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ollieofthebeholder · 5 months

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to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

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Chapter 81: June 2017

[CLICK]

[HEAVY BREATHING, SLIGHT WHIMPER]

[SOUND OF A BODY DRAGGING ITSELF ACROSS A FLOOR]

[WHISPERS BEGIN, OVERLAPPING ONE ANOTHER, JUST LOUD ENOUGH TO BE AUDIBLE, ECHOING SLIGHTLY]

GHOST 1

—hurt me, please don’t hurt me, I won’t tell—

GHOST 2

—have any money, I swear, it all went into—

GHOST 3

—think you’re doing with that, you little—

GHOST 4

—away from me, you crazy witch, I’ll have the law on—

GHOST 5

—Bookmaster, she who holds the Keys—

GHOST 6

—feeling better, I promise I am, you can—

GHOST 7

—hurts, it hurts, please make it stop, I’ll do—

GHOST 8

—me say goodbye to Martin—Martin?

[Louder] Martin! Martin—my God, is that you?

ARCHIVIST

Aah! Wh-what—how—o-oh, God.

GHOST 8

I can’t believe…

Oi! Shut up, you lot, he’s not—just—just give us a minute.

[WHISPERS FALL SILENT]

Bloody hell. Like looking in a mirror…not sure where you got those eyes, though. Don’t think mine are that bright, are they?

ARCHIVIST

Who…what are you?

GHOST 8

[Broken laugh] You’re telling me you don’t recognize your old man?

ARCHIVIST

What?!

KIERAN

Look at you. You’ve…(heh) you’ve grown since I saw you last.

[ARCHIVIST GIVES A SOFT GROAN OF PAIN]

ARCHIVIST

I was seven years old…d-did you think I…was going to shrink?

[KIERAN GIVES A GENUINE LAUGH AT THAT]

KIERAN

I see you got my temper as well as my face. That must make your mother happy.

ARCHIVIST

Explains why she…hates me so much.

KIERAN

She doesn’t hate you.

ARCHIVIST

How would you know? You were—nngh—never there.

KIERAN

Are you—you’re bleeding. You’re hurt.

ARCHIVIST

[Through gritted teeth] Brilliant deduction, Sherlock.

KIERAN

Did they do this to you?

…

I’ll kill them. By God, I don’t know how, but I’ll kill them for this.

ARCHIVIST

Don’t pretend to c-care to justify—

[HISS OF PAIN, A COUPLE OF RAGGED BREATHS]

If you want to kill them…f-fine. Fine. Just don’t pretend it’s on my account.

KIERAN

What…Martin.

Of course I care. What makes you think I don’t?

ARCHIVIST

What do you think? You left.

KIERAN

For work. I was—you’re, you’re right, I was never there, not like I should have been, but it was because I was working.

ARCHIVIST

Mum—[gasps] Mum t-told me you…weren’t coming back.

KIERAN

[Deep breath] I won’t deny I…said some things I regret. But I didn’t mean them. I was coming back.

I asked your grandfather to make sure you knew you weren’t why I left early. Didn’t he?

ARCHIVIST

…

Well…yeah, he did, but…I, I always assumed…he was just trying to buck me up.

I mean, I f-figured if, if you really c-cared about me, you…wouldn’t have left me with…her.

KIERAN

Martin. Son, I…

Jesus, that’s bad. Let me see it.

…

Ah. Aye, I probably should’ve expected that.

ARCHIVIST

I-it’s…it’s not that bad.

KIERAN

Not that bad?! You look like a Halloween decoration!

ARCHIVIST

T-trust me, I’ve had worse. (heh) Kind of sucks that—that it’s my…dominant hand, but…I’ll live. I think.

If…if I can g-get out of here, I can…there, there must be a hospital nearby. I just…[deep breath] I d-dont have the…energy.

KIERAN

That tends to be a side effect of major blood loss.

ARCHIVIST

[Faint laugh] I think that’s…the least of my problems right now, actually.

I was…already tired. Used too much of…m-myself in there. If I…had the strength…

KIERAN

[Anguished] What do you need? I—damn it, Martin, I haven’t been able to do anything for you. Tell me—

Oh, fuck.

ARCHIVIST

[Calmly] Okay, that’s…probably not good.

KIERAN

Don’t you dare die on me, you hear me, boyo? I love you, but—

ARCHIVIST

[With a sudden burst of energy] You don’t get to say that. Not yet.

KIERAN

[Sighs] My temper, all right. And every ounce of stubbornness from both sides.

Here, if I can…I can help you. I can—

Okay, maybe I can’t rip up a pillowcase and tie that hand up for you. Wouldn’t trust that bedding anyway. She bathes more often than he does, but I still don’t know what’s on those…

Tell me what to do. Tell me how to help.

ARCHIVIST

I…

Tell me what happened.

KIERAN

What?

[FAINT GROAN FROM THE ARCHIVIST]

[FABRIC RUSTLES, THE BED CREAKS FAINTLY AS THE ARCHIVIST LEANS AGAINST IT]

ARCHIVIST

I’m…it’s, it’s a thing I’m…becoming. It’s…a long story. But when people—when they t-tell me their, things that have happened, their…(heh) their deepest, darkest secrets…I, they kind of…fuel me.

Tell me…why you left. How you…got here.

You’re, you’re dead. I didn’t—

[Realizes] F-fuck! Fuck, he—he was right. You—you were in the Book.

KIERAN

You knew about that?

ARCHIVIST

Aunt M-Mary…showed all three of us. The Book, I mean. To, to scare us into line.

Gerry…Gerry told me that…he thought you m-might have…been in it. But I didn’t…

KIERAN

Gerry?

Wait—not the Gerard those two are always going on about?

ARCHIVIST

Yeah. Gerard Keay. We…we call him Gerry.

What—how did you…

KIERAN

It’s not a nice story.

And I’m not sure—you don’t need to know that. You don’t need to…

ARCHIVIST

Hate Mum?

KIERAN

I didn’t say that.

ARCHIVIST

You didn’t have to.

[A PAUSE, BROKEN BY THE ARCHIVIST’S RAGGED BREATHING]

I work for the Magnus Institute. Taking statements is…kind of what we do. I’m…in the Archives and…I have, the-there are things I can do. Not…nice things. Not really.

KIERAN

…Will it really help you?

ARCHIVIST

Yeah. Fear…I sort of…eat it. That’s a bit of an understatement, but…so-something like that.

And…it might…connect us. Dunno. Never…never taken a statement from a ghost before. But…

Sometimes I dream about them. The, the statements. The live ones, anyway.

Do you…still dream?

KIERAN

I don’t quite know if it’s properly dreaming.

But I remember. Sometimes. When I’m not…fully here.

ARCHIVIST

M-maybe if…you remember…I’ll be there next time. Watching.

KIERAN

I don’t want that. Not for you.

…

But I’m not letting you die, either.

So. Where do you want me to start?

ARCHIVIST

At…at the beginning. I guess.

[Deep breath] Statement of…Kieran Blackwood, regarding his life and death. Statement taken direct from subject, twenty-fifth July, 2017. Recording by Martin Blackwood, Archivist, the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

KIERAN (Statement)

I didn’t know what I wanted as a kid, except that I wanted to be important.

My birthday was—is, I suppose—the second of June, and every year my parents would tell the story, tossing the parts back and forth like a well-rehearsed script until I could practically recite the lines myself—how Mum had tried to ignore the contractions so she and Da could enjoy the procession and the festivities, how it had finally got so bad that they tried to leave their spot watching and barely made it through the crowd, how no taxis were available, how Da tried to carry her himself but didn’t know where he was going because they were only visiting London for the coronation. How I was born right there on the street. Da always laughed and said I was so impatient to see the new queen myself that I couldn’t wait even another hour. I always hated that story, not because it was embarrassing but because it wasn’t really about me. It was about them, and about the coronation. I told Da once that if I’d been able to pick when I was born I’d have picked a day that nothing else was happening so that I was what people would remember, but he just laughed.

I don’t think he got it.

Once I started school, I went out for everything I could, trying to find something I would be the best at and make a name for myself. None of it really stuck. Looking back, I had bought into the idea that if I wasn’t a prodigy and immediately good at something, I never would be—or at least, that I would never be great. Of course everyone eventually improved with practice, but I rather had it in my head that I’d never reach the top if I didn’t start off halfway up the hill. So I would try something for a week or two, then abandon it as soon as I got my first critique. The only thing I was decent at, not even good, but had some talent with, was swimming—and even then it wasn’t necessarily speed or form. I wasn’t winning races or anything. But I could last longer than anyone in my class—even the teacher. Not just floating, either. I could swim for ages and not get tired.

I had a bit of skill with rowing, too, but the problem was that I was bigger and stronger than most of my mates, so in the end I wound up the coxswain for the school team. We won more often than not, but there was a part of me that was dissatisfied, no matter how loud Da cheered or how proudly Mum displayed the ribbons on the walls. I mean, how many famous rowing teams can you name?

I actually wanted to be a politician. I had dreams of being the next Winston Churchill or summat. But I had my heart set on Christ’s College at Cambridge, and my grades weren’t near good enough to get me in without some kind of advantage. And between the fact that Da was a dockworker and I never managed to successfully cover up the Geordie when I talked, I knew I’d never be taken seriously if I didn’t have a really good university degree, so I gave that up. For the first summer after I left school, I worked with Da on the docks.

That’s how I met Mikaele Salesa.

If you work for the Magnus Institute, I’m sure you’ve heard his name, you know what he does. Did, maybe, he might be retired by now, I dunno. Back then, though, he was just starting out. Walked away from some library job, so he told me, assistant to a stuck-up old fool who could afford to indulge a weird hobby. He’d done it with a tidy nest egg, though, and was looking to set up his own business, dealing in antiques. Thought trading by sea was the way to go; it’d be cheaper, after all, and easier to evade customs if need be, although he didn’t say that part out loud. Trouble was, he was a foreigner, in a time when being foreign in England wasn’t the greatest opportunity. And I won’t pretend the sort of lad that hung about docks those days were the most open-minded of fellows.

Me, I never had a problem with them. Partly it was that having wanted to be in politics, where I figured being diplomatic and able to get along with anyone might give me an edge, but partly, well, with my background—not just being in the North, near the docks, where people expected you to be slow and stupid, but also the fact that Mum was from Belfast originally—I had a bit of sympathy for anyone seen as “other”. So when I got off shift and found him being avoided in the local, I sat down next to him and bought him a pint.

He wasn’t much older than I was, maybe ten years at best, and since he’d been born during the second World War, he had some of the same experiences I did about his birthday being overshadowed by historic events. I was fascinated by the stories I told. He was intrigued when I mentioned what skills I’d picked up, said that being able to row if we were becalmed or swim if we capsized were good things for a sailor to know. And after I told off one of my da’s mates for saying something racist, he offered me a job on his crew. Told me he needed a first mate, and if I could help him find a good boat, the post was mine.

We found her, all right, and since it was me doing the talking, we got a good rate on her too. Signed on a crew for the first voyage, provisioned her up, and the Demeter was ready to set sail.

For the first few years, it was…exactly what I’d expected. Finding artifacts, buying them, selling them to rich idiots with more money than sense. The pay was decent, definitely better than I’d have got anywhere else—a kid with no experience, I’d expected to hire on as a seaman, nothing more, and certainly not as first mate—but for me it was about the clout. See, Mikaele—he was Captain Salesa, or just Captain, in front of the crew, but in private he told me to keep calling him Mikaele—tended to treat the crew the way the old sailors did: you signed on for a voyage, you got paid off, and then he’d sign on a whole new crew when he was ready to ship out again. I think it was a way to keep anyone from really knowing what he was doing with some of those artifacts. But I was his partner, so I stayed on. And since I was the only one who’d ever sailed more than one voyage in a row with him, the men in the pubs thought I had something special.

It was what I’d wanted, so I ran with it.

They were just ordinary objects back then, nothing special—well, maybe except for the fact that some of them probably shouldn’t have left the country, if you catch my drift. But one day, maybe eight or nine years after I met him, I came to talk to him about something and found him staring at a sack full of Morgan silver dollars. I knew how rare those were, but after a moment, he looked up at me with the most serious expression I’d ever seen on the man and told me not to touch them, or to let anyone else on the crew near them. If he sold them, he promised, he’d explain everything, but until then it wasn’t safe.

I don’t know what I thought. Maybe that they were radioactive or something? But when we got back to England about six months later, after he’d sold everything and paid off the crew, he asked me to come up to his rooms and discuss “the truth”. That night he laid out everything.

I…I assume from what you said that you know about the Fourteen. That was the first I’d ever heard of them. Mikaele told me the silver dollars he’d been sold belonged to the one called the Slaughter, and that he’d been lucky to be rid of them without it sticking…but it looked like we might have a new avenue of sales. Swore me to secrecy on that front, but promised that if I kept the crew from getting too involved in the…special artifacts, he’d do right by me.

He never let me handle those objects. Said he cared too much about my safety to put me through that. I thought he was just being dramatic until he told me some about what had happened to the other people who’d worked for Jurgen Leitner, and how he’d sworn he would never be that careless with the lives of people who depended on him. Eventually, we worked it out so I handled the men and he handled the purchasing and…acquiring, and that worked well. I got good at spotting the men who’d been touched by the sorts of things that made those objects, too, and would refuse to sign them on. It was a good way to protect the artifacts, or so I thought.

It must’ve been fourteen years later that I met Liliana Koskiewicz. I remember her because she seemed so out of place with the other people that were picking over the cargo, but fit in better with the cargo itself—she looked like a Gibson girl frozen in time. Turned out she was studying archeology at Oxford—there, I bet you didn’t know that about your mum—and had come to see the cargo because she’d heard rumors Mikaele had something that was in her field of study. He had, but it was “special” cargo, so he’d already sold it. I felt bad for her, so I offered to buy her dinner as a consolation prize, and for a wonder, she accepted.

It was a whirlwind romance, which I know must come as a bit of a shock to you, but I tell you I fell head over heels for that woman the moment I met her, and she swore it was the same. Mikaele was a bit disappointed at first, it seemed to me, but after a bit he encouraged it. Said the more connections you had, the safer you were from…certain things. I was willing to take any excuse to keep courting her, and just before we set sail, I asked her to marry me. She said she’d think about it and let me know when I got back.

We were gone nine months that go-round, and when I went to her da’s farm to see her after we made port and sold off the last of the cargo, the first thing she said to me was that she accepted. She wanted a spring wedding, and Mikaele would’ve delayed sailing for it, but I talked her into a late December wedding instead on the grounds that I’d be more likely to be home for our anniversary that way.

If I’m honest, the only reason I went through with it was because of what Mikaele said about needing connections to fight back against the Fourteen. After all, I’d had nine months to think about it too, and I didn’t know her that well. But, well, I reckoned we’d get to know each other well enough, and if it didn’t work out great, at least I wouldn’t be home that much. I bought her a little house, near enough that she could go visit her da when I was out to sea but far enough that we were independent, and I made sure she had everything she might need before we set to sea again.

We’d been married two years when she told me she was pregnant. She…she wanted me to stay, but Mikaele needed me. I was still chasing that sense of being important, so I went. Promised I’d be back before you were born, but…well, you were early. We were in Malta when Alastair called—long distance and all—to tell me Lily’d been taken to hospital and it wasn’t looking good. Mikaele bought me a plane ticket and told me to get home to my family. Before I left, he gave me a talisman, some little thing made of bone and silver. He told me he didn’t think it was one of those, but that it had a bit of power in it and might…make a difference.

We—we almost lost both of you. You were a breech, and when I got there, it turned out the umbilical cord had got wrapped around your neck. Between that and the fact that you were so early they weren’t sure your lungs had developed all the way, they weren’t sure you were going to make it. And Lily…they had to do a C-section on you in the end, and she had a bad reaction to the anesthesia or summat like that. She was in a coma and they didn’t think she was going to ever come out of it.

I looked at the thing Mikaele had given me. There was a notch in it, and I thought if I…maybe it would help you both. So I snapped it in half. Put one side on your incubator and the other tucked under Lily’s pillow and hoped.

You recovered, obviously. Both of you. You were actually fine less than four hours later, and I got to hold you for the first time…I’d, I’d never felt anything like that. I was thirty-five years old and it was like I was living for the first time. Lily took a bit longer, but she eventually came round, and all was well, or so I thought.

Lily never completely recovered. It was gradual, so her da didn’t notice and neither did she—or at least she said she didn’t—but, well, I went out again when you were six months old, soon as the winter storms had passed, like always, and when I got back I could see she not only wasn’t better, she was…getting worse. At the time, I put it down to the fact that you were cutting teeth, and you were prone to ear infections back then too, so you cried unless you were being held most of the time. Your grandfather was a godsend, but he had the farm to take care of, and so most of it fell on Lily. I took over while I was home, but…well, I had to go back out again eventually.

That’s when we started fighting. She wanted me to give up sailing and get a job closer to home. I argued we needed the money—now more than ever, between you getting bigger every day and her getting sicker every week. She said if she was so sick, why wasn’t I there to help her? Round and round we went, and it always ended the same, with her going to bed early with a headache and me stomping out the door and going down the pub.

And through it all, there you were. Staring up at me with those big green eyes of yours—they weren’t so bright back then, but they were always so full of love and wonder and trust. I’d have done anything for you.

Except stay.

The final straw came just after the new year when you were seven. Mikaele had suggested we all, as a family, go out on the water and watch the fireworks on the shore to welcome in 1996. You were…so excited. It was all you’d been talking about for a week, getting to see the Demeter and see what I did for a living and finally meet “Uncle Kay”—that’s what you called him, you had trouble with “Mikaele”. And then, just as we were getting ready to go, Lily said she wasn’t feeling well. I was all set to get her settled on the couch or in bed and offer to spend the night on the boat so we wouldn’t disturb her when she told you to hang up your coat and go make her a cup of tea—the oolong, not the bagged kind. I said I’d do it and for you to go wait by the car, but Lily snapped that she’d told you to do it and you needed to learn responsibility.

I wasn’t being funny when I said you had my temper. I blew up on her, said more than a few things I’d been holding back longer than I knew. I accused her of faking her symptoms for sympathy, or to punish the rest of us, or to manipulate us—hell, I didn’t know why, and I didn’t care. Told her she could be as miserable as she wanted but she had no right to make the rest of us miserable too. She gave as good as she got, saying I’d never loved her, I didn’t have any sympathy for her, I obviously hadn’t meant it when I said “in sickness and in health”, on and on and on. We wound up shouting at one another, and then I saw you standing in the doorway with her cup of tea and tears in your eyes, and I made myself stop. I told you we could go, but you just very quietly said no, thank you, that you would stay and take care of your mother, but for me to tell Uncle Kay you said hello.

I didn’t go to the ship that night. I went over to Alastair’s, and I must’ve ranted at him for an hour. He just sat there and listened—you know what he was like—and at the end of it, suggested I take a short break away from Lily, that things might look better after we’d both had a rest. And I agreed. At first I was going to…I don’t know, stay in town for a bit maybe…but Mikaele got a line on something that, if it panned out, would have let us retire for life after the next voyage, and there was a calm spell, so we got a crew together sharpish and sailed out.

It didn’t. Pan out, that is—someone beat us to it, we never did find out who. And of course the winter storms came back with a vengeance, so we wound up in Gibraltar for six weeks waiting for an opportunity to sail again. During that time, I talked things over with Mikaele, and he agreed with Alastair that a break wouldn’t be a bad thing.

I also talked to him about Lily’s illness. I’d never really mentioned it to him; there was a sort of silent sense that anything that happened on land—well, except you—stayed there, and vice versa. But I laid it all out for him, every symptom and surge, everything that had happened back to your birth. He listened with a curious sort of look on his face, and then he asked the question I’d never thought about. He asked what happened to the talisman he’d given me. I explained what I’d done, and he nodded, said I’d done exactly what I was supposed to, but he wanted to know what had happened after that.

It wasn’t until…later that I found out the answer. Lily found the half I’d tucked under her pillow, recognized it was broken, and…I don’t know. Maybe she’d heard something of the Fourteen before. Her da worked for the Institute himself, you know, so he might have given her a bit of warning. Anyway, she asked the nurses if they’d seen the other half, and they eventually found it and gave it to her.

From what Mikaele told me, what he’d eventually learned or figured out—I never did ask how—was that it was meant to separate and spare two lives. It wasn’t…exactly one use only, but it had an odd sort of catch to it. You weren’t meant to keep it, and once you’d used it, you were supposed to bury the halves together in the earth, where they would…reform? I don’t know. It was all a bit bizarre to me. Obviously Lily hadn’t done that, but…well, we’ll get there.

Anyway, we were out to sea for eighteen months that go-round. I felt bad about missing your birthday that year—I wrote you a letter, sent you a gift, but I don’t know if you ever got it—and worse about missing Christmas, but we’d done well enough by the end of it that I could have retired, and I was considering it. I told Mikaele when we pulled into port that I was going to give it one last go talking to Lily, see if we could reconcile, because I did still love her, just not the same way I had at the beginning. And I never wanted to leave you.

Obviously, you know that when I went back to Devon, there was someone else in the house I’d bought for Lily, and they told me they’d paid cash for it from a lady who’d taken her son to London. I thought that seemed a bit odd, but at the same time, I was hoping there was a specialist she was seeing regularly and she was doing better, so I got her address and headed down. I was looking forward to seeing both of you, so much.

Somehow, she knew I was coming. There was a note on her door addressed to me when I got into town, and when I opened it, it had an address and said she’d be there all afternoon. I assumed the family who’d bought the house had called her, so I went to where it said. Turned out to be a shop—a place called Pinhole Books. The door was unlocked, so I went in.

And Lily was waiting for me. Pretty as a picture, sweet as sugar. With an antique razor in one hand and a cane in the other.

I won’t go into details, but I will say she didn’t do it alone. There was another woman, old enough to be her mother, holding her steady and coaching her through it. Everything went black, and for a while I thought that was it.

If you know about the Book, you know what she did after that. She used to summon me from time to time. Talk to me, taunt me. Tell me what she was up to. That’s how I found out what she’d done with the talisman. She’d figured out how to join it back together, and thought it would protect her from sickness, but…that wasn’t its purpose. And because she tried to keep it, instead of give it away, it was corrupting her. I begged her to get rid of it, and eventually she finally admitted that she’d already destroyed it, after she met Roger, and it hadn’t helped. Mary—who I assumed was the woman who helped her kill me—had ideas that would help her, she said, but she wouldn’t really tell me what they were. Sometimes she’d summon me and just…leave me there. It hurt, and she knew it hurt, and she said she wanted me to feel a little of what she was feeling.

And no matter how much I pleaded, she wouldn’t let me see you.

The last time I saw her was eight years after she killed me, which I only know because I told her fifty looked good on her and I thought she was going to kill me again when she told me, very sharply, that she’d only just turned forty. She looked closer to sixty, but, well, you don’t need me to tell you that. She recovered fast, though, and told me that the next time we spoke, I’d never know how old she was. She had found a way to stay young and beautiful forever, and, she said, when the Bookmaster took the lead, I would know everything. Then she wished me luck, said she would see me soon, and dismissed me.

I can’t tell from looking at you how long it’s been since then, but I reckon that didn’t work out so well for her.

ARCHIVIST

And how are you…here? I thought the Book got burned.

KIERAN

It did. I think.

I don’t know too much about how all this works, but as near as I can tell, all of us who were in those pages—the ones who weren’t summoned, anyway, since I think your Gerard was involved, from what I’ve heard those two say—were set free when it burned, but not all the way. We’re loose in the world again, but we can’t go very far from the Bookmasters.

ARCHIVIST

The Bookmasters?

KIERAN

Those two bastards in the other room. Don’t ask me why, I just…knew that’s what they were when I saw them.

ARCHIVIST

It…it makes sense. I think.

…

Twelve years.

KIERAN

Eh?

ARCHIVIST

Since she—it’s been twenty years since she killed you. She tried to do…whatever it was, I still don’t know…twelve years ago.

And you’re right. It didn’t work. That was when she started needing round-the-clock care, couldn’t leave the house except to see her doctors, the whole nine yards. I dropped out of school and…well, that’s when I went to work for the Institute. Roger got fired around the same time—he had early onset dementia, it was just starting to get bad about then—and Melanie couldn’t fake being an adult like I could back then.

KIERAN

I wish you hadn’t felt like you had to do that.

ARCHIVIST

Me, too, but…I think I needed to be there. Eventually.

KIERAN

Twenty years…so you’re twenty-eight then? No, twenty-nine.

ARCHIVIST

I will be in August. If I live that long. If the world doesn’t end.

KIERAN

[Fiercely] You’re not dying.

ARCHIVIST

Yes, sir.

[More seriously] I’m okay. That…thank you. For, for giving me the statement. It…helped. A lot.

KIERAN

Good. Now you can get that hand—

…Oh.

Blimey, how long was I talking?

ARCHIVIST

Not nearly that long.

Yeah, that’s, um, probably not a good sign, but…[sighs] you know what, at this point, I don’t really have time to worry about it.

KIERAN

What’s your next move, then?

ARCHIVIST

I need to get back to London. Hopefully without the Van Helsings in there sending me back in pieces, or calling Gerry—or Jon.

KIERAN

…Okay, you told me who Gerry is, and Lily mentioned Roger’s girl Melanie, but who’s Jon?

ARCHIVIST

My b—

…

Um…he’s my…boyfriend.

KIERAN

(heh) Does Roger approve?

ARCHIVIST

He died five years ago.

But…you know, I think he would have liked him.

I think you’d like him. If you met him.

…

Maybe you’ll get the chance.

KIERAN

I doubt that, boyo.

ARCHIVIST

I’ll come back. When, when I figure out how to set you all free.

I will figure it out. What’s the good of working for the embodiment of fearful knowledge if I can’t occasionally learn something to my advantage?

[KIERAN LAUGHS. AFTER A MOMENT, THE ARCHIVIST JOINS IN]

KIERAN

Aye, maybe there’s something to that.

Let me rally the others. We can distract the Bookmasters, maybe keep them busy for a while, so you can get away. Do you—no, that window’s a bit small—ah, no offense.

ARCHIVIST

None taken. But believe me, I’ve forced my way through much smaller spaces than that.

…Thank you.

KIERAN

I’m just glad I can help.

And I’m glad to know that I finally became something important after all.

ARCHIVIST

What’s that?

KIERAN

Martin Blackwood’s father.

ARCHIVIST

…

You know…it’s a good thing Mum is the way she is.

KIERAN

Eh? Why is that?

ARCHIVIST

It long ago disabused me of the notion that parents have to love and be proud of their kids no matter what.

Otherwise I might not have believed you meant that.

KIERAN

Martin.

[FAINT FABRIC RUSTLES]

There has not been one single moment since the nurse put you in my arms that I have not been proud of you.

I love you, son.

ARCHIVIST

…

I love you, too, Papa.

[CLICK]

#ollie writes fanfic #tma fanfic #to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest)#martin blackwood #death #unreality #injury #bleeding #arguments #mention of murder #implied/referenced emotional abuse #the formatting is better on AO3 #or my website

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changbeens · 2 years

Note

Hi Bee!!! Can I get 🎵🎧🤭 and 💗 for Binnie

hi chrissy!

🎵 recommend a song based on your vibe/blog

i recommend because it'll be faster... by from20

🎧 put one of my kpop playlists on shuffle and share the first song that plays

its dkb sober [remix]

🤭 tell you about a bias that came as a surprise

i did already answer this one but i'll say it again. i only have one bias that took me by surprise and its ravn. i thought i biased keonhee but i was playing a game of "without thinking name your bias in this group" and when oneus was mentioned i said ravn. then when i told my mum she was like "duh, i could have told you ravn was your bias"

💗 send w/ a group, and i’ll tell you my favorite thing(s) about one of the members

okay so since predebut i have thought he has the most amazing voice, its so unique and the way he changes tones depending on the song and the emotion he's trying to get across is just amazing. then of course there's his writer/producer skills. 3racha are all so beyond talented i cant even put it into words, there's nothing they cant do. obviously i dont know binnie personally but he seems to be quite a genuine person who wears his heart on his sleeve. he puts up with a lot from the rest of the group and he could easily end all of them at the same time with one punch but he doesnt, thats some restraint right there. also he's hot i guess

kpop asks!

#thanks for playing!

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eddieydewr · 2 months

Note

I'm not trying to be a negative nancy but i do genuinely worry that the noah hate train won't calm down by the time s5 comes out. I just worry about noah and his family as well as the s5 experience for us fans (i hope that doesn't sound selfish). I want this to be enjoyable for EVERYONE but with ppl being so hateful it's hard, especially for noah, i mean no wonder he purged his socials. Just by looking at the comments on kalemyname's post, it gives a clear vision of how ppl just want to be hateful and act like sheep. Now don't get me wrong there were some things noah did that kinda make me raise an eyebrow at first and things i still dont quite understand, but this situation is complex and i personally feel it's pretty clear noah isn't who the internet is trying to make him out to be.

Of course, ppl are talking bad about other cast members now for being friends with noah or not speaking up about the topic (as if they will unfriend someone they have PERSONALLY known for 10 years just because randoms on the internet can't get a grip) meanwhile others act like other cast members can't do any wrong like you said in another post (no hate to the other cast members at all). I just worry about everything this will affect (maybe im getting ahead of myself but yeah). It's good to see more positive comments and it's an unfortunate fact that ppl will hate no matter what (like how ppl have recently hated on Millie for her accent, or back then bc she was a talkative kid who said "cringy" things) but i still worry. I hope this ask doesn't stress you out or anything i just needed to get this out i suppose. And I apologize if you've got 50 asks like this before.

if season 5 is released in october or november next year and the hate train continues then i’m sorry but those people need professional help. i doubt the i/p war is going to last that long. people on both sides are running out of money and patience. and there’s an election in the US later this year. pro palis will get bored eventually, they’ll move on after the war ends as they always do every time there’s a conflict between israel and palestine. so the noise around noah will die down, it has to. it’s only logical. people can’t hold on to this performative anger for… what, 3 years?

will noah haters continue to exist? yes, just like before every time he did a “controversy” and they’ll be like ummmm did y’all forget the time he said this and did that whenever there’s a pop crave tweet about him 🙄 but when the cast like millie and finn are consistent with mentioning noah, if noah comes back to social media to promote ST, when we get to see teasers and trailers and we’re all excited about new content and will byers!!! the stupidity will die down, save a few genuine haters with nothing better to do.

also, the kalemyname drama makes no sense because there’s a video with noah on feb 21 and most of the comments were nice but the latest one, peoole were foaming at the mouth?? i just don’t get it. but we can say the hate train isn’t exactly linear.

i do get similar asks like this but it’s ok! let it out <3 look at my prev ask and see what noah’s mum said: he’s ok, just taking a break from social media but is happy to be back on set :) also it’s not selfish wanting to enjoy the experience without pro palis screaming to boycott the show. people in real life don’t behave like this. but if, god forbid, people are still insane then i’d mute words and block accounts? idk. curate your internet experience! 💚

#i’m sorry if this isn’t any help :/ i can’t predict the future so i’m unable to tell you when things get better lol #but please don’t stress yourself too much #beth answers

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theshelbyclan · 4 years

Text

Childhood Sweethearts

Summary: You and Finn had been together for a while now and it was all going great. The only problem was, all of the brothers didn’t know yet

A/N: Requested by a lovely anon: hey can i request a Finnxreader where Finn got her pregnant and her brothers come in the Garrison with guns and all and are like "We dont care who you. That you're a shelby, but you got her pregnant and you're gonna marry her" and than Finn has to explain to his bros that he is kinda dating her for a year and some fluff please??? I got so many requests for my baby Finn and I’m ignoring how they changed him in season 5. Hope you like it!

Words: 2605

***

When you’d first met Finn, he’d been boxing. You had only been fourteen at the time and he was only thirteen, but he was a Shelby, so there were expectations. “Call yourself a Shelby?” the owner had kept on shouting out at him. And you could see Finn was really trying, but he just wasn’t that type of Shelby.

Your brothers were at the gym as well, which is why you were there. Women weren’t allowed, no exceptions. Well, except little sisters. You were let in when you came to pick them up and the youngest Shelby sister couldn’t be kept away, but apart from that, no women allowed.

And then it’d happened. Arthur went feral, everyone went crazy and Finn reacted like no one else could. And you watched him, calmly, but with interest. Afterwards, you handed him a towel. He suddenly looked young, not at all like he had seemed while fighting, and he’d said: “No women allowed.” You had smirked and replied, “Then go.” *** And so the two of you had become friends. First it had just been talking on the streets about brothers and life in general. Because if there was one thing the two of you had in common, it was the burden of having too many older brothers. While the Shelby’s had big plans with young Finn, yours seemed to want to keep you ‘sweet and innocent’ for as long as possible. Neither fit the pair of you really.

“What would you do?” Finn asked you one day, “You know, if you could do anything.” “Hmm…” you thought out loud, while trying to balance on some forgotten piece of scrap, “I could open a salon, or make ice-cream all day, or I could fly a hot-air balloon to Paris!” You were always the one making up stories and Finn would just sit there and listen. He was definitely the quiet one. In his world of chaos and violence, he could do with a bit of imagining. “I could buy a camel!” you laughed out loud, “Go to Egypt dressed as a man and raid one of the pyramids. I’d become the richest woman alive and no one would ever even know that it was all stolen, including my fake name.”

Finn grinned, “You’d probably get away with it too…” “Or, I could steal some expensive jewels and seduce the man guarding them,” you spun around a lantern post feigning seducing it, “I’d kiss him when he’d catch me and tell him I’ll split the profit with him. I’d say to meet me in Paris at midnight, but never show up. Then, years later, after I’ve come back from Mexico…” “Mexico?” Finn called out, enjoying this story way too much. “Mexico, obviously, where I’ve been hiding?” you replied with a face like it was obvious, “After Mexico, I’d go back to find this man and tell him to follow me. He would, of course, and I’d tell him to meet me in London. Then, and this is the best bit, I go back to Paris to get the jewels and blame it on him!” Finn grabbed your hand and spun you around, both laughing, “Y/N? Ever thought of becoming a Peaky Blinder?” “That!” you joked, “If I could do anything, I’d take over the Peaky Blinders and…” “Move to Mexico,” he finished. “Move to Mexico,” you said softly, because the two of you were suddenly no longer dancing. Standing closely, noses almost touching, you were, for the first time, lost for words. “Ask me,” Finn practically whispered. You raised your eyebrows slightly in question. “Ask me, Y/N,” he repeated, “What I would do if I could do anything.”

You indulged, “What would you do, Finn?” “I’d marry you.” “But we’re only fourteen,” you blushed a little. He was completely serious however. The two of you were always laughing and playing, but his eyes were no longer sparkling with childhood joy. Something else had settled in there, “Then I’ll wait, for now.” After that one evening, the two of you became inseparable. ***

Sneaking out at night was easy, especially after the two of you just watched how Ada did it. As you got older, your games of truth or dare became more and more dangerous. Late at night, you met in dangerous places and together, you grew up at midnight. Making love under the bridge, kissing quickly in the Garrison when no saw and holding hands under the table, it was all still a game to you. But the love, that was real, and it only kept on growing. How no one found out about it was a miracle and a tragedy at the same time. You’d grown up with five older brothers and a part of you now wondered if they even acknowledged your existence. Surely, you two were not that subtle? And besides, you had the horrible habit of talking too much and had often divulged a little, but they never picked up on it. Guess they were too busy with their own lives, which was just as well, because loving a Shelby was not a preferable situation. But sneaking off to secret rendezvous was easy, concealing love was also manageable, but hiding a belly with a baby inside of it? That was going to be hard. “They are literally going to kill me, Finn,” you sobbed. Why did you even sob? You never cried before. “Don’t worry,” he put his arms around you and spoke soft and lovingly, “They’ll kill me, not you.”

“That is not fucking helpful!” “I know,” he looked down, “Sorry…” The two of you were sitting in a closed Garrison. Luckily, the pub was never truly closed for a Shelby. Here you could find some peace at least and no one there to disturb you. “A baby though, Y/N,” you could see the sparkle in his eyes, “Our little baby!” You sighed deeply, “I don’t think you understand how serious this is.” “I don’t think you understand how wonderful this is!” “Finn…” “No,” he interrupted you, which he never ever did, “We made that.We did. Like, I loved you so much and you put up with me for so long and then this happened. Can you imagine? That’s amazing, isn’t it?” You couldn’t help but smile at his awkwardness and excitement, “Someone did tell you where babies come from, right?” He smiled broadly and kissed you suddenly. “Finn?” you asked, a little unsure, “I think my mum knows I’m pregnant.” “How would she know?” “She knows these things,” you shrugged, “She had seven kids.” Finn frowned, “What do we do?” “Well, if she knows, we’ll find out soon enough.” You hadn’t even finished your sentence properly, when a loud noise came from the door of the Garrison and five big men walked in. They didn’t look pleased. “On your feet, boy!” one of them bellowed. Finn had no idea what to do, so he decided it would be best to get up.

“This him?” one of your brothers now turned to you.

You nodded solemnly, “This is indeed Finn Shelby.” Another asked, “This the one that knocked you up?”

“That’s a charming way of putting it…” you protested. “Well, how do you want us to put it?” “You could ask me if I’m alright?” you suggested, “Or: is this the boy of your dreams? Or: is this the man who will take you to Mexico? Or…” “Alright, we get the fucking idea, Y/N,” your eldest brother interrupted you, “No need to get poetic about it.” From the corner of your eye, you could see Finn had sat back down again. While you and your brothers continued arguing, he started downing whiskey. Did you blame him? Not really, what else was there for him to do but wait really.

And suddenly one of your brothers turned away from you and pointed at Finn, “Right, now I know you’re a Shelby and we know how you do things!” “Do things?” Finn genuinely didn’t understand. “You’ll not be taken our sister to some fucking doctor.” “Finn wouldn’t,” you quickly said, “He’s not like that.” Finn still didn’t understand though. “You don’t even know him,” your brother said, “Just because he fucked you…” “Oi!” Finn called out suddenly, lifting one hand to his cap. But your brothers were big and annoyed, so they picked Finn up like it was nothing and simply placed him outside the pub. If you weren’t pregnant and miserable, you could’ve died of laughter.

“Okay, listen…” you started, but they didn’t let you finish. Through the door they started shouting at Finn about taking responsibility and pretty soon you decided it was no use trying to get them to listen. So you rolled your eyes, sat back and waited for the storm to be over. And then there were more voices coming from outside the pub and you sat up to try and get a look at them. An angry voice seemed to be reprimanding Finn and a calm, low voice kept on interrupting the other. Without warning, the three oldest Shelby brothers barged in. Now, this was all you needed: more brothers in the room. There were eight now, all yelling, and slowly, you could see Finn moving back in through the door. You two exchanged glances, admitting defeat and decided to just wait.

“I don’t give a fuck who you people are…” one of your brothers was now actually screaming. “Let’s not play games, eh?” Tommy replied calmly, “You know exactly who we are.” “He will do the fucking right thing!” “And he will!” “That little rat may have thought he could just have his way with her and not carry the consequences...” “WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU CALLING A RAT…” Finn crept down next to you and leaned over to whisper in your ear, “Should we tell them?” “How?” you mouthed back, “They’re kind of busy right now, wouldn’t you think?” “Let’s wait,” Finn suggested. So, the two of you got back to watching eight grown men bicker like small children.

“This was never her idea!” “Wasn’t Finn’s either, he doesn’t even know how to spell his own name, isn’t that right, Arthur!” “She’s nineteen! She’s just a child!” “She might be your sister, but she’s a grown woman.” “Okay, why the fuck are we talking about Y/N? Heis responsible and he is going to marry her.” “I agree,” Tommy suddenly said. So, Finn decided this was the best time to try again, “Actually, if you’d all listen for a second…” “I think you’ve done enough, mate,” one of your loudest brothers interrupted quickly. “But, me and Y/N…” Then Arthur was the one to push his little brother back in his seat, “Shut up Finn and let us handle this. Full of frustration, the youngest Shelby sat back down, only to stand back up again. He picked up another bottle of whiskey and started pacing the room a little. “Stay off the whiskey, Finn!” one of his brothers scolded, “Here, eat this,” and he handed him an apple. With eyes wide, he stared at the sudden piece of fruit in his hand and exclaimed, “I’m not a fucking child anymore, John.” But his brother just winked and said, “Apparently,” and went back to arguing. So Finn walked and bit his nails and paced and pondered and decided there was nothing left to do, but eat the apple and jump in the Cut.And you couldn’t help yourself. A small giggle escaped you mouth and soon after you could no longer contain yourself and burst out laughing. “What’s the matter with you?” Finn hissed. “Don’t know…” you hiccupped, “but by the time they’ve finished I’ve already given birth probably!” And out of nowhere, all the brothers fell silent. Tommy, as always, took the word, “Right, this is how we’ve decided to do it…” “You’vedecided?” you repeated angrily. “Shut up, Y/N, you’re in enough trouble as it is,” one of your brothers bit.

But the great Thomas Shelby held up a hand and silenced the room with a gesture, “We’ve decided that the two of you are getting married. Now, you might hardly now each other, but the damage is done, eh?” “Actually…” “Finn, shut up, I’m still talking. Now, don’t worry Y/N, Finn will take good care of you. And Finn, you do the deed, you pay the consequences. The marriage is in a fortnight. Congratulations.” The room went quiet again and all eyes were on the two of you. You could now actually taste blood and realised you’d been biting your lip to keep from laughing a little too hard. Finn looked like he was either going to explode or just disappear. Almost inaudible, he muttered, “In a fortnight…” “Yes,” his brother confirmed, “Gives you a chance to get to know your bride.” “I’VE KNOWN HER FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS, TOM”

So he did explode. “EVER SINCE SHE WAS FOURTEEN AND I WAS THIRTEEN, WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER.” “Finn, babe,” you put a hand on his arm, “Calm down.” He turned to you, his eyes still hilariously wide, “Why the fuck do they never listen? Pinch me or something… can you even see me? Am I real? Am I a ghost?” So you did as any woman would and slapped him in the face, “Stop the dramatics. You’re here.” “Ask her,” one of his brothers urged him, “Ask her properly.” Finn sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair, “I did ask her ABOUT FOUR YEARS AGO.” You nodded wisely, “He did.” “Well, what did she say?”

“That we were too young?” ‘Too fucking right!” one of your brothers shouted out. Within seconds, eight men were once again yelling without listening to each other, and the Garrison became chaos for a second time.

“Okay, wait!” you held up both hands and much to your surprise, everyone stopped talking. Guess there really was power in being pregnant, “This is good news, right? We both want to get married! Yay?” And then they all started again! New subjects for arguments were found in the fact that you’d been sneaking out, that they let their brother be with you, where the wedding would be and who with, and there seemed to be no end to it. So, Finn put the apple in his pocket and with a sudden certainty to it, grabbed you by the hand and marched you out the door of the Garrison. There, in the filthy streets of Small Heath, he kissed you long and deep. “How about it then?” he asked. You smiled back at this wonderful boy and said, “No, let me do it. You already got to do it when we were kids.” “Okay,” he agreed at once. “Finn, if you could do anything, what would you do?” “I’d marry you in a fortnight!” he almost shouted out. And you deeply into his eyes, wondering how you’d even managed to find such a soft, sweet and still strong man, and finally said, “Will you marry me?” “Yes,” he said almost before you could finish the question. After another long, long kiss he got this sudden twinkle in his eyes and suggested, “Let’s go home.” “Home?” you laughed. “Yeah,” he pointed to the Garrison, “They’re all busy in there, right? The house is empty…” You looked down at your bulging stomach and joked, “Damage’s already done.”

Hand in hand you walked through the streets, feeling like the king and queen of Birmingham.

“Mexico then?” a small smile was tugging at his mouth now too. You nodded, feeling more in love than ever, “Mexico.”

*** Masterlist

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losersclublol · 3 years

Text

kinda weird and odly specific (fem) stozier bff head cannons !!!

stan has only ever let her bare feet out around richie

they quote the twins from like that one snl sketch. wait lemme specify. this one and they quote all the john mulany ones. like “we’re so close we finish eachother..” “off”. “his bootys real” “but my personality is fake”

they do those smule duets together and it’s a hot fucking mess but kinda good???

stupid. fucking. tiktoks.

so many

richie insists that they only do like one but they’re both on a friendship high and end up making like 20 and they’re all messy yet funny and good

a few of them blew up

cause why wouldn’t they. like you take richie, an actual comedian, and stan, an actual comedian who just won’t get paid for it. and you get comedic genius with the right amount of fruityness

ew no but matching pjs at sleepovers omg

sleepovers would either be like “we need sleep but you’re at my house” or “almost breaking something whilst having an amazing time and oh wow how did that get in your hair”

stan does richies hair at least once a month and she keeps telling richie to just do her hair like this and it’ll look this good all the time and richie keeps saying she will but noooooooo she doesn’t cause she’s a little dirt girl who has to look messy

they make the weirdest but best snacks together (i used to dip cabbage in lemonade, it was bomb)

they make little cooking videos/vlogs but it’s just stan looking tired and doing a good job, richie getting lost and confused and both of them losing everything they put down

“anyway now we need the spatula to mix it all up… where is the spatula” “how tf would i know dumbass you had it last” “okay don’t be mean stancy but seriously where is it i just had it” “bro i don’t know just retrace your steps or something idk… wait no where tf is it it’s not here” “see what i mean???” *confused looking* “omg where is it” “it’s gonna burn !” “no ! we made that together ! where is it !!!” *even more confused and stressed looking* “I DONT KNOW “ *harmonised screaming* “wait no no no it’s fine i’ll just turn the heat off for now” “oh thank god you’ve saved us,,, wait nvm no need i found it !” “where was it?” “oh the counter right next to us” “omg”

they’re the only ones who can see each others like ugly cackle only for bff snorty loud yet so silent laugh (please tell me you know what one i’m talking about)

the amount of times they’ve gotten in trouble for laughing so much omg

one time richie made them “hold hands” with their feet

she got punched but she got a picture so it’s worth it

their contact photos for eachother are the both best and worst pictures they have of the other

no other losers can see them

stozier eyes only

they definitely had one of those joint bff instagram accounts when they were like 12

omg musically

they had a shared account on musically too and it is the best thing ever made

HOLY SHIT ITS A GOLD MINE

“honey you already know i’m the slomo queen” and it’s just them doing some stupid ass spin with glasses on or something

stan has glasses

reading kinda glasses not like richies blind ass ones

omg no stan being farsighted is so funny to me tho i’ve thought about it before

like she can see birds like a mile away but walks into every fucking pole ever

she just can’t see them (how?? idk)

they share clothes

obviously

but when one of them comes over to the others house for a sleepover they just immediately change into whatever clothes is there

shared wardrobe

y’know my dad once put on my sisters jeans and they fit

sorry back on topic

i hate to be the one to say it but

they were each other’s first kiss and you can not tell me they weren’t

it’s up to you how it happens but it did

stans scared of spiders and richie takes advantage of that as much as possible (within reason she’s not an asshole)

she used the like spider on your face filter r to scare stan and it worked

she horror screams every time

THIS MASSIVE FUCKING SPIDER JUST CRAWLED OVER ME AND ITS LOST WTF

no no no fuck this no no

FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK OFF NO

kms

i meant “i’m” but like yeah sure

anyways i’m sleeping downstairs tonight

they make up insane stories about stans bat mitzvah bc they were the only losers there

they shoot the straw wrappers at each other no doubt

have been mistaken for a couple too many times to count

they hold hands when they’re out and about (cause stan feels anxious and needs constant reassurance that she’s not gonna be left alone, also cause bffs)

they’ve got like ten of the bff necklaces and bracelets

like those wee bacon and egg ones that have the words “best” and “friends” on it

(stan got the bacon one)

they’re both lactose intolerant but have ice cream dates

whenever they have like picnics stan always brings perfectly cut fruit and nice sandwiches and food and stuff and richie brings all the snacks that they both like

stans like the mum who makes the cute little bentos

soup making omg

they’ve 100% cosplayed like heather chandler and veronica and like oh god i don’t wanna say it but bakudeku HDHSJXBHXHAJSNSN

i’m sorry but it’s funny

it was unintentional at first tho

richie was doing the deku voice for a tiktok and stan was telling her to stfu and people ran with it

WHY IS THAT SO FUNNYHXVSHXB BHSKSMSM N JEJNS

they’ve definitely ugly cried together

well of course

but it still had to be said

and like cuddles awwwwww

also they genuinely love eachother

whether it’s romantic or platonic they are like soulmates to me

well to me all the losers are soulmates but stozier are just the ultimate best friends

okay y’know what i’m gonna end this here

also i have no clue how to do the read more things apologies

oh and if anyone has any tips on how to do it in the mobile that would be so appreciated !!!

#the losers club #fem losers club #losers club #stan uris #stanley uris #richie tozier #it movie #it #it fandom #it headcannons #it hcs #the losers club hc’s #the losers club headcannons #stozier

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tillthelandslide · 4 years

Text

Age Gap

Hi everyone! I really hope everyone reading enjoys this. It’s my first ever Henry Cavill fan fic so I am a little apprehensive about posting it. I throughly enjoyed writing it so please be sure to give me feedback and any and all ideas for future Henry Cavill fan fics would be appreciated.

Thank you to @toomanystoriessolittletime for reading over this for me, you’re amazing.

Hope you enjoy - L

You and Henry had been dating for over a year now. Things were great, he was the kindest, most caring and loving person you had ever met. He was so inspiring and passionate about his work and those around him. He was genuinely interested in everyone's lives and he truly cared for the people in his life, including you. He was the most beautiful person both inside and out and you were so lucky to have him in your life.

Henry had just posted a very cute picture of the both of you on his Instagram.

henrycavill:

Liked by freyaallan, anyachalotra, joeybateyofficial and 1,122,800 others

henrycavill horse riding and training for The Witcher 2 @your_username never a dull moment with you by my side

View all 21,669 comments

your_username always my love ❤️ cant wait for everyone to see how amazing you were

↳ henrycavill i love you

↳ your_username i love you too. Kinda mad at you, making me look all unprofessional, kissing my clients 😂

↳ henrycavill hope I’m the only client you kiss

↳ joeybateyofficial I’m the only client you kiss @henrycavill 😂

anyachalotra was a pleasure working with you again @your_username. Does he always ride topless or?? 😂

↳ your_username it was so fun! cant wait for everyone to see you in action 🤷🏼‍♀️not complaining though 😂

fan1 omg this is so cute

fan2 wow Henry really loves her. Dont blame him 😍

fan3 wait she worked on the Witcher?? what did she even do, wtf??

↳ fan4 shock horror! 😳y/n acutally has a job! don’t be silly, she’s so hard working, leave her be 🙄

↳ your_username @fan4 thank you lovely 💜

The majority of his fans went wild, they were happy for him but very curious who you were, they knew you had been friends with Henry for ages and had always said how beautiful you were and had recently learnt that the two of you were dating after Henry had posted a cute video to his story of Kal kissing you before Henry said "I'm getting cheated on with my own dog" . Infact it was often joked that both you and Henry were the hottest nerds ever (you too were a massive gamer and a huge fan of the Witcher amongst many other fantasy games and films).

However, a few nasty people had to comment about the age gap between the two of you. You were 25 and Henry was 37. But the age gap didn't matter to you or to Henry and the horrible comments about it made you both annoyed and upset.

Today Henry had invited you to bring Kal, his beloved American Akita, along to an interview he had. You agreed because you knew it meant you could spend more of the day with Henry and you throughly enjoyed watching him work.

"Today we are joined by Henry Cavill, known for being Superman, August Walker, Geralt of Rivia and many more. How are you today Henry?" The interviewer said, introducing Henry and smiling at him.

Henry offered a nice smile back before saying "I'm very good thank you, how are you?"

"Good thank you, very excited for this interview. So the trailer for season 2 of the Witcher has just been released and we're all very excited" he said making Henry chuckle.

"I'm excited for everyone to see it" he said. Henry and the interviewer then spoke about the filming of season 2 for a long while. You sat petting Kal who had found comfort in between your legs resting his head on your thighs. You were admiring Henry when the interviewer asked a question about you.

"So we are joined by your lovely girlfriend who is a massive fan of the Witcher games and books, yes?"

"We are indeed" Henry said, winking at you before continuing "she's a even bigger nerd about it than me. She's played the Witcher 1 and 2 twice and has played Wild Hunt, 3 times now I think?" he said glancing at you for reassurance, in which you nodded, making him nod to the interviewer.

"Wow that's impressive" the interviewer said, genuinely impressed.

"Now we have to ask, do the constant criticism about your age gap affect the both of you, or do you just ignore it?" he said referring to you being quite a bit younger than Henry.

"Um, yes and no" he said the gravelly tone of Geralt peaking through a tad. "The age gap isn't a problem in our relationship, we're both adults and we're both fairly mature" he said trying to make light of the situation and making the interview laugh.

"No but seriously I am very happy with y/n. She is the most amazing woman in my life, sorry Mum, she is caring and loving and so talented and passionate. The thing that does get annoying about the comments are the ones saying y/n is using me for my money or for the fame. Because that couldn't be any farther from the truth " he said making you smile (and the interviewer). "Anyone who knows the first thing about y/n knows that she is the most career driven person in the world, just because she doesn't share what she does with the world in the same way I do, doesn't mean she doesn't have a job" he said addressing many rumors that said you don't have a job, which quite frankly made you chuckle.

"And its not as if y/n doesn't talk about her job at all, in fact it's something she loves talking about because she's so passionate about it and she's so good at it" he said.

"She owns her own stables, is that correct?" The interviewer asked reading from a card in his lap, making you smile at how he researched you before this interview (Henry was asked if he was comfortable talking about your relationship, in which he said of course because he often loves talking people's ears off about you).

"Yes she does. But she also works on film and TV sets" Henry said making the interviewer hum.

"Her horses have been used many times in films right?" the interviewer said making Henry nod proudly.

"Zeus who plays Roach in the Witcher is actually one of y/ns horses. She works on TV sets and films, training actors on horses. She helped train all of the actors in the Witcher on their horses, including me. Everyone on set, especially Freya, Anya and Joey, absolutely loved her" he said proudly.

"I'm even more impressed now. And hopefully that puts some of the rumors to bed. It is honestly so lovely to hear the way you speak about her" the interviewer said making Henry gush a little.

"She's lovely, I'm very proud of her" Henry said looking off camera at you, making you blush.

"And she's easy on the eyes too which is a bonus. Think my dog Kal loves her more than me though" he said making you and the interviewer chuckle and making Kal perk up, upon hearing his name.

They wrapped up the interview after talking about season 2 a little more, showing some teaser videos and playing a game of who's most likely to. Henry thanked the interviewer for being so kind, signing some stuff for him before walking to you, you filming him as he did so.

He pet Kal on the head before placing a quick kiss to your lips

"You're too sweet Hen" you said, placing your arms around his waist as his rested around your shoulders.

"Only speaking the truth love. The fans are going to go crazy when they see that interview" he said leaning down to place a proper kiss against your lips, making you sigh against him.

"Hmm, come home with me" he says in his Geralt voice making you chuckle against him and shoving his chest jokingly, making Kal buck his head in between you which made Henry grunt.

"Stop getting jealous" he said rubbing behind Kal's ears making him pant up at him.

"Now who's cheating with his dog?" you said making him chuckle and place his hand in yours.

"Let's go home" he says, placing Kals leash in his other hand, saying goodbye to the people along the way as you were leaving.

You both got into Henry’s car, Kal sitting inbetween you legs again then posted a video to your Instagram feed.

your_username:

Liked by henrycavill, freyaallan and 400,800 more

your_username thank you for letting me and Kal join you for your interview today and thank you for all the wonderful things you said. Your love and support means the world to me Hen ❤️@henrycavill

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henrycavill of course my love, love you more than life itself ❤️

↳ yourusername 🥰 love you too

fan4 soo cute I can’t deal

fan6 the way they are so cute and fluffy on each others posts makes my heart burst. soft henry is the best

↳ yourusername makes my heart burst too. can confirm that not soft henry is pretty good too

↳ fan6 omg you replied, what in the world? also get it sis

↳ henrycavill she does

↳ freyaallan gross. na jk love you both

#henry #henry cavill #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill smut #geralt #geralt smut #harry styles #augustwalker #superman #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill imagines

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bibbawrites · 3 years

Text

Life Is A Highway - Single Dad!Charlie x Owen

THIS IS PART 9 OF THE SINGLE DAD!CHARLIE SERIES, YOU CAN FIND THE OTHER PARTS HERE

Request: none

Word Count: 4397 words

Summary: Part 9 of Single Dad!Charlie, Margaux and Charlie roadtrip to Oklahoma for the JATP streaming party

Warnings: swearing, sexual references pretty sure everyone knows at this point but this does include romantic chowen, remember this is fictional, if you dont like that just dont read :)

A/N: correct me if i’m wrong but i’m pretty sure this is the longest part of this series so far, it got a bit out of control lol set at the end of january when charlie and jeremy joined owen in oklahoma, this is charlie and marguax’s trip there and the day leading up to the streaming party days also in this owen didnt move into the studio apartment, he moved into a slightly larger version of his current apartment :) anyways, hope you enjoy!

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @littlemissaddict @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @headheartbellarke @lovesanimals @bartok-the-magnificent @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1 @fandomxreaders @ifilwtmfc @yagorlemmalyn

“Daddy?” Margaux piped up from her car seat. Charlie glanced in the mirror. They had been in the car for almost 14 hours now, with only a few short stops for lunch and toilet breaks, and it was almost time for them to stop for the night.

“Yeah baby? You hungry?” Charlie questioned, and Margaux nodded.

“A little bit, but can we listen to Julie?” She gave him a small grin, and Charlie smiled, reaching for his phone to bring up the Julie and the Phantoms album, and stop his country music playlist.

“Of course we can. Which song?” He asked.

“Umm.” Margaux trailed off. “Great!”

Charlie chucked to himself, turning the song on and glancing at his daughter every so often as she happily sung along to the song. Margaux was obsessed with Julie and the Phantoms, her favourite character was Alex and she often requested to be dressed in pink just to match him. Charlie was actually quite surprised it had taken her this long to request the album.

The GPS told him to pull off at the next exit if he wanted to stop at the motel he had planned to, so Charlie obeyed, his focus going back onto the driving as Margaux happily belted Stand Tall from her car seat.

No more than 20 minutes later Charlie was pulling into the carpark of a small motel and parking, before turning in his seat to see Margaux.

“We’re gonna stay here tonight, okay? And then drive the rest of the way to Papa’s tomorrow.” He told her, and she peered out of the window.

“A hotel!” Margaux exclaimed excitedly. Charlie chuckled slightly, looking at the run down motel they had stopped at. It was far from the exciting ‘hotel’ Margaux saw it as, but he loved how her childhood innocence could make it seem like the most incredible place she had ever seen.

“Yeah baby. We’ll go in and have a bath and then maybe we’ll go find some food to eat, how does that sound?” He smiled and Margaux nodded.

“Good.” She agreed.

“Okay good, let’s go in then.” Charlie pulled his mask on and reached across to the passengers seat for the bag he had packed their essentials for the night in, and placed it on his back once he climbed out of the car. He walked around the car, opening up Margaux’s door and getting the four year old out of her seat and lifting her into his arms.

“Gotta go talk to the people.” He told her, locking the car and heading into the reception to book one night, letting them know that they would be leaving before the sun rose in the morning.

Once they had the key Charlie and Margaux headed back out into the early evening and found their room, entering it easily. Charlie placed Margaux down once he had shut the door behind them, and the four year old ran over to the window instantly, peering out of it like she did with every place they stayed at.

Charlie smiled, throwing the bag down onto the bed and sitting down, pulling his mask off.

“Do you wanna have a bath before we go get dinner baby?” He questioned.

“No.” Margaux replied simply. Charlie laughed.

“Can I at least change you into some warmer clothes?” He asked, and Margaux thought for a moment before nodding, coming over to her father and letting him change her into the long, fluffy pants and hoodie he had pulled out of the bag, and when she was done, placed a tiny beanie on her head.

Charlie grinned.

“Okay, what do you want for dinner? Anything you want.” He said, pulling her onto his lap, and she snuggled closer, thinking.

“Um...” Margaux trailed off. “Burger King!”

Charlie stood up, shifting Margaux to his hip and putting his mask back on before grabbing the car keys.

“Burger King it is then. Let’s go find some dinner.”

They found a Burger King with no trouble at all, and entered the restaurant, Charlie quickly heading to the counter and ordering, before moving off to the side to wait, while Margaux cuddled into his arms, her head on his shoulder as she watched the workers preparing the food.

“Charlie?” A female voice came from behind them, and Charlie spun around to find a young girl, no older than 16, and who he assumed to be her mother.

“Hi.” He smiled, suddenly very aware of the weight of Margaux on his hip. He really tried to avoid having interactions with fans with her around, he never knew what one of them might share about his daughter, and her safety was his first priority always.

“Oh my gosh it’s really you! Hi! I’m such a big fan of Julie and the Phantoms.” The girl exclaimed, and Charlie grinned.

“Aw thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He said sincerely,

“Oh she loves it. Made the whole family watch it. It’s all she ever talks about.” The girl’s mother chimed in and Charlie chuckled.

“Mum.” The girl groaned slightly, but her mother was undeterred, shifting her attention to the four year old in Charlie’s arms, who had moved her head to continue watching the workers.

“Is this little one yours? I didn’t know you had a child.” The mother asked, and Charlie bit his lip slightly at the question.

“Yeah she is. I don’t like to bring her up much, I prefer to keep her life as private as possible.” Charlie told her and the woman nodded, an understanding smile on her face. As if she knew they were talking about her, Margaux lifted her head off Charlie’s shoulder, turning to look at her dad, before focusing on the two strange faces in front of her.

“Oh you’re such a cutie.” The woman complimented and Margaux grinned, snuggling her head into Charlie’s neck.

“Thank you.” She mumbled, and Charlie grinned. It was a rare sight to see Margaux shy around strangers, the little girl was normally one to be confident. Clearly when she was sleepy it was a different story.

“4341?” The girl behind the counter called and Charlie glanced down at the receipt in his hand, seeing it was his number.

“That’s us, excuse me for a moment.” He said, before walking over to the counter to grab the food.

“You keep this safe baby.” Charlie handed the bag to Margaux who nodded eagerly, clearly excited with the job she had been give.

Charlie turned back to the girl serving, taking the drinks from her and smiling despite the fact she couldn’t see it through his mask.

“Have a lovely evening.” She said, and he nodded.

“You too.” He replied, walking back over to the young fan and her mother.

“We’re gonna head out, but before I go, did you want to take a photo or something?” Charlie questioned, and the girl shook her head.

“No it’s okay, she looks really comfy and I wouldn’t want to disrupt her.” She said, glancing at Margaux who had the bag clutched to her chest and her head back on Charlie’s shoulder.

“Are you sure?” Charlie checked, and the girl nodded.

“Yeah positive, I have the memories. And don’t worry, if I mention meeting you I won’t mention the little one.” She told him, and Charlie breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.” He said, and she smiled.

“No problems at all. Have a good night.” She replied.

“You too, it was lovely meeting you. Both of you.” Charlie said, his tone genuine.

With one last goodbye Charlie and Margaux headed out of the restaurant and back to his car, placing the drinks on the front seat before moving to put Margaux in her car seat.

“Who was that Daddy?” She asked as he buckled her in, placing the bag of food back on her lap so that she could continue her special job.

“Just some friends baby.” He told her. Margaux nodded slightly.

“Okay... Can I have my nuggets now?” She asked, and Charlie chuckled, shutting her door and climbing into the drivers seat.

“As soon as we get back baby.” He promised. “As soon as we get back.”

Charlie was up before the sun the next morning, packing the bag and putting it in the car before taking a still sleeping Margaux and checking out.

He clipped Margaux into her seat gently, trying not to disturb her, and decided to go live for a few minutes before he left the motel while he ate some breakfast quickly, angling the camera so that Margaux couldn’t be seen. And then as he pulled out of the car park he ended live, opting to play music quietly instead.

Margaux slept for hours, and by the time she woke up they were only a couple of hours out of Oklahoma.

“Daddy?” Her voice came from the backseat, and Charlie grinned, looking at her through the mirror.

“Hey! Good morning baby. Did you sleep well?” He said, and Margaux nodded.

“Yeah, I was dreaming that we were in a boat and there was a horsey there and he was really mean but then you told him not to be mean and he said sorry and I got to play with him.” Margaux rambled sleepily, and Charlie smiled softly.

“That sounds really good baby.” He said and Margaux made a noise in response.

“Are we gonna be there soon?” She asked, and Charlie glanced at the GPS.

“About two more hours.” He told her, and Margaux frowned.

“Is that a small time?” She questioned. Charlie chuckled slightly before answering her.

“It’s a little bit long but not much. We’ll be seeing Papa before you know it.”

Just over two hours and one late lunch and toilet break later, Charlie pulled into the parking garage of Owen’s apartment building, using the code that Owen had sent him, and parked in front of Owen’s new car.

“Ready?” He asked, turning in his seat only to find Margaux fast asleep again, her favourite toy penguin clutched in her arms.

He chucked slightly, climbing out of the car and walking around to lift Margaux out of her seat gently, so that he wouldn’t wake her.

He shut the door and locked it, walking over to the stairwell and putting in a different code. He carried her up the stairs and wandered along a hallway until he reached the door of Owen’s apartment, knocking gently.

The door opened revealing Owen, and his eyes lit up when he saw Charlie and Margaux on the other side.

“Hey!” He whispered, and Charlie grinned.

“Hey, missed you.” He replied. Owen pulled them into the apartment.

“I have a room for Maggie, but I want you to see it when she sees it so we’ll put her on my bed for now.” Owen said, dragging Charlie down the hallway to his room, where Charlie placed Margaux down onto the bed, tucking her in and kissing the top of her head gently.

“Sounds good. You can watch her and I’ll go grab the bags and bring them up.” Charlie said once he had stood back up. Owen smiled, glancing down at Margaux before looking back up at Charlie.

“Okay.” He agreed, and Charlie turned to leave the room, but was stopped by Owen’s voice.

“Hey Charlie?” He said, and Charlie turned back.

“Yeah?” He questioned.

Owen stepped closer, placing a soft kiss to Charlie’s cheek.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

An hour later and Margaux was awake again and bouncing off the walls with excitement and energy.

“Can I see it now?” She begged, jumping on the spot in front of Owen, and Charlie regretted letting her have a cup of Fanta with her late lunch.

“Okay, you ready?” Owen agreed, and Margaux cheered. Owen led them to a door off to the side of where his bedroom was, and Charlie smiled at the clearly handmade name plate on the door, with Maggie written in a neat pink cursive.

“Open it, open it!” Margaux begged, grabbing onto Charlie’s leg with excitement, and Owen obeyed, opening the door to reveal a small bedroom, painted a soft pastel pink. There was a white bed in the middle of the room, and fairy lights strung around, and a bookshelf filled with children’s books. And in the corner was a small wooden chest, clearly filled with toys.

“Do you like it?” Owen asked nervously. Margaux’s face lit up and she rushed into the room, instantly jumping on the bed.

“I wanna stay here forever!” She exclaimed, and Charlie grinned, wrapping an arm around Owen.

“I’d say that’s a yes.” He joked, and Owen bit his lip.

“But do you like it?” He asked, eyes full of hope. Charlie nodded.

“I love it. You didn’t have to do this much for her though.” He said softly, glancing around the room as Margaux excitedly explored.

“I wanted to. Remember what you told me in Hawaii? That I’m her parent too and that we’re a little family? Well this is what a parent would do.” Owen shrugged slightly and it took everything in Charlie not to kiss Owen in that moment.

“Thank you.” He whispered instead, and Owen bit his lip, hesitating like he wanted to say something but ultimately decided against it. Eventually he settled on a small smile.

“Any time.”

Later that night Margaux was tucked into her new bed after finally coming down from the excitement and slight sugar high. Charlie and Owen had showered, and had made themselves comfortable in Owen’s bed, Charlie’s head on Owen’s chest as the younger boy flicked through Netflix, trying to find them something to watch.

“This okay?” Owen asked after a moment and Charlie hummed in agreement, not even checking what Owen had decided on, too content with listening to Owen’s heartbeat.

The movie started in the background, but Charlie’s whole focus was on Owen, and how much he had missed being snuggled up to the younger boy, the only scent a mixture of spearmint, body wash and something so uniquely Owen. It was intoxicating.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Owen’s voice snapped him out of his daze, and he shifted slightly.

“Just really fucking missed you, that’s all.” Charlie mumbled, instantly relaxing when Owen’s fingers threaded through his hair.

“It was only a month.” Owen replied, and Charlie sighed.

“I know, but still. I wanna be with you all the time.” He said. Owen took a deep breath.

“About that...” He started. “I tried to tell you this at New Year’s but-”

“Daddy?” Margaux’s voice came, and Owen swore under his breath. Charlie sat up, whatever Owen was going to say would have to wait.

“What’s up baby?” He asked, as Margaux climbed up onto Owen’s bed and into her father’s arms.

“Missed you.” She mumbled, her face pressed into Charlie’s bare chest. “Wanna sleep here.”

“Okay but only for tonight, okay?” Charlie compromised, and Margaux nodded.

“Into bed then.” Charlie instructed, wriggling over to allow Margaux to slide into the bed between him and Owen.

“Sorry O, we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?” Charlie said, and Owen sighed, but nodded nonetheless.

“Sounds good.” He mumbled, flicking the TV off and laying down on Margaux’s other side. Charlie frowned at the sudden darkness, but laid down anyways, reaching across Margaux to grab Owen’s hand, linking their fingers.

“Night O, love you.” He whispered.

“Love you too.” Owen whispered back after a moment. “And love you Maggie.”

“Love you Papa, love you Daddy.” Margaux chimed in.

“Love you baby girl.” Charlie finished, placing a kiss on Margaux’s head as the four year old shifted to grab onto him like a koala. Charlie wrapped an arm around her before snuggling closer to Owen.

This was it, he thought as he drifted off. This was his happy place.

The next day started with making pancakes, before moving into Margaux’s new room to play with some of her toys and get her used to the idea of sleeping in there alone.

Not much later Margaux decided she was hungry, and Charlie and Owen stood up to go chop up some fruit for the little girl.

Charlie trailed behind Owen as they headed into the kitchen, working in silence as they chopped the fruit up.

“I’m ready.” Owen blurted out. Charlie put down the knife and turned to him, confused.

“Huh?” He questioned. Owen took a deep breath.

“Staying with you at Christmas I realised that I’m ready. Ready to give this a shot, and call you my boyfriend, and kiss you whenever I feel like it and not just occasionally with an awkward apology afterwards. I was gonna tell you on New Years Eve but I got interrupted by the countdown, and then I left the next day and I lost the confidence to tell you, so I just didn’t. I didn’t realise it would be a whole month until I saw you again though. And then when I saw you yesterday I thought about telling you, but it felt like the wrong time. And then I tried to tell you last night but Maggie interrupted us and climbed into bed.” Owen paused. “So now I’m telling you, before anyone else can interrupt. I’m ready.”

“You’re sure?” Charlie checked, and Owen nodded.

“There is something I want to add but I’m gonna wait until you agree to be my boyfriend.” He said, and Charlie couldn’t stop the large smile that appeared on his face.

“Owen I’ve wanted to be your boyfriend since we were filming.” He replied, and Owen grinned.

“So that’s a yes then?” He asked.

Charlie stepped forward, crashing his lips against Owen’s. After a moment he pulled away, pressing their foreheads together.

“That’s a massive yes.” He whispered and Owen kissed him again, but pulled away just as Charlie tried to deepen the kiss, causing the older boy to whine.

“Before we get too caught up...” Owen trailed off. “I just want this to stay between us for a while, if that’s okay with you.”

“That’s completely fine.” Charlie agreed, leaning in to kiss Owen once more but Owen pulled back.

“We can tell our families and friends when we’re ready, and I’d rather not tell the fans...” He rambled.

“Owen, I said it’s fine.” Charlie laughed, pulling Owen back in to kiss him again, a gentle peck on his lips. “Although I will warn you, Jeremy and Carolynn kinda already know that I’m in lo- that I liked you, and I’m pretty sure my mum knows too. Oh and Kenny was kinda cryptic in Hawaii, so I think he knows too.”

“My mum and sister know. I kinda had a breakdown one night and exploded the whole thing on them and admitted that I had feelings for you and that you had feelings for me and just told them everything.” Owen admitted. Charlie raised an eyebrow.

“What did they say?” He questioned.

“That they already knew. Luka said it was obvious, and Mum told me that she knew from the minute I met you that I had a crush on you. She said she figured it out after bootcamp. I wish she’d told me, cause I didn’t figure it out til the wrap party for filming.” Owen said, grabbing a bowl and putting the fruit they had already cut into it.

“I figured it out at the aquarium. You know when we spent the whole day holding hands? And my stomach was just constantly in knots. And then that night when you went to bed, you kissed my cheek and it was like it just hit me.” Charlie took the bowl from Owen, and turned to leave the kitchen when Owen spoke again.

“Wait, are we gonna tell Margaux?” Owen questioned, and Charlie stopped, thinking.

“I think we should.” He said after a moment, and Owen nodded.

“Okay.” He agreed. “Let’s do it.”

Trying to figure out how to explain a relationship to a four year old was a difficult thing to do.

“Hey Mags? We have something to tell you.” Charlie started, once they were settled back into her room, the bowl of fruit in her lap. She looked up.

“Yeah?” Charlie took a deep breath.

“Papa and I are dating. Do you know what that means?” He asked. Margaux shook her head.

“No.” She said, eating a piece of apple quietly,

“It means Daddy is my boyfriend, and we like each other very much.” Owen tried to explain.

“Oh, I know that.” Margaux said, and both Owen and Charlie exchanged confused looks.

“How can you know? It only just happened.” Owen questioned.

“But you kissed Daddy at the airport.” Margaux frowned.

“Well, yeah... But we weren’t dating then.” Charlie said. Margaux put the apple back into the bowl and grabbed a piece of banana instead.

“Why?” She asked after a moment.

“Why what?” Charlie questioned.

“Why weren’t you?” She elaborated.

“Um...” Charlie hesitated. “We just hadn’t decided to yet.”

“Okay.” She went silent. “Can I have a boyfriend?”

“Absolutely not.” Charlie said, as Owen cackled with laughter, the serious mood evaporating.

“Why not?” Margaux pouted. “I want a boyfriend too.”

“You’re four!” Charlie exclaimed. Margaux nodded.

“Yeah! I’m a big girl now.” She stated. Charlie shook his head, trying to ignore Owen’s wheezing laughter beside him.

“No boyfriends. Or girlfriends.” Charlie said, and Margaux frowned but accepted the answer. A moment later her eyes lit up again as she looked up at Charlie.

“Are you gonna get married like Mamie and Pépère? And Uncle Jer and Aunty Care?” She questioned, and Owen sobered up quickly.

“Not yet.” He answered, and Charlie stared at him for a few moments, before shaking his head with a smile.

“Maybe one day.” Charlie added. Margaux seemed to like that answer.

“Okay.” She said, grabbing a chunk of watermelon from the bowl.

“Margaux you can’t tell anyone that we’re dating, okay? It’s a secret.” Charlie said seriously, and Margaux grinned, her mouth full of fruit.

“Okay! I’m a good secret keeper.” She mumbled and Charlie smiled.

“You are.” He agreed.

“After my fruit can we watch Julie?” She questioned, and both boys smiled in agreement.

“Of course we can.” Charlie agreed, taking Owen’s hand in his.

His boyfriend’s hand.

Charlie was never going to get tired of that.

Jeremy arrived bright and early the next morning, bringing McDonalds breakfast for all of them.

“Uncle Jeremy!” Margaux squealed, jumping down from her spot on a chair at the bench, while Charlie made himself coffee, and rushing over to greet the third phantom.

“Hey Little Gillespie!” Jeremy replied with just as much excitement, ruffling the four year old’s hair as she clung to his leg. “I missed you.”

“Look how big I got.” Margaux boasted, puffing her chest.

“So much bigger, I almost didn’t recognise you.” Jeremy agreed, and Margaux giggled to herself.

“Daddy says I can’t have a boyfriend.” She informed Jeremy, who laughed.

“I don’t blame him.” He said, heading into the kitchen to place the food on the bench.

“But I want a boyfriend.” Margaux whined, trailing after him.

“Not happening.” Charlie stated, helping her back onto the chair and opening the McDonalds bag.

“So Little Gillespie, if you did get a boyfriend who would it be?” Jeremy asked, taking food from Charlie to place on the bench.

“Hmm...” Margaux paused, her eyes lighting up after a moment. “Tay!”

“Tay as in Taylor Kare?” Charlie questioned and Margaux nodded.

“Yeah!” She giggled. Charlie sighed, dropping his head onto the bench. Jeremy laughed, patting him on the back.

“Or Papa.” Margaux added, a thoughtful look on her face.

“You’re gonna have to fight your dad for that one.” Jeremy joked, and Charlie shook his head, smiling, as he handed Margaux a hashbrown.

“Fight her dad for what?” Owen questioned, entering the room.

“To be your boyfriend.” Jeremy informed him as Owen grabbed one of the cups of orange juice.

“Oh, you told him?” Owen asked, and Charlie’s eyes widened.

“No.” He said softly and Owen choked on his juice.

“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath.

“Wait so you’re actually dating now?” Jeremy asked, eyes flicking between the two of them.

“Shh! Not allowed to tell.” Margaux exclaimed. Owen sighed.

“It’s okay Maggie, he knows now.” He told her. Margaux looked up at Charlie eagerly.

“Did I keep the secret good Daddy?” She questioned. Charlie smiled, placing a gentle kiss on her head.

“You did an amazing job baby.” He agreed.

“So, how long?” Jeremy asked, taking a bite of his bacon and egg McMuffin.

“Yesterday. Although it would have been longer if the stupid New Years countdown didn’t interrupt me telling Charlie that I was ready to give things a shot.” Owen said, picking at the hotcakes he had chosen.

“Wow, Care and I assumed it would happen a lot earlier than that, after how things were in Hawaii.” Jeremy told them, and Owen shook his head.

“It was my fault, I wasn’t ready to commit to doing anything that might ruin our friendship. It wasn’t until after Christmas Eve when we fu...” Owen trailed off, realising what he was about to say probably wasn’t appropriate. “We uh, yeah, that I figured we were already too far gone and that I really didn’t want to wait any longer.”

“And now I know far too much about your s-e-x life.” Jeremy groaned and Margaux squinted at him.

“What does that spell?” She questioned, and Charlie grabbed another hashbrown for her.

“Nothing important baby.” He said quickly, handing her the hashbrown and effectively distracting her.

“Anyways, Jer, you can’t tell anyone. You’re the only one who knows, other than Maggie.” Owen told him seriously and Jeremy nodded.

“You have my word for it. One condition though.” He said, and Charlie and Owen both raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah?”

“Please do not do any gross couple shit around me.” Jeremy sighed. “I do not need to see you two sucking each others faces.”

“Ew.” Margaux mumbled through a mouthful of hashbrown. Charlie and Owen exchanged a look, clearly thinking the same thing.

“We’ll try.” Owen started.

“But we can’t make any promises.” Charlie finished.

Jeremy groaned slightly, his head falling into his hands as Charlie snaked an arm around Owen’s waist.

“It’s gonna be a long weekend, isn’t it?”

#single dad!charlie #single dad!charlie series #single dad!charlie x owen #charlie gillespie #owen patrick joyner #chowen

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daadddysprincessss · 3 years

Text

Bonfire nights

Parings: Jim mason x y/n

Summary: takes place in the past - the first memories you had of jim. Most likely a 2 or 3 part series

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.3k

taglist: @ghostiesbedroom @lovelylangdonx @queencocoakimmie@langdonsinferno @peachesandfern @gold-dragon-slayer @charlottelouise135 @hplotrfan @rosegoldrichie @taryn-just-happened @rocketgirl2410@little-grunge-flowerz @ccodyfern @1-800-bitchcraft @langdonsoceaneyes @sojourne @starwlkers @bellejeunefillesansmerci (hope its okay if i tagged you)

You sat on your favourite rock - close enough to hear the waves crash at the other rocks beneath you - but far enough for the water not to reach you, it was where you first met - Jim.

At the other end of the beach you could hear laughing in the distance, it reminded you of the late nights with Jim and his friends - you would watch them from afar, they always seemed to be laughing and having fun by the bonfire - you were a watcher.

-2 months ago-

You watched and listened to Jim and his friends for what seemed like forever - you wanted to be like them - outgoing, goofy, sporadic- you were neither of those things, they just seemed like a really cool crowd of people. But one night it was all about to change - Jim saw you sitting alone as he slowly walked down the mini trail that lead into the bay-

“Hey - you alright” Jim called out from behind you

You turned your head slightly to see who it was - “yeah im fine” - Jim had messy brown curls, bright ocean eyes you could see from a mile away - and he was always in that jean jacket, it suited him so well. This was your first memory of Jim - of course you saw him at school but you never actually talked to him.

“Wanna come join our fire” jim asked softly as he walked towards you

You turned to face him then immediately looked over at the huge bonfire - “its not really my scene over there” you laughed - you could hear ms popular heathers laugh above them all.

Jim laughed - “its not mine either but its a lot less lonely”

You pulled your jacket tighter to your body - “maybe” you spoke softly - you did have a small crush on Jim, he was kind and sweet (from what you could see).

Jim crouched down beside you - “the offer is always standing love” he smiled as he looked out into the ocean with you.

“Thanks” you smiled - “im y/n” you spoke softly

“Jim - Jim mason” he smiled - god there's that smile. Jim knelt there for a few more minutes then got up walked towards his mini party -

“Bye Jim” you said quietly to yourself

Its been a few days since you’ve seen Jim in the bay of palos - but you would see and hear his mum pacing back and forth yelling at the bay boys (jims friends) for being so damn loud at night, but you had hoped to see him again..

-2 weeks pass by-

You decided to change it up and go out to the bay earlier - you wanted to soak in the sun… for once - today was different, it was quiet and calm, the tide was low, there was not a segal near to hear, but the best part was there was no bay boys, just Jim and his twin sister Medina surfing. Jim and Medina were basically attached at the hip - but they have such different personalities, Jim was a ‘follower’ and Medina had a strong personality, I guess their relationship was unique.

Both of them made surfing look so easy, you could never ! on the best of days you were lucky not to trip over your own 2 feet.

“HEY” Jim yelled from what seemed like the middle of the bay - his hand was waving at you

You had your legs stretched out with a book in your hand - homework of course - for a second you didnt realize Jim was waving at you, “what? Me??!” you yelled back at him

Medina waved her hand to come join them - “I'M STUDYING” you yelled back while holding your book up.

An hour or so went by without any disturbance from the mason twins, it was nice - peaceful. You could help but think of what Jim looked like while out on the ocean, and the texture of his hair - he probably smelt of salt water - his beautiful chocolate curls probably look amazing after being in the water all afternoon.

“Hey sunshine - how've you been” Jims voice boomed from above you while he blocked your sun-

“I've been well - how about yourself mason” you looked up at him - “it been awhile” you laughed.

“Yeah yeah - it's good to be back, but hey - you still owe me” Jim smiled

“Excuse me - owe you what ?” you questioned him, then yourself

“You said maybe to coming to a bonfire and i didnt see you at the last 2 we had, so your coming tonight” jim smiled as he unzipped the top half of his wetsuit

“Tonight? I - im uh busy” you tried to make an excuse - he was a gift sent from god, the way the water droplets fell down his shoulders onto his chest - it made it hard to concentrate

Jim laughed - “i'll come pick you up, lets say 8pm?”

Its like he didn't even give you a choice - “uh - sure, yeah that works”

“Its the blue house yeah?” jim asked as he pointed to the blue-ish white house with no fence

“Yep - thats me” you laughed

“Its a date” Jim smiled as he picked up his board and walked away

“A - date” you whispered to yourself

Within seconds of realizing you were going on a mini date with Jim freaking Mason you stood up and grabbed your belongings and literally ran up the hiking trail - you needed to get ready, to shower, pick out an outfit, hair, makeup - but there just felt like there was not enough time.

When you got into your bedroom you dropped everything on the floor and headed to your dresser -- you picked out a pair of black ripped jeans, and paired it with a pale yellow graphic tee, for shoes you would probably just wear your vans - who cares if they were dirty, they were old anyways. As for your hair you sprayed some dry shampoo at the root and a texture spray throughout - the messy style just fit you perfect.

‘Y/n! - theres a young man at the door for you” you mother called out

“Already?” you spoke quietly to yourself - you quickly grabbed your cell, and a pony… just incase.

It felt like you ran down the stairs but you knew you werent it was just moving so fast - “hi Jim” you smiled when you met him at the bottom

“You look - wow” Jim smiled at you

There it was - that smile, it melted your heart - maybe cause it was the way his eyes smiled with his mouth - or maybe cause he just seem genuinely happy.

“Shall we ?” jim held his hand out for you

Your fingers interlocked his and he quickly pulled you out the front door - “arent we taking this path” you questioned jim as he walked past the short cut down -

“No” he shook his head as he kept walking with you

Something didnt feel right, you have never seen jim take the long before - “jim where are we going”

“Down to the bay - where just gonna take a different path, i dont wanna share you with anyone yet”

“Share me?” you raised a brow

“Yeah - your the dark mysterious girl, and i like that.”

“Jim your freaking me out” your feet stopped in place

“Im sorry - i didnt mean to freak you out - i just wanna get to know you better before my friends rip me away’ his voice cracked

“Oh-” your voice was low - “so your just gonna ditch me with a bunch of random popular girls?”

“Oh god no - medina, my sister will be there. And besides your staying by my side.” Jim smiled

You nodded your head and proceeded walk behind jim - the both of you walked in silence for a moment, you reached the top of the bay -

“y/n”

“Yeah jim” you looked up at him

“I really like you - i kinda always have.” jims eyes locked to yours

#jim mason #jim mason x reader #jim mason x you #jim mason x female reader #cody fern #The Tribes of Palos Verdes #topv #michael langdon #michael langdon x you #michael langdon x reader #ahs #Duncan Shepherd #duncan shepherd blurb #duncan shepherd x you #duncan shepherd x female reader #duncan shepherd fic #michelal x female

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lilnugget-is-here · 2 years

Text

Moving to Forks

January 17, 2005

My mum drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. Though it was January everywhere else, it was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, and the sky was bright blue. I had on my favourite t-shirt—the Monty Python one with the swallows and the coconut that Mum got me two christmases ago. It didn't quite fit anymore, but that didn't matter. I wouldn't be needing t-shirts again soon.

In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington Stat, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains on this insignificant town more than any other place in the United States of America. It was from this town and its depressing gloom that my mom escaped with me when I was only a few months old. It was in this town that I'd been forced to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen. That was the year I finally started making ultimatums; these past three summers, my dad, Nick, vacationed with me in California for two weeks instead.

Yet somehow, I now found myself exiled to Forks for the rest of my high school education. A year and a half. Eighteen months. It felt like a prison sentence. Eighteen months, hard time. When I slammed the car door behind me, it made a sound like the clang of iron bars locking into place.

Okay, just a tad melodramatic there. I have an overactive imagination, as my mom was fond of telling me. And, of course, this was my choice. Self-imposed exile.

Didn't make it any easier.

I loved Phoenix. I loved the sun and the dry heat and the big, sprawling city. And I loved living with my mum, where I was needed.

"You don't have to do this," my mum said to me—the last of a hundred times—just before I got to the TSA post.

People think we look so much alike that we're mistaken as twins. It's not entirely true, though I don't look much like my dad at all. Her chin is pointy and her lips full, which is not like me, but we do have exactly the same eyes. On her they're childlike which makes her look like my sister rather than my mum, and although she pretends not to she loves it.

Staring at those wide, worried eyes so much like my own, I felt panicked. I'd been taking care of my mum for my whole life. I mean, I'm sure there must have been a time, probably when I was still in in diapers, that I wasn't in charge of the bills and paperwork and cooking and general live-headedness, but I couldn't remember it.

Was leaving my mum to fend for herself really the right to do? It had seemed like it was, during the months I'd struggled toward this decision. But it felt all kinds of wrong now. Of course she had Bruce these days, so the bills would probably get paid on time, there would be food in the fridge, gas in the car, and someone to call when she got lost........She didn't need me as much anymore.

"I want to go," I lied. I'd never been a good liar, but I'd been saying this lie so much lately that it almost sounded convincing now.

"Tell Nick I said hi."

"I will."

"I'll see you soon," she promised. "You can come home whenever you want—I'll come right back as soon as you need me."

But I knew what it would cost her to do that.

"Dont worry about me," I insisted. "it'll be great. I love you, Mum."

She hugged me tightly for a minute, and then I walked through the metal detectors, and she was gone.

It's a three hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a small plane up to Port Angeles, and the an hour drive back down to Forks. Flying's never bothered me; the hour in the car with Nick, though, I was a little worried about.

Nick had really been pretty decent about the whole thing. He seemed genuinely pleased that I was coming to live with him sort of permanently for the first time. He'd already gotten me registered for high school, and was going to help me get a car.

But it would be awkward. Neither of us was what you'd call extroverted—probably a necessary thing for living with my mother. But aside from that, what was there to say? It wasn't like I'd kept the way I felt about Forks a secret.

When I landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. It wasn't an omen, just inevitable. I'd said my goodbyes to the sun.

Nick was waiting for me with the cruiser. This I was expecting, too. Nick is Police Chief Fury to the good people of Forks. My primary motivation behind buying a car, despite my serious lack of funds, was that I hated driving around town in a car with red and blue lights on top. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop.

I stumbled off the plane in Nick's awkward, one-armed hug.

"It's good to see you, Y/n," he said, smiling as he automatically steadied me. We patted each other's shoulders, embarrassed, and then stepped back. "You haven't changed much. How's Y/M/N?"

"Mum's great. It's good to see you, too, Dad." I wasn't supposed to call him Nick to his face.

"You really feel okay about leaving her?"

We both understood that this question wasn't about my own personal happiness. It was whether I was shirking my responsibility to look after her. This was the reason Nick'd never fought Mum about custody; he knew she needed me.

"Yeah. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't sure."

"Fair enough."

I only had two big duffel bags. Most of my Arizona clothes were too permeable for the Washington climate. My Mum and I had pooled our resources to supplement my winter wardrobe, but it still wasn't much . I couldn't handle both of them, but Nick insisted on taking one.

It threw my balance off a little—not that was ever really balanced, especially since the growth spurt. My foot caught on the lip of the exit door and the bag swung out and hit the guy trying to get in.

"Oh, sorry."

The guy wasn't much older than me, and he was a little bit shorter than me, he stepped up to my chest with his chin raised high. I could see tattoos on both sides of his neck. A small woman with hair dyed solid black stared menacingly at me from his other side.

"Sorry?" she repeated, like my apology had been offensive somehow.

"Er, yeah?"

And then the woman noticed Nick, who was in uniform. Nick didn't even have to say anything. He just looked at the guy, who backed up a half-step and suddenly seemed a lot younger, and then the girl, whose sticky red lips settled into a pout. Without another word, they ducked around me and headed into the tiny terminal.

Nick and I both shrugged at the same time. It was funny how we had some of the same mannerisms when we didn't spend much time together. Maybe it was genetic.

"I found a good car for you, really cheap," Nick announced when we were strapped into the cruiser and on our way.

"What kind of car?" I asked, suspicious of the way he said "good car for you" as opposed to just "good car."

"Well, it's a truck actually, a Chevy."

"Where did you find it?"

"Do you remember Odin Odinson down at La Push?" La Push is the small Indian reservation on the nearby coastline.

"No."

"Him and his wife used go fishing with us during the summer," Nick prompted.

That would explain why I didn't remember him. I do a good job of blocking painful things from my memory.

"He's in a wheelchair now," Nick continued when I didn't respond, "so he can't drive anymore, and she offered to sell me his truck cheap."

"What year is it?" I could see from the change in his expression that this was the question he was hoping I wouldn't ask.

"Well, Odin's had a lot of work done on the engine—it's only a few years old, really."

Did he think I would give up that easily?

"When did he buy it?"

"He bought it in 1984, I think."

"Did he buy it new?"

"Well, no. I think it was new I the early sixties—or late fifties at the earliest," he admitted sheepishly.

"Ni—Dad, I dont really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able to fix anything that broke, and I couldn't afford a mechanic..."

"Really, Y/n, the things runs great. They don't build them like that anymore."

The thing, I though to myself ... it had possibilities—as a nickname, at the very least.

"How cheap is cheap?" After all, that part was the deal killer.

"Well, kid, I kind of already bought it for you. As a home coming gift." Nick glanced sideways at me with a hopeful expression.

Wow. Free.

"You didn't need to do that, Dad. I was going to buy myself a car."

"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here." He was looking ahead at the road when he said this. Nick had never been comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud. Another thing we had in common. So I was looking straight ahead as I responded.

"That's amazing, Dad. Thanks. I really appreciate it." No need to add that he was talking about impossibilities. Wouldn't help anything for him to suffer along with me. And I never looked a free truck in the mouth—or rather engine.

"Well, now, you're welcome." he mumbled, embarrassed by my thanks.

We changed a few more comments on the weather, which was wet, and that was pretty much it for conversation. We stared out the windows.

It was probably beautiful or something. Everything was green: the trees were covered in moss, both the trunks and the branches, the ground blanketed with ferns. Even the air had turned green by the time it filtered down through the leaves.

It was too green—an alien planet.

Eventually we made it to Nick's. He still lived in the small, two-bedroom house that he'd bought with my mother in the early days of their marriage. Those were the only kind of days their marriage had—the early ones. There, parked on the street in front of the house that never changed, was my new—well, new to me—truck. It was faded red colour, with big, curvy fenders and a rounded cab.

And I loved it. I wasn't really a car type of girl, so I was kind of surprised by my own reaction. I mean, I didn't even know If it would run, but I could see myself in it. Plus, it was one of those solid iron monsters that never gets damaged—the kind you see at the scene of an accident, paint unscratched, surrounded by the pieces of the foreign car it had just destroyed.

"Wow, Dad, it's awesome! Thanks!" Serious enthusiasm this time. Not only was the truck strangely cool, but I now I wouldn't have to walk two miles in the rain to school in the morning. Or accept a ride in the cruiser, which was obviously worst-case scenario.

"I'm glad you like it," Nick said gruffly, embarrassed again. It took only one trip to get all my stuff upstairs. I got the west bedroom that faced out over the front yard. The room was familiar; it had belonged to me since I was born. The wooden floor, the light blue walls, the peaked ceiling, the faded blue-and-white checked curtains around the window—these were all a part of my childhood. The only changes Nick had ever made were switching the crib for a bed and adding a desk as I grew. The desk now held a second-hand computer, with the phone line for the modem stapled along the floor to the nearest phone jack. This was one of my mother's requirements, so that we could stay in touch. The rocking chair from my baby days was still in the corner.

There was only one small bathroom at the top of the stairs, which I would have to share with Nick, but I'd had to share with my mum before, and that was definitely worse. She had a lot more stuff, and she doggedly resisted all my attempts to organise any of it.

One of the best things about Nick is he doesn't hover. He left me alone to unpack and get settled, which would have been totally impossible for my mum. It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look comfortable; a relief to stare out the window at the sheeting rain and let my thoughts get dark.

Forks High School had just three hundred and fifty-seven—now fifty-eight—students; there were more than seven hundred people in my junior class alone back home. All of the kids here had grown up together—their grandparents had been toddlers together. I would be the new kid from the big city, something to stare at and whisper about.

Maybe if I had been one of the cool kids, I could make this work for me. Come in all popular, homecoming queen, volleyball player or a cheerleader. But there was no hiding the fact that I was not that girl. Not the class president, not the bad girl on the motorcycle. I was the kid who looked like she should be good at basketball, until I started walking. The girl who got shoved into lockers until I'd suddenly shot up eight inches sophomore year. The girl who was too quiet and too pale, who didn't know anything about fashion or new makeup products or anything else I was supposed to be into as a seventeen year old girl.

Unlike other girls, I didn't have a ton of free time for hobbies. I had a check book to balance, a clogged drain to snake, and a week's groceries to shop for.

Or I used to.

So I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closest to of anyone on the planet, never understood me. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. :ole ,aunt what o saw as green was what everyone else saw as red. Maybe I smelled vinegar when they smelled coconut. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain.

But the cause didn't matter. All that mattered was the effect. And tomorrow would be just the beginning.

#Part1 #natasha x y/n #Natasha Romanoff x reader #natasha x fem!reader #Steve and bucky #pepper and tony #Notmine #Stephanie Meyer #life and death #Natasha romanoff #twilight

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safia123 · 3 years

Text

Bang Chan Oneshot- So Far

Warning: Angst, She/Her pronouns, death, mentions of suicide and self harm.

There are a lot of twists and honestly, I cried at the end because I didn't expect my fingers to type what they did.

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A/N- This is my first post and first fic (after a few long time). If you have any suggestions or improvements, I am all ears :) Also, I hope to write more gender neutrally in the future when I am able to do so properly.

____________________________________________

Sometimes life pushes the people you need to the deeper ends of the ocean. The more you swim, the harder it gets.. but the more you crave them.

In a world where riches ruled over morals, the Bang family were at the top. They were known for their lavish lifestyle. Just being in their presence could make warriors fall to their knees.

Mr. Bang inherited a successful trade company for weapons and warfare goods being sold all over the world. They were expensive and gold branded, just a touch of a bullet could slice a whole finger. Only the top, wealthiest people could afford to take even a few of the weapons. But they were never disappointed with the results. The weapons could turn pacifists into soldiers.

Whispers on the street claim that the family would use poor people to test the weapons, offering their families money in exchange for a life.

This wasn't helpful for the youngsters of the family. Their family's reputation proceded them.

The Bang family's eldest son, Chan, craved to be accepted.. to be befriended and not just used or feared for his name.

His mother was a poor woman, who had captured the heart of his father at a very young age. Sadly for the couple, his father was to be married to a rich businesswoman to maintain their familys reputation. She was stern and refused to look Chan in the eyes.

Chan never got to meet his mother. He was left with his father while his mother escaped before his fathers family could kill her.

Chan was always taught to never mention his mother and to pretend that Cilla was his biological mother. He was taught never to be curious, so he hid away his emotions at a young age so they would never get the best of him.

It was 9 in the morning and like every other day, Chan had to go to school. Rich kids need to be educated too, apparently.

He felt like the days were repeating themselves. Instead of his usual route, he decided to dress down, wearing a cap and a mask to stop anyone from recognising him. Of course, this meant that he would have to sneak early so no one would notice how he wasn't dressed in his uniform.

"One day off school wouldn't hurt. It's not like I will be missed." He thought to himself.

Today was the day Chan had been planning for weeks. He knew exactly what he was going to do. Exactly where he was going to go.

He could take a private plane to Rome or Hawaii ... but no. He just wanted one day where he could just breathe and live like a normal kid.

He took the first bus downtown. He wasn't sure how buses work so he just walked right in and the driver didn't say anything. He remembers hearing the kids at the back of the class- the ones that were too afraid to even look at him- mention an arcade. He had never been to one before. His father was too dejected and found it too painful to look at him without thinking of his mother and Cilla refused to accept him as her son.. so natually he had no one to go with. He had trouble making friends too, so that didn't help.

"Another shift?" He heard the bus driver ask the girl at the front. He seemed genuinely concerned and this caught Chans attention.

"Yeah. It's fine. I can do it." Smiled the girl at the front.

She looked quite scruffy and her eyes looked tired, but her brught smile seemed to fool everyone. She played it off pretty well. Once she stressed her lips across her face, the brightness would outshins the dread.

He watched as she sat in an empty spot towards the front of the bus. Her head rested against the side of the bus and she seemed as though she was fall into deep sleep within any second.

Something about her fasinated him.

When the bus had come to the 4th stop, the bus driver called out, "(Y/n) wake up, kiddo. You're going to miss your shift."

Her droopy eyes fluttered open and it took a few seconds for her to quickly pick up her bag and run towards the exit. Before she left, she started walking back as if she had forgotten something, "Thanks for waking me up, Steve. Have a great day!" She said with a smile and then ran back out.

Chans feet moved faster than his mind and before he knew it, he was off the bus and following her.

She walked into a restaurant.

"Bro, you need to hurry. He looks pissed. I don't know if he will let you off this time." The boy at the front warned (y/n).

"I know.. I'm sorry if he let it out on you." She apologised before rushing towards the back.

Chan had gone too far to stop now. Maybe (y/n) could be todays mystery. And all he had his mind on right now, was solving that mystery.

He approached the front desk and gestured "table for one". After the male had ignored him, he just walked right into the restaurant and sat at a fancy table, where he sat eagerly looking for (y/n).

It wasn't long before a tired-looking (y/n) walked out, in uniform, with a pen and pad and a fake smile to fix it all up.

She took the order from the group of girls two tables away from him and walked back to the kitchen. Not long after, she walks out juggling two plates. She seems steady until another waiter unexpectedly walks infront of her, catching her off guard and making her drop the dishes.

The whole restaurant went quiet after a loud SMASH and everyones eyes were on her. The kitchen staff ran out and you could feel her anxiety from across the room.

She didn't know where to look so she kept her eyes on the shattered pieces of glass on the floor. She was looking directly at the floor but her face seemed to became more and more disengaged with the situation.

The manager smiled at the customers reassuring them that everything was fine as he dragged her away from the scene.

Chan got up and walked towards the kitchen, pretending he was on his way to the toilets. He could hear shouting and crying.

A tired, tear stained (y/n) walked out soon after looking defeated. She walked to the toilets and was there for a while.. until she came out, still looking down, headed to the door. Chan followed her to the bus stop and sat next to her guarding her from the other men at the stop who were oogling her in her skirt and ripped tights.

Chan noticed little drops of blood on the floor and his eyes followed the trail to (y/n)'s legs, where there was a huge gash and as he kept searching, he noticed her sleeves were completely soaked in blood. He was surprised that he didn't notice before. It seemed as though (y/n) had passed out and before he could call the ambulance, the man next to him had already called.

When the ambulance arrived, Chan rushed into the ambulance with (y/n), eyebrows furrowed as he eagerly hoped to see her (y/e/c) eyes once more.

The paramedics were putting pressure on her wound and he heard them mention her blood pressure dropping.

When she was taken to the hospital, she was taken to the Intensive Care Unit and the paramedics explained the situation to the doctors.

He was too caught up in what was happening to ask the doctors if she would be better. He sat outside the room where they were operating on her and felt bad for her. He kept thinking about her pained smile and her tired eyes.

They seemed so familiar. So important. But he couldn't pinpoint why.

Her sleeping body was taken to a room, where he sat by her side. She was attached to a machine but he didn't pay attention to it. He kept wondering where he knew her from.

He was watching her and taking him her features when her eyes started to flutter open.

"Thank God, you're ok!" Chaan gushed. He then realised how weird this would have looked. He was a steanger to her and she was most likely about to freak out.

"Chan?" She questioned. "Huh? How do you know my name?" His head spinning with questions.

"You... you came back. I-where have you been? I waited. I waited for so long. And you lied. You said everything would be better. It is not better. She is still sick and they still constantly fight. Oh my gosh- my work. No. I- i cant lose it. I have to go back and beg. I can't lose it. How would I afford anything? I can't go back home and tell them that I lost the job. The other 2 jobs aren't enough. I- omg what do I do?!"

"(Y/n). Breathe. Its ok. Start from the beginning. I need you to tell me... how do you know me?" Chan had to clear his questions. Was she delusional? No. That cant be it. How did she know his name?

"Chan. Are you serious, right now? I haven't seen you in 10 years... your face still engrained in my head and you dont know who we are to each other?" (Y/n) looked betrayed. Her eyes started to water and he felt guilty for pressurising her.

He closed his eyes and inhaled. He slowly exhaled and for once he felt like the world was catching up with him.

He remembered a small park and two kids. A cute little girl and tiny Chan. The little girl was crying and Chan held onto her tight. He reassured her that everything would be fine. Surely it was normal for 8 year olds to be worrying about finances. He was approached by a pale lady with sad eyes. She looked just like him. Or maybe he looked like her.

"Mum? Where were you?" He gasped. Tiny Chan let go of the little girl and held onto the older women. "I'm sorry I had to leave but I am here now. I won't leave you again." She held him tight, the way he was holding the little girl.

The lady held his hand and led him away. "Chan!" The girl cried behind him. "I will be back. I promise! This is my mum. I need to go now. Everything will be fine."

And then it turns black.

"What happened next???? Where did we go??" Chan jumped up, frantically. This scared (y/n) a little.

Nothing made sense.

"You.. I thought.. they said that you died. Your father mourned your death and your mothers. I didn't believe them. You said you would be back. And here you are. They must have set up a fake grave for you and your mum. Maybe the bodies by the truck were a lie. It can't be true.. how else could you be here?" And then (y/n) went silent.

No.

He was dead? That can't be true.

So he wasn't being ignored? He wasn't feared? All those years he spent hating himself for not being noticed.. no one saw him. He was dead?

Reality hit him too fast to process. He didn't understand. Why him..? Why was he still there, then?

"Why can I see you..? Am I..?" (Y/n) whispered. She turned to the machine next to her and looked down at her sleeping body. The numbers were dropping and she felt like there was a countdown for her life.

Reality wasn't kind to her, either.

"This time, come with me. I am not leaving you behind." Chan held out his hand to (y/n). She stepped back.

"What? No. They need me. I can't just go. They will all suffer because of me. I should have neved even thought about doing what I did. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING! I JUST WANTED IT TO STOP. But not like this..." she whispered the last part.

"Life goes on. What's done is done. We can't change it. It will all work out and everyone will move forward. Trust me. I've seen it." He comforted her.

He reached out once more.

"I'm sorry I had to leave but I am here now. I won't leave you again."

She took his hand.

- BEEEEP-

#bang chan oneshot #bang chan #christopher bang #stray kids #stray kids oneshot #kpop angst #kpop #stray kids angst

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a-forgotten-spirit · 4 years

Text

Love Isn’t An Illusion (7)

Pairing: Todoroki x Bakugou, Todoroki x Reader x Bakugou, VERY SLOW BUILD

Summary: Getting supplies for the camping trip with some fun rivalry swimming.

Words: +-7600 (I have problems)

Warnings: bad parenting, overbearing parents, overthinking, talking about bathing suits, fear of public places, over planning, wearing a skirt, anxiety, protective Shoji, being noticed by fans, social metres, explaining swimwear, saying you have a chest (sorry if you dont, itty bitty titties are good too!), explanations of clothing, the league, undressing and people looking at you (not sexual), being self conscious, overly competitive,

Tagged: @kittycatspervertedheart @lemorrite @gwendlynn @marleps @thicctati2 @saitamastamaticsoup @succulent-momma @aurorahoneybuns @imjusttireddudes @misconceptualised @ochabby @katsukisuwus @gayverlinq @star-witchs-blog @fallbb123 @icyhotpie @kyrah-williams

A/N: I wrote this for the fans. I do not own My Hero academia or the characters, I don’t own most of the plot for this story, I had watched the show and re-written the dialogue and plot as if the reader was the main character. Everything is centred around the reader. Please comment, makes me happy. Ask if you wish to be tagged. Patreon is still in the works as I’m not confident to do it however, for now I am doing commission stories if anyone is interested

Masterlist

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

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Chapter 7

Walking into the house my mother walked up to me hands on her hips and she looked ready for a fight. I was tired and just wanted to go lay down. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with her right now or at any given point if I was honest but after the exam I had, I quite enjoyed turning my brain off for a few days.

“Who dropped you off” she inquired immediately. I sighed and hoisted my bag onto my back more comfortably as I looked up to see her. My head was pounding and Bakugou's jumper was so warm and fluffy I just wanted to go to sleep.

“Friends from school” I answered, my heart did the weird thing where it decided to not work and beat quicker then it should. I was there with my friends. Todoroki was always ready to help me move around and helped me through the panic attack while Bakugou had brought me food and gave me his jumper. I was thankful for both. Her hand moved in a continuous motion as if to continue “Bakugou and Todoroki” I answered.

“Todoroki, like Endeavor Todoroki,” she asked and I nodded slowly “His son, with the fire and ice. You’re friends with his son” I nodded again. She’s never been interested in heroes, at least whenever I talked about them “Oh darling look at you. He is a fine choice to swoon. Money and looks, he will make a great friend. I have to meet his father”

I was blank. She had to be joking right. I did not just fight ten Pro heroes for my mother to go on about how I'm friends with someone as if I had something to gain “I’m friends with Todoroki for Todoroki, not Endeavor. I do not like Endeavor and I never will. I like Todoroki for who he is not who he is related to” I said slowly as if I had to sound it out.

“Oh sure” she huffed and I knew this wouldn’t leave so I left it, she could think all she wanted, it meant nothing to me. “Bakugou, Bakugou” she whispered and hand on her chin. What was she doing? “Bakugou like the fashion designers” my head fell as I sighed out and shook my head “You are going for the top aren’t you. Just like your mum”

“Ok, whatever. Think what you want but I like them for them” she continued to go on as I shook my head again and then walked away up the stairs and into my room. Placing my phone on to charge I wiggled my arms into the jumper and unzipped my hero costume before falling into bed and falling asleep.

This morning was long, filled with questions about the boys and what they did, who I liked more. I didn’t answer a single one. I was not in the mood. I pulled on my uniform folding Bakugous’ jumper and left it on my bed. If he didn’t want me to keep it I could say I just forgot it, easy. I chose to pull on the UA jumper I had specifically asked for and then I was ready for school. My mother offered to drive, I accepted and put in my music to ignore her. Headphones covering my head and ears. Arriving I thanked her and I was off to class, as I was walking down the hall I could hear Kaminari yelling, he didn’t pass.

Aizawa walked in and I quickly followed “Sorry” I could see the looks but one glare from Aizawa and everyone was quiet. I made my way to my seat quickly, sitting down and placing my headphones in my bag out of the way, looking up and paying full attention.

“Morning, unfortunately, there are a few of you who did not pass your final exams. So when it comes to the training camp in the woods” he paused then his head raised a wide smile as his eyes did the same “Everyone is going” that was good. Kaminairi and Mina looked quite upset. They all asked if he was being honest and that they got to come with the rest of us “Yeah. The good news is no one bombed the written exam. Five failed the practical badly. Two teams of course and Sero failed as well” I could hear a quiet yell. I forgot he got caught with Midnight and fell asleep the whole time. “Allow me to explain, the practical the teachers made sure to leave a way for the students to win” my eyes fell and I shook my head “Except Y/N” he nodded and I looked away. They did no such thing. “Otherwise you never would have stood a chance” I rolled my eyes.

“I think I did just fine thank you” I whispered and played with the ends of my sleeve. I spent three days in the hospital to win that goddamned test. I knew some people heard that at the little chuckles around me.

“We were interested in observing how each of you approached the task at hand. The training camp will focus on strength” this was going to be a long camp, my head rested on my palm as I looked to Aizawa. I need to work on harnessing my quirk and not passing out every time I go overboard. “Those who failed will need those lessons the most, we were never going to separate you” leave it to the teachers to absolutely scare everyone in the class for no reason “That was just a logical deception we used” his smile was bright, he was quite proud of himself.

“He tricked us all, I should have expected this” Iida voiced I turned seeing him quickly lunge up from his seat “Mr Aizawa this is the second time you’ve lied to us aren’t you afraid we will lose faith in you” he was standing straight his hand up in the air as he yelled. He had a point but I don’t think the teacher cared.

“That’s a good point, I'll consider it” No he won’t, he enjoyed making us stress and try our best “But I wasn’t lying to you about everything” this man was full of surprises and it was making my head fuzzy. “Failure is failure” I smiled so not a topic for me. “We’ve prepared extra lessons for the five of you” the mood dropped drastically amongst the five. “Frankly they’ll be far tougher than what you’ll face at summer school” at least he was honest.

The rest of the day went by as usual and I talked to Bakugou and Todoroki mostly a few people coming up to me to give their congratulations and a few telling me they thought I had died when I just fell. I laughed at that comment.

“I had about a hundred thoughts playing at once so I overworked my brain” I smiled and scratched the back of my head, a nervous habit I picked up when I was younger. I saw confused faces. “Each illusion is a single thought if they act differently so by the end of the match I had about a hundred independent thoughts going through my head at once”

I was bombarded with questions as I answered them without giving too much information away. I had Mina hugging me tightly at one point in tears about how worried she was, I swear my hair was wet by the end of it. I smiled, genuinely. I did have the best class anyone could ask for. This was one of the first days I wasn’t rushing to study or do anything, it felt nice and I had friends.

“We’re at the training camp for a full week” Iida readout, he seemed shocked and I nodded to myself. Another week without my parents, what more could I wish for. My parents had signed off on it earlier in the year not caring for what I did.

“No way, I’ll need a bigger suitcase” Midoriya pondered and I thought to my belongings. I had a big enough suitcase. When I got along with my parents we had gone on a few holidays so I just had to find it.

“No kidding, I don’t even have a bathing suit” the thought sent shivers down my spine. I would be fearful to get into the water knowing if Kaminari sneezed I could be electrocuted and die. He had control but still, it was worrying. I didn’t often go swimming so I too would need to buy one. “Guess I need to buy some stuff”

“Guys since we are off tomorrow and we’re finished exams I have the best idea” Torus’ happy voice sang out her uniform moving indicating she raised her arms in excitement. Everyone seemed interested now. “Why doesn’t class 1-A go shopping together” it wasn’t a bad idea. I preferred to go shopping with people I knew then alone I had to admit I feared to be alone in public places just as much as the next person.

“Hey yeah, we’ve never hung out as a class before” Kaminari smiled as Uraraka nodded enthusiastically. I could hear everyone agreeing and getting more excited about the weekend's events. I too was quite excited though, did they mean everyone in the class?

“Bakugou, see you there, right” Leave it to Kirishima to always ask if the explosive blonde would attend a get-together. I like that Bakugou had friends and seemed to get along with people, even if it was only a select few.

“I can’t think of anything more annoying” his eyes were closed and face distasteful as he grimaced at the mere thought of seeing anyone in school out in public. I smiled and rolled my eyes silently as he walked off from the group hands in his pockets and back slouched.

Everyone was talking and I smiled happily though I could hear Midoriya ask Todoroki if he was going to join the class on our little adventure “I visit my mum on days off” he smiled, small but it was there. Did he live with his dad but not his mum? Maybe they were divorced or something. I was sad he wouldn’t be there but I could understand why. I didn’t blame him.

“Party poopers, don’t you ever get tired of being so serious” Mineta shouted, I would’ve liked both Bakugou and Todoroki to come but they had their things on. I had made friends with the class so hopefully, I wouldn’t be left to my own devices but if so I was more than capable of shopping on my own.

“What about you Y/N” I turned to look at Jirou who had asked the question “Are you going to come” she smiled and I saw a few of the other girls smile in response. I was being offered, I had friends. I would never regret coming to this school.

“Yeah” I nodded and stood from my desk patting my skirt down to my legs “I need some swimwear and hiking clothes” I scratched the back of my head nervously “I live in jumpers and long pants so I’ll need some outdoors clothes” I didn’t leave the house much before this year. I stayed in my room and played games now I was studying non-stop.

“We can help with that” Uraraka put her fist in the air and I nodded unbeknownst that a few boys were more than interested in the conversation I was having. “You’ll be an outdoors person in no time” I laughed rather loudly and nodded.

“I look forward to it” and I wasn’t lying I was beyond excited for this camp, the whole thing a new experience and I hadn’t gone on ‘holiday’ in quite some time if I was honest.

We all walked out of the room and set up a group chat for the weekend, I waved everyone goodbye and began my trek home. Headphones on and music blaring to calm myself through the walk, it was long but when I arrived home I could see my parents were home. I walked up to the two of them turning down my music and pushing the headset from my head to my neck.

“I’m going out with the class over the week to go shopping for the camp” I stated, they didn’t care what I did. I could see my mother think for a moment and then nodded, remembering something.

“Yes you did make it into that camp, my bank is still connected to your card, get everything you need. A week was it” she asked not looking up, they had no concept of money because they had so much. I didn’t spend a lot of money but I did need things for the week trip. I nodded. “Ok” then I was off to my room.

I searched my room for my suitcase, it was just a plain black hard suitcase that was big enough for a week's trip. Suitcase, done. I got out my phone and began to make a list of the things I would need. It was long but I wanted everything to be perfect and if I had no purchase limit why not spoil myself for once.

Once the list was done I looked at the group chat and saw all the details Iida had set up sending a quick “Thank you” and mentioning Iida I was off and ready for bed. I had had dinner between rummaging through my room and making my list.

Waking up the next morning I did my usual routine and stretched, I felt so relaxed no studying for me though I liked that I was still busy in away. I liked to keep myself busy. When you do things for so long and then stop you have to find something to replace it. I walked out into my room in my underwear and sighed, what was I going to wear? What was everyone going to wear? We were going to the shopping centre so casual but something I could easily take off if I needed to try things on. I laughed, I could use my illusions to see how they would look. Cute it was.

I opened my wardrobe searching through my long-sleeved shirts until I found a black long-sleeved shirt with holes in the sleeves held together by an F/C lace-like strip that crossed over each other to the bottom of the sleeve. Short black skirt with my shirt tucked into baggily. I moved to my accessories drawers and opened it to see my belts. My F/C belt would go perfect matching the strips of lace, I placed it through the hoops in the skirt and smiled. Some simple boots and the look was complete. I brushed my hair and placed my little backpack on my back. Pull of a portable charger, my wallet and just my everyday things. Walking out I walked past my parents and I was off on my adventure sending a message I would be a few minutes late due to buses not matching up for me.

I hopped off the bus saying a quick thank you before I left to go into the centre, turning on my phone one last time to check I had the right information. I looked up and saw the group then looked down, was I too casual? I began to panic and shook my head. These were my friends, these were my people.

“Hey guys, sorry for being a little late” I called out and watched as they turned to me smiling lighting up and waves being thrown though I didn’t miss the double takes I was receiving from a few of them. I walked up to them and stood in the little group we had formed.

Everyone seemed quite excited but Midoriya was looking around in awe and muttering to himself about how all the shops captured almost every single quirk known. I laughed and felt my arm get hooped to Mina who was jumping around and full of energy like usual. I smiled.

“You’re going to scare the children” Tokoyami blandly stated and shook his head crossing his arms in fake seriousness, at least, I thought it was fake. “Stop” I heard a few laughs as Midoriya blushed in embarrassment.

“Wow, aren’t they UA students” a bystander called out and I turned to see a little group of people forming, this was a downfall of being in the top school but there was nothing we could do. I was going to become a hero and having fans was part of that.

“1-A” another called out as I looked to the three men looking overly excited to see the group in public. After the sports festival, I couldn’t blame them but still yelling across the mall hallway was a lot for my anxiety. I hadn’t even thought about if anyone recognised us.

“I saw them on TV” so my accusations were right, they had seen us at the festival most likely and then the thought of my video saving people and Hero Killer Stain came into my mind. I gripped the straps of my backpack, Mina having left my side a few minutes ago. I moved to stand behind Shoji who immediately moved to shield me from the view.

Even with all the people talking and fanning Jiro and Momo were just talking about what they needed to get and see, they chose to go together. They were such good friends. I smiled at the interaction.

“You ok,” Shoji asked his mask moving slightly with the question. I nodded and saw a few people turned to look at my still slightly shielded figure. I flushed and turned away from the looks.

“I’m just anxious about people looking at me” he nodded and rubbed my back to calm me down “Sorry about that” I could see people shake their hands and smile, it made me feel a lot better.

“We all have our weaknesses, though you seem so confident when fighting” Kirishima pointed out and again they nodded in agreement. My hand came to my chin to think, they were right.

“I’m far too competitive to lose it just comes off as confidence” I laughed and scratched the back of my head my cheeks reddening at the confession “I’m one of the most competitive people you’ll ever meet. One of the downfalls of my personality” I nodded and heard a few laughs in response.

When everyone was done saying what they needed or wanted for the trip Kirishima spoke up “Why don’t we split up and look around, we can meet up here when we are done. It’s noon so let’s say we all meet up here at three” I heard a chorus of sure's and yes’ as we all broke off.

I walked off with Shoji and Tokoyami having asked if I could tag along to the supplies store. I said I’d meet up with the girls later so I could buy some swimwear with them. We were talking and walking around until we made it to the store. Shoji grabbing a basket for us. I had moved my headphones to my bag but when I walked I could hear the keychains bounce.

“What do you need Y/N,” Tokoyami asked and Shoji came back into the conversation from looking around. I hummed for a second taking out my phone and unlocking the device showing them both a photo.

“I wanted to buy this, It’s a PowerPoint that has four docks for plugs and then three USB hubs. Just in case there aren't enough powerpoints I thought this would be good to bring” I explained and then pulled the phone back scrolling down “It says this store has them but I’ve never been here so I might have to ask someone” I whispered looking back up to the boys.

“I didn’t even know they had those kinds of things but that is a very good idea” Shoji nodded impressed with the find and I handed him my phone saying to scroll as they also had others he might be interested in.

“Yeah Y/N has a good point, we have no idea where we are going and it would be good to be prepared for anything” Tokoyami nodded and moved to look at the phone as well “They are very practical” he added and I nodded. “Anything else,” he asked my phone being handed back to me.

“A flashlight maybe, I don’t know where we are and if I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of nowhere I would like to know where I am going” a hum from Tokoyami and a firm agreeing nod from Shoji we began our quest for the items.

It was an enjoyable trip as we rushed through each aisle and tried to find the products. The workers had told us isle five near the back to the left though all three of us stared at the shelf. “Are you guys seeing something I’m not?” I asked, turning to them.

“No” Shoji shook his head and then tilted to shake his head, “They said isle five” we all looked up, we were in that aisle. “To the back” we were to the back of the isle “On the left” his voice went to nothing as I moved to crouch down.

I moved a few boxes looking at the signs and then I saw them “Found them” I called out and heard a sigh of relief as I leaned forward to grab them from the back of the shelf, there were three left. I hugged them to my chest. “There’s three left” I sighed and moved to put them in the basket “No one in the class can get them” I smirked and we all laughed at the situation of us being overly prepared.

Moving onto finding flashlights and a few other things including bug spray and a travel utility kit. “What about portable charges, there may not even be electricity. We could be camping” Tokoyami spoke up and I shrugged nodding.

“Good point, we have no idea where we are going. I have one but when I was looking for the ports I saw one that can charge your phones up to four times in one charge” they were both interested in this new information as I showed them my phone again. “It’s pretty cheap too, sales” I smiled. We were off again looking for this device. Finding them we added them to the basket and we were leaving the store, finally. We paid for our things. I put my things in my bag and we were off once more. “Kaminari and Mina are picking out swimwear if you wanna come”

“I need something to fit my arms, hopefully, they’ll have something” Shoji nodded as Tokoyami looked less than comfortable at the idea of trying on swimwear. I smiled and looked up the store.

“Hey Tokoyami” his eyes turned to my own and I showed him the picture of the pitch-black swimwear set that was long-sleeved and came up his neck and down his legs. “They have a black pair that covers your whole body” I sang with a smile.

“I guess I do need a swim set” he crossed his arms as we made our way to the store, keeping our chatter casual and easy. I put my phone away as we came into the store and met up with the two, Mineta and Kirishima had joined them.

“Hey, guys” Kirishima waved smiling widely, happily. I waved back and we all began to browse. Mina and I moved over to the women's section even though the rash shirts in the men's section were looking more than appealing.

Mina and I began to look through the swimwear as I sighed out, there was far too many to look through. “What do you usually wear in the water” she bounced over happily already holding a few things to try on. I, on the other hand, had nothing.

“I don’t go swimming” I could swim quite well my parents have cared for me not drowning to get me a lesson at a young age. Though I didn’t go swimming often, we didn’t have a pool and I was very focused on studying to get into UA from a young age.

“What’s a colour you like,” she asked and began to go through the swimwear I was looking at “This is just all shirts” she whispered more to herself then I as I nodded and she smiled “You’ll have to buy a bikini to go underneath as well” I hadn’t even thought about that.

“I like F/C and black and yeah I do need to get a bikini” I sighed and put my head back, this was a lot for my social metre to take, my body anxious but Minas’ bubbly personality was helping my anxiety lessen. Taking out my phone I sent out a message to both Bakugou and Todoroki asking if they needed anything while I was out.

“Already got everything” was the message from Bakugou simple and easy then as I was about to click out “Thanks though” I smiled and was about to send a reply when the phone vibrated again “You should plan next time idiot” of course he couldn’t end on something positive. I replied and then moved onto Todoroki.

“No, it’s ok. I’ll go after visiting my mother. Thank you” even though his typing style was neat and formal. Only saying what he needed too and then ending the conversation whereas Bakugou wrote whatever came to mind in that second and sent it off. I replied to him as well and then put my phone away.

“Black isn’t a colour but I'll allow it” she stood quickly smiling out and then moving around the store grabbing Kaminari and Kirishima to help her find something for me to wear. I laughed at the awkward faces but they both went to work.

“Y/N” I was called over to Mina who was holding a bikini set that was F/C, it was modest and covered everything that needed to be covered. I nodded and then looked to the fabric taking it, it had a nice texture as well.

They looked nice, the bottoms weren’t held together by a string which I instantly liked and the bra part looked rather nice. The bra had little ruffles along the rim which were cute. I looked at the size and laughed. She looked confused as the boys walked overhearing the commotion. “You got a size far to small at least for the top” she tilted her hand and then looked down to my chest.

I moved to hold my shirt against my body and her eyes widened “That’s some voodoo magic” she called out and I could see a few boys blushing as Mineta fell to the floor. “No what” she called out and looked amazed.

I let go of my shirt and she shook her head “I just wear baggy clothing and jumpers to school. I appreciate the thought though” I laughed and moved to grab the size that fit me and she looked about ready to faint I laughed again. “It’s not the first time” she nodded and we went looking for the rest of the swimwear we all needed. “Kirishima” I watched his head turn and I held up a red swim shirt that had a picture of Crimson Riot on the back.

“I need it but I don’t usually wear shirts” he whispered and looked overly happy that I had found it. Leaning down I showed him the matching bottoms a little picture of the hero on the bottom of them. “There we go” he nodded and got both of them “Isn’t this kinda childish though” he frowned.

“If they had a swimsuit that had my favourite character on it, I’d get it. It’s manly to be you” I nodded and his eyes lit up as he jumped putting his arms together. He was so happy that someone had simply let him be a fan

“You’re right” he nodded and went to go show the others who were more than interested to listen to him babble about how much he loved Crimson Riot. I didn’t doubt he had far more merch then those two pieces of clothing. Though I was surprised to see the merch for such an old hero.

I looked around as the others did, Tokoyami having grabbed the black pieces of swimwear I had shown him prior when we were walking over. Mina found some pink swimmers that complimented her and I walked further into the store seeing something I knew one of my friends would be interested in. Grabbing the colour I assumed he’d like I walked over to the group.

“Shoji” I held up the seemingly normal swimsuit and I watched as everyone was confused until I pulled down an almost invisible zipper down the sides of the shirt and his eyes lit up.

“You seem to find what everyone needs Y/N” I could see the smile through his mask and I nodded handing over the shirt showing him where the zipper was. “I have bottoms so I’m all done” I looked back and watched as the boys went off Kaminari having picked some yellow bottom with Pikachu on them, I smiled as they went to try on their clothes.

I walked around until finding a nice black rash shirt with F/C strips along the ribs. Picking my size I walked over to Mina “Do you think I should get shorts or with the bikini bottoms be enough” I asked. She turned and looked at the outfit I was holding up.

“The shirt seems pretty long so I think you should be fine” she nodded and then moved to feel the rash shirt “That’s super soft” her eyes widened and I did the same nodding. “Go try them on” I looked down and tilted my head. Creating an illusion her eyes widened “You never need to try on clothes, I'm so jealous” she cried out and I laughed “But they look super good”

I nodded. A few more minutes and trying on clothes we were ready to move on with the rest of our trip. Paying for the clothing and a reusable bag to put it in we were off everyone having bought something. We walked and talked as we moved on to different stores buying things and talking about what we would need. It was a fun trip and I had messaged my mother if she could pick me up having bought all the things I needed and it is quite a lot. She said yes, she was acting nice the last few days but I didn’t mention it.

“I think that was a successful trip” Tokoyami pointed out and we all agreed. “It’s almost three so let’s all meet up with the group” we stopped by one more store to buy some new pillowcases and then we made our way back to the centre, being the first to arrive.

Throughout the trip we had been stopped a few times by people interested in our school and other things, we mostly thanked them and then went on with our day. I smiled at my ‘fans’ and then we were off to the place where we said we would all meet up. Having arrived we weren’t the first, of course, Iida was here before us all, bags in hand. He dressed like a dad and I loved that he wore such formal but casual clothes. Though when we arrived we were told that Midoriya had been attacked per se by Shigaraki. The league of villains so-called leader. I was practically shaking when we were told. Then asked by police if we had seen anyone. I hadn’t even thought about the league or Stains little followers. I wasn’t safe, we weren’t safe. The police conducted a sweep but Shigaraki wasn’t found and I didn’t know if I wanted him too. Midoriya was taken to the police station to file a report.

I stood with the rest of my peers and waved them off with a “Please be careful getting home” as I walked to the carpark placing all my new things into the boot while my mother was on the phone to someone. Getting into the passenger side I waved to the group getting waves back and raised my phone pointing to it mouthing “Message me” I got nods and then I was off on the drive home.

My mother complained to someone on the other side of the line, but their conversation ended quickly. Her eyes glazed over to my body for a moment before talking “Did you get everything you need” she seemed very calm which was odd.

“Yes, I did” I responded and she nodded stopping at a roundabout “I’ll be gone for a week as of the camp, I don’t know if I’ll be able to message as we don’t know where we are going” I explained as she drove through turning to the main road, the road home.

“That’s fine, you still have your suitcase” I hummed a yes and she nodded “Your father and I are going on a week vacation while you are gone” so that’s why she was being nice. She didn’t want me there anyway. “I’ll drop you off on Monday and pick you up when you get home” I nodded and the conversation was over.

Arriving home we went our separate ways. I moved into my room and began to get messages from everyone that they got home. I sent a message that I arrived home safely. I was so worried about the league but shook my head and began to pack my bag for the trip. I arranged everything and then began to pack, Aizawa saying they had beds for us so I didn’t need to bring Tatami to the trip. I packed my pillow and then packed around it, the piece is the biggest. Clothing folded perfectly and then placed inside. I packed the PowerPoint and extra chargers just in case. I had to charge my headphones tonight. I lifted myself from the floor and put them on to charge.

Then came dinner, it was simple and easy to eat. Down with some ice water I was in a good mood, and excited mood. A few moments on my phone then I was back to packing. I finished well into the night having made sure I had everything but leaving a note in the bathroom to pack my toiletries the day I was leaving before I left. I believed I was ready for bed as I stretched and then looked back to the bag. Amongst shopping, I had bought some t-shirts and shorts, ready for the outdoors. My boots were thick but flat so I could wear them without care if we had to do a lot of walking. I moved to pack a few jumpers for sleeping or if it got cold. I packed Bakugous without a thought.

I had gotten a message in a new group titled “The girls” I smiled when I was informed that I was being asked if I wanted to join the rest of the girls using the schools' pool tomorrow before the camp. “Use the school swimsuit,” I said I’d be there.

I had arrived at school the next day wearing the school swimsuit under my regular clothes and going to the changing room to undress when I saw the rest of the girls changing. I waved as they began to talk about nothing in particular and I joined in a few times.

“I am so excited for camp,” Toru yelled, voice high and full of energy even though it was rather early in the morning. I was still just waking up, not quite remembering how I got to school. As I peeled off my shirt I watched as the girls stopped talking.

“It’s so weird, right” I was confused and I followed their gaze to my chest as I flushed and looked away “Oh sorry Y/N” Mina apologised and I waved a hand as it was ok. It was I didn’t mind. “We went shopping and I was amazed”

“I can see why your outfits make you look flat” Jiro bluntly stated and I nodded looking down at my breasts. I wasn’t flat I thought I had nice breasts. We continued to get changed and then walked out into the pool area. “We got permission off Aizawa to be here so there was no need to worry” I nodded, I didn’t think about it. Momo had planned this and I trusted her.

We were just chilling stretching off to the side of the pool when the boys began to show up. The swimsuits weren’t too bad, covering my body, I should have brought something like this for the camp but I didn’t mind too much, I thought my outfit was cute. We stretched and then we began to play volleyball. We were having so much fun playing and joking with the girls.

“Serve”

“Chance ball”

“Got it”

“Mine”

We were having so much fun with I was smiling though I kept most of my body under the water being a little self-conscious of the tight clothing I was having fun nonetheless. I threw myself back aiming for a ball and hitting it over the net as I splashed into the water on my back gaining us a point.

When my head rose I heard a loud voice “The next time I beat you, I want you to be at your strongest, you damn nerd” I turned seeing Bakugou in all his glory, shirt off and tight pants on. I watched him storm his way towards Midoriya and my heartbeat quicken. He was so attractive. The girls and I watched on confused as to what was happening.

“Hey I got your message, sorry I'm late” Kirishima waved his hand around smiling. His arm was out holding Bakugou from the green-headed shaking male “It took a while to convince Bakugou to come out” I wanted to thank Kirishima for trying his hardest this is all I could have wanted. He was so muscular as I sighed out and flushed glad no one was paying attention to me.

“So Deku, you wanna settle who's the best of us right now” Bakugou was sure in a mood, his arm raised and hand outstretched to allow his palms to pop with small harmless explosions. He was sure fired up “Huh” he yelled. Midoriya stepped back shaking his head.

“You know what we could make this training a contest” Iida spoke more to himself then the group and my ears picked up on the chatter. “Hey everyone I propose we see which of the boys can swim 50 metres the fastest. A friendly race” he smiled and I couldn’t help the way my hands twitched. There was no such thing as a friendly race, at least in my books.

I ducked beneath the water and swam over quickly as they all rounded up. I popped out of the water on an illusion raising myself in front of them in all my glory. “I hope I’m welcome” I smiled and saw their fearful faces. Licking my lips I dropped down in front of the water falling from my body as I smiled. “I do enjoy beating you all” I was not met with smiles but determined faces of my peers.

“OK then, the boys and Y/N” Iida nodded and I moved to crack my knuckles rather loudly as I saw a few of the boys look rather excited and some just look nervous. I think I saw Kaminari wince to the sound of cracking bones.

“Iida why don’t you let us help you out with this” Momo asked the girls now out of the pool and looking excited as the rest of us. I was bouncing around, I was far too competitive for my good. I hated not being apart of competition but this was something else. This was a real competition. Iida agreed to the help, from the girls.

“And quirks,” Ojiro asked slowly his hand raised with a towel around his neck “Are we allowed to use them” I could win easily if we did. Just set them on a little course that wasn’t in the pool and I could easily win.

“Well, we are at school” Iida pondered, yes, just say we can. “So there shouldn’t be a problem with that” I smiled to the group and moved my hand letting out a little mist for emphasis I saw wide eyes and worried faces. “However you cannot cause damage to your classmates or the building” I could agree with that.

Bakugou walked forward and just past me to stand in front of Midoriya, they needed a new hobby “I’m going to annihilate you Deku” clenched fists and hard stare he spoke calmly, honestly. “And you too Icy-Hot” I turned to where his eyes were to see Todoroki sitting on the floor, without a shirt. The lords have blessed me today. “You bastard” he was in a bad mood, like always. Then the explosive blonde turned to me “You especially” then he walked off and I smiled.

“I look forward to it” I called out behind him. We all moved into lines. I was in the second heat so I watched the first five boys race. Then the whistle went off.

Bakugou was flying through the air landing on his feet at the end of the pool. “How was that you sidekicks” he called out hand raised and I smiled when he got backlash from his friends “It’s called freestyle swimming” he had a point it was a freestyle.

Then it was my go with Todoroki, Sero, Kirishima and Sato “On your marks, get set, go” the whistle was off and I watched as an illusion came around them jumping in as I jumped off the ledge and walked to the other end of the pool stepping up and letting the illusion fall. Sero taping his way across the surface of the water and Todoroki surfing on ice.

“You’re supposed to be swimming” Kaminari and Mineta yelled as I simply shrugged my shoulders. Watching Sato and Kirishima get to the end of the pool. Todoroki looked at me as well.

“What can I say. I like to win” I smiled and moved back to the lines “At least I touched the water” I put my hands on my hips and lined back up “Beside quirks are allowed and I didn’t hurt anybody or property” I wasn’t wrong.

“It’s time for the final race. Bakugou, Y/N, Todoroki, Midoriya you had the fastest four times. You will fight for first place” his hands were on his hips as I nodded Midoriya and Todoroki making a verbal response.

“Listen up scarface" I believed that to be a little harsh to the ear but then again that was Bakugou "Don’t you dare hold back as you did at the sports festival” his voice was so angry, he really still thought about that, did he forget I had beat him? ‘Bring everything you’ve got” I didn’t take it personally, I think Bakugou had a thing for people who didn’t take him seriously, while I did. “You too fight to win” he turned to Midoriya they were all agreeing and talking.

“Are we forgetting I beat all three of you” I voiced and it went silent. “I mean” I laughed lightly an aura of danger being released. “I don’t like when people don’t take me seriously” I smiled and saw the nods.

We got into place and I smirked standing on the pedestal. I could hear yelling and other things as I smiled seeing the boys activating their quirks and I sighed. “Get set” this would be easy. I smiled. “Go” as I went to jump I saw no illusion appear.

I heard the yells of my opponents as I fell into the water, having just stepped in instead of swimming. I rose to see Aizawa his hair up and quirk activated “It’s five pm, your authorised pool time is officially over. Hurry up and go home” did he have to do that. It was one race that would have been over in less than a minute. Kaminari and Sero voiced my complaints. “Are you questioning me” his eyes shone and I was glad I hadn’t been the one to talk.

We all rushed to get changed and go home once we were allowed. I sighed and got out of the pool feeling my quirk return to me, it was a weird feeling when it was off. Then I was heading home having to get ready for the camp.

I ate once I was home and then began to repack making sure I had everything I needed when I finished packing for the night and laid down being rather exhausted more then I would like to admit. I sighed out and went on my phone seeing a message I had missed about a quarter of an hour before. “Do you have a spare charger I spent longer with my mother and left mine with her” Todorokis’ message read. I smiled, he had messaged me.

“Yeah, I’ll pack it and give it to you at camp” I responded, I was never one for emojis or the little stickers but when I received one from Todoroki it being a little cat saying ‘Thank you’ I couldn’t help the blush rising to my cheeks. “No issues” I replied and stared at the ceiling for a moment to calm my racing heart.

I was tired but that didn’t stop me from watching a video I wanted to catch up on, a few hours passed and it was getting close to midnight, I had to get some sleep. I moved to place my phone on charge, pulling the blanket over my body and the warmth and sleep consumed my form. Hello, summer break.

_______________________________________________________________

Chapter 8

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marauders-venting · 3 years

Text

Heather

pairing: wolfstar (remus x sirius), remadora (remus x tonks)

genre: fluff & angst

warnings: mentions of child ab*se

words: 1736

note: based on the song Heather by Conan Gray

a/n: originally, this was just a remadora fic but i don’t actually ship remadora (this song just reminded me of it and i was like well why not write something) and writing it made me so sad that i wrote a fluffy wolfstar ending for all the people who think wolfstar was endgame. so yeah, if you think wolfstar is endgame, I’m making a little fluffy epilogue bonus post tomorrow so dont be too sad

I still remember, third of December, me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you, only if you knew how much I liked you.

Sirius was standing on the altar, the crowd chattering in front of him, the sunlight spilling in through the windows, the excitement in the air. And right beside was Remus, beaming. He glances back at Sirius, his eyes bright with joy. Sirius smiled warmly back but his smile had never felt more forced. Thankfully, though, Remus didn’t notice. Remus never seemed to notice how much Sirius liked him, although Sirius knew that there were times when he was terrible at hiding it.

Sirius still remembered the night he realised he was in love with Remus.

Earlier that day, a letter from his mum had come in the post. It was a needless reminder of how worthless and disgraceful he was as if he hadn’t heard it enough before he ran away.

It came as no surprise to Sirius that he had a nightmare about his family later that night. He woke up drenched in cold sweat, shaking, tears streaming down his face. Remus had taken him by the hand and led him to the common room, Sirius shivering the whole way. Even when they sat by the fire he couldn’t stop shaking. So Remus had given Sirius his sweater. And its effect on Sirius was immediate. It smelt like Remus. Like hot chocolate on a frosty winter night, like fresh air, the kind that you only get after it rains when beams of sunshine break through clouds.

“Thanks,” Sirius said, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand.

“Of course,” Remus said. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Sirius shrugged. He didn’t really know what he wanted. No, that’s a lie. He wanted Remus. He still wants Remus.

Remus puts his arm around Sirius and Sirius doesn't hesitate to lean into Remus, letting the tears fall.

“Mum sent me a letter today,” he said, finally. “She said that I shouldn’t bother coming back and that they’ve already burned me off the family tapestry. As if I care about that. I chose to leave. They didn’t disown me, I ran away. There’s a difference. I never wanted to be on their stupid tapestry in the first place.” Remus nodded.

“Was that what the dream was about?” Remus asked. “Being burnt off the tapestry?” Sirius frowned.

“Not exactly. It was like she actually burnt me. Not the tapestry. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. It’s not like I want to go back. I really don’t. I hated it there. And I love being at the Potters’. It’s stupid that I feel like this.”

“It’s not stupid,” Remus said. “It’s not stupid at all, Sirius. It’s natural. They treated you horribly. Nobody should treat their kids like that. Hell, nobody should treat another human being like that. You have every right to hate them and not care about them but also be hurt by what they did to you.”

“It just doesn’t make sense though.”

“So what? Nothing makes sense. Literally all of my feelings contradict each other. It doesn’t make your feelings any less real or any less valid.” They sat in silence for a little while after that. Sirius let Remus’ words hang in the air, willing himself to believe they were true.

Remus yawned, his chest rising and falling.

“You don’t have to be here, you know,” Sirius said, pulling away from Remus and looking at his hands. “You can go back to bed. I’m sorry I woke you up. I’ll cast a silencing charm around my bed next time so I don’t bother you guys.”

“Sirius, you have nothing to be sorry about,” Remus said. “You do this for me all the time, every full moon. And don’t cast a silencing charm. You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone. This is what I’m here for. You’re my best friend, Sirius.” Sirius said nothing. He just kept staring at his hands.

“Sirius,” Remus said softly. “Look at me.” Sirius did. And when their eyes met, Sirius allowed himself to consider what he had always seen as an impossibility. That maybe Remus could love him. “I will always be here for you, okay? Whatever you need, whenever you need it. I don’t care if it’s in the dead of night or the middle of the day. I’ll be here. Okay?”

“Okay,” Sirius nodded, offering Remus a small smile. Remus smiled back and hugged him tightly. Suddenly, Sirius realised that this was all he’d ever wanted. Remus. Remus was all that he wanted and all that he needed. He’s in love with Remus Lupin. And at that moment Sirius really, genuinely believed that he had a chance. But if Remus had ever felt anything for Sirius, it was surely gone now.

But I watch your eyes as she walks by, what a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky. she’s got you mesmerised, while I die.

Now Sirius’ eyes skate over Remus in a stunning, black tux, wishing, wishing. Wishing for what? Remus is getting married today. And not to Sirius. And of course, Sirius is Remus’ best man because they’d been best friends forever. But that was all. Best friends. Nothing more. And Sirius wants so much more.

The music starts to play and the crowd rises to its feet as Tonks walks down the aisle. She’s beautiful, radiant, her white dress glimmering in the daylight, her pink hair standing out, bubbly and bright as ever but nothing is brighter than her smile.

Sirius glances over at Remus. He looks so happy. Happier than Sirius had seen him in years. His smile grew twice as wide when Tonks walked into the room. A smile that reaches his eyes. The kind of smile that he used to give Sirius when they were still at Hogwarts before everything went to hell. But this smile isn’t for Sirius. It’s for Tonks. And Sirius feels himself die inside as he hands Remus the ring to place on Tonks' finger.

Why would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty, you gave her your sweater, it’s just polyester, but you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her holding your hand, put an arm ‘round her shoulder, now I’m getting colder.

It’s been several weeks since the wedding. Remus and Tonks are back from their honeymoon and Remus’ gorgeous tan is not making anything easier for Sirius. Sirius swirls around the wine in his glass and tries not to look at Remus too much.

Remus and Tonks had invited a few friends over tonight, including Sirius. He hadn’t wanted to come but Remus had asked and Sirius just couldn’t refuse.

“Come on, Pads, please,” Remus had said. “It’ll be boring without you.”

“Who else is going?” Sirius asked.

“Some of Dora’s auror friends that I don’t know. Please come. You know I’m hopelessly awkward around people I don’t know. I need my emotional support dog. Please?” Remus said. Sirius rolled his eyes and turned into a dog. Remus laughed and crouched down, scratching behind Sirius’ ears as Sirius barked happily at him. “So will you come?” Sirius transformed back so he was sitting on the floor in front of Remus. He looked Remus in the eyes, those fiery-bright amber eyes flecked with brown that he knew so well, and Sirius knew that he couldn’t refuse.

“Fine,” he said.

They’re all around the table in Remus and Tonks’ house now, laughing, drinking. All except Sirius, who was sneaking envious glances over at Remus and Tonks, unable to pay attention to the conversation because, well… Remus.

Remus has an arm slung around Tonks. She’s wearing Remus’ sweater. Sirius watches them and wonders how he ever thought that he could hope for anything to happen with Remus. Tonks is far prettier than he is. At least, Remus certainly thinks so. And it was her that Remus gave his sweater to now. It's just a sweater, he reminds himself, trying to look away from the soft lines of Remus’ face, the curves of his lips, just a piece of clothing. But even without the sweater, it doesn’t change the fact that Remus is in love with Tonks. He likes her more than he likes Sirius.

Sirius sees the way that Remus looks at Tonks. He sees how happy Remus looks. And Sirius wants Remus to be happy. He really, really does. Remus deserves it. He deserves the whole fucking world. But despite this, Sirius still finds himself wishing that he was sitting there, the weight of Remus’ arm on his shoulders rather than Tonks’. It would be his lips that Remus turned to kiss, his waist that Remus tugged closer, his fingers that Remus held in his hand. He wishes. Sirius shivers slightly when Remus calls his name, snapping him back into reality. He turns and smiles at Remus, talking to Remus as though he hadn’t just been imagining the feeling of his lips on Sirius’ skin.

But how could I hate her? She’s such an angel, but then again, kinda wish she were dead.

Sirius might have found it easier to cope with his feelings for Remus if there had been someone to blame, preferably Tonks. But how could he hate Tonks? Even Sirius had to admit that she was incredible. She was pretty, smart, loyal, fierce and a badass. And she was kind too. She invited Sirius over to her and Remus’ house loads of times because she knew (Remus must have told her) that Sirius hated being alone. She was fun, she made good jokes. She seemed like a good friend. A good wife. But there was a part of Sirius, a part that he hated but couldn’t get rid of, that fantasized about her not existing. About Tonks being completely out of the picture. He couldn't help but wonder if things would have turned out differently for him and Remus if Tonks hadn’t been here? Sirius was glad he didn’t know the answer to that question. It might drive him insane not knowing what could’ve been between him and Remus had he only had the courage to ask sooner, but it would be worse, far worse if he knew that something could’ve happened if Tonks wasn’t an option.

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