#she dropped into our dad’s life when she was a teenager; damn near gave him a heart attack because he had no idea she existed

[fingertipsmp3]

My sister messaged me

[sparklingchan]

Ruby Eyes|| Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Pairing : Reader(fem.) X Changbin

Word count : 7.3k+ 

Warnings : Mention of an accident, cuss words, divorce, a single kiss.

Genre : Romance, Soulmate AU, fluff, angst, best friends to lovers.

Description: Seo Changbin has done everything in his capacity to remove and replace you, yet fate seems to have different plans for the both of you.

A/N : Hello everyone ahhh I know it’s been so long y’all. So many things have been going on including exams and internships and I just didn’t have the patience to write :(( This one shot was written as a part of a collab event by wonderful, dear Ro! 

I hope y’all like it!

"So, how's it being back, y/n?"

Your dad looks older now than he did the last time you saw him - probably two years ago, when you were leaving the country.

You missed him, really. You missed his warmth and his wisdom and how he was a sharp contrast to your mother, more calm and composed. Sometimes you wonder how your mother had even managed to get your custody after their divorce.

"Okay, I guess." You lie.

You didn't want your father to know how your feelings are all over the place, ranging from sadness to anger and longingness.

It's a weird thing to be experiencing such a cocktail of emotions when you'd convinced yourself these feelings had disappeared the day you left the old neighborhood, seven years ago. You had not felt any attachment towards the new neighborhood that you and your mother then went on to live for the next two years before you moved abroad for your studies. Yet you feel nostalgic now, as your father drives you through your old old neighborhood.

"How's mom?" He asks, taking a left to a road all too familiar to you, "Is she still going to therapy?"

You nod, "She's getting better, I think. The new country seems to have changed her. The therapy is helping too. She has many friends there now. "

At first when you were offered a job at one of the biggest publishing companies in the world, you were ecstatic. But everything soon died down when you found out you were posted at a branch in the country you'd left behind. It was your mother who'd convinced you to take it.

"I know you don't like being back, y/n." Your dad smiles sadly when he pulls over infront of your old house.The house that contains years of secrets, tears, lies and whispered confessions in front of the mirror stands in front of you, as grand and pretty as ever. It looks different but similar enough to make you tear up a tad bit.

"But I'm glad you're here. I really am." He says, "I renovated the house a little when you told me you were moving back. I hope it's okay."

You smile at the old man, wrapping your arms around him, "Thanks, dad. I missed you. I'm glad you're here, too."

He pecks your forehead, "I missed you, too, love."

Moving in doesn't take a lot of time since your dad had already set up everything. You just had to get some of your stuff and you were ready to kick start your stay.

That evening, your father leaves after making you promise to call him if anything happens at all and when the front door closes, you find yourself in the company of your old room.

You lie on your bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling as you hum an old tune to yourself. And without meaning to, you find yourself thinking about him; The man you hadn't seen or talked to for a whole seven years. The man who'd tried his best to stay in touch with you yet gave up when you didn't reciprocate the same.

A horrific realization then dawns on you,

He'd obviously replaced you now.

The familiar clouds of grief loom over you, threatening to engulf you any moment now.

No. Not now, please.

Getting up from your bed immediately, you shake your head as you make your way to the mirror- the mirror that had encountered more honest tears and smiles and words than any human ever had. You stare at your reflection as tears escapes your eyes, the bright red iris of your right eye staring back at you when you rub your tears off.

You shiver.

"Shit, I forgot to wear the contacts."

Quickly grabbing your lenses from your bag, you put them on, concealing the scary blood red color of your right eye. You take two long strides across the room and pulling your favorite black hoodie over your head, you walk out of the door.

By the time you manage to leave the house, it's already 10:30 in the evening. A quiet calmness has fallen over the town, as the shops and restaurants near the market square slowly start closing up. Your feet are as if on autopilot, taking you to that one place you know would still be open; Yang's Café.

And rightly so, the smell of freshly brewed coffee reaches your nostrils when you walk through their main door, past the group of chatty teenagers waiting outside. This place hasn't changed much, you realize, the brown and golden hues of the place and the vintage coffee cups collection in the far corner of the Cafe are still the same. The only difference is that you're no longer here with your best friend right after school, you are here all alone on an evening too quiet for your liking.

"Y/n? Is that you?"

When you turn around to face the owner of the voice, you are stunned.

"Jeongin?"

Jeongin's family has owned this Cafe for three generations now, from his great-grandparents, his grandparents, his parents and soon enough it'll pass down to him. As a kid, you remember often playing with Jeongin at the park and teaming up with him during quiz competition. He was always sweet and always smiley.

But the handsome young man that stands in front of you doesn't resemble the Jeongin you once used to know, not even a little bit.

"What..what happened to you!" You exclaim, taking his face in your hands, "Where are the braces! And the specs and wow, would you look at the blue hair!"

Jeongin can only let out a few giggles as you continue squishing his face and complaining how big he's grown in only over seven years.

The customers give you weird stares but only the heavens above know how genuinely happy you are to see Jeongin, albeit the fact you almost couldn't recognize him there for a second.

"What have you done to my child?" You mutter when you've finally calmed down and Jeongin takes you to your seat.

"I have a mother, y/n, thank you very much," he laughs, taking a seat opposite to yours, loosening the Barista apron around his torso, "And I missed you too."

You attempt to pinch his cheeks but he is quick to dodge.

"So how have you been?" He asks through giggly breaths.

You sigh, "I'm good... I feel weird being back here, honestly but I think I'll get used to it soon. What about you?"

"I've been good. Graduated a few months back, now I'm working here full time." He ushers over a waiter, "What would you like, y/n?"

You don't even think for a second while responding, "An iced Americano, please."

The waiter notes your order and walks away before Jeongin pinches your arm teasingly.

"Ouch. What?"

"Old habits die hard, huh? You always used to drink an iced coffee whenever we hung out here. I am glad to see nothing much has changed," Jeongin laughs, "You and Changbin, too!"

That one name sends your entire mind into a frenzy. Changbin. Seo Changbin. The love of your life. The man who you wouldn't even go to school without, the man who had saved you from a terrible accident, also the man who probably no longer even remembers you.

And you realise, despite everything, your heart yearns for him, still- for you wouldn't be in so much pain at the mention of his name otherwise.

Jeongin seems to have noticed your discomfort because he immediately changes the topic, "Anyway, you have to try our new chocolate cake. It's heavenly, I'm telling you."

Your reason to leave the neighborhood wasn't a secret, really. It was public knowledge that your mother had blamed Changbin for the fatal accident you almost had.

You're grateful for what Jeongin does, and try your best to engage in conversations about the neighborhood and old gossip you'd missed out on. Yet all you want to do is drive out of the damn Cafe and find changbin.

"Y/n?"

Or maybe, Changbin will find you.

Behind Jeongin, you see the blurry image of a man that had once caused you great misery yet you had never felt as happy as when you were with him.

"Hi..hi, Changbin." You stammer as you see the said man walk towards your table.

The seven years have as if done some magic on him, because the Changbin that walks towards you in no way resembles your high school best friend.

With thick buff arms, new ear piercings and silver jewelry gracing his wrists and fingers, you have a hard time actually accepting the fact that Seo Changbin is really there, in front of you.

"Been long, huh?" He grins, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and somewhere in the depths of your conscience, you realize it might have been your fault. You'd done everything in your capacity to break apart from this friendship, ignoring his calls, changing your number, even going as far as blocking him on all social media.

So, did you really expect him to welcome you back with open arms when you had caused him so much pain?

Jeongin brings an extra chair for Changbin to sit on and soon, the three of you are talking, maybe not like the old, happy days but it's still better than nothing. Changbin looks at you everytime you throw your head back and laugh, your eyes squeezing shut as his heart clenches in his chest.

You are really back home.

"So what have you been doing? I told you guys about me." Jeongin says, stealing a bite off of Changbin's cheesecake.

"Oh..you know," Changbin giggles, the tip of his ears turning a light pink shade.

You raise your eye brows in confusion.

"Been busy with the wedding and all."

Your heart drops. "Wedding? W-whose wedding?" You try to laugh it off but it's very evident from the way you're gripping your glass of iced Americano that it has affected you. A lot more than you actually thought.

"I'm getting married, y/n," Changbin smiles, "I'm so glad you could be around for the wedding."

*

Your grief stricken self has not gotten up from the bed since last night and you're thankful to Jeongin for finally checking up on you or else you would have gone deeper into the spiral hole of despair.

"Are you really going to be like this, y/n?"

You hate being miserable on the very second day of your stay. You hate depending on Jeongin. But you can barely move without bursting out into tears,so it seems as though there's no better idea than have someone take care of you at the moment.

"I'm sorry, Jeongin. " You manage to speak when he places a bag full of snacks and drinks on the dining table, "And thanks."

Jeongin chuckles, "Don't thank me, just yet. Guess who wants to meet up with you?"

Your eyes widen for a split second as you sit up on the couch, "Who?!"

No, he wouldn't, would he?

"It's not the person you think, y/n. Calm down." He laughs, "It's Bang Chan. Your senior, you remember?"

Oh, yes, the infamous Bang Chan. Shy smiles, dimples, curly hair, angelic eyes. Yeah, you remember the school's heartthrob. Very clearly.

"I was talking to him this morning and he said he'd be very glad to catch up with you again." Jeongin settles beside you, "It's not a date, y/n. He's an old friend. It wouldn't hurt, would it? You can't possibly sit here all day long crying about him."

You open your mouth to argue, but only air slips out and you realise you don't have anything to defend your miserable state with. You knew this was coming; when you cut off all ties with Seo Changbin, you knew this was coming.

Jeongin is right; you need to go out and meet new people.

You roll your eyes before pinching Jeongin's cheeks, "Fine. Give him my number."

He responds by pulling your cheeks as well.

*

The first day of work is weirdly gut wrenching.

You hadn't expected yourself to be this nervous but here you are, muttering under your breath as you make way towards the office.

"You'll be okay, y/n," you breathe in, "You've worked hard for this." And breathe out.

A few more minutes of self pep talking and you see all your hard work and expectations go down the drain as you feel a few droplets of rain fall onto your head. You look up and the dark, heavy clouds greet you.

Bloody brilliant.

You see the office goers around you jog quickly to the nearest shelter but you're short on luck today as your gaze falls on your watch and you realize you don't have enough time to wait for the rain to pass.

So you grab your office bag, cover your head with that and make a run for it.

The sole of your high heel shoes dig into your feet and a throbbing pain shoots through your body, as you wince. Note to yourself - never wear heels to office again.

You also secretly pray to the gods that your contact lens don't get washed off. Turning up at your new office on the first day with a blood red iris doesn't feel too fun, really.

"Do you need a lift?"

You had been so busy running to your office that you don't notice when a black car drives toward you and the driver rolls down the window, offering you a smile.

Seo Changbin.

Your heart skips a few beats.

"Y/n, do you need a lift?"

You blink back to reality when he clicks his fingers in front of you, "I-I mean if that's okay with you."

Changbin smiles, pointing to the passenger's seat, "Come on in."

When you're comfortably seated in his car, using his spare towel to wipe off the water from your face and hair, his questions start-

"So.." He steps on the break when the traffic light turns red, "How have you been?"

You look at the digital clock displayed on the cars' LED, and sigh. You're late to work and you're stuck in traffic with the one man you'd rather not be stuck in traffic with. Brilliant.

"Good." Your eyes are focused on the cars outside the window, "You?"

There's a moment of silence before he speaks again, "Fine."

Fine? Just Fine? Shouldn't he be over the clouds, now that the wedding is finally around the corner?

"Okay.."

"Actually, I meant to ask you earlier, y/n." He turns to you, a gentle smile playing at his lips, "I am throwing a party this weekend. I'd love it if you could come by. And I could introduce you to her."

You sink back into your seat, biting your lip, wondering if you want to ever know who her is. Your peace of mind is more important than meeting your ex crush's fiance, right? And if you do end up going to the party, whom would you hang out with? It's not like you know any of his rich friends and cousins and there's no way you'd hang out with Changbin and the said fiance.

You are about to respectfully reject the invitation when a sudden, seemingly good idea pops into your head.

Bang Chan.

You nod, shrugging, "Okay. I'll be there."

You clasp your hands together as he continues driving and you look out the window, unable to suppress the bubbling excitement.

"Great, then." He replies, suspiciously.

*

The evening of the party finally arrives, much to your dismay, you find yourself seated next to Chan. He's just the same as the guy in your memory; a gentleman.

"You look pretty, y/n." He had greeted you as he held the car door open for you, "I'm glad we could meet up."

His words turn your cheeks into a darker shade of red but your heart doesn't beat quite as furiously as you'd expect it to.

Muttering a small thank you, you seat comfortably in the car while Chan drives towards Changbin's family's old Farmhouse on the outskirts of the city. You've been there before - during summer holidays, he would take you there with his family. That place was only filled with happy memories of sunshine, swimming pools, watermelon juice and bonfires.

You swallow the grief that comes along with these memories.

"Are we here already?" Chan pulls over in a familiar driveway not even ten minutes later, jogging up to your door and clicking it open, like the gentleman he is.

"Yeah, we're here." Chan smiles, "Very less traffic tonight."

You guys walk through the huge metallic gate, making your way through the main door of the house.

"Uh..." People are crowded mostly around the front door and in the front yard, so you and Chan have to push and squeeze your way into the Farmhouse. You hate the feeling of sweaty bodies pressing against you (or holding Chan's hand for stability) but desperate situations call for desperate measures.

"I hate it here." You mutter when you later find yourself by the pool side, swirling the drink that you don't even plan on drinking and looking at all the flushed faces having the time of their lives.

Thankfully, Chan happens to be on the same boat as you.

"I'm sorry I dragged you here, Chan. We could have just gone for a movie."

Chan giggles, "Hey, it's alright. I don't mind, I'm glad I could spend some time with you after so many years."

His eyes shine and dimples deepen.

You whisper, "Yeah, me too."

Chan is a handsome man, good at all kinds of sport, good at arts, very smart and intelligent yet there's a part of you that knows you'd never be able to reciprocate his flirtatious words. It's sad, really, but that's just how life is.

"Wow, those two seem to be having the time of their lives." Chan chuckles, pointing at someone behind you.

It's quite dark outside, the only source of light being a few decorative fairylights hung at random places haphazardly.

Hiding behind a huge, tall bush, you see a couple, kissing each other like it were the last day on the planet.

The guy's hands roam all over the woman's body and the woman is so loud that even you could hear her sighs and moans. When she pulls away to catch her breath for a second, Chan asks you, "You know her?"

"Nope. I don't know either of them."

You look away; what kind of creep looks at a happy couple like that? (Not a creep, just a lonely and touch starved person)

"Should we check out the dinner table?" Chan suggests and you agree with a nod, "I hope there's no crowd there."

As expected, there actually isn't a crowd there - there's only Changbin, sitting and nibbling on a pizza slice while scrolling through the phone.

The moment your eyes land on him, your feet as if stop on their own and your heart bangs furiously against your chest.

He's breathtakingly gorgeous.

By the time you debate in your head whether or not you want to sit there and fill your stomach, Chan has already made his way to Changbin.

"Hey, Bin!" He greets him with a smile.

Changbin looks at Chan with an unamused smile, the same one from your high school days, when these two were named the biggest rivals on campus. You wonder if somewhere deep in his heart, Changbin had still not let go of that rivalry.

"Hey, Changbin." You manage to whisper before sitting beside Chan.

He looks almost angry.

"You should have the pizza. It's good." He mutters, turning to pass you a slice of pizza on a plate, "Help yourself, Chan."

Yup, there it is. The Seo Changbin that would kill to be on top. You feel worse about dragging Chan here now when neither of you were having a good time.

"Thanks, mate. " Chan replies.

Your ears ring with the sound of approaching footsteps, and when a pretty girl comes walking in and takes Changbin in her arms, your heart stings. Like a fresh wound.

"Y/n.." Chan whispers to you as you watch the two collide in a loving embrace, Changbin smiling at her and running his fingers through her hair.

Your heart hurts at how happy and content he looks.

You could have had that, a part of you thinks, if you weren't such a coward, it would have been you instead of her.

"Y/n," Chan calls you again.

"What?" Your tone is harsher than you intended, "What happened?"

You think Chan is about to give you the whole it-is-time-to-move-on talk but he doesn't, instead he points at the girl and whispers,

"It's her. The girl we saw earlier."

The rest of the night is blurry to you, all conversations, all gazes, all thoughts just feel ....like an awkward dream.

"We have to tell Changbin."

You're sitting at Yang's Cafe at 1 am the same night, watching Jeongin's brother guide his staff to clean the place up.

"I agree." Chan says, biting the inside of his cheeks.

While you, on the other hand, are completely zoned out, staring at the glass of water placed in front of you and watching the droplets on its surface race each other.

"Y/n, what do you think?" Jeongin asks when you don't take part in their discussions.

You sigh, "I don't know. I really don't. As much as it troubles me that Changbin is being cheated on, I don't want to get involved in their personal relationship. "

"Let's not tell anyone for now, then. But someday in the future, before that goddamn wedding, we have to tell him. He deserves to know." Chan agrees.

You purse your lips and close your eyes.

Chan is right.

Changbin deserves to know the truth.

*

"So, how's it being back in town, y/n?"

"It feels good. Weird, but good." You smile at your old teacher, "How have you been, Miss Oh?"

Your teacher adds sugar to the cup of tea in her hands and then looks at you, smiling - the same old smile, except with more wrinkles now, "I've been good. I'm retiring next year so I'm glad I could see you before that, huh?"

You nod your head, "I'm glad too. The school hasn't changed much, unlike what I had expected."

Other than the addition of some new labs and libraries, and the change in color of the walls, everything was still the same. No place in this old school building feels foreign to you.

"Ugh, these administration people I tell you, y/n, they're cheap idiots. They won't spend a single penny on infrastructure unless it's absolutely necessary." She complains as you giggle in response,

"They've always been like that."

Miss Oh gulps some tea from her cup, "Anyway, y/n, I have a class now. I would have loved to stay and chat, really, but I'm afraid that might get me in to trouble."

"No issues, Miss Oh. Go ahead. I'll just roam around the school a little more though, if that's okay."

After Miss Oh leaves, you step out of her cabin and walk the familiar corridors, reminiscent of the memories you have here. Studying a few minutes before tests, bunking classes, running to class when you're late, hanging out with your friends- these corridors have seen you grow in love, in friendship, in life. There's absolutely nothing that could ever replace these memories.

Mindlessly, you wander around the third floor, walking toward the end of the corridor before stopping in front of an old door, way too familiar to not try and push open.

While a part of you tells you it might not be a good idea to go into that room again, there's also a part of you that thinks it's a bloody brilliant idea.

Pushing the door open, you walk into the old dusty room, sighing in relief when you see a particular set of letters still carved on the wall.

CB and YN were here.

You finally let your tears run free, as you crouch down to touch the letters.

Your heart aches at how much you miss Changbin being an important part of your life and how much you miss being his top priority. And your heart aches for Changbin, who is so in love with his fiancé and has no idea he's being cheated on.

You almost want to leave this town and go back to your mother, away from this terrible mess. Yet you don't find it in yourself to act on those thoughts.

Maybe, it is your fear of abandoning him once again that stops you. Or, maybe it is simply the unconditional love you harbor for him.

* Surprisingly, Yang's Cafe is near empty that afternoon.

"Did something happen, y/n? You look really worried." Changbin has his arms crossed over his chest, looking at you with a tense frown.

"Um..it's kind of complicated." You sigh. For a second, you see the genuine concern and innocence on his face, and you wonder if it is worth telling him the truth at all because it would kill you to see him lose his smile but then, his engagement band shines on his ring finger and your stomach turns unpleasantly.

He has to know. From you. In person.

"Changbin, that day at your party...I saw something. " You whisper, "Something I shouldn't have. I should have turned a blind eye really but I can't. My conscience won't allow it. I'm sorry, Bin."

"Y/n, it's okay, just tell me," he reaches over and wraps his fingers around yours, soft and gentle, "You're scaring me."

"Changbin, your fiance is cheating on you. I-I saw her kissing another man that night. Chan saw it too." You feel sick even having to say this to him, "I think you should confront her."

He sucks in a deep breathe, his face completely void of any emotions as he extracts his hands from yours.

"I know." Is all he says.

His eyes drill into yours, as if accusing you of a crime. He looks angry. Just how he looked the day you brought Chan to his party.

"Why are you still marrying her then?" You question.

He sits up straight, "Y/n, I wish I could explain. But I can't. I'm sorry. And please, stay out of this, okay?"

"Why? Why should I stay out of it?" Your voice threatens to break, "I cannot watch my best friend marry a woman who's not loyal. You deserve better than this, Bin."

A sarcastic chuckle leaves Changbin's lips as he taps his foot against the floor, "Let me correct you, y/n. You were my best friend. Seven years ago. You're not anymore."

Your heart shatters.

A part of you knows you deserve this after ghosting him for seven long years. You were the center of each other's world at one point of time.How could you have been so selfish to ever think that your absence and lack of communication wouldn't hurt him?

"Changbin, I'm sorry for everything I did okay. B-but I never stopped thinking or worrying about you. Even for one second. And I still do."

Changbin pushes his chair back and stands up while you stay frozen in your seat.

"It doesn't seem like that though. "

"What do you even mean!"

"Chan. I mean Chan, y/n." He grabs his phone and purse, "Goodbye, y/n. I hope Chan turns out to be a better friend than I ever did." With that, the love of your life walks out of Yang's Cafe.

And for once, he doesn't even look back.

* "Y/n, don't let go of my hand!"

Changbin is panting heavily, his voice shaking with fear as he desperately tries to hold onto you.

He should have known it would be a bad idea to play badminton near the infamous cliff in your town yet when you had showed him your innocent smile and pleading eyes that day, he just couldn't say no.

Your sweaty hands clutch his, legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. Your free hand grabs the rough surface of the rocky cliff to keep yourself from falling.

You want to cry; but you're too traumatized to even let out more than a few terrified grunts. "Y/n," he yells, "I'm going to try and pull you up one more time, okay?."

You don't even remember how you had ended up in this situation; one second you were happily giggling, playing badminton with Changbin and in the next second, you found yourself hanging by the cliff, praying for your dear life.

With all the energy he has left, he tries to pull you up onto the surface.

"Y/n, you have to free the other hand. Let go of that rock." He pants.

You shake your head vigorously, you know you would not survive if you let go of the rock, you'd fall thousands of feet below into absolute nothingness.

"Y/n, please listen to me." Changbin pleads, now crying, "Please. I'll catch you, I promise. I'll not let you die. Just..please."

Changbin sounds like he's about to give up and in all honesty, you couldn't blame him really. Everytime your eyes fall on what's beneath you, a part of you loses hope.

"Please, come on, y/n," he's still pulling at your free hand, while his right hand awaits desperately to grab the other hand. A mixture or sweat and tears grace his face, making him shine under the bright afternoon sun. Your heart aches at the mere thought of never seeing him again- your friend, your childhood crush, your partner in everything.

Well, here goes nothing then.

You suck in a deep breath and let go the Rock, immediately reaching for Changbin. He is quick to grab both of your arms and in one swift movement, he pulls you up onto the surface.

You fall onto his chest, "Y-you saved me."

Changbin let's out a sob mixed with a relieved giggle, pulling you into his arms.

Your eyes feel heavy, as darkness slowly begins to engulf your vision.

"Oh God, I am so sorry this happened, y/n. It's all my fault." He cries, rubbing your back softly, "I'm so sorry. I thought I was going to lose you, oh God. Fuck!"

You want to tell him that it was never his fault, and that you wouldn't even be alive if not for him but your body betrays you and your body goes limp against his.

*

"I'm not leaving this neighborhood."

Your hands rest angrily on your waist as your mom frantically walks from your closet to where the suitcase is spread open on your bed, shifting all your clothes. She dumps them inside the suitcase, not bothering to fold them even.

"You will do as I say! That Seo Changbin tried to push you off of a cliff and heaven knows what he might do next!" Your mom yells back.

You sit at the edge of your bed, trying to keep yourself calm, "Mom, I told you it was an accident. I fell because I was going after the shuttlecock and didn't notice the cliff. Moreover, why would my best friend want try to kill me!"

Your mom let's out a sarcastic laugh, closing the suitcase roughly. She looks at you with eyes full of contempt and a part of you knows that there's no point in trying to convince her. Her mind is already made. Yet you refuse to go down without a fight.

"You're just sixteen, sweetie. You don't know anything about the cruel world, " your mother sighs, "Rich people are not friends with anyone. Changbin may be nice to you but he only sees you as a pathetic poor girl."

"Mom, we're not even poor!"

"Yes, I know. But those filthy rich businessmen consider everyone below their economic status poor. His family probably doesn't like him being friends with you which is why they asked him to get rid of you."

You think of Mrs. Seo's face in your head, always smiling and always welcoming. You remember Changbin's sister and how she'd promised to let you borrow her dress for this year's winter prom. And you think about Changbin- his face, his smile, his passion for music and his protectiveness towards you. Why would these people ever want to hurt you?

"Mom, you're being ridiculous right now! Do you even hear yourself!" You stand up from the bed, now beyond frustrated.

She walks upto you and grabs your arm tightly, nails digging into your skin as you whimper slightly. "You will listen to me. I am your mother and you will listen to me. " she growls, "Pack the rest of your stuff. We're leaving tomorrow."

When she finally walks out your bedroom, your first instinct is to dress yourself in your black hoodie and track pants, and quietly slip out of the back window of your room.

The cold air nips at your skin, goosebumps slowly appearing on your arms and legs but you're too preoccupied to pay too much heed to it.

You reach Changbin's house and like always, walk up to the backyard and climb upto his room through the emergency staircase.

When Changbin hears knocks on his window, he quickly removes his headphones, "y/n?"

He walks upto the window and let's you in, his heart more at peace now than it's ever been the entire day. The guilt from the accident you had earlier was clawing at his conscience.

His room is mostly dark except for his table lamp. You notice the lyrics notebook lying on the table, open with some scribbles and random phrases on the pages.

"How are you feeling?"

You sit at the edge of his bed, cross legged while he kneels on the floor to get to your level. His hands find yours naturally.

"Fine," you swallow the tears that have been accumulating since you left the house, "Changbin, I- we're leaving tomorrow."

Changbin is taken aback; his heart shattering into billions of pieces at your words.

"Leaving? What do you mean Leaving?" his voice trembles.

You lick your dry lips and tell him everything your mom had told you earlier. When his face twists bitterly, a part of you wishes you'd held your tongue yet a bigger part of you wants Changbin to know the truth now; you didn't want him sending you off with lies in his mind and the fear of him finding out some years later just killed you inside.

"I'm so sorry, Changbin. Mom's just not been okay after the divorce." Your voice breaks when Changbin refuses to look at you, "I know she's speaking bullshit. But there's absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind, I've tried I swear. I'm sorry, Changbin."

When Changbin finally does look at you, even in the dim lit room, you see the tears glistening on his face, mirroring the ones that roll down your cheeks. "Why are you sorry, y/n? I don't blame your mom." He mutters, "It was partly my fault. I should have taken more care, I-"

You cup his cheek, "Shh. Bin, are we really going to spend my last night here crying and blaming ourselves? We might never see each other again."

The words sink deep into his soul, and he nods. He wills his tears back in as he grabs your hand tighter.

"Okay. What do you wanna do?"

You smile a little, "You're not gonna like it though. "

"Stargazing it is then." He giggles a little as the both of you make your way to balcony attached to his room.

It is quiet outside, unlike the noise in your head and you feel the calmness spreading to you when you look up at the stars.

Changbin brings a picnic mat from inside and spreads it out on the floor, along with two pillows and a blanket.

"We'll stay in touch, yeah? If you ever need anything, I'll be right here." He reassures you, lying beside you, hands behind his head.

You smile yet you cannot bring yourself to promise him the same because you know your mother would do everything in her power to push the two of you apart, even to the point of physically hurting Changbin. You would never want that so you'd rather distance yourself and let Changbin forget about you. And maybe, just maybe fate would be a little nicer to you and decide to bring you into his life again. Many years later.

He presses a soft kiss to your head, "You'll always be my best friend, y/n. I don't care how far we are."

It takes everything in your being to not repeat the words.

*

"Changbin, come on we're getting you to the hospital this instant, okay?" Mrs. Seo is furious next morning, running from room to room, looking through the list of doctors she'd saved just in case of emergency.

When she looks at her son, sitting on the sofa with one of his eye irises turning a glowing red, she is reassured that this is an emergency.

"How did this even happen, mom? I swear I didn't try to do anything funny with my eye." He murmurs, scared, "It feels so itchy, gosh!"

Mrs.Seo looks at him with concern just when the doctor picks the call, "Oh, hello Dr.Lee! Thank god you picked up!"

After his mom walks out of his room, Changbin quickly types you a text,

Binnie: Hey. Did you leave already?

Y/nnie: No not yet. We've stopped at the doctor's.

Changbin's eyes widen in alarm.

Binnie: What why?

You look at your face in the decorative mirror at the doctor's waiting room, one of your irises burning into a bright shade of ruby.

Y/nnie: Mom's running a cold.

You close the messenger app before he even replies, deciding to change your number and deleting all your old contacts as soon as you move into your new house. And as much as it hurt you, this one text turned out to be the last time Changbin and you ever talked.

*

It has been raining all day, which means you were stuck in your goddamn house with nothing to do but cry about Changbin and your lost friendship and your broken heart.

After you manage to get some food into your body during dinner time, you crawl back to your room and look into the mirror as you comb your hair and moisturize your skin.

(Self care is important, y'all)

Your red iris stares back at you, taunting your mistakes and calling you a coward.

If only you had still tried to keep in touch with him, if only that stupid accident wouldn't have happened in the first place, if only.

Suddenly, a knock on your balcony door makes you jump in your place.

Shit. Is it a burglar?

You grab the closest thing that could be classified as a weapon - which happens to be an umbrella.

The knocking continues.

"Y/n, it's Changbin." He yells, "Can I please talk to you?"

You freeze in your spot.

Why in the world is he here? Does he have anything worse to say? Is he here to invite you to his wedding? But why would he sneak in through the balcony when he can easily ring the main door bell.

"Y/n, are you in there?"

You quickly walk upto the door and slide it open, revealing Changbin, completely drenched in the rain. His wet hair stuck to his face and "Shit. What the- God, come inside!"

He obeys and tiptoes inside your room, a guilty expression plastered on his face.

You guide him directly to the bathroom and offer him a towel.

"What are you even doing here, Bin?" You lean against the door frame, hands crossed over your chest.

He is drying his hair with the towel when he looks up at you as if to answer your question but he stops. His mouth hangs open as his eyes remain glued to your face.

And that's when you realize why he looks so surprised.

"Shit- fuck." You turn around immediately, "my lenses," you mutter to yourself.

But before you can even walk upto your dressing table, Changbin has caught your wrist and spun you around, pulling you closer to his body.

"Your eye." He let's out a shaky breath.

"Yes, I know. Please don't freak out. It's always been like this after -"

"After the accident." He finishes your sentence, "I know."

Your mouth runs dry as his face draws in closer, "What do you mean you know? What do you know?"

He let's go of your wrist and takes a step back, turning around so that his back faces you.

And when he turns to look at you again, you swear you could have passed out there and then.

"Y-you have it too." You whisper, weak in the knees, "You have a red iris too."

Changbin gives you a small smile, "Yes, y/n."

"But why? What does this mean?" You say, "Is it a symptom of some chronic illness?"

"It's a soul mark."

"What's a soul mark?"

"It's a mark that exists on the bodies of soulmates."

You feel a pang in your chest; like someone was squeezing your heart out of your chest.

"Right," You fall back onto the bed, dazed with the sudden piece of information, "And how do you know all this?"

Changbin kneels down in front of you, hands finding yours. He looks more relaxed than he did since the first day you come back to town.

It almost feels like you had been given back your old friend.

"I've been doing my research, y/n. After you left, this is all I've been doing." He says, "This is also the reason why I had gotten engaged. By that time, I had given up on finding a soulmate. So I just settled for whatever I got. I didn't even feel bad when I found out my fiance was not in love with me. For the world, we might look like a happy couple, but truly, it was just a marriage of convenience for our parents' business."

You bite your lips wondering how to respond to these words. He'd laid bare his heart in front of you, something you never thought he'd do ever again.

"What now?" You say, tired.

He intertwines your fingers, "Also, I'm sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have said all that."

You nod, "It's alright. I know you didn't mean it. And for the record, I and Chan have nothing going on."

"And for the record, I also broke off my engagement."

Your eyes widen as a gasp leaves your lips, "What? Why?"

"Because when I told my parents that I do not love my fiancé, and that I have only ever loved you, they said my happiness was more important than their business."

When you don't reply to his words, he looks worried, "Hey, you don't have to feel burdened to like me back and all okay? Literally, if you want me to leave you alone, I will. I understand-"

You pull him by the nape and place the softest, gentlest, most sincere kiss on his lips.

"I feel the same way, dumbass." You sigh as you pull him into your arms.

He muzzles his face in the crook of your neck, playing with your hair from behind, "So what now?"

"Let's start with a date." You say, "Let's take it slow."

Changbin wraps his arms tighter around you, kissing your cheek, "As you wish, my love. "

[seanfalco]

Common Stupid Thieves

Sean Falco x Reader // Platonic!Derek & Reader

Prompt: I would like to request a Sean fic where the reader is a fellow criminal who’s in on the valet scam (or another scam of your invention).  I think it would be hot to drive around in fast cars doing mischief with him.  Hehe 😎 💕 Please and thank you!  You’re the best! Requested by: @badsext​ Warning(s): Language, Recreational Drug Use, Criminal activities, Infidelity Word Count: 3.5k

a/n: Aaaaaa, I was so excited when I got this prompt because I’ve been wanting to write something with a fellow criminal reader for a while now, but just didn’t know what I wanted to do, but this gave me the perfect excuse to think about it more.  There will be two parts.

01. |

“Hey dog!” Derek greeted, joining Sean at the valet podium, a wide grin on his face as he sidled up next to his friend.

“Hey, man,” Sean replied, rubbing his hands together against the cold, his breath misting in the brisk night air.  Autumn had already descended on Portland and the nights were swiftly growing colder as the leaves turned colour.

“What?” Sean asked, recognizing the pensive look on his friend’s face as if he had something to say and Derek held his hands up in innocence.

“Nothin’ bro,” he exclaimed, chuckling slightly, but Sean merely arched a thick brow at him until Derek finally cracked.  “Okay, okay.  Actually, I have somethin’ I wanted to run by you.”

“See, I knew it,” Sean laughed, his head falling back in amusement, his gaze taking in the starts overhead for a brief moment before refocusing on his friend and business partner.

“Yeah, yeah, you know me too well,” Derek muttered before jumping into his story.  “Look, I got this friend, okay, and she needs a job…” he began, Sean cutting him off.

“No.  No fuckin’ way.”

“What, no man, c’mon—” Derek argued.

“No, you come on!” We’d have t’start splittin’ th’tips three ways when business is already slow.  Besides, what about our little side venture?  How are we gunna keep that a secret?” he exclaimed, his voice dropping to a rushed whisper.  “How do we know we can trust this person?  I don’t like it, man,” he said, shaking his head.

“Aw no, man, she can be trusted,” Derek insisted, pulling Sean aside, away from the valet stand.  “I’ve known [y/n] since we were kids.  She’s good people and she ain’t no snitch.  She could be a real asset, dog.”

Sean heaved a breath, deliberating.  He trusted Derek, and if Derek trusted this [y/n] enough to vouch for her, then Sean would give her the benefit of the doubt.  He just hoped it wouldn’t bite them in the arse later.

“...Alright,” he sighed, turning his face toward his friend.

“What, really?” Derek asked excitedly, his grin returning, brightening his face.  “Oh man, you are not gunna regret this!  Just think of how many more places we can hit a night with a three man crew!  It’s gunna be great.”

“Yeah, so you keep tellin’ me,” Sean laughed, rolling his eyes as a car pulled up to the curb.

“Hey Sean, can you take this one?  I wanna call [y/n] and tell her the good news,” Derek exclaimed, already pulling his phone from his pocket.

“Yeah, alright,” Sean called over his shoulder.  

“You’re gunna love her, man!”

——

It was your first night valeting at Nino’s, Derek really having come through for you on the job thing, your last one didn’t really pan out, but at least this one seemed like it’d be easy enough, from what he’d told you.

Shoving your hands in your coat pockets against the cold, you approached the valet podium at the curb, your friend nowhere to be seen.  Instead, a tall slender man with a mop of unruly dark curls stood guard out front, shifting from foot to foot as he looked down at his phone, a small smile lingering on his lips.

Sensing your presence, he gave a start, quickly pocketing his phone and flashing you a proper smile.  “Hello, welcome t’Nin-ohh,” he cut off, realizing you weren’t a customer, taking in your identical white dress shirt and green jacket.

“Hey,” you greeted, offering him a sheepish grin.

“You must be [y/n],” he guessed, taking your hand to shake firmly.

“That’s me,” you replied, gripping his hand just as firmly, meeting his moss green eyes.  “And you must be Sean.”

“[y/n]!  Hey, you’re here!” Derek called as he approached, cutting Sean off before he could respond.  “Looks like you two already got acquainted.”

“Yep, we uhm, we met,” you murmured, feeling Sean’s eyes on you as you turned to Derek.

“Awesome,” Derek exclaimed, rubbing his hands together excitedly.  “This is gunna be great!”

It wasn’t long before your first customer drove up and Derek had Sean show you where the valet lot was around the block.

“See?  Easy peasy,” Sean exclaimed as you parked the car.

“Easy peasy,” you agreed, wondering if you should bring up the questions you had about the other part of the job.

“The next local customer we get, we’ll go together and I’ll show you th’ropes,” he said, sensing your unvoiced questions.

“Alright,” you nodded, following suit as he got out of the car.

Walking back to the front of the restaurant, you buzzed with excitement, and instead, a different question sprung to your lips.

“So, how long have you known Derek?”

Sean’s brows furrowed in thought.  “Since my family moved to th’area, about seven years ago.”

“Where were you from originally?” you asked, unable to quite keep your eyes from returning to his distractingly handsome face.

“Originally, Dublin,” he chuckled — that explained the accent — “but when my dad split, my mum and I moved to th’states.  Then when she married my stepdad he decided to move us all across th’country t’start a construction company out here that went belly up in less than a year,” he scoffed, glancing over at you.

“What about you?  How long have you known Derek?” he countered.

“Since middle school,” you answered, grinning as you remembered all the shenanigans the pair of you had gotten into — it seemed you were soon to continue that legacy, though this time you really didn’t wanna get caught.

“There you guys are, took you long enough!” Derek exclaimed.

“Oh ha ha,” you muttered, shoving his shoulder lightly as you joined him behind the valet stand, standing near the tall glass encased heater to banish the chill that had taken hold as you walked back from the parking lot.

“Sean has a girlfriend, by the way, so no funny business, [y/n],” he whispered, noticing the way your gaze kept seeking the handsome Irishman out.

“Yeah, so?” you snorted softly, so Sean wouldn’t overhear, only for Derek to jab you in the ribs with his elbow.

“I mean it, [y/n], don’t meddle,” he hissed, all traces of levity gone from his face.

Rolling your eyes, you huffed an indignant sigh.  “Yeah, yeah.  But if he makes a move on me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to resist,” you teased, only half serious.  Anyone who turned that down, girlfriend or no, would be a bloody fool.

“Yeah, like that would happen,” Derek snorted and your mouth fell open.

“Gee thanks,” you scoffed indignantly, a little hurt that your friend didn’t think you had a chance.

“[y/n], don’t be like that,” he laughed, nudging you again, this time playfully.  “Riley’s a good girl and Sean’s head over heels for her.”

“Good for her,” you muttered, turning away to check your phone, trying not to sound too jealous.

To pass the time between customers, you recounted stories to Sean of yours and Derek’s teenage years, Derek cutting in every now and then to correct you, or deny his involvement; joking around.  Every time you managed to make Sean laugh, you counted it as a win.

Before long, a flashy SUV pulled up and Sean climbed into the driver’s seat as the couple handed him the keys before heading into the restaurant, leaving their vehicle in your capable hands.  

“Looks like their place is only a couple blocks away,” Sean announced, poking through their built-in GPS and you shared a grin, quickly jumping into the passenger seat.

“We’ll be right back,” he exclaimed, winking at Derek.

“Uh huh, don’t have too much fun now,” Derek teased back, flashing a wide grin at the pair of you.

For a moment, as he accelerated, the motor revving to life, you were reminded of the scene in Ferris Bueller when the two valets flew over the hill in his friend’s dad’s car to the Star Wars theme, taking it for a little joy ride.

“Okay, so, some ground rules so we don’t get caught,” Sean began, pulling you from your thoughts and you turned to give him your full attention.  “One, no stealin’ anything from the vehicles themselves, pretty self explanatory.  They notice anythin’ missin’ from here, it’s the easiest thing t’tie back to us,” he explained.

“Got it.  What’s two?” you asked with a nod.

“Two, we only go t’houses that are in th’neighborhood.  We can’t afford a long drive if we wanna make it back before their meal’s done.  Get in, get out, quickly.”

“Simple enough, you agreed.

“And three,” Sean said as he pulled into the couple’s driveway, using their garage door opener as your way in— “only take things they won’t notice, or at least not right away.”

“Okay, like jewelry, small electronics, cash… gotcha,” you murmured, unbuckling.  “What if they have an alarm system?”

“Then we turn around and go back.  The goal is t’not get caught.  There’ll be other houses, other opportunities.  Don’t get greedy.”

Nodding, you got out and tried the door to the house, finding it unlocked, though you weren’t all that surprised, most people didn’t usually lock the door inside their garage — what’s the point when your garage door’s shut tight?

“I’m in,” you announced as the door swung open, managing to pull an amused snort from your curly haired partner.

“C’mon, let’s see what goodies are waitin’ for us,” he said, bobbing his eyebrows at you before rushing up the stairs ahead of you and into the house.

“Damn, these people are loaded,” you murmured in awe, trailing behind Sean and letting your gaze travel their living room.  The flat screen hanging over the mantle would’ve completely dwarfed your tiny apartment.

“Yeah, most of th’people that come t’Nino’s are,” Sean murmured, setting to work, sweeping the place for valuables.

Sneaking into their bedroom, you hit the jackpot as you threw open the door to their walk in closet. ”What d’you think?” you asked, turning to Sean as you pulled a skimpy black negligee from the rack and held it in front of your body.

For a moment Sean’s mouth worked silently, his face turning pink before your eyes and you couldn’t help the pleased grin that stole across your lips, wondering if he was imagining you in it.

“Lady’s got good taste,” he said, clearing his throat before awkwardly pointing toward the vanity.  “Let’s, uh, look in there,” he suggested and you snorted, hanging the outfit back up and following him over.

“Did I fluster you?” you asked, smirking at him out of the corner of your eye as you picked through the jewelry that looked least worn.

“No,” Sean exclaimed quickly, avoiding your gaze, though it seemed like his face flushed deeper, even in the dim light.  “I’m gunna go check out the bathroom,” he announced suddenly, hurrying off and you fought back a laugh, though you wished he’d flirt back a little.

Getting back to work, you snagged a pair of expensive designer shoes and a large handbag — it would fetch a pretty good price on ebay.  Stuffing the heels and the necklaces into the purse, you met back up with Sean in the kitchen.

“You find anything?” you asked and Sean held up a sliver watch as well as a handful of loose change.  “Pocket change?” you exclaimed, fighting back a laugh.  “And here I thought you were a hardened criminal, Sean Falco.”

Sean rolled his eyes, slipping the change into his pocket.  “I wouldn’t say hardened, I just wanna make things a little easier on my bank account.  Bein’ a starvin’ artist ain’t as glamorous as it seems,” he snorted sarcastically, heading back toward the garage as he checked his phone, Derek texting to let you know you were in the clear yet.

“You’re an artist?” you asked curiously, climbing back into the borrowed SUV and Sean opened the garage door, backing out into the street.

“Photographer,” he clarified, his eyes flicking over to you.

“Really?  What do you take pictures of?”

“Oh, a little bit of everything,” he replied, smiling to himself.  “People, places, anything that catches my eye.  I like things with personality,” he explained.

“I’d love to see your work sometime,” you mused.

“Yeah, course,” Sean exclaimed, clearing his throat quickly and returning his eyes to the road, though you could have sworn a dusting of pink had returned to his cheeks as the light from a streetlamp lit up his face.

“Bet your girlfriend likes being your model,” you ventured quietly after a long moment, wanting to see how he reacted.

“No, actually—” Sean began before frowning.  “How did you know I have a girlfriend?”

“Derek told me.”

“Oh, right,” he said, shaking his head slightly, his lips twitching downward.

“What does she do?” you asked, unable to curb your curiosity.

“She’s a business major.”

“Ah,” you replied shortly and Sean glanced at you curiously.

“What’s that s’posed t’mean?” he asked, amusement tinging his voice.

“Nothin’,” you teased, grinning over at him.  “Just sounds boring to me,” you answered honestly.  How much do you even have in common? you wondered, not voicing that query.

“Honestly… kinda,” Sean chuckled, rolling his shoulders.

“Doesn’t she know about… this?” you asked hesitantly, gesturing to the stolen items at your feet.

“This?” Sean yelped incredulously, turning back into the valet lot.  “No, she doesn’t know about this,” he answered tensely.

“So… what now?” you asked, sensing Sean’s discomfort at your question and quickly changing the subject.

“Now… now we stow the stuff in our cars and go meet back up with Derek.”

“So, how did baby’s first run go?” your friend asked cheekily when you returned, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet in his excitement, wearing a shit eating grin as he dodged your punch aimed at his bicep.

“She did good,” Sean answered before you could, and the compliment took you by surprise, filling your face with warmth.

“See, what I tell you?” Derek exclaimed.

——

Before you knew it a couple months had flown by and you were making runs by yourself now; you, Sean, and Derek doing fairly well for yourselves with your little side business.  Sure, there were nights when you came back nearly empty handed, but it beat not working at all, and the money from the valet stand was enough to get by on.  Besides, the best part was getting to hang out with your friends every night.  During that time, you’d grown rather close to Sean, the two of you beginning to spend more time together outside of work.

“You really need to find a new place,” you laughed as you plopped down at one of the plastic chairs flanking Sean’s tiny table.

“Wha—?  What’s wrong with it?” Sean exclaimed, feigning offense as he took the chair across from you and passing you the lit joint between his fingers, his lips twitching into a bemused grin as he watched you.

“What’s wrong with it?” you cried, teasingly, gesturing with your arm toward the wall nearest you.  “There’s fuckin’ holes in your walls!”

“Hey, I patched… most of ‘em!” he countered.  “You’ve gotta admit, it’s got character!”

“Is that what you call it?” you cackled, breaking into laughter as you waved the smoke from your face.  “I suppose it does suit your starving artist aesthetic,” you teased, glancing at him coyly, feeling your cheeks warm as he shared your grin, his long fingers brushing yours as he stole the joint back.

Unable to look away as he brought the joint to his lips and inhaled deeply, your thoughts spiraled, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him as silence fell over the cramped flat.

“So… I have somethin’ I need to confess,” Sean spoke up, jolting you from your thoughts and you quickly tore your eyes from his mouth.  “I was a little worried when Derek suggested bringin’ you onto th’team,” he admitted, not quite meeting your eyes.  “But honestly, it’s been one of th’best things we’ve done,” he said, flicking the line of ash from the end of the dwindling joint.

“Oh yeah?” you asked, arching a curious brow at him.  “Why were you worried?  Thought I’d be a liability?” you half teased.

“Yeah, kinda,” Sean answered sheepishly, causing you to snort, laughter bubbling from your lips to lighten the room.  

“Can’t say I blame you,” you admitted, taking another hit as he offered it to you.  “Did Derek ever tell you why he trusts me so much?” you asked, glancing over to catch Sean’s eye.

“He didn’t, but I figured there had t’be a reason for his unwavering confidence though,” he said, his words making you smile.

“When we were in middle school,” you begin, settling in to recount your story, leaning back against the wall behind you.  “Derek and I weren’t bad kids, per se, I mean, not like his brothers, but we did get into trouble from time to time.  There was one day, we were graffiting the side of a rail car down by the tracks, y’know, just a little harmless vandalism,” you said, your lips curling wryly.  

“Well, apparently there was a cop nearby and he caught sight of us.  So we threw our spray cans down and made a break for it.  We probably would’ve gotten away but I tripped over one of the tracks, and busted my knee open,” you explained, shaking your head.  “I told Derek to go on without me cause we had some stolen shit in our pockets from earlier and I didn’t want him t’get in trouble for it too.”

“What happened?” Sean asked.

“He didn’t like it, but Derek took off like I told him to and I let the cop catch up to me so he’d have a chance to get away.”

“But he’d seen Derek?”

“Yeah, from a distance, but I just kept denying there was anyone else with me, so there wasn’t really anything they could do about it,” you shrugged.

“You took th’fall and kept him outta juvie?”

“Mhmm.”

“No wonder Derek trusts you,” he murmured, awe in his voice.

“I don’t rat on my friends,” you said simply, crushing the rest of the blunt out in the ashtray between you.

Sean nodded before you heard his stomach growl loudly.  “Oh shit, I’m starvin’,” he groaned, holding his belly as you descended into laughter, holding your own gut.  “You want somethin’?  I think I have some frozen chicken strips or somethin’ in here,” he mused, getting up to check the icebox.

Following him over to the tiny kitchen, you peered in the freezer with him.  “Chicken strips sound bomb.”

“Grand,” Sean chuckled, pulling the bag out and dumping the contents onto an oven sheet while you turned on the oven and leaned against the counter next to him.

“So… where’s Riley?” you asked, reluctant to bring her up, but it hadn’t escaped your attention that she hadn’t been around much lately.

“Oh, she’s busy with classwork,” he replied, turning to lean against the counter next to you.  “I think she has some big midterm project she’s workin’ on.  Why?”

“I just thought it was weird you hadn’t been hanging out much,” you explained, carefully, realizing how close you were.  “But I’m not complainin’,” you murmured, your hand inching closer to touch his.  “I like spending time with you…”

“I like spendin’ time with you too, [y/n],” Sean mused, slowly leaning closer, as if a spell had fallen over the pair of you, til his breath fanned across your lips moments before they pressed chastely to yours.

Not fighting it, you tangled your fingers in his jumper, pulling him closer as you kissed him back and to your delight his lips moved against yours with a soft moan and you felt the edge of the counter bite into your back.  It was as if all the tension between you had finally come to a head—every coy little glance and furtive touch, all the inside jokes and nights spent texting late into the morning hours were finally leading where you’d hoped.

Moaning in turn as your tongue sought his, Sean suddenly tensed, the bubble bursting as he pulled away.  “What are we doin’?” he exclaimed breathlessly, running his hands through his hair.  “I can’t do this—“

“Why not?” you asked desperately, though you already knew the answer.  “Sean, I-I really like you, and I think you feel the same way, that kiss obviously proved that—“

“I—” Sean hesitated, his face clearly conflicted. “—but Riley,” he exclaimed, shaking his head, his curls shivering.  “I love her, I can’t do this t’her.”

“You can’t even be honest with her!” you cried, the words bursting from you, unable to hold them back any longer.  “You’re afraid to tell her about what you do because you know she’d judge you for it!”

For a moment Sean blinked at you, his mouth hanging open as if unable to come up with an argument.  “You… you don’t know anything about it,” he snapped finally, setting his face.  “I think you should probably leave, [y/n].”

His words felt like a slap to the face and you staggered backward.  “Y-yeah… I’ll—” The hushed words died on your tongue and you stumbled toward the door, looking back at him as you stepped out into the blinding daylight outside.  Sean wouldn’t even look at you.

Had you just fucked up beyond repair?

------------------

Tag List: @magic-multicolored-miracle​ @santacarlahorrorshow​ @messengeronthemoon​ @the-freckled-luba​ @firstpersonnarrator​ @phoenixhits​ @super-unpredictable98​ @spanishmossmagnolia​ @salvador-daley​ @forenschik​ @a-ghoulish-tale​ @love-is-dirty-baby​ @vonkimmeren​ @darkheartbrightsmile @violetrainbow412-blog​ @bellelittleoff​ @simsiddy​ @duck-noises​

[g-on-ef]

Hey is it possible to ask for Striker being extra protective over 8 month pregnant Blitz?

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Anon 2: Hellos I was hoping you still did prompts because I would Love to see one of Striker being over protective of a heavily pregnant Blitz if possible

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A/N: Since these two prompts are relatively the same I decided to combine them together ^^ hope you guys enjoy it ^^ also sorry for being MIA I wasn't feeling good but today is a good day ^^ my boys got a number 1 on Billboard for a second week ^^

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Month 1

Finding out he was pregnant was the scariest thing to ever happen to him, seriously knowing that there was a new life growing inside him was scaring him shitless, what made it worse was he wasn't sure how to tell the baby's father.

After vomiting out his lunch in his and Striker’s bathroom Blitz began to think what to do next.

It's not like Striker would leave him or anything, he was just scared that he wouldn't want the baby or worse would leave him once he finds out he was pregnant.

It was weird to think like that since he has shown time and time again what an amazing father he is, than again Loona wasn't a little kid nor was she a baby so maybe that's why it was easier for him to be a parent to her than it would be an actual baby.

Blitz leans against the bathroom wall as he thinks about what to do, lying to Striker was out of the question, the man knew Blitz better than anyone and knew when he was lying so there was no point in doing it.

Maybe he could avoid Striker...who was he kidding he could barely go a day without his beloved no way he was gonna be able to go nine months without him.

Blitz curled into a ball and wrapped his tail around himself. No avoiding him won’t work. Maybe he could ease him into letting him know he’s pregnant like letting him know by dropping hints and let him figure it out himself.

"Blitz?"

The city imp jumped a little as he turned to see Striker approach him.

"Loona told me you were, whoa are you okay?" Striker stared at his beloved who was curled in a ball and face was a little paler than it should be.

“Umm...well...you see...” 

Striker approached the city imp he placed his hands on his forehead and checked his temperature.

“You seem a little warmer than usual but nothing a bowl of soup can fix,”

“I’m pregnant!” so much for easing him into the news.

Striker stare at his beloved for a good minute.

The silence was making Blitz a little uncomfortable, he wasn’t sure if this was him trying to find the words to say something sarcastic or him to try and find the words that he didn’t want the baby without upsetting Blitz.

“If...if you don’t want the baby your more than welcome to leave, I won’t stop you,”

That seem to snap Striker out of his trance.

“Not want the-Blitz are you crazy?”

Blitz shrugged his shoulders, Striker just stare at his mate and saw how scared he looked, Striker didn’t blame him, he probably thought Striker didn’t want the baby since he was...silent...

“Oh, shit Blitz,” he grabbed the smaller imp and placed him on his lap Blitz curled himself against Striker as his cowboy began to stroke his cheek.

“Oh baby, I was quiet because I was trying to think of ways to tell you to get rid of the baby I was just quiet because I am shocked that you and I are gonna have a baby,”

Blitz pulled back a little to stare at Striker,

“So...you’re not gonna leave me and our baby?”

“What? Of course not baby,” he held Blitz closer to his body.

“I would never leave you or our misfit family,”

Blitz smiled as he purred and got closer to Striker. Striker stood up and carried Blitz out of the bathroom and into their own bed.

He tucked him and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“Get some rest my beautiful, you’ll need it, and you,” he began to rub Blitz small tummy.

“You take it easy on your daddy okay?” Blitz smiled as he watch Striker place a kiss on his tummy, maybe things won’t be so bad.

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Month 3

What was Blitz thinking that things wouldn’t be so bad with Striker knowing he was pregnant. 

Seriously Blitz was just 3-months pregnant and Striker baby proof not only their apartment but his office.

There were times he couldn’t find the stapler and whenever he asked Striker he would take the papers and stable them himself.

Blitz was still looking for the damn thing.

He was worse with Moxxie, the poor assassin came rushing in with a pair of scissors and Striker respond with a punch to the face.

He gave the cowboy an earful for that and made him sleep on the couch.

Striker wouldn’t let him do any heavy lifting and while Blitz love being pampered Striker was taking it to far.

He can still lift a stack of papers.

“Ugh, your not even born yet and daddy dearest is already protective of you,”

“SIR!” and there goes Moxxie no doubt being thrown around because he was carrying a glass of soda...again.

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Month six

He was gonna kill Striker, no seriously he was gonna kill him. Loona and Nathan (he’s still surprised that the little imp agreed to join their family with no questions asked) ate all the chips, cookies, and other sugary sweets and process food there was in the kitchen.

“Where the fuck are all my chocolate?!”

“Dad told us we can eat them,” Nathan asked as he munch on some nachos.

“Why the fuck did he do that?!”

“It’s not good for the baby,” Loona said as she finished the last of the soda.

He glared at his two teenage children, the two tagged team with Striker to make sure that no harm came to Blitz or the baby.

Honestly he was beginning to think his family of three where just using the “we are protecting you” excuse to hurt anyone that came near him.

He was still apologizing to Charlie for Loona shooting at her when she was coming to congratulate her brother and was excited for being an aunt.

Not to mention he owed Angel Dust some whisky after Nathan caught him in a trap.

“You didn’t have to eat all of my snacks he whined.

Loona passed him a box of sliced apples and strawberries.

“What the fuck is this?”

“Food that will be good for you and the baby,”

Blitz groan, he was killing Striker when he got back. 

“Hey Blitz-”

Striker felt pain in his groin, he kneeled down and watched as Blitz walked away from him.

“He’s still pissed about his diet?”

His kids nodded their heads as they kept eating Blitz’s junk food.

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Striker maybe protective but he was so sweet like now how he was rubbing his tummy and singing to his tummy,

Moonchild you shine When you rise, it's your time C'mon yo Moonchild don't cry When moon rise, it's your time C'mon yo Moonchild you shine When moon rise, it's your time C'mon yo

Blitz always loved Striker’s voice and hearing it sing to their baby was the best thing for him especially when their little one always calmed down when they heard their daddy’s singing voice.

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Month 8

Blitz held onto his children, someone was in their home, an overlord...and not just any overlord, Valentino, the moth pimp was still pissed at him for refusing to kill an innocent child all because Vox dumped his ass.

He, Loona, and Nathan were hiding in the closet as Val and his men destroyed his house, he prayed that Striker would return soon from the human world.

The door to the closet opened and Val stood there with a wide grin.

“Found you,”

He brought Nathan and Loona closer to his body while both teenagers wrapped their arms around Blitz’s stomach in an attempt to protect his belly.

“You know Blitz you shouldn’t have refused me, if you didn’t maybe your sweet family wouldn’t be harm.

His eyes landed on Loona,

“Oh yes, your little hellhound would make a fine addition to my collection,” Loona growled as Blitz held her closer.

Val’s eyes landed on Nathan,

“The little imp boy and the thing inside you will definitely serve my clients really well,” Nathan whimpered as Blitz growled at him.

“Touch my kids and I’ll kill you,”

Val laughed.

“You? Kill me? now how could you possibly do that?”

A loud bang could be heard in the house making the family sigh in relief.

“What the fuck?” 

Before Val could turn around Striker began to stab him with a holy blade.

The moth demon howl in pain as the knife was stabbed inside of him repeatedly Striker stabbed the moth multiple times, he didn’t stop, not until he was certain the moth was dead.

Once he saw that the demon was reduce to ash he turned to his family.

Opening his arms his children and Blitz ran to him. He wrapped his arms and tail around them, thanking La Santa Muerte that his family was okay and nothing bad happened to them.

He checked them all one by one stroking their faces, checking to see if there was a scratch on them or not hugging them close to his body.

He rubbed Blitz’s tummy and bend down to kiss it.

“Are you okay Blitz?”

“Yeah, we’re fine, don’t worry about us,”

Striker just hugged his family Blitz purred and was thankful that Striker came to save them than again, he knew Striker and knew that his mate would always be there to protect him, their teenage children, and their unborn baby.

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A/N: So what do you guys think? remember if you have any Striker and Blitz Prompts send them my way ^^ I will be posting more as week goes by ^^ GoNEF out ^^ and remember Armys to stream butter !!!

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[phoenixblack89]

Secret Crushes

My second one shot is pure filth. Gotta warn ya. Might make a sequel... Dunno... But the lovely Travis is getting one next.... Then that amazing bad boy Mac.

@lilythemadqueen @fandomsaremykryponite enjoy sweeties!

Warning: Pure smut. Feels. Arsehole sibling. Underage drinking.

Fuck knows how many words this is cos ain't got a clue.

Edit: I've fixed the fucking errors I saw and added some to it. And got the read more to work! Yus! Enjoy sweetums

PART 2 Part 3

The party was in full swing and you hated it. Why your older sister had insisted on throwing a wild party while your parents were away was beyond your understanding. Must be a cool girl thing you thought as you wandered down the stairs to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. The house was packed to bursting with her friends and their friends. Hell, you're sure some of the teenagers weren't even from your town, not recognising the vast majority. Word of mouth had turned it from a small party for her classmates into a full on rave.

Sighing you pushed your way through to the kitchen your mother would no doubt be dismayed at seeing at the moment. Your mother was somewhat house proud and the kitchen was her pride and joy. Never ever letting dishes pile up in the sink, the shiny chrome polished within an inch of its life. You secretly couldn't wait for the fallout in the morning when they got back and saw the spilled alcohol, cigarette butt's and various other less savoury things spread from the party. Your sister was in soooo much trouble.

"Watch it fat bitch!"

You grit your teeth at the oh so creative insult as you shoved the jerk away from you. He glared down at you from his 6 foot height.

"What's an ugly fuck like ye even doing here?"

"I live here arsehole." You spat back, shouldering your way past and out the back door. Taking a deep breath you wandered the gravel path down to your secret escape at the bottom of the garden, hoping no one had tried to get in. Smiling as the old barn came into sight you felt the tension ease. As you neared you slowed, hearing two distinct and familiar voices. Your mouth suddenly felt drier as your heart pounded.

"Oh Connor!" Your sister moaned and you froze. 

She wouldn't... Would she? 

She knew you had a somewhat strong crush on the elder MacManus brother. His blue eyes and kind smile making butterflies in your stomach every time you saw him. Tears sprang to your eyes at her betrayal and you hurried your steps past the barn, hearing her shriek in shock. Connor and her eyes following you as you stormed past.

"Sis!"

"Fuck off Sara! Get back to the party!" You called after her, as you broke the treeline at the edge of the property. Tears fell slowly and silently as you pulled out a crumpled and almost empty packet of cigarettes. You slipped suddenly and fell head first down the bank to the stream running at the bottom of the hill. A shriek escaped as you braced for the very cold and surely sudden dip. You stopped quickly and waited for the impact against the icy water but it didn't come. Opening one eye you realised you were being held up by a pair of strong arms. A deep breath of relief came from you as the arms set you down on the ground gently.

"Ye alright?"

Your head turned and you gave a weak smile. Murphy's eyes were lined in pink hues, almost as if he, himself, had been crying like you.

"Could ask you the same."

"Aye... Just... Connor ye know."

"Yea... Sara."

He bit his lip and offered you a cigarette. You took it and shuffled to sit beside him. You both smoked and cried silently together. Both content to not mention the fact you were crying to the other, taking the comfort from each others pain and not judging.

"Older siblings, am I right?" You tried to joke, wiping at your eyes. "They sure know how to hit a sore spot."

"Connor's younger than me." Murphy laughed, wiping at his own cheeks. You smiled weakly and shrugged.

"Here's me thinking ya were twins."

"Aye... But I'm older. Fuckin' bastard knew I liked her as well." He sighed and ran his hand through his shaggy dark hair. You nodded and flicked your cigarette into the water, watching silently as it floated away.

"Yea... My sister she... Erm... She knew I liked Connor. Well... Was..... Damn... That I had a bit of a crush on him... Sorry."

"Yea? Bitch. Ain't a good sister doing that when she knew ye liked him" Murphy said, wrapping his arm around your bare shoulders at the shiver that ran you with the cold. He smiled as you wrapped yours around his lower back. "What a pair we make, eh? Our siblings are over there fuckin' like rabbits and here we are wishing it was us instead"

"Nah. We know better... Sara is just a bitch and Connor... He'll soon learn she's one too."

"Yea? What about you? Don't think I caught ya name lass?"

"Y/N. Everyone called me other things though." You gulped, biting your lip and giving a shaky sigh.

"Oh aye? What's that then?" He smirked at you, thinking it was some cute nickname.

"Mostly fatty, bitch, ugly... I'm not pretty or slim like Sara and I get why Connor would see her before me. She's everything I'm not."

"I... I don't... You are pretty. And so what if ye not some skinny bitch... I like ye and any one who can't see how amazing ye fuckin' are don't deserve ye time." He smiled sweetly down at you, his fingers grazing under your chin to make you look at him as you ducked your head.

"Thanks. But that's not true."

"Course it is! I say it is! And I always, always tell t' truth." He smirked, puffing out his chest. You giggled and shook your head. You leaned your head against his shoulder and sighed.

"I just wish someone would see me for me... And not what they always see. Fat ugly little bitch... Wish he'd of seen me..."

"He ain't worth ye time."

"She's not worth yours..."

"Aye. I see that now." He shuffled down to lay on his back, pulling you with him and smiled.

You lay in quiet contemplation for a while, the distant sounds of creaking wood and stifled moans making both your hearts ache.

"We should go get a drink! Drown our sorrows." You suggest, despite being not keen on alcohol. Murphy laughs and sits up, reaching into the pocket of his coat and pulling out one of your dad's whiskey bottles.

"Damn. Read my mind lass." He smiled and opened the bottle, gulping it down without a grimace before handing it to you. You choked down a mouthful and smacked his chest lightly as he snorted at you.

"I'm not a big drinker like you MacManus!"

He smirked and leaned over you so your faces were mere inches apart, a smirk curving the right side of his lips upwards.

"Aye... What else ain't ye big on then?"

"What?! What the fuck does that mean?" You feel your cheeks burning in embarrassing red.

"Well... I'm here and ye here.... Thought we could forget our sorrows another way... If ye up fer it?"

"You mean... In.... What way? I mean... I... Fuck" 

You sound like a fucking fool, stumbling over your words as his hand draws patterns along your waist slowly. Biting his lip he closes the distance between you and his lips meet yours. It's different to how you imagined your first kiss to be. You always imagined it to be a burning passionate, uncontrolled thing but this was soft, unurgent and gentle, sending a thrill of something to your core.

"How old are ye anyway, lass?" He asked, pulling away suddenly. You bit your lip and avoided his eyes until his finger brought your face to his once more. "I don't wanna get in trouble..."

"I just turned 18... You?"

"19... You... Have ye ever done this before?" His blue eyes searched yours for a moment before he sighed.

"No... But... I... I... Want to... If... If you want to leave you can. I won't stop you. I get most guys don't want someone so inexperienced."

Murphy glanced around for a moment, seeming to decide on the right course of action before slugged his long leather jacket off and laying on the ground beside you. He nudged his head to the side, your eyebrows creasing in confusion. He gave a smile and a chuckle before lifting your hips and sliding you on top of his jacket. His lips find yours again as soon as you shift yourself over on to his jacket fully and you wrap your arms around his neck. Gasping slightly as his hand drifts under your shirt and traces along your ribs. Pulling back slightly you take in his eyes, now darken with needful desire. He kisses your cheek softly and runs his palm upwards slowly and bits his lip, his white teeth shining brightly against their rose hue.

He licks his bottom lip as he tugs your shirt upwards and lowers his head to kiss along your stomach, you squirm in embarrassment. You hate the extra fat that gathered along your stomach and hips. His head raised to your face and he sighed.

"Ye beautiful lass. Every single inch..."

"Don't... I know its not true." You reply, tears coming to your eyes again in frustration. Anger at yourself for the lack of control you have over your own eating habits. You comfort ate, it was a habit nothing seemed to break you of. Murphy kissed you gently again and gazed down into Y/E/C eyes softly. His thumb running along your cheek softly.

"Told ye. Always tell t' truth. Believe me... Ye beautiful... Absolutely... Beautiful." He whispered between giving you soft kisses along you jawline and down your neck. You moaned as he kissed a sensitive spot. He smirked against your skin and focused on that one spot, sucking, licking and grazing it with his teeth. His hand reached under your shirt and stroked gently over the chubby plains of your torso to your chest.

A sharp gasp released from your mouth as his fingers ran along the edge of the unattractive sports bra you wore. Smirking against your collarbone he slipped his fingers inside and tweaked your nipple. A flood of arousal dropped into your panties and you moaned, arching upwards into his touch.

"Ye like that lass? Feel good, aye?"

You nodded and pulled his lips to yours. He groaned, your hips bucking upwards into his at the sensations he was causing to rush through you.

He pulled away and leaned back onto his knees, his hand running down your body to your covered core. He licked his lips and glanced at you as he ran a finger along your jeans button. Nodding at him, he smiled and flicked it open before dragging the zipper down slowly. His hands slipped inside and tugged them down over your hips as you bit your lip in nervousness.

You sat up slightly and reached for his belt, eyes boring into his blue ones as you pulled his belt from his jeans, tossing it to the side carelessly and reaching for the waistband. Shuffling slightly he helped you ease them down over his hips before laying you both down again. Only your underwear separating the heat of your bodies as he kissed you passionately, his hips rocking slowly into yours. Your hands found their way into his hair and tugged slightly as you both began panting at the friction of your hips. Your underwear was damp with your slick.

"Are ye sure ye want this lass?" Murphy panted into your mouth as his hand reached between you to cup your wet core, rubbing it hard causing you to gasp and squirm under him to get more pressure, more friction, more... Something, you didn't know.

"Please... Murphy..."

"I got ye lass." He whispered as his finger reaching under the elastic of your plain cotton underwear and ran through the folds of your dripping core. His fingers slid into you as his thumb found the bundle of nerves at the centre of your thighs. Rubbing his thumb in smooth, lazy circles he kissed against the spot he'd sucked a dark mark onto on your neck. His pants and moans echoing loudly in your ear as his fingers thrust in and out of you in time of his circling thumb. Your heart sped up and pounded against your ribs as a totally new sensation began building in your gut. "Cum fer me beautiful."

It felt like something inside had snapped and your body tensed all over, your legs shaking around Murphy's strong arm, your breath caught in your throat and as sudden as it began, it ended and you felt yourself more relaxed than you could ever remember being before. 

"Good girl."

"Fuck... Murphy..."

He raised his head and smiled cockily down at you. He bought his hand out of your underwear and raised it to his mouth. You could see the glint of your moisture coating his long, graceful fingers in the weak starlight as he began to lick and suck his fingers clean. Your jaw​ fell open at that sight. You had heard of people doing it but to see someone do that, and with your juices no less, caused a rush of shame and desire to course through you.

His face lowered to yours once more and he smirked against your ear.

"Maybe next time... I'll lick this delicious pussy out..."

"Murphy..." You gasped, feeling slick pooling once more.

"Aye lass?"

"Please..."

He kissed you once more, hands finding the waistband of your underwear and gently lowering them down and gazing down at your core. Your legs closed in shame as your cheeks heated. He chuckled and pushed them apart again and studied you intensely.

"Fuckin' perfection."

He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his wallet, fishing out a condom and ripping it open with his teeth. His eyes found yours as he shuffled out of his boxers and grasped his hard thick cock in one hand, pumping it up and down for several moments, his eyes never leaving the sight of your bared core. He rolled the condom down his cock and leaned over you once more.

"Are ye absolutely sure beautiful?"

"I'm sure Murphy." Your voice replied, an edge of nervousness obvious in the way your voice sounded so quiet and wavered slightly. He smiled and kissed you, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you felt his cock brush against your mound as he positioned himself between your thighs.

His tip ran along your slit as he guided it and you gasped at the foreign feeling. His eyes held yours as he slowly pushed into you. A sharp cry of pain came from you and your body tensed under him. He reached for your hand, which was clawing at the fabric of his coat and grasped it in his own. Holding himself still and steady until you adjusted. You nodded slightly as his lips ran along your cheek, kissing away the tears that had slipped from your eyes. His cock inched slowly deeper into your unexplored pussy and he paused again to look you in the eye, making sure you were okay with each slow thrust.

"Ye alright?"

"Hmmhummm." You replied, gritting your teeth as you felt the burning grow sharper as he inched forward more. He gave a groan and shook with restraint. His heart was pounding in his ears at the feeling of your tight cunt squeezing his cock. He had never been with a virgin and but knew from Connor's numerous boasts that they felt tighter than anything else. He was by no means a virgin himself and was determined to make this a pleasurable experience for you. 

Even if it killed him.

He gave a loud moan as he finally bottomed out inside you and kissed you passionately allowing you a moment or two of adjustment. You ran your fingers through his hair over and over as your tongues battled. You felt his cock twitch deep inside you and gasped into his mouth as his thumb once more began circling your clit.

"Murphy please..." You moaned, twitching your hips to encourage him to begin moving. His thrusts were slow and steady against you, taking his time to build until you both were absolutely sure you felt no pain anymore. His hand held one of your thighs around his hip and the other circling your clit, pleasure building slowly for the both of you. Sweet kisses left against each others necks as he began thrusting a little faster with each thrust.

Your back ached up to his chest as he hit a spot inside you that made you feel a sharp jolt of pure bliss.

"Ohhh... Fuckkkk.... Murphy..." You gasped into his mouth as he began aiming for that spot over and over, increasing his circling thumb's speed and pressure. Your toes curled in your boots as you suddenly were blinded by white light and your orgasm ripped through you. A loud shriek of unadulterated pleasure ripped from your throat. Murphy smirked and thrust harder, chasing his own release now he'd made you have a chance to cum over his cock. The walls of your pussy fluttering around his cock and your clit twitching under his thumb. His hair hung around his face in sweat soaked strands and you brushed them away to kiss him, still shaking in post orgasmic bliss. His body tensed against yours and he came, a guttural moan echoing loudly around you. His breaths coming sharp against your neck as he slumped over you and gave a little huff of pleasure.

"Fuck lass. I've never had one like that before."

"Huh... Guess that means it was okay?" You panted, suddenly nervous again. Would he feel satisfied? Did he really enjoy it? Was it good? Were you good?

He pushed himself onto his elbows and kissed you deeply, fucking your mouth with his tongue.

"Beautiful, I ain't ever lettin' ye go! Not after that."

You smiled as you kissed again with a laugh.

"MURPH! WHERE ARE YE?!"

You both froze and looked at each other. Murphy quickly pulled his cock from you, grimacing at the slight splattering of blood on the condom as he pulled it off and pulled his boxers and jeans on as you, too quickly dressed once more. Footsteps and the sounds of snapping twigs coming closer.

"Murph?!"

"Aye! I'm 'ere!" He yelled back as you stood and dusted down his jacket, handing it to him so he could swing it back onto his body. He grabbed your face and planted a sweet kiss on your lips quickly and smoothed down your hair as he gave your cheek a sweet kiss.

"There ye are! Oh..."

Connor paused and glanced between you two with an eyebrow raised.

"What’s going on here then, Murph?" He smirked. Murphy pushed his brother back in the direction of the house.

"I was helping her. She seemed upset. Dunno why though." He glanced over his shoulder at you and winked cheekily. "Kid needed a shoulder t' cry on. That's all."

"That right... Well come on. We best get home before Ma sends t' alarm out. Ye know how Uncle Silas is."

"Aye."

The brothers walked away and you followed slowly, Murphy glancing back over his shoulder at you with a happy but shy smile ghosting his face every now and then. Connor waved goodbye at the door to Sara and blew her a kiss in return to the one she'd blown and you rolled your eyes at the pair. Sara tried to grab your arm as you passed and you shrugged her off, rushing upstairs to your room and locking the door. You went to the window and watched as the twins walked down the drive.

Murphy paused before he left the gate, looked up and smiled widely at you and raised his hand. The streetlight lit his face up and you smiled, giving a small laugh as Connor shoved him ahead with a laugh and a glance upwards. You ducked away from the window quickly and lay on your bed, a ridiculously wide smile bracing your own face as you bit your lip and gave a small laugh.

Maybe tomorrow at school wouldn't be so bad. Not now you had a secret thing going on the darker haired MacManus.

[writtenonreceipts]

Square One Pt 2

I got some ideas and thoughts on the background for the story.  I should have thought about all of that prior to posting but I can be really impatient. Ha.  So bare with me if there do seem to be slight inconsistencies between this and the first chapt.  Also, I am the worst outliner.  I am a discovery writer through and through--just a small warning haha.  

And then as soon as I say I want to write a multi-chapt fic I loose all inspiration and motivation.  story of my life...enjoy anyways...i hope

#

“I hate your boyfriend Manon,” Elide announced as she entered her friend’s living room with a glass of water and bowl of chips.

Manon was seated casually on her couch wine glass in hand and computer already settled on her favorite site to online shop through.

“At least he’s cute,” Manon said half-heartedly.  She took a long sip of her drink as she filtered through her shopping.

In the bedroom, Marion was snuggled with the “puppy” Abraxos and an ipad loaded with cartoons.  It was only Thursday but Elide couldn’t bring herself to announce no more television.  Especially if it meant having a brief moment of solitude with her friend.

“He’s making me be friends with Lorcan Salvaterre,” Elide said.

Manon snorted into her wine and gave a choking cough. “He’s doing what?”

“Apparently neither of our kids have friends,” Elide said.  She paused when a sudden wave of emotion washed over her.  Scowling at herself Elide shook her head.  “Dorian says it would be a good idea for Marion and Tavish to have playdates, become friends.  So now I have to be friends with Lorcan Salvaterre.”

Cackling madly, Manon threw her head back with a laugh.  The woman seemed to be enjoying this far too much.

“It’s not funny,” Elide growled.

“Oh yes it is,” Manon said. “Especially if we get a repeat of the fourth of July."

Manon may have found it hilarious, but Elide was struggling more and more to hold back on the emotion building in her chest. When Elide didn't reply, however, Manon went quiet which of course only made it harder for Elide to hold back her tears.

"Lide," Manon said in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

"It's fine," Elide insisted. She brushed furiously at her eyes. "I'm fine."

She didn't have to look at Manon to know that her best friend was about to call her a liar when the front door to the apartment opened and Dorian entered.

"Hey babe," he called out before he saw Elide. "And babe."

"No," Elide said, "you shouldn't call me that."

Dorian grinned before making his way to the kitchen and grabbing a beer for the fridge. "Where's the menace to society?"

"You're child?" Manon asked quirking a brow.

"It's a dog, and it's a demon," Dorian replied.

"Uncle Dorian!"

Dorian managed to turn just in time before Marion attacked Dorion, nearly sending him toppling over. Abraxos, a rescue pit bull with half a missing ear and plenty of battle scars scampered into the room to join the attack on Dorian.

It was enough chaos that Elide was able to forget her earlier rise in emotions and laugh as Dorian struggled to keep his feet and beer.

"Where was my hello this afternoon?" Dorian exclaimed with a laugh. He managed to put his beer up on the counter and scoop Marion in his arms.

"You're a teacher, I can't know you," Marion said.

Elide and Manon leaned into each other laughing heavily while Marion dictated all the reasons why she had to ignore him.

"And you're old," Marion concluded.

"I love your daughter," Manon said as she finished her glass of wine.

Elide couldn’t help but agree.  She watched contentedly as Dorian accepted Marion’s help in getting dinner together.  The unspoken agreement of the Havilliard-Blackbeak household was that Manon did none of the cooking.  And Elide was in full support of it.  She’d tried Manon’s cooking before and it hadn’t been great.

It wasn’t much later when Marion had finally collapsed from exhaustion on her mother’s lap and was in a peaceful slumber.

Dinner had consisted of grilled cheese and soup, both of which Marion declared were her two favorite things.  Ever.  Another reason that Elide decided Dorian was one of her favorite humans.  If he could get her daughter to eat something without complaining, he could do anything.

“Do you need us to watch her?” Dorian asked as he settled onto the couch beside Manon.

It took Elide too long to really grasp what Dorian had asked and remember what day it was.  “Can you tomorrow night?  They have me on a closing shift.”

“Of course,” Manon said immediately.  She tucked her head back against Dorian’s chest and nodded encouragingly.

“I can always Aelin too, I don’t want to bother you and Dor--”

Dorian cut her off. “You’re never bothering us.”

Elide could only nod.  There was an unspoken invitation lingering behind Manon’s words.  An invitation that Elide would never accept.  She couldn’t.  Maybe she was too stubborn, but there was something about accepting the help--the charity that she knew she would never get over.  Besides, Manon and Dorian had already done more than enough for Elide.  More than she would ever be able to pay them back for.

“We should probably go,” Elide said, running her fingers through Marion’s hair. “It’s a school night.”

“I’ll pick up Marion so you can go straight to work,” Manon offered.

“That would be great,” Elide agreed.  She carefully pulled Marion into her arms and stood. “I can give you money for pizza or something.”

“Hell no,” Dorian said. “We’re making our own pizza tomorrow.”

“We are?” Manon asked doubtfully.  “You remember what happened the last time we did that?”

“Well this time the damn dog won’t get on the counter and eat all the cheese,” Dorian said.

Manon grinned slyly at him. “You love that damn dog.”

“Not as much as I love you,” Dorian replied.

Elide let out a groan and moved to the door before they started jumping on each other. “You two are disgusting.”

Manon cackled loudly and jumped up to follow Elide to the door. “Love you, Elide.  I’ll text you when I pick her up from school.”

Elide flashed one more grateful smile to Manon before hurrying out to her car, Marion still deeply asleep in her arms.

#

“So,” Rowan said with a deep frown, “Havilliard’s making you and Lochan be friends?”

“Our kids,” Lorcan said.

Rowan shrugged and leaned against the kitchen counter of Lorcan’s place.  In the living room a cartoon was playing and Tavish was yelling along to it--something with power rangers or something of the sort.

“I still can’t believe the two of you have kids,” Rowan said. “I thought she went off to play soccer at Wendlyn University.”

“So did I,” Lorcan said.

He could remember the day she told him about her plans.  She’d said she was going to get the hell out of Terrasen and never look back. That no one was going to stop her.  Lorcan remembered that was the day he realized that he kind of loved her.  They were only seventeen and Lorcan was always in awe of her spitfire nature and her passion for life.  Even when her uncle tried to break her continually.

“I didn’t think she’d ever come back here,” Lorcan added, “let alone stay here.”

Not after what had happened near the end of their senior year.  What he’d said.  What he’d done.  But Lorcan pushed that thought aside.  Thinking about the past had never done him any good.

“Dad?” Tavish poked his head into the kitchen and blinked up at his father innocently. “Can we go visit Momma tomorrow?”

Lorcan looked at his son, confused.  It wasn’t completely an out of the ordinary request, but strange nonetheless.

“Of course, bud,” Lorcan said, “but you know your momma wants you to go to bed on time.”

Tavish’s eyes widened to an impossible size before he nodded sullenly and dashed through the kitchen to his room.

“How has he been?” Rowan asked quietly as Tavish began slamming drawers in his room to get ready for bed.

“He was barely three when she died,” Lorcan said, “it’s been what?  Four years?”

“Yeah but if he’s being distant in school to the point that the principal--” Rowan began, but Lorcan scowled at him.

“Havilliard’s an ass,” Lorcan said, “and is just looking for something to do.”

“Lor,” Rowan said softly, “you know he’s right.”

Lorcan sighed heavily as Tavish dashed back out of his room to the bathroom.  The water turned on and the brief sounds of brushing filled the silence.  Tavish skidded back into the kitchen, his shirt was on inside out and his pants were pulled on unevenly so the left leg was bunched around his knee and the right flopped over his foot.

“Uncle Rowan,” Tavish said “can we go to the park with Fleetfoot on Saturday?  Aelin said we could.”

“Maybe on Saturday, my man,” Rowan said, he flashed Lorcan a look, “I hear your dad has plans for you on Saturday.”

Tavish cast Lorcan a long look that could easily be interpreted as uncertain and disbelieving.

“Marion’s mom invited us to play soccer on Saturday,” Lorcan explained.  Though he tried, Lorcan couldn't quite hide the grin when Tavish smacked a hand on his head.

“Marion doesn’t even like rocks or worms dad,” Tavish said. “Why do I hafta be friends with her?”

“Because friends are good for you,” Lorcan replied.  It was the worst explanation imaginable and Tavish fixed him with a look that was so obviously exasperated and reminded Lorcan so much of himself that he actually laughed out loud. “Besides, it’ll be fun.”

Taish let out a loud groan and slumped off towards his room.

“I’ll tuck you in in a minute, bud,” Lorcan called after him.

“Good luck with that,” Rowan said under his breath.

“I’m not looking forward to the teenage years,” Lorcan agreed.

Rowan grinned and shook his head before heading out for the night.  It was a regular thing that Rowan or any of their other friends would drop by at any given time.  Lorcan had decided long ago that he would have an open door policy with his friends and Tavish.  His home was a safe place.  No matter what, Lorcan would make sure his son didn’t have the same childhood he did.  

As Lorcan entered Tavish’s room he helped pile the blankets on the bed, making sure they were tucked sufficiently.  He also had to make sure the stuffed animals were all properly arranged as well.

“Marion’s weird dad,” Tavish said as Lorcan brushed his hair back. “She brought her stuffed animal to school.”

Lorcan shook his head, deciding not to remind Tavish that he’d defended Marion’s choice.  Instead he posed a question.  “What’s wrong with being weird?  Everyone’s a little weird.”

Tavish sighed and squirmed in the bed, getting comfortable. “I dunno.  No one really talks to her.”

“Sometimes talking to people is hard,” Lorcan said.  He knew Elide had been the same way in High School, always quiet, always careful.  Until you got to know then the dam would burst and insanity would ensue.  Lorcan smiled softly and leaned over to press a kiss to Tavish’s forehead. “You don’t have to be friends with her if you really don’t want to.  But just try this weekend okay?”

Tavish nodded slowly.  “Fine.”

“Good,” Lorcan said.  “Do you want to read something tonight?  We can finish that Spider-Man comic?”

“No s’alright,” Tavish said with a yawn.  “G’night daddy.”

Lorcan kissed his son once more and stood.  He made it to the door before Tavish spoke again.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Lorcan said as he turned off the light and headed off to bed.

#

as always, thank-you thank-you thank-you for reading/commenting/reblogging. 

I have bits of the next chapter ready, hopefully by next weekend it’ll be done...

tags: Using my general TOG taglist and specific requests for this fic. Let me know if I missed you.

@tottenhamboys20 @morganofthewildfire  @aelinchocolatelover @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx  @bamchickawowow @bri-loves-sunflowers @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln

[drethanramslay]

Voicemails (Part 2)

Pairing: Ethan X MC

Word count: 6.3K words (damn that's a record)

Catch up here.

MASTERLIST

Taglist: @miyakokurono​ @trappedinfandoms​ @openheart12​ @sekizincimektup​ @junggoku​ @ethandaddyramsey​ @edith-eggs1​ @pixelberryownsme​ @samihatuli​ @loveellamae​ @x-kyne-x​ @paulfwesley​ @zeniamiii​ @binny1985​ @an-urban-witch-ig​ @ramseyegerton​ @noboundariesplease​ @mrsdr-ethan-ramsey​ @newcolonies​ @theodorepjames4 @unluckygs​ @choices-love-affair​ @kaavyaethanramsey​  @caseyvalentineramsey​ @ohramsey​ @virtualrain202 @squishywizardhq​  @junehiratas​ @lilyvalentine​ @nooruleman​ @itsgoingnuts​  @agent-breakdance​ @jamespotterthefirst​ @choicesfanaf​ @humanpokemon​ @temptress-of-death-and-desire​ @ac27dj @rookiefromedenbrook @gaiusimp @theeccentricbibliophile  @oofchoices @hatescapsicum @sanchita012 @edgiestwinter @fabi-en-ciel @mrsdrakewalkerblog @elwetritsche75 @livingpurpose @theraisingrail @drramseysownsme @queencarb​ @andromedasinclaire​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​ (if you want to be added to the taglist, let me know ☺️)

Special thanks to @kittykatchoices​ you are awesome <3

Songs: Based on Rock Bottom by Caro and I have added a few more songs to my playlist which you should hear to enhance the experience.

Forgive me if I make any mistakes

DAY 36 (in Boston, Massachusetts)

Leah trudged down the hallway, sipping on her umpteenth energy drink in that day. Her eyes were trained on the chart in her hand, struggling to read them.

Everything looked bleary from the lack of sleep and her eyes were burning under the glare of the clinical lights. Her entire body was begging for rest but it was as if a switch had been flipped in her brain to ignore it. She ignored her thoughts, her feelings and the ever growing void in her chest.

So is this is how vampires feel, huh? Leah questioned herself, snorting at the poor attempt of a joke. Doing that caused her body to pain.

Pain.

That's all she felt these days. It was initially the pain of a heartbreak and rejection but now, it was just tiredness from the burden of her emotions.

Look at me now... From sunshine I have become a shadow...

Why Ethan?

Why?

Leah was the kind of person who always made fun of the naive girl in a rom-com. Her definition and perspective of love had changed when her mother cheated on her father. She did not shun the idea of being in love, but she was still kind of sceptical about it.

And now that she had a taste of it, she was addicted.

She knew that Ethan returned her feelings. She was not blind and oblivious like him. She could see it in his ocean eyes when they stared from across the room. She could hear it whenever he called her 'sunshine'. She could feel it when his arms wrapped around her as she breathed in his musky cologne, with hints of scotch in it.

They say love is a drug but that's not true.

Ethan is her drug and she craved him.

"Hijo de puta." She muttered under her breathe as she ran her hand through her hair, only to feel her shoulder length locks.

She had cut her hair after her birthday. The entire ordeal had destroyed the remaining sanity in her and she couldn't bear to look at herself. Whenever she would see her long hair, she would be reminded of the times when Ethan would play with them and she would get numb all over again.

She craved change so, she went ahead and cut her luscious, black, waist length locks and added highlights to them. It cost her a bomb but she didn't care.

She didn't care...

That was her mantra now.

She just focused on going through the motions of the day, one step at a time. But often, she found herself stumbling into the pit of self doubt and sadness. Leah knew that she was slipping into depression and that she should do something to change it but... It's addicting. The self wallowing is addicting. The numbness is addicting. The self depreciation is addicting.

She avoided her friends as well but they never gave up on her. Bryce would try to crack jokes and make her smile. Elijah would sit with her and play COD so that she could let out all her anger and sadness by killing some bitches. Aurora and Sienna would force her to eat but whenever they weren't looking, she would give her food to Shawty, their fennec fox. They even tried to provide her emotional support but Leah couldn't bear to see the pity in their eyes.

You should count your blessings... Her consciousness nudged her.

The only thing I want to count are the days until I see him.

She felt her phone vibrate and she unlocked it to see the notification but, the photo on her wallpaper made her stop. It made her heart ache.

She had used Ethan's photo as her lock screen. It was one of those many photos she had clicked of him, which Ethan did not find amusing. It was late and she was bored at the medical convention, so she just clicked them for the heck of it. He was annoyed but despite that, he had a small smile dancing on the edge of his lips.

Who would have thought the great Leah would drop down to such low levels of pathetic? She jeered at herself.

Her phone rang again and a name flashed on it. She immediately silenced because she knew that if she were to pick up that call, she would burst into tears.

She had just finished signing her charts when her pager beeped of, signalling that she was being paged by the Chief.

Leah's face scrunched up with confusion as she left the charts at the nurses' station and headed to Dr. Banerji's office.

What did I do wrong? Leah thought to herself as million of thoughts ran through her head, increasing the pounding in her head.

Trying to calm her racing heart she knocked on the open door. Naveen looked up from his desk and a beautiful smile broke on the senior diagnostician's face.

"Ah! Dr. Garcia, come on in. Take a seat." Naveen said with a warm voice as she walked in and took a seat right opposite him. There was a glass facade behind Naveen which overlooked the busy atrium of the hospital.

"You wanted to see me Chief?"

"Yes I did."

"May I know what is it regarding? Because I think that my heart will pop out of my chest with the excessive stress."

Naveen gave a hearty laugh and Leah gave a nervous smile to him.

"No, you haven't done anything wrong. In fact, I am giving you a couple of days of holiday for your hard work."

Leah shook her head and gave a fake smile. "Thank you Chief but... I don't need an off. I love my job and saving lives so no need for this special treatment."

Naveen leaned forward on his table and locked his warm eyes with Leah's tired ones. "You deserve it. It's been brought to my notice, that you have been working way too hard."

Leah sat a little bit more rigid, not liking the message behind the sentence. "Isn't that a good thing? And isn't that what Edenbrook wants from their doctors?"

"Technically yes... But we also want our doctors to not burn out."

She clenched her jaw before speaking. "Chief, I am perfectly fine. I am not burnt out and I have been very proactive. My patients are all stable and breathing, I have been even helping with the ER more, so how is all of that an indicative of me burning out?"

"Leah... I see you as my grand-mentee and I know you well. I am coming from a position of concern for you. I can't have you being sleep deprived and malnutritioned. It's not good for you."

Leah's eyes narrowed. "How do you know I'm malnutritioned? You haven't even seen me since the last three weeks. And don't say that my friend's put forth this concern because I know that I have done a damn good job convincing them that I am okay."

Naveen just gave a sympathetic look and it clicked.

Letting out sharp breath, she looked down and straightened her pencil skirt, trying to distract herself from the gnawing pain and the influx of hope.

"He called you... Didn't he?"

Naveen gravely nodded his head. "Yes he did. Leah... Please take the next four days off. It's an order."

Leah nodded her head and got up, stuffing her hands into her coat, so that she could hide her trembling hands.

"Yes Chief."

She was about to walk out when Naveen called out to her. "Leah... If it's any consolation, he is in a terrible state and misses you too much."

"No... that is no consolation." She said steely, her eyes becoming cold.

"Leah, just trust me. Ethan has had a tough childhood which has forced him to grow up too soon. He has never been a normal kid let alone a normal teenager. When kids his age were chasing love, he was chasing books. That's why he is a walking robot with no sense of emotions.

Leah, since you came into his life, you have woken up the parts of him which he has kept suppressed. You have forced him to stop and feel. And it's been overwhelming for him. So, just be patient with him."

Leah didn't say anything. She just turned on her heels and strode out of the office.

As she walked to the locker room, she clenched her fists. She was totally pissed and the need to punch something was becoming unbearable.

How fucking dare he just control my life?!

She changed out of her clothes and stuffed them angrily into her satchel. She picked up her phone and saw a notification.

(1) message Captain

She read the message and she felt a little happy. She loved her dad and since the entire shit show had started, she missed her family even more.

Speaking of shit show...

He eyes narrowed in on Ethan's contact and the momentary happiness was dissipated, and anger flooded her body. Her shoulders tensed and she clenched the phone even tighter. She pressed on the call icon near his name and picked up the phone to her ear so that she could give him the cursing of his life.

After ringing a couple of time she heard his baritone voice flood through the speaker.

You have reached Dr. Ramsey. I am currently out of the country. If it's urgent, please leave a message.

"Ethan Jonah Ramsey! You are a maldito (damned male)! For a man, you are one maricon (pussy) and I swear as the days pass by I am more convinced that you are a bastardo sin huevos (ball-less bastard)!!

How fuckin dare you, you asshole?! I fucking know that you called Naveen to tell him to give me an off. I don't know weather to dance with joy that you heard my voicemails or to kick you in your balls for not responding.

You need to man the fuck up Ethan because I know that you are so fucking strong. I know it so well."

She panted, anger swirling even more in her chest.

"Ethan you need to stop playing the fucking victim. I know that you have had a tough childhood and that really hurt you... But I didn't have it any easier either. I was bullied through out school and my mom used to pimp the fuck outta me. She even cheated on my dad for five consecutive years till I kicked her out of the house."

Tears stung her eyes as she spoke. "But that did not once break my spirit E. I didn't let the damage of my past define me. I focused on redefining myself and I got rid of my bad habits like smoking weed and drinking every alternate day."

"We all got scars and I know that it hurts sometimes. I am not discounting your pain but, if you continue to let it eat you up baby then you will lose yourself to it. And I don't want that for you.

Ethan... You are such a beautiful soul and such a great man who is deserving of the best things in life. You deserve love and happiness. The only thing which is standing between you and all the good things is... Well you.

Stop punishing yourself. Because that is not only going to hurt you, but also the people around you.

You have been so deep in that vicious cycle that you haven't realised that you are hurting me too..."

She sighed as she looked down on her black converse.

"Ethan, emotions are what make us human... You can't run from them forever.

What we have, is so so beautiful... Just come back to me so that I can show you that... Till then, take care, love you and bye..."

DAY 36 (in Tefé, Amazonas)

"Till the take care, love you and bye..."

You have reached the end of the voicemail.

Ethan brought his phone down, guilt and shame swimming in his blue eyes. He knew that it was a dick move to call her superior and get her to take an off but he couldn't bare to see her get weaker and weaker as the days passed.

And the fact that I am the reason behind her sadness...

Ethan pressed his palms against his eyes and applied pressure so as to push back the tears threatening to spill.

He felt so much shame. It coiled around his chest, slowly tightening, choking him.

He didn't deserve her love and he definitely did not deserve her empathy. He did not deserve her kindness nor did he deserve the compassion that she showered his way. She did not deserve to be treated like a doormat or be fucked over by the mixed signals. If he truly loved her he would leave her behind and move on with his life.

But he is selfish.

He couldn't bear the thought of seeing her in the arms of another man. The thought made him want to punch the closest thing to him. He looked down to stare at the wallpaper of his lockscreen.

It was one of the many impromptu pictures he had clicked of her. Most of the ones he had were when she wasn't looking his way but this one, was one of the rare ones where she stared at the camera. A beautiful dimpled smile stared back at him, her hair covering half of her face.

God, she is beautiful with a divine soul.

I don't deserve her... But I want to be hers...

He took the stationery out and with a heavy heart, proceeded to pour out all his regret and shame on to the coffee stained paper.

DAY 45

After numerous sleepless nights Ethan knew that if he didn't sleep, he would surely collapse.

So bidding his colleagues adieu, he went to the motorcycle parked in the makeshift parking lot.

He had recently learnt how to drive a bike and now he somewhat related to those motorbike junkies.

It was an exhilarating experience. The breeze whistling through his brown wavy hair, the feeling of the sun shining on his face and to hear the roar of Amazon as he rode down the roads was intoxicating.

He felt the most at peace when he rode the bike. The hum of the engine beneath him would lull him into a state of calmness and it's only during those times, his mind would wander to Leah.

He would often think about how much Leah would enjoy pillion riding. He could imagine her having this wide grin on her face and her arms wrapped around his lean waist. He could imagine her hair billowing behind her in wild waves and the sun would make her skin glow with a caramel hue. She would giggle as the wind tickling her face.

These thoughts were what kept him sane, and gave him something to look forward too. He knew that it was ironic but he just couldn't help himself.

It had been a month since he had last seen her and he missed her so much.

The sun had set and Ethan parked his bike near the B&B he was living in. After taking out the keys from the ignition, he climbed the steps leading to the reception. He gave a nod to the receptionist and trudged to his room, tiredness making him hunch as he walked.

As he stepped into his room, he started stripping till he was in his underwear. He headed to the bathroom to get fresh, his body on auto pilot. His brain felt like mush and his eyes were bloodshot red.

I need a scotch... He thought to himself. In the last month, all the pubs and restaurants were closed so he couldn't go anywhere to get a drink. He was stressed and tired, both emotionally and physically.

He sighed and headed to his bed, stark naked. The moment his head hit the pillow, he passed out, slipping into a deep slumber.

He was so deep asleep, that he didn't hear the sound of his phone ringing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunshine streamed through the sheer curtains, illuminating the room in a soft glow. The reflection of the river casted shadows on the walls and the birds chirped a happy tune, to signal the start of a new day.

Ethan started waking up gradually, feeling much better. He felt well rested and his back wasn't killing him anymore. He stretched, the muscles of his abdomen and back, contracting and relaxing, as he got rid of the lingering sleep.

He sat up and his eyes landed on his phone. Picking it up he started checking his notifications as he headed to the washroom to start with his morning chores.

There were a couple from the hospital, updating him about the patients. None of them were dead so that's a good thing. He saw messages from his dad and Naveen but his eyes narrowed in on a particular name.

Leah🌞 (1) voicemail (10) messages

That's new. Ethan mused as he brushed his teeth. He pressed the play button and kept the phone on speaker.

"Heyyyyy Ethannnn." Leah slurred and Ethan's eyes widened.

"What's up duuddddee? How is it hangin' man? It been so long since I have spoken to you and no this...this 'voicemails' don't count because you aren't replying to me."

A short pause followed before Leah spoke up over the music. "Do you hate me? Like I need to know. I need ANSWERS. Am I that revolting that you had to run thousands and hundreds of miles away from me? Is it because I snort when I laugh?"

Her voice cracked towards the end before she snorted.

"You know what? You are one grade A pussy. Yes, you heard me! Inserts the 'Why are you running?' meme. I don't think you would understand that context because you are an anormal. I- I don't understand this running business. I show you affections you run away. I compliment you, you run away. I have sex with you, you run away. Maybe... Maybe I am the dumbass here?

Tbh, I have no fuckin' clue!!

And I am here all alone in this... Dive in bar or whatever the fuck this is, and the guys have just been flirting with me. And they should because I am a motherfucking goddess!! Like have you see my ass? Wait, you have whoops... but the point is, whenever they walk up to me or- or buy me a drink my dumb brain goes on to analyse how they can never compare to you.

So thanks bro, you fucked me up real good!"

Leah laughed so hard and worry churned in his chest.

She blew a raspberry. "Ethan, idk man you suck. Like so bad...or should I say good? I am confusion at this point. When I am sober, I miss you so so much. So I decided why not forget by getting completely and utterly wasted. But... Now I am drunk and I miss you more and none of my friends are here to save me from my phone so sorry, if I said somethings that I meant, 'kay?

I honestly though that loving you would be easy but... I don't feel like loving you anymore. But that's the thing about love... You can fall in love easily, but getting over someone you love could take foreverrrr.

So, don't worry bro. It's not like I am getting over you anytime soon and I am not running away anywhere. Can't say the same thing 'bout you though...

Anyways, it is 3 am and I see Bryce coming... So fuck you man. You missed out on your one shot at love and I hope you be alone for the rest of your life. Peace out, chinga madre!"

The voicemail ended and Ethan stood in shock.

I don't feel like loving you anymore...

You missed your one shot at love...

Those words cut so deep into his heart. It was painful and Ethan had to grip the counter. He could feel his heart shattering and tears threatened to spill. Those words hurt, it felt like a stitch tearing or a punch in the gut.

Ethan was never one to be affected by words. But these ones stung him.

So this is how Leah felt when I ran away...

As Leah says, I am a dumbass.

Ethan reached for the tap and splashed water on his face and wiped his hands before opening the messages.

Leah... I may be an asshole but I will always want to be your asshole.

That come out wrong.

Fuck.

Ethan shook his head and sat on the desk, scratching his beard and thinking of what to write in his response.

DAY 50

Ethan took his stethoscope from his ears and smiled at the child. "You are getting strong Julio."

"So I am killing all the bad germs?" Eyes filled with curiosity looked up at him.

"Yes. You are just like spiderboy, killing all the bad guys."

"It's Spiderman Dr. Ramsey!!" The boy exclaimed.

It's the same thing! But, Ethan knew better than to bring it up. He had learnt his lesson with Leah and her obsession with Marvel.

"Okay, okay, spiderman. Just a another week of rest and medicines and you will beat all of the bad boys like him."

"But the medicine is so yucky..." The 4 year old scrunched his face up and crossed his arms.

"I know the medicines taste bad so I have something for you for being a good boy."

"Really?!" He asked gleefully.

Ethan dug into his coat and took out some lemon candy. "Here Julio."

He squealed and took it. "Thank you!!"

He felt his phone ring in his pocket and he took it out to see. When his eyes landed on the notification, his face morphed into a grin.

Leah🌞 (1) missed call (1) voicemail

"Who is that?" Julio looked over Ethan's hand to look at the phone. Ethan looked at the kid and saw him staring at the wallpaper of his lockscreen.

"That... That is a girl."

"Even I can see that Dr. R." The kid rolled his eyes and studied Leah's picture with utmost concentration. "Is she your wife? Or your girlfriend?"

Ethan choked and covered it up with a cough. "Um... nothing of that sort. She is just a girl, who I miss a lot."

"But she must be something you, no? If you miss her so much?" Brown eyes twinkled as he looked up with innocence in his eye.

"She is my Sunshine." He shrugged as he ruffled Julio's hair. "But enough worrying about me. Be a good kid and don't bother your mama, Julio." Ethan started walking out if the room.

"Sim! Also, luz solar (your sunshine) is so pretty." The boy called out to him.

Don't I know that?

Ethan shook his head, smiling to himself as he walked up to the nurse's station. He disposed his gloves and sanitized his hands before taking his phone out. He walked to the near by supply closet so that he could hear the voicemail without any disturbance.

"Hey Ethan... Well the last voicemail was a disaster, wasn't it?" Leah nervously chuckled over the line.

"Please don't hate me. I tried to apologise through the messages. And I know you read them because I saw the bubble with three dots for half an hour. So, if you think you are sneaky, then you need to work on your skills old man." She chuckled and Ethan chuckled at the comment.

I could never hate you sunshine.

"I am actually doing so much better now. I think I just needed to get wasted... Have a good cry... And curse you out or something. No offense.

I have been listening to so many songs and I relate to them at a spiritual level. Everything sounds like a love song now. It's a real dilemma whether to dance or cry to them.

Also, Sienna has been such a huge help! Naveen told her whatever happened and she is so supportive... We watched trashy romantic movies and ate so much ice cream. My dad also it's going to come in a couple of days so... Maybe he will give me advice?

So things aren't as hopeless as they were a week ago.

I mean, it still hurts but it doesn't rip me apart everyday. I still hate you a little but, my love overpowers it. It's a war everyday but I try to beat down the sadness everyday."

Ethan felt so proud of Leah. She just needs to be reminded how strong she is and she will annihilate all her demons.

"I am gonna be honest... Your tactic of running away isn't going to make my feelings less for you, because absence makes the heart grow fonder. Like right now, I am witnessing Zaid feeding Ines cake. It's their anniversary and they are so in love that I feel like an outsider.

I mean I am in love but, the love of my life isn't here. So... Yeah.. I miss you right now... But, I have a strong feeling that our relationship is a unique kind, Y'know? Our relationship is so deep rooted and emotionally strong, that it can survive numerous storms.

We are so beautiful and so strong together... 

I am just waiting for the day when you realise that E.

And when you realise, I hope you come back to me."

Ethan brought his phone down, heart filled with so much love for this woman. He is aware of the feelings he had for her and he could have said those three words easily. But, deep down he knew he wasn't ready.

He wasn't the man she deserved yet. He had way too many demons of his past and in order to be with her, he had to face them and this time, he would do it the right way.

So with a bitter sweet feeling and courage, he got up and went back to work.

DAY 53

"Doctor, the gymnasium lot of patients are responding positively to the new vaccine." The young intern spoke excitedly.

"That's good. And have we finished the inoculation procedure for ward 314?"

"Yes doctor."

"Excellent work, Dr. Santos." Ethan nodded before looking down at the charts. It was mid afternoon and the sun relentlessly beat down on his back, making his sweat excessively.

He was standing outside the make-shift tent near the gymnasium, going through the charts. He was posted in the hospital, on the other side of the city usually but they swapped him to work at the gymnasium for today.

He could see so much joy and happiness in the recovered patients as they embraced and kissed their loved ones. It was a harrowing period for them and being apart for two months can really be lonely. He saw the young lovers kiss and hug each other tightly.

Will this be me and Leah when I meet her again? Ethan wondered as his eyes dropped down to the sheets of papers in his hand.

"Ethan! Glad you could join us here." Dr. Batra said with a soft smile.

"Hello to you too Dr. Batra."

"I have told you numerous times to call me Neelam. We have worked and fought an epidemic together so you can call me by my first name."

"Sorry Neelam, force of habit I guess."

"How are you since I last saw you? Have you been eating? Have you been sleeping?" She asked, her eyes critically observing him, like a mother does to her child.

Ethan was not familiar with the concept of maternal love. He found it foreign but at the same time, it helped a little in filling the void in his heart.

"Yes Neelam. I have been taking care of myself."

"And how about your, jaanu?"

"Jaanu?" Ethan asked inquisitively as he turned his head to look at her.

"Jaanu in hindi means love of your life." She said with a sly smirk playing on her lips.

"Good god." He groaned and stuffed his face even more into the charts, feeling his cheeks burning up.

"She is fine." He muttered out.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear that."

Ethan narrowed his eyes at her and she just gave a toothy grin. "I said that she is doing fine. As fine as she can be." He felt a tinge of guilt flare up in his chest.

"Ethan... Don't feel guilty. If she truly loves you, she will understand." her face full of empathy.

"That's the problem!! I have been nothing but a fucktard and yet she shows me empathy and loves me unconditionally. I feel so damn guilty and I hate myself for hurting her."

"Ethan, I have said this before and I will say it again. I can see how much you love her but, how will you return all that love if you can't even love yourself?"

"Love myself? Where is that coming from?"

"You put up the 'I don't give a damn about your opinion' vibe but I can see the self hatred in your eyes. Son, you are the thorn in your own path."

"I..." For the first time in a long time, Ethan was rendered speechless.

"Ethan... The first step towards loving someone is loving yourself first. Okay...Imagine that you have a cup. Self love fills half of that cup up and when you find 'the one', it becomes full. It's like a mutualistic relationship, you fill her cup up and vice versa.

Right now, your cup is empty because of the self hatred. And your girl is trying her very best to fill up the void but, she is loosing out on herself while doing that. It's hurting her as well as you."

"So what do I do?"

"You communicate. You talk out your feelings. Have trust in her that when you open up your deepest vulnerabilities, she will accept it and not hesitate to love you. Love is a two way street. You can't expect her to bare her soul if you can't do the same."

"Wow." Ethan's head was full with thoughts.

"Wow indeed."

"Neelam, we should call you the Love doctor."

She gave a tinkling laugh, her dark brown eyes twinkling. "Nah son. I am just a woman who has seen a lot in life."

He was about to respond when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He dug his phone out and unlocked it.

Leah 🌞 (1) voicemail

"Sorry I have to take this." Neelam nodded and he walked towards the deserted park. He sat down on the rusty swing and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Hey... So I told you that my dad was coming to Boston, right? Well, we had a nice chat about us and it's been really insightful.

Needless to say my father said some not nice things and he almost brought an entire squad of marines to beat the shit outta you BUT, I stopped him because as much as you infuriate me, I would like your pretty face intact."

Ethan chuckled as he played with his frayed ripped jeans.

"I told him about how sad I have been and how everything sucks. I even spoke about the happy times when we would solve the various cases together or the times when we would buy take out and pull all nighters. I spoke about my fears and doubts that maybe, just maybe you don't love me. After hearing my rant he told me something that helped erase all the lingering doubts.

He said, "Mija, When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person at the same time, that's when it's real. That's when it's worth something." Isn't that true for us?

I can make you so angry that you could put hulk to shame but, I can also make you laugh when you are low. And vice versa! You make me so happy most of the times... when you are not being a colossal pain in the ass."

There was silence on the line, as if she was thinking.

"I think I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt... only more love.

This is just a rough patch but, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just like after a dark storm comes sunshine.

This is just a test for us, to see if we are strong. And believe me, I think we are the unstoppable duo. The diagnostics posse!

And when all this... Haze of doubts was cleared from my mind, I could see clearly. I could remember the promise I made you.

I will be waiting, for as long as you need.

And it's true.

So for now... I will love you through the phone. I will try to make it a point for you to know, that I will never ever stop loving you. I will be there through thick and thin.

Just give me a chance to prove it. Have faith that I will catch you when you fall. Just, come back to me.

I love you...bye."

Ethan stared at his phone for a long time. There were so many thoughts swimming in his head. But one thought just rang wide and clear in his head. Or rather, one word.

Sunshine...

So he sat there, alone with his thoughts until the sun set on him.

DAY 59

"To the best team of doctors!" A thunder of applause ran through the huge crowd as they screamed and shouted with joy.

"Thanks to these geniuses, Tefé is now free of cholera! Also, a huge thanks to the citizens as well. Your support has been so helpful. We are strong together!" The mayor's voice boomed.

We are strong together... You and I. Leah's words resounded in his head as he looked down at his combat boots, arms crossed.

He wasn't paying any attention to the mindless congratulations. His mind was swirling with the thought that within 60 hours, he is going to see her.

He was done with slogging his ass and he was done running. He will man the fuck up, and fix his issues before he asks her out. That's a promise he made to himself.

The gift he bought for her, weighed him down with uncertainty. Whether she would like it or not.

His mind was also going back to last year. The intern year was going to come to an end in two days and Ethan couldn't fathom just how far she had come. Last year, at this time, he met her. If you would have told him that he would have fallen head over heels in love with someone, he would have just admitted that person for LSD overuse. But, now here we are.

Damnn... Its already been a year.

After the thank you ceremony was done, the doctors headed to the pub for a drink. They ordered some local cuisines and a couple of beers to celebrate their win. As much as Ethan enjoyed the smooth scotch running down his throat, he still couldn't keep his mind off their inevitable meeting.

Will she look at me and be angry?

Will she throw a drink on my face? Or kick me in the balls?

Or will she jump into my arms?

Questions... Questions...

By the time they were done, it was almost 2 am. They had an afternoon flight so that was a good thing. He wasn't drunk, but definitely a little tipsy. The last thing he wanted was to nurse a hangover early in the morning that too, on a flight.

After being dropped off at his B&B, he felt his phone vibrate. He saw Leah's name flash and his face scrunched in confusion.

It's late, she should be asleep.

He pressed the button to play the voicemail and Leah's soft voice flooded, making Ethan even more intoxicated.

"Hi... Today it's a clear sky and honestly, it looks so beautiful. The moon is shining so bright and the stars are twinkling. I was brought up in Washington DC and never in my life have I ever seen so many stars at night. It's so breathtaking..."

Ethan headed to the basically and stood outside. He leaned on the railing and looked up and indeed, it was a starry night. It was like diamonds glittering and swaying in the moonlight. And the moon... It shone in its elegance, basking Ethan in its radiance.

Leah chuckled. "I can't believe it's been a year since I became a doctor. A full fledged working doctor. It seems so surreal how this year passed by in a flash. I feel like I have grown and matured, but at the same time I still feel as clueless as my first day of work.

The day I met you... T

o be honest, I expected a grumpy old grandpa as Ethan Ramsey, but I got a handsome, dashing grump instead. I ain't complaining though. It's just...I am in a reminiscing mood."

Don't worry sunshine... Me too.

"Did you know, when we look at stars on a clear night sky we are, in a way, looking back in time? Before you roll your eyes and think this is some philosophical propaganda, there is a perfect logical explanation to it. What we see today is an object whose emitted light started its journey millions of year back and from trillions of kilometres away and are reaching our eyes now.

So... Here I am, peeping into the memories of our past. The kisses, the hugs, the love making and the joyous moments we shared. I miss that..

I miss us... I am here, waiting for you.

Come back to me, Ethan."

Ethan replayed the voicemail, as he continued to look at the stars, thinking back to the times when he had her I'm his arms.

Don't worry sunshine, I am coming home.

well, what do you think?

and what do you think will be Leah’s reaction?

a. she will kick him in the nuts

b. she will kiss the fuck outta him

c. all of the above

I hope y'all liked it.. was lowkey nervous bout this fic heheheh

like, comment and reblog ;))

[thoseofgreatambition]

Dear George | Chapter 1

Dear George | Chapter 1 | Ten Miles Farther

Desc: Gwendolyn hid herself away after the war, from a mix of ambition and anxiety. It’s not until small reunion that she reconnects with her old friend George that going out and about more seems to become interesting. 

A/N: Hi there! I started writing Dear George about three years ago. It’s incredibly long, but I poured my blood sweat and tears into this. Please let me know what you think, I would adore some comments. 

Warnings: Alchohol

Pairing: George x OC

Word count: 4.6K

Gwendolyn’s father had been the first Slytherin in a long line of Ravenclaws. At the time, no one had been that torn up about the change. Their family business was running an apothecary, and his family had been quite pleased that their first born child was ambitious. It meant that their business would be left in good hands.

Then the first war happened. Gwen’s grandparents hadn’t changed their opinion on their son, they knew him well, and knew that he wouldn’t do anything to harm anyone. However, her father had to take quite a bit of action so people didn’t associate him with the death eaters. It had worked, in their tiny magical town in Wales, he’d been dubbed ‘a good man’ despite him being in Slytherin. Afon went through the training to become a healer before joining the family business. After that he had used his free time to heal those coming back from the war, and offering free medicine to those that needed it.

Gwen was very young at the time, and he’d made sure that the experience taught her a valuable lesson. If you’re in Slytherin, you have to go more than the extra mile to make sure people don’t hold it against you. You have to go ten miles farther than anyone else.

Her mother, a muggle, hadn’t really cared a fig when Gwen was sorted into Slytherin like her father, but Gwen knew that he wasn’t happy. He knew that it would just make life harder on her than if she was in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.

As much as people who weren’t in Slytherin would like to attest, most of those in the house were perfectly normal. Slytherins knew that Gryffindor were their rivals, but that didn’t mean they weren’t friends with some of them. Many of those in Slytherin had friends with people in other houses, in fact, almost all of them did. Gwen did after all. Her best friend was her cousin in Ravenclaw, and she was good friends with the Weasley twins who were in her year.

Things started getting hard in her seventh year. Umbridge came around, and the favoritism she showed Slytherin was sickening. All of the Slytherins knew what her detentions were like. Malfoy had detailed them once in the common room. But what could they do to help? Most of them, the ones who weren’t Umbridge’s cronies simply tried to support people who weren’t in their house, took the fall for them when they could. Everyone knew she wouldn’t punish those in Slytherin.

Gwen had started volunteering in the hospital wing, when she wasn’t practicing with the rest of the Quidditch team. With Malfoy circulating the ‘Weasley is our King’ nonsense, it seemed like most people hated Slytherin with a passion. That year was both hectic and exceedingly simple. She practiced for Quidditch, helped in the hospital wing, and studied for her N.E.W.T.S. Above all, before anything else, she kept her head down.

Sure, she helped out her friends when she could, took the fall when she could, but with so much anger towards her house, Gwen found it easiest to busy herself with work and try to sway opinions by doing her very best.

It hadn’t really worked though.

She knew something was going on with the twins and their large group of friends. Every Slytherin knew there was some sort of meeting going on. Malfoy ranted about it every time he failed to find out exactly what was happening. Gwen didn’t really know the details. She hadn’t pressed to find out, and had just assumed it was some meeting of friends. If she heard anyone on the Inquisitorial Squad say anything that sounded important she passed it on if she could.

When she found out about Dumbledore’s army, what it had really been, it had stung a bit. Perhaps it was because she hadn’t pushed to find out what was happening, but to her teenage mind, it felt like she hadn’t been invited because they didn’t trust her.

She’d at least gotten to help in the Battle of Hogwarts. Gwen and her father had heard about what was going on and had arrived to offer their services as healers in the Great Hall. It hadn’t been much, but it had been enough to shake the association with their old house mates fighting for the other side.

All of this, every moment, led to today. She’d finished her training as a healer and moved back to Wales with her parents before the war, and was getting ready to take over the family business so her father could retire. It was hard work, standing over a cauldron all day, but it was for something greater than she could imagine. The Hughes family name was going to be known across all of Britain one day. She and her father were going to make damn sure that one day they were well known. It was rare that wanting to help people was met with such ambition, but the traits had merged quite firmly in the father and daughter.

She was quite engrossed in the pain potions she was working on, so when Gwen’s fire place lit up with a flash of green flame, with a familiar figure leaping out, she couldn’t help but yell out in surprise and drop her wand.  

“Merlin’s pants! Victoria, what did I tell you about doing that?” She picked up her wand that had fallen and scowled down at the fireplace as her cousin Victoria walked out. Really, if Victoria was going to opt out of helping with the family business, it would be nice if she didn’t scare the living daylights out of Gwen and distract her from working.

Victoria shrugged, and flashed the same winning smile she always did. “Sorry Gwen!” With a quick glance to her surroundings, she hopped up and sat upon the worktable. “We’re all going out for drinks, and I want you to come!”

“Who’s ‘we’?” Gwen frowned as she looked down at her potion, before starting to distribute it into smaller vials. She could probably go out for the night, it’d been several months since she did so after all. Then again, Gwen didn’t want to go to any sort of wild parties that Victoria seemed to be so fond of. Victoria was a good and smart woman, but she could drink Gwen under the table with ease.

“The Weasley twins, Angelina Johnson, me…. Plenty of others from our year? I’m not sure.” She gave Gwen an appraising look, taking in her stained shirt and pants, dirty from today’s work. “You’ll have to get changed.”

Gwen wiped her hands on her shirt. The thing would get washed anyways. Tactfully, the apothecary ignored her cousins blunt words and focused on finishing up her work.

Thinking about it, it sounded fun. She hadn’t seen much of any of the old group after the war, and the last time she’d seen Fred he’d been lying in the Great Hall, unconscious after a rather sizable chunk of wall landed atop of him. Gwen had heard he’d been wheelchair bound, though she was simply grateful he wasn’t dead.

“Fred’s going to be there? Is he doing well enough?”

Victoria nodded enthusiastically. “He looks like he’s doing pretty good! He’s using a cane now, but he said that he’s been itching to go out for a while since he’s feeling better.”

Gwen paused and took stock of her surroundings. She’d done the lion’s share of the work today, and she had a feeling her dad wouldn’t mind if she passed the rest onto him. Sure, she wouldn’t tell him she’d be drinking, but he’d be happy to know his daughter was spending time with friends. “Alright—give me a little bit to get changed. If you go downstairs Ma and Dad will get you something to eat I’m sure. They’ll be happy to see you.”

Getting ready was easy, this wasn’t some huge event where she needed to be dressed to the nines. A clean shirt, a clean pair of pants, and fixing the plait in her hair was fast and simple. Soon enough Gwen was stampeding down the stairs to meet Victoria.

“Bye Ma, bye Dad!” She kissed her mother on the cheek before waving to her father.

Ada looked up from her seat towards her daughter, a smile on her face. It was nice to hear that she was finally going out to see her old friends. “What time will you be back, Gwendolyn?”

Gwen shot a look towards Victoria, clicking her teeth as she thought. Her father was very much morally upright and hardly ever drank. While she had no intention of getting roaring drunk tonight, she knew he wouldn’t like the idea of her going to a bar. “I’m not sure. If it’s late I’ll just stay with Victoria—It’ll be nice to catch up with everyone.”

The expression on her father’s face showed she wasn’t fooling him in the slightest, but also that he didn’t mind enough to comment. “Have fun, be safe.”

Soon enough they bounded through the fireplace to Victoria’s flat near Diagon Alley. Gwen shrugged on a jacket. It was technically spring now, but it was still quite cool outside, especially at night. “So where are we meeting everyone?”

“The Leaky Cauldron! We’ll be meeting everyone there, I think it’s going to be a small reunion thing.” She did a final check of her hair in the mirror before flashing Gwen her winning smile. Gwen was still surprised Victoria hadn’t ended up in Slytherin with her. She was quite good at getting people to do what she pleased, and everyone in the family was quite happy she used her powers for good. It seemed however that her wit was her strongest personality trait, and it had landed her in Ravenclaw.

A reunion though? That probably meant a lot of the people in their year would be there. If Gwen was a betting woman, she’d wager that she’d be one of the only Slytherin’s there, if not the only one. Most of the people in her house were perfectly decent. But those that didn’t go out of their way to prove they were good people, tended to be excluded. Gwen reckoned the only reason she was remembered for this was because she was Victoria’s cousin.

On second thought, it may have been the fact she was on the Quidditch team. The twins probably remembered launching several bludgers at her in their younger years.

George had definitely popped her shoulder out of socket at one point, but the boy had been nice enough to check on Gwen in the hospital wing after. She didn’t really blame him. He’d been aiming for one of Slytherin’s Beater’s, and when the Beater moved out of the way, George had hit her while she was carrying the Quaffle.

Gwen massaged her shoulder as she remembered the event and walked out onto the street with Victoria. It was hard not to be a little nervous. This was the first time she’d seen these people since the war had ended almost a year ago, and Gwen hadn’t kept in good touch with any of them. She had a growing suspicion that people would be so interested in catching up with each other, she might have a hard time joining a conversation.

Her suspicion was correct. People were perfectly friendly to Gwen, and in fact there were a few people that seemed genuinely happy to see her. But as people got into deep conversations, she was spending more time listening than talking. Victoria was at a different and engrossed in a conversation with an old housemate, Gwen was sipping on her drink, wondering how rude it would be of her to leave early.

Looking around from her tiny booth in the corner, it did seem nice to be back. Gwen had missed these people, and even if she wasn’t sure how to join into their conversations, it didn’t mean she wasn’t happy to see them. She did wish that at least one other Slytherin had shown up, Gwen had gotten along quite well with most of the ones in her year, and she was certain she’d have a conversation partner if that was the case.

“So how have you been?”

It took a second to realize that the voice was talking to her, and as Gwen looked she saw a familiar ginger headed man sitting down across from her. “Hey George.”

If it had been a few years ago, she wouldn’t have been entirely certain which twin was which, but George only had one ear now, and Fred was restricted to using a cane. Somehow she wasn’t happy about being able to tell them apart. “I’ve been doing pretty well. I finished up training as a healer this fall, and I moved back home to help with the shop. How have you been?”

He squeezed into the booth, and they both pretended Gwen didn’t know the answer to the question she’d just asked. Gwen also pretended she didn’t notice the fact he was missing an ear now. Probably something from the war.

“Man that’s all you’ve been up to? After so long I really thought you were going to give me an earful.”

“That’s a terrible pun,” she said, smiling despite her words. There was a certain quality about the twins. They could make anyone laugh. Just across the room Fred was telling some sort of story that had everyone in stitches.

“No one ever likes the ear jokes,“ He clicked his tongue, and shook his head with an exaggerated look of sadness. “It’s a shame really, when I’ve got so many of them.” He couldn’t keep the fake frown on for long, before returning to his normal beaming self. “I’ve been doing alright, the shop’s been closed for a while now, but we’re hoping to open it during the summer. Fred and I have been developing new products as much as we can. It’s really nice to get back to work.” He looked across the room and eyed his brother’s cane. “It’s a good distraction.”

She followed his line of sight to his brother and frowned just a bit, wondering what else was going on that she wasn’t privy to. It certainly wasn’t her place to ask. This was her first time having a proper conversation with him since before the war started, and that topic would be going too far in depth for so soon after meeting him again.

Instead, Gwen steered the conversation to a safer topic.

“So what are you working on now? The new products?”

George knew perfectly well what she was doing, and he was quite alright with it. Detailing how hard Fred’s rehabilitation was going wasn’t something he wanted to do on a night that was supposed to be fun. “We’re working on a whole new line of sweets! Remember how we made sweets to help kids get out of class or tests?”

“I do. I also seem to remember a certain Mr. Weasley eating a bad batch of those sweets and vomiting on my shoes.”

“I’m not surprised you do, but you should also remember that the same Mr. Weasley apologized quite a bit for that, and held your hair when you threw up in return.”

He’d felt quite bad about it at the time. First for ruining her shoes, and secondly for causing her to get sick in return. He’d used a spell to clean her shoes though, and had made sure she was alright, so George figured they were square.

Gwen chuckled and took another sip of her drink, “Yeah—I guess we’re even. So what do these new sweets do? More to get you out of class?”

He shook his head. “No, we’re actually thinking of things that help you perform better. Things to jog your memory, a nougat to help with getting nervous in class….” George finished off the last bit of his drink and smiled. “We figure it’ll be nice to do some sweets that don’t involve making people sick.”

“I mean, I’m sure a lot of people would agree with you.” Gwen finished off the last of her drink as well, finally done with the first drink of the night. She wasn’t terribly fond of drinking, and tended to pace herself. “It’s nice to see everyone again, I haven’t seen you since what? A year and a half ago?”

She didn’t count the battle. Gwen had of course seen him there, but it was when his whole family was crouched over Fred, worrying if he was going to live or die.

“A year and a half ago yeah. Too long. I seem to remember you telling me you’d keep in touch, Miss Hughes.” George did his best impression of his mother when she chastised one of his children, and wagged his finger at her until she laughed. “You better start keeping up to that promise. I’ll be holding you to it.” Spying their empty glasses, he scooted out of the booth and stood up. “Next rounds on me—no arguing. What will you have?”

“A butterbeer. Thank you George.” He was the same guy he always was, funny, and always looking to reach out to those he thought seemed lonely.

As the night went on, the awkwardness of seeing each other for the first time in a while faded, and they were able to talk like they used to. “Yeah—Fred’s real happy. They took him off one of his pain management potions, so he’s able to drink again.” George’s face screwed up, realizing that he hadn’t exactly put his brother in a nice light. “Not that he drank much in the first place, but it’s just been a pain being told not to do something.”

“That’s understandable. I see that a lot. No grown up likes being told what they can and can’t do.” She sipped on her drink, feeling a very happy warmth spread over her from the butterbeer. “It’s hard making pain potions, you can’t make them too strong or else the patient can’t do anything, but if you don’t make them strong enough they don’t help. That’s good though, I’m happy for him. He’s doing a lot better than the last time I saw him.” Granted, the last time she saw him he’d been unconscious, but this was still a vast improvement.

George nodded, it was nice talking to Gwen about this sort of thing. She’d always been inclined to healing, and during their seventh year she’d snuck him balms to help with the scars from Umbridge’s detentions. “So I have a question for you. What sort of sleeping potion is best for insomnia?”

It was a complicated question, and Gwen mulled it over with a long sip from her drink. “Well, it depends on the background of the patient.” She looked between Fred across the room and George across the table from her.  She reckoned that he was asking either on behalf of his brother or himself. “If the patient is on a lot of other medication, it narrows the field. If not, there’s more options.”

“I don’t take any other potions regularly, except for a sleeping potion I bought at a shop. Didn’t see a healer for it though.” He had no qualms coming out to Gwen and saying it was for him. The problem laid in the fact that with Fred dealing with being so sick and in so much pain after the war, George hadn’t really felt right seeking out help for his own issues. Now that Fred was getting better though….

“With you, it’s actually not that bad finding something that would work. I’d steer away from anything you can just pick up without seeing an actual healer, those can get nasty. If you pop by our shop I can help you out. Can you not sleep at all or is it just trouble falling asleep?”

Well that explained the fact that his potion had stopped working on him. “I can’t sleep at all. I usually end up eventually falling asleep after a day or two.”

Gwen shook her head a little bit. That certainly wasn’t good. A glance at the clock showed that it was quite late, but not too late for her to help him out. “C’mon—we’re getting you squared away tonight.”

George looked at her in surprise, as she stood up, “Tonight? You sure?” He shot a look at Fred who was peering over at him curiously. Fred offered a thumbs up, and George shook his head. No, this wasn’t going to be like that. “Alright then—let’s go.”

She walked to the fireplace and tossed a handful of Floo powder in, “Hughes Apothecary.” Quick as all can be, she was back home in the store front, greeted by her confused father working on labeling potions.

George followed suit and was entirely unsure how to handle this situation. Luckily, Gwen seemed to have a handle on it. “This is my friend George, he’s had trouble sleeping so I wanted to get him settled with a potion tonight to help out.”

Afon frowned just a bit at his daughter. The paternal side of him didn’t like her bringing home a “friend” late at night with no warning. The ambitious side of him though was happy that he’d be getting a new customer, and trusted that his daughter would get a new patient for the business. “Nice to meet you George.” He shook the young man’s hand and noted the dark circles under his eyes. Yes, a sleeping potion would be in order. “Let me know if you need any help Gwendolyn.”

He was quite certain that she’d have a handle on it, but Afon intended to be right in the other room working just in case.

The redhead felt quite awkward. He’d be honest, after the war he was known for partaking in some ill advised flings, but that was a behavior George was determined to put behind him. Besides, this didn’t feel like that. Always one to crack a joke in any situation, he handled the tension the best he knew how. “So is this the part where you try to sell me as much as you can?”

Gwen let out a snort of laughter as she began sorting through several potions, before motioning loosely to a chair for him to sit in. “No, you’re not drunk enough to rob blind. So when was the last time you slept?”

“Night before last.” He wasn’t much of a coffee drinker, and even now he wasn’t fond of the stuff, but he’d had quite a bit to make ends meet. Gwen took his wrist in her hand and checked his pulse. “I went to bed at 4 a.m. and woke up at 8 p.m.” there was a twang of guilt, George was always very careful to go to Fred’s healer appointments with him, but had managed to miss that one.

“Have there been any other symptoms?” This all seemed fairly straightforward, but she didn’t want to miss some bigger thing he may have by just focusing on the lack of sleep.

George shook his head, trying to rack his brain. “I’ve had headaches, but that’s about it.”

With a nod, she let go of his wrist and grabbed a potion from the cabinet. “Alright, so this is what I’ll be giving you.” Gwen set the vial in his hand and sat across from him. She jotted down the instructions she was giving him verbally on a piece of parchment “You’re only going to take an ounce a night, an hour before bed. You’re going to cut out all caffeine after noon, and you’re not going to have any heavy meals three hours before bed. I don’t want you doing any work or any studying for products an hour before bed. You need to start relaxing.”

He was glad Gwen was writing all of this down. She continued to list what he was supposed to do, and he doubted he would have been able to remember it all.  Then again, if this would help him sleep, it would be worth it.

“Writing also helps. You can start a journal or write some letters before bed if that will help you relax.”

“Letters will probably work best…” his mother would be happier if he sent more letters to her, certainly. “Besides, given how much I’ve talked to you these past few years, maybe I ought to start writing instead.”

Gwen simply responded with a grin and a nod. The writing trick almost always worked. There was something therapeutic about getting all of your thoughts out onto a page before you slept. She stood up and began leafing about the room. She knew somewhere in here there was a tea that would help him relax. It certainly wasn’t a magical one, but it should still work.

“How much do I owe you?” He stood out of the chair and stretched, feeling himself grow more tired as the alcohol he’d had continued to hit him. His tolerance seemed to have faded after not drinking for some time. Hopefully he’d actually be able to sleep tonight. Gwen appeared to be searching for something in the cluttered workroom. George couldn’t pass judgment though, it was still more organized than what he and Fred had going on.

She simply shook her head. Her father’s ambition was to have the shop become so successful they could open another in Diagon Alley, and then more and more until they were in every wizarding center in Britain. To do this they had to make quite a bit of money and develop a huge client base. If he knew she was giving away a potion for free she doubted he’d be happy. Gwen’s ambition was the same, but she knew that sometimes it needed to be put aside, even if she wasn’t entirely thrilled about it. “Don’t worry about it, just let me know if it works alright? I think it’ll work for you, but I don’t want you paying for it if it doesn’t.”

“Are you sure?” George reached back to grab his wallet out of his pocket. He couldn’t help but remember when he and Fred were starting to sell their products at school, and how every knuckle had mattered when it came to making sure they could do what they loved. Sure, Gwen’s family business was much more old and established than his was, but he didn’t want to put anyone in a tight spot.

Gwen nodded, handing him the small satchel of tea she’d been looking for. “Drink this after you take your potion. It’ll help too.” She waved him off as he took out his money, “I’m sure! It was nice talking to you again. I want to help out where I can. Besides, you paid for drinks tonight. We’re even George.”

That had tended to be a running theme in their friendship. They’d first met in potions, where she’d helped him once and he’d helped her in return. After he’d hit her with the bludger during the Quidditch game and knocked her shoulder out of socket, he’d carried around her books until it had healed. When she gave him a balm to heal the wound on his hand after detentions with Umbridge, he’d given her a wide assortment of Skiving Snackboxes to help her get out of History of Magic.

It didn’t quite feel like even though. All he’d done was spend time with a friend, and now she was helping him with a problem he’d had for months. Always seeking to even the scales, George quickly thought of a solution. “I’ll write you tonight, and you can expect my letter tomorrow.”

Gwen smiled. “You better—I’m expecting to hear plenty of jokes from you. Good ones this time, not just ear puns.”

“Excuse you Madam, those are the epitome of comedy.” He gave her a quick hug and grabbed a handful of Floo powder. It was time to leave. Fred was probably back home and he was sure his brother needed help getting ready for bed. “You better come and visit the shop again soon. No more waiting a year before seeing your friends.”

She nodded, “I’ll come and visit when I have the chance.” For once, she actually meant it. “Get some sleep George.”

George tossed the powder into the fireplace, “Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.” Turning back to Gwen, he threw her a smile. “Thank you. Goodnight.”

Like that, he was gone. Briefly, Gwen wondered how Victoria would feel about the fact she’d essentially ditched the party to do more business, but shrugged it off. She was helping a friend, and had more fun than if she had simply sat in the corner of the pub all night. Gwen passed by her father and went upstairs to her room.

It’d be nice to read George’s letter in the morning.

tag list: @geeksareunique @insearchofnewdreams @notstandingstill-imlyinginwait @lumos-barnes @thatfuckingliardavidtennant @slytherinqween @xinyourdreamsx @skiving-snackboxess @wildfire-whizbangs @dwarfwizard-from-panem @diary-of-an-onliner @answer-the-sirens @woakiees @black-widow-fangirl @theheirofnightandday @summerstardust @whysoseriouspadfoot @chocok22 @myhopesareanchoredinyou @siriusblackisme @illusivedaydreamer @zeeneee @writingwitchly @wolfpotter12 @obsessedwithrandomthings @carolinesbookworld @shadowsinger11 @pit-and-the-pen @summer-writes @peachesandpinks @ickle-ronniekins @gweaslvy @alpinewinchester

[magnolia-penn]

Future Vision Chapter 2

DIO? God?

Oop- sorry this took so long. It took me forever to write and I had no motivation to type it all from my notebook.

Also, brownie points to whoever finds the Avatar: The Last Airbender reference.

Warnings: Swearing (so much swearing), Spoilers (sorta), mention of death (no one important) lemme know if I missed anything

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"31 years!" Polnareff shouted in disbelief.

"Apparently." You shrugged, already over it.

The men were flabbergasted about your current predicament. Stands were a fairly new concept and to think that there was a Stand strong enough to pull you from the future, breaking all sorts of time and space laws? You'd have to be crazy!

Yet… There you were, completely adapted to the strange situation. You were thrown almost double the amount of years you existed and all it took was a quick scream session behind a sand dune for you to calm down? 

"You seem so startled. Stands have crazy abilities. My friend, Magnolia, works alongside a mafia boss with the ability to create infinite life and make it so you can never truly reach death!" You pumped your fist in the air in excitement. "Time travel doesn't seem that far out. My Stand isn't too terribly special, especially compared to some of the other Stands I've seen, but it's pretty cool."

The group's confusion settled deeper as you went on a tangent about future Stands that your friend has described from her time working at the Speedwagon Foundation. You used words that didn't make sense, phrases they didn't understand, but your growing excitement caused them to nod along with you.

"OH! And Stands can be upgraded! Although we do-" You cut yourself off suddenly, eyes zoned out.

You didn't say anything, just stared into the endless expanse of sand and heat. It was Kakyoin who spoke up first.

"Y/n? Are you alright?"

You snapped out of your trance with a start. "I FORGOT TO FEED MY FISH SHIT SEND ME BACK!"

Your sudden outburst sent Polnareff jumping back into Mr. Joestar, your attention dragged to him as his face dropped from confusion to somber defeat.

You picked up on the nervous weight shifts and glances away. You tried to look back at the man who brought you here, only for Mr. Joestar to clear his throat, bringing the attention back to him. He fumbled with his words a bit, trying to justify the shift in attention, but he ultimately failed.

"Oh ho no, I see what's going on," You said after Mr. Joestar gave up on trying to explain. "This fuck-" a pointed finger towards the corpse behind you, "was my only ticket back to the future?"

"Well no. Technic-" You cut the older man off.

"'Uh well no'," you mocked. "Lemme guess, he would've been the easiest way?"

"Now, Miss Y/n, there is no need to be so aggressive. I'm sure we can figure everything out. Our enemy, DIO, has a lackey-" 

You cut Avdol off as well.

"DIO? God? In Italian? What kind of narcissist names their kid 'God' in Italian?"

You gave a snort before falling into a fit of mocking laughter. Your humor was short lived, though, as Jotaro finally spoke up. Or shouted I guess.

"Can you shut up? Good grief, all you do is yap! God, all you women are the same."

You stopped your laughter to stare at the teen clad in black, sizing him up. It was a tense couple of minutes, an unstoppable force and an unmovable object locked in a stubborn standoff.

After a bit, you let out a chuckle and let your head fall back to face the sky.  You watched the clouds for a second before sighing.

"You know, Joots," You catch him visibly tense from the nickname. "I see why you become a marine biologist in the future. The ocean is powerful and terrifying. It's been like that from the beginning. My friend often describes me like the ocean, although, unlike the tides, who have decided to kill you millions of years ago," You bring your hand up near your face before clenching it into a fist, shimmering from the effects of your Stand. "I still haven't made up my mind."

Jotaro's face turns sour in fear for a split second before returning to the default steely glare. You watched in amusement as his Stand began to manifest, but the hesitation you saw in the purple being's eyes told you all you needed to know.

Jotaro was, at the very least, cautious of you.

But also curious.

You managed to make full contact with Hierophant Green, something no one can do unless a Stand is initiating the contact. Kakyoin also couldn't see you, so how could it've climbed up you? Stand don't act on their own violations.

You also mentioned the future Jotaro. He becomes a marine biologist? And one famous enough to be known by teenagers? Jotaro can't even name a famous marine biologist.

He figured killing you know would be disastrous, there was still much to learn from you. Maybe you held knowledge that once came with hindsight.

"Nice to see we're in agreement." Jotaro gruffed out, allowing Star Platinum to fully dissipate.

A small smile graced your features as you extended the same hand you threatened him with.

"Well then, a truce. Until we decide to kill each other." 

Jotaro nodded and took your hand, allowing a handshake to secure your mortalities.

For now.

"MON DIEU! I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD!" Polnareff wailed suddenly, startling the group.

Tension rolled off all of you as Avdol let out a sigh of relief. "I am quite surprised you are alive as well. Not many people can insult Jotaro and walk away intact, Y/n."

You chuckled and waved off the man's concern. "I may only have six brain cells, but I'm not stupid. He wouldn't do shit. Not without knowing what I can do."

"Is that so?" Jotaro let a small smirk slip out. It's hard not to grin when you were acting stupid.

You nodded and hummed in agreement. "I like to think I'm good at reading people."

Jotaro only scoffed and rolled his eyes, although there was an inset glimmer of amusement deep with those cerulean orbs.

"So what exactly does your Stand do?" Mr. Joestar asked the elephant in the room.

"Hmm? Oh, my Stand. Okay, so, here's the thing. My Stand is actually really weak." You confessed.

"My Stand, Chemical Romance, is only really good for getting info from people. I'm often called in to the Speedwagon Foundation to help with interrogations. My Stand allows me to talk to and understand other Stands. All those unintelligible noises your Stand makes are actually your soul trying to communicate, and Chem translates them for me. Even silent Stands or Stands with no humanoid form." You glanced at Mr. Joestar. "I can also touch and interact with them, like I did for Hierophant Green. Also, and we think this might just be a radius effect, but Stands become more sentient around me. They think for themselves."

And….. just like that you lost them. It's hard to understand  such complex Stands when all they know is Many Punch, Tasteful Nudes, French Sword, Fire Bird, and Shiny Rock.

"So… You can't actually follow through with your previous threats?" Kakyoin asked cautiously.

"Excuse you! Just who in the hell do you think you are? I am a whole ass person shaped can of whoop ass and no weak ass Stand or Death Parade wannabe looking ass is going to beat me!" You pumped your fist in the air again.

"Whew- That's the sort of can-do attitude our team needs." Mr. Joestar chuckled. "Wait, that wouldn't be a bad idea!"

"Oh ho? Does the great Joseph Joestar have an idea? Careful, Old Man, thinking can hurt ya." You joked.

"No no no no no hear me out. You need to get back to the future, we need to stop DIO from murdering everybody and taking over the world." Mr. Joestar explained. "We both have to get to Cairo for DIO! Join us! You and your Stand are really useful!"

Surprise crossed your face before slipping back to its usual cool façade.

"Nah, I was kind of digging the idea of shriveling up dead in the desert. Although~" you drawled. "I guess, if you're so desperate for my help. It would be immoral for me not to help you, you're so old, even thinking about fighting DIO is going to trigger a heart attack."

You snorted out a laugh and Mr. Joestar did chuckle a bit before you realized something.

"Sooo. Who exactly DIO? Other than some bitch who wants to take over the world." 

As quickly as a light flicking out of existence, the once humorous and airy atmosphere of the group became tense and tragic. The utter rage, disgust, and hatred for this mysterious man was palpable. Even the fun and boisterous Jean-Pierre Polnareff extruded murderous intent.

"DIO is a very bad man." Avdol broke the silence, but found himself unable to say more.

"Thanks for the life lesson, Dad," you spit sarcastically. "No. Who is he and what might he have done to sound so familiar."

"DIO is a monster that was created by greed and a lust for power. He is a vampire who ruthlessly slaughtered those who took him in when he was orphaned at the age of twelve." Mr. Joestar explained grimly. "He rejected his humanity to become something monstrous and immortal, but even now, that wasn't enough for him."

"He's notorious throughout the Speedwagon Foundation, whose founder fought him a hundred years ago. I wouldn't doubt it if his story still circulated in your years, Y/n." Avdol completed.

"All of us are here now because of DIO. Polnareff and I were under his control because of a flesh bud, Advol was almost conned into the same situation, and Jotaro's mother, Joseph's daughter, is under attack by her own Stand because it was forcibly awoken by him." Kakyoin said, then shot you a soft smile. "And I guess you as well."

"Oh yeah! Eli did mention they were looking for a girl who could strengthen DIO's Stand, so I guess he is why you're here!" Polnareff's smile returned to his face at the prospect of making a new friend who was in the same boat as them.

"Y'know, think back on it, I do vaguely remember my friend mentioning your mom, Joots." That damned nickname again. "Stand Sickness is what we call it now. That might be where I know DIO from." You shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "Anywho, now that that's settled, can we get out of the desert? I'm roasting to death."

"Oh! Of course! We have to get to the next town before nightfall anyways. To the car!" Mr. Joestar cheered.

You all piled into the three rowed vehicle. Jotaro and Polnareff sat in the way back, you and Kakyoin sat in the middle, with Mr. Joestar and Avdol occupying the front.

The road to the next town was filled with fill ins. They explained how they came together and how they defeated their foes that found them at every turn. You spoke of how the world has changed and advanced. You showed them your music and all the apps on your phone. You found that you were still connected to your home wifi at full strength, but you couldn't comment or post anything. All true contact to those in the future was cut off, but you could still consume media.

As the dust and corpse was left behind, you could feel the newly forged bonds between you and the men around you strengthen and grow, becoming more entangled and intertwined. And you felt happy about it.

[anywhozits]

All I Really Want Chapter 7

Rating: M

Pairing: Kristanna eventuallyyy

Verse: 90s High School AU / frozen retelling

Chapter Summary: Anna celebrates her 15th birthday.

Notes: Thank you for reading!!! Also there is some language, underage drinking, and homophobia in this chapter - be warned! (also tw emotional abuse)

Read on Ao3 here!

June twenty-fucking-first.

Another year. Fifteen, now.

And… Anna was excited, objectively, sure. At her very core, she felt excited because she knew she should be excited. But still, the very nature of this date always left her with a huge pit in her stomach.

There was just so much pressure. So much hope and want and desire for the love she craved to fill her first moments of fifteen.

Anna used to think she loved her birthday. The attention… the entire day naturally being about her—like, she knew she was supposed to enjoy it. She loved attention. She’d never deny that.

But…

In reality, her birthday stressed her out. There were all these expectations. Wanting people to acknowledge her, surprise her, and do all these special things to show they care. And yeah, this was probably way too much to ask on her 15th birthday but she wanted to feel … desired.

And yet she worried that wouldn’t happen this year.

Because her birthday was and had always been so full of disappointment.

Elsa forgot. Her parents forgot. Over the years one or two or all three of them forgot. They would ignore her the whole dumb day and then Anna would end up sobbing alone in her huge stupid room that had no reason to be so huge when it felt so lonely.

So far today, not one member of her family had acknowledged her. Her mother was definitely taking a nap or something. Who the hell knew where her dad was… and Elsa hadn’t called (yet, Anna thought, maybe too optimistically), but she was busy at this pre-college academic program at Pomona. So she had an okay excuse.

At least this year Anna got to spend her birthday with Hans. With Hans, maybe it’d be different. He already made the prom milestone so special that she had no doubt he’d do the same for her birthday.

No disappointments this year. Fingers crossed.

And how could she forget? She had Kristoff, too. And Kristoff never forgot. Kristoff always tried his best to make it special.

In fact, he’d already done something for her—he’d left her a card and a mixtape. This had to be her 37th Kristoff Bjorgman mixtape. And every new tape was better than the last.

He... well, um—that gesture alone made her feel desired.

She was officially on her third listen of the mixtape, and the sweet sweet tunes of Modest Mouse’s Dramamine filled her room.

In the past, he tended to include recordings of Pissed Off Kids, but Kristoff had made it extra special this time—the final song of the tape was instead a solo of Kristoff’s smooth tenor singing Better Man by Pearl Jam. Naturally he also hit all of the epic guitar riffs.

Anna loved it.

This lovely thought paired with the swelling sounds of Dramamine put her in a trance. Deep in her emotions, Anna swayed to the beat, instantly craving something more.

Traveling swallowing Dramamine

Look at your face like you're killed in a dream

She crawled on the floor and under her bed, pulling out a blue plastic box that housed her entire stash. The stash was once discovered by the family’s housekeeper, Anna (pronounced A-nuh not Ah-nuh), who subsequently revealed it to Agnarr and Iduna. Obviously, they did nothing about it. Duh. They gave zero shits. Zero. And it had devastated her, somehow. To not be yelled at or grounded… to not have her entire stash confiscated.

And you think you've figured out everything

I think I know my geography pretty damn well

Clearly, Anna had no reason to hide it anymore but leaving it out in the open took most of the fun away. So here it was back in the blue plastic box under her bed. Various bottles of alcohol, rolling paper, a pipe, a lighter, some weed, and an unopened bottle of Xanax with Iduna Larsen’s name on the label.

You say what you need so you'll get more

If you could just milk it for everything

Actually, come to think of it—Anna’s entire stash had been collected from her parent’s room.

I've said what I said, and you know what I mean

But I can't still focus on anything

Looking squarely at the box and its contents, Anna bit her lip. She needed this. And, why? Well, it was a combination of her baseline birthday nerves and the aftermath of the intense sob-fest she had when the oh-so-topical So Unsexy by Alanis Morrissette played on Kristoff’s mixtape. Oh, and of course the fact that her parents probably fucking forgot her birthday yet again… So, she took out the rolling paper and the Ziploc baggie that contained a few grams of weed.

Then, some weird crashing sound echoed from her window, which made her gasp and spook slightly.

Walking over to the window, drawing the curtains, and emerging onto her Juliet balcony, she noticed Hans and his goofy grin, standing in the driveway like he was a regular John Cusack.

When she saw that he had a bunch of tiny pebbles in his hand, it all made sense.

Anna’s heart fluttered. She loved it. She, like, literally loved it. So romantic.

“Can I come up?” He shouted, and Anna blushed. She was basically real-life Juliet at this point.

“Of course!” Anna called, and Hans started off in a sprint toward the rose trellis that led up the side of the house and into her window. “You don’t have to sneak in, you know!”

But he smiled devilishly and yelled, “I want to!”

Anna laughed and rolled her eyes at his definitely not-necessary efforts, but her stomach also did a few backflips. It was literally 500 times more romantic for him to climb up the trellis than it was for him to simply walk through the unlocked front door.

He pulled himself onto the balcony and Anna kissed him deeply. She couldn’t help but sigh—she was so, unbelievably happy to see him today.

“Happy birthday, babe,” he cooed in between kisses.

“Aww, thank you! I’m so happy you’re here.” After kissing a few more times, they ended up back in her bedroom where Kristoff’s singing now boomed through the room. Anna’s eyes fell to the blue plastic box—right. She had plans. “I was gonna do a little something to, uh, match the general vibe of this mixtape Kristoff made for me if you maybe wanted to join?” Anna gestured to the rolling paper and Ziploc bag.

Hans shook his head but then did a double-take. “Kristoff made you a mixtape?”

“Yep! He’s made me, like, tons of them.”

She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man.

“Who’s this? Pearl Jam or some shit?”

“Yeah, but not—"

“Damn, he really thinks he’s emo, huh?”

“—because it’s Kristoff who’s singing. Pearl Jam cover, yeah, but…”

She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man.

Hans laughed, heartily. “He’s pathetic.”

…huh?

“What?”

“You’re telling me he specifically chose this song to sing for you, recorded it, and then actually had the balls to give it to you?”

“Uh-huh.”

Another robust chuckle from Hans.

Anna furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s the big deal?”

“Are you even listening to these lyrics?”

“Um, yes, I—"

Hans laughed again. “You have no idea, do you?”

Anna pouted. She hated feeling naïve. Especially now that she was such a woman. Fifteen and a woman. Not naïve, not anywhere near naïve.

“No, I ... I know. Duh. I totally know what you’re talking about.” But she really didn’t. She had no idea what the hell he meant.

“So fucking pathetic,” Hans said, shaking his head. “But whatever. He’s not even a little bit threatening, is he?”

Threatening?

Oh.

Ohohohoh.

Hans thought… no way.

Kristoff wasn’t pathetic. He wasn’t pining after Anna or whatever. No duh he wasn’t. Absolutely no way.

They were just friends.

And, besides, Kristoff chose these songs because he knew Anna would like them. There was no connection between the themes or lyrics of the songs and how he felt about Anna. None at all… there couldn’t be a connection, because if there were, then… the whole sister thing was bullshit. But it wasn’t. No way in hell. Like, it couldn’t be.

Then why was Hans so convinced?

Before Anna could give this another thought, her bedroom door flew open.

She reflexively ran to the plastic box stash and kicked it back under her bed. For no real reason beyond wanting to keep some kind of classic-teenage air of mystery about herself.

Not that she had any earthly idea who the hell was coming barging into her room on this particular day at this particular hour.

But then when she saw the hint of blonde hair zooming past her and then engulfing her in a huge hug, she beamed. Elsa. Exactly who she wanted to come barging into her room.

“Anna!” She exclaimed as she hugged and hugged and hugged her sister. “Happy happy happy birthday! Fifteen—wow. I’m absolutely thrilled that I get to celebrate with you today.”

Anna didn’t want to pull away. So she didn’t. She held on tighter, savoring this moment she thought would never in a million years come to pass. “I’m really happy too, Els. I thought… weren’t you at school? How’d you even get here?”

“Mom and dad picked me up.”

“…really?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why?”

“So I could be here for your birthday.”

“They should really just get you a car or something so they don’t have—” And then the pin dropped. “Wait, what?”

Anna finally pulled away from her sister and stared at her incredulously.

“Yeah—they picked me up so we could have a proper celebration.”

“But…wait. You’re saying…a proper celebration for… for my birthday? Our parents wanted to do this? For me?”

“At Hans’s insistence, actually.”

“Hans?” Anna’s eyes darted to her not-boyfriend. “You… did this?”

“Only took a couple phone calls with your parents, a few with Elsa. And then magic was made.”

“I can’t believe you did this for me.”

“Of course I did, babe. I love you.”

Anna’s heart fluttered the most it had ever fluttered. It fluttered so much she honestly worried it might fly away out of her chest and off the balcony or something totally wild like that.

Hans was perfect. She was so lucky to have Hans. The perfect not-boyfriend who made her birthday okay again. More than okay, rather. Magical, wonderful. Perfect.

She didn’t even notice as Kristoff’s next selection, All Over You, started playing in the background.

And then the door swung open again and the two essential strangers she called parents walked in to also swarm Anna with massive hugs.

It felt… strange. Uncharacteristic. Almost like… almost like seeing a teacher at the movie theater, sitting down to watch the same movie you’re seeing with friends.

That level of weird.

But at the same time, it was a type of weird that Anna embraced more than anything else.

Because her parents were hugging her… they were acknowledging her.

They hadn’t forgotten her birthday.

“I rented us a Duffy boat for the afternoon,” Agnarr explained. “Kai set it all up for us—stocked with the best Cristal and naturally Anna’s favorite charcuterie board.”

“Ooh cured meats. A birthday delight.” Shit Anna had no idea how to interact with her parents anymore. Who even was this person—cured meats? Like yeah, she loved cured meats of course but damn this felt awkward.

“Actually, we should consider heading out soon. Don’t want to find ourselves on the blacklist at the Yacht Club, you know.”

That may sound like a joke but their close family friends actually did get blacklisted from the Yacht Club. Well, it had much more to do with some kind of scandalous drug and prostitute type situation than it did with being late, but… the fear was there.

“Should we bring your stereo?”

“Oh, yeah! Yes. Great idea. Kristoff actually made me a mixtape for my birthday, so—yeah. I’d love to have that along for the celebration too!”

They brought the speaker. They brought the Cristal and the charcuterie. Anna brought her now sunny and enthused birthday disposition.

Her family. And Hans. All together. Right now. On her birthday. Like, shit.

It felt like something out of her absolute favorite dream of all time.

And, yes, this whole Duffy boat thing was the most freaking Orange County plan of all time. But that meant her dad had to have planned ahead, since Duffy boats booked up ahead of time.

She felt so loved. So loved.

Once they arranged themselves in the boat, Anna turned on the stereo. So Unsexy played again, but Alanis didn’t get to her this time. Nobody had forgotten her birthday. She wasn’t alone. She felt, like, confident for once… damn. This was nice.

Hans moved to sit next to Agnarr, looking for a lesson about driving the boat, and Iduna sat close to the two of them, smiling. It was a Good Day. Anna could already tell.

“Aww, Alanis?” Elsa asked.

“Yeah!”

“Wouldn’t’ve expected Kristoff to put this on his mixtape.”

“Well, I mean, it’s because of you.”

“What? Really?

“Mmhmm. Because he, um, he knows how much Alanis means to you and because Alanis means so much to you she means so much to me. I really—”

“That’s so sweet.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah.” Elsa leaned in to give her sister a huge hug. “I’m happy I get to spend more time with you.”

Anna relaxed into Elsa’s hold. She would thank the stars every day for this magnificent change. “Me, too.”

“Did you know the song You Oughta Know is about Uncle Joey?”

“Shut up. Really? For real?”

“For real for real.”

“No shit,” Anna laughed. “I didn’t think he had it in him.”

“Yeah!” Hans chimed in. “No pull for Uncle Joey.”

“But, wow, yeah. Um,” Anna’s cheeks flushed red and she locked her eyes with Hans. “Guess he must’ve been pretty mind-blowing in bed.”

Hans winked at her and Anna all but shivered on the spot. Hold it together, Anna. Hold it together.

But Elsa entertained them zero, shaking her head. “He took advantage of her,” Elsa explained, crossing her arms over her chest. “He’s fifteen years older than her. And they’d already broken up when she was 21, so who knows how old she was when they started…”

Anna bit her lip, worrying this was getting a little personal. Hans was only two years older than her, so. Different story, right?

Eh. Maybe not according to Elsa.

She needed to change the subject and impulsively blurted out, “I wanna get blackout. Right now.”

Elsa shook her head again. “Anna…”

“Yeah! I mean it! You too, right? You’ll do it with me? Let’s blackout on this Cristal. Yeah?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Oh, come on. Ms. Boring! I didn’t ask for your judgmental-as-shit opinion. Do you wanna blackout or do you wanna blackout?”

“Uh—neither?”

Anna pouted. “Boo. Boring.” She looked to Hans for more support, but he’d turned his attention back to Agnarr and the steering wheel.

“I’ll drink with you, but I don’t want to blackout. I wanna remember you turning 15.”

Anna chewed on her bottom lip. “Oh… yeah. Well, I guess I do too. Since it’s so great and all.”

“I’m not boring,” Elsa smirked.

“Prove it.”

Elsa grabbed the bottle of champagne and twisted the cap a little hesitantly but still enthusiastically. It made a loud popping sound and a little bit of the liquid spilled from the top, but both Anna and Elsa cheered when the champagne was deemed officially free.

Elsa poured them both tall glasses, and then she poured three more, remembering there were other people on this Duffy Boat and not just the two sisters.

All five raised their glasses.

To Anna. Who was now officially fifteen. Old enough to legally drink Cristal on a Duffy Boat, right? Totally.

And then Agnarr perked up, suddenly remembering his eldest daughter was also on this boat. “So, Elsa… can you tell me again why you chose Pomona over Harvard?” The way he said both school names made it more than clear how he felt about Elsa’s decision. Pomona sounded like he smelled the sweet stench of vomit infested garbage. In contrast, Harvard sounded like a choir of angels sang at the gates of heaven.

“I needed a change of pace.”

Agnarr laughed. A literally massive guffaw. “Harvard could’ve been a change of pace.”

“I don’t really—”

“But, at the end of the day, fine, you’re majoring in what—finance? Which means that your classes at this bullshit liberal arts doohickey will be miniscule. And you’ll get more time with the professors, get better letters of rec, and then end up at the Stanford GSB like your old man. That’ll really seal that fucking deal, you know? You’ll be in tip-top shape to take over The Company. Harvard or not.”

“I’m not gonna major in finance, dad.”

“Oh? So what’s the plan, then?”

“I don’t know. I like Anthropology, or maybe something like PoliSci?”

“Politics? Really?”

“Yeah,” Elsa said, her jaw clenched. “I’d love to clean up some of the damage you’ve done to this country.”

A tense silence filled the air. Elsa crossed her arms over her chest and took a nice long sip of champagne.

Until Iduna piped up, “Well, if you want my opinion—”

“I don—" Elsa started.

“—a pretty young thing like you can’t work around Bill right now.”

Agnarr guffawed again. Profoundly. He raised his glass and cheered, “Oh ho ho!” Like he won some kind of stupid battle he wasn’t even in.

Anna was utterly lost. She’d already downed one whole glass of Cristal and poured herself an entire new one without anybody noticing. Hah. Classic.

She didn’t really want to admit she was, like, this stupid or politically unaware or whatever but she also wanted to feel like part of the conversation, so she said, “Wait, what? Has something happened?”

Hans gave Anna the benefit of the doubt. “Nah, but he’s known for being a pussy hound.”

“Okay! Enough! That’s not why I said I wanted to major in PoliSci. We don’t need to get into—"

“No, no, no. This is important, Elsa. You better watch out,” Agnarr said, ignoring her plea entirely. “Listen, I don’t know how a man like Bill gets it up for a woman like Hillary. She looks like such a dyke. Not that I respect the bastard that much, but he could have any broad he wants. Any broad like you.”

“No—” Elsa raised her voice, but Iduna chuckled.

“Since she’s got my cheekbones!”

Elsa’s entire face had turned a cherry red. She was mad. Fuming, really. “—you can’t say that.”

“I can say whatever the hell I want.”

“You can’t say that,” she repeated.

“Why not? You think you’re some holier-than-thou judge of character?”

Elsa’s jaw was still insatiably clenched. “I want to go home.”

“Els?” Anna reached out her hand to touch Elsa’s shoulder in a way she hoped brought at least a marginal amount of comfort.

“Seriously,” Elsa begged, her eyes glistening with what looked like fresh tears. “Can we turn this boat around? Please?”

A lump formed in Anna’s throat and she swallowed it down. She didn’t want today to end like this, so she tried to redirect. “Um… but—we’re having fun, aren’t we? You… how about we drink more champagne?”

Anna knew Elsa was mad. She knew that their parents had upset her beyond belief, but this was the only time she’d spent with all of them in the same place in… literally forever. She didn’t want it to end prematurely. No matter how mad Elsa was. Besides, Anna had been there, too. She’d been on the receiving end of comments like that countless times.

It stung, sure. But it wasn’t unexpected. That was just what happened when you spent time with Agnarr and Iduna. They were like parasites.

But the kind of parasite Anna still yearned to have in her life… if that made any sense at all?

Thankfully Elsa seemed to snap out of it a bit and turned back to Anna. “I’m sorry, yeah. You’re right. I…” She added in a whisper, “I shouldn’t let them get to me.”

“Yeah—no. Never!” Anna beamed. Crisis averted. “Drink more!”

Elsa took one big gulp of the champagne. “Maybe now’s as good a time as any. Um… I have something for you.”

“Oooh for me?!” Anna squealed when Elsa pulled out an envelope from her back pocket.

“Open it.”

It was the cutest handmade card ever. What Anna recognized instantly as something they would exchange as kids. Classic white printer paper, cut out into the shape of an A. And inside was the sweetest note of all time. Not long. Never long. Elsa wasn’t the most feelings-y. Or not so much that she wasn’t feelings-y, but she didn’t really have a knack for expressing all of the feelings that brewed deep inside her soul.

Inside this note of absolutely wonderfully sweet words was the fact that Elsa had decided to get her the most fun gift of all time—a night at the local roller rink. A disco roller rink night, too, which sounded five hundred million times more fun than any old roller rink night.

So, Anna squealed again. “Oh my God! Elsa! This sounds so, so, so fun! I’m so excited I can’t wait I’m, like, literally the most excited ever for real I’m, like, oh snap I’m rambling but that just means you know how excited I am!”

“I thought you’d like it.”

“Like it? I love it!”

“You can choose whenever you want to go. I can find a way to get here.”

“Okay! I can’t wait!”

Anna had always considered herself forever an experience over a material present person. And an experience present from Elsa of all people only made it all the more special. Quality time with her sister. Shit, she was so excited.

Honestly, ‘so excited’ hardly began to cover it. Anna was ecstatic. Absolutely ecstatic.

It felt almost like… everything was going perfectly. Kristoff’s music played in the background. Hans and her dad had started laughing and carrying on what seemed like meaningful conversation… Iduna was smiling to herself as she usually did on a Good Day. And here Elsa and Anna were. Together. For the first time in forever.

“I’m so happy!” Anna yelled this loud enough that everybody snapped to attention, expecting a speech or something of the like. “This has to be the best birthday I’ve ever had in my whole life. I… thank you for not forgetting. I know—that’s happened before, but—"

Iduna clicked her tongue. “What are you talking about? We’ve never forgotten your birthday. We’re your parents.”

…what?

Was Anna wrong? Had she made it up? She thought she remembered several birthdays in a row her parents had forgotten… since… probably since Elsa had been shipped off to boarding school. It happened at least every other year.

But.

Her mother seemed to think differently. And Anna knew she could be a bit dramatic sometimes.

So…

Maybe that was all a load of BS and Anna was actually absolutely bonkers.

Shit.

“Anna, dear, your mother’s right. We’d never forget your birthday,” Agnarr explained.

Okay, yeah. All right. So then she was literally bonkers. Batshit crazy. Living in some kind of crazy dream world?

“Okay,” was all Anna said, in a tiny voice. She didn’t know what to think.

Except that maybe she really was crazy after all.

But she tried to push that aside. Something to unpack a bit more later.

She needed to enjoy this moment.

And due to this decision, from that point on, the Duffy boat ride went smoothly. They drank their champagne. They finished a few bottles. More than any of them would care to admit, especially because Agnarr and Iduna served the alcohol to minors and whatever. But regardless, they had a great time. In the end.

Sure, Elsa refused to speak to their parents, but thankfully she was never put on the spot again so that really didn’t put a damper on anything.

Hans kept Agnarr company, Iduna kept to herself, and Anna and Elsa spent the entire time talking each other’s ear off about literally everything.

Anna made sure to include all of the dirty details of her own life. Her chest puffed out when she talked about Hans and everything they’d done to celebrate their not-relationship that Anna still continued to make Elsa believe was a real relationship.

But eventually, it came to an end.

The end of an era. The end of this somewhat happy family dynamic Anna wanted to have 100% of the time.

Agnarr and Iduna hugged the girls goodbye. They were getting dinner with some friends and had to dash.

Which left Elsa, Anna, and Hans to fend for themselves.

Anna was a little bit disappointed that her parents had left them alone, but after what she considered such a great afternoon, she didn’t want to dwell on it.

Focus on the positives, Anna! Keep those in mind!

So, she turned to Hans. The orchestrator. The one who made it all happen.

“Oooh, Hans!” Anna jumped up to give him a peck on the lips. “That was awesomesauce! Like, hands down the best birthday—I totally, totally loved it, thank you!”

“Hold that thought, babe,” he smiled, snaking one hand around her waist and using the other to cup her chin. “I’ve still got one more thing planned.”

“Really, really? You do?”

“To the beach house!”

Anna giggled. She loved him. She now officially loved her birthday. She couldn’t wait.

[hermionegranger56]

ok lads its time for my breakdown of folklore, something absolutely no one is asking for but here we are!! this album. thIs ALBUMMMM. dear GOD. the intersection of my two favorite things, taylor swift and indie folk???? i feel like i’m dreaming. when she announced the surprise drop i literally burst into tears and evidently for good reason lol.

anywho here’s the thing. Red has been my all time favorite album for 8 years now. it holds such an important place in my life and i never thought anything she did could come close (though Lover almost did). but this. THIS IS BETTER THAN RED

the lyrical genius is unmatched here. taylor isn’t just writing songs here, this is POETRY. every song is nuanced, intricate, devastatingly beautiful, with words that’ll haunt me for a long time. and the fact that it’s stories, literal folklore, no longer just about her own life is incredibly creative and is executed so well for someone who has interwoven her life into her entire body of music thus far. folklore blends facts with fiction so seamlessly and is a true exhibition of taylor’s power as a songwriter.

and the vibessss!! from haunting heartbreak songs, to ethereal lost-in-the-woods vibes, to a comforting return to her old self, this album has everything. taylor is without a doubt one of the most versatile artists of our generation, having success and skill in multiple genres and folklore only solidifies this fact.

ALL RIGHT KIDS LETS JUMP IN

the 1: hell yeah explicit tswift give it to me lol you ARE on some new shit!! ok when i first listened to this i hadn’t read her statement about the other perspectives and i was about to RIOT about her and joe breaking up (like they could ever lol). this is such a catchy beat, such a casual?? look at such a painful feeling? a really good start to this album. the part where she goes another day waking up aLONE killlllllls me wow

fave lines: “in my defense i have none/for never leaving well enough alone”

cardigan: (don’t get me started on the mv it’s gorgeous) YES THE TEENAGE LOVE TRIANGLE suchhh a good concept!! the melody of this song is unreal, the chorus makes me want to scream it’s so beautiful, the i-i-i is SOMETHING ELSE. it’s crazy how just the melody makes betty’s pain so palpable, but so enchanting at the same time. it’s bittersweet and cinematic and i’m in love. PETER LOSING WENDY GOD. easily top 5 song here

fave lines: “when you are young they assume you know nothing”, “cause i knew you/ heartbeat on the high line/ once in 20 lifetimes i” “you drew stars around my scars/but now i’m bleeding”

the last great american dynasty: watch hill!!! her watch hill house!! i live near there!! oh i think this song is so clever and i love how it ties into mad woman as well as harkens back to starlight. i LOVE the way she ties her self in, “and then it was bought by me” like ughhh her mind? and its catchy AF

fave lines: “i had a marvelous time ruining everything”

exile: YOU KNOW HOW TO DO AN INDIE ALBUM??? BRING BON IVER INTO THIS SHIT!! wowww this song is haunting and is definitely the “i’m you but stronger” version of The Last Time. the overlap of both of them singing and their parallel lines are flawless. i could play this on repeat for hours and contemplate my whole existence

fave lines: “you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs”

my tears ricochet: ok somehow a track 5 with tears in the title is not the saddest song here but DAMN is it good. I love the visual of someone watching over their funeral and reacting. the music is stunningggg here. ALSO i am pretty convinced this is about the whole scott/scooter drama, like the lyrics fit so well? and she said it was the first song she wrote so the timeline kinda fits?? geniusss

fave lines: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”, “and if i’m dead to you/why are you at the wake?”

mirrorball: ohhhh this one is so pretty!! it just makes me want to dance around the kitchen with the person i love??? its comforting, ethereal, happyyy ugh i love it. I also think it could be about her relationship with her fans? like her music shows us different sides of ourselves idk? or just absorbing into a relationship?

fave lines: “on my tallest tiptoes/shining just for you”

seven: i’m gonna call this now: this is going to be the most underrated song on this album. it is STUNNING. POETIC. HEARTBREAKING. the music is so hauntingly nostalgic. and the lyrics, holy absolute shit. they’re a delicate testament to childhood, memory, and innocent love. it’s gut wrenching and i love it so so much

fave lines: “i’ve been meaning to tell you/i think your house is haunted/your dad is always mad/and that must be why”, “and just like folk song/our love will be passed on”, “before i learned civility/ i used to scream ferociously” ALL OF IT

august: and now we get the girl james cheated with’s perspective, which i think is great. its sunny, wistful and sad underneath all that beautiful production. when she slides from the chorus to the “back when we we’re changing for the better” and hits that “mineeee to lose” GOD, it just fills your chest. i feel like even if you never have, this makes anyone feel like they know exactly what a summer fling feels like. one of my faves

fave lines: “august slipped away/like a bottle of wine”, “cancel my plans just in case you call/ and say meet me behind the mall”

this is me trying: the slow pacing of this melody serves to show these EXQUISITE lyrics here. this is so intimate and personal and i feel like everyone can relate to this feeling of just trying to hold on and put on a brave face?

fave lines: “they told me all of my cages were mental/ so i got wasted like all my potential”

illicit affairs: ok all you need to know about this one is a) I’m obsessed b) this is the closest she has come to creating a bridge that makes me feel like the All Too Well bridge has, like scream sobbing in the car type vibe??? its unreal. and this song makes me feel that shitty feeling of: “this was supposed to be casual but oops its very much not” hmmm maybe that’s where the scream sobbing comes from hahah

fave lines: “don’t call me kid/don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string: this. THIS is probably her most stunning love song. like. i thought it was Lover. i was wrong. this one is confidently from Taylor’s perspective, about Joe and dear lord i want a love like theirs. and shit does this song put the folk in folklore, the music is so simple and gorgeous and harkens back to her country roots without losing this new sound she has. and the first few notes remind me of Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens so instantly im sold. this and betty are tied for my number 1, it’s just too beautiful

fave lines: “time curious time/give me no compasses/give me no signs” “isn’t it just so pretty to think/all along there was some invisible string/tying you to me”, “cold was steel of the axe that i had to grind/for the boys who broke my heart/now i buy their babies presents”, “hell was the journey/but it brought me heaven”

mad woman: FUCK YOU FOREVERRRRRR!!! yes taylor said fuckkkk ugh i LOVE this vibe, the revenge of the mad woman that the town cast out is so eerie and powerful, i’m obsessed. it ties back into the maddest woman of TLGAD and it feels like a spiritual sequel to The Man, the same feminist thread weaving through it. the lyrics are razor sharp and biting, i love it

fave lines: “and you poke that bear/till the claws come out/ and you find something/ to wrap your noose around”, “it’s obvious wanting me dead has really brought you two together”

epiphany: so uhhh THIS is the saddest song on folklore. fight me. the seamless comparison between wartime and the pandemic and waiting for some epiphany that could make sense of all the horrors surrounding the both. idk man, as someone who’s been a covid nurse since March, i just….this one HURTS. similar to Soon You’ll Get Better tbh

fave lines: “hold your hand through plastic now/doc i think she’s crashing out/and somethings you just can’t speak about”

betty: OH I LOVE IT WITH MY WHOLE HEART! this is such a TRIUMPHANT return to old taylor, it is so joyful but sad at the same time?? the harmonica?? the last part of the love triangle?? it sounds like Taylor Swift and Fearless all grown up and it makes me ache for back then, but love where we are right now. tbh the first time i heard this i sobbed through the whole thing just out of pure nostalgia. she’s back but at the same time she never left. this feels like a love song to original fans and it. is. incredible. my favoriteeee goddd

fave lines: THE WHOLE CHORUS BABYYYYY

peace: it’s gorgeous, especially the guitarrr ugh. this feels like delicate’s quiet older sister. i think it’s definitely about joe and how taylor, despite loving him, still has these insecurities and fears about what a relationship with someone in her position could be like? like there will be struggles, but he’s her family and she “would die for you in secret”. stunning

fave lines: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm”, “the devils in the detail/but you’ve got a friend in me”, “give you my wild/give you a child”

hoax: i’m surprised she ended it on a sad one (but we still have the lakes!!) but this song is hauntingly beautiful WOW. every line of this absolutely floors me. i think this one will also be largely underrated, but it is pure poetry and deserves so so much hype

fave lines: “stood on the cliffside/screaming give me a reason/your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in”, “it still hurts underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark” “my kingdom come undone/ my broken drum/ you have beaten my heart”

ANYWHO TAYLOR HAS PRODUCED HER BEST WORK TO DATE AND IM READY FOR SAD GIRL AUTUMN

[keichanz]

Shadows

i stayed up past my bedtime to finish this lmao whoops ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

drama? in my inuyasha family au? it’s more likely than you think l;ajdfoiajdf 

*maniacal cackling*

Spooktober Day 24: Shadows

so when are we gonna tell em?

Parked on the street in front of Izayoi’s school, Inuyasha whiled away the time on his phone while he waited for his daughter to emerge from the building. He’d gotten out of work early enough that he’d had time to go home and change before driving the short trip to pick her up from school. Usually Kagome drove both of them home since it made more sense; Tai would either walk to her classroom after his lessons or she’d go to him, and usually Izayoi waited outside for her mom to pick her up.

This time he figured he’d save her the trouble since he had the time anyway, and he always loved the look of pleased surprise on his babygirl’s face when she spotted his truck waiting outside for her. A daddy’s girl through and through, Inuyasha wasn’t ashamed to admit that part of the reason he’d wanted to pick her up himself was to selfishly spend time together, just the two of them, even if it was only ten minutes on the way home.

His phone chimed with a new text and Inuyasha tapped the notification to open it up.

Mmm I think it’s best to wait until after Iz’s birthday. Don’t wanna steal her thunder.

steal her thunder? she’d probs think it’s the best bday gift ever kagome

She’s turning 13 Inuyasha. That’s sort of a big deal and it wouldn’t be fair.

kagoooomeeeeeeeeeee

After her birthday, Inuyasha. You can wait a few more days can’t you? <3

Chuckling, Inuyasha sent a brief “love you wench” and put his phone away with a sigh before glancing out the window toward the school. It was just before 3 pm, so Iz should be coming out any time now—

Inuyasha froze, sat up straight in his seat, and then leaned forward amber eyes narrowed dangerously. His lip curled and a low growl rumbled in his throat as his hand clenched tightly on the steering wheel, claws digging into the black leather, but he didn’t notice.

Some punk was chatting up his babygirl and standing way too fucking close. Inuyasha was out of the truck and storming toward them before he even realized what he was doing, murder on his face and golden eyes boring a hole through the punk’s head that dared flirt with his daughter. She was too good, too pure for the likes of him, for anybody, and he’d be damn sure to let the little asswipe know that in no uncertain terms.

“...And the skirt is going to be layered brown lace with some white ruffles—ugh, I’m sorry, this would be a lot easier if I had a phone so I can just show you a picture. Sorry I don’t have one yet.”

Izayoi blushed and gave an awkward smile, embarrassed that she lacked something most kids her age already had. Heck, even Rin had a phone. Granted, she was a year older, but she’d gotten it months before she turned thirteen. If it weren’t for her overprotective father and worrywart of a mother, she’d probably have one by now. Or at least she liked to think so.

Ugh, her life sucked.

Raiden smiled. “Nah, it’s cool,” he assured with a one-shouldered shrug, blue-green eyes warm as gave a lazy grin. “Mine was a gift for my fifteenth birthday so I haven’t had it long. Couple months, tops.”

He shrugged and laughed and oh well would ya look at that, her life suddenly sucked a lot less. Who knew a one Raiden Mashimo was the solution to a sucky life?

“That’s awesome!” she gushed, perhaps a bit too excitedly, and Izayoi flushed again before clearing her throat and saying much more calmly, “I’m hoping I’ll get one for my birthday too in a few days. I feel so left out, you know?”

She shrugged helplessly and smiled and gosh darn it he was just so freakin’ good-looking.

Raiden visibly perked up, his head tilting a little to the side as he queried, “Your birthday’s soon?”

Dear god why was she blushing again? “Um, y-yeah. Next week, actually. Monday.”

The dark-haired teenager grinned. “Wicked. And I have an idea now: how about after school, we can go the Halloween store and you can help me pick out my costume to match yours? Then afterward, if-if you want to, that is, we can maybe...I dunno, go somewhere and get some celebratory hot chocolate, or somethin’.”

Raiden offered a shy smile and rubbed the back of his neck. Izayoi wanted to gape because it was the first time she’d ever seen him anything other than his usual confident, easy-going self and she found this shy, sweet side of him made her heart race in her chest as butterflies erupted in her belly.

“Oh,” she breathed, her eyes widening as she realized what that meant. A smile slowly bloomed across her face and she bit down on her lip, fighting against the urge to hop around in excitement like an idiot. A date! He’d asked her out on a date!

“I—I mean,” he continued, wincing a little as pink dusted the bridge of his nose and cheeks. “If you’re doing something with your family or whatever I completely understand, we can do it the next day or—”

“No!” Izayoi hurriedly interjected, waving her hands and shaking her head vigorously. At his startled look, she blushed and elaborated, “Er, I mean no, I don’t have anything planned, and yes I’d love to go with you.”

Visibly relieved, Raiden’s lazy grin reappeared and he nodded. “O-okay. Good. Cool. I mean—” He coughed and tried again. “Sounds like a plan. So should I wait for you or—uh...”

Raiden’s eyes suddenly went very wide as his gaze shifted behind her and Izayoi frowned.

“Raiden? Are you ok—”

The deep, dangerous growl that reverberated from behind her was very familiar and the sound, filled with lethal warning, had the bottom dropping out of her stomach and her heart jumping up into her throat. She stiffened and sucked in a sharp breath, ears pinning into her silver hair as horror seized her every thought.

No, she thought, even as she watched Raiden take a tentative step backward, noting how he kept shooting her nervous glances. Belatedly Izayoi noticed the shadow that had fallen over her and never before had she wanted so much to crawl under a rock and die. No, no, no, no nononononooooo...

Despite his obvious trepidation, however, Raiden – bless his heart – swallowed his nervousness and offered a wavering smile.

“A-ah, um, M-Mister Taisho,” the younger dog demon began, recovering from the initial shock of the imposing and slightly frightening figure the half-demon made. He cleared his throat and though still clearly nervous, he dipped into a shallow bow of respect.

Izayoi wanted to give him a big kiss for standing his ground and not running away. She knew from personal experience how intimidating her stupid dad could be sometimes and she knew he was purposely laying it on thick right now in an attempt to scare Raiden away. She knew she liked him for a reason and she may have just fallen a little harder for him right then.

“It’s…nice to meet you, sir,” Raiden said a little haltingly, however not once did he look away from the half-demon’s intimidating glare. “Uh, my name is Raiden Mashimo. I…go to school with Izayoi.”

When Inuyasha did nothing but continue to glower fiercely at him, arms crossed with a light scowl on his face, Raiden faltered slightly and glanced at Izayoi. She could do nothing but offer a trembling, apologetic smile, face burning in embarrassment while her eyes begged him to forgive her. If Raiden never talked to her again after this, she was never going to forgive her stupid overbearing father.

Raiden returned he smile, though it came across as more of a grimace, and swallowed thickly before focusing his attention back on her silent father. Inuyasha’s jaw tightened but he said nothing.

“We were just, uh, talking about our costumes. For the party. At…your house?”

Inwardly Raiden winced and wanted to kick himself. Oh yeah. Real smooth, idiot.

That finally received a response and the half-demon narrowed his eyes before growling, “Costumes?”

Encouraged, Raiden seemed to breathe a little easier as he nodded eagerly. “Yeah! I mean even though she lives there, we decided we’re gonna go together and, y’know, match up our cost—”

“I don’t think so,” Inuyasha cut him off, his tone cold and his stare hard.

Raiden balked and blinked in surprise. “What—”

“He means okay,” Izayoi hastily interjected in a voice unusually high pitched, her eyes wide and imploring as the stared at the boy in front of her. “Don’t worry, he’s just—”

“I mean,” Inuyasha snapped, shooting his daughter a sharp look to quell any further interruptions while simultaneously demanding her obedience, “that you’re not going anywhere with my daughter and you sure as hell ain’t gonna ‘match costumes.’ I can’t stop you from coming obviously, but I catch you anywhere near her and I will personally escort you off my property.”

Izayoi whimpered and smashed a hand over her mouth as her eyes brimmed with tears.

Raiden gaped incredulously as the half-demon finished with, “We clear, whelp?”

Dropping his gaze to the girl before him, Raiden stared into amber eyes glistening with unshed tears and easily read the desperate plea for him to forgive her for her father’s unfair behavior. She removed her hand and mouthed “I’m so sorry” over and over, shaking her head, and he sucked in a sharp breath.

Nodding once to her, hoping that she understood that he did not blame her at all, Raiden steeled himself and focused his attention back on her father, carefully schooling his expression.

“Understood, sir,” he murmured, gave another short bow, then meeting Izayoi’s teary gaze with an apologetic wince, Raiden turned and walked away, hands in his pockets and posture stiff as a board.

Inuyasha snorted as he watched the kid go, more or less satisfied with how that exchanged had gone. Granted, he’d looked more confused than truly intimidated as that had been what he’d been aiming for, but whatever. Didn’t matter as long as he got the message that his precious babygirl was off limits.

“Least this one seems to have more brains than the wolf’s brat,” he commented before dismissing the boy and heading for the truck. “Let’s go, Iz, it’s cold out and you forgot your jacket again.”

When he didn’t hear light footfalls following after him, Inuyasha paused and looked over his shoulder with a frown. Izayoi hadn’t moved, still standing there staring in the direction that little punk had wandered off to. It appeared she hadn’t even heard him ears completely immobile and face blank.

His frown deepened. “Izayoi,” he called. “Let’s go. Your mom’s probably wondering where we are by now and I’ll have ten missed calls and thirty-seven texts on my phone.”

Once more he went ignored and Inuyasha sighed impatiently. She couldn’t be that hung up on some kid, could she? He opened his mouth to demand she get her butt in gear, unafraid to stalk over and carry her if he had to, but then the salty scent of tears drifted over to him on the breeze and Inuyasha faltered. What the—was she...was she crying? What the hell—

“Iz?” he asked, turning around and crossing the distance between them. “What’s wro—”

“How could you?” Izayoi suddenly hissed and the amount of venom in her voice had Inuyasha stopping in his tracks.

Inuyasha studied her silently for a moment, trying to figure out why she was so upset, but when nothing came to him he shook his head and asked carefully, “How could I wh—”

“How could you?!” his daughter shrieked this time, whirling around to pin him with a fierce, baleful glare it momentarily took Inuyasha aback. Tears were running unchecked down her face, her hands were clenched into tight fists, and her ears were flattened against her head.

Recovering quickly and unwilling to let his child get away with such a show of temper, especially to him, Inuyasha pinned her with a glare of his own and bared his fangs as a warning growl echoed in his throat.

“Watch your tone, pup—”

“No,” Izayoi snapped, glowering at him even more fiercely as the tears continued to spill down her cheeks. “I can’t believe you just—I can’t even—ugh!”

With a wordless cry of fury, the young hanyou growled her aggravation before abruptly spinning on her heel and storming away, back stiff with anger and teeth clenched so tight her jaw ached. She tried to ignore the hallow ache in her chest, tried to swallow the sob of despair that welled up in her throat and fought to escape past her lips as her stomach clenched painfully. She felt cold all over and was vaguely aware that she was shaking, but none of that mattered.

Her mental anguish far outweighed anything that she might have been feeling on the physical plane because Izayoi was positive now that Raiden would never talk to her again and it was all her stupid dad’s fault.

“Hey!” Inuyasha called after her, but she ignored him. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going? Get in the truck, Izayoi. I’m taking you home and we can discuss this—”

“I’m walking,” Izayoi spat back at him without stopping or even looking at him. Like hell she was going to voluntarily be in the same space as him right now. She was too angry, too hurt; she couldn’t even look at him without wanting to break down and weep. Just thinking about it had another sob catching in her throat but she bit it back, pressing her lips together as her eyes burned with more tears.

“The hell you are,” her father snapped and stomped after her. “Quit the attitude and get in the truck, Izayoi. Now.”

Izayoi ignored him and kept walking, a little faster this time.

Cursing a blue streak, Inuyasha stopped, crossed his arms, and barked, “Truck now or you’re grounded.”

His daughter stopped. Straightened her shoulders. Then whirled around to pin him with a withering glare so intense, if looks could kill he’d be six feet under by now.

Unmoved, Inuyasha stared back evenly, not giving an inch, however the slight narrowing of his eyes, a not so subtle warning, suggested she would do well to heed his demand and promptly.

Izayoi glared murderously at him for another minute, no doubt pissed off that he’d used such an unfair threat, then finally did ass he was told and stalked toward the vehicle still sitting on the street.

Inuyasha waited until she was inside with the door shut, not putting it passed her to bolt at the last second, before following suit, jogging the rest of the way just in case she decided to get smart and lock him out. Thankfully she did and when he slid behind the wheel she refused to look at him, arms folded tightly across her chests as she glowered out the window.

She was still shaking and Inuyasha turned up the heat before pulling away and making a U-turn to head home.

“You gonna tell me what the hell all that was or you gonna keep being pissy?” he asked her, flicking a glance at his silent daughter through the review before looking straight again.

Izayoi tightened her jaw but otherwise did not respond, remaining in stony silence.

Inuyasha sighed and hung a right. He hated fighting with her, but sometimes it was the only way to solve the problem at hand. How fortuitous to be blessed with a daughter with a temper that matched his own?

And by fortuitous be meant annoying as fuck.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re so mad about,” Inuyasha growled as he turned onto their street a few minutes later, “but this attitude needs to stop, right now, because if you think I’m gonna let you talk to your mother like you did with me, you got another think comin’, kiddo.”

Izayoi scoffed loudly and grabbed her backpack, getting ready to open the door and bolt the instant they pulled into the driveway. Another wave of tears pricked the back of her eyes and she bit down hard to stifle the whimper that threatened to escape. Her chest ached, her throat tightened, and she squeezed her eyes shut tight.

Glancing at her in the review, Inuyasha frowned but didn’t say anything more since they were just about home anyway. Predictably Kagome’s SUV was already parked in front of the garage and he pulled in next to it, hoping that the brief car ride had cooled her temper somewhat like it had his.

He hadn’t even put the truck in park before Izayoi opened the door and darted out so fast she didn’t even bother to close the door behind her. Inuyasha cursed and hurriedly shifted into park before cutting the engine and hastily following after her, not wanting to spare the extra second to close her door but he did.

Kagome was in the kitchen fixing up an after school snack for her daughter while Tai watched cartoons in the other room when the side door suddenly slammed open and the hanyou in question came tearing through it.

“Iz—” she tried but her daughter didn’t even spare her a glance and Kagome heard what sounded like a muffled sob as Izayoi tore past her and ran toward the stairs, not even bothering to take them one at a time and instead using her hanyou strength to launch herself to the top in two leaps. Seconds later another slam reverberated throughput the house as she closed herself in her room.

“Izayoi!” her husband barked a second later right before he came crashing through the door and Kagome blinked.

“Oh, dear,” she whispered and putting down the peanut butter covered butter knife, Kagome hurriedly moved to intercept the obviously ticked off hanyou intent on following their daughter.

“Dammit—” Inuyasha hissed, scowling as he stormed after his rebellious offspring, but small hands were suddenly pressed against his chest, stopping his warpath, and he turned his glower on his wife.

“Outta the way, Kagome, I need to—”

“No,” Kagome said firmly, her tone brooking no room for argument. “Not like this, you aren’t. I have no idea what happened, but you need to sit down and cool your temper before you go talking to her because you’ll just end up making it worse.”

He snapped his jaw shut and glared at her, offended.

She shrugged because it was true; she knew first hand how her daughter and husband’s arguments could be like because she was often in the middle of them.

“Go sit, drink some cider,” Kagome told him, firmly but gently as she reached up to fondly tweak his ear. “Let me talk to her first, okay? Sometime tells me you’re the last person she wants to see right now, anyway.”

And it was if those words took the wind right out of his sails because Inuyasha deflated, ears lowering as he closed his eyes, shoulders slumping. Dammit, she was right, as usual; his daughter could be just as headstrong as him, and if he went to her now, they’d just end up in another shouting match, getting nowhere fast.

Kagome’s hand on his cheek prompted him to open his eyes to find her smiling gently at him, her caramel colored eyes warm with understanding and his throat tightened as a whine threatened to escape.

“Let me talk to her,” she repeated and leaned up to kiss his jaw. “It’ll be fine, love. Just give it some time. I’ll be back soon.”

With that she patted his cheek and headed for the stairs to get the story from their clearly distraught daughter.

Inuyasha took a steadying breath, pinched his nose, and wandered into the living room to see to their five-year-old. He could hear little sounds of distress coming from him, no doubt wondering what was just happened, and he couldn’t bear to have both of his children upset.

At least this one didn’t want to tear his face off, Inuyasha sourly mused as he hefted Tai into his arms where he immediately burrowed into him and then sank down onto the couch to wait.

He hated waiting.

Mercifully it wasn’t long at all before he heard the sound of a door being closed and light footsteps coming down the stairs a few seconds later. Reclined on the couch with Tai napping against him, Inuyasha’s ears perked up and he turned his head as Kagome entered the living room. Her small smile was encouraging, but he didn’t let his hopes get too high; it was entirely possible Izayoi still didn’t want to talk to him. He didn’t know if it was because she was female, nearly a teenager, or just because she had his blood in her veins, but when his daughter held a grudge, she held a grudge.

Kagome settled beside him and smiled down at their napping son, smoothing back his hair. She was silent as she gathered her thoughts, trying to find a way to explain as best as she can without upsetting him again because she knew he wasn’t gong to like what she had to say.

“Well, she told me what happened,” she remarked with a sigh. “And I know you’re not going to like this, but you shouldn’t have done that.”

Her husband set his jaw and looked away, glaring at the TV that at the moment had brightly colored cartoon characters on it.

Kagome shook her head, unsurprised at his reaction. “She really likes this boy, Inuyasha. And you embarrassed her by putting on your ‘I’m-so-intimidating’ act and pretty much forbidding her from going near him and vice versa. And threatening to escort him off the property if he gest too close? Inuyasha...”

Said hanyou scowled and refused to comment.

Kagome dropped her gaze to Tai’s sleeping face and tenderly smoothed back his bangs, remembering when her little girl was this small and she was still able to pick her up. She couldn’t believe she was going to be a teenager in just a few short days. How time flies...

“She’s too good for him,” Inuyasha suddenly grumbled, a slight pout of his face. “She’s...she’s innocent, too young to be thinking about boys.”

Kagome smiled. Now she understood.

“Inuyasha,” she began softly, moving her hand to cradle her husband’s jaw and adding gentle pressure to get him to meet her eyes. “Whether you like it or not, she’s going to be thirteen in just a few short days. She’s going to start being more independent, more outspoken and rebellious, and yes, she’s going to start dating, too.”

Inuyasha flinched and looked about ready to argue, but Kagome spoke up before he could get a word in edgewise.

“I know it’s a little hard to accept, but she’s not going to be your little girl forever, Inuyasha.”  

He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes with a wince, the words painful to hear however true they were.

Kagome smiled sadly and continued, “You can’t be her constant shadow, protecting her from everything and essentially stunting her growth. She needs room to grow, to make a few mistakes and learn from them, to become a lovely young woman with a good head on her shoulders. She’s not stupid, Inuyasha, you and I both know that. She’s fully capable of taking care of herself, or do I need to remind you of Daisuke?”

Inuyasha blinked and then a slow grin curved his mouth upward, recalling how she’d broken the brat’s nose for being too forward. Heh. She could take care of herself, couldn’t she?

Kagome suddenly sighed and stood up, leaning down to take Tai from his arms and cradle him against her shoulder; he remained fast asleep.

“I don’t think she’s ready to talk yet,” she said, casting a glance at the ceiling. “Let her come to you, alright? I know you want to fix this, but you won’t get anywhere if only one of you are willing to mend the bridge.”

Sighing in defeat, Inuyasha nodded and thrust a hand through his hair. She was right. Again, goddammit.

Slim fingers caught his ear and rubbed the soft flesh soothingly. Inuyasha closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

“It’ll be okay,” she whispered before warm lips pressed against his cheek. “Just give it time.”

With one last warm smile, Kagome left, probably to take Tai up to his room to have the rest of his nap in peace.

Inuyasha watched her go and withheld a whine.

Fuck, he really hated waiting.

It was just after 9 pm when Inuyasha padded down the carpeted hallway to her room, steaming cup of hot cocoa in his hand and hopeful mindset. Izayoi had only come out of her room to eat dinner and shower before retreating from whence she came. Though she still wouldn’t look at him – or even acknowledge him, really – his daughter was no longing glaring death at him so he would call that an improvement.

Maybe it still wasn’t the right time, but he couldn’t wait anymore. He’d done nothing but think about what happened and now he wanted to reconcile with his little girl. He wanted to feel one of her hugs, wanted her to smile at him again, and he desperately wanted to hear her say “I love you, daddy.”

Even if his efforts were wasted, he at least wanted to try.

Stopping before her door, Inuyasha took a breath and knocked.

“Iz?” he called out softly, confident she could hear him through the heavy wood. “Can we, uh, talk?”

Nothing.

Ears lowering, he tried again. “I brought you some hot cocoa. The way you like it, with the marshmallows and whipped cream.”

More silence. Not even a rustle of clothing, though he did hear the gentle whistling of the wind outside.

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the door. “Please, babygirl. I just wanna talk. Can you let me in?”

Still nothing, and Inuyasha frowned. “Iz?”

Taking a chance, he turned the knob and cracked open the door enough to peer inside. He wasn’t expecting it to be dark inside his daughter’s room and instantly concerned, he opened the door the rest of the way. When he didn’t see her right away the beginnings of panic started to set in and he whipped his head around, amber eyes searching the shadows of the room for his daughter, and he was just about ready to bellow her name when a he felt crisp wind on his face and something fluttering in his peripheral.

Inuyasha snapped his head toward the window—and relaxed, the breath whooshing but of his lungs as realization dawned.

Heaving a sigh as his ears drooped low – it looked like he wouldn’t be getting that talk tonight – Inuyasha ambled over to the open window where the curtains were gently swaying in the breeze and set the mug of hot cocoa down on the nightstand beside the window.

Hidden within the shadows of the large oak tree in their backyard, Inuyasha caught a flash of silver and gold as Izayoi pretended she hadn’t noticed him at her window and the older half-demon tried very hard to ignore the ache in his chest as he left his daughter’s bedroom without a word.

[ansgar-martinsson]

The Best Intentions - Part 7

“You know, Joline, you remind me of someone,” Ansgar chuckled, lifting his fingers to wave languidly at the passing jogger. He laughed harder when said jogger did a double take and turned his head quickly away. “Someone I knew in America.”

“Really?” Joline replied. “I remind you of an American woman?”

He nodded. “You are very American in your demeanor, but in only the good ways.”

“In the good ways, huh?”

“Yes,” Ansgar bowed his head slightly. “In the good ways.”

“As opposed to like… the bad ways?”

Ansgar inhaled, his eyes widening. “Oh, there are many, many bad ways, believe me.”

“Like what?”

Ansgar snorted. “Like…,” he blinked, pulling down his lower lip in a slight cringe, “a bizarre obsession with American football and baseball, a love for tiger-piss beer, a craving for over processed foods, hyper-consumerism and and an overt label consciousness,” he frowned, still considering. “Not to mention a need to be considered independent paired with a constant demand to be pampered, kowtowed to, and fawned upon, and a tendency to be offended by the slightest thing and then post a crusade on Facebook about it. That sort of thing.”

She sucked air through her teeth. “Yeah, bad ways. I get it. So, who was she? This American in the good ways who I remind you of.”

“Her name is Kay. Kay Browntree. She’s in the construction business, a flooring contractor. Has her own business, very ambitious. But she has her boots on the ground for all of her work. Very hands-on. Grout under the fingernails and all that. I liked that about her.”

“A girlfriend?”

Ansgar sighed. “A potentiality that never came to fruition, I’m afraid. I was in Chicago on a project, she was one of my subcontractors. Unfortunately, I had to move on to another project across the country.”

“Why do I remind you of her?”

Ansgar lifted his eyes in thought. He crossed his legs as he twisted to face her, one arm draped languidly in his lap, the other remained perched atop the back of the bench. “Many reasons, I suppose. Kay makes me laugh – a rare thing indeed. She’s carefree. She gives zero shits about who I am, about my bank account or about appearances or personal hierarchies or societal proprieties. She speaks her mind, damn the consequences. She’s honest, transparent, hard-working, and driven. There’s nothing false about her. What I see is what I get. Much like you.”

In short, nothing like Faye. Nothing at all like Faye.

“Oh,” she intoned. “Tell me more.”

He laughed again, but his face softened. He reached toward her and brushed a lock of her dark hair away from her eye, drawing the soft strands gently between finger and thumb. “I see… I see a soft sophistication to you– a knowledge of art, a taste for luxury, an appreciation of the beauty in machinery and an admiration of the finer things. I see an innate grace in the way you move – in the way you shook out your hair when you took off your helmet, for example.” He shrugged. “She’s a lot like you in those ways as well.”

Her eyes widened, just that little bit, Ansgar noted, a microexpression of self-conscious surprise, a shiver at his touch. She shifted further on the bench, crossing one leg beneath the other, her booted foot dangling off the edge of the bench. She leaned against the back, her elbow hooked around the wood slat, her hand dangling just near her breast.

Ansgar couldn’t help but look.

And she caught him looking. She peered down at her own chest, and knowingly lifted her eyes back to him, her hand open in an indicative gesture. “Oh, I get it. Really, it’s just that she’s got great tits like mine.”

Ansgar choked, his eyes gone wide, his mouth formed into a hollow ‘o’. He recovered quickly, flipping a sardonic yet appreciative quirk of an eyebrow. “Noooo,” he crooned. “Yours are far better.”

It was her turn to choke. She sat bold upright, staring incredulously at him. “Excusemewhat?”

He formed his features into a comical ‘oops’ face, his eyebrows shot high, his lips puckered, his hand covering his mouth in a gesture of mock delicate prudishness. “Oh, did I say that out loud? Well. Hmmmmm.” His lips curled in a wicked half-grin. “That must mean that I find you sexy as well.”

“We’re doing brilliantly at keeping our partnership purely professional.” She dipped her head back to follow a bird in flight. “Nice alliteration.” “Thanks. It pops out sometimes.” She shifted on the bench, bending the knee under her to bring up to her chest. She tugged her foot as close to her bum, hugging her arms around it. Her other foot swung underneath the bench, her toes scraping an even tempo against the gravel. “Dad’s influence.” Ansgar saw her zealousness turn inward. The curse of loss taught him the same trick. He nearly opened his mouth to say something when she beat him to it. “He was American, you know,” she dropped in conversationally, without truly pausing to ask. “Got my guts, gumption, glory and grin from him.” A faux smile appeared, behind closed lips and a pensive look. “And my alliteration.” “But your surname… Lindberg, is Swedish, yes?” “My mother’s surname. My parents were… unconventional, never married, never lived in the same country. Scandalous!” She jazzhanded past that tidbit expecting outrage and judgement. When none came, she lifted her eyes to her companion. “Do you really want to hear all this? Or will you be reading the backs of your eyelids in sixty seconds?” Despite himself, Ansgar was intrigued by her. “Feel free to tell me as much or as little as you would like.” Jo’s eyes followed as a family of four chattered by, disrupting the atmosphere with all their ruckus. The baby cried, the toddler whined, the mother yelled and the father talked over all of them. “I’ll abbreviate. Dad worked for Zim International, that shipping company–” “I’m familiar with them. I held several contracts with them importing bamboo from Asia." "Oh, figures… all you executive types know each other.” He chuckled at the generalization, not at all offended by the stereotype. “I grew up here, near Gamla stan… until seventeen. I moved to America to go to uni, Norfolk it was, in Virginia. I stayed on there, graduated, worked, travelled…”

“And,” he flipped his hand, palm up in her direction, looking for another handout of information, “what made you move back here?”

Joline looked at him for a long moment, considering for as long as it took to make a decision on how much she should tell, how much was appropriate. She inhaled slowly, reciting the mantra on her arm over and over in her head.

Live life when you have it. Live life when you have it. Live life when you have it.

And so, she did. “I love my family; I needed them. I missed so much, my mother, my brother… He got married and had kids while I was away. I’d never met my sister-in-law. I didn’t meet my nephews until much later. My mother got sick. I missed so much. And then my marriage fell apart while I was living in Florida.”

“You’re married?”

“Was. Right out of uni. We were young and stupid and playing grown-ups, but we weren’t compatible. It was a mistake, one I’m glad to have made only so I don’t repeat it,” she sighed, playing at a rueful smile. “When there was no affection left in it, we went our separate ways. He went off to DC, and the offer for the Globe workshop fell in my lap. The Globe led me back here, put me in the running for the Opera House, and here I am.”

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he couldn’t find any other words to say. His thumb tucked in against his palm to follow that familiar track to the gold band on his ring finger. He didn’t spin it this time, only tapped it, reminding himself it was still there.

She smiled sadly, but there were no hard feelings of resentment or sadness in her features. “No need to apologize.  Sometimes two people aren’t meant to be together. That’s not always tragic or the end of the world.” She stretched out her legs again, unraveling from the coil she’d put herself into. “I loved him once and I remember that. A part of me, my younger self, the overgrown teenager self, still loves Steven… always will. But she’s not all of me and I’m not quite her anymore. I don’t know if it happened suddenly or over time, but one day I just knew. I needed my family… and they needed me.”

Ansgar nodded. “Family, yes…,” he he paused for a moment in thought, his lips pursed. His eyes focused on nothing in particular… a boat in the distance… as the impact of Joline’s story washed over him.

He thought of his own losses. His own journey, the ways in which he’d shed skin after skin, identity over identity over the past few years. The way in which he’d, as Faye had put it, gone soft. Soft in Faye’s estimation, however, was still as prickly as The Iron Throne to the rest of the world. He thought of Magnus, of Rebecka, and of their child. Their children, now, plural. Thought of the way they had welcomed him back into their home, into their arms, into their world – no questions asked, no consternation about him being for all intents and purposes dead for a year and a half.

And to know Joline had lived that, or something like it as well gave him the sense of a kindred pull to her spirit. A knowledge. An understanding, and the weight of it, the warmth of it settled upon him like a blanket.

“Family is everything, isn’t it?” he finished his thought at last. “I mean, when you come down to it, no matter what sort of shit you get into, no matter how much you hurt them, no matter what pain you endure, no matter how long you’re… you’re gone, no matter how much you change, no matter how hard you try to disappear, it’s your family that… that….”

The sound of a screaming child from just to his right yanked him from his reverie. He shook his head, blinking hard, and gave a breathy chuckle, smiling ruefully up at Joline. He sighed. “Well,” he shrugged, “let’s just say it’s a good job you had your family to come home to.”

He pressed his hands to the bench and shifted forward to stand, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Ansgar.”

“What!?” he snapped, but his eyes softened in almost immediate apology. Live life when you have it, right?  “Look, Joline,” he sighed. I’m just going to come right out and say it. I think you’ve sussed by this point that I am rather… intrigued by you. Even more now that we’ve had this talk.”

“Yeah, I think I get that.” She smiled. “And I kind of want to jump your bones, too, so what’s the problem?”

“Complications,” he said, “albeit minor ones.” His lips curved in a melancholy smile. He stayed perched on the end of the bench, his knees spread wide, and he bent forward, elbows rest on his thighs. He clasped his hands together between, his thumbs working one against the other. “Things we should lay out on the table before we continue.”

“With our partnership? You’re not having second thoughts or…?”

“No! Of course not,” Ansgar sat upright. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“But,” she stood then and rest her hands on her hips. “What are you talking about, then? I mean… how can we even think of anything personal when we’re working together?”

“I’m very good at compartmentalizing,” Ansgar declared. “We simply need limits… understandings. I’ve done it before.”

She frowned, cocking her hip. “Done what before?”

“Worked closely with someone,” he took a long breath, his jaw jut forward. “Someone with whom I’d engaged in another sort of relationship.” He stood, then, and stepped nearer, peering down at her, his eyes hooded and intent. “I would like to know if you can do the same.”

She narrowed her eyes, tilting her head and matching his gaze with her own. “I can, I think,” she said slowly. “But, first, I need to know who.”

“Who? What do you mean, who?”

“Who was the someone you worked with? Who were you working with and fucking at the same time?”

He blinked, and his breath caught in his chest at the blunt force of her question. He kept his mask in place, however, his muscles barely moving, his eyes not wavering at all as he said slowly, evenly, “Faye Valentine-Martinsson. My former VP of Security. My wife.”

She lifted her chin, ever so slightly, and her right eye twitched. “Your… wife,” she intoned. She shook her head, her breath hissing from her flared nostrils. “Damn. That ring on your finger you keep playing with…. I should have known.”

“Joline…” Ansgar grasped her arm. “You don’t understand….”

She slapped his hand off, stepping quickly back. “You know, I thought for a minute that maybe you weren’t like that… how silly of me, how stupid! How…ah, fuck all of this… all of it!”  She turned and ran, bolting down the gravel path, her boots kicking up small white rocks in her wake.

“Joline! Wait!” He pelted after her, quickly and easily catching up to her to run beside her. “Joline! Joline!”

…Joline… Joline! Please don’t take him just because you can.

“Leave me the hell alone!”

She increased her speed, but again, he matched, overtaking her. He passed her, cut her off, and quickly turned around, He caught her as she caromed into him, clutching her hard by both of her arms. “Stop,” he commanded. “For fuck’s sake, stop!”

“Let me go, Martinsson!” She writhed, grunting and growling against him, her leathers creaking against his.

“Hey!” He held her fast with an arm around her back. “Come on now! Listen!”

“You can’t…do this,” she seethed. “I won’t… I won’t be that… that woman!”

“What… oof! Ohhhh, fuck!” He groaned, bending over but keeping his grip on her. She’d turned in his arms and threw her elbow sharply backwards into his ribs. “Christ! What… what woman?”

“The other woman!” She gnarled, her teeth grit. “Won’t be your fucking mistress!” She kicked backwards, landing the heavy wooden heel of her boot squarely in the middle of his shin.

“Jesus fuck!” He howled and split his legs wide to avoid more blows. Likewise, he craned his neck to avoid her fists that flew at his face. “You… won’t be! You’re not…. ouch, damn you! Stop hitting me!”

“Fine! Then I’ll do this!” She lifted her foot and slammed it down hard upon his toes. “Fuck! Off!”

“Aargh! Stop that! That fucking hurts!” Ansgar released her, but swiftly whirled her back to face him. He grasped her by the head, one massive hand on either side, and he stilled her. First with a small shake, and then with his gaze, penetrating and sharp. Then with his voice, firm and commanding. “Joline! She left me! I. Am. Not. Married. Anymore!”

… and then, with a growl, he pulled roughly on her, drawing her firmly to him where he silenced her, at last, with his lips.

Joline grunted, her eyes slammed shut, not unexpectedly, but for the control she lost in the situation. All her fight instincts took flight, leaving her defenseless to Ansgar’s kiss. She opened to him, having lost her protestations, denials, angry outbursts of sexual frustration, and let his lips do the caressing, manipulating the last of her vigor.

His tongue swept across her parted lips, a brush against her lower lip, to test her, to make sure she wouldn’t bite as hard as she kicked. Instead she moaned as he tipped her head back to deepen the kiss. Boldly, encouraged by the heady auditory approval, Ansgar plundered her mouth with as much possessive greed as she had entered his office… and his life.

Joline hiked up on her booted toes to erase the last bit of distance between them, wanting for be consumed by the torrential heat blazing off of him. The tangle of tongues sent the sweetest torture of sensation straight to her core, her body heavy with need. One of his hands dug into her hair to hold her captive against his mouth, the other pressed into the small of her back, tipping her hips against his. Dull fingernails scraped along his scalp when she took hold of his curls.

Lust played an undeniable force around them like gravity held them to the Earth’s surface. Slaves to it, but masters of it within their sphere of two. Their friendly jogger, his sights on Ansgar, now making his fifth lap past them, cut his losses and kept going to beat off his own arousal at the picture the two made, a smash of leather, denim and desire.

Ansgar was the one to end the meld of lips and teeth and tongues, regrettably. He knew that if they went on as they were he’d tear her clothes from her body and take her right on the spot, the wandering curious gazes be damned.

Joline herself felt ready to jump into her arms, coil her long legs around him and search out the closest surface to fuck against. He tasted of coffee, sex, danger and she already felt the addictive streams pouring through her body, her pores itching for his fingers and mouth as a balm.

His breath panted against her lips, swollen and pink from the pressure of their passionate kiss and the burn of his goatee. But—Fuck! She was a vision! His influence on her for all to see, he was almost… enchanted by it. He dragged his thumb across her lip, “You’re delicious. I simply cannot wait to taste what other flavors you’re hiding.”

Joline kept her eyes closed, concentrating on the bursts of heated breath spreading over her abused lips and the vibrations from his lips to hers. “God-fucking-damn it, Martinsson!” Only her voice had dropped to a seductive purr instead of the angry tones from moments ago.

He dropped his mouth to her ear, his tongue rasped at the fleshy lobe just once before her murmured, “Search out other art on your skin.”

The five ink decorated skin spots hidden beneath her clothes tingled, sending out a honing signal for him to lock in on. Joline pried her eyes open as he lifted his face to peer into hers. The brassed off woman had been somewhat tamed by temptation, he could see it in the flush of arousal and the relaxed scowl. “If this is what ‘intrigued’gets me, I’m fucked if I ever pique your interest,” she quipped in a delayed response to his comment that led to the heated argument and equally as heated kiss.

The pride and arrogance displayed on him in the forming of a Cheshire grin. “You’re fucked either way, as soon as I get you alone,” he replied confidently.

“I was half hoping you’d be shit at the kissing bit,” she groused. Her hands and the rest of her trembled in her heightened arousal, her libido blaring red to near overload.

He smirked, his fingers playing in her hair once more, wondering at her natural color, “Should I apologize or thank you for the backhanded compliment?”

She sighed dejectedly, “Which drawer have you shoved me into then?” Her words adopted a combative tone but she was still pressed salaciously against him.

The slight didn’t faze him as it would anyone else. He recovered within the blink of an eye, “Joline, I didn’t mean you and you know that’s not what I meant by compartmentalizing.”

She pressed her shaking hands to his chest applying the slightest of pressure to extricate herself from his intoxicating embrace. It didn’t help, she wobbled like a newborn faun, her legs unsure after his seductive kiss. “I just need to know where I fit in your cupboard of playthings. One night stand? Fuckbuddy? Lover? Experiment? Trying me on to see if I fit? Mistress?” She hissed the last word.

Defensively, Ansgar grabbed her arms again, nailing her with his piercing gaze, rooting her to the spot. “I told you. My wife left me,” he ground out between clenched teeth. “You can’t be a mistress when there’s no spouse to cheat.”

She couldn’t explain her petulance. They’d only just met, she had no room to make demands on him. But she felt so strongly about being labeled… “I’m not a homewrecker. I don’t go after other women’s men. That’s not me. I’m not that woman! I won’t be!”

Exasperation colored his sigh of impatience as he dropped his chin to his chest. Women infuriated him at times, tested his limits and busted his balls. Getting laid shouldn’t be this difficult, especially when he reduced the woman to a quivering mess clearly affected by his kiss alone, as he’d done with Joline. “Christ, Joline, you’re not!”

“You’re wearing her ring… still. The one that you promised to love, honor, in sickness and all that rot, yes? It’s still on your finger where she placed it. So are you married or not?” She then crossed her arms under her breasts as if to shield herself from the truth or defend herself from crushing disappointment when he dismissed this thing as not worth the aggravation.

Ansgar’s eyes shifted back and forth between hers, assessing her stake in this. “Why is this so important to you?”

The traffic in the distance had faded, the boats on the water muted, the fragrant breeze that smelled of licorice stuck, even the humans in the ceased to exist. All of that stripped away to leave two souls trying to find common ground to explore their attraction for one another.

“Because when you take me to bed, Ansgar, I want you fucking me. I don’t want you fucking the memory of your wife or ex-wife or whoever she is. I don’t want agendas or schedules or any other person involved.” She stepped into his space again, tucked her forefinger into the belt buckle and tugged him against her until their bodies clashed together, breast to chest, stomach to abdomen, center to groin.

She purred, “Pleasure… adult animal magnetism… orgasms for hours.” Joline nuzzled her hips against his, not quite a graze but something akin to it, a promise of so much more. “Dirty, filthy, raw sex – between two people and we’re the only two people in that room. I want sweat. I want sticky heat. I want shortness of breath. I want my body clamped around your cock.” She bit his lower lip, raking her teeth over the sensitive flesh. “I want the neighbors needing a smoke when we’re sated and too blitzed to fuck again. You can have me when I can have you. You can fuck me when that ring isn’t on your finger.”

[turdblossommm]

Marry Me {8}

Summary: Bucky and the reader are hopelessly in love with their best friends who are getting married, where the pair first meet. Will there friendship turn into something more or will it crash and burn?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

A/N: Hello *rises from the grave* I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a hot minute, but you know shit happens and life kinda sucks. But I’m back and I’m going to try and be consistent.

part seven // masterlist

Bucky wasn’t an early riser so getting up before the sun was completely unheard of, and then being thrown in clothes that were just a little too snug really irritated him. You laughed as he grumbled into the coffee from the thermos. You passed a breakfast sandwich to tame the beast who got a little to hangry sometimes

“Okay everyone you know the drill, we walk North and shoot North in our specific quadrants” You shoved the map in Bucky’s day pack and nodded with the rest of your family. “We never shoot South okay?” Everyone nodded once again, this was a completion for all of you but being safe was the most important part

“Come on Buck, we got a Tom to kill” Bucky followed you through the tree to a blind that was ‘home base’. Bucky watched in complete wonder as you silently walked through the woods without snapping a single twig while he stepped on every possible twig.

“Blind C is occupied find somewhere else fuckers” Bucky rolled his eyes at you as you spoke into the radio

“You’re so going to lose” Your cousin Clay’s voice cracked over the radio

“No Tom has ever been killed out of quadrant C” Braxton scoffed

“Then you have nothing to worry about” Bucky chuckled at the mischief in your voice

“So what’s the plan? How do we do this?” Bucky asked

“First we whisper” You raise an eyebrow “We call them in and then we’ll get out and look for them” He watched you ‘call them in’ with some sort of wood that rubbed together and it made a turkey sound

“Why do you guys do this?” Bucky whispered as he carefully stepped over a fallen log

“It was something my grandfather always did with us, he worked on railroads and he was always away but he always managed to get home for Thanksgiving” You quietly slid down the small hill

“And now it’s a competition?” He chuckled 

“Yeah were scattered all around, half my cousins live in Minnesota the other half in Ontario, even Braxton lives in Montana. Thanksgiving is the only time we all see each other and this competition is the only thing we all have in common” You smile “And there’s always a fight for the turkey legs so this was one way to settle it”

“Turkey leg?” YOu nodded

“This family has thrown hands over a turkey leg, hence why the winner gets them” You explained to him as you two moved through thick timber towards an open field.

“That’s a little far for a turkey leg” You shrugged as you crouched down and called again

“We’re degenerates from up country, it’s in our nature” Bucky followed your actions and watched the field for any movement. After two hours Bucky was bored, you made him leave his phone and he was so bored he could cry.

Bucky looked over to you to see if you were dying of boredom too, but you were everything but that. Bucky felt a small smile on his face grow as he saw the fire in your eyes, he only saw that in the few glimpses he caught of you working in the lab with Tony. Bucky saw the constant tension you held in your shoulders was gone.

Seeing you with no makeup, clad in full camoflaudge with the lower half of your face conceded by a mask to keep warm. You have never looked more beautiful to him than in this moment, this is the real you, crass and sarcastic with a side of sweetness that was rationed carefully by you.

You caught movement in your eye and saw Bucky reaching for your face, you looked over and met his ocean eyes, filled with warmness. You leaned into his face as it graced your face, you closed your eyes and basked in the warmth from his hand. You gelt him pulled the velcro holding your mask up, it fell to your lap taking it’s warmth with it. He pulled your face closer and you met him half way.

When his lips met yours you were confused, you two didn’t kiss unless something else was to follow. You had kissed Bucky many times but this time was different, you two were about to have sex this was just a kiss he wanted which scared you. He can’t fall in love with you, that’s part of the rules. This kiss is uncharted territory for you two and you were scared and confused

But you also liked it and you never wanted him to stop kissing you like this. He kissed you in a way you haven’t been kissed like in a long time. They way he held your face was so careful and his lips were gentle. Despite all the times you’ve seen each other naked this is the most intimate you’ve ever been with him. You felt him pulled away and you almost groaned as his heat was replace with the cold 

“Holy shit Y/N look!” Bucky whispered and you wiped your head around and saw a massive Tom standing in the middle of the field. You grabbed Bucky’s shot gun and shoved it in his hands and he brought it up and peered down the barrel

“Breath” You whispered and placed your hand on his shoulder “Remember squeeze the trigger, not pull” Bucky lined the scope up with the turkey and closed his eyes before squeezing the trigger. Bucky’s ears rang as he watched the turkey drop

“I did it?” You smiled and spoke in the radio

“Dinner is served mother fuckers” You laughed and Bucky smiled “Are you okay?” You asked and he nodded

“I’m fine”

“If you want to cry that’s fine, I did too when I killed my first animal”

“Was it a turkey?” You shook your head as you wiped the small tear on his cheek

“It was a 600 pound elk and that was a bitch to pack out, luckily its just a bird”

“Why are you so cool?” Bucky sniffed and you threw your head back and laughed

“I’m not cool Buck” You grabbed his hand and pulled him up “Now carry your turkey” You gave Bucky the general idea of plucking a bird on your walk back to the raptor. You smiled as you pulled up and all your family had made it back to the ranch

“Come on Y/N!” Claire, your cousin yelled “Let someone else get it next year”

“Yeah you can’t have it five years in a row now” Ben huffed

“Actually Bucky killed it” You smirked at your family and Bucky’s cheeks warmed as all eyes turned on him 

“W-well she called it in” He rubbed his next

“Well you better clean it before it get sour” You dad smiled and clapped Bucky on the shoulder

Bucky smiled as the sunlight streamed in through the cracks of the barn, he loved the way they rested on your bare skin. He lightly ran his fingers over the soft skin on your back as your sighed in contentment. He pressed a kiss behind your ear and you rolled to meet his blue eyes

“Morning” You smiled and hurried your face in his chest

“Good morning” You sat up and he pulled you back down

“Not yet” 

“Bucky” You giggled “We have to cook breakfast, it’s our turn” Once you coerced Bucky out of bed and dragged him to the house to make breakfast, Bucky watched because you know the possibilities of the house burning down would be high if Bucky came near a burner. The rest of the day was spent helping your mother cook with your uncles and cousins played a game of football

“Buck get your ass out here” Braxton yelled from outside

“One sec” Bucky yelled from the porch where he sat with you sipping on a beer. He leaned over and kissed your cheek before running out to the field with your brother. You joined your mother in the house, passing the prom picture of you and Frank. You ran your fingers over his face

“I miss you” You whispered before walking into the kitchen. Your mother watching out the window at the men in the family playing a poorly called game of football. Your eyes caught Bucky running from Ben, his hair falling out it’s bun

“You haven’t had anyone over for the holidays since Frank, I assume you gave up on the superstition”

“Mom Frank was my soulmate, the one good love I get in this life. Bucky and I are just friends”

“Sweatie Frank is gone and you can still love him, but that man out there looks at you like the world revolves around you” You shook your head “Your relationship with Frank was so toxic all you did was fight, both of your were stubborn teenagers. And then he died honey, you didn’t get to grieve prop-“

“Mom stop!” Your mom’s heart broke as she saw the tears form in your eyes “I’m done talking about Frank” You climbed the stairs to your bedroom, not caring that Muriel’s stuff was scattered around the room.

Bucky walked up the stairs to your room, per your mom’s instruction. He slowly pushed the door open, he noticed the room probably hadn’t been decorated since you left for college. Back Street Boys and NSYNC posters covered your wall with FFA memorabilia. He eyes landed on you hunched over a picture on the edge of your bed

“Want to talk about it?” He asked pulling you into his side and you wiped your nose with your sleeve

“This is Frank Castle, the only other man I’ve loved except for Clint, except Frank loved me back” You chuckled

“What happened?” Bucky asked

“He died, killed in action” Bucky closed his eyes “They said he was hit directly by the blast so there’s no way he felt anything” You sniffed

“How old were you?” He rubbed circles on your shoulder

“I was 20, he was 22. We were going to get married when I finished school so I could live on base with him” Bucky pulled you in for a hug and held you until your sniffles stopped “Sorry coming home always reminds me of him” You wipe the makeup from under your eyes

“No worries”

“I think dinner is ready” You nodded and followed him down the stairs and took your seats at the dinning room table, it’s only ever used for Thanksgiving. Your father prayed and blessed the food and thanked God for a bountiful harvest this year. Your dad carved the turkey and gave Bucky the leg

“And you gets the other?” You father asked and Bucky smiled and turned to you

“Y/N, she would’ve shot the damn thing if I took another second” Your family laughed as Bucky handed you the leg. Dinner was full of laughs and goodhearted conversations from your family, it was times like Thanksgiving that you are thankful for your dysfunctional family. You watched your niece and nephew play in the living room with everyone ate pie 

“Sing Auntie Y/N” Your nephew yelled as his dad brought out the guitar

“Y/N doesn’t sing anymore remember” Clair called

“I’ll sing” You smiled at the children and Bucky saw your parents head whip away from their conversations to their children as Braxton counted you off

“Kiss me mother kiss your darlin’.

Lay my head upon your breast

Throw your loving arms around me. 

I am weary let me rest

Seems the light is swiftly fading

Brighter scenes they do now show

I am standing by the river

Angels wait to take me home” The blue grass tune was soft and light, relaxing others in the room, Bucky couldn’t help but stare in awe

“Kiss me mother kiss your darlin'

See the pain upon my brow

While I'll soon be with the angels

Fate has doomed my future now

Through the years you've always loved me

And my life you've tried to save

But now I shall slumber sweetly

In a deep and lonely grave

Kiss me mother kiss your darlin'

Lay my head upon your breast

Throw your loving arms around me

I am weary let me rest

I am weary let me rest” A content smile found it’s way across your face as the children climbed on your lap and demanded more songs. Bucky learned against the door frame as he felt a hand fall on his shoulder. He turned to find your father with a smile on his face

“Keep on doing what your doing, she hasn’t sang since Frank” Bucky nodded as a warm feeling spread across his chest that grew hotter when you turned and smiled at him.

A/N pt. 2: God I forgot how much I actually like this part

Taglist: @hailqueenconquer​ @2ptonpt​ 

[alexanderlightweight]

knitting: hobby or way of life?

Fandom: Roswell New Mexico

Pairings: Kyle Valenti & Alex Manes, (Mentioned Past Michael Guerin/Alex Manes)

Warnings: Light Emotional Angst, Alcohol/Coffee

ao3 link

Alex frowned at a particularly stubborn knot.  It had tangled together enough that it was obvious but he’d been lost in thought and was only just now noticing it.  He was just coming to the decision that he’d have to unravel his work when a knock sounded on the door. It took him a moment to secure everything before he opened the door and found Kyle there with a hopeful look.

Alex gave Kyle a long look and then sighed, “did you at least bring coffee with you?”  He asked as he walked back to the couch, leaning his crutches against the coffee table and settling down.

“I did,” Kyle said and he hesitated near the doorway, “you sure you don’t mind?”

“Reheat the coffee, add a couple of shots and shut the damn door Kyle.”  Alex said and he left no room for disagreement when he glared at Kyle from the couch.  He was too exhausted to deal with anything else and he had a feeling that Kyle felt the same.  

The last three days had been a mental and emotional whirlwind and now that it was over, Alex no longer felt like he was going to be dropped off a cliff.  Instead, he was convinced that he was already at the bottom of one.

“Whiskey’s above the fridge,” he called when he heard a telltale beep and the whir of the microwave.

It took a few minutes and it gave Alex enough time to settle himself.  He knew that Kyle could be visiting for a variety of reasons, anything from Caulfield and Project Shepherd, to dealing with hiding so much from his mother.  

Or, it could be the fact that in the last three days, Rosa had been resurrected, Kyle had been shot and in turn put Jesse Manes in a coma and Max had died.  All fairly alarming, confusing and generally life-changing events.  

“You knit?”  Kyle asked, breaking Alex from his musing as he sat two mugs of generously spiked coffee down.  Alex could smell the whiskey from the couch and he inhaled the sharpness of alcohol and the earthy scent of coffee,  letting it distract him.

“Yeah, I picked it up while in the hospital and stuck with it through rehab,” Alex said and tapped his leg idly, “I wasn’t sure about it at first but it was something to do when there wasn’t a lot I could.”  

There was a moment between them of silence and Alex closed his eyes, just for a moment as he sipped his coffee.

“Feel like teaching me?”  Kyle finally asked, “I feel like I could use something to do but my brain is,” he took a breath.  “I don’t think I can handle thinking about one more thing.”

“Alright,” Alex nodded to the space on the couch next to him, “grab the bag over there and bring it here.”

Kyle did as instructed and then settled next to him, “so how frustrating is learning this going to be?”

“You’re a doctor, Kyle.”  Alex reminded him with a smirk, “using sharp instruments to piece together soft, delicate things is literally part of your job.  Now pick a color and one of the thicker yarns, it’ll be easier for you to get the hang of.”

“Well, I definitely hadn’t thought of it like that,” Kyle admitted and took the bag, rummaging until he found a soft fabric in dark red.  He held it for a moment, rubbing the thread between his fingers and then he sighed. “It reminds me of Rosa’s lipstick, I remember she always wore that shade.”

“Her armor,” Alex said quietly.

“I know it’s not the same,” Kyle said and put the rest of the yarn down, out of the way, “but maybe-” he paused.  “We weren’t close in high school and just because I know she’s my sister doesn’t mean we’re suddenly confidents or that she’ll trust me.  It’s just one of the only things I know about her that doesn’t have to do with her being Liz’s big sister. I was hoping that maybe if I make her something that color it’ll be familiar, comforting even.”  

“Well, a scarf is easy enough for a start and we have time.”  

“So, what are you making?”  Kyle asked, after Alex had patiently and good-naturedly shown him how to knot and then loop the yarn.

“A blanket,” Alex said shortly, not wanting to expand but Kyle reached out and poked him.  “Hey, do no harm, Dr. Valenti,” he scolded and smacked Kyle’s hand away. Kyle tried to engage him in a stare-off but blinked first and then resorted to the underhanded move of stealing his coffee.  “Oh for- fine. It’s a blanket for Michael.” Kyle handed the mug back to him and Alex rolled his eyes, “between working in his bunker and being at the caves, he’s probably going to get cold and I don’t need another one.”  

“I thought you two, never mind-” Kyle paused and then took a hasty gulp of his own coffee, wincing from either the alcohol or the heat.  Alex appreciated that he was trying not to pry too much but at this point not many things were actually a secret.

“He’s still my family,” Alex told him, “but life is complicated.  I know that better than most. Considering that our relationship was a mess even before I knew that Michael was an alien, I’d say that now, convoluted has become a severe understatement when it comes to describing what’s between us.”

“You’re not, I don’t know... upset about it?”  

“I am, but I have more important things to do with my time than to waste it by being bitter and angry.”  Alex said and sighed, “look, sometimes life gives you fucked up options and you have to take the choice that hurts the least.  Because you’re in so much pain that you know you can’t take any more or you’ll break.” Alex knitted as he spoke, “we all make shitty choices sometimes.  A lot of the time it’s to protect ourselves. I love Michael, Kyle. But I’ve lived and fought through battles that affected far more than just me and I’ve made mistakes.”    

“So you’re just okay with it?  Because you know how to rationalize it, that makes it hurt less?”

“No, but what or how I feel about things isn’t what’s important right now.  I’ve been managing my own heartbreak for over a decade,” Alex told Kyle. “I’ll admit, being back here again in Roswell, with Michael and then all of this shit with my dad- it opened up a lot of old wounds.  There’s something about this place, it took me a moment to catch my balance, to remember that I’m not a terrified teenager fighting against the world.”

“So what are you?”

“I’m a badass with a lot of baggage and holding more cards than anyone actually knows,” Alex said and grinned, “so let me worry about me.  There are things that I need your support and your help with, but my relationship with Michael isn’t one of them.”

“Your call,” Kyle said, “but I’m here if you ever need me.”

“Thanks, but maybe for now, focus on your knitting.  You just missed every other loop, I hope you don’t do that with your patients.”

Kyle cursed and held up his needles and yarn and looked closely at his mess, “people are easier.”  He grumbled, “at least they bleed if you poke them in the wrong place.”  

Alex shook his head, laughing as he helped untangle the mess.  It took a little while but much like life, most of the complicated snags in knitting could be fixed when you took the time and had the patience.  If it couldn't, well he had more yarn and they could always start over.

[jessicajonesrp]

New case

Jessica could not remember the last time that she had felt like this. Hell, she couldn’t remember the last time she had thought it possible that she could feel like this. Even allowing herself to mentally label her feelings in the past few weeks seemed risky, even dangerous. How could she acknowledge to herself that she had been enjoying her life, even feeling happy about considerable portions of it? To admit even to herself that she was experiencing happiness seemed like a surefire way to bring it all to a devastating end.

 But as much as she didn’t want to even think the word, happy was a fairly accurate way to describe her, recently. It was an emotion she could hardly avoid, given how neatly and easily her life seemed to be falling into place. Kilgrave was dead, for real this time, his threat over her and everyone else ended forever. There hadn’t been an attack to NYC or the world recently that required her involvement to save from apocalypse. Trish wasn’t on drugs, had the good sense to be staying away from her mother, and was even in a relationship Jessica approved of, as much as she would approve of anyone with her sister. Trish was healthy, safe, and happy, and that was all Jessica wanted for her.

 And for Jessica…well, there was Luke. The more she got to know him, and the more time she spent with him, the more she knew that she was falling more and more deeply in love with him. And by some crazy twist of fate, Luke had decided that he loved her too.

 It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried to push him away. She had tried rudeness and bluntness, making it clear to him that there was no “better” Jessica that he might eventually shape her into. What he saw was what he was going to get. She didn’t hide her drinking or her temper, her antisocial tendencies or her cynicism. And still, he didn’t back away. Even after knowing her history, the worst of what she had done and the depth of her emotional scars, he still looked her in the eyes with nothing but respect and acceptance. Jessica still didn’t feel that she deserved this, but she loved the person that Luke was showing himself to be too much to walk away, even if she felt that was what would be the best option for him. Maybe it was selfish of her, but she wanted him, a life with him, too much to try much harder to force him away.

 And even the parts she hated most about herself, as she spent time with Luke, seemed to be getting better ever so slowly. Jessica was never going to be a person without a dark side to herself; hell, even before her family died and her life spun out of control for the next twenty years, she had been the kind of asshole teenager who dressed in black, played only metal bands, and had few facial expressions beyond scowls. She still drank heavily, she still avoided the public whenever possible, and she still shrank from any initiating any physical affection and refused to express her affection verbally. She still had nightmares, panic attacks, and hallucinations. But they were becoming less and less frequent and intense, and her sleep was getting better, overall. She even thought she wasn’t drunk quite as often.

 Luke was changing her, somehow. And damn it, Jessica didn’t even mind it.

 88

 “We’ve got eleven new potential cases,” Malcolm greeted her, the first Monday that Jessica returned from her trip with Luke, Trish, and Danny. “Most of the same, straightforward cheating spouse kind, but there’s a few that are a little more complex. I took down all the messages for you, the ones I thought you’d be most interested in are highlighted.”

 Jessica hadn’t actually given the man permission to be taking down calls, speaking with clients, or coming into the office to work when she wasn’t also present. Hell, she was pretty sure he was supposed to be currently fired for the fifth or sixth time. But Malcolm generally ignored whatever orders she gave if he saw fit to, and she was in a decent enough mood to overlook his supposedly unemployed state. For today.

   She gifted him with only a slight scoffing noise and rolling of her eyes rather than the full-on ass chewing he might normally have received, accepting the neatly labeled folder he held out to her. Flipping through it and rolling her eyes for a second time at the typed notes he had organized, she skimmed through each, tossing them haphazardly onto her desk as she rejected them entirely or dismissed their importance.

 “Cheater, cheater, blackmail, whack job, religious nut, cheater, cheater-“

 Her hand stopped on the next note, several of the typed words jumping out at her. Missing child- Gabriel Dowling, age ten. Jessica swallowed, her throat suddenly and uncomfortably tight. Her brother Phillip had also been ten years old, the year that he died. She had spent the last sixteen years feeling very uncomfortable and vaguely agitated when anywhere near a male child under the age of fourteen; the parallels to her brother were far too obvious and raw.

 Forcing herself to shake off her discomfort the best that she could, Jessica began to read over Malcolm’s notations more thoroughly. The call in had been made by the child’s mother, Cynthia Dowling; Jessica noted that no father was listened and reminded herself to follow up on his involvement or lack of, whether he was the potential perpetrator of the disappearance. The child had allegedly been missing for several days, with no signs of being a runaway and no ransom note left. Mother claims to have gone to wake him one morning only to find his room empty and no signs of a kidnapping or intruder.

 The minimal facts raised more questions for Jessica than answers; already she was wondering whether the disappearance could be staged, if it was possible that this was all some bullshit custody battle, or if ten years old really was old enough for a kid to be a runaway or going on some extended, unapproved sleepover with one of his friends. But if neither was the case, then a little boy was missing and at risk of great harm, if he wasn’t dead already. Jessica might not think of herself as a hero, but she couldn’t in good conscience turn this down.

 “This one,” she said to Malcolm, tapping the file. “Start looking up what you can on Cynthia and Gabriel Dowling. I’m calling her up and asking her to come in.”

 88

 There was nothing alarming about Cynthia Dowling, at first impression. She was a woman about ten years older than Jessica herself, of average height, weight, and appearance. But there was a haunted, pained look to her eyes, dark circles stained deeply beneath them, and her shoulders slumped as she took the seat across from Jessica’s desk that she was directed towards. Nevertheless, she met Jessica’s gaze firmly and with a surprising steeliness as she addressed her.

 “I know you’ll have questions for me, Ms. Jones, and I’ll answer anything and do anything you need to help me get Gabriel back. But I’m going to tell you now that most of the standard questions a person would ask about a child’s disappearance will not help you, because they’ll be going in the wrong direction.”

 Jessica arched an eyebrow, leaning back in her chair and fixing a skeptical look at the woman. “Hey, lady, you came to me for help, so why don’t you let me actually do the work I’m qualified for instead of telling me what you think is or isn’t going to help?”

 “I’m not telling you how to do your job,” Cynthia insisted, lifting both hands wearily and letting them drop down to her lap. “But I know the type of questions the police would ask, and they are wasting both of our time, and my son’s time, which he may not have much of. I-“

 “So you’ve spoken to the police?” Jessica interrupted. When the woman hesitated, then shook her head, Jessica narrowed her eyes, leaning towards her. “Your kid has been missing for days, and you didn’t report this to the police?”

 “I know how it sounds,” Cynthia said wearily, rubbing a hand over her face. “I can understand why you’re judging me for that, and if this wasn’t my son and my life, I’d judge anyone else just the same. But the police couldn’t do anything for us, Ms. Jones. That’s why I’ve come to you.”

 She paused, lifting her face up again. “My son did not run away. My son did not wonder off and get lost, and before you even ask, his father is not in the picture. I never even told him that I was pregnant, and I’ve never told Gabriel who his father is. He has nothing to do with this, it would be impossible.”

 “Lady, there’s a lot of things in this world that should be impossible, but aren’t,” Jessica muttered, exhaling. “I’m assuming you have reasons for the dad not being involved? What makes you think there’s no way a guy you didn’t even want to know you’re pregnant couldn’t do something with your son?”

 “It wasn’t like that,” Cynthia said. “It wasn’t…abuse, or that he was a bad person, or anything like that. It was a silly, casual fling that resulted in an unplanned pregnancy that I wasn’t unopposed to go through with.” She signed, shaking her head. “I didn’t know Gabriel’s father enough to know whether or not he was capable of being a good father, or if he would be interested. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I didn’t want to have to take the risk of finding out. I thought…Gabriel was going to be mine, the only person who was all mine. I thought I could be enough for a child…for my child.”

 Her voice shook slightly, and she brushed at her eyes before steadying it. “This has nothing to do with what’s happened to my child. This-“

 “There’s no way you can know that at this point,” Jessica interrupted, not bothering to hide the irritation in her tone. “You hire me to investigate and I’m investigating all possibilities. I need-“

 “I chose you because of what you are,” Cynthia Rowling blurted, and when Jessica stopped speaking, blinking at her, the woman squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, continuing. “Because…because I’ve heard about who you are. The things you can do. You’re like my son, Ms. Jones…or rather, my son is like you. If anyone is going to be able to bring my son back to me, it will be a person who is like him.”

 Jessica knew exactly what the woman was implying. Still, she had to be certain.

 “What do you mean, your son is like me?”

 “I don’t know the right word for it,” Cynthia said carefully, seeming to be trying to choose words that would be accurate without offense. “I’ve always just thought of Gabriel as….special. Not a mutant, or a superhero, or even superpowered…to me, he was just my son.”

  Jessica could feel her heartbeat speed up, and she had to make herself hold still as the woman spoke, make her face remain blank. Even so, her hands twitched, and her throat went dry with her craving to drink as she listened.

 “Gabriel can...go places. Without walking, or doing anything to get there. All he has to do is wish for it, or think about it, and he’s there. I think the word is teleporting…whatever it is, he can do it.” Cynthia shook her head, giving a short, broken-sounding laugh. “When he was a baby, I never could make him stay in his crib at night. I couldn’t keep him in the corner for time out or in the house on rainy days. I homeschool him, because when he was in preschool and would get bored, he would take himself out to the playground and send the teachers into a panic, not knowing where he went or how he got there.”

 As the implications of what Cynthia was saying began to dawn on Jessica, she looked at the woman sharply, her back straightening.

 “If your son can teleport- hold on, what are you telling me? You think your child’s been kidnapped, right? That someone is holding him? But how is that possible, if all he has to do is wish himself back home, and it would happen?”

 Cynthia nodded, a small, tight smile without joy curving her lips.

 “You understand now, Ms. Jones. You being like my son- that isn’t the only reason I chose you. You understand what it would take, what kind of person it would take, to be able to hold my son when he doesn’t want to be there. The kind of person who would and could do this. You…you had experience with that, didn’t you? The man this year on the docks-“

 “I’m not talking about that,” Jessica snapped, reeling back from her fast enough that the back of her chair smacked against the wall behind her. “That’s none of your damn business.”

 “I understand,” her client said quietly, nodding. “But please understand, this is why I’ve chosen you to help me find my son. You know what people like that can do to someone like him- to someone like you. I want my son back with me, Ms. Jones. And if…if something happened to him…if someone’s done something to him…then I want you to be able to tell me who it is that’s responsible.”

 Jessica took some time to gather words. Even as her temples pulsed and her eyes burned, she could only come up with one reply.

 “Okay.”

 88

 Within hours, she had all the information she and Malcolm could gather on the small Dowling family. It was straightforward enough, and no different from what Cynthia had said. Single parent, no father listed or involved, homeschooled child who had several strange “incidents” in preschool. No red flags popping out about either, beyond the preschool “incidents,” which Cynthia had already explained. Pictures on Cynthia’s social media implied a child who appeared happy and close to his mother and who regularly socialized with other children.

 It was only after Jessica had begun to look into some of the children pictured with Gabriel, just at the far-fetched possibility of a lead, that a pattern began to emerge. Each of those children was also homeschooled, never enrolled in public or private elementary schools. And as Jessica began to look into them and their families, other “incidents” began to pop up, suspiciously similar in nature to Gabriel’s preschool incidents.

 As her suspicions grew, Jessica began contacting the families of the children that had been Gabriel’s friends, under the premise of needing information about Gabriel’s disappearance. It didn’t take very long for the pattern’s strength to intensify.

 Most of the children that Gabriel Dowling was friends with were also “special,” as Ms Dowling had described her son. And three of those children had also, within the past year, mysteriously vanished- children who normally should have been able to fight off or escape a would be threatening person without trouble.

 It was becoming obvious to Jessica that whoever it was that had taken the children was gifted with some sort of supernatural ability themselves. Whatever his or her intentions, this person was clearly potentially very dangerous indeed.