(This is the "Hero loses faith" act.) (You used to love those moments in plays.) (The darkest act, where the Hero, at their lowest point, is alone. Only their thoughts for company. They often forget what they're even fighting for.)
Siffrin and In Stars And Time belong to @insertdisc5
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something i've been thinking about:
Wally is set up as a sort of "main character" by the whrp. he's said in the site's description of the show to have introduced the main theme/lesson of the day's episode, and then the rest of the neighbors join him on his escapades. but then we have our first glimpses of everyone's actual dynamics and characters through the audios and you look at Wally and its like
first of all, thats an npc. second, nearly everybody else has severe main character syndrome
but its fascinating how Wally is just kind of... There. he doesnt talk much. he doesnt contribute beyond a couple of lines. its more like he joins the others on their shenanigans. he fades into the background. he's off to the side while everyone else holds conversations & leads the moment
Wally, despite being described as Thee character, is borderline background.
& whats even more interesting, within his individual secret audio files and interactions - he's almost chatty. not only that but the way he talks is more confident and faster paced. he's taking initiative. he can be kinda pushy. when talking to the qa/whrp/Us, he acts more like the character his descriptions portray. he acts more like a person instead of a puppet waiting for his next cue
I cant tell if - when around the neighbors - his tepid milk behavior is a purposeful act or if he's masking. and if he's masking, is it deliberate or involuntary? and in regards to both, why is he acting so different? It could be tied to what he's trying to accomplish. if he's trying to "restore" Welcome Home, it would make sense for him to act as he does around the neighbors - he wouldnt want to clue them in that he knows so much more than he's letting on, would he?
but then that begs another train of thought - what if he isn't acting or masking? if there is a time discrepancy between Wally's interactions with the qa/whrp/Us & the more 'official' audios, that could explain the difference in behavior. we could be getting glimpses into "future" (read: current) Wally, who's had much more time to figure himself out since we can safely assume he started out as a blank slate. we could be seeing a more experienced Wally than the one seen with his friends.
of course that line of thinking loses some merit when considering the 14 "bug" audios. or it could lend to it... if we're seeing a more experienced Wally but his friends are only seeing what he allows them to. it's still him, just... a carefully curated version.
in general it could really tie into the themes of identity and change and being other, to me. when you're so different - or you feel so different - that you can't bring yourself to be your most authentic you around your friends. when you feel like you have to hold back and be who you think they expect you to be, or what would be most palatable. most normal. will they accept you as you really are? there's always the fear and terror that the people you consider closest to you won't. or when you're so scared of change that you'll shove down & lock away parts of yourself so that you can keep things as you are. because once they know you've changed, so will they. and really, do you want to even accept that you've changed? what if that's what scares you most of all - that you're different, you've metamorphosized, you can't go back to the way things were because you yourself are no longer the person you were before. there is no reversing this no matter how much you try or pretend
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i'm so unironically baffled at the amount of downgrades this site pushes out on a nearly weekly basis at this point. Near half if not all of them are almost completely useless and give absolutely zero benefit to user experience, if anything @staff is quite literally distancing their userbase.... do you think i want another twitter? Like what purpose or benefit does taking away dash avatars has... what's the benefit of taking away basic accessibility features.. fucking genuinely. I hate it here. I don't know how many more feedback letters I have to send in order for all this shit to stop... i'm so tired.
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it's getting cold + snowing in my city and I am so fucking angry because this year cops have evicted more encampments then we can ever remember them doing in like the past five years. it keeps happening when we're going to do outreach + mobile syringe exchange and we'll drive past the spots we always go to and our neighbors are just gone, because in the middle of the night without announcing it cops evicted everyone. and like they've been doing this shit for years but it is so much worse this year. they've put in so much more new anti homeless and anti sex work architecture this year and even though there's some rad ppl fucking it up, there's still so much. and i'm just fucking livid every time we go out there for overnight outreach and all my sex worker friends tell me how much more cops are harassing them this year like. fuck this shit so much. stop criminalizing survival. we keep losing track of so many ppl because of this and we keep having to wonder who's alive and who died bc the cops trashed their tent and it's fucking below freezing outside. we lost four people in october and november who were murdered for being trans sex workers and it's just. there is so much grief and there is so much anger and i want to tear it all down
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Are any other fellow autistics also just. incapable of speaking without making references to media. Even when I have absolutely no idea what media a line is from I'll still say it. I'm referencing movies I haven't seen since I was five. I thought I was original going around saying "Kill him" to everything and then I realised I was referencing pal pee teen from star wars revenge of the sith. I can't escape it.
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i dunno if it's just me but,, he looks like he's about to angry-cry??
not sobbing, not breaking down, just silent tears as his anger and helplessness rage inside him.
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