#like i know her behaviour hurt my dad. and i just get the vibe that she thought some money might’ve been left to her

[fingertipsmp3]

My sister messaged me

[mushangaa]

Metal

2024/02 (full view) Water | Earth | Metal

Frida, the oldest, her element is Metal and boy does she know how to use it in combat. But instead of cold grey I went with a more loving interpretation. And Bismuth vibes. Iridescent Bismuth has all them colours of her sibs in it too. I talked a bit about her element in relation to Raphaels element (fire) in this post.

And I shall ramble some more in general under the cut.

I just love Frida, or rather the Frida I cooked up in my head since we never got her properly in rottmnt. She is rather mature and responsible, she has a lot of things to keep on top of on the farm and is very business about it, thankfully she shares that load with Raphael, the other oldest sibling TM. But beneath all that she is also a bit of a gremlin like the rest of the fam, she just grew up a little too fast in some ways, but she has not let go of all of that and beneath her mature ways and responsible behaviour there is still a mischievous lil girl that sometimes will engage with the pranks of the youngest or get into some shit with the twins or convince Raph to shenanigans if she feels he has been wound up to tight lately - or full on brawl with him with reckless abandon since those two can't hurt each other that easily since they are matched in strength so Raph can let go a lil of his control and so can she. And like I dunno how to properly explain it in English but Bismuth gains it's fancy colours when it is subjected to moist air (just like silver turns black after a while and so on) and normally it is just grey and I like to relate that to Frida who is a very dark bluegreen black hue and likes simple clothes and muted colours but on the inside she is just as colourful as the rest of them you just gotta give her room to get out of her shell so to speak and be a little less restrained just like you have to dig up Bismuth for it to become colourful. She also normally does not do dresses, she gets one in her family portrait here but usually she tries to not be too femme on clothes, for one she does not like skirts and dresses too much she has a lot of farm work and loves riding, neither of those make dresses practical to her and she'd hate for her father to buy her fancy stuff only to soil or rip it needlessly. She also kinda really dislikes how she gets treated if she does go with more femme clothing - see she is the oldest daughter and a great deal of their yokai neighbours and those in town have a lot of opinions about that. Like how she is approaching the age of needing to be wed and settle down. Or how she is a bit too headstrong and opinionated for a female. Or how she needs a strong hand to reign her in obviously since her poor wifeless dad obviously raised her too much like his boys and yadda yadda and if she does then lean more into her femininity they are all over that since now that.. that is more proper isn't it? Isn't it better like this? She looks so pretty. Anyway so like Frida does not reject her femininity in general but she totally rejects how people around her define it for her and there have been some hands thrown in the past with neighbour boys who tried to court her and on one beautiful occasion Splinter roundhouse kicked a neighbour through the east wall (which the whole family happily repaired together) of their farmhouse after he made some implications about her biological clock ticking and whatnot and maybe wedding her to one of his sons before nobody wants her no more. That all is to say, Frida doesn't exactly do dressed but she does this dress. She calls it her "dress I own for your funeral if you don't mind ya business"-dress. It has magpie colours and shimmers a bit in light, the bottom part has some white flowing feather like applications in there. She fell in love with that one so Splinter got it for her for the special occasions. Frida also is the only one of her siblings who inherited her dads eyecolour.

[bbimharuuu]

I just imagined dreamer!reader saying internet slangs infront of the family or using dark humor

And dreamer!reader playing games on their phone +bonus points for the reaction of the family when dreamer!reader is being dramatic like falling on the floor and saying "I don't wanna live anymore" when they lose in the game or something

Anon you just want chaos in that realm 😭

Imagine reader just saying the most out of pocket thing just because the family doesn't understand shit.

Reader: Yeah I think Daemon and Corlys could have a head to head battle for the title "Best DILF Award"

Baela: What's a DILF?

Reader: Uh...it's an honorary title for the best dads in the world

Jace: What does DILF stand for?

Reader: 😀

Sometimes her words are so confusing that it even makes Aemond question if reader is right in the head or not if he's too tired too just ignore and accept their behaviour.

Reader: That Cole guy was sus. Didn't pass my vibe check at all

Aemond: What the actual fuck did you just say?

And the rage quit they'll do after they lost a game, I can relate to that. Sometimes when the children are all hanging out in reader's room and they just witnessed reader flipping out and screaming into the pillow like a lunatic. Yeah they'll be worried for you while they watch you punch that pillow over and over again.

Reader: (Punching the pillow)

Aegon: What are you doing?

Reader: I'm letting my emotions out!

Aemond: Why are you angry anyways?

Reader: I CAN'T BEAT THIS LEVEL IN CANDY CRUSH FOR FUCK SAKE!

Helaena: It's that where you...crush candies for fun?

Aegon: She's not crushing any candies? She's holding onto that square thing

Aemond: Not directly, you fool. She's doing it on that—

Reader: (Screams violently)

And if reader continuously make self deprecating jokes, then they'll have to endure long hours of lecture from the adults there; especially Alicent. The only one I think will get along with reader about the self deprecating jokes are Aegon honestly.

Reader: Bruh I'mma throw myself out of this castle if I lose one more level 🙂

Alicent: [NAME]! Don't say those—

Aegon: I don't know the first word that you just said but I'll gladly join you to end my suffering

Reader: Bet!

Alicent: nO

Reader has to explain about how humour in her world works if they don't want the family to basically chain them up in their room because they're scared of reader hurting themselves.

[chimchiri]

gimme your spitfire hcs babey…….😏

Lmao YOU already know basically all my hc, there's not much I can write you don't already know. But it's nice having them on my blog. So sure why not!

Attention and Power Spitfire loves being the center of attention, a trait she and Rainbow have in common. Unlike Rainbow she doesn’t shout to get it and she lets her aura speak for itself instead. And usually it works - she has an enormous presence once she enters a room. She loves being looked at in awe and she loves the feeling of power. She’s not one to abuse it though – she cares about fairness and equality, especially later in her years. But she does like the feeling of having power, both in everday life and especially in the bedroom.

Empathy/Drive to Win If Spitfire wants something, she gets it. She will turn everything upside down if she has to and has an insane drive to get to her goal. This mostly appears in wanting to win and wanting to be the best. It may appear in other daily situations though. When she's in her drive, she tends to be egocentric and forget about how she affects others. Her tunnel vision may hurt others in the end, something she's usually not aware of until later. She doesn't want to hurt anyone and if she sees she did, she will usually apologize immediately and see the error of her ways. But it's definitely one of her worse traits.

Motorcycles/Machines She is BIG into motorcycles. Not much more to say. She has a fascination with machinery and owns two or three bikes. That’s it. That’s the headcanon. I’m just a sucker for women on bikes.

Outfits Spitfire usually wears black and little to no color. It goes well with her love for Motorcycles, usually wearing leather or black jeans and boots. And of course always her signature Aviator sunglasses. Her wardrobe is largely giving off a cool vibe.

However, she does love to shock people and be given attention, as mentioned the upper segments. When she took over the Wonderbolts as the youngest captain thus far and being a woman, she received a fair share of rude comments. Mostly about her energetic demeanor and rough behaviour not making her look feminine enough and her being called ‘basically a man’. This didn’t sit well with her. Out of spite and out for revenge to anyone saying that about her, she decided to go all in for her first annual Wonderbolt hosted event. Her gala dress was as revealing as could be, showing off her back and hugging her body tighter than anyone expected. No one expected high heels from her either. She went all in with her feminine side and it paid off – no one dared to call manly after that. Sometimes she still likes to show off like that, since it gives her everyone’s attention. It's a rare occasion seeing Spitfire like that.

Family She’s the youngest of four siblings, having three older brothers. Her dad, a big burly softie, was always hoping for a small girl he could pamper and spoil with many, pink gifts. Unfortunately for him, he receive three little boys. And while he absolutely loves the, he still wanted a daughter. So when the fourth baby turned out a girl, he was crying form joy! Not for long though. Spitfire turned out to be the tomest of boys there could be. She’s rougher, louder and more brutal than her brothers and showed little to no interest in pink or girly things. Still her dad lovingly called her his princess and he spent time with her in her interests. Which included cooking and using the grill. Spits makes a mean barbecue. Once Rainbow enters the frame and he gets to know her, he's all over her, especially because she's more colorful than Spitfire.

Nicknames This is freebie for you since the first nickname initially came from you! I don’t have a hc for Spits’ WB nickname. But I do like the name Spitty, which is given to her by Fleetfoot - the only one who dares to use it. Spits tolerates it for her but she gets seriously pissed if anyone else calls her that. When Rainbow joins the WB and is influenced by Fleets, she uses that nickname as well. Spitfire begrudgingly allows it if she’s got feelings for Rainbow at that point already.

Another nickname of hers is ‘princess’, given to her by her dad. She actually likes this one a lot. Only from him though. She loves it mostly because she loves to humiliate anyone who dares laugh at this nickname and assume she’s a weak girl. She’ll obliterate you in whatever competition or simply intimidate you if you dare laugh at the nickname and make fun of her.

Childhood / Soarin Spits was a problem child. She’s always had an insane drive to win, something she and Rainbow share. Unlike Rainbow she also had some aggression problems. She never shied away from getting physical, which got her scolded quite some times. It also resulted in her having very few friends as most were scared of her.

In many AUs I love having Soarin as her best childhood friend. I see Soarin as a very soft spoken, almost timid boy growing up. Maybe it was unconventional circumstances but they got along really well after they met. They understood each other even though they were completely different in character. Both always had each other's back. Their friendship stuck until they became adults and both joined the Wonderbolts. Spitfire was the stronger flyer, so she joined one or two years earlier and pretty quickly had a steep career ahead of her. It was never a problem between the two of them though, which surprised most people as well as themselves.

Some NSFW: In some AUs I also see them being platonic soulmates with benefits – for lack of better word. They love each other and would kill for the other. But they are not in love. When younger, they kiss and touch each other, just lay and enjoy each other’s company. And not long after they start sexual activity. They never have ‘regular’ sex since Spits won’t let anyone penetrate her, but they do fuck in lots of other ways and get each other off. They both enjoy it, test a lot of things and always make damn sure the other has a fun time. Both can feel they aren't meant to be in a serious romantic relationship, so they know this won't last forever – they’re not a couple. But that doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy it. And they'll still always love each other like soulmates.

Dogs A short one but I LOVE to hc Spitfire adoring dogs. She probably can’t keep them since her job as Wonderbolt captain involves too much of her time. But she just adores dogs and hates that she can’t have one. I imagine she grew up with two of them and misses them dearly. In any AU where she isn’t a WB captain I’d probably see her having two or three dogs.

Rarity An unlikely friend from any AU that crosses with Rarijack. Spits may usually be masculine/cool in he behaviour but she isn’t ashamed of being feminine. She cares a lot about her appearance (puts a lot of time into getting her hair right and owns a lot of hair products), she loves the spa and getting pampered and she enjoys sugary, colorful drinks – all things that she’s got in common with Rarity. The don’t get along at first but after Rainbow and AJ are gone, they bond over their common likes and hit it off so well, they even end up meeting up alone sometimes. Hilariously, AJ and Rainbow both worry that they might fall for each other and get dumped by them. Rarity and Spits aren’t each other’s type at all though, which they both know and clearly state. But they’re surprisingly open with each other and enjoy the possibility to talk about their relationship to someone not from their usual circle and giving another point of view.

Aaand that's it! I love Spits. Spitty. Spitfire. What a woman!

[triplexdoublex]

I love your writing so much (your newest piece was soooo good, really hot 😍) I can't express with words how much i admire your stories, and i will always read them, even if i'm not regularly on tumblr anymore!

But I do have to say, I read less and less mgk fics on tumblr because his recent behaviour for not only the last weeks but really months? Not sure that i still want to support him like i did a year or two ago :/

It's been such a big part of my life and it's almost a feeling like i'm grieving something which sounda stupid, it's "just" a fandom and "just" an artist, but I really feel like i'm losing something important to me and there'a really nothing i can do about it 🥲

Anyways, enough sad vibes for one day, what's important is how much i love your stories and how much i love your vibe or what we see of it on your blog (and don't let them haters bother you 💕)

First I just wanted to say thank you sooo much this is probably the most heartfelt, meaningful anons I’ve ever received and it means the world to me! 🥰

But yeah I feel you on that for sure . Like I mentioned in my tags it’s getting hard to defend him lately, like can they just chill and be normal? It’s like they keep trying to out do themselves to grab more ridiculous headlines. I feel bad for their kids , especially Casie. She’s at that age where kids are brutal and we already know she’s had to deal with kids talking shit about her dad after the Em beef. He said he’d never go “Hollywood” but I’m sorry he has. Him and Megan are both attention whores. At least he never forgot where he came from and he still donates to his old highschool and ran a food and gas drive in Ohio and still shows appreciation for his fans so I gotta give him that but yeah, it’s sad how much the extra boost of fame from the last 2 albums have changed him. And I hate how he doesn’t give himself the credit for finally getting the recognition he deserves and always says things like “I don’t think it was a coincidence that things started picking up for me when Megan came into my life” and I think that plays a big part of why their always up to their foolish antics. I dunno man it hurts to even admit that I ( and a lot of others) feel this way lately but He’s lucky he’s still sexy and talented so I’ll prob keep writing about him for the time being and I’m really looking forward to the rap album but damn Colson, chill..

[thevoidbutwithselfesteemissues]

Season 1 Episode 2

Thoughts.

Previously!

Locker roooommmm

STILES AND SCOTTS REACTION TO THE REALISATION ON WHO SHOT SCOTT

AHAHAH THEY ARE SO FLABBERGASTED.

Stiles not knowing how to help and just tells him to focus on lacross

Mood

Also Scott's break down over it lmao

AND STILES TRIPPING HAHA

God I hate lacross

Lmao give Greenberg shit

"My grandmother can move faster then that. And she's dead."

Glowy eyes!!

Mcalls gonna do it again Mcalls gonna do it again Mcalls gonna do it again

VIOLENCE

RIGHT HERE??

Derek ominously standing. Judging

nuu dont hurt stiles.

PARKOR

Fire extinguisher smart!

Stiles just casually saying you tried to kill me after spraying him with a fire extinguisher is amazing.

Stiles is being responsible and reasonable

SCOTT DID YOU NOT HERE HIM????

Title screennnnnnnnn

H o u s e

She's so supportive taking Saturday off because he's playing aw.

Her saying that however may cause major issues.

DUDE

THE DRUG TALK IS HAHSDIFH

Her face God she's so concerned and confused lolol

Stiles is a dork lmaooo.

Because he's a tool.

Stiles saying they're counting on him is an awful thing to say at this point in time.

He's a golden retriever

DEREK!

LMAO MENACINGLY GRABS AND PINS

Fair but dude this is a child who doesn't know what they're doing.

Tone it down a bit der

DONT THREATEN TO KILL HIM???

DUDE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING??

Is stiles still on call?

Coach is hilarious

Love him.

Having problems with agression? Play lacross.

We don't care if you hurt someone.

What you did to Jackson doesn't matter.

Coach if fair to say this. You can't show commitment, you can't play.

"My mum, she's nothing."

DUDE.

Also the look of concern Allison gives when he says that.

Real.

She included stiles!! She's so real for that.

If you date someone you gotta be nice to their friends too.

Spooky how'd that get there.

ALSO SCOTT STOP IT

wait is it scott?

Also why is the hallway empty???

Lydia real.

Spy on his dad.

THIS TEEN ROMANCE IS KILLING ME.

FREE ME FROM THIS HELL.

GOD I HATE TV SHOW ROMANCE IT ALWAYS SUCKS.

Yeah you Sass him for dissing your friend who's been nothing but kind to you.

Scott you're being so creepy.

Like. Ew.

Good job Allison he's showing so many red flags stay clear of him.

OH GOD THAT HOUSE.

Scott don't be so mad

Also love how Derek get ominous noise and then just. Appears.

HEY DONT BE RUDE TO STILES

but I guess fair you don't know him.

Saying he's doesn't know it yet but your looking out for him???

Maybe explain???

AND HE'S GONE!

How does he do it???

I need to know.

So cool.

Stiles is so awkward lmao.

Scott not judging him for these things is such good friend behaviour.

Hospital

STILES YOU ARE SO AWKARD.

SHES JUST A PERSON.

Stiles you are giving major creep vibes.

Please stop.

SHE HEARD NOTHING LMAOOOOOOO.

GET IGNORRREEDDD

Honestly that Was the nicest thing.

Cause he just made a total fool of himself and instead of giving him shit for it she pretend she heard nothing.

And you know she did. Like did you see her facial expressions?

You are so not inconspicuous Scotty boy.

That was so sus.

Ah dead people place.

This is so sus.

Why you looking at a dead body?

WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE SHEET UP IDIOT??

YOU ARE SO GONNA GET CAUGHT!!

please don't kiss.

They kissed..

Stiles looks so done.

Stiles asking the real questions.

Also that was deflection Scott.

Answer the question.

DEREK!

He's in his car that was not there last time.

J e e p.

Too perfectly timed.

Sassy Stiles yippee.

OH

ITS A WOLF HEAD.

Fl ow e r

Real stiles, he is so unprepared.

Take the flower.

MAGIC RED LOOP

That's alot of rope

Dead girl now.

Judgy stare is back

Also why is he here. Dude. Have a better place.

P l e a s e

Scott is so done with stiles recklessness.

"I'm not afraid of you. Okay maybe I am."

Stiles sweetie

Derek that was hot.

HAHAHA

Deserved.

The dad is here!!

HAHAHA GET CAUGHT STILES!

Smartass lmao.

I love him so much.

How is the house standing up that well by the way?

Wasn't it burnt down?

Stiles I love you.

He's so curious about this.

Bag yeeted.

No more Scott.

GET OFF THE ROOF YOU CREEPY STALKER!!

Oh gross.

Where are his eyebrows??

Sees his face. Freaks out.

Mood.

Also jumping off the roof like that was so dumb.

OH CAR!!

Chris is so confused and like fair. I would be too if a teenage boy just appeared and rolled off my car.

Also Allison was upstairs how'd she get there so quickly??

Dork.

But good excuse.

Chis is also so concerned.

Lacross. Ew.

✨️ Sensory overload ✨️

He really should swear.

It feels awkward that he doesn't.

AND TOO BAD.

YOU'RE STUCK WITH THIS NOW.

GET OVER IT.

Stiles. Stiles you are making it worse.

But I feel your anxiety.

God I hate lacross.

Couldn't have been any other sport.

Coach your lack of care for his health is concerning.

Stiles is anxiety in a bottle.

I'm so uninterested in watching sport.

In team fighting yippee

Oh God his anger is gonna be bad nooo.

But Allison support your friend yeah

Jackson in asshole mode.

But he did like fuck up your shoulder so.

Glowy eyes again.

DID HE JUST GROWL??

Ref he is not okay take him off.

Other team so confused and scared lmao.

Stiles is the only one who knows what's up.

How many signs does Lydia have????

Allison looks so done with lydia

STOP BEING A RABID DOG SCOTT

WOA

Off his shoulder he goes.

Stiles is so happy for Scott this is great.

LYDIA AND JACKSON'S FACES LMAOOOOOOO

YEAH COACH YOU TELL EM

HAHA INTIMIDATION

Love coach doing to talk to stiles.

??????????

HE BROKE THE NET??????

IS THAT ALLOWED??

Scott's mum is so confused but happy.

STOP BEING A RABID DOG SCOTT MCALL!!

OOo breakdown scene??

Red visionnn

Shout out to him Allison please.

Or just talk that works too

Again stiles being excited for his friend.

He's having a panic attack and chis is putting the pieces together.

Glass break.

Here is my breakdown scene.

Allison is concerned for him sweet.

Also he's on the beams

He looks so dumb I can't

And Allison why are you in the boys locker room? Pervert.

How's he good at pretending he ain't wolf?

Probably denial

YOU SHOULD NOT HANDLE THAT KINDA WEIRD!!

THATS STALKER WEIRD.

ITS TOXIC BEHAVIOUR WEIRD.

This is so cringe.

DONT KISS

EWWWW

THEY KISSEEEDDDD

GROSSSSSSSSS

Maybe it's not that bad?

YOU OKAY WITH BEING FURRY NOW??

PLEASE SAY YES

Derek is freeeeeeeeee

IT'S REVEALED THE BODY IS DEREKS SISTERRRR

G l o v e

Jackson got glove!!

Jackson is sus of glove

DEREK HALE YOU GOTTA STOP APPEARING LIKE THAT!!

IT'S GETTING CONCERNING!!

[semper-legens]

199. Greenwitch, by Susan Cooper

Owned?: Yes Page count: 104 My summary: In Cornwall, the Greenwitch is being made. And she has a secret. The Drew children are back, and with their strange new friend, Will Stanton, they are looking for another Thing of Power - but the Dark is still strong against them, and the grail has been stolen. My rating: 3.5/5 My commentary:

Greenwitch is, I have to admit, growing on me. At first, I was thinking of it as sort of a nothing book, a midway point to get from the Dark Is Rising to the Grey King, and a way to get the second manuscript back into the hands of the kids. Now, though? Well, I count the Wicker Man as my favourite horror movie, and this has so many of the same vibes - a minor religion localised to one rural town, a being created only to be symbolically sacrificed to bring good luck, time slipping to the side as the Drew kids delve deeper and deeper into the mysteries surrounding Merriman, the Dark, and the Light. And that weird new guy, Will…

I genuinely don't understand why Merriman and Will had to be coy about Will being one of the Old Ones. I know, I've said it before and will likely say it again, but the Drew kids already guessed correctly that Merriman is Merlin, so why not have them know that Will is an Old One? It can't hurt, and would probably have stopped them from lowkey hating Will throughout this whole adventure for being strange and mysterious. It's not like Will's hiding his Old One status very well, even. He's not really changed his behaviour, he's just being unexpectedly mature and acting a little too old for his age. But no, the silly humans must be kept in the dark, a theme throughout this entire series. It's a bit feudal, as Will's dad might say.

I've said this before as well, but I love that what saves the day in the end was ultimately just a small act of compassion from a young girl to a being of wild power. She is the only one who looks at the Greenwitch and truly sees a person there, despite everything the Greenwitch is. And Jane is fiercely loyal to the Greenwitch! She stands by it through everything, even when Merriman and Will are dismissive. And she's right. Merriman and Will seek an audience with Tethys to gain her favour to remove the manuscript from the Greenwitch, trying to command it with spells, but Jane just asks as a favour and ensures that she repays the Greenwitch in kind, because she's already formed that connection, It's really nice! I love Jane Drew so much.

Next, over to Wales to meet a raven boy.

[mehbzz]

Poly!Ghostface x F!Reader Almost a sequel to this one.

Totally inspired by @looooooooomis

What's a scream fic without a Stu house party?? Just a random night though, not Tatum's death party. No beta. I cant write endings to save my life.

18+ PWP. Wall sex, dubcon, abusive relationship, possessive controlling behaviour, a little anal play.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

“You are joking.”

“It's a little slutty.”

You sigh, more than a little exasperated but you try to bite your tongue. “You don't get to tell me what to wear.”

Stu shrugs, his fingers pressing into your hipbones. “I’m just saying-”

“Well don’t,” you frown, smacking his hands away. “I’m not taking fashion advice from you when you’re dressed like a knock off Hugh Hefner.”

You ignore Billy’s snort of amusement and turn back to the mirror, eyeing your dress more critically than you had been. Despite your annoyance, Stu’s words were burrowing under your skin. You liked this dress, and it was hardly ‘slutty’. In fact it was pretty tame. With Stu’s fascination with your thighs short skirts were a thing of the past, the numerous hickies and bite marks littering your skin were a testament to that.

His hands return to your hips as he hooks his chin over your shoulder.

“You’re channelling your inner Lynda more than your Laurie, you know?”

You look at him confused and his look of disappointment lets you know you’ve missed one of their prized movie references.

You sigh again, suddenly too weary to put up a fight. “Fine.” You move to pull away but his grip tightens. “What’s up?” “Nothing. Let me get changed.” “That look is not nothing bunny, what’s wrong?” Billy is watching you through the reflection in the window and you suppress a shiver at how black it makes his eyes look. “I’m just not in the mood for a party,” You hope that’s enough but the dark stare and the way Billy’s eyebrows raise as he stares lets you know he’s not going to let it go that easily. “Seriously? Everything’s wrong!” You turn to face them, your frustration getting the better of you. “There’s a psychopath roaming the streets, who almost killed me in case you forgot, I'm worried about my dad and-” “And what?” “This.” You gesture between the three of you. “Cheating. It’s unfair to your girlfriends. Remember them?” It comes out snappier than you meant it too and you flinch a little at the way Billy’s lips twitch.

“Your dad’s away working, why are you worried?” Billy finally tears his gaze away from the window to look at you. “I know but I usually get something. Postcard, voicemail,” you trail off. “Something.”

Stu shrugs. “It wouldn't be the first time he's forgotten you.”

That stings and you lower your gaze as you turn back towards the mirror. “Yeah I guess.”

“Babe come on,” Stu tugs the ends of your hair playfully. “It’s always time for a party, good vibes, good booze, everyone together. What could be safer?”

He tugs a little harder, making you turn back around, your heart skipping a beat as Billy finally moves from his window seat to come stand next to you. They’re always so intimidating together, whether they mean to be or not. You take a deep breath as their presence surrounds you, trying to turn your sudden nervousness into annoyance at how they’re cutting your worries down so dismissively.

“And the cheating? Tatum is my friend, and Sid-” you sigh. “She deserves better. She’s been through a lot, she lost her mom and sh-”

“So did I.” Billy interrupts you.

“That's not what I meant.” wincing as Billy grabs your arm and pulls you round to face him. “No? Then what did you mean?”

Stu’s fingers twist back into your hair. “You’re a part of us bunny, the three amigos, the three musketeers! You don’t get to break up with us.”

“I’m not breaking up with you,” You didn’t get much of a say in entering this relationship and you knew you wouldn’t get a say in leaving it, not that you wanted to. You wince as Billy’s grip tightens. “You're hurting me.”

“You can't leave.”

There’s a beat of uncomfortable silence as you just stare at each other until Stu moves, pressing himself to Billy's back, chin resting on his shoulder and arms around his waist as they both watch you. “You’re killing the party vibe here bunny.” “I’m not leaving. I just, I'm sorry, forget it.”

The apology tastes a little sour in your mouth, you're don’t think you did anything wrong but Billy notably relaxes at your words. For someone who he was dating he got awfully reactive whenever you were nice to Sid. Stu grabs your wrist and twists you around with him as he turns back towards your mirror. You have to fight the urge to snap at him, the manhandling got annoying quickly. Both of them constantly touching and tugging and pulling at you. Stu was definitely worse; you had a multitude of finger shaped bruises littering your skin. “Ah bunny I forgive you,” he points to his lips. “Kiss.”

Standing up on your tiptoes you kissed him lightly, conscious of the fact Billy is watching the two of you with a sullen stare. You can feel the bruise forming on your forearm, but aside from his brooding and occasional emotional outburst that often seemed to come from nowhere, he obviously loved you, and you loved him. You did.

“Bil-”

“Keep it in your pants tonight alright? Don’t get reckless.” He ignores you, attention focused on Stu.

“You're not coming?” You ask surprised, and a little disappointed.

“Not till late.”

“Where are you going?”

“Nosy aren't you?” Stu steps in front of you, arm slung around your shoulders as he turns you and guides you back towards the closet. You feel more than a little stubborn and instead of taking the hint and changing your clothes you pick out a pair of shoes to match the dress you’re already wearing. You’re not sure why they’re making you get ready so early, there was over two hours before the party officially started. You avoid looking at either of them as you sit on the edge of your bed until Stu crouches in front of you, taking the shoe from your hand.

"I can put my own shoes on." He sits there for a moment, running a thumb up and down your ankle. The small touch sends goosebumps over your skin and he smirks, pressing a kiss to the arch of your foot as he helps you slide your shoe on. His hands slide over your calves and up your thighs, disappearing under your skirt as his fingers curl into the hem of your panties and tug them down your legs.

He throws them towards Billy who immediately shoves them into his back pocket. His eyes are dark and you find it difficult to hold his gaze. Stu’s hands resting on your knees squeeze lightly as you begin to protest. “Ah ah, you wanna wear the slutty dress you gotta commit,” he licks his lips as his gaze runs down your legs. “No panties for you.”

You nod, not bothering to argue, just resolving to grab some more out of your closet when they’ve gone. “I’ll check.” He gives you a wink as he stands and you watch them converse quietly by your door as you put your other shoe on.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. Don’t worry,” Stu’s eyes flick over to look at you. Your stomach churns as he bares his teeth in a wide grin. It feels oddly threatening and the feeling of unease doesn’t leave you as they say their goodbyes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t recognise the blonde that answers Stu’s door, someone who slurs a drunken mumble to you about drinks and the movie starting soon as they point randomly into the house. You give them a small smile and manoeuvre round them, making a beeline for the kitchen. Only giving Stu a passing wave hello, not noticing the frown he gives you at your lukewarm greeting. Grabbing yourself a beer in an effort to calm some of the raging emotions inside you, you down it quickly, the alcohol hitting your stomach and immediately making you feel better. The warmth spreading to your limbs and making you feel relaxed. You feel in better spirits, latching on to Randy when he appears at your side, resolving to focus on having a good time and forgetting your worries. Every time your bottle empties you replace it with another, your head soon feeling light and the ground beneath you starting to tilt. You find yourself moving closer to Randy, your debate on who would win in a fight between Jason or Michael getting a little more heated, completely oblivious to the way Stu watches you.

Stu is finding it hard to keep away from you. He’s filled with a volatile mix of adrenaline and lust, his cock already half hard as he watches you flirt with Randy. Violence flickers through him as his hands grab at Tatum, ignoring her protests as he pulls her closer, unsubtly grinding against her, his eyes glued to you and the way your throat bobs as you down your drink. He doesn’t follow what she says to him, too distracted with the way Randy is making you laugh. Tatum sighs, repeating her question but Stu buries his face into the side of her neck instead and sucks at her skin, a little harder than he means to. His fingers digging into her ribs too hard and too rough until she’s had enough and elbows him in the stomach, complaining he’s drinking too much as she goes off to find Sidney.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You’re thinking of Billy, you shouldn’t be, but you are. He and Stu seem to dominate your life recently, and you like to think it’s reasonable that they occupy your thoughts as well.

You startle when Sid and Tatum appear opposite you, rummaging through the bottles on the counter in search of something to drink. Sid’s smile falters slightly when she sees you. “Hey.” “Hey. Billy not with you?” you curse internally. That should not have been the first thing out of your mouth.

“I’m surprised he’s not with you, you seem to see him more than I do.” The hostility in her voice takes you off guard.

“That’s, I’m n-” you stutter awkwardly but neither of them seem willing to wait and see what you’re trying to say, Tatum pointedly ignoring you as she tugs Sid away and towards the cacophony of noise in the lounge and you watch them go, hurt by their dismissal.

“You do seem to spend more time with him than anyone else.” Randy’s not looking at you as he speaks but you give him half hearted glare anyway. “Aren’t you on movie duty?” you gesture towards the growing impatient grumbles in the other room. “Your people are getting impatient.” You ignore his parting comment, focusing on looking through the bottles for another drink and on your growing sense of misery and guilt.

“Turn that frown upside down kitten.” Stu appears at you side with another drink in his hand, pushing it in to yours with a grin which you don’t return.

“I think Sid knows. Or suspects.”

Stu looks in the direction they left with a shrug. “Nah they don't.” He clears his throat as his hand slides round your back and down to your ass, giving you a hard squeeze.

You shove him back, harder than you meant to, his look of surprise making you feel a little guilty.

“They're my friends Stu,” You nibble at your thumb anxiously. “I think Sid is right you know? We spend a lot of time together. People are noticing.”

He reaches for your hand and you bat him away. Something dark and hurt flickers across his face at your rejection but you refuse to acknowledge it, you won't let him guilt you into anything right now. “It's wrong. Tatum-”

“Don't be so uptight,” He reaches for you again and you take a step back, glancing around to make sure no one is watching the two of you. Stu sighs. “We won’t be together much longer.”

“You're breaking up with her?” You're surprised.

“Yeah, you're right. It’s not fair to her.” he smirks. “OK? So will you relax now?”

You don’t believe him, his flippant tone not convincing you that he means it. “I need some air.” You take a large gulp of the drink he gave you, regretting it immediately as you gag at the overwhelming taste of vodka. “Come on babe, lighten up.” You shake your head, shoving your cup in to his reaching hand. “Just 5 minutes ok? I’ll be right back.”

-----------------------------------------------

It’s not exactly cold as you wander in to Stu’s back yard, but it’s cool enough to feel good against your flushed skin. You move around the side of the house, just far enough to avoid the bright lights and noise from inside. You lean back against the cool bricks, taking a deep breath as you try to sort out your thoughts.

The distance cry of a fox draws you out of your melancholy, the fact that you were standing outside in the dark alone dawning on you slowly. Randy would not be impressed with you. Going back inside seemed like a very sensible idea, until you heard a branch snap behind you and you froze, a scream dying in your throat as a figure loomed from the darkness, a flash of silver in their hand as they jumped towards you.

“Gotcha!”

You react instinctively, palm stinging as it connects against the figures cheek, knocking them to the side and you recognise the garish red of Stu’s housecoat.

“What the fuck Stu??”

He just stands there looking away from you, the muscles in his jaw clenching as he grinds his teeth, he turns back towards you slowly, and the way his eyes bore into you makes your breath hitch and a stab of cold fear shoot down your spine.

You almost give in to the rising panic and turn to run but he starts to laugh. The angry look disappearing as he brings a hand up to cradle his cheek. “You got a mean right hook bunny.”

“Asshole.”

He cackles harder, “Come on it was funny; you should have seen your face.”

“It was not fucking funny.”

He grins as you take a step backwards, waving the knife in the air between you. “Babe relax, it’s not real.” You glance at the knife; it certainly looks it, the moonlight shining of the short blade. He tucks into the back of his jeans before you can get a proper look at it.

He walks closer, head tilting as he regards you curiously. “What would you do if it was real?” His eyes look cold and black in the dull light. He grips your chin and tilts your head up to meet his gaze. “If I wanted to do something to you, you really think you could stop me?”

Your heart is pounding as you swallow hard, a confusing mix of desire and fear flashing through you. “Fuck you.”

He examines you closely, eyes roaming over you as a smile creeps across his face. And then he laughs.

“Yeah that’s my plan.”

He glances back down the path and then back at you as he takes several steps forward, forcing you to take two back and your heart leaps into your throat. “Stu, we can’t.”

He backs you up until your back hits the side of the house, and his thumb brushes along your bottom lip, nail digging into the sensitive skin until you open with a whimper.

He slides two fingers into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue as he pushes down to the back of your throat until you gag and he withdraws with a crooked smirk. He presses his thumb down on your bottom teeth, keeping your mouth open as he looks up at you before he spits on to your tongue and watches it slide down the back of your throat. “Swallow.”

You force yourself to swallow. The taste of stale beer is strong and makes your stomach lurch at that bitter tang but his low groan of approval sends a shiver of arousal through you. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

He spins you so fast you feel dizzy, made worse by the alcohol and you feel an intense rush of nausea. He presses against you so you are trapped between him and the wall, his fingers wrapping around the front of your hips and pulling your ass back against him.

He knocked your feet apart with his, hands sliding up your thighs and under your skirt, groaning low in his throat when he touches bare flesh. “Knew it,” His voice a low growl as he touches you. “Billy thought you’d chicken out but I knew it, knew you were a dirty girl.” He slipped his fingers along your folds and you gasp as he presses against your clit. “And already wet for me.”

His lack of patience is obvious as he yanks his pants and underwear just far enough down his thighs to slide his cock between your legs. One hand resting on your hip and the other curling around your throat, his fingers flexing and twitching against your skin like he’s fighting the urge to choke you.

He pressed against your entrance and you tensed, your walls tightening at the thought of him inside you. He moans as he lets his cock rub against your cunt, nudging against your clit and teasing you as he slides through your wet folds.

You’re starting to feel impatient with his teasing, well aware anyone could wander out and see you, so you try to shift your hips to encourage him inside you. He relents, pushing gently until you stretched around his tip and then he pulled back.

“Fuck you’re tight,” his voice is breathless, excited, as pushes against your entrance, “think you can take all of me?” He moans as he pushes the head of his cock back inside you. “Feels like I’m going to tear you apart.” He grunts and snaps his hips forward, one sharp brutal thrust and he’s inside you, knocking the breath from your lungs as he sinks deep. You’re wet, but he’s big and the sudden almost painful fullness has your fingernails scratching into the brickwork, his hand leaving your throat to clap across your mouth at your pained cry.

He gives you no time to adjust to the stretch before he starts a fast, almost desperate rhythm, pushing you flat to the wall with the strength of his thrusts, your hands scrabbling against the wall as you desperately try to steady yourself. His moans and pants are loud in your ear and he brushes his fingers over your lips before shoving them into your mouth, stroking and caressing across your tongue. Your orgasm rises fast, and it hits you suddenly and sharply, drawing a garbled cry from you, drool dripping down your chin.

“Fuck you cumming already?” He hisses as you clench around him, thrusts stuttering and slowing as he withdraws his fingers from your mouth to grip your hips, one hand palming your ass as he lets his thumb slide between your cheeks to circle your asshole. “Disappointing Billy’s not here, I really really want to ruin you.” His thumb presses a little firmer and he slowly pushes the tip in past the tight ring of muscle, making you whine at the intrusion. He starts to speed up again, his thrusts are quick and rough, his groans loud as he lets his thumb sink deeper into your ass. “So tight, fucking-fuck you really would break if you tried to take us both.” He leans forward and his teeth press lightly into the skin of your shoulder. “Wanna try?” He bites down hard, skin popping under his teeth and it’s too much, the pain mixing with the pleasure to push you over the edge again. This time he doesn’t slow as he fucks you through it, instead pressing his thumb deeper into your ass as you cry out and he sucks in a harsh breath. “Does it hurt? Am I hurting you?” He groans at your whine, his hips stuttering. “Tell me it hurts.”

Pain hits low in your abdomen as he thrusts hard and hits something inside you that draws a broken scream from your throat. It makes him moan, his hips stuttering and a slew of curses mixing with your name fall from his mouth before he cums hard and loud, stilling inside you and buried as deep as he can. It hurts, his cock pressed painfully against your cervix as he comes down from his high and you know you’re going to be suffering for several days. He chuckled weakly, resting his forehead against your shoulder and making you hiss as he lapped at the blood trickling down your shoulder.

“Good girl.” He squeezes your ass as he slowly pulls out, spreading you open and watching his cum leak from your abused cunt and drip down your thigh. “Fuck bunny, that’s a good look on you.”

“Pretty sure I said keep it in your pants.” Billy’s voice makes you jump, your face heating in embarrassment as you turn your head to look at him, his arms crossed over his chest as he leans against the wall. He has a slight flush to his cheeks and you wonder how long he has been watching as you clumsily tug your skirt back down, wincing at the wet sensation between your thighs.

“She seduced me.” “Yeah, sure she did.” “Want a turn? Got her all loose and ready for you.” Stu winks at him and gives him a lazy grin. You frown, leaning heavily against the wall to keep your balance. You can’t seem to follow their conversation as they talk over you, your brain feeling sluggish and a little off kilter.

Billy narrows his eyes. “Did you give her something?” What the fuck did that mean? The question alarms you and you try to fix it into your alcohol addled brain to ask them about later. Stu snorts, “She’s cock drunk man,” giving your ass a smack, making you stumble forward a step. “Gave it to her good.” He loops an arm round your waist and Billy gives you both an unhappy glare.

“No I didn’t,” Stu sighs, the humour dropping from his voice at Billy’s unimpressed look. “She just went a little overboard with the booze.”

Billy reaches for you, and the world spins as he pulls you out of Stu’s hold and into his chest, your hands pressing against his collarbones as you try to keep your balance. “Inside. People are looking for you.”

“Yeah in a minute,” Stu watches as you nuzzle into Billy’s neck. He smells good, and you’re unable to resist the urge to leave little kisses along his skin, nipping sharply just under the neckline of his shirt. The hiss he makes as you do so sends another stab of arousal through you but you press another flurry of kisses across his neck in apology. “Careful bunny,” he huffs at you, “You can’t be leaving marks.” His voice is strained and you can tell he is trying to sound reprimanding but you know different, you can feel him already half hard against your stomach. “If you two are going to get hot and heavy I wanna wat-” “People'll notice if the host isn't at their own party dipshit.”

"Yeah yeah, ok, fine," Stu holds his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm going."

He hooks a thumb under your chin and you turn your neck to look at him as he leans down and gives you a sloppy, tongue filled kiss. “You two crazy kids keep it PG13 right?” You roll your eyes and he turns to Billy with a grin. “Don’t go taking advantage of the drunk chick.” Billy flips him off and Stu sticks his tongue out in response, leaving the two of you and walking back into the house with a loud screech, making you and several people inside yelp and jump in surprise.

“You ok?” Billy looks genuinely concerned and it makes your heart surge with affection. You press your lips to his in a gentle kiss before your conscience decides to wake back up. “I think Sid knows, maybe Randy too.” He doesn’t say anything, just looks at you, eyebrow slightly raised as he waits for you to continue.

“They said-”

“I don't give a shit what they have to say.”

“But they think-”

“What they think is irrelevant,” His arms tighten around your waist. “Do you love me? Stu?”

“Yes.” You don’t even have to think about it, you do, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know it’s wrong, that you’re cheating, that being with them is just plain suffocating sometimes.

“Then that's all that matters,” He slides his thumb across your brow, smoothing out your frown. “Don’t worry about Sid or Tatum, we’ll take care of it.”

You nod. You won’t be able to explain it, not now, not with alcohol tying up your tongue. Not without hurting them.

“Look at me.” Your eyes flick to his and even in your drunken state you see the softness that flashes in his eyes. “You’re going to go back inside and you’re going to ask Randy to drive you home ok?”

You’re surprised, even a little hurt. “You’re sending me home?”

“You’re drunk,” he presses soft fluttery kisses to your mouth inbetween his words, hands gentle as they frame your face. “I don’t want to but we need to cover our asses sometimes.” He gives you one last kiss to the tip of your nose. “As much as I wanna take you home, I have to stay here for a while.” This soft affection from Billy was rare and you can’t stop yourself from melting into it with a happy sigh. “Bunny? Straight home, no movies or ‘one last drink’ he’s only to drop you off.”

You give him a soft hum in agreement. As if you would. They never seem to believe you when you stress that Randy is only your friend.

“Had a good night didn’t you?” Billy dips his hand between your thighs, smearing Stu's cum into your skin and fluttering briefly over your clit and making you whimper, forcing you to grip his shoulders as your knees buckle. “Fuck Stu made a right mess of you. Feel kinda bad for Randy’s seats,” amusement is clear across his face and you feel more than a little mortified at what he’s implying. “Stu’s gonna love it.”

Just as the pleasure is starting to build he withdraws, holding his fingers up in front of your face and pressing them against your lips. You hesitate and he pushes a little harder, making you open reluctantly and he pushes his fingers into your mouth. His breathe hitches as you swirl your tongue around him and you try not to grimace at the bitter taste of Stu’s cum. He cups your jaw, smearing wet digits across your skin as he runs his thumb over your cheek. “I gotta spend some time with Sid, but I’ll come check on you later ok?”

“Yeah, ok.” Closing your eyes, you rest your head against his shoulder as he runs his hand over your hair.

“Come on,” He says after a few minutes. “Home time.” He smiles at you, a soft gentle smile that makes your heart tighten painfully. This whole situation is unfair. You’re in love with your best friends. You’re in love with not one but two men who make you feel incredibly happy but also like a possession more than a partner. You want to cry. The alcohol and pleasure are starting to ebb away, leaving you with the confused jumble of thoughts and emotions that you’ve been trying to escape all day, and a growing painful ache between your thighs. You swallow hard at the rising lump in your throat as Billy gives you a gentle nudge back towards the house. You’re not going to cry, but you want to. You desperately want to.

[taeslovehandles]

I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?

[stormyoceansmain]

The tsunami episodes (there are 2, Sink Or Swim and The Searchers) are extremely good actually. Dude 1 and Dude 2's kid are on a pier when the waves hit and it's all about them trying to get to safety and also it's pretty damn heartbreaking in places. Like at one point they're separated and D1 literally screams himself hoarse looking for the kid. Once kiddo is back safely with his dad D1 is all 'ah, yes good, shocking out time now' and just drops.

Oh and D2's wife both left him AND died. She ran off when kid was 5, reunited with them briefly, asked for a divorce and was promptly hit by a car.

anon this probably wasn't your intention but you just made a great argument for me to start watching this show. i was reading that tsunami part and rubbing my lil gremlin hands together because that kind of angst? DELICIOUS. devastating, for sure, as in im probably gonna be left on a sobbing pile on the floor if i ever decide to watch it, but also [CHEF'S KISS] Y E S. give me that sweet sweet angst with a sprinkle of hurt/comfort on top (i do hope mr. dilf brought both his kid and the other dude back home and made them sleep in his bed until he was sure they were okay)

also amuse me for a second, because there are a couple of question that sprang up in my mind while reading your message, like:

1) jesus christ how long have these two been coparenting that kid

2) so let me get this straight. this dude - mr diaz - looked at this guy and went 'i trust you with my son's life so much im gonna make you his legal guardian if i die'. now, idk this dude's life, idk if he currently has a girlfriend or a boyfriend or any kind of significant other, but i do presume he has some family members that - presumably - helped him raise the kid after his wife skedaddled. but instead of leaving his kid to them, he's just like 'no no no. i want this guy. because (i assume from this tsunami experience) i know he is going to raise hell to make sure my kid will be safe'. so yeah, i guess my question is has anyone ever told mr diaz that ain't exactly friends behaviour???? has anyone told the WRITERS?????? BECAUSE - and i cannot stress this enough - THAT AIN'T EXACTLY JUST FRIENDS BEHAVIOUR.

also im sorry about the wife i guess. i mean im not sure i vibe with her (she better have a damn good reason for leaving her son behind, imho), but the writers weren't very kind to her so that sucks

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Sun and Fun (S2, E12)

I can’t believe FOX has cancelled this absolute masterpiece of a show. I’m devastated. I’d like to think we’ll get picked up by another network for season 3 but I’m a pessimist and I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’ll be hanging around the fandom either way though. 

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:20 - Malcolm losing it in Martin’s cell? *chef’s kiss*. 1) excellent performance by Tom. 2) This is the Malcolm mental health content I subscribed for. This is Malcolm feeling overwhelmed, helpless, worthless, and frustrated all at the same time. This. Is. Wonderful. And. Realistic. This is what overwhelming anxiety (especially if you have an anxiety disorder) can feel like. It builds and builds until all of a sudden you’re consumed with all this nervous energy and frustration and it all turns to rage in an instant. But you’re not angry at other people. You don’t want to hurt anyone. That rage is just self hatred because you hate that you feel this broken and your stupid brain won’t function normally. 

0:33 - annnnd then when the excess nervous energy is spent but that feeling of self-hatred, despair, and fear still remains - you’re physically exhausted and 7/10. times you cry. Again, crying because of how stupid you feel for your little rage outburst, for how stupid you feel for feeling this terrible all the time. Malcolm is depicting a severe anxiety episode perfectly (in my experience) and THIS is why FOX is moronic for cancelling the show. The gorgeous and accurate depictions of mental health in Prodigal Son is unprecedented, truthful, and heartbreaking. It’s like nothing else on television. 

0:50 - This kind of hurts. Look at how cautiously Dani enters the room. Almost as if Malcolm is a wild animal she doesn’t want to scare. It makes sense given the state of the room she just entered and how completely openly and uncharacteristically vulnerable Malcolm is. I will say this though, despite how cautious she is, it’s obvious that she cares about Malcolm more than whatever happened before she walked into the room.

 1:03 - “So all eyes are on his head case son right?” This line is a direct quote from Malcolm’s anxiety disorder and depression. This is how you feel about yourself when in the middle of an anxiety episode when you’re also depressed. BUT OUR GIRL DANI!!! <3 This girl looks confused and concerned to hear Malcolm diss himself like that. The fact that she tries to comfort him when he’s in this state, makes her an absolutely A++ friend. 

1:11 - “No one cares about that.” “I CARE. I can’t live like this.” This scene resonates with me so so so much. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been 100% aware of how irrational my anxieties are and simultaneously 100% unable to do a damn thing about it because I’m too scared of who I’d be without the fear. Because I’ve defined myself by my anxieties for so long that it’s become the only definable element of my personality visible to me. I’m getting that vibe from Malcolm. I’m sure that’s exactly how he’s feeling right now.

1:30 - “That’s not what scares you. What scares you is living the rest of your life without your father in it.” Dani knows and I felt personally called out. THIS EMOTIONAL WHUMP IS GIVING ME LIFE. <3

1:39 - Look at our floppy haired, devastated boy. :( <3 I’m genuinely shook that he didn’t have a full mental breakdown this episode (but it’s coming....it’s inevitable at this point :) ). ALSO the look of absolute love and concern Dani is shooting towards Malcolm? Absolutely perfect. <3

1:51 - I genuinely find it so interesting that Malcolm keeps referring to “The Surgeon” as “Martin”. If you read my thoughts on 2x11 you know I think it’s because Malcolm has separated ‘Martin Whitly’ into three separate people in his head. “The Surgeon” = the serial killer who traumatized him and ruined his childhood. “Dad/Father” = the man who loved and cared for baby!Malcolm. But “Martin” = unknown. Malcolm doesn’t know who Martin is yet and it scares him. 

1:58 - “For once in your life slow down and acknowledge what this is doing to you.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this line. So. So. SO. MUCH. <3 <3 This is the kind of comfort Malcolm needs. SOMEONE needs to tell him that he’s breaking, it’s not his fault, and he doesn’t deserve to suffer for Martin.

2:07 - annnnnnd Malcolm has gone full crazy-person string murder board. He’s right but he’s still acting like a manic crazy person. Like, a real one. Not his usual manic behaviour. This is straight up - this boy needs medication, a nap, therapy, and a doctor. Now.

2:34 - Ugh. This whole cop/Vivian scene made my skin crawl. So gross. So creepy. I hate Capshaw. So much. This woman is manipulative, evil, and so so creepy. The cop was also gross. But I 100% thought she was going to kill the cop because this felt like an opening scene to Criminal Minds. 

4:38 - “THEY WERE HAVING SEX.” hhahahahahahaha holy shit. This is both hilarious and really upsetting (not just because Martin/Capshaw is NASTY). Malcolm is manically, yelling about his theories in a room full of people who love him. He sounds crazy. He’s acting crazy and Dani, JT, and Gil are just staring at him with a mixture of disbelief, concern, and sympathy. <3 It’s heartbreaking. Malcolm is an inch away from a mental breakdown. I’m here for it. 

4:49 - “TMI bro.” <3

 5:05 - Ugh. This breaks my heart. The team doesn’t think Malcolm is crazy. They just know he’s at the end of his rope. The looks they’re exchanging aren’t based in anger, contempt, or a lack of trust. They’re based in concern and I LOVE IT. 

5:21 - LOOK AT OUR BABY. He’s breaking. He’s so close. :( Look at how desperate he is to find Martin. 

5:35 - “That’s exactly what it means.” “Gil, please. You know how much I need this.” THIS HURTS. Gil isn’t angry here - he’s frustrated and scared for Malcolm. And Malcolm? This boy is toeing the line of a full breakdown in front of 3 of his favourite people - that’s out of character for him. Despite the shaking hand and general mania - Malcolm usually refrains from raising his voice in front of Dani and JT. He tries to stay calm-ish so he doesn’t get labelled as ‘violent’ like his serial killer father. 

 5:39 - “StOp. I am scared.” Dani knew exactly how to diffuse the situation. Malcolm can be manipulative and dysfunctional but he never wants to scare people (at least, not unless they’re suspects or obstructing justice). 

5:46 - “I’m not ordering you this time. I’m begging you.” Papa!Gil’s seen Malcolm like this before. SO WHY IS NO ONE HUGGING MALCOLM?!?! The boy is clearly coming apart at the seams. 

5:48 - Malcolm’s reaction to Gil sending him home is gorgeous. He looks sad, betrayed, and resigned. It’s as though he’s convinced himself that the team doesn’t trust him or care about him anymore. He doesn’t walk out angry. He walks out sad and determined. Head held high but eyes full of grief. 

5:54 - I’d give anything to have heard the conversation between Dani, JT, and Gil after Malcolm left the room. ANYTHING.

6:02 - “He thinks I’m a liability.” No. Not exactly. He thinks Malcolm is in the throws of a mental health crisis and that he shouldn’t be responsible for catching his serial killer father. Again. 

6:15 - “I support Gil’s decision. That does not mean I want your father dead.” #coparenting but also, true. I honestly don’t think Jessica wants Martin dead. I think she wants Ainsley and Malcolm to be happy and free from Martin but not dead. She knows that Malcolm might never recover from Martin’s death with all of his unanswered questions and suppressed childhood trauma. She also knows that Ainsley would always resent being prevented from bonding with her father. I think Jessica still loves Martin - well, the man she thought she married. Jessica doesn’t care for Martin Whitly. But she loves the man he pretended to be and even though she knows he wasn’t real - she doesn’t want him to die. I think she wants him to disappear (maybe get transferred to a prison in a different state?) but she doesn’t want him dead. That would make her no better than the serial killer (in Jessica’s mind anyways).

6:25 - “You have become consumed by this Malcolm.” Check out the side eyed look Ainsley gives Malcolm. She’s jealous. Her brother is on the verge of a mental breakdown but she’s jealous of the attention he’s getting from Jessica. I get it - Jessica hasn’t been the best mom to Ainsley. BUT GIRL, gain some perspective. Don’t you care about your brother?!?! That should trump the jealousy for a few minutes at least. 

 6:35 - “I love you.” <3 <3 <3 I’m going to cry. This might be my favourite Jessica+Malcolm moment to date. So precious. 

6:43 - THIS. “I love you. Both of you. More than I hate him.” This is why Jessica doesn’t want Martin dead.....but she also doesn’t care if he lives. I know that sounds like a contradiction but it’s a real thing and if you’ve never felt that way about someone - I pray you never have to. 

7:06 - “Then she’s a victim.” .....I disagree. Capshaw had a (weird and manipulative) consensual relationship with Martin. She has as much of an agenda as Martin (although, Jessica didn’t know that here). Capshaw isn’t a victim. She’s not being compliant with Martin as a form of self-preservation or fear. She’s doing it because she’s a manipulative crazy person who is in love with a convicted serial killer. 

7:45 - I’ve never felt this unsettled while watching Prodigal Son. Capshaw showing her true colours is so so so disturbing. This woman is insane (with all the stigma). The dress. The martini (Jessica’s favourite drink?). The fact that she dressed Martin up in a suit. The music. The weirdly elegant wheelchair. The lovey way she’s talking. It all makes my skin crawl. 

8:33 - OMG. What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel bad for Martin Whitly?!?!?! 

9:55 - JESSICA AND MALCOLM doing a rich person ambush tag-team IS AMAZING. <3 

9:57- How sad is this? 23 years and Jessica still can’t walk into a room without people whispering and judging her behind her back. :( This woman keeps her head held high - despite the pain she must be in - she’s a superhero. Change my mind. 

10:30 - "Malcolm Whitly? You're.." I have this headcanon that the general public assumes Malcolm is dead. He changed his last name and fell off the grid. People treat Jessica like a social pariah so she wouldn't be able to tell them otherwise. And sure, Ainsley referred to Malcolm in the present tense during her Surgeon interview but how many people actually watched it actually paid attention to that little tidbit after Martin went full blown psychopath on camera? Plus, no one really cares about the Surgeon's son enough to look him up 23 years later. At least, no one who matters.

11:25 - Like mother, like son. You can't change my mind. They have the same manipulation style. It's justice based and determined. Ainsley and Martin's style? Vindictive and self-serving. 

11:30 - Oh look. ANOTHER CONTINUITY ERROR. WHO PROOFREADS THESE SCRIPTS?!? I CAN’T KEEP OVERLOOKING THESE. For God’s sake. Send copies of the script to fans who sign NDAs or something. At least we know what happened in previous episodes. 

12:33 - "Gross." I'm with Ainsley on this one.

12:45 - "My assistant." "Long suffering". hahahha omg. I love this for two reasons: 1) it's hilarious 2) it's true. Malcolm literally disposed of a body for Ainsley. He's her assistant and he's suffered for it.

13:05 - Yo. This dude is whack. Like this is some serious Stockholm's syndrome going on here. Vivian is his hero?!? .........I can't.

13:55 - Why do the gifts Vivian sends Zeiger look like human bones? Damn this is twisted. This is like some sort of twisted serial killer pseudo-trophy situation?

14:52 - "I don't think Vivian is the victim here. I think our father is." Yikes. This is not going to help Malcolm's mental stability. At all. He's been trying to fully accept that his father is a serial killing monster who was literally never capable of loving him for the past 23 years. BUT NOW our boy has taken the role of 'good son' (prodigal son is you will) and has returned to his 10 year old mentality "I love dad. Dad loves me." and 'dad' is in trouble. Malcolm is trying to save his serial killer father and the emotional and mental hoops he's jumping through are terrifying, complex, and hauntingly realistic. <3 It's gorgeous.

15:04 - "I'm not used to this type of confinement." I love this line because of how deeply it rings true. Martin isn't used to confinement. Sure, he's been chained to a wall for 23 years but he's been relatively happy about it. He's been able to manipulate Malcolm and the other inmates. He's been given TV time, phone time, consultations, books, music, free food, and a massive private cell (seriously that cell is as big as the bachelor's suite I rent for $900 CAD a month). The man has been living a life of luxury (given his crimes). His only 'punishment'? He's stuck inside his cell and he's not allowed to kill anymore. THIS is Martin truly suffering. I kind of feel bad for him (which I never thought I'd say).

15:20 - Damn. Michael Sheen is incredible. He's genuinely making me feel concerned and scared for Martin.

15:32 - Something tells me a man hurt Capshaw in some way throughout her life. This has to be deeper than the whole "I didn't fit into the 'boys club' of surgery". Her issues with men are aggressive and alarming. This woman is nuts. This woman is why I hesitate to call myself a feminist (I generally think we should drop the titles of feminist/misogynist/racist/homophobe... and just treat people with respect. I think the titles and groups just further divide people.)

15:50 - "You're finally free." Yep. Capshaw is a nutcase. She actually believes that she's committed a perfect crime. 

16:09 - This place has virtually no furniture but I’m expected to believe someone is paying the phone bill?!?! Nah. 

17:08 - That. Smile. This woman is a devil. Like, I think I hate her as much as I hate Umbridge. But unlike Umbridge, Capshaw is downright terrifying. 

17:12 - Was anyone else kind of surprised that Martin called Jessica? I mean, I guess she was a safer choice than the cops but still...

17:20 - As creepy and this whole ‘Martin is a victim’ thing is - it’s kind of nice? Like - I just keep thinking “How does it feel Martin?!?! This is how you made your victims feel. Do you like it?” and then I realize I’m a terrible person. 

17:55 - Ainsley’s in on this. I swear, she’s somehow involved with either Capshaw or Martin. 

18:18 - Oh look. Martin is shackled to the bed. Just like Malcolm shackles himself to bed so he can sleep every night. .....I keep oscillating between being vindictive toward Martin and feeling bad for him. That’s what makes this show incredible. The ‘villain’ is human and 3 dimensional. 

18:44 - Oh God. The psychopath is jealous. This woman is UNSTABLE. How has no one locked her up yet?!?

19:43 - She’s crying. She’s actually crying. Even the rewatch of this scene is painful. I just feel so uncomfortable (which was probably the intent) and I hate both characters. They’re both actively trying to manipulate each other and it’s so creepy. Damn. 

20:15 - Holy. Shit. This woman is by far the scariest villain Prodigal Son has given us. 

21:17 - ..............I have nothing to say. My brain has short circuited. I can’t get past how horrifying this scene is. She’s a maniac.

21:57 - No one will make eye contact with Malcolm. :( They all think he’s losing it but they’re not scared of him. They’re scared for him. 

22:10 - “A trusted member of my team has a theory I run it down.” THANK YOU GIL. SUBTLY TELL MALCOLM THAT YOU TRUST HIM. That’s what he needed to hear. He was doubting that anyone cared. :( 

22:45 - “Do you HeAr yourself?!?” Ouch. Gil’s right - Malcolm sounds nuts. Unfortunately, Malcolm’s also right (more or less). Look at how sad Malcolm is - he honestly looks like he’s on the verge of a panic attack. :( Malcolm thinks Gil doesn’t trust him anymore. Malcolm thinks Gil thinks he’s crazy. It’s heartbreaking. SOMEONE HUG THIS LITTLE CINNAMON ROLL.

22:54 - JT, buddy. Not the time. You’re making this worse. :( Malcolm is two breaths away from crying. 

23:40 - “Dani, you up for this? Cause he sure isn’t.” Gil is losing it. Look at him. Gil is watching the boy he considers as his son unravel and Gil can’t do anything about it. 

23:45 - “Either way, he’s going there. I’ll keep an eye on him.” I love Dani for this. Brightwell or not - the fact that she’s willing to chase smoke in an attempt to keep Malcolm from having a full mental breakdown makes her a hero. 

23:48 - JT, hug Gil! He needs a hug! 

24:16 - Martin is screaming while shackled to a bed.....where have I seen this before? 

25:39 - “I did this for you because you needed it.”....”Dani, I respect you.” Excuse me while I go sob in the corner. Malcolm just uttered the words “I respect you.” and my heart exploded. 

26:11 - “You don’t care. None of you care if my father lives or dies.” No, Malcolm, you’re wrong. They care. They all care so so much. Not about the life of the Martin Whitly though. They care about how Martin Whitly will continue to torment you if he’s caught alive. They care about how badly you’ll grieve if he ends up dying. They care about how this will affect YOU. because they love you. 

26:22 - “You would be free.” SAY IT LOUDER DANI! He’d be in enormous pain for a while, but Malcolm would heal. 

26:56 - “Let him go, Malcolm.” <3 <3 Malcolm is listening to Dani. He’s opening up about his fears. This is good (for Malcolm’s mental health). I am happy. 

27:04 - WOW BABY! That kiss was......passionate? I mean, we all knew they were going to kiss (thanks previews) but I honestly didn’t expect a kiss this long or passionate? They’ve both been clearly denying their feelings for each other for a while though so I guess it makes sense?

27:20 - We all know Dani was going to talk about how they could make a relationship work for them and/or how she loves Malcolm but thinks he should focus on his mental health before they start dating. BUT MALCOLM? That boy thinks he just ruined his friendship with Dani and I’m heartbroken. Look at his sad little face. :( 

28:31 - sooooo when exactly did Malcolm’s phone call drop? I feel like Ainsley had more access to the conversation that just what she shares with Dani in a couple of minutes.

29:08 - Look at this sad, scared little boy. He genuinely thinks that saving Martin will earn Martin’s love. I’m heartbroken. 

29:22 - THIS. Malcolm is so desperate for Martin’s love that he essentially consented to being kidnapped, tortured, and potentially murdered. :( This is bad. 

30:06 - Malcolm took unknown drugs from a crazy person. UGH. The stress of loving this unstable man-child is going to kill me. I’m so worried for him. ALSO WHO THE HELL CHEWS PILLS?!?! That’s disgusting. 

30:24 - Dani thinks Malcolm is being a typical guy - terrified of relationships/talking about his feelings. She’s hurt. The Brightwell ship has encountered another storm. 

30:35 - Anyone else get major flashbacks to 1x11 when Gil shows up to the townhouse to tell Jessica that Malcolm’s been kidnapped? You know, when he walks past all the reporters?!

30:50 - Ugh. :( Poor Jessica. That call from Capshaw gave her quite the emotional dilemma. As she said earlier, she loves her children more than she hates Martin. Soooo does she tell someone about the call, save Martin, and let Martin continue to torment her children? Or does she let Capshaw kill Martin, compromise her morals, let her children grieve for a while - but ultimately heal? It’s an impossible choice. 

31:13 - “I know why you’re anxious Jess.” UGH. Get yourself a man you looks at you the way Gil look at Jessica. So much love. So much concern. If Gil wasn’t fictional and I wasn’t asexual (and 24) I would marry that man. 

31:23 - “He has become convinced that his father is a victim in all of this.” Gil is so upset. He’s angry - at Martin for having this much power over Malcolm so many years later. He’s angry that Malcolm is still suffering so much because of his father. He’s upset because Martin is still hurting the people Gil loves 23 years after he was initially arrested. 

31:33 - “There’s no good outcome here Jess.” Thank you. Gil is a man with awareness into Malcolm’s psyche. He knows this is going to hurt Malcolm no matter what happens. He’s scared and he’s bracing himself for impact. I love him. I want more people in the world who love people this deeply. 

31:50 - “It’s okay to hope for that you know.” THANK YOU GIL. THANK YOU. Someone needed to tell Jessica that she’s not a monster for wanting the reason her children continue to suffer to disappear (even if tha means he dies). It’s not a malicious, evil thought toward Martin. It’s a hope for her children’s wellbeing. 

32:04 - “And in my weaker moments, I want him dead too.” <3 I’m imagining Gil praying that Martin is killed by an inmate after he comforts a teenage Malcolm from a nightmare. I’m imagining Gil praying Riker’s finally kills Martin as he watched Malcolm spiral into Martin’s grasp again last year. I’m imagining Gil crying himself to sleep because he’s so damn tired of watching Jessica and Malcolm suffer because of Martin. I love him for it. <3

32:15 - “Maybe things could be different.” .....I’m sorry. Does this mean Gillica is off again?! The flirting and dancing from 2x9 meant nothing?!? It was a hoax?!? I’m furious. 

32:35 - “It’s the actions that matter.” Damn. Gil is too good for the nonsense that is the Whitly family. Doesn’t he know that life isn’t always that simple?

32:46 - Annnnnd now Jessica will convince herself that she’s a bad person because she didn’t tell anyone about Capshaw’s call. She will also convince herself that she’s not good enought for Gil. AND I will cry myself to sleep.

32:55 - That hug <3 Sooooo Gillica is still on? I’m hella confused. 

33:05 - There it is. Dani is still upset with Malcolm. The Brightwell ship is taking in water my dudes. 

33:52 - Wow. He looks pretty in that makeshift hospital bed. Sleeves rolled up. Shirt half unbuttoned. Glazed, disoriented look about him as he wakes from a drugged sleep. <3 I’m in heaven.

34:30 - This is why Malcolm can never let Martin go. There are moments when Martin absolutely convinces Malcolm that he loves him. 

34:50 - “Because he also happens to be my father.” THIS. IS. THE. MOST. REALISTIC. PORTRAYAL. OF. ABUSIVE. DADDY. ISSUES. Take from someone who lived through an abusive Dad. You hate him. You know he’s messed up. You don’t like or respect him. But a part of you will always love him. Even though you hate that part of yourself. 

35:12 - “I want all of you.” .....I’m terrified. This woman is crazy. Crazier than the Surgeon. Is that possible?

36:05 - “You want him to love you. But he can’t.” Have you said that to yourself Malcolm? You know that logically but you don’t feel that in your heart. ....and the writers don’t know that because we’ve seen that Martin loves Malcolm? Sort of? Unless the writers are playing some sort of weird long con on us. 

36:50 - This is whump content I signed up for. This crazy bitch just killed Malcolm. We saw the terror in his eyes. BUT HE LIVES. So. I’m. Here. For. It.

36:58 - Martin’s devotion to Malcolm is so so interesting to me. Martin is a psychopath - he’s not supposed to be capable of love. But he clearly loves Malcolm. How? Why? It makes no sense but I love it?

37:47 - Malcolm’s little wheeze when Vivian starts mitigating the embolism. <3 So cute. 

37:53 - “I can do without the mansplaining.” I’m getting PTSD. There are too many real women who are this crazy about feminism and mansplaining (this is coming from a woman). Martin isn’t trying to ‘mansplain’ he’s scared and he’s trying to save his son. That’s not mansplaining. He’s not explaining something because he thinks Vivian doesn’t know it. He’s explaining something in a desperate attempt to remind her of the severity of the situation. 

38:16 - HOW THE HELL did Ainsley and Dani know where Martin, Capshaw, and Malcolm were? Either 1) Ainsley is somehow working with Capshaw, or 2) they were able to trace Malcolm’s cell (assuming Capshaw didn’t trash it), or 3) Ainsley knew her mom was lying about that phone call and they had it traced?, or 4) this is a convenient plot thing.

38:34 - This bitch is devious and I hate her. 

39:30 - Martin Whitly is the hero of the episode. What alternate reality are we living in?

41:15 - Malcolm struggling for breath. <3 The whumpers are being FED.

41:17 - “Run.” This is 23 years of guilt for turning his own father into the police surfacing. 

41:31 - “Where’s my family?” I honestly don’t know how I feel about this line. It bothers me but I can’t figure out why.

41:43 - This ending sequence is a work of ART. Malcolm is in physical and emotional pain. Dani (without backup) trying to save Malcolm from Martin. The epic music. The shot of Dani seeing the blood-filled syringe next to the makeshift hospital bed+restraints. Martin Whitly. Driving. A. Boat. And. Laughing - completely elated - with Malcolm passed out (and looking adorable) in the aft seating. The fact that the ONLY house you can see on the shoreline is the house the just escaped from. 

THIS EPISODE WAS EXCITING, STRESSFUL, AND WONDERFUL. I’m excited for the SEASON finale and I pray we get a season 3 from a network other than FOX.

[ookawahere]

How about Trevor giving kids a lesson?

“Okay, kids, now listen up.” said Trevor slightly leaning forward, hands on his hips.

It’s a rather chilly night. Late autumn, almost winter time in the Belmont Village. Simon’s five friends from the village has come to stay over the night in the castle, to play with him. But apparently, a fight started over between the kids and Trevor got a grip on the subject.

They are all in a big room, where a fire silently burns behind them. Even though this living room has many chairs and sofas, a bunch of kids and a black cat sitting in front him on the carpet, rather bashfully, knowing that Trevor is angry with them.

“What do we do if we make a mistake?”

Kids answered together, with a mild whisper. “We apologize.”

“Can’t hear?”

“We apologize.” Said kids all together, with a bit higher tone. Trevor huffed and stood straight.

“Thats more like it.” He shrugged. “Unless you are 100% right about what you did. And no, kid,” he hushed one of the village kids before he could even find the chance to speak. “ this fight wasn’t something like that.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Stealing is never a righteous behaviour. And lying about it after is way worse.”

Hearing this, all the the children in front of him bowed their head in shame.

Alucard, who was silently watching over this scene behind a column, rose an eyebrow. He was simply passing by the main-room when a troubled sigh of Trevor caught his attention. So instead of entering the room, he decided to observe. He was rather curious about what happened since Trevor wasn’t the type to scold kids.

“But, dad, Jack said-“ Simon tried to speak but lost his voice when Trevor looked at him.

“Simon. You are equally guilty as Jack. Haven’t I been telling you not to lie about serious matters? Stealing a weapon and playing with it without mine, Sypha’s or Alucard’s watch is a dangerous thing.” He sighed, trying to calm his nerves. But it was a bit hard since the image of him and his friends literally playing juggling with consecrated blades never leaving his mind. “Look, I am not usually the one to give a lesson to you but using weapons without an adult’s watch is something i cant approve.”

He sighes once again. And shrugs. “ I am not saying you cant use them. But i want to be the one to show you how those are used. You all are in the age to get bruises as much as leaves in the trees. Yet I wouldn’t want to see any of you got hurt, mortally, just because you find shiny things intresting.”

Kids, now heads up, looking at him eyes full of hope. “So… can you teach us how to throw knives, uncle Trevor?” asks a girl with dark curly hair.

Trevor smirks. “Without a question.”

As he answers children starts to scream with excitement, scaring the cat sitting beside them. Trevor hurries to silent them.

“Shh shhh! Not so loud. On one condition: We are all keeping this between us, okay? No one will say anything, and i mean anything,” he narrows his eyes looking at another kid, who is famous for his loose tongue “ to Sypha nor Greta, okay??”

Kids, covering their mouth with their palms, nods excitedly. Trevor smiles again now soften up.

“Too late. Already heard it.” Whispers Sypha, next to Alucard. Alucard, grins. He knew she reached to his side long before she started speaking. She must also prefered to stay silent and watch them, trying to understand the situation.

“Are you going to stop him?”

“Hmm? No, i dont think so. I mean who is more used to knives and blades than Trevor? Let him show off a little.” She giggles into her fist, leaning over to Alucard’s arm. Alucard chuckles again.

“Why do i sense a competition vibe?”

“It’s because i will show the kids, who is the stronger parent later on.” Sypha says, proudly, her hand on her chest. “ They will lose their interest in Trevor’s blades after my magic show, which i am sure of it.”

Alucard, chokes on his silenced laugh. “Such a humblegod.”

Sypha grins. But before giving a response a kid in the room screams.

“Uncle Trevor, can you pretty please tell us a story?”

Trevor, rises an eyebrow. “You sure? It’s not usually my job, considering Sypha’s story-telling is way better than mine.” As his eyes catches a strand of blonde and ginger hair right outside of the room. Trevor smirks. “But alright, tonight i can make an exception. So, Have you ever heard the “Flying Jesus” story, kids? It’s one of my adventures.”

Alucard tenses up between hands of laughing Sypha next to him.

“He really couldn’t find any better name for me than that, in all these years….”

Sypha trying to wipe away her tears of joy, between breathes. “Hihi, you were like that though, hihihi.”

“Why thank you, Miss speaker.” Huffs Alucard, a little annoyed.

“Oh come oooon,” says Sypha, as she looks at the room, meeting eyes with her husband. She nods and starts to drag Alucard to other part of the corridor. “You know, we love it when you fly. And kids? They love it even more.”

Alucard, giving her a “really?” look, follows her. “Well, what can I say, I have my charms as well.” He shrugs and grins mischievously. “Maybe I am the strongest parent in their eyes, hmm?”

Sypha pinches his sides. “Don’t get cocky, Rapunzel.”

[petite-ely]

Afraid // JJ Maybank

four - siblings querelle

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem routledge! reader

Warnings: bad language (who’s surprised at this point), mention of fighting and getting beat up, mention of blood, underage drinking, mention of gun and violence, mention of drowning, mention of smoking, fear of losing sibling, mention of death, I think that’s it?? Tell me if I missed something

Description: after a rough day, y/n has fun during a kegger on the boneyard, but John B doesn’t seem to like it.

A/n: here it is! Sorry for the wait school started this week and I was really busy, but yeah, hope you enjoy!! :)

previously next

Afraid masterlist

gif by @toesure

Song recommendation

It was a couple of hours later, the sun was starting to set, creating and beautiful golden light on the boneyard. The kegger was roaring. You could see Pogues dancing around and enjoying the music, tourons flirting with locals and even some Kooks were there.

“Chug it chug it chug it.” Y/n downed her red solo cup full of beer, throwing it at JJ once it was empty, a small giggle escaping her mouth. “Yeah! You go y/n!” The blond exclaimed cheerfully.

John B shook his head disapprovingly at his sister’s action.

“what?” Y/n stared back at him. “It was a long day. Can’t I have some fun once in a while? Or is that something you can’t possibly wrap your mind around?” he crossed his arms, a stern look on his face.

“Why are you acting this way? I’m just trying, to look out for you, y/n/n.”

She grunted at his words, rolling her eyes at the same time. “Well, don’t. You can’t just boss me around JB, you’re not my dad.”

John B’s expression turned sour at the mention of his dad. “Whatever.” He turned around and started to walk away. “If you wanna act reckless and irresponsible, I don’t care. I’m not stopping you, but don’t come back to me if ever you get in trouble. I won’t be there for you.”

“Damn, he’s really mad uh?” JJ now stood by the girl’s side, holding two cups full of beer. “What did you do, stab him in the back?” she scoffed “Well, he sure acts like it, all I did was have a little fun. Ugh he’s such vibe killer.”

“Give me that,” she took one of the cup out of JJ’s hand and swallowed the content of it in a matter of seconds.

“Whoa,” he put his hand on the girl’s back “are you good?“ “I’m wonderful, couldn’t be better.” JJ frowned.

“Are you sure? You’re not acting like your usual self.” Y/N scoffed. “Just because I’m having a beer or two doesn’t mean I’m about to have a mental breakdown J. Trust me I’m alright.”

“Look I know sometimes we all drink together, and once in a while you and I smoke a joint for fun, but this-” he motioned to her, or rather the way she was acting “-this isn’t you y/n.”

The girl bit her lip harshly, as she thought of what to say next. He was right, this wasn’t her. During keggers, y/n would usually spend her nights sitting on a log by the bonfire (when there was one). She would chat with Kie and some other friends about various subjects like environmental issues, astrology and other such things.

Sometimes she would stay silent and admire the shapes that formed the fire, listening to the conversations around her whilst making up poems in her mind. Other times, when she felt a little braver, she’d go on and talk with a cute touron that was there for the night (she might end up kissing them but nothing more than that). On some nights, she’d just take Kiara’s hand and drag her away giggling like a little child. The two of them would just dance together to the music playing in the background, as if they were the only ones standing on the beach.

On rarer occasions, she’d just slip away from the party and climb to the highest place she could think of, whether it was a hill, a tree or a rooftop. She’d just sit down somewhere comfortable and silently admire the constellations dancing for her. (Sometimes she’d bring one of the pogues with her and they would play some soft music and talk about anything and everything). Those were always the best nights.

Since the beginning of the party, y/n had acted like a total stranger. She had danced, yeah but with people she didn’t know and she had drank, a lot. She had actually volunteered to participate in some stupid drinking game, a thing she had criticized many times before. JJ enjoyed it in the beginning. Watching her get out of her shell, being friendly and mixing with the crowd. But right now, he didn’t know the person standing in front of him. Y/n was soft and kind (although sometimes she used a pretty rough vocabulary) and also smart and funny. Not reckless, insensitive, spontaneous or careless.

Why was she acting this way?

Truth is, y/n didn’t completely know the reason for her behaviour. She has had a long day, that was part of it (and also a rough year). She wanted to forget for one night, yeah that was it. Forget about her dad, forget all her problems, forget who she was. It was like she put on this mask and became a totally different person for the night. She just wanted to have fun and act crazy for this one night. After that she’d go back to being her normal self. After all, she was allowed to have fun.

She wiped the small trickle of blood that ran down her lip. “You’re right,” she agreed. “This isn’t me. But I- I don’t want to be me for the night. I don’t want to worry and think about all the sad tragedies of life. I wanna have fun. I want to get drunk and dance and do some stupid things.” She looked at him directly in the eyes, her gaze softening at the sight. “ I promise that tomorrow, I’ll be me again.”

JJ removed his hand from her back and pulled gently at his blond locks. “Alright. I just hope you won’t regret it all tomorrow.” He said, before disappearing in th crowd.

What’s it all worth if I don’t regret it just a little bit? She thought.

Y/n slipped away into the crowd too, looking around her for Kie. The sun had fully set now, making it a bit harder for her to see through the mass of bodies all stuck to one another. Finally, after a long five minutes of looking (though it felt like much more), her eyes landed on her curly headed friend, sitting on a large piece of wood.

“Hey cutie.” She sat down beside the brunette. “Hey girlie.”

“How are you doing?” Asked Kie, taking a sip out of her reusable cup half full of beer (y/n actually had a matching one, but forgot it back at the château). “Oh, I’m just uh peachy, I’m just peachy.” y/n said with a small laugh, happiness dripping off her words like sweet honey.

Kie took a second to look at her friend. She had the most ridiculous grin slapped on her face, like a five year old on a sugar rush. Her cheeks were flushed pink and so was the tip of her nose. (It looked very adorable.)

“Are you drunk?” Y/n giggled. “Maybe just a little bit.”

To be honest she didn’t remember the last time she had gotten drunk. It felt so far away. She felt warm and fuzzy inside and like nothing could hurt her. Thiose were all signs that she was slowly getting more and more intoxicated by the alcohol she was drinking.

“So,” she booped the tip of Kiara’s nose. “What’s with you and my brother. Do you like him perhaps?” she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Not the way you think.” “Uh?”

“I mean, John B’s very cute and kind and all, and I love and care about him, but the same way you do. Like a brother. I don’t see him as nothing more than that.” y/n nodded.

“What about JJ?” Kiara nudged the y/h/c girl. “Did you finally tell him?”

“Are you crazy?! No! I’m not that drunk,” y/n responded loudly. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me that way. He seemed so-” she took a small pause to search for the right word. “he seemed disappointed in me or something when we talked earlier.”

“Why? What makes you-”

Kiara was cut off by some shouting and screams being heard further away on the beach. A fight was about to break. She grabbed her friend by the arm. “Let’s go see.”

The girls arrived to see John B and Topper facing each other with threatening expressions, surrounded by a circle of curious people who only wanted to see them hurting the other one.

Topper Thornton? When did he get there ? And if he’s here that means that- y/n stopped her thoughts as her eyes landed on the blonde girl, watching her boyfriend with a scared look on her face. Sarah Cameron, Kook Princess.

“Dirty pogues!” John B shoved the kook harshly earning a chorus of exclaimation from the crowd gathering around them.

“Woah!” The two of them were circling each other, getting dangerously close to the water.

“John B!” Pope yelled at his friend. “We’re supposed to be incognito remember?”

“Babe, babe, babe, babe!” Sarah approached them, trying to stop her boyfriend from hitting the pogue.

Topper hit John B first, the impact sending him down in the water. Y/n quickly sobered up from the slightly intoxicated state she was in at the sight of her brother getting beat up. It was almost as if she could feel the hit on her own body.

“Guys! Guys! Chill!” Topper kicked John B right in the sides as he was trying to get up, sending him back down into the salty water.

“Hey John B, don’t make me down you like your old man, alright?!”

Y/n’s blood boiled in her veins, her face turning red with rage. She was so angry. First he had insulted her brother, and then hurt him but that wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t satisfied. He had to mention their father. That was like putting alcohol right into a fresh wound. How could he do such a thing? At this point, y/n was basically fuming, she couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“You take that back you brainless piece of shit!” She launched herself into the fight, not caring whether she’d get hurt or not.

“Y/n, no!”

She jumped on Topper’s back, in hope of sending him down and make him stop hurting her brother anymore. She was able to strike him a couple of times right in the jaw, before he pushed her off violently, sending her flying down and hit the ground with a loud thud. She was just about to get back in the fight when two strong arms dragged her away.

“Let go of me!” She yelled, squirming to get away from Pope’s grip.

“As much as I would like to see you take him down, y/n/n,” said the Heyward boy, still holding her firmly, “John B would kill me if I didn’t stop you.”

Y/n sighed loudly and stopped trying to get away from her friend’s hold on her. She watched closely as John B pushed Topper right in the water and winced every time he got hit.

“Stop you guys!” yelled Kie.

They were both hitting each other without taking a break, making small grunts and groans at the same time. It was getting so violent, so fast. JB pushed Topper in the ocean again.

“Come on Topper! Come on!” He screamed with rage before going back into the fight.

“John B please stop!” y/n pleaded. The crowd was cheering as the fight went on, only encouraging the two teens to continue hurting one another.

Y/n gasped as John B went flying backwards into the water. They were in a much deeper part now and Topper was holding him down into the water. He was gonna drown.

“Topper! Topper, stop! No!” Sarah screamed.

“He’s gonna drown him!” Pope’s voice shaking slight in fear.

Tears were filling the Routledge girl’s eyes and sliding down her cheeks. She was no longer angry but so frightened. Her brother had his head underwater, not breathing for more than half a minute. He was gonna drown, he was gonna die too and she’d be alone, for good now. She couldn’t do it without him, no she couldn’t. She had lived all her life with him by her side, her best memories were spent with him. She couldn’t do it alone. She needed him.

“Topper, please. Let him go!” she was so desperate at this point. She was practically begging him for mercy. She didn’t even bother hiding the despair and concern in her voice. Her tears were crashing on the sand. She was breathless, panting even, the world spinning around her. It was like she was the one underwater. Like she could feel exactly what her brother was feeling.

JJ took a look at her and then at John B, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest at the sight of both of them. He had to do something. He couldn’t let Topper kill his best friend. He hurried to find his backpack, taking the black object he had stolen previously that day.

He held the gun against Topper’s temple, the safety releasing a clicking noise. “Yeah, you know what that is. Your move brisky!” JJ spat, his face almost purple with fury.

Y/n’s hand went to her mouth. JJ brought the gun and he was holding it at Topper’s head. She couldn’t believe it. The sight of the firearm, barely visible but still slightly glistening under the moonlight, was enough to send shivers ripple along her back. She didn’t like seeing JJ hold it this way, with so much pride in his eyes, like it brought him so much power (though it kinda did).

He wielded it as though it was something that protected him against every possible danger. Like he was invincible. It was almost sickening. He shouldn’t be this proud, this brave while holding it. It was a deadly arm, he should’ve been just as scared as she was. What if he hurted someone? Or himself? What if he killed someone? Y/n almost regurgitated the entire content of her stomach at the thought.

“JJ, no.” She had wanted to shout, but her voice came out softly, barely louder than a whisper.

People were now running away, hurrying to their car to get away from the crazy maniac with a gun. Y/n was paralyzed with fear. She wanted to move, to run and throw the stupid gun in th ocean, but it was like her feet were glued to the ground.

“JJ put the gun down!”

“Did you say something princess?” JJ turned his head to Sarah, his hands still holding the firearm against Topper’s head.

“We’re good. We’re good.” Topper let go of John B’s body, his hand raised up in surrender.

“Kie can you check your psycho friend, please?” Sarah spoke, making Kiara glare at her with hatred.

“John B!” y/n rushed to her brother, pushing everyone that came in her way. She didn’t care about her clothes which were getting more and more soaked with every deacons she spent in the cold waves. She offered him her hand, helping him get up and then quickly pulling him into a tight hug.

“Thank god your okay.” She let go of him.

John coughed intensely for what seemed like an eternity, the three thousand liters of water he had swallowed coming out of his mouth at the same time. Y/n looked at him worryingly, her stomach still bubbling with anxiety.

One of his eye was starting to swell, a deep red colour surrounding it. He would have to ice it if he didn’t want it to turn purple. His nose was also bleeding, the blood flowing down and dripping on his lips. Y/n wiped the blood away with her palm and pulled him in an other hug, once he had caught his breath a little more.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you,” she choked on her words, “if you didn’t make it.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he grabbed her by the shoulders, still slightly panting. “I’m alright, little bug, I’m alright. My eye might be turning blue and my body might hurt, but I’m still alive aren’t I? I’m still here.” he reassured.

Y/n let out a small smile. She was still incredibly worried for her brother. He was hurt, but he was alive, that was good. Now all she wanted was to go back home and help him take care of his wounds.

“Okay every one listen up!” y/n flinched at JJ’s voice. He was so angry, it almost scared her. “Get the hell off of our side of the island!”

He fired the gun twice in the air, the sound echoing on the almost empty beach. Y/n almost fell back in surprise, letting go of her brother at the same time. The sound was ringing in her ear, her hands trembling. Why was he doing that?

She had acted so carelessly at the beginning of the night that she became a stranger in JJ’s eyes. But now, he was the one acting crazy and stupidly. It was not uncommon for JJ to be reckless but this? No, that wasn’t him.

Who was that person standing in front of her?

Taglist

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[madlilsongbird]

Watching The Amazing Spidernan movies so that I’m all caught up before No Way Home. Will add my thoughts as I have them. Note I am not some big Spider-Man fan nor have I read the comics so if my thoughts sound kinda stupid they probably are.

First movie:

That’s a good trick with the broom. Making a mental note as we speak.

Actually seeing Peter say goodbye to his parents is horrible and I would like to never experience it again

SALLY FIELD IS AUNT MAY?! Why does this one have the good cast? (not good as in better but good as in more well known)

The sexual tension in “good morning flash…good morning Peter” (this is a joke I’m not shipping him with his bully)

Jesus roid rage much?

Shut your blinds! I don’t know who would be looking in your window at this exact moment but close them anyway!

First careful, you never know who is watching what you search (when did I become this person)

Second…curt connors is ableist.

Poor Rodrigo Guevara

Oh internalised ableism. And that is the only comment I will make going forward because my disabilities do not include limb difference and I dont want to overstep.

Stop following the man, you are not subtle…wait wtf how’d he do that?!

This is where he gets his powers right?

Okay but when would 5 men make that much of a fuss over a woman that only 1 of them seems to know?

Same. (This is in reference to smashing the alarm clock)

Oh my god is it really necessary to show all the different kinds of spider bites.

Actually just going back to the internalised ableism thing…he is allowed to feel whatever type of way about his own disability that is his right. But insinuating that all disabled people are weak and wanting to breed out the weakness is eugenics and just kinda gross. THIS is the final comment I will make on the matter.

No but seriously he is way more aggressive than regular teen boy aggressive so either he’s on something or he’s overcompensating for something

The way he looks at him doe (again all jokes am not shipping flash and Peter)

Why is this so awkward? And not like teens navigating a crush awkward just genuinely awkward. I feel no chemistry between them.

I like the song, it’s an interesting choice for this scene but I like it.

Stop does uncle Ben die now? Like I know uncle Ben dies at some point but I was really kinda hoping he just wouldn’t in this iteration. I was going for a ninth doctor moment “just this once everybody lives”

MOTHERFUCKER

God Sally is incredible

Don’t show me moments of Flash being human I might accidentally start shipping them for real and that simply can’t happen.

Oooh he’s a fashion designer

I just really enjoy how he takes the piss out of his victims? Arrests?

Is Gwen aware that the school nurse can’t cure everything? Both legally and just like generally doesn’t have the knowledge to cure everything. She suggests going to the nurse a lot.

This family gives me bad vibes

This is a long movie…it’s not even half way through

Well that’s one way to tell her

NOT GEORGE FOYET!

I think with what I remember of SpiderTobey and what I know of SpiderTom, Andrews Spider-Man is definitely better with the people he’s rescuing. Smoother, good bedside manner.

His sons name is Jack. Why does that make me angry?

So he’s just not gonna rescue the other people hanging off the bridge?

It’s almost poetic that the son of the man tried to stop him the first time will be the one to stop him now

Now how is he getting enough power in the sewer

No means no Peter

Does she die in this one or the next one? I don’t imagine her dying will help captain stacey see him as a good guy

Stan 🥺

This movie is exhausting and I don’t know if I mean that in a good way or a bad way.

MoThEr HuBbArD aRe YoU sErIoUs

He managed to get three whole words out and you didn’t think to ease up on the trigger a little to hear what those words might be?

She’s very clever and I will be sad to see her go

That wasn’t her scream. Or it was but from a different take.

Foyet about to be coming in clutch

I’m going to cry.

He’s so ugly. Some lizards are really cute but lizard + human, kinda gross looking.

Well shit. I didn’t know that happened. I guess what I said about him being upset with Peter about Gwen is irrelevant. Unless it isn’t, like if you believe in the afterlife, imagine how pissed he’s gonna be when Gwen arrives.

He finally got the eggs 🥺

As someone who’s boyfriend at the time didn’t go to her fathers funeral I feel ya Gwen. I mean I don’t care now but at the time it sucked.

Dr Connors was just in a silly goofy mood. He seems to show genuine care for the boy (this is mostly sarcasm).

Second movie

Oh we’re going back to peters dad.

How do they have access to a private jet?

Miss Honey is badass

Ngl I’m actually quite relieved they both died before the plane crashed. Stil devastating though.

Okay so this is first up on the list of potential mystery villains in No Way Home…he looks like a tool.

HeLLo PeDeStRiAnS

He really just let Spider-Man put his hand on his tongue. Sir do you know where his hand has been? Not to mention just in general the feeling of spandex on your tongue. I feel ill.

No respect for the proper care of plutonium.

Please don’t ever say “come to daddy” again 😂

I’m kinda sad Jamie Fox becomes a villain, his character seems kinda sweet so far from the 2 seconds I’ve seen of him

You mean to tell me he missed his girlfriend’s fathers funeral AND her valedictorian speech?!

Stan x2 🥺

Because you can’t lose me you’re going to lose me? 😂

I love her jacket

Why are they still pretending like she doesn’t know?

I may have spoken to soon about Max

See I would be speeding up daddy’s death if he told me he’d passed down a genetic disease and just decided not to tell me.

Friendship.

Okay max is still a little bit nutty but you gotta feel bad for the guy. He must’ve been so scared.

Don’t smile that’s not cute, if he was a regular boy you’d file a restraining order.

Oh I see Spider-Man is gonna fight him which will make him turn and become the “bad guy” whether he will actually be a bad guy is still unknown.

This scene is actually kinda just making me angry (the time square scene)

Cops suck man. Peter was talking him down just fine.

Did nobody teach these people not to touch metal when there’s electricity about.

Interesting that I didn’t pick up any chemistry from them in the first movie weren’t they an actual couple for a while?

Another good song with an interesting placement

I’m sorry did the caller ID not say Mary Parker? How was it Harry on the phone?

Run Gwen!

This version of Harry is kinda creepy I’m sure the actor is swell but the character is terrifying. Original version Harry was swell whereas the actor is…

“Maybe everyone has a part of themselves they hide” gives him the eye

This movies shorter or at least it feels shorter

An excellent show of what happens when you tell a rich daddy’s boy no for the first time.

This makes me very sad. She’s so excited for the possibility of Oxford.

As much as Harry disturbs me, I want him to burn his entire team.

His daddy really did love him!

I think it’s mostly his eyes, his behaviour can be explained by trauma (why I find Harry creepy)

Okay most of his behaviour. The taking joy in killing people that’s just him being nutty and not a trauma response.

This is fucked up. And where is Peter? he is off chasing a girl who has broken up with him twice now.

PLANES NEED THE POWER!

I really like SpiderAndrew, the movies are fine but as a character I thoroughly enjoy him

Sorcerers apprentice who?

Captain Stacy can’t blame him! She’s clearly stubborn as hell and her own free woman

I quite literally stopped breathing (in reference to the almost plane crash)

Is this why they made it Gwen and not MJ so that he could kill her and be an actual bad guy? From my little knowledge of the comics and what I’ve seen from the movies Harry would never hurt MJ so it had to be someone else important to Peter but not super important to him for him to a real bad guy

I like that Harry actually looks like a goblin.

What was the disease he’s supposed to have?

This poor family. I know I said they gave me bad vibes in the first movie but nobody deserves this.

He looks less like a tool with his suit on…but only slightly less

Baby you better get back behind that baracade!

Nobody talk to me I’m very emotional. This child looks very much like a magical mix of all 3 of my brothers put together and seeing him stand there so brave but so scared is doing something to me.

Final thoughts:

So I think SpiderAndrew might be a close second favourite for me. I like the relationships of the original the most, the comedy of the mcu version the most but this one was like a nice in between. Im a little disappointed there won’t be a third not cos I think I would have enjoyed it just cos the original had 3 movies, the mcu version will have at least 3 movies and this one is left out with 2. Don’t think I would have loved Shailene Woodley as MJ though so I dunno. I think the only thing I would have wanted from a third movie is to know who fedora guy is…and for Peter and May to acknowledge that they both know that he is Spider-Man. Apart from that it was fine and I now feel fully prepared for No Way Home.

[deafmatteo]

hi hi so first i really love your writing, it’s so comforting and lovely, and i look forward to every little bit of it!

and idk if you’ve already answered something like this but i was wondering about your thoughts on skam france season 5?

hello, thank u! 🖤🖤🖤

and i have talked a bit about skam france s5 when i was watching it live but im more than happy to talk about it again & put all of my thoughts into one post JFJSJD.

let me just put a disclaimer here for abuse, both personal & what was shown in the season. also adding a read more because this got LONG, i am so sorry. i talk a lot </3 (ignore the spelling errors, i literally woke up and saw this anon and jumped out of bed to answer dflkgjkdlg)

also! i talk about deafness as a disability in this but that’s my own personal experience & what was written into the season. we know arthur sees it as a disability because he was raised in a hearing society as a hearing person. not all D/deaf people believe this!! this isn’t universal.

first things first, i just wanted to let people know these feelings come from a very personal place. i lost my hearing similarly to arthur — i was beaten as a young child and as the years have gone on and i’ve grown, my hearing has gotten worse. i was hard of hearing with mild to moderate hearing loss in both ears and now i call myself deaf because i have severe hearing loss in my left ear & i am completely deaf in my right ear. (don’t worry about being apologetic or anything! i’m very open about how i lost my hearing because although it’s sad & traumatic, it’s talking about how trauma and disabilities are often more intertwined than people realize. you don’t ever see a disabled person thriving in their natural environment. you see traumatized disabled people learning how to survive.)

i don’t have problems with how arthur lost his hearing. i think it’s a very important story to tell & it’s one that does occur — even if people don’t recognize it. it added to the fear and isolation he felt during his season because he was suddenly extremely disconnected from his peers and the people he called his best friends.

i also absolutely ADORE noee and camille. having a Deaf* woman who was as sassy and blunt and straight-forward as she was is a good thing. people often talk about how D/deaf individuals can come across as rude or unattentive or too blunt and it can be true but when people often talk about it, they do it in a rude/offensive manner! noee did it in a manner that wasn’t stereotypical and felt real. she also had the distain towards hearing people because they continually traumatized & belittled her and they showed that in a way that you knew was justified. she had been hurt by these people and she knew what arthur was experiencing, hence why she was so warm around him. having a Deaf love interest who wasn’t a hearing-people pleaser or someone who needed approval from hearing people was so good because it helped add layers of her own identity that the audience may not even realize exists.

camille as well. having a hard of hearing gay (queer? i can’t remember what he labelled himself as) person on screen without fetishism or trauma porn was refreshing. that doesn’t happen and seeing it was?? amazing. he was able to have fun, be himself, etc. also him acting as a connector between noee and arthur is a reality as well. he exists inbetween both of their worlds and while it’s clear that he is comfortable and okay with it, it’s a reality that often stems into feelings of anger and hurt. (as shown in arthur!) it’s good to see a hard of hearing person who doesn’t feel ostracized from the Deaf community & or the hearing community. he’s just vibing!

the isolation that arthur felt. the lonelines, the pain, the fear—all of it is a reality of the situation he was in. even with his friends attempting to support him in the ways they knew how, he still felt alone. having noee and camille there was such a good!! good thing!!! to have. the way noee criticized his friends, the way ARTHUR eventually yelled at them (especially lucas, like wtf was up his ass), the growth of arthur from clinging onto his fantasy world and accepting himself. i geniunely enjoyed these aspects.

NOW ONTO MY CRITICISMS.

my biggest one is the abuse clip. it was absolutely unnecessary for them to include the audio (and the shadowing) of arthur’s violent abuse. i understand they needed to potray his dad’s behaviours but there were many other ways to go about it that doesn’t re-traumatize people. i rarely rarely get triggered by things due to desensitization & repression and this made me extremely nauseous and it caused me to spiral into memories of my own abuse. yes, i understand the story of arthur’s dad being the villain and contributing to the trauma. no, it did not need to be done in this way.

also the way it was brushed aside & arthur forgave him after the car accident. i know it’s contributing to the cycle of abuse and it will continue after the seasons have passed but i think it should have had more fear, confusion or anger. we could see that arthur hated his father, just by how he constantly attempted to fight back and argue. i understand that it was him acting from a place of survival and trying to mediate to make things calmer but this is his perspective—we could have felt the underlying emotions or seen a brief moment where arthur let his anger take over when he was alone. the abuse was written solely for hearing people. it was trauma porn. it was used as a way to make people feel sorry for arthur and to weaken him. it wasn’t written as integrated into the plot as it should have been and was brought up only to deter the plot away from his cheating. it was one of the things that made it clear the plot was more written for hearing people than for deaf people.

(again, it’s not the actual story i’m criticizing. it’s how they integrated it.)

the second was noee using her voice to essentially beg arthur to love her. using her voice was a moment of vulnerability and fear that they could have either: a. used in a different manner or b. not included at ALL. i am an oral deaf person—i was raised in a hearing environment & i went to speech thrapy for many, many years. i use my voice a lot. however, whenever i am without my hearing aid and i am tired, i don’t often use my voice because i am insecure about my deaf accent.

noee doesn’t use her voice at all. she has talked about how using only sign language gives her power and stregethnes her identity in a way that the hearing world would never be able to. it was a pivotal moment of her own identity and growth and they threw it out the window to tell arthur she loved him. he rejected her so she used her voice, something that reminds her of her trauma and pain, to beg him to love her back.

another is how alexia said that she wasn’t wired to love disabled people. i love alexia as well, except for this alone was enough to hurt my opinion of her. it’s a reality of abled people—they often act like loving a disabled person is more work and view disabled people as less than to avoid seeing them as potential lovers/friends/etc. my main problem is the fact it wasn’t ever properly addressed and they used it as a plot device after she had been nothing but loving and supportive to arthur during the beginning of his journey. she was so, so loving and caring and they could have used to as a way to talk about how relationships and perspective changes rather having her just be straight up ableist.

when arthur first got his hearing aids, he got smaller ones that were less visible to avoid having other people see. this is a big example of internalized ableism and is a very important point but they never touched on it again. i think it would have been more personal and monumental of his growth to have him go back & change the hearing aids he uses to better aid him in his day-to-day rather than aid his desire to be hearing-passing. i just wanted to see continuation of this.

the love triangle. ABSOLUTELY USELESS. i love both alexia and noee as love interests. they are well-developed women who both had vulnerable moments in the season where they talked about their insecurities and were vulnerable and still had arthur reject/use them both. this is more of a fandom criticism but the love triangle was used solely to demonize noee while they continued to put arthur on a pedestal. the season could have gone either/or with them as love interests or not at all. the season was meant to focus on his journey as a now disabled person and the love triangle took up a large portion of that.

(don’t think i’ve forgotten about people calling others fatphobic/biphobic for preferring noee as a love interest)

this isn’t entirely a criticism but a good point to note. i don’t think skam france had a plan in regards to season five when they casted arthur but he should have been played by a hard of hearing person and there should have been foreshadowing in the earlier seasons for this. i think arthur’s actor did a fantastic job with the content he was given but it would have been a bit more personal if played by a truly deaf/hoh person. noee’s actress talked about this! she said how good of an opportunity it was for season five to occur because it’s extremely rare for deaf people to get opportunities and casting designed for them. having a main actress talk about this and still having the main actor being abled is a bit? bad taste. i just think it’s a product of lack of planning, is all.

ALSO THE CAR CRASH????? this isn’t a big criticism, i’m just like HUH? me & arthur really out hear being deaf and getting hit by cars ig. arthur kinnie

*definitions that add as to why i use deaf & Deaf in this piece.*

[jadelotusflower]

Robin Hood Rewatch: 2x08 Get Carter!

This is actually one of my favourite episodes of the season, partly because I really enjoy relationship angst, but mostly because we get multiple characters dealing with their trauma/grief. If we can't get these guys and gals into therapy, at least we get to see them talk (and hug) it out.

Also the best episode title they're had for a while - I have no doubt one of the writers is a fan, and Carter is so named only because they wanted to make this reference. The assassin seeking revenge for a dead brother is wholesale lifted from the plot of the film, and Joseph Kennedy almost has a passing resemblance to Michael Caine's look in that role.

"Get Carter - before Carter gets you!"

Carter is one of the only guest stars they actually will bring back later, and for good reason.

"Why don't you ever kiss my ring?" Vaisey, always making things creepy.

Marian is simmering with unrestrained anger, eager to get into the fight, while Robin is the one advocating for the watch and see approach, and it’s quite the role reversal.

The gang's reaction to her charging off is quite funny though, she knocks John over completely and Djaq throws her hands in the air.

Robin’s now getting a taste of what the rest of the gang have to put up with dealing with his recklessness.

Tying Marian up in the middle of a melee, however, is disgusting behaviour - while Marian was hot-headed throwing herself into the fight (nothing Robin hasn't done before himself), he knows that she can hold her own with a sword and doesn't need protecting. Tying her hands is the absolute worst thing he could have done, because how is she meant to defend herself? I can somewhat understand where Robin is coming from in this episode (even if he goes about it badly), but this is unjustifiable.

Clearly she gave that guard she clanked on the head amnesia, because he never reports back that Marian was fighting with the gang.

“I owe you my life”/“I won’t take it just yet.” Nice.

Scimitar is still missing in action.

Robin doesn’t want Marian to be seen in case she needs to return to the castle, when he’s spent the whole season urging for her to join the gang. I think he realises he made a mistake asking her to flee last episode without giving her time to deal with her grief, and wants to leave her options open. But telling her that she’s not ready to make the decision (about whatever she wants to go back), however correct, is patronising.

There's a fundamental conflict that Marian wants to be treated like a member of the gang, but doesn't want to cede to Robin's authority like the rest of the gang - in turn Robin expects her to follow his orders like the others, but isn't treating her like he would the others either - he would never tie them up to keep them out of a fight, and Marian has every right to pissed at him about it.

Djaq and Much having a little tête-à-tête about Carter - I just really enjoy that they’re often paired together in these gang scenes, they balance/play off each other so well. Just this pure platonic frazzled vs calm vibe.

Much just has this really great memory for faces - he was able to recognise fake Richard last season just from his profile despite wearing a helmet, and now he knows he remembers Carter's face from somewhere (or as it will turn out, Carter's brother).

Much really just does not let up, and I love that about him. "You'll be disappointed though, with uh, today's wound. I mean if you're planning to go back to the Holy Land and, uh, kill him." That not so subtle probing for information and Sam Troughton's delivery is always perfect.

"Wasn't me, was it?" Oh Much, so close.

“The crusty one” - lol

It's not explicit, but implied that Vaisey and Guy believe Edward was the one passing information to Robin, and Marian is cleared of any suspicion (paving the way for her return). Guess Guy never showed the Sheriff that hair dagger after all.

Vaisey is actually giving Guy some really good advice here, albeit laced with his usual cruelty and getting all up in Guy's personal space.

"Grow up Gisborne" - now I don't think it's deliberate on Vaisey's part to invoke a Marian parlance, seeing as she really only says this to Robin (and once to Much), but it's a nice little callback, however unintentional.

Marian asks for an apology (and deserves one), but Robin doubles down and doesn't come out of this exchange well.

Because his delivery is terrible, but he's otherwise quite correct - as skilled as Marian is, she’s used to relying on (and having to worry about) only herself and not work in a team, and look to a single point of command. But both of them have their backs up - they're two strong personalities and neither is going to give ground, reverting to the ideological clashes of season 1, except now in much closer quarters.

Robin's also not used to being challenged in this particular way, and in his frustration is reacting like a captain disciplining a soldier, not a lover helping their partner through their grief. I do wonder if the conversation would have gone differently if they'd been alone.

lol at the gang awkwardly standing around listening to Robin and Marian fight. Djaq trying to busy herself with her mortar and pestle as Robin and Marian argue around her.

A really great scene between Marian and John aka the camp dad. Marian really just needs someone to listen to her and appreciate what she's going through - Robin is too fixated on the dangerous way she's channeling her grief and not even trying to address the root cause. He trying to tell her what to do, not listen to what she actually needs.

On the other hand it's probably better coming from John, a neutral party without the emotional baggage she has with Robin.

Because Robin and Marian are really being driven by completely different motives - Marian by grief and therefore loss, and Robin by trauma and therefore fear. In her sorrow, Marian has lost all her fear of being discovered, in fact she wants to make it know she's with the gang, to finally be free to say which side she's on and fight openly, to make her father's death worthwhile, and can't understand why Robin is trying to stifle that.

"I thought you used to have your own men Little John?" So someone remembers Forrest and Hanton!

After Carter takes down the gang one by one, Robin takes down Carter in three seconds (including catching the long dagger Carter throws at him, and flinging it back) and it's lights out. Can you believe it's the first concussion of the season? (Notwithstanding the multiple head injuries Allan sustained last episode).

While Marian has been known to be punch-happy, the "he'll tell us more if he knows we're willing to hurt him" is just so (intentionally) out of character - it is however somewhat reminiscent of Robin in 1x08, wanting to get his punch and torture on with Guy. However rather than understanding where Marian is coming from, he pushes her away with the "go and cook something" jibe. This almost feels like he was going for familiar banter and miscued, but is also an asshole thing to say. When their positions were reversed in 1x08 Marian at least tried to reason with him - Robin is seems to be ill-equipped to do the same.

Allan just having a little snooze against the castle wall. He really seems defeated and depressed after last episode.

Marian's corset has a pouch to hold a dagger - or at least I hope there is because otherwise it's ouch time.

Leaving Marian at the camp is again a mistake on Robin's part - it excludes and isolates her from the gang, rather than trying to involve her so she can bond with them, engaging in their outreach to the peasants - who she helped as the Nightwatchman, but never really had the opportunity to come to know. It would remind her that they are not just fighting against the Sheriff but for the people, which in her frenzied grief she has perhaps lost sight of.

Instead, Robin's focus is on Carter, who he rather identifies with and so finds it easier to address his motives, and try and change them.

Carter is in many ways Robin’s dark mirror, what he could have become in the Holy Land if he chose a different path. It’s important that this happens right when Robin is backsliding - he’s trying to save his own soul as much as Carter’s.

Okay, let's talk about Marian’s forest gear - fashioned from the outfit she wore when she fled the castle the previous episode - but dear me it's awful. The grey culottes, rather than becoming trousers have now been turned into that corset, and her vest/skirt overlay have now become those trousers. Just baffling.

“I’m good with nuns” followed by Allan straight up knocking the Mother Superior over and stealing her ring is iconic.

Much gives Robin a sword to use going after Carter - still no scimitar.

I really love the confrontation/fight scene between Robin and Carter - it's very well choreographed and written, but we also see the best of Robin's character (after seeing some of the worst earlier).

Carter's brother is called Thomas - Allan's brother was called Tom. Lots of dead brothers in this show (including Djaq's).

The story of Carter's brother Thomas dying because he "stopped listening" and led a raid against orders is a little on the nose, but gives context to Robin’s fear for Marian’s safety in part triggered by his war trauma - someone charging in against orders and then dying in his arms.

But it shows Robin as a man who, even when Thomas' recklessness had cost not only his own life but others of Robin's men, was still moved to instruct the stretcher-bearers to make Thomas the hero, and himself the negligent captain, in order to comfort his family.

The fight is fairly even, and although Robin gets the upper hand in the end, it's only partly his skill - rather his true strength is in reaching the man inside the assassin, and then surrender and allow Carter to take his revenge if that's what he wants, and despite his fear, trust that there is good still in him, and that he can leave behind the life as a killer as Robin has done (tried to do).

This scene is the core of why I really love Robin as a character. He's riddled with PTSD and a reckless bravado, he's at time emotionally stunted with those he loves, makes terrible mistakes and often says the wrong thing, but he also has this great heart and compassion that allows him to reach people, to understand and help them, even at the risk of his own life. He's trying.

"He was a hero - just not on that day" is quite a poignant line.

Much and Djaq together again, just saying.

Robin finally finds out that Roger of Stoke was intercepted. I had assumed he'd figured that out once he knew Allan was a traitor but okay.

Poor Much crying out for Robin's attention - he's got his own trauma from the war and wants to talk about it, to commiserate with Robin about what they went though, but Robin can only cope by not talking about it, not even thinking about it.

Much makes a good point that Robin should have listened to him about recognising Carter, but it comes across as jealously over Marian and Robin misses just how deeply Much carries his hurt.

One of Robin's biggest flaws is that he's overwhelming in his affection, compassion, and understanding for strangers, but takes those he loves for granted - Carter's response to grief was the same as Marian's, but Robin listened to Carter, consoled and comforted him, while keeping Marian at arm's length. Perhaps because strangers don't ask for anything beyond that - it is the granting of kindness, but not the sharing of self. It's the latter Robin truly fears, but what Much and Marian deserve (although tbf Marian has problems with this as well).

“Either I’m part of your gang or I’m not” is a valid point, and Robin's still not happy even when she agrees to stay behind!

But she disobeys him, and saves his life. It's a rite of passage - almost all of the members of the gang have this.

Allan looking rather distressed as Guy is about the chop off Robin's head, and he makes a small movement just before the swing (as does Much).

Guy again pushing Marian past the point of discomfort - she left, wrote him a letter asking him to leave her alone, straight up told him to his face to leave her alone, and still he persists.

Her kissing Guy (to distract him from seeing Much and Will) is really the only time she sends mixed signals, but Guy's whole energy seems to be just to wear her down until she agrees to be with him and it's gross. It is however kind of amusing that he tries to be authoritative and forbid her from leaving, and she immediately walks away.

Robin and Marian are back in playful banter mode, although I wish there had been a deeper discussion (and that Robin had apologised in return). It doesn't quite feel like the conflict between them has been resolved, it really is just a "truce".

But I do like that it's Marian who reaches out to Robin at the end of this episode, because up until this point it's Robin who has been (somewhat) the one making overtures - asking her to join the gang, telling her he needs her, telling her he loves her, while Marian's been more reserved. This feels like her acknowledging that sometimes she needs to take the first step.

This was a long one - but as a I said, I really love this episode!