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kidney9-9 · 4 months

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Visions - Peter Parker

@theslayerofthevampires asked: Hey! You asked for requests so here I am:) I was wondering if you could do a Peter Parker x psychic reader one and this could take place around homecoming era where the reader has had the gift of premonitions ever since she was little. She attends school with Peter Parker and friends unaware that he's Spider-Man. One day when she helps Peter pick up something that he dropped and she has a premonition that involves the Peter being trapped under rubble the premonition is so violent that it cause her to faint

Hey there! I hope you enjoy this oneshot. It went kinda long and I cut it off at an odd moment because I wasn't sure how to continue it without it being super long! Thanks for sending this one in :)

Peter Parker x Reader [Fluff and Angst] Warnings: Violence, visions, mention of death, fainting

Starting a new school again made your head hurt like hell. You and your family had to move to this new area because of your dad’s job and thankfully, this was supposed to be the last time you guys would move. Hopefully, you’d enjoy this new school you were going to, as a sophomore. It was upsetting that you had to leave your friends once again, after living in your old home for about two years.

Your head was hurting even more than normal, since you started to have more and more premonitions after moving to such a big city. Your dad’s job usually took you all to somewhat remote places. The most remote place you had to live was in a small town in Alaska for about three years, when you were in elementary school.

These premonitions started the night your grandmother passed away. It was awful, the first ever premonition you had was the view of your grandmother’s funeral and you hadn’t known at the time that she had just passed away.

Thankfully, there had been a little box set aside for you from your grandmother that explained why you had this supposed “gift”. It passed onto every other generation of women born in your family, after the last person with the gift had died. You were “blessed” (you had believed yourself to be doomed) with the gift of seeing the future. You would get random visions every day, lasting only a few seconds at a time. Sometimes touching something or someone would trigger a more powerful vision, one where you’d feel like you were really there.

This big new city had been causing you to have visions every other hour of the day, it was terrible.

And this school was huge! You had applied to it when you heard you were moving and thankfully your application was accepted. Each classroom had about 30 people in them, and the courtyard was twice the size of the football field.

The start of the first day was a bore so far. You were in your fourth class, right before lunch, and you stared at the board as the teacher droned on and on about following their rules.

“All borrowed pencils will go back into this container here. I count all my pencils at the beginning and end of class, so please return them. You will need access to a laptop this year for my class, because we will be writing a lot of essays. If you need a laptop, you can always rent one in the library here on campus, using your student ID number. We will also be using a textbook and various online sources, so please look on my syllabus to see which textbook to pick up at the library sometime this week.” He continued and you took a few notes to remember the things he was talking about.

“This is so boring.” Someone whined behind you, and you mumbled back, “Right?” This spurred on a surprised laugh from the person behind you, so you turned around to see who it was.

It was a guy, with dark brown hair parted at his forehead, wearing a graphic t-shirt of an old cartoon character. “I’m Ned, it’s nice to meet you.” He whispered to you, eyes going back and forth from the teacher to you.

You nodded politely and smiled to him, telling him your name, “It’s nice to meet you too. Cool shirt.”

Ned visibly brightened up and you smiled even more back to him. You turned around when you heard your teacher clear his throat and continued the lecture. A few minutes went by and finally the teacher said to introduce yourself and talk with others around the classroom.

You turned your chair around to face Ned and smiled at him again. “Hey, so we have history together. Do you know anything about this class and teacher?” You awkwardly bring up, trying to start a conversation.

“Oh yeah! He’s kind of a jerk when he doesn’t have an energy drink on his desk. And his breath stinks really bad, so prepare yourself if you ever need to talk one on one with him. But I think he lets people choose their own partners in class.” Ned rambles, then looks at your notes, “Wow. You’re prepared! Are you like, good at school? You should join our team for the Academic Decathlon this year!”

You laughed slightly, “I mean, I just write down what seems important and remember the dates.”

“That’s perfect, we’re always looking for new people to join. Are you good with math and science as well?” Ned asked and you nodded.

“I am, I was actually in a math club in my last school.” You shrugged, and Ned’s eyes widened.

“If you join our team, I will literally do anything you want as a favor. Seriously, we only had like 3 girls last year, it’s always good to diversify our team! Please, join. You seem cool too, since you recognized who was on my shirt.” Ned begged, leaning closer to you on his desk.

You let out a surprised laugh, “I’ll think about it. Maybe if I meet more of the members, I’ll join?”

“Stay with me during lunch, I’ll introduce you to my friend Peter! He’s part of the club too. And Liz Allen’s part of the team too if you heard of her.” Ned mentioned.

You shook your head, “I don’t know anyone here. Just know the classmates that sat next to me during class.”

“Oh, okay! Yeah, I think you’ll get along with the rest of the team, they’re pretty nice.” Ned shrugged.

You sat next to Ned after grabbing some food. The cafeteria was somewhat busy, but it seemed like everyone was grouped up mostly, and getting ready for Homecoming. You took a bite out of your food as Ned spoke up to someone, as they sat next to him on the bench.

“Oh hey, this is Peter Parker, my friend I was talking about earlier.” He introduced you and Peter together. You smile and wave politely to him, finishing your bite.

“Hi Peter. It’s nice to meet you. You’re on the Academic Decathlon team here?” You started the conversation between the three of you and Ned launched into explaining to Peter how you two met and how he thought you’d do great on the team.

“Yeah! I think the teacher would welcome you on the team anytime during the year, so it doesn’t matter if you’re new. Plus, I think there’s a trip soon, for our competition, so that would be fun. I’m not sure I’ll be there for it, but you should totally go with Ned.” Peter told you and you nodded.

“Oh sweet. I think I’ll join you guys for a meeting then and I’ll see if I like it.” You responded and took a sip of water.

“Why do you keep cancelling things, Peter? It sucks, you’re like my best friend and you’re always going on about your internship. Tony Stark’s gotta let you off the leach sometimes.” Ned complained, noticing Peter’s words about possibly not going on the trip.

“Woah, Tony Stark?” You asked, impressed. Tony Stark didn’t hire high school interns, you had researched that a while ago when you lived somewhere in California. There was a Stark Industries building a few streets away from your old school and you wanted to intern there for a little but was told it wasn’t possible.

Peter must be super smart, you figured, to get an internship at that company.

“Oh yeah, I’ve been a bit busy with that. And I always have to make sure I’m available for Tony Stark whenever. He could need me anytime, so I want to make sure I can help him out.” Peter replied, making Ned pout.

“That’s so annoying. Can’t you like tell Tony to chill out or something?” Ned groaned, rolling his eyes as Peter shook his head.

“I can’t just blow him off like that. And… besides I talk to his assistant, or something more than I talk to Tony since he’s really busy.” Peter huffed out.

“Still, that’s so cool you know him and have an internship. What do you guys do?” You asked, and Peter lit up, starting to talk about robotics and technology he was working on.

“Well, he’s got me reading and learning about MIT’s newest robot. I think he’s working on something with the Avengers too, so we only talk every so often about this stuff.” He brought up and you oohed in interest.

“The Avengers are cool, I heard something’s up with Captain America though. I don’t think we know all the details though, since the news keeps repeating what they’re saying about him.” You said, and Nod hummed in response to your words as he chewed on something.

“I used to think he was awesome until he did those videos for gym classes. Now he’s just some weirdo boomer.” Ned groaned.

Peter laughed, “He’s kind of strong regardless of that.”

A few weeks went by as you started to get used to living here. You became friends with Ned and Peter, along with MJ, who had started to tag along whenever you brought her into the conversation. You joined the Academic Decathlon team, and also started to become friends with a few of them there. You mostly hung out with Ned outside of class, going to his place and building some Lego sculptures as you two watched old timey shows on TV.

Peter would sometimes join along, always appearing to be sweaty for some reason. You and Ned would tease him about running errands for Tony Stark, but Peter would brush it off and say he was just busy a lot now. You met his aunt, May, who was such a sweetheart. She had squealed in joy when Peter said you were his friend, which made you all laugh.

“Peter typically only stuck with Ned all the time! I’m just so happy he’s growing up and getting more friends in his life.” May remarked afterwards.

You introduced May to your mom one day since they both had similar interests. May’s job with a charity organization had connected her with one of your relatives out of state, which led to her connecting more with your family and you. It felt like a small world when you found out about her connection!

You, Ned, and Peter (and sometimes MJ) started going to a deli near the school to finish up some homework and then hang out and decide if you guys would go to Ned’s place or Peter’s place, since both you and MJ lived a bit further away from the school.

You got pretty close with MJ, outside of the group when both Ned and Peter would hang out to do stuff together. MJ was someone who really recognized there was something different about you, when she caught onto the fact you’d randomly know if there would be something special about the day.

She had mentioned it in conversation once and then kept quiet about it after you got a little antsy about the fact she was onto your secret.

“Yeah, I see when you blink out of our conversations sometimes and come back looking a bit different. It’s like you went somewhere, didn’t you?” MJ said, to which you quickly laughed loudly and brought up another subject.

She would wink at you whenever you randomly say not to do something or go somewhere. It made your heart jump a little in concern, but it made you happy that she didn’t do anything else about it.

Sometimes, just you and Peter would be hanging out when Ned’s family needed his help with something, and you and Peter would quietly stay together in Ned’s room while he went and helped. It was never awkward, but it felt peaceful and you two got along great.

He talked about Star Wars a lot and even lent you one of his special edition versions of the second original movie. You would bring up a lot of random facts you learned about Star Wars, something you’ve started doing to see if Peter also knew that much about Star Wars, since you were a fan.

Sometimes he would bring up some inventions that he was thinking of. When you responded once to one of his ramblings about making something stretchy and sticky, with “Isn’t that what Spiderman uses?”, he turned red and apologized about being nerdy with science.

You didn’t think he needed to apologize for something that seemed to make him genuinely happy, and when you said that he laughed and said it was a bit of a habit. He seemed to talk more about stuff that made him happy after that and smiled more openly around you.

You had an appointment today to talk about moving your English class to an Advanced Placement English class with your counselor, which was lucky because Peter had an appointment with the same counselor today as well. You both walked together to the office, and you sat down outside the counselor’s office while Peter walked in first since he had his appointment before you.

You pulled out your phone to scroll through as you waited. After ten minutes or so, you glanced up at the sound of a chair scraping against the floor.

“Okay Peter, you seriously have to consider at least hanging onto a few extracurricular clubs if you want to be taken seriously for consideration of a scholarship to Ivy League schools. I know you have your internship with Stark Industries, but you should keep your options open.” The counselor spoke up loudly as the door opened.

You stood up when the door opened, smiling at Peter as he walked out the door. He looked a bit upset, but still smiled back, “Your turn. I’ll wait here for you.”

You nodded silently, wondering if he was alright. You’d speak to him after your appointment. The counselor welcomed you in by saying your name.

“Hi, it’s good to finally see you again after emailing you a few weeks ago. So, how are you settling in? Do you like it here?” She asked as you sat down, and the door closed again. You shifted in the chair as you set your bag down on the floor.

“It’s going well, I like it here. I’m actually friends with Peter.” You nodded back towards the door, and she smiled in understanding.

“Aw, I’m glad you guys get along. I see here you’re also in the Academic Decathlon as him. Are you enjoying that? I think there’s a trip in two weeks! Are you going?” She asked a few questions and you fiddled with your fingers as you answered.

“Oh yeah, I’m going there and yeah, it’s really fun. Everyone’s pretty sweet in the group.” You answered back.

“Well, I’m happy to hear you’re settling in nicely. So, you wanted to move classes to a higher placement? I thought I saw you had a little trouble with reading in your file, do you feel ready to move to a higher class?” She asked, and you almost flinched at the question, being reminded of your visions. They happened more often while you were reading, and during school, that caused a few problems.

“Oh, it’s getting better, I think I can handle it. I just have a little trouble with reading out loud sometimes, I have trouble focusing on the words.” You explained, avoiding outright telling her the reason why you had trouble with that.

“Okay, well we can always have accommodations be made for you if that ever becomes a problem in the classroom, but I think it’s good we met up, so we understand where you want to go now. I’ll place you in the advanced class and I’ll email you in about a week to check in on how it’s going. I’ll send you your new classroom number and your new teacher’s email address. You’ll start going to the new English class tomorrow, does that sound good?” She spoke and you nodded along to what she said.

“Yeah, thank you. That’s all good!” You responded happily.

“Well, I think that’s it for this meeting. Thank you for coming in, I’ll see you later. Let me know if you need anything or want anything, dear. It was nice to meet you.” She said as you started to get up.

“Okay, thank you again. Bye!” You started to leave but she quickly gasped, “Oh wait! I forgot, give this paper to Peter for me, please. Thank you again.”

You took the paper she was holding and walked out the door, smiling politely at her. You didn’t look down at the paper, fearing it was something private and only for Peter, so you gazed up and walked towards the chair Peter was sitting in.

You hold the paper out in front of you as Peter gets up from the chair. “Hey, did it go good?” He asked, as you hand him the paper.

“Yeah, I got into the class I wanted.” You nodded, then added on, “Oh yeah, she wanted to give this to you, she forgot to give it to you before you left.”

Peter blinks down at the paper and sighs, then drags his bag down his shoulder, onto his arm and opens up the zipper.

“Shoot. I got to show this to Aunt May.” He said as he grabbed a folder from his bag, He flimsily opened it and started to put the paper into the folder. Just then, the door opened loudly from the other side of the office, causing Peter to flinch and drop his folder and papers.

He groaned loudly and leaned down, and you leaned down with him, helping him pick his stuff up. “Oh, is this all the stuff to study from the team?” You asked, seeing a few papers about some subjects’ you guys have been studying for.

You pick up one of the papers and hand it over to him, his fingers sliding against yours as he accepted the paper and your eyes glazed over as a vision hit you when you were unprepared. You stayed frozen in the moment, trying to blink off the vision but none of that worked, especially since it hit you so strongly this time.

At first, all you saw was darkness and heard deep rumbling and cracks, then you refocused your eyesight, blinking at what appeared to be a person struggling underneath rubble. You gasped as you walked forward in the vision, noticing it was Peter, your friend. He was stuck, struggling, and heaving as a piece of huge concrete laid atop him.

“I gotta get out of this, I gotta…” Peter gasped, over and over again, trying to breathe in fresh air. Blood was leaking down his face, and he was slurring his words, and you knelled down near him, your heart pounding harder than ever before.

“Peter!” You cried out, trying to help him but you couldn’t, you were ghost like in your visions. Your vision turned black, as if staring at the ocean during a dark night, waves of worry hitting you.

Your body hit the floor before Peter could even react, absolutely surprising and worrying him as your body lay down. Your eyes were closed, and you were incredibly pale, looking sickly. Peter quickly dropped his things, calling out your name as he picked you up.

“Oh my! What happened?!” The counselor gasped loudly, as she stepped into the room.

Peter shrugged, feeling panicked, “I think she fainted! Can I take her to the nurse?” He looked down at you, softly putting his hand near your wrist to check your heartrate. He sighed in relief to see it was mostly normal, just a little lower than an average teen’s heartrate.

“Of course, please do.” The counselor responded and Peter picked you up completely, leaving his stuff on the floor for later.

He took you to the nurse’s office as fast as he could, putting you on one of the beds in the corner of the room. He explained what happened to the nurse as he started to freak out a little more, sitting down next to your bed.

“Should I do anything to help? Can I call her mom? I know her, she’s really good friends with my Aunt. Is she going to be, okay? Can I stay here with her during class? I don’t want to leave her alone, especially if she’s hurt.” Peter rambled, putting his hand near yours and holding onto it tightly. He didn’t want to let go, he was worried.

The nurse sighed, “Well, you can stay, go ahead, and call her mom for me. She should be fine. It sounds like she might have just had a little fainting spell. Maybe she has really low blood sugar, but we’ll know when she wakes up.”

Peter thanked the nurse and called your mom, explaining what happened. In the meantime, you slowly started to wake up, still reeling from what you saw.

“Peter!” You gasped as you started to fully wake up, and he squeezed your hand softly, “Hey, how are you feeling?”

You felt horrible and scared for him, your eyes searched up and down his face, trying to see if there was any blood there, but you knew it was going to happen in the future. You were terrified. “Are you okay?” You still had to ask, still scared by what you saw.

“Wait – what, of course I’m okay! Are you? You fainted! Do you need some water? I called your mom and she’s coming by to pick you up from school so you can stay at home. Are you feeling alright?” He rambled, face slowly red from not breathing in.

“Mm, good. You need to stay safe. I’m okay, just… tired. Didn’t get much sleep last night.” You lied to him. His face contorted worriedly, as he squeezed your hand once more and you tried to smile at him.

“I promise I’m okay Peter.” You wanted to say it was him that would not be okay, that he needed to stay safe, but you couldn’t. You were glad your mom was coming to pick you up. She was one of the only people that understood your visions.

She didn’t have them, but having grown up with her mom having visions, she knew what they were, and understood that they were passed on through the family. In fact, she was probably going to ask you once you guys were in private if things were okay and if you guys needed to do anything.

There was only two other times your visions had helped prevent tragedies and emergencies.

The first time was when there was an earthquake in California when you and your family lived there, and the vision warned you that the large tree in your backyard would collapse against the house and severely injure you and your dad. You had the vision eight days before the earthquake, and you all made sure to be away from where the majority of the earthquake would hit.

The second was during your cousin’s first birthday party, where she had reached out and grabbed the lit candle off the cake and dropped it into a bush, where a large fire started and caused an explosion in your uncle’s house. You got that vision after touching the birthday invitation note, ten days before it happened.

They both terrified you and your family. And you were so very grateful that you guys managed to avoid it.

You hoped you’d be able to prevent this from happening. You tried to look for clues of your vision to see where it happened and when it would happen, but you hadn’t really gotten over the shock. You’d look over it when you could, but for now you couldn’t really recall the details.

You really didn’t want Peter to get hurt so badly like this. And since this was such a big city, it probably would hurt multiple people, instead of just Peter. You were terrified.

You blinked back into focus when Peter said your name, and you looked over at him. “You good? I’m really worried about you. You seem really sick.” He asked worriedly.

You shook your head, “It’s fine, I promise. Thank you, Peter. Really, thank you for helping me and bringing me here. You’re a good person.”

He blushed slightly as he gazed back at you, “Of course. I know we just met this year, but we’ve become really close, so I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. I care about you, you know?”

You felt your heart flutter slightly at his kind words, “I really care about you too. You’re special to me.” His eyes widened at that, and his hand unknowingly went slack in yours, and you quickly added on, “Uh, you and Ned and MJ… yeah. Really special.”

He quickly smiled softly to your words, but his eyes seemed a little duller than they did a moment ago. “Yeah, of course. I feel the same way about you. And them too, I guess.” He shrugged at the end silly, causing you to chuckle just a bit.

A knock at the door caused both you and Peter to look over, to see your mom walk in. You grinned at her as she came in, and silently nodded back to her when you saw the silent question in her eyes.

She signed you out of school for the day at the nurse’s desk, “Thank you for taking care of her.” She said to the nurse, but she snorted and pointed over to Peter.

“This boy here is the one that really cared for her. They’re so sweet, what a lovely couple.” The nurse said sweetly, and you coughed as Peter’s hand moved out of yours swiftly.

“We’re not a couple!” You yelped out at the same time Peter said, “Not together!”

Your mom and the nurse laughed at the two of you. “Oh, it’s alright, either way, you guys seem close. I’m glad my daughter has met someone so kind.” She said to Peter in a grateful tone.

Peter’s ears turned red at your mom’s words, and he nodded back, “Oh yeah, she’s kind too.”

“Hm, well anyway, say goodbye to Peter. I’m taking you home to rest. I can tell you need some rest.” Your mom said towards you, and you nodded and glanced over to Peter as you slowly got up from the bed. He helped you up, using his hand to support your back as you stood up.

“Thank you again. You’re really sweet. I’ll see you tomorrow maybe. I’m not sure if I’ll go to school tomorrow.” You spoke in a low volume to Peter, who smiled sweetly at you. You wanted to reach out and hug him, but you held off.

“Yeah, it’s no problem and text me after you get some rest! I’ll tell Ned and MJ you went home today.” He responded. You and your mom left the office after a few more moments, and Peter watched as you left.

He couldn’t help but worry about you, wondering why you fainted. He was scared to see you look so sick at that moment. It was also at that moment that he realized how much he really cared for you, much more than a friend would care. Either way, he was happy you went home to rest. He just hoped you’d feel better soon.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #spiderman x reader #avengers x reader #thanks for reading!

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allaboutthebooz · 1 year

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Come Over

Summary: Bucky can't seem to let go

Pairing: Bucky x reader

A/n: Oh look. I've come out of my once a year slumber to grace you with my undeserving presence and I will leave you with the tasty angst. It will be a one-shot, I'm sorry. Don't hate me too much.

"Come over." The two words that light up your phone, briefly illuminating your dark bedroom at one o'clock in the morning. You had spent the past few hours tossing and turning. You just couldn't seem to shut your brain off and apparently neither could he.

He always seemed to know when you were having a hard time sleeping. He also knew exactly what you needed. A way to relax.

The only problem was that you both agreed to not keep doing this. Things weren't easy when you were together, almost toxic really.

Constant screaming matches that would always lead to tears and clothes being tossed around the apartment. To him moving agonizingly slow inside of you. Him whispering his love and apologies in your ear while you whimpered and moved to meet his thrusts just the way he liked. Accepting the affection while it lasts, knowing it would happen again.

When things finally ended with you packing your things and leaving the spare key on the counter, you swore to never allow yourself to be caught up in his game of push and pull again.

You were devastated to leave him, but knew it was the only way things would change. He made it so difficult to stay away though. One text or call and one of you would be at the other's door.

Your friends always questioned why you kept crawling back to him and no matter how much explaining you tried to do, they just wouldn't leave it alone. You would go on the dates they would arrange for you, but you always found yourself in his bed after the guys would drop you off.

You laid in bed a few more minutes trying to decide if you should ignore him or give in the slight tug behind your navel. You had just thrown your covers off of you, when your phone began to ring. Without looking at the Caller ID, you answer.

"Hello?"

"I was worried you were actually asleep for once." His rough voice making your insides melt.

You release a slight chuckle. "No I was just debating if this was a good idea."

"It's always a good idea." You could hear the smile in his voice.

You sigh. "Is it though? We're supposed to be moving on, Buck. How am I supposed to move on when you won't let me?"

"Who says I want you to move on?"

"I don't know. The gazillion fights we've had. The constant screaming at each other. The constant tears I've shed. I can keep going. We're not good for each other."

He's quiet for a moment. You can tell he's going through the memories of you two together. "That doesn't mean we're good for anyone else."

"You don't know that, James."

"Yes, I do. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were it for me. No matter what we've gone through. You're still the one I want in my arms at the end of the day."

"The only thing we're good at together, is fucking each other and you know that's not good enough."

"That doesn't mean I want you to move on. I will never stop loving you."

You heart clenches. "Maybe you should."

He pauses. "Do you want me to?"

Your breath catches in your throat. It wasn't all bad. Aside from the sex, you two were capable of laughing and being completely in love. You remember how he would hold you close when you were out with your friends. How he would come up behind you when you were cooking and just wrap himself around you. How he would take you to your favorite meadow and you would sprawl out on a blanket, while he would just look at you as if you were the only thing that mattered to him.

How he would tuck your hair behind your ears and kiss you so gently that you felt like you would float away. How he would hum his favorite songs while he got ready for work and you laid in bed watching him. His ice blue eyes, taking in every inch of you when you would sit on the couch reading.

"No I don't." You whisper.

"Then get your ass over here and let me show you just how much I love you."

Tears prick your eyes. "I don't think I should, Bucky."

"Come on, babe." He pleads gently. "I love you so much. Things can be so different this time. I can stop hurting you."

"You say this every time. How do I know that things won't be the same?"

"You have to trust me. The only way to know is for me to prove it to you." You can hear the desperation growing inside of him.

You shake your head. "I don't know, Buck."

"Then let me come to you." He begs. "Please, Y/N."

TAG LIST: @fangirlinsweden @snackles87 @jamielea81

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #marvel reader insert #marvel series #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan reader #bucky reader insert

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cinnamonest · 5 months

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LENA HI i need to ask. how do you survive irl? bc personally im a radical feminist and im all for eradicating gender roles and empowering women so having all these raging fetishes that stem from misogyny is so shameful to me(not that i really want to stop anyway…) i walk around with millions of unwanted inappropriate thoughts produced by my noncon-adled porn-rotten brain. like i genuinely need advice(or at least reassurement…) from someone that can relate. even if you cant relate or dont want to answer, id be VERY happy if you could just post this to your board so maybe someone else could see it and send a reply, as another anon or as a comment to the post, idk. thank you in advance. and no i dont want to see a professional about this, the fuck am i supposed to tell them😭

I totally get that, I struggled with the same thing for a long time. I'm not great with explaining things like this, but I think the most important thing to address (the observation of which helped me get over feelings of shame and guilt) is

1) a disconnect between real misogyny and fictional misogyny, as well as 2) critical examination of fandom culture perpetuating shaming the content.

To be very clear: misogyny in real life is not like what I write about. Actual misogynists behave remarkably differently from what you see here. They do not cherish you, they're not just possessive or tsun, they genuinely do not see you as human, you are disposable to them, they hate you — and their behavior reflects that.

Secondly, I think it helps to become aware of a phenomenon I've noticed, increasingly so in recent years, where the same people vehemently hating on dark fiction will turn around and engage in very real misogyny. It's a bizarre phenomenon but it's definitely real and observable, and observing this over and over again has proven to me that fictional content does not at all facilitate real engagement.

I'm obviously biased to myself, and I won't say it's objectively true, but I personally think that the fictional content helps me recognize the real thing even where others often don't, and I've seen others in these spaces have similar experiences.

Which frankly, this contrast is not good because real misogyny, especially as it is casually woven into everyday life and culture, causes real harm, yet fandom culture is increasingly obsessed with fictional content and shaming consumers while turning a blind eye to it occurring in reality.

Recognizing the difference, for me at least, and the disconnect between them, as well as the realization of just how often real misogyny was a critical part of getting over feelings of guilt.

Tldr:

1) fictional misogyny and real misogyny are not only different, but often mutually exclusive, and

2) engaging with fictional content on misogyny does not inhibit your ability to recognize nor combat it — that's a matter of careful analysis of engagement with culture.

Also on another note — there are a lot of professionals who are very understanding about this sort of thing! I won't say every single one is, but there are plenty of non-judgemental professionals.

#for some reason i got a long rant post hating on dark content in my recommended tab #then the same person had made generic taylor swift hate posts #people truly lack self awareness and the older i get the more evident that is

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imamcactus · 1 year

Text

TF2 mercers with a reader from the future/our time

So, tf2 canonically happens in 1968. Imagine what it would be like if you got thrown into the late 60s after bumping into Merasmus, who somehow got to our time via some magic shit he did

Slight TW: (serious)mentions of war, political activity throughout the ages (specifically USSR), and mention of racism, (joking)my horrible writing of accents and sayings

Also, the reader in this doesn’t have a specified gender, aside from Scout calling the reader “toots” once

You woke up tied up to a chair in the middle of an empty room

And then 9 men enter room and start asking you all sorts of questions

“Who are you?” “How did you find this place?” “Why are you dressed so weird?”

So you just try to explain that the last thing you remember is going about your day when a weird guy with a with a goat skull on his head did some weird abracadabra shit and now you’re here

The only thing they understood out of all that was weird guy with a goat skull on his head

Spy gets a hold of your bag/purse to look for something like a tracker or a weapon you could have on you (despite your protests) and finds your ID, and looks fairly confused

Slowly, that confusion turned into realisation and slight shock

“Say, ms/mr (Y/N),” The man with a mask on his face starts, tearing his gaze away from the ID card, his brows furrowed and eyes stern. “What year is it to you?”

You stared up at him, slightly confused and uneasy with how seriously he asked that. “Uhh, it’s 2023.” You answer carefully, observing how the rest of the men exchanged looks, each looking more confused than last. The man in a doctor's coat took a look at the ID as well, realisation washing over his face just as fast. “Mein Gott…”

“What?? Why are you all looking at me like that?”

The group stays quiet, disbelief and confusion still in the air, until finally the one in construction helmet speaks up in a southern accent. “Well, I’m afraid you might be over yonder in the wrong day and age, pardner.”

Soooo, you’re in the past

About 50 years into the past

Your parents are not even born yet

After they untied you, you spent the next half an hour just walking back and forth panicking and trying to understand what to do next

The entire time you’re muttering to yourself stuff like “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to get back? Can I even get back?? Has anyone noticed that I’m missing yet? How long have I even been here? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I’m doomed I’m doomed I’m doomed I’m doomed”

Meanwhile the mercers are just looking at you slowly losing your mind

Eventually, the southern on (who told you to call him engineer) broke you out of your little panic circle, proposing that you stay at the red base for a while until they figure out how to help you get back, or until Merasmus shows up again and he can send you back

“Does he hang around here often?” “Well…” “...I’m doomed I’m doomed I’m doomed-”

Nonetheless, you accept the offer (Despite some of the mercers being against this, they’re still vary of you, unsure if you can be trusted or not), and you’ve been chilling with them since, learning about each and every mercer (as much as you can that is, some wouldn’t budge)

Even getting to spend time with them individually

Scout

Scout would most likely be the one of, if not the most, curious about what the future is like

Will ask like 3000 questions at once

“What’s it like in the future? Do flying cars exist? How does bonk taste in the future?” “What is bonk???”

From that moment he doesn't want to know more about the future, the mere knowledge that bonk has been discontinued ruined him

Still thinks it’s pretty cool despite the fact that you don’t tell him much

You know, first rule of time travel, don’t reveal shit

You do give him subtle clues that leave him wondering cause he’s not smart enough to figure it out

“Heyyyy, toots, question. I know you can’t tell me much, but do you happen to know if I get married to certain assistant-” “Scout for the last time I don’t even know you in the future”

Soldier

“Tell me, maggot, is America still the greatest country in the world?” “...I’m legally not obligated to answer that question.”

At some point you do want to tell him about all the shit that America has done over the years and how knee deep in shit it currently is, but you can’t for two reasons

One, the time travel rules

Two, he seems so genuinely happy and proud to be an american that you don’t want to burst his bubble

Expect a LOT of history lessons about America and everything to do with it that you didn’t know about. He will tell you everything

Hey on the plus side, you’ll pass any american history test

Also fun fact, the construction of the twin towers started on August 6th of 1968, he’ll be telling you all about it while you just sit there sweating

Pyro

Does he even know what year he lives in??? I feel like he doesn’t have a proper concept of time because of the goggles

But in all seriousness, I feel like he wouldn’t really care that much about a lot of real life stuff

He’ll most likely just wonder if we figured out how to make cotton candy grows on trees

Honestly, he’s kind of a fresh breath of air to you

He thinks life is just sunshine and lollipops in the future, just like he sees it now, and you just let him live that fantasy, wishing the world actually was the way he sees it

(Aside from the time you saw him on the battlefield. In that moment you wondered if cotton candy really was the only thing on his mind)

Demo

“Aye have to know, did me pa succeed in bombing the Queen of England?” “...Well-”

He’s probably more interested in what assortment of alcoholic drinks you have in the future

You can tell him that much at least, and that satisfies him

When he gets drunk, however, he asks about the rights of black people in the future and if they still face just as much shit as they do now

In that moment, you weigh your options between telling him the truth and tell him that black people still face discrimination but have significantly more rights and are actively fighting for them everyday, or tell him yet again that you can’t tell him anything

you choose to tell him the truth

he is probably the only mercer who you’ve told about the future in such detail

he won’t remember it in the morning, mostly just asking if he said or did anything stupid and laugh off whatever excuse you came up with

And you don’t know whether to feel happiness and relief that you didn’t screw up the future, or feel sad that he doesn’t remember the answer to his question that is probably bugging him a lot

Engineer

One of those who asks the least questions

Don’t get me wrong, this man is very curious and wants to know how the technology evolves in the future

But he also understands that you can’t reveal anything for everyone's sake to not cause a butterfly effect

He has 11PhDs, he can figure that the future might change drastically if you reveal anything that will happen

And you want to tell him everything

All the stuff that we have, even if not as impressive as what he makes for this team, some of the stuff would still leave him surprised

You would show him your phone and how it works on a condition that he doesn’t do anything with this knowledge

He also figures a few things along the way the longer you stay there

Like your surprise that teleportation is possible

Heavy

You wanna tell this man so badly that USSR doesn’t exist anymore

If you are from one of the post soviet countries, he will apologise so much about what his country has done to yours and your people

You’d probably give him a whole speech how what is happening right now is not his fault as he is an anti communist

(Bonus, if you happen to be from one of those countries and know Russian, you’ll most likely sometimes speak in his native tongue)

My personal headcanon is that Heavy most likely spent his free time with people who were deported from their countries to Siberia to labour camps, learning about their cultures and even a little of their languages, so, surprise! He can somewhat communicate with you in your native tongue!

If you’re not from one of the post soviet countries, you still feel bad for the big fellow, especially with what is happening in the world right now

You simply tell him that the system is so flawed it will cause its own downfall. You don’t tell him how or when, but it will

You definitely don’t tell him about the current mess his home land has caused, but you’re pretty sure he would be against it as well.

Medic

Another case of wants to know more, but understands you can’t say much

He’s insane not stupid, he did have a medical licence once upon a time, so there is a smart brain up there

He’d be the most interested in how the medical field has advanced though

But after hearing all about the crazy messed up shit he has done, you tell him there’s nothing interesting in the future that would amaze him

This man has revived people, cut them open while they stay awake and managed to keep them alive when their organs explode, replaced their vital organs with animal ones, created mpreg, has a Spys head in his fridge that is begging for the sweet release of death, figured out how to make people bulletproof, HAS A GUN THAT HEALS UP ANY AND ALL INJURIES

And we’ve done a surgery on a grape and turned a woolly mammoth into a meatball

Yeah he would not be impressed

Maybe by some of the technologies we now have for surgeries and all the possibilities for people to live past their expected lifespan

But mostly no

Sniper

“Is being an assassin still a good job?”

I feel like Sniper wouldn’t really care all that much

Hey, what happens, happens, not his place to do or change anything even if he wanted to

So you two mostly just chill, not having access to the internet has made you appreciate nature more that’s for sure. You can’t check the latest news and how horrible things are in the world, so you just chill without a worry

He once caught you recording a voice message for your friend/family member, thought you were akin to spy after all and was ready to attack

Until he got closer and heard you saying to whoever the message was meant for that you are unsure when you’d be back, if you ever made it back, saying how you’re doing and to take care

After you sigh as yet another message doesn’t go through, he sat down next to you and you two just talked

Since then you two just kind of hang out in the wild

He’ll tell you all about the creature and plants you two happen to see

He’s also smart enough to figure a few things out on his own

“oooh, I’ve never seen this (plant/animal) in real life!” “probably cause at the moment these are endangered, probably won’t see those again when you go back”

And sadly, he’s right almost 85% of the time

Spy

oooooooooh boy

This guy doesn’t want to know what happens in the future for personal gain or to do something about it, no no no, he just wants to get as much of the information out of you as possible for fun

he’s used to the fact that he can get information about anyone and anything, it’s just a matter of a few strings pulled

But the fact that he couldn’t get any information about you (like who you were, where you’re from, your background and family information) drove this usually calm and collected man insane

He doesn’t show it, but it’s there

So he made it his personal goal to get as much info about you and the future as he possibly can

Which isn’t a lot, and that drives him up the wall even more

If you are a vaper and happened to have one on you while in this whole mess, congratulations, you just confused the living shit out of Spy with this refillable cigarette that runs on juice and electricity

Doesn’t understand why anyone would choose …that…over good old fashioned tobacco

Is however amazed by the variety in flavours when you tell him about those

He does smoke menthol cigarettes after all

Admittedly, not my best work out of everything I’ve ever written, but hopefully I’ll post something better soon enough

Also, let me know if you wanna see more story-like scenarios rather than headcanons of this same concept!

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 soldier #tf2 heavy #tf2 demoman #tf2 spy #tf2 pyro #tf2 headcanons #team fortress 2

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lyss-sketchbox · 23 days

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Have you played through Natlan a little bit yet? Because I love it except for one thing. Does the Archon quest feel...off to you? At least the first act. Specifically the character introductions and character acting?

Funny thing actually i JUST finished it last night!

Well uh spoilers ahead

I think its... alright-ish? Act 1 basically sets you up with the basics, the characters, the culture, the traditions, and lore so we know whats up. Cool. We are literally being fed information because we are tourists and i can excuse that.

Idk how to feel about traveller and paimon literally going 'ah look, an opportunity has arised, its time to do our thing and help with this major event'. I mean yes thats how its always been but mentioning it doesnt... help... it just points out a flaw.

The characters are fine enough imo. I really expected Mualani to have this super hyper attitude and squeaky voice we usually get from an 'everyone loves me' character but shes suprisingly mellow and i appreciate that alot. (May change with Citlali though and im not looking forward to it)

I do not like how it is very Tell not Show. Because you know what keeps being shown? The fact that Kachina is A CHILD. Maybe she's not an actual child who knows but hyv is clearly infantilizing her. Case in point:

The chief of the tribe literally asked you for ID because you are strangers hanging out around her. He literally said 'a good feeling isnt gonna be enough for your parents to trust these people'

After the chief knew who the traveller is, he said he could trust Kachina to go to the Stadium to sign up and not get into trouble. She HAS to participate because she has an Ancient Name and you can barely trust her to go to the stadium???

Kachina mentioning how she can't keep excusing her age for being a bad warrior. So she KNOWS shes young and either she or other people in the past has excused her for her performance because of her age.

The genuine actual side by side of her first match up. You know a child vs a massive buff man. Maybe it's just me but her kit is clearly not made to DPS and hyv making us fight these opponents with only her kinda makes it feel so much like a drag.

Everyone around her keeps saying oh shes actually really good, she almost made it last time, shes super powerful just lacking confidence. Well we dont really... see it. When the tournament started and we play as mualani and kachina all i can think about it 'yeah mualani is gonna do all the fighting here' and it adds to the idea that kachina literally did the bare minimum. But then suddenly we get a really cool cutscene of her defeating a 3 times winning veteran. It is not believable to me.

Also now that she's won we are literally sending her off to fight the abyss where she has a REAL CHANCE OF DYING but we gotta be ok with it because she can get resurrected? Are we not supposed to be concerned that we are sending a child to war with a real chance of her dying?

It is such a tonal shock and the traveller or paimon barely says anything about it so WE are supposed to be fine with it too? It probably is culture shock but like... SOME people still sees Clorinde as a killer despite doing her job as a duelist, how do you think those people will think seeing THIS tradition.

As for the bit where we go with mualani while we wait for kachina to come back from war, it was... alright i think. But the manufactured 'chillness' is there, like you can tell theyre trying their hardest to potray this tribe as the chill surfers one. Its also obvious they want us to like Atea. While she looks a lil overbearing i appreciate that they were being subtle about her 'my life isnt gonna last long so i am doing this dangerous task', they had to explain it anyway for mualani but i think them not stating out right at first that 'woah you werent going here because you can use the hotsprings again!' is a good choice, that is a good show not tell i think.

For now though the entire thing simply feels off because i feel like there's no stake at all for us. If kachina loses? Then she doesn't get sent to the war, thats kind of a good thing seeing how she did ended up 'dying'. We've met the archon but for some reason hasn't asked about our siblings or anything and the only reason we are staying is because its the right thing to do. Thats it. I think it's just... alot offered to us but none with actual value to the traveller personally.

While you can argue that fontaine is exactly like that, that we only stayed to help lyney with his trial and everything else because its the right thing to do. Lyney is fatui. Neuvillette is a dragon. And furina is an absent archon. Theres an air of mystery around how fontaine works and these people have MASSIVE connections. You almost want to stay to see how it'll turn up, what information will show up.

Natlan on the other hand revealed basically everything to us in the first 2 acts. Natlan gets abyss attacks because they dont have strong leyline connections. The fatui wants the gnosis and literally will just fight the archon for it. The archon is chill and kind and is the reincarnation of the original archon because we were told that. The facking traitor from night-wind is obviously the Ororon guy lmao. So what IS left to speculate? To look out for?

Like wow she's gonna carve us an Ancient Name? Why lmao. What for? We can purify the abyss we are not dying in the Night Kingdom.

Shrugs idk feel free to fight me on this. I am just a lil jaded because i literally cannot take the archon seriously when shes literally just called 'Archon' with no special title or anything

#maybe act 3-5 will prove me wrong #who knows shrugs #lyssten to my rambles

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morlock-holmes · 3 months

Text

In one of those things that makes you feel like reality is slipping away, Neil Gorsuch, in his majority opinion, essentially paraphrases that famous Anatole French quote,

"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal their bread."

Here's Gorsuch (Page 3 of the decision):

Grants Pass’s public-camping ordinances do not criminalize status. The public-camping laws prohibit actions undertaken by any person, regardless of status. It makes no difference whether the charged defendant is currently a person experiencing homelessness, a backpacker on vacation, or a student who abandons his dorm room to camp out in protest on the lawn of a municipal building.

The man isn't an idiot. His argument is that, in the precedent cited, the Supreme Court ruled that one cannot criminalize a status. Specifically, it cannot criminalize the status of being an addict.

(c) Plaintiffs insist the Court should extend Robinson to prohibit the enforcement of laws that proscribe certain acts that are in some sense “involuntary,” because some homeless individuals cannot help but do what the law forbids. See Brief for Respondents 24–25, 29, 32. The Ninth Circuit pursued this line of thinking below and in Martin, but this Court already rejected it in Powell v. Texas, 392 U. S. 514. In Powell, the Court confronted a defendant who had been convicted under a Texas statute making it a crime to “ ‘get drunk or be found in a state of intoxication in any public place.’ ” Id., at 517 (plurality opinion). Like the plaintiffs here, Powell argued that his drunkenness was an “‘involuntary’” byproduct of his status as an alcoholic. Id., at 533. The Court did not agree that Texas’s law effectively criminalized Powell’s status as an alcoholic. Writing for a plurality, Justice Marshall observed that Robinson’s “very small” intrusion “into the substantive criminal law” prevents States only from enforcing laws that criminalize “a mere status.” Id., at 532–533. It does nothing to curtail a State’s authority to secure a conviction when “the accused has committed some act . . . society has an interest in preventing.” Id., at 533. That remains true, Justice Marshall continued, even if the defendant’s conduct might, “in some sense” be described as “ ‘involuntary’ or ‘occasioned by’” a particular status. Ibid.

My counterargument would be that not all alcoholics drink, and they certainly do not all get drunk in a public place.

All homeless people must sleep.

My big picture question is that, if you have a status that essentially requires certain behavior, what, in practice, is the distinction between criminalizing the status and criminalizing the behavior?

Suppose I do not have private property on which I am allowed to sleep; how might I avoid getting arrested for violating this ordinance?

The answer is that I literally cannot. By definition.

The court, I suspect, would argue back that essentially "Not having private property on which to sleep" is itself not a status, but a behavior, and the state may have a justified reason to criminalize the behavior of not acquiring private property on which to sleep.

I hope I don't need to explain why I find that barbaric (And frankly, stupid as well).

PS - The conflation between behavior that is occasioned by a status and behavior that is involuntary in Powell seems like a moral mistake by the court. An Alcoholic may get drunk in his house, rather than in public; therefore, even though public drunkenness is clearly occasioned by his status as an addict, it is not involuntary.

For example, imagine a state law which makes it illegal to check your blood sugar. Does this not essentially criminalize the status of being Diabetic? If the state objected that it had not criminalized being a diabetic, because all citizens were forbidden from checking their blood sugar, I hope we'd be able to dismiss that as the absurdity that it is.

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mysteriousbp · 4 months

Text

So I recently made this post that compared Kanako with another video game character. And I thought it would be funny to have people guess the character. And someone got it.

It was Spooky from Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion. Now I am just making this post to explain the comparisons.

"WELL… BOTH OF YOU ARE LITTLE GIRLS WHO WERE ACCIDENTALLY HURT VERY BADLY BY ONE OF YOUR PARENTS…"

This comparison was about how Ceroba used the syringe on Kanako, which ended up causing her soul to crack. While Spooky's father shot his daughter.

And technically, both girls had a hand in their pain. Kanako convinced Ceroba to use the syringe on her. While Spooky was tired of people not being scared of her on Halloween, so she decided to scare her father by using fireworks that caused him to have a war veteran PTSD attack. He then started to have hallucinations about disfigured German soldiers, and he grabbed a gun and started to shoot them, shooting Spooky by accident.

And also, both parents don't tell anyone about this. Ceroba just tells everyone that Kanako just fell down. While Spooky's father plants the gun on a homeless war veteran to take the blame. (Give these two a prize for the best parent award.)

"AND THAT SAID, PARENT TRIES TO FIX THEIR MISTAKES… EVEN IF THAT MEANS HURTING OTHER CHILDREN IN THE PROCESS…"

This comparison was about how Ceroba tries to find a pure soul to try to fix Kanako. While Spooky's father creates GL Labs to find a way to bring his daughter back.

And the part about hurting children is about how Ceroba tried to kill Clover. Meanwhile, Spooky's father and everything about the "Doll Project". In short, the "Doll Project" was a project trying to use dolls as containers to tether the spirits back to the earth. Many spirits were children who died. And let's just say that they weren't treated well by the lab staff... "When they act out, it's necessary to inflict pressure on the husk inhabited by the spirit. Don't forget that these dolls are not real people." - GL LABS ID 1210. And it's kind of implied that one of the children's spirits was killed by the staff. Because in the Hooked Doll's death scene, when you die to her, there's text saying, "A 'wicked nasty' child was thrown into a pit. No food, light, or water was ever given to it." and you find a pit in the area where you find the Hooked Doll. So it implies that the spirit inside the Hooked Doll was killed by the staff to be used as a spirit in the project. And Spooky's father, being the director of the project, also gets the blame for letting his staff do this.

"AND THAT SAID, PARENT HAS A DEAD PARTNER WHO HAS A DEATH WISH THAT IS IGNORED BY THE ALIVE PARTNER."

This comparison was about how Ceroba's husband, Chujin, is dead. While Spooky's father's wife, Monica, is dead.

The death wish part is about how Chujin didn't want Kanako to be involved in his work. While Monica wanted her husband to just let their daughter rest. "I'm still going to try to save our daughter. I know it's not what you wanted, but I've already gone too far." -Spooky's father.

And it's kind of funny how Ceroba and Spooky's father only respect the parts that don't involve their children. Like Ceroba follows with Chujin's wish to finish his work. While Spooky's father respects Monica's wishes and let's her rest. "Although it was difficult, I've respected your wishes and let you rest." -Spooky's father.

And another thing is that you visit their graves in the games. And they are located in garden areas.

"AND BOTH OF YOU ARE ALIVE, EVEN THOUGH YOU TWO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. AND BOTH OF YOU WERE STUCK IN BUILDINGS THAT YOU GIRLS COULDN'T LEAVE."

This comparison was about how Kanako was kept alive by being transformed into an Amalgamate. And how Spooky was bought back has a ghost.

And the part about them being trapped in a building is about how Kanako was trapped in the True Lab. While Spooky's spirit is tethered to the mansion itself, so she can't leave.

"AND BOTH OF YOUR DADS DID EXPERIMENTS WITH CHILDREN SOULS."

This comparison was about how Chujin did experiments with Integrity soul. While Spooky's father being the director of the "Doll Project".

Another comparison that I made is that in Spooky's story mode, you find a GL Labs facility in room 120. And later in the game, you find another GL Labs facility deeper underground in room 610, which has its power out, so you need to find the generator to leave this facility. Which is kind of like Undertale. You find a lab, that later in the game you find out that has another lab under it, and the power goes out, making you go find the generator to leave that second lab.

And in the first lab, you get attacked by a monster that comes through a hole that they made. And both of these monsters were tecnically developed by scientists.

While in the second lab, you get ambushed by the creatures living around there when you turn the power back on to leave.

When I first made this comparison in my head, I just thought, "Huh. That's funny." But the more time I spent thinking, the more I realized that there's a lot more comparison between the Ketsukane family and Spooky's family… And I don't know if I'm stretching these comparisons or not...

Anyway. Have this drawings that I made of Spooky and Kanako cosplaying as each other. And the Amalgametes haging out with some of the creatues of Spooky's.

#undertale yellow #uty #uty kanako #uty ceroba #uty chujin #ut amalgamates

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bitternest · 11 months

Text

/rubs eyes it's seven am who gets up at 7am

People who get dinged repeatedly about Tumblr shutting down apparently.

Christ on a bike. Okay, long post inbound. On Tumblr's fate, enshittification and navigating the post-web2.0 world.

So I've been meaning to make a post like this for a while now, but because tech is literally my job I... haven't.

First off, Tumblr isn't being shut down. It's being put on legacy support. Maybe one day it will be shut down, but Automattic seems to have the costs dialed in and don't seem to want to nuke it. Yay.

This day was always going to come for one simple reason - social media websites are fundamentally impossible to fund. The cost of that much image and video hosting and bandwidth is not scalable without passing that cost over to the user. In most cases, this is done by making the user the product. But this is non-sustainable. As Tumblr discovered, as Twitter is discovering and as Google Has Ordained, that social media will inevitably be censored and restricted at the whim of the people actually paying - advertisers. And then your users stop caring. Some sites get around this by also robbing you of your dopamine production as well as your privacy - i.e. getting you engaged with their Algorithm.

So, enough with the reasoning, what can you do about this. Well, you can try the next big thing. For many people, that's bluesky. I don't know about you, but I don't think highly of Twitter 2.0 - from the dude who couldn't make Twitter profitable the first time around. And to be clear, its sole goal is to be profitable. It's a corporation. That's... it's purpose. It's purpose is to extract wealth.

For me, the only two vaguely viable options are cohost and the fediverse. Cohost because haha palette-swapped Tumblr but also because the core ideas the founders had are neat and resonate with me.

And the fediverse because that's the only technologically viable way forward for what we've come to expect social networks to be. It is a network in the real sense, an interconnected sprawl of self-hosted servers that individuals or communities are responsible for and the best way to deal with the costs of social media - distributing them. Mastodon is the most famous service in this space, but there are others. Explaining the fediverse outside of "a network of social networks" is beyond the scope of this post and is a real issue with adoption because, no, it's not necessarily easy.

But now we get to the real crux of my post:

The resilient things aren't easy. If you want to build and participate in something lasting, you need to do some hard things. Sometimes that's learning what the fuck @[email protected] is supposed to mean. Sometimes it's learning how to read an RSS feed. For artists it can mean learning to set up your own website, with zero code and for free even! (sorry @varethane, i'll get the post up eventually) For tech people it means finding an IRC (what, you think Slack is gonna survive its own enshittification?).

Frequently, it's learning how to back up your posts. Because no matter the site, the day will come when hosting 20 billion jpegs overtakes the cash flow of shiny rainbow crabs.

It is a requirement of the post-web2.0 world that you become more tech-savvy. As we tire of corporate horseshit, we must become more capable of forging our own way. If you want to stay connected, you need to learn how to make and maintain those connections, both social and technological.

And to not end this post on a somber and self-important note, that mastodon id isn't me - I never joined because no server ever appealed to me. If anyone's got suggestions I'm listening. I'm bitternest on cohost as well. Mutuals can DM me for my Discord.

Miss me with those bluesky invites tho

#tumblr #cohost #bluesky #mastodon #fediverse #tumblr shutting down

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rollinouttahere-writes · 10 months

Note

Now that it’s confirmed that Kid is yandere for Lucky I now think it is HILARIOUS to assume that Kid went after Shanks for the simple reason that he too also likes Lucky and Kid wants to weed out the competition and he thought “The bigger the better! She’ll totally like me if she sees how strong I am and how well I can protect her!! No one will wanna go near her!!!” Completely underestimating how delusional/down bad ALL of them are for her.

But if anyone ask Kid why he’s going after Shanks he’ll tell em “It’s for the glory!!! I want the title!!!” And Killers in the background like, “Ya Kid… Whatever you say Kid! Everyone TOTALLY believes that one Kid!” while making faces at Heat and Wire.

Killer every time Kid opens his mouth and starts on some elaborate lie/rant as to why he’s going after Shanks:

Lucky lets it happen cause the problem will eventually take care of itself if it goes down gladiator ring style.

Killer and the rest of the crew have to endure listening to him make up excuses for every interaction between them and the Straw Hats. It's not for Lucky, he definitely just wants to eliminate them that's it! Same for Shanks!

That aside, I'm going to use this as an opportunity to talk more about Lucky and Kid's relationship because I want to.

Fun fact, their connection was established in chapter one of Lucky Break, but I'm not sure anyone noticed it. In the prologue, it's explicitly stated that Lucky was holding her backpack when she fell into the One Piece world. In chapter one, there is no mention of it. This wasn't a fuck up on my part, this was intentional.

When she is trying not to drown, she lets go of the backpack and it floats away. Eventually, someone on the Punk Victoria finds it and decides to grab it because there might be something interesting in it, and there was.

In the backpack are the following: a cellphone, a flashlight, a wallet, a snack bar, and some face masks and gloves.

Kid can't figure out what the cellphone and flashlight are supposed to be, and is very frustrated by this. Examining the wallet reveals some weird money and cards he doesn't recognize, but the most important thing in it is the ID. He first lays eyes on the picture, and he burns the face into his memory. If anyone can explain what the weird shit is that he found, it's going to be this woman.

He always has her ID on him on the off chance they run into each other, everything else is kept safe on the ship. Because he has Lucky's ID, he is one of the very few people outside of the Straw Hats that knows her real name.

Kid is the only yandere that was obsessed before he met her. He was so hung up on finding her that by the time they did meet, he fell hard and fast.

The first time he sees Lucky in person, it takes a minute because the scar throws him off, but when he takes out the ID to compare and says her name and she reacts to it? It's all over. He needs her on his ship now, and he won't take no for an answer. He's waited too long to get an explanation on what those weird things are he found. Lucky is definitely frightened by his rough demeanor, but she's hopeful that she'll be let go after explaining what the things he found were.

I'm sure none of y'all need me to tell you that's not what happens. Kid may have some answers, however confusing, but the obsession isn't gone. He still wants to keep her.

On the scale I mentioned previously when discussing Kaku, Kid is all the way over on the 'OH GOD NO' side. He's unfriendly, unnecessarily cruel, and is one of the few yanderes that would be willing to hurt Lucky if it meant keeping her. It's not his first option by any means, but it isn't off the table either and he lets her know that. Yet he's somehow surprised when she's afraid of him.

He can be nice in his own ways, but he's bad at it. If he sees Lucky shivering, he'll throw his coat at her while yelling at her to 'stop shivering it looks pathetic'.

While he would say that he doesn't care if she likes him or not so long as he has her, he's lying. If she genuinely never grew fond of him it would bother him deeply.

#lucky break #eustass kid #rebeccawinters

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the-insomniac-emporium · 18 days

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SWORDTEMBER '24, DAY 3: SENTIENT

Item ID: PE-2403 Item Name: Cursed Sword Category: A-4 Origin Point: Unknown Owner: Unknown Description: A large blade, roughly 100cm in length, with a slight curve to the sharpened edge. The handle is approximately 20cm long, with carved wood and leather straps around the tang. Biomechanical growth covers the spine of the sword, stretching over the flat at spots, a muddled red-purple in color. Attempts were made to collect samples, but the sword emitted a high-pitched screeching until the intern lost consciousness. It’s unclear where the sound came from, as at the time the sword did not have a mouth (it has since grown one, which it uses frequently). Although the weapon shows signs of sentience, it is impossible to measure the intelligence or determine the specifications at this time, due to the FPA’s lack of on-hand equipment. Several workers have filed complaints (see supplementary files PE-2403-■■ through PE-2403-■■) due to being “observed” by the sword’s eye(s). Cataloger’s Notes: Regardless of whether or not any officials believe in the possibility of “curses”, I feel this sword is doomed to end up getting passed back and forth between dock workers before eventually disappearing altogether. Perhaps it will get dumped in the woods, perhaps it will be given false records and donated to a charity auction, or maybe someone will just pass it on to their least favorite witless cousin. Either way, I fear the poor thing may never overcome its reputation. Can’t say I’ll miss it too much. Probably. It’s a surprisingly good conversationalist, when it wants to be.

-----

Dealing with living items tends to be… complicated. Lots of paperwork, usually needing to be filled out at least a few weeks prior to shipping, and even then there was a chance it would get flagged for further inspection upon landing on Katal. Things only get more complex for items that only meet partial criteria for being considered “alive”. Such as the sword currently staring Cynthia down from across her office. Yes, staring. Something it is, evidently, capable of doing.

“Swords aren’t supposed to have eyes, you know,” she says, sparing it a single glance. Despite the lack of brow, it manages to look almost forlorn. Quite the odd disposition for a weapon. But it’s been stuck in her office for close to a week now, with no signs of getting moved, and she can only assume it is unused to simply resting endlessly. Truthfully, she knows almost nothing about it.

Unlike the majority of items that pass through her office, the sword (which she has nicknamed Isaac) was not technically confiscated. Rather, it was simply found. Left behind, in between a few boxes, without any documentation. That certainly leant to the immediate rumors involving a curse. Clearly, folks said, someone was desperate to be rid of the blade. Cynthia still wasn’t sure why the thing caused everyone such distress.

“What am I to do with you, poor little Isaac?” She muses, then takes a long sip from her tea (another blend from Naomi, naturally). The sword blinks at her. Once. Twice. Even opens up a second eye to watch her. Then the air is filled with a soft humming, low and soothing, before the flesh along the blade’s spine shifts and splits open. It would be horrifying, if Cynthia’s job hadn’t given her a high tolerance for the absurd.

“AM. I. ISAAC?” Ah. Well. Now, that was something she hadn’t anticipated. Always hard to tell how intelligent these sorts of things are; hard to tell what kind of intelligence, too. What kind of computer lives within this creation? Mechanical, or flesh and blood, like her own brain?... Questions that will never get answered. At least she can answer Isaac’s.

“That’s what I call you, but it doesn’t have to be your name. I certainly can’t make it your name, not even on your official paperwork,” Cynthia explains with a reassuring tone. There’s no way she can put any of this on Isaac’s official record- too many unknown details, all pointing towards the poor thing getting locked away somewhere far worse than her office.

“ISAAC. HMM. A GOOD NAME, CYNTHIA DELABAUNTE. I CONSIDER IT… A GIFT,” Isaac answers. Something about its voice sends a shudder down her spine, yet she feels no ill will from it. At most, a sense of loneliness.

“I’m glad, Isaac, but I must ask a very, very important question… what do you want? What fate do you yearn for? I’m afraid my job may decide for you, but I can certainly influence it,” she says, slowly, softly, in between sips of her tea. By the Ancients, she can hardly wait to tell Naomi about this, even if she knows she’ll be crying by the time she explains what it is Isaac wants most:

“ADVENTURE.”

#this one was fun #rbswordtember #swordtember #swordtember 2024 #not as long as yesterday's I think but sshhhhhhhh #cynthia intentionally fucks with the records in an attempt to help people #or in this case to help a sword #girl knows what she's doing by calling it cursed #isaac is getting out of storage for sure

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seeingteacupsindragons · 6 months

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So it's 5am and instead of sleeping, I'm thinking about the fact that my birthday is in a week and a half, and I still have no plans or any idea of what to do, and probably everyone thinks I'm a weirdo about this at 31 years old. I kind of am.

So to explain why I'm so Weird about my birthday, let me tell you about the Year No One Came To My Birthday Party.

This sounds like something out a melodramatic teen movie. I know it does! It seems stupid to be upset about it over a decade later. But it encapsulated a lot of issues I've had with my friends at the time, and to be honest? As much as a stupid movie trope it sounds like, it hurt.

I was turning 14. My best friend had told me in advance she would be a couple hours late because she had a school thing. She's the only one excused from this bullshit.

Because an hour and forty-five minutes after people were supposed to show up, none of the like, 5 friends I had to invite had arrived yet, and I was freaking out a lil and kept staring out the window every time I heard a car and had finally retreated to my bedroom to at least be sad in private.

My parents came in and left my room at this point. Dad jokingly asked if I wanted them to go buy me friends. I genuinely do not think he meant that to be hurtful and had no idea what to do about the situation and was trying to alleviate it with humor but. Wrong thing to say! Very wrong thing!

But finally, the phone rang. For me! From one of my friends' houses, said the caller ID. Thank God. She would explain what happened and when she was coming over.

No, actually. It was a different friend, who was over at her house, with a third friend.

What?

She made small talk with me for a bit, while I sat confusedly on the phone trying to figure out how to ask why she was there and not at my house, maybe a ten minute walk away tops.

Huh, she must have forgotten?

Nope!

She asks: How is your party going?

Me: It's not. No one's here.

I remember vividly trying not to cry and sounding very angry because...well I was upset and hurt and trying to actually vocalize words in that state and that was the best I could do.

She was confused. What? What do you mean, the party isn't happening and no one is there?

I don't really remember exactly what I said after that. Basically everyone else who was supposed to be there...was hanging out together, not but not with me. Which would have been fine, but apparently instead of hanging out with me on my birthday, for my birthday party, they decided a phone call from one of them was like. The same? Not hurtful?

She hung up the phone quickly after that.

She did not, however, arrive quickly.

My best friend showed up to the party first.

About forty-five minutes later, the other three finally arrived, by car, at my house to spend my birthday with me.

So like, yeah, forgive me for being Weird about my birthday. Every year I get reminded of this again, and how the one thing I'd like to do is celebrate with people I want to hang out with, and knowing that I cannot expect or rely on that to happen, because I will get hurt.

#personal #Marr's extremely stupid petty emotional trauma #calling this trauma sounds so stupid but like #What even was this?#Having how little you matter to your friends demonstrated like this and how little your friends like want to hang out with you is #it affected me deeply #in conjunction with other stuff from these people #maybe not trauma but like #extremely negative experience #I should probably be over this but I'm not

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thefloatingstone · 1 year

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Sorry, this is about a post from 2020, but in answering an ask about homophobia in Utena you mentioned, “another is a man who is gearing himself up for a hetero marraige because he feels its the proper thing someone in his position should do, until he meets a teenaged boy and it’s like “…..oh fuck…””… are you talking about Mikage? Are you saying the search for eternity he’s researching is a metaphor for hetero marriage, à la Akio’s “the castle is where a prince and princess will live together forever?” (not disagreeing just wanting to make sure I understand correctly, id never thought of it that way before)

or did I miss something in the series lol

Oh oof this was a while ago and I haven't watched the series in a while. But kind of?

More like, Mikage is very emotionally detached from social norms when we first meet him and is completely engrossed with his work. He is constantly referred to as "a human computer".

When he meets Tokiko there is enough symbology to make you realise as he's speaking to her he is very logically and coldly thinking to himself "ah yes. A female. I am supposed to marry one of these and start a family. She seems like a good candidate".

"She is feminine and is doing feminine things. This is seen as attractive by men so this must make her an attractive partner."

"Yes. This is good for what is expected of me. Starting a family with her would be a good move."

While at the same time there is ONE singular moment with the flashing hand that is difficult to catch. In all the previous scenes the flashing hand makes a beeping noise. But in one singular moment during this scene while he and Tokiko are speaking, the camera pans over the other researchers walking to and from the hall and you can HEAR the hand but it's not onscreen until the VERY last second and even then the camera cuts away before you can really figure out what it's pointing at.

The hand is pointing at two men holding hands as they walk.

As Mikage is speaking to Tokiko and gauging if she might be worth pursuing as a partner as a Good Hetero Boy should. But this image shows just as Mikage is saying "They have gathered a good group of boys here who can continue my research".

There is no solid way to interpret this as "Ah THIS is what Mikage means!" but I think it's placement and the way the camera cuts away from it pretty quickly is pretty telling. Especially since the flashing hand in this scene has been showing us Mikage's internal thoughts as he's spending time with Tokiko.

It's possible to see this as his thoughts briefly wandering to the male students in the program, and that doing so automatically, if only for a brief moment, becomes a dreaded GAY THOUGHT. which is why the camera cuts way from it so quickly and back to the room he and Tokiko are sitting in.

AND THEN. FUCKING. (sorry I am rewatching this scene and losing my mind at details I didn't notice before)

FUCKING. AFTER THIS GAY THOUGHT. He is speaking to Tokiko about how the boys are spreading rumours that they are trying to revolutionise the world. But it's clear he has no interest in this and says "It's like they're trying to build a perpetual motion machine" to mock them as ridiculous. BUT THAT'S NOT THE IMPORTANT PART!!!!

THE IMPORTANT PART!!! is AFTER this gay thought, and him dismissing the boys as stupid, the camera does a LOOOOOOONG pan over Tokiko's body as Mikage says

GOD DAMMIT MIKAGE!!!!!

"If I run away fast enough the gay thoughts can't get me!"

I AM GOING INSANE KSDHKSHDKHFDS

Anyway then Tokiko runs when she hears mamiya in the rose garden, Mikage follows her, and the SECOND he lays eyes on mamiya, Tokiko, very WEIRDLY, just leaves the room and walks away without Mikage or Mamiya even acknowledging her.

REAL SUBTLE.

The next scene has Tokiko explaining to Mikage how his research of attaining eternity is what could save Mamiya's life. Even as she's explaining to Mikage and her motivations, he remains emotionally detached from her, as he is only seen in this shot reflected in the mirror. Standing next to her, but not.

But when Tokiko sheds a tear and apologises for this, Mikage says, still reflected in the mirror, "I feel like this is the first time I've seen a person cry."

Basically 'This is the first time I actually feel emotionally responding to someone else's sadness"

Baby's first empathy... because it's about Mamiya.

And then as he moves to leave and return to his research, this time with purpose, Tokiko asks him if he has anyone who is precious to him. That part's not important. The important part is the next sentence she says as Mikage leaves.... having said for the first time he's connected to someone's sadness over the young boy....

And then he throws himself into his research

So that is how Mikage embraced the gay thoughts in his weird academic way. "Well it's not TECHNICALLY gay if I'm just trying to save the life of the woman I have selected to be my partner!" And so the story starts to unravel for him.

TO get back to your question tho, Mikage is actually NOT chasing Eternity when he meets Tokiko. And his hetero relationship with here does not actually symbolise eternity to him at all.

He repeatedly says before he meets Tokiko that he is a "living computer" and describes himself as "a dry man passing dry days". He also says the research isn't going well, but he doesn't actually care.

However, when he is at Tokiko's home he is STILL expressing disinterest in the research when she brings it up. He not only makes fun of the other researchers as I previous said, saying "it's like they're trying to invent a perpetual motion machine". He specifically refers to the research and his fellow researches in a detached way. THEY are trying to create a perpetual motion machine. THEY are trying to attain eternity. He is completely disinterested and detached from the research himself.

In fact he tells Tokiko

He even says "I have done more than what the contract called for." (which incidentally he says directly before it cuts to the boys holding hands)

IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE ISN'T TALKING ABOUT RESEARCH AT ALL HMMMMMMM 🤔🤔🤔

"I was an emotionally detached man. Living on auto-pilot. I find the thing everyone else is doing to be stupid. But I am taking part despite being completely disinterested. The BOYS are extraordinary tho. But anyway, it's stupid to want more. People should be satisfied with the chosen direction they already have. But purely for business reasons."

*Mamiya enters* hey

"Oh shit now see THIS is a different story!!! I have something to live for!!! Doing this thing because of this BOY is now the most important thing in the entire world!!! I am a man possessed!!!!"

*whispers* nothing in this scene is about research.

#Utena #C-Puff answers #btw if you have never watched Utena #WHY YES #THIS *IS* WHAT EVERY EPISODE IS LIKE

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hollow-prior · 13 days

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3 Criminally Underrated Musicals (And why you should listen to them)

1) The Mad Ones

[Image Description: Kerrigan and Lowdermilk's The Mad Ones. It shows an empty road disappearing into the distance under a starry sky. Full ID in alt text. End ID.]

You know that feeling of driving fast down an empty road with the windows down, the wind whipping through your hair? You know that feeling of being able to do anything you want, like the world is right at your fingertips, just waiting for you? You know that feeling of sitting in the middle of the woods with a good friend and thinking about how incredible it is that you live on the same planet at the same time?

Well, this is that feeling.

The Mad Ones is about Sam, who just graduated high school, and her friend Kelly, who died in a car accident before she could graduate. It's about Sam's journey in remembering Kelly and learning to live in the moment without her. It's also about freedom, and expectations, and living life to its fullest.

Also it has the phrase "kidnapped by aliens with enormous genitalia". What's not to love?

Seriously, this is one of my all time favourites and it has a very special place in my heart. I love to listen to it on those rare days when everything seems to be falling into place and it feels like life is actually going somewhere.

From a writing perspective, this is just an incredible masterpiece. The lyrics just stir something in my soul and the friendship between Kelly and Sam is just <33333 (Heart). It deserves so much more love than it gets.

2) The Lightning Thief

[Image Description: The cover of The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical. It shows a blue brick wall with a yellow glowing lightning bolt symbol against it. Full ID in alt text. End ID.]

Okay, so the books are iconic and the movies sucked and the TV show is looking good but everyone's been sleeping on the musical for far too long. I had my doubts at the beginning too, I'll admit it, but honestly this slaps.

Although it isn't an exact one-to-one with the books, the vibes are spot on which is the most important thing anyways.

Percy is a sarcastic little shit, Annabeth is a total smartass, and Grover is... well, the impossible-to-explain awesomeness that is Grover Underwood. As funny as it is, though, there are some moments that just hit you right in the feels. The Tree on the Hill, anyone? My Grand Plan?

Also the Luke reveal gives me literal chills every time. It's so SO well done, much better than any other depiction in my humble opinion.

The whole thing is just an excellent balance of feels and humour and has some truly iconic lines. Case in point:

Percy: "Grover, you're a good friend." Grover: "Awwww. Dude, I'm your only friend."

Mr. D: "Oh, you're alive. I suppose that's good news for you but it means a lot more paperwork for me, so don't expect me to be happy to see you. Of course, being alive is temporary..."

Luke: "The Hermes cabin takes anyone who hasn't been claimed. You know what that means... we're literally the reject cabin. Welcome to the dysfunctional family!"

[Literally just the entirety of Luke's part in Their Sign]

Grover: "You hurt his feelings. Tell the squirrel you're sorry." Percy: "I am not saying sorry to a squirrel." Annabeth: "He's very sorry. Tell the squirrel you're sorry, Percy."

Alright, anyways! This is the Percy Jackson website, right? It's great, just listen to it.

Moving on!

3) 35MM: A Musical Exhibition

[Image Description: The cover of 35MM: A Musical Exhibition. It's a red background with a black, ink-like camera design from above. Full ID in alt text. End ID.]

God, how do I even begin to explain 35MM?

There's so much going on here in the best way possible. It's not a traditional musical, at least not in the way people immediately think of musicals.

The idea behind 35MM is that there's multiple separate songs, each based on a photograph. That said, there are some theories about the level of connection between the songs and if they're even connected at all. Either way, it's absolutely incredible.

The songs all have different themes including babysitting a murder doll, a homicidal prom queen, a vampire love story, the young love car crash tragedy that lives in my heart forever, and many more! If you're a fan of the strange, unusual, and vaguely unsettling, this is the musical for you.

Although the fandom is small, it's incredibly dedicated and there are some truly wonderful animatics on YouTube to check out as well as some theory threads on Tumblr, Reddit, and basically anywhere else if you look hard enough.

I made the mistake of accidentally introducing my English professor to this musical so now you all can be introduced too!

And now some honourable mentions:

Islander

Islander is an acapella musical done entirely by two women. It tells the story of an island nation that was split in half long ago, with two girls (Each from one of the halves) meeting for the first time. It has a super cool Scottish folk song-style of music to it and just an incredible plot.

Jekyll & Hyde

Jekyll & Hyde is the musical adaptation of the famous gothic story. It's intense and dramatic in all the best ways and I Need to Know always sends shivers through me. The voices are incredible and it's just AHHH!! Wonderful! Also Confrontation is a work of art and nobody can tell me otherwise.

36 Questions

36 Questions is kind of unique in that it's a podcast musical, meaning that there's no stage performance. In the most basic terms, it's about two people trying to fix their marriage with the whole '36 questions to help strangers fall in love' type thing. Part of one of the songs, For the Record, was a popular song on TikTok a few years back so it may be somewhat familiar to folks. Either way, worth a listen!

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