#like i haven’t posted anything anywhere since august last year & usually i’ll have some bits n pieces i haven’t posted i like. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

devourer--of--books · 4 years

Text

I’m mad about Hunter being written off and here’s why you should be too

You: wasted potential.

Me, an intellectual: ah, Hunter and Nicola’s friendship

I have strong opinions about Hunter.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Look, I have strong opinions about many, many, things. Today, we are taking a dive on Hunter and Nicola. First I’d like to blame this post on Kate, as I decided to make it after I tried to articulate why Hunter being written off TCY makes me so angry in a huge comment under her latest OTK post but it ended up being too big and messy so I deleted it. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone elaborate on it, so if you were also mad about this, bro, not to be intense, but like, are we soulmates or...??

Before anything else, as I usually do with my text posts (which I haven’t done in a while, opsies), I shall provide you with arguably unnecessary context. Sit down, grab yourself some snacks, make yourself at home, I’m about to rant you into oblivion.

Since I know many accounts weren’t around back then, I’ll also give you the socio-political vibes of the time period, as any self-respecting half-baked essay written last minute should.

POV, you’re 14/15 year-old me. You flat iron your hair, you don’t use sunscreen, you think you’re straight and your school makes you wear those horrid low rise uniform pants, but at least you can somewhat do your make-up decently now that you grew out of your emo phase.

The year was 2016. The Ever Never Handbook has just come out. You re-watch the handbook trailer on youtube for the fifteenth time. Everyone is losing their minds over OcTObeR 14tH and “a student named Agatha ~ now Agatha of Camelot~”, as well as the portraits and the teasing for a new SGE book. Quests For Glory is announced just a few days later. 2016 tagatha ship week happens a few months down the line.

This is the SGE Tumblr Fandom Peak.

Now, let’s start right there, two-ish weeks after the release of the Handbook, right as the QFG announcement comes out.

We all knew Soman wasn’t done with SGE after TLEA. He definitely had been teasing something in his weekly blogs (lol, remember when I used to check the blog, what a time to be alive) and once we got the ENH, we got quite lot of info to theorize. Here’s some that I can think off the top of my head:

- The coven was going on a mission to find a new School Master.

- Tedros and Agatha were struggling financially in Camelot but were going to get married soon (even if Sophie doubted Tedros would have asked Agatha yet, as of the time of the Ever Never RoundTable, but we’re taking that with a grain of salt, because she was written to sound jealous here, and I won’t acknowledge that kinda of bs, she is happy for her friends okay, we’ve been though this-)

- Sophie had completely remodeled the School For Evil and was getting on Dovey and the rest of the faculty’s nerves (except for newly hired history teacher, Hort).

- The rest of the supporting cast had just graduated third year and was to be off in quests soon.

- The School was now accepting applications, and two of those applicants are Nicola and Bogden.

Now, I’m not even gonna bring up how it was mentioned in a video in EverNeverTv that Bogden would be an important character in TCY, and yet, I can’t think of anything relevant about him other than the fact that he knew tarot apparently, or how his application had more personality than him in the entire series, or how he was basically there so we could look at him and Willam and be like “oh, representation”, or how he’d be a good insight on how Galvadon perceives Sophie and Agatha post-TLEA, or- I’m just not gonna.

Oh, no. Instead, we are here to discuss Nicola’s application.

If your memory is foggy, let me remind you:

Nicola’s application is submitted, according to the Handbook, by her friend, Hunter. For convenience sake, we’ll assume Hunter is a guy (I’ll tell you why Hunter being a guy works better for me in a bit), but his gender is not mentioned anywhere in the ENH. I don’t think he has been gendered in any version (correct me if I’m wrong) or if there are any pronouns for him during TCY, but I’m fairly confident he isn’t mentioned at all.

Hunter tells us he is applying on Nic’s behalf, as she’d never apply for herself. He mentions that she is more or less the Galvadon equivalent of an activist for women’s rights, founding a rugby unisex team and campaigning for pants instead of skirts for the local school uniform, as well as having a feminist sounding book as her favorite book. It’s heavily implied that she is a jock, as he lists that, if marooned on a desert island, Nicola would want to have a soccer ball, a hockey stick and a set of dumbbells (“and none of this 5-lb nonsense”) with her.

Upon asked why Nicola should go to the school, his answer is: “because there’s a greater place for her in the world, where she can learn a girl’s true worth, and I don’t think it’s here.”

Then you have a note from (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) the very late, long, long gone, absolutely dead, August Sader, telling the Deans to accept her application, despite having no reason to do so, as Nicola was to “play a crucial role in it’s [the school’s] survival.” Dovey and Sophie agree to flip a coin to decide which school will take her, which Sophie must have lost, as Nicola is accepted into the School For Evil.

By now, I think we all agree that Nicola was done dirty. If you check my QFG re-read you’ll notice that I complained about her there. As I had to go though her introduction chapter again to make this post, let me tell you why: Nicola wasn’t written to be likeable.

She simply wasn’t. That’s the one conclusion I can draw. Whether that’s intentional or not, I can’t tell, but the backlash she received was fairly useful, as it meant Soman could write her off the main story without much backlash from his target audience (aka, not us, pesky pretentious older readers).

The Nicola I was introduced to, not only in the Handbook but on her trailer for QFG was not the girl on QFG.

Nic is there to be the smart girl™, and while I do appreciate having a character who is a bit cocky about their brains, it just doesn’t work well there. Because her bond to other characters and the way she earns their respect feels so weak, she just comes across as pretentious. Characters like Hester and Agatha, who are supposed to be smart, feel dumbed down to show us how clever Nicola is. Agatha is supposed to be the resourceful thinker and Hester wanted to be class captain, you bet she studied like crazy, she probs knows every fairytale in existence.

Then you add that to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Nicola and Hort fiasco and Nic feels like a weirdly written OC insert.

Handbook!Nicola sounded like a smart jock kind of character (read, more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw). Handbook!Nic was a Reader who read the tales as a hobby, but her favorite book is not a tale, it’s a non-fiction book (as far as I can tell). She might not be the fairytale expert, but she sounds like a practical thinker, as sport requires strategy, which is not Hester’s strong suit, given she is rather impulsive, or Agatha’s, given she is often unwilling to make hard decisions due to her Good nature and her own insecurities. C’mon, Handbook!Nic would have taken one look at Hort and sent him running to hills, because she would be able to smell his bs three miles away. She’s no one’s replacement, least of all Sophie’s (whom she probably would not have gotten along with (at least they got this part right) given Sophie’s “my prince will sweep me away from an ordinary life” phylosophy). To be honest she doesn’t sound like she’d be interested in dating at all.

But this post is about Hunter right? Let me remind you, Hunter is not mentioned in Nicola’s introduction, when she talks about her life in Galvadon. Canon!Nicola tells us that she has two brothers who want to inherit her father’s pub in order to sell the place, but Nicola is close with her father and likes working there to some extent, even if she has bigger ambitions. She believes her brothers sent her application as a way to get rid of her.

Back when I still had some faith that Soman had an arc for Nicola that included resolution, I had my theories as to why she wouldn’t mention Hunter: maybe he was to appear in later books and they’d have a huge backstory explaining their friendship, as well as a dramatic confession that Hunter sent her application because he felt Nicola deserved to live an adventure, and Nicola would either realize that she was meant for something more or that she wanted to live a quiet life, honestly either would be nice. I would have taken anything. Truly, if Nicola’s k-pop boyfriend in the OTK epilogue had been replaced with Hunter, I might be able to hate it less.

Especially if they came to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) school wedding as friends. Because you know what?

We are starved for male-female friendships in the SGE universe.

Tedros’s only female friends (all his friends in general) are Agatha’s friends (who all tried to get rid of him at some point, save for maybe Dot) and his actual friends are all dead (Bettina/Chaddick). Hort could be counted as Agatha’s friend, if only he didn’t bash her every five seconds like a moron (he literally pitched the idea that Agatha should be executed by Tedros in OTK, just because he was envious or her relationship with Sophie (not jealous, envious, because Sophie wasn’t his to begin with)) over his delusional sense entitlement of Sophie’s affections (which I hate, but as this is not a Hort-bashing post, I won’t get too much into), but the coven, Beatrix, Renna and co. would not touch him with a stick. Merlin’s friendship with Lady Of The Lake is gone, and Dovey is dead. Rhian and Kei both had that frenemies thing with Sophie in ACOT/beggining of OTK, but I think it was supposed to be romantic? It wasn’t ew (I hate Rhian but he’s also wasted potential, and so was Kei, whom I liked, rest in peace). Japeth hates women for??? Whatever. Willam and Bodgen are such background characters I could not care less about them. The new students weren’t memorable enough for me to remember their names. I think this about covers the main male cast.

There’s a lack of male friendships too, but we kinda have (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Tort and whatever was that rushed Tedros/Chaddick friendship. Rhian and Kei were gay friends (yeah, right, sure, very platonic). Tedros and Rhian could have been friends if Rhian redeemed himself, but otherwise no. Tedros and Filip… gay. Japeth literally killed Rhian, so also not very good friendship between brothers. Hort has no friends, because Ravan would so not be here for his bs. Willam and Bogden are a couple and (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) so were Aric and Japeth, I guess.

Still don’t believe Hunter was wasted potential? Okay, let me tell you what my ideal Nicola arc would be, mixing Handbook!Nicola with some canon!Nicola and including Hunter.

- Nicola is the one inheriting the pub (once she gets married), despite Galvadon’s pre-TLEA sexism and conservative views, because she is her father’s only child and her brothers are actually her older half-siblings from her mother’s previous marriage.

- Her mom died at some point early in her childhood. Not a childbirth tho, because Callis, local witch gynecologist (have you checked my post on this yet? no? you should) was there for her, even if it was a high risk pregnancy because the mom was already older.

- Because of that, Nicola’s father actually sells bread to Callis for cheaper prizes, but don’t tell the elders, shhh

- Anyway, because her mom was gone so early, Nicola was raised by her dad, brothers and by the employees (mostly men, as I don’t think it was all that common for women to work jobs in Galvadon) of her father’s pub. Due to being a girl, most guys weren’t willing to befriend her (sexism, am I right), but because she was a tomboy she had difficulty bonding with the other girls at school, even when they weren’t outright hostile (cof cof Sophie).

- Example: she and Belle had a tentative bond over their love of cooking, but often ran out of things to talk about and the conversation fell flat.

- Which is how she ends up befriending Hunter.

- Hunter is the only boy in a family of many girls and his father works all day. He has a good heart and is rather emotional, but he always feels like he has something to prove, which leads him to being rather impulsive. Both Nicola and Hunter love sports and are very competitive people. Once Nicola gains his respect, he feels very protective of her and often feels the need to stand up for her, even if she doesn’t need it.

- Nicola knows Hunter feels overlooked in his family, so she is always inviting him over and taking care of him, keeping him out of trouble. Her father begins to see him as his own son, and soon he spends more time at Nicola’s house than at his own.

- Everyone thinks they’ll get married some day. His sisters tease him mercilessly about it, and so does Nic’s father, but frankly, Nic and Hunter see each other as family.

- You can bet Hunter is the one teaching Nic about periods after asking his sisters, so she wouldn’t have to suffer with Galvadon’s horrid Sex Ed. (go check the Callis headcanon’s okay, give me clout, that it my favorite post I’ve ever made)

- They tried to kiss once. Nicola vomited and Hunter gaged.

- Hunter is Nicola’s number one supporter and fan, 100% had those gender-equality pins she made for her campaigns all over his bags and jackets.

- Since most wedding matches are arranged by the elders before girls even graduate, it was settled that Nic and Hunter would get married to each other and then inherit the pub. It would of course, be a secretly platonic match and they would suspiciously have no children (Nicola even had a plan to visit Callis to get a potion for infertility, just in case the elders wanted to check on her... okay, I’ll stop).

- Hunter doesn’t tell her, but Nicola knows he wants to marry for love and have a family of his own. She tries to talk him out of marrying her, but he insists that he would be doing it out of love for her, even if not romantic, because Nic didn’t deserve to be matched up with some stranger she barely knows who would no doubt be less tolerant of her more radical views.

- She tells him it’d be fine for him to have a affairs then, but he insists he would never do that to her, because people would talk about Nic if that was the case and her reputation would be ruined.

- The night of Sophie and Agatha kidnapping Nicola tells him she would rather be taken to the School than to stay there and make him live an unhappy life.

- Hunter is horrified (remember, everyone thought going to the school was a fate worse than death) and makes her promise to never treat her life so fickly.

- Sophie and Agatha get taken, come back, but during Tedros’ reign of terror in Galvadon, right before they return to the Woods, Nicola’s father grows very very sick.

- Nic thinks he’s going to die, and she frets, not only because they’re close but also because she can’t inherit the place if she doesn’t marry Hunter. But, well, she sort of always knew, but now that feels very real, she thought she had some more time before that.

- They set a date for the wedding, but thankfully, Tedros and Agatha’s escape ends up causing the ceremony to be delayed.

- By the time the new date is set, there’s no more elders and Stefan is now mayor.

- But just because he is the mayor doesn’t mean the law and the sexism is gone overnight.

- Nic’s father is getting somewhat better, but she is still very worried about him, because of his old age.

- Once SGE starts having applications and has been proved to be, well, somewhat safe, Hunter suggests that Nicola applies, but after the scare that she might lose her father sooner rather than later, she tells him she can’t bring herself to leave him.

- Hunter doesn’t want her to throw her life away, specially now knowing that in the Endless Woods there were people like her and that progress would get there before it ever got to Galvadon

- (He also wants to not marry someone he views as a sister, pls).

- So he files her application in secret.

- Nicola gets accepted, upon Sader’s request and Sophie’s bad luck, into the School For Evil. She and Sophie still don’t get along, the Evil castle rejects her and she gets pushed to Good, becoming an Ever, but she’s only staying until Christmas, because she is worried sick about her father.

- She thinks the application was a plot from her brothers because she doesnt think Hunter would ever betray her trust like that, after she specifically told him she wouldn't go.

- There’s no Hicola, instead, she and Hort become friends and she talks him out of his delusions with Sophie, because as much as Nicola dislikes her, Sophie was a girl too, and deserved to have her feelings respected.

- She also punches Hort into giving up his envy of Tedros and Agatha while at it, because she is just that efficient.

- Everything else up to OTK can be pretty much the same because I can’t remember what happens, other than everytime Nicola is smart girl™, it’s not “because she reads”, but because she is practical.

- Example: on the boat scene where she very pretentiously sasses Agatha for not saying hello to her (canon!Nicola, girl, she just suffered six months of loneliness at Camelot because Tedros shut her out and is now on a quest to save her happy ending, probs didn’t get much sleep, maybe cut her some slack) and then tells her how to sail a boat (despite the fact that there are no boats in Galvadon and I’m sure you can’t just read Peter Pan and learn to sail a boat, unless I did it wrong or something, maybe the storian version comes with a crash course). Here, instead, Nicola presses Hort (who is a pirate’s son) to remember literally anything to help them (therefore making him not completely useless on this quest), and he does and they tell Agatha and she’s like sure and does it.

- Now, in OTK, I literally can’t remember where Nicola was for most of it and I read that book not too long ago, so I’m worried.

- Okay, so, have the Knights Of Eleven actually serve some purpose, include a scene where Tedros and Nicola stress-play rugby and get her some internal conflict.

- Nic now loves this world. She just spent the last few weeks fighting to protect it. She is now a Knight, and she loves the adventures and the new friends she made. Can she really go back to Gavaldon to take care of a pub? Well, she needs to, doesn’t she? That’s what a good daughter would do.

- After Japeth’s execution, Nic goes straight home.

- Her father’s condition is stable, as he is being treated by Hunter and his new wife.

- Oh boy, Hunter has some explaining to do.

- Nicola is furious that he broke her trust, but at the same time, she’s happy he’s happy and well, Hunter what do you have to say for yourself?

- “Damn, Nic, nice armour- ouch, my arm!”

- Apparently, since Nicola was taken, Stefan approved a law for people to be able to leave their inheritance to whomever they wanted. And since Nic was gonna be at the Woods, her father was more than happy to leave it to Hunter. Of course, unless Nicola wanted to stay at Gavaldon.

- Does she? She’s not sure.

- Hunter and Nicola attend the tagatha wedding at Camelot (what, like I wasn’t gonna fix this part?), Hunter is Nic’s plus one.

- There, Hester, Anadil and Dot show her Sader’s note, and ask her, not to become School Master, but to become Dean Of Good, because she would be perfect for the new brand of Good to match Sophie’s Evil. You know, since she is all for gender-equality, good manners, practicality and was particularly good at dealing with Sophie’s bs.

- Since Tedros has the Storian Ring, the pen doesn’t need actual protection, well, not more than it can get from Nic and Sophie.

- Sophie herself insists that Nicola accept the position, not because she doesn’t want to be alone at the school now that Hort and Dovey are dead, no, of course not, since when did Sophie ever need anyone, she was just asking cause… cause Nicola looked lonely. The pretty boy who came with her was not her boyfriend, was he? Sophie was prettier than him anyway. Who needs a boy when they can have her?

- Whether they become a couple or not, I’ll let you decide.

- Bonus: years later, Hunter’s eldest daughter is accepted at the School for Good. Nicola is her godmother, and her favoritism shows.

There, if nothing else, the reason you should be mad about Hunter and the Handbook in general is because this didn’t happen.

#school for good and evil #The School for Good and Evil #nicola of woods beyond #Sophie of Woods Beyond #Hunter of Woods Beyond

33 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

1141

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - Do you have a favourite day of the week? What is it about that day that you like so much? I feel like I just answered this recently, but let’s go with Friday again. Always nice to fade out after work and to finally close all my work tabs and chats, and not feel obligated to reply to anyone for a couple of days.

2 - Would you describe yourself as a sociable person or not? I’m not the most sociable person, like I don’t always have the energy to be at the maximum level of perky, but I am to an extent. I no longer find it difficult to approach people and strike up a conversation.

3 - Who was the last person you spoke to out-loud? What did you speak to them about? My mom. My former director, Ysa, sent me a scented candle earlier tonight - as a parting gift since she got promoted and got reassigned to my employer’s sister company - and I just asked my mom to light the candle up because I’m scared of matches and fire.

4 - Do you prefer tea or coffee? Coffee; I never drink tea.

5 - What's your ideal weather? When was the last time you had that kind of weather where you live? Any kind of weather where the temperature is anywhere below 25ºC (which is already considered quite chilly here) is fine with me.

6 - Who was the last person (apart from family) that you spent time with? What did you get up to? Does virtual count? I had a Jeopardy night on Zoom with my orgmates a couple of weeks ago. I might miss out on a couple of people, but I was with Peter, Elis, Andi, Carmel, Robin, Laurice, and Mik. Apart from that, my uncle treated me, my kuya, and my cousin Luke to lunch the morning after said Zoom call.

7 - If you have pets, when was the last time one of them got on your nerves? Oh my god, just this afternoon. I was in a Zoom call with a client and besides our PR agency, there was another marketing agency in the call who was also pitching their presentation deck. The entire call was pure bliss on my end, no one was making noise at home – the second it came to my speaking parts, Cooper started howling and barking like crazy because idk, maybe he saw an animal outside or something?? In any case it suddenly got very loud and I got caught off-guard, and I ended up stuttering several times as I was trying to focus.

8 - Do you have to wear a uniform at work or school? If not, what do you tend to wear? The only time I had to wear a legit uniform was in private school, which I attended from preschool to high school. We do have business casual dress code at work, but that in itself is pretty flexible so I don’t really count it as a ‘uniform.’

9 - Would you rather live in a house with a swimming pool or an indoor cinema? Indoor cinema. I watch a lot of things that I’d love to be able to view with a much bigger screen - plus it’s a lot easier to maintain than a pool, lol.

10 - When was the last time you were at the beach? August 2019 :(

11 - Do you own a credit card? If so, do you currently owe any money on it? Could you afford to pay it off tomorrow if necessary? No. My parents also advise against getting my own credit card since I could pick up some bad spending habits from it, according to them. That sounds scary enough so I’m ok with my debit card.

12 - What do you tend to wear to sleep in? Does this vary depending on the time of year? Usually something light, short, and airy since I live in a tropical country that never gets to enjoy temperatures lower than like 23ºC.

13 - What do you tend to have for breakfast, if you eat it? Fried rice, hotdogs, and bacon strips are filling enough for me.

14 - If someone offered to cook you a three-course-meal of your choosing, no budget - what would you have? Oysters, filet mignon, and macarons.

15 - How many hours of sleep do you typically get each night? Is that enough to function or would you rather have more? Anywhere between 7–9 during weekdays, and like 3–4 during weekends because revenge bedtime procrastination is real. Yeah, I’d say it’s enough on both ends.

16 - Does your house have a loft/basement? Are they functional or do you just use them for storage? We have neither.

17 - When was the last time you did a load of laundry? Do you need to do some in the near future? I don’t do the laundry at home.

18 - Are you addicted to anything legal? What about illegal? I guess vaping? I’m a lot more reliant on it now versus the past few months, and I get a little restless whenever I have to charge it for an hour or so.

19 - Do you suffer from road rage? What kind of thing tends to set you off or wind you up while driving? A little bit, but I obviously haven’t had to express it in a while because of my much-lessened time on the road due to Covid. Standstill traffic is the biggest factor, but standstill traffic + stupid drivers who are impatient and end up not following the road lanes is the quickest way to irritate me and set me off.

20 - What kind of animal did you last see in the wild? Is that a common sight where you live? I have no idea, and that’s precisely because I live in the suburbs in a city which would not make them a common sight.

21 - How is your hair styled at the moment? Low side ponytail.

22 - Do you post a lot on social media? If so, what kind of thing do you tend to post on there? Not as much as I used to. I’ll probably post 5–7 tweets (versus the 50+ I’d post when I was younger) and share like 1–3 Facebook posts a day. I could talk about pretty much everything on Twitter since that’s my main dump - be it rants, my feelings, what I ate, the latest dumb thing Cooper did, etc. On Facebook I mostly share memes, at least family-friendly ones that wouldn’t alert my relatives lol.

23 - What are you watching/listening to at the moment? Nothing for either. I can hear some birds chirping outside since it’s finally getting brighter again, but that’s it.

24 - If you have multiple pets, do they all get along with each other or are there sometimes fights/scuffles? Cooper has actually finally settled down a bit so I’m starting to feel more comfortable letting him out with Kimi in the same room/floor. He understands that Kimi doesn’t like being disturbed so even though he’s in the mood to run around and be energetic and play catch or whatever, he always takes the time to tip-toe around Kimi. They’re not best buds by any means, but it’s enough to leave them be and not worry about a fight breaking out anymore. Sweet boys.

25 - What are some habits you have in common with your parents? My dad excessively blinks when he’s feeling tense or in an argument; I ended up picking that up from him. With my mom, it’s mostly phrases or expressions that she likes to use.

26 - Where's your favourite place to swim - the ocean, a pool, river, lake etc? Beaches.

27 - When you're saving your place in a book, do you use a bookmark or fold your pages down? Or something else? I either remember the page number or do a tiny dog-ear. Bookmarks aren’t the right match for me lol, I’ll most likely end up losing them.

28 - What's your favourite kind of cereal? Sweeter ones.

29 - Is any part of your body hurting at the moment? Is there a specific incident that caused the pain? Yeah, my neck had actually been seriously stiff during my last shift and I couldn’t move my head unless I moved my entire body along with it. It’s died down now but I can definitely still feel the strain. My left shoulder in particular feels very strained at the moment and I’m feeling a considerable level of discomfort from it as I take this.

30 - What was the last thing to make you laugh out loud? 2 Days 1 Night, the usual. The Korean style of video editing is phenomenal and can literally make anything funny.

#survey #surveys

2 notes · View notes

dandelliongirl · 4 years

Text

What a year

2020 was..

The last time I wrote anything it was April, and now it is the 23rd of December and I’m about to go spend Christmas with my family. My last failed attempt at christmas bread is in the oven (for some reason it didn’t proof at all, I guess I put too much flour in..) and I’m cooking up some Christmas porridge on the stove. Watch me burn that in a moment too.. For some reason this whole autumn has been a very stressful disaster. I am still working from home and just logged myself off of work until the 7th of January 2021. Maybe because I’ve been working from home it feels difficult to get into holiday mode. At least we got some snow today so it looks beautiful.

Spring and summer 2020 were an absolute dream! With no responsibilities and the possibility to work from anywhere I got to spend so much time with my family and at our summer house away from the stress of the real world. I could not have dreamt of a better summer, and apart from strawberry picking (at an actual farm, not just from my own strawberry plants) I got to finish off my summer’s to-do list. I even made a cute little summer video with my old Canon EOS 100D (yes - I have a new Canon EOS 90D now!). Endless days of exploration, swimming, biking, sauna, gardening, having lunch with the midsummer roses, baking rhubarb galettes with my own rhubarb from the garden, biking to the ice cream van, SUP-boarding with dad and spending so much time outdoors made me happier than I could ever be. I cannot believe how many beautiful things COVID has given me despite it’s awful impact on the world.

The start of the autumn semester was chaotic to say the least. Practically all of our system integrations are behind one developer, and he happened to be on vacation when everything went down, and study rights did not transfer correctly. This lead to an insane rush of support requests across the board, and lots of extra stress. I was exhausted and scared after last autumn’s disasters and definitely didn’t need another one to start the new semester. I’m starting to seriously fear August... Other universities have tens of people in their technical support, and we have TWO (sometimes 3). In more positive news I was given a permanent job contract starting August, which was amazing, and makes me so grateful especially during a year when many lose their jobs and get laid off. I guess that also contributes to my levels of stress as I cannot hide behind “I just work here for another few months”, but I have to actually take responsibility and ownership as a permanent team member.

Basically a lot of things escalated at work this autumn because our entire staff is way over burdened with COVID changes and the systems not working in an ideal fashion. Because our organisation does not have clear and defined process ownerships many changes come alongside the implementation of new systems, which puts me as a system admin (and not a process expert) in an awkward position. Hopefully our organisation will be able to develop and reconfigure responsibilities with some outside help, but for some reason my hopes aren’t very high.. All in all the anger and frustration of the organisation has been reflecting on the way people treat us and each other and as an empath it has been very exhausting. Luckily my new team is amazing and I’m having so much fun working with them - even though we aren’t physically working together at the office. I cannot imagine how it would be if my previous colleague hadn’t left. I hope she is happy and thriving as well!

All in all what got me through the autumn was the fact that I got to work from home. Being able to take a 10-15 minute nap when things got overwhelming pretty much saved me. Also the fact that I can wear whatever, make tea or snacks whenever I need to and don’t have to spend time moving from one location to the other. My guy got his own computer desk and a proper chair, and we’ve both been working from our very crammed but cozy livingroom. Even though our hobbies have been on and off I’ve gotten a few moments to myself and have also gotten used to doing my thing even though he is always here. No big relationship drama apart from the occasional little argument.

Ballet and body combat got to continue in person for most of the season. The last couple of weeks of ballet classes were on Teams, and the last body combat class was on Facebook with the season ending a couple of weeks early, but other than that having hobbies outside the house definitely helped. I have also loved having my ballet friend stay home instead of studying abroad. Obviously it sucks for her because it has meant a lot of changes to her plans, but I’ve needed her so much, and enjoyed our walks, hanging out together, going to ballet and the hours we spent outside talking on our way back. Ballet classes have been pretty easy as we only go to pointe and adult classes, but at least we are having fun together, and I like to somewhat maintain my skills even though I am not improving by miles. It’s also easier for the body as I’m definitely no longer a teenager. Starting next year we’ll have a fancy new studio!

After the relaxing summer it has definitely felt like I don’t have enough hours in a day or days in a week to do everything I need to. I cannot believe how I used to do all this and so much more pre-COVID but I guess it’s all because Animal Crossing didn’t take anywhere between 30 minutes to 5-8 hours a day. Oops. Needless to say I have been loving ACNH even though the Halloween and Turkey Day events were a bit too easy compared to New Leaf. I have high hopes for Toy Day tomorrow (YIKES! TOMORROW?) even though I haven’t had to go through the usual process of noting down all my villagers’ wishes, which I definitely miss. I am sad the diy recipe RNG has been so bad though. I’ve spent a couple of days spawning balloons on my beach, and never got the big Christmas tree diy in time. Maybe I’ll get it tonight but it’s definitely too late for this year.. Maybe next year then. I didn’t struggle this much with the maple and mush series diys..

So yeah, last summer me and my friend finished our old photography project and I edited the last sets of photos to give the finished book for her as a Christmas present. I love the project a lot because the learning curve is so apparent between photoshoots, and I found my “style” throughout the process. My EOS 100D started to get weird electronical bugs and definitely wasn’t running very well anymore, so after insane amounts of research I decided to get the EOS 90D from a Black Friday sale. I still need a memory card and a new camera bag for it since it’s so much bigger, but I’ve already planned out some future photoshoots and the theme of the new project, which can be described as “Adventure”, “Expedition” or “Discovery”. I just hope my friend will have time to model for me because I’m yearning to go try my new camera out.

My boyfriend and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary with a friend couple who started dating a week after we did. We took an extended weekend trip to a national park, a spa and a rental cabin. It was so much fun and a very special way to celebrate 10 years together. Especially with an exceptional year like this one has been.

Yesterday me and mum went to granny and grandpa’s place to help with the last of their Christmas preparations, take over some food and sing Christmas songs. I took our old piano book with me and mum played the piano while we sang. Grandpa got teary eyed during a special song and it was so incredibly bittersweet. I don’t want to lose my grandparents but I know it won’t be long since they are both approaching 100 years. I am so thankful for them, and for the time I’ve gotten to spend with them. I just wish I could remember more of it. It seems so unfair that we never have enough time with all our loved ones, and there are so many childhood memories other people remember that I don’t. I wish I could go back in time and observe myself spending time with my grandparents to memorise everything. If I ever have children I’m going to take so many photos and videos to preserve as much as I can for them.

In my post from April I wrote that I had been looking at houses and vacant lots. Well, the house of a childhood friend of mine is listed and I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve arranged my mortgage and left an offer. The sellers didn’t accept my first offer so now I’m going to see the house again on the 30th to see if it’s wort raising my offer. I like the house but it’s definitely a bit inconvenient as it is a 3 storey house and way too big and expensive for our current needs. I just really like the area and it is one of the best houses in that neighborhood. I’m going to let things progress naturally though, and if I end up with the house then it was meant to be. If someone else makes a higher offer I won’t be upset either since we have no immediate need to move. It’s just a bit crammed in our current apartment and I would definitely like to have an actual office for my photography equipment, and a sewing machine/crafting space.

Looks like my christmas bread cracked pretty badly but at least it rose a little in the oven.. Hopefully it is edible. At least the one I made for granny and grandpa turned out better.. Time to go scarf down the last of my porridge (which I didn’t burn by the way!) and then try to get all my stuff over to mum and dad’s place. Christmas preparations this year have been crazy busy and I definitely regret not being able to enjoy the season enough but hopefully I’ll get more in the spirit tonight. I’m really happy with the gifts I got mum, dad and my guy this year (online and early in October/November to avoid the rush).

I’m hoping to make a new year’s post on here as well either before 2021 or during the first week. I just like writing things down so that I can look back on where I’ve been. :)

Happy holidays whether you’re spending them with your loved ones (in real life or through a video call) or alone.

#personal #diary #December2020

1 note · View note

frauleinsmaria · 6 years

Text

The Village is a Glow (2/2)

A/N: This is the final part to my CSSS gift for @eastwesthomeisbest ! Thanks for being patient with me while I recovered from Christmas retail and tried to work out some of the kinks in the story. I hope you enjoy this as much as I’ve enjoyed getting to know you! Special thanks again to @profdanglaisstuff for beta duties and @cssecretsanta2k18 for hosting this event.

Summary: Killian Jones credits moving to the Big Apple for getting his photography career off the ground. He also has it to thank for causing his first run-in with Emma Swan, who makes him question every photo he takes afterward.

AO3

Coming to the conclusion that there was something extraordinary about Emma Swan was fairly simple. Putting his finger on just what that something was, however, was anything but.

The first time, he’d chalked it up to coincidence; a change in his camera settings, the way the light reflected off of the lens maybe. The second was enough to make him question things.

The problem was finding her. Everything he knew about Emma was limited to her name, her age, her taste in movies, and that she worked at a bookstore in the city. In a place like New York, he might as well be looking for a needle in a haystack. He’d tried looking her up on social media, feeling both a bit nosy and disappointed when he scrolled through the list of accounts of people with the same name who obviously weren’t the blonde consuming his thoughts.

Killian soon found himself just hoping that his good luck she’d referenced the day of their first meeting would work in his favor again. He’d found her unintentionally twice, and what was that they said about the third being the charm?

What would he even say to her the next time they inevitably ran into each other? Hello, Swan. Funny thing, I’ve noticed this odd golden haze over both of the pictures I took before encountering you and wondered if you would be willing to provide an explanation. Are you a witch, fairy, magician, or involved in some other kind of odd supernatural activities I’m not familiar with? Because that definitely wouldn’t cause her to question his sanity (even though he’d questioned his own every single time he looked at either of those two photos and the golden glow that permeated both.)

In the meantime, he went about his regular routine and kept himself busy with work. Ruby and Belle had been ecstatic over the photos he’d emailed them not long after the impromptu photo session in the park. Both women sent him lengthy messages thanking him and yet again offering some kind of payment for his time and the pictures. His only request was that they consider seeking him out again next time they were in the city.

(He knew it was no coincidence that the last photo with the mysterious golden glow was the picture Ruby posted on her Instagram account first and Belle made her profile image, both women tagging him and insisting all their friends consider him for sessions in the future.)

Good luck must have been on his side after all, because two weeks later, he was walking home on a Friday afternoon when he saw a familiar face framed by blonde curls standing in the front window of a store with a sign claiming itself to be Booth’s Books. He’d found it- more importantly, he’d found her. Of all the bookstores in New York, Emma Swan was working at one less than six blocks from his apartment.

Killian quickly ducked inside, the bell on the door announcing his arrival as he made a sharp left and found himself face to face with Emma.

“Oh! Killian?”

“Hello, Swan. You don’t know how glad I am to see you.”

“Do you need help finding a book?”

“Er, not exactly.” “I really hate to bother you at work, but would you have a few minutes to chat anytime soon? Or I could come back later when you’re free.”

“I’ll get a break in thirty minutes if you don’t mind waiting. There’s a coffee bar at the lounge area in the back.”

“Thank you, love. And don’t rush on account of me; I’m in no hurry.”

Killian made himself a blonde roast with cream and sat back to flip through a random magazine on a nearby table while he waited for Emma’s shift to end. True to her word, she appeared at his side half an hour later, wearing a red leather jacket over her white sweater and was pulling a gray knit beanie on her head.

“I thought maybe we could go for a walk and talk about whatever’s on your mind? The store is nice and all, but I’m sure you get why I can only stay in the place where I work for so long afterward.”

“Of course, love. I’m following you.”

She led him out of the store and into the chaos of afternoon traffic, both of them darting around other people to keep up with each other, Killian desperate not to lose her before asking the questions that had been boggling him for days now. He followed her to City Hall Park, only fitting considering their last encounter.

“I thought we may have a better chance of having a legit conversation here.”

“Aye.” The park wasn’t empty by any means, but they could speak to each other coherently without as many outside interventions.

“So, uh, why is it that you were so glad to see me? Unless you couldn’t find Granny’s on your own and needed me to give you directions to curb your grilled cheese cravings.”

“Afraid not- although that does sound quite appealing, now that you mention it.” He took a deep breath. “Swan, I’m not sure just how to approach this, but- wait.” He pulled his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans and brought up the picture of the sun he’d taken right before their first meeting. “What do you think of this?” he asked, holding it up for her to see.

“That’s really neat, especially the way the sun looks with the golden haze over the photo. Did you take it?”

“I did. I took this one as well.” He swiped through a few more photos to find the one of Ruby and Belle, showing it to her next.

“Killian, these are great pictures...but I doubt showing me your work was the real reason you wanted to talk to me.”

“It’s not so much the photography I’m concerned about. Okay, it is, but not in the way that it sounds. You see, Swan, none of my other photos look quite like these two. And these were both photos I took promptly before running into you.”

Her eyes widened. She bit her lip and glanced away from him. “So, what are you insinuating here? You think I help your ability to take good pictures?” She forced a laugh, but he could tell she was now suddenly worried.

“I honestly don’t know what to think, love. Other than this is all too concrete and specific for me to believe it was a lucky coincidence on my part.”

“Well, we have established that you tend to attract good luck.”

“I think there’s a lot more than luck behind this, love, and something tells me you’re thinking the same.”

Emma made a noise that was something between a sigh and a groan. “Would it be that hard to chalk it up to fate and that you’re a good photographer?”

Maybe this wasn’t Killian’s best idea. She evidently didn’t want to discuss whatever it was she knew about the photos. As much as he wanted answers, he didn’t want to risk making her any more uncomfortable than she already seemed to be. “I apologize, Swan. You’re not obligated to tell me anything, photos or not. I’ll let you go now, if that’s what you like. I’m sorry again if I made you uncomfortable and for taking up your time.” He turned to leave when she called out his name.

“Wait.” Was she having a change of heart? “Never in a million years would I have seen myself asking this question to a guy I’ve met all of three times, but since you seem decent and you’re so perceptive: do you believe in magic?”

“A month ago I would have said no. Now, I’m starting to feel open to anything.”

“So, I have certain...abilities,” she began. “There’s no solid explanation, but I can essentially create certain auras or illusions based on my emotions. It doesn’t happen all the time, mostly when I’m feeling pretty strongly about something. They usually look like a trick of the light or something, so most people don’t even notice something’s off unless they have tangible evidence afterward.”

“Like my photos?”

“Exactly. I’m sure it was hard for you to see past it considering it probably didn’t show up in the rest of your photos. I didn’t even know it could be captured on camera until you showed me just now.” Her eyes kept flitting from his to the ground. This wasn’t easy for her to share with him.

“That’s quite extraordinary, Swan.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “So you don’t think I’m crazy yet? Not gonna call the cops or run for your life?”

What kind of people had she had this conversation with before? “I take it people you’ve shared your abilities with in the past haven’t been very accepting.”

“That would be an understatement.” She barked out a laugh. “I’ve been called a psycho bitch by guys over this before.”

“Well, I can’t lie to you and say it’s easy to wrap my mind around all of this just yet, but I have no reason to believe you aren’t being truthful love, photos or not.”

“You really mean that?”

“Aye. Your secret is safe with me. And I can delete those two photos from my social media pages if that would make you more comfortable.”

“No, it’s okay. Two pictures aren’t enough to tip people off about anything; they probably just thought you used a different lens or filter.”

There was a moment of silence before Emma noticed the time. “I’m really sorry; I have to be back at the bookstore in ten minutes. August and Marco have been great to me so far, and I don’t wanna do anything that could change that.”

“I understand, Swan. I’ll walk back with you now if that’s alright.”

“Sure, thanks.”

They were silent on the walk back to the bookstore, Killian feeling relieved to have answers about the connection between Emma and his photos, but also unsure of where this would go next, if anywhere.

“Killian?” She asked as they walked up to the store’s entrance.

“Yes?”

“Would you, uh, be up for getting coffee again sometime? Or hot cocoa, whatever. If it’s too weird that’s fine, but, I dunno, you’re easy to talk to and I really appreciate someone who doesn’t freak out over a conversation like the one we’ve been having.”

It was the last thing he expected, but he would’ve been a fool to say no. “Of course. Nothing would make me happier.” They exchanged numbers with her promising to get in touch soon.

He received his first text from Emma not two days later. I could totally go for another grilled cheese from Granny’s if you’re free tomorrow afternoon.

With onion rings?

Fast learner. I like you.

He showed up to Granny’s the next afternoon twenty minutes early, eager to see her and learn everything about herself that she was willing to share, whether it involved her abilities or not.

Emma arrived just on time, red-faced and wearing the same jacket and beanie from a few days earlier. She dropped into the seat across from him and let out a deep breath. “Sorry, I ran from the store. I thought I was gonna be late.”

“Quite alright, Swan. I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead a few minutes ago and ordered the same thing we had the last time. You can get something else if you wish, of course, but I’m familiar with your penchant for grilled cheese.”

“You might be my favorite person in the whole world,” she said, beaming, just as the waitress walked over with their orders.

They ate and spent the next hour or so unofficially resuming their conversation in the park. It had been anything but small talk, yet they still barely knew each other. She told him about how she became aware that there was something different about her at five years old when her foster parents were in a heated argument and a cloudy haze formed around them, evidence of Emma’s distress. But she didn’t discover more details behind this part of her until later.

“I was thirteen,” she told Killian. “I had run away from the group home and was at some supermarket trying to swipe food. Someone caught me, but Lily popped up out of nowhere and covered for me. She told me she could tell I was scared; apparently, if two people with these same kinds of abilities are close enough, you can feel the other person’s emotions instead of just seeing whatever manifests from them.”

“That’s…” he struggled for the right word to say. “Well, that’s remarkable, love. So you two were able to bond over your shared capabilities?”

“Not really.” Something told him that story didn’t have a pleasant ending. “But it gave me an idea of how to spot other people like me. I’ve found half a dozen or so since, mostly in smaller areas where it’s easier to detect. It’s a nice reminder that there are other people like me.”

“I appreciate that you were comfortable and willing to share all of this with me, even just what we discussed in the park,” he told her as they left the diner. “I hope you know that I don’t take it lightly.”

“I do know. And it may not make sense, but I trust you.”

“I’ll make sure you won’t regret it.”

“Good. Go out with me?” she asked without missing a beat.

“Come again?”

“Go out with me. Y’know, to dinner, or something. Or not,” she quickly added. “That’s fine too.”

“I would love nothing more. I only have one request, if you’re up for fulfilling it.”

“Uh, sure, I guess?”

“Would you give me the honor of taking your picture?” Killian gestured to the camera bag at its usual place on his arm. “I’ve gotten to take photos that you’ve impacted twice, but something tells me one of the marvel herself would be quite spectacular.”

“You’re such a dork,” she laughed. “But okay. What should I do?”

“Stay just as you are, love,” he said, pulling out his camera and taking a handful of images while the afternoon sun was in the perfect spot to highlight her features. He quickly brought up the last photo in his media library and couldn’t help but smile at the result: Emma, beaming, green eyes full of light, and, just as he expected, that obvious golden glow he’d become so familiar with.

Killian used to think he owed New York for getting his photography career off of the ground. Now, he knew he owed the city for introducing him to Emma Swan.

#cs ff #cssecretsanta2k18 #eastwesthomeisbest #captain swan #cs au #captain swan ff #captain swan fic #cs fic #ouat fic #mine #captain swan fanfiction

21 notes · View notes

justalittlemango · 3 years

Text

Hmmm

So uh... I haven't posted on this Tumblr for a while. A few months by the looks of it? That last post was the beginning of this year. And now it's 20th August 2021.

So what happened? Also ugh the formatting on this site. Welp, my last post seemed to be a lot about my now-ex. I'll call him Tit as I think that's an appropriate name. So yeah, he did come back sometime after I wrote that post. He came back. He seemed to have been feeling better. It was nice to see him happy and things pretty much went back to how they were before, even better if anything. Sadly that was only temporary! Well, I say sadly. Sad at the time. I don't care these days.

Something happened, he lost it over me doing literally nothing. I knew he had problems with my mental health but I don't like to be accused of all sorts when all I try to do is help. I knew at that time, that was the calling point. Cutting off ties. Because my health both mentally and physically could not deal with everything he was putting me through. I cut him off. It felt sad but I knew I had to do it. And fast forward six months later, there's been no contact between us. Thank god.

So.. that was always fun.. I lost my friends who I had met through Tit. I knew that was coming as well. I can still be mad over that, but at the end of the day, who's side are they going to stick by? Mine (someone they've only known for a few months) or his (someone they adore and known for years even.) I guess the outcome here was kind of obvious. I wish I could say I didn't care it happened, but it did hurt me. When I was already going through so much hurt just seeing that was not nice. Thankfully I was never confronted before it happened, I was just swiftly deleted/unfriended/removed and that's that.

That was the second time in a 7/8 month span that I lost friends because of these love problems. So all in all? I'm pretty fucking tired of that happening lol. Anyway, these people are irrelevant now and no longer play a part in my life. So I just need to forget about them.

So did things get any better? Yes! I met someone new. My Dommy. I joined this server in attempt to make some friends and play games with (since the friends I once did that with departed..) so I thought I'd shoot my shot there. It started off okay, I was making friends and it was fun. I met Dommy in there. There was something that caught my eye about him when I would see him chatting and stuff. We spoke to each other through DMs for a bit and played games together. It was so much fun. And the more I got to know about him the more I was like ... My god ... Because I knew I was going to catch feelings for him. Everything he was telling me about himself just made the feelings grow more and more. Like he just kept ticking my boxes in what I seek in a partner.

At first I didn't wanna catch feelings, mostly due to the fact he's 18, and I was 23 (now I'm 24 so yay). I felt the age gap would've been too weird and I wouldn't usually consider anyone that's under 21 to be a potential partner. But god it was so hard to think like that when the more I learnt about him, the more these feelings kept growing. He just knew exactly what to say. His personality and everything. He's so fun and kind. So wholesome. Positive. I find him so relatable too. I definitely didn't expect this for someone who is quite frankly, fresh into adulthood. But here we are!

Heh, let's just say I tried to dim my feelings down. And it definitely didn't work. And I remember thinking at first like, oh god he wouldn't want feelings for me I'm like 5 years older than him LOLLL. But boy was I wrong! About a month after chatting and playing games together (quite frequently too) - he told me he had a crush on me. And I remember how great that felt. It felt so... fucking... amazing. To read everything he said to me. I really didn't think he'd feel that way.. I had my suspicions on somethings but they were more just me being overly hopeful. And of course, I had to tell him I crushed him back. I had the same feelings. And ever since then it just continually grows.

26th May we decided to become long distance boyfriends. We both felt ready for it. Every day and night I got to spend with him on voice chat was SO enjoyable. It was so much fun. The love kept continuing to grow and grow. The more he told me about himself, the more he truly sounded like my perfect man. My soul mate even! And he felt the same way about it all. And now we're so clingy and romantic for each other all the time and I LOVE IT!!

Fast forward to August. We still here. We hope to meet up soon. We surround ourselves with such positive romantic energy. Inspiring each other to be our best selves. Heck, we both got jobs just so we can buy stuff for each other and visit frequently. And that's where we're at. We're awaiting the day for when we meet.

I'm so grateful for him. He changed my life around. I hit rock bottom and he full on dragged me out. Showed me that I can still love. Supported me through everything. Even with everything that happened after my ex. He was there. And still today, with everything I went through.. he had my back.

I love him so much. With everything I have. To the end of days. I've never met ANYONE like him. My past relationships don't even come close to what he and I have. And the crazy thing? He feels the same.. this is just magical. See, it would be TOO good if we were living in the same country. But alas, I am UK, he is US.. a few thousand miles away. But you know what? I'm making it my goal that we'll live together. We talk about having a family, living together, going on so many dates and just doing everything together.

It's my goal. Ultimate. Life goal. I don't want to die without being able to hold him in my arms. And very soon I hope, I will be able to hold him, watch him fall asleep in my arms and whisper "I love you" right in his ear. I 100% trust him. I've never been able to fully trust anyone in my life before. Not my previous partners or anything. But my Dommy? I trust him with my life.

But are there any issues?

Nope. Not really. Sometimes I still feel a lil weird about the age gap. I'll be meeting my boyfriend who's 18, as a 24 year old.. doing lovey things lol. Sometimes I worry about what others think about that, mostly his family. My family know about it and they think it's fine, as with my friends. I hope his family are the same! I mean, it's only 5 year difference. It's not that much at all. I just overthink it and it's a ridiculous thing to overthink! Because he is my soulmate. If anybody has a problem with it, then they'll have to deal with it. Cause I ain't going anywhere. And neither is he 😏 actually I think he'd get more sassy at them than I would!

But yeah. Uh. Anything else? Not really. He's a busy lad but I love that for him. He does so much for his family. He can do so much. Working, driving, going to college.. I'm so proud of him! And I think from what I know from his childhood, he deserves to have all these nice times with his family. So no, there are no issues between us. We have never even argued yet! And I couldn't imagine arguing with him.

So I hope next time I write here.. I'd have met him in person. And experience that. It would be the best day of my life.

____

Anyway! How am I? I'm fine right now. I'm struggling a bit because I have no money left. Kinda annoyed I spent my travel moneys on myself (because I had to.) I hope that issue will be sorted next month when I get my student loan, and hopefully this job that I interviewed for yesterday! Interview lasted over an hour and I'm only competing against one other person. So.. if I get that.. the money gonna be sweet. And you already know I'll be investing in travelling to see my Dommy!

But I also want to try to do my driving lessons. Get my own groceries again and my weight gain stuff because my body is far too skinny! I want to try and get a gym membership too while I'm at it. I say all this, but where the heck am I gonna find the time to do all this? Especially as a full time student! But I think we got this. Driving lessons aren't urgent, and even so they wouldn't take long if I do lessons in an auto. Since I've driven before. So maybe I'll only need 10 lessons.

I want to go the gym and build my body a little bit. Look a bit more in shape for when I see my boy hehehe.

So yeah, lack of money is my main issue here. I can't afford to go out and get my own food and supplements. So until I get my moneys, my mood is going to be patchy. It'll be worth the wait though if things go all out to plan.

Anything else on my mind? Well.. being back here in B'ham! I don't particularly feel safe here. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be back with my parents. And not have to pay rent on a student house.. but that does come with some negatives... Quite a few negatives. These being.. lack of privacy, not being able to make a lot of noise late at night, not feeling safe in the city, issues with bathroom/showers, and the god forsaken slow internet.

Positives though? Being with my parents, in the big city where everything is, good stores and nightlife. Few friends are here. Though not too many I'm interested in seeing. Lol. I guess I'm in the middle of everything too so if I wanted to travel out of city to see someone , I have the option to do so.

So.. yeah! A lot more good than bad going on right now and thank god. Because how this year started was awful. It was literally the hardest time of my life to get through it. And everything that happened in the summer, I'm so grateful for. And my Dommy. I'm so happy he came into my life. I feel honoured and blessed to be in a relationship with him.

I hope things go to plan. I'm in my last year of university, and will be graduating next year. So that should be exciting! And then I have plans to study at BCU next year to do a master degree in UX! Which is exactly the kind of thing I want to get into! So that's a good two years of a steady income from student finance, and hopefully this part time job! So fingers crossed these plans will work out.

Those are my goals that I see in the distance. Travel to see my boyfriend, graduate and get onto that post-grad course! My short term goals. Oh and also get a part time job. Lol. My long term goals is to honestly.. immigrate to the US. I know it sounds wild. But it's what I want. I need to be with my boyfriend. Start a life with him. And spend the rest of my life with my Dommy. I don't know when I'd ever be able to live with him.. but let's just say you need to have a strong background to be accepted as a US citizen. But with the plans I got...it should work! Having a master's degree and hopefully someone will hire a UX designer from the US and sponsor me! With some luck.

How long do I think that would take? Probably sometime within the next 5 years.. I hope. If I'm lucky! And interesting to think, in 5 years I'm 28, and my boyfriend will be 23! Which I think is the perfect time in both our lives to find a place together to live and be happy.

I feel with that, being away from my parents via long distance is going to be VERY difficult. But I'd try my best to visit them for a month or so. And of course, I still want to support them even if I am living abroad.

Ok. Here is the end of the post. I hope I don't look back at this in a few months and laugh. I know not all of this will work out, but I hope most of it will! So yeah, here's to the future! To good health, happyness, and my boyfriend of course ;)

-mangiiii

0 notes

asarahworld-writes · 7 years

Text

(Not) Her Boyfriend

Notes: I’ve actually been busy attempting a longer fic, and so haven’t posted very many ficlets, let alone completed any bingo squares. So have a ficlet.

“No, Mum, I can’t ask him to take me home. Why? Mum, what if he doesn’t come back? He’s already gone and missed a year, I can’t risk that again. I know it’s been a while since I saw Cousin Mo.” Rose’s voice softened. “I know, Mum. Mo’s the only family we’ve got, too. I’ll speak to the designated driver, but ‘m starting to think that the TARDIS pilots herself sometimes. You too.” Rose hung up her mobile, thinking ponderously. Cousin Mo’s twenty-second birthday was looming, from her mother’s perception of time, and it had been nearly two years (from Rose’s perspective) since she’d seen her cousin (three years, counting the one Rose had missed, from Mo’s point of view).

The Doctor was waiting for her in the corridor. Rose blinked. “Hello,” she smiled.

He beamed. “Hullo. No detour to the wardrobe this ‘morning’?””

Rose looked down at her jeans. “Nah, I figured I’d check out the scene first, then decide if I needed a change or if I’d rather make a scene,” she joked.

“Where to?” He’d taken her hand and had his hand on the controls before she’d had time to answer.

“Mum’d like a visit,” Rose hedged.

“Saw her last week, didn’t you?” The Doctor deflected. “Anywhere and any-when, Rose! Barcelona? Did I ever tell you about Barcelona? The planet, I mean, not the city. Or Clom! Usually a rather dull planet, but Saturday mornings, the local Disney Land is a fantastic sight. People from all over the galaxy visit Clom’s Disney resorts, though they do tend to avoid the locals. Or the trees on Felspoon. Picture a sunset. Now forget it. These skies turn purple to green to orange, one of the best colour combinations in the galaxy. And when the stars appear, they’re so much brighter than the ones you lot see from Earth. Brighter, and closer, and we can go back and see them before anyone else in the universe has the chance to.”

Rose sighed deeply, smiling, thinking about all the lovely places that the Doctor had described. “It’s my cousin’s birthday,” she started uncertainly. The Doctor fixed his stare at the console. “I haven’t seen her in three years, Doctor. When we were kids, she used to get Mum to do her hair all the time. And once she had her hair done, it only took her a few minutes to put together an ‘ensemble’ (as she called it) together from Mum’s wardrobe. One for her, one for me. We were practically best mates, ‘cept for Mickey o’ course.”

“All of time and space, wherever you wish to go,” the Doctor said simply. “Powell Estate, London. What’s the date, then?”

“Twentieth of August. 2006.” Rose patted a coral strut hopefully. “But what’ll you do?” She had a sudden vision of the Doctor leaving, and this time never coming back instead of simply skipping a year.

“One might think that nine hundred years would give me some ideas of how to pass the time,” the Doctor smirked. “Time machine.”

Rose dared not suggest that he accompany her. “You’ll meet me in the flat?” She asked hopefully.

“Might,” the Doctor shrugged. “I do have a phone, Rose.” He opened his arms, and Rose hugged him.

“Yeah, but would you answer it?” Rose couldn’t help but tease.

“Might,” the Doctor repeated, noncommittedly.

“Right, then,” Rose said brazenly, “you come back at a decent hour, hear? I don’t want to hear those engines in twenty years, with some sort o’ tree woman in tow.”

The Doctor smirked enigmatically. “Go home. Rose Tyler.” He flipped a lever and Rose could suddenly hear a startled scream from outside. “That’d be your mother, I presume.”

“You’d better hope so.” She waved a finger at him. “Else you’ve got some explaining to do.”

“Me? I’m not even here.” The TARDIS began to dematerialize around Rose. She smiled sadly at the vanishing image of the Doctor until she was left staring at the blank telly. She wasn’t alone long, however, as she was quickly enveloped in a hug from her mother.

“Oh, you’re home! I nearly thought that you weren’t going to make it, said to Bev the other day. I said, Bev,”

“Mum,” Rose rolled her eyes, amused by Jackie’s antics.

Jackie hugged her daughter closer. “All right, enough about me, how are you? And be ready to leave in two hours, don’t want to be late!” She paused a moment, looking Rose over. “I suppose you’ll be needing in the loo. Must admit, I’ve sort of gotten used to taking a bit o’ time getting ready. But no matter,” Jackie smiled. “You’re home! Give me ten minutes to wash up, then you get on.” Rose nodded, absently wondering what she had in her own closet that would be nice enough to wear. She’d started to favour darker colours recently, and had shied away from the pink that had dominated her apparel.

Opening the door to her old bedroom, Rose stopped in shock. She must have stood there, staring, for a good fifteen minutes until Jackie came up to tell her that the loo was free. “Rose, aren’t you going to shower? I thought you said – blimey, that’s gorgeous.” Rose nodded.

There was a dress laying across her duvet. It was impossible not to notice immediately – the dark blue stood out proudly against the chequered pink blanket. There was a note laying off to the side. Smartly handwritten, it read:

Courtesy of the TARDIS. Wanted you to have something different for tonight if required.

Short and to the point. Rose reached out, touching the soft fabric reverently. The Doctor had remembered why she’d gone home and, more impossibly, had given her a dress (far sleeker than anything she’d ever owned) just for the occasion. If she’d ever believed in fairy tales, the Doctor was her knight in shining armour. He just never seemed to realize a knight generally kissed the princess after he saved her.

Moving on from that thought (or at least shoving it to the back of her mind), Rose quickly showered before tying up her old robe. Having heard the doors banging, Jackie shouted for her to come across the hall. Rose tightened her sash, padding into her mother’s room. Jackie promptly began to comb Rose’s hair, easily styling it into a loose updo.

The dress was easily dressed down – it was only her cousin’s party, after all – with a faded denim jacket and a pair of patterned stockings. Perhaps it was becoming a habit after spending so much time with the Doctor, but Rose opted for her boots. They were far more comfortable than any heels she owned, and she was starting to realize that at any moment, while with the Doctor at least, if she needed to start running, boots were far more practical than high heeled pumps.

The bus to Peak District was long and tiresome for Rose. It had been nearly a year since she’d been on a bus and she found that she’d quite gotten used to just appearing at her next, often unplanned, destination. She’d fidgeted nearly the whole way, making light conversation with Jackie when spoken to.

“Rose!” A grin split the older girl’s face as she raced forward to embrace her cousin. “It’s been too long!” Rose smiled, hugging Mo. “And Aunt Jaqs. How’s everything up in London?”

“Good,” Jackie answered, looking at her daughter.

“Yeah? That’s great! How’s Mickey, Rose?” Mo began a tirade of questions. Mickey, Jackie’s current boyfriend (“Boyfriends, perhaps?” “There’s always Jimbo, but truth be told, he’s pretty useless.”), the shop, the Estate. “So you finally broke up with Mickey, eh? Good on you, Rose. Sounds like he was already over you, how many dates did he go on with that Trishie girl before you broke it off, anyway?”

“Just the one,” Rose said defensively. “Anyway, he’s still my best mate. We’re just not together anymore. It just, it got so dull. Eat chips, watch football, make out a bit, and watch more footie. It was like I got stuck in some rut or something.”

“Whatever you say, Rosie.” Mo beamed. “I’ve got a couple o’ mates coming, should be here soon. They’ve promised to behave, but fair warning – they can get a bit randy.”

Mo’s idea of a party was simple. Beer, crisps, with some cheese (there was a bit of mould on the end, easily scraped off) and loud music. Nevertheless, Rose enjoyed herself. This was the atmosphere she’d grown up in, and it was a comfort to come back to something so familiar after all the aliens she’d met and the foreign places she’d seen. So of course the Doctor would slip in, practically unnoticed, looking as though he were looking after an alien threat. Her curiosity getting the better of her, Rose followed him – Mo had gone off to talk to some friends, Jackie had made her way to the drink table for another round.

“What are you doing here?” Rose stepped forward, looking at the Doctor’s face.

“Rose? I thought you’d swanned off with your mother.” He said, looking (was she imagining?) slightly crestfallen.

“M here with Mum,” Rose told him off. “Mum, Cousin Mo, few of her friends. Go on, then – why are you here and not off in the TARDIS?”

“Did you actually think that I ever left Earth when you weren’t in the TARDIS? I might be the ‘designated driver’ (as you put it) in your mind, but the TARDIS goes where she wants. Usually, we’re in agreement about where or when that should be.”

Rose was staring at him in shock. “So when I missed a year?”

“That was the TARDIS,” he bristled. “It was important that we were in London to stop the Slitheen from nuking the planet, in case you’d forgotten.”

“You still haven’t told me why you’re in my cousin’s house,” Rose repeated. It was at that moment that Mo reappeared.

“Roooose!” She giggled. “Rose, you’re missing the party over here by yourself,” she slurred some of her vowels, dropped some consonants – partly due to her accent, partly because of the amount of alcohol she had already imbibed. After a moment, she noticed the Doctor. “Hello gorgeous,” she smiled.

“Hello. I take it that you’re Rose’s cousin. Mo, was it?” The Doctor smiled tightly.

“He knows my name,” Mo half-shouted, though on her part she appeared to be attempting a whisper. “So you’re the man Rosie dumped old Mickey for, eh? Good on you Rose,” she turned back to her cousin, “he’s a real looker.”

“Mo,” Rose snapped, mortified. The Doctor didn’t know, couldn’t know, how she really felt about him. Mo looked from Rose to the Doctor and once more to her cousin.

“Oh,” she said quietly. “You’re not…”

“He’s not my boyfriend, Mo.” Rose looked over at the Doctor nervously. It was far from the first time that someone had assume they were a couple – Jabe, Adam, and even her own father had made that supposition - but it felt different to deny it to someone she knew quite well.

“Well, maybe he should be.” Mo grinned, disappearing back into the crowd.

“Sorry about her,” Rose blustered. “Does this happen to you a lot? You must have had some other friends in the TARDIS before me?”

The Doctor didn’t answer. “Funny how nearly everyone we’ve met assumes we’re together.” He said slowly. “Never happened, maybe once, before I ran into you.”

“Must have something to do with,” Rose started a quip, but couldn’t quite figure out how to end it.

“Even someone slightly telepathic – like Jabe – could sense it. Hell, even your mother could see that I was, am, attracted to you.”

That I was, am, attracted to you. The Doctor’s words swirled in her mind. Before Rose’s mouth caught up to her mind, the Doctor had turned and started to walk away, his tall frame easily parting the crowd.

“Doctor!” She called, hurrying after him. He turned, a look of disbelief on his face. Rose smiled, a smile full of hope and bright eyes full of adoration. She reached for him and he took her hands in his, a gesture that was already so familiar. But this time, he was holding both her hands – loosely at their sides – with her entire (small) family to see.

#ficandchips #ninerose #cousin mo #it's been too long since I wrote nine

7 notes · View notes

torestoreamends · 7 years

Text

A celebratory fic snippet

So last night I hit 1000 followers, which is a bit wild, and I honestly have no idea what you’re all doing here, but thanks!

I’ve been thinking for a while about what to do for the occasion. I’m not very good at prompts and I don’t have a fic prepared, but, I thought I might tell you all a bit about my WIP, which I’ve been keeping quiet about.

I haven’t posted much fic recently, but that’s because I’ve been rewriting roughly 45,000 words of this beast. I’ve been working on this thing since August, I really love it, and I’m so excited to finally share it with you all. Sadly, at ten chapters in, it’s only about half done. But now I’m concentrating on it full time I hope things will speed up.

It’s currently called Moramortia (fondly known as Sick Scorpius), and it’s set during Albus and Scorpius’s seventh year at Hogwarts.

Scorpius isn’t on the Hogwarts Express at the start of seventh year, and Albus discovers that he’s become very ill over the summer. Determined to find out what’s wrong with him and how to make him better, Albus starts doing some research, and discovers Moramortia, a fatal illness with just one cure. Together, Albus and Scorpius (with some help from Rose) set out on an adventure to find the ingredients to make the potion that will hopefully save Scorpius’s life…

I hope this fic will have something for everyone. Scorbus fluff, Scorose friendship, Malfoy and Potter family feels, plenty of angst. Drama, adventure, and visits to everywhere from Godric’s Hollow, to Malfoy Manor, to the Chamber of Secrets.

Under the cut is a little taster of the first 1500 words.

Scorpius isn’t on the Hogwarts Express at the start of seventh year. This would be alarming in itself, but coupled with the fact Albus has heard nothing from him in weeks, it’s downright terrifying.

Albus waits in their usual compartment for half an hour, pacing up and down between the seats. He sticks his head out of the window to try and peer across the smoky platform towards the barrier, but he doesn’t see anything. There’s no sign of him in the corridor either, no flash of white-blond hair among the jostling crowd. It’s weird because Scorpius is usually so eager to get to school. He’s the first one on the train every year. Albus would have expected him to buzzing with excitement for their final year, but there’s no sign of him anywhere.

When the train sets off and he still hasn’t appeared, Albus goes in search of Rose. If Scorpius is anywhere he’ll be with her, or maybe with the other Prefects.

He squeezes his way down the crowded corridors and finally finds her at the opposite end of the train, telling off a couple of fifth year Hufflepuffs for littering in their compartment. When she spots Albus coming she gives them a final stern look and promises to report them to Professor Sprout if she finds any more mess. Then she slams the compartment door shut and turns to Albus.

“Where’s Scorpius?” She asks. “He wasn’t in the Prefects’ carriage but he should have been, since he’s Head Boy. Is he hiding down the other end of the train with you?"

Albus stares at her. "You mean… you haven’t seen him?"

She shakes her head. "No, of course not.” She swishes her robes round herself and stands up tall. “I would have expected him to be more responsible. You’ll have to go back and tell him that he has duties, and if he continues to shirk them I will-”

“I haven’t seen him either,” Albus says.

Rose freezes. “Excuse me?"

"None of his stuff is in our usual carriage. I didn’t spot him on the platform. I thought he’d be up here with you, but…” he swallows. “Do you think he missed the train? Have you heard from him at all?"

She shakes her head, frowning. "I haven’t had anything from him. Not a letter all summer. But I thought he’d have written to you…"

Albus looks over his shoulder, checking the crowded corridor for any sign of a tall, skinny, flailing figure. There’s nothing. "Not for weeks.” He looks back at Rose. “I went on holiday with Mum and Dad and Lily, and when we got back he just stopped writing to me…"

Rose folds her arms and gives him a look. "Did you two have another fight?"

Albus shrugs, feeling completely lost. "If we did it wasn’t one I knew about. Anyway, Scorpius doesn’t stop writing when we fight. He writes even more, whole essays about how much he hates me. It’s like his brain won’t shut up."

Rose unfolds her arms with a desperate flourish. "Well… Maybe he’s on holiday!”

Albus sighs. “It’s the first day of school, Rose. It’s the first day of seventh year. Of course he’s not on holiday."

"Just a suggestion,” she says, a note of defensiveness in her voice. She looks out of the window, staring over the passing houses, like she’s hoping to find the answer written in the sky. “Maybe he’s ill,” she says.

Albus snorts. “He’d have to be pretty ill not to come to school. He loves it here. I think even if he was dying he’d find a way to drag himself here."

Rose adjusts her Head Girl badge and frowns off into space. "What about his dad? Maybe something’s wrong with his dad. Has your dad mentioned anything? He’s friends with Draco.”

Albus shakes his head. “Nothing…”

“Well, maybe you should write to him and check."

Albus nods thoughtfully. "That’s a good idea… maybe I’ll go and do that now. I’ll see if he’s in any of the compartments on the way. You never know, he might have had a sugar crash and fallen asleep in one of them or something.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Rose says. “Anyway, I’m going to go and yell at those third years who nearly set their compartment on fire earlier. I mean really, letting off fireworks on a train. How stupid do you have to be?” She sets off, then stops dead and looks back at Albus. “Do you want me to come and find you later? I can help with the letter if you want."

"I think I’m capable of writing my own letter,” Albus snaps. He hadn’t intended to sound so short tempered, but he can’t help it.

Rose holds her hands up. “Just offering. You don’t have to get all touchy about it."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Sorry. I’m not touchy. Just worried."

Rose puts a hand on his shoulder. "I’m sure he’s okay."

Albus meets her eyes. "I really hope so.”

He sends his letter out that afternoon, then spends a lonely night stuck at the end of the Slytherin table without his best friend. The Sorting feels dull, and the Feast is tasteless since there’s no Scorpius to enjoy them with. It’s like all the life and colour has been sucked out of the world.

The worst part of the evening comes when he goes up to the dormitory and has to try and sleep beside Scorpius’s empty bed. He tosses and turns all night, wondering and worrying, and getting very little sleep. It’s a relief to get up and go to breakfast next morning.

Thankfully, his dad’s reply comes while he’s sitting there picking at his bacon. He nearly knocks over his goblet of pumpkin juice in his eagerness to untie the letter. Wiggles, the family snowy owl, hoots indignantly at him, and he strokes her head and feeds her a bit of toast crust to make up for his over-excitement. Once he’s freed the letter from her leg he glances up at Rose and waves her over. She glances around then dashes across the hall to sit in Scorpius’s empty seat.

“You know we’re not supposed to switch tables at meals,” she hisses, ducking her head and looking up at the staff table to see if she’s been spotted. “We’re setting a bad example to the kids.”

“Whatever,” Albus says. “We’re seventh years. The rules don’t apply to us anymore.”

“That’s not even a little bit-” She breaks off at Albus’s look and tuts. “Fine. Show me this letter."

Albus shoves the cornflake bowl and toast rack out of the way and smooths the letter out on the table between them.

Albus,

Glad to hear the train ride was okay. I know Professor McGonagall was a bit worried about all those high winds around the border.

I agree it seems a little odd Scorpius wasn’t there, and no, I haven’t heard from Draco in a few weeks, not since we got back from France. I’ll keep an eye out for him at work and if I hear anything I’ll write. Hopefully they’ll turn up soon!

Good luck with the term. I’m sure you’ll be excellent. Are you planning to take the advanced Apparition lessons if they’re offered? It’ll give you a great head start for Auror training. I wish I’d had chance to take them.

Constant vigilance, and keep in touch (at least let us know you’re alive this term, your mum was really worried last year when you didn’t write).

Love,

Dad

"So Draco’s missing too?” Albus says, glancing across the table at Rose.

She sighs and folds her arms, leaning on the tabletop. “Now you’re going to worry more, aren’t you?"

Albus stares down at the letter again. "Of course I am. What if someone’s kidnapped them? What if… What if Delphi or someone broke out of Azkaban and kidnapped them?”

Rose tuts. “Do you have to be so dramatic? They’re probably fine, Albus. And no one’s broken out of Azkaban in years.”

“But what if-”

Rose shakes her head and taps a finger on the table. “Speculating is just going to make you even more crazy. Let’s just assume everything’s fine for now-”

“Which it isn’t-”

“And then,” Rose continues forcefully, “we can reassess when we get more information in the future. Okay?”

Albus looks at her, takes a deep breath, and nods. “Okay."

He doesn’t feel like assuming everything is fine. He feels like his whole world has been turned upside down. He’s only been at Hogwarts once before without Scorpius and it had been hell then, too. The sooner Scorpius comes back, the better.

"Good,” Rose says. She reaches out for the toast rack and pushes it toward Albus. “Now stop stressing and eat something. It’s our first day of seventh year classes! We have to be on top form."

Albus picks up a piece of toast and takes a bite of it. "I’m not sure I’ve got a top form,” he says, through his dry mouthful of crumbs.

Rose rolls her eyes at him.

#Harry Potter and the Cursed Child #Scorbus #Scorpius Malfoy #Albus Severus Potter #Rose Granger-Weasley #cursedchildnetwork #Keep The Secrets #Mayhem to the nth degree #honestly #this fic is like my masterwork of angst #I'm so excited about it #and I hope you'll all enjoy it when it's finally done #I mean #when I say enjoy...#It's one of my fics so it's painful as hell #but sometimes pain is enjoyable?#Isn't that why people do sports?

73 notes · View notes

saltyace-defunct · 7 years

Text

A (Somewhat) In Depth Analysis On Why (And How) Danny Phantom Should Go Ghost Again

Part One - Three Possibilities

There are three possibilities as to what is going on with all the hype surrounding the return of Danny Phantom, and these can be simplified as the “good,” the “bad,” and the “ugly.”

The good option, which I personally believe is the least likely, is that Nickelodeon HAS greenlit a fourth season, and we just don't know about it yet because it's so early in production. If this is the case then we probably won't see any news or promos until at least 2018, seeing as how the hype train really got its start around August 24, 2016, when Butch uploaded a video called “Danny Phantom 10 Years Later” and the green light would have happened not long after that. Again, this seems extremely unlikely, but if it's true, then Butch has been doing a good job building up hype while keeping it a secret.

The bad option, which will be the main focus of this post (and also isn’t so bad), is that as much as Butch wants to bring the show back, Nickelodeon isn’t so keen on the idea, and that's why he’s turned to the fandom to build up hype, and THEN maybe Nick will listen.

The ugly option is… Well, it’s ugly. I hate that this is even a possibility, but as I’ve stated before, the good option is the least likely, making this one a decent possibility. Maybe there are no plans to #goghostagain at all, and the hype is all just a ploy to rake in the views and attention. Maybe it's all just one big promotion for Bunsen Is A Beast (which by the way I think is a sub-par show, but I'll get to that later). It’s disappointing to think about, but if it is the case, then here's what I have to say: Butch, you are better than this. If you aren't serious about this, then don't go around trying to get people excited for something that doesn't exist. Please and thank you.

Part Two - Forget The Hype

I wouldn't be surprised or upset if nothing ever came out of all this hype, but since we’ve come this far we might as well take the extra step to convince Nickelodeon this is a good idea. Of course, there's not a whole lot the fans can do to sway the opinions of the executives, and at this rate we’re DEFINITELY not going anywhere. Most of what I've seen has been “I love this show so you should bring it back” with no other reasoning. It's all based on pathos with little to no logos or ethos, and that's what I'm hoping to make up for with this analysis. There are plenty of reasons for Danny Phantom to get a fourth season, it's just a matter of letting them be heard through the multitude of YouTube videos saying “Look, Butch said this one thing this one time!! Season 4 confirmed!!!! I am so HYYYPE!!!1!!!!1!”

Part Three - The Passage Of Time

Like many good shows, it ended too early. Apparently the ratings were a bit too low for Nick’s liking, so they told Butch to find a way to end it. (I don't have a very good source, so if you can find one with real numbers and add it in, that would be great.) This is a common trend. Good shows don't get the advertising and promotion they deserve because the network wants to spend more time on their cash cows like SpongeBob and Teen Titans Go, and then the good shows get cancelled because, “Well no one was watching it, so it's not worth keeping, right?” Then, as the years go by, more and more people find the show and say “Why was it cancelled? It’s so good!” The good news here is that if an old show comes back with a much larger and stronger fanbase, it will do really well! Unfortunately there is one problem with the way the fans will probably watch it, and that is the internet. After watching the original episodes online, that's the way they’re probably going to expect to continue watching them. This was a HUGE problem with The Legend Of Korra! (Again, source needed) So I guess this is more of a message to the fans than the executives: Watch the show on the TV, or AT LEAST set it to record!

Another problem that The Legend Of Korra had (it's really only a problem in the eyes of the execs) is that the audience was mostly adults and older teens. You know, the people who either 1) Where the same people who originally watched The Last Airbender and are now a bit older, 2) Were old enough to use the internet in a way that allowed them to find ATLA in the first place, or 3) Are the type of people who enjoy more in-depth, plot-driven, mature-themed shows. I think that the third option is what networks like Nick, CN, and Disney are most afraid of when it comes to choosing which shows to pick up and air. These channels are supposed to be for kids, right? Well, first of all, these networks are wrong to think that kids can't enjoy more complex shows than SpongeBob or that the most important thing in determining a show's worth is how much money it brings in, but I digress. Instead, I’d like to talk about how Nickelodeon SHOULDN'T worry about having a repeat of TLOK if they were to continue Danny Phantom.

Part Four - Plot And Audience

Unlike the Avatar series, which were extremely plot-driven and weren’t afraid to get a bit dark, Danny Phantom is a lot more episodic in nature. Now, if it were too episodic, then I probably wouldn't be arguing for it to come back. I mean, I love My Life As A Teenage Robot, but there’s no real reason for it to come back other than the usual “This is one of my favorite childhood shows! Why did it have to end?” You see, Danny Phantom had a nice balance of episodic plot vs overall plot that made for a great show for kids and teens alike. If it were to come back using the original formula, it would probably do really well with the “intended” audience of preteens. Hardcore fans (the ones who have been begging for a fourth season ever since it ended) might have mixed reactions, though. It all depends on the direction the show goes.

Again, the original formula will work, but what exactly should the plot be? Should there be a time skip or not? These are all questions that I’ll talk a little bit more about later, but ultimately can not answer. The biggest question that I CAN answer, though, is should it cater more towards the new preteens audience or the older, hardcore fans? The answer is a resounding “HARDCORE FANS!!!” We KNOW there are plenty of things that were planned that didn't make it in, and we want to see them happen in a way that satisfies our nostalgia and our (slightly) older tastes. I personally think that even though the episodic nature works from a business standpoint, this continuation should have just a little bit more of an overarching plot. Just a little bit.

Part Five - Butch’s Other Shows

I don't want to dwell on this topic too long, but it's important enough that it's worth mentioning.

Fairly Odd Parents: To put it bluntly, it's dying. We could talk about how Sparky and Chloe are terrible characters, but there's no point because the whole show has been moved to NickToons. It's the channel where Nickelodeon shows go to die, and as unfortunate as it is that FOP has been drawn out to the point that the original fans don't like it anymore, soon enough it will get low enough ratings that it will finally be cancelled. Rip

TUFF Puppy: I didn't really watch this show, but from what I've seen and heard, it's not that great. I mean, it's not horrible, but it just doesn't have a whole lot going for it that makes it worthwhile to talk about. It ended in 2015, so whatever.

Bunsen Is A Beast: This is another show that I haven't seen a whole lot of, and I don't really want to. I feel that even though it has a good message of being inclusive and stuff, it doesn't really go about it in a unique way. You know what show has a similar setup of a character from another dimension going to a human school but is actually good? Star vs the Forces of Evil. I know I'm not the intended audience for Bunsen, so I'm not really in a position to complain, but between it's obnoxious loudness, ugly characters, and seemingly random-for-the-sake-of-random humor, it isn't as good as it could be. Don't get me wrong, I respect Butch for trying new character styles and whatnot, but it just isn't working.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that there IS room for Danny Phantom to return. FOP is dying and it wouldn't hurt for Bunsen to die off as well. Good programing is what we should be after, not money makers.

Part Six - Questions And Suggestions

This is the part where I re-introduce the hype and fangirling. It’s not part of the main message that the show should come back, but it is important for the follow up question of how. So here are some important questions for Butch. *Takes a deep breath*

How will season 4 go? What’s the plot? Is it gonna pick up where it left off or will there be a time skip? How big of a time skip will it be? Will the intro be the same or will it be something new? What, if anything, will be retconned? What new characters will be introduced? When and how will Vlad return from space? Did Vlad meet Wheatley? Will Dark Danny make a return? Is Danielle gonna be adopted by the Fentons like you said? How are you gonna make up for the fact that the technology is so outdated? What about the Unworld and the Elsewhereness? What is the meaning of the universe??? *Incoherent screaming*

…I might have gotten a bit carried away just then.

Well, time to answer some of my own questions. I think that a decent sized time skip would be a great way to have the characters age with the show’s original audience, and it would also avoid any weirdness with the outdated technology. I’m not sure how big it should be, but 10 years does seem like a good benchmark number. If there is a time skip, this could also be a convenient excuse to brush over a lot of nothingness and say “It took Vlad [this long] to find a way to return, and now, after a long time of peace and quiet, the main antagonist is back to wreak some havoc.” Maybe the first episode of the new season could be a recap and summary of everything that happened between seasons 3 and 4, including an introduction to the new plot. There should be little to no retconning because this is a continuation, not a reboot. If something small needs to be changed to help the overall flow of the story, then so be it, but don’t go erasing the entire last episode just so Danny’s powers are still a secret or something like that. There should definitely be a new intro and theme song that are more related to the new story, even if there isn’t a time skip. The overarching plot should heavily focus on that Elsewhereness stuff mentioned in the video “Secrets of the Ghost Zone Revealed” and somehow include the conflict of ending up in the Unworld. As far as new characters go, I would much prefer to see older characters more in depth, but a few new villains couldn’t hurt. Dark Danny NEEDS to return because he’s my favorite character of all the one-off villains, he’s the only one with an entire two-part episode dedicated to him that basically ended with the promise of his return that never got the chance to happen. I only mention this guy above all the other villains because he’s my fave he is literally an alternate version of the main character. And if there is a 10 year time skip, then that would make Danny the same age as his evil counterpart and--

You know what? I could go on about this hours, but this post is already long enough as is, and I don’t want to turn it into a fanfiction. I think I’m going to leave this here for now and allow all of you to add on to it as you wish.

Part Seven - Sources???

I’m really bad at including sources, so if any of you can find good and relevant ones for me, that’d be great. Just reblog this post and add them along with any other comments or theories you have related to the return of Danny Phantom. Let’s make this one big cluster of ideas, and hopefully we will one day see that our efforts have paid off.

#danny phantom #goghostagain #butch hartman #long post #nickelodeon

97 notes · View notes

balancegym · 7 years

Text

Meet the CrossFit Balance Regionals Team - RACHEL WEISS

How long have you been doing CrossFit? What are your favorite things about the sport?

I started CrossFit in August of 2012, so It's been over 4 1/2 years now! What I first fell in love with are the results. But I also love the challenge, there is so much to work on, and I think it's so much fun to work on increasing your lifts, or getting that first muscle up. And, like most people I didn't know the first thing about weightlifting before I started CrossFit, and that has been one of the best parts of doing CrossFit. I think a lot of women are intimidated by weight training at first, and I was no exception. I just love the intensity and the group training environment....ok, I guess I love everything!

How many times have you competed in the CrossFit Regionals in the past?

This will be my third Regionals. I competed as part of the CrossFit Resilience team in the North East Region in 2015. Last year I qualified as an individual in the MidAtlantic

What are your goals for the CrossFit Regionals this year?

So this year feels very different. When I went on a team 2 years ago, we literally got the very last spot. We finished in 12th and we were just thrilled to be there. Same sort of thing last year, I didn't expect to qualify as an individual. So I just went in with the mentality to put my best foot forward, and I was happy with that. This year is different, we are coming in as the 1st place team, so the obvious goal is we want to make it to the CrossFit Games. I have never gone to Regionals with that kind of expectation, but I'm a big believer in setting big goals. We want to make the top five.

What are you most looking forward to for the CrossFit Regionals? What are you most nervous about?

I'm most nervous about the pressure, about the expectations, like I said previously, I have never gone into Regionals in that way. But that's also what makes me excited. CrossFit Balance isn't necessarily a team that is on everyone's radar, so I'm excited to come in and show what we can do. I have a lot of confidence in our team and excited just to show what we can do!

How has your training been going so far? How many hours a day do you usually spend training?

Training has been going well. Post open we have shifting up training schedules a bit to maximize the amount of time we have the whole team together, so we can practice things like the worm all together. I typically train 5 days a week, anywhere from 3-5 hours depending on the day.

What does a typical day of training look like for you? A typical week?

Like I said, Regionals training has shifted up my training schedule a bit. But right now I train Tuesday and Wednesday, rest Thursday, and train Friday, Saturday, Sunday (to mimic a Regionals weekend). Week where I am working I will squeeze everything into one big morning session, and on days when I'm not working, or on weekends I'll typically do a morning and an afternoon session.

How often do you train with the rest of the CrossFit Balance team, versus training on your own?

Fortunately, almost all of my training is with at least one of my team members. Some of the guys have to train at different times on week days, but we try to get the whole gang together for the Friday, Saturday, Sunday training. It's not always possible, but we all made a commitment to this team, and prioritizing training together is part of that.

How is it different training for the team competition than as an individual?

It's a completely different mentality. You still have to be on top of your own strength and conditioning, as well as working your weaknesses. But we incorporate a lot more team workouts and lot of synchronized movements (which are a completely different beast). We have to know each other's strengths and weaknesses, work on communication, and moving like a well oiled machine. Missing reps or losing time on the "choreography" of a workout becomes much more important in team workouts. Honestly, a lot of time when we make a workout into a team workout it becomes so much harder, you may have less overall "work", but the amount of time you are working for is at such a crazy high intensity. In a lot of team workouts pacing goes out the window, and for the amount of time you are working, it's a complete sprint.

Are you doing anything different to prepare for the Regionals this year than in previous years?

I think the biggest change is just trying to be a good and supportive teammate. Not that I haven't done that in previous years, but I have more experience under my belt than my last time going team, so really just trying to put my all into every workout and bring positive vibes to every training session. My attitude and my mentality have the ability to affect others, and I try to be mindful of that....I'm not perfect, but even on bad training days, I can have a positive outlook, even if my body doesn't want to cooperate.

Was there anything that surprised you during the CrossFit Open this year? Are there specific times of workouts you're expecting in Regionals this year?

I mean dumbells were the real game changer, that was new. I was surprised we didn't have ring muscle ups this year. I was surprised by how much the last workout hurt me as an individual, but that just gives me something to work and improve on.

For Regionals, heavy weight for sure, I would be surprised if we saw clean and jerks this year for the first time in a while. It's hard to guess, I'm guessing we will see some familiar things, true form running, maybe some heavy dumbells...I would love some d-balls. But the big news, is we are definitely going to see the worm this year!

Are you following a nutrition plan while you're getting ready for regionals? How do you change your nutrition in preparation for the competition?

I'm not following any strict plan. Last year I was counting macros around this time and lost a lot of weight. I'm definitely heavier this year, but I feel stronger, and better at every movement, so I'm not willing to cut, especially if it negatively affects my training. I have a general idea of what macros I need to hit, and I do weigh and measure some meals, but I'm also listening to my body. If I'm hungry, I'm going to eat. I've really just been focusing on more variety, I was getting pretty bored with my regular meals, so working on lean protein, good carbs and quality fats in appropriate ratios, plus lots of veggies. But an indulgence now and again is ok too.

What does a day look like, food-wise? What's your go-to healthy meal, either to make at home or eat on the go?

Like I said, I've been changing it up a bit, just to get more variety. I do a lot of turkey or chicken, white rice, and lots of vegetables. A quick easy meal is to cook up some ground turkey, add salsa and some cumin/chili powder. Serve over spinach and cabbage, with some white rice, olive and a little bit of guacamole. It's super simple, and super yummy, and you can adjust the macros to whatever you need!

How do you balance training for Regionals with everything else in your life? What do you like to do when you're not training?

Well, training does take up most of my time, haha. But I’m also engaged, so I spend a lot of time planning our October wedding, and spending time with my fiance. He is actually a powerlifter here at Balance, so obviously we like to lift together as well.

But other than that, low key things. Going to movies, reading, cooking, and spending time with friends and family. I should add that my best friends in DC are the ladies on the team, which is pretty great for me that I get to spend so much time with my friends!

What's something you wish more people knew about CrossFit/CrossFit competitions/etc.?

Great question! I wish people knew that you didn't have to be as crazy as me to do this. The vast majority of people that do CrossFit do their hour a day, love their gym and see amazing results. I love being competitive with CrossFit, but I also know that people like me may scare off people that could really benefit from CrossFit. CrossFit is for everyone at any fitness level. You just have to be willing to walk in that door, work hard, and check your ego. Just come in and we will help you. I hear so many people say that they would need to get in shape to do CrossFit, which is so frustrating, because CrossFit is how you get in shape! Everyone in this gym is working at their own level. And I just want people to know how inclusive and welcoming CrossFit is. There was a time, over 4 years ago, when I first walked into a CrossFit box, I had no idea what to expect, and I definitely didn't know if would change my life, but I took the plunge, and I haven't looked back since!

#crossfit balance #dc crossfit #crossfit dc #crossfit regionals #rachel weiss #crossfit regionals midatlantic

1 note · View note

bluegrasshole · 8 years

Text

Adam Birkholtz’s Foolproof Guide to the Perfect Birthday

because i never posted it on tumblr in full and i’m craving that sweet validation. holsom fluff ???? two words i never thought i’d say. there are dick jokes tho so don’t worry i haven’t been kidnapped. 6k and rated T for “total drama holster”. content warning: ABBA

ao3

As far back as he can remember, people have told Adam Birkholtz that he is too dramatic. It’s usually said in an exasperated tone, by his parents and schoolteachers and coaches -- that Birkholtz boy is quite the character, or Adam, do you have to be so loud? they say, and then sigh. Sometimes it’s said with amusement, often when he first meets new teammates or people at parties -- is he always like this? And someone -- ok, usually Jack or Dex -- nods and rolls their eyes and says you have no idea. Point is, people say it all the time, even though it’s definitely not true. And now he’ll never, ever get the chance to prove them wrong, because on March 28th, 2016, Holster’s going to die.

March 28th, 2016, Justin Oluransi, co-captain of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team and love of Holster’s life, is turning 23, and Holster doesn’t know what to do about it. It’s in a week, and he’s got nothing.

They’ve long since had a rule for holidays and birthdays and anniversaries to forego gift-giving in favour of less stressful things like dates and hat tricks, so at least he doesn’t have to worry about that. It’s just, he’s been busy – being co-captain and co-Haus-supervisor is a lot of work, and his fourth year classes have been kicking his ass, and they’ve been practicing more than ever trying to rebuild the team post-Jack, and playing too, and he and Ransom been having like, a lot of sex, and – fuck. So he hasn’t had much time to plan anything for Ransom. And it’s kind of freaking Holster out.

The thing is, he wants it to be perfect. Because, well, he loves Ransom. Duh. They’ve only been together for 152 days (and 3 hours) but really, they’re both on the same page about the whole together-forever thing. Even when they weren’t dating, being apart for any length of time was never going to be an option. They’re like, soulmates or something. Swolemates, if you will. They put the romance in bromance. And the sex is swawesome. Double duh. So Holster just wants this birthday to be unforgettable, because it’s a first out of many firsts and also their last year as students in the place they met, and just – he needs it to be good. Alright?

On the 20th, Holster does what any desperate man in his position would do: he turns to sitcoms for help.

It only takes four episodes of Full House, six of Modern Family, and a whole season and a half of Friends to conclude that really, Ross never deserved Rachel at all, and that this plan is a totally inefficient use of his time. He’s still exactly where he started, with his heart rate sitting between light jog and Chowder touching a puck off the ice, and getting closer to that time Nursey spilled some vodka-cran on Dex’s laptop by the minute.

He walks into the Haus after his afternoon class on the 22nd to find Bitty struggling through some French grammar with Jack on Skype, as has become a normal sight in the past few months.

“Hey guys,” he says, properly dejected, and throws his bag down and thumps into a chair. It creaks ominously but he ignores it to lean his chin on his arms and sigh.

“Holster?” Jack says. Bitty nods and turns the screen so it captures half of each of them. Jack waggles his fingers at him and Holster can only muster up the will to show his teeth and nothing more.

“Everything alright?” Bitty says.

“No,” he says, and then, like a stroke of brilliance, it comes to him. Why does he have to do all the thinking and planning? He’s surrounded by people who know Ransom nearly as well he does, isn’t he? He sits up fast, and both Jack and Bitty blink at him, frowning.

“It isn’t?” says Bitty slowly.

“Uh, not yet, but it’s fine, I think. Hey,” Holster says, “what is like, your ideal date? Hypothetically.”

Bitty reddens instantly and glances at Jack, whose frown has turned into a confused smile.

“Oh,” Bitty says, “um. Hypothetically? Maybe, uh, cooking together, then bringing what we made to have a picnic in the sun. You know. Bring a few beers, some sandwiches, pie. There’s a nice river by my house with a clearing that’s kind of hidden from -- oh. Um. Hypothetically, that kind of thing.”

In Providence, Jack coughs. “We did that this summer,” he says.

“And wasn’t it nice?”

“It was,” Jack says. They share a heated glance, which is impressive given that Jack’s face is on a computer screen. Sounds like it was probably nice and naked, Holster thinks, which honestly sounds like right up his and Ransom’s alley. Except, well, they don’t cook much, and it’s March. There’s snow on the ground. So. That’s out of the question.

Bitty’s phone trills and he jumps up. “Alarm for my laundry. I’ll be right back.” He pats Holsters shoulder quickly and leaves.

“Nothing planned for Rans’ birthday, huh,” Jack says, leaning closer to the screen. Holster knows for a fact that Jack has all his friends’ birthdays in his phone and the alarms are set to ring a week in advance, the day before, and the morning of. Goddamn organized bastard.

“Don’t wanna hear it,” Holster grumbles, crossing his arms. “What’s your answer?”

“Okay, okay. Don’t tell Bittle but,” Jack says, lowering his voice, “I’ve rented out the rink at the Rockefeller for a private hour-long session for us around midnight on New Year’s Eve.”

Holster isn’t able to describe the sound that comes out of his mouth -- half laughter, half squeak, half snort. Oh, whatever. So he’s never been that great at fractions.

“How much did that cost you?” he says, his voice sounding strangled even to his ears. “That’s in nine months!”

Jack just shrugs. “Think it’ll top a picnic?”

Holster gapes. “I -- Jesus, Jack. I can’t do that for Rans.”

Just then, Bitty walks back into the kitchen with a laundry basket full of hot clothes and sets it down with a clatter next to the table. He cracks open a can of beer he must have brought from downstairs, and takes another from the top of the basket and waves it at Holster. A drink sounds nice right about now, actually. He takes it gratefully.

“Hm? Can’t do what?” Bitty asks.

“Hiking,” Jack says rapidly.

“It’s true. I hate hiking,” Holster says. “And nature. Fuck trees.”

Bitty frowns. “You and Ransom went on a camping trip in August. You said, and I quote, that you are the Kings of the Forest, Sires of the Squirrels, and Lords of the Leaves, and that if you could take the earth’s hand in marriage, you would, and you’d ask the rivers to marry all three of you as Justice of the Peace. Actually, I think I have a screenshot. Here, look--”

“Uh, I developed an allergy to dirt over the winter. Gives me this rash, like, down there. Super painful.” Ignoring once more the creak of the chair under his weight, Holster slides it back. “Gotta go. Thanks for the help!”

He drains the can of beer in thirty seconds -- not quite a record but fast enough that he’ll have to tell Rans about it later -- and runs out to the tinny sound of Jack’s laughter before Bitty can ask any more questions.

The next day finds him following the frogs to Annie’s after practice, because Dex has a shift and Chowder and Nursey need to study, and Holster still has a capital-P-Problem.

“Oh! I’m so excited you’re going to study with us,” Chowder says as he pushes the door open to the sound of the tinkling bell. The warmth and the scent of coffee wraps around them and Holster breathes in deep. “I’ve been meaning to pick your brain actually, about this stats project I think you did last year? With that cool prof, Daigle?”

“Hm?” Holster’s momentarily distracted by the sweets display, but shakes his head to clear his head of chocolate chips and turns back to Chowder and Nursey. Dex goes behind the counter. “Oh, yeah, I’ve still got it on my computer. Yo, uh, I’ve got a question.”

“So do I,” Dex says, tying his apron around his waist and making his way to the register. “What do you want?”

Nursey leans on the counter and winks. “Surprise me.”

“You’re getting black coffee,” Dex says without pause. He types it into the POS quickly and doesn’t look up.

“With a surprise?”

“No.”

“A surprise shot of hazelnut?”

“I guess you’ll find out,” Dex says. “What about you two? Nursey’s treat.”

Holster orders something sweet as Nursey splutters a half-hearted protest and Chowder gets something that has a colour vaguely reminiscent of milky tub juice (never again, he reminds himself), and they stand at the counter watching Dex make their drinks with the same agility and confidence that makes him a great player on the ice. For a second, Holster is envious of that calm, because he himself hasn’t felt very calm lately, and then remembers that this is Dex, and calm is the opposite of his natural state of being anywhere else.

Five days, he repeats over and over in his mind. Five days left to plan something for Ransom.

“What is like,” Holster starts, readjusting his laptop bag on his shoulder, “your ideal date.”

“Sharks game!” Chowder says immediately, to no one’s surprise. “Or, huh, maybe bowling. Bowling’s fun. Cait and I love bowling.”

“Mm, nothing says romance quite like putting your feet in stinky shoes worn by hundreds of other people,” Dex says. He hands Nursey his drink -- decidedly not just black coffee -- and starts in on whatever grassy thing Chowder wants. It probably has kale or something in it. Ew.

“What do you know about romance?” Nursey asks.

Dex ignores him. “Look, Holster. It’s easy. Go to Jerry’s. You can sit for a while, it’s cheap, there’s food, good beer, a pool table for when the conversation gets awkward, and if you’re lucky there’s live music. Dinner and entertainment, all in one place,” he says.

“Hm. A truly optimal bird-to-stone ratio,” Holster says. “And I do appreciate efficiency. I’m just looking for something a bit more, uh, special? Rans and I go to Jerry’s all the time.”

“You asked, bro,” Dex says, shrugging. He scoops something neon green into a cup of ice and Holster barely holds back a grimace, choosing instead to turn to Nursey with what he hopes is a beseeching look on his face. It’s one thing practicing your most convincing expressions in the comfort of your own shared bathroom in a frathaus, but it’s another to actually use them.

“Derek Malik Nurse. My favourite, most fanciest man. What about you?”

Nursey barely has the time to open his mouth before Dex and Chowder answer at the same time: “Poetry reading.”

“Hey! That’s not -- it’s -- okay, yeah, probably.” Nursey takes a sip from his mug and comes away with a whipped cream mustache on top of his regular facial hair. “But in my defence, it’s a nice relaxing environment and a great opportunity to move past small talk and delve into the deeper questions of essentialism and our purpose in life and what comes after death.”

“In reality nothing gets him hot like a poem with a good rhyme scheme,” Chowder fake-whispers into Holster’s ear.

“Second only to one without a rhyme scheme at all,” Dex says.

“Aw, fuck you guys. Who paid for your drinks again?”

“And left me a nice tip. Twenty-five percent, Nursey? Maybe you’re not so bad after all,” Dex says. “By the way, you’ve got a little -- yeah -- oh, no, you made it worse. Oh well. Tough luck.”

“Goddamn it!”

Chowder laughs all the way to their table, and Holster, well, Holster still has nothing.

He corners Ollie and Wicks behind the cafeteria salad bar at suppertime when he tells Ransom he’s going to get more tartar sauce for his fish sticks, and asks them his question. They hesitate for a second, nod simultaneously, then fist bump without even looking at each other. A level of synchronicity he and Ransom strive to achieve, but probably never will.

“Paris,” they say together.

Holster snorts. “For real, come on.”

“Bro,” Wicks says, “you said ideal, not realistic.”

“Yeah. That Eiffel tower shit is like, wicked ideal. The ultimate.”

They fist-bump again, of course. In his amusement and slight confusion (amusion, he decides in his head -- or, confusement, maybe), Holster forgets the tartar sauce completely, but distracts Ransom with a well-timed kiss and the whispered promise of a backrub when they get back to the Haus. Across the table Bitty rolls his eyes at the sight and opens his mouth to say something that will most definitely start with F and rhyme with Chris Pine, and in his haste to stick his tongue out at him, Holster accidentally puts it in Ransom’s ear. Instead of the expected indignant squawking he gets a half-shiver which is like, ok, weird, definitely getting filed in his head for... later.

“You doing okay?” Ransom asks that night, after later. “I feel like we haven’t seen each other much these past few days.”

They’re naked and sweat-sticky but warm and wrapped up in each other and blankets in the bottom bunk, Holster’s feet hanging off the edge through the hole they cut in the frame for this specific purpose. He feels like he’s the sleepiest he’s ever been, probably, so he burrows his face deeper into Ransom’s neck and sighs.

“M’just busy,” he mumbles, unwilling to put the effort into making himself more understandable than he has to. Ransom will get him. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” Ransom says. Holster doesn’t remember answering -- the next thing he knows, it’s morning, and Ransom is scrambling to turn off their alarm as George Michael asks them to wake him up before he go-goes. After a second of relative silence -- there’s the shower squealing below them and a few loud thumps of someone coming up the stairs and Bitty singing Ariana Grande somewhere -- Ransom groans, leans over to kiss Holster on the cheek, then rolls out of bed to get ready for the day.

Holster’s walking to class an hour later with March and one of their other econ friends, regretting mostly every decision in his life that has led him to this point. He’s only got a few days left and is no closer to finding anything worthy of Justin-Love-of-Holster’s-Life-Oluransi. Actually, he’s less and less sure that anything worthy exists.

“--and then the prof said… Adam! Holster?” March says, and Holster shakes himself.

“Huh?”

“What’s up with you, bro?” says Jimmy Jeffers. Nice guy, but what else would you expect from a guy named Jimmy? It’s a good name. There’s a shortage of Jimmys in the world, Holster thinks.

“Adam!” March repeats.

“Oh, shit. Sorry. I’ve been distracted lately, I guess,” he says.

March squints up at him then nods decisively. “Justin’s birthday,” she says, though it seems to be mostly for Jimmy’s benefit. “Next week. He’s got nothing.”

“Who’s Justin?” Jimmy asks.

Holster gasps and brings his hand to his heart. “Bro, how can you not know who Justin is? Everyone knows who Justin is. I can’t believe this.”

“Check your Facebook, he’s on there,” March says, rolling her eyes and waving a hand in dismissal at Jimmy, who immediately takes out his phone. “Talk to me, Birkholtz.”

“You dated him. What do you think I should do?” Holster asks, recognizing the desperation in his tone and unable to stop it.

“Weird,” Jimmy mutters.

“Dated is a strong word for what we did,” she says, “which, by the way, you were there for most of.”

“Weirder,” says Jimmy again, jumping over what looks to be a fallen snowcorgi and twisting to avoid someone on a bicycle riding by. The sidewalk is filling with people making their way to and from class, kicking their way through the slush and salt that’s built up on the ground.

“Don’t bring the fact that we’ve seen each other naked on multiple occasions into this. I need help!” Holster cries. He buries his face in his hands. “If I don’t find something to do for Ransom’s birthday, I’m going to die, plain and simple!”

“Adam, watch--”

March’s voice cuts off abruptly as Holster, still hiding behind his fingers, collides with another body -- a man’s, slightly past middle-aged, in a well-fitted navy suit and fluffy green earmuffs. The man blinks up at him, rubbing his forehead -- he’s very short, even by Holster’s standards, and vaguely familiar in the way that a man you’d seen on a Febreze commercial a couple times might be familiar if you walked by him in the street -- and smiles.

“Laser tag,” the man says.

Holster’s hands fly to his mouth. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you alright?”

“Excellent,” the stranger says, reaching up to pat Holster on the shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, Holster can see March hit Jimmy’s arm repeatedly, gaping, and Jimmy whispers something furiously and pulls out his phone. “Laser tag!”

“What?” Holster asks. Because, well, what?

“There’s a great place in the north end of town that rents out a room for birthday parties. I’m a regular there -- I go every weekend. Here, do you want their card?” The man is beaming, adjusting his suit and hitching his leather messenger bag back into position, the reaches into his breast pocket to pull out a stack of business cards, every one the same. He hands one to all three of them. “Gotta run. Good luck!”

The man dashes off into the snow and Holster is left with his mouth open, brow furrowed in confusion, unsure whether or not that was just a fluffy green hallucination. Except, well, he is holding a business card, and March and Jimmy are too.

“Oh my god,” March breathes, then bursts into laughter.

“That -- that was the president. Samwell University’s president,” Jimmy says, turning his phone around for Holster to see. Sure enough, there he is, with his own Wikipedia page and everything. “Weirdest.”

“You know,” March says later, once they’ve finally slipped into the back of their lecture hall only two minutes later, “it’s not such a bad idea. Want me to send a message?” She points to her laptop, where the laser tag place’s Facebook page is open, and Holster shrugs, because what else can he do?

Concentrating on class isn’t happening, so instead he texts Ransom a dirty limerick which could probably give Nursey a run for his money in the poetry department (There once was a d-man named Ransom / Who Holster thought very handsome / He had a big dick / Enjoyed a good lick / One half of the sexiest twosome), and doodles aimlessly in the margins of his notebook. Laser tag could work, he thinks, as long as they’re not like, in a game with a bunch of kids… but maybe he could bring the others along for some surprise team bonding, which could be fun. Ransom would enjoy the couple hours of distraction from his homework and it’s competitive enough that it would hold everyone else’s attention. Also, like, shooting shit is fun as fuck. Maybe it’s not romantic or anything, but --

“Aw hell,” March whispers. She points to her computer screen. “It’s booked up until Tuesday.”

Holster all but collapses onto the desk.

“Well, there’s always dinner and a movie,” Jimmy says, patting Holster’s arm gently.

It’s time, Holster thinks, to haul in the big guns.

Lardo’s studio space is on the other end of campus, in an old convent repurposed in the 70s as first the building for Samwell’s secretarial sciences then later as the art department. General consensus is that it sees as many if not more portraits of Jesus and Mary now as it did as a convent, because, well, art students. When Holster knocks on the door of Lardo’s designated space, he’s totally unsurprised that Shitty is the one who opens it, dressed only in what looks to be a fuschia jock strap. That probably wasn’t a very common sight for the old nuns, anyway.

“Holster! The man, the myth, the -- are you still growing, dude? I swear to fuck you weren’t this tall last time I saw you. Hey, Lards, Holtzy’s here. Seriously, brah. What’s Bitty putting in his pies?” Shitty says, mostly all in one breath. He steps aside to let Holster in, who enters to see Lardo lying on a paint-splattered tarp, an arm thrown over her eyes, a googly eye stuck to her wrist and a bag of two-bite brownies half-empty beside her. There are crumbs on her mouth, and three cans of Redbull on a table in the corner.

“You alright?” Holster asks, poking her with his toes. He plops down next to her and crosses his legs, really hoping the paint on the tarp is dry. It makes a crinkly, plasticky sound as he arranges himself.

“Just brought a piece down to the kilns,” Shitty says, falling too, more gracefully than is generally expected from a man of his aesthetic. He lays his head on Lardo’s stomach. “She worked on it for weeks.”

“Tired,” Lardo says. Her voice is hoarse. “Art. Hard.”

“Believe me, I know,” Holster says.

Lardo’s arm lifts slightly so she can squint at him. “How,” she says. “You’re not an artist.”

Holster pffts. “Just because you don’t appreciate my Abba fanfiction doesn’t mean no one does.”

“I’m more of a One Direction guy myself,” Shitty mumbles. Lardo begins petting his mustache with her thumb which would be sweet if Shitty didn’t moan softly with each downstroke (and if he wasn’t ninety five percent naked).

“Right. Okay. Well.” Holster clears his throat. “What is your ideal date?”

“Are you propositioning us? I swear I had a recurring dream of this exact situation in two different languages last year, neither of which were English. Do you speak Dutch, by any chance?” Shitty says, and Holster doesn’t quite know how to answer. Luckily, Shitty has never needed a response to continue his ramblings. “Nevermind. Stoned stargazing, definitely. Looking up at the universe, feeling small, but like, connected. Because you’re together. You feel me, brah? Like you’re part of a community. More than the sum of your parts. God, that’s beautiful. Should I write that down? Remind me to write that down.”

There’s a pause, a silence filled only by the steady drip-drip of the sink in the corner of the room and the noise of the tarp moving with each breath Lardo and Shitty take.

“Is he well?” Holster eventually asks Lardo. She raises an eyebrow at him.

“The doctors say there’s nothing we can do,” Lardo says. Her hands move up to scratch at his hair. “So, there’s this park uptown, right? Across the street from this laser tag place, I think. D’you know it?”

“I’m... familiar, yes.”

She pushes Shitty’s head down to her thighs and sits up sleepily, like a mummy awoken from her slumber. “Okay, well, it’s super gorgeous in the summer, with this river running through it,” she says. “You can rent a swan boat and shit. They have little food dispensers so you can feed the ducks. And in the winter they have an outdoor rink run by the town, and a bunch of snow tunnels at one end of the park, and like, snowman-making competitions. There’s a hot chocolate vendor too. So I always thought… No, no. It’s stupid.”

“What! What!” Holster straightens his back. This could be it.

“Well, alright… Uh, there’s this bridge at one end of the park. Beautiful wrought iron, overlooks these ice sculptures that light up when the sun sets. Super pretty.”

Of course Lardo would figure it out for him. Why did he ever ask anyone else? “Oh my god, is it one of those bridges you can put a love lock on?” he asks, incredibly excited. It might be the answer to his desperate calls for advice to the universe.

She frowns. “What? No. I’ve just always wanted to spraypaint a dick on it.”

“Nice,” Shitty says with emphasis.

“You know, bring some rum to keep you warm, go at like two in the morning, and just fucking paint it on there. It would represent how the bourgeoisie --”

Alright, so Lardo isn’t any help. Why was he kidding himself that it would be so simple? He doesn’t bother listening to the rest, choosing instead to turn and fall face forward onto the tarp. His nose lands in a splotch of paint that is definitely not dry. Just his fucking luck.

He texts his family group chat that night, because sitting across from Ransom at the library and watching the fucking adorable way he bites his lip when he’s concentrating hard isn’t accomplishing anything. In fact, with every lip-bite, Holster feels his soul hurtle towards death even faster.

Me [7:43]: Friends, family and acquaintances, what would be, in your opinion, the most romantic date ever? This is by far the most important question I have ever asked you.

TyrANNAsaurus Rex [7:43]: dibs on being an acquaintance

Mama B [7:43]: Ooohhh!!!!

Mama B [7:46]: Maybe a fancy homemade supper, some good wine, then a walk downtown

Mama B [7:47]: That’s how your father proposed, twenty-five years ago last January!!! :-)

Ransom barely looks up when Holster snorts, only furrows his brows deeper and bends so close to his paper his nose is almost touching. Which is so cute. God, his boyfriend is fucking gorgeous. Ugh. Holster feels like he’s going to explode.

TyrANNAsaurus Rex [7:49]: yikes lol

Rebecky with the good hair [7:52]: going to a fair. winning stuffies for each other. funnel cakes. kissing him at the top of the ferris wheel

Me [7:53]: It’s March

Mama B [7:54]: I thought you were dating Justin, not March????

Holster sometimes regrets telling his mother everything about his life (or, like, almost everything). This is one of those times.

TyrANNAsaurus Rex [7:55]: what’s this for anyway

Me [7:56]: It’s for Ransom’s BIRTHDAY. You should KNOW THIS. I THOUGHT I told you to put his birthday on the family calendar MOM

Rebecky with the good hair [7:58]: she just got up from the couch to go check it

Rebecky with the good hair [8:00]: ok she’s back, she says it’s not there. whoops

Rebecky with the good hair [8:01]: we’re going to the mall to get him something before it closes. anna you coming

TyrANNAsaurus Rex [8:02]: only if u buy me a pretzel. extra mustard

Rebecky with the good hair [8:03]: fine. come downstairs. i’ll go get dad in the garage

Me [8:03]: what about me!!!

Me [8:06]: UGH I’M DISOWNING YOU ALL. YOU WERE MY LAST HOPE

Me [8:07]: goodbye

Me [8:07]: f o r e v e r

“Holster?”

Holster nearly drops his phone at the sound of Ransom’s voice, and scrambles to catch it, fumbling a few times.

“Babe! It’s not time to stop yet, is it?” he says, smiling widely with his phone precariously caught between his pinky and ring finger.

“You’re. You’re humming that song,” Ransom says. His voice sounds strained. “The sad Abba one. Slipping Through My Fingers.”

“Oh. Shit. I’m sorry, Rans,” Holster says, wincing. Abba has betrayed him again. “The Winner Takes It All would maybe be more appropriate thematically in this situation. Or Knowing Me, Knowing You? Actually, no, I got it. SOS. A classic. Wait, who am I kidding? They’re all classics.”

Ransom looks pained. “Babe.”

Right. Time to go be distracting somewhere else. Holster kisses Ransom on the cheek with a gentle reminder to text him when he needs a few minutes break before moping off to the Haus, determinedly in silence.

Friday they have practice again, and Saturday is spent on a bus to Connecticut, then playing, then sleeping, then driving back the next morning. Everyone’s exhausted, even on the trip up, and Holster caught the bus driver’s questioning eyes in the mirror when they first climbed aboard.

“Long season,” he said, shrugging. “And midterms.”

That’s not really the reason he’s struggling now. He’s just, well, tired, mostly. Frustrated with himself. He’s the worst boyfriend in the world probably, and should just go curl up into that weird crawl-space behind the washer and dryer in the basement that Ransom swears is where the ghosts go during the day. It’s true that it often smells like berry Lip Smackers down in that general area, though Holster’s not sure that isn’t just Chowder’s laundry detergent.

Whatever. Point is, Holster should know what to do for his boyfriend’s birthday, shouldn’t he? He knows Ransom better than anyone in the world (he knows this for a fact because he once sent Ransom’s family a questionnaire about Ransom, so he could compare answers -- none of them got Ransom’s favourite Yankee Candle scent, which is Honey Clementine, and only Dami, the eldest Oluransi sister, knew that number three on Ransom’s bucket list is to touch Serena Williams’ right bicep).

When Holster wakes from his nap on the bus, his forehead wet and cold from where he was leaning on the rattling window and a funny feeling in his stomach, he realizes there’s only one thing left to do: give up.

The bus driver drops them off at the rink, and it’s Nursey and Ransom’s turn to bring the equipment in. Normally Holster would stay and help, but it’s snowing hard and Tango looks like a puppy left out in a storm, so Holster rolls his eyes and asks if he and Whiskey would like a drive back to their rez. He can come get Ransom later. One of the only things he can do for him, apparently.

“How are you doing, Holster?” the unfailingly polite Tango asks as soon as he climbs in the back seat of Holster’s old-ass maroon Sunfire.

“Why? Does it look like I’m doing bad?” Holster says. In the rear-view mirror, Tango’s eyes go wide and concerned. Whiskey, of course, only snorts.

“Well, it does now,” he says in that drawling, bored, monotone voice of his. Though his eyebrow twitching does indicate slight interest, maybe.

“Oh no!” Tango gasps, then scoots up in the middle seat as far as his seat belt allows him so his head is nearly level with Holster and Whiskey’s. “What’s wrong, Captain?”

“I don’t deserve to be called that right now,” Holster grumbles.

“But we won yesterday,” Tango says. He sounds confused, but Holster can’t confirm if his face matches it, because it really is snowing pretty hard and he has to focus on not hitting any students or university presidents that might be out for a stroll. It probably does, though. Perpetual confusion is like, most of Tango’s personality. Sweet kid, though.

“I’m no longer captain of my own life and relationship, so I’m demoting myself. Well, metaphorically-speaking.”

“Holy fuck,” Whiskey whispers, and hits his head on the back of the seat a couple times.

Since he’s got nothing left to lose, Holster decides to ask one last time. It’s not like he’s going to get a good answer, not from a couple eighteen-year-olds, but fuck it. Right? All in.

“Um. Hey. Okay, first of all, if you tell anyone I asked you this I will, uh, turn you both upside down and pour Pepsi up your nose,” he begins, to cover his bases.

“I prefer Coke,” Tango says promptly.

“I know. So, it’s Ransom’s birthday tomorrow, and I don’t have anything planned yet, so… what sounds like the perfect date to you? I’m pretty fucking desperate.”

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Tango’s practically vibrating in his seat. “I love the aquarium. There’s one in Boston! Oh my god. If you go, can I come?”

Whiskey twists in his seat and rolls his eyes. “This is stupid,” he says.

“Aquariums aren’t stupid,” Tango says.

“Not that,” Whiskey says. “I mean, you’re asking the wrong question. Why does it matter what we think is the best date?”

“I don’t think I understand,” Holster says. He pulls into a parking space near the residence.

“I know I don’t understand,” Tango says.

It’s only later, when he’s picked up Ransom and Nursey from Faber and brought them back to the Haus, and he’s in the kitchen watching Ransom talk to Bitty about the moisturizing benefits of coconut oil versus shea butter, that he thinks he finally gets it.

The chair creaks one last time as he leans back to enjoy the image, and gives out under his weight with a crack! and followed by the heavy thump! of his tailbone hitting the hard floor.

“Oh my god!” Bitty cries. Ransom looks like he’s torn between laughter and concern, and the giggles are winning out. “Are you alright?”

“You know, Bitty?” Holster says, sprawled out on his back with shards of wood poking his ass and back, and Ransom’s eyes crinkling in mirth and something even warmer. “I really think I am.”

In the end, it takes a couple hours of work, some very important phone calls, and much begging and chore-switching with the other Haus-mates, but when Ransom comes home from afternoon class on March 28th, 2016, the attic has become a giant, structurally-sound blanket fort, the Haus TV has been moved upstairs along with all game consoles, there’s four different kinds of takeout on the desk, a grocery bag full of snacks, a variety of condoms laid out on the bed, and Holster, sitting in the nest he made of pillows, waiting with a birthday cupcake and a party hat, beaming.

Ransom drops his bag and immediately crawls up next to Holster. The cupcake barely makes it out of the way before Ransom attacks Holster’s mouth with his mouth.

“Babe!” he says between kisses. “This! Is! Amazing!”

“You think?” Holster says. He’s so, so happy.

“Yeah. Look at all this! Is that green curry and chicken wings? And you got me a cupcake instead of regular cake? God, you know me so well.”

Because he can, Holster kisses him again. “I know you like how tiny they look in your big hands,” he says. “Oh, and everybody cleared out for the night, so it’s just us.”

“I can’t believe you did all this,” Ransom says, collapsing onto the bed of fluffy pillows and smiling up at the polar-fleece ceiling. “How long have you been planning?”

“Oh, a little while,” Holster says, which is not even a lie. “You wanna play a round of Super Smash Bros? Winner gets to pick the sex playlist later.”

Ransom sighs happily and holds out his arms, and Holster goes easily. “Not yet. Come here and bask with me.”

“Happy birthday,” Holster says. He snuggles closer.

Everything is right in the world once more: Ransom is happy, Holster has accomplished something great, and no one died. Only one chair was harmed in the making of this birthday gift. Why did he think he needed a grand, romantic date or a fancy night out or any of those things the others suggested? This is what Ransom wants, this is what he wants, and this is just… them. Together.

As far back as he can remember, people have told Adam Birkholtz that he is too dramatic. Which actually, is kind of fine, as long as he’s still got Ransom.

“Best birthday ever,” Ransom says.

That’s all Holster ever wanted to hear.

#the formatting didn't show up boo #so that's why there isn't much #holsom #justin oluransi #adam birkholtz #holsomwriting #holtzwriting #cpwriting #my writing #ranswriting #ransom x holster #holster x ransom

87 notes · View notes

thotragnar0k · 6 years

Text

i’ve been occasionally vague in my tags recently (don’t know if anyone actually reads them when i do add them but anyway) and I figured i should probably explain myself.

this past month of august has been really hard for all the good things that have happened in it. i’ve been feeling really upset about my body, my eating habits and my lifestyle, and while i thought being at home wasn’t helping, i was wrong (for reasons that will be explained in this super long post - i am so sorry people who don’t care about me).

i’ve never been happy with my weight. friends of mine have probably noticed that i put myself down a lot - saying self-deprecating things like I’m ugly and one such thing today i’m nowhere near pretty enough to a) marry rich and b) have a sugar daddy (you don’t need context here) - and it’s a problem i am subconsciously trying to fix.

but as i was saying, my body and i have never been on good terms. i think that my curves are in all the wrong places, and i feel like i’m in that gross in-between where no clothes look good on me, and I don’t have the right proportions for my tall (5′7-5′8) body.

i celebrated my 20th birthday this year, twice technically. Once a few days before with my friends and another the weekend of with my family. Firstly the night out with my friends. Sidenote: I’m not a ‘night out’ kind of girl. I don’t really like to get hammered. I will, I just won’t drink so much that I’ll throw up - mostly because I’m lazy and down want to have to clean. But as we were all at home, I figured fuck it, lets go out-out. Sometimes you just need to go out and get drunk with some friends.

three things happened that night that made me hate myself. three things, I don’t think I’ve actually told my friends (both of which are on tumblr and may see this if i don’t mass reblog other things immediately after it), or if i have I’ve played it off.

the first thing: my choice of outfit. again body issues. and lack of night out clothing. i don’t own any jeans that actually sit on my waist. i have high waisted jeans but unfortunately they always slip down to my hips (under my muffin top). my friends looked gorgeous. i felt like i stood out, but in a really bad way. sure the dress i wore was nice, but it wasn’t anything like the outfits they were wearing; jeans and a fancy top.

the second thing: dancing on a bar in coyote ugly. i did it because, you only dance on a bar once and they were doing it. i can’t dance. i have zero rhythm in this body. dancing on a bar did nothing to help my self confidence. i felt like everybody was watching me and judging me and it made me want to disappear into my bed and never leave it again.

and the third thing, also happening in coyote ugly; riding a rodeo bull. sure i’d love to say that i was too drunk to care. but i wasn’t. i was tipsy sure, but not too drunk. the thing that made me hate myself during this section of the night out - i couldn’t even get on the bull. my thick ass thighs kept sticking to the seat of the bull and my weak arms couldn’t pull my fat ass up. Sure I got up eventually, but the embarrassment of not being able to get on a rodeo bull was enough to completely slam dunk my self esteem into a trash can and into a bottomless pit. so that was fantastic.

concerning the weekend with my family; i found myself crying in the bathroom silently before we went to cardiff because i wanted to dress up nice because we were going to a nice steakhouse, but my problems with my body just made me want to hide under a big baggy jumper.

and i did. i found my biggest, baggiest jumper and i hid in it, because I couldn’t stand to see my disgusting body in something vaguely form fitting. no one commented on it, no one cared, but i did. and to be honest, i think it ruined my birthday.

and thats so sad, that such a small insignificant thing could ruin a while day. but it did. and to me it didn’t feel like a small, insignificant thing. it felt like a huge weight on my shoulder, drowning me completely. it also impacted my relationship with my boyfriend. he noticed that i haven’t been texting him as much as i usually do (not that im crazy, i just like to know how his day is going) and when we were conversing I was barely responding and being quite distant. and i hate it that that’s a thing i do; isolating myself to deal with my problems. i’m better now. i talk to him as much as i used to do, if not slightly less because i have nothing to do at the moment and there’s no point texting him for a cuddle because i’m not anywhere near each other for that instant gratification.

there have been many a night this summer where i have depersonalised (link here for those who want to know more) because of these issues, and its so hard to pull myself out of that floaty feeling. I’m better at it now than I used to be, but it’s still so hard.

i’ve had so many things i need to do in preparation for third year of uni but these episodes of depersonalisation have really stood in the way of actually doing that. i’ve got photos of a mutual that i need to retouch and send back to her but i can’t pick up the energy to sit at my laptop and do that work because i feel disconnected to part of my body.

and knowing she’ll read this, she’ll say just send them over to me un-edited; but the nit-picky, perfectionist part of my brain refuses to let me do that. i can’t send them to you because these aren’t perfect. they aren’t right. i can’t send them because this stray hair is out of place or this photo isn’t quite correctly exposed and sure, it seems trivial but it isn’t to me.

i went to a convention this past weekend; asylum steampunk in lincoln. i was helping my mum sell her books, occasionally assisting a photographer and his team, and running around taking photos. it was an odd convention; i felt as though i’d both done a lot and nothing at the same time. usually i feel so tired after a multiple day convention that i need a four day nap to catch up. but i was actually okay.

i learned a lot about myself at that convention. firstly, i oddly like talking to people and selling books. sure it’s hella tiring for just sitting behind a stall and occasionally selling a product. but chatting to people was actually really nice. my family tend to stick to ourselves. for welsh people (y’know that stereotype that welsh people never shut up) we don’t tend to socialise much, and networking is not our strongest asset.

the other thing i, well i guess i re-learned; photographing people at conventions for fun is actually fun. For the past three or four conventions i’ve been to - comic, gaming and steampunk - i’ve always been thinking about how i can use the photos as a series for university. but this time; i wasn’t thinking about that. i wasn’t caring if the background was any good, or if the lighting was perfect. i was just taking the photos. and it was so relaxing and fun. it wasn’t work.

for three of the four days we were at that convention, i got into the spirit and i dressed up for it. One of the outfits, that was sort of like a steampunk-y mechanic was a wide-full leg jumpsuit that my mum and i made together a few weeks before. i tracked half of my journey of that on twitter, (the bits i did, the cutting the fabric etc - my mum actually sewed the whole thing together- though i did give her a shoutout on twitter for all her hardwork). I actually really enjoyed wearing that outfit (mostly because the pockets were s o b i g), for the other two days i went slightly more piratey, wearing striped brown and black l=pants and a flowey striped white shirt one day and a light lace skirt and off the shoulder top on the other. that skirt, i don’t know why i don’t wear it more often (aside from the fact it doesn’t fit any outfits i have and i’ll look like an idiot wearing it anywhere other than a convention) because i think i look so good in it (baring in mind the lack of body positivity i have, this is a big deal).

the other thing that i’ve been doing this summer is i’ve been getting into make-up and even fashion i guess, trying to learn how to do that stuff (man it’s hard, why didn’t i start earlier). make-ups not so much of a problem in what i’m about to talk about, but watching fashion videos on youtube is rather annoying when you’re an average to slightly above average weight. I’ve not found (until today, the videos i’m watching right now as i write this) any youtubers that are fashion related that are anywhere near the shape/weight that i am. They’re either super skinny waifs who can fit into anything they want (and like that one i saw, saying that a size fourteen is a great size for oversized clothing - bitch please, stop) or plus size and self confident with those curves in the right places and much bigger than i can relate to. not that there’s a problem with either, there’s just not as much representation for the ‘average’ person. there probably is and i just haven’t found it (currently watching lucy wood) and i need to look better into it. i can guarantee that is definitely the case. but still i’d love youtube to recommend those youtubers to me please.

something that i did realise from the steampunk weekend was that i was so busy ‘working’ if you can call it that, that i forgot to eat the crap that i usually eat during the day, and i guess i forgot to drink water (which is not a good thing, drink water kids). but the main thing is not eating crap all day, paired with the amount of walking i did that weekend (almost 30,000 steps over four days) has actually made me lose half a stone since the last time i weighed myself at the end of july. (so i’m very pleased about this)

so sure, while third year is going to be so, so stressful, i’m making steps towards feeling better about myself and making sure i do 5-10 thousand steps a day and not eat as much crap as i usually do, but most importantly; learning to love myself and my body.

oh my god this post is so long. i’m so sorry anyone who reads all this.

tl,dr: the month of august has been depressing, body issues galore and i’m probably being ridiculous but i’m trying to get better.

0 notes

deadcactuswalking · 6 years

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26th August 2018

There are many, and I mean many, new arrivals this week so let’s just get on with it, I’ll try to keep everything brief.

Top 10

“Shotgun” by George Ezra stays steady at the top, as does its runner-up.

Yep, “In My Feelings” by Drake featuring City Girls is a non-mover as it stays at number-two.

“Eastside” by benny blanco, Khalid and Halsey, on the other hand, is moving up a spot straight to number-three. I’m legitimately surprised at how quickly this is increasing, but I really doubt this is going anywhere higher than here.

Oh, and we have our first of two top 10 debuts this week, with “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith entering the charts at number-four, which would be impressive if it weren’t Calvin Harris and Sam Smith, who do stuff like this all the time.

I am happy that Loud Luxury and brando’s “Body” is entering the top five here, as it ascends a spot to number-five. The song’s really growing on me.

“God is a woman” by Ariana Grande takes advantage of the Sweetener album release and increases by six spaces to number-six. Not complaining at all, I like this song.

“No Brainer”, meanwhile, by DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo and Chance the Rapper, has fell hard, four spots to number-seven.

Oh, and you know how a lot of artists stylise their songs in different ways? Well, Ariana Grande did that with every track from Sweetener (except one or two exceptions) and yeah, especially with the exceptions, it looks so unprofessional and lazy. I bring this up because the next song is called “breathin” and it’s by Ariana Grande featuring ILYA, debuting at number-eight. Come on, guys, your song title looks like a text message. At least it’s not in the same route as Aphex Twin or Lil Yachty, and their messy tracklists.

“Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B has not moved at number-nine.

Neither has “Taste” by Tyga featuring Offset, still barely clenching on at number-ten.

Climbers

There’s one. Literally one song has climbed by any notable amount. Other than one song, the biggest we have outside of the top 10 is by three spaces, so, yeah, the 14-spot climber, and the only climber worth talking about, is “Don’t Leave Me Alone” by David Guetta featuring Anne-Marie, now at #23, which I’m not necessarily bothered about at all.

Fallers

Now here is where it’s at. Let’s talk about all the relatively notable fallers, sorted by genre.

Starting with pop, we have “Youngblood” down eight positions to #15, while “If You’re Over Me” by Years & Years is down four spots to #33 and “2002” by Anne-Marie is down five spaces to #37.

EDM really suffered this week, though, as Jonas Blue’s “Rise” featuring Jack & Jack has descended 12 spaces to #17, Tiesto and Dzeko’s “Jackie Chan” featuring Preme and Post Malone is down a whopping 16 spots to #24, while Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa’s “One Kiss” slogs down six spaces to #28, right next to “Ocean” by Martin Garrix featuring Khalid, down four to #29.

Hip-hop and R&B had tough drops as well, hell, you could argue, they struggled even more. “Don’t Matter to Me” by Drake featuring Michael Jackson jumps down nine spots to #27, as Drake’s other track “Nonstop” has stopped gaining any traction down four spots to #30, while ZieZie’s “Fine Girl” is down five to #35, as Nicki Minaj’s “Bed” featuring Ariana Grande absolutely collapses by a whopping 16 positions straight to #39, ironically a spot away from #40, which has its spot taken by “I Like It” by Cardi B featuring Bad Bunny and J Balvin, down nine spaces from last week.

Dropouts

Usually, when there are a lot of losers, there come a lot of songs dropping out of the charts as well, and it’s not any different this week, as “Better Now” by Post Malone is just forced out of the charts from #16, with “STARGAZING” by Travis Scott closely following from #27. “This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble is also out from #39, joining another soundtrack single from Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, “When I Kissed the Teacher”, out from #40. The absolutely wretched “Barbie Dreams” by Nicki Minaj is out from #36, while “First Time” by M-22 featuring Medina is also pushed out from only #24. Wow, it was a massacre in terms of losers and drop-outs, probably due to the immense amount of new arrivals, despite a surprising lack of returning entries from the late Aretha Franklin, and any at all, for that matter.

The Ed Sheeran Update

Where’s Ed Sheeran, you ask? Well, “Perfect” hasn’t moved from #61 and “Shape of You” is down four spots to #80.

NEW ARRIVALS

Alright, I’ll try and keep all entries of a decent yet not extensive length, especially since there are freaking seven of these to talk about.

#36 – “In My Mind” – Dynoro and Gigi D’Agostino

So, from what I can gather, Dynoro is a mysterious UK producer who just recently made his breakthrough with this mash-up. Yeah, this is a remix, I suppose, but this is borderline mash-up as it not-so-subtly intertwines elements from both the 2012 track “In My Mind” by Ivan Gough, Feenixpawl and Georgi Kay and the hook of the song “L’amour toujours”, a song released in 2000 by Italian DJ Gigi D’Agostino, which was a smash hit in a lot of Europe, but didn’t chart here in the UK. Yeah, so they’re sampling two songs, one of which is a quite memorable and some may say nostalgic track in order to lazily find a way for people to remember their song so they can get a hit without much effort. All that aside, is the track good enough to redeem the shady business practices? No. Not really. As I said, it’s basically a mash-up so it’s hard to really judge the song on its own merits, especially as it’s just some generic house with a rather ugly bass-synth wobble and a mind-numbingly repetitive hook. Not feeling this one’s concept or execution, at all.

#31 – “Happier” – Marshmello and Bastille

Oh, hey, Bastille, doing another track with an EDM producer for no good reason! I do like these guys, though, they’ve made some damn good, catchy, fun indie pop and pop rock in the past, and I still return to some of their hits like “Good Grief” and “Pompeii” to this day. The collaboration they had with Craig David was... okay, but knowing Marshmello’s track record of being mostly utter garbage, I don’t exactly have high hopes, and after listening, I can’t blame myself. It has some pretty okay skittering percussion and some nice strings in the pre-chorus, but the drop is so weak, man. Bastille’s lead vocalist is not straining himself at all, but he’s not putting much effort in either, some of this just feels like talking over copy-and-pasted guitar strumming and a synth in the drop that sounds like it has better things to do than spending time with a hack like Marshmello. It probably does, to be perfectly honest. That last pre-chorus is pretty cool, though, because the members of Bastille actually get some good guitars in, and there is a bit more “oomph” to the production generally. That drop sucks so badly, though, God. The song ends with “I will go”, which is somewhat amusing, I suppose. Skip this.

#26 – “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” – The 1975

Okay, first of all: what on Earth is that godawful song title and what the hell does it mean? Secondly, the 1975, what on God’s earth are you doing, and why?

It’s dancehall-ish pop. It’s tropical, vocal-sample-infected dance-pop with some Caribbean influences that are now typical of modern British popular music, with some awfully autotuned vocals from our lead singer, Matt Healy, here, who said just a few days or weeks prior, that no big rock band is doing anything unique or interesting right now, compared to what the 1975 is doing... you say, as you make one of the most predictable, trash-tier electro-pop songs I’ve ever heard, taking a page out of the Imagine Dragons’ book of separating yourself entirely from the rock scene. Healy’s band is one of the most popular rock bands at this point in time, so it’s expected for them to make some pop tunes, but given Healy’s pretentious lyrics in the last two tracks they’ve released, which I didn’t like as much I wanted to but at least appreciated for what they tried to do, as well as his recent statements, this song just seems rather hypocritical and (not like Healy would have changed this) borderline unlistenable and amateur. I can’t even say I expected much better.

#22 – “sweetener” – Ariana Grande featuring Pharrell

This is the first of two songs to debut from Ariana Grande’s newest, recently-released album Sweetener. Now, I haven’t listened to the album in full yet, but I am looking forward to as the singles seemed promising. I loved “no tears left to cry” and liked “God is a woman” and “the light is coming” a hell of a lot, so I’m excited to check out the record. The title track, however, does not really show any of the promise I saw in those singles. Jesus Christ, this is bad.

It starts with a pretty monotone piano melody while Grande sings pretty greatly as always, but then the percussion and bass kick in for a repetitive, kind of nonsensical hook, which is just pretty insufferable, while in the verses, Grande prefers to talk-sing over Pharrell’s goofy “sheesh!” ad-libs, which also repeat throughout the rest of this song, for some inexplicable reason. Yeah, I’m assuming Pharrell produced this, and I’m also assuming that whoever transcribed the Genius lyrics to this, who had to listen to this on full blast God knows how many times just to get the accurate transcription of those Pharrell ad-libs, because they seem to be subtly different each time and while I appreciate attention to detail, I hate when that detail goes into something as moronic and pointless as Pharrell ad-libs. This gets a “sheesh” from me.

#16 – “All I Am” – Jess Glynne

Oh, okay, more Jess Glynne, we needed that after the trainwreck that was “I’ll be There”. So, what specific parts of her potential will be wasted in this song? Actually, wasn’t this promoted by Spotify ads? It must be good then. Well, it’s not bad, but it’s not particularly interesting either. It’s just some desaturated piano and annoying yet only brief vocal samples backing some house-like rhythm and Jess Glynne’s as-pretty-much-always fantastic vocals, which are only really all that prominent in the catchy hook. The wobbly synth-bass that shows up throughout kind of feels somewhat out-of-place but it’s also barely noticeable outside of the verses, so, call me stumped. I have no opinion on this song whatever – the pros outweigh the cons but there are simply not enough of those pros to make it all that good. It’s okay. It’s not like I’d change the station but it’s not like I’d turn the volume up or anything.

#8 – “breathin” – Ariana Grande featuring ILYA

So, this is the ninth track from Sweetener, featuring production, instrumentation and uncredited background vocals from Ilya Salmanzadeh, or ILYA, and it not having Pharrell related to it at all should be good, right? Well, kinda? I love the vocals here, but I’m not surprised by that at all, instead I’m surprised by how fun this instrumental is for such a dramatic song about anxiety. There’s a barely noticeable bass supporting a pounding drum beat and some nice synth and piano melodies, as well as what I assume are pretty rapidly-clapped handclaps in the second verse, and the drop is pretty fun too, with Grande ad-libbing over what could either be some strings or vocal manipulation, it’s anyone’s guess, but you know, it sounds good enough, despite doing absolutely nothing for me. It’s listenable and I’m not going to say it isn’t a damn good attempt at an inspirational anthem, but I’m not really all that in the know about why this song was any special, out of all the songs on the tracklist. Maybe when I listen to the rest of the album, the reason will be is that the rest is pretty terrible, and knowing Pharrell and his attempts at producing modern pop music, that’s probably the reason, but I’ll see. For now, this is pretty okay, but I don’t see it growing on me in time as much as stuff like “Better Now” and “One Kiss” have.

#4 – “Promises” – Calvin Harris and Sam Smith

Now, part of me hoped this was going to be utter rubbish so I could ask Calvin Harris to “promise me no promises”, but even if it was, I don’t think it’d be all that worthy of any jokes being made out of it. There’s some nice UK Garage-influenced percussion that Sam Smith usually excels in, but those backing vocals are bloody awful and the laughing is obnoxious, and Sam doesn’t seem to be putting any effort in at all. It’s not even catchy, and the piano is nothing more than an additional instrument to add to what seems to be some kind of experimental minimalistic artsy masterpiece I just don’t get, I don’t know, I seriously don’t see the appeal or any reason I should write more than I already have. What is the point of this existing? I’m curious.

Conclusion

I don’t have much passion for this show in particular anymore, and it’s weeks like this which get me to that point. When the artists aren’t bothering whilst making the art, why should I bother analysing it? Anyway, since I kind of have to, Dishonourable Mention goes to The 1975 for “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME”, yep, that’s right, it’s not even getting Worst of the Week despite being one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard. The song that does its job as a pop song with the least care is “Promises”. Worst of the Week goes to Calvin Harris and Sam Smith for making a song that shouldn’t and probably doesn’t actually exist, yet here it is, and I don’t understand how this song even got in the top 100 other than star power. It’s not catchy, it’s not interesting and it’s barely even an accessible pop song, it’s just noise, with no real hook or anything that grabs me. Best of the Week goes to nothing and there’s nothing that is an Honourable Mention here, so why not tie Dishonourable Mention with Dynoro and Gigi D’Agostino for one of the laziest hit songs I’ve heard in a while, “In My Mind”, and introduce another category: “Sheesh of the Week”. The song that is just hilariously dumb and maybe even so bad it’s good gets Sheesh of the Week, and it’s pretty obvious that Pharrell and Ariana Grande get it this week for the category’s namesake, “breathin”. See ya next time!

0 notes

brendajhensonblog · 6 years

Text

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 187

youtube

Click on the video above to watch Episode 187 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at https://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Adam: Hey, everybody! We are live. Welcome to Hump Day Hangout, Episode 187. Before we get started today, we got a couple of short announcements, but as always we want to go and say hi to the guys and see how everyone’s doing. We’ll start in order on my screen and, Chris, you’re first up. How are you doing, man?

Chris: Been good. How are you doing?

Adam: Good deal. So, are you traveling? Where in the world is Chris located this week?

Chris: I’m in the secret spot in Scandinavia.

Adam: Awesome. It sounds like it’s some Dr. Evil hideout or something.

Chris: Pretty much.

Adam: Good deal. Hernan, how you are doing?

Hernan: That sounded so James Bond. It’s funny because we’re going through the time zones, like Chris is later, then I am in, and then think that Marco, and then Bradley, and you. Right, time zone? I know depending on how … Hey, guys! What’s up? I’m really good. I’m excited to be here.

Adam: Good deal. Good deal. Marco, how are you doing?

Marco: What’s up, dude? I’m working on the first Google My Business webinar. I’m deep in the lab trying to get it ready. I got some good stuff planned for our first webinar.

Adam: Would you say that this is only for people who are members of Local GMB Pro?

Marco: I would say not only should they be members of Local GMB Pro, they better be in the Facebook group so they can get the link, because that’s the only place it’s going to be shared.

Adam: Awesome. You guys heard it. If want it, if you haven’t joined, go check out Local GMB Pro. If you’re dealing with anything local, this is an awesome addition. If you are already a member, I know we’re still missing a few members, we opened up as a bonus the Facebook group, so check your emails, we sent out a notification about that to members only.

Bradley, how are you doing today on this fine day?

Bradley: Pretty effing stoked about the GMB Pro stuff that’s going on because I’ve been adding additional training to that the last couple days. I’ve added several, stuff today. I’m actually out on my own experimenting a bit now. I’ve been just following Robin and Marco’s instructions really because they’ve been in the lab testing and tinkering and trying to blow shit up and all that, and I’ve just been applying what they’ve been teaching. But I’ve been kind of tinkering around on my own now a little bit too and finding some really cool stuff to do.

It’s just amazing. GMB, the Google My business dashboard, they’re rolling out new features. Apparently, the new Google My Business Agency dashboard has just launched. There’s a post on Bright Local about it and something I’m really stoked about. I posted the link on the event page guys. But the post on Bright Local is … Any of you that aren’t using Bright Local, I’ve been talking about them for years. That’s the local tracking solution for citations and ranking and all that rank tracking and all that stuff. I’ve been using Bright Locals since I opened my agency in 2012. I speak very highly of it because I think it’s awesome. It’s very inexpensive and the reports are great. That’s what I do all my client reporting with.

Well, in the article about the GMB Agency dashboard today, Bright Local is working on a tool to be able to schedule posts and everything GMB posts right from within the Bright Local dashboard. Very similar to our own GMB auto-poster or from Sendible, for example. You’re going to be able to do this directly in Bright Local, too. So, those of you that are already managing your clients reporting through Bright Local, this is just one additional thing, that one additional place or tool that you’ll be able to use right from within Bright Local. So, that’s pretty exciting news.

Then, as Marco said, we’ve got the webinar coming up in a couple of weeks, I guess, for the first webinar for Local GMB Pro. Some of the stuff that he’s been sharing with me is just, it’s freakin’ killer, man. So, I’m really excited about it.

But that’s not the only thing, I’ve also been adding training to the MasterMind. Guys, those of you that are in the MasterMind, keep going back into the prospecting module and checking often. I’ve been adding a lot of additional training in there. I just hired a VA full time to do video, or excuse me, email prospecting and so I’ve added a lot of additional process docs in there for the same training that I’m using to train my VA with. Guys, I told you in the MasterMind I was going to give you the exact same docs and process training that I personally train my virtual assistants with, so that you guys don’t have to do it yourself. All of that is being added to the MasterMind website as well.

I’m excited to be here. Lots of good stuff coming up.

Adam: Awesome.

Hernan: Real quick, sorry, Adam. Guess what guys? We used the Outsource Kingpin process to actually get these amazing VAs which we are hiring.

Bradley: Yep.

Hernan: I just wanna mention that.

Adam: Yeah. We’ve now gone levels deep. I have my personal assistant, actually that I used hiring funnel to find to then use the hiring funnel to hire additional VAs. I love it. It’s like hiring inception.

Bradley: That’s an outsource stack.

Adam: Yeah. Oh, man, it’s beautiful. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. Well, we talked about it briefly, but I just want to remind people too about Local GMB Pro and some of the services that are coming out that we want people to be aware about. Just real quick, Marco, can you tell people or remind people about what’s going on with that? Because I honestly don’t have in front of me and I’ll probably lose track, but there’s some really cool stuff coming up soon.

Marco: Yeah. We’ve got our auto-poster and it’s in beta right now. People are testing it out. We’re trying to work out some of the issues that always arise with coding. Chris Dylan, our partner, I know that he’ll back me up 100% on this. You cannot write code that’s 100%. But there’s always going to be something that’s out of whack, something that clashes, just whatever, and so you just have to work it out. But it’s awesome. Yeah. Because we’re going to be able to feed a feed, if that makes sense. Feed an RSS feed into the Google My Business listing.

So you post on your website guys, that you’re active there. That’s going to become a post in Google My Business and you can then export an RSS feed to trigger additional IFTTT. It’s gonna be a like a hydra, that you can plug in anywhere you want to add relevance to everything that you’re doing. Right now, there’s no better entity anywhere, there’s no better seed, that I’m always talking about seed sites and seed sets, nothing than Google My Business. It’s verified. It’s validated. You’re solidifying it through all of the activity and Google is really paying attention to this and rewarding people for being active in it.

People go in and I know that they say it can’t be this easy, because if it had been this easy, then why didn’t I think of it? But sometimes as SEOs, as coders, as marketers, we tend to complicate things because we’ve been taught that this is complicated, that not anyone, not everyone can do this, especially if you don’t have the, and I’m doing air quotes, the knowledge. Right? I don’t have the knowledge. I don’t have the proper knowledge. I have to go listen to this guru, and this expert, and this ninja, hell, I’m not gonna go there, but they over-complicate shit.

We boiled it down, and once again we’d turn SEO on it’s ear, but you don’t need to be an SEO now to do this. You just have to have just follow simple instruction. You follow them, you do what you’re supposed to do, and then let us show you how to build a power from within and just use the power of Google against Google. It’s been the way that I’ve been doing things, at least, what, four or five years now. We’re coming up on the anniversary of RYS Academy, August. It’ll be three years.

So all of this, it just keeping keeps coming together, it keeps coming back to the same principle. You use Google to rank Google to get traffic from Google and it becomes a self-feeding monster. That’s what we’re onto right now. So it’s that, it’s the poster. It’s a done-for-you services, right? We’re going to have people who will know how to properly optimize a Google My Business listing, how to do the posts, how to do the images, how to work with the images so that you can concentrate really on building your business and getting more clients for your business and making more money.

Adam: Nice. I like it. And as someone, I’m not just saying this as someone who’s part of the business, I look forward to actually using the done-for-you services. So looking forward to this and hopefully everyone else is too. Last, but certainly not least, just want to tell you if you’re new to Semantic Mastery, you’re just watching us, first of all, thanks for coming to Hump Day Hangouts. I put a link on the page, check out the Battle Plan. If you’re watching it later, you can’t find the link, it’s battleplan.semanticmastery.com. It’s like your SEO blueprint. It’s the fastest, best way to get started whether you’re just entering or you’ve been in the game for a while. It’s a great place to get started with us and with having a blueprint for your SEO.

Also, we have decided and we’re looking forward to meeting up with a small group, hopefully, about 20 to 25 people, this fall. We’re gonna announce dates later. It’s gonna be in the October, November timeframe. We’re still working that out. We’ve had a lot of really good feedback. As usual, it’s gonna be offered first to our MasterMind members, but we are looking forward to doing a one to two-and-a-half day training event and networking where we can get together and just do some awesome knowledge transfer, training, and just some awesome good stuff. I don’t know if you guys want to add on to that. We’re definitely gonna have some more information coming out later about that, but I wanna let you guys know that’s coming.

Hernan: Yeah. I’m super excited for that. I’m super, super, super pumped. I’ll put my camera around so that you can see how pumped I am. Not bad for sure. No. I’m really pumped about that because we can meet online and I think that the magic happens when we meet offline, like we actually get together. Semantic Mastery, it’s the testimony and the testimony of that. Every time we get together we get so much stuff done. When you go to events you get relationships, you start doing networking, and we got to be there. So I’m super pumped for that, super excited. It’s gonna be really good. We’re gonna get some hot seats doing so that we can advise you on your business, how to grow it. It’s gonna be pretty, pretty cool.

Bradley: Yeah. It’s not gonna be super expensive either, guys. This is our gonna be our first live event so we’re gonna keep it relatively inexpensive and small too. We’re only gonna to, I think we agreed on no more than 25 people. Correct?

Hernan: Yep.

Bradley: Yeah. There’s only 25 seats available, basically. We want to keep it small intentionally because it’s our first one. We don’t want to overwhelm ourselves, to be honest, but I think this would be good. I’ve been wanting to do it for a couple of years. I’ve been to some really amazing events in the past. Last year, I went to a great one, the SEO Rockstars event. It’s a great event and so that’s kind of inspired us to do it as well.

Like Hernan just mentioned, it’s more about, it’s not a money-making thing really, it’s just about being able to kind of build more of a culture. Right? That’s what if anybody’s followed ClickFunnels, they call it Cult-ure, but it’s very similar to that. It’s just to try to create some goodwill and kind of create some stronger bonds between us and our best or most avid followers or members or whatever you want to call it. So we certainly hope that some of you guys will come out and join us.

Adam: Definitely. Yeah. What you can accomplish in a day or two there, if you haven’t been to an event, is definitely amazing. For me, a lot of you brought … I know you have been, I’ve either seen you at events by this point in time or you have been going for years. It’s something I avoided for a long time, being something of an introvert, and it’s really an eye opener several years ago to finally go and just meet people and be like, oh, damn, these are my people. So, good stuff.

Bradley: Awesome.

Adam: All right. Well, unless you guys know anything else, I think we should jump into it.

Bradley: Yeah. Let’s do it. I do want to mention one thing though because Marco was mentioning RYS Academy three years. It’s three year anniversary’s coming up since the original launch and so I had to pull this up just because guys this is so incredible, I applied the RYS Academy methods before they were even fully developed in May of 2015. Let me zoom in on this so you can see it.

May 2015. So, that’s been over three years, guys, and I still rank, look at this, Virginia SEO, that’s the Google site. This is all RYS tactics, guys. Nothing else. Ranked number one in Maps. I got a WordPress.com site ranked or post ranked with a video image. What? For SEO Virginia as well. Also, SEO Agency Virginia, same thing. They’ve been marketing number one in Maps, Google Site, WordPress.com. Virginia SEO, that’s actually a company’s name. It’s Virginia SEO. I’ve got number one above Maps, I’m in the 3-pack, and I’m also got the WordPress.com.

Guys, again, this was, I mean, look at this, May 16th is when these were published. See that? May 16th, 2015. I said May 16th and then stopped, 2016 May 5th, excuse me, May 5-16th 2015. That’s a big deal, guys. Three years and I don’t do link building to this.

I haven’t added any additional posts to this site. I haven’t done anything. In fact, my own main website, I reduced from an old blog, a WordPress site that I had built into 2012 when I first launched, I’d never updated the site. I added a couple posts over the years, literally, a couple of posts over the years and that was it. Never updated the site. And I went ahead and re-did the site about a year ago now when I joined the Chamber of Commerce, my local Chamber of Commerce, just because I wanted to have an updated website.

So it’s a one-page website now, no blog posts, no internal pages, and I’m ranking number one in Maps. Anyways, and it’s all 100% RYS tactics, guys. That’s just incredible. Three years, nothing else has been done and I’m still outranking all the other SEO agencies in Virginia, which is insane.

This stuff works, man. That’s Local GMB Pro. That’s kind of why we’ve been pimping that for the last few weeks, guys, because it just works really well at generating leads, which brings us to the first question for today.

How Does GMB Posting Help In Lead Generation For Local Clients?

Aditya. I know I destroyed your name, so I apologize. He says, “How’s posting in GMB helps in lead generation for local clients?” Because it’s more of a mobile, it kind of speaks directly to the mobile search algorithm, and so you’ll find that the vast majority of traffic and leads that come from the GMB posting and the stuff that we’re doing inside the GMB dashboard is going to be mobile traffic. We’ve talked about this in the past.

In fact, do we still have the original webinar that we did, when we kind of pitch this, that we can drive people to? Because if so, I’ll just drop the link to that webinar and tag him on this, have him go watch the webinar because we discuss how we think it’s working. We don’t work for Google so we don’t know for sure, but we think we know how it works. Do we have that link guys by chance?

Adam: Yeah, sorry. One more time, which link?

Bradley: The link to the webinar for the GMB Pro-?

Hernan: Was it the launch?

Bradley: The launch webinar, yeah.

Adam: Yeah, we can grab that.

Bradley: Okay. Again, guys, we talked about it, whatever pricing was listed in that webinar we will not honor that now. It’s launched, so it’s at the launch price, whatever the full price. So just be aware that if you’re gonna watch the replay from the launch webinar that price is no longer valid. We stated very clearly that it was a very limited offer. But the course nonetheless is, it’s worth every freaking penny regardless. Okay?

What Are Best Practices In Optimizing A Photo For Local Business?

All right. Quit This House, I always forget your name, sorry, buddy. But anyways, he says, “Good day, gents. Thanks for the weekly sharing. I appreciate it so very much.” You’re welcome. “How do you tag photos with the area of the business etc? What are other ways to optimize a photo for best SEO practices?”

Okay. Well, it’s funny because I was actually recording training today. I added several videos to the GMB Pro course today specifically for that, so I certainly can’t reveal it all. But I can give kind of a high-level conceptual overview of some of the things that you can do. Okay. So one of the things you can do is just use photos from the area … First of all, the best thing to do is get original photos. Let me just start off with that. If you can get original photos that are taken on location for the areas that your business covers. Right?

If it’s a service-area business, which means the business goes to the customer’s location, not the other way around. A storefront or point-of-sale business is a type of business where the customers come to the business location, right? So that would be like a store. But a service-area business would be like contractors or kind of like for the case study I’m dealing with a taxi service. Right?

So those are called service-area businesses. So for those, the best thing to do is to go out in various locations within the service-area and take photos from a phone with the GPS enabled so that you get the EXIF data, the geodata literally stamped or embedded directly into the metadata of the file of the photo. Okay? That’s the best. However, as I have experienced as in the recent weeks with my clients that I’m doing this for, many of my clients have promised me that they were going to get me photos, because most of my current clients are contractors so they have technicians to go out and do jobs and such, and I tell them, all I need you to do is just take photos when you go to a new job.

Take two or three photos, drop em into a folder that I’ve set up for each one of my clients, and none of them have given … Let me take that back, I’ve got one client that has given me about six photos. In about a month, and that’s it. All the other clients, they keep saying “Oh yeah, we’re gonna do it, we’re gonna do it” and they never do it.

So I gave up, I quit trying to bug them, now I’m just going the route of using stock images that I purchase licenses to, okay. And then you know, credits or whatever from … So I have an account for that, I download the stock photos, and then I upload them, or excuse me, I append a bunch of metadata to them, so you can do that, that’s the next best thing.

And that’s something you can do using Exif data tools, such as … I use GeoSetter, it’s a windows software that you download for windows, its called geosetter, its free. Geosetter.de I think is the domain, if you wanna go download it.

And I optimize my images using that. And so essentially, you can go grab geodata, latitude, longitude, you can also grab … Where do you get that? Well just go to city center, go to Google for example, and search for each one of the locations that are within your service area.

Let’s just say your business covers one county, okay? Then you can go to like, zip-codes.com type in the county and the state, and it will pull up all of the zip codes, and locations that are contained within the county. So extract those location names, extract those zip codes, and then go do a latitude-longitude finder, so again, go to Google and type latitude longitude finder, and then just type in the city name right, the location name, and hit search. And it’ll give you the city center of whatever that location name is, and it’ll give you latitude and longitude.

Now you can just put all of that into a spreadsheet, and now you have all the data that you need to go start optimizing images with specific location data. right, and then uploading those to GMB. So that’s how you do it, you can also … You can hyper-optimize the images by squeezing in a bunch of keywords and all kinds of other stuff, I pretty much stick to the basics of just location information, and then the latitude and longitude, and then I’ll also insert contact information and URL’s in a couple spots. And again, I cover all that stuff in great detail, in the course.

Does anybody wanna comment on that before I move on?

Hernan: Yeah, the webinar is all about this. And I would get unlimited images, unlimited local as a matter of fact.

Bradley: Yeah the stuff that you were telling me about today I’m not gonna reveal here, but some real ninja stuff guys, some great great ideas for generating pretty much-unlimited content for images and videos too. So, we’ll talk about that in the webinar.

What Is The Secret To Ranking YouTube Videos On the First Page of Google?

Mark Goodman, what’s up mark? I met Mark down at the SEO Rockstars event that I was just mentioning. Anyways, he said, “I have no problem ranking videos at the top of YouTube, what is the secret to ranking YouTube videos on the first page of Google?”

That’s a good one Mark, there’s really no secret, it’s work, right. The secret is some keywords just, are basically like having a version to ranking videos for them. What I mean by that is there are certain categories of search queries or terms, Google categorizes certain searches right? There’s commercial intent, there’s informational intent, various types of search categories. And some categories, Google just does not like to display videos for.

And I found that for a lot of competitive local terms guys, a lot of the times it’s difficult to rank videos for them, so the key, the trick is to find longer tail versions, or start hitting some of the suburb areas, I’m just assuming you’re talking about local mark, I don’t know that that’s the case, but for local specifically, it’s targeting some of the locations like, instead of the broad metropolitan area, target some of the suburbs, or some of the boroughs or districts or whatever. If you’re talking about a county like I just mentioned previously you can go in and gather all the different locations contained within that county, and optimize the video, the same video, that keyword plus each one of those locations if you want right.

And find out some of them are gonna rank easy, some of them won’t. That’s just the nature of the game, but as far as ranking a broader term and again I’m speaking about local just because that’s … Guys, you know that’s pretty much all I do anymore is local. You can build a silo Mark, if you’re not familiar with the YouTube Silo Academy, you’ve bought some of our products, you should have access to it already, you should have access to our bonus site which is included in there, go through the YouTube Silo Academy training, it’s old but it still works. The principles are still the same, that hasn’t changed at all, but take the broadest erm that you’re trying to rank for, put that at the top of a playlist, and then start building, just like you would be siloing a website, you would take keywords that are longer tailed that are supporting-type keywords, and create videos or use the same video, optimized for those various supporting keywords, put them all in the same playlist, with the internal link from the description up to that top level, the top of the silo. Also link to the playlist, because the playlist is nothing more than a container right? It’s a container that contains videos. So you want a link to the container, to juice up the entire container, but also link up to the top level, the top of a silo, which is your broadest terms.

One more thing, once you’ve published the video, go in and comment underneath, the first comment on the video, as soon as its published go in and comment, and drop a link to the top video that you want to rank. Okay, and then pin that comment, to where it’s the pinned comment at the top, like it’s the first comment, and it will stay the first comment underneath the video.

Okay, so now you’ve got an internal link form the YouTube description, going to the top level video in the silo, which is the one you wanna rank, then you’ve also got an internal link pointing to the playlist, which powers up the entire container, then you’ve got a comment link which is, I believe, a do-follow link, as long as it’s an internal link, from the video up to your top-level term. The top-level video essentially.

Right? And now you’ve got basically every single one of your video URLs, are target URLs for link building, and your playlist URL is a target URL. For link building. Does that make sense? And so you’ve got literally a bunch of URLs now, and by the way, in case you guys weren’t aware of this, and this is covered in YouTube Silo Academy, but for each … Whenever you put a video in a playlist, you have the original video URL, but then once it’s added to a playlist, and you play the video from the playlist, now it has it’s own unique playlist URL for that specific video.

So think about how many URLs you can extract from this. And we’re not even talking about all the variations of YouTube URLs either, I’m talking about just the straight YouTube URL and playlist URL, you can get a bunch of variations from those and now you’ve got … You can just do a ton of link building.

One other thing Mark, the last thing I’m gonna say about this before moving on, is engagement. Engagement is one of the most primary ranking factors for YouTube videos now, not just on YouTube but also on Google. And so, I’ve talked about this many times but how to use YouTube ads to rank local videos. In Google search right? Let me repeat that, how do you use YouTube or Google AdWords to buy views and clicks that are locally relevant, cause you can set all this up through targeting, we’ve covered this in great detail in the past, you can go to our YouTube channel, YouTube.com/semanticmastery, click the channel search function, and type in YouTube ads for ranking local videos, or something like that, and just start perusing through.

You’ll see within the last two months or so we did an extended answer on this, on how to do that in Hump Day Hangouts. Okay but it’s really, really a great way to do it, pretty much almost standard operating procedure for all videos that I try to rank for local terms, I go in and set up an AdWords campaign now for it. A dollar a day to start with guys, it’s 30 bucks a month. And once I start getting the traction or I get ranked I back it down to about 50 cents a day, which costs 15 dollars per month to maintain, okay. It’s totally worth it. So, we’re going to move on.

Hernan: I would just add to what you just said, video powerhouse, to get in bed, and then we also have our own YouTube views platform, but that’s in beta testing, also it’s about to be released, so I would say next couple of weeks it’ll be ready, and then you could buy views from us, you know. You don’t have to go and learn how to [inaudible 00:26:35] YouTube ads and all that stuff if you don’t want to, you could just get ‘em from us. It’ll be cheaper than buying from you YouTube.

Bradley: Yeah, and forgive me for not mentioning video powerhouse but yeah, that’s certainly part of it, that’s part of the whole Silo Academy stuff, or excuse me, YouTube silo stuff that I do, includes embedding because you can … Think about it guys, if you’ve created a YouTube silo, you’ve got all these other supporting YouTube videos right? Each time you do an embed blast with those, is very similar to doing link building to any of the URLs, in that your powering up that specific video, but that video has a link both in the video description, and the comment area, that links up to the top level video that you’re trying to rank, as well as the playlist which powers up everything contained within it. So my point is, is that the embeds plus the backlinks, plus the engagement. All of those combined if what you need Mark, to get ranked. Okay.

How To Schedule Post In WordPress Using RSS Masher?

Arpiet says “How to schedule a post in WordPress using RSS masher?”

Ah that sounds like a really good question to ask Damon Nelson, the developer of RSS Masher, again I don’t support his product, I know we have promoted it, and it’s a great product, don’t get me wrong its just I don’t support it so I don’t, I really can’t tell you, there may be a scheduling option inside of RSS masher, I’d be surprised if there wasn’t.

I haven’t been in RSS masher in about a year, and it’s not because it’s not a good tool, it’s a great tool, it’s just I haven’t been using it. Because I have my VA’s and all of our processes that they, they do everything basically manually. RSS Masher’s a great tool, guys, for doing feed splicing, and doing some really cool stuff cause you can embed, like inject content into the RSS feed, if you splice feeds you can add HTML links, I think you can even embed stuff in there now, it’s crazy. It’s a great tool, there’s a lot of really cool stuff that you can do with RSS masher.

There’s also another great RSS SEO tool, that’s Lisa Allen’s, it’s called Rank Feeder. And Rank Sniper, or RSS Sniper I think it’s called, or something like that. I don’t use that, I just use the rank feeder side of it, which is like, you create these co-citation feeds, which is incredibly powerful. It’s strictly an SEO tool though, where RSS masher, Damon nelson’s tool can be used for affiliate stuff, for content marketing, for splicing feeds, there’s a lot of really cool stuff you can do with it, okay. Both of them are great tools by the way.

When you trying to publish many posts… Again, I would direct you to ask a question specifically about the functionality of RSS masher to Damon.

“Is it still helpful to ranking in 2018?” Yeah, it can be, again I don’t look at RSS masher as strictly a ranking tool, I look at it as a marketing tool. Rank Feeder is an SEO tool. Okay, so yeah, you can still use it to help rank as well, but again I think it’s more functional than just for ranking purposes. So is it still relevant or valid? Yes. Absolutely, for more than just ranking. If you’re looking for just a ranking solution rank feeders a better bed in my opinion. Okay. Good question though.

How Do You Find The Best VA To Do Keyword Research?

Next Scott says, “I’m having a” … What’s up Scott, he says “I’m having a tough time finding a keyword VA to do the keywords for GMB accounts like your keyword research girl, did you find your keyword vs through Upwork, OnlineJobs.ph, or somewhere else?” Probably OnlineJobs.ph, where’d you find her Marco?

Marco: Yeah actually it’s Hernan fires up the [crosstalk 00:30:08] our outsource Kingpin hiring funnel and then he does the preliminaries, and then I just get the cream of the crop. And then I do an interview, we found Joel that way, Joel is awesome.

Bradley: Yep

Marco: And then we found that keyword research girl, the exact same way, just fired up the funnel. And maybe, or it could be Scott, if you’re advertising for a keyword VA your target is wrong. And I always tell Hernan, just get me someone who can follow direction.

Bradley: That’s it.

Marco: That’s all I want, if they can watch a video and understand that all they have to do, they don’t have to think, they just have to do what the video tells them to do, and that’s all I want because then she went through Jeffrey Smith’s SEO ultimate Bootcamp, the keyword training in there, then that work empire ultimate keyword tool, Bradley Benner’s keyword training, keyword training RYS reloaded style, and then that all gets put together into actionable silos. So that all you … Then you take those keywords and apply them into the silo that the VA sets up. But I mean that’s all the process. But the original processes is, Hernan, just get me someone who can follow directions.

Hernan: Yeah. And sorry if I can add real quick, that’s the whole thing. It doesn’t really matter what kind of paths they’re gonna be doing, of course it helps, if they’re in a customer service position they need to have really good English right? Written and … Written mostly. If they’re into the SEO virtual assistant side of things, so they need to follow instructions, it might help, or it might not help that they have some experience. We sometimes check that out, sometimes we don’t, but I think Scott, that it doesn’t have to do specifically with where, but what’s the process that you put them through.

So again, it has to … You can get people from Upwork, Freelancer, OnlineJobs.ph, now we hire … The hiring funnels for some Spanish VAs we’re looking for, bilingual VAs. So, it’s not a matter of where it’s a matter of how you’re getting them. And again, it all comes down so that they can follow instructions number one, that they are motivated to work with you. That’s the whole process hiring funnel. And I would say that yeah, that would be pretty much it.

If I may add Scott, some people in the MasterMind they will fire up the hiring funnel, and they will end up with an excess of applicants that are really good, so you can go ahead and ask in the MasterMind Facebook group, that’s one of the things that I love by the way, but you can ask in the MasterMind Facebook group, who has some applicants that they thought were really good, that but you can not just take them because of the bandwidth of your process, and your project. I think that there are some people that are, ended up with five or seven or even ten applicants that they found that they were really good but they cannot hire. So go ahead and ask on the MasterMind group because I’m pretty sure that there are some people in there that are willing to help you.

Bradley: And I think Daryl Dressel had some the last time he, it might have not of been Daryl, but I think it was, I seem to remember a thread in the MasterMind just recently where he had fired up the hiring funnel and had like six really qualified candidates, but we only wanted to hire two or something like that, so there was like four available candidates, and so as Hernan just mentioned guy, that’s … Scott, you should have access to Outsource Kingpin, at least as far as I’m aware right? You’re a MasterMind member, go through it man, I’m telling you, it’s incredible.

As Hernan just found out, cause he fired it up for trying to find some bilingual VAs, it was a little bit more difficult looking for Spanish VAs than it was for Philippines VAs, but it works like magic for Philippines VAs, we have found, I mean, shit, I think between all of us now we’ve got 30-35 VAs maybe, maybe even more than that. Its crazy, and all of them have been basically all found and hired through the Outsource Kingpin hiring funnel.

Hernan: Yes. If I may add, I think It has to do with the specific … Because it’s the first time that we have had some issues hiring people. Not some issues, but some delays. I think it has to do with the websites not being ready to take on this kind of funnel. We managed to work it out but it took us a little bit longer. I think that the people in the Philippines, they are so used to work remotely, and the websites are making that easier, it works like crazy. Works like magic anyway.

Bradley: Yep and just, to mention real quick, what’s so good about it guys is that fact that as Marco just said, most of the time were not looking to hire skilled help right, because we’re going to train them in the exact processes that we want, in the exact way that we want them done, right. And that’s the key to it guys because of the problem with hiring skilled … Now don’t get me wrong, there are times when you’re gonna need to hire skilled help, like a coder for example or a programmer or something like that, which I’ll do. And typically when I’m going to look for skilled help, skilled labor, I’ll go to Upwork. And I will post a job that is only viewable by invitation. In other words, it’s not a publicly posted job, I will go … I will screen candidates that have profiles in Upwork, I’ll go hand select a handful of them, and then send them an invitation to bid on the job or to review the job right. For skilled work.

But for the most part, our VAs that we hire on salary, which is full-time positions, we’re gonna train them. So we don’t look for skilled help, and so again most of the posts that I do whenever I need to hire another vs is I’ll post, SEO virtual assistant. Seeking SEO virtual assistant, or seeking virtual assistant, or seeking administrative help, or something like that so I’m not talking about, need a keyword research person. You know what I mean? Because I’m gonna train them, with processes which again, all this is taught in Outsource Kingpin, but exactly how I produced the training.

Any of you guys that have ever seen my process docs, they all look the exact same. There’s no difference, all I do is record the training in a video, and then I go back and I basically transcribe the training, the video into a Google doc. That’s a bulleted Google doc, like a list basically. Numbered and bullets. And that’s how all of my process docs look. And it works really well. Because now anything that I can do, I can train somebody to do, using that exact same method.

So anybody that says that they don’t have time because they’re overwhelmed with work, or they can’t outsource because nobody can do it as good as them, no. It’s because you just haven’t taken the time to document how you do it. That it okay.

And guys, I don’t always drink my own Kool-Aid right, there are times, there are certain functions of my job that I just have not ever outsourced because I did not want to relinquish control. It was just the first of this year, January of this year, that I finally outsourced client reporting. I had been doing that myself, throughout my entire digital marketing career. And it was just eating up two to three days at the beginning of every month for me, and I just continued to do it, and I finally outsourced that in January and what a load off. Cause I got two and a half, three days back every single month now.

So again, it’s something that I highly recommend you guys get into doing Scott.

Sam, it’s funny, Scott and Sam, we met both of them in Portland, at the same event. [inaudible 00:38:07] hang out in Portland.

Would A Narrow Niche Site Ranks With Only The Homepage And 3 Category Pages?

Sam says “For a niche site with a very narrow focus, rather than building multiple silos, could I get away with putting my main 2,000+ word article on a static homepage and try to rank the homepage? And having two to three category home pages with supporting blog posts?”

Yeah absolutely Sam, if it’s a narrow focus why not, right? Absolutely. By the way guys, anybody that says, you know, I know there’s been training that … There are so many different thoughts out there about silos and, you have to have four or five silos on a site for it to be a properly siloed site and all that, that’s bullshit. I mean, maybe there’s some data to back some of that stuff up, or maybe in some really competitive terms and stuff that may be the case, but I know I’ve got sites that are just mono silos. Essentially it’s one singular silo of the site, and that’s it. And so there’s more depth to the silo but not width right. Width would be additional categories, depth is additional supporting posts within one silo.

And so we’ve got one of the case study sites that I built for Masterclass when we were doing the masterclass, is still ranking number one in maps now. And it’s a mono silo site, it’s one singular silo site with I think five pages which are subcategories and then one or two posts for each subcategory, and that’s it. And it’s been ranking number one in maps for shit, over two years now. And I haven’t some a damn thing to it.

What Website Service Would You Recommend For Real Estate Agents?

Anyways, next would be Ajay, he says “Which website service do you recommend for real estate agents? Also, what features should we look for or ask to allow a syndication network to be built?”

Okay, I can’t answer website platforms for real estate agents, I couldn’t tell you because I don’t deal with them, we have plenty of members though that do work in real estate that could probably comment on this even page. So those of you, Greg, Damon, you know a number of you, [Tahla 00:40:03], if you’re on, any of you guys that are watching that are in the MasterMind that I know are in real estate, if you guys wanna jump in and help Ajay with some recommendations, that would be great. Also, what features should we look for or ask to allow a syndication network to be built? Well, if some of these guys can recommend website platforms for real estate that have RSS feeds and a blog, you could just use that right, if not, then what I recommend doing, and typically whenever we run across any type of site for clients or whatever, any projects that aren’t on … The primary site or the blog is not held on WordPress, then our go to method is to install WordPress on a subdomain of the root domain.

So in other words, if you’re gonna go with a real estate website platform solution, that does not have a blog and an RSS feed function, then I would recommend that on a subdomain of that, the domain that you build the website on, so whatever it may be, I would put a blog.subdomain on it, and install WordPress and use that subdomain and the WordPress installation as your content distribution engine. Cause you can still accomplish the same stuff having the blog on a subdomain. And that give you all of the functionality of WordPress, without having to try to integrate the real estate website platform into syndication network and all of that, because sometimes that can be difficult if it doesn’t have an RSS feed.

So again, just install WordPress on a subdomain, good to go.

Alright, Kraig says … The GMB Pro Facebook group’s live, and wow, and there’s activity in there already, a lot of activity already, it’s been kind of a whirlwind of activity for the last couple of days so Kraig, reach out to support if you haven’t got access already.

What Deficiencies Should You Point Out To A Prospect To Sell The Value Of Local GMB Strategy To Them?

Nigel says “Good day gents”, what’s up Nigel. He says “What’s a good pitch to sell the value of local GMB strategy? For instance, what deficiencies can/should you point out to help close prospect? Can you review an example of and how do you address any metrics or proof?

Yeah Nigel, all I’m doing for proof is just showing GMB insights of accounts that we’ve applied this method to, that’s it. That’s it. That’s all the proof I need. So keep it simple, not talking to you directly Nigel, but keep it simple stupid. So KISS, the Keep It Simple Strategy, how do you show proof? Well, you just show Google insights where this method has, it worked really well. And just show hey, here’s the number of times you’ve been given impressions, this is how many times people hae engaged, they’ve clicked through your website or clicked through to a website, or phone calls, or driving directions if it’s a storefront, you can show all of that. And insights guys, as GMB continues to evolve, which they’re adding new shit all the time, insights is becoming more … There’s more data now. And they’re gonna be rolling out new metrics and KPIs and things like that, we’ll be able to measure or monitor within GMB insights as well.

Some really cool stuff we just saw this week, in fact in the GMB pro I think it was Greg, Greg [inaudible 00:43:12] who posted some insights reporting, showing the questions and answers. Those of you that are local guides, you guys know, if you’re a local guide, you know you’re probably getting prompted on your phone, often, whenever you’re out and about in town, to answer questions about locations that you’re next to, or hat your visiting right?

Well, those are now questions and answers, the results of those questions that GMB is asking are now being displayed in insights too. To the business owner. So the business owner can get a better idea of, what kinda sentiment is coming from people answering questions about their business.

So it’s, I forget I think maybe it was Marco that mentioned it in the thread that Greg started about this in the GMB Pro Facebook. This is Google crowdsourcing data for GMB. [Marc 00:44:05] you wanna comment on that?

Marco still here?

Marco: I was talking into a muted mike, sorry.

As far as how you sell this, I’m sorry, that’s the question right?

Bradley: Yep. Well, I wanna talk about also the crowdsourcing, Google crowdsourcing for data right now.

Marco: Yeah, but the … I was kinda talking about that while you were talking to me. And I really wanna focus on that, but we tend to complicate things when we pitch it. And simple really works, you show as Bradley said, results. And if someone can’t react to them, what was it you said? If someone seeds them and they don’t get excited [crosstalk 00:44:58]

Bradley: They’re likely dead.

Marco: Yeah. I think, please. And you just move on, because there’s someone there goes “Oh okay, I want that for me”. Most people react that way.

Bradley: That’s how I sold it to three of my client just, sorry Marco, but just real quick, the first three that I pitched, clients of mine that were already existing clients, that’s all I did, as I just showed GMB insights screenshots and I said: look at this, I can absolutely quantify the results of this service within 30 days, try it out” and two out of three of them jumped on it.

The only reason why the third one didn’t, is because he’s overwhelmed with calls right now, he literally asked me to help him throttle his call volume down. I’m not kidding you. But anyways, go ahead Marco.

Marco: No I mean, the training is simple, because it’s a simple concept. The pitch should be just as simple because again, what you’re selling them it’s so simple. This is what you get. If I do this, this is what happens. And so it’s cause and effect relationship, and it’s really on a pay … You’re going to produce, or you don’t get paid right? And you keep it that simple.

Bradley: Yep. That’s the other thing Nigel remember, keep it that way. Say look no contract … I like the no contract idea, although I may have to start using some contracts for some stuff that I’m doing, I pretty much always run my agency without any contracts, I have on occasion used contracts when it was required by the client, usually for bigger companies, but most of the smaller companies that I work with I just tell them to flat out “Look, there’s no contract, you can cancel at any time. If I’m producing results for you, you should want to continue paying me so that you can continue getting those results. If I’m not producing, you shouldn’t be committed or obligated to continue paying me. You should be able to just you know, part”.

So anyway, “Example of how to set up a G site landing page quickly for conversions, and can you show an example?”

Well, first of all, I can’t show an example, not sure what you mean about a G site landing page? If you’re talking about just setting up a Google site to act as a landing page, really that’s just design element stuff and Nigel honestly, all you need to do is just go do some Google searches for high converting local landing pages type stuff, and you can look … There’s been a lot of research done on this stuff guys.

So just go look at some of the research and you’ll see that there’s pretty much only a handful of basic elements that should be on a landing page, that is set up for conversions. And a lot of times you can mimic an AdWords landing page. Like what they consider to be the best type of landing page for lead generation, for local businesses that are running AdWords. Just mimic something like that. Excuse me, model something like that. That’s all that you need to do.

I mean there’s a reason why most landing pages look very similar guys because they work, they have been tested to death okay.

What Is The Impact Of Removing The Street Address From The NAP On The Effectiveness Of The Local GMB Strategy?

Alright, we’re gonna keep on moving. Don says “With the new local GMB strategy I have been acquiring more and more addresses to verify”, very good Don “From an SEO point of view have you noticed any difference in effectiveness when you remove the street address from the NAP service-area of business?”, well see, as per Googles terms of service, or their recommendations for service-area businesses you should not display the address. It should always be checked or, the box unchecked or whatever to display the business address, and again that’s per Googles own terms of service for service-area businesses.

So, I’ve just about, I don’t know I might have one or two that are actually displaying the address, but they were projects that I’ve never followed through with, so pretty much all of my [inaudible 00:48:46] properties for clients that are service-area businesses, I basically right off the bat, just so you know typically when I register the business, if I’m setting up the GMB listing for the first time, and I have to get it verified, then I will make sure the address is displayed when I first set up the listing, to request the postcard. But then once the postcard and the verification occurs, once I have that pin number or the pin or whatever, and I entered that and verified it, it becomes a published listing, then the first thing I do is uncheck that box to display the address. Because that’s again, per their recommendations.

I know some people have experimented with that, and even for service-area businesses they’ll show the address, and it will get better results for ranking, but I don’t wanna lose … I also, remember, a lot of these are spammed addresses. In other words, they’re P.O. boxes, and I don’t want a competitor looking at Google maps and seeing very quickly by just clicking the satellite button, that it’s a post office. Or even if it’s got a map pin basically sitting right on top of my pin, and it shows as a US post office. So I want to hide that address so that that doesn’t occur.

I mean, a competitor could go do a quick Google search for the business name plus the phone number and find other citations that are gonna list the address, but I don’t wanna make it stupid easy for them, right? Make them work for it at least.

So Don I really can’t answer that, maybe somebody else can tell you, I wouldn’t mess with it, I would not show the street address for service-area businesses. Unless customers also come to that location. Which that is an exception, and that’s also covered in the Google help files.

Marco: For SEO, if he’s doing RYS Reloaded he needs to display the address so that our builders can find the address and build the stack, and hook everything up to the address, once that process is done then he can hide it, but once he’s done building the drive stack he can hide the address. But you need that drive stack, and you need it for a very specific purpose. If you’re in RYS reloaded, read the black book, it’ll tell you why you need to display the address, it’s all explained in there. But yes, there is an SEO point of view on this, once that’s done and taken care of, you can go ahead and hide it, and you should be okay.

What Are Your Thoughts On The GMB Agency Dashboard?

Bradley: Yep. James says “I have yet to take local GMB pro course, but I gather what I can from Hump Day Hangouts” that’s what a lot of people do James, and we encourage that guys, we talk about that a lot, I mean Mohammed Maki, one of our star members right now of the MasterMind, has been amazing. He came and just asked questions every single week, Nigel’s another one, Nigel’s in our MasterMind, we were just talking to Nigel. The same thing, he came and asked questions every week, and applied what he learned, and took action, and both Mohammed and Nigel. And got their business generating enough revenue to where they came and joined the MasterMind. That awesome. So again James, keep doing what you’re doing man, you’ll get there. We encourage you to do that.

He says “I came across GMB agency dashboard in my Reddit newsfeed a couple of hours ago, I know it has just been released, but I was curious to know what your thoughts are on it, will it benefit SEOs doing local GMB, or will it give Google another footprint to observe?”.

No, look I haven’t had, again, this was just announced today, I just posted this link right here, just below your comment James, about bright locals post on it as well, so none of us have had time to play with it yet, we will be talking about it more once we have a little bit more experience with it, but I, look I don’t see it as being a trap of any sort, I see it as being a useful tool. Okay, if you’re gonna be managing peoples Google My Businesses for them, and they give you an agency, it’s kind of like having an AdWords manager account. I have an AdWords manager account because I manage multiple AdWords accounts. So it just makes it a lot easier, it’s not, I don’t think it’s a trap of any sort, or anything like that, they’re just trying to improve their processes right?

Again, I know Marco doesn’t think the same way I do, but I’ve always looked at Google as my business partner and not my enemy, Marco’s like, “Fuck Google” all the time. But I personally, I’ve never felt that way. So honestly, I would use the tool if it … I just haven’t, I have not tried it out yet, but I will be over the coming weeks.

What Percentage Of The Sites Are Placed In Your Main Google/GSuite Account To Boost Lead Generation Or Client Sites?

Jim says “When using Google sites for lead generation and/or boosting client sites, what percentage of the sites are placed in your main Google G Suite account? Are you spreading them across many accounts?”

For Google sites, yeah I do, I would create the main Google site, which will be the branded Google site, under the main account, but everything else that I’m using specifically just for link building purposes, I do all those under persona accounts guys. Keep your accounts separate, okay. Keep your accounts separate guys. Remember you wanna keep your branded properties, the profiles that own the branded properties, you wanna keep them as clean as possible. So do all your other activities, spammy or nonspammy, any time you’re building Google sites for the specific purpose, the sole purpose of ranking, using for link building and to help rank other properties right? That spam guys. I don’t care whether you like that word or not, it’s spam. So keep your spammy activity outside of your main Google branded profiles. You’d definitely want to keep that out, keen them separate. Guys you can buy, phone verified Google accounts for dirt cheap. You can use those accounts to set up Google sites and do all the spammy stuff that you wanna do. Okay.

Marco: My answer to this is none. I get them from our own builders, and what they turn over is the Gmail account, and we have a specific way. We make our main account the manager of that drive stack and the G site and whatever. So that we never again have to go in there and touch that drive stack. It doesn’t need to. If it does, then I just turn it back to the builders, and I say just give me more folders and files, and whatever. And the main purpose for that, is not only to protect the account, but also you don’t wanna overburden the one Gmail account, of the one drive account with the script that we run. And if you run multiple scripts inside one account, you are going to get banned. You’re going to wake up and everything gonna be gone. Googles going to tell you, we don’t appreciate you using our resources like that.

Bradley: Yep. Yes, spread your eggs across many baskets, let’s put it that way. I will create a branded Google site underneath the main profile for that business, but like Marco said, when I order a drive stack for that business, that’s a separate Google site that gets built. That’s not the … I’m not, I will include the branded Google site that I created under the branded profile, I’ll include that URL as one of the target URLs for the drive stack, but that’s not the drive stack Google site, that Google site for the drive stack is created underneath the persona profile that was used when the entire drive stack was created. So again, keep those things separate, there’s a reason for it, and it’s to eliminate any potential spammy penalties from Google. For your business profile.

Is There A Difference In Terms Of Ranking A Blog In The Same Domain And On A Separate Domain?

Dan, what’s up Dan, he says “Is there a difference in effectiveness as far as rankings go for having the blog page and the website vs having the blog page link out to an established blog website the business has had for years?”

Okay so basically, your blog is on an external domain right, a separate domain. Blog page on the website vs having a blog page link out.

Okay, I think I know what you mean. So if you’ve got a money site, and for example in the navigation menu on the money site, you’ve got a blog button or a blog link, that would typically go to the blog roll within the same domain right? The blog index page, however you’re saying, could it link to an external blog?

Yeah I’ve got a couple of clients where that’s the case, and so there’s a few things that you can do, you can do[inaudible 00:57:13] tags from the blog which is on another domain, to point back to the main money site, you can do that, you can also use the other blog to certainly just do contextual links like you typically would for normal link voting purposed back to the money site. So there’s a number of things you can do for that, if it’s an established blog though, as long the brands are associated, as long as those two domains are associated with that brand, which you can do a lot of that stuff with structure data too, it should be okay.

Obviously it would be better to have the blog on the domain itself, but I know in some situations, there’s some unique I have where it’s very similar, the blog has been on an external domain, and we’ve still been able to make it work, okay.

“The real question is where will the relevance go, I’m thinking the GMB site and the blog site? Thanks” yeah, I would just make sure everything is really branded well, everything is interlinked well do that Google understand that those two domains are both part of that entity. And again, you can accomplish a lot of that with structured data. Something else you may want to do, is remember in GMB guys, you have the website and then you have the appointment setter URL, you might be able to squeeze that one in there too. The blog URL. Try that and see, it might work.

Okay were almost done, sett, were almost out of time too, this has worked out.

Thanks for the information about VAs I will fire up an outsource funnel asap, yeah Scott, remember you’re in the MasterMinds, so if you have any questions about that, please feel free, we’ll be happy to … And again, a lot of our members in the MasterMind have used it very successfully, so there will be of plenty of people to jump in and help you out if you need it.

Hernan: Yes and Scott, if you need any kind of walk through or any kind of specific advice, just make a post on the Facebook group, tag me, and I’ll tell you what we do, I’ll tell you what I do, what I’m looking for when I’m interviewing these folks and whatnot, so that you can have a better understanding but yeah, you should have plenty of results like, plenty of pre screened VAs in the MasterMind group itself. So.

Bradley: Yeah so, you might not even have to go through that process. It would be good for you, Scott if you were gonna be building your team, to go through that process and learn it and set it up for your own business anyways, but my point is if you just need a quick, if you just need to hire a VA right away because you’re overwhelmed or whatever, again, there’s probably gonna be people that already have screened very qualified candidates and they’ll have some that they could direct your way. Okay.

Okay Don, apparently we answered your questions so good, well thanks everybody for being here, this worked out, on the money, 5pm. Wow. So we don’t have any other webinars this week do we guys?

Adam: I think that is it.

Hernan: Yes,

Bradley: Alright everybody, well thanks everybody for being here, well see you all next week.

Adam: Awesome.

Hernan: See all you guys.

Marco: Bye everybody.

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 187 posted first on your-t1-blog-url

0 notes

beyondvapepage · 6 years

Text

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 187

youtube

Click on the video above to watch Episode 187 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at https://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Chris: Been good. How are you doing?

Adam: Good deal. So, are you traveling? Where in the world is Chris located this week?

Chris: I’m in the secret spot in Scandinavia.

Adam: Awesome. It sounds like it’s some Dr. Evil hideout or something.

Chris: Pretty much.

Adam: Good deal. Hernan, how you are doing?

Adam: Good deal. Good deal. Marco, how are you doing?

Marco: What’s up, dude? I’m working on the first Google My Business webinar. I’m deep in the lab trying to get it ready. I got some good stuff planned for our first webinar.

Adam: Would you say that this is only for people who are members of Local GMB Pro?

Marco: I would say not only should they be members of Local GMB Pro, they better be in the Facebook group so they can get the link, because that’s the only place it’s going to be shared.

Bradley, how are you doing today on this fine day?

I’m excited to be here. Lots of good stuff coming up.

Adam: Awesome.

Hernan: Real quick, sorry, Adam. Guess what guys? We used the Outsource Kingpin process to actually get these amazing VAs which we are hiring.

Bradley: Yep.

Hernan: I just wanna mention that.

Bradley: That’s an outsource stack.

Hernan: Yep.

Bradley: Awesome.

Adam: All right. Well, unless you guys know anything else, I think we should jump into it.

How Does GMB Posting Help In Lead Generation For Local Clients?

Adam: Yeah, sorry. One more time, which link?

Bradley: The link to the webinar for the GMB Pro-?

Hernan: Was it the launch?

Bradley: The launch webinar, yeah.

Adam: Yeah, we can grab that.

What Are Best Practices In Optimizing A Photo For Local Business?

Does anybody wanna comment on that before I move on?

Hernan: Yeah, the webinar is all about this. And I would get unlimited images, unlimited local as a matter of fact.

What Is The Secret To Ranking YouTube Videos On the First Page of Google?

How To Schedule Post In WordPress Using RSS Masher?

Arpiet says “How to schedule a post in WordPress using RSS masher?”

When you trying to publish many posts… Again, I would direct you to ask a question specifically about the functionality of RSS masher to Damon.

How Do You Find The Best VA To Do Keyword Research?

Bradley: Yep

Bradley: That’s it.

So again, it’s something that I highly recommend you guys get into doing Scott.

Sam, it’s funny, Scott and Sam, we met both of them in Portland, at the same event. [inaudible 00:38:07] hang out in Portland.

Would A Narrow Niche Site Ranks With Only The Homepage And 3 Category Pages?

What Website Service Would You Recommend For Real Estate Agents?

Anyways, next would be Ajay, he says “Which website service do you recommend for real estate agents? Also, what features should we look for or ask to allow a syndication network to be built?”

So again, just install WordPress on a subdomain, good to go.

What Deficiencies Should You Point Out To A Prospect To Sell The Value Of Local GMB Strategy To Them?

Marco still here?

Marco: I was talking into a muted mike, sorry.

As far as how you sell this, I’m sorry, that’s the question right?

Bradley: Yep. Well, I wanna talk about also the crowdsourcing, Google crowdsourcing for data right now.

Bradley: They’re likely dead.

Marco: Yeah. I think, please. And you just move on, because there’s someone there goes “Oh okay, I want that for me”. Most people react that way.

So anyway, “Example of how to set up a G site landing page quickly for conversions, and can you show an example?”

I mean there’s a reason why most landing pages look very similar guys because they work, they have been tested to death okay.

What Is The Impact Of Removing The Street Address From The NAP On The Effectiveness Of The Local GMB Strategy?

What Are Your Thoughts On The GMB Agency Dashboard?

What Percentage Of The Sites Are Placed In Your Main Google/GSuite Account To Boost Lead Generation Or Client Sites?

Is There A Difference In Terms Of Ranking A Blog In The Same Domain And On A Separate Domain?

Okay so basically, your blog is on an external domain right, a separate domain. Blog page on the website vs having a blog page link out.

Okay were almost done, sett, were almost out of time too, this has worked out.

Okay Don, apparently we answered your questions so good, well thanks everybody for being here, this worked out, on the money, 5pm. Wow. So we don’t have any other webinars this week do we guys?

Adam: I think that is it.

Hernan: Yes,

Bradley: Alright everybody, well thanks everybody for being here, well see you all next week.

Adam: Awesome.

Hernan: See all you guys.

Marco: Bye everybody.

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 187 posted first on http://beyondvapepage.blogspot.com

0 notes