#like in s2 they rlly thought it was gonna be the end with all the distance and the fact they couldn’t even be best friends anymore

[eternalfics]

*holds hands out like a little peasant boy* do you have any crumbs.. perhaps, saiki kusuo as a bf with a reader who can sing? perchance...

saiki with a reader that can sing!

a/n: hmm, perhaps I maybe have some leftovers.. and uhh rlly sorry if u have been waiting 4EVERR 😱 (or maybe I just don’t pay attention to my notifications and it’s been a day.) but still sorryyy

warning: a lil joke about blackmail..

the song I was listening to while writing this:

you’re basically just in the friend group, whenever the group goes somewhere you follow. but you and saiki have the most in common, you guys are like bread and butter. you have so much in common, that’s probably why saiki asked you to date him. like you both are quiet, you both like quiet. anything do to with quiet. 😊 of course you still have conversations, but everyone calls you “the definition of shy”.

so saiki doesn’t expect for you to sing at karaoke night when everyone goes, he just thinks you’ll sit and chat with him. but something told him that you weren’t really interested in talking about coffee jelly right now. as you were looking at kaido singing TERRIBLY, you were kind of thinking of pushing him off and singing the rest.

and you did! well, you didn’t push him off. you obviously waited for your turn 😭 and you obviously SLAYED. your confidence rose up so fast, and you shocked everyone around you. you swear you were about to burst out laughing as soon as you saw saiki’s surprised look. but another part of you was so proud of yourself! it was basically saiki saying oh wow, but without words and using his facial expression. (I REFUSE to watch s2 without it being dubbed.) and guess what! you saw a glimpse of teruhashi’s angry face, looking like she was about to tear you up like a dog in the corner of your eye.

and basically since that day, you’ve been singing everywhere WITH ✨CONFIDENCE✨. you sang in your Pom, near saiki, near your friends, at night (quietly bc people are sleeping 😒) , when your favourite song is on, you know it. and everyone got used to it, that shy, uncomfortable y/n you knew was gone 4ever. now, they got replaced a new, confident y/n ✨

saiki, as your boyfriend, had to hear it all the time. and he wasn’t sick of it AT ALL. (sometimes he was, when he was trying to sleep with you on call or when you were singing just. too. much! but that didn’t happen often.) and sometimes, he’s just a big softie. 🙂 saiki asked you one time (in a very flustered way) if you could sing a lullaby for him to sleep, and of course you did it! (right after you teased him and pinched his cheeks.!) now in random moments, you remind him of the moment and you have a very red-faced kusuo saiki at your side. (sometimes you use that information for blackmail-)

whenever you get into arguments, saiki doesn’t like it at all, because he’s used to hearing your voice all of the time. 🕰️ and whenever you’re angry you don’t sing AT ALL. like AT ALL. and saiki has to find ways to make you feel better, he reads your mind, he’s follows you around like a lost puppy, and he tries to signal that he’s sorry but he doesn’t say it, like for example: giving you his LAST, EXCLUSIVEEEE 😱😱 coffee jelly 😓. but you always forgive him in the end, and then he can have that sweet voice near his ears again.

one time, you were at his house and you were coming downstairs secretly. saiki had that ring of his on, you never knew that saiki wore rings? but you always thought that it suited him. but as you get closer, you hear some humming, sweet, unexpected humming. he was humming that song you always sing. 🎶 when you start humming along with him, he jumps and looks behind him, seeing you, he visibly relaxes. seeing him relax, made you giggle. but you guys both knew that you were gonna tease him later.

damn I wrote a lot

[jackwhiteprophetic]

Okay so I don't usually go into asks, so l'm sorry if this isn't the correct etiquette (its not rlly an ask, more of a anti-bt rant), BUT the amount of bt truthers on my feed recently have been pissing me off, and then I saw this one post that said,

"honestly i love tommy not entertaining their shovel talk with any serious answers, he's like yeah this is my relationship with my adult bf who wants me so im gonna go eat my cake now (double entendre)"

Which??? I don't even know what to say.

honestly i love Tommy not entertaining their shovel talk with any serious answers

Shovel talk?? You mean them asking legitimate questions on his intentions with their friend, who they care about??? who they're protective over??? who's dating a guy that in the past was both racist and misogynistic??? Who treated hen terribly when she joined the 118???

Idk about some people but I'd def hold a grudge 💀??

And it's the way he's not even TRYING. Like they said, not entertaining their questions with any serious answers. he's just making poorly landing jokes (that apparently his cult following chalks up as sass????) and being so dismissive of everything they say.

"I'm wearing a medal" dear god I hated him before that clip but the way he was acting made me hate him even more and gave me SO MUCH of an ick.

It's the way his following are following him so blindly? That they can't see that he wasn't being sassy he was being a sarcastic little shit who doesn't know how to read the room. Henren are trying to look out for their friend who this asshat is dating and he can't even bring himself to try to assure them that he's good for buck.

Idk I think I might've gotten a bit off topic but bt stans are so aggravating???? I've been called 'delusional' by so many people in this fandom who used to be buddie shippers but converted as soon as Buck was kissed by another guy.... And I've seen so many bt shippers be like 'Oh, yeah, I used to be in that sub fandom, I know how annoying and pushy they are'. I'm SO tired of the infighting, and the sudden shitting on Eddie that's going on ever since Tommy reentered the picture. And I'm so tired of THEM thinking that bt will be endgame because it's Buck's first relationship with a man and Bobby gave his approval. They don't care about Buck. I saw another post the other day talking about how 'Evan Buckley better not break Tommy Kinard's soft gentle heart or they're gonna have words'. Atp all they care about is Lou/Tommy. 

Hello!!! Anyone is always welcome to send me asks especially just to rant, I don't end up responding to all of them because I don't want to only focus on Tommy or BT shippers because there are lots of other less aggravating things to talk about, but I saw the same post and I had the same thoughts and I will say I find it incredibly frustrating how some people have praised Tommy for that scene.

Because I think he should be a lot more ashamed of how he treated Hen, and I think if he understood the weight of his ignorance/outright bigotry on her in the past, he would be a lot more receptive of the fact that obviously she feels protective over her friend in this situation. The fact is, the characters of Gerrard and Tommy were written in S2 to show how fucking dangerous workplace bigotry is. They're firefighters. Try telling me that Tommy would have fought as hard to get Hen from a burning building than a white male teammate. Do we think that this extended to the public? When Gerrard was probably evacuating crew members from burning houses earlier than he would for white neighbourhoods, do we think Tommy stood up and said "no, I'm an ally and I say this is wrong, we should fight just as hard for every life". Or did he sit there like a fucking coward and think about cars or boxing or something? I don't have much more to add because I fucking hate the character so much and I am quite disgusted by the white people who excuse this or look past it. You should feel more shame and Tommy should show he is fucking ashamed of his actions and at least show Hen some fucking respect. Tommy should take Hen seriously because his actions had fucking serious real life consequences.

Anyway thank you for the ask!!! My ask box is always open for people to rant and I will always read them!! I'm very much limiting how much I talk about that character BC I am trying to focus more on positive stuff, but if anyone would like to message me ranting about him or any 911 thing I am always available!!!

[v-i-r-i-d-i-a-n]

YOU WANNA KNOW SOMETHIN

Y’ALL ACTUALLY WANNA KNOW HOW I FEEL ABT MIKE WILL AND EL??

I just want them to be happy

I started watching stranger things because of the hype of S4, I watched the first season with my parents in 2018 but didn’t rlly remember anything abt the plot and I didn’t get past episode where Jonathan’s camera was broken because I physically couldn’t watch anything with embarrassment at that point in my life

Anyways all I remember is that I didn’t care abt milkvan, like at all, I had no emotional attachment to them, I thought they were vaguely cute? But I felt like I had seen this formula a million times before and it was boring at that point, so I just didn’t really care abt them, I loved the characters don’t get me wrong but their relationship just never really felt that important to me, I always preferred them as friends anyways, their platonic interactions were always my favorites

I knew that I just wanted these little fuckers to be happy and if Mike and Eleven being together made them happy so be it, even then tho I was starting to realize the differences between Mike/Will and Mike/El but I could’ve passed off S2 Byler was platonic if they wrote Mileven super cute, but at that point I hadn’t seen them together on screen enough to rlly have any attachment to them

And then I watched S3, and S4

And I realized if I want these characters to be happy they cannot be together- they’re relationship does not work, it is not healthy, it’s not good for either of them- and it’s not good for Will

THEY COULD’VE SALVAGED IT IN S3 WRITTEN THEIR PROBLEMS OFF AS IT BEING MIKES FIRST RELATIONSHIP AND HOW HES STILL A KID AND DOESNT ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND AND HOW EL DOESNT ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS TO BE A PERSON YET

BUT THEN WE’RE SHOWN EL LITERALLY AT HER HAPPIEST WHEN SHE ISNT HANGING OUT WITH MIKE?? WE’RE TOLD MIKE AND HER DO NOT HAVE PROPER CONVERSATIONS ABOUT EACH OTHER- ABOUT THE THINGS THEY LIKE TO DO- THE THINGS THEY JUST LIKE- AND IM SUPPOSED TO BE ROOTING FOR THEM???

We’re shown El giggling and having a good time after breaking up with Mike, we’re told that El see’s him as “her first boy friend” which means she thinks she’s gonna get another eventually- we’re SHOWN El being happy without Mike

We’re shown that Mike keeps El in a holding place she doesn’t want to be in anymore

AND THEN WE’RE SHOWN WILL BEING DEVASTATED WITHOUT MIKE, WE’RE SHOWN AND TOLD THAT WILL LOVES MIKE AND WE’RE SHOWN THAT WILL KNOWS HIM AND HOW TO HELP HIM AND HOW TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER AND WE’RE SHOWN JUST HOW DIFFERENT AND IMPORTANT THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS

EVEN JUST THE ENDING OF S3 WHERE MIKE AND WILLS CONVERSATION ENDS WITH THEM SWEETLY SMILING AT EACH OTHER WELL MAKING PROMISES TO NEVER REPLACE EACH OTHER WELL MIKE AND ELS ENDS WITH THEM KISSING AND MIKE HAVING HIS EYES OPEN AND EL WALKING AWAY FROM HIM WELL HE STANDS STARING LOOKING VAGUELY DISGUSTED WITH THE INTERNAL DIALOGUE OF “what’s wrong with me” ?????????

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ROOT FOR THE COUPLE THAT HAS BEEN SHOWN TIME AND TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO BE BETTER OFF AS FRIENDS??? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ROOT FOR THEM WHEN THEY DONT SEEM TO MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY??? WHEN THEY KNOW LIKE NOTHING ABT EACH OTHER? WHEN ONE OF THEM IS ALWAYS SAYING THEY DONT LIKE THE OTHERS INTERESTS?? WHEN LOOKING OBJECTIVELY AT IT THEIR PERSONAL ARCS GO IN LIKE OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS???

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT ROOT FOR THE COUPLE THAT HAS BEEN SHOWN TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO KNOW EACH OTHER THE BEST OUT OF EVERYONE??? TO HAVE SOME OF THE SWEETEST SCENES AND HEART TO HEARTS AND PARALLELS SO MANY CANON COUPLES ?? WHO MAKES OOGLY EYES AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE AND PROMISE EACH OTHER THEY WONT REPLACE ONE ANOTHER

I just want El and Mike and Will to be happy and looking objectively at it Mike and El breaking up seems to be when El is the happiest, and Mike and Will being together is when they’re at their happiest

[umbrella-academy-hcs]

My thoughts on the characters throughout the seasons on my first watch:

S1

Luther: very very annoying, ew incest, kinda wanted him to die only so the incest plot couldn't happen

Diego: Oh he's cool I like him, and him canonically being semi-verbal? Absolutely love that, me too

Allison: she's sweet, kinda annoying, not the best person but I can see she's trying so I'm going to try to like her, didn't like how she went about the Leonard situation, very worried when she almost died

Klaus: oh I love you, favorite character, best character, you kind of remind me of my friends

Five: you are so interesting I am staring at the screen intrigued, very cool power, but also the mannequin??

Ben: side character, I like his interactions with Klaus

Viktor: you are.. Interesting, however there is too much you and not enough Klaus

S2

Luther: annoyance from last season persevered and I don't trust his interactions with Allison but the scene with the two Fives was really fun

Diego: why the jfk obsession why, also he is a complete dumbass lmao (/endearing)

Allison: I forgive her for the previous season she is top 4, very sweet, I love her and Ray

Klaus: you have been demoted to second favorite but I still love you I swear

Five: you are actively winning me over I have become so attatched you are such a bitter old man who loves his family so much I absolutely adore you

Ben: he is also winning me over, was very near getting really attatched to him at the end of the season and then he fucking died

Viktor: Liking him more now too, he's very sweet, I love him with Sissy and Harlan, the amnesia thing was pretty good, was very nice this season

Lila: not sure how I feel, conflicted, kinda don't like

S3

Luther: fine you win I don't hate you anymore now go dance with your wife, also his reaction to Viktor coming out was so sweet I died, wasn't rlly worried about his death but damn all he wanted was a hug poor guy

Diego: "Do you feel loved? Good, you are" bangs fists on table, crying, screaming, also the whole thing with Stan was very sweet but Diego isn't rlly a good dad, not horrible, but as someone heavily interested in psych and parenting techniques; yikes my guy, you could do better

Allison: Oh her relationship with Viktor is so nice I hope nothing bad happens between them stares at the camera like in the office , also FUCK YOU, the SA was way way too far, completely irredeemable

Klaus: FIVE KLAUS ROADTRIP FIVE KLAUS ROADTRIP, also immortality thank fuck if you died I would have never recovered, all his interactions with Reginald all he wanted was for a good father :(, people need to start listening to him and taking him seriously asap I'm gonna lose it he deserves the world

Five: I would kill for you and your stupid old man outfits, also him being blamed for the apocalypse made my blood boil Five has been trying so hard to keep his family alive and he loves them all so much only to be treated like shit

Ben: I miss Umbrella Ben bring him back why is he such an asshole

Viktor: trans guy swag, all of the coming out scenes warmed my heart, liking his character more, him losing Harlan and Allison treating him like shit :(

Lila: She won me over she is so fun however what she did to Diego with Stan was shit

[tinartss]

i forgot to ask but have you watched the link click finale yet and if so what are you thoughts?? cause um. it got us to top 3 trending (very shook moment). anyway love all your art <3

omg hi anon!!! tysm!! <33 man the finale was so good😭😭😭😭 100% deserving of that trending lu guang tag HAHA thank u for asking i’ll give u an excerpt of my live reaction right after the ep ended (source being my notes app). very much unfiltered and incoherent so prepare to hear me repeat myself like five times LMAO

‘i love protective hypocritical selfish lu guang LIKEEEE oo ITS SO GOOD. what if him constantly restating The Rules to cxs was partly borne out of him worrying abt cxs’s death node not particularly the death nodes of the ppl in the photo. like ‘cxs don’t do anything stupid you’ll change a death node’ = ‘cxs don’t do anything stupid i’m scared you’ll err too close to ur death node’. ARGHH god i love it there’s gonna be so much drama if cxs finds out that lgs been the biggest hypocrite of allllll time IM SO EXCITED god . desperate lg living thru another timeline terrified of cxs’s death willing to die for him sacrifice timelknes for him do anything to keep him alive all for the boy he loves…….LIEUEUUETO EIWUW i’m so ill. i need to know everything….how many timelines has this man lived thru…s2 is truly buildup for s3 and i’m so excited like pls give us more trio content🙏🙏 curious abt hatman ofc but preferably he stays a side character LOL’

anywho i can't believe the animatic i made at the beginning of the season aged (mostly) well…am thinking of making some new adjustments to the end of it for funsies….we will see what happens 🤞🤞 and i also rlly wanna do a kavetham shiguang au based off of the finale….*shakes fist* i need to see irrational alhaitham….unsure of how large the venn diagram intersection is between kavetham enjoyers and shiguang enjoyers who’ve finished the s2 finale but this one is for u 🫡🫡 (if i actually get time to draw it LOL)

sorry that was so long HAHA but feel free to share ur thoughts as well! love hearing abt everyone’s collective lc brainrot <33

[jakowskis]

Day 13 - Favorite ship(s)? Any Torchwood OTPs? Go ahead, gush about them!

dude i multiship so hard in this fandom i dont think there’s a single combination i havent thought of + found a way to enjoy, and that extends to trios. AND i like tw poly. i am mashing them together like barbie dolls. i am having sm fun here in my room

even the ones i don’t exactly “like” still make me Feel Things (more on that later), and even the ones i tend to prefer as friends (more on that later, too), i can still see it if i want to yknow. that’s what’s fun about the slutty bisexy show! woo! they all compel me. 

nonetheless, here are the pairings i like the most, ranked by how often i think of them + how insane they make me. im not gonna gush a ton, actually, bc i get annoyed w how much i talk, so ill keep every explanation under 15 words

owen x ianto: I Want Them Covered in Blood Together (Gnashing My Teeth) (by fall out boy)

owen x andy: golden retriever boyfriend for owen bc sometimes it’s nice to not be angsty (gooseberry who?)

owen x jack: i dont know how they make me feel but they make me feel Something :/

ianto x tosh: THEY’D BE SO CUTE they’d be precious that’s all

tosh x andy: see above. tosh deserves a sweet bf (there are no girls to ship her with 😔)

owen x suzie: they’re mirrors, they’re the same… they intrigue me. also Hawt xD (im bi)

owen x gwen: better as besties imho but im still a bi moron who’s not immune

jack x ianto: overrated imho BUT i do still like them. sigh. dead line speech wahhh

gwen x rhys: i love their relationship troubles n the way it grounds the show. theyre cute

jack x the doctor: sending jack off to harass the doctor so the team can Rest (+ Im Compelled)

jack x gwen: they compel me a little. a teeny bit. not too much but a little

(can u tell i like owen ships. he just has such fascinating relationships w everyone)

ok i lied ill say a couple things. firstly my otp being owento… i’ve talked a bit about it but in brief it started out because i can't resist having at least one enemies/rivals to lovers ship per fandom and ep12 blew my mind a little - and then something just Clicked and they somehow achieved top ten ships of all time status in my brain?? idk what happened there. i usually go for canon-based ships, so having one that kind of lacks substance in the source media (allegedly; i think they’re fruity in canon. but u know what i mean like theyre not ‘canon’ in a show where there is in fact gay TEXT rather than just the subtextual shit theyre doing yanno) and is largely a beast of my own creation (+ the influence of the wonderful handful of fic writers we’ve had over the years) has been rlly fun. 

im largely preoccupied with those two, but i’ve found jack + his relationship with ianto kind of inherently haunts owen x ianto… if you’ve read my fic you know what i mean by that. i can’t see owento existing on its own, like janto fundamentally co-exists next to it so i have to take it into account, and then jack and owen also have a fascinating relationship so i’ve kind of just ended up spending a lot of time thinking about and figuring out owen x ianto x jack in all combinations, because there’s a lot of fascinating stuff going on there from every end. introducing owen to the equation also kind of… ig redeems janto for me, bc i found them offensively underwhelming in s1 and s2. they should be dark and fucked up, and they’re not. owen kind of… brings smth dark and fucked up to the table, and a lot of why i like shipping him with ianto is bc they bring shit out of each other - and owen, for his part, is capable of bringing out ianto’s repressed rage and forcing him to deal with things he’d rather try to compartmentalize and ignore… i find that super compelling, and i also find it useful for breaking down my issues with how jack & ianto’s relationship is initially presented. like, he’s a handy narrative tool for that hfsdjkf. point is, whether i like it or not, jack and his relationships with my girlies (owen n ianto are the girlies <3) is kind of also an intrinsic part of what most of my fixation-oriented brain power goes into thinking about. i’ve been developing this huge fic ‘verse fdhfjk.... Im Very Tired

sometimes i like fun, though, which is what’s behind a lot of those other ships. i’m generally into very dark + angsty + psychological themes, but sometimes fluff and domesticity and occasional silliness is nice, and that’s what’s behind owandy (i have an au where they meet before owen dies) and iantosh (+ gwen x rhys) as my sort of… alternative endgame. my comfort ‘au’. not an au, exactly, but an alternative fluffier world to the darker owento-based one i’ve crafted and spend most of my time thinking about fdshkfj. i also like sending jack off to go bother the doctor, in this ‘au’, because unfortunately i don’t think he’s conductive to the team’s happiness. i think he needs to find his own way to heal and that should probs include the doctor, considering how obsessed jack is with them + how much he needs to unpack All That Shit he has going on before he can be any sort of truly positive force in the lives of the tw team. so for now he’s banned from the polycule for jack crimes. listen, i love that torchwood’s inherently sad and dark and lonely, it’s what compels me, and i’m ultimately glad that’s the core of the show - but it doesn’t have to be. sometimes i enjoy a nicer alternative. i think they could fix it. and that’s what fandom + fanfic is for. 

i also have several ot3s i enjoy, mostly owen ones. i think he deserves a bf + a gf, i think it’d fix him. put that bitch in a bisexual sandwich and maybe he'd behave. in particular, i love owen x tosh x ianto, it’s the only place i ship owen/tosh bc i think ianto would keep owen in check and they’d all better each other. i love owen x tosh x andy for similar reasons. can you tell the four characters im biased towards fhdskj. (i love gwen just as much but she’s kind of doing her own thing with just rhys and jack imo fdkfjsd. perhaps torchwood is composed of two polycules and jack is the link between both of them)

[bibylers]

Ships // opinions // rating // endgame or not? 🤔

Okay, so I got this idea to share my opinions on different ships, and what I think will happen to them in s5!

LUMAX:

I DEFINITELY think this is endgame. Like I’m talking 100000%. I think the only reason it wouldn’t become endgame is if Max didn’t wake up (which SHE WILL.)

This ship is over all a perfect 1000000000000/10 for me.

I love them in all the seasons but especially in s4!!

JOPPER:

10000000000000% ENDGAME.

There is nothing in this world that will make me not believe that Jopper is endgame.

Literally SOOO ADORABLE

I loved them in every season but ESPECIALLY s3 and s4!

Solid 1019101001011901/10.

I LOVE THEM.

BYLER:

Yeah, I think you already know.

But if you don’t, ENDGAME.

FAV SHIP EVER.

ADORABLE FROM S1-S4.

If they don’t become endgame I will DIE.

110101010101001010101010101010101010299293921/10 💙💛

MILEVEN:

I think there’s a very small possibility of Mileven becoming endgame.

I would LOVE THEM as platonic bffs but just not romantically.

I loved them in s1-s2, but in s3 they just became uninteresting to me.

Overall a 2/10!

RONANCE:

ADORABLE. SO ADORABLE.

I don’t think it’s gonna be endgame but in another universe okay ☹️☹️

I LOVE THEM SMM

Obviously love them the most in s4 😭

1110000101010101010/10 🛐🛐🛐🛐

ELMAX:

LOVE THEM SM

I don’t think it’s gonna be endgame but IT DEFINITELY NEEDS TO GET A HAPPY ENDING WITH A PARALLEL TO THE STARCOURT SCENE IN S3 😭😭💕💕

SO ADORABLE.

LOVED THEM IN S3-S4

1000000000000/10 ‼️‼️‼️

STEDDIE:

I loveeeeee the concept of this but I really don’t think it’s gonna be endgame 😭😭☹️☹️

Definitely wish they would’ve built it up more as a friendship atleast 😞

OFC love them bcs of the FRUITY FOUR 🛐🛐💓💓‼️‼️

7/10, love the concept but I never really saw it as a possibility 😣

JANCY:

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE THEM.

CUTEST THING EVER.

I RLLY HOPE THEYRE ENDGAME. 😣

LITERALLY ALL THE SEASONS BUT ESPECIALLY S2-S3.

✨ A M A Z I N G M A S T E R P I E C E. ✨

10000/10. 💕💕💕

ROCKIE:

We didn’t see ALOT of them but I still LOVE THEM.

DEFINITELY ENDGAME.

LIKE 100000%.

8/10. ENDGAME.

DUZIE:

Super cute 😭😭😭😭

LOVED them in s3 (only one scene BUT THATS OKAY!!!)

10000% endgame.

8/10. Adorable. ☹️💓

STANCY:

I never really saw it IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭

Season 1 was the best season for them I think but I still never really thought they were that cute ☹️

I kinda think theres a SMALL CHANCE of them becoming endgame, and that would literally TEAR APPART THE HEART OF JONATHAN BYERS. 😭😭😭😣😣💔💔💔 (and Robin)

(No one hurts a Byers. NO ONE. 😡😡😡)

Anyway those are all of the ships I can currently think of! 💙💛

[murdrdocs]

can we pls hear your season 3 thoughts 🫶

yes yes yes ofc. spoilers below!!

in general: i feel like s3 was as filler season that showed carmy's regression (in a way) as a chef and a person. if it weren't for luca and richie i probably would've tapped out after ep 6. i also think it was very beautiful and has a few episodes that i'll definitely be rewatching (ep1, ep5, ep6, ep8)

plot wise i thought this season felt a lot slower than the first two. i feel like this season was a bit of a filler season, and felt v much similar to limbo in a way. we had a major thing happen in the first season, a major thing happen in the second, and then this season was just kind of there. but i both like and dislike that. i think if any other show released s3 then it would really weaken the overall run but i dont think s3 of the bear was weak i just thought it was slow.

i think it was very artistically beautiful, especially ep 1. i really liked that episode ive never rlly seen an episode of a show like that before. i liked the more peaceful look into carmy's training (copenhagen carmy!!! and when he was w that one chef and he wore the hat :(( so sweet).

character wise specifically carmy, oh i was fuming. hes so childish once again, he's so stubborn, but i adored how the end was able to show carmy that he wasn't becoming a good person he was just becoming jeff (winger ... i never call the old chef by his real name i always call him jeff bc joel plays jeff in community. i think the chef's name is david).

im praying that sydney stays w the bear bc she could make a difference w adam and it would definitely be easier, but i dont think it would be as rewarding if she didn't do it w everyone at the bear.

no complaints abt the writing. i always believe the writers know what they're doing so i generally have no complaints.

i also cried a bit during ep10. im thinking abt getting an every second counts tattoo. i need to live a happy domestic like w luca in copenhagen or wherever he wants to go.

edit actually:

im back bc ... no what was that ??? like it was shot very nice yeah but there was no development on carmy at all. if there was development it's not gonna happen until after the fuck ass to be continued. im still stuck on carmy and claire because ... claire rlly fucked shit up. i get why claire was added but .. why like why was her character needed in s2?? there just wasn't much development on anyone like at all. marcus' mom died and we barely got marcus scenes. we should've spent more time w him. i liked the sug episode but it was kinda boring im ngl. sydney my beloved could never do anything wrong but atp w the way things r going i want her to go w adam like carmy is dragging everyone else down w him. talking abt perfection and nonnegotiables. anyway idk at the end of the day im just a viewer so ... nothing we can do but wait another year

[figbian]

oooh can we see some of those fences director's cuts 👀👀

yes yes yes!! for those curious here's fences which is um. a time travel fix-it but only in the sense everyone lives... its steve pov which means you get VERY LITTLE info about the plot and whats Actually happening for the other characters, so ive been keeping a "director's cut" as a potential to explain what the hell is going on for everyone else. heres a couple moments from ch1:

“[The dreams] start in early November. Steve can’t remember, at this point, what the first dream is. In his defense, he doesn’t really expect it to happen again. He didn’t know to mark it on the calendar as the first of something important. Steve’s never had that kind of forethought. He’s never had anything happen to him and think: this is going to change my life.” i had the robin/steve scene written pretty much from the beginning. the fic rotates around two scenes: this scene, and the eleven introduction. everything else is just…fic. it’s why i wrote that last line, because the stobin reuniting scene reads: “‘Steve,’ she says, and she’s laughing, and Steve, through his concern and fondness and sudden clarity, thinks, You’re who I was looking for. Steve, for all his lack of foresight, looks at her and knows. Robin Buckley, the weird girl from band who he’s pretty sure is in Nancy’s year—Robin Buckley’s going to change his life.” its all about the stobin, baby! barb in general in this fic is rlly interesting as the foil of eddie in a lot of ways, which kind of makes nancy as steve’s foil… which makes a lot of sense, bcs while this fic doesnt deal w s2 explicitly, it’s most like s2 overall, in that nancy is spiraling bcs of the pretending and steve doesnt know how else to cope. poor barb is coping with her death just like eddie is, and in another version of this fic where it’s nancy pov (which i may very well end up writing) it affects her relationship w nancy in really interesting ways! 

“His hair is shoulder length, for one, and he’s in a flannel. His jeans are black, at least. It’s kind of weird, since Steve can’t actually picture Eddie any other way (maybe he had a buzzed head in middle school? Steve isn’t sure), but it still feels off-putting. Not quite right.” i have a LOT of like. first senior year!eddie thoughts. i spent a lot of time thinking about how ive changed in the past three years, and how i’d changed from 17 to 20, and how that’s been shaped by my surroundings (and how it hasn’t) + how i changed from freshman to senior year. three years is a long time when you’re 17/18. i thought a lot about the kinds of hand-me-downs i received when i was younger & my family was less well off, and kind of matched that w eddie. he receives his leather jacket for christmas from wayne (ill point out the scene where we see it) + in an original draft of fences, he & steve go to the concert where he gets the back patch for his battle jacket in august ‘84. in my mind, he crafts this whole jacket based on the patch (which is cut out from a shirt)––this is loosely based on when my friend made her battle jacket. but ya. in my mind, as eddie fails the more hes like. fuck it. im gonna do what i wanna do. but it also takes time to build a wardrobe, so its still slow going.

Eddie’s got this pleased look on his face. Like Steve passed some sort of test. “You quit or something?” eddie and steve are really interesting (to me) in terms of internalized homophobia. to me. eddie’s always testing steve in fences, seeing how “gay” he’ll go, because eddie still thinks being gay is shameful + assumes steve is ashamed of “gay” behaviors. eddie is simultaneously ashamed of his own “gay” behaviors and ashamed of that shame while expecting it of steve. he thinks he’s mocking steve when he points out what he perceives as “gay” activities, even though what he’s really doing is attacking his own sense of self. i’ll try and point out some instances of this as they come up. meanwhile, steve misinterprets eddie’s internalized homophobia as like. regular homophobia. steve is gay (in that he’s bisexual), and his “gay behaviors” are because of that fact he’s queer, but he’s afraid of eddie noticing because he’s afraid eddie will shun him. steve’s in this really interesting position where he has this half-memory that strengthens over the course of the fic to real knowledge of what it’s like to lose your parents’ support & respect but hasn’t lost that respect yet. he can’t allow himself to be bisexual and keeps trying to “choose” heterosexuality even though that’s not how it works because he’s desperate to get things right this time around and have his parents’ love, even if that means going against what he wants and who he is. for having this dilemma, steve’s parents are notably absent: he will never have their love in the way he craves, and instead what he’s currently experiencing is simply their apathy.

here we go!! with minor spoilers for what will happen next lol... man i miss writing fences so bad! hopefully ill return to it soon bcs its SUCH an interesting piece to write and has made me think so so deeply about the characters and source material. id also like to go back and edit it at some point just to clean up phrasing, fix typos, etc.

[aeirithgainsborough]

Final TLOU ep coming up. Do you think they're going to show Abby at all or save her for the second season? I have a sinking feeling that we'll get at least one scene of Jerry being sooo nice and sympathetic (before he attempts to cut open the brain of an unconsenting child, but I digress), and I bet we will get a brief scene of Abby later finding him dead (probably intercut with Joel lying to Ellie, to really drive home what a villain Joel is so he definitely totally deserves to get beaten to death).

I hope I'm wrong, but with the way they've been shoehorning in "foreshadowing" (aka justification for the dumpster fire that is TLOU 2) I am worried that they are going to fumble this ending.

Any thoughts/opinions/speculation?

at one point i would have said absolutely no, i think its unlikely, but after the dina cameo yeah i think it’s a possibility and im also sure they’re gonna try and show jerry sympathetically. i wonder if they’ll have that flashback convo between marlene/jerry in part 2 in the episode or if it’ll play out largely like in the game with marlene just talking to joel after all the tests. i know one of the complaints when part 2 came out was that they rlly amped up what went down into the hospital and portrayed joel as an unhinged murderer so im wary of them course correcting that and making it far worse than it was - like jerry surrendering and joel killing him anyway instead of threatening joel with a scalpel and saying he won’t joel take ellie. the nurses too - in the game you can ignore them but we will see in the show. im definitely wary for the episode and what they’ll do to make it tie into part 2 and the notion of joel as a villain who deserves to be beaten to death horrifically even though it was the fireflies leading that particular conflict/hostility. the only thing i wonder about that MIGHT make them hold back from showing abby crying over the body is it giving the s2 plot away a bit - ppl will know she’s been shown for a reason. and i gotta say, if they waste too much time on abby and jerry in my 46 minute finale ill be pressed cus i don’t care about either of them LMAO.

[mxstyk13]

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON SPOILERS !!

i love coming on here and blabbing ab shows and movies i just got done watching its so fun lmaoooo

okay no but fr. this WILL be all over the place. alicent in her younger years always looked so depressed and honestly i get it. everytime her and her damn dad interacted i felt so bad for her, like he rlly only gaf ab the throne huh :/. daemon trying to get w rhaenyra sexually as her uncle 🫥 i know its like the 14th century but DAMN. also, the first time skip had me flabbergasted what do u MEAN alicent is pregnant? 🤨 shoulda known sir criston was an insane mf when he got caught for having intercourse w rhaenyra and his first thought was genuinely and srsly “kill me, i deserve it” and then proceeded to try and kill himself, i shoulda fuckin knew. i know they took their oaths seriously but calm down buddy. and i was so sadddd when laenor’s lover boy got killed. again, shoulda known criston was gonna snap when TWO mfs in one day confronted him ab that indecency lmaoooo and my god, GOT and HOD do not gaf ab showing gore my god MY GOD.

what else? alicent got on my absolute nerve in her later years. i know she was just trying to perform the duty and role she was forced into but can u blame me? 😔 and can i just say, that whole house pisses me off? everyone is like off their rocker. the hand aka her father, sir criston, that man with the limp, alicent herself, ALL her damn children except her daughter 😭 aegon but ESPECIALLY aemond show me serious potential to be joffrey 2.0s. nuh uhhhhh

when visery’s, in his sickly state, went above and beyond to make sure the court saw that he wanted her to be heir still and hers would inherit :’) still confused why on his last breath he changed his mind but i digress. daemon is so fine until he show that stinky personality, same for aemond like mannnnnn. sometimes i could forget daemon was truly a d*ck when i focused on that long hair and beautiful face and the kindness he showed sometimes but forever would he remind me 💀 ALSO AYYYYYY love seeinf rhaenyra as queen. and dare i say love it when she ordered men around, what can i sayyyyy what can i sayyyyyy lmaoooo EXAMPLE: how daemon was ab to fight the hand and she simply said no and he put that sword down. i never knew i enjoyed that sm until now, like u better listen. im a lesbian but that enjoyment does not discriminate. AND AHHHHHH SICKENING SICK SICK- when lucerys’ (?) dragon got tore apart and possibly him along with it….. i wanted to be happy when he made it to the clearing but i knew GOT liked to play mind games and i was right. :| i wanna believe he’s alive but, at the end, daemon told rhaenyra ab it. which makes me wonder, how did he know before anyone else? unless he came across his body or personally saw it himself. but then again, idk. but yea. this show had me stressed tf out. i need s2 ASAP RN

[nosleepwriting]

What WN means to me:

i watched it initially for Avatrice, ofc i did. one day during lockdown i randomly saw a crack vid of avatrice and decided to watch it. not even knowing if they end up together or if they kiss or if they become canon. i didnt watch the whole vid so i wont spoil everything, which was weird because ever since lexa, i dont watch shows without knowing that the sapphic couple would be together and happy.

did you know where i stopped? i stopped during the part where ava phased out of the wall, breathless and scared, and beatrice was there to catch her. maybe it was the way she looked, the way kristina's eyes shined as beatrice holding alba's ava in her hands that convinced me that yup these two are in love. or at least bea is. this isnt a crack ship. this is real.

so i watched s1. tbh, im one of the people who thought s1 was slow bec if im being rlly honest, i watched it for avatrice. but i wasnt expecting to love ava, that running on the beach scene loving life, alba's acting of laughing and crying and breathless under the stars with the sand below her and the ocean just in front, and watching THAT during the fucking pandemic ???? that saved me from a lot of dark thoughts swirling in my head. i wasnt expecting a family. a real found family that even when mary and lilith were fighting each other to death you can tell that there's love, there's history. there's sisterhood. i wasnt expecting that from a show with 'Warrior Nun' as a title. and not bec i thought it was silly but bec i thought it was one of those female-led show made for men.

long story short, i finished it. search tumblr for a bit for content, then twitter, then ao3, as one usually does and then nothing. i moved on, peacefully. even if that s1 cliffhanger was far from peaceful. bec i was sure there would be an s2 with that kind of ending. i went on with my life and continued to consume other media.

until october 2022. i didnt even knew they were filming s2. i saw the s2 trailer in yt randomly again. there they were. dancing. i was like how did these two go from fighting an angel?-jesus-like-incarnate in s1 to dancing casually in a bar?? i was scared at first, maybe this isnt the same show that i'll come back to bec lets be honest most s2 of a really good s1 most of a time is a let down. but then i saw the "your jealous" "that's absurd" part and i was like yup those two are in love and im going to watch this just so i can see how they do it.

for extra context (i know this is getting super long but i honestly dont care im doing this for me), im reviewing for the boards and getting invested in anything other than my studies would be really bad. i was catious with what media to consume because i need to focus on my studies. even so, i watched the final ep for context and carry the feeling before watching the first episode. the legendary fucking first episode. the hands behind teasing walk, the kiss cheek, the dance, the stare (i dont have to explain this, u know what im talking about) i replayed all of those moments 10 times bec WOW they weren't holding back.

then everything else. the little moments leading to the big ones were satisfying and so perfectly excuted that i cant even watch it with my girlfriend bec she gets mad that i keep repeating the scenes and slowing them down to take it all in. halfway through s2, i knew i was gonna watch it again. and i only really did that for 2 other shows (shera and the wilds s1, atla and tlok dont count bec i rewatch them periodically and not right after finishing) but u know what i didnt do to those other two that i did with warrior nun? i watched it a third time in a bigger screen just so i can see more. i watched in a 4th time with my girlfriend. i watched it a 5th time just so i can move on with my life and i watched it a 6th time because i missed them and i can't. i watched it a 7th time because i won't. and at this point i lost count at how much i rewatched the show. i would stream it during studying just so i could have them on screen and be inspired with finishing so i can watch them.

im just really heartbroken right now. with all this.

[tfw-no-tennis]

beest warbs s2

andddddd ruth and i finished s2!!

new opening! which is mostly just clips from the s1 finale

ok i guessed that optimus would come back bc like, duh. but i was surprised that he didnt come back like, Instantly 

the new transmetal forms............................ugliy

sorry bhjsdkrhfjkasfk i dont like them....i cant believe im saying it but i prefer the cgi animals from s1 😩 it made sense! it tied into the premise of the show! now theyre just these weird shiny robo-animals...who also can fly and drive around and stuff...nah fam that aint it

cheetor doesnt even have freckles anymore 😭

also as the season went on the whole ‘energon shorts out robot forms, which necessitates beast forms’ thing was kinda quietly dropped, which doesnt make 100% sense since not that many characters got the transmetal forms

the funniest fucking thing is that the s2ep1 summary was literally just ‘terrorsaur and scorponok fucking die’ and THAT WAS IT hjdfksjkfjadfhjlad ruth and i saw that and were like HUH???

and honestly their deaths were so abrupt and unceremonious that i seriously would not have even known they had Legit Died if it hadnt been for that summary. i literally wouldve thought that theyd just end up going in a CR chamber and it wouldve been confusing as hell when they didnt come back lmaooooo

so yeah rip beta cuck and diet diet starscream lite i guess

ok and ep 2 was wild, with dinobot going on ANOTHER Shakespeare soliloquy spree, and then all that western stuff at the end??????

that was so fucking weird and hilarious. wtf 

also have i mentioned...i love dinobot. dramatic gay bitch 

also....new characters! silverbolt and quickstrike are here to quickly replace terrorsaur and scorponok lmaoooo

why does quickstrike have a southern accent when the south doesnt even exist yet as a cultural region

i love how immediately obvious it was that silverbolt was not gonna stay a predacon for long lmao

and then optimus primal returns!! looking wack as FUCK 

hvhakjdfnbskjdf sorry but i dont like his new look at all lmao. he looks weird as hell in both robot mode and “beast” mode, and im not into the whole flying snowboard thing...whats that abt

when dinobot rode around on rattrap vjhsdlfjkashdbhfjk that was so fucking funnyyyy

i cant get over megatrons new form w/the Evil Rollerskates™ thats just. so much lmaooooo but also mood bc if i could i would totally have built-in rollerskates 

did yall know i love tarantulas....that gay mad scientist bitch is hilarious

also i knew ahead of time that silverbolt and blackarachnia have a Thing but it was still soooo Much when they fought and then silverbolt refused to hit her bc shes a girl bsvdkjnfasndf

ruth: OH MY GOD HES A SIMP

ok and the ep where dinobot goes back to the predacons...bro...and everything w/the golden disk too?? that was wild 

ALSO I CANT BELIEVE AIRAZOR AND TIGATRON GOT FUCKING KIDNAPPED??? HELLO????

are they like. coming back? ever????? that was just It for them this season uhhhh so i guess we’ll have to hope they return in s3? omg

also quick shoutout to the infamous japanese dub of beast wars which accidentally made some canon gays by making airazor a dude. great job guys 

ohhhh my god when theres that alien ship thing and megatron is in it and then a big version of his face appears on the side of the ship? horrible

also i feel like beast wars megatron spends half his screentime sitting in various chairs...even when he went into that alien ship he ended up finding a big fancy chair to sit in

so yeah all that alien stuff was WILD. we still know so little abt them so im rlly interested to see if more will come up in s3 (im assuming at least a little since airazor and tigatron have to come back). like, are we gonna learn what theyre trying to do on earth? what they look like? etc?

ok silverbolt is always talking abt how blackarachnia is a good maximal on the inside and she just needs to embrace it etcetc, to me it feels like he’s a religious guy whos trying to get the girl he likes to accept jesus into her heart so they can be together hbvhajkdhbfhjksd sorry 

also silverbolt is hilarious. he’s like, a hammy simp. the way he talks is rlly entertaining lol

also theyve been namedropped a couple times so far, but what the heck is up w/the maximal council or whatever? they seem to be the ones in charge of the maximals (and presumably cybertron?), but we know literally nothing abt them...im curious

ooomg and rampage...everything w/rampage was sooo fucked like him being basically immortal is wild, and then he showed up and was tearing shit up all over the place, and then megatron fucking...removed his spark and was like You Work For Me Now. daymmmm that was so fucked up 

and he seemed to calm down after the first ep so i was like mannn i wish they would address the whole thing where megatrons controlling him - tho the maximals dont even seem to know abt it, they probably just think rampage joined them on his own. oof

and lbr even if they did know, they probably wouldnt be super motivated to free him since rampage attacked them previously, and likely wouldnt join the maximals even if given the choice

oh my god okay hold up i cant forget that DINOBOT FUCKING DIED i cant fucking believe it mate. GOD

i miss that gay moron 😔

also aside but the pre-human monkey people look soooo fucking janky hbvajkdhfjkhsdf god. so bad im sorry

oh my god and the whole thing w/the golden disc saying ‘sounds of earth...’ ruth and i saw that inscription earlier in s2 and ruth was like ‘oh isnt that a real thing, they sent out the Voyager probe into space w/a disc that has different sounds from nature and music and stuff on it called ‘sounds of earth” AND THEN THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT THIS WAS...

i thought that was so cool, the fact that the golden disc could basically be used to look into the future...and then alter the future accordingly

its also super cool that the writers used something from REAL LIFE in the story in such a way. like, thats cool as hell, and idk much media that does so

especially bc beast wars is one of very few transformers series to not include any human characters (discounting the monkey pre-humans), so this is a really cool way to involve humanity without having any recurring human cast members

when dinobot nearly committed seppuku...uhm jesus bro

and then when he fought off all the predacons ALONE, and then FUCKING DIED...that was legit sad as hell...like he kept almost going into stasis lock but kept overriding it which was gonna kill him and AUGH

and then when the maximals show up as he’s dying...mannnn

and his last words - “and the rest is silence.” poetic and quoting Shakespeare until the literal end I see

basically that episode was fucking brutal but also really good. phew

AND THEN ITS FOLLOWED UP BY THE TRANSMUTATE EPISODE...ruth and i watched these two eps back to back in one night and afterwards we were basically braindead. that was A Lot 

the transmutate ep HHHHH where to even start

ok so transmutate...the whole story was just fucking tragic but also. TERRIFYING...

like this ep gave me the same vibes that i got when i watched the movie ET in like 4th grade and got scared as hell 

like, i am a Full Grown Adult and NOT ONLY THAT i had a job in a cadaver lab for like 5 YEARS so i generally am not easily scared but holy SHIT this episode legit unsettled me liiiike

the design and animation (and voice acting) on transmutate were like....terrifying oh my god. like, the way she(?) moved was so scary, with the slow movements and just, everything w/the neck/head....AUGH

and that like, pained screech she did ???? that was just horrible oh my god

anyways literally ruth and i spent this entire ep just like, cowering and yelling out of fear lmao. i went outside in the dark later and i swear i saw transmutate in the shadows. terrifying

in terms of the plot of the ep, that shit was fucked up. it basically amounted to silverbolt and rampage fighting over transmutate w/little regard for transmutate as a person, and ending w/her dying. which was fucked btw

and the fact that everyone was like ‘oh yea transmutate basically doesnt count as an alive sentient being’ was messed up bc they came to that conclusion very quickly and with only a small amount of data....messed up. also messed up is how the maximals suggested putting transmutate in like, a medically induced coma basically, bc she was a freak of nature. which may be true but STILL, that probably violates some ethical laws. arent yall supposed to be the good guys?!

also rampage trying to befriend and save transmutate was sad...especially knowing his circumstances w/megatron and stuff. just Ls all around

ok this cuts off abruptly but thats all folks ig vbajdkfbjksdf

[skyeateyourdonuts]

wait wait wait. some ppl thought azira was ooc for the end s2?? as if it doesnt make complete sense??? and also i actually have issues with most of the theories bc to me it just seems like metatron (a) was in the right position, (b) had the right words, (c) exuded the exact amount of pressure all to get azira to agree like!!! its a manipulation tactic!! he was almost guaranteed to get the angel on board.

to aziraphale tho i think he has a plan. i think theres more things hes contemplating in that elevator than we realize Including that maybe he felt betrayed that crowley didnt trust him?? that crowley wasnt seeing how They could manipulate heaven into both stopping the second coming and changing the system for the better. like just think about it they always make plans to solve things and get each other out of trouble and crowley solved the biggest mystery of s2 so why didnt he trust aziraphale to solve the Next big mystery aka the second coming?? and im not aaying this as me bc they were miscommunicating but i think that was just one of many thoughts azira had in that elevator

"you wont help me ..? :(.... Fine. >:( I can do it myself."

aziraphales priorities by the end of the gabriel conflict are metatron and heaven and where he stands and how theyve been wrong and messed up and how that can change

crowleys priorities are by the end pf the gabriel conflict are talking to aziraphale and sealing the deal that they choose each other.

theyre just on different pages and tho crowley is fully done with heaven and hell and doesnt even want to bother with them anymore, aziraphale does. and not in the "i trust u" way bc i think he doesnt Trust anyone from heaven but he is Fucking Scared!!! of everyone up there and the Ineffable Plan™ and i gotta be honest the solved s1 but it doesnt mean heaven and hell werent gonna try again??

idk im not against either of them and the things they decided to focus on and i just want them to communicate and i have hope that in s3 aziraphale succeeds in stopping the second coming but that he gets some form of help from crowley and thus they have a chance to rlly talk it out and make up <3

* id also like to add that im proud of them for trying to communicate for the first time!! no it didnt go well and yes they resorted to some things that probably hurt one another but that means they have so much room for improvement!!! u make a mistake once, u think it over, and then u know how to solve that situation the right way!! thats just trial and error its how relationships work <3

[cactuseri]

ok. thoughts on tua s3 that nobody asked for or cared about

• mediocre

• idk i felt like it dragged?? and a lot of it kinda came outta nowhere? it felt all over the place in a way that the other seasons didn’t

• viktor was aleady a fave of mine before but god i loved him this season especially. someone else already said this but his body language changed and he seemed so much more comfortable w himself and i love that. i know his transition was more of a last-minute addition bc the script was written before elliot came out, but i rlly like how everything turned out

• are they???? gonna talk about the SA scene?????? that was so uncomfortable i had to skip it

• i miss short haired goth klaus with eyeliner can we please get that back please im begging. generally i just rlly liked the darker tone of s1

• i know there’d be issues with screen time and tone but damn. the siblings rlly watch each another sibling die and are just like “oh no! anyway” like ???? hello?????

• had no fucking idea what was going on . like im sure thats largely thanks to my ADD, i often zone out when they’re talking about the logistics of the time travel bullshit, but… come on

• the setting of the hotel & the fact that it didn’t change kinda bored me too idk. maybe that contributed to my sense that the plot kinda dragged

• did. did sparrow ben and klaus fuck on that pool table? i have so many questions

• possible pseudo-incest aside, though, they were adorable. that ben was looking for klaus the second he woke up, them cuddling on the wedding night — that’s a dynamic i wish they’d spent more time on

• sloane and luther were cute enough i guess (i wouldnt know, i skipped most of their scenes bc i could not stand them) but im not sure if introducing a bunch of new characters when u already have very many is a good idea? i know it was kinda necessary for the plot and all but. still. like i said i’d rather have seen existing dynamics expanded on, instead of giving us this forced romance plot and expecting us to give a shit. can’t they work with what they have??

• oh five founded the commission? like i said in the tags in another post that was somehow 100% illogical but also predictable

• i wanted diego to do some cool shit like in the end of s2 but. thats too much to ask i guess. i was looking forward to other possible power-ups among the other siblings but aside from allison (sorta) and klaus (sorta — like, the audience already kinda knew he could come back from the dead) that just,, didnt happen. cool. can they at least tell us how ben died. give me Something

• yeah idk i just kinda felt like the writers weren’t even trying anymore

thanks for coming to my TED talk. will probably delete this when i’m sober, good night

[driflew]

beholden outlines and notes

i got a review on beholden yesterday who pointed out its been, yknow, well over a year since i updated the fic. obviously those of you following me here know ive been writing other stuff, and so it shouldn't come as a surprise that im not rlly planning to go back to working on it

why? other than getting into another fandom, i honestly just wasnt really happy w how the fic was turning out. i loved s1, but s2 i just wasnt liking as much. and as much as i was excited for how s2 (and the fic in general) would have ended, i just couldnt get myself to keep working and Get there. besides that, i started beholden on quarantine, and when class/work started up, i simply didnt have the time to write so much. beholden was already 70k. to finish would have probs doubled the length, and that's not time i could dedicate

as such, ive decided to post my outlines/notes for what the rest of beholden Would have been if id ever gotten to finishing it. this is, i guess, my final sendoff for beholden. here's every doc / outline i had guiding my writing of this fic

ill say in advance this fic was a mix of plotting and pantsing, so not everything in the outline is completely fleshed out. but the main beats are there, esp in scenes i was more confident about

...these also weren't meant to be viewed by anyone but me, so they might be sort of confusing/under-explained. il add a bit of commentary/context when i can

first, here's my detail on how the rest of season two would have gone:

NOV 3: Jordan Kennedy statement

toll his Knowing and rereading old statements

talk about Peter! self-isolation as a way to 

1. Ready himself and his friends for his death, by not being too deeply attached, 

2. Keep peter and elias’s attention on him rather than his assistants, 

3. Get peter to agree to yeet any threats into the Lonely, to keep his marks low

Dust to Dust. michael shelley is there. implies jon might have known abt the tapes all along and they could very well be the secret?? 

does this implicate michael in gertrude’s murder

Tim and Martin have an argument at flat while the three of them are listening to tapes. 

Jon has been guiding, but Tim worries he may be guiding Away from the truth (paranoid)

Martin worries Tim is so focused on finding Jon’s secret he’s getting distant from Jon. 

They’ve been listening to tapes at Martin and Tim’s whenever possible. 

martin’s tired of it! hes doing work at home basically, and tim’s kind of erratic now that hes got the idea in his head jon might be a monster. it worries martin too but he knows that even w the shit jon pulls he IS their friend

sasha’s gonna have. Thoughts abt the Michael thing as well, given Michael and Jon clearly have some kind of shared past / understanding

something something… Michael talks about a shared past, Jon about reverting the Change… they both worked with Gertrude…… Gertrude and Jon reverting “the Change”??

but what the fuck is the Change? what “changed”??? why did they need to undo it? why do only they remember it? do they need to prevent it from “changing” again?

could she talk to Michael?

WHERE DID THIS PLOT COME FROM 

Group intervention, 

Martin trying to make them stop being so suspicious of each other. Gearing up for the “if we were all happy would that be so bad” bit

DEC 1: Daisy drops by in place of Basira to give a statement / talk to tim. Jon half avoids this one bc 1, not feeding on a friend, 2, daisy will Kill him if hes noticeably not human (esp since she figured it out thru him changing in her dreams last time)

asks Tim about the nathaniel thorp statement. she wants to see it. 

looked back into the guy. he wasn’t named nathaniel thorp, but its been a long time. she’s not about to rule out a fake name

JAN 7: Tessa Winters 

WHAT HAPPENED IN CANON:

tim and jon argue

martin tells jon to fix shit w tim

not them encounter in the tunnels

talk to elias

JAN 25: Caroline Gorka

Jon takes this one. hungry

jons on his isolation arc

FEB 11: Maxwell Rainer raid

Feb13: Melanie statement 2

Tim bumps into in the library while researching and asks her abt what she’s been researching. she talks abt the notThem, and the table, and the statements Jon has given her copies of. Tim frowns and tell her that they know where the table is, it’s here, why would Jon lie about that… unless…? they decide fuck the library and fuck work and just leave

they do some research into jon’s past. Tim, Melanie, and Georgie go thru Georgie’s old pictures, but she doesnt have any (messy breakup… she got rid of most of it). talk abt the sudden personality change, etc. 

Tim decides that he must have changed. they talk abt how there’s usually someone who can see the difference, and Tim decides that since it isn’t any of them, it must be someone else in the institute. he asks around about what people think Jonathan Sims looks like, and “rosie” pauses before describing a complete stranger. tall, close-cropped hair, broad shoulders. and then this strange short man came in and she assumed they must have fired Sims, since he really wasn’t qualified, and hired some other Jon…

and that’s it. that must be. jon’s dead and this thing replaced him. 

Feb 16: axe to table

Tim calls Daisy, since she has experience killing these things. Melanie and Georgie decide to help—Melanie bc she was researching them, and Georgie bc that was her friend. Basira tags along too. Tim tells Martin and Sasha that they should come w him (without explaining), and to not tell Jon. rosie is more than happy to let them thru to artifact storage.

they all go, Tim explains that Jon is NOT Jon, and he’s going to prove it. then he turns around and puts an axe through the table

Jon shows up and is like. rosie wouldn’t let me in please tell me you didnt break the table. and Tim is like its too late, you bastard Jon-killer! 

chaos. 

dunno how this bit goes BUT 

shouting match in which they both talk abt rosie, and Martin realizes that rosie has been replaced

daisy attacks Jon and he panics, sending her to the Lonely as per the deal w Lukas. thats a problem! but also this fic equivalent of the buried

notRosie attacks, and the rest of them escape. idk how. Jon gets them to the tunnels probably? barricades them in the archvies? they deal w notRosie somehow. 

Jon has to come clean! its time t explain everything!

this might be a separate chapter. end on a cliffhanger and then in the new chapter Jon must explain….

new exposition dump chapter! here’s everything Jon has to explain (or not explain)

he is a time traveller, sort of, having sent his own memories back in time

he knew all of them (and daisy). all of them died. the world ended. he’s here to prevent it

probably toes the line between “it was my fault” and “im on your side.” yes he caused their deaths. no he doesnt want to cause them again. everything he’s done has been to stop those deaths from happening again.

explains he had to hide it because of Elias. probably explains how serious he is about this by explaining how he blinded himself to keep things from Elias and the Eye

…which leads him to explain shit like the Eye, the entities, the rituals, etc. 

which is a great lead-in to the Unknowing!

stresses repeatedly that he’s being honest, he’s telling them a lot and he’s willing to admit everything, but keeps two things to himself: he and Martin dated, and he’s going to kill himself in the Unknowing

...and that would have been s2! i was really excited for the not-Jon thing, but never got to it.

anyway. i also had these two notes at the end of the doc as things to consider in my writing of jon's interactions with Sasha and Tim

“sasha is jon’s favorite, theyre probably comfortable with each other”

“jon’s got stronger memories / more memories of tim hating him than tim being his friend, thats gotta be weird for how he feels about tim”

speaking of Tim, i ALSO have a doc specifically for guiding tim's arc. sasha's arc was mostly me rolling with the punches and working with what i thought she might be able to figure out, but Tim i had the beats planned more directly

TIM PLOT OUTLINE

peter lukas props Isn't human, jon Is helping him

jon is doing other shady shit, helping michael (also not human)

jon is very pointedly guiding them towards the unknowing but not saying what he knows or why

research avatars and learn ppl can lose their humanity / become monsters.

combine melanie's info on ppl replaced, like the notThem

horrible conclusion: on either was human and isn't anymore, or really isn't jon. were they ever even friends with jon?

(worth noting: if Jon truly was replaced when his personality changed, then all their moments of being genuinely close came after that. the person he is close friends with is not Jon. its the thing that killed Jon. the realization he “never actually got to befriend Jon at all” is going to do weird things to his heart, im sure)

(remember the table? tim can compare notes having seen it w melanie, who has been looking into the notThem) (statement info plus it now being revealed

jon is hiding shit from melanie as well) maybe have georgie in here looking for polaroid images or tape recordings of jon from college, which she can't find. no way to confirm he is who he's supposed to be

basira and daisy.…... basira can tell tim and sasha she's sectioned and that daisy believes Jon isn't human

AS FOR THE REST OF THE FIC...

when i started writing beholden, i plotted out the entire fic. i did s1 in detail, and s2 and three in... not a lot of detail. when i started s2, i made a new doc and more detailed outline, which is what i showed above. as i never got to s3, the s3 outline is... not super in-depth. had i made it to s3, i would have fleshed it out more, but alas. anyway, here's what i had:

Everyone knows MOSTLY whats up. 

There needs to be trust building! rights for jonmartin?

Jon plans to kill Elias after the Unknowing. Hes barely human, his friends are okay, and if they destroy the institute after his death, there shouldnt be any danger. In getting htem to trust him he accidentally forgets this means theyll be attached to him and wont Want him to die

elias now has to go on the offensive to get jon marked. Entities jon needs to be marked by still: buried, dark, desolation, end, flesh, hunt, lonely, slaughter, stranger, vast

At some point in this season, they have to find out what Jon’s real plan is 

FEB 17: starts. Does anything need to go here? Jon isnt on the lam. I guess re-bonding. Since most of them thought he was guilty of murder. Less “heres the past i remember” and more direct talk on his actual plan (but vague on how he plans to do the actual killing). can explain that hes not any more human than elias is. Also that they cant just Kill Elias or else it will kill all of them, but jon has a plan (that he cant tell the others, bc elias can read minds! Thats def why he cant tell them the plan)

APRIL 24: jude perry. If Jon wont go to her, Elias probably needs to bring her to Jon… oof. I think Tim is gonna get hurt by the desolation. 

Im putting the confrontation w elias here. Elias probably Knows what Jon is planning (or at least that hes planning to kill Jon, but not how) and Jon demands to know why the others are hurt. Learns Elias doesn need jon alive or to be The Archivist, it can be anyone, and elias isnt afraid to get a second one if he has to

APRIL 28: mike crew

...probably Simon this time, since Elias i think could get him to visit the MI anyway

Also I want to vaporize simon fairchild

Which i guess means jon avatar moments, which i want/need anyway

Unknown date: jon gets kidnapped by the stranger. Helen kills Michael simply bc i like Helen more. i will find real justification for this by the time i get here, probably

Coming back from being kidnapped is rough for jon bc he hasnt Known in a while or relied on his powers too much but, uh, hes starving

Assistants helping jon manage his inhumanity, which is uh… a tense issue, im sure. But theyre more sympathetic bc they like him more and also he did give up his humanity for them. having several anchors will make it all easier to manage

JUNE 29: is in the USA, is kidnapped by Trevor and Julia. Probably gets a Hunt injury here, since hes clearly not human, 

I think the fact jon had to leave the country to do this alone for some reason right now while theyre preparing for the unknowing stuff raises questions. Why cant this wait until after elias is dead??

before the unknowing, Jon records a tape explaining that killing the archivist means everyone else will be freed from the institute, to be listened to after he kills himself in the unknowing. He lists elias’s weakness of being in the panopticon, mentions leitner in the tunnels may be able to lead them. its a goodbye tape, saying sorry for lying about this last thing, and this is sort of his penance for killing them and the world. he can die instead this time, satisfied with saving the rest of them and confident they can finish out the rest of saving the world now that hes helped them survive and given them the tools to take down Elias. fic equivalent of testament, i guess?

AUG 6: plant explosives at the wax museum. They dont actually have to detonate during the unknowing, since the ritual would fail anyway, so? They can probs just blow it up right before while the circus is in the building getting ready, without getting Strange

I think same crew as canon go. Since theyre not waiting for the actual event or anything and are going beforehand, these were the ppl who knew how to set up the bomb and all

Jon plans to tell them he’s on the other side of the building, watching for anything that might come out and escape to kill it. He’ll text tim when hes there and tell tim to detonate. (

Jon actually plans to go inside, sit down w a bomb, and tell tim to detonate w him inside. So he’ll die and they’ll be free to kill elias

(he still wants to give Tim the option to get revenge on the circus, and sort of Still feels like. yknow, if Tim detonated it on him once, it'll be fine to do it again)

(will be fun to have Tim and Jon talk afterwards abt how Tim feels about Jon planning to use Tim to kill himself)

Sasha listens to the tape Jon left, figures out its jon’s suicide note, and calls tim immediately to stop him from detonating. She doesnt listen to the whole thing, just like. enough to hear the tone of jon's voice and Realize. Tim and Basira go in to stop/help Jon

and thats season 3! as i said, not particularly fleshed out. it def needed a lot of work, and besides, i wanted to flesh it out more when i had written more of s1 and s2, since i think its easier to do once you know what's actually on your page. but. didnt happen, clearly.

...you might be looking at these bullets and thinking "wait, wasnt there a bullet point about sending daisy into the lonely at the end of s2? where did that plot go?" and the answer is: it didnt exist when i started plotting the fic, but it was added later. i hadn't yet fleshed it out fully, but it would have worked similarly to pulling daisy out of the buried. i hadn't yet decided when to pull her out or whether the person o do so would be Jon or Basira. Jon would have gone and had a similar moment as the coffin where they bonded over losing their humanity, while Basira it would have been similar to the s5 plot line in which Basira had to take a long hard look at the stuff she allowed daisy to pull (since, yknow, you need to See someone to find them in the Lonely). i hadn't got far enough to figure out the details, tho, but figuring out what to do with daisy was something i found... particularly tricky, considering her character

ANYWAY. in addition to all this, i had, uh, a whopping THREE bullet points for "season four," which was basically rolled into arc three

They need a new plan to kill elias and i have no fucking idea what that plan is

Nvm. gertrude was gonna blow up the institute so thats what jon will do. Hes strong enough to survive and everyone else will be able to w the institute gone

...burn employment contracts? So they dont all die?

...that was all.

another thing i had decided (but not written down) while working on s2, however, that i didnt want to do "season four" and that i wanted to end at the unknowing. my plan was that id figure out what to do when i got closer to the end and had more information on what had transpired in fic. i think my vague plan was essentially "once they find out Jon was going to sacrifice himself they make him Not and do some shit to take the Institute down in that moment, based in the idea of destroying the institute."

one thing i wanted to do what play around with the fact the eye canonically favors Jon over Elias/Jonag and the fact that the lives of the assistants are tied to Jon, and see about burning the institute to weaken jonah further. if Jon was more powerful/favored, perhaps he could supercede jonah's power and thus, when jonah died, the lives of the institute employees could be tied to Jon instead? or something? i wasnt sure, esp w Jon being less favorable/weaker in this fic than canon.

the ending bit i was excited for was the unknowing, and everything that came after was just sort of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

.....well! that's everything, i think! not all the way polished, but these were the ideas i had for how beholden would have gone. i also had two scenes half-written for the next chapter, and a random scene of flashbacks written on how the original cast died (written before daisy died in canon). i might post that as well, like, later

if you've read this far, thanks for still being interested in beholden! i cant express enough how grateful i am for all the support i received on this fic, including the fact that im receiving comments on it even now. it was a lot of fun to work on, even if i dont plan on finishing it. i hope seeing my notes, however patchy, helps you get a bit of closure on how this fic would have gone!

and, finally, if you'll allow me to be a bit silly: i love you, Beholden. sorry for never getting around to wrapping you up, but im so proud of you and grateful to you for existing. youre the most writing ive ever done in a single piece, and im thrilled to have you to show for how much i can get done if i really put my mind to it