#like happy sad bittersweet soft loving consuming

[lemongogo]

pearly drops i cry while you sleep .. song ov the century xx

[brideofmbappe]

Missing My Baby || Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x reader

Raindrops pelted the windows as Kylian stared out, the pitter-patter echoing the rhythm of his racing heart. He had been restless, consumed by thoughts of you. The heated argument still played in his mind, the words exchanged and the raw emotions that had torn you both apart. He missed you terribly; the laughter, the shared moments, the love. Each day without you felt like an eternity, and his regret weighed heavily on him.

He poured himself into football, channeling his emotions onto the field. 

The stadium lights illuminated the pitch, casting an intense glow that mirrored the fire within Kylian. As the opponents charged, he couldn't help but see them as an embodiment of his frustrations.

His movements were fueled by a mix of anger and determination. With each dribble, each pass, and each shot, he unleashed his inner turmoil upon the game. The ball seemed to be an extension of his emotions, driven with a ferocity that only he understood. Scoring felt like a release, a brief moment where the weight on his chest lifted.

But even as he dominated the match, a void remained. In between plays, his mind would drift to thoughts of you. He remembered the way your eyes lit up when you saw him, the soft touch of your hand in his, the countless memories that now seemed distant. The cheers of the crowd were a bittersweet symphony, a reminder of how much he had to prove – not just to them, but to himself as well.

Practice was both a sanctuary and a battleground.

Kylian pushed himself harder, the physical strain helping to momentarily overshadow the emotional pain. Yet, there were moments when he faltered, his concentration slipping as your name echoed in his thoughts. He would catch himself, frustration and sadness clashing within him.

The other players noticed the change, the usually happy Kylian appearing somewhat distant and preoccupied.

Nights were the hardest. Exhausted from training and the game, Kylian would return home, hoping to hear your voice, to share the events of the day as he had done countless times before. He would step into the shower, allowing the water to cascade over him, masking the tears that mingled with it. He would close his eyes and for a fleeting moment, imagine that you were there, that the distance between you had vanished. But reality always came crashing back, a cruel reminder that he was alone.

In those moments, the emptiness felt suffocating. The arguments, the regrets, the echoing silence – they all merged into an overwhelming ache that refused to subside. He would call your name softly, almost expecting you to respond from the next room.

The loneliness would settle in, a heavy weight that seemed impossible to escape. And as the water spiraled down the drain, so did his tears, carrying away some of the pain but never truly washing it all away.

But Kylian wasn't the only one struggling.

You had been grappling with the aftermath of the argument as well. The silence between you was deafening, and the emptiness in your heart was unbearable. Every corner of your life seemed to remind you of Kylian, the joy he had brought, and the love you had shared. Each night was filled with tossing and turning, your thoughts consumed by his absence. His words during the argument had cut deeper than you had ever anticipated. The pain was etched into your every thought, replaying his hurtful phrases over and over again.

You found solace in the little pieces of him that remained. Clinging to his pillow, you would bury your face in it, desperately inhaling the lingering scent that was uniquely his. It was a bittersweet comfort, a connection to a time when you were intertwined in each other's lives. But nothing couldn't fill the void he had left behind, and it certainly couldn't mend the shattered pieces of your heart.

Nights turned into days, and days turned into weeks, but the ache persisted. You moved through life like a ghost, a mere shadow of the vibrant person you once were. The laughter that used to flow so easily now felt like a distant memory. The world had lost its colors; everything seemed to be draped in shades of gray.

Sometimes, in the midst of your loneliness, you swore you could hear his voice. A whisper carried by the wind, a faint echo in an empty room. Your heart would skip a beat, hope sparking briefly before reality crashed down again.

You would find yourself turning around, half-expecting to see him standing there, that familiar grin on his face. But it was always a cruel trick of your imagination.

Part of you longed to reach out, to bridge the gap that had formed between you two. But another part of you held back, afraid of being hurt again, afraid that things might never be the same. The battle waged within you, tearing at your insides and leaving you feeling utterly lost.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. The pain had become a constant companion, an unwelcome guest in the house of your heart. You often wondered if life would ever regain its vibrancy, if you would ever find the strength to forgive or move on.

The uncertainty was suffocating, and you clung to the memories of what once was, hoping that someday, the wounds would heal and you would find a way to piece together the fragments of your shattered heart.

On a rainy night, the sky's tears seemed to mirror the emotions in both your hearts. The doorbell rang, interrupting your thoughts. With cautious hope, you opened the door to find Kylian standing there, soaked to the bone but with a determined look in his eyes. In his trembling hands, he held a bouquet of white roses. 

His voice cracked as he began to speak, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I've missed you so much. I can't stand not talking to you. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry for what I said. It was all my fault, and I wish I could take it back. I regret it all, every word, every moment we've spent apart. I can't bear to be without you. I've been dying to see you, to hold you, to tell you how much you mean to me." 

Tears mingled with raindrops on his cheeks as he poured out his heart, his emotions laid bare. The sight of Kylian, usually composed and strong, brought a pang of sympathy to your heart. You couldn't stand to see him like this, broken and vulnerable.

"Kylian," you whispered, your voice a mixture of forgiveness and understanding. "I've missed you too." And with those simple words, the dam holding back your emotions cracked, and tears streamed down your face as well. 

Without another word, Kylian pulled you into his arms, his grip strong yet tender. The scent of rain and his cologne filled the air as his embrace melted away the days of distance. The world seemed to fade around you both as he lifted your chin, his eyes locking onto yours. 

His lips met yours in a kiss that spoke volumes - a kiss filled with longing, regret, and a burning desire to make things right. It was a kiss that rekindled the fire that had been smoldering within you both. Slowly, he pulled away, his forehead resting against yours as his thumb wiped away the remnants of tears from your cheeks. 

"I've been so deprived of your touch ma belle," he admitted, his voice a mixture of husky desire and vulnerability. Without breaking eye contact, he scooped you up in his arms, effortlessly lifting you off the ground. A surprised laugh escaped your lips as he carried you, your heart pounding with a mix of joy and relief. 

As he ascended the stairs, each step brought you closer to a reunion you had both been craving. He set you down on the bed, his hands running over your body as if he were memorizing every inch. You could feel him trembling, his breathing coming out ragged as he looked at you, his eyes dark and intense. 

You reached for his shirt, pulling it off his shoulders, eager to see him again. He leaned forward, pressing soft kisses along your collarbone, and you felt yourself melt under his touch. His lips brushed against yours, his tongue slipping between them. 

You moaned softly, kissing him back, eager for more. His hands slid up your waist, his fingers brushing against your breasts, causing your nipples to harden. Your hands moved to his belt buckle, undoing it with ease, eager to get at his flesh. He stepped back, watching you intently, his eyes dark and hungry. 

You could tell he wanted to rip your clothes off, but you weren't about to let that happen just yet. You smiled mischievously as you slowly undid his pants, pulling them down to reveal his boxers. 

His cock strained against the fabric, and you couldn't wait to see it again. You ran your hand up the length of his shaft, feeling him throb in response. You gently tugged at his boxers, sliding them down his legs, exposing his cock, already glistening with precum. You looked in his eyes as you took it in your hand, stroking it gently. 

He groaned, his eyes closing as he savored the sensation. You kissed his tip, swirling your tongue around the head, tasting him. He gasped, his hands tangling in your hair, pushing you harder against him. You moaned, loving the feel of his cock in your mouth. 

You began to bob your head up and down, taking him deeper and deeper, sucking on him like crazy. His hips thrust forward, meeting your motions, urging you to take more. You looked up at him, a smile playing across your face. "Oh yes," you heard him whisper. "That feels so good." You smiled, moving faster, wanting to bring him to climax. 

You felt him tense, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he held you close. You kept going, determined not to stop until he came. You felt him explode in your mouth, his cum filling your throat. You followed Kylian's lead as he guided you towards the bed, both of you eager to finish what he had started. 

He lay you gently onto the soft sheets, and then knelt between your legs. He spread them wide, inviting him into you. He took you with one long stroke, burying himself deep inside you. You threw your head back, arching your body towards him, your muscles tightening around him. He groaned, his teeth nipping at your neck. Your nails dug into his back, marking him. 

Kylian pounded into you hard, making you cry out again and again. He was close, and you knew it. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him even deeper into you. "Oh fuck, yes!" you cried, your body convulsing as you came. He groaned, slowing his pace, but never stopping. You clung to him, feeling every inch of him buried inside you. 

You couldn't get enough of him. Finally, he gave one last thrust and collapsed on top of you, his body still shaking. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He kissed your shoulder, breathing deeply. You turned your head and kissed him softly. "I love you so much mon amour," he said breathless. You smiled, stroking his cheek. 

"I love you too kyky."

[lev1hei1chou]

Faded

Nanami x reader Genre: Angst Words: 1.2k Synopsis: Breaking up with Nanami PART 2 ALTERNATIVE HAPPY ENDING Masterlist

The moon hung low in the night sky, emitting a soft glow over Tokyo. Nanami Kento sat alone in his apartment, the dim light accentuating the fatigue etched on his face. The room was filled with a heavy silence, broken only by the occasional sound of a distant car passing by.

You had been a part of Nanami's life for as long as he could remember – a blessing in the unpredictable world of curses. Your laughter echoed through the memories he held dear, a melody that had once filled the empty spaces in his heart.

However, time had a way of untangling even the most tightly woven threads of happiness. Fate had cruelly chosen to separate the two of you, leaving Nanami with a void that nothing could fill.

The scent of your favorite tea wafted through the apartment, a painful reminder of mornings spent together. Nanami mechanically prepared the tea, his movements precise but lacking the warmth that once accompanied them. As the bitter aroma filled the room, he found himself lost in the maze of memories.

It had begun with a subtle distance, an unspoken ache that settled between you and Nanami. The demands of his duty as a jujutsu sorcerer had slowly taken a toll on your relationship. Late-night missions, dangerous curses, and the constant threat of death had become a looming presence, and acted as a major source of your fear. It overshadowed the moments of happiness that you shared with your lover.

Nanami tried his best to shield you from the darkness that consumed his days, but the burden of his responsibilities became an unstoppable barrier. The lines on his face deepened with each passing mission, his exhaustion etched into every crease. You felt the strain too, the worry etching lines on your forehead.

One evening, after yet another close call, Nanami found you sitting in the dimly lit kitchen. The flickering light cast shadows on your face, emphasizing the sadness in your eyes.

"I can't do this anymore, Kento," you whispered, your voice slightly audible.

His tired eyes met yours, a silent cry for understanding. The weight of unspoken words hung in the air as you continued, "I love you, but I can't keep watching you walk into danger. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

Nanami's heart sank, the gravity of your words hitting him like a tidal wave. He wanted to reason, to convince you that he would find a way to make it work, but the tiredness in your eyes mirrored his own. The painful decision was made, and the threads that once bound you together began to untangle.

The present brought Nanami back to reality. He sat alone at the small table, staring at the untouched mug of tea before him. The room felt empty, devoid of the warmth that once used to be radiated from your very presence. He wondered if you ever thought about him, if the memories haunted your nights as they did his.

Nanami's phone buzzed on the table, a major interruption to the heavy silence. He glanced at the screen, and for a moment, hope flickered in his eyes. The hope, however, quick to vanish as he read the message – a routine mission, another night alone.

The apartment echoed with the sound of his sigh as he rose from the table. His steps were heavy as he moved towards the closet, where your things had been carefully packed away. A box filled with residues of a love that once flourished – photos, letters, and trinkets that now felt like pieces of a broken dream.

As he looked through the memories, a photograph caught his eye. It captured a moment of pure happiness, the genuine smiles on both your faces frrozen in time. Nanami traced the outline of your face with his fingertips, a bittersweet smile playing on his lips.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Nanami continued his lone existence, the routine of his life a walk towards an uncertain future. He found comfort in the familiarity of his duties, the demands of the jujutsu world leaving little room for reflecting on the past.

Yet, the pain in his heart existed, a constant reminder of the void you left behind. He began to visit the places where you once spent time together, as if hoping to catch a glimpse of your presence. This, however, only intensified the loneliness.

One rainy evening, Nanami found himself standing outside a small cafe – a place that held precious memories. The soft sound of rain against the pavement mirrored the turmoil within him. He hesitated for a moment before stepping inside, the bell above the door chiming softly.

The air inside the cafe was thick with nostalgia. Nanami ordered a cup of your favorite coffee, the bitter aroma reminding him of the echoes of the past. As he sat in the quiet corner, he couldn't stop hoping that you would walk in at any moment, smiling as if nothing had happened.

The illusion shattered when the door swung open, revealing a stranger with an umbrella, seeking refuge from the rain. Nanami's heart sank as the realization washed over him – you were not coming back. The pain intensified and threatened to suffocate him.

Time passed, and Nanami continued to steer through the difficulties of his life. He became a master at hiding the pain, wearing a stoic mask that hid the storm of emotions within. The nights were the most hardest to deal with, the silence of his apartment reminding him of the haunting memories of laughter and whispered promises.

One fateful night, as he patrolled the streets, a familiar curse appeared from the shadows. The encounter was like usual – a battle against the supernatural forces that threatened to disrupt the balance of the world. The fight, however, took an unexpected turn.

The curse, sensing Nanami's inner uneasiness, manifested in a form that mirrored the ghost of his lost love. It moved with a haunting grace, its voice echoing the words you once said. Nanami's heart raced as he fought against the apparition of his past, the lines between reality and illusion blurring.

In the midst of the battle, the curse whispered words that cut through Nanami's defense like a blade. "You chose duty over love, and now love is nothing but a disappearing echo."

The words struck something within him, a painful remainder of the choices he made. The curse, fueled by his inner turmoil, became an embodiment of the grief in his soul.

As the battle went on, Nanami found himself overwhelmed by the curse's constant and relentless attacks. He fought not only against the curse but against the painful memories that threatened to consume him. The bitter taste of regret lingered on his tongue, the weight of lost possibilities pressing down on his shoulders.

Exhausted and battered, Nanami emerged victorious. The curse dissolved into the night, leaving him alone in the quiet aftermath. The rain had stopped, leaving behind a glistening view in the city.

Nanami stood in the emptiness of the street, his breath ragged and his gaze distant. The battle had not only been against a curse but was also against the demons that lived within him. The pain, once carefully tucked away, now surged to the surface.

Brushing it off, he slowly trudged along the road to reach his house that was once a home. He was ready to be consumed by the pain of loneliness again.

A/N: I like pain

[sungbyhoon]

CAN'T FORGET . 𐙚 AN IMAGINE in which heeseung relapses when a song that reminded him of you plays.

Ever since your bittersweet break-up, Heeseung found himself relapsing at least once every week. The memories were consuming him, the sweet laughter and “love-filled” words echoing through his head, making it harder for him to forget.

He wondered where he went wrong. Why did you choose Sunghoon? Was he not enough for you? After all of the words of admiration and affection he spoke to you, the amount of times he was there for you when you didn't feel okay, why didn't you choose him?

Sometimes he doesn't know whether to be angry, sad, or happy. Angry, for one, because even with how nicely he treated you, you didn't bother to reciprocate it. You would leave him in the dark most of the time, ignoring him at times and pretending not to hear his “I love you”s.

Sad, because he wanted you back dearly. The man couldn't stand looking at you with Sunghoon for even a second, the mere thought making his eyes water from all of the memories he had with you rushing in.

Happy, because you found someone else who'll love you like he did, possibly even better. He was glad... But the emotions were all mixed up and he didn't know how to feel, resulting in a blur between real feelings and him gaslighting himself into being okay.

The slightly aggressive knocking on his car window brought him back to reality, turning his head slowly to see a homeless man asking for money. “Stupid... Stupid. You're so stupid, Heeseung.” He muttered to himself, getting $10 from his wallet before rolling down his car window to hand over the money.

Already being overwhelmed, he didn't care whether or not it was even allowed for the homeless to come to people for just money.

Money. He spent so much money on you just for your birthday 2 weeks ago, leaving him broke. So not only was he a pathetic loser who can't move on, but also a broke one.

He rolled the car window back up, the warm air from outside being replaced by the cold air conditioning of the car blowing directly into his face.

And then he heard that familiar melody. The soft jazz type shit, the lyrics entering his ears.

“Bossa nova in my room, hope that I'll find someone too to love...”

“...I've never had a shoulder to cry on, someone to call mine.”

Suddenly the lyrics weren't about missing out on love anymore. A part of it was that, but the majority of it was just... You. The lingering scent of your perfume has only now made its presence known now that that stupid song is playing.

The song hit differently when he realized you're never going to be his anymore.

NOTES. I wrote this at 11pm... was supposed to sleep but I wanted to finish it. The pain is all on Heeseung sorry I made yn a bitch lmfao

[subastian-swallows]

Dark Whispers, Light Vows

PROLOGUE: ESCAPING IS ONLY THE BEGINNING ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ

Chapter one ★

Pairing: Dark!Sebastian x AurorMC x AurorOminis - Love Triangle Fic

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: Angst baby — will eventually grow darker, angsty, smutty, painful, softer...I suppose just a little bit of everything

Summary: “In a race against time, (Auror’s) Alice and Ominis must work together to recapture their former friend Sebastian, an escapee from Azkaban. But when Sebastian begins to use a mysterious new form of magic to haunt Alice’s dreams, she’s torn between bringing him to justice or helping him escape, risking everything in the process. Love, friendship, and the battle between light and dark intertwine as Alice must decide which path she will take.”

A/N: This fic, holds a special place in my heart. I have prepared the ending and it’s very bittersweet, will be sad (that is my goal), so only go into this if you don’t mind a sad/happy ending. There will only be one choice at the end for Alice and I won’t let it be known who she picks until the final chapters...so we will see her with both Ominis and Sebastian. I look forward to showing you this little bit of me and I hope you enjoy it!ヽ༼ ಥ_ಥ༽ﾉ

“We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it.” ― Che Guevara

The scent of the sea made Sebastian sick now. The lingering saltiness on the air attaching to his skin like a leech, slowly sucking away any leftover warmth from it. And yet, a part of him recalled just how much Alice loved the sea. 

He couldn’t recall much more than little snippets of her now, desperately clutching onto their memories together and yet, with each attempt they grew harder to remember. Each day felt dark and Sebastian no longer knew how long it had been, but he had grown several feet taller and his body lost all of it’s baby fat, so he knew it had been awhile. But it seemed pretty pointless to care about time in a place like this. Time was no longer a friend. It was just something else to forget about and with so little space left in his head, Sebastian chose to keep it only for her. 

Sebastian often wondered if she thought about him and despite realising it was cruel of him to think such a thing, he hoped she did. At the beginning, he regretted hurting her. Feeling as if he had destroyed someone so pure and kind, but eventually, even his love for her, couldn’t hide the anger he felt. Perhaps, it was his mind playing tricks on him, contorting his memories of Alice, just enough to make him wonder if she had ever loved him. And so, his anger festered, lingering in his heart and ripping it to shreds as his eyes unfocused on the sun and moon slowly morphing together. 

The visions of her grew darker, as if he willed them to make him hate her. And for a time it seemed to work, the softness of her skin, the melody in her laughter, now quickly fading into the darkness as he locked them away. Sebastian had to hate her, for if he didn’t, he would surely suffocate. But, it seemed that Alice always returned to him when he let his guard down and when she did, Sebastian wished he had more tears to cry—for now, his eyes just stung painfully with the memories of her.  

The weight of everything swallowed him quickly and soon it felt like he was drowning. Sebastian clung desperately to what little he had left, before he finally let the darkness consume him completely and he laughed softly to himself as he dropped to the floor. But it seemed that Merlin himself wasn't quite finished with Sebastian, no instead rather cruelly, it appeared that he wished to keep a hold on him and there was no fight left in Sebastian to stop it. The touch came first, like a small electric shock, that lingered on the surface of his skin and then the dreams came. 

But they weren’t Sebastian’s dreams. No, it was as if he was only a spectator and eventually he realised that he could communicate with the dreamer. Overtime, Sebastian grew more curious, more daring and when he attempted to touch, to mark the dreamer, as if to test out his theories—Sebastian only grew excited, seeing the marks he had left, now vibrant and real. He fiddled with this new found power for a while, practising on prisoners, guards, figuring out what he could do and get away with. And yet, in the darkest moments of the evening, when the only light that slipped into his cell was the moon, Sebastian wondered just how far he could push himself.

He wanted to visit her dreams. To touch her, hold her and yet, he couldn’t reach her. Not yet. Perhaps he just needed more practice, more information and so he returned his focus to the guards and to figuring out how to use it to his advantage. Sebastian’s touch only grew more bold as he learnt how to manipulate the minds he invaded, starting off small, extra rations, more water. But, even that got boring quickly. So Sebastian spent hours, days, slowly penetrating the mind of a guard he hadn’t seen around long—a pretty thing, easy and soon she was in the palm of his hand. 

Sebastian had planned it perfectly, falsely placing visions of himself into the woman’s mind and in the end he had created a willing pawn for his escape. It was exhilarating and for the first time in years, Sebastian felt his confidence return, felt the darkness welcome him with open arms and he accepted it willingly. When the day came, he cared little for the soft kisses the woman provided him as she gave him a wand and provided him with clothing. She was risking everything and had no idea, her vision so clouded by the false reality he had shown her—that Sebastian knew she’d even take the responsibility for it all, if he asked. And he would. 

The escape hadn’t been easy and he had to kill again. But this time, it felt justified, at least to him, at least in that moment. For Sebastian only cared for one thing and that was getting back to her, back to Alice. He knew this meant that they would come after him and yet, he didn’t care as long as he could see her again. It had been awhile, Sebastian wondered if she would have moved on by now and he grew disgusted by the thought. The woman that helped him escape followed with eagerness, until he didn’t need her anymore and he simply casted her aside, removing the fog of his visions—purely to make her suffer with her choices and she did. 

It should have ended there. With Sebastian putting way too much faith in being able to research his new ability alone, desperately wishing someone had scribed something down about it. But, that would have been too easy. And so, Sebastian lingered in the shadows and kept his focus on figuring out exactly what he was capable of, only hoping it would eventually lead him to her. Word spread quickly of his escape, that even Sebastian was amused by the chorus of whispers and rumours that now spread about him. Eventually he got bored of it though, caring little for those that meant nothing to him but then he thought of Alice and he wondered if she had been told. 

Sebastian now had one last task, that he would see through. He would have her again. Alice was the piece of him that was missing and Sebastian was ready to watch the world burn, just to be with her. But, being a fugitive made things difficult and it appeared, she had been busy, Sebastian catching sight of her moving picture alongside Ominis—the bile rising quickly in his throat at their smiles. They had become Aurors, typical, simply desperate to feel helpful, even after everything. And yet, he couldn’t dismiss it completely, it did fit them. 

Tossing the paper to the ground and letting it soak up the soft mud, which had grown thick due to the rain, Sebastian pulled at his cloak’s hood and covered his face. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was her, was them. Sebastian was confident Alice hadn’t forgotten him, forgotten his touch and the way his lips felt against hers. So, he slipped back into the shadows and promised one thing: she would be his once more, no matter the cost. He was already a fugitive, a murderer and so there was nothing to lose, nothing he wouldn’t do to have her back in his arms. And the only way he would stop, or give up, was if they killed him. 

However, Sebastian didn’t realise it yet, but his determination and possessiveness meant he would eventually find himself agreeing to an unbreakable vow with the devil. 

But he was willing to do anything for love…right?

[mostly-marvel-musings]

Forget me not

Summary: Years after losing your husband, you are on a path of moving on with your life, however, you need help. And who better to give that encouraging push than Tony’s AI?

Warning: 18+ angst, bittersweet, some fluff.

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Square filled: Hologram

Word count: 600ish

A/N: I’M SORRY. Written for @avengersbingo

Avengers Bingo Masterlist

.

“What about this? Too much?”

Holding two statement necklaces in front of your reflection, you tilted your head sideways, silently hoping Tony would say neither.

“Diamonds, definitely diamonds. They always suit you better, hon.”

Sighing, you let out a soft groan and agreed with the choice, going over the bed where a selection of dresses lay like a scattered rainbow.

Even a small decision like this one seemed like the most difficult one these days. Partly because your heart wasn’t fully in it, or maybe you were just not ready.

“I can hear you thinking, Y/N. Go with the strappy red, it brings out your best features. Plus it’s my color.”

You could practically hear Tony’s smirk, you closed your eyes for a moment and smiled, normally he’d wrap his arms around you and pull you against his chest, nibble on the soft skin of your neck and let his stubble tease your skin.

“It’s not for you though, is it?”

You turned around with a sad smile, Tony—or rather his life-size hologram followed you up next to the mirror again, this time crossing his arms and leaning against it as he studied you with a fond smile on his handsome face.

It had been over two years since he passed in the events with Thanos, sacrificed his life to save the universe and brought all those turned to dust back. As heartbroken and devastated as you were, he had left you and Morgan a piece of himself; the bastard had thought through everything.

His quips and sarcastic comments followed you everywhere, helped your daughter sleep when she demanded a story specially narrated by her Dad, it was almost like he was still here.

Almost.

“Earth to Miss Y/L/N? Isn’t your date in like ten minutes?” He snapped his fingers bringing you back to reality, his hologram glitching just slightly at the sides. It stabbed through your heart that you weren’t Mrs. Stark anymore.

“Maybe I should cancel. I don’t think I’m ready, Tony. I don’t know if I will ever be.” You murmured, throwing the dress behind, suddenly the thought of putting in so much effort for another guy seemed overwhelming to you, and it wasn’t the first time.

“Stop flattering me, honey. What was the one promise you made me?”

“That I’ll never get over you? That I won’t ever stop loving you? That nobody will ever take your place?” You felt tears sting in your eyes as you finished speaking, wanting nothing more than for Tony to wrap you in his all-consuming hugs.

“That you will always choose to be happy.” He reminded you, walking over and pretending to catch a tear that escaped down your cheek. You saw him do it, but felt nothing. His big brown eyes that missed the spark that real Tony had, bore into you, waiting for an answer.

“I will choose to be happy.”

You nodded, giving him an almost convincing smile as you picked the red dress finally, going over your appearance one last time and blowing Tony a kiss who pretended to catch it with a chuckle. It was a small step towards that long journey that was ‘moving on’.

Damn it. You still did hate when he was right.

Tony Stark Taglist - @patheticallysentimental @raspberrymama @ladyeliot @boop-le-snoot @make-a-memory-drink-it-up @loveisallyouneed1125 @ownsmyheart @anthonyjanthony666 @downeyreads @the-secret-thief @getlostsquidward @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @elemephstudies @mycosmicparadise @feetoffthetablee @vibraniumwing @damntonystarkandhissmile @stronginawayjbb @mm2305 @underoostarks @ccbsrmsf1

Everything Taglist – @godofplumsandthunder @ladyacrasia @agustdowney @mcugeekposts @suchababie @another-stark-sub @supraveng @kahlanmars @pandaxnienke @tom-hlover @just-the-hiddles @fyreball66 @ladyburberry @chickensarentcheap @nataliewalker93 @alexxavicry

[tallangrycockatiel]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @sinni-ok-sessi!

How many works do you have on AO3? 12

What’s your total AO3 word count? 108,695, the vast majority of them being written in a single fic, last year

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All that is mine to me, all that is yours to you,

Not alone, maybe lonely,

A Nice Cup of Tea,

Off-Script,

and John's Turn.

All of those are for Malevolent except for A Nice Cup Of Tea, which is Rusty Quill Gaming and also the first fic I ever published on AO3, so I kind of love that it's still up there. Not Alone and John's Turn are Malevolent/Venom crossover, but I don't think they get much interest from people who are into the massive fandom and not the tiny one, there.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I mostly don't, because I never know what to say and don't want to end up just spamming "thanks!" to everyone? Feels like it would just come across as awkward and insincere. I'll respond if someone asks me something, or if someone comments on something specific that I had Thoughts and Feelings about.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Let every knee be bent and every tongue confess, by a country mile. Everything else finishes somewhere between bittersweet and straight-up happy. That one's tagged as "emotional hurt no comfort".

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? I too write quite a bit about learning to live when you don't really want to, and the all-around happiest ending has to be All that is mine to me, all that is yours to you. A lot of the others don't have endings so much as leaving-off points - which is intentional! - but I comfort-read the last chapter of ATIM semi-regularly.

Do you write crossovers? Yeah, Bodysharers Anonymous, the not-marked-finished Malevolent/Venom crossover series. I have two other ideas to add to this. Maybe I'll even write them someday.

Oh yeah there's also the extremely cracky Sailor Moon/Ouran High School Host Club crossover I wrote nearly a decade ago, maybe I'll dig that up and publish it some day for laughs.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I have had one person kinda sorta imply that they thought I was plagiarising, then walk it back.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yop. 99% of it is unbearably soft they're-in-love-your-honour kind of stuff, and the other 1% is, uh, tentacles.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? No - why would anyone do that, I write for teeny fandoms only.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, again with the teeny fandoms I guess.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No but I think that could be fun!

What’s your all-time favorite ship? My brain has been majority Arthur/John thoughts by volume for the last year or so; I can think of plenty of other characters that have consumed me this strongly in the past, but no other ships come to mind.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Only Fear Me Not is probably never going to get finished, but I don't have the heart to mark it as abandoned.

What are your writing strengths? Character voices, and I think I'm pretty good at tension and pacing as well.

What are your writing weaknesses? I will use the same verb ten times per paragraph if I am not physically stopped, and they will all be held together by several hundred semicolons.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I have done, for exactly one line in Choose Your Words where Albert Einstein swears in German, as part of a conversation about swearing in different languages. I'm not strong enough in any language other than English to do more than that, I think.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Sailor Moon, it's somewhere way back on my tumblr blog but you know how that goes. Again, might put it up on AO3 someday.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? My brain keeps sneakily suggesting that I write something for The Goblin Emperor series, because I do love a sad wet eldritch detective, but there is so much worldbuilding in those books and I'm scared. I also have wips for like five other fandoms that I might get around to one day.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? The more I think about this the more my answer changes, I love them all for different reasons, but All that is mine to me, all that is yours to you was The Achievement of my 2023 and I am so goddamn proud of it, and I hope I always will be.

tagging: @docholligay

[h0neyjaehyun]

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐎𝐧𝐞

-date- july 16th

Everyone knows Talia loves sweet things, candy, fruit like grapes, strawberries, mango, or ice cream and cake. She's especially obsessed with ice cream and cheesecake. The guys are always worried about how much she is consuming especially when she's feeling down. They have noticed different things when she eats either of them.

Ice cream she eats basically daily, or at least once a week. She seems happy when eating it, you can see how much comfort it brings to her whenever she eats it. It makes her feel more upbeat.

But when she eats cheesecakes, she has more of a serious feel to her. She is enjoying her treat but you can sense the bit of sadness whenever she takes a bite. Like a bittersweet smile. 

They always wondered what the reason for this is, they knew it wasn’t as simple as something she really likes to eat. Eating something over and over again must make someone sick. But it never does for her, it means something totally different than just eating it to enjoying it.

Haechan, running up to the roof with his anxiety running high. Expecting his noona to be there waiting for him at the table with a smile after they had their practice as she didn’t join due to schedule differences. But she wasn’t there like she said she would. She doesn’t lie about that, she never lies. If she did leave, she would at least tell him, message him, call him, right?

She wouldn’t leave just like that again......would she?

That was his one fear, her leaving without warning, not staying, going somewhere where he couldn’t reach. His mind ran wild with all those fears, that his nightmare came to life. 

He ran to her room which was clean and tidy but empty.

she’s not in here

He closed the door and stood there thinking where she could’ve gone. Of course, the sensible thing was to text her or call but he was too scared she wouldn’t answer. He thought of one place she would go to if she were to disappear. He ran out the door and took the stairs as the elevator wasn’t fast enough for him.

He slammed open the roof door open to see a silhouette sitting on the edge looking out at the view with a calm expression. He sighed in relief, his anxiety left as fast as it came. 

“Noona”

The girl turned back with a loving expression recognizing the concerned voice.

“Haechanie.” She called out to him sweetly, acting she didn’t give that boy a heart attack. He sighed and walked closer to her, admiring how the wind blew her hair out of her face perfectly. The city light illuminating her features giving her a golden glow. He looked at the things next to her. Noticing a half-eaten cheesecake and a melted ice cream. Which is unusual for her as she always finishes it. He frowned a little now taking a better look at her face as her eyes looked a little swollen and red.

“Have you been crying?” He asked softly, not like he really was asking he already knew the answer. He crouched down about to move some hair out the way to have a better look at her face. She turned quickly not wanting him to see her like that. His eyes went soft retracting his hand.

“Hey, it’s too late to hide now, I already saw.” he saw her cheeks puff and slowly turn her head towards him. He admired her face, he could tell why she wasn’t at the dining table, and why she didn’t text him where she was.

she didn’t want him to see her in this state

“What’s wrong noona?” he sat next to her moving a piece of hair out of her face. She bit her lip, she smiled bitterly.

"I'm....I'm in a little bit at a loss." She confessed reluctantly pursing her lips. He furrowed his eyebrows, concerned.

"Ha...usually cheesecake would help me think but I couldn't finish it. Then I wanted ice cream to make myself feel better but...it didn't, he couldn't this time." Her voice going quieter at the end, as if she was disappointed at something.

Haechan furrowed his eyebrows confused.... who's 'he'. Talia took a deep breath and looked at lights in front of her, contemplating if she should tell his story.

"Haechan, you remember me talking about a boy named Min-ki right?" She asked still looking out to the city. Haechan hesitated but hummed a yes. She smiled bitterly again and looked at him seeing he was already looking at her.

"I'm going to tell you a story about a boy I couldn't fully love." He looked at her eyes they were shining.... was he worth her tears?

"I met him in middle school, may not seem like much and too young but I truly loved him to the point where I would even choose him over my brother...." she chuckled feeling guilty knowing well that her brothers fear, insecurity was true. During their argument she didn't know he was scared of that until he yelled at her for it. She thought she hid it well. She never tried to lie; she'd rather avoid it as much as possible...but she couldn't bring herself to tell the truth to her brother knowing how much it would break him. Knowing he would stop everything that he was doing, quit his modeling job, break up with his girlfriend for her. She would quit her job, hell stop talking to NCT if she really needed, but she couldn't stop herself from not choosing Min-ki. If he were still here, she probably wouldn't even been an idol.

Haechan didn't know what to say, he didn't really think she would say that. He thought their sibling bond was unmatched, unbreakable. He thought she was taunting her brother back, but no, she really would pick that boy. The next thought was would she pick that boy over them, over NCT, over him. He felt bitter inside just thinking about it, wanting to be her number one. Even if it is a dream he had, he wanted to have some hope that he could be her first choice. Over her brother, over her family, over NCT, over Stray Kids, over her friend group, over that boy.

"He would be my first love, he helped me a lot through my abuse, let me stay at his house, help me with my injuries. He would try to make me happy by singing songs, writing love letters, making new tunes with his guitar. You know, he taught me how to play the guitar? He was so patient with me I found it sickeningly sweet." She laughed.

"But you know what's the worst part?" She said in a whisper, turning her head towards him still looking at her with sad eyes.

"He was never my boyfriend." Haechan rose his eyebrows in surprise. He did remember years ago when Lucas asked if Talia ever dated anyone. She said no yet he still didn't believe her.

"Did he ever ask you?" Haechan asked moving hair out of her face. She shook her head no.

"Not exactly, he confessed to me, but never asked me out...I found out the reason later on." She looked down a little trying to control her emotions.

"I- I said I wasn't ready, but we did couplie stuff....and my favorite thing he did was buy me ice cream randomly." She smiled stupidly like a girl in love. Haechan watched her smile, it was one he recognized when he saw a video on the camera he found while helping clean her old room. A smile she had on, only when she was with that boy.

"I didn't like ice cream that much, I actually didn't like cold things, but he would always have a stupid smile on his face when he got it for me, I couldn't help but like it then." Haechan was again dumbfounded by how far she would go to even make herself like ice cream because of him.

"Is that why you eat ice cream whenever your sad." He asked carefully. She nodded and started leaning on him her back getting tired.

"It usually makes me happy, but it never works this day." Haechan got confused, this day? He went to grab his phone and checked the day.

July 16th

"What...what so different about today to other days?" He hesitated on asking but he really wanted to know.

"He died today."

There was an eerie silence, he didn't know it was today. He recapped to every year on this day. He never really remembers her being weird this day which is scary to him. For years she stayed quiet morning his death by herself especially on during their tours and schedules. He knows how she gets sad whenever she misses one of their birthdays or Stray Kids birthdays as well, he could just imagine how sad she would be if she wasn't able to put flowers on his gravestone. He put his arms around her give her a tight hug.

She was startled by the sudden affection but loosed up accepting his hug.

"I'm okay Haechan-"

"NO!" She surprised by the sudden yell. She looked up to him to see him crying. She turned her body, facing him, she carefully wiped his tears looking at him worried. He looked at her bewildered.

"Why are you crying baby?" Haechan didn't know what to say, she was worried for him, comforting him. When it should be the other way around.

"No no no no no, you shouldn't be comforting me, this is supposed to be the other way around." He said trying to pry her hands away but no avail. She kept her stance looking at him with a serious face.

"Baby, don't cry for me. I'm okay, I haven't been grieving by myself. Every year when I can't go to his grave someone else does it for me. If I can, I go late at night with a bunch of friends. I'm not alone and I have you." Haechan was speechless, he was being comforted by the person he loves the most. In her hands, she's strong, has so much will power. Protected them from her mother so she wouldn't hurt them. When they were supposed to protect her, her mother, her abuser.

Haechan started crying more, not just because he felt guilty about her being alone, but that he couldn't protect her. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't. She was just too much out of his grasp. Even though she is laying on him, holding on to him. It felt like she was protecting him from the world than him protecting her from the world.

Talia kept quiet, knowing what he's thinking. But she thought it was better this way. Protecting someone than being protected. She'd rather get hurt than him, it would damage him more than her as she's been broken to the point where she can't be broken anymore.

Shattered pieces of glass of her reflection looking back at her.

Haechan calmed down by the soft scratches he was receiving. He cleared his throat now feeling better, and decided to continue, not wanted to leave yet.

"Do you have a reason for eating cheesecake so much then? As I figure ice cream is a symbol for him." Talia nodded her head laying on his shoulder still laying between his legs.

"It's....it's a representation for Han." Haechan stiffened, he was confused...when did Han come into the mix?

"I know what you're thinking, when did Han come into the mix, and yes it's Stray Kids Han." She sighed thinking on where to start with him.

"Han, I met Han in a bad time in my life, I lost Min-ki couple months before I met him. He was basically my rebound, but I never dated him. He was like a fire, he comforted me, he made feel loved and appreciated, but when things go the wrong way, he went out of control, his anger, jealousy taking over him like a forest fire, impossible to extinguish." Haechan can tell it was toxic by the way she described it. Even if she used flowery words, the words still had meaning.

"We were toxic to one another, of course there was the good moments and bad. But...I'm not sure if I regret it. I learned many things about myself and him, but we didn't have closure for a while until around late 2017 to 2018. We got our closure. For the most part at least." She laid her head back on his chest looking down at her pinky where there's a faded red line which she shared with him.

"There's things I miss and something I don't. But all things must come to an end at some point, good or bad." She sighed and showed off her hand in the moonlight, extending her pinky. Haechan squinted his eyes, bring his hand up caressing her skin noticing the red fated line slowly fading away. He realized that Han was more than just a fling, or a simple crush they had on each other or that Han was just being mean because he likes her, that trope. But they really loved each other, and with a simple tattoo can really show the whole story.

“You really loved them..”

“Yes, they saved me...but at the cost of my heart.”

[chanfictions]

Hi! <3

I read ‘until dawn’ a few weeks ago and I really liked it!

I’ve been thinking about what to request. I find that it’s harder to find fluff fics🤔 Can I request a fluff fic about reader and Kakashi on a first or second date?😊 Like how did they meet/agree to go out and how would they interact? (Could be a bookstore date perhaps, picnic/restaurant, dancing date…🤗)

Fluff can be kinda hard to come by. This was a fun one. Enjoy!

Fireworks

Kakashi x Reader

2.5k

It's barely even a real date… why am I so damn nervous?

Staring yourself in the mirror as you indecisively modeled one seemingly inadequate outfit after another, that question played on repeat in your head. Your fellow instructor and close friend, Iruka Umino, had casually orchestrated this little date after a discussion that revealed your curiously numerous overlapping interests with the village's own Copy Ninja.

That fateful conversation echoed in your mind as a shy heat flooded your cheeks. Of course, you were excited about this little date with Kakashi Hatake, who wouldn't be? He was undeniably handsome under that mask, surprisingly kind, and not to mention a fellow dog person. He checked all of your boxes, but you just didn't know if you checked any of his. Sometimes seeming a bit distant and unreadably aloof, Kakashi wasn't exactly one to loudly exclaim his alignments or feelings about other people, unlike one of his unabashedly boisterous students. Surely, though, he wouldn't have agreed to go on this date if he wasn't at least a little bit interested in you, right?

Shaking your head to dispel your doubts and fix your hair, you straightened your shirt with one last glance in the mirror before grabbing your purse from its resting place on a table near the entrance of your apartment.

"Be good," you paused at the door to crouch down to give your faithful pooch's massive, greying head a loving smooch and a playful scratch before handing him a biscuit. "No eating the couch while I'm gone. I'll be back in a few hours."

Mochi answered with a muffled, "Bwoof," around his treat with a happy wag of his tail before trotting off to hopefully munch on his snack and not your furniture.

"I mean it, mister," you called over your shoulder with a giggle, watching him waddle off to go chow his prize in another room before closing the door behind you.

As you walked into the gleaming rays of the setting sun that kissed the surrounding rooftops with a soft, amber glow, you smiled and inhaled deeply. The scents of fried food and sweet candies wafted toward your apartment from the direction of the festival, drawing in the residents of the village one by one, yourself included. It was an annual celebration that marked the founding of the village, bringing with it themed games, snacks, and fireworks for all those in attendance. In particular, the children and their unfettered excitement over comical puppet shows attended in enthusiastic droves.

You loved this yearly tradition and had since you were a child. The memories of family and fun it evoked were dear to your heart, despite the twinge of sadness they brought with them. Like so many shinobi in the village, your parents perished on a mission when you were younger, leaving you with only dog-eared photographs and the foggy snapshots of precious events preserved in your mind. Your annual celebration with the village was a silent homage to those you so missed.

Putting those bittersweet thoughts aside, you made your way through the thickening crowd, slowing to bask in the joy of the squealing little monsters around you as they blitzed between the legs of adults at a speed that could only be attained by consuming absurd amounts of sugar. You couldn't help but to giggle at their sheer, unbridled excitement that the next puppet show was about to start. Had you not been slated to meet up with your date in the next fifteen minutes, you probably would have joined them. Instead, you perched yourself on the bench designated as your meeting spot with the illusive Copy Ninja, twirling your fingers through the strap of your purse to steady your nerves as you waited. Despite knowing Kakashi's reputation for tardiness, your chest twisted into knots as the long hand of your watch slowly ticked its way across the number that marked the start of your date. As the minutes slowly crept by, that aching sensation tangled around your heart began morphing into a self-deprecating internal monologue.

Maybe he never really wanted to meet up with me in the first place, you sighed, digging the toe of your shoe into the soft, gravelly dirt. He's everyone's type. I'm just probably just not his. What was I thinking?

After what felt like an eternity passed, and the puppet show ended, you had all but resigned yourself to believing that you had been stood up. Chewing your cheek, you scanned the crowd one last time, looking for the bright tuft of silver hair that you knew you probably wouldn't find. You nearly fell off of your bench in surprise when you felt a light tap on your shoulder and suddenly felt the presence of someone standing beside you.

"Sorry, I'm late…"

The rest of his excuse buzzed into the background, as you were so distracted by the completely uncovered face smiling apologetically at you that your brain ejected the rest of the words that left his exposed lips. Sure, you had seen Kakashi without his mask on a few rare occasions, but never in this context. Never in such an effortlessly attractive, casual manner. You were left dumbstruck and needing a moment to swallow the out of control train of nonsense that was tangled up in your throat.

"No worries. I was so caught up in the puppet show, I didn't even realize what time it was," you finally managed to choke out with a nervous laugh. That was a lie. A terribly delivered one, at that, but you didn't want to make him feel bad about it.

"Can I make it up to you with some dinner? One of my favorite restaurants set up a stand just down the road," he said, both offering the words and his jutted out elbow for you to take to walk there, should you agree.

"Dinner sounds great." The tension wrapped around your chest dissipated with surprising ease as you smiled and took his arm. You made your way through the crowd together, making small talk about the lights and games, laughing as one of his students barreled through the throngs of people, completely oblivious that his sensei was arm in arm with a date amongst the other faces in the crowd.

The line for Kakashi's favorite restaurant was surprisingly short, leaving you with little time to idly chat before your orders were taken. Despite your protests, Kakashi insisted on paying for your meal, citing his tardiness as something that needed to be atoned for before steering the conversation back to an earlier topic.

"Like herding kittens," Kakashi mused, explaining what it was like to work with the graduated students of the academy as you each took your carryout boxes and found an unoccupied seat on the stony ledge of a fountain. "Drunk kittens, at that."

You nearly snorted, stifling a laugh as you covered your mouth to avoid losing the bite of food you had just taken. "And I thought working with the little ones was rough," you said with your mouth still half covered and a smile pulling at your lips. "Though I never had Naruto in my class. Iruka got him that year."

"He's a handful, but the kid has a good heart," Kakashi hummed, still seeming on the lookout for the aforementioned bucket of trouble.

"I have one of those at home," you said offhandedly. As soon as those ill-considered words left your lips, you realized you'd made a bit of an error.

Kakashi paused, blinking at you. "You have...?"

"No, no, not a kid, I meant my dog," you hid your face behind your hands as you shook with embarrassed laughter and continued to babble an explanation. "Mochi, he's a handful and eats my couch when I'm gone for too long."

"Oh, what kind of dog?" Kakashi seemed to have dismissed your earlier misstep and was now keenly curious.

"Some kind of mastiff mix, I think. His paws are the size of dinner plates and he eats half of my paycheck every month, but I wouldn't trade him for the world," you smiled genuinely.

As Kakashi listened to you fawn about your canine companion's shenanigans, he couldn't help but to feel a strange sensation slowly warming his soul. The way you talked about your dog reminded him of how he felt about his own hounds. It was a unique bond that not everyone understood, but you seemed to with ease, even without your dog being ninken like his. "Do you have any pictures?"

Heat washed over your head as you sheepishly pulled out a little photo album from your purse. "I have… many," you admitted with a laugh.

Kakashi leaned over to peer at the images as you paged through them, lightly touching shoulders with you as you told the stories that led up to each moment being captured. He couldn't help but notice how you grew quiet and quickly flipped past an old, faded scene of a cute little family, including a girl no older than nine or ten, all standing together at what looked like the very fountain at which you sat. It was a painful reminder that the shinobi world was cruel, and so many in the village lost loved ones thanks to the seemingly endless wars waged between lands.

"He looks like he could be Bull's brother." Kakashi's cool, easy tone pulled your attention back to the present as he casually produced his wallet, flipping past a picture of his team of genin to display a group photo of his hounds and pointing to the large facsimile of your own drool monster at the center of the shot.

"Ahh, look at his squishy face!" you gushed with a girlish squeal.

Kakashi's eyes crinkled into the smiling crescents you were so used to seeing as he tucked his wallet back into his pocket. A chilly breeze swirled about your bodies, reminding you both that the sun had set and that the long-awaited fireworks display would begin soon. "Looks like the big show is about to start."

"Want to watch from the roof?"

Kakashi hummed in thought as he scanned the surrounding buildings before pointing at a particular spot. "Right about… there should have a good view."

In typical shinobi fashion, the two of you vanished in a blink, leaping skyward and landing lightly upon the tiled roof of a nearby business. A teenage giddiness swelled in your chest as you settled down on the pitched surface beside your date, gazing up into the starry sky expectantly as you waited for the show to start. The crowd below buzzed in unison and heads began to turn as the first streak of sparkling light cut through the night with a shrill whistle. The thunderous boom that struck your body with bassy reverb still startled you, despite all of your training, leaving you laughing at yourself while the bright colors bloomed in the dark. "Gets me every time."

Kakashi chuckled softly, looking fondly at you for a moment before returning his sights to the splashes of light painting the skies. "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." While he found the chromatic display to be beautiful, he was more keenly focused on the warmth radiating from the person beside him that wrapped comfortably around his being despite the chill that lingered in the air. This was going better than he expected, even after his tardiness nearly ended the date before it began. Despite your nervous need to be early, you waited for him. And being with you was just so easy. Conversation was effortless. You seemed just as content to enjoy the moment without needing to fill the silence with chatter, though he did like listening to you talk. A quiet smile pulled at his lips, thinking about how you reacted to his drooliest hound's picture with the same amount of enthusiasm and love you exuded for your own pooch. Pakkun would surely have something to say about that.

As the loud display left a final series of bold, flashing colors cutting through the inky night, you exhaled happily, glancing over at Kakashi, who seemed almost lost in thought. "That was really spectacular." Your eyes sparkled as the last glittering embers slowly fell from the heavens and the crowd below erupted in cheers and clapping.

"I would have to agree," he replied in that smooth hum that just sent your heart aflutter. "I take it you need to get back home soon to rescue your couch from the jaws of Mochi?"

Glancing at your watch, you laughed quietly, rubbing the back of your neck. "Between the fireworks and me leaving looking different than he's used to, I'm afraid my couch is probably a lost cause."

Kakashi rose to his feet first and offered you a hand with that content expression still smoothed over his alarmingly handsome features. "I'd be happy to walk you home, if you'd like the company."

Taking his hand filled you with a schoolgirlish glow as you stood there together for a moment, faces illuminated by the moon and the sparkles of starlight hanging in the sky. It was nothing short of magical. Those warm, smiling eyes consumed you as you gazed past the long scar and mismatched irises into the guarded soul of the man before you. Your heart all but skipped a beat. "I would very much like the company."

Experiencing this kind of closeness to another person again left such a pleasant feeling wrapping Kakashi's heart that he just didn't want it to end. He was downright smitten, and judging by your behavior toward him, the feeling was mutual. You hopped down from the rooftop together, letting Kakashi offer more support in the landing than you actually needed, simply savoring the moment as he curled an arm around your back while you began the slow walk back to your apartment.

The comfortable chat quieted when you reached your door all too soon, making you wish time would just hold still long enough for you to soak in every last bit of Kakashi's pleasant company. Reality had other plans, however, as the sound of scratching paws and deep, investigative sniffing rattled your locked door. As you turned to your date, a soft smile played on your lips. "Thank you, Kakashi. I had such a great time tonight."

"So did I. It's been a few years since I really enjoyed going to one of these festivals." The warm expression you had been basking in all night was still perched on his face as he spoke to you. "Maybe next time we can take all of the hounds out somewhere together."

Next time… he wants...Your heart buzzed and fluttered, leaving you almost speechless. "I'd really like that. And so would Mochi," you added with a widening smile.

"Same time, next week?" He offered.

"That sounds perfect." You were nearly stunned when Kakashi leaned in and pressed a gentle, chaste kiss to your cheek, leaving the heat of a blooming crush in its wake.

"Until then, goodnight," he smiled softly, reluctantly releasing your hand.

Readying a bid of farewell to the notoriously late, seemingly aloof Copy Ninja who had just completely stolen your heart, you unlocked your apartment, pausing in the doorway to smile at him one last time before your wonderful evening came to an end. "Goodnight."

[music-of-dragons]

AGOT Dany IV

● The chapter opens with the Khalasar approaching Vaes Dothrak with Drogo, Dany, Jorah, and Viserys at the head of the column. Dany still cares about her brother enough to beg Drogo to allow him back at the head with them so that he's in a place of honor once again. By now he is known as "Khal Raggat" the cart king.

● Dany fears for her brother's safety in the Khalasar, every time he insults them in the common tongue she nervously glances at the Dothraki around them to make sure they do not understand. ~"They are my people now," Dany said. "You shouldn't call them savages, brother."~ To which Viserys replies that the dragon speaks as he likes.

○ This is yet another case of humility vs superiority in Dany and Viserys's characters and how differently they approach a new lifestyle and people. Dany assimilates, Viserys sticks out, and that makes him bitter. 

● ~"It is not right to make him wait." Dany did not know why she was defending her brother, yet she was.~

○Dany cuts Viserys SO much slack it's ridiculous. Even when not in his presence she's defending him. 

● ~"Yet Vaes Dothrak is large enough to house every man of every Khalasar, should all the Khals return to the Mother at once. The crones have prophesied that one day that will come to pass, and so Vaes Dothrak must be ready to embrace all its children."~ 

○ This prophecy was not mentioned for no reason, that day shall come to pass within the story. When the ghost grass (Others) closes in, the Stallion who Mounts the World (Azor Ahai) shall bring all the children (humanity) together to defeat the evil and survive. 

● ~Ser Jorah had explained that it was forbidden to carry a blade in Vaes Dothrak, or to shed a free man's blood. Even warring Khalasars put aside their feuds and shared meat and mead together when they were in sight of the Mother of Mountains.~

○ These lines explain just how important the laws of Vaes Dothrak are to the Dothraki. Khal Drogo himself was not exempt, and an outsider breaking the laws would be even worse. 

● ~"I will give my brother his gifts tonight… he should look a king in the sacred city…"~ Dany then tells Irri to purchase fruit and meat, no horse, so that she may sup with her brother. 

○ Dany desires a good relationship with Viserys, she recognizes him as her king and wants to make him feel more comfortable among the Dothraki by gifting him clothes meant for riding and fit for a Khal. 

○ GRRM uses pomegranate symbolism in Dany's story. The first moment being as Jhiqui is preparing the food for Dany and Viserys before he arrives. Pomegranates are one of the fruits specifically listed. In Greek Mythology, pomegranates were used to trap Persephone in the Underworld, and ever since this myth became widespread pomegranates have been used to symbolize a trap/negative outcomes in literature. What Dany is expecting to be a good night with her brother, will quickly sour. Big thank you to @rainhadaenerys for pointing this symbolism out in another meta, I would have never noticed it or started analyzing fruit symbolism in this story if I hadn't read it!

● All Dany wants out of her supper with Viserys is forgiveness for shaming him in the grass, she thinks to herself that he is her king and they are both blood of the dragon. Viserys comes raging into her tent since Doreah misspoke Dany's request as a command. She shows him the gifts that she had made for him and he asks her what all of it is. ~"New raiment. I had it made for you." Dany smiled shyly. He looked at her and sneered.~ 

○ She's so dang optimistic and gives him so many chances it hurts to read, poor Dany, but alas. Her hopes of forgiveness are about to be crushed.

● After he quips that Dany would want to braid his hair next and she tells him that he has no right to a braid, he is angry but does not immediately strike her. She is hurt by his insults against her gifts and the Dothraki. He grabs her arm roughly to dig his fingers in, and Dany feels like a scared child once more, until she grabs the medallion belt and strikes him across the face. She stands up for herself once again and tells Viserys that it is HE who forgets himself then sends him away with an empty threat. He says she will regret this day when he comes into his kingdom. 

○ Dany truly cares about her brother, but she is learning that no matter what, her attempts to build a better relationship with him will be ruined by his temper and sense of superiority. Her desire to have a positive relationship with her brother is not worth her suffering.

● ~Drops of blood had spattered the beautiful sandsilk cloak. Dany clutched the soft cloth to her cheek and sat cross legged on her sleeping mats.~ She tells her servants that they may have all the food she had prepared for her and Viserys. She has a dragon egg brought to her for comfort, the green and bronze. Dany thinks to herself that she feels stronger and braver when holding the eggs, as if she were drawing strength from the stone dragons locked inside.

○ THIS IS SO SAD 😞 Dany just wants a loving family and all she has is Viserys. No matter what she does he is consumed by anger and bitterness and takes it out on her since he feels like he owns her. I love that she gave her handmaids the food she had prepared, Dany loves to give gifts to people she cares about and I see this as her being generous and kind despite her situation. Dany is indeed drawing strength from the dragon eggs, just as the dragons are gaining strength from her as well. This is all apart of the subconscious magic Dany is taking part in to hatch them.

● Dany feels her child move within her, ~as if he were reaching out, brother to brother, blood to blood. "You are the dragon," Dany whispered to him, "the true dragon. I know it. I know it." And she smiled, and went to sleep dreaming of home." 

○ Rhaego reaching out to Rhaegal is so bittersweet. They would have been great together, but instead Rhaego's life will be exchanged for Rhaegal's in a tragic turn of events later on. 

○ This entire chapter shows a lot of Dany's characterization. She craves love and home and thinks that she can get that from her brother, but all she gets from him is pain and sadness. Time after time Dany is shown to love Viserys and respect him despite the weak, cruel man he is. She finally draws a line at physically harming her, especially since she is now pregnant and protective of her unborn child. Viserys realizes that she can no longer be controlled by fear or pain so he leaves her presence, telling her that she would regret this day when he came into his kingdom. At that point, Viserys had decided to go his own way and leave Dany out of it, and she is very obviously hurt by this. She finds comfort in her pregnancy and her dragon eggs. Dany also showcases her willingness to assimilate and learn to survive in this chapter. She has adapted to the Dothraki culture and continues to learn all she can about it. She embraces their livelihood as her own and considers it a gift that she tries to share with her brother. She wants him to be happy as she is, but that does not work. 

Thank y'all so much for reading, I really appreciate it 🥰 Art by Mark S. Miller, the ASOIAF graphic novel cover artist! Corrected from Tommy Patterson, should have researched better my bad.

[iwritefandomimagines]

ELEVENTH DOCTOR x READER: “Things change.”

prompt #17 -- requested

masterlist

pairing: eleventh doctor x reader

description: when the doctor gets his timings wrong again, he finds a heartbroken you in your living room, years after he last left you at home. 

warnings: mega angsty. oops !

words: 1,600

Initially, you believed that whenever you next heard the sound of the TARDIS landing, you’d be ecstatic.

You’d expected to go running into the Doctor’s arms, swept away on some adventure or another that you’d remember forever. You pictured yourself content and excited and happy.

But that was then, and time had passed.

The last time the Doctor had dropped you off had been three years ago now. The man you loved had dropped you off to take Amy and Rory away somewhere ‘just for them’ for a day... But three years had gone by with no sign of them returning.

You’d spent at least the first six months locked away in your room, wallowing and crying in fear that he didn’t want to see you again.

But now that so much time had passed, you’d become too furious with the Doctor to want to see him again either. How could he just leave you here, forgetting about you entirely?

He’d told you he loved you -- had that truly meant nothing?

You were currently curled up on your sofa, a pot of ice cream in your hands and surrounded by a bundle of blankets. Your hair was unkempt, your loungewear the same you’d been wearing for a good few days now. Truth be told, you were in a mess.

Despite your infuriation, you’d never quite managed to fall out of love with the Doctor. That madman in the police box who’d whisked you away to places you’d never even imagined. He’d been your world, your safe place, and yet he’d been your breaking point too that moment he left you.

Right now you were reeling from yet another unsuccessful attempt at moving on. Another unsuccessful blind date, another failure to feel anything but apathy for any man who wasn’t the Doctor. Your Doctor. Why couldn’t you just move on?

And so when the TARDIS engine sounded, materialising right in front of you in your very living room, the fury coursing through your every vein was almost unbearable. Tugging your blankets tighter around your frame, you pretended to be unaware of the giant blue box blocking your view of another romantic comedy that only fuelled your sadness.

“Y/N!”

The sound of his voice sent chills rippling through your body, but you didn’t dare look up. It would be real then, you’d have to face the fact that he’d left you but all of a sudden was back.

“Oh Y/N! What’s the matter sweetheart?” he ambled towards you, pushing the blanket fortress you’d assembled out of his way. His head cocked to the side confusedly -- you’d changed. A lot. Had he gotten his timing wrong again?

The word sweetheart made butterflies flit in your stomach, but it was bittersweet to hear it again from his lips, and so all you could bring yourself to do was scoff.

His fingers reached up for a strand of your hair -- you’d dyed it in a feeble attempt to stop recognising yourself the way you did when you were with him -- twirling it around his finger as he tried desperately to make you meet his gaze.

“How long has it been?” his voice was barely above a whisper as he knew your answer couldn’t be good.

“Three years.”

Your words dripped with venom, your eyes harsh and your face set in a scowl as you finally made eye contact with him.

The Doctor felt his world shatter around him at that, the very fact that he’d let you down -- the most important person in his life and he’d let you down.

“Oh darling I’m so sorry,” he cooed, cupping your face in his palms and lowering his head to be closer to yours, “I promise that wasn’t ever my intention. It’s been a day... well, a week... but it was only because things got a bit hectic. I came straight back as soon as I could. You didn’t think I’d abandon you?”

You drew in a sharp breath, struggling to fathom the words to tell him just how you felt. Honestly, a small part of you was still ridiculously happy to see him again, especially knowing he’d never intended to leave you for so long. But he had, he had been gone so long, and you weren’t sure you could forgive that.

“Three years,” you repeated, as though trying to come to terms with it all over again yourself, “Three years without you, Doctor.”

He pulled you to his chest, almost knocking your ice cream from your hands as he did so with such urgency. He kissed the top of your head, your stomach doing flips as you felt so close to him again. But you were still fuming, and you couldn’t let it go.

“I’d never have left you alone for so long, Y/N. You know I’d never do that, surely.” he frowned.

“I thought I did,” you mumbled, before clearing your throat to speak more confidently. “I thought I knew. But it’s been three years, Doctor. Things change. I’ve changed. I’m not the naive girl you left in this room, struggling while you fawned over Rory and Amy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Even after you told me you loved me, Rory and Amy always seemed to come first. I feared being second -- well third -- best and then you unintentionally made that clear anyway.”

“Y/N, I love you, you know that,” he soothed, hands caressing your hair as he held you close, “I’ve thought about you every minute I’ve been gone.”

You shook your head, “That’s the problem, Doctor. So have I.”

There was silence for a moment, both of you too consumed with sadness to say anything. He couldn’t stand the notion of quite how badly he’d hurt you, and you couldn’t stand that though you were still angry and upset, you were relieved to be in his arms again, held by the man you adored.

“I-- three years,” he uttered, more to himself, still shocked, “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I know I’ll never be able to make up that time, but I want to try. I’ll never leave you behind again, darling. I can’t live without you.”

“I’ve had to learn to live without you, Doctor. I spent so long believing that it had been an accident but even now that I know that’s true it hurts. I love you, I’ll never be able to stop loving you, but I’m just-- this is so difficult.” you fought back tears.

The Doctor pressed a soft kiss to your temple, “I’ll never let anything like this happen again, Y/N. I promise. I’ll never let you out of my sight I’l--” 

You shook your head, pulling back a little to stare deeply into his eyes, mesmerised as always by their emerald twinkle, “I’ve tried so hard to forget you Doctor. And I never could. But I-- It’s made me realise that people spend their entire lives at your side and it’ll always mean more to us than it does to you.”

“That’s not true, Y/N. Not one person who I have travelled with has ever been unimportant to me, I’ve cared about every single one of them, always.” his voice was stern now, and you could tell you had hit a nerve, “And it’s different with you, Y/N. Everything is different with you. In hundreds of years I’ve never cared about anyone like I care about you. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.”

You gulped, “But that’s the point -- you’ve had hundreds of years to try, to explore and to find someone. I only get one short silly little human lifetime, Doctor. It terrifies me that I know I’ll never love anyone like I love you, you’re the love of my life. But I’ll be like a... like a blip in your timeline when I’m gone.”

“Never,” He clutched your balled fists, pulling them to his lips and kissing the backs of them gently, “Everyone has a lasting impression on me, everyone matters. But you... Y/N, you’re absolutely everything to me. You say I’m the love of your life like that doesn’t matter to me. You’re the love of my life, darling. Surely you understand that.”

His words weighed heavy on your shoulders as you tried to digest them, even heavier as you tried to understand them.

“The love of your life?”

“Of course. The love of my life.”

“Oh.”

He laughed, capturing your face in his palms and pulling you towards him to kiss you. His lips were soft and warm, just as you remembered them, and you couldn’t help but melt immediately into the kiss as you felt all of your anger dissipate.

That was the thing, no matter how much he’d unintentionally hurt you, everything felt okay with the Doctor. No matter what, the Doctor’s very presence had always been enough for you. You were just grateful to have him back.

“I love you, Doctor. Please don’t leave me behind again.” your voice cracked.

“Never, Y/N,” he kissed the corner of your lips again gently, “I love you too, more than you’ll ever know.”

You suddenly felt conscious of your current outfit, your loungewear and messy hair glaringly embarrassing to you despite the fact that the Doctor wasn’t remotely phased by it.

“I-- uh,” you began nervously, “I would say where shall we go but, well I look like this...” the Doctor furrowed his brows as you blushed, before rolling his eyes as you continued, “But I just want to spend time with you anyway. Movie night? Like old times?”

“Absolutely, sweetheart. Absolutely.”

-------

eeee i hope you enjoyed this! sorry if it wasn’t amazing, i lost track partway through and tried my hardest to finish it... let me know what you thought. now that i’m back, requests are back open and my (updated) prompt list is here if you’d like ideas. also, my masterlist is here if you’d like to take a look!

thanks for reading <3

[jimlingss]

Sugar and Coffee [Finale]

Chapter 22 - Chapter 23 [Finale]

➜ Words: 5.1k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

cr.

Baking is an art form. It takes more than just having ingredients and following a recipe. It’s the flavour, texture, taste, and the presentation. It’s knowing why when things go wrong and how to fix it. It’s knowing the right kinds of ingredients to pick, how much of each should be combined, what techniques and methods to use. Baking is therapy. Baking is scientific. It is art.   The ingredients are as follows: 

Fresh strawberries

White chocolate sponge cake

Sugar

Butter

Eggs

You place the fresh strawberries into the refrigerator as the stand mixer whips the six large egg whites and two cups of sugar. When it's combined, you place a bowl over a double boiler on the stove and whisk until the mixture is hot. You put it on your stand mixer again until the white chocolate swiss meringue buttercream is stiff. The cubed butter and white chocolate is added shortly after until it's smooth.   Once you’ve got your components prepared, you slice the cooled white chocolate cake into two layers and set the bottom layer on a cake board on the turning cake table. You spread the meringue buttercream evenly with an offset spatula and layer the strawberries.    Afterwards, you put the other chocolate sponge cakes over it and repeat the process.   You finish the white chocolate strawberry swirl cake with white chocolate strawberries on top for decorative purposes and pipe flowers with a twelve inch piping bag.   “It looks fucking incredible.”   Jungkook leans over the counter, peering at the frosted cake you’ve just made.   “It was supposed to be white chocolate raspberry swirl, but I know you like strawberries, so….”   The boy grins, a wide smile that makes his big nose scrunch. “I love it.”   You burst out into giggles. “You haven’t even taken a bite yet!”   Jungkook begins slicing the cake. You’re proud of what you’ve made — but it’s kind of sad at the same time. This is the final product of your portfolio before it's ready for submission. You’re glad it’s over, but it also means your journey here is ending.   It’s November now. And it’s been one whole year since your relationship with Jungkook shifted.    A year ago — when the internship posting went up and you found out he was going to be your partner over the summer. When you were made his exam partner in your fine pastries class. When that Friday night happened and you bursted out crying in the kitchen, and he comforted you to no avail despite it being a cold night where the air bit his skin and turned his cheeks rosy. Where he bought you grape soda for no reason whatsoever other than a poor attempt at trying to make things better.   It seems like it was so long ago, but it’s only been three hundred and sixty days.   It makes you wonder what will happen a year from now or two or ten.   “Not too sweet?”   You watch your boyfriend’s expression carefully. Jeon Jungkook has his brows deeply furrowed with a thoughtful expression like he’s trying to give honest output. His fork is cleaned empty and it lowers to grab another bite.    “It’s perfect.” He melts into a smile. “Maybe you made my sugar tolerance go up.”   “Maybe because I improved.” You loll your head to the side, challenging him. “It’s almost as good as your chocolate-covered strawberry cupcakes, huh?”   Jungkook scoffs lightly. “I wouldn’t go that far, babe, but we can all dream.”   You sulk. “I’ll find out that recipe one day, Jeon. You mark my words and when I do, I’ll profit off of it.”   He laughs, the sound tickling and boyish, causing another smile to rise onto your features. Jungkook digs in, having yet another bite and he lets his teeth rot with the sweetness.    It’s not long before he remembers something, strides away with a hum and returns with a cold tray. “What is it?” you ask curiously as he sets it down and removes the saran wrap.   “It’s truffles. I made it in my art of chocolate class, but it’s an original recipe. Give it a try.”   He pushes the tray towards you and you don’t hesitate to grab a chocolate truffle. You would never, on any planet, deny the opportunity of consuming chocolate, especially when it’s made by Jeon Jungkook. You’ve never said it out loud before, but for some reason he always makes the best.   No grocery brand or chocolatier can beat what he often bakes for you.   So you try not to devour the truffle all in one bite, opting to relish and savour it. You take half of the truffle into your mouth and chew with the same consideration he had for you. And you’re surprised as the deep flavour melts on your palate. “Coffee?”    Your brows furrow and you lick your lips. “Did you put black coffee into it?”   “I was inspired by a memory,” Jungkook says with a soft smile. “What do you think?”   “I love it,” you exhale in awe, finishing the bite and licking your fingers.    It tastes kind of bitter, but it has a sweet note at the end.    It’s bittersweet. But mostly ends up sweet.

Life with Jungkook continues. Lectures and workshops become more hectic the closer the end comes, but in between classes and late nights spent in the kitchens next to ovens, you and Jungkook still find plenty of time with one another. Or at least enough that you still have your dumb debates and have your hour of snuggling — which Jungkook regularly falls asleep during.   The honeymoon phase of your relationship eventually fades away, but luckily it molds into a comfortable pattern that neither of you mind whatsoever. There are still knowing gazes shared across busy rooms, his hand that often comes on your lower back that you find security in, tender kisses shared when the two of you greet each other and bid temporary farewells.    You still love Jungkook very much and you don’t ever find yourself afraid of him leaving you abruptly.    Your relationship becomes normal too, so Yoongi and Taehyung has little to tease you both about. They instead relish in bullying Jimin when he ends up going out with a coworker of his at his new part-time job, much to the shorter man’s dismay.   Hoseok, on the other hand, while no longer in a relationship, finds an interest in teaching and starts to look into what it would take to become an instructor. You’re happy for him and so is Aeri who tells you she’s considering going abroad someday to expand her culinary skills and cook more international cuisine. She keeps herself preoccupied by improving herself and becomes someone worthy of your admiration.   But for the most part, things remain consistent and constant. There’s still bickering over lunchtimes and dinner times across the cafeteria table. Still nights of crashing Yoongi and Hoseok’s apartment and playing games. The five of you also start playing Dungeons and Dragons much to Taehyung’s delight who becomes the dungeon master — and while Yoongi always says he wants to stab himself halfway through every session, you’re sure he enjoys it as much as everyone else does.   The memories made are ones you cherish the most.   And before you know it, graduation has come.   “You look beautiful, dear,” Jungkook’s mom holds back tears as she grasps your hands tightly. “Congratulations.”   “Thank you.”   “Come on, you two!” His dad suddenly calls, holding an old camera up to his chin. “Let’s take some photos to remember the occasion!”   One hand holds your rolled certificate and the other holds your navy gown, you stand in front of the school sign with Jungkook who adjusts his black cap. He drapes his arm over your shoulder and the both of you tilt your heads towards each other and give the biggest grins.   The camera flashes. Again and again.   The corner of your mouth starts moving as your smile twitches. “How many is he taking?”   “Just smile,” Jungkook mutters through his grin as both his parents, his aunt and uncle, Lia and Eunbi, and grandma look on proudly. “He’ll do more if you try to argue.”   “Two more!” His dad shouts, despite taking another five.   His entire family seems so elated that your heart swells with endearment.   “I didn’t know your family would be so happy when you told them we were dating,” you murmur, switching your poses a bit. “You know, your grandma just asked me when we’re getting married.”   “Really?” He glances at you and then scoffs with another smile that’s more genuine. “Be lucky she has half a mind not to start asking when we’re having kids. Unless…...”   “I swear to god, Jungkook, if you get down on your knee in the middle of our graduation with everyone watching, I’m going to kick you in your shin.”   He giggles, nose scrunched, eyes crinkled.    It’s not long before Jungkook’s mother drags over Jimin overbearingly by the hand with Taehyung, Hoseok, and Yoongi for a group photo. There’re so many parents, family members, and phones and cameras being passed around that your plastered smile starts to break on your face. Everyone’s mother and their goddamn cousin’s cousin wants three copies of the same exact picture.   “Oh my god, kill me now,” Yoongi groans but still has that dumb fucking grin on his face. He looks more like a kid showing off his braces or a grandpa who has his dentures stuck.   You think he’s putting on that idiotic grin just to ruin the pictures — even his mom is yelling about it on the sidelines.   “Just a few more,” Jimin whispers with more perseverance than anyone else has.   “Who is even taking our picture, right now?” Hoseok asks, his brows furrowing. “Does anyone even know who that lady is?”   “I think she’s the associate dean’s assistant who’s going to put it on the website.” Taehyung breathes out, his cheeks aching from his smile. “Either that or that’s my cousin’s brother-in-law’s younger sister’s friend.”   “Alright, that’s enough.” Yoongi gives up and walks out of the frame. Everyone starts dispersing before there are protests and they’re rounded up for another pointless photo session.    But after a while, you’re granted some freedom to roam around with Jungkook. There’s still a few more photos taken, ones with Aeri and classmates and teachers, like Miss. Kang, who you always liked.    “I always knew the two of you could be close.” The female teacher has the cheesiest smile and you have to admit, you’re glad she never changed Jungkook’s internship like he wanted. In a way she’s like your matchmaker, but you’ll never say it out loud in case you give her more credit than it’s due. She already seems to know it anyway. “Good luck on your future journeys. You both have great potential.”   Namjoon and Sejeong also show up to congratulate the pair of you as well. And they meet Jungkook’s family who seems to adore the couple straight away, asking plenty of questions of what their shop is like and if their son was in any way helpful.   But while you’d like to stick around to hear all the conversations, it’s nice to take a break from the bustle to just walk on the paths that you used to take all the time with Jungkook.   You don’t know what it’s going to be like when you leave this place.   “Aren’t you kind of sad?” Your hand squeezes Jungkook’s and you turn to look at him.   “Yeah,” he admits. “But I’m also happy we don’t have to submit projects or do exams anymore. I’ll miss the routine. Of being able to hang out with the guys and eat with them all the time. But they’ll still be around and I have you.”   Jungkook’s gaze meets yours. His eyes are tender, soft.   You smile at him. That’s right — this chapter might be ending, but you’ll still have many more with him.   “Y/N!” There’s a call of your name and you turn to see your family waving at a distance. Your mom holds a flower bouquet, most likely for you and your cheeks swell with a smile.   Your arm extended in the air to wave back and your steps quicken with Jungkook’s to meet them.

A lot happens after graduation.   There are many changes and alterations. While you’ll still always be learning until the end of time, you’re no longer an official student and you’re thrown to the hounds called the real world.   But it’s not all that bad.   You get hired back at Kim’s Wedding Cake Company and work with Soohyun who’s returned from maternity leave. Yuna also sometimes joins during the weekends and much to your delight, she tells you that she’s enrolled in the institution as she had wanted. You can only imagine what kind of knowledge she’ll gain and stories she’ll end up having there like you did. But there’s not a lot of time to reminisce when there’s work and a ton to learn, but you find yourself enjoying it more than finding it difficult.   Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t return to the company. He instead gets hired at a chocolatier shop not far from where you work. It’s only a ten minute walk down the block; five for each of you when you meet halfway like you frequently do for lunch.   He tells you that he’s learning a lot, on what it takes in the artistry of chocolate, that there’s more meticulousness than what meets the eye. It sounds like an absolute nightmare to you, but he loves it — especially on the days when he smells sweet and there’s some chocolate smeared on his cheeks. And you don’t hate that he often brings you home truffles and caramels to try.   The two of you also move in with each other, sharing an old apartment not far from your workplaces. It’s not much different from how you used to live on campus at different dorms, except now there are bills to be paid and Jungkook steals all the hot water in the shower.   You wonder if this is what it feels like to be an adult.   “Y/N?”   There’s a familiar voice, but one you haven’t heard in ages. A smooth timbre that sounds light and humorous at the corners. You whirl around, regarding the tall man with dark hair, dressed in a dark turtleneck and a black trench coat. His sheepish eyes crinkle in his smile, lips pink and plush.   “Jin?” A grin spreads into your face as well. “Oh my god! How are you? It’s been so long! What are you doing here?”   “I live here, remember,” he reminds in the midst of squeaky giggles. “And I’m good. I’m actually on my way to a meeting. I’m working in management of Toute Pastries and Pâtisseries.”   “Wow, working in commercial bakeries? That’s impressive.”    But you’re not exactly surprised. You knew Seokjin always had it in him and you feel proud that someone you used to know has become so great.   Seokjin laughs. “Not really. It’s kind of less hands-off than I’d like, but what about you?”   “I’m good too. Just heading to my friend’s bakery.” You hitch a thumb over your shoulder. “Today’s the opening. Do you want to come?”   “I’d love to, but the meeting starts in twenty. I saw the sign the other day though. The bakery is that place that was being renovated on Imlingss Avenue, right?”   “Yeah. It’s next to the department store.”   “I’ll swing by when I have some time then.”   “When you have some time?” You eye him playfully and cross your arms. It might be inappropriate to be so sarcastic with an acquaintance, but being with Jungkook has made you more snarky than is probably socially acceptable. “So you’re a hot shot, now, aren’t you?”   Luckily, Jin doesn’t take offence and simply laughs. “I swear I’m not!”   It’s good to see him. You thought you never would again, at least not face-to-face like this. But what you least expected was that your conversations could be so light and natural. It isn’t difficult at all and you don’t find yourself uncomfortable nor holding any resentments. You aren’t sad or angry.   It’s like seeing an old friend again.   “I heard you were with Jungkook,” Jin says with the corner of his mouth quirked. “That’s a surprise.”   “Isn’t it?” Whenever Jungkook used to come up in a conversation, all you ever said to Seokjin was how trash he was. But that was before you really knew anything about him. “But he’s great. An idiot sometimes. But it’s great.”   Jin can see the happiness radiating off your face and it’s infectious. “I’m happy for you, Y/N.”   He says it sincerely, genuinely, and your smile widens. “Thanks.”   The both of you share a little more small talk before you’re on your way. And once farewells are said and done, you don’t look back or peek over your shoulder for another glance at him.    You’re content continuing straight forward.   “Sorry, I’m late.” The door chimes as it slowly shuts after you, the warm furnace heating the air and melting off the coldness of your skin.    “Of course you’d be late.” Yoongi is in his black apron, white shirt rolled up to his elbows and his arms crossed. “We already took the photos, don’t expect that we’ll re-take them.”   “A joy as always, Yoongi.” You smile at him, taking off your jacket and putting it on the coat rack at the corner. Jimin comes to greet you and you sigh softly. “Why’d you ever agree to open a bakery with him, Chim? You must be a saint to deal with his shit all the time.”   “I heard that.”   Jimin laughs. “Trust me, he kept on asking Jungkook when you would come. He’s all bark but no bite,” he whispers but it’s loud enough that Yoongi looks sorely unimpressed.   The shop is cute and spacious. It’s rather modern with square tables and chairs lining the walls. The lights come from the sides of the fancy ceiling, and there’s a counter to check out at with a main glass case where people can choose pastries from. In the corner, there’s also several smaller pastry display cases where patrons can grab trays, tongs and fill up their own plates.    You quickly greet everybody and then move to grab your one prized possession.    “Lemon meringue pie?” Taehyung laughs, watching you put two on your plate.   “You know I just have to.” You smile and sit at one of the tables, luckily having it on the house. Taehyung sits across from you. “Man, you’re so nice to let Yoongi have the entire recipe since it’s yours too.”   He shrugs. “It wasn’t like I had any plans with it in the first place, plus it was Yoongi’s idea to add the secret ingredient.”   “Which is?”   Taehyung grins his infamous boxy smile. “Nice try.”   “I’ll find out one of these days,” you warn. Taehyung handed you the recipe a long time ago but he conveniently omitted the secret ingredient and you haven’t forgiven him since. “And then I’ll be making it for myself every other night instead of giving my pretty penny over to Yoongi and Jimin.”   “Yeah, good luck with that.” He leans back in the comfortable chair. “I’m sure Yoongi will be protecting that from you for the rest of his life. He might be willing to exchange information though if he can get his hands on Jungkook’s chocolate-covered strawberries.”   Taehyung wiggles his brows, but you shake your head with a sigh. “He won’t tell me. I swear he’s holding it above my head so I can never ditch him.”   The man laughs and takes a look around the new shop.   Everyone is here — Hoseok, Jimin, Yoongi, Jungkook, Taehyung, Aeri and you — the entire crew with no one else missing. There are other people as well, sponsors and Yoongi and Jimin’s other acquaintances, but you muse how hard it is these days to gather up like you used to.   Everybody was busy and on their own paths. Doing their own thing. But it’s what made moments like these more precious.   “I would’ve joined them, should’ve,” Taehyung says wistfully with a sigh. “The original plan was actually Jimin, Yoongi, and I.”   “Yeah, but you wouldn’t have been happy.” You take another bite of the pie, chewing in your cheek.   “Yeah, that’s true.”   “Do you regret it? Going back to school?”   “No.” Taehyung smiles gently. “I love learning and I knew after graduation, I wanted to keep learning. I’m not as good at cooking as I am at baking, but it’s still fun and I think I’m getting better. The only issue is Yuna.” The man visibly and dramatically shivers and it elicits laughter from you.   “Does she bother you a lot?”   “Less like bothering and more like she literally pops up wherever I go,” he tells. “Sometimes I’m just minding my own business and then boom, out of nowhere, I turn the corner and she’s there. I’m starting to think she’s like a ghost or like….like…”   “—a witch,” Jungkook finishes and then leans down to plop a kiss at the top of your head. “Hey.”   “Hey.” You smile and he leans down to steal a bite of your pie, but you don’t mind much. “You’ll never guess who I saw earlier.” Curiosity gleams in Jungkook’s eye and you grin, wanting to put him suspense for a little longer. “I’ll tell you about it later, but is everyone grabbing dinner afterwards? I haven’t checked the messages yet.”   “Yeah, we are.”   Soon, Hoseok comes over and introduces his lady-friend that he brought with him as Naul. But you know through advice he’s sought through you a few weeks back that he’s been seeing her and taking it slow.    It’s nice to finally meet someone you’ve heard about, and you find that her calm and collected personality fits into Hoseok’s quite well.   You also meet Jimin’s girlfriend who is sweet and an avid talker about all things deli meats.    At your surprise of how ham supposedly doesn’t taste as good as some other cold cuts, she insists that you and Jungkook need to have a double date with her and Jimin so she can enlighten you on the world of salamis — to which you agree needs to happen. She’s peculiar, but sweet and cute when she’s with Jimin.   “So you’re really going?” you ask after Aeri confirms it. She had told you a month ago that she applied to study abroad and you couldn’t be anything but happy. Especially now that she’s just told you that she’s been accepted, you have nothing but eagerness for her.   “Yeah, I’m a bit nervous, but I’m super excited.”   You pull the girl into a tight embrace. “I’ll miss you, but have fun and stay safe. Stay in touch.”   “Thanks and I will, Y/N.” She giggles against you and pulls apart. “I hear Amsterdam is really nice and my aunt keeps advertising it, so I’m looking forward to it.”   “Apparently, those Dutch men are really something,” you murmur and she laughs. “You know, if I wasn’t in a happily committed relationship and with my dream job, I’d probably ask if I could come with you cause damn, they’re like a tall glass of water. You need to take advantage of that.”   “Who’s a tall glass of water?” Jungkook approaches with a sorely unimpressed expression.   It makes you go tight-lipped and Aeri giggles, slinking away before she’s caught in the crossfire.   While you and Jungkook playfully bicker in the middle of the store and he grabs you in a chokehold and you tickle him — much to the shock of the other patrons who don’t know you — Yoongi looks on behind the counter with a displeased expression.   Except that’s only his natural resting bitch face and not what he thinks internally.   Or at least that’s what Jimin realizes when Yoongi says to him privately— “They’re a pretty good match, huh? Jungkook and Y/N.”   “Yeah.” Jimin smiles, watching the two of you act like children. “They are.”   It’s sad when the opening event eventually ends. The night comes and dinner is soon over too. Everyone ultimately says their farewells, waving before they go off on their own way and you linger just a moment until everyone’s gone. It’s nostalgic to be around them, reminding you of days that seemed simpler and easier, and when you were unaware of these facts.   It’s sad to say goodbye since you don’t know when you’ll see all of them again. At one place. At one time. But at least you have Jungkook with you, so you’re far from being alone.   “Don’t worry,” Jungkook jokes around, “They’ll be back for our wedding.”   “When is that going to happen?” you scoff, looking at him and how his features are illuminated under the lampposts that you pass. You squeeze his hand in yours.    “It’s a surprise,” he answers slyly.   You grin. “And what if I reject you?”   “Then I’ll be a very sad man.”   “And if we don’t work out at all?”   “Then we’ll still be best friends,” Jungkook says and interlaces his fingers with yours. “I’ll always be here for you. Because I’m lame and I think I’ll always be head over heels for you.” He smiles wide, bunny teeth revealed and features soft. “It’s a promise.”   And one you believe in.   Luckily, you and Jungkook never split.   You end up getting married two years later with Aeri as your maid of honour and Taehyung as the best man — the brunette giving you so much anxiety with his spontaneousness that you nearly wish it was Jimin who was the best man instead. But everything ends up without too many hitches or difficulties.   It’s hectic lives that you and Jungkook lead, but ones you love.   Ultimately, the pair of you get a townhouse together halfway between the suburbs and the city. You wind up running Kim’s Wedding Cake Company with Yuna many years down the line after Namjoon and Sejeong step down to retire. And Jungkook achieves his dream of becoming a chocolatier and ends up getting silver in The World Chocolate Masters competition.    The two of you have your first child together one drunken night when you both think it’s a good idea to have sex in your sacred spot — a professional kitchen. It’s the first and last time, swearing you’ll never do it again when you’re both on your hands and knees afterwards, sanitizing the entire area for fear of losing your jobs for the violation of health codes.    But you end up conceiving that night and it’s the first of many kids — rascals with sweet-tooths.   Life with Jungkook is a mundanity you could’ve only dreamed of. And you often count your blessings that you somehow ended with such a cheeky, lovable boy.

[Epilogue]   “And that’s how I met your grandmother.”   There’s a plump toddler sitting on his knee, slobbering as he babbles, and a slightly older girl sitting cross-legged in front of him on the carpet. She’s no more than five years old and blinks up at the old man with matching doe eyes.   “So a stupid man dumped grandma and then you came in and saved her?” she asks in a high-pitched voice.   “Essentially.” The old man nods and takes off his rounded spectacles to place on the small table beside his plush armchair. It’s his special seat for story time, placed under the picture frames of you and Jungkook over the decades, from your graduation to your wedding. “We were friends first and then started to date afterwards, but yes, it’s right to say I did save her.”   “Like a superhero?”   He grins and confirms, “Like a superhero. Now, do you know what the moral of the story is?”   His granddaughter shakes her head. “No. What is it?”   “The way to a person’s heart is through the stomach,” he declares with a smile. “If they like chocolate, you make sure you’re good at making chocolate. You like chocolate, right?”   “I like grandma’s cakes!” she exclaims much to his amusement.   “What nonsense are you telling her?” You’re leaning on the doorframe leading to the kitchen, sighing lightly as you shake your head with your arms crossed.   Your hair is slowly turning gray, but you’re still as attractive — if not even more so. Jungkook always mused how much more beautiful you got the more you learnt and experienced. And he likes the wrinkles around your eyes, even when you don’t. It reminds him of how many times he’s made you laugh over the years.   “Grandma!” Your granddaughter jumps up with a big grin that’s reminiscent of a bunny. She has big doe eyes that seem to sparkle in the afternoon light shedding into the cozy home. “Grandpa was just telling me how you guys met. He said he saved you. Is that true?”   “I saved him, dear.” You pat her head gently. “Without me, your grandpa would be hopeless.”   The older man at his armchair chuckles. “That is true.”   “It’s time for lunch, you three.”   You hold up your grandson and your granddaughter skips towards the kitchen.   Jungkook staggers upwards from his seat with weaker knees and muscles that feel exhausted to the bone. He’s still in rather good shape though for just turning sixty three two months ago. Even when you constantly worry about him, he can still play catch with the kids in the backyard and put them on his back without hurting it much.   When he comes into the kitchen, the two kids are in their seats and busy already digging in. His mug that says ‘Jungkook — World’s Best Chocolatier’ sits at the corner of the fruit place mat you bought at the thrift store. The letters of the mug are worn around the edges, handle chipped at the bottom, but it’s still his favourite.   But Jungkook doesn’t sit down to eat just yet.    He rounds the table and comes to the sink where you’re humming away. He leans his arms on the edge of the counter, standing right behind you and leans in as you turn your head.   Jungkook kisses your cheek. “I love you.”   You smile, the same one he fell in love with all those decades ago when you both were still young students who knew nothing about what was to come. “I love you too.”    Much to Jungkook’s contentment, you lean into him, filling his senses with your scent as you press a soft kiss to his lips. And it’s not bitter whatsoever.   It’s sweet.

[adamfoolcry]

of coffees and holidays (d.sc)

pairings: Ballerina!Sicheng x CafeOwner!FemReader

rating: 13+

warnings: swearing

genre: angst and fluff

synopsis: Your and Sicheng's love story in five coffees with varying degrees of sweetness spanning five Christmases.

word count: 3k+

a/n: for @127-mile, I hope I did justice for your prompt. Hope you enjoy reading it. Happy Holidays! 🎅 Thank you to @neoculturechristmas for organizing such fun event. It can be read in chronological order if y'all wanted to. I promise it's a happy ending. Not proofread so please excuse the mistakes, I am so dumb. Please reach out to me if you would like to do so. - xo aria

Christmas 2019 - Espresso

Outside as flakes of snow fell from the sky, like a light shower of glitter from the heavens, the elusive holiday spirit seemingly present in the air; you watched a young couple huddled together to share warmth, fingers intertwined, cheeks glowing red partnered with coy smiles on their faces, and a family of three in admiration of their son as he showed off his Christmas gift. The streetlights emitting an orange glow providing an aura of softness, making everything come together to form a picturesque scene.

Heartwarming as these scenes were, they failed to evoke any emotion out of you; if anything you feel excluded from it entirely. To you the world behind the cafe's glass windows is just a film you're screening in the cinemas, and you were nothing but a mere spectator. You continue to stare listlessly at the throngs of people passing by until they all mesh into a blur of colors your eyes couldn't catch fast enough. That's better.

Inside the cafe although decorated with trinkets for the holidays there was an air of sadness permeating every corner and seated itself onto the furnishings. Lately it seems like sadness is following you around everywhere - like a shadow - and instead of trailing behind you it looms over you shrouding your every thought until it completely consumes you.

No one stepped foot inside the cafe and with no one to entertain your mind drifts to him. Sicheng.

How many days has it been? Since you last saw him. You've lost count, a lie you tell yourself to make the dull ache in your chest bearable. 

It's a torture how you could recall that day - the day you lost him - so vividly as if you are forced to relive it every time the silence eats away at your resolve; to tuck the moment into the deep recesses of your mind, where it can't hurt you. When every little thing reminds you of him, his favorite spot at the cafe, black turtlenecks and that undeleted grainy picture of his sitting in your gallery. 

You could never forget the look on his face, resignation etched into every crevice of his features, a forlorn smile on his lips. 

"I see," he said in a bittersweet tone before he turned his back at you. 

The slam of the door is the nail that hits the coffin. Sicheng is gone. He has already walked out of your life. That was the last you saw of him for he never visited the cafe again.

A month passed by when Sicheng called you. Your heart leaped as his name flashed on your screen and your thumb shakily pressed the answer button; afterwards lifting it near your ear.

There was no greeting as he uttered in his low voice that you have missed so much, "My flight to Russia is this Saturday." 

Your heart sank.

"I want you to see me off, ______." 

Don't go please stay with me but there are certain thoughts that weren't meant to be put into words so instead, "I'll be there." You reassured him.

But you never showed up at the airport that Saturday. Instead, you were at the cafe staring at the screen of your phone blinking on and off as a wave of notifications with his name flooded your phone. Why make things harder? As if him leaving wasn't hard enough. You pressed the power button long enough to shut down your phone.

The following days passed away into months that's a haze in your mind. You can't recall anything worth remembering. You quickly filled up your schedule with mundane tasks just to have something to do filling every gap of your vacant time. 

At night you fell straight to bed, your body collapsing from the physical strain you have subjected it with. Establishing a packed routine without idle time so you don't have time to linger on the dull ache in your chest - always there like a festering wound. This works until you find your list of chores unexpectedly accomplished earlier than you planned, the cafe shrouded in still quietness. 

Alone with nothing else to do the dull ache amplified to a crippling one and it bites you right back in your face, forcing you to acknowledge the hollow feeling that seems to reside in your chest permanently. Your eyes would be heavier, your vision blurry, trying to blink away the tears but ultimately failing as it trails down your cheeks; you clutch at your chest because it hurts and you regret that the last you'll see of Sicheng is that face of hurt he wore.

Christmas 2016 - Vanilla Latte

You placed the cup of vanilla latte sitting on a saucer on the table daintily, pushing the saucer across the wooden table towards the customer, avoiding to make any noise. The customer seemed so engrossed with the novel he is reading - nose almost touching the pages - that you don't want to disturb him. 

The said customer is a regular, there was not a month that he hasn't visited the cafe. Showing up five minutes after you flip the signage to open, with no fail not even a minute late. 

Wearing all black from head to toe, a tall lithe figure, and an androgynous facial structure, your guess is that he works as a model. Even now without trying he is captivating; he makes the cafe look like a set for a magazine spread just by lounging in the matching cherry wood table and chair, and you can't help but stand there and shamelessly stare at him. god really has his favorites.

His work must require him to travel to different countries and have photoshoots in scenic spots, oh how you wish you could also jetset to other countries. Packed schedule for the day that he doesn't have time to think about what he is going to do next. That is a luxury you don't have especially in the ber months for there is a decline in customers and with no one to entertain, your mind goes on an overdrive pondering on uncharted waters of how you have nothing else going for you but run this cafe.

Aside from his penchant to wear all black, read a novel while drinking his choice of beverage - choice of beverage you ask? - you see the other peculiar thing about this man is that he doesn't have a 'regular drink'. Most if not all people who go to a cafe know what they are going to order before they have set foot inside. This man doesn't, his eyes would flit on the menu, scanning from left to right and back again. It is almost ritual like, this would go on for a good minute or two as you drum your fingers on the counter waiting for his order. 

The snow is falling outside covering the otherwise grey pavement white, decorations for the festivities hung around the four corners of your quaint cafe. Yet here he is, nursing a cup of coffee instead of being somewhere else. Doesn't he have a family? to celebrate Christmas with?

"Can I help you?" The man said, turning his face slightly in your direction not quite yet abandoning the book in his hand.

"Ohh uhmm-" you were jolted out of your trance, startled you took a sidestep only to collide with the chair where a large unzipped duffel bag was placed. The contents of the bag spilled over. 

"Shit! I am sorry." You quickly knelt to the ground to pick up the scattered items on the floor, the man joined you. Charger, earphones, epsom salt, bandage, and tiger balm ointment as you picked up the items you also increasingly grew baffled. What a weird assortment of things. You reached for the item that somehow managed to get under the table and as your fingers came in contact with the rough material of the cloth you learned that your assumption of his job was wrong. A man's canvas ballet shoes.

I thought he was a model.

"What?" The man questioned. You wince to yourself you just didn't say that out loud. You emerge from under the table to find that the man was looking at you too intently for your liking. His eyes sought out yours waiting for an explanation and as if you owe him one you started explaining yourself. 

"Well, you are tall and extremely handsome so .." Cringing as the words flew out of your mouth. The man chuckled at your confession, a tell tale sign of a smile on the corner of his lips.

"I am flattered really but as you can deduct by now I actually do ballet." He rose to his feet and offered you his hand to help you stand up. 

Unlike other days where he will leave the cafe after an hour or two, this time he stayed and unlike other days where you find yourself alone in the cafe; you find yourself enjoying the company of this mysterious man. 

Where you quickly learned that all your presumptions about him have little truth in it. You learned that his name is Sicheng, and he is a principal dancer for the Korean National Ballet company not a model although with his looks he might as well be one. Yes, he travels but mostly for tours and performances. He practices an average of eight hours a day. 

Your fascination for his life spurred the conversation as if you were friends catching up with each other. With the book set aside and the contents of the cup long empty you two didn't notice how much time had passed. He bid you goodbye with a promise to visit you again tomorrow. As you watch his retreating figure getting smaller, the snow piling on top of each other over the glass windows of the cafe there was a smile on your lips - the warmth of a newfound friendship is akin to a good cup of coffee - making you warm from the inside out.

Christmas 2017 - Cappuccino

"Surprise me," Sicheng said leaning on his hip at the counter, arms crossed on his chest, when you asked him what he would like to drink. Standing there he looked like the culmination of your dreams.

Maybe it's the iridescent lights from the numerous christmas lights that flickered on his face making him look more exquisite or the grin he gave you after. You did surprise him but not in the way he was expecting and to be honest you are also shocked by your sudden brazenness as you lean in to kiss his plush lips. The kiss didn't last long, a little more than a peck but long enough for you to regret it.

"I .. I am sorry," you stammered burying your heating up face in your hands, embarrassed. You didn't even see Sicheng's reaction, was he appalled? You peeked through your fingers to find out, when Sicheng started laughing, tipping his head back a little, eyes crinkled in mirth, his right hand covering the half of his handsome face. 

You want nothing more than to shrivel up in one corner. He started tugging at your wrists, pulling your hands away from your burning face.

"Mind giving me more of that surprise?" The corner of his lips curved upwards, nose slightly crinkled, and you wished to etch his face to memory.

Christmas 2018 - Americano

He was late, you glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, it is now 11 P.M. and soon Christmas will be over. 

The americano you have prepared already cold, his untouched while yours halfway finished. It's fine though because you know that this will be the first of the many Christmases you have to spend without Sicheng. You must get used to spending it alone again. 

Musing to yourself your mind quickly took a trip down the memory lane of his last visit to the cafe before he got on tour with the company for one of the holiday stage productions. 

--------

You have only heard the thud of the door as it closed on its hinges. You are currently cleaning the countertop back bowed and eyebrows furrowed in concentration as you meticulously scrubbed at the stubborn grease that won’t budge, lifting your head to do the customary greeting, when something or rather someone barreled straight to where you are, engulfing you in a tight hug that shoved you headfirst into that someone’s chest your nose burrowed deeply into the black cloth. 

Recognizing the intoxicating scent of light musk and citrus, relief flooded you as you hugged Sicheng back. You don't know how long the two of you stayed in that position basking yourself with his warmth just a little longer.

He's real, he's here a safe and solid presence by your side. You can count by one hand the things that have endured with you throughout the years, other than the cafe which you have run since your mother got sick, dropping out of college to keep it going. And one of those is Sicheng you've found in him stability and comfort your past partners can't give you.

Sicheng pulled away putting some distance between the two of you, his arms naturally falling at his sides. He was wearing one of his brightest smiles, the apple of his cheeks high and pronounced on his face.

"_______, I've been offered the position of principal dancer at Bolshoi Ballet in Russia," He can't help but smile again clearly enthusiastic with the prospect of joining one of the most prestigious ballet companies.

It took you a moment to answer settling with an unconvincing, "Wow." You don't know how to react with his news, but you feel dread in the pit of your stomach. You don't like the idea of him leaving. You try not to let it show in your face.

"I know. I was also surprised." As if sensing the change in your demeanor he asked concerned, "Is something wrong, ______?" 

"Nothing let me whip you a drink I found from the net," you brushed him off with a wave of your hand. 

----------

"Hey _______, I am sorry there was some minor traffic that held us back," Sicheng announced his entrance that broke your reverie. Setting his duffel bag on the floor to sit on the opposite chair facing you.

His hair tousled, cheeks rosy and nose red but despite his healthy complexion you can also see the pronounced bags under his eyes with a tinge of violet. He looks tired and in dire need of rest. Yet he headed straight to the cafe instead of his apartment. 

"Sicheng I've wanted to tell you something," perching your arms on the table to fiddle with the ear of the cup.

"Yeah?" Sicheng asked, staring right at you.

"I think," you cast your eyes down on the table, and with a small voice continued, "we should break up." 

"You think?" 

"I mean we should"

"Why?"

"I ... it's just that it will be easier for you." Your hands started gesticulating in the air.

"Don't give me that bull shit. You are not the judge of that," Sicheng replied in a cold manner.

"It's just you have this life before me and you'll also have a life after me." Your voice cracked, and you gathered your strength to look at him. "I am grateful that you have been a part of my life. You are crazy talented and right now the world opens up in front you and you deserve better. I can't give you that I ..-," clutching at your chest, "I am just me."

"It's nice to know that you think of me as some temporary phase in your life and here I am fool enough to think that maybe you'll want to come with me to Russia," a cruel laugh slipped from his lips, "christ, I can't even choose what coffee I'll be having and finally for once in my life I've never been so sure of anything," voice trailing, "but us.

"So I'll still ask because I know I will regret it, if I don't. Do you want to come with me?" Sicheng pierced you with his eyes, wearing his heart out on a sleeve. Leaving himself unguarded and hoping you'll come through.

But you have never been brave. "I'll stay and you go."

"I see," he said in a bittersweet tone before he turned his back at you. 

Christmas 2020 - White Chocolate Mocha

"I told you Renjun you don't have to do your shift at Christmas." You look up to reprimand Renjun, and instead are met with familiar feline eyes that seem to see right through you. There stood Sicheng looking like an intricate piece of art displayed in the museums. It is more painful to look at him than anybody warned it would be. It hurts how familiar you are with him still dressed in black - turtleneck and slacks, his trusty duffel bag hanging on one shoulder, he's still the same but now you are nothing more than a past fling to him.

"Hey," Sicheng walked towards the counter greeting you.

"Hey," you shake your head from the trance that took over you, "Oh I'll make you something."

"I'll have a white chocolate mocha." Slightly surprised by his request it took you a second to start preparing it.

"When did you come back?" You inquired as you moved about to prepare his drink.

"Yesterday night" 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have fetched me?" He asked nonchalantly.

You momentarily stiffen evading to answer the question you throw another at him, "How are you? Is Russia treating you well?"

"Can we cut the crap out? As much as I love dancing, I don't like dancing around in circles. I've come back for one reason only." 

"Will you come with me to London?"

Looking at Sicheng standing there - after how much you have hurt him - you thought you will never see him again and you have long accepted that punishment. You are not brave and you will never be but

"Yes, I'd love to go with you."

what you have with him is worth it.

a/n: Read more of my works for NCT here:masterlist

[oikirstein]

𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 | 𝐡.𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐢

PAIRING: iwaizumi x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: All good things must come to an end right? You thought you and Iwaizumi were an exception to the rule, but it turns out you two weren’t anything to begin with.

CONTAINS: Angst

WORD COUNT: 1,517

Shouldn't Couldn't Wouldn’t (Acoustic Version) —NIKI

It was about three in the morning when you heard a knock on your door. Groggy and barely able to ignore the prickling of your heavy eyelids, you throw your warm comforter to your side, exposing your post-encapsulated skin to the harsh cold of your dorm room. Normally, you would’ve tiptoed to the entrance in an effort to not wake your roommate up, but it was winter vacation and she was out of town visiting family. Flat footed steps lead you to the door before you looked through the peep-hole and caught a glimpse of who disrupted your slumber.

With a hot and heavy sigh involuntarily escaping your lips, you slowly unlock the door and open it a crack.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my wonderful classmate during this fine morning?” you sarcastically smile.

“Hey, Y/N,” he sheepishly waves while looking at his feet.

“Oh shut up and get in,” you say as you step to the side and open your door all the way, locking it behind you after Iwaizumi enters the room.

He sits on the bed opposite to yours, which was previously wrinkle free in your roommate’s absence.

“That time of year again, huh?”

It was an unspoken tradition the two of you had during this special time called the holiday season. After all, Iwa didn’t really have anyone to visit since he was just a pebble in a foreign stream, and you—you didn't have much of a family to go back to.

“Isn’t it kind of sad?” you mimicked his action and took a seat on your, in comparison to the other, rather unkempt bed. Your shoulders slumped as you lay your weight on your hands—ankles crossed as your toes barely grazed the ground.

He chuckled somberly as he lifted his gaze from the floor to search for your eyes.

“Yeah.”

The context between your agreement remained tacit but mutually understood. 

“Look at us now. We’re all grown up,” you too, raise your vision to meet his brown eyes which held a certain softness that only you were allowed to see, “Soon we’re going to have to spend Christmas all by ourselves.”

The realization that washed over you was evident from the embarrassing flush of your cheeks. Your impending graduation was right on the horizon. 

“Well, at least I will,” the words tasted bittersweet as they left your mouth.

You were content with your relationship. You were content with the casualness between your interactions. You were content without the labels, without the commitment, without the complications of a real relationship. At the very least, you were satisfied. You were happy to have had the pleasure of being by Iwa’s side for the past four years, romantic or not.

“Nah,” he shrugged, “As long as I’m alive, you’ll never be alone.”

The sentiment he spoke was sweet. Honey dripped from his lips in the ignorance of his words and what they did to you. You wanted nothing more than to hold the weight of his words heavily in your heart, but your head prevented you from doing so. 

You had these next few months to savor before you two went your separate ways. Of course you always knew it would end like this, after all, to Iwa, college was merely a pitstop in the race of life. He had bigger and better things waiting for him back in Japan. You couldn't hold him here forever. 

“You shouldn't say that type of stuff, Hajime,” you lightheartedly joked.

“Why not? Are you not falling for my charm?” he winked, reciprocating your energy right back.

“I think we both know I fell for you charm a long time ago.”

Silence was static in the air as you two stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.

“If that’s true,” the bed creaked as he lifted himself off it, taking broad steps towards your side of the room, crossing the border you weren’t aware you drew, “then why can’t you be with me?”

You playfully punched his arm, “I’m here with you right now aren’t I?”

“Y/N,” he said more serious, “come with me. Let’s go to Japan together.”

There it was. Your heart stopped in your chest and your limbs went stiff as he said the words you were and weren’t hoping he’d say. Elbows locked and shoulders raised, you stared at the empty bed on the other side of the room—the divot from his weight still barely present.

“If you keep talking like that, someone might think I’m your girlfriend or something,” you tried to laugh to ease the tension, but your voice came out strained and shaky instead.

Your heart ached at the situation. You wish you were selfish enough to throw yourself into his arms and hop on the next flight, but—but something was holding you back.

“What’s so bad about that?” he gently placed his index finger under your chin and guided your face to look at his own.

You softly bit your lip and felt your lower lash line get heavier.

“Hajime, baby,” you placed both your hands on his chiseled cheeks, “you know I can’t,” your last words were barely a whisper.

He held your wrists in his rough palms and brought them down to his lap.

“Y/N, what am I to you?” his own voice wavering with every syllable.

“Y-you’re my friend—”

“No I’m not. We both know I’m more than ‘just a friend’,” he cut you off, “You love me, don't you?”

“I do,” you looked away because you know that if you stared into his pleading eyes any longer, you’d break.

“Then why can’t you be with me? What’s holding you back?” 

“I don’t know! I don’t know what we are! I don’t know what it is, but I can’t go to Japan with you.”

“If that’s the issue then I won’t go back—”

“No!” this time you cut him off, “I’m not letting you throw away your future for me.”

“There will always be another job, Y/N, but there will never be another you,” the desperation in his voice grew evident as the time went by. 

“If you do this, as much as I love you and as much as I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” your voice cracked and you felt the tears dripping down your face every time you blinked, “I will never forgive myself,” you looked back up at him and gave him the ghost of a smile, “Can’t you understand that?”

“But it’s my choice!”

“But it’s my fault.”

“Please,” he sighed, “I need you in my life.”

“That’s what friends are for,” you rubbed his shoulder with your right hand, but he shrugged off the gesture.

He chuckled lowly, “You love to torture me, don’t you?”

You shook your head, “No.”

“We could never be ‘just friends’,” he gave your hands a tender squeeze, “I wouldn’t be able to bear it—having you within my reach, but never having you,” the strength of his grip lessened, leaving your skin longing for his touch.

He was right. It was like holding bread in front of a beggar and consuming it whole when he’s a mere few inches away. It’s devastating.

“Please, Haji, please don’t go,” you reached for his fingers, his hands, anything, but he stood up before you could grab hold of him, which resulted in you falling into the mattress.

“You say that like it’s easy, and then you come up short in every way,” he sounded almost disappointed.

You jumped to your feet and wrapped your arms around his neck, sobbing into his ear.

“Why is it so hard for us to love each other?”

“I don’t know, baby,” he rubbed circles on your back in an attempt to soothe you—because that’s just the type of person Iwaizumi was.

“I love you,” your breath was hot against his skin, your words having a sense of urgency laced with every letter.

“I know,” he placed his large hands on your waist, “that’s why it hurts so bad.”

He too had tears in his eyes.

“Maybe we're meant to be in another lifetime,” he gently pushed you off him, your arms falling limp to your sides as his sentence resonated in your ears, “just not this one.”

Iwaizumi took a step forward and rest his warm hands upon your cold shoulders. He looked into your eyes—apologetic. His lips landed on your forehead, and you wished to every star in the sky that this specific moment would never end. His thumbs grazed your skin back and forth when he pulled away and without another word, walked out of the door.

As soon as you heard the click of the lock, your knees gave out and you found yourself collapsed on the floor, hyperventilating and choking on your tears. Maybe if you had tried a little more, loved a little harder, took a little less, you could be happy. Your mistake was that you hoped to keep your relationship undefined to avoid complications—when that very concept was inevitably the root of all your issues.

© all content [unless stated otherwise] belongs to gellysticks 2021. do not modify or repost.

reblogs are greatly appreciated :)

[sleepy-salami]

Lan Sizhui and/or Lan Jingyi for the ask meme? :)

Thanks for the ask! I’ll go with Lan Sizhui, since I have more coherent thoughts about him.

How I feel about this character: Precious baby. My son. The light of my life. Absolutely perfect. Best boy ever. Single-handedly makes me want to have kids. I want him to be happy every day for the rest of his life. HOWEVER I also like my fictional characters complicated and multidimensional. And I think that Sizhui was deliberately written as such a perfect kid for the main couple that we can only headcanon the flaws he might (and should, realistically) have. And no, "lied a few times" and "got into a fight once" are not flaws, he's a teenager. At least we know he can be stubborn. "I'm going to hang out with my emotional support corpse uncle on every night-hunt, and I'm going to plan it in advance and invite my friends, and there's nothing you can do about it." Good for him.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Speaking of emotional support corpse uncle - yeah, Wen Ning, to absolutely no one’s surprise. The story of the Wen remnants breaks my heart every time I think about it. And the last two remaining members of that family finding and recognizing each other again, despite the odds, is... so bittersweet and full of hope. And there’s something poetic about Sizhui finding his missing past in Wen Ning, and Wen Ning, in turn, finding his future purpose. Though I also don’t like it when the exploration of their relationship focuses entirely on the sad childhood memories. I think they’ll get along amazingly well in general, they have quite similar personalities, soft and kind (and maybe occasionally gremlins).

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I don’t really ship the juniors, but ZhuiLing is adorable.

My unpopular opinion about this character: It’s not really that unpopular, more of a pet peeve, but... Lan Sizhui is a Wen. Wei Wuxian didn’t actually give birth to him. He’s a Wen. There are a lot of amazing fics out there that explore Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji as parents in the canon timeline and AUs, their combined influence on Sizhui, his personality and heritage, and my heart rejoices every time his Wen family is acknowledged, and my eye twitches every time it doesn’t. It’s so petty. I’m petty. He’s a Wen. He had a mother and a father who looked just like him, and an old granny who loved him so much that she recognized him even in death, and uncles, and aunts, and other relatives who loved him and raised him, and then they all died, and if I want them to be acknowledged in every piece of media I consume for free in this fandom, then... it’s my problem, I guess, but still.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Continuing my rant about his Wen heritage - I want him to be able to make it at least somewhat public. I’m not talking about leaving the Lan clan (though if he wants to - good for him), but it’s a big secret to keep, after all. The other juniors will learn eventually, I guess. Jiang Cheng, too, and the look on his face is going to be priceless.

[thequeenb]

"Goodbye Poppy" Angst Pleaseee! Thank you

you asked for it anon

Poppy x MC

Never in a million years i would thought that i would actually have to leave my dream University but here i am packing my bags because reality hits harder than untouchable dreams. Zoe couldn't handle the sight of me packing, she is in her room crying, i mean who wouldn't? We have been through so much together

I can still hear her stupid laugh, i can still see her sarcastic smile, the hideous yet amused look she gave me when i lost, her words still ringing through my ears

"Have fun back in pig town Hughes" everyone laughed, everyone clapped except a few, within the large crowd i could spot some sad faces knowing well i have to leave

What's the point? This year has been hell, i was so focused on winning a stupid crown instead of expanding my academic knowledges and in the end all i am left with is nothing

I suddenly feel the walls consuming me, the T shirt i was folding is long forgotten as i grip tight at it. Flashbacks of each semester come crushing down like a thunderstorm on my mind. The Kick-off day, the halftime show, the frat parties, the endless nights i spent with Zoe and of course all these wasted hours i sat alone thinking about Poppy.

Tears form in my eyes and i try to blink them away. I have a lot of things to pack because my father will come pick me up soon. Gathering all my strength i finish packing and i decide to go for a walk and get some steam off of my body

The night air hits my face as i wrap my arms around my body protectively. What the fuck am i even doing? Its just a stupid university, except its not. I have so many memories here. I walk past the Zeta building and a shiver runs through my body

In my surprise i see Poppy sitting alone on a bench nearby and i turn around wanting to run for my life but i freeze when i hear her shaky voice call for me

"H-Hughes?" I sigh as i turn around walking towards her

"What do you want Poppy? rub your victory on my face? Its all over the T everyone knows no need to put on a show"

"I read on The T that you are leaving" she says returning back to her usual bitchy tone

"Yes i am going back to pig town, i hope your one braincell is satisfied" i scoff folding my arms as i feel my cheeks go red from anger

"Gosh you are annoying stop talking" she now buries her face in her hands. Wow wont your expensive make up get ruined Miss Min-Rich?

"I don't understand your frustration, you got what you wanted since day one and here you are being a bitch about it. If you honestly think i will feel bad--"

"Agh shut up! You don't understand!" Her tone now changed, but she looks at me in the eyes and i can see them shine under the moonlight

"Are you crying?" Without hesitation i approach closer tilting her chin up so she can meet my eyes, she doesn't pull away as i run my fingers across her face, yes she is crying

Poppy Min-Sinclair. The person who wanted to destroy me since she first laid eyes on me, the same person who wanted to murder me too many times during this year. Am i dreaming?

"Oh wow at least you have some humanity left in you" she pulls away from my grip and i sigh sitting next to her. I am so tired, i was packing for hours, confronting Zoe, reading all the hideous comments people left under T's update

"Something got in my eyes dont get so--"

Oh hell no. She made your life a living hell and you will sit here confronting her when she should be the one doing so? I dont think so Bea

"Ha! Do you think i actually care? I am leaving damnit! This was my dream University, a way to change my whole life and now what? I have to leave because of you!" These words come out of my mouth without realising and now i stand up running looking at the sky hopelessly

"Dont raise your vo--" she tries to speak but i cut her off again

"You don't get to talk. You tortured me, you made everyone turn their back on me and you have the audacity to cry?"

I pace in circles as i feel my anger flow through my veins. This is it, this is my reaching point. One more second and i will explode, Tic tac tic tac..

"You weren't crying when you were trying to humiliate me Infront of the whole university" i now pause sitting next to her. Her bittersweet perfume is filling my lungs and for a moment all i can do is stare at her messy hair and her weak posture. Maybe it doesn't sounds like something big but seeing Poppy like this? It kind of worries me

"When you were telling me how worthless i am, how i need to go back to my town, how i dont belong here..you never ever cried" i throw my hands in the air frustrated

"So why now huh? Or are these happy tears? If yes then Excuse me for interrupting your stupid celebration"

Taking a deep breath i can sense how tense she is just by looking at her body and hearing her shaky breaths, maybe she is the one on the verge of a meltdown

"I like you..i really do Hughes" she doesn't dare to look at me in the eyes, instead she stare at the night sky and time seems to stop

She likes me? Since when? All i can remember is all the awful situations she has put me through and BOOM, I can't handle my pain anymore. I stand up again looking at her with fury

"Oh you like me, yea awesome that makes so much sense!! If i knew fighting and bullying turns you on i would have made my move earlier"

"That's why i didn't want--" but once again she is cut off

"Oh don't you dare even say a word. Since i got here all you ever did was to manipulate me and every god damn student and do you know what i did?" I raise my voice intently, and before i can stop myself i continue

"I kept thinking..why is Poppy behaving like this? Who hurt her? Where did it all go wrong? I even felt bad for you, for who? For the most awful person that exists!!" Wow maybe i am going off way to hard but its either now or never

"And do you know what's the funniest thing of all? I like you too Poppy, i really do even after everything you have done"

This is the first time that she meets my eyes tonight and i can see fresh tears running down her face. Vulnerable Poppy is something rare, so i take a deep breath trying to calm myself down

"Why did you have to be so cruel?" My voice breaks as tears take over me. How could we let this escalate to something so terrible? How could we both hide our feelings so perfectly masking them behind hatred?

"You don't have to leave Bea" this is the first time she ever said my name. She always referred to me with my last name or other nasty nicknames her and her circle were thinking about

"The Dean already reached out, seems like your charm worked as always" i sigh wiping away my tears

I look at the sky again, noticing that it slowly changing colours. I am leaving today, i leave everything i have ever felt passionate about behind me, all because i lost at her game and got burned

"I should really get going, my father will be here 7 am sharp, I don't want the whole university watching me leave while cheering"

Poppy stands up with me adjusting her clothes. She might have not spoken a lot but her silence is actually enough for me to understand that this bothers her. I expected her to jump from happiness or throw a giant party to celebrate my absence but instead she looks like a mess

Before i can turn around and walk she stares at me for one brief second before crushing her lips against mine. Her strawberry flavour lip gloss mixed with her bittersweet perfume make my senses dizzy and i get lost in the sensation.

She pushes me away and i see now her mascara running "no waterproof mascara Miss Perfect?" I tease and i earn a little laugh off of her

"Shut up jerk" she leans in again giving me a soft peck on my lips and i melt against her. How can i possibly leave her behind?

So i lean in again giving her one last breathless kiss and once we part i whisper against her lips "Goodbye Poppy". My breath ghost her face and with all my willpower i push her slowly walking away.

Before i can turn my back on her i stop to take her in. Part of me will miss her attitude, her comebacks, the little fights. I scan her from head to toe making sure i will never forget such an enemy.

And then i turn around and i can feel the tears dropping uncontrollably. What happened to me? I was so mad and now look at me i am a mess for her. Despite the urge to turn around i can feel her eyes burning my back and i try pull myself together.

Walking away i let the memories brush away. I will never forget how much fun and adventure i have been through this university. Everything will now be a memory and i know fully that right now i am not just leaving a building behind, but friendships, a great future and do you know what else i leave behind? Poppy. I will miss you, but i hope you know that you are unforgettable.

Tag list: @lolimugly @origmansello @greatestflirt-hero @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @sugarplumpnhoneybun @princessstellaris @coldbatfriendroad @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @dumb-jock-lesbian @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @justastranger-passing