#like i’m in a situation rn but i feel at ease n at peace

[sickkbunny]

i’m so emotionally stable n sane n normal rn it’s crazy. like knowing i’m not in the wrong n didn’t handle a situation like shit makes me feel so good 🤠 ur doing it bae ur healing

[letters-from-eros]

hello!! emergency request here!

so i am like terrified of super bad windstorms, the kind that rattle my roof and blow my trash can away. When i was little, a tree branch fell on my bedroom roof and i had to sleep on the living room. Since then, i get like bad anxiety about them??? And there’s a rlly bad one where i live rn

And i heard (saw) you do BSD, so i was wondering if u could do a scenario where fem reader is like terrified of windstorms, and she and Dazai haven’t moved in yet, but she calls him because she’s scared and he comes and comforts her?? idk if that’s too specific, you can shorten it down or do whatever with it! Thank you very much in advance! (●’◡’●)ﾉ

A/N: Ugh, I hate storms too and I'm sorry you're dealing with that right now! Hopefully this'll help you out <3

Form: One-Shot

Genre: Comfort, fluff, maybe a tad bit of angst in the beginning

Pairings: Dazai Osamu x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Storms, depictions of anxiety

Dazai Osamu was nothing if he was not reliable (in his own weird little way). Yes, he's a goofball seen to not take much seriously but when you need him, he's there on the drop of a dime.

A storm waged on outside, every gush of wind, boom of thunder and clack of heavy rain flooded your ears. Every time wind so much as brushed a tree branch against your home it provoked a harsh flinch. Every minute the storm waged on it felt as though the pace at which your hands shook quickened and and the more rough and forceful your heart banged against your chest.

"Make it stop, please..." The useless begging to no one in particular came out as a whisper. There wasn't much you, or anyone could do to make this situation suddenly cease.

You lightly rested your head against the wall. As you sat, tucked into the corner to avoid as many windows possible, you glanced over at your phone screen, currently the only source of light that dimly illuminated your bedroom. Every time the lights flickered your heart had skipped a beat so it was best to turn those things off before the worst part of the storm even arrived. For maybe the third time since you heard the first clap of thunder you debated calling Dazai.

He'd probably come, yes, but he would get soaked on the way over and might end up catching a cold because of it. Could he even safely get to where you lived through all the mess going on outside? Streets were borderline flooded and Dazai didn't own a car (you doubted he even had a license) and what were the chances that cab drivers were even operating through this?

It would be best to not call. That's what you decided on...

BOOM!

A much louder than usual clap of thunder blared across your ears and sent a shiver up and down your spine. Your hands went for you phone faster than your mind could exactly process. In practically one swift movement Dazai's number was dialed, you memorized the series of numbers as though it was how to spell your name long ago and it was safe to say that it stuck.

The feeling of doubt and thoughts of hesitance washed away as you finally hit the call button.

Two rings, it always took two rings for Dazai to pick up.

"Yes, Belladonna?" His voice was enough to bring an immense sense of peace wash over you, only for a moment. A loud gust of wind made your throat run dry and the anxiety pool back up as quickly as Dazai's voice made it wash away.

"D-Dazai," It was hard to form words, you felt as though you were straining every muscle in your body to force them out.

"Is everything okay, Y/n?" His voice sounded more urgent than it did before. He picked up on your tone of voice, how could he not?

"Can you come over, please?" Almost immediately you could hear the shuffling of Dazai getting up.

"I'm on my way. The storm has you shaken up?" He asked and you could hear the volume of the rain become a lot louder. He already stepped outside his apartment.

"Mhm.." Your answer came out as a feeble hum. You weren't shocked that he already knew what was wrong, he was always good at doing that.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, alright?" His voice remained steady but it was subtly laced with concern.

"Alright.. Stay safe, Dazai," A small rise of guilt bubbled up in you over the fact you had your partner outside during a huge thunderstorm just to see you.

He gave you a small laugh, the one that always made you smile. "Of course, Belladonna, I'll stay safe. See you in just a few minutes, alright?"

"Okay."

The phone slipped out of your hands once the call ended. The rain and wind seemed a little quieter. You couldn't tell if the storm was easing up, or if you were just relieved that Dazai was on his way to help.

Hopefully, both.

By the time Dazai got there the storm did ease up a little. Rain kept up a consistent heavy pace but the strong blows of wind that tilted the trees outside seemed to be occurring less and less. You couldn't tell when was the last time you heard any thunder.

"It's me," Dazai announced upon stepping into your home, his shoes squeaked just as loud as his voice as he slipped them off at the doorway.

When he stepped into your bedroom you noticed he was missing his signature trenchcoat and his hair was messy, starting to fuzz up after having to dry it from the rain. His glare was soft, lacking its using tantalizing glint.

"I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner," He takes long strides to get in front of you before offering a hand to help you up from your sitting position. "Are you tired?"

You took a soft hold on his hand and hefted yourself up, legs a little weak from having them hugged up against your chest. "Yeah, a little," You answered. If panicking over a storm was anything it was exhausting, especially by the end of it.

Dazai hugs you flush against his figure, his clothes weren't that damp, you figured he buttoned up his trenchcoat and it was somewhere air drying now.

He took a few steps back holding you to get to your bed, breaking the hug for a moment to pull back the covers.

A sigh of relief escapes your lips as you both got into the bed under the abundance of sheets and cover you have, no space was left in between the two of you. Your head rested on his chest and his arms were wrapped tightly against your waist.

Dazai could feel you stiffen when a small gust of wind passed.

"Shhh," He hushed, lightly, somehow pulling you closer. "Just listen to me." His breaths got a little deeper and you took note of his heartbeat. Its was soothing, any traces of panic and anxiety was fully washed away and it felt like nothing could bring the feeling back, not when you're in Dazai's arms.

Things remained like that even after the sun was showcased once again. Things were abnormally quiet when you took Dazai's loud personality into thought but he knew this was no time to tease or to make his stupid jokes– not yet, anyway. At the moment, the only thing that mattered was you, and there wasn't any way that his attention could be shifted from you to anything else in the world.

Dazai was nothing if he was not reliable.

Beta-read by @bokuno-volleybabes

[cattles-bians]

Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4

post directory

[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]

obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs

obsetress: once they are dating

obsetress: and thinkin thoughts

em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????

em: that’s hot but

em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot

obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!

obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down

obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth

em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship

obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet

obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes

obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)

obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)

obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes

em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine

em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies

obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”

obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like

obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just

obsetress: she just stays

em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em

obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just

obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like

em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter

em: viola isnt nearly as terrible

obsetress: esp vi post dani like

obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but

obsetress: radical love goes a long way!

obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”

em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally

em: lovingly! gently

but like, holding her accountable

em: also violas absolutely little spoon

em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon

obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”

em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent

em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'

obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm

em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible

obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn

em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee

obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like

obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"

obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn

em: wrow

em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'

obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"

obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"

em: HANNAH

em: BESTIE

obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK

obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"

obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone

em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!

em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely

[em edit: u can read here]

obsetress: god i love that lil scene

em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its

obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist

em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about

em: still cares about!

obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another

obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too

em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'

obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie

em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met

em: not that u think abt it or anything

obsetress: MAN i was just thnking

obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh

obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm

em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute

obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like

obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk

obsetress: but then i'm like

obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it

obsetress: oh GOD

obsetress: i got it

obsetress: ready

obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this

obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right

em: oooooh

obsetress: bex public housing attorney

em: OOH

obsetress: they meet at some conference

obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr

obsetress: and then

obsetress: comedy of errors

obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"

em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds

em: YES

obsetress: and then they just

em: WHEEZES

obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her

obsetress: and then like

obsetress: god for a while what if they just like

obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like

obsetress: the sex is so good???????

obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then

em: romeo and juliet situation

obsetress: yk how it goes

obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like

em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah

obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever

obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn

obsetress: honestly at this point i'm

obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind

obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered

em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other

obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile

obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf

em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified

em: hypocrits

em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing

em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people

obsetress: i mean could you imagine

obsetress: between vi and dani's just

obsetress: insatiable libido

em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH

obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––

em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally

em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)

obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"

obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but

obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:

obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse

em: GOD. viola is probably like

em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords

em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but

em: stupid morons in love

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like

obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out

obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like

obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world

obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that

obsetress: and so viola does

obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"

em: soft.....

obsetress: they always turn back to soft

obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own

em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft

obsetress: that's the mood

em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'

obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!

em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao

em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge

obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was

obsetress: giving viola her time

obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell

em: cracks knuckles

em: bestie....

obsetress: pls

obsetress: it's what i deserve

obsetress: first tho

obsetress: consider

obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures

obsetress: hold pls

em: soft......

obsetress: this one chief

obsetress: right here

[sad-af1121]

Oh Baby Baby (One-shot)

Summary: You were having a hard time balancing work, home life, and a baby, causing you severe exhaustion so Bucky decides to look after the baby. Everything starts off smooth, but babies aren’t that easy to handle.  Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 1.4k Warnings: fluuuuff, language, cutenessss  A/N:  Hey lovelies! It feels great to be writing again! I am a bit slow rn bc I have to get back to the swing of things, but rest assured I hope to be writing more content (which I do have planned :’) With that said, please enjoy!! And a BIG thank you to @colonelconfusion​ for looking over this. Feedback is welcomed 💜 | Not my gif

Whoever told you postpartum fatigue was all in your head was a fucking liar. Ten rigorous hours of labor then having to endure delivery made you extremely exhausted and lifeless. The baby blues were at their peak but you made a priority to work with your new lifestyle than to struggle. The first two months of being a new mother were rough; you constantly made sure not to mess up with anything, especially now since you were taking care of a small human that you and Bucky created. Obviously, you two were aware that you learn as you go, but everything was just overwhelming for both of you. It felt like Bucky and you were either nursing, changing, or bouncing your baby girl to sleep every hour- a never-ending loop of parenthood. Don’t get it wrong though, every moment spent with your newborn was exciting and full of surprises. Bucky was smitten the first time he laid his eyes on her and vowed to keep her happy and loved- the same was true with the rest of her family, aka the Avengers. 

Six months have passed now and things are slowly becoming second nature to you both. But coming back to work has taken its toll and exhaustion pulls your eyes closed whenever you are enjoying the peace of holding your child. You’d shake and stretch your limbs from feeling the fatigue all over again. Whenever the case got bad, Bucky would step in and take care of little Rosie so that you can get a few peaceful hours of rest. Calling it like a game of tag-teaming, punching your card in when you were ready, and punching it back out when you desperately needed a break.  

“You sure, Buck? I can wait another hour if you want to watch your game,” you said, feeling the guilt residing in your stomach. But the deep grey bags under your eyes and slouched posture were enough evidence for Bucky to see how badly you needed rest. 

“Yes, I’m positive. Rosie’s fed, changed and about to knock out- thanks to the boob,” he smirked, earning a huff of laughter from you. “I’ll have time to watch it on the DVR and catch up with the boys through texts. It's a win-win situation, babe” he assured, leaning in to place a soft kiss to your forehead. 

A wave of relief washed over you, a deep sigh of content releasing afterward. “Fine. But wake me up in two hours, Bucky. Don’t let me oversleep. I’ve gotta make dinner and do the laundry too,” you emphasized. The stress was beginning to come back, making your palms sweat and your fatigue to deepen.

“Oh... kay, time to sleep,” he urged, carefully pushing you into your room. Pulling the covers back, you slid underneath the blanket and snuggled against Bucky’s pillow, rubbing the side of your face into the cloud-like object before slowly wandering to sleep. After checking to see if you had fallen asleep, Bucky quietly tip-toed out of the room, closing the door just slightly behind him. 

“Phew,” Bucky breathed, looking down at his daughter who also managed to fall asleep in his arms. “Hmm, that was easy.” 

About 45 minutes later, Bucky’s laid back in his chair with a bottle of beer in one hand and his phone in the other. He was able to sync the tv sound to his headphones so that there weren’t any loud sounds around the house that’d wake up his girls. And trust it, that was the last thing he wanted. 

“Oh, eat my shorts, Parker!” He harshly whispered, sending a spider and shoe emoji to Peter in their group text. Unfortunately, Bucky’s team was behind a couple points, nothing too major for a loss, but enough for Clint, Peter, and Tony to make fun of. 

Without realizing it, Bucky was loud enough for Rosie to hear and she woke up whimpering and upset. Her small wails were heard through the baby monitor and Bucky quickly paused the television and stilled. He grabbed the monitor and waited, hearing complete silence which resulted in his belief that she fell back to sleep. However, as he’s about to press play, Rosie lets out a loud cry, the sound echoing not only in her nursery but into the living room, too.

“Shit, shit.”

As if wild ducks were chasing him, Bucky rushed to the crib and carefully picked her up. “Daddy’s here, Rosie. Shhh, let's not cry that loud huh? See, I’m right here, baby girl,” he cooed softly, hoping the combination of bouncing her and talking would ease the crying. But it only made it worse. 

Bucky was in full panic mode at this point. 

No matter what he did, Rosie refused to stop. He tried feeding her, gave her a clean diaper, even played baby mozart- yet it wasn’t enough. Nothing was working. Copious amount of sweat began to build up everywhere as Bucky felt the pressure and panicked.

“Rosie, please for your old man’s sake, please stop crying,” Bucky whined, rubbing small circles on her back before taking a seat on the rocking chair. Right as he was about to lose hope and wake you up, he does the only and last thing he can think of at the moment; he started to fake cry like his baby. 

With Rosie in his lap, he brought her face to face and continued to fake cry with her. “Please stop. C’mon buddy, your mama’s gonna kill me.”

As Bucky bawled dramatically, his facial features twist and turn into ugly expressions that capture Rosie’s attention. She quiets down as her tear-stained cheeks mold upwards to a grin before she erupts into giggles, throwing her hands together in happiness. Snapping his eyes open, Bucky chuckled breathlessly in relief, shaking his head with disbelief. 

“I’m glad to know you find amusement in my death,” He smirked, blowing a strand of hair out from his face. Rosie cooes for a bit then snuggles in Bucky’s chest, grabbing a fist full of his shirt. He doesn’t pull her away because he soon notices she’s dozing off to sleep. 

After all that, Bucky realized the baby just wanted his attention.

“God, she’s truly your daughter,” you said, leaning against the door frame. You nearly gave Bucky a heart attack, causing him to jump at your voice. 

“Rude.” 

You cross your arms over your chest, a smirk threatening to spread across your face, “Crying and whining when she wants attention? Definitely you, Barnes.” You said a matter of factly. 

He pursed his lips and nodded, “I’m assuming you're ready to tag in now?” For your amusement, you grab a stuffed penguin from Rosie’s toy shelf and chuck it at Bucky’s head. 

Biting his lip, Bucky nods and turns to look at you, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” 

-

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[givelove-always]

Little Things

A/N: Hi! This is my first fic ever. I know it’s not that great, but if I do end up continuing to write, I promise it’s going to be (hopefully) uphill from here. It’s a common concept with my own spin on it, I’m just trying to play around with writing styles rn. I hope you like it, please be sure to leave me some feedback (but please be nice because I will cry haha)!! Also reblogs to help with exposure would be so greatly appreciated!! Anway, I hope you enjoy!!

Summary: Just some cutesy Shawn waking up one morning and thinking about the adorable things his girlfriend does :)

Warnings: None, except for really mediocre (probably even below-average haha) writing

Word Count: 2058 words

Shawn groaned lightly as the early morning sunlight hit his face. He was really regretting not getting up to pull the curtains shut last night - he most definitely could’ve landed himself a few extra hours of sleep if he had. Blinking a few times to awaken himself, he slowly adjusted to the sudden burst of light he was being exposed to.

As he looked down to see his girlfriend sleeping on his chest, light snores escaping her, his heart skipped a beat. Her legs were entangled in his, her hair was sprawled across her face, and her hands rest gently on his chest. She’d slept over multiple times before, but seeing her so at ease and close to him in the morning, he swore he was feeling just as nervous yet filled with adoration as the first time she did.

Staring down at her peaceful image, thoughts of all the things he absolutely adored about her started flooding his mind. The immense amount of support she showed him through absolutely everything, the depth with which she was always trying to understand everyone and everything around her, the amount of ambition and determination she had to reach her goals. Not to mention her smile - seeing it made everything around him disappear. If he could somehow make sure that her beautiful smile never left her face, heaven knows he’d do it in a heartbeat. The list just went on and on.

Like those little notes that she would randomly leave for him all the time? He swore those things had the ability to make his entire day. It didn’t matter where in the world he was, he’d always receive sweet little messages from her.

He still remembered the first time she left him a note, and how the tradition started:

Shawn woke up, yawning, unaware of what time of day it was. He had flown in the night before (and then driven about 2 hours to her dorm) to surprise his girlfriend of a month. He usually wasn’t one to sleep in very late, but after a long night filled with cuddles and laughter (and a few episodes of Arthur), it was safe to say that the exhaustion had caught up to him. The emptiness of the bed and the silence filling the condo told him that she had probably already left, and the bright sun shining through the blinds on the winter day that it was probably sometime around noon.

As he rolled over to look at the clock on the bedside table, he noticed an orange notecard sitting there. Picking it up, he started reading it, his furrowed eyebrows and slight frown quickly turning into a big goofy smile. “Good morning (or afternoon) baby! I have classes until 5 today, and then I’ll be home as quickly as my feet will let me. I baked some muffins before leaving, but remember - “only one sample per customer please!” Kidding, DEVOUR as many as you want! See you later!” was scribbled across the little paper, with a little heart drawn on the bottom-right corner. Shawn imagined her writing the note quickly in that felt-tip pen she was obsessed with and couldn’t stop talking about, chuckling at the reference she’d made to the episode they’d been watching the night before - only y/n would remember obscure lines like that.

Ever since that day, it had practically become a custom - every time he was over, she’d leave him a little note for him to find and smile at. Finding spots that would be unexpected yet upfront enough for the oblivious boy to notice them was a challenge, but y/n always had fun watching him walk past the little piece of paper over and over again, until she’d get fed up and start dropping very obvious hints.

If he was traveling, she would make sure to send him sweet messages as often as she could, ranging from simple texts saying “I hope you have a great day bub!” to heartfelt messages about how much she appreciated him and all that he did. Sometimes, she would just send him pictures of adorable little things she’d seen on her way home from class, other times, images of something at the mall that reminded her of him. No matter what, even if they were arguing, there would always be a little heartfelt message or note that would come through, and just like that, everything would suddenly feel okay.

Shawn lay there, gently running his hand up and down her arm, thinking about how grateful he is to have someone so caring in his life. The amount of love she had for not just him, but people in general, and how willing she was to go out of her way to help anyone she could left him in awe every single time. Just when he thought that there was no way a person could be any kinder, she would do something and leave him awestruck.

Shawn sat across the table from her at the little restaurant they were at, both of them in a fit of giggles over a crazy incident from tour Shawn had brought up. Y/n looked over as the bells over the front door chimed and a young couple walked in with their toddler. The little kid made eye contact with y/n and waved at her, earning a little grabby wave in return.

“I love children so much,” she told Shawn with a soft smile on her face. “There’s just something about them being so innocent and carefree that’s just beautiful to see.”

Shawn nodded softly, thinking about how wonderful it would be to have a little family of his own someday. “I’m just going to use the restroom really quickly,” he excused himself, pointing in the general direction of the loo.

When he came back to the table, he noticed that y/n was missing. Confused, he looked around, only for his eyes to land on her talking to the couple they had seen earlier. As he began walking over to her, he realized that she appeared to be translating something between the family and the waitress. Quickly, he understood the situation and sat back down at their table, watching her patiently talking to both parties.

A few minutes later, when she had finished helping the family, from what Shawn presumed to be ordering their food, she was warmly telling the couple something while pointing over to her and Shawn’s table. As she turned and saw Shawn sitting there, she smiled and said a quick goodbye to the family, giving the little boy a high-five and making her way back to Shawn, who had been watching with his adorable Bambi eyes.

“I’m so sorry I left midway, they’re new here and can’t speak English very well and were having trouble ordering their meal. I heard them speaking when they were walking in and figured I’d be able to translate since I’m fluent enough, so I went over and helped them. I didn’t realize you were already back, I would’ve cut our conversation short if I’d seen you,” she explained.

“No, honey, don’t worry about it one bit,” Shawn replied, gently grabbing her hand across the table. “You’re so insanely sweet, I don’t know what I did to deserve such a kind girlfriend like you. I’m sure they appreciate you so much right now darling, I’m glad you helped them out.” She blushed, quickly shifting the focus of the conversation to anything but herself.

He wished she wouldn’t brush his compliments off so easily. In that moment, he made it his goal to make her realize that she was worthy of every single praise the world had to offer, one day at a time.

Shawn still didn’t understand how someone could hold so much beauty in their soul, and moreover, how he got so lucky to make that someone such a big part of his life.

Gently stroking her hair off her face, his mind wandered to their weekly movie nights. Fridays had always been designated to be theirs and theirs alone, although movie-watching rarely actually happened - updating each other about their lives was what the chatterboxes were usually up to. Staring up at the ceiling, he was taken back to the previous night.

It had been an extremely long week for both of them. Shawn had spent a large chunk of it at the studio, and with finals soon approaching, y/n had been spending a lot of time in class and then at the resource center with her classmates. They both deserved to take a genuine break to spend time with each other, and that was exactly what they did.

It was a very silent night in his condo, both of them laying in bed entangled in one another, just enjoying each other’s presence. A movie played in the background, neither of them caring enough to watch it or turn it off.

“Are you cold honey?” Shawn asked y/n, noticing how she had been trying to bury herself into him. He chuckled to himself when she tiredly mumbled a “yes” and whined a little as he got up to get them both a blanket. Turning off the movie, he placed the blanket on her and quickly got under it. She snuggled right into him again, falling asleep almost instantly, leaving a soft smile on his face.

His feet were sticking out of the blanket, courtesy of her gathering the entirety of it. Was he cold? A little bit. Was he going to move even the slightest bit and risk waking her up after she was finally giving herself the rest she needed? Hell no. He just cuddled right back into her and held her tighter, enjoying the warmth she was radiating. In that moment, regardless of the fact that his feet were a little uncomfortable, everything felt right. It felt like there was nothing in the world that could bring him down as long as she was in his arms, like that moment was written in his destiny and he’d finally achieved it.

He’d fallen asleep with the same warmth in his chest that he woke up with. Everything felt okay, and there was nothing he wanted to do more than hold her and cuddle her and make sure she was happy in every waking moment. He knew that wasn’t possible, but that’s what his heart wished it could do.

He was drawing little shapes on her arm, and hadn’t realized she’d woken up until he heard her mumble, “You’re staring again babe.”

Gasping, Shawn quickly pulled the “No I’m not, you must have been dreaming” card.

Slightly more awake by this point, y/n decided to mess with him a little. “You know what, you’re right. Why would you be staring at me? My hair is gross and sticky, my lips are most definitely chapped and-”

“What are you talking about? Y/n, you’re absolutely gorgeous no matter how much effort you’ve put into looking it. Besides, even though your hair is plastered to your forehead and your face is puffy, you’ve never looked lovelier to me. There’s no other sight in the world I’d rather wake up to, honey, I hope you understand that.”

Blushing, she cooed and hid her face in his neck, feeling his chest booming underneath her as he let out a hearty chuckle at her cute antics. Shawn was supposed to be the one getting all flustered here, not y/n, she really hadn’t seen this mushiness coming - at least not this early in the morning.

As his laughter died down, the room was engulfed by a comforting silence.Of course, y/n being y/n, had her mind running the whole time to come up with a new way to tease Shawn. As an idea crossed her mind, her eyes lit up, and she looked up at him.

“Shawn?”

“Hmm?”

“So you were staring,” she giggled, getting up and running away as his eyes went wide.

If reflecting on everything in the last little while hadn’t made him sure of it, watching her run out of the room completely engulfed by his shirt definitely did - he loved her. He, Shawn Peter Raul Mendes, was completely in love with y/n y/l/n. All that was left to do now was to find a special way to tell her.

[thefairygodmotheryoudeserve]

Thank You, Dear Last Night’s Mental Breakdown.

| Barista!Han Jisung Au |

 💌  Requested? Yes --  @jone-00​

🌸  Genre: Fluff, a hint of a hint of Angst. As much angst as a Strawberry flavored La Croix has Strawberry.

✏️ Word Count: 2,600

!GIFS ARE NOT MINE!

T/W: Mentions of a mental breakdown, doesn’t go into detail.

A/N: Get ready, you bean. We about to enter some emotional and fluffy territory. Bring yo shades-- to look cool AND to make sure people can’t see you crying.

Also I’m sorry if this secretly sucks and I have no idea. Leave your thoughts so I can improve and know what’s good and what isn’t! I read all feedback and they all are important to me! <3

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You breathe out, the light sunshine kissing your lashes as your eyes flutter open. The buzz of your alarm fills the air.

Your eyes glide softly to the dress you hung up on your bedroom doorknob. The early sunrise sets the warm shadows of your room across the lightly pleated skirt. The fabric’s rosy pastel-pink hues are cast onto the white paint of your door.

You breath in, and out again. Let’s begin.

You had a mental breakdown the night before. They aren’t an irregular thing for you, but you wish badly they are. After crying, trembling, and crumbling slowly for hours, you stopped suddenly. You clenched your fists and stared, determined, into your very own eyes through that mirror.

I’m not going to let you fall apart like this anymore. I can’t-- I won’t.

So you stood up, breathing shakily. Scared, you started making preparations for what you were determined to be a better tomorrow.

What can I do that would make my younger self proud? You jot down ideas that would suddenly come to you as you set clothes out, put trash in a bin, and tried your best to write reminders.

“Making your younger self proud” has always been a way to measure how happy you are with where you’re at in life. You saw it in a newspaper, or maybe your mother heard it-- it might have even been a popular Tumblr text post, who knows! You just know it’s been your compass to point you in the right direction for about three years now.

You have an emotional attachment to the things you went through as a child, and if you could go back in time and just hold her, and tell her everything would be okay, you would. Doing things that would make younger-you smile is your way of doing that.

I’ll go to the cafe in a pretty dress that makes me feel happy, you wrote carefully. You remembered as a child dreaming about romantic cafes and old books. You sighed, releasing pent up air, feeling your muscles relax, little by little. If I did that, I think that would make my younger self proud...

By the time you made it to your bed that night, it was only 9:12pm. You fell down in your bed and closed your eyes, feeling your space. Your favorite-but-forgotten dress that now hung there on your door; the sneakers you once bought yourself and have finally decided to wear; the alarm clock that, for the first time in three years, was set for 6:00am; and a notebook full of ideas to return to the person you never were but always wanted to be, that sits on your bedside table.

You fell asleep, muscles relaxing. You, melting into your bed, almost becoming one with it.

* * *

Fast forward to where we started-- you are sitting upright in bed and staring at your dress. It seems to stare right back at you. Can you really do this, Y/N?

“Can I do this?”

Yes. I will.

You swing your legs over your bed, and you feel the fear begin to fall away like an old skin being shed from a new body. Suddenly, you feel light and happy, slipping on the bright-white wedge sneakers. The dress glides down your body, the fabric sending shivers up your spine as it falls into place.

As you pull the zipper up the side of your torso. you think about what you’re going to order when you get to the cafe. I haven’t been there since my mother came to the university to drop me off. I miss her... what did she order that day? I hope I can remember once I get there.

* * *

The jingle of tiny bells above the door tickles your ears as you swing the glass door open. The cafe is mostly empty, other than a mother and her child quietly sitting in a booth by the window. Succulents and aged books lined hanging shelves on either side of the room. The hanging lights gave the cafe a soft industrial feel, and the glass pastry displays made the room that much sweeter. Mom had chosen this cafe because she said it felt like a secret place that only few knew about... She liked how special it felt because of that. You smile softly at the thought of your mother. I think ill come here more often. I miss her.

A boy from behind the counter snaps his head up to look at you, his blond bangs tossing lightly as he does so. “W.. would you like something?”

You snap out of your daze and realize how long you’ve been just standing there in the doorway, staring at everything. You lock eyes with the boy.

“Oh! Uh-- yeah, I’m sorry! Ahm...” You stutter.

“Don’t worry about it!” He waves it off.

You brush your hair behind your ears and walk to the counter. You quickly read his name tag. Jisung.

His bright smile puts you at a light and airy ease. Maybe I wasn’t as awkward as I thought I was being...?

“Have you been here before...?” He tilted his head to the side like a little kid, eyebrows raised curiously.

Wow. That was attractive.

“Um, kind of... i’ve only been here once. When my brother-- mother!-- brought me... yeah, haha..”

Sparkling conversationalist.

...Wait-- don’t insult yourself! Be positive, Y/N!! You can make your younger self proud today!!!!

You open your mouth to speak, but you don’t know what to say, so you immediately shut it again.

Why is talking to pretty boys so hard?

NO! JUST GO FOR IT! F L I r T !! WHAT DO YOU WANT IN LIFE, HAH?

“...So anyway, that’s basically all we’ve got at this cafe right now.” He looks at you, smiling patiently.

Wait, has he been talking to me this whole time? Agh! I haven’t even been listening!

“Oh! I forgot, we also have--”

“Do you come here often?”

Well. You just made things worse, didn’t you?

“What?”

CODE RED CODE RED CODEREDCODEREDCODEREDCODEREDCODEREDCODEREDCODEREDCO

This is not a thing that makes your younger self proud, Y/N. This is the opposite.

YOU JUST ASKED THE BARISTA IF HE COMES HERE OFTEN. YOU NOW HAVE PERMISSION TO RIP OFF YOUR ANKLES.

You watch in horror as he stares at you, frozen to the touch, with those eyes.

“Oh! Did you ask me if I come here often? I thought I didn’t hear what you said at first. Yeah-- I work here actually! Thanks for asking!” I smiles, oblivious to your failed flirting.

“Oh, um. S-sure thing!”

Mission... not abort..ed?

Well-- This means I don’t ever have to think what happened ever again! Wonderful.

You aren’t sure if he’s actually dumb or if you just suck at reading him-- but either way, there’s no escaping the situation now. Unless you’re willing to literally sprint out of the cafe and run all the way back to your apartment, lock the door, and cry in the shower.

But, unfortunately for everyone else, you aren’t willing to do that.

“Um, when my mom came here, she ordered something really specific, but I can’t remember what it was called or anything...,” You say hesitantly.

“Yeah-- Don’t worry at all! Do you remember what it looked or tasted like at all?”

His enthusiasm encourages you and you feel brighter. “Yeah! Uh, it had strawberries in it, and a special kind of cream-- I think? And then there was this special topping she got on it. It was green? The topping? Sorry if that sounds totally dumb, but I just now that it-- they-- were green, I guess, haha!” You feel your heart start to beat faster the more you talk to him. Why am I nervous? and stuttering?? It’s just a drink, jeez.

Suddenly excited, his eyes squint with a wide smile. “Ooohhh! Were they mint spirals, maybe? I love those soooo much!!!”. You don’t even know what those are, but that isn’t gonna stop you from nodding excitedly with him. It would have been hard not to. When he smiles you kind of just want to join on the thrill, I guess.

You notice a whisper of heat brushing against your cheeks as he turns to the chalkboard behind him and points at a meticulous drawing of a fluffy pink drink. “Did it look like that??”

Excited to have found your mom’s favorite drink, you nod, a big smile leaving your eyes in the shape of giggling crescents. “Yes! Yeah! That’s exactly it, I think!”

His sunshine-smile turns half shy. “Great! I’ll get that just for you then...,” He softly says. He turns his back to you as he hurries around behind the counter to concoct the drink.

Were his cheeks flushed like that this whole time?

... Whatever...

You carefully sit down at one of the pretty little cafe tables closest to the counter so you can be ready to grab your drink as soon as it’s ready. You have maybe a few minutes, so you pull your notebook with the chestnut leather cover out from your purse. You open the middle of the book to where you urgently wrote down the ideas the night before.

things that would make my younger self proud of me:

- keeping a journal

- keeping my body clean

- wearing the clothes that make me feel peaceful

- waking up at a time that makes me feel happy

- wearing the clothes I’m scared others will judge me for

- going to the cafe in a pretty dress that makes me feel happy

- talking to people I feel like talking to but am scared to

- going on a cute date say sike rn

Smiling to yourself, you use a pencil to put a check next to the third-to-last one. You thought of scratching it out, but you didn’t want it to be gone from your precious list completely... you feel you’ll be coming back soon. You like how it feels.

Nevertheless, you are glad you’re here. You’ve gathered the courage to come here when it’s been so hard for you lately! You look down at your lap and give a sigh of relief. Closing your eyes, you take in how it feels to be here.

It’s different, but warm here. It smells of both exotic and familiar flavors. The lullaby effect of the fluffy low-fi music overhead mixed with the gentle metallic sounds of Jisung working behind the counter is somehow comforting. You lift your head and peak over at him slyly, watching as he leans against the mixing machine. He seems to be waiting on something.

You watch almost in shock as he slowly peeks over his shoulder to look at you, making quick eye-contact on accident. You smile instinctively-- not even knowing why.

He turns his face back to what he was doing as soon as this moment happens and you notice a smile he’s hiding and the blush that’s growing on his face. You turn your body to see more of his turned-away face from where you’re at, and as you do, you spy the massive smile he’s desperately trying to hide. Oh dear, he’s adorable.

Bubbles rise in your stomach and your lungs seem to fill with cotton candy as his undeniably-cute, blushing self hits you all at once.

-- o h. Oh n o.

You lean back in your chair again, suddenly very worried.

No? No. No!

It always gets bad once I get crushes on people.

You make an immediate promise to yourself to not at all drop any hints that you kind of want to mayhaps hold this almost-stranger’s hand. Flirting is fine when you don’t actually like the person-- once you genuinely develop feelings, it’s absolutely not a good idea anymore. Everyone knows that. Good, cute things with crushes only happen in fan-fiction and Wattpad stories.

Sike.

All of a sudden, you notice the sound of clinking and whirring has stopped from behind the counter.

“Am-- uh-- am I interrupting you... at all, or something?”

Reality crashes into your view again as you tilt your head up and to the side to lock eyes with Jisung. Ah.

“W--what?”

“Ahm, you just looked kind of... really worried about something.” He furrows his brows, confused. “Anyway-- here’s your drink!”

“Oh-- thank you! Yeah, I was just-- thinking about something! Haha!

He sets your drink on the table and pauses for a moment. “By the way, your dress is really pretty, I think.” Jisung Blush: Activated. “Don’t mean that in a weird way! I just thought you maybe might like to know...”

🎵 KISS KISS FALL IN LOOOVE 🎵🎵🎵🎵

“Oh, thanks! I actually tried this morning, haha!”

“Oh, yeah? Well I think you look great. But you already know that, i guess, haha..” Jisung Confidence: Boosted-- Reason: Compliment Accepted.

You feel your ears heat up as you avert your eyes, looking down at your drink. “Thanks again! It’s funny because I didn’t even have an occasion to dress up for. I just sort of did it to treat myself, I guess.” You smile softly, proud.

“Isn’t that enough of an occasion? I think celebrating yourself is a worthwhile thing.” He sits down across from you, muttering something about how nobody is going to show up to the cafe in a while.

You look up at him, smiling in agreement. “Right? It really helps to take care of yourself. I think it’s one of the best ways to pick yourself back up from something hard.”

He tilts his head like he did before, but this time with worry. “Are you going through something..?... Oh, you don’t have to answer! I pry without thinking first sometimes...”

“No, no! It’s okay. I don’t mind talking about it to others, it’s good for people who need to hear it...” Why do I feel so comfortable with telling him about this..? I’m sure it won’t do any harm. He’s being genuine after all...

“Well, if you really do feel like telling me, we won’t be having customers again until about 10:30-ish. I’m all ears!”

Your heart said: Oof.

As soon as you start explaining the night before and all that lead up to it, he leans in, his hands cupping his face, intent on every word you say. You tell him about all the stress, issues, and fears-- both self-inflicted and otherwise-- that are holding you down lately. He nods and listens, asking clarifying questions.

You notice how his reactions remain compassionate when you talk about the hard things that are happening because of your own mistakes. A feeling of warmth and safety sets in after you finishing your monologue. You apologize for taking so long-- maybe thirty minutes?-- but he immediately tells you it’s all okay.

“No, please don’t say sorry!! I really am grateful when people share what they are going through with me... It helps me to connect with them better and find ways to help them feel better. Don’t be sorry.” He softly smiles and gently asks if you are all done.

“Yeah-- heh-- i’m done. Thank you so much for listening! I’m really grateful I have-- had-- someone to listen to me...” You rub your eyes worriedly, afraid you might have started crying at some point while telling him the whole story.

He stares down at the table for a moment, quiet. “Hey, wanna be random?”

You giggle. “Always.”

“Wanna go on a date?”

“What?”

“I understand if you don’t want to. You seem to be working through a lot of things right now... I don’t want to--” Jisung Blush: Reactivated And Intensified.

“Yes.”

“WhAT?”

“Yeah!.. I think that would be awesome.”

Jisung is suddenly beaming, which makes you instantly happier. Dang, mirror neurons are so cute.