#wowwwww so this is the feeling i’ve been missing out on

[zayylmao]

Script Writing

J: When you say, “would you be a helper?”, the word helper translates to identity, and it makes people want to help more because everyone wants to be a helper. But when you say, “can you help me?”, usually the first thing your mind pulls is “I don’t have the time right now to help anyone, I can’t help you”. It’s a play on words and language that tugs at identity and convinces people to listen to you and your ideas. I’ve been practicing all of that, and yesterday I did so well and that’s the best I’ve ever done in an interview.

A: I need that, I’m going to start reconstructing my sentences and pausing mid convo to gather my thoughts. I need to reinforce my efforts on my shop.

J: Yep. Convince them of your ideas and brand. When you think someone is right, your mind begins to instantaneously like them, because you think “You know what? You’re right” and your bias starts to kick in.

A few seconds go by before the conversation topic changes.

A: I took down my recent listing. It went 3 cycles without receiving a-

J: A bid? Yeah, just keep em. Keep em in your collection.

A:  I still think- I still want to take pictures of Ezra because I’m optimistic that he’ll fetch a good return. At least $20 without the helmet.

J: Without the helmet?

A: Yeah, I have two of him and one came without the helmet, which creates a $30 gap between the two. The helmet is where the value is, alone I’ve seen it sell for $35.

J: Wow-

A: The helmet is where the value is, alone I’ve seen it sell for $35.

J: Oh wowwwww!

A: Surprisingly Lego is not something that depreciates. One need only find a suitable market for their wares, and they will be rewarded.

J: So, which of your others are you selling?

A: None as of right now, they’re all going to be part of my collection until I can get at least $300 back for all of them, if not more. If I sit on them, someone in the future will be silly enough to overpay me for them. My data pool on that hypothesis is large. Bricklink tells me an item’s sale activity and prices over a certain period of time, so I’m not stressed about my asking prices.

J: That’s the kind of research that is required, something that I missed when I tried to start my sticker shop. I had no price basis, no friends who could hook me up and no online personality for people to bond with. I feel like my lack of interaction with online communities may have ultimately been my doom.

A: I get it though, because you and I are similar, and I know we prefer to have a personal life that is completely hidden and untouched by the outside world and by putting yourself out there it becomes harder to find that space we desire.

J: Plus, we’re introverts. We’re not afraid of people but the way we recharge our batter is alone in our private space and that’s just not how it is for some people.

A: The industry is calling your name, though. Soon you’ll be back into a job.

J: Hopefully a job I enjoy…you ready to go?

A: Yeah, let’s go get those drinks.They both get up from the table and walk offstage side by side

[sickkbunny]

i’m so emotionally stable n sane n normal rn it’s crazy. like knowing i’m not in the wrong n didn’t handle a situation like shit makes me feel so good 🤠 ur doing it bae ur healing

[calltomuster]

(Even More) Star Wars Fic Recs

[first fic rec list] [second fic rec list]

Hello everyone, happy Monday! I've been reading some fantastic fics recently and wanted to share them with you. May 4th was an absolutely glorious day to be a Star Wars fanfic reader, but the downside to having so many great stories posted on way day is that it's super easy to miss some, so I tried to highlight some here, as well as the usual random assortment.

Alternating Current by @jessepinwheel (gen, WIP, 1/3 chapters, 5.7k words) I am subscribed to @jessepinwheel's AO3 account, that's how much I love all of their writing, and this is just their latest masterpiece. The premise is that after Naboo, Obi-Wan starts experiencing some strange things, almost as if there's someone else in his body. But it doesn't feel like a foreign presence in his mind... And, well, the presence calls themselves Ben. I'm so, so intrigued to see what happens next in this story.

See, I'm the Living Icarus by @crispyjenkins (Rex/Obi-Wan, WIP, 2/6 chapters, 7.0k words) Role-reversal with Obi-Wan as Anakin's Padawan post-Melida/Daan fighting in the Clone Wars alongside Rex. Yeah, that's what I thought -- you're hooked, right? I was too. And then I read the first two chapters and wowwwww, just got even more obsessed. It's all just *chef's kiss*. Cannot wait to read more.

Off Duty by thosenearandfarwars (Obi-Wan/Cody, one-shot, 4.4k words) A post-ROTS world in which the Jedi were not destroyed, the clones are given reparations, and Obi-Wan throws his whole self into reforming the Jedi Order. It's from Cody's POV as he tries to stop his (former?) General from running himself into the ground. Featuring Jedi culture, positive change, some fun namedrops (Chirrut?!), and CODYWAN! Highly recommend this fic.

Starting Over by @ewanmcgregorismyhomeboy12 (Obi-Wan/Cody, one-shot, 3.8k words) Speaking of amazing ideal post-ROTS AUs with Codywan, here's another! This one is described in the tags as being soft and domestic, and it totally is. Cody + plants + Obi-Wan = delight. Such a pleasure to read. Makes you feel all cozy inside.

Finders Keepers by SpaceWall (Obi-Wan/Cody + a ton of background ships, 2/2 chapters, 8.4k words) This fic is a soulmate AU that follows the premise that everything you lose, your soulmate ends up finding. It really does an excellent job of exploring this fascinating premise, and using it in ways I wouldn't have thought of. Like, something happens with Anakin that is just so beautiful yet haunting, I just... Ah! The main ship here is Codywan, but there are so many great background ships like Aayla and Bly or Anakin and Padmé, and some that are super interesting, like Satine and Rex, or Fox and Bail and Breha Organa. Fascinating stuff!

Benediction by @misskirby (gen, one-shot, 3.3k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Each new fic by @misskirby destroys me, and this one is no different except it's destroying me with HAPPY THINGS and POSITIVE EMOTIONS for once. My heart hurts just thinking about it, not because it makes me sad, but just in a... ahhh I don't know, the emotions, okay?! Obi-Wan is watching the twins with Anakin in a ROTS-didn't-happen AU and they actually TALK? With their words? And express positive feelings towards each other without being put in horrible situations? Like I said, AU 😂. This is so, so good. (This fic was not posted on May 4th, but @misskirby did post Stride for Stride on that day, which is an excellent fic about Obi-Wan and Anakin sparring for Ahsoka that you all also must read.)

still much that is fair by RaineyDay (gen, 8/8 chapters, 21.1k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Massive trigger warning right off the bat for this one, because it starts off with Padawan Obi-Wan trying to commit suicide by throwing himself off of the Temple roof, except instead of dying, he ends up getting caught by -- Anakin?! Somehow he ends up in the future to find out that he's loved, and a good Jedi. Back in his own timeline, Qui-Gon thinks his Padawan has just succeeded in killing himself, and is distraught and has to reckon with their relationship. Don't worry, it has a happy ending! Give Obi-Wan a hug 2k21!

trouble with the curve by jimmytiberius (Cody/Obi-Wan, one-shot, 2.4k words) Modern day baseball AU! Cody is the analytics guy whose job it is to watch Kenobi and how people hit off of him, and Rex is Obi-Wan's normal bullpen catcher. Problem is, Rex is a little hungover, so Cody has to secretly take his brother's place and hope no one notices. Sparks fly!! You guys, this fic is awesome. You don't need to know anything about baseball to read it, though if you do it adds another delightful dimension. Highly recommend! I smile just thinking about this fic!

Lasting Marks by kyitsya (gen, 10/10 chapters, 25.8k words, Obi-Wan & Rex) I reread this fic the other day and it was just as emotionally devastating the second or third time around. It follows Obi-Wan and Rex in the Zygerria arc, except they're trapped in the mines for weeks and things really take a toll. Obi-Wan and Rex's relationship is not one that's explored much in canon, so it's really cool to see a bond form here. I also really like the later subplot with Ahsoka.

Got Me in a Tricky Situation by @dharmaavocado (pre Rex/Obi-Wan, one-shot, 5.2k words) Rex and Obi-Wan are trapped together underneath a collapsed building and they have to literally and metaphorically hold onto each other for support. I absolutely love the descriptions in this one, they're killer (almost literally haha). Some great good ol' fashioned whump. Love it!

A Long Way Down by @kckenobi (gen, one-shot, 3.8k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) @kckenobi writes truly wonderful fics, but I gotta say I think this is my favorite. Obi-Wan and Anakin are trying to escape Separatists by climbing up a cliff face, but Obi-Wan's injured and he's really struggling to hold on... Oh, everything about this is perfect: the characterizations, the descriptions, the dialogue, everything! I reread this one all the time.

If you like any of these fics, please consider reblogging so they can get more exposure! And if you noticed I missed someone’s Tumblr account, or linked the wrong one, please let me know!

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 30+31.12.20 lbs

30.12.20

lmao ep starts off itself with vansh and kabir ka staring match.

vansh steady in first place, not having blinked for................ like 3 minutes now? this dude a fucking freak.

while riddhima gazes adoringly at him thinking bhagwaan ne mujhe itnaaaaaaaaaa achcha pati diya hai. pft. idk what the hell sins you did in your last life riddhima, to get a husband like this one in this life, but it had to be something reallllllllllll bad. like stealing from little orphans and kicking puppies or some shit.

thankfully dadi is here to put an end to this chutiyaapa.

countdown blah blah, no1 currrrrrrrrr.

itna pheeeeeeeeeenka happy new year. bhai-behen ho kya???

now we talking.

he just says some trite shit like new kahaani that will be remembered for ages blah blah and gives creepy looks. dude why can’t you be normal on oneeeee bloody day?

ahaana also giving random creepy looks seeing vansh/riddhima hugging. and she goes and............

i think i watch this show and rrahul a little too closely ki i instantly knew this isn’t his hand and thus it’s not vansh’s hand she’s holding.

yupppppppppp. bola tha na.

damn they make a hotass couple of shady bitches.

ok wow i’m really feeling it. wish kabir wasn’t a sociopath who is incapable of feeling attachment (“love” is too strong a word) for anyone but his mother.

lmao his reaction when ahaana tells him ki riddhima didn’t believe any of the pattiii she padaofied her about vansh.

ok but how do these two know each other??? matlab yeh le aaya hai issko? i thought vansh le aaya hoga?!!?

mereko kya kaunsa manhoos le aaya? i’m just here for the attractive ppl pressing their bodies up against each other. keep on keeping on, #KaHana

he’s warning her against ever double-crossing him and dude the angry/hate-sex vibes here are *~~~ExQuISiTe*~~~~

the way she’s confidently gazing at him all sexy tells me she’s a much more seasoned player than riddhima and i already love her more than the damn lead of the show.

damn. that’s a gnarly period you got riddhima. that’s an unusual amount of flow. go see a doctor about it, sis.

i’ve heard about ppl making art with menstrual blood and all, but this is fucking ridiculous.

anyway of course the dumbass goes investigating it. and got fucking attacked in the storeroom and SOMEONE HUNG HER UP. LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THIS MESSED UP HOUSE DUDE????/ WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU STILLL LIVE HERE????

Chehra Appreciation Break

asadkjasldjlaskdjlsakjdlas the way he’s yelling for everyone and interrogating them of their whereabouts coz riddhima’s missing.

lmao ishani and ahaana’s reactions at this temper tantrum are fucking amazing.

dang what’s with the suuuuuper orange lower half of his face???? ugh. the foundation woes are back now that the beard’s growing back in.

anyway he went barrelling off to find her after some more chabaaya hua dhamkis at his fam. ahaana already regretting moving into this pagaal khaana.

this scene is so fucking disturbing to watch that i don’t even wanna fucking cap it. but she was legit getting HANGED and he managed to get there in the nick of time and save her.

how, you ask? BY SHOOTING AT THE ROPE, INSTEAD OF JUST.......... DOING SOMETHING NORMAL LIKE RUNNING AND PUTTING THE STOOL BACK UNDER HER FEET TO STABILIZE HER. THIS SHOW IS JUST FUCKING BATSHIT INSANE, MY LORD.

this poor girl, my god. i don’t think i’ve ever watched a tellywood FL be tortured to the extent that this one is on a daily basis. it’s fucking ridiculous. there’s no redemption for any of the raisinghanias at this point. she just needs to fucking leave (and file several domestic violence cases against each and every one of them, except dadi.)

anyway she tells him whatever went down today, starting from the period blood fiasco onwards and he’s........ vibrating in anger. cool i guess.

some promises and shit about how who ever did this will pay, time for “humaara khel” and .......... dude. you say this shit every single time. and nothing changes. i don’t give a fuck anymore about your stupid promises. move the fuck outta this hellhole with your wife if you really mean it.

seedha jaake ahaana ke sar pe bandook taan di. based on what evidence? only the Good Lord above knows, coz vansh and the writers sure don’t.

no literally based on what is he accusing her and pulling the trigger??????? idgi??????

almost shot her and is saying “riddhima pe kharonchh nahi aani chahiye, baat ishq aur vishwaas ki hai” and ahaana is giggling and literally what the fuck is going on i’m so confused.

ahaana saying wowwwww, you want revenge also, and she shouldn’t get hurt also.

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE’S THE ONE WHO BROUGHT AHAANA IN!!!!!!!!!!!!

literally what the fuck is this dude on???? badla chahiye, par dard nahi hona chahiye. bhai, kya phoonk ke aaye ho, humein bhi toh thoda de do.

ok this is tooooo fucking convoluted a game. riddhima thinks kabir is the one attacking her. but it’s kabir + ahaana. kabir thinks ahaana is on his side and brought her into VR mansion, but ahaana is double agent who was actually planted in kabir’s nazar by vansh to fuck over BOTH kabir and riddhima. i think?????????

ahaana be like re devaaaaaa, what fucking madness have i gotten myself into????????????? the things i have to do for health insurance coverage during a pandemic.

———————————————————————

31.12.20

first 5 minutes is some new year ka naach gaana bs. fwding.

ok this fucker is a legit motherflipping crazy. he just wants to keep torturing riddhima for god knows how long.

even ahaana is alarmed.

did he do absolutely noooooo research after the cliff chhalaang? like....... this revenge shit is so dumb at this point, when he knows she brought in vihaan to stop kabir from ruining the family, and took a second fucking bullet for him?!?!?!?!?!?! they shouldn’t have written the second gunshot plot point, coz now he looks like a reallllllllll unappreciative fucker for whom literally no good deed is enough.

WHAT PYAAR AND VISHWAAS, FUCKER???????? LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????? YOU’VE PLAYED THESE GAMES WITH HER FROM THE VERY START OF YOUR MARRIAGE AND MAYBE TOOK A BREAK FOR A WEEK OR TWO IN BETWEEN - WHEN SHE GOT SHOT THE FIRST TIME AND DURING ISHANI’S WEDDING. THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT??????/ LIKE.......... THIS MAKES NO BLOODY SENSE. THIS CHARACTER IS JUST SUCH A SUPREME DOUCHEBAG, MY GOD. THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO REDEEMING HIM WHATSOEVER.

also can’t say rrahul’s extra chabaaaaa chabaaaaaaa ke bolna is making this enjoyable to watch at all.

all i wanna know is what ahaana has on him that he’s indebted to her and thought her worthy enough to join forces with. SPILL SPILL SPILL SPILL!!!!!!!!!!!! what does ahaana get outta all this?!!?!?!!!!!!

riddhima on the other hand running around wondering whom vansh is gonna murder. SIS YOU JUST GOT STRANGULATED CAN YOU SIT DOWN FOR A HOT SEC AND REST?!?!!?!?

ahaana is like bro you gonna ruin riddhima’s life, and he’s like yeah, that’s what i want. jesus christ, dude. just divorce her then. why prolong this shit out like this????? truly psychopathic.

riddhima hears his voice and heads to the pool area..........

............. isn’t that his shoulder there behind the tree? is she fucking blind???????? HOW CAN SHE NOT SEE HIS 7 FOOT TALL HULKING ASS BEHIND THAT PATLA SA JHAADI?????? HE’S LITERALLY THERE LIKE........

........... she left. god. she’s really really REALLY stupid. like pretty sure these crimes against her count as extraaaaaaaaa bad....... like, pick on someone with your own brain capacity, vansh? leave the simple minded sis alone!

the only gift that’s acceptable from you rn sir, is divorce papers. and a self-filed restraining order promising to stay 3 whole districts away.

yikes, that beard is notttttt growing in well.

“tum mujhe apne saare stress de do.” BITCH YOU’RE HER BIGGEST STRESS. ASSHOLE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

“tumse door jaake jaaonga kahaan? abhi toh bohut kuch baaki hai.” fucking dieeee, you psychopath.

lmaoooooooooooooooo her face when she doesn’t understand wtf this gift is supposed to be. i’ve been there sis. trying to fake enthusiasm for some reallllll bad gifts from men is truly painful.

also she’s so dang cute when they let her use her face properly!!!!!! har waqt bechaari ko bass rulaate rehte hain iss show mein.

one ainvayiiii gift ke bahaane some random cuteness.

sis gazing at him some more thinking omg he loves me soooooooo much.

she remembered ahaana’s warning, and is like no she was lying to me!!!!!!!!! stupid stupid stupiddddddd. no matter whoever planted her, you should believe that sister over your haraami misters. motive jo bhi ho, bol toh behen sach hi rahi thi.

yuck that looks ugly af. why the hell would you want that on your bedroom wall? esp. when your bedroom is already so goddamn fugly.

anyway he’s gaslighting her some more about ahaana blah blah.

riddhima like i’ll prove it. le, iska jee nahi bharaa. she wants to do more jasoosi and go get stuck in random traps that try to kill her.

vansh promising he’ll throw ahaana and her partners out if she can prove it. meaning you’ll........... throw yourself out?????

whatever man, idk and idc anymore what this fucker does. i’m just here for the faces.

threatening notes planted in all these ppl’s rooms. everyone instantly like OMG VANSHHHHHHHHHHH DID THISSSSS. lol coz who else does this chutiyaapa of leaving random messages around like this.

but nope. chachi saw riddhima’s earring lying there and knows it’s her.

isko bhi mila.

lmao kabir rueing the day he set eyes on riddhima coz jeena haraam kar rakha hai ladki ne.

riddhima like mwahahahahhaha they must have got my notes and now they’ll come attack me! behen, woh toh note ke bina bhi roz karte aaye hain...............

there. promptly got jumped.

surprise, surprise.

lol attitude toh dekho behen ka. wish she was the lead of the show instead of riddhima.

[wo-wann-was-wer]

WHAT I WAS THINKING: DARK SEASON 3 EDITION

EPISODE 1:

Who are these dudes with the harelip and what do they want

Why did she just take him to a cave and leave that’s kinda rude

So everything in this universe is just gonna be backwards. Love it

Ugh I’ve said this a million times but this show has such Fringe energy and I can’t wait to get a tattoo for this too

This is super freaking me out, i dont like that everyone’s in everyone else’s house.

Ooooh Katharina with glasses yes girl you better work.

I like Michael and this hat he’s rocking

Super into the fact that magnus and fransizka are involved in this universe too

There’s nothing cuter than sex before school. Ahhh the nostalgia

Ten bucks says that Hannah gets out of this bed and is pregnant

Fucking YEP

I am loving Martha in this Jonas journey

I know that all they did was flip the lens of the camera but my brain is breaking at this flipped Winden

Who the fuck is this random dude Martha is with

You know what he kind of looks like Jonas. I wonder if that's relevant or if I'm just grasping at straws

Bartosz looks like he's going to his first grade violin recital

I straight up just did not recognize Charlotte with makeup. She looks hot

There's got to be another person in that picture other than Ulrich because that's a lot of space to rip out for one person

okay hold up Woller looks so good and then when I saw that he was missing an arm I almost lost my fucking mind

Oh shit okay Hannah is living in Katharina's house.

Oh my God are Ulrich and Charlotte having an affair

Is it normal in Germany for kids to just walk into classes that aren't there’s and just sit down

follow up he has a clear noose mark on his neck

Aleksander looks so hot with this beard. universe B is the fucking glow up universe

It's weirding me out that the whole school is black and gray instead of light brown

The look of satisfaction on katharina's face

Wow honestly Louis just broke my heart with his facial expression when he realized his mom didn't know who he was

he looks so scared

Yes yes do it afffffffffair

Oh no you done got found out!!!

Oh the theme of the play here is red and set of gold

Fransizka looks so cute in this little outfit

Oh my God she's deaf!!!!

What the fuck. the fact that this actress can talk is blowing my mind

RIP to Regina a real queen

Peter's a fucking priest

All the fucking weird-ass freaky motherfucking trio is back

The dopplers have the same house That's cool

excuse me sir I think your child is broken

these guys are so creepy What the fuck

I definitely don't like the piano wire

oh this motherfucker is the one who gets lost

I feel like winden in this universe is just a little bit fancier

Well Charlotte and Ulrich just be fucking like crazy

Bartosz is the Jonas of this group and I love it

who was that??????

I cannot get over Aleksander in this beard

I like that things are opposite but they also have things that are different enough.

Like I'm so into the fact that they all went down into the bunker

who in the unholy fuck is that. who is that

Oh shit old Martha

What the fuck is this Tannhaus’ factory we're at

hold up Martha's in 1888

What the fuck. why is Jonas in 1888 and looking SO good

EPISODE 2:

casually sitting over your bed watching you sleep

he's look so good though

yo what the fuck everybody else is there too

Oh no things got really ugly at Mads’ wake

Not for nothing but Tronte is a dick

I kind of don't understand why Claudia would want Regina to live in such pain in this type of universe

Peter is such a good boy

lurking is the freaking national past time of this place

Oh shit we got some spin-off timeline stuff good

who is This is blind guy

I love Katharina so fucking much

I know what she's thinking and it's the same thing I'm thinking which is can I kill a child

why does this picture of Tronte make him look like Jimmy Smits

Katharina looks amazing in this jacket

Also I definitely did not just start yelling GO GET YOUR MAN KATHARINA

Regina just gets more and more badass as time goes on. Also all of the women of the tiedemann family are so fucking badass

I am so excited to watch this fucking relationship develop. they're both too cute

awwww he's using signs!

oh they're writing back and forth

DAMNIT PETER

I always feel like little Noah should do fuckboy sign offs when he leaves rooms because he's so smooth

yesterday Laurel said that this was back to the future but serious and just now Bartosz said it's not super easy to get nuclear fuel in 1888 and now I think that Laurel's right

I will never get over how good he looks JONAAAASSSSSSS

This guy feels like the OG inventor of sic mundus right

Katerina why are you even trying to check in at the front desk bitch Go and get your man

Is this Katarina's mom why does she just recognize that woman's name

everyone on the show is so talented.I spend the whole damn time being like oh my god the performances on the show and it's like yeah we know

Katerina get your man

I literally love them so much look at the look on her face She is a mama bear She is not going to let anybody take her man or her children and I love her

Not a huge fan of people who quote Shakespeare right before they kill other people or am I an enormous fan of people who use Shakespeare right before they kill other people

using a garotte to kill someone is ugly as fuck

I feel so bad for Jana

see this is one of the reasons why I'm like why would you bring Regina back to this world.

wowwwww TRONTE what's up dude

YO WHAT

Oh so how did Charlotte get back there but Elizabeth's still there too. didn't they switch places?

oh the head bump

Not excited for the mother daughter abuse stuff that's about to happen

I love these split sequences that they do at the end

anytime somebody stands and stairs for a lonely at a spot on the ground I assume to somebody died there

Oh shit that guy is a tannhausokkkk I see you

a religious images we love to see it.

This show is a whole series of pause that frame.

No I ruined something for myself!!!!

EPISODE 3

got to love those through and through Ariadne references

okay so Charlotte's great great grandfather has her watch?

who are these horrible traveler human beings

they look like less sexy Francis dolarhydes

I can't get over the fact that wollers missing an arm here I swear

we ARE the glitch BITCH

alternate universe Ulrich is a better person than standard Ulrich

what's this new like zoom-y thing they're doing

I was attracted to Magnus at this jump of the show but he looks better with dark hair

How did they not all die of fucking flu

eternally repeating deja vu

I looked at the production stills and I was like what the fuck is this hair do that Moritz has but he looks amazing

Also everyone on this show deserves an acting award

and Magnus is wearing a skeleton sweater

Hannah does that deep dive detective work any bitch knows the Nose doesn't lie

why doesn't anybody want to fuck wöller

omgggg eat the RICH

also he has that x tattoo on his hand that represents the no future thing

oh the light is rectangular and not circular ooooooh fancy

The show is also a lot of people catching each other's wrists as they walk away

I knew we couldn't trust this bitch

What did he give her

I love the parallels and characters behaviors between universe a and universe b

I want to know how Noah factored into all of this on this side

Martha has a type and her type is iconically Aryan

Oh Aleksander's back with that beard he's back

Hannah is such a snake

Omg that's her!!!!! I thought she was a trans actress.. hm. not super happy bout that :/

What is Helge talking about Ulrich did what??? omg

I would be like SIR DO WE NEED TO FIGHT STOP FOLLOWING ME

I stopped taking notes for the last half of that episode cuz I was really sucked in haha

EPISODE 4

FIRST OF ALL I'D LIKE TO GO ON RECORD THAT I DON'T CARE FOR THESE GENTLEMEN AT ALL

second of all why is this guy being like oh I took your name

why does he have Agnes's bracelet I don't like that

I don't like anything about this guy That's the end of the story

Also hold up a red hot second is Agnes dead cuz if so that's a hate crime

see what did I say

I knew that Hannah was going to get involved with Egon

from the second she walked in that office I was like that bitch has her eye on him and as she should he's handsome as fuck

Also he spoils her so much more than any other man she's ever been with AKA is Egon the only man she ever deserved

Is Hannah going to develop a heart cuz I'm not sure how I feel about that

Also what happens if Hannah gets pregnant

why is Ines a bitch I thought she was mad cool the beginning and now I feel fucking deceived

Also it's such a sweet gig that The kids who are playing kids can now play teenagers

poor Doris. Also he was shitty to her but he was far nicer than I would have been

Doris is so beautiful it's bullshit

older Magnus is so handsome

All I wanted was middle-aged Martha

bitch you have been having unprotected sex with him why do you think that pregnancy was not on the tabl

I'm like who's this guy in the church if it's not Noah I bet it's that little bitch

yeah I fucking knew it

Is this the dude that was married to Agnes I feel like this guy isn't real or something

I'm not surprised he let her go but I don't know why I'm not surprised. I feel like she's important to his timeline and I'm not sure why

look at these relationships forming between these sweet little bab

Hannah looks good in this red. Hannah looks good in all of these styles. 

who is this child

I like that already as a child Bernd had his eye on Claudia as someone who was smart and had a ton of potential

 I keep forgetting that I'm taking notes because I get so invested in episodes

Also I realize the zoomi thing which is going back and forth between the universes

Is Agnes Silja’s mom And if so with whom 

he gave her Agnes’ bracelet that dope All right Tronte

Wow Claudia needs to back off her man

Claudia force him into a relationship with her

I fucking hate Hannah but sometimes she speaks so much sense

ooh I don't need anyone Yes girl that's true You don't need anyone You needing people was what made you act fucking crazy You don't need anybody

This was always my big problem with Hannah was that I initially identified with her because she was such a survivor but then she did such horrible reprehensible things I just couldn't let it go and I absolutely couldn't identify with her anymore

Oh here's my daddy Noah looking so good

I mean okay so I have been in this position before where I was cheating and then my man cheated on me and I was like how dare you but also you cannot be mad if your partner cheats on you when you cheated too. You both fucked up

Is Hannah going to have a redemption arc cuz that's a lot

Oh my God she's not going to get rid of this child is she

Oh my great God I cannot believe that she gave Helene that necklace. 

I knew she was fucking connected to Katharina in the older generation I knew it

Louis and Lisa are a super cute couple and I know that they're not dating in real life but I think that they're very cute together

Oh everybody fucking

yeah they created the Apocalypse yeah

Oh no they have a child outside of worlds that's a mess How does that work so they had they gave birth to that ugly fuck

honestly I hate that he's their child for the most part just because he's ugly as fuck and neither of them are ugly as fuck so it makes me mad.

[a-wandering-ghoulette]

2019 top 10

2019’s reaching its end. Ghost has been my no.1 inspiration this year and I was able to improve so much thanks to it! I choose them as my “client” for my final project of graphic design studies and got a good grade, I made fanarts, and new amazing friends in the fandom!

Ghost’s fandom is insane and very supportive, I mostly met cool people and the few funkillers weren’t a big bother. Keep being rade!

I was able to see them for the first time in Nantes and it’s the best thing I was able to live this year -this decade?-.

Overall, 2019 has been chaotic and if I’m happy to end it, I can’t help but being anxious about 2020. I’ll have to work hard on my projects but also on myself. I’m motivated but also worried, I hope I’ll be strong enough.

Thanks for following and supporting me! I hope 2020 will be a great and amazing year for you all! ♥

P.S.: Stay tune for the 1st and probably only fanfic by me I’ll share here. I’m still translating it between 2 IRL responsabilities... Hope you’ll like it! ;u;

1). 441 notes - 09 April 2019

It means I did a good job with this translation?! It’s a great interview I’m happy I shared it with you.

2). 409 notes - 23 February 2019

You love animations, I love animations. This one is a piece of the video I made for my final project of graphic design... I’ll write more about it later on this post. (Feel free to go through the “# a ghoulette senior project” on my blog to see every steps!)

3). 360 notes - 23 September 2019

I love this sketchy drawing so much! each time I see it I’m like “did I really drew something like that??”

4). 340 notes - 01 February 2019

The video of this so called final project! I was so stressed out when I made it because of my teachers, their chaotic organisation and explanations and the very short amont of time to do it. I was ready to do a whole presentation of the band, then I’ve been told one scene was enough... In the end I’m still very happy with the result. I fought for it and got a good grade. (Feel free to go through the “# a ghoulette senior project” on my blog to see every steps!)

5). 281 notes - 14 February 2019

Oh wow, tbh it’s not a drawing I’m really proud of. But it made people happy, so I’m too. ♥

6). 236 notes - 16 April 2019

This must be my fav piece, I’m so proud of it like I’m rarely toward one of my work. Each time I look back at it, I'm all “wowwwww yeah that’s the spirit lolol pun intended lolol”

... TF?

7). 226 notes - 18 February 2019

Ok, this post got out of hands. XD I remember being in the middle of an insomnia, sketching on my phone my answers to people’s reactions to this. It was so fun! (people who missed it, check the post’s reblogs)

8). 197 notes - 02 June 2019

This is my biggest piece after the video. Even if now I see few flaws I may be the only one to spot, I like it a lot!

Really, Tobias. If you see this... ♥

9). 173 notes - 13 January 2019

My take on this doodle success is I made it during chapter 6 hype. That’s all. XD

10). 146 notes - 12 September 2019

I made and posted this one during my birthday and it’s a very sad’n’boring birthday. I would like to do a clean version of it one day. But I already started waaay too many things. But I also have a very cool sketch with a badass compo. Aaaah I want to draw it so much but I also need to make money! Life’s cruel... ;u;

[missguomeiyun]

Homecookings [July ed.]

I didn’t have many entries for the June edition of Homecookings post, nor much posts in June, in general. So I made it a goal to cook more this month!

Sadly, I don’t think I have accomplished my goal in terms of quantity, but I feel I’ve tried several new things this month so that makes up for the lack of quantity? *shrugs* I mean, the deck-basil fried chicken was a hit! So was the seafood jeongol! :P Nonetheless, here’s the rest of my July.. .

I LOVE putting the hashbrown in my sausage & egg McMuffin (plus the ketchup). I can’t believe I didn’t apply this idea to a burger before o_O part of the reason bcos I don’t eat burgers that often.. . but anyway, I put one of my homemade hashbrown patties (aka the potato pancake) in my burger. Wowwwww!!! Liked the extra texture so much!

Breakfast on a day-off~ kimchi fried rice + hashbrowns (bcos as you know, I’m trying to finish the old hashbrowns by incorporating it into diff things)

*read the box* =P

There are 9 pieces of mochi per box, & there are 4 flavours per BIG box. The other flavours include: green tea, mango, & vanilla. This milk tea one was my favourite just bcos it is not vanilla & green tea lol the mango was the 2nd best.

FYI: Lotte is a South Korean brand but the Korean “starter” actually opened up the business in Tokyo, Japan. Then after almost 2 decades (when it got somewhat big enough), he migrated back to Korea. Now, it’s a huge international conglomerate with multiple “lines”, & depending on where you are, there are different Lotte products in different places.

My mom made this but I thought I’d share on here bcos I don’t think I have ever shared this - it’s not a frequent dish. This is my mom’s version of the Vietnamese appetizer, “bot chien” (= fried rice flour cake). First, my mom steamed rice flour cake (mix rice flour with water with a bit of salt). Once cooled, cut into smaller pieces; the ones here are about 1-2cm by 1-2cm cubes. Then she stir-fried it with Chinese sausages, egg, green onion, & Chinese preserved radish. For flavouring, she added some abalone sauce (just a little bit! Bcos the sausage & preserved radish are quite salty already).

“Jjam-dong” :D Jjambbong is Korean spicy seafood noodles, which is one of my most fav noodle soups. Here, I used udon noodles, which some places in Korea actually use for jjambbong .. . aka: “jjam-dong”. [Koreans call it u-dong, as opposed to udon, like it has a ‘g’ at the end, so.. . jjam-dong!]

What is this pool of whiteness with black specks & like a patch yellow butter? lol this is a ‘sauce’ that I made using: milk, water, lime juice, coarse salt, coarse ground black pepper, & unsalted butter.

What did I use this for?

Used it for seafood, namely the leftover mussels & baby octopus from my seafood jeongol. This turned out so well!

Finally used another packet of the lychee powder - used it for its purpose: bubbletea. It was okay; I used half of 1 packet for 1 cup of milk bcos otherwise, it would be too sweet for me.

Other ‘current events’:

Work has progressed fast this month, where I actually finished my training a month before schedule so now I’m on my own. Not scared, but feelin’ the time crunch as I’m no longer with a trainer/buddy, who has been helping me do odd jobs for the past while. I miss it!!!! It is also very exciting, however, to work alone & be independent.

Downtown Edmonton traffic is a nightmare >.< long story short, the daily commute for me to/from work (via 2 different routes) have lengthened to almost 2.5 times the usual length of time. When put into perspective, it’s like driving in winter except I think it’s worse now. I don’t know anymore.. . but it’s annoying bcos there’s just so much going on in downtown with construction & NHL that the traffic situation is horrendous.

K-dramas. . . I’ve been on pause. I tried several dramas & couldn’t get into it =( Chip In looks intriguing though, so I’m gonna try that once it’s done airing!

Anyways, that’s all! I’ll ttyl~

[atinytokki]

Here’s my first impressions.

Warning! a loooong post, squealing, incoherent thoughts smashed together, and crying ahead. A lot of crying.

OH NO. They really started it like this. I’m shivering in bed rn. It’s haunting and beautiful and too short. Is that marching?? That’s marching, are they going to war now omg hold on—

[I didn’t include the audio for Wonderland because I hit the limit and ALSO you should go stream it on the KQ channel instead ;) hehe]

The transition into this was spectacular. The marching just became the beat wooooah! HONGJOONG AHJFKSL YES that’s how you start a song. Seonghwa and Yunho, beautiful. Wooyoung!! sounds amazing!! Seonghwa’s low voice o I was not prepared. San helloooo I love the instrumentation at this part. Jongho, as expected with the high note. Oh OH KAJA!! oooooohhhhh man the chorus goes hard I can’t wait to see the choreo. The production on this is spectacular. FiX oN MiNgiiiiii go off oml 🔥 YEOSANG 👏🏻 GET 👏🏻 THOSE 👏🏻 LINES 👏🏻 this is a head banging song I’m head banging rn. The way they bring it back right before the chorus *chef’s kiss* This is overwhelming man. Jongho with the bridge yussss he and San sound amazing. Wait they were right it is like Hala Hala they added both parts of the chorus together!! It’s almost over isn’t it. Yeah it’s over. Ok I need to breathe,,,

It’s starting kinda like a sad song this isn’t a sad song is it?? SANIIIIEEE! Aw this is cute I like it. Hongjoooooooong! I love this rap it reminds me of something. Ooh prechorus?? It’s so pretty oh No here’s the chorus— oh EDM?!!? OKAY!! Wait do I bop or cry 🙊omg Yeosang!!!! oh my baby you sound amazing. Harmonies 😭 harmonies omg there are harmonies... Mingi! He didn’t say fix on :(( short but slick rap as always. I’m still trying to figure out what they’re saying in this chorus I don’t wanna blast it too loud everyone else is asleep I think... hhhhhh!! Mingi and Hongjoong SINGING IN THE BRIDGE holy cow im gonna lose it they sound beautiful YES THANK U THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. Wowwwww high note 🙌There’s something really really nostalgic about this song,, I am undone. The harmonies omg I can’t take this it’s like they know how much I love harmonies, unfair.

OMG— throwback???????? This sounds so 80s YEEEESSSS ! San!! New beginning fairy?? He sounds heavenly I can’t. Mingi, he’s singing again I can’t stop smiling this is my new fave thing. This prechorus, idk what to say it’s amazing. WOOYOUNG JUNG WOOYOUNG NO NO NO NO HES SINGING THE CHORUS AFHSJLSLE Jongho ur vocals are sweet honey please have mercy it’s only like the 4th song and I’m crying already. Hongjoong my boy, this style of rap holy cow. Did someone tell him this is my fave style of rap, because— oh, he’s still going?? Ah this is going on repeat the rest of today 🥰 Yeosang I couldn’t be happier you sound gorgeous and Yunho woah their voices match well. WOOYOUNG AGAIN!! This part was made for him it has to be. JONGHO! SO PLEASE!! This bridge I’m just a mess of tears now they are really singing their hearts out. Is it too early to have a favourite?

Ugh all these songs are ending so abruptly I’m never ready for the next one. Oh I’ve heard his.. aHA AHAAAAA I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT this is from the teasers. I had the teasers on repeat this bgm alone is. so. cool. Yes the Mingi rap aaaaaaaaahdhsjkdflsl but we can hear it this time lol. woah it’s not over yet. The beginning of Treasure! Hongjoong singing the beginning of Treasure again but different lyrics?? I need to look them up later oh what if it’s like they found their treasure,, no I can’t take it where are the tissues the ending is so sad whyyyyuyyy

Yay there is already a fun flavour in this song! Hongjoong your voice is so rich in the low register daaaaang I need more of this. Seonghwa is that you? I feel like I haven’t heard his voice since Wonderland I’m sorry seonghwa my bff I’m getting whiplash trying to hear everyone’s parts but you killed it. These lyrics!! This is a hype song fs. THE BEAT DROP AAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAH!! “Ayyy we are gonna win” YES YOU ARE BOYS! Oh shoot I said that out loud I hope no one heard. Okay yes this is my new hype song no one is allowed to be discouraged listening to this. Oop “aha” Hongjoong hakdlaplajql I squealed again. Aw the rap verses were short but still slayed. This song is so fast I can’t keep up but I love it I am feeling this. The low voices and then the beat drop I can’t FUNCTION THIS IS SPECTACULAR !!!!! You are gonna wiiiiiin. This reminds me of Pirate King the altered voice and then adding a harmony the second time, anyone feel me? Mingi singing in the bridge again yes I love this. Ooo EDM break aaaahhah go crazy go stupidddd! I want a choreo for this, I need a choreo for this. Woah the instrumental is very unusual here. And it ended like that with the piano, deconstructing the elements of the song. Oh I need a second listen for musical reasons but we gotta move on.

This album is moving way too quickly we’re halfway done ripppp. I love the instrumental here it’s super slick. I’m already enjoying this very much. Oh high notes San!! Vocal line has popped off, exceeds expectations 100% Aww hi Mingi. Ah thank God the chorus is sweet and full of riffs wowowow this is a sharp contrast from last song. YEOSANG!!! My heart jumps every time I hear him, you don’t know how hard I prayed for him to have more lines. Hongjoong! What are these voices in the background?. Adorable, this is adorable aaaaahaha!! Oh it’s “we are one, we stay one” that they spoiled in ANEWZ I seeeee. This chorus ugh this whole song I love I just have the biggest smile on my face while also sobbing yall don’t understand. The bridge ahh idek what to say I’m so happy with this. You boys make me so proud I hope you know that 😭 !! The voices are back! This is literally so cute hELP

Here comes THANK U I’m not ready ok deep breaths. Whaaaa? I’ve never been more caught off guard in my life that guitar... Yeehaw? Is this a yeehaw song what-? Hongjoong’s singing wait I have to go back I missed it. His voice I— digging my grave. Wait why does this sound lowkey country ohhh dear say sike ah no alright the CHORUS mmm I knew it would be a feel good song. That echoing thing after the chorus is cool. Mingiiii! Did he not say fix on again?? This rap is too cute noooooo oml why Mingi why my jaw is on the floor I can’t believe he’s capable of this.. Ok I like it I’ve decided I like this. I was surprised at first bc I’m not a country fan and it sounded like it was about to be a country song 😂 but this is a bop!! “Gomawo” 😭 no gomawo yourself. Thank you for being on my side 🥺 It’s a hands clapping song. Yes Jongho go off!!! Oh I just gasped the biggest gasp the ending riff was beautiful

Sunrise. Okay deep breaths. I’m gonna just listen and try to not think about the fact Hongjoong cried writing this song. Let’s go. .... oh. OH. Oh it’s soft. I’m soft 🥺 ahhh man they sound so good. This— the background music... it’s doing me in. Aww Mingi. Ahh no this sounds sad whyyy I’m afraid to see the lyrics dangit. (0:41) I just dropped my phone. K that scared me but the lyrics just shot me in the heart. !!!!! I gasped again and now I’m coughing hang on I gotta pause. Just keep it up... boys you outdid yourselves. This GUITAR HOLY CHEESE AND CRACKERS ITS AMAZING. *stomp stomp clap* Hongjoong hiiiii wow this rap right here, I only caught half the lyrics but I know exactly what he is saying ah man. We’ve added instruments in the back. Oh Jongho that was such a clear note the vowel was perfect there. This chorus I can’t. Yeah ok I’m crying again something about the guitar I . Cant type. Oh man. Oh OH OH the bridge the BRIDGE THE BRIDGE everything the vocals the background music. Okay here’s our real stomp stomp clap moment. Ah ok wiping the tears now. They sound great. Hongjoong aaaahh what a way to end the song.

That was an experience I hope I get to breathe during this but I already know I won’t. Um.. it’s piano... for like a solid 20 seconds and it’s slightly jazzy are we getting a ballad?? Our first real ballad!! Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! Seonghwa yessss 🥰 Oh you guys I’ve wanted to hear a ballad from him for so long you don’t even know. Wait everyone sounds so perfect I can’t even describe this. Yunho baby yesss your voice. Wooyoung oml SAN ahhh San your transitions are stunning. Jongho our ballad king it’s like he’s barely even trying and it sounds amazing. Lovely lovely lovely. Mingiiiii he’s singing yet again. Hongjoong too!! Yes oh yes this is it. Their voices all being showcased so perfectly. I’m amazed how well they can all fit this style just as well as they can fit a song like Win. I have one criticism only so far and yall already know what it is. Yeosang still could’ve gotten more lines in this one :_( This is the last song before Beginning of the End oh no. Nooooo I don’t want it to be over. Oh? OH? Yeosang! Yeosangggggg!! Omg I have goosebumps he said NO IM TAKING OVER it’s MY SONG NOW! Wow amazing. The structure of this has been so so interesting I’m definitely going back to analyse. No it’s over...

I’m scared. I’m crying again noo it hasn’t even started jeez pull yourself together. Ok but before I start I really don’t want it to be over and not in a way that implies I want more songs just thinking about how... this is Ep Fin right? The end. Obviously not of ATEEZ (God forbid) it’s only been a year and they’re slaying it I mean absolutely knocking it out of the park each Ep bigger and bolder than the last, they aren’t afraid to try things and when they do they hit the nail on the head. But still this is the end of an era, a storyline too if I’m correct. And it’s just a surreal experience to see it come to a close. ATEEZ, I don’t know where you’re taking us next but I trust you guys and I know it’s going to be amazing.

Ok anyway let’s start the song 🤣 crackling noise? Fire? Ok it’s orchestral. VERY orchestral. “Open your eyes” I felt that San. They were open but I just opened them again. This orchestra is really really moving and cinematic I love it. I see what this is, we’re going Intro: Long Journey except Outro version which is fuller, richer, even more epic and emotional. Oh boy I’m really crying now. Idek what to say again I’m speechless. Oh it swells just like Intro!! Is it the end? Woah???????? What is this? .....SAN?? Wait wait wait it’s over? Like that? No hang on. Waaaait what was that? Seriously that was very strange. I’m not imagining things am I? No does this have something to do with upcoming albums? I’m so confused 😭 it sounded rly cool and spooky whatever it was. Well. Okay! Yeah I guess that’s it. That was the last straw. I should really try to go back to sleep I only have a few hours till I have to get up. But now I’m probably going to go write something, that music was really inspiring. Yeah I think I said what I wanted to honestly! Again I just want to reiterate how proud I am, and remind you to go stream!!!!

KAJAAAAA!

[musingsofaperpetualdaydreamer]

My real first thoughts listening to each song ✨

My sister has reluctantly agreed to have this first listening ‘party’ with me and I just wanted this for the ‘memories’ because I’m an overly sentimental fool like that haha. These may not be coherent but hey ho.

I forgot that you exsisted:

Oooooooh. I like it. Tropical Taylor is that YOu? Shoopooooook. Heeelllp. Oh my god. I’m screaming. Lord my life... INDIFERENCE shut UP Hahahaha. An anthem a bop. A Savage incineration bubble gum destroyer. Her laugh. Stop it.

Cruel summer:

Ooooh the beat. It’s so groovy and slick. I am a wave being carried away to distant land. Flatline. I am dead. God has collected me from this earth. I am gone. I am no more. Taylor has ended my exsistencez byyeereee. The bridge has flooded my atoms. I am gooone eeeeee

Lover:

I am fluffy and warm. My pieces lovingly put back together. I am whole again. I am HOME.

The man:

Shut the flip up. Shut the frick up. Shut up shut up. SPILL THE TEA HONEY PIEEEeEeEeE. The patriarchy is burning. She’s name dropping? Speak now taylor is alive, fearless Taylor, picture to burn, it’s all fire, I’m on fire. TRUTh TEAAAaAA is SCALDING. My scaaaalllllp, my hair is all gone. I am evaporated.

The archer:

Dreamy sad melancholic magic. Shoot me in my soul. Oh wow. My heart.

I think he knows:

Click click, bury me 6 feet under. This is sensual and HOT. MISS TAYLORRRrR. Yessssss, get your MAN. Oooooooooooooh. I am screammmmminnnnn. Damn sis he better know. Woweeeeee.

Miss Americana and the heartbreak prince:

Ooooh it’s dark. Dreamy Taylor has pulled me into wisps of myself and I am floating through the late night magic universe. It’s Lana esque, I am...Taylor Swift you have my whole heart and soul.

Paper rings:

Hohohohoho sassy Taylor has got me by the neck. I can’t breathe, the heat. This all I dreamed of. Ooooooh. DIRTY DReAMS, oooooooooh yessss honey. Her voice. The colour you painted WHAT....LORD ALiVE. *Head bashes self to oblivion. when we wnet from friends to oh wowww

Cornelia street:

I have dislocated my jaw, it is on the floor. Resuscitate me to this BEAT. 4.47. Yesss F ME UP to this. It reminds me of LANY in a way. Ohhhh what a dreamy beautiful death. *clutches heart and falls on the floor. Her voice so soft like this...I’m crying and boping.

Death by a thousand cuts:

I am being sung by angels. Is this heaven? Read me my last rites as you lower me into my grave. Oooh what is that under the beat? Awwwww. No. If the story’s over why am I still writing pages??? UGH HER MIND. The BRIDGE, the bridge...goood LORD. My heart is broken. Tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch? I’m drowning in tears.

London Boy:

A Londoner. ShE Said Welcome to England honey. Shut up she said Joe is her home? She goes round London with joe? I AM FRiCKIN CANcElled. Over. FINITO. He’s made her a fricking LONDONER. His friends are her friends. Shut uppppppppp. I am bawling like a newly born baby. Loooooooorrrrrrrd. My heart is so fricking warm and fluffy. God bless you Joseph alwyn.

Soon you’ll get better:

Noooooooooooo. Oh my god. I’m so sorry. God I just want want to hold you and hug you and tell you it will all be okay and make it so. Taylor, oh god. Who am I supposed to talk to if there’s no you? I’m broken for you. You’re so strong, being able to be this vulnerable proves it.

False God:

Jazzzzzzz. I’m in a late night bar in soho. I am dead but I am so alive. It’s moody, bluesy, ooooh I love it. The beat, ohhhh it’s slick and dreamy and sensual. Lu huh huh huh ve. Ohhhhh I love that part. My god I love this. Uhhmmmmmmm. It’s so groovy. THE METAPHORS. Her voice. Is that her heart as a beat? I’m in love with this song.

You need to calm down:

SHOUT THiS FROM ThE ROOfTOPs. Bop for the ages. JE SUIS NOt CALMe.

Afterglow:

Darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream That you? Oh it’s beautiful. Fight for that true love. Yes yes yes. Oh yes. Ultraviolet morning light yes it is worth the fight. It’s vulnerable majestic oh myyyy. I am in blanket burrito, ohhhhhhhhhhh. This song is everything. Fight for your love girl.

ME!:

A bop bop boppetty bop. Me he heeeereeee. Hahahahaha. Wooooooooooo.*crazy dances

It’s nice to have a friend:

Ooooh it’s...spooky? Jamaica? Steel drums. Tropical Halloween??????? Ohhh. Trumpets. I am in a fairytale. Ohhh the imagery. Feels like home, stay in bed the whole weekend? My heart is beammmming. I am in blanket song burrito of love. Oooooooooohhhhh. The echo

Daylight:

The metaphors. She’s a genius. Her voice. Oh the beat. Honey the beat. Been sleeping in a 20 year dark night now I see daylight? She was sleeping until she met joe? He makes her feel alive, like she’s really living? Oh my god, I just- *JAW HITS ThE FLOOR AND SHATTeRRS. These lyrics are sharper than a knife. Daylight!!! Real love is like daylight!! Ohhhhhhhhhh. She’s in Love real love love. She found her golden love love. YEEEESSSSSSsSSSSS. She found her golden love the one she used to dream about she found it. HOLD MEEEEEEEEEEE. *slow dances with myself. This is so angelic and everything. Step into the daylight and let it go. OhhhMy soul has peacefully drifted away into a land of light and love and pink fluffy clouds. The little voice note. I have ascended. I am inside the album artwork. I am home.

Final thoughts:

wow that was so many emotions and so cathartic. I don’t know what to do with myself right now. I just-wow. @taylorswift you are a genius. I love you. I just...wow. I feel like I’ve actually come out of my body this is so unreal. Wowwwww. Immma need a minutes.

Suffice to say this is 6 stars out of 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow.

[cryingxdiamonds-blog]

There’s no way. David x Reader part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Wanting what you can’t have.

I apologise for the tense change but this allows it to be more personal from the readers perspective. Thank you for your lovely messages so far :)

You couldn’t sleep after David left, tossing and turning all night, thoughts raced through your mind.

It had been Natalie knocking on the door, trying to find David to tell him about an early morning meeting he had. She said, that when he wouldn’t answer his phone, she had just assumed where he was, causing you and David to blush. He left shortly after she arrived, you both awkwardly hugged, neither of you quite knowing what to say. 6 hours later, you still didn’t know what to say... or think… or do.

You knew David was busy until about 2pm which gave you roughly about 5 hours to figure out your shit, potentially 9 if he didn’t call you and waited till he saw you tonight. It was Corinna’s birthday and the whole squad was going out.

‘Fuck’ you muttered, the realisation hitting you that the longest amount of time you would be able to avoid David was 9 hours. Rolling your eyes at the ceiling, you flung back your duvet and jumped in the shower.

You returned to two missed calls from Liza and a text reading ‘Y/n! answer your phone, I need outfit advice from the Queen, I don’t feel like looking like a boy tonight.’

‘I wonder why’ you thought, the guilt really hitting home.

Your phone buzzed again as another call came through, it was Natalie. You accepted the call, but before you could even say hello, her voice bursts into your ear.

‘Hey y/n, look, you don’t have to admit or say anything or tell me why David was at your house last night.. not that there has to be a reason, I mean he’s there all the time, I just, well he’s like super happy so if there’s like a reason for that and you know why then, I’m all ears…’

You could basically feel her grinning down the phone. You pinched the bridge of your nose and squeezed your eyes shut.

‘Natalie… Have you ever wanted something that you can’t have?’

‘What do you mean? Like wanting peanut butter when you’re allergic to peanuts?’

You chuckled ‘Yeah, I guess that’s what I mean, but instead of you hurting yourself by eating the peanuts, someone who’s allergic is sitting next to you.’

‘I’m not sure I’m following y/n’

‘Just… Would you eat the peanuts?’

‘Errmm, well, I guess I couldn’t? I wouldn’t want someone else getting really hurt for some peanuts, even if they were like amazing. There’s always like cashew nuts or walnuts!’ She laughed down the phone.

‘Yeah, there are plenty of other nuts’ you replied softly.

‘Hey, y/n, you okay?’

‘Yeah, yeah I’m fine, I’ll see you tonight okay Nat, don’t look too hot.’

‘Oh stop it you tease’, she replied.

You sat on the bed after hanging up the phone and remembered something your dad told you when you were little. ‘Every judgement of conscience, be it right or wrong, be it about things evil in themselves or morally indifferent, is obligatory, in such wise that he who acts against his conscience… always sins.’

‘Who knew that that would ever be relevant’ you muttered to yourself.

It was 6 pm and you were in an uber on the way to David’s house. From reading the group chat, you knew that mostly everyone had arrived, except yourself, Zane, Matt, Carly and Erin.

Your arm clutched onto Corinna’s present as you got out of the car and walked up to the door.  You could feel the anxiety coursing through your veins, the only messages you and David had exchanged all day was him asking when you were getting here and you replying a little after 6. It didn’t help the fact that Liza had been at David’s since 5 and you didn’t have a clue how you could tell her what you had done. The thought had consumed you for the entire day, do you tell her and apologise profusely or do you get David to promise to keep it between you and she never has to know. But of course the issue with that would be what reason would you need to keep it a secret. You couldn’t expose Liza and tell David that she was still in love with him? And you also didn’t believe that after the way you kissed him last night, he’d believe that you didn’t want him.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Corinna opening the door with a big grin on her face. Relieved that David hadn’t answered the door, you welcomed her big embrace and let her guide you into the living room. You were met with lots of ‘y/n’s!!!!’ and questions about what on earth you were holding under your arm.

‘Open it!’ you extended the two wrapped presents towards Corinna, one was a small wrapped box and the other was a very large, unusual shape that looked as if it had been wrapped by a child. ‘I had a struggle with that one’ you said, pointing to the largest gift and laughing. ‘Open that one first!’ Zane called out, obviously intrigued.

You both sat on the sofa and laughed hysterically as Corinna opened the largest present, revealing a boyfriend body pillow. ‘Wowwwww, thank you so much y/n’ Corinna laughed. Your head turned as David squatted in front of you and Corinna with his camera in his hand.

‘Y/n, you know its sex dolls that you have sex with right? Not boyfriend pillows. This is no use to Corinna’, he laughed his infamous vlog laugh as Corinna rolled her eyes. Your eyes lingered on David’s as he smiled at you behind his camera. He was wearing a black sweatshirt and black jeans. He looked good. He looked so good. He turned off his camera and stood up, David was always quite a bit taller than you but with you sitting on the sofa, he towered over you. Hesitantly, with a goofy smile on his face, he extended his arm out to you, signalling you to stand up. As you did, he purposefully pulled you towards him so that you stood directly in front of him, your faces inches apart. You wanted so desperately to tangle your fingers into his hair again; your eyes involuntarily moving down towards his lips. He still had hold of your hand as you felt someone’s eyes on the two of you.

Knowing it was Liza, you quickly excused yourself and headed for the bathroom

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You could only avoid him for so long….There was a small group of you standing in the living room, Josh and Todd were talking to you and David about baby names for Josh’s kid, as well as placing bets on whether or not it would be a boy or a girl.

You could feel David standing close to you, your arms touching; he was radiating heat and you could smell his familiar sweet scent. It took everything in you not to bury your head in the crook of his neck and inhale deeply.

‘Hey’ he gently nudged his elbow into you as Todd and Josh became distracted by Heath giving Scott a lap dance. ‘Hey’, you smiled up at him. He ran his hand through his hair as he turned to face you more directly. ‘You look beautiful’ he said softly, is big brown eyes staring into yours.

‘Oh my gooodddd, are you kiddng me?? How am I supposed to resist this’ you thought as you let out a shaky breath.

‘You’re cute, Dobrik’, you smirked at him as you sat down at the counter and swivelled the chair round so you were still facing him. He took a step towards you and slowly lifted his hand up to your waist, now looking down at you.

‘Natalie kept asking me today why I had this grin plastered all over my face’, his eyes flickered to the side to see if anyone could see the two of you. ‘I didn’t quite know how to tell her that I finally grew a pair and kissed my best friend and it was incredible.’

‘Hey y/n, David!’ Heath called from the sofa. Our faces both turned to face him. ‘It’s 9 dude, are you driving or drinking’ Heath asked David, to which David jangled his keys in his pocket as a response.

Taking you hand, David helped you off the chair and led you to the front door. ‘I call shot gun!’ Todd called. ‘Y/n’s in the front’ David replied as you both climbed into the car.

You were thankful when the car rolled up to the front of the club. You had tried your best the whole journey to keep your eyes straight ahead despite the temptation to steal glances at David. You could feel Liza’s eyes on the back of your head the entire way there.

You headed inside and decided that you needed alcohol, a lot of it. About 4 drinks and 5 shots in you could really start to feel the buzz in your head but unfortunately, instead of making you want to dance and have fun, you could only feel the ache in your heart more and more.

Every time you felt David’s hand on your back or when he spun you around on the dance floor. Every time he whispered into your ear when no one was looking or casually stood closer to you when he could see a boy lurking in the distance. He was so sweet, so perfect. You felt a tear slip down your cheek as you realised this was only a taste of what you had always wanted between you and David, so close but you couldn’t have it.

Quickly walking to the bathroom, you could sense Natalie hot on your heels. Catching up with you, she put a hand on your shoulder and spun you around.

‘Y/n, what’s wrong??’ concern all over her face.

You took her outside and led her out to the smoking area. You had to tell her, it was eating you up inside and you knew, that despite Natalie hating the idea of you two not being together, she would understand why you were doing this.

As you got outside, she used her thumb to wipe away the stray tear on your cheek. ‘Y/n, I’ve never seen you so upset before’ she said, now holding both of your hands.

‘I’m in love with him Natalie’ you sighed, looking towards the ground.

‘David?’ she asked, just making sure you were talking about the same person.

‘Yes, David’ you replied, ‘I’m in love with David and I can’t have him.’

 ‘What?’

You and Natalie both looked up to see David standing behind you both.

‘You’re in love with me?’

[chimfires]

pizza // jjk

genre: idk.. I just missed writing

pairing: Jungkook x reader

word count: 678

* requested //   Hi!! Can you do one when both Jk and his s/o are idols and went public but then JK cheats on her and they can’t break up because of their Agencies? Like what will JK do to win her over again, angst or whatever you feel like please, I really love you work ❤️

1..... 2....3..... 1.....2.....3... you silently breathed to yourself. 1...2...3... smile. CLICK from the camera. Jungkook’s posture mirroring yours. Natural. Happy. You smiled up at him, cameras clicking away. Capturing the seemingly happy moment, unknowingly capturing a couple who was silently going through turmoils on the inside. Everyone’s choice couple, brave enough to come to the public and share the love they had for each other with everyone. Jungkook released his grip from your waist, bending down to help carry the train of your dress into the venue, releasing it. His hand trailed back to your waist, causing you to pull away from his touch. His doe eyes that once held the galaxies to you were now pooled with tears, threatening to pour over. You reached up, gently brushing away the tears ad giving him a curt nod. He mirrored your reaction, gaze focusing forward. You followed it, eyes falling upon her. 

She was beautiful, a new lead singer for the newest SM girl group. Hair cut into a sharp bob, framing her high cheekbones. Her almond shaped eyes were dusted with a glittery sheen that twinkled when it caught the light correctly.. Her gown, fit her fit frame, cascading down past her waist mimicking the look of a waterfall. She was stunning. There was no question why he would’ve did something with her.  

“Don’t worry.. our agencies will like the publicity for a break up.. then you ca be with her” you whispered, quickly moving away from him and joining your girl group. He stood there, while the member of BTS surrounded him, a blank expression painted on his face. 

__________

Tugging on your sock’s, you couldn’t help the pool of tears building up in your eyes. All you asked was for a night together. One. For him not to go to that party because you missed him. But he was stubborn. The guys were going, so automatically he was too. That’s how the argument started... and that led him to drinking.. which is what led him to kissing her. You silently scolded yourself. This wasn’t your fault. You were an amazing girlfriend.. a best friend.. he was the one who ruined it. Wiping your tears with your sleeve, you silently sobbed, placing your face in your palms. 

you loved him.

Despite the pain that you felt that slowly spread through your entire body, the love you felt for him was beyond anything you’ve eve felt. 

how could he? How could he ruin something so perfect..

A knock on your door snapped you out of your thoughts. Sniffling, you waked towards the door, cash in hand. Pizza and movies was going to be your therapy tonight. 

“How much do i owe you-” you started, jaw dropping at the sight before you. Jungkook scratched his neck, eyes bloodshot. 

“What do you want Jungkook?” you whispered. He sighed at the sound of his name. He was your Guk... Never jungkook. 

“I came to apologize.. again-” he choked. 

“How many times are you going to say sorry.” you asked. 

“Until you know I mean it.. I messed up.. I know I did.. and I can’t bear the thought knowing that I hurt you.. knowing that those tears that stained your cheeks were caused by me.. I love you.. y/n.. okay? More than anything... more than my life.. you’re my muse.. my inspiration.. my best friend.. I can’t do this without you.. I won’t let myself.. please.. please let me fix this” he choked. You took a shaky breath, stepping aside and letting him in. He immediately pulled you close, burring his face into your shoulder. You hair fell over his face and he took a deep breath, tears falling onto your shirt. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him close, fingers  twirling the hair from the nape of his neck. He pulled back, softly kissing your cheek, and brushing away your tears. 

“I’m sorry.. again.. and I love you” he whispered. You nodded, nuzzling your face into his palm. 

“Um.. Miss... your food is 17.98″ the delivery man said. 

______________________________

WOWWWWW I’M SO SORRY I’VE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE AND MY RELATIONSHIP?????? I MISSED YOU GUYS. REMEMBER REQUESTS ARE OPEN. Message us a number+ member from a group!!

masterlist

~Lia 

[blizzardfluffykpop]

writing blog recommendations?💓

I have lots in my head, but like I’ll just write whoever comes to my head

@choco-seventeen I’mma just spill my love for them, omg wow. I’ve been in love with their writing for a very long time, wow. Like they have this fan-fiction called Dream Catcher for Joshua I wish I could forget it continuously to read it over and over again, it’s series that’s finished and wow man... Like I love all these it’s a mixture and I love that :) This is one of the many stories you need to read. She’s made me cry and that’s a good thing but yeah. 
@pinktokens   cdhshuovsdaohhouohuvdsaho sorry that was emotions for her series and it just came out... I read Hidden Rooms like when I first read it DK’s part wasn’t out yet but man... Like the ending was fantastic wow, I still have yet to read an au quite like it so go read that you won’t regret I promise on my life.


@not-all-that-chic so I’m still reading their works, once Land of Wonder is finished I was going to compliment them but here we are :) I really love your writing! Anyway, they are mostly a smut writer but y’know man I am in love land of wonder I can’t wait for Dormouse part to come out (my ult bias y’know). 


@kpop-wonder212 I don’t know how many times they have made me cry, but it’s enough, try My Daughter it’s still not finished but wow if that story hasn’t made me cry I don’t know what has. Truly a phenomenal writer, thanks for making me cry. She writes as much angst as I need for my teenage soul. 

(Most of these writers will have made me cry because I’m the biggest crybaby I know; but I’m good with that)

@ripperoonii Okay so Cady is absolutely amazing writer I think you should check out her Like Cashmere and Velvet it’s Jeonghan and wow I loved that story to pieces, this one didn’t make me cry if I’m correct but I still loved it. (also if you need a fic recs like she has a blog for it :) @sippin-on-lemonade ) 


@astarlightmonbebe As far as I’m sure she stopped requests wanting to pursue her own writing that’s my Leah!!! :) But she is much more of a member x member writer rather than an x reader writer (which is mostly what I read and what I write) But if I ever got time I’d read it, but she wrote me a birthday scenario with Mark X Reader and wow talent let me tell you. 


@got7imaginations All of your got7 needs are right here! (I realized how many works I need to read today oof) But anyways the fan-fiction I read from them is Shy Like Me I’d personally recommend but like it’s up to you.

@tokyoseo Wow I’m pretty sure this is one of my last series that I read in a night or over the course of two (I usually can’t sleep until I finish a fanfic).
 I personally would recommend the series Paradise it’s complete and wow the whole story was wahhh omg. I have no words. 


@floraltenwritings So I’m pretty positive I’ve read everything on her poly scenarios personally check that whole masterlist out, if that’s something you’d be interested in, I loved it personally. 


@strawberryjmilk Wow another amazing writer where I didn’t read all their works told myself I’d get to it but I didn’t, but the work I did read was When the Ticking Stops and wow I loved that so much, 10/10 would read again. 


@changbeanie okay really need to start reading more but I’ve read alot of  tattoo artists aus and it’s one of my many favorites but like you need to check out Stawrberries it’s Minho fanfic wow omg I actually think getting a strawberry tattoo would be neat, but like I fell like I wouldn’t get it colored it, it was just be on ribs-but anyways-back to the main point of this really check them out okay?


@lordofassgard Have you ever met a writer you just want to hit but that’s rude so you won’t, well this is one. If you want to end up bawling your eyes out well this is the writer for you. I’m sorry actually I really love her Play Pretend and I’m actually so excited for part 3 like I just can’t wait to see what happens next. Like she makes me feel all of my emotions in stories I just wow ( I really love tattoo artist aus tbh if you can’t tell) 


@yeolology Okay this is a wow factor but like I Like Stars is one of the works I just loved reading and like all of the other fanfictions on here I wish I could catch amnesia to read this one and the others again.


@detaective Well let me mention I need to read more yet again, but I did read Soulmate!Felix and what an amazing au it was so cute wow! I’ll probably be reading their soulmate aus some more later y’know. 


@yehet-me-up okay one of my favorite series is Exodus Mall AU and I’ve seen one like it but I can’t remember who wrote it, but wowwwww I don’t even truly stan EXO (I have so many to juggle and I’m about to topple over) but man did this series make me want to stan to death tbh. 


@kpopfanfictrash Their requests are closed right now oof, but anyways I read Romanticizing the Tome is an amazing fic honestly. and I didn’t even know they wrote about GOT7 till today, (I have lot of things to read tonight) because I’ve always read their BTS stuff but like def a writer to check out tbh 


@byunmania I never got around to it because when I started reading Ador it wasn’t finshed yet but I loved it so much and man I loved the way the writing was, like I’m speechless tbh.

@kissingkpop okay so I find their blog so cool because they are one of the firsts that have tumblr (at least as far as I know) videos like fanfiction videos there are moodboards and fanfic from what I’m sure of, but I just find the video aspect so cool tbh

@miss-noo-na I think I’m just going to recommend everything they write it is quality like brand new converse (sorry first thing that came into my head) one thing got to do is request when the requests are open of course, because wow. They write a lot more smut then fluff but like either way whatever they write is so good tbh. (Although I’ll recommend Mark’s Frostbite)

@seventeen-teen-teen-trash I spent a lot of time reading all of the college aus from them and it was 10/10 it really got a lot of plot for most of it being written in texts messages! 


Talent is all I stan, and it’s not only kpop idols but the fanfic writers, top-notch quality I love them all, and I probably missed quite a few. I’ll probably be screaming later be like why didn’t you include this writer!!! But I’m satisfied with it now.

(I tried my best to write this, I tried to get this done over the course of 3 days. Because I wanted all the descriptions to be to my taste. But literally they aren’t I could probs tell you more about each author but like my mind is drawing constant blanks at this moment. But seriously there is a thing for everyone I think? But I hope you like these writers!!)

[mymomreadmyblog]

I AM THIRTY FUCKING TWO.

Wowwwww. I reread a lot of my miserable banter, because, duh, I’m drunk. I still feel the words I wrote (the sad ones) because I know I was in such a brutal headspace then. I’m honestly doing so much better now, not like “living my best life” but definitely better. I quit the corporate world, let’s face it, I was drunk 24/7, I can’t believe I wasn’t fired sooner. I went back to being a bartender and honestly, I may have gotten my fill. Benders until 12pm the next day are so much less appealing to me now. I work until 4am, and want to die sometimes. I found a wonderful human being that loves me for my faults and my gifts, and, my god, does my family love her. How lucky am I? I feel like a loser staying up drinking alone because she’s asleep and it’s 11:30pm, but in my defense... I work tomorrow night form 9pm- 4am, soooo, I try to stay awake. Alcohol just so happens to be involved. I genuinely want to go back to school for copywriting. I feel like maybe I have some kind of voice that needs to be shared, right? Since I was a kid I wanted to be Angie Martinez “voice of New York,” an MTV VJ, damn, I wanted to be Yolanda Vega, just so people recognized a strong LATINA, AMIRIGHT? Genuinely wanted to do as little as possible, but still be me. So, I’m applying to a copywriting program. I need to excel at something. I’ve always been this person that says, “I’m literally mediocre at best at everything.” How fucked up is that? So here I go.

Aside from that... I actually blocked the one. I had to. There were some small encounters, and I really think about, what if I run into her, genuinely out of nowhere, but nothing. There was such a connection on such a level I never knew I could match. But my new person, has her own level. It’s full of respect, and love, and depth, and care, and maybe it’s not about knowing exactly what I’m thinking, and maybe it’s not about knowing my next move or what makes me tick, because honestly that’s what controlled me. She read me, and I was predictable to her, so she could be everything I wanted and everything hated because she knew before I did. This one. This one just wants to love me, and make me smile, and make me happy, and there’s no mind games, it’s just love. That’s what you’re supposed to want at 32 right? That’s what I fucking deserve, isn’t it?

...but how fucking sick is it that sometimes I can’t help but miss the absolute total catostrophic mindfuck?

[the-bells-bells-bells]

Today’s been... fairly eventful emotionally. Got a coworker who’s being a bitch (i wrote her a thank you note for doing some dishes I hadn’t gotten to earlier this week that i was gonna clean the next day, she replied with “next time don’t leave them” like wowwwww wth) and continues to try to act like she’s higher and mightier than me via trying to chew me out over shit she notices, whether it’s my fault or not, despite the fact that i’ve been doing this job quite a bit longer than her thank you very much bitch. Am debating about calling out tomorrow just so I don’t have to deal with her or the coworker who doesn’t do anything besides the simplest of shit (aka the flakey one who didn’t do the cleaning she was supposed to do, nor cleans anything else or does anything else we ask of her besides like feeding the fish) because i was already feeling really off today and i don’t want to deal with that and bitchy mcbitcherson tomorrow together. Rather deal with the guilt of calling out and leaving us without anyone between 2:30 and 5... like they’ve been doing already tuesday through thursday...

On the other end of things, had a pretty nice chat with brother R. he passed his first med school midterm (with a 85% or so, nice!) and is struggling with procrastinating his studying. We are definitely siblings, I can tell. Also ended up talking about our father and... he actually said that our dad’s a jerk. Both brothers (to varying extents) have tried to do the ‘it wasn’t that bad/he means well/he loves us/etc’ shit before in response to whenever i’ve talked bad about our father, but this time he only did a ‘he does care about us’ before going into the fact that he has issues with his emotions... and therefore actually acting nice to us instead of like an insensitive prick. R also admitted the fact that he had been doing the whole ‘he wasn’t that bad’ shtick to try to change my behavior... and had failed. Considering this is the brother who knows I’m not a gal (still hasn’t changed his use of pronouns or name/nickname, but oh well, baby fucking steps) and also the brother who has, in the past, gotten mad at me for not ‘being honest’ with him (before the gender reveal thing), I’m assuming this is because I’ve been trying to be a lot more open with him about me and what I’ve been doing instead of defensive hiding anything that might be seen as ‘bad’ or ‘lazy’ and he’s reciprocating. This is a pretty large improvement to that relationship, tbh. 

Also super nice to know that I’m not the only sibling really pissy at our father (apparently he’s been kinda taking things out on R b/c he’s been around him the most recently and has also been talking to him the most--R noted that part of that is due to me not talking to our father unless necessary). I’ve apparently been... not very observant in how my dad’s treated my brothers as a kid, probably because my observational skills especially regarding emotional states of others is shit and was even worse when i was growing up. Regardless, I missed how aggressive and mad he’d get at my brothers after bad sports games, him getting up on their case in regards to outdoors chores, etc. 

R wants me to at least be a bit less stand offish towards our father, citing both that he has worse health habits than I do and is regardless closer to death via natural causes than I’d be and that I may not want to have “any regrets”. He seems to not understand just how much of a damn I’ve stopped giving re:possibility of father dying soon, because... well, the sooner he’s gone the sooner I can be more open with my mom and the sooner I can spend any amount of time near Washington state without feeling like I’m not really safe from his goddamn ‘discussions’ and ‘lessons’ and shit. I might be willing to just to keep him off R’s back, but it doesn’t sound like that’s so much the case at the moment (and he didn’t ask for me to do that). But yeah. Good discussion with brother.