#like im so glad that my cousins are comfortable around me and im so upset that thats seen as some huge accomplishment

[savethepinecones]

feeling feelings about my family again

[trivia-bangtan]

after (jjk) - 005

pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes

warning: this chapter gets extremely dark 😭 (nothing new lol)

authors note: omfg im so sorry it’s taken me so long to post 😩 the schedule might change from now on bc my schedule changed 😅 but hope u guys enjoy it 😩😩

there's a phobia called agoraphobia. it’s basically the fear of places and situations that can cause panic, helplessness and/or embarrassment. usually, i can deal with it. but things like cringe worthy scenes and overly cheesy romance is unavoidable.

especially being friends with jeon jungkook.

i knew better than to hand out my phone number to just anyone, but i thought maybe jungkook would be so busy with his own life, he would leave me alone.

for his parents' sake, i hope he had unlimited talk and text for his plan. the boy texted me first thing in the morning and every hour or so. he would call me at night, sometimes even facetime me, just before he went to bed. and even when we would hang up, he would still text me goodnight.

the only other person i would talk to everyday, other than my parents, is hoseok. hoseok was my older cousin, but one of my closest friends as well. but even hoseok gave a break during the day to allow some “me time” for the both of us.

jungkook was relentless. he would always text me “good morning sunshine” and then text me “good night my moon”. what the hell even was that?

as much as it was annoying, it was endearing in a sense. i guess it was nice to have someone other than family constantly checking up on me. but some part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what namjoon had said and if he felt obligated to have to talk to me.

i knew jungkook wasn’t like that. but a small part of me couldn’t help but convince myself that it could be true.

“so the guy texts you all the time? it’s not a big deal,” hoseok said, sitting across the island in his kitchen. i stuck my fork into my bowl of fruit, impaling a small blueberry in the process.

“i mean, it’s not but it’s weird. hobi, i’ve never had someone crave to talk to me so often. and i swear it has to be because of what our counselor said,” i mumble.

the thing about hoseok is he has an aura that gets you to spill all emotions. much like jungkook. but the difference between the two of them in my life is that i’ve known hoseok a lot longer and can confirm he can keep his mouth shut.

“well contrary to your belief, you’re a decent person to have around,” he shrugs, giving a strawberry in his mouth. i snort at his comment and roll my eyes.

“wow, what a compliment. it’s a wonder you’re single,” i chuckle, shoveling the fork full of blueberries into my mouth.

“i’m single by choice. what about you?” hoseok smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” i asked, laughing at his expression.

“what?”

“the whole thing?” i respond, laying my fork down onto the counter, leaning onto it with my elbows, forearms flat as i folded my hands.

“i’m single because i choose to be. i prefer comforting solitude than forced company,” he shrugs, continuing to shovel fruit into his mouth.

“forced company?” i ask.

“yeah. like, just because we’re together, they feel obligated to HAVE to hang out with me or invite me everywhere when, in reality, i don’t give a damn. i mean, you know me. we both value our solitude and respect that. but it’s hard to find someone that understands that. and then i’m the bad guy for wanting alone time when really, it’s a mental health break,” hoseok explains, his eyes locked onto the bowl in front of him.

his statement surprised me. he was always such a people oriented person. as kids, he was the first to make friends between us and always such an extrovert. it kind of hurt to know eventually his whole personality switched. but maybe being so wrapped up in my world and in my own issues, i failed to acknowledge the people around me.

the atmosphere changed after that. almost as if there was a sad reminisce in the air.

“do you think you’re forced to keep me company?” i blurted. i couldn’t deny, the thought crossed my mind multiple times before. was everyone around me just babysitting to make sure i didn’t hurt myself?

i couldn’t tell. i knew asking would be dumb. hoseok would never tell me the truth. he’s usually a pretty blunt and up front guy, but he would never outright hurt my feelings. which saddened me even more. would he willingly lie to comfort me? knowing what i knew?

“do you think i am?”

“yeah,” i honestly admitted. we both sat in silence, taking in my answer.

it wasn’t a lie. like i said, the thought had crossed my mind. every time he placed his phone down on the table to force himself to give me his attention. the way he seemingly dropped everything immediately if i asked him to hang out with me or pick me up some place. how i never heard of him being with friends.

the more i sat there, the more i threw myself into overdrive, thinking until my head started to pound from overthinking.

“well, you’re wrong,” he sighed. my eyes flitted up to gaze at his face. he looked sullen, almost like my answer had upset him. i released a silent huff through my nose, smirking in the process.

“you don’t have to protect me,” i murmured quietly.

“my mom called me. she begged me to come home one day. i didn’t understand it at first, but she's my mom. i did as i was told. when i got home, she didn’t say anything, just told me to get in the car. i remember thinking to myself ‘what’s got her feeling this way? why is she being ominous with her actions?’ the whole drive, she said nothing,” hoseok said, a distant look in his eyes.

“she ended up pulling over at some park. it was late, so i didn’t recognize it at first. but then i realized what park it was. it was the park we went to as kids. and, again, i kept wondering to myself why she was being enigmatic with her actions. and then she spoke. she said six words and then didn’t speak the rest of the week,” he said, his voice shaken with sadness.

“what did she say?” i asked softly, my voice a mere whisper. hoseok looked up at me, his eyes glazed red.

“your cousin tried to kill herself.”

i felt like the air had come out of my lungs.

it’s funny, people like to talk about your attempts, but nobody ever tells you where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. nobody tells you the pain they feel or the hurt. the anger or the betrayal. they pretend like what they felt didn’t happen to convince themselves it wasn’t real and they could move on. because it didn’t work and you’re alive.

but hearing hoseok tell me about his experience, it stirred something in my heart and i hadn’t felt in a long time.

regret.

“she didn’t even mention if you survived or if you were okay. that’s all she said. and because she was crying, i assumed the worst. i had assumed you died. and it felt like everything in me… stopped working. like, i forgot what it was like to not have you by my side. every… every memory, every laugh. every inside joke. it was like a corny ass film playing at 2x speed in front of me. my mind kept telling itself this can’t be real. she wouldn’t do that to me’. but the longer we sat there and the harder she cried, i couldn’t take it. i jumped out of the car and just started running. i didn’t know where i was going but i just had to run because the car was so suffocating, i thought i was gonna pass out. and i kept asking myself ‘why her? why couldn’t she just talk to me? why didn’t she tell me she was hurting? does she know how much i love her and that i would do anything to keep her here?’ and then i was pissed because i thought you had abandoned me. that you didn’t care about me or your parents or my mom. but then… once i stopped running… i felt bad for you. because i could never imagine the amount of loneliness you must’ve felt thinking the only way to solve this was to end it all,” he said through his compendious recount of that night. i could feel the hurt and regret make its rounds in my heart, forcing my body to follow. it physically ached to hear hobi recall every moment of that night. “i’m sorry,” i cried out, crying into my hands.

“that’s why i hang out with you. that’s why i talk to you. because i don’t want you to feel that kind of loneliness ever again,” he admitted, sniffling. the hurt and regret only further festered and made me cry over hard to the point where i felt like i couldn’t breathe. hoseok stood from his spot, making his way around the island. he stood in front of me, pulling me into his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. i hadn’t hugged anyone in years, and the amount of care and love hoseok had emitted through his hug made me cry even more.

“and that’s why i’m so glad you have jungkook. because when i can’t be there, at least he is,” he explained, rubbing small circles in my back.

though my doubt was still heavy, and i felt as if he had an ulterior motive, hoseok’s words comforted me in a way.

jungkook had been nothing but kind, never intrusive or inquisitive about my history or my feelings. he spoke to me because he wanted me to know that he cared.

and for the first time in forever, i felt something else too.

hope.

[naoyatoudo]

i need to rant about how zzs was treated in shl hold on spoilers for the end of the drama

still pissed. i hate HATE HATE that zzs was shoved to the side and became the little side piece to wkx’s story of revenge. hello? he’s the MC. ZZS is the MC. WKX is the ML. this is not the wkx story this is the zzs story, literally, he is the main character. why does he just drop back into the background at some point, shoved into a corner, used only to make wkx look good? hello? how the fuck is it that he was captured and tortured for days but no one asks after him or shows much care when he comes back...........it just goes to wkx’s stupid plan that he DOESN’T TELL ZZS ABOUT? HELLO?

and after wkx “dies” no one even thinks to keep an eye on zzs despite him literally trying to commit suicide to follow after him before. how the fuck could they just leave him alone?? and then even when zcl and jby and wx learn about him taking out the nails they just are like. ok bye :) at least zcl cries but  THE FOCUS IS STILL ON WKX??????????? THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME OUTSIDE LIKE 5 MINUTES??? AND WKX OF COURSE HAS THIS WEIRD OOC MOMENT AND LIES TO ZZS AND ACTS LIKE ZZS DESERVES IT AS IF HE HASNT LIED TO ZZS MULTIPLE TIMES NEAR THE END DESPITE THE FACT THEY HAVE A WHOLE THING ABOUT NOT LYING TO EACH OTHER BUT WHATEVER. HAHA. WHO CARES RIGHT? AS LONG AS WKX LOOKS SYMPATHETIC AND GOOD! FUCK. IT’S SO OBVIOUS THE SCRIPTWRITER HAS A WKX BIAS IT MAKES ME FEEL ILL.

I’M SO ANGRYYYYYYY HOW ZZS WAS TREATED LIKE SHIT IN THIS. LIKE GREAT SO YOU TOOK AWAY HIS DECISION WITH HIS LIFE TO SACRIFICE YOUR OWN SO HE’D LIVE FOREVER AND TRAPPED ON A MOUNTAIN AND CAN ONLY EAT SNOW. ALONE. FOREVER. HOW KIND OF YOU. IT’S NOT LIKE YBY HAS A WHOLEEEEEEE EXTRA ABOUT HOW MISERABLE THAT IS OR ANYTHING IN THE NOVEL RIGHT? FUCK OFF. HOW DARE YOU DRAMA WKX.

NOT TO MENTION HOW THE COSTUMES AND MAKEUP WERE CLEARLY HIGHER QUALITY FOR WKX...LIKE REALLY? REALLY?????/ ASIDE THE NEW YEARS ONES IT’S SO STARK HOW MUCH MORE MONEY WENT INTO WKX’S LOOK. AND THE AMOUNT OF TIMES WE HAVE TO SEE THE SAME STUPIF FUCKING FLASHBACKS OF WKX YES I KNOW HIS PAST YES I GET IT I DONT NEED TO SEE IT EVERY EPISODE 3 TIMES.

THE NOVEL. IS ABOUT. ZZS. IT’S ABOUT HIM LEARNING TO MOVE ON AND SPEND HIS LIFE FREELY. WITH HIS OWN DECISIONS. AND BE HIMSELF. SINCE HE COULDN’T DO ANY OF THAT WHILE STUCK SERVING THE EMPEROR (PRINCE HERE, WHATEVER). AMAZING HOW WKX TAKES THAT AWAY FROM HIM AT THE END OF THE DRAMA AND IT’S PLAYED AS GOOD AND ROMANTIC. WKX’S REVENGE PLOT IS IN THE BACKGROUND AND IN THE END HE LITERALLY /LITERALLY/ CHOOSES TO LIVE SO HE CAN BE WITH ZZS. THERE IS NO SACRIFICE ON HIS PART. ZZS DOES NOT GET INVOLVED IN HIS SHIT EXCEPT TO SAVE HIM AT THE END. ZZS LITERALLY STATES WKX’S PLOTS ARE HIS OWN AND HE HAS NO RIGHT TO BUT IN IN THE NOVEL.

WHY DID YOU WRITE ZZS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHO HE IS? I GET CHANGING THINGS TO MAKE HIM PALATABLE FOR  A WIDER AUDIENCE BUT COME ON. AND HIS CRYING AND SIMPERING..LIKE..>???????????? EVEN THEN FINE. BUT THEN YOU TURN HIM INTO A SIDE PIECE WHO JUST IS THERE FOR WKX TO LOOK GOOD. I AM SSSSSO MAD AND I’M GLAD APPARENTLY CHINESE FANS ARE TOO (?) . he deserved better. he did not deserve to be cast aside so the limelight can be on wkx. i feel so bad for zzs and for his ACTOR because even with the actos everyone is soooo focused in wkx’s actor.

wkx’s actor did well don’t get me wrong, glad he is getting attention, but zzs’ actor did really well too.......ugh. the way people are so into wkx and just use zzs as a piece for him even in fics now..like whya re so many fics zzs crying over wkx dying or being a comfort for an upset wkx?? zzs is the one who is literally in pain every single day, was literally tortured and betrayed, lost EVERYONE from his sect, and the whole shit show with wkx’s fake death HE WASN’T TOLD WAS FAKE. SO HE HASTENED HIS DEATH. but no it’s all about wkx and wkx’s emotions right? fuck off.

i’m gonna write so much stuff for zzs. im gonna write jby noticing zzs is upset and confronting and comforting him. for a supposed best friend in the drama he didn’t do fucking much. idk why wx and jby were even there, in the novel they cure him but here they just. what give him medicine so he can live an extra week? wow great.

im so sad we didnt get to see all the things zzs thinks in the novel that show how affected he is by everything and how traumatized he is. i hate how they made his shizun this friendly father figure when he was a rough person who died and left everything for zzs to handle alone at FIFTEEN. i hate how they made zzs the prince’s cousin for NO FUCKING REASON when zzs was just some guy from a family in the jianghu who befriended the prince to help his sect survive.

why is it the series starts off well and with zzs as the mc and switches at some point to be the wkx show? i still like wkx but im so........disappointed. im so disappointed if my rants didnt say it enough ufbhvndskm, especially how the other characters dont notice how upset or pained zzs is at any point?? how the fuck did jby not??? amazingly zcl is the best with it...T__T

also why is it they fight constantly and even though zzs is literally right usually wkx is the sympathetic one and they never talk it through zzs just kind of goes back over to him and they act like normal?? hello??? yeah, uh, zzs was RIGHT. INNOCENT PEOPLE WERE LITERALLY BEING KILLED FOR WKX’S PLAN. YES ZZS WAS RIGHT. IT’S HIS LIFE IF HE WANTS TO JUST DIE FROM HIS WOUNDS AND NOT LOSE HIS MARTIAL ARTS HE CAN. does no one remember in the novel when wkx tries to destroy his martial arts zzs stops him with a “if anyone should understand, it’s you..” and wkx just stops and says “yes...i..i understand...” and respects zzs’ wishes???

what were their other stupid fights? oh yeah zzs again saying innocent people die and oh look he was right again. when wkx betrays zzs’ trust and does his fake death without telling him zzs doesnt even get mad at him. meanwhile wkx raged at him for choosing his own path in life that wkx didnt want...right, that’s good. then the fucking end with wkx saying it’s his turn to lie to zzs like he didnt before. i would punch wkx into the ground for that. fuck you asshole, are you kidding me with this shit??

also why did it take so long for zzs to realize who wkx is in the drama?? in the novel they figured each other out right away almost... why is zzs weaker physically and not as smart.. T_T and he took his disguise off earlier so the fangirls wouldnt have to deal with the “ugly” (wasnt even ugly) look...i know it would never have happened but i feel like wkx’s reaction to his real face was kind of understated. i’ve already said i dislike the shidi-shixiong thing but i do get why they did it so whatever.

im mostly mad about how zzs was picked up, slapped around, and thrown outside.........

scriptwriter why do you hate zzs.......?

[givemequeen]

I'm not here to attack you and hope that I don come off that way because honestly I've been pretty angry all the time lately but here's a bit of a full picture of why people are complaining, but first of saying "I'm so glad this is happening" absolutely makes me want to attack you, but I hope to have better self control than that. Listen, people are dying, people who are kind enough to do quarantine and self isolation which I assume you are so thanks, can't visit their loved ones who are dying(1

You maybe able to work from home but not everyone can do that, lots of places are closing to never open again. Lots of people are being fired. The situation of every country and their states/provinces/cities is different. Iran has someone dying of this every 10 minutes, Spain more than 2000 deaths, Italy much more. If you mean quarantine then I'm sorry I misinterpreted you. Still, it's worth to share since I've found people just DON'T CARE 

I don't blame my current mental state on the quarantine but yes on the lack of a possibility I had to get my meds, and other people with other mental health issues are having a rough time rn being quarantined, or people who love to go out are also having a rough time, so I thank everyone who is staying in their homes, they're allowed to complain, I think, as long as they do stay inside because that's helping dear anon and people of Tumblr,

im really sorry if offended anyone. i did not mean the coronavirus, that is truly something horrible. i am from Spain so i do know about all the deaths since my parents talking about it every five seconds, i do know how serious this is and know how lucky i am to have a big villa w/ a big backyard to walk around and stuff and that im no stuck in a small flat w/ no space. i do know how serious this is and there are people back home who are being affected by it. 

my sister’s Godfather (/my ‘adopted’ one, long story) who is my father’s long time best friend is in the hospital right now and my Godmother (who is also my mother’s aunt and they are very close) is very old and has high risk of dying from it if she does get infected. i know people are dying without their family members around them and/or dying because of lack of resources. my father talked about it during dinner, a person’s father who did in the hospital’s corridor because they could not treat him and he died alone.

i was not making fun of the situation. i do care, i care a lot. i was just glad i can stay home because im naturally an introvert and do not like socializing, especially school because of a long story. i prefer learning from home, in these two days i’ve learnt more than in the rest of the year (especially French. fuck u, psycho French teacher) and i would like to be home-schooled so this is perfect (staying home, not the reasons as to why we have to stay home).

i longer have to go out or make excuses to not go out. i can work/study from the comfort of my home, which i am very lucky to have (i know, my parents tell me every 5 seconds) and i know people do not have the luxury to do so (i also know since my parents tell me over and over again). i know people are being separated from family and have not spoken with anyone in weeks (example; my two cousins in Madrid) and i feel very sorry for everyone who has been negatively affected by the coronavirus or my comment.

i once again apologise and hope you can forgive me because i hate it when i upset people, especially on here ‘cause all of you seem wonderful. 

thank you, givemequeen

ps: why does it feel like im writing an essay? and i do care!! if anyone needs to talk about anything, message me!!

[adrienaline-rushed-art]

Can you do Marinette for next character ask/ml sugar pls?

Why I like them: Despite being immature in many ways— I guess by that, I mean her obsessive behavior, but really guys… she *just* turned 14. You know who else is 14? 1D fanfic writers (but more on that later)— in other ways, she’s more mature than adults. First, she’s self-aware, and she’s willing to take responsibility/humble herself when the time comes. Even though a lot of this is because Tikki guides her, it means a lot that she actually listens. I know so many adults that would rather be petty. 

And when I say self-aware I mean a lot of things. For one, she understands when she’s doing something… mm… not so great. Many of these things are for comic relief/exaggeration/situational comedy/slapstick (which is pretty much the extent small children get from it), but it’s still evident that she feels guilty or hesitant. 

does that look like the face of someone who’s comfortable with her own actions? 

Kids who watch heroes look for (and need) confidence and justice. Neither of which are happening in this scene or in some others, and from the kids that I know… they’re totally aware of it. Some might blatantly shout at Marinette as they watch her do something wrong, others might not say anything but… trust me they aren’t taking notes. 

The thing is, I’m glad she’s a main female character… who screws up…. a loT. The hero isn’t supposed to be perfect, and I mean that in a general way. Flat villains are perfect in their own realm, so I don’t think imperfect characters are only better for writing, they’re better people or can become better people. A perfect individual is a comfortable and consistent one, a person needs ups and downs to improve. 

It’s a bit like kim possible, except Marinette commits more errors because she’s younger and less adventurous… so in a way she’s a bit naive to the world (Kim Possible may as well be an ambassador, so she’s cultured and still makes really cringey mistakes eyes the wheelchair episode). We grew up watching her make these mistakes so we could see them get fixed, if they never happened we wouldn’t know for better or for worse. What’s more, it’s most important coming from the main character. So… I’m proud of her. 

Another thing is that she watches her own behavior in the future. She’s learning to trust that Adrien won’t fall for Lila’s gags, she’s learning to talk to him and move away from being a fan (bluntly pointed out in Troublemaker, she actually sees herself as more of a fan than as a friend. Yes, she was lying to cover herself, but she had pictures of all of her friends up… she didn’t use friendship as an excuse? And why did the excuse come to her so naturally? It might be obvious, but she gets flustered and doesn’t come up with good lies… honestly ‘because im a fan’ is pretty fair), and she’s learning how to treat Chat Noir. 

I would almost say in Season 1 that Ladybug was pretty flippant to Chat Noir, and I know it was cute at times but people usually behave this way with someone they feel close to already… so why didn’t she ever take the time to take him seriously? Ever since Glaciator, Ladybug has learned how sensitive he is. She didn’t judge him so quickly as to assume that he felt entitled to her, or that he was throwing a simple/unimportant tantrum that could be shrugged off. She took the time to read into the situation and see what exactly was going through his head. Emotions are never a joke, especially in a city where someone like Hawkmoth is a concern. She was cool and collected like a therapist, especially because she sympathized where his feelings were coming from (not too long before she had gotten upset with some ice cream man that was just doing his everyday thing and ditched her friends because she felt hopeless and betrayed by Adrien). Granted she never said anything against him, but she didn’t get forced into a situation where she had to confront him either. 

She also knew that reacting harshly would only make things worse, and then neither of them would get off from their high-horse. Compassion is what gets a person to reflect and feel respected. She looked him sincerely in the eyes and apologized, and she expected the same from him. She set the stage, and he responded. They ended up fine, and he even reacted well to the infamous ‘friendzone’, because well… he treasures friends too, and he didn’t know Ladybug considered him to be one. Ladybug was surprised, but now that she knew he had felt abandoned not only that night but since the beginning, she took note that he has trouble reading when a person cares about him deeply (and we all know he does, his love receptors are broken both in his household and as seen in the most recent ep). 

She is much softer with him now but very explicit. She doesn’t beat around the bush, she tells him exactly what he needs to hear. 

“Chat Noir! You know you’re irreplaceable.” 

Look at that face, he knows now that you said it. 

It’s actually quite motherly… I mean this is a perfect response. She adjusts to the needs of her friends accordingly rather than treating them equally, because friends don’t always need the same thing. Equity over equality. She’s an excellent example and so much more than the “Huff… I’m a strong independent woman and I don’t care about men and if anyone ever sasses me I’ll choke them. Also I don’t paint my nails, that’s for babies” You can be strong and independent without sacrificing any of these things. It’s not about making enemies, it’s about standing up for yourself— and those you care about. 

I could look for so many examples of how she looks out for her friends and makes sure to mind their feelings and experiences before getting all defensive, but that would be… the entire show. 

She’s imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Zombisou... and maybe Chameleon and Oniichan. She was angry about so many different things and had so much pressure on herself— including the fact that in each of these she had to protect/comfort/defend someone anyone else in their right mind would rather spit on. But Marinette is noble, she knows how to keep herself together when she needs to. When it comes down to it, the people she’s so angry with are human too. They have hearts with burdens of their own that she doesn’t even know about, if something were to happen to them she would care. She has the responsibility to keep them safe, but also she wants to. There’s a difference between a pain in the ass and a monster, and besides she isn’t the judge of the universe, it’s not her place to decide what someone gets and doesn’t get. Maybe they aren’t getting everything they deserve, but if every human being got what they deserved we’d all be struck dead by lightning. 

And she certainly doesn’t wish death upon them. And as we’ve all noted, whether it’s seen publically or not... what goes around comes around. 

Favorite season/movie: Season 2 wins again... for now, it aint over yet

Favorite line: Uhh... dang it this again... how about the one above? “You know you’re irreplaceable?” and every other uwu line she has. She is so soft hhuhhggn 

Favorite outfit: The cute lil maid outfit from Animaestro

OTP: Well it’s the same as what I put for Adrien, Marichat. For noncanon... mmm.. I think Kagaminette but Ninette is p damn close 

Brotp: I mean??? ALyanette duh. But you know since right now Ladynoir is technically platonic.... they’re pretty lit as bros too (marichat is too but so far fanon is the only place they’ve truly become bro bros) 

Headcanon: She wouldn’t have all of those pictures of Adrien if she felt even remotely close to him. I think those fics where she has photos up of Chat Noir should be canon, just like how she has ones of her friends, but she has soo many of Adrien which sets him apart from friendship like I said before. She’s insecure and taking advantage of the fact that he’s famous af, none of us can truly relate to having access to so many amazing photos of our crushes... and to sort of continue with the next question..

Unpopular opinion: These days a phone’s photobook may as well be a private wall to hang pictures on so really... Marinette is an exaggeration of exactly what people do— mostly young girls, which she happens to be— and hey get off of your crushes Instagram while you’re at it. It’s actually pretty normal, it’s not the best behavior but again, you need to have that cringey low to climb higher. And anyhow it’s all for the joke of it, no one is supposed to take these things seriously. But I’ll let you all know when my younger cousins start hanging up stalker photos of their noncelebrity crushes “because marinette did it so it must be ok” 

Honestly, not even the borderline ooc things are that bad. Like... they’re bad... but it’s a good thing to show, as in it’s not too horrendous to use as an example. It works because it’s so unrealistic, but with very real behaviors that kids need to address in themselves by watching Marinette. I would say some of her actions straddle between IC and OOC, not either-or. 

(WARNING: Do not read on if you have intensely strong feelings toward L/u/k/a to the point of sensitivity over any mild criticism as a character or as he is written. If you’re pretty chill reading anything then you’re fine, I didn’t say anything cruel I only gave an opinion as mildly as I could. The point of the honest opinion section is not to be salty but to express my point of view without insults)

Her crush on Adrien at this point in time is no more or less unhealthy than her crush with L/u/k/a— which is still unclear because for some reason In Silencer she still looked like she was on the brink of deciding she had a crush. She’s kind to L/u/k/a and he’s kind back, but she isn’t very nice. The difference is that it’s not very nice to ask someone on a date to spy on your main crush, it’s not very nice to indulge in the affection someone gives you as a chew toy while you wait for your crush and try avoiding the guy who is deeply in love with you and you sorta like him too. (He fell for her incredibly quickly and she did too despite feeling insulted by him moments before, unfortunately he’s a fallback she feels almost nothing for and she’s directing her ‘oh-no-feelings-for-someone-who-isnt-adrien’ chat noir attack to l/u/k/a because with him, she knows its easily uprooted).This goes back to the importance of not always being at your best behavior for a child audience to learn from you, but my unpopular opinion is that she and Adrien are not toxic and she and l/u/k/a are not a godsend. He’s also the equivalent of a High school sophomore dating an 8th grader? So... it’s kinda weird that he’s advancing? (I censored his name for the sake of avoiding conflict, I’m stating this for the unpopular opinion and I said it in as straight as I could because I don’t want salt to touch this. I respect L/u/k/a as a character, he’s a good boy. I’m disagreeing and agreeing to disagree by trying not to engage.) 

Wish: Please, let her find out Chat Noir’s identity first... I beg you. 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Except don’t let the reveal happen right after one of them is rejected... that... that would be really bad. 

5 words to best describe them: Noble, responsible, creative, strong, kind

 My nickname for them: I like Marigold and Shortcake, I’ve used them in fics and I cry

anyway she’s one of the best protags don’t @ me when I have kids they’ll be watching her and adrien and they will be who they’re raised on

[plounce]

im like. not even into cr (i fell off the wagon and then was too upset about molly to catch up) but like. your spn au. is Incredible, like. the catholic guilt... the pining... molly as an angel, falling and still resplendent and charming and proud... beaus bde (big dyke energy). etc. i dont have any specific questions or anything please just use this ask as an excuse to continue going off.

THANK YOU YOU ARE TOO SWEET...that’s what happened with half my friends tbh you are valid. i still watch because i’m devoted to caduceus and beau, but that’s me. 

you have immediately caught my attention by mentioning “catholic guilt” which is a favorite character trait of mine to stick onto caleb. i imagine that trent was from the school of hunter who put a lot of stock into old christian remedies to things

[this got LONG so this is a READ MORE]

ok digression now that im thinking about this universe. i imagine there’s a few broad schools of thought within hunters, because theres a lot of methods that work but theres a lot of superstition among individuals/families about which ones work best, why they work, how they should be performed. there’s ones who have a more christian bent, there’s ones who are very no-nonsense silver-and-salt (just stick to the standard materials and don’t use a lot of bullshit), there’s ones who dip into witchcraft here and there, and those who use whatever they can and hope it works. some of these get passed on by families or mentors - some people fall into hunting from The Outside and use what they find.

beau was raised in a no-nonsense family. they’ve been hunters going back generations and generations, tough men who are strong and are capable of fighting evil and uphold family traditions. LOTS of hypermasculinity and patriotism etc. conservative. lots of military. beau being a girl was a disappointment to them because [misogyny], but when she got older it was more her disobedience. you listen to your father and uncles on hunts, but beau listens to her gut, and even if she saves the day she’d get punished.

she’s good at hunting, which infuriates her (she hates that she’s one of the family, but she also hates that her family keeps her from helping others to her fullest potential) - but mostly she just hated the control. she hated the stifling, how she could never be anything but a lionett. she ran away and lived in anonymity for two years before caleb found her and begged for her help. but even now, when it’s her and caleb and she’s with him and not with them - she still gets recognized by other hunters as the lionett girl. tell your uncle steve he owes me a beer, wontcha sweetheart?

she hates it. can’t stand it. it’s even worse when she runs into her family and they either get pissed about her huge dykey look or tell her glad you finally found a man to carry on the family line. sometimes caleb tries to stop her from punching out a cousin’s lights, but some nights he just quietly retires to the car to wait for her to need a quick getaway.

caleb, meanwhile, was brought into hunting by trent, who was never clear about how he got into hunting but he was so knowledgeable and wise that caleb never thought to ask. his family home was burned down by demons possessing his parents (they made deals with devils, trent tells him, brought that evil into your home. we must fight to protect the innocent from the weakness of the wicked.) (he is lying, but caleb doesn’t know that. he’s only ten years old. it’ll take 17 more years for him to learn the truth.)

trent rescued him and told him secrets, and caleb was born drinking down all the knowledge he could get his hands on. astrid and eodwulf were already with trent when he was picked up, and they were his little disciples, doing research and sweetly manipulating witnesses into spilling their hearts while trent did the dirtier work. that changed when caleb was 13, and he and astrid and eodwulf dug up a grave as trent fought a ghost, and caleb lit the match to set the corpse alight. trent was so proud of him, told him he could trust him, and started taking him on hunts after that. astrid and eodwulf were so jealous, but caleb was jealous when astrid got firearm training first and when eodwulf got to learn how to drive their van. it was his turn to be the favored student.

trent was very catholic. rosaries, latin, silver in shapes of crosses, holy water up each sleeve. a prayer muttered whenever there was a spare breath. stop in a church every sunday they can. confess your sins to your father, since we’re nowhere near an actual priest. (trent knows a lot about caleb.)

caleb starts the “show” at age 25. when he was 22, eodwulf disobeyed during a hunt, and he was tersely given supplies and sent off on a hunt on the other side of the state. caleb doesn’t know if eodwulf couldn’t find his way back to them or if he abandoned them, and trent told him not to think of him, but caleb kept graffitting the three of them’s secret codesymbol whenever the thought crossed his mind. i’m still here, wulf. i thought of you here in this rest stop. i hope you are okay.

when he was 23 and a half, trent sent astrid to represent him at a hunter gathering. find out what you can. report back to me when you are able. i picked you for this, do not fail me. you can be independent. go in strength. caleb was so achingly jealous that trent trusted her for this and not him, but then trent told him my loyalest student. my favorite. you are the one to stay by my side. i trust you will live up to this regard. and the sting soothed.

when he was 24 or so, trent sent him to investigate a disappearance in a neighboring county that might’ve been linked to their current hunt. when caleb came back, trent was gone. after a month of combing over their motel room and the surrounding area for any clues, caleb decided to himself that this was another test, and he must continue on as normal. be independent. a strong young man. a warrior for christ against evil. and he kept his chin up and did his best. until he couldn’t do it alone anymore (weak weak weak) and he dragged himself to beau’s doorstep.

(i do want to say here that when things finally shake out with astrid and eodwulf, it is eodwulf who is the treacherous trent supporter and astrid who is the one who is a little bit... uncomfortable with beau’s general dykery bc she is catholic but is all-around ok. she’s like it was good to see you again caleb, it is good to see that you’ve become a good, honest man, and that you have a better sister than i ever was to you. go in peace. it’s all very healing and good. it’s not perfect, but it’s some amount of closure. that trent and his manipulation and abuse and demon deals haven’t condemned caleb to being completely horrible.) (also there is NO astrid/caleb romance here obv)

when caleb finally gets comfortable around molly The Angel Of The Lord he starts tentatively peppering him with questions about the faith. a lot of the stuff he learned from trent was wrong. molly was never really a “faith enforcer” angel anyway, but he’s just so confused that caleb is so hung up on so much stuff, when the whole thing is about love? (it’s... different for humans than for angels, yasha eventually tells them. humans can get second tries. that is why i am often very jealous of you all, yasha says, looking somewhere far away.)

honestly caleb and molly are very “i love everybody because i love you” in this au which is extremely valid. finding love in others to find love in the world to find love in others etc etc - yes, this is my les mis past speaking, and it is smart and correct. “revolution is an act of love” etc etc.

also i hate having to draw beau’s super short hair because i have limitations but im SO pleased with that design, i think it really fits the vibe. beau with her crew cut and caleb with his hair he never bothers cutting and both of them in flannels. hell YES

[shootinglesbian]

i’m glad

Summary: Logan and Patton comforting their over-tired boys, Patton and Virgil.

Word count: 907

Pairings: Logince

Warnings: not much, I think. Some panic-attacky stuff?

A/N: Ok so this is just something I wrote over winter break. It’s based off my younger cousins, who I love to pieces. Hey um, @nottodaylogic helped me out a little! Also they’re great, go check out their blog!

—

“You have arrived at your destination,” Roman said in a Siri voice, smiling at Logan. “We’ve made it.”

Logan looked back to Patton and Virgil. “And the boys fell asleep.”

“And you didn’t fall asleep.” Roman pulled his jacket on. “I’ll go check in.”

“You don’t have to. I’ll go.”

Roman took Logan’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Sweetheart, you’re exhausted. You just stay here for now and then we can go in with the boys.”

Logan yawned. “All right. Thank you, Roman.”

“Anytime.” He kissed Logan’s cheek. “Be right back.”

—

“Here we are,” Roman murmured to a stirring Virgil. “We’re here now, in our room, and you can get into bed and go to sleep.”

“Sleep,” Virgil said, his voice soft with exhaustion.

“Exactly, honey.” He laid Virgil down on the bed, pulling the blankets over him. “Here we are. Sleep now.” He kissed his son’s forehead. “Love you.”

Roman moved to the little bedroom that he and Logan would sleep in, pulling on a sleep shirt and some flannel pants. Logan came into the room.

“Patton go down well?”

“Yeah, I think they’re both asleep now,” Logan said.

“Good.” Roman held his arms out. “Kiss?”

“How could I say no?” And then Logan was in his arms, warm, sharp, safe, and kissing him.

“We should go to bed,” Roman suggested against Logan’s lips.

“You should be quiet.”

Roman laughed softly, pressing up closer to his husband. “Love you.”

“Love—” Logan stopped, a cry interrupting him. “Lemme go check on the boys.”

“No, no, I’ve got it.” Roman pulled away. “You rest, okay? I’ll just be a minute.”

“You sure?”

He kissed Logan softly. “‘M sure.” Roman left the little bedroom to see Virgil crying, his arms tight around his legs, his knees pulled up to his chest.

Ask him to breathe, Roman heard Logan’s voice saying. Reassure him that he’s okay and that you are there.

He stepped to the bed, slowly sitting down next to his son. “Virgil, shh, breathe. Take a deep breath. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m right here.”

Ask if you can touch him.

“Virgil? Can I put my hand on your back?”

Virgil jerked his head to the side.

Continue asking him to breathe. Four. Seven. Eight.

“All right. Deep breaths. Breathe in for four. Here we go: one, two, three, four.”

But Virgil had released a breath on two.

“I know you’re upset, Virgil. It’s okay. Just breathe, and we can try to figure out a solution,” Roman said. “Okay, let’s breathe. One, two, three, four.”

There was a cry, one from behind him, and the bed shifted as Patton rolled over.

“Dad.”

“Patton, it’s okay.” Roman raised his voice slightly. “Logan, can you come out here?”

Logan came out of the room, pulling Patton into his arms.

Roman turned his attention back to Virgil. “Slow breaths. Let’s breathe in. One, two, three, four. Good job. Now hold.”

Roman continued like this for a few more minutes while Virgil’s breaths evened out and his tears stopped.

“Do you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“I—where are we?” Virgil asked.

“We’re at the hotel now. We were in the car, driving, remember? You fell asleep, and now we’re in our hotel room.”

“What about Patton?”

“He’ll be okay.” Roman rubbed his hand over his face. “Can you go to sleep now?”

Virgil laid down. “Thanks for coming to help me, Roman.”

“Of course, Virgil, that’s what parents do.” He leaned down, kissing Virgil’s forehead. “Sleep well. I love you.” Roman moved to stand behind Logan, resting a hand light between his shoulders. Logan seemed to lean back into his touch.

“I’m tired,” Patton cried. “I’m sad.”

“Why are you sad, Patton?” Logan asked, his voice so gentle.

“I’m just sad.”

“It’s all right to be sad sometimes.”

Patton sniffled.

“Is there something troubling you? I could help you find a solution to your problem.”

The voice Logan was using was so sweet, so gentle, and the way he talked to Patton had Roman falling deeper in love. How had he gotten Logan to marry him?

“I’m tired.”

“Perhaps you should try to sleep, Patton,” Logan said. “Why don’t you lay down now?”

“Yeah, okay.” Patton curled into the blankets. “‘Night, Dad.”

Logan leaned down, kissing Patton’s forehead. “Goodnight.” He stood up, taking Roman’s hand, squeezing it.

It said thank you. Thank you for being there with me. Thank you for helping Virgil. Thank you for all that you do.

Roman squeezed back.

—

Roman pulled Logan against him, snuggling closer under the blankets. “You’re so gentle with the boys.”

“They are children, and I am their parent. It is how I am supposed to treat them,” Logan murmured, kissing Roman’s cheek.

“No, I just mean… it’s sweet. I love seeing you like that.”

“You are sweet with them as well. You were good with Virgil tonight.”

“It was your voice in my head, guiding me through helping him,” Roman said. “Did you know that Virgil thanked me for coming out there?”

“It makes sense; he’s said that his parents weren’t very supportive.”

The thought that someone could possibly want to hurt Virgil made Roman’s stomach twist with anger. “It’s sad. He’s such a smart, caring child.”

“I’m glad we adopted both of those kids.”

“I’m glad that you’re the one I’m raising them with.”

“I love you too.” Logan kissed him softly. “Goodnight, dearest.”

“‘Night, my love.”

[choisgirls]

Hoi! I mean hi! So ummmmm idk if ur still doing requests but....* is shy for no reason ahdnfn* could you do a rfa+V+ Saeran wrap ( yes I call him that) where mc has a service dog because they have ptsd or something like that...???

A/N: Hi love! Sorry ittook so long, but no need to be shy! You’re free to stop by any time~ I’ll domy best here. I’ve never experienced PTSD /myself/ so I did some research andtook what I knew from previous psych and health classes, but still felt if Iwere to… attempt to reference PTSD itself, I wouldn’t have represented it sowell ^^;;; so im sorry it’s a little vague there, i went more for how they’d react to the dog!! But i hope this is okay!!

(and no worries, iused to call saeran that all the time~)

Masterlist~

*YOOSUNG:

               -He honestly thought you justreally liked your dog and wanted to bring it along

               -But if you’re comfortableenough to tell him, “Hey, this is my service dog” he’ll freak out

               -Because!!! He didn’t know!!!He’s been trying to pet the dog this whole time and your baby was just tryingto do its job, MC, he’s so sorry

               -Out of all of them though, yourdog is the safest in his hands

               -??? He’s in school to be a vet,of course your baby is safest in his hands

               -Not to mention, he was aroundhis cousin when she had a dog she relied on for support and help as well, sohe’s actually really glad you have your service pup because he knows how muchof a difference they can make

*ZEN:

               -When you tell him that yousuffer from something like PTSD, he’s immediately concerned for you. Are youalright? What can he do to help you through the harder times?

               -Extremely relieved to hear youhave a companion- questioned once if it was another man and was only 73%joking.

               -Was nervous at first because?If it’s a pet he really hopes it isn’t a cat… he’d try to suffer through hisallergy but knows he wouldn’t be able to. But you would’ve told him in thebeginning that you had a cat… wouldn’t you have?

               -Upon finding out you have adog, he’s head over heels. He can see how much the dog cares about you and howstrong they are. Respects that they’re so professional

               -But you have to scold him everynow and then when he’s spoiling the dog. Yes love and care is always needed foryour service dog but giving them too many treats is bad, Zen, stop

               -Hey if you need your dog towork out, ya know, he can take them on jogs with him. Totally not because hewants to test his endurance against your dogs. Nope, not at all

 *JAEHEE:

               -Honestly surprised by yourservice dog?

               -She isn’t afraid of dogs persay but sometimes she’s wary of them. The smaller they are, the meaner theyare. “They have less space to diffuse their anger, MC.”

               -When she first met your servicedog and they stood at attention she just stared at them, engaging in a staringcontest. She whispered to you, “Can they sense fear???”

               -A long conversation and lots ofcomforting touches later, she realized why you need the comfort of your servicedog and see’s them in a completely new light

               -Knew dogs were a humans bestfriend but didn’t know that they could be this reliable and understanding

               -Actually goes to your dog whenshe’s upset as well, but is sure never to overwhelm them because you are theirmain priority always and refuses to upset either of you

*JUMIN:

               -He was pretty much against thedog because? What if it hurts his dear Elizabeth? He would never accept that

               -Unless you tell him that, uh,you kinda need your baby. They’re your service dog and they help you out witheveryday life sometimes

               -Then he’ll offer to sit downand talk it out with you

               -Because in a way, Elizabethbecame a sort of therapy cat of his own, so hearing how your dog helps youthrough things like PTSD, he’ll come up with something the two of you couldwork out.

               -Honestly though? Your dog isn’tgoing to harm Elizabeth and once he observes them for a while and realizesthat, he’ll actually grow to enjoy your dogs company

               -Says he doesn’t, but he spoilsyour dog when you aren’t looking. He’ll give them belly rubs, expensive collarsand vests, and he definitely makes sure they’re allowed into everywhere you go-if they weren’t allowed before, they are now

*SAEYOUNG:

               -Honestly when you tell him he’sbasically like “Yeah, that’s okay, no problem MC! I like dogs!” You’vegone through some heavy stuff, if your dog helps you then of /COURSE/ he’s okaywith it. Tries to be calm, cool, collected, c h i l l. But it changes when heactually meets your dog.

               -He’s created a whole new socialmedia following for them. Their Instagram is full of amazing pictures of themlooking majestic, strong, and at attention- ya know, working.

               -Doesn’t try to distract yourdog at all, just admires him from afar and loves to watch the two of youinteract

               -Though sometimes he /does/ usesome of his agent training to see if he can sneak around and get close to you-kind of like testing your dog. “I’m training them to be even better,MC!”

               -You admit that it is prettyfunny to watch him dangle from on top of the bookshelf to give you a kiss whileyour dog furiously barks at him to get down and away from you

               -10/10 supporter of dressing upyour dog. They are his cosplay buddy and he’s very happy. It’s not taking themaway from their job, MC! They’re just dressed up! It’s okay!

 *JIHYUN:

               -Thrilled!

               -Jumin tried multiple times whenJihyun was having eyesight troubles to get a service dog to help him out, andat one point he seriously considered it

               -So he’s done research on how totreat them, care for them, things of the sort and will remember all of that sohe can interact correctly with your dog!

               -Respects his distance and letsyour dog get used to him before ever petting him or even ghosting his fingersover any part of you.

               -Forgot once and hugged you frombehind- you were alright with it because you heard him walk up but your servicedog blew up. Constant barking, pulling on his pants leg, trying to get inbetween the two of you. You thought it was funny but Jihyun didn’t walk upbehind the two of you for a few weeks

               -Loves your service dog andloves how much love they have for you, instantly accepts them as part of yourlittle family- he can trust them to take care of you when he’s away

 *SAERAN:

               -You’ve been through some stuff,he’s been through some stuff too- respects that you may need some help withdealing with it all, so he’s totally okay with your dog. Wants to fightwhatever haunts you though

               -Honestly, I can see the /dog/being the one to initiate the relationship with Saeran

               -Because they’re trained tosense the negative emotions and distress in people, so of course they couldsense Saeran’s

               -But obviously they’re trainedfor you and you’re their main priority, so he kind of just pushes the dog awayfrom him because??? Leave me alone?? You’re MC’s?? Take care of them??

               -Tries to pretend that hedoesn’t like their attention, but he does. When they jump up and lay next tohim, head in his lap, he can’t help but scratch behind their ear and ithonestly is relaxing but he won’t tell you

               -THE DOG TAKES YOUR PLACE IN THEBED SOMETIMES. If you come to bed late, your dog’s laying there instead.They’re cuddling. Neither of them move. What little bitches

[yenni19]

Chapter 19

Sarutobi and Akamari clean up after having breakfast, Mariana is next to the couch making sure Omari is still alive

Mariana(smiling): I did not know you felt that way about me Omari, its kind of cute though

Suddenly Omari wakes up

Omari: what happened....where am..

Mariana(close to his face): are you alright Omari?

Omari(backing away as he blushes): Mariana hi....you are here....I mean I'm sorry!

Mariana(smiling): its ok...we all have drawbacks...um....do you want to go on a date with me Omari?

Omari(studdering): oh....umm....yeah...I-I-I mean s-s-s-sure I would l-l-love to

Mariana: ok I'll come by tomorrow and we will go on a date ok?

Omari: ummm.......y-y-yeah c-c-cool

She excuses herself and goes home, Omari red as a tomato dazes off

Omari(smiling): she said date....she wants to date me....she likes me....she really likes me

Sarutobi grabs Akamari's hand and takes her upstairs, they both go in his room and he locks the door

Sarutobi(serching in his things for her birthday present): here I've wanted to give this to you since your dad broke the first one i made you

Akamari(opening the present): Oh my goodness.....its the time I met up with you at Senju park and I was reading to you....because you were angry with your dad....you told me my lap was the most comforting place for you....you even managed to detail the big oak tree we were sitting under as the shade kept us cool that day

Sarutobi: I sculpted it....because for the first time I saw a genuine look of affection towards me that you never gave anyone else.....you even smiled as you carressed my hair as if you were putting me to sleep....I've never felt that type of peace in my life......um....can we recreate it....Akamari.....just this once

Akamari: but its a wood floor....

Sarutobi grabs a large pillow and places it on the floor he places Akamari on top of the pillow recreating her sitting position of that summer, Sarutobi then proceeeds to lay on her lap looking at Akamari as she puts her hand in his hair

Sarutobi(smiling): it feels comforting....the way you care for me

Akamari(smiling): I'm glad i can comfort you when you feel upset

Sarutobi(laying on his side): you make me want to stay like this forever.....forgetting everything going on and just stay frozen in time like this

Akamari(blushing): do I.....really....make you feel comfortable....Sarutobi?

Sarutobi(turning to face her): yeah you do...(realizing shes blushing, he places a hand on her face) don't worry Akamari I won't do anything you wouldn't feel comfortable with ok (smiles) but I do like this side of you...its interesring to see after missing you for so long

Akamari: thank you Sarutobi....and to be honest I've missed you terribly....I was always wondering if you had forgotten me....and it angered me and made me jealous honestly....

Sarutobi sits up and kisses her for a long moment, he then releases her

Sarutobi(blushing): sorry but the first kiss didnt count because I was caught off guard. But this one was a genuine one directly from me....because this person matters to me and I want her to know that....

Akamari(kissing him and releasing him): you matter to me too Sarutobi....even if you are younger than me....and even if our father forbids it.....but deep down I am scared of feeling guilty and judged by those who care for me (crying) to be honest im in love with my half brother and it makes me feel guilty

Sarutobi hugs her tightly, he then looks at her with a comforting smile

Sarutobi(wiping her tears): I love you too Akamari....I still do....but I won't force my love on you unless you are willing to let me....im not the type to take advantage of someone who's vulnerable at the moment

Akamari: I know....thats why i fell in love with you...you are so patient and kind....you are like your mother...which is a shocker to me you are restraining yourself (notices a bulge in his pants as she hugs him) oh um...Sarutobi...are you...

Sarutobi(pulling away as he turns around not facing her): I think its time you go before I lose control and take advantage of you

Akamari turns to leave but is unwilling to go, she walks up to him and tugs on his shirt

Akamari(blushing): I don't want to go.....Sarutobi.....I want to physically know how much.....how much you love me

He turns around and walks towards her, Akamari is backing up until she touches the doorframe

Sarutobi: do you....do you really want to know how much I love you?

Akamari: I know its wrong to say this....but....I...I do....I want to physically know you....as a man....Sarutobi

Sarutobi(closing the distance): fine (taking off her shirt and kissing her neck) just kissing you there as you tremble is more than enough for you to even want to (he pulls away and Akamari grabs his shirt) let go of...

Akamari(facing him): dont stop....please....just continue

Sarutobi: not if you are sc...

Akamari: I'm not scared....its just I've never had an exoerience like this...and I've rather it be you than anyone else touching me right now

Sarutobi continues touching her, he feels her breast as he leans to kiss it, he moves downward kissing her stomach, when he reaches the bottom half he gently takes off her bottoms and reveals a lace underwear, he starts at her inner thigh and kisses it

Akamari(jolting and moaning): Sarutobi....I'm sensitive there....

Sarutobi: I know...your even shaking from one kiss...how many more before you cant take it anymore

He kisses the other inner thigh

Akamari(carresing his hair): why do you make me feel this way...

Sarutobi(kissing her thigh): because you want me...you want what you cant have...even if it scares you

He lifts her up on his lap, she feels his bulge sticking out and Akamari gasps

Akamari: wait....we can't....im not ready...

Sarutobi: I promise it wont go farther than this...I'll be patient about it....you trust me don't you?

Akamari: yeah...I do...I trust you

He removes a bra strap and kisses her shoulder, and she starts rubbing against his hard shaft, while they lose themselves in the moment Omari knocks loudly on the door

Both(startled): yes who is it?

Omari(on the otherside of the door): why the hell you two taking so long...what is this the reunion of family greetings...lets get going I got a date....Akamari you are the one with a car I need you to go take me to the mall for a present for Mariana's date tonight....lets go don't have me waiting too long!

Sarutobi lifts Akamari off him and hands her her clothes, Sarutobi waits until she is dressed to open the door, Omari notices a hickey on Sarutobi's neck

Sarutobi(closing his bedroom door): we are ready to go....

Omari(irritated): I dont care.....lets just go....we are going to the mall for a present nothing else....is that alright with you lover boy

Sarutobi(confused): lover boy?

Akamari(glaring): stop it Omari...thats enough your getting annoying!

Omari: whatever lets go....before the mall closes...I don't want to go on a date without a present...I would look stupid if i don't get her anything if she got me something

They go to the mall, once there they head to a jewlery store, Akamari is distracted as Omari pulls Sarutobi alone with him

Sarutobi(cofused): what the....why are you...

Omari(irritated): you mind telling me why the hell you have a love mark on your fuckin neck!?

Sarutobi: what are you imply....

Omari turns him around facing a mirror, then Sarutobi realizes Akamari left him a hickey on the lower right side of his neck

Sarutobi: wait I can explain this....

Omari: don't cross that line Sarutobi....you'll only get hurt in the end.....remember she's your half sister.....no matter how much you want what you can't have it will be a regret for both of you

Sarutobi: how do you know....you were in my shoes once weren't you?

Omari: yeah....I used to be you but it was my adopted cousin....and in the end we were too late to realize that we hurt others by the actions we took (face to face) its just a nasty desire Sarutobi...one you must ignore....dont taste forbidden fruit that will cause a consequence later

[iesharael-blog]

Darksouls - 3/16/19

my ex had given me his games to play via steam link back in February and ive been loving darksouls 3 so much that someone bought me my own copy. last week me and him started talking again after he stayed with me during an anxiety attack. heres the highlights:

-I wanted a day a week where we’d catch up just to stay in contact: weve talked every day and other than the past I think 3 days I wouldn't talk unless he initiated and I didn't pry when he would stop answering

-he warned me that he “plays by extremes and very black and white” (I know) and that he will be cold to me:I understood but somethings he said after that hurt... including when I asked about hanging out in person in the future and a fair I want an excuse to go to (months from now) exerpt - 

me

my brain is like hoping for cecil county fair but i have no clue. no clue how even playing together will go

him

Pft you can go ahead and cut that one right out

me

cut out the fair? | thats like months away | also less of a i wanna hang with you and more of a i love the fair when it comes to that one lol | but i probs have work alot that week so meh

him

Hey man you make plans to go to the fairI just wont be joining

me

lol | alright | im guessing youre not a fan | im semi offended considering most of my family work at it and i think my uncle [name] runs it

him

Never been, i'm just not going to the fair with an ex, ya know?

me

i mean the plan would be that its a small group

him

Nope

me

im just not allowed (and honestly wouldnt) to go alone | i understand man

him

Don't know your peeps | Im good 

like ok cool. you were perfectly fine until this day (we started talking again 3/6/19 and this was 3/13/19) and suddenly hes just cold? 

after this I asked about what do friends do to hang out. I clarified I asked cause I only hanged out at friends houses and I was honestly curious... he shut me down and said he didn't plan to see me in person any time soon so the topic was irrelevant. then some idle chat and around 7:30 pm he said something like he was glad we were gonna play darksouls cause hes been itching to play it.the next day was the day we were supposed to play darksouls together as we planned... 

so im getting sadder and sadder thinking a bunch of scenarios and becoming super anxious. “what if hes testing me to see if I keep messaging him cause that means I probably like him? what if if I keep messaging he gets annoyed with me and doesn't want to talk ever again and blocks me? what if something happened to him??? what if I upset him last night by stopping responding????”

finally I get and answer in the form of “Im sorry im not sure if i'll be on or not. I have work shit that's going on and has bled ovee unto my night |  I'm sorry | I was really looking forward to this”

gone was the cold. there was the man I remembered in those few lines. apologetic and kind. it felt like all this time id been talking to someone else as he lays his heart out giving me a few details about what happened at work and telling me he will send me the hr report without me even asking. I was his confidant and comfort again. then came that humor I love so much as he asks me for a third toppign for his pizza and I suggest m&ms (yes I eat it like that) and he laughs and calls me pregnant then cheers when I say im not. the next morning he sent me the report and we talk about it a bit, that was Friday aka yesterday. we didn't talk the rest of the day after that cause I knew he had work and darksouls and didn't want to add to his stress. 

today around my lunch break I checked in on him knowing he was in class but also that he tends to go on his phone during. roughly 3.25 hours later he messages back saying he chilling and tired and we joke about my sleeping habits cause I haven't slept since monday night. he stops responding after a few messages so I assume this teacher doesn't let him have his phoen in class.

when I was sure he was home I messaged again and asked about playing darksouls. he said “lets give it a go” and 20 mins later we get in call. now a brief description of us playing

started a call Today at 7:17 PM 

discussion of levels and such and me asking a few questions about if I should grab some stuff from the shrine

trouble getting his summon sign to show up

we start fighting things and he tells me I shouldn't use my shield (pyro class) then starts fighting an enemy I usually killed before he went big 

comment like (oh I forgot youre cheep pyromancer) as I start throwing fire at it

he dies cause cleric class trying to tank at level 7

he tells me he doesn't really feel it today and that hes sorry and gets off

I am upset but at least while we were dealing with the summons ign stuff I got a chuckle out of him when I mentioned factorio. I understand why he didn't feel like laying after everything that's been going on but I guess I was just hoping to spend time with him in voice cause it makes me happy and im really stressed rn too. ill try again next week maybe but for now im going to give him space until he contacts me. I want to be as supportive to him as I can be all the time cause I love him.

side note I now have a new cut on my leg. its small and oblong but as wide as dime no more in its long way. not nearly as deep as the others. I got upset cause I caused my parents to argue simply cause I wanted snack wraps after church and my dad went the wrong way to get them. mother apologized to me but I will never let her know about this cut. ive gotten cut by shampoo bottles before and I wont have and chance for her to see it till summer anyway and even then that's only if I go to a pool and I hate public pools. im just gonna pass it off as a shampoo inflicted cut that I picked at and hope she doesn't see it till its a lot smaller. but I also got back in touch with the cousin I thought I lost and im thinking of trying to write some fanfics or something idk. my mind is mostly focused on my ex

[datingadviceonreddit]

Hello everybody, first time posting in this thread and am only doing so because I don't know who else I can turn to for advice - so please, be gentle; no hurtful or negative emotions or comments here please.I really need some help here guys & girls, I don't want to lose this girl because she means the world to me.Backstory:My girlfriend and I started dating a few months before the end of grade 12 in High School. Lets call her Rachel. Before we started dating, she had been dating a friend of mine who lived interstate and whom I used to race bicycles with. Lets call him Charles. Charles is 3-4 years older than me.For the better part of the last 2 years of my time at high school, I had developed an insanely huge crush on Rachel. I drove to a party down the coast one evening early in the year with my cousin and surprise surprise, Rachel was there. We started talking that night and I was flirting a lot with her (because I thought she was single), when all of a sudden the topic of Charles came up and she told me they were dating (they met as a result of a funny tinder prank, can you believe it). Initially, this didn't phase me too much. I was still good friends with Charles and I was glad Rachel was with somebody who I knew was kind and caring.Anyway, so after a bit more talking that night, I politely excused myself from Rachel's company and sought out some of my other friends. Whilst just sitting, drinking and talking with a heap of my guy friends, this one bloke whom I went to school with bursted into the middle of our group and bragged about how he had just hooked up with Rachel. This was true, and I felt both hurt and ashamed of Rachel for she was still Dating Charles at the time and had seemed like a sensible, loyal sort of girl. How wrong I had been.I slept that night at the party with a stomach of jealousy and guilt for knowing what Rachel had done that night. I was deeply in love with Rachel, however she had cheated on her current boyfriend with somebody else she used to go to school with, and in my books that is a big no no. So I let my feelings subside, for a while.Fast forward to halfway through year 12 and Rachel and I have become great friends at school. We enjoyed each others company, studied together, meet up for coffee after school and just relish the chance to be with one another. On some level, I guess we were flirting our deep emotions for one another.Rachel invites me to her 18th birthday party in town one evening, I felt extremely lucky and proud to be invited because only 5 or 6 people got to go, including her boyfriend, Charles.Some point along the line before her 18th Birthday, Rachel told Charles about her cheating on him at that party down the coast earlier in the year, and you could tell he knew about it by the look on his face the entire night, he was being super obsessive about her and not wanting her to have any fun with anybody whilst she was out. A couple of times throughout the night, Rachel asked me for advice on what she should do; should she stay with Charles, should she break up, what should she do? I gave her polite advice like anybody would (not swaying her one way or another) and left town to go home and sleep not long after.A couple of weeks later, Rachel sends me a message telling me that her and Charles broke up. I'm not sure why she chose to tell me about this, my only thought being that she had feelings for me at the time and wanted me to be there for her. And I was.We started hanging out even more, enjoying and growing on each other more and more everyday... leading up to one night. Rachel and I both went to an end of school party the day after we graduated, and she kept insisting I had to meet her there and hang out. As soon as I finished pre-drinks with my friends, I raced with them to the venue and took Rachel by the hand and led her outside, confessed how I felt about her, and said that she didn't have to say anything in return - I just wanted her to finally know how I had felt about her all these years. She told me she felt the same, we kissed, practically spent the rest of the night together partying, then I told her I was going home. She told me she wanted to stay with me because she was still a bit upset, and so I brought her home. I said to her on the way, "you can share my bed. I promise I won't try and make a move on you, Im here for you as a friend though". She said yes yes, and we got home and hopped into bed. Next thing I know, we were hooking up and slept in each others arms all night.After this night Rachel and I started dating. Obsessed over each other, out honeymoon phase of the relationship was blissful and amazing. I thought it would never end.Current day:Rachel and I have been dating now for roughly one and a half years, I'm good friends with all of her family members and absolutely adore her parents, and I've been on a family holiday with them all overseas for 2 weeks. Rachel recently moved back home to take a new job in her hometown, which is roughly an hour drive from where I live in the city. The night before she moved back home we were laying in bed at her sister's house in the city, and she was crying and telling me she hated that we met so early in life, because there are so many goals she wants to accomplish and so many things she wants to experience around the world such as travel and festivals, but that she can't imagine her life without me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I didn't know what to make of this conversation (although I think deep down I knew where it was headed eventually), so I tried to comfort her and hold her, and we fell asleep spooning each other content and happy (or so I thought).Ever since moving back home, she has been quite, teary, only ever briefly responding to my texts and calls, asking me what I think about our relationship... everything I dreaded I would one day hear her say. Recently she has started house sitting for an old lady in the city and spending more and more time around there with her because its 'peaceful'. I got back home 2 days ago from a sports tournament and she said that had got really high by herself the other night because she wanted to relax. I'm not into drugs or anything like that (although I'm not shy of a drink), so this was hard to hear.She asked me to meet her in the park near my house so we could lay in the sun. During this time she talked non stop about how she was so confused, needed some time for herself and all the while crying non stop. I was shocked into silence, so I came across as a bit of an emotionless bastard.She suggested a break, and all I could do was say "yes, if thats what you want". I was angry. We parted ways and I got home, went up to my room and cried like I've never cried before. She is my world, she is the most amazing thing to happen to me and I cannot bear to see her losing interest in me like this - and the worst thing is that I don't know WHY! I call her and ask her to stop by my house before she heads back home, and she says she will.She doesn't. I rehearse from my heart what I have to say to her, how much she means to me and that I want us to continue down the same path in life, and decide to go and see her that night to deliver my heartfelt message.So I drive to her house (one hour away) to tell her, but as I am leaving town see her car parked at the old lady's house she has been at so often recently. I sum up the courage in me, wipe my eyes of tears and walk into the car port of the old lady's house.Rachel, the old lady, and a random man with a dog who I don't know nor could get a good look at, are all sitting outside at a table smoking and talking. The dog barks and alerts them to my presence, and I say "its only me" to which Rachel comes out and takes me outside so we can talk.I pour my heart into my words, confess my undying love for her and everything else I could think of - but it was as if I was speaking to a different person. The old Rachel, who said she never wanted to be with anybody else, wanted to spend the rest other life with me, wanted to experience the world with me, was gone. Instead, she stood glassy eyed and kicked the tire of her car as I rambled on and on about my love for her. I don't think she really heard a thing I had to say.As I finished, she pulled me into a hug and said "its not you, its me" "I want to be able to embrace my wild side, to be able to be free and not have to answer to anybody" "I love you as a person" all those things said to try and let somebody down easy... She wants to travel at the end of this year, and go to university next year. And she said she thinks we should have a 2 week break in which we don't speak, text or call one another to see how we both feel after that. She said we can talk again after this time.I would do anything to stay with her, I'll darn travel the world and save up enough to do so if it means being with her again.For the past 2 days I haven't been able to sleep, exercise or eat. My stomach feels like its been punched a million times and the pain won't go away. I feel literally sick. And the worst part about it is that I'm not sure she is feeling the same pain as I am. My worst fear is that we will meet to catch up after the two weeks to chat about things, and she will say "I have enjoyed being myself these past two weeks and not having to hang out with you - lets end it here". How can I stop this? How can I prepare something so special so that she HAS to take me back and realise what we had together is rare and worth a lifetime of sacrifice?Please, please - help me. I know this girl is so special, she is amazing and I do not want to lose her. I don't want any negative comments about how I deserve better and there are plenty more fish in the sea - I want you guys to understand the dark place from where I'm currently sitting in, and try to help me create the fairytale ending in which I somehow pull of a miracle and win her back when we meet again after these two weeks. The possibility of potentially winning her back after these 2 weeks is all that is keeping me from total collapse at the moment. Otherwise I think I might buckle. I've never been suicidal, but nothing seems to be out of the question the way I'm feeling right now. Its a pain like no other.She is interstate this weekend with her mum at a music concert, and I am on good terms with her dad, so I thought when she is gone I might be able to discreetly visit him and talk some things over with him to see if there is anything else I could possibly do to save the relationship? I would make him promise not to tell Rachel of course.Thank you friends.Tl;Dr: My girlfriend is quickly losing interest in me and wanting to experience her 'wild side' and follow her dreams/passions in life, but she means the world to me and I will do anything I can to keep her in my life. We are on a 2 week break and I need to think of something I can do to win her back when we meet again to talk after those 2 weeks. Any thoughtful advice is appreciated. via /r/dating_advice

[viralhottopics]

Dont tell me its going to be OK: diary of a Latino teenager in the age of Trump

Angelina Alvarez fought pro-Trump graffiti by wearing a Dump Trump shirt to school. After he won the election, she kept a diary about her life and feelings

When anti-immigrant, anti-Mexican, pro-Trump graffiti began showing up around their California high school, Angelina Alvarez and other Latino students fought back with Dump Trump T-shirts.

After Donald Trump won the US election, the Guardian asked Alvarez, 17, to keep a diary about her life and feelings in this new era.

Election Day 8 November

Trump won I dont even know what to think. Im just scared, I want to be with my grandma right now and just hug her. My grandma that came here as an immigrant, who worked hard, who was able to buy a home, who sent her kids to college, who later became documented. How can people hate someone like her?

Im looking at my friends Snapchat stories and seeing that even a few of my friends are excited that he won. I ask them why they hate themselves. Unsure how to answer, they delete their stories. Im just thinking about all of the families that are going to be affected by this. I pray that we all stay strong and do not back down to any of the obstacles we have ahead of us. It is such a disappointment. Our country is a disappointment.

9 November

It was so uncomfortable at school today I had my classes that have the biggest Trump supporters in my school. They were surprisingly dead silent, all of them. They didnt look at me and I didnt really look at them. I wonder why they were so quiet though, it scares me honestly but I dont know why.

My sister and friends told me that they saw a lot of people wearing their Trump gear and congratulating each other. I didnt want to be there, I just wanted to go home. My stomach was uneasy and I didnt even want to eat lunch. I couldnt think in class, I couldnt stay focused. I wanted to run home and just lay in my bed.

One of my friends that Ive known since I was in kindergarten, whose mother is undocumented, saw my sister and broke down sobbing. And I just read a post from another friend, she and her mother were taunted by junior high kids yelling Trump and Go back to Mexico. This is happening here, at my school, in my neighborhood. Is this really my neighborhood or am I an intruder?

10 November

This morning I got a message from a teacher that we were having a meeting to talk about everything thats going on with Trump. I love that our teachers care about us and how we are feeling. In reading all the posts that people are putting up I feel sad that they are alone and wish they could join us.

I took a couple of my friends to the meeting. At first, there were only about 10 people 15 minutes later there were about 100 of us. I felt so liberated and happy seeing everyone walking in. My heart was beating so fast I wanted to cry, I wanted to hug everyone. Seeing everyone in solidarity made me so proud, it made me feel hopeful.

About 10 students spoke up and talked about not being scared, to unite and to prove the Trump supporters wrong. I wanted to get up there and point out that its not just Trump he has all these followers behind him that are capable of worse things. I want to compare our situation with what the Jews must have felt when Hitler went from being a joke to being their leader. The pigment of our skin and the accent in our voice is like the star on their clothing.

I want to say so much but I cant. I dont want to disrupt the unity in the room and the hopefulness that is being shared. I wish we could have another meeting so I could share all my thoughts and emotions. Im upset with myself for staying quiet. Its not the time to stay quiet, Ive been silenced enough.

11 November

I am so glad we were off from school today. I feel drained, so tired, I feel heavy like I dont want to do anything. I feel anxious like I am worried something is going to happen. I dont want the TV on or any kind of news. I asked my sister not to play music loud. I dont want my mom to listen to hear political shows. I want a break from the elections, I need a break from all of it.

12 November

My mom told me about a huge rally in Los Angeles put on by an organization I know, Union del Barrio. I begged her to go, I had to go, I had to release my anger and frustration. I needed to feel connected to other people. When we arrived we were shocked to see thousands of people!

There were people holding up flags from different countries, different struggles, different identities, it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. We were all chanting loudly, holding our fists up for justice, and showing love for one another, forming a rhythm together with our voices. Even though I arrived with anger in my heart, I couldnt stop smiling from all the love and unity I saw around me.

We watched as more and more people joined, we listened to speakers call out for action, telling us not to back down. I held my moms hand, I told her I couldnt believe this was going on. I looked over at her and saw she was crying. I hugged her because I knew how she was feeling. I told her that this was just what I needed. We were unstoppable and unafraid.

13 November

Part of me wanted to go to a rally in Santa Ana today because it is local and I want to show support, but another part of me didnt. I read the rules for this rally, which made me uncomfortable; its a respectability politics kind of rally. I have gone to rallies like this before, where they criticize youth who get too radical.

Those kinds of views are what got us Trump in the first place. I dont know, maybe it was a great rally but I dont want resistance to be criticized. I stand by all people who protest; whether its peaceful or not, we all have the right to feel, we have the right to react, we have the right to be angry. Please dont tell me its going to be OK, you dont know whats going to happen so stop saying that. We, youth, ultimately, have to face the consequences, we have to live with decisions we had no control over.

I told my mother I would rather hang out at the house. I want to rest; I want to feel normal again, whatever that means. I noticed that when Im out at the store, I am constantly wondering what people are thinking of me. I wonder if they voted for Trump, if they dont like me or if they will say something to us.

24 November

Hmm Thanksgiving was super uncomfortable for me. We spent the day with extended family, some of who are white. I honestly have never really felt comfortable around them.

After our Thanksgiving dinner, we were all in the living room talking. My cousins made a remark about the grandpa looking like Bernie Sanders right away they all seemed disgusted when they heard his name. My cousins kept saying how Bernie Sanders was the best and my extended family kept saying Well he didnt win, he didnt win. Pretty much insinuating that Donald Trump is the best since he won. Then my cousin asked them why they like Donald Trump and they just stayed quiet.

I looked over and saw my grandmother, my uncle and aunts, all who were undocumented at some point in their life, who take pride in their culture, their language, and their customs and wonder if they feel the tension in the room. I can tell my grandmother wants to go home. I want to go home too. But I would also defend them if anyone tried to insult them. I dont want to feel like this in my safe space on this special day.

8 December

Trump has named Scott Pruitt, Oklahomas attorney general, to head the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency). How does that even make sense? Even I, a high school student, know thats bad decision. Its like having narcos lead the war on drugs.

9 January

People are salivating just waiting to see people being arrested and deported on TV. The same people whose relatives immigrated here years back but for some reason think they are the True Americans. The same people that stereotype immigrants as being Mexican criminals but dont know that Mexicans are not the majority of immigrants in the US. The same people who are not aware that the majority of those immigrant people never committed a serious crime. The same people that will root for unborn babies pro choice and at the same time for root for children to be separated from their parents.

My heart hurts for my undocumented Daca brothers and sisters who may be at risk starting next week. History repeats itself, get ready for another Operation Wetback.

16 January

Today I had basketball practice, then got to spend the day with people who practice Martin Luther Kings teachings every day. I was so annoyed seeing people post about MLK, sharing his quotes when they just recently were in support of Trump or criticized BLM. How can they not see the hypocrisy in that? Its like they have selective discrimination they discriminate when its popular.

Sometimes I wish I didnt know so much maybe then I wouldnt feel pain when I hear stories, but other days I am glad that I am 17 and woke.

We finalized our plans for Inauguration Day I am excited and angry. Excited that thousands of people from all over the world will stand against Trump and his fascist ideas, yet angry that this day kicks off his plans to harm people.

We are going to start the day with thousands of people in Downtown Los Angeles, then join an evening protest with mostly young people in Santa Ana. The following day Saturday January 21 we will be joining women in Orange County for a big march standing for womens rights. Standing up against Trump is important and I hope other people join, it is to show him and his followers that we will not back down and we will resist hate. May the universe help us.

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