balls, (Y/n),” he snarls, “but mine are bigger.”

The boy beneath you opens his mouth, and faster than you can stop him, he just...does it.

“(Y/n) (L/n) watched Boku no Pico and liked it!”

Silence.

Silence is all that’s heard for a good, long minute following the booming roar of the revelation.

You dare not look up to gauge everyone’s reactions, instead keeping your icy glare fixated on Baji, who looks smug as shit for having caused the glorious eruption of heat to spread like wildfire across your entire body, from the tips of your ears down to where your skin disappears under the collar of your jacket.

This...

This is war.

Taking in a deep breath, you answer his uncalled for declaration with your own thunderous shout of, “Baji watched Boku no Pico and jacked off to it! Twice!”

Baji laughs. “Oh, pray tell, saintly (Y/n), how many times did you jack off to it?”

“None of your fucking business, asshole.”

“Pretty fucking sure it is, since we were in the same room.”

Someone chokes, while you choke Baji.

“We. Swore. To. Secrecy. You. Asshole,” you practically growl, with each of your words accompanied by a ruthless back-and-forth shaking of the other boy’s person.

“Let up on the choking, dude. I’m not into that. You, however-”

Unable to take the ceaseless slander to your name anymore, you reel your fist back, but, upon seeing Baji’s cheek turned to you, jaw jutted out, as if inviting you to take your best shot, you hesitate. You know you wouldn’t be able to pack enough of a punch to actually leave an impact on him, which is terribly upsetting.

On the bright side, there’s still one tactic you can use that’ll be just as effective, a technique courtesy of your health teacher, who happily taught it to the class to use in case of an emergency.

Technically, it’s meant to be used to assess a person’s level of consciousness, but you suppose it can be used to get back at inconsiderate idiots, too.

“Ow! Ow! What the fuc-! Ow!”

You keep a straight face as you continue to rub your knuckles against his sternum, fully intent on delivering the worst possible pain to the current bane of your existence. It brings a sort of sadistic satisfaction to hear the ever prideful Baji’s screams of pain, and while it doesn’t completely undo the damage done, it does help soothe your wounded self-esteem.

“You want me stop? Beg for it.”

“Pissing, roleplay, choking, and begging? Goddam- OW!”

Your reign of terror comes to its untimely end when you’re lifted up into the air by the armpits, and through the haze of your power trip, you realize that Baji’s saving grace is Draken, who proceeds to carry you out of the parlor with ease.

“People are staring,” he coolly explains when you protest to having unfinished business.

Pouting, you cross your arms over your chest. “It’s his fault.”

Once outside, Draken doesn’t immediately put you back on your feet, until Mikey strolls out of the parlor. Only when the gang leader has his arms outstretched to you are you promptly deposited on the ground and taken into his embrace.

“Are you done letting off some steam?” is the first thing he asks you. Even though you can’t see his expression, the way he holds you and the way he cradles the back of your head, handling you with the utmost care, is indication enough that there will be no reprimand for, essentially, assaulting your division commander. (You would argue that it was an act of self defense against verbal harassment, but whatever.)

There’s just an overwhelming amount of love. So, so, so much love for each other.

“Yeah, I am,” you eventually answer, followed by a content sigh.

“Good.”

Naturally, that’s the perfect time for the tinkling of the bells above the parlor door to pilfer your attention. Baji’s appearance causes your face to morph into a scowl.

You cling tighter to Mikey, peeking over his shoulder to flip the ravenet off and mouth, ‘Go to Hell.’

As always, Baji answers your attempt to appear opposing with an obnoxious smirk.

‘See you there.’

~~~

“Boku no Pico, huh?”

“Draken, don’t laugh! Baji forced me to watch it!”

“All 3 episodes?”

“Twice.”

“...”

“...”

“Favorite scene...?”

“As if I’d have one.”

"Actually-"

“Ahh! Shut up! Why are you here, stupid Baji?! You live in the other direction!”

~~~

“Hey, (Y/n). Want to try doing the same thing with me?”

You look up, perplexed. Mikey literally just walked into the room, and that was the first thing he said to you.

“Do wha-?”

Your breath catches in your throat when you turn your head, only for you to come centimeters from bumping noses with him. And because he can, he lovingly knocks your foreheads together, too.

“It’s okay. I promise it’ll definitely be fun.”

You should feel ashamed for recognizing the same sequence of lines from Boku no Pico so quickly, though any coherent words are overtaken by an incomprehensible, high-pitched screech, a feat achieved solely by a teenage boy going through puberty.

A combination of shock and amusement crosses over Mikey’s features then. He’s never heard you make that sound before.

It’s cute. Strains the ears quite a bit, but cute.

While Draken lurks beside him, questioning Mikey’s standards of what constitutes as ‘cute,’ you’re sprinting across the room, red-faced, to Baji, who’s already grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Stop tainting my boyfriend, you piece of shit! Give him back his innocence!”

(Unbeknownst to you, whilst immersed in your fit of hysterics, your use of the word ‘boyfriend’ has a certain blond beaming.

“Did you hear that, Ken-chin? He called me his boyfriend.”

“Wow, congrats.”

Mikey either doesn’t give a shit or is simply too smitten to acknowledge Draken’s apathetic response.)

Baji blinks, unable to believe what you’re trying to insinuate. “Innocent? That little gremlin motherfucker?”

Both of you look in Mikey’s direction. When he sees you staring, he breaks out in a smile and throws a wave.

Your heart involuntarily skips a beat at the sight, and, okay, you’re convinced. Mikey deserves better than knowing of that cursed series’ existence.

Clearly, you’re down bad for Toman’s leader, and as such, Baji figures he can use that to quench his boredom for the day.

“Ooh, if only you knew what he gets off to.”

The tone in his voice instantly rouses suspicion. You narrow your eyes at him. “I don’t care what kind of porn he gets off to.”

“Porn? Nah, ya silly goose-”

“Don’t call me that.”

Baji ignores your comment as he moves to sling one arm around your shoulders, the other raising up to mimic an obscene tugging motion that no teenage boy is a stranger to.

“He jerks it to yo-”

BAM!

One second, Baji is lazily hanging off of your person, the next, he’s sprawled out on the floor, face down, and groaning in pain. You expect nothing less after witnessing him receive a rather impressive flying kick to the chest from Mikey.

Before you can assess the full damage, your view gets obscured by a pair of keys.

“Wanna take my bike out for a spin?”

Yes, you know Mikey is trying to divert your attention from whatever Baji was going to say, and, yes, you probably should check on the figure that has yet to get up.

But do you really care?

You take one glance at Baji’s concerningly unmoving body and quickly come to a conclusion.

You do not.

That being said, you quite literally drag Mikey and, by extension, Draken out of there, chanting an excited, “Let’s go!” on your way, abandoning Baji to wither on the ground.

Baji?

Baji feels betrayed.

~~~

"Chifuyu?”

“Hm?”

“Y’know, I was joking.” Baji flips onto his back with a grunt. “Man, who knew Mikey was all grown up?”

The vice captain of the first division hums, seemingly uninterested in his commander’s musings.

It goes quiet for a few minutes, the sole instigator of noise being Chifuyu flipping the pages of his manga.

Unpredictable is Baji, and the same goes for his train of thought.

“I should punch Mikey for kicking me.”

“No, you’d get beat up.”

“...”

“I should punch (Y/n) for Mikey kicking me.”

Truly, unpredictable and senseless.

“You’d still get beat up.”

Baji opens his mouth to argue.

“By Mikey.”

He promptly closes it.

“Fuck it. I’ll keep spicing up their relationship as payback.”

Sighing, Chifuyu closes his book to crouch down next to him. “Baji-san, with all due respect, you’re an asshole.”

Baji Keisuke has experienced betrayal twice today.

And he deserved it both times.

[fific7]

Evil Twins - Part 1

Billy Russo & Aleksander Morozova x Reader

Summary: When two worlds which have already collided then collide with yours - that’s an explosive situation.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly a mix of fluff and angst with quite a lot of lemon zest 🍋 My Fantasy Punisher/Shadow and Bone crossover AU.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My photo edit)

New York City

Billy Russo awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed and grabbing for his Glock. What the hell? Thunder was rumbling loudly overhead and he sighed, putting the gun back under his pillow and laying his head back down. It was probably the bright flash of the lightning followed by the beginning of the thunderclap that had awakened him.

He was just closing his eyes again when he spotted something, only vaguely visible in the dim light from outside, in the corner of his room. It was…. swirling?

Grabbing his gun again, he sat up and pointed the Glock at the corner. It was getting bigger. “You’ve got two seconds to show yourself before I blow your fucking head off,” he announced, calmly.

He squinted a bit to get a better look but it didn’t make much difference. What the fuck was it?! Smoke? He decided he had no choice and leant over, switching on the wall-mounted bedside light.

The… smoke cloud?… was still increasing, becoming bigger and blacker with every second. Then he saw the vaguest silhouette of a tall figure within it, moving towards him. He leapt out of bed, on the far side of it so it was between him and whatever the fuck this was.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Aleksander Morozova - or General Kirigan, the Darkling, the Black Heretic, the Starless Saint, whichever of his many names he decided to call himself at any given point in time - could see a tall figure brandishing some kind of strange gun at him as he began to emerge from the swirling shadows.

Following certain unfortunate incidents - including a huge and furious argument with his darling mother - he’d decided it would be politic to get out of Ravka for a while, much as he didn’t really want to. But this wasn’t where he should’ve ended up. What was this place?

He emerged completely from the shadows and immediately felt something bounce off his kefta. He heard a ‘ding’ and looked down at the wooden floor at his feet. A bullet.

Looking quickly back up, he saw that the man opposite him was glaring at him, eyes wide and unbelieving, gun still pointing at him. He also realised that looking at this man was like looking in a mirror.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was dumbfounded. He’d just shot the fucker! And the bullet had bounced off him. Fuck. He threw the gun down onto the bed and slid his hand under his other pillow, pulling out his Ka-Bar. No way he’d get past that.

He took a moment to have a good look at the dude opposite him.

Dressed in riding boots and some kinda long black tunic thing, with a black fur-collared full-length cape over it. What a freak! Was he a goth or something? But then he realised something even freakier…. this guy looked exactly like him.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The two of them were still contemplating each other, when finally Billy spoke. “Who are you? And what are you?”

Aleksander laughed. “Usually it’s me asking those questions.” Billy huffed, “You’re in my fuckin’ apartment, so just answer them!” He saw the guy draw himself up, and he said, “I am Aleksander Morozova, also known as General Kirigan, commander of the Second Army of the Grisha.”

“Means fuck all to me,” grunted Billy. “One name not enough for you? And why do you look like me? Are you some kinda shapeshifter or somethin’?”

“I have many names because I am centuries old. And I don’t know what a… shapeshifter?…is,” said the other, “…but I am the Shadow Summoner. And who are you? Where is this?” he waved a hand round at the apartment.

Billy scoffed, “Centuries old?!! Oh fuck off. You’re the same age as me by the looks of ya! I’m Billy Russo, ex-US Marine Lieutenant and now CEO of Anvil. That’s a security company, mainly staffed by ex-military vets. And this….” he also waved his hand around, “…is my penthouse apartment in New York City.”

Aleksander shook his head, “I have never heard of that place.”

Billy eye-rolled, “How can you not have heard of New York?!” he asked, incredulously. “And what the fuck is a Shadow Summoner?”

“It’s becoming obvious we are from two different worlds. I seem to have been diverted from my intended course, I don’t know why,” shrugged Aleksander. “Well maybe it’s time you took off to wherever it is you were headed for in the first place,” said Billy.

“It seems that I have been brought here for some specific reason,” replied Aleksander, “and it also seems I cannot leave for the moment, I have already tried.” He waved both hands around, firstly extending and then curling up his fingers, watching them closely as he did but it was clear that nothing at all was happening. “You see? Nothing. It is worrying to me. My shadows are no longer obeying my commands at present.”

Billy sighed and perched on the edge of his bed, “Great! Just fuckin’ great! This is just…! So when can you leave?” The other man spread out his arms, “I have no idea.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Devon, UK

Way across the Atlantic, you were already hard at work in your little bookstore in Appledore, Devon. You had a snug apartment above the store and had filled it with lots of your favourite things. It was a cute little coastal town and you loved living there. The community was small and friendly especially in the winter months, only increasing in summer with all the tourists who came to stay. As long as you made a decent living during the holiday season - which you normally did - then winter was a much calmer, chilled time of year.

You added a final book to the new display in the centre of your store and stepped back to take in how it was looking. Yeah, not bad if you did say so yourself. It was comprised of a fantasy trilogy for young adults about some ancient guy who could summon up shadows, and was a bit of a villain from what you could tell from the story synopsis on the book covers.

Not your cup of tea, to be honest. Generally speaking, all types of action stories were more your thing - something with a bit of ‘va-va-voom’. In fact, you were looking forward to tonight when you’d decided you were going to sit down with a nice tub of ice cream and rewatch one of your favourite series. The one with a relentless avenging ex-Marine whose family had been killed and his psycho ex-Marines buddy. Who happened to be rather hot to your mind.

You sighed a little, heading back behind the counter. That was the only thing about Appledore. It was a lovely place, but there was a distinct lack of hot guys.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

New York City

Billy and Aleksander were sitting on separate sofas in Billy’s living area, eyeing each other warily. Aleksander had been trying to explain to Billy all about his world, the Grisha, the Fold, volcras, Ravka, the Sun Summoner, sand skiffs - as much as he could.

It had blown Billy’s mind, to be honest. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. In turn, he’d explained all about his military career and the shitshow which had eventually developed once he’d come back to New York. Aleksander looked as equally confused as Billy.

Billy sighed, “I mean, what the hell are you gonna do? You don’t belong here. I need to go to work in a couple of hours. I’m not leaving you here so I’d need to take you to Anvil with me, and you sure as hell can’t go out looking like that.”

Aleksander looked down at his kefta which he’d unbuttoned. His cape was draped over the back of the sofa. “What is wrong with the way I look?” he huffed. “S’pose I could always say you were going to a Comic Con,” muttered Billy. “A what?” “A Comic Con. it’s where fans of fantasy comics go to have fun. They dress up as their favourite characters sometimes. I could always say it was cosplay.”

Aleksander shook his head, “I still don’t understand what you’re talking about. Are you saying I’d look out of place in my uniform? All the Grisha wear these,” he pointed at his kefta. “Not what we wear here,” said Billy, “…and I still don’t get why you look so much like me.”

“I have no idea!” said Aleksander, through gritted teeth, “I told you that already!” “Alright, alright! Calm down.” “I AM CALM!!!” roared the other man.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

New York City

Slightly later that morning, Billy was showered, suited and booted and ready for work. He’d persuaded his uninvited visitor to put on a borrowed leather jacket of Billy’s over his kefta as Aleksander refused to take it off. He’d also made him put on a pair of black trainers, which he’d done very reluctantly. These two items had instantly transformed the freaky-looking guy into someone at least a little more acceptable to your average New Yorker.

Aleksander was wriggling around in the jacket, “It’s not very comfortable.” Billy heaved yet another large sigh - he felt like this was all he’d been doing this morning - “Look, just wear it! You’ll get used to it.” He noticed the other guy sniffing at the collar of the jacket, then his eyes lifted to Billy’s, “You wear perfume?!” “Men’s cologne,” snapped Billy, “or aftershave, as it’s also known because - guess what! - you use it after you’ve shaved!”

His fingers stroking his chin, Aleksander nodded, “Okay, that I understand. We do not use this perfume in Ravka.” “Cologne!” yelled Billy. “Fine, cologne then. Why don’t you like it when I call it perfume? That’s what it is, after all.” “Women wear perfume. Men wear cologne. Okay? Now c’mon, I’m gonna be late.”

Billy strode over to his front door and tried to open it. The handle wouldn’t budge. He shook it, rattled it, pulled the door handle back and forward, exerting more and more strength but nothing worked. He stood back from the door. “It won’t open,” he said, rather unnecessarily. He looked at Aleksander, “Is this you? Or something to do with you?” “No!” he protested, “I have nothing to do with this.”

A somewhat raspy female voice spoke from behind them, “No, but I do.”

The two men swung round, both gaping as they saw that there were what could only be described as rippling waves distorting the whole interior of Billy’s flat. The light had also diminished quite drastically and then they both saw a woman’s head and shoulders start to become defined and then fully visible in amongst the ripples. She seemed to float there at head height but she obviously wasn’t physically present.

“Mother!” exclaimed Aleksander.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Devon, UK

You snuggled down amongst the soft cushions on your sofa, tub of ice cream and spoon in hand and scrolled to the series you were looking for. It was quite gory in places but you loved it - except for the bit right at the end where the hot dude got killed. That made you sad although you couldn’t deny he definitely had psychopathic tendencies.

As you were looking for the one you wanted to watch, another series caught your eye in the ‘Suggested for You’ section. Hey, it must be based on that trilogy of books you had in the store right now. Maybe you’d give it a try after you’d finished your current one.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

New York City

“Mother?” echoed Billy, “….what’s going on here?!”

The woman’s head swivelled towards him then back to Aleksander. “My two boys, together again. How sweet.”

“What!?” said the two men in tandem. She gave a bitter laugh, “How I managed to produce two such problematic children, I’ll never know.” “What are you talking about, Baghra?” ground out Aleksander. Billy was just standing there, dumbfounded and looking between the two of them when suddenly her glare focussed in on him.

“Maxim.” Billy returned her stare, “I’m Billy!” he corrected her. She shook her head, “You will forever be Maxim to me. And as I’m your mother, do not argue with me. Now…. no doubt Aleksander has been making a great fuss about how he’s many centuries old, has he?” “He did mention it,” said Billy, begrudgingly. She nodded, “I thought he might have. Listen to me, both of you. You are twins, so obviously you were born within minutes of each other. To me.” The two men exchanged glances, before looking back at her. “It became obvious to me that Aleksander - from a relatively early age - was going to cause himself and everyone around him nothing but trouble and strife, so I took a radical step.” “What did you do, Baghra?” questioned Aleksander.

“If you’d have patience, I’m trying to tell you!” she snapped, before continuing, “I got one of the few Heartrenders in existence at that time to take Maxim out of Ravka to a secret location. There, he placed him in long-term suspended animation. When you…” she pointed an accusatory finger at Aleksander, “….started all that nonsense with the Sun Summoner and hunting for the stag, I travelled with another Heartrender to where Maxim was, and brought him out of his enforced hibernation. I had to protect him as there was no guarantee you’d survive, Aleksander.” She stared at his scowling face and carried on speaking.

“He had no memories remaining of his past life and so I took him into the forest, there is a portal there which only I know of. There used to be more knew about it but I am the only one left now. Other universes can be reached through it. And I decided to send Maxim to another one. This one. It was only three months ago in Ravkan time, but in this universe more than thirty years have passed.”

“Wait… what?!” Billy was pissed. “You… you just threw me into some portal and walked away? Not knowing where I would end up?” “I had to save one of my sons!” she spat out, “…the other one had lost his mind and was on a collision course with disaster!” Billy put his head in his hands, before looking up again and raging at her, “I was abandoned for a second time by the woman I thought was my mother in this universe! She was a drug user, a total mess! I was placed in an orphanage… it was terrible!” He saw a remorseful look pass over her face for a split second, “I am sorry, Maxim! But I had no choice. Then I had to step in again when he…” pointing again at Aleksander, “….was nearly killed by volcras. I managed to get him to the portal before he fully regained consciousness. He thinks it was his idea to leave Ravka after we had an argument, but I managed to plant that idea in his mind before I pushed him into the portal.”

Billy and Aleksander both snorted in unison, then glanced at each other again. Billy looked back at her, “You’re sorry? That doesn’t quite cover it. I went to war! And now I’m in a very bad situation due to things which went down in Afghanistan during that war.” Aleksander chipped in, “And how dare you make a decision like sending me to another universe without consulting me first?”

The sigh Baghra gave echoed round the apartment. “You are a pair of ungrateful whelps! And now it sounds like I have to get you of trouble too!” She pointed at Billy this time. “I firstly had to find some very old documents about it, but I managed to find out how to enter the limbo section of the portal, which this is, because I wished to speak to both of you before I sent you on your next journey.” She lifted her hands and swirled them around in a kind of ritualistic fashion, “Be on your way to the next universe!” she chanted, and suddenly the rippling got even more pronounced.

Billy and Aleksander began feeling overwhelmingly dizzy, feeling as if they were falling but in fact realised they seemed to be rushing through time and space.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Devon, UK

It was Saturday tomorrow so because you could sleep in a bit as you opened later, you finished the first series (but not the second one - it always upset you) of the one you’d originally been watching, and had then moved on to the one based on the trilogy.

You peered more closely at your TV screen - yeah! you were right, the hot bad guy looked so similar to the hot bad dude in the other series they could be twins! Was it the same actor? You’d need to check on the credits but it must be, surely.

No reflection on the series you were watching, but having finished your ice cream you dozed off during episode 6.

You woke up - you had no idea how much later - and as you sat up slightly, realised that you were feeling very strange. Standing up from the sofa, you were so dizzy that you collapsed back down onto it. You tried not to panic, but you’d no clue as to why you felt so unwell all of a sudden.

Then you noticed that your apartment appeared to be rippling. Rippling??!! What the…. The rippling waves began to die down a little and you were suddenly aware of two looming figures standing over you. Their outlines and features slowly became more defined, more solid, and eventually you realised you were looking up at both the hot bad dudes from the TV.

Of course you were.

Okay, your reeling mind said to you, maybe the celestial Powers That Be had been listening when you were complaining about the lack of hot guys in your town.

They were both looking down at you, clear interest in their eyes. Maybe because you were wearing silky shorts with matching tank T. Your sleepwear didn’t leave too much to the imagination.

So you stared at them, and they stared right back at you, although again you were acutely aware of two sets of very dark eyes roaming all over your body.

You wondered if someone had spiked your ice cream.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

[hopeandvolleyball]

insecure boys pt.1

genre: angst if you squint, fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: food, weight insecurities in osamus

w/ osamu, atsumu

osamu miya

osamu had gotten home from work a little more than an hour ago, and he figured he’d been spending that entire time looking at the mirror, pinching the newfound softness piling onto his tummy. he’s been squeezing and kneading the flesh for so long it was turning red. lips twisted to the side, osamu sighed. when did he gain this much weight? how did he let this happen? osamu could barely look at himself in the mirror without feeling ugly and ashamed. mumbling under his breath he pulled a looser hoodie over his head, grateful it wasn’t starting to become tight around his middle.

you called his name from the kitchen, an indicator dinner was ready. in all honesty he didn’t feel like going out there, the idea of eating making him nauseous. but he still entered the living room, unable to fully wipe the crestfallen look off his face. even seeing your bubbly frame and pretty smile in the kitchen couldn’t fully heal him from his insecure thoughts clouding his mind. setting the utensils down, you ran up to hug osamu, arms around his waist. he surpressed the urge to push your arms down, not wanting you to feel his plush stomach. your eyes looked at him with pure adoration, sparkles and hearts swimming in your irises. osamu placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. 

“dinner will be ready in a few minutes, just gotta plate it and stuff,” you informed him, sounding so giddy. “might not look as pretty as when you make it but-”

“’bout that. ‘m not really hungry, darlin. ate a bit too much while at the shop today,” he lied not smoothly. he felt the familiar nausea creep back up his throat. he felt even worse at the frown tugging at the sides of your lips.

“you’re a bad liar, samu,” you commented, hands on your hips. “what’s wrong love? talk to me, please?” you pleaded. osamu knew he couldn’t keep it in anymore, not from you. it wasn’t fair. his stoic expression began to soften and quiver.

“when did i let myself go?” osamu asked, his voice starting to break. your brows furrowed and lips curled into a pout. you pulled him close to you, slipping your fingers through his dark brown locks as he held on to you with all the force he had. 

“what on earth are you talking about, samu?” you inquired as he squeezed you tighter.

“’m fat, darlin,” he whimpered. “i hate lookin’ at myself in the mirror and i don’t know why yer still with me.” that broke your heart, you heart it shatter into a hundred pieces as he spoke. you opened your mouth to speak but he continued. you decided it best to let him rant. “every day ya see ‘tsumu and i can’t help but thinkin’ ye’d want a guy like that. i used to be that and i’m so disappointed-”

“lovebug you own a restaurant,” you determined with a flat expression. osamu blinked, the tears forming in the corners of his eyes disappearing. 

“yeah. i know that. what does-”

“so its natural for you to gain weight if your working with food consistently,” you cut him off again. “do you think i expected a good chef to be completely cut? no i didn’t. besides, you wear the weight well.” osamu blinked.

“ye noticed?” he tilted his head to the side. 

“of course i did. i never said anything because i didn’t care. you look just as good, if not better, because the added weight means i’m taking care of you. that i’m treating you well.” you leaned up to kiss his temple. “if you want to lose the weight fine, samu. but i’m upset you’d do it by not eating. i want you to be safe and healthy, okay?” your hand caressed his cheek, drenched with newly found tears. “oh samu, i’m sorry-”

“yer fine darlin,” he sniffled, smiling brightly for the first time that day. “thank ya. i love ya more than i could ever tell ya.”

“i love you too osamu,” you kissed his lips sweetly. “now come on you need to eat.” dinner went by just fine, your eyes on him the entire time to be sure he ate his fill, watching him smile and hum after each bite. you loved osamu so much and you wanted to make sure he knew that. after dinner you relocated to the couch, his head finding its sweet spot on your lap. your hand smoothed over his abdomen, rubbing it affectionately. he hummed again. 

“‘m gonna fall asleep if ya keep doin that,” osamu mumbled against the fabric of your pants. you giggled.

“do it. you’ve had a long day, samu. get some sleep lovebug. i love you so much,” you gave his sides a pat. osamu hummed again, mumbling affections under his breath as he doze off into a gentle slumber.

atsumu miya

you waited in the living room of your shared apartment for atsumu to return home from practice. scrolling through your phone with boredom etched into your features until the front door creaked open. with bright eyes your head tilted up to see atsumu in the doorway, kicking off his shoes with a sigh. not an extra loud one like usual, which didn’t instantly tip you off. still, your lips pulled in the brightest grin possible. 

“welcome back tsumu! i missed you,” you beamed with a giggle. but all you were met with was a dismissive hum from atsumu. frowning you watched him set his volleyball bag on the table and head out to shower. okay. guess he was having a bad day today. nothing atsumu miya’s loving girlfriend couldn’t fix! pulling out your phone you ordered his favorite from his favorite takeout restaurant, waiting for him to finish showering. your knee bounced in impatience, but that all changed once atsumu emerged from his shower, drying his hair with no shirt and gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips. “hey! i ordered your favorite, i figured you could use it. you look like you’ve had a rough day.” you smiled softly. all atsumu did was nod. 

“thanks,” was his curt reply. now you were a mix of hurt and confused and upset. what did you do? why was he being so distant? was it because you forgot to text him the picture of the dog you saw during your break? or the fact that you forgot to cook the asparagus he wanted before it went bad? what was wrong with your boyfriend. he went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. pouting you followed behind him, poking his side enough to annoy him enough to look over at you.

“okay atsumu miya. what’s wrong with you?” you demanded, arms crossing under your chest, cheeks puffed up. “usually you walk into this apartment and talk my ear off about anything and everything that happened at practice and today i’m met with absolute radio silence? what’s with that?” atsumu’s brow quivered and he turned to you with dark eyes. 

“sorry that ‘m annoyin and wanna fix my behavior so ya don’t fuckin’ leave me,” atsumu spat, returning to his water glass. your expression fell and you felt your heart sink. 

“what?” was your broken reply. and of course atsumu didn’t respond. “tsumu talk to me please, what’s gotten into you?” 

“omi called me annoyin’ today, which ain’t unusual, but he said if i didn’t get my act together ye’d leave me,” atsumu shifted awkwardly, staring at his reflection in the water. you frowned and placed your hands gently on atsumu’s hips, staring up at him.

“honey, no, i’d never leave you,” you cooed. “yeah you’re loud and obnoxious-”

“not helpin’ y/n.”

“but that’s part of your charm. you always manage to have something to say and i’m always here to listen. you never make things boring. and i love that about you. i love hearing how excited you get when you talk about your day, or the frustrated lilt in your tone when you complain about people not hitting your sets.”

“because my sets are perfect!” he spoke up, voice louder than it had been all day and had an offended squeak at the end of it.

“there’s my tsumu,” you sighed sweetly. “there’s my sweet baby. kiyoomi’s full of it. i’d never leave you for something as trivial about how much you talk. now cmon. how about we have dinner and you can tell me about your day, hm?” atsumu’s eyes were bright and he nodded like a sweet golden retriever.

“and then bo-kun kept missing my sets. my sets! then he got all mopey and pouty ‘bout it and i was like dude get a grip,” atsumu rolled his eyes around a mouth full of food, causing you to giggle. “he got his shit together eventually but damn it was so annoying. and don’t get me started on omi omi...” sighing sweetly you couldn’t help but stare at your over excitable boyfriend. listening to him ramble about his day was the best part about him coming home. 

[transtalk]

“Here’s some stuff I’ve learned in my ~12 years since I started transitioning”

*Posted with permission from a Redditor who chooses to remain anonymous.  I am over 10yrs into my transition and agree with most of these points.  Thought this was a great share to help our younger transmen.

I’m 26 and I started transitioning at 14. I recently passed my 10yrs on T recently and I figured I’d pass on some random knowledge I’ve accumulated in my experience.

Physical stuff:

-Be prepared to outgrow any clothes you buy in the first 5ish years on T. You might think you’re in the clear after a couple years, you’re not. That includes shoes.

-Looking at your father and brothers for an idea of what you might look like on T isn’t always accurate. My dad and brother don’t have much body hair, I’m a damn werewolf. On the other hand, they have full heads or hair. My hair has decided to migrate from my head to, well, everywhere else.

-Mature hairlines are a thing, doesn’t necessarily mean receding. My dad has the former, I have the latter.

-Not all hair follicles grow at the same time. Your beard after not shaving for 2 weeks is not the same as your beard after not shaving 2 months and then trimming it to that same length. Ive had a thick, full beard since I was 20. I had to shave for a neck surgery and for the first month I was back to my patchy teenage beard. Right now, wearing a mask is a great opportunity if you want to try growing it out without looking ridiculous.

-Still train all of your body if you’re trying to get a more masculine physique. You may worry about having a bigger butt or thighs but trust me, it’s still important. Also, it’s not all about shoulders, chest, and arms. The lats and traps are often overlooked.

-Penises sit lower than you think and are smaller than you think. Take that into account when packing. I haven’t been in the market for many years but I pray that there are more options now that aren’t 5+”.

-If you get a hysto, hold a pillow over your belly when you cough. Trust me.

-If you have surgery in general, you’re probably going to be thirsty when you wake up. Go slow when they finally let you have water. I’ve puked on a few nurses… sorry guys.

-If you have bottom surgery with urethral lengthening, you might have extra drops of pee that get stuck. The way your urethra is situated has a different angle so more pee gets trapped in there. Press up on the gooch to get it out. Some cis guys have to do it too, it’s called the taint tap.

-Athletic fit pants are great for big booty bros.

Social/emotional stuff:

-It can be hard to see it sometimes, but plenty of cis guys have the same features you’re dysphoric about. Baby face? I’ve got male coworkers older than me that look like teenagers. Wide hips? Some dudes are bottom heavy. Short? If you pay attention, there’s short guys everywhere. The average guy doesn’t look like Channing Tatum.

-There’s a thin line between dysphoria and dysmorphia. What you see in the mirror could be totally different from what people see when they look at you.

-It’s fine to pee in the stall. Standing or sitting. Nobody gives a fuck. Even after phallo I pretty much exclusively pee in stalls. Less splashback, privacy, and pee time is me time.

-There’s another step to transitioning you might not realize: becoming confident in yourself as a man. It’s easier said than done and it can be a pretty long process. You are a manly fuckin man (or a feminine man, but you’re still a Fuckin man) and you are no less of a man than any other. You will be much happier once you can say that to yourself and truly believe it.

-You don’t owe anything to the trans community. There’s no denying there can be negativity. If it’s taking a toll on your mental health or causing more dysphoria, it’s ok to step back. You’re not obligated to involve yourself just because others in the community have helped you. You owe yourself happiness. It took me way to long to learn that. I pop in online once or twice a year in places like this sub where it typically is a civil environment but I limit it to that.

-Along the same lines, it’s ok to be stealth. You are more than your gender and it’s ok if you don’t want others to define you by that. Again, you don’t owe anybody anything. You can support the trans community without disclosing. Vote in support of trans rights, call people out on their bigotry, donate to charities, etc. And unfortunate as it is, your voice is sometimes more heard as an ally than as a trans person.

-Even if you finished the required therapy to get hormones/surgery it’s good to stick with it if you can. I know it’s not possible financially or time wise for everyone, but if you can, you should. All of your struggles don’t magically disappear when you medically transition. It’s good to have a professional help you process everything. I honestly think most people in general can benefit a lot from therapy.

-You could still have some dysphoria even when you have fully transitioned (whatever you define that as for yourself). Many don’t but it’s not a guarantee. I’m sorry to break that to anyone who is just starting their transition but it’s important to realize. If you recognize it, you can learn to cope. I still feel some dysphoria occasionally about the things I cant change. Mainly that I can’t be the biological father to my children. I have to remember that it’s not genetics that makes a father, it’s love and care.

My experience obviously isn’t going to be the same as everyone else’s but I hope this can help someone a little bit.