#like if there was dogma about ''Outsiders Bad'' for example yeah

[butwhatifidothis]

THANK YOU for that post regarding Leicester waging war on the Central Church, actually, because I thought something just wasn't clicking for me as I was playing the route. It's like--in order to make waging war make sense, they had to frame the Central Church as unimportant so they wouldn't lose something important when they killed Rhea. But then. If the Central Church is so unimportant, there's no way they're so evil and corrupt and pervasive that they have to be uprooted with violence. I thought my brain was really just turned off but turns out this route was really just written that poorly??dflgkdj

No cuz like that's. The exact problem, you hit the nail on the head.

Claude can't be straight up evil, and thus can't be portrayed as doing something that's actually that bad - it's clear that they're tryin' to portray him as a guy just trying to get by as best he can for his own people. But herein lies the conundrum: if the Central Church is important to the people of Fodlan (both on a personal level and a pragmatic one), and Rhea is the leader of the Central Church and is the one doing all of these good things for everyone, and Claude is trying to get rid of it and kill her, then he's clearly doing something objectively wrong. So it has to be the case that the Church isn't that important to his people then - now he can retain being a good guy trying the best for his people.

But. Then. If it's so unimportant that literally no one gives a shit about taking it down - they're not rioting nor are they rallying, they're legit described as "calm" - then the Central Church is clearly not that impactful to Leicester. The people of which Claude is supposed to be doing all of this for. Their complete nonreaction to the declaration of war - starkly different from the Empire, who needed actual propaganda to even be remotely calmed, and to the Kingdom whose nobility and people place high value in the Central Church's existence - should tell Claude and everyone else that they're barking up the wrong tree.

The game can not decide whether it wants to portray the Church as something bad or not to save its life. Dimitri takes it in only for pragmatic purposes, Claude wants to take it down, Edelgard wants to take it down, all this shit gets flung at it, and then you fuckin' pan the camera over to them and the Church is pickin' daisies and making flower crowns for lil' kids. There is no justification ever given as to why the Church is constantly looked at with a side-eye by literally everyone; 3Hopes doesn't have WC to make Rhea look sus, so why does everyone... act like they've been through WC? 3Hopes wanted to have its cake and eat it too, and it impacted just about every single character.

I'm just confounded that Claude - Mr. Curious, Mr. I-Want-All-The-Answers, someone who is open-minded enough to see the merit of being positively compared to Rhea and who wanted to hear her side of things despite everything - is drowning in evidence that points directly to the Church not being guilty of pretty much everything he accused of it, and he just... well, even saying that he ignores it gives the writing too much credit, at least in this specific instance. These facts are ignored by the narrative itself. No one brings these facts up. No one notices this, even when they're actively talking about it. It's like the writers didn't even notice this when writing it out. The closest this instance gets to being "acknowledged" is in Claude's support with Dimitri (where he does just flat out ignore Dimitri's points, because why write Claude when you can just write EdeIgard instead lmao), and even then it never brings up any of this. Just mind-boggling

[cowederevived]

Hello, this is a rant post because I need to evacuate some thoughts, I know this blog isn’t for it, but don’t hesitate to respond in anyway, if you agree or not. I would seriously really appreciate, this blog is the only place where I can really discuss about stuff with people outside of my work environement (because my work is my life, and funnily enough I hate my work.)

Upon rewatching Hellsing (the 2001 show) and now ultimate (the ovas) I’ve come to realize something.

See I’m not usually one for the edgy, I tend to find it more funny and litteraly cringe than cool, it’s not that I don’t like a bit of edge, A dark character can be very cool when done with an appropriate tone or contrast, or just being an evil fucking bastard, for example ruin from UU is very very edge and cringe, but I don’t consider it bad writting at all, he’s litteraly an overzealous fanatic who think he’s god favorite very probably because he got 2 UMA in him who groomed him into thinking he was gonna survive ragnarok, ill never say that the edge in berserk is bad for example, (well I do for some of the stuff that comes before golden age. Before GA guts is a dark sasuke on steroid and outside from the halucinations, I can’t take him seriously)

But anyway, even without my not trully appreciation for the edge, nowadays when someone tells me "oh that show is so cool it’s dark and mature" I’m SUPER OFTEN disappointed. I mean come on guys, really, solo leveling is "the peak of maturity and badass?" "Omg sun said arise, and summon tons of ex bosses he fought that constantly praise him like fangirls" (And for those who haven’t read the manwha, I’ll add that those shadows are among the best characters in the series, and they aren’t great or profound.) or to change series "wow rimuru is so cool now that he transformed into a demon after eating one". "Annos is peak badass, he killed a guy then used magic to resurect him and killed him 100 times!" or even mentioning how there’s people out there who consider stuff like kingdom of ruin or redo no healer "deep and mature" because girls get r*ped in it. Rudeus being labeled as a good guy for doing absolutely no effort in helping a girl who is trap in this world with him because "ugh real world was bullying me" where we’ve seen him do litteraly no effort in real life at all.

It made me realize something, for a while I thought that "yeah it’s just not your age anymore" or "don’t be a boomer, you were cringe too back then" "you lack objectivity" but fuck it I’m gonna say it those series ARE trash, mid at best, but if you consider stuff like THAT peak, really ? You clearly haven’t watched good series, and it’s not an issue of "but it’s the genre / trope" you want good mature show ? They exist, you want a good isekai ? Same, log horizon’s worldbuilding and not have the entire world rely on the powerfull but not op protag is right there, you want a good power fantasy ? Ever heard of fucking dragon ball ? (I know it’s a shonen neketsu first, but really shonen neketsu is power fantasy except with a minimum of depth and characters with personality)

I won’t spoil in details Hellsing / Hellsing ultimate because I really think it’s a story that needs to be watch, but it’s not just good because "ahahah ultra badass psycho vampire, girl with huge boobs and even huger guns and English lady boss kill nazis" the whole story is a parallel about moving on from traumas of the past and the idiocy of following dogmas / the past without thinking, and that’s just scratching what’s good.

Meanwhile what does a show like solo leveling teach us ? "Be on the grind and a sigma male and be super handsome rich and strong because that’s the only way girls and people will care about you and respect you ?" "Be a piece of shit to people and you’ll be rewarded" "every Japanese is an asshole" (ok in all seriousness that last one is something in manwhas in general and it can easily be understand that Korea has a grudge against them because of history)

Anyway all that to say, I’m tired of pretending that mediocre, or even bad series are good just because duhu they’re popular and it’s the new style. There’s PLENTY of good new stuff. But people don’t focus on it and it’s fucking pissing me off.

Just in the shonen genre : dandadan, yozakura familly, undead unluck (duh), jjk ( i mean it’s not very "new Gen" and tbf the last arc crumbles because of gege’s writing and him being stuck with underdeveloped characters that no one care about because he put all his eggs on just a few chars. Basically it was very good for a while, like mha really (even though for mha it’s because the author takes 0 risk and just wants to please the fans) didn’t paid off, but you can respect the work) sakomoto days or yes even kagurabachi (throw in the memes) and even BIG SHOCKER one piece.

And that’s JUST SOME of jump’s content (well dandadan isn’t in the main magazine but shut up) AND I just talked about the most apreciated genre of battle shonen, staying in jump you got very fucking cool stuff like blue box, akanebanashi, csm, witch watch, elusive samouraï.

And once again, that’s just from jump and currently running. If you want good writen stories of any genre theres TON, and I can assure you that you will find badass and cool characters you can self insert into, difference is that they have actual care put into them, and say stuff, and have more than 1 character.

To chill me out I’ll remember than frieren and apothecary diaries got freakishly good results and that’s very fucking cool. I’ll also remember that we have very good non shonen targeted stuff like some high quality rom coms (dress up darling (in its first parts, gojo’s continuous depression and self doubt is getting on my nerves personally, they made him regress and it sucks) komi can’t comunicate, bochi the rock or dangers in my heart come to mind) Go watch them (the diaries have like, no action at all, but at the minimum go watch frieren, there’s a reason why people are saying it’s a new goat on the level of a fmab, as long as you have two neurons and now how to focus on a story, you’ll have a wonderfull time, it’s also plenty epic)

Anyway all that rant to say : it’s ok to like trash, I do to for other stuff, everyone does, it can even be your favorite thing. But please for the love of god and anything sacred, do yourself a favor and actually watch / read good stuff, varied at least, try to analyze what makes a good story and don’t be a slave to market that copy paste formula harder than an ai fucking could. It’s so fucking tiring to see authors and passionate project crash when next to them a copy pasta formula who does no effort and just rubs the viewer in the good way to have them brain disconnect on it. I know that anime and manga is a distraction, it’s for fun, but respect work and creativity for f sake (Queue the joke about the fact that a person who does ai art says all that)

[newswcanonprompts]

prompt #37 - Jedi are like Magpies and love their clones

sorry we haven’t posted in forever! to make up for it, i’m posting one of our longest and detailed prompts (maybe even the longest)- this came from a LONG discussion a few weeks back, and it was a lot of fun. this idea morphed a ton, and it became this huge thing. this is personally my favorite one, so hope you enjoy!

Jedi collect trinkets and wear them!!! Hand them to others as a very important gift

The Clones dont really get it, but they are happy

The jedi make them things like jewelry, keychains, little beaded things, colored strings, they’ll give them feathers, you name it 

Its another way to show that they are individuals, and that the jedi know them specifically 

The veteran clones have long keychain type things and the shiny clones want them very much and it’s something they look forward to 

The padawans hand the commanders things and being sad when the CC’s tell them they can’t take them into battle 

Krell gets found out earlier.

“Okay, look, i know krell is… well, he is *something* and i don’t want to accuse a master of the order but have you looked at his men?! where the hell are their keychains?!”

The padawans stage a protest at the senate because how else are they going to make sure that their troops know they are loved and get their trinkets 

This idea can get angsty really quickly (finding trinkets after battles, in ship crashes, or post-order 66), but we won’t do that because of how angsty this server already is, we need some fluff sometimes

Palaptine can commit self delete 

Clones will paint armor for padawans cause that is how they show honor and stuff 

The clones, upon figuring out what they mean, give their jedi trinkets also

Mirialan padawan holding armor they got: “ITS GREEN LIKE ME!” 

There are little figurines, some painted rocks, some little shiny things found on the battlefield

The clones who aren’t as good with their hands singing songs or telling stories

The jedi record them and keep them on little datachips that they keep on them at all times

Barriss doesn’t go bad because this is happy time

The jedi padawans start a riot / protest outside the senate building because some clones got their trinkets taken away by asshole civilians because they’re “not human”, just copies

The (now very pissed off) jedi sprung into action

If a snooty senator(s) takes away a clone’s trinket, the jedi just sit back and grind to a halt. Because if the clones, the PEOPLE WHO PROTECT THE REPUBLIC, are gonna get treated like that, the war can wait 

The jedi knights and masters just meditate wherever the padawans are protesting

This is done to ‘keep the peace’

If anakin hears a snooty senator degrade the clones, he starts ranting and shouting about their individuality and accomplishments, while pointing at each trinket.

Someone live streams this

Luminara joins in (barriss is right behind) 

Aayla too 

Luminara, anakin, aayla, tag teamed shouted speech 

Ahsoka and barriss are being held back by the CC’s (ahsoka is making some very crude hand gestures and barriss is like “i can name every bone in your body as i break it” - cause barriss has all that healer knowledge) 

Once these three are done, mace windu comes along with the council. They think mace is going to scold the three of them until mace starts shouting at the senators too. The council just lets mace do all the talking. 

This is the most watched live stream this year. It’s very funny and starts a ton of memes (obi wans face, yoda meditating, the look of “oh shit” on the original snooty senator’s face, the look of surprise on everyone when mace starts shouting too - there is also a gif made of the council looking at the situation, looking at themselves (mostly mace) and then they all step back to let mace do the talking, the clones faces when they see that three jedi and then the jedi high council are defending them)

Mace, rolling up his sleeves: “okay let’s do this” 

The senators: backing away in fear 

Obi wan might commit a war crime right now because no way people can talk about his troops like that

Obi wan: “am i allowed to kill a senator?”

Cody: “General, do not-”

This whole thing leads to a massive debate and overwhelmingly good PR for the jedi and clones

Shady sheev doesn’t like that. Good PR for the jedi? No thank you. But since this is a fixit he gets his ass kicked later on so everything’s fine (skeevy sheev has to scramble to try to fix his plans though) 

All the padawans from that one lightsaber episode (the one on ilum where the younglings got their kyber crystals) are there and SHIT’S GOING DOWN

Petro in particular is very close to kicking someone’s ass 

Caleb dume is there also.

“Master depa said we should never raise our blades in revenge or anger. But this is not revenge.” this is war, this is justice, this is defense of a defenseless group 

Padme also joins in all of this (but much more calmly)

She also might make some passive aggressive comments about the snooty senators trash outfit 

She and all her senator friends are gonna blacklist the original culprit 

Padme and bail organa (they also got help from many jedi) put in the clone rights bill the next day

In the halls outside the debate chamber, padme threatens to gut people with her hair pins if they don’t vote in her favor

sure, it’s *technically* extortion, but come on, who’s gonna stop her? those pins are pointy y’all

Anakin tried to help draft / present the bill but he spent most of his time ranting about the injustices the clones have to face (leia had to get it from someone)

Anakin, out of breath: “AND ALL YOU SENATORS JUST SIT HERE, DOING NOTHING, WHEN THEY’RE OUT THERE DYING FOR YOU-” 

Padme: “okay ani i got this, drink some water please” 

Ahsoka also jumps in 

Plo, who’s watching the debate: “little ‘soka, please don’t hurt anyone” (but he’s not about to stop her, after all these are his sons we’re talking about) 

If someone said “well they’re not slaves?” anakin would go OFF. if you thought he was angry before… you got another thing coming.

“I AM A FREED SLAVE! I KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE! THESE MEN HAVE LESS RIGHTS THAN I DID AS A SLAVE!” 

If the public doesn’t know about his childhood before, they do now

Imagine the shock 

Padme: “Ani, deep breaths, it’s gonna be okay.” 

Also padme, to the other senators: “well i mean he’s not wrong you assholes”

Padme is also making very well timed comments and suggestions. It’s the most successful day she’s had since she became senator

She’s also revealing all the senators’ dirty secrets

Padme: “oh, senator so-and-so, i released all your finances and your voting history on the holonet. I’m sure your supporters will love that you’re embezzling funds. Oh, you lost your support? Tragic.” 

The jedi also have dirt on everyone and they just casually let everything slip like they weren’t secrets 

Shady sheev Palpacreep is in his little podium thing during the debate, and he is very pissed, because his plan is getting ruined, but he can’t let it show or else people will discover the truth about him

Anakin: “isn’t it great that we’re finally doing something about it?” 

Sheev, pained: “Of course-” 

This whole debate is still live streamed - and it’s very popular

The senate who made the original comment and started all of this is #cancelled 

This is the greatest thing the galaxy has ever seen / watched because drama 

If a jedi dies, and they aren’t brought back to the temple, they are burned with the other dead on the battlefield. Young padawans take their master’s trinkets in remembrance, wanting to follow their path and have tangible proof that the master passed into the force but that they left their mark in the world

You do not burn the trinkets. Krell tried once. It almost started a jedi civil war (maybe that’s how he gets found out) 

Or maybe krell was found out because he gives zero trinkets to his men, and everyone caught on and were like “hey wtf man” 

But if you wanna make it angsty ( cough cough umbara ) then krell tells the 501st to remove / burn / throw out their trinkets or he’d do it for them 

He gives them an example by slicing a very special one that anakin and ahsoka both gave to rex 

Krell also slices one of dogma’s. It was the only one dogma had because  he was newish to the battalion at the time and wasn’t sure if accepting the trinkets was against regs or not. Krell slashes it and dogma doesn’t say anything but there were tears in his eyes 

All the jedi who find out what happened replace all the trinkets so fast. They also give krell’s men a shit ton of presents.

Krell’s men have no idea what to do with them, but they are so touched a few shed tears when they get them 

The clones get small tattoos of patterns that the little padawans drew for the men

The tattoos are small because some of them *might* just be random squiggles but the padawans looked so happy the clones just had to get them tattooed

Anakin orders japor wood with padme's bank account to make snippets for the clones because it’s not only a jedi thing, it’s from anakin's homeworld - and that’s like the highest praise you can get from him

The clones might not know exactly what it means but they know its super special 

Padme figures out a way to buy japor wood in bulk. Anakin is very touched by this 

When snooty senators start badmouthing clones, yoda just sits there and meditates to drive the senators nuts

“Sitting, i am, because stand you bitches, i cannot” 

Padme gets many trinkets from the 501st because they all *know* about her and anakin

Any trinkets that she gets she likes to incorporate into her outfits (like the warrior fashionista that she is) 

She embroiders some of them into her dresses and hairpieces 

They both get a TON of trinkets when the twins are born

Padme also gives trinkets to the 501st, some of the 212th, and all of the coruscant guard. Especially fox cause she sees all the work he does and the senators he has to deal with 

She’s besties with the coruscant guard. Like yeah, she knows the 501st and they know about her and anakin (and she’s one of them because of it) but the guard is who she’s always with

She probably wore red on debate day to represent them

[dumbfinntales]

After a small break I went back into Kingdoms of Amalur Re-reckoning and beat its last two DLC’s. So how did it fare?

Kingdoms of Amalur is a fine action RPG marred with some annoying quirks, but also has a lot of potential. Y’know this game had the potential to be one of my favorite games of all time but it didn’t quite reach that status. I do have enjoyed flawed games quite a bit in the past (for example Dragons Dogma), but this games flaws really hinder my enjoyment of it.

But first let me sing its praises. The build variety in this game is surprisingly big and you can make any kind of build you desire by mixing the three main stats. There’s even a “build” for a jack of all trades character. These builds come in the form of destinies that give you certain benefits based on your stats. Imagine like a build, when you have 10 might you can become a warrior and being a warrior comes with its own perks. I was a hybrid class in finesse and magic, so my end destiny was called shadowcaster. A really cool name for a destiny I’d say. My favorite perk from going this route was that my dodge move turned into a short range teleport instead.

The games lore is very extensive and quite fascinating. When I started this game it felt like they just bombarded me with generic fantasy names, but eventually after playing the game for a while I go really into the lore. I especially liked the Gnomes in this game as their society is based on ancient Roman culture and they’re people of science. Plus they’re a breath of fresh air as most fantasy games use dwarves instead.

But beyond that the game tumbles quite a bit in my eyes. The combat especially just doesn’t feel good or responsive. Your character has massive stun animations making multi hit attacks stunlock you, there’s no i-frames so you often roll into enemy attacks and enemies also have stupid tracking. Their attacks home in on you. The team behind this game couldn’t design a good boss fight even if they tried. The Gnome boss and the giant demon thing were alright I guess, but most bosses were just underwhelming. Especially the final boss of the story. DLC bosses were no better either. I also felt that the reckoning mode was really unbalanced. It’s cool in practice and a neat gameplay addition for extra XP, but it felt like an auto win button. Especially on bosses, they can’t do anything to you.

The dungeons were really bad. Most of them were big corridors with nothing interesting in them. I’d only explore dungeons if it was related to a quest. I’d rather explore the dungeons in Oblivion than here. I also learned just how much I fucking hate randomized loot. I find a hidden chest that has a very hard lock on it, and what do I find inside? A fucking leaf for crafting potions. Then I walk to a pile of rubbish and I find the legendary sword of nut slapping, what the fuck? I can’t count the amount of times when I explore entire dungeons and find fuck all, but then I kill a random wolf outside of the dungeon and find a legendary armor piece. Randomized loot is fucking awful, but even more so in this game.

As for the DLC’s I thought they were fine. Gravehal in the Dead Kel expansion was really fun to rebuild and manage. The story of Dead Kel was interesting, but not mind blowing. Took me about a days worth to do everything. Teeth of Naros was a lot better. It felt fresh with entirely new enemy types, a new race called the Kolossae and a neat floating city. The lore of the Kolossae was interesting and I loved how their society was based on ancient Greece. There were some neat side quests as well, but my favorite in the whole game was the debate club. Ahh, I remember when the greatest philosophers of Greece would beat the shit out of each other to figure out who is right or wrong. It was great.

Kingdoms of Amalur has potential, but this first outing felt like it fell flat on its face. I don’t outright hate the game, I had fun with it. But I wish they did some things better. But it’d be a shame if all this lore and the world they created went to waste, and there’s the potential. If they somehow managed to make a sequel to this game with better combat and dungeon design it could be beyond fantastic. I’m sure there’s a lot left to explore when it comes to this world extensive lore. So yeah. Kingdoms of Amalur gets a randomized loot out of stop stunlocking me!

[eldritchsurveys]

881.

5k Survey VIII

351. Have you ever lost something and never found it? >> Sure. There’s whole parts of myself that I lost and never got back. But also, like, one time I left my favourite flannel in the airport and never got that back. Can’t even get a new one, I think the company stopped selling it. 352. Do you listen to any talk radio shows? >> No. 353. Who do you trust more, your friends or your parents? >> I don’t trust anyone. 354. Would you ever date someone outside of your race or religion? >> I’ve done so. 355. Which of the 7 deadly sins in the worst (gluttony, greed, pride, lust, envy, wrath, sloth)? >> My theory is that Sloth is the most egregious -- all of the other sins are encouraged and tend to proliferate because of slothful individuals (that is, individuals who don’t care to lift a finger to stop wrongdoing when they witness it). Sloth is the sucking mire of complacency, the willingness to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others as long as one’s own comfort is not infringed upon. It’s also the most easy to commit, in my opinion, which makes it a slippery slope.

356. Which one are you most guilty of? >> Sloth, obviously. Why do you think I understand it so well? ~ (Pride has been a big one for me in the past, too.) 357. Are you afraid to be alone with yourself? Do you try to avoid thinking? >> On bad days, I have the contradictory problem of desperately wanting to isolate so no one else has to deal with me (or treat me like shit for being socially unacceptable) but also knowing that being left to my own devices can lead to a toxic cycle of rumination and self-castigation. So, yeah, I don’t like being alone with myself sometimes, but at the same time, what else am I supposed to do? 358. Would you venture to tell someone you loved him or her if they didn’t say it first? >> I have no idea how I would react to this kind of situation. 359. What are you the most sensitive about? >> Gonna skip this one for my own sanity right now. 360. What can you talk about for hours? >> I’m not sure. I’ve never been in the position to talk for hours about something. 361. Do you talk about yourself, other people, or ideas the most? >> Myself, I suppose. Or ideas. Maybe a combination of both. 362. Do you believe that spell casting can work? >> I’m inclined to think so. 363. Are you a fan of The Legend of Zelda games? >> I wouldn’t say that -- I’ve never played any of them and the only reason I know anything about them is because of 1) Sparrow and 2) what I researched after King Crimson arrived on my astral doorstep. My interest is more casual (and more focused on one character in particular) than fan-hood would suggest. 364. What old movie would you go see if it were re-released in the movie theaters? >> I don’t know. I’m fine just watching them at home. 365. Is there a celebrity that you would be too starstruck to talk to if you met them? >> No. I prefer to just talk to them like any other stranger -- a little formally since we’re not on familiar terms, but affably and without making them feel spotlighted. They’re still just people, after all, and all that fawning attention has to be irritating and off-putting. It would be for me, I know that much. 366. Have you ever left a mean unsigned note? >> No. 367. Do you think it’s cheesy to paste things you didn’t write into your diary? >> Of course not. It’s a diary, you do whatever you want with it. The traditions of the commonplace book and the scrapbook are long and storied. (I think of my personal tumblr in those terms, in fact.) 368. What are three things that you try not to think about? >> I can’t think of anything that fits this description. 369. Is casual sex acceptable for you? >> No. 370. What form of sexual protection do you use? >> Not having sex. 371. What is expected of you that you feel is unnatural or not right? >> Just about everything that’s expected of me doesn’t actually apply to me, so. 372. Do you sometimes place your own expectations on other people? >> Sometimes. Like, I expect other people to be more forthright about things, and not expect me to figure it out through arcane social cues that I never learned or cared to follow. Or, I expect people to treat me with more respect and compassion than I sometimes receive. 373. Do you sometimes act overeager to make friends when you are around strangers? >> No, mostly the opposite. 374. Do you take everything that is said literally? >> Not everything, but sometimes I do take things more literally than I’m supposed to. It really just depends on whether I’ve encountered that situation before. 375. Do you take most things others say seriously? >> If I can determine than I’m meant to, yeah. Sometimes I can’t (especially in text). 376. Do you have a quick wit? >> I think I do sometimes. But equally, I have a lot of moments where I think of the funny thing to say long after the moment has passed. 377. Do you believe in the need for political correctness? >> I don’t care about this. 378. Do you have strong opinions and beliefs? >> Not really. I mean, maybe a couple, but generally I feel like I’m more apathetic about things than most. I just don’t have the energy, really. 379. If yes, can you still hang out with and be friends with people who disagree with you? >> Sure, as long as I don’t feel condescended to or otherwise disrespected. And there are some issues that directly affect me that I can’t just overlook -- for example, I can’t be friends with a white supremacist, because fucking duh. 380. Are you uptight? >> That’s not a word I would use for myself. “Neurotic” might apply in some situations, though. 381. Do you sometimes do risky things? >> I mean, maybe. Like not washing my greens before eating them. I just don’t have the executive function, man. 382. Could just about anyone hold your interest in a conversation for at least ten minutes? >> Not “just about anyone”, no. Some people and some subjects just aren’t interesting to me, and that’s the way it goes. 383. Are you self-conscious? >> Yes. I think there was a long time where I wasn’t, where my theory of mind was kind of wonky, and sometimes I miss that carefree-ness. At least let me find a comfortable middle ground, because this hypervigilance is killing me. 384. What would be your ideal destination for a Saturday afternoon? >> I don’t know. 385. Does anyone have a video tape of you doing something embarrassing? >> That’s highly improbable. 386. What is Kevin Smith’s(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Smith) best movie? >> I liked Dogma a lot. 387. Where do you like to go on Friday or Saturday nights? >> --- 388. Do you like your friends to act the same way all the time or do you accept their moods and changes? >> I accept all people’s moods and changes because I understand that there’s nothing static about being human. Whether I’m willing to personally put up with certain moods and changes depends on the person and their connection to me. 389. Do you often feel like other people are judging you? >> Yes. 390. What do you think other people judge you to be like? >> I don’t want to get into that, it’s just going to be a laundry list of brutally negative adjectives. 391. Are you quick to judge others? >> Nah. 392. When you have a fight with someone do you want to talk about it right away or calm down first and then talk? >> I feel like a rubber band -- torn between my need to get rid of those bad feelings as quickly as possible by unloading them right then and there, and my need to flee and lick my wounds in a dark corner somewhere. In practice, either I end up behaving badly and giving myself more wounds to lick, or I shut down and nothing ever gets resolved (you guessed it: giving myself more wounds to lick). I don’t even know what a good resolution to a conflict looks like anymore. 393. Some say love is a river (according to the old song). What do you say love is? >> Fuck off. 394. What is the worst fault a person can have? >> I don’t know. 395. Do you have it? >> Probably. 396. Which do you think has more impact on a person’s character, genetics or environment? >> They both have a significant impact on a person’s character, what are you even asking me. 397. Who was your first best friend? >> --- 398. If you are not best friends anymore, what came between you? >> --- 399. Who have you read a biography about? >> I had a phase where I was really into musician bios, so I read a bunch of those in my early 20s. I’ve also read at least a few of Maya Angelou’s bios, and Tina Turner’s, because my father had them in the house when I was a child and I tended to just read everything within reach. 400. What would your own autobiography be called? >> No.

[jenniferisacommonname]

Stop Calling It “Screen Time”

There are few phrases in the English language that annoy me as much as “screen time.” It belongs to that special class of bigotry that is so grossly imprecise, it can’t even be classified as a proper -ism because it targets the majority. It’s a prejudice without any juris, a bias with no slant, a dogma whose rejection is so universal that it might as well be feline. To claim that every pixel is the same is to say that Shakespeare is equal to Playboy because they're both printed on paper. It's ridiculous.

The better distinction is one of content. I’d rather my children play a good video game than read a bad book, and I’d positively insist that they watch a movie instead of running around outside playing a game of, for example, “Smear the Queer.” (If you’re not familiar with this playground staple of yesteryear, be glad. If you are, then you understand my point that not all forms of exercise offer a net benefit.) Of course there are good books, and there are good ways to get physical exercise, and my family engages in both regularly. I am not arguing that “screen time” should be placed above rather than below; I’m saying it’s a meaningless category that shouldn’t exist at all.

Similarly, the rationalization that “we only let them watch things that are educational” makes me only slightly less furious. It almost always indicates a misunderstanding of what learning really is—and I say this as someone who worked for an educational software company for a while. My coworkers in that office were smart, dedicated people, who loved children and thought technology made just the neatest window dressing. They didn’t get it. And why should they? Gaming wasn’t their profession. Their flaw was not an ignorance of technology’s strengths—which they certainly had—but rather the hubris of thinking that, hey, anybody could do it.

The truth is that a kid will practice far more math skills playing an RPG with complicated stats management than he’ll ever get from a “fun math games” website that took a flash programmer 20 minutes to develop. Then there is learning outside the three Rs to take into account, like social interaction and awareness. I firmly believe that my children are better served by a co-op video game—in which they have to evaluate and rely on each other's skills, and learn both the verbal and emotional components of teamwork—than some hapless kid who isn't allowed to have her own screens, but is constantly learning through Mommy's example how to measure her self-worth in terms of likes.

It’s true that I grew up playing games, and that has surely had an influence. But a large part of my position here actually stems from a demonstration I saw during my freshman year of college. Several of the classes in the Radio-TV-Film curriculum were required of all students, regardless of whether we were budding directors, screenwriters, sound techs, or otherwise. So, by way of introduction, professors would often go around the room on the first day and ask about our focus within the major. On this particular occasion, the professor ended the exercise with an oddly smug declaration.

“Okay. You've told me why you think you're here,” he said. “Now, I'm going to tell you why you're really here.” He peered over the room expectantly. “Raise your hand if you were not allowed to watch television as a child.”

Roughly 85% of the hands in the room went up. Everyone looked around in shock, because I guess they’d all been thinking they were the only one. (Full disclosure: I was not allowed to watch TV for several years at my mother’s house. But that didn’t start until I was nine, and I spent the majority of my time at my dad’s house, where the TV was on constantly. I’m as much a victim of subconscious conditioning as anybody else; I’m just saying my own reasons for being there emerged from a different set of animal instincts.)

“That's right,” our professor crooned, an edge of triumph in his voice. “And it's too late for you. But I want you to remember this, for when you have kids. Understand that if you forbid them something that society deems generally acceptable, all you've done is plant the seed for their obsession.”

So yeah, I think that if you want your kid to become a professional game tester, then by all means, severely limit their screen time. See how that works out.

I do not, incidentally, mean that addiction should be allowed to flourish. Obsessions of any kind are bad, whether it's digital or emotional or gustatory or anything else. The overall skill we all have to master is self-regulation, and when you completely cut children off, they're not learning it. They're just twitching within your artificial chains, salivating for a chance at freedom. The phrase, “Okay, I've had enough of this, it's time for something else,” doesn't just magically come with age. It takes real practice, and a level of involvement on the parents' part. Maybe the obsessive tendencies are so bad that it has to start with just one minute at a time, and when the kid can successfully walk away from that without a fit, the parents can inch it up to two minutes—whatever it takes. But successful integration must be the long-term goal, or else you're just setting them up to binge the moment you're not around. The bigger the wall, the more gruesome the high-dive is off the top.

And I know it’s tough being a generation on the edge. Many parents have never gotten comfortable with new media, and gnash their teeth at the thought of playing their kids’ video game for ten minutes just to understand what it's really like. But you have to. You have to be involved in the content they're consuming, and avoid the temptation to cop out through format bans. Before you know it, you’ll be forming a family team on Rocket League and having the time of your life.

[un-nmd]

Recent listening—

In which the past 8 months of digression into (for lack of a better word—and note the literary tongs) “Classical” music comes to an end. Not that henceforth the theme will be dropped; only that the consistency of the trend will here be broken.

Steeping in one sphere of music for an extended time results in a complete recalibration in taste, as well as, in this case, the subsequent need for some gateway album or albums to facilitate a reintroduction to (again for lack of a better word) “Popular” music. These albums, now found, and listed in part below, are presently catalysing a frenzied exploration into some of the more difficult niches of the Western output, necessitating future reports.

———

Ween, GodWeenSatan: The Oneness (1990) Followers of the Boognish cite Gener and Deaner’s blood-scrawled makeshift license to do whatever the fuck they want in defence for why Ween’s the greatest band in the world and there’s no-one else like ‘em. One flaw though: yeah you set out to make a farce of all borne from formulae but go too far in the other direction and the once-sweet chaos over-saturates somewhat; you get a blunting of what begun so ideologically incisive. Even vulgarity becomes rather banal especially when you preach it for 9 or so minutes on a rather uninteresting directionless jam like they do on, for example, “L.M.L.Y.P.” (which a certain regent’s probably rolling in his grave because of). And see also “Blackjack” for the same type of creative dearth—which, however, there’s admittedly less of in this, their debut, than on later efforts The Pod and Pure Guava. Generally, those two atrocities aside (those quoted), there’s plenty evidence of songwriting ability—but still, most of it’s hindered in shallow aleatory because they’re too insecure to just let it speak for itself. Reject all pretension and you end up fearing anything that hints of seriousness—and this is what you’re left with. On the other hand I can agree that very few things approach the level of energy they sustain for the better part of 76 minutes. An admirable failure. Subsequent efforts aren’t deserving of equal sympathy—but note I’ve yet to hear The Mollusk. In conclusion, here’s the moral: anarchy in moderation, kids.

Captain Beefheart and The Magic Band, Lick My Decals Off, Baby (1970) The right descriptors are beyond me anyhow, but nothing beats just hearing the eponymous opener with fresh ears and it slowly dawning on you that every lick, every groan, every gesture and outburst in Van Vliet’s (not Igor’s) introductory asymmetric racket was deliberate; predestined, if you will, or just the regular ‘composed’ if you won’t, yes and clinically so, calculatedly so; meticulous in the manner of an archetypal mastermind murderer, of a disturbed psyche wreaking its alien order on social norms, a jagged mind-scape dragging its violent peaks across all we held sacred, all we thought true. For Beefheart in purest form derives from none, takes no catechism; that which was borne from Trout Mask hailed from no familiar land or mapped territory. Here there be dragons—but navigate through with your visionary crew (magic band of brethren) and you’ll find a bit of genius as well. And also you’ll find that the native vocabulary’s somewhat adaptable to your own: take the first vocal cue on “Doctor Dark” (”…mmmmMMMAMA, mama, here come Doctor Da-ark…”) which is every bit as thrilling as a swing band horn entry over a tight groove, only the groove’s been recently diagnosed with cardiac arrythmia and is missing a beat every couple of bars like: 1-2-3-4, 1-2-upbeat!—DOWNbeat! (an old trick but a good one); or later on in the same hear Beefheart’s devilishly sweet break into free-verse at “Black leather lady Lord carried her bags the hell horn hell horn hell horn horn rim crimped“ which likens to Coltrane dropping the head and descending into his sheets of sound only here the backing’s also done the same; or have at the libretto to “Bellerin’ Plain” and tell me it ain’t poetry:

Parapliers the willow dipped Rolled roots gnarled like rakers This hollow hole don’t hold no jokers or fakers … Mah cowcatcher whistled like uh steel flash scream Hose sucked out for water ‘n the wheeldriver sparkled like an Indian flint ‘n the fireman ‘n the brakeman Bent ‘n waved his long red underwear arm all aboard ‘n the lantern flared ‘n the caboose waved uh green gone on

U.S. Maple, Talker (1999) I’m convinced that amidst these black ramblings there lies a thing of beauty. For in the sculpting of time that we call composition, to work the rough away requires cruel chisel, dark magic, a vision unrelenting and its vicious execution; in short, brutality, as opposed to that charlatan’s art which polishes the rough but leaves the true diamond unfound. Hence the dissonance, the noise continuum, the mutant syllables—more horror, indeed, but at each offence to the prude’s ear another veil is torn asunder; dogma’s defeat at the hands of the mysteries of the macabre. Reconsidered, the terrifying turns tranquil and nightmare becomes nocturne; a qualitative inversion via catharsis. And should you cross, it is there on the other side where you’ll find beauty.

Polvo, Today’s Active Lifestyles (1993) Not as drastically subversive as others we’ve seen so far; hear it half-mindedly with ears set to “post-punk” and it’ll pass without impression—but on closer inspection all is not well. There’s qualities amiss, something slightly warped, slightly unsettling; a sour taste creeping just above the threshold. Try and follow the first song for form and it’ll be elusive. How did we get here? You can’t remember. It’s episodic like Mahler but at least in Mahler you usually can discern some sort of mutant sonata-allegro. With this: no such comfort. Question the harmony and you’ll find no answers there either. Out of tune? Perhaps—or perhaps microtonal. Was that a tritone? Yes but not as you know them, not with any rules of approach and resolution, for they make noise for the fun of it, for the feel of it. Whitewashed jams aren’t there to prove some theory about static harmony but rather just because they’re appealing sonic scapes to dwell in. If a certain major triad tastes nice, sure, they’ll put it in, but since they don’t discriminate except by immediate effect, choose any unrelated clashy dissonance and it’ll hold an equal chance of being drafted (perhaps even for right after the triad if they’re feeling particularly whimsical). So the poles mingle haphazardly and in all this ends up lying in an awkward niche between the all-out avant-garde and the regulation math-rock/post-punk of, for example, Preoccupations (f.k.a. Viet Cong) or Omni. But compared to those two this is so much more rewarding.

Sonic Youth, Bad Moon Rising (1985) First four pass mostly without incident then at “Ghost Bitch” night falls and Mrs. Gordon invokes those industrial demons they’ve been wailing on about who awake to an awful pounding and wreak their havoc; mellow jams (or as close to as Moore & Co. can ever get) such as on “I Love Her All the Time” decompose to the unstructured interludes that surround “I’m Insane” which if you are I’d guess it’s because of that bad moon (ya loony). Then the drunkard’s rant outside the kangaroo court that is the first half of “Justice is Might” and the latter half surrendering to a slow-shuffling hazed-out procession of sorts (riff tolling like a bell through thick ashes) with destination: “Death Valley ‘69” where the cute-named Lydia Lunch groans and shrieks like a woman possessed. Hear it and the image that springs to mind involves her buffeting about in some primal dance, in motion sympathetic to inner rage that’s either borrowed or stolen or forced upon her, and she’ll need it all, plus Thurston’s, for what’s for sure the most brutal hook on the whole thing, that at “Coming down / Sadie, I love it / Now, now, now / Death Valley ‘69"—and after those rollicking five minutes there’s really nothing to be said; nothing that would satisfactorily follow them up, which is why nothing did, at least, on the original release.

[i-am-very-very-tired]

AKKU April 4, 2017 at 9:46 am If someone were to be very cynical they could argue that this adds a certain cachet in an overcrowded field of work. She’s no longer just another daddy’s-little-rich-girl heiress modelling to pass the time, but a Muslim model breaking new ground by not appearing “stereotypically Muslim”. ALEXANDRIA April 4, 2017 at 10:04 am Exactly Akku, she is young and trying to get to the top, so that is plausible. If this is the reason, she shouldn’t really take this PR angle. Unless…negative publicity is still publicity for her and her team. TEACAKES April 4, 2017 at 10:07 am What benefit does being publicly Muslim bring anyone in the US? You guys had a President whose credentials and even his citizenship were publicly questioned because he had a Muslim middle name – claiming that a model can use Muslim identification as an advantage in this climate, is borderline ridiculous. I mean, if she needed to set herself apart from the crowd it’s already well known that she is of Palestinian descent. AKKU April 4, 2017 at 11:29 am @teacakes I’m not American, so your “you guys” is void. Myself and Alexandria have both mentioned we’re Muslims on this page, just as you’ve mentioned you’re culturally Christian. Still, thank you for explaining Islamophobia to us. If there’s a Christian version of mansplaining, I think you just did it. Anyway, I didn’t say I believed that was her motivation – I just said, to a cynic, that it could be seen as that. Rightly or wrongly the world’s a business and everything’s marketable, even genuine and seemingly obvious things. Even apparently negative things. There’s nothing borderline ridiculous about our brief comments regarding Bella Hadid: in fact we’ve both mentioned on this page that we’ve dealt with similar issues of how we express our faith sincerely, in public and privately. However, what is borderline ridiculous is that you tried to police a throwaway convo between two Muslims (be we cultural, devout, agnostic or other) that you misread the tone of, which is, in your defense, quite easy to do online. WHICHWITCH April 4, 2017 at 11:51 am To add to the cynical point of view – Vogue Arabia just came out and Gigi is on the cover wearing a hijab. There was a bit of backlash about that because she may not be Muslim, and “why is an American half-Palestinian girl on the first Vogue Arabia cover?”… so Bella could be hedging for these types of covers, plus the Gulf is a huge market for fashion… so yeah. I had no idea she considered herself Muslim, but that’s cool, good for her for not keeping it a secret. TEACAKES April 4, 2017 at 11:55 am @Akku – apologies for the error, I was wrong to assume you were Americans and I certainly didn’t mean to come across as mansplaining Islamophobia – just questioning the idea that identifying as Muslim in the current US political climate (since Bella is American and largely seems to work there) and in her field of work (the fashion industry not exactly being super enlightened, and advertisers even less so), would be seen as a professional advantage. On reading again, I realise I did misread the tone of your initial comments, and I’m sorry for that. SAM April 4, 2017 at 9:40 am I actually know exactly what she’s talking about. I am Palestinian as well, grew up in the USA and I also call myself a Muslim. I don’t drink and I fast during Ramadan. I pray. I however don’t abide by all the rules written in a book over 1500 years ago. But that doesn’t change the fact that I call myself a Muslim. There are varying degrees of believing in a religion. Some are extremely religious, some are in the middle and some aren’t religious at all. Bella is probably in the middle like me and millions of other people. FORESTLASS April 4, 2017 at 10:05 am Exactly, i live in a Muslim country with a religious family and i was free to do anything i want… But somehow post 911 we are all lumped together as this violent backward culture! AKKU April 4, 2017 at 11:33 am True. There are so many different ways of practising and adherence. It’s not an aspect that’s exclusive to Christianity. DAISY April 4, 2017 at 12:24 pm Bosnians for an example are Muslim and I’ve never met one that does not drink. Ever. TEACAKES April 4, 2017 at 9:59 am What’s up with all the policing of her religious identity? I consider myself culturally Christian even if my beliefs don’t match with the dogma of my church (I believe in gender equality, birth control and LGBT rights, for starters – that doesn’t make me not a Christian) because in a lot of cultures, religion is part of them – it influences everything from your name to the food you eat or the language you speak. And that goes double for a person with a religious minority background, like me – and like Bella. ALEXANDRIA April 4, 2017 at 10:14 am Teacakes, I only saw one semi policing post. The rest of the posters seem to be ok, just confused with what she’s trying to put forth and some Muslims posters have offered an interpretation. If she’s honest in this interview, there’s nothing wrong with identifying as one, even if some people outside of this forum feel she doesn’t fit the mould. TEACAKES April 4, 2017 at 11:15 am @Alexandria – Some of those ‘confused’ comments come across as rather ignorant and policing, and I won’t get into the one claiming she’s probably identifying as Muslim for professional benefit – I think I made my views on that known in my response (I understand it wasn’t ill-meant, but it did leave a bad taste in my mouth). I’ve seen this happen with her sister’s boyfriend Zayn too – people right here have claimed that he can’t be genuinely Muslim given his lifestyle/alcohol consumption. Like a commenter below says, being Muslim can run the gamut of observance just as being Jewish does, and I’m glad some people understand that. She apologises for mansplaning then continues to do so. JANEFR April 4, 2017 at 3:37 pm I’m Muslim and she fits my mould. Non- extremist–culturally-adapted-to-my-time and-country Muslim.