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#like in general not just online way u know
cat-soap-opera · 2 years
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is this hashtag paranoia or do ppl not interact w me a lot on this blog in a visible way. like replies n asks n shit.
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bunnihearted · 9 days
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being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me
#irl mostly. but even online. i cannot connect or find communities or support systems the way most of u can#even if i do have found great connections and one connection in particular im more than grateful for#but i have had so much of my humanness torn off for so long that i am awkward and useless in handling it#but yeah idk :/ im just so profoundly jealous of how everyone can just fit into a slot#even online when ppl talk abt being anxious and stuff they still have ppl to talk to#or ppl irl to hang out with and im like.. wow... i cant even do that :/#it is just so lonely in general. and it has made me confused and incapable of knowing how to be a human#and fully realise and actualize the one connection i do have#if i had gotten to learn and now know how to be a human and a person i would've... been a person#but now i feel so removed and far away from that idek how...#like im at a point where i cant even have simple and shallow conversations online bc im like so useless#maybe only other ppl with avpd and who have been socially rejected and isolated and alienated can fully understand what i mean#it is so scary and weird and i feel such deep envy for how people can just like... talk to eo. irl and online. i dont get it#and like the connection i do have that i mention bc it is so important to me.. that does all of those things#but it is like im so not used to anyone even keep wanting to have a connection with me#that i feel like bambi on ice 💀 for lack of a better metaphor#and inside of me idk how to dare to open up to it bc i've been numb and shut off i just dont know#i dont know. but i want to but idk how.#ahhhhhh wanna scream bc just trying to describe it so i can make sense of it is frustrating!!!!#it also sucks bc other ppl really dont seem to get how fkn weird and scary it is to feel so removed from humanness#and not even be able to do most basic human people things most ppl who are mentally ill or anxious do.. i cant even do that idk#talking and communicating is the main thing like ppl do not understand how fkn hard it is for me to even have a simple convo#and i cant explain it bc theres no way someone who doesnt feel the same and have avpd could get it...#but idk. i just hate all of this and i wish i had a normal functioning brain. i just wanna be like everyone else#even ppl w social anxiety are capable of having friends. and im terrified of losing the only connection i've somehow been lucky to get#in my hands??? im so scared of losing that but idk HOW to be a person and idk!!! idk!!#other ppl dont even think abt these things im so fkn jealous lmao#anyway whatever 😔
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first-blight · 5 months
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. . . i'm too aro for this
#i saw someone talk about “obvious” romantic tension between phoenix/maya and athena/simon#and that the average cishet normie consumer would assume they were implied romantic#and i sat there for a full minute trying to process that#because literally all i got from these pairings was big sibling energy#and i realize everyone reads that differently but.#the level of being annoying and being annoyed between maya and phoenix....#and the whole “i gotta be a big sister” and the whole. maya is mia's little sister so by extention kind of also#taken under phoenix's wing after mia's death#the way they constantly joke about maya being childish bc she likes steel samurai (she isn't. edgeworth also likes it#he's just too stuck up to admit it. also liking “childish” things doesnt make u childish but i digress)#but anyway the joke abt maya being childish vs phoenix being grown up#furthering the perception of the difference between them and maya as a sort of younger sibling figure#and then athena and simon....#simon literally having been her babysitter somewhat. having played with her when she was younger#and when the Mom Murder Incident happened he cared for her and got her out of there#and took on the blame “for her” .....#all of that screams older brother to me the way he carried her away from the scene. she was just a child#IDK IS IT REALLY SUPPOSED TO BE OBVIOUSLY ROMANTICALLY IMPLIED?????????#WHAT......#i KNOW there are people who ship phoenix and maya or athena and simon and that's fine#but to me they were OBVIOUSLY sibling coded instead of OBVIOUSLY romance coded#😭😭😭#help meeeee#cas.txt#i cant tell if the post i saw was an outlier and tinted by Fandom Perception#or if that's like. a big general consensus and i just don't see it bc i curate my online experience#bc it could go either way. i can see it being an outlier that found its way onto my dash#but i could also see it as a bigger agreed upon thing that just never crossed my dash bc i only interact with sibling content 😭#either way it baffled me
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hello-that-happened · 1 month
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Psst, dunno if you already knew, but askgiegueandcrew is posting again. They're also making a fan fiction reboot of the story. Thought you might be interested. (I do enjoy seeing you go crazy in the tags)
*deep breath*
WHAT
WHYYYYY DIDN'T TUMBLR NOTIFY ME THAT @askgiegueandcrew IS POSTING AGAIN
also yes I'm totally going to check out the fanfic
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mukuharakazui · 1 year
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bg3 is crazy for being a massive $70 larian + wotc collab game whose accessibility menu features subtitles that are present for less than half of all idle character dialogue and almost zero battle dialogue
#succ speaks#not to be the 'paizo wouldn't let this happen' guy but god this is actually insane#like why even have an accessibility menu at that point? i'd rather watch a youtube video with automatic captions#same energy as devs complaining that everyone was making their pcs a white human guy in early access while they had no asian human options#like bro i just want to know what bestie karlach is saying but if u make her mumble with no captions even tho i have subtitles on#tf am i supposed to do.....🤨😡😭💀#baldur's gate 3 is fun but this is pissing me off. like i'm prob not gonna keep playing this solo & only play online with friends#it's fun but. not fun enough to mimic the actual wacky bullshit i do with charisma rogues and bards in dnd or pf#i think i'm also used to having real humans around for ttrpg antics and dynamic character interactions so bg3 feels bland in comparison lol#also because irl i can ask people to repeat what they just said 🙃🙃🙃#joining the mob by accident was admittedly funnier in bg3 than it was in dnd though considering i stumbled into the base out of nowhere#i guess it just falls under ny philosophy that dnd is most fun when wotc has zero actual say in what happens and what we can do 👍#however as much as pf > dnd...bg3 > kingmaker. i think pathfinder is just to true of a ttrpg to adapt into a video game super well#like. the writing in wotr was WAY better than bg3 but still sometimes bad enough to be infuriating ESPECIALLY in regards to iomedae#but the weird ass iomedae stuff is also true in the adventure path itself and plenty of other people have complained about it#but hey at least in wotr the subtitles told me what she was saying every time she spoke 👍#wotr was still rly fun tho no hate to the game in general this is a quick slam of being pissed at bg3 again 🙏🙏
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daughterofsarenrae · 11 months
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anyone have advice on learning a language when you don't have anyone to speak it with
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orcelito · 2 months
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Gonna also get my license soon. This time for real.
Need to find that sheet of the driving times... hmmm
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arvoze · 11 months
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the power i will receive in a matter of days will be astounding. watch out
#i am making this post to ramble. idk if it will actually change anything but i am trying 2 be hopeful .#ive been very. Rough all month thus far both physically and mentally and occasionally both at the same time#i am just hoping tht wat i am getting soon will help me do things bc ive rly had no energy to do anything at alllllll#and i rly dont want to like. Explode i would like to get things done#i have things i owe to people!!! i just dont have the spoons to do it Ever and it piles iup and up in my head#it fucking blows dude i have been stuck in a horrendous loop for like almost 6 months#i just want 2 be normal u know . i am hoping something will change soon#if it does not change in the nesxt few days when my shit arrives i think im like. Done For in general#like if im unable to get anything done in the next few days then i am going to very seriously have to reconsider#literally everything i do online i think. its a bit fucked up#ik it sounds like an exaggeration bu there is noooo way in hell i am Surviving like tihs !!!!!!! slash srs#i wish twitter circles did not die so i cold blow up in there bu back to ye olde norm of tumblr tags will have to do#also it feels less invasive so like. win for me ig. i do miss rambling nonstop in tags#i miss tumblr!! i miss a lot of old stuff. reminiscing for reasons both good and bad. the tumblr stuff is the good side tho#anyways i have been slowly chipping away at writing thigns this month and ik its like. not a lot at all.#but its a lot to *me* and when youre someone whos only capable of doing so mch its like. a big deal#(im writing pmdnd stuff finally getting back into gear nd stuff i have been trying to slowly draw the npcs#that ive made whilst trying to recover in other areas bu rghghrghgrgr i dont ewant to draw#i havent wanted to draw in a long long time blows up)#i shuld. stop typing actually i am rambling too much i jsujt have nowhere to mindlessly ramble anymore technicaly#i dont want to bug my friends w me being unwell all the time DFJKGHDFKGFG#mayne i will try to ccontinue with the npcs. we will see based on if i post again in the next 30 minutes
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i do see a lot of interesting takes on here about other social media which i feel are heavily influenced by the fact that lots of people on this website maybe don't have many friends
#if ur perception of instagram is just 'influencers' and 'content creators' then i'm sorry for you#obviously i'm not saying it's without problems but#using instagram as a way to stay in contact with and keep up with your friends is really no different from doing that on tumblr#and if u think it is then either you don't use ig at all or you just don't have any friends on there#there's this odd sense of superiority these kinds of posts often espouse#that the poster is better than people who use social media (apart from tumblr which we all know has no problems whatsover...)#i feel like a major part of any social media is curating your own experience#and people know how to do that on tumblr (which why i'm usually blissfully unaware of insane discourse happening elsewhere on this site)#but for some reason think they don't have to do that on other social media sites and then complain about their experiences there?#if you don't want to see posts from influencers on ig then........ don't follow influencers?#just follow your friends and only let your friends follow you and post whatever you want#ik this is coming across as mean and i'm obviously not saying that you *have* to use ig or that you should#but to post unironically and uncritically about how *everyone* on *every* social media other than tumblr#is a clout-chasing ungenuine idiot who lives only to follow trends create content and lie about their life online#is being completely ignorant about the way most people use other social media sites - as. you know. SOCIAL media#which there is nothing wrong with#anyway i basically just saw a post abt this that pissed me off sorry for the rant lmao#but i do have a lot of thoughts abt this topic and about the good uses of social media in society in general#🧃
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generationa1trauma · 4 months
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currently struggling w the concept that the community i so desperately want to be a part of relies heavily on talent and always involves some level of rejection through auditions
#my desire for just. community in general vs the undeniable fact that i am not really cut out for this#it does not matter how much i love theatre or performing bc love of the game is not enough#if u do not have the connections or a groundbreaking talent it just wont happen#and like. yeah there's crew and front of house and other ways to be involved but they just inevitably dont feel like part of it#because you come in days or hours before the show opens and these people have been together so much longer and have bonds formed#i am just. i do not have bonds formed in my real life w basically anyone. and its so difficult to form bonds as an adult#finding people who are open to new friendships is hard enough but by also being trans and autistic its just#its so hard meeting people as is but theres also the undeniable fact that a lot of people just wont accept me#and it sucks!! i just want friends!!!!#i just want. people who want to spend time with me and get to know me and put in effort#and i want a relationship but thats even harder than friendship really#not to sad post on main i may delete this but god i am just so lonely and me not being online is not because i have people#it just feels like everything is out of reach and its exhausting#it feels like ive missed out on core years of my life and im behind everyone and i don't know how to fix it#negative cw#god#anyway the show im watching is great everyone is talented but one girl did forget the words and go silent for a whole verse of her solo song
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bmpmp3 · 5 months
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I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away
#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd#ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding.#i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way#when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee#but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo#and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards#not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony#my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like#marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there#i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my#parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL)#but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school#nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is#same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL#i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not.#i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds#but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice#i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring#that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases#and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason#you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident#im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like#i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS#i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3#i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year
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I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.
Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao
#text post#I would love to reblog their art and be supportive in that way at least but tbh#every time I accidentally reblog it I remember checking out their blog and seeing how they talked abt fans that like Izzy and the izcourse#and it's like oh no that's right you hate ppl like me and ur art might be gorg but maybe we just shouldn't interact#they do their thing and I'll be over here doing mine#what really needs to happen is I need to remember to check urls on fandom art to make sure it isn't any of the folks I had to block lmao#but sometimes I get excited bc the art is genuinely lovely and i do like it and think the person is v talented!#and then i forget to check and it's only after scrolling my dash that i see my reblog and the url and go 'oh. fuck. that's right. damnit.'#it's a weird feeling to be like yes I want this person to have fun and make gorgeous art but also it seems#they've made it p clear how they feel abt folks like me and so maybe they would prefer i just fuck off#which i tried to do by blocking!! and yet. here we are#i delete the reblogs whenever this happens so they don't have me in their notes but#i do hope they know their art is lovely and I appreciate their hard work even if we wouldn't otherwise get along with each other#idek why I'm blogging abt this I guess bc I feel like usually it's either or online? like u either hate each other or u don't#but I don't hate the folks who sent shit to me or the folks who condoned it i just wish i had found a way to get along with them instead#as useless a wish as that probably is#and i don't talk abt it a lot but it really bugs the fuck outta me sometimes that we can't just start over and try to interact generally#no messages no trying to be friends just reblog from them if u like and otherwise ignore each other#which has been a thing that's worked fairly okay in other fandoms tho things have happened in others to change how workable it was#but for some reason in this one i feel like im just always walking on eggshells to interact w/anyone bc it feels like everyone is waiting#for someone else to say something they vaguely disagree with and instead of just like. blocking and moving on w/the fandom experience#it turns into a massive mess that even if ur on the fringes of it all you still get pulled into or sent shit and just.#idk it doesn't matter bc ultimately none of this does but dang it the show has been special to me and hits all my special interests#and it's hard to let go and accept that there's no changing how things went and how they are and how this fandom experience for me is often#very fucking lonely even when i'm bursting at the seams to share and to hear from others what they think abt anything and everything w/it#no one is gonna read this tag essay lmao pls scroll on
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toytulini · 1 year
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does anyone else have like popular users, or users with popular posts, where like, you like and generally agree w a lot of the posts of theirs that end up on ur dash. but when you look at their blog for more than like 2 minutes you immediately know that if you tried to follow them youd end up hating and blocking them lmao? i am obviously Not going to give examples
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starlightkun · 1 year
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reading scientific articles on human scent glands to write one scene of a fic. sigh. guess what fic this is for.........
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hella1975 · 2 years
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has that other anon ever met an upper class brit because i guarantee they wouldn't feel the same after encountering All That
literally 😭 like comparing classism is so dumb when it’s very much a subjective, varied conversation WITHIN a country let alone amongst different countries but that sentiment can and should coexist with the acknowledgement that british classism Does Not Fuck About
#like u cant lob both country's classim under an umbrella term when comparing them#bc our culture and history with it is so wildly different#like american classism IS there and IS a serious problem the irony here is that literally at no point did anyone say otherwise#so idk why anon got so up in arms lol#but the thing about british classism and the reason it gets talked about so much is because it is such a huge part of our lives#and americans never seem to really get that like even americans that acknowledge it i feel still struggle to grasp the severity of it#I’ve seen a lot of much smarter well-researched people say that class and race in the uk and usa are flipped#so while it’s important to note that BOTH countries have serious issues in both departments the way they manifest is different#so the way race is treated with such severity/extremity in america and racism so normalised and systemic#is exactly how class is here#and the way classism is typically more indirect and underlying in america#is how racism is here#does that make sense? there’s a lot of articles online that explain it better#like im explaining it v briefly and it's obviously not that black and white but that's the general gist of it#and if ur american thinking ‘classism doesn’t FEEL indirect for me so you're WRONG’#then consider im not wrong. that's just how severe it is here for me to be saying it#like idk I can’t stand this narrative anyway of taking away from the original problem to instead have a pissing contest about it#so this will probs be the last I speak about it#but it’s super interesting and it can’t hurt to know more about especially with the prevalence of americacentrism#which is why I responded so harshly to anon to begin with bc like really?#you saw ONE POST that wasn’t about america or american problems and got upset. be serious rn#ask
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wehaveagathering · 8 months
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Hey lovely! New flyers fan here and was just wondering if you could recommend flyers blogs to follow 🥰 Want to start lbing with you all because it seems fun
Hi bud!!! happy to have you :0 🧡🖤
honestly? just jump straight into the lb with us on thursday instead! we're playing dallas at home and trying to extend a win streak to five, so it should be exciting >:) you can see us all in real time and figure out who you might want to follow from there! or if you can't wait until then, you can scroll thru the tag right now and see who you vibe with! you can also check out my flyers tag on my blog too, to see who i reblog flyers stuff from and who reblogs it from me. curate your own online experience! the thrill of discovery is greater when unearthed by your own two hands!!!
and last but not least GO FLYERS
#also don't be afraid to reblog old shit!#also.. if i may be vulnerable.. i dont really want to like#tell you oh These are the Flyers Blogs you should follow#everyone has their own voice and their own favorite teams and their own niches#and not only do i know i'm gonna forget someone i don't want to pigeonhole anyone!#like the venn diagram of Do you like the flyers? generally falls on the flyers lb tag and the philadelphia%20flyers tag#and then the center you can kind of really extrapolate from there#idk man#it's more than feeling left out of something. u know ?? i feel that giving someone a list of These People feels... gatekeepy in an odd way#almost indescribably;#i've not been able to put it into words#and btw you've done nothing wrong anon lmao this is a perfectly reasonable question and giving a list of Blogs That Post Particular Stuff i#a very common occurrence!#i've just been on and off tumblr for a good decade now#and i feel with this blog i've only just found my footing and my ability to set online boundaries#and just placidly following 'these are the blogs you should follow if you want to see [x] content!' has never really worked for me#i like to feel connected to people i follow#i like to scroll through their blog a bit and see how they tag#and how they write#and what they post!#and most of all i like to FIND them first#like discovering a cool rock amongst a host of cool rocks in a stream#because i know if i go searching for something - like fishing for rocks in a stream -#i am inevitably going to find others searching for the same thing. and that's how you build community!#maybe that's what this is about#i feel i have become good friends with some flyers lb people bc like i reached out and i found them bc i wanted flyers friends and i did it#on my own and of my own volition#and i wish this for you too anon!#i hope my lengthy and meanderingly philosophical response has not put you off of the flyers lb!! i am usually quite concise there!#(very concise. a lot of swearing and LFGGGGGGGs)
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