#like it's fine if you thought the romance was forced (i don't agree with you though because there were indications of interest from both

[ihopeiexplode]

📱 “heaven knows I'm miserable now”

[←Previous | Next→]

—

—

you were sitting on your couch with some snacks laid out in front of you as you were about to play a movie while it rained heavily outside, however before you could even hit play on your remote suddenly you heard some knocking on your front door

You get up from your couch to open your door. Who would knock on your door in the dead of night while it's raining? as you opened the door you saw none other than Sukuna, drenched in rain holding a bouquet of flowers along with a box that seemed like it was filled with all your favorite food

should you let him in or let him stay out in the rain?

while you were thinking of a decision suddenly he spoke up

"before you close the door I just wanted to say, uhm.. I'm..sorry for everything I said back then...."

judging by the tone of his voice you could tell someone forced him to say this, not to mention his facial expression as well...

"okay? is that all?"

"yes"

"Who told you to do it?"

"uraume"

"figured, but how come you agreed?"

"I was forced to"

without another thought you just slammed the door in his face, your not accepting an apology from someone who didn't mean it and just apologized because someone told him to

then again you felt slightly bad leaving him out there drenched in rain, you'd sigh before opening your door once again

"come in..."

the moment he stepped in he immediately soaked up your floor, you'd go towards your room to grab him a towel, and when you came back you'd wrap it around him

''sit down ill dry you up"

"I can do it myself"

"Sure you could"

actually, he didn't even want to go against your idea, he really was hoping you'd be the one to dry him up the moment you wrapped him around with your towel,

as he took a seat on your chair while you stood behind him drying up his hair without saying a word, usually the silence between you two would feel comforting to him but this one felt different, he could tell you were still mad at him,

he should try apologizing like he means it this time..

"y/n listen, I'm sorry I'm not good with my words but I'm sorry like I really am i know it sounds like I don't mean it but I do, uhm I'm also sorry about the flowers and food, and there probably soggy"

this time you could tell he was actually sincere about his apology which is..odd for Sukuna, but you'll take what you can get out of him

"I guess I could forgive you"

"wait actually"

"Don't make me take it back"

he really didn't expect you to forgive him, if anything he thought you'd just ignore his apology, you'd continue drying him off by you'll eventually get startled by the sudden thunder strike outside, then you'd notice how it started raining heavier than it before

"you should stay"

"why? it's just some rain ill be fine"

"If you wanna get struck by thunder be my guest"

Will he tell you he used his car instead of his motorcycle to get here? no, of course not if he told you he just passed on a good opportunity to stay at your house why would he pass on the opportunity to stay over at your house

—

when you were finally done drying him off you'd put away the towel before sitting back on your couch

"wanna watch a movie with me?"

"yeah sure i dont mind"

"oh yeah thx for the flowers and food by the way, even if there soggy"

"You're welcome"

—

both you and Sukuna would be sitting right next to each other with a blanket around you two while you guys watched some romance movie, if anything sukuna felt bored out of his mind.

about half an hour into the movie he'd notice how you fell asleep as your head rested on his shoulder, do you always fall asleep during movies? this is the second time this happened..

he sighed before turning off your TV, carrying you bridal style as he made his way towards your room

—

as he placed you down on your bed as he placed a blanket over you, he was planning on sleeping on your couch, but before he could leave suddenly it thundered once again causing you to grab onto his arm as you were startled

he would just sigh once more before laying down next to you, as he did he noticed how you started to calm down, eventually he'll wrap his arms around you pulling you close with your face against his chest before he eventually drifted off to sleep

—

[⛩️] @: Likes & Reblogs R appreciated! ^^

A/N: Idk what my titles should be so I'm using song names🔥🔥💥🗣️🗣️‼️

Taglist: @catobsessedlady @hellomeow12 @0-candlecove-0 @shivzypuff @swirlingcurses @1-800-choke-that-ho @attackonnat @chilichopsticks @getoxmahito @memenojutsu @uhnanix @ichorstainedskin @needtoloveoutloud @love-me-satoru @s-j320 @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @goj0sunglasses @svtvrnal @haitanibros0007 @punkhazardlaw @mslydiaa @jayathelostdragon @caileysdead @rixyaaaa @minzxec @rzcnlb @cadibearrr

[spaceorphan18]

Ranking Bridgerton Season 3 Episodes

After sitting with this season the past month, I kind of wanted to see how a ranking would go (and those of you who know me, know I love a good ranking). These are 100% subjective opinions, and I don't expect anyone else to agree. More so did it out of the fun of it. :)

8. Forces of Nature (Episode 3)

I don't actually think there is a bad episode of this season. Truly. After really sitting with this season, thinking it over, even agreeing that there isn't enough Polin and some of the subplots could have been stronger (or not existed at all), I think all of these episodes are pretty stellar. But one of them had to be placed last, and after combing through all of them, it's episode 3.

There is actually a lot I like in this episode - Colin spending the whole episode pining for Pen, the ridiculous and romantic dream fantasy, the awkwardly cute willow scene, the angsty cake scene, Colin asking his mother for advice and awkwardly trying to figure his shit out, loved it. I also really enjoyed Debling and the development of that story as an alternative option for Pen.

What really bogs this episode down, and consequently pushes it to the bottom, is that it's also the culprit for braiding in all of the seemingly many subplots. I don't necessarily think any of them are bad on their own, but it feels like so much that it's too much at times.

We get Lord Kilmartin's introduction (yes, great), Lord Anderson (yeah, okay), Lady Tilly (ooff, fine), The Mondrichs (why are they here again?), the stuff with the Queen (this was just weak in general), and development of Cressida (it works in conjunction with LW, but idk if it holds up on rewatches?). It's just a lot and the main characters (unfortunately, especially Colin) get pushed a little to the side.

7. Romancing Mister Bridgerton (Episode 6)

This is the episode that when I first watched it, I straight up thought it wasn't that good. I've honestly changed my opinion on it a lot, but I do understand why I originally felt that way.

I love LOVE the first half of this episode. We get to have Pen and Colin in a little bit of a honeymoon stage -- the engagement ring scene is brilliant, everything at the church is brilliant, even the stuff at the Mondrich ball... It's truly delicious. And I love Colin just being soft with his sister and at the Mondrich bar scene. And then I do love the Lady Whistledown aspect of it -- Pen dealing with whether or not she wants to continue. There's some great Eloise stuff in here, too. And even Cressida pretending to be Whistledown was handled decently.

But, like episode 3, this episode was saddled with a ton of side plots, where the scenes just go on and on and on because they're the meat of some of these side plots. I don't know if they needed to be balanced better or parceled out better, I don't know. But the long stretches without any Polin, or much Pen or Colin in general in the second half is why this episode ended up lower.

I think the only reason it's moved up a spot is that I do love the Polin we do get more than what's in episode 3. Also, the last few moments of Colin discovering Pen is Lady Whistledown is an excellent cliffhanger.

6. Out of the Shadows (Episode 1)

I do think the season opener is solidly good! I actually really love Pen getting her transformation and the ridiculous of Colin (attempting) swagger as he comes back into town. I love that we don't beat around the bush, and the two of them really get to the heart of their issues right off the bat and it sets up the entire season really nicely. Plus, their dynamic as never sparkled any better -- it's truly a treat to see the two of them back on screen.

The rest of the episode works pretty well, too. The tension between Pen and Eloise is great -- and kicks off one of my favorite arcs of the season. Francesca's (re-)introduction is wonderful. There's some truly brilliant Bridgerton sibling stuff, as well as Anthony and Kate being on the top of their game. It's also got some breathing room as we haven't established the nineteen other plot lines going on this season (though the Mondrich stuff feels a little sluggish).

The only reason this episode is as low as it is -- is because I just like everything else more.

5. Joining of Hands (Episode 7)

It pains me to have this episode as low as it is because I love so much of it. The Polin stuff in this episode is just delicious. I love the tension after Colin finds out that Pen is Lady Whistledown. I love the brutalness of the first argument and the angst, longing, and actually working through some of their shit (as well as the spiciness) of their argument outside the Modeste.

I love that they still get married despite having unresolved conflict, and that their love transcend set backs. And that wedding dance is absolutely gorgeous.

Plus - we get some great Bridgerton in general stuff -- Eloise and Pen are on their way to repairing their relationship, Colin and Eloise get some great moments, Benedict is adorable at the 'bachelor' party, and Anthony and Kate are amazing in everything that they do (I love LOVE the scene with Kate, Anthony, and Colin).

The episode does have some weaker aspects - I don't care all that much about Violet and Lord Anderson nor Benedict and Lady Tilly (even if I'm all here for Benedict's bisexual awakening). But the subplots don't really weigh everything down as much, and it's a solidly good Polin episode.

4. Into the Light (Episode 8)

The Season Finale! I honestly toggled between episodes 7 and 8 and where they went, and I think maybe on a different day I could be persuaded to switch them, but I think what really sells me is everything from the Butterfly Ball onward. The ending is gorgeous, Pen's story wraps up brilliantly, Colin's grand speech was beautiful, the epilogue was pitch perfect, and all of the storylines work out in a great way, setting up threads for future seasons (obviously, Benedict is next but Eloise and Francesca are getting some good stuff, too.)

My only issue with the end of Pen and Colin's story is that I wanted more resolution to their story. The twenty seconds of make-up sex felt like not enough, and I do hope that they rectify this in Season 4. (Which I have a feeling they will.)

There are some really great things leading up to the ending as well -- I love that Pen and her mother kind of come to terms with each other and finally that relationship is being restored, as well as the Featherington sisters blooming into decent people. I also LOVE the reconciliation of Pen and Eloise. And while the blackmail plot could have been a little stronger (Cressida's whimper out was a little weak) I honestly love Colin's scene with Cressida. (As well as the hilarity of Portia, Eloise, and Colin being the ones to try to help Pen deal with it all.)

It's not perfect episode -- there's the seemingly never ending threeway with Benedict (as well as the fact that Benedict desperately needs next season because his character feels aimless at this point), and Francesca's wedding, while sweet, felt like it pushed Pen and Colin a little out of the limelight for a little too long in the middle. But pacing might have been the biggest issue of the episode. It's otherwise a great episode and a solid ending.

3. Old Friends (Episode 4)

So here's the thing. Here is the thing I've been really thinking about while putting this together. It's a testament to the carriage scene and, honestly, everything from the last twenty-ish minutes of this episode because without it, I'm not sure this episode would be that high. Pen and Colin get ZERO screen time together until the end (and I suppose that's somewhat intentional) you really start to feel it as the episode goes on.

But the tension of this episode is fantastic. Pen bonding with Debling, beginning to accept that this is her best option with pressure from Portia... Colin dealing with his own feelings and downward spiraling (though I do wish we had gotten more of him). It's really, really well done. And then the last twenty minutes is just solidly amazing. All of it. Fantastic. It's just captivating.

And then, of course, the carriage scene -- one of the best (possibly the best??) scenes of the entire show. I could wax poetic about the carriage scene for days...

This is another episode that does feel like it's saddled with too many subplots, and pacing issues, because they're withholding the Polin stuff until the very end and it almost feels like a trudge to get there at points. But it's well worth the wait -- and enough of an amazing payoff that I have this episode so high.

2. How Bright the Moon (Episode 2)

I just fucking adore this episode. Like so much. It is a romantic comedy at its finest with one of the most beautiful first kiss sequences I've ever seen. I love everything this episode chooses to be.

First of all, there's just so MUCH content for Pen and Colin, and we really get to see their FREINDSHIP at play here. (As well as Nicola Coughlan's amazing comedic chops - she shines in every scene here.) Everything between the two of them is brilliant and hilarious and awkward and funny and really, I could have watched a whole season of just this ridiculous rom-com trope-y stuff. Because they're both so good at it. Because it's just so delicious and wonderful.

We also get some of the best comedy of the show in the scene with Portia explaining sex to the Featherington sisters. And some truly great moments with Eloise, too. The rest of the side plots don't feel as heavy as they don't over shadow what's going on with Pen and Colin.

And then that last scene, the beautiful, fairy tale, fantasty-esque, shot like an Old Hollywood film first kiss that is truly breathtaking. This episode just wins all the things.

1. Tick Tock (Episode 5)

Like it was going to be anything else ;)

But no, here's my thing. It's not just the awkwardly beautiful ten minute sex scene of this episode that has me placing it on top. No, really, even if I think the mirror scene is incredible and breathtaking in it's own right.

This episode is solidly for Pen and Colin. And in a season that sometimes struggles to find good balance, this episode (and episode 2 really) are the only ones that really feel like the fully feature Pen and Colin, so it's no coincidence they end up taking the top spots.

The first half of the episode is just a continuation of the amazingness that is the ending of episode 4. The engagement announcement, the hilariously wonderful ABC Bros scene, Colin telling off Portia, Pen and Colin being so soft and sweet with each other during sex, the aftercare cuddling on the satee, the carriage ride.... it's all so, so good, I love it so much.

There's also some great stuff going on around Polin -- Kate and Anthony are back, Eloise has some great stuff, the Cressida plot is hitting its stride, the Queen is adding tension, the Lady Whistledown plot is getting turned up to eleven...

The second half of the episode is also incredibly strong, as it mostly takes place during the engagement party and the tension during that whole sequence is fantastic. All the little plot threads are getting pulled at in a way that works well being woven in together. It's GREAT drama and it really pushes this episode to be the season's finest hour.

This episode just works all the way through. It's got such lush, romantic Pen and Colin that I keep coming back to, some crazy tension built in to ramp up the drama, the characters all just so much fun to watch. This episode is amazing, and truly deserves to be at the top of the list.

And that's my list!! Thanks for reading!! :)

[cressidagrey]

Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours- Chapter 6: Oriana Fireborn Belmond, Goldsmith, Enchantress, Mate

Summary:

5 Times Cassian thought that Azriel had feelings for somebody and then 1 time he finally met the girl his brother was in love with.

Warnings:

Rhys Bashing

Notes:

I put a lot of world building into this. If you don't recognise it from canon, I probably invented. Or I forgot that canon existed.

(thanks to @firefly-graphics for the super pretty dividers!)

“Where’s Az?” Cassian asked. They were supposed to have their weekly meeting at the River House. Rhys was there, of course, he was…but Azriel was nowhere to be seen. 

“He’s not with you?” Rhys asked, brows furrowing. 

“No. I thought he was in Winter?” There had been talk about exchanging intelligence with the Winter Court in connection to Spring and whatever Tamlin was up to these days. 

“He came home last evening. The whole thing was a bust,” Rhys said with a sigh. “He got stuck in a bloody ravine,” he recounted with a shake of his head. 

Cassian pulled a grimace. That didn’t sound particularly great. 

“How bad was it?” he asked. “Was he hurt badly?”

“He said he was fine,” Rhys waved him off.” 

“And you believed him?” Cassian asked incredulously. He highly doubted that one could just walk off a freaking ravine. Even with the quick healing of a High Fae. 

“He’s a grown-up,” Rhys said tightly. “Besides, my worry wasn’t appreciated.”

“Have you tried reaching out?” Cassian wondered. “It’s not like him to be late.” Azriel was punctual to a fault. 

He watched Rhys's expression tighten for a moment in concentration and Cassian waited. 

Rhys swallowed. 

“Nothing,” he finally said quietly. “I get absolutely nothing , Cass. He’s not out of my range, but I get nothing .”

That…That really wasn’t good. 

He wasn’t dead. That was something though.

“That’s not good ,” he breathed. It was absolutely horrible. Because it meant that Azriel wasn’t simply asleep. Even if knocked out, Rhys would probably be able to get something. But to get nothing? Nothing at all?

“No,” Rhys agreed. 

“I’ll go check on his house,” Cassian volunteered. “It’s as good a place to start as any.” Especially when the reason why Azriel couldn’t talk to Rhys was far worse than what they imagined. “See if he arrived back home.”

“I’ll check in with Nuala and Cerridwen,” Rys agreed.  “Let me know once you know.” Rhys hesitated for a moment. “Thank you, Cassian.”

“He’s my brother too,” Cassian gave back quietly. “Let me know if you get anything.”

The worry that churned in his gut…that was something else entirely as Cassian took flight towards Azriel’s house. 

If he was asleep Rhys would have been able to prod him awake, if he was knocked out, Rhys would probably get something. But to get nothing? That wasn’t good at all. 

He landed in the forest and then he promptly needed 5 minutes, before he realised that the wards that were set around the property had been gently redirecting Cassian away from it, without him even knowing. 

He had never experienced something like that. 

It pissed him off to no avail, that much was certain though.

They were also definitely not set by Azriel’s magic. He knew his brother's magic, knew the taste and feel of it, the way it moved…

Rhys’ magic felt like an avalanche. Azriel’s magic felt like the eye of a storm, perfectly still until it wasn’t, turning into a hurricane in a blink. 

And this magic…this magic was different from anything he had ever felt in his fucking life. 

It was similar still to Azriel’s…but it heated in warning when Cassian pushed back against it. 

And then because he was a fucking idiot, Cassian decided that using brute magical strength to force himself through these wards was the way to go. 

The magic turned into a fucking inferno in response.

The fact that it burned off half of his fucking hair did not make it any better either. 

The magic receded and he tackled the female that was waiting for him into the ground before she could do anything to him. 

“Who are you?” He demanded his knife pressing against her throat. He was quite certain as he took her in that he had never seen a Fae that looked like her. And she was a High Fae, her ears gave that away.

Her skin was pitch black, her hair the same colour braided away from her face…lips painted a deep berry colour. 

She didn’t say a word, didn’t need to, not when her eyes, her fucking eyes, gave it all away. 

If her magic had seemed like fire, her eyes were the fire. There was hellfire burning in them, faces flickering like they would reach out and burn him at a moment’s notice.

“You destroyed my ward!” She hissed at him.

“You burned off my hair!” He snapped right back at her. 

“You are holding a knife to my throat!”

Well, he did. Then it grew so hot in his hand that he had no choice but to let it clatter against the floor where it turned into a bloody puddle of metal. 

“You melted that!“ He realised as he saw the expression on her face. He moved to replace his knife with his bare hands but her skin was so hot against his, that he was sure he was going to have blisters all over his hands if he kept that up. 

And then her hand moved far quicker than he had thought she would be able and she had a knife in her own hand. He caught her wrist before she could stab him with it, glaring at her. 

“Who are you?” He asked her. What was she? 

“Who are you?” She snapped right back at him. “You are the one who destroyed my wards !”

“You are the one who is here at my brother’s house !“ he snapped.

The last thing he had expected was for her to relax against the ground, no longer fighting against him and looking at him with her eyes still blazing…and then she said three words: “I live here.”

“You live here,“ he repeated unbelievingly. And then as he took a breath, suddenly her scent caught in his nose. 

His brother‘s scent was all over her. Azriel’s scent. 

Mist and cedar…now joined with jasmine and burning wood. There wasn’t a single question left. 

 “You are Azriel’s mate,“ he realised, staring at her. She stared right back, unflinching. 

He had spent weeks thinking about who Azriel was seeing and now there she was. Right in front of him. Literally nothing like what he had expected. 

But then… Azriel had always chosen the unexpected. 

“Wow, you are a genius,” she drawled. Her voice was dripping with disdain.“What gave it away, the fact that I am in his house or that I smell like him?” 

“You…since when…” he stuttered. This wasn’t how he had expected this to go down. He had thought that one day, Azriel was going to bring her to dinner and they would all get to meet her. And not that he would tackle her to the floor and she would melt his fucking knife. “How?” He blurted out. 

“I think you know how mating works, Oh mighty Lord of Bloodshed.“ She was talking to him like he was an idiot and he was pretty sure that he deserved it. 

“Azriel has never mentioned you,“ he defended himself. 

“Then maybe you should think about why .“ Her words were piercing. He could just stare at her, as she shifted underneath him. 

When Azriel found out about that he was going to kill him. Cassian was certain of that.

“Truce?” He suggested.

“Get off me , you big brute,“ she muttered as he rolled off her and gained his feet holding out a hand for her. She didn’t need it. Not when suddenly a cloud of shadows came to help her, hefting her up like she weighed nothing. 

They disappeared again, though they seeingly clung to her hands as she waved them away, one of them wrapping around her throat like it belonged there. 

He worked hard to keep the horror of his face. He had seen these shadows do the same thing a number of times under very different circumstances. But with her...with Oriana, they treated her like she was a precious thing. Treated her with all the care they were capable off. 

He swallowed. He had not once seen his brother’s shadows act like that. But then…he had never once met Azriel’s mate. 

“My name is Cassian,” he finally introduced himself, scratching his neck. He had rarely been that wrongfooted with somebody in his life. 

“I know,” she gave back, something like amusement blending into her voice.

“May I know your name?” he prodded as she seemed unwilling to give her more. 

“Oriana,” she told him. 

“No surname?” he wondered, she just cocked her head to the side. 

“Don’t you have one?  she gave back, clearly unwilling to let a single thing slide. 

“I am a bastard,” he gave back. “I don’t have one.” 

“Fireborn or Belmond, it depends on who you’re asking,” she finally answered. 

Fireborn. That seemed more like some kind of honorific, like shadowsinger, and less like a surname. 

“I am looking for Azriel,” he finally said quietly. “He was supposed to be in a meeting. Rhys can’t reach him. He could be in trouble.” 

He was sure that she would help him, if only because her instincts would tell her to. 

What he didn’t expect was the laugh she barked out, no amusement in her voice. 

“Oh, he is in trouble. With me,” she told him, her voice harsh. “He’s unconscious. That’s why Rhysand can’t reach him.”

Unconscious. That didn’t sound good. 

“He’s here?” Cassian asked and she just nodded. “Can I see him?” he requested. Oriana was Azriel’s mate but Cassian had been his brother longer than that. And he wanted to see him. Make sure that Azriel got everything he needed and that he didn’t need to go fetch Madja because Azriel wasn’t healing. 

“Do you promise me not to destroy our house?” Oriana asked drily.  “I’ll burn you to a fucking crisp if I need to.”

He was taken aback by that outburst. 

“You have a dirty mouth, you know,” he told her drily. She just held his gaze. He nodded.

Cassian followed along as she turned on her heel to march into the house. 

It was still the same house Azriel had shown him, but it was obvious that it had…well. Definitely been lived in by somebody other than just his brother. There was art on the wall, metallic sculptures of sorts, modern furniture, a couch…chairs that easily would be able to accommodate wings…bits and pieces that Azriel would have never bothered with before, but Oriana clearly did. 

He swallowed when he spotted a greenish linen tablecloth spread over the kitchen table, where Oriana had clearly been cooking something. 

“I don’t actually. You just caught me at an ill-time. After I spent a few hours yesterday wondering if my mate is going to die on me,” she answered, her voice so sharp that he could have cut himself on it. 

“What’s wrong with him?” he asked as she led him to what must be their bedroom. She hesitated before she opened the door. He could swear he saw a ward disappear at her touch like she had even warded Azriel before she had left him alone to go meet him outside. 

“He’s bruised extensively, and I didn’t think it was anything but that at first,” she said quietly. “He had a headache…we both thought he was just tired…he woke up three hours later vomiting blood and losing consciousness.”

Fuck. 

“He had inner bleeding in the abdomen. The healer told me all that was wrong with him but after that I just…” she trailed off, opening the door. 

Azriel was on his back, wings spread out over the bed, the whole thing surrounded by a dome of a greenish tint of sorts. 

Cassian had never seen anything like that.  

“Don’t touch it, please,” Oriana requested, her voice quiet. “It’s a healing trance. We use it in the mountain…I have it on a very good account that he’ll be fine. He was bleeding out from within. Which would have been caught if he had gone to a healer after his mission and didn’t come home to me immediately, because I quote I missed you .” There was anger in these words, but also sadness and not a small amount of love. It was all there, able to be heard by anybody who heard her speak about his brother. 

He swallowed, taking in the violent bruises on Azriel’s face, the swelling of one eye…the steady rise and fall of his chest, the bandages…the blanket that was pulled up over him…the ugliest thing that Cassian had ever seen consisting out of mismatched squares of knitting, no two the same. 

“Are you a healer?” he wondered. Who had put Azriel into a healing trance? 

“Do I look like a healer to you?  My bedside manner would be more than questionable,” Oriana said with a snort.

It would have been amusing in any other situation. 

“What are you then?” Cassian asked curiously. What did she do? What was she what she spend her time with? There was no question that Oriana was a magical powerhouse of sorts. 

“Does it matter?” Oriana wondered, leaning against the door. “By Trade? An Enchantress. By Creed? A goldsmith. By heritage? Half High Fae from the Autumn Court, half Tartera Faerie living in the mountain. By Love? His mate. And that will always come first.”

The truth was clear in her words.  

Still, he swallowed. An Enchantress. That was rare. It explained a lot though.

“Emotionally? Completely pissed off at Azriel, right now,” she added, her voice breaking. “And at your precious High Lord when we are already at it.”

“Rhys?” Cassian wondered aloud. “What has he done?”

“Send Azriel on his merry way,” Oriana said quietly. “He wouldn’t have even been there if it wasn’t for him. Azriel thought the whole thing was a bad idea, but Rhysand insisted.” 

Damnit. 

“He wouldn’t have done that if he thought that something was wrong,” Cassian said carefully. 

Oriana snorted.  

“You don’t believe me,” he said drily and she shrugged. 

“Let’s just say that I have a list of problems with him, and this is just the last one I added to it,” she admitted her voice even. 

“With Rhys?” Cassian said, brows rising. “What had he done to you?”

“To me personally? Nothing. To Azriel? I have a list,” Oriana said, sticking out her chin, and crossing her arms. 

Ouch. Rhys was in it for it.

And Cassian didn’t think for one moment that some singed-off hair and a melted knife was the worst thing that Oriana Fireborn could dish out if she put her mind to it. 

 “Does he know about you?” Cassian wondered. Had Rhys known about her? About Azriel and her. 

“Rhysand knows off me. There is a difference,” Oriana said carefully.   “If you ever want to annoy him you should ask him about his last trip to talk to Custodian of the Mountain…oh about 200 years ago? And what happened to his favourite jacket.”

“There is a story there, isn’t there?”  Cassian said with some amusement and she just shrugged. 

He was very curious about what exactly had gone down then. But that wasn’t the most pressing thing. 

“He’ll be fine?” he asked once again. Oriana just nodded. 

“He’ll be perfectly fine. A healer will check on him in an hour or so,” she said quietly. 

Clearly, she took care of what was hers. 

“Thank you,” he said softly, watching Azriel’s still form. 

“He’s my mate ,”  she spat out. “I did it for him, not for you.” 

“I know that,” Cassian said softly, meeting her eyes, the flames flickering. There was a unique kind of beauty in there, the way the flames were alive in her eyes. “Thank you for loving my brother.” 

Something inside her eased. “He’s very easy to love,” Oriana said quietly. 

“Will you let me know when he’s awake?” he asked and she nodded. 

“I’ll have the shadows sent a note,”  she agreed quietly. “The healer said another day or so.”

“Thank you,” Casisna thanked her again, turning his back to his brother and she led him out of the house. 

She was quiet, sunken in thought and as he turned to tell her goodbye, suddenly it burst out of her. 

“Were you the one who told him that he would need to pay for sex because he’s so disgusting that that is the only way he could get somebody to pretend to care for him?” She spat out. 

It was the last thing Cassian had expected. 

“ What ?”

“I am paraphrasing. I imagine the real sentence was more along the lines that if he wanted sex he should go to a pleasure hall and better pay for it,” Oriana corrected herself. “I just ask, because he took it to mean something very different.”

Cassian swallowed. That…It was... He didn’t even have words for it. He couldn’t…He couldn’t even think of a moment where anybody would have…why would…

“Were you the one?” Oriana demanded and he just shook his head. 

“He’s my brother,” Cassian said fiercely. “I would never say something like that to him.” She met his eyes, her own burning with an intensity that terrified him.

“Somebody did,” she said very carefully.  “I am putting you on notice, I don’t fucking care who it was, but if I find out, I am going to put them on fire.”

He didn’t doubt that for one moment.

“I’ll help,” he muttered darkly. “I’ll hold them down for you.” 

She gave him a smile that reminded him of Nesta in some way, sharp and biting. 

“Then we have an accord.”

[spacebarbarianweird]

10 for the ask meme! Astarion/Tav with a Tav that was unperceptive and insensitive to his trauma (re: the breakup scene after asking for sex when he's trying to tell you he needs a break)

Took me many months to get here!

"I still love you-" "no you don't. you love using me. you hate that I'm standing up for myself now. you loved me when i was submitting to you.." from Angsty Romance Prompt List

(No beta and no tagging coz it's more like a drabble)

Masterlist

AO3

Headcanons

He thought you were different. That you cared. He dared to hope things could change for the better.

But you showed him who he truly is.

Toy, whore, boy, slave.

First you forced him to drink Araj's blood. The reeking taste still burns his throat even days after the encounter in the Moonrise towers. Second, you forced him to sleep with you. To enjoy sex.

And he agreed.

He can't say to fucking, it's his second nature. The moment you invited him to the bedroll, old instincts hit and he performed.

Perfectly, like he always did.

The guilt and pain squeeze him from inside, he almost cries staring at the wall. Unfair, dishonest, painful.

Why did he agree?Why were you like that?

You were so kind, so warm, so caring. And then this.using his body for your own sake.

Nothing has changed. Nothing will ever change.

Cazador is right calling Astarion an pathetic stupid boy whose brains are good only for seducing victims. "Whatever this was it's over!"

"I still love you-"

"No, you don't. You love using me. You hate that I'm standing up for myself now. You loved me when I was submitting to you."

Astarion jumps on his feet and leaves the ambar you've made your date place.

The moment he is alone he breaks down.

He falls on his knees and cries. He cries silently, another skill he's mastered over decades.

To cry without attracting anyone's attention. ** Astarion smiles into the night skies.

Life has been fine. Life has been better than anything he ever dared to hope. You mistreated him but, well, he can't blame you. You saw him for what he was back then, a beautiful body to satisfy your dreams. To your own honor, you still helped him to get rid of his master, to set him free, even checked on him months later where he proudly told you about his endeavors as a monster hunter.

You were happy with your new partner. He was happy with his freedom.

It was years ago. You are probably already dead. Funny enough he doesn't remember either your race or age. Your image is just another face he's forgotten.

But he is grateful, after all. No matter how much he despises you, you gave him blood and hope. He wouldn't be the same person if it wasn't for you.

Astarion slowly approaches a hut. It belongs to a drakewarden ranger who prefers to live on her own deep in the woods. He fumbles thinking if he should knock at the door or leave.

He is still a vampire, a monster and their first encounter was basically a murder attempt. The ranger was tasked to kill a vampire, the vampire monster hunter was given a contract to get rid of the ranger.

Simple as that.

But the enemies became friends. And now friends are becoming something else.

Astarion opens the door and a wood elf smiles at him.

"Took you long enough," she says in Elven. "Come here!"

The invisible barrier disappears, and Astarion enters.

[archiveikemen]

"On-Screen Lovers" Story Event: Chapter 1

Nagi

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Warnings and FAQ

One early afternoon, on my day off.

I found myself caught up in something unexpected.

(There’s nothing much to do today, so I guess I’ll take the occasional break.)

Rina: Oh, huh?

I chanced upon Sakura and the members of Gem Cuddle standing face to face with serious expressions.

Rina: Is there a reason why everyone is gathered?

Sakura: Oh. Thanks for your hard work, Kawanaga.

Sakura: We were just discussing Nagi’s work matters.

Hitaki: Actually, Nagi received a casting offer to star in a movie.

Rina: A casting offer…!?

Miu: For the lead role in a romance movie.

Nagi’s name was indeed indicated in the proposal.

“An unpopular young dancer becomes a global superstar while earnestly dealing with conflicts in love and friendship”...

The plot seemed to suit Nagi well.

However, Nagi’s facial expression was unexpectedly grim.

Nagi: I can’t act to save my life, no way I’m starring in a movie.

Miu: Geez, you’ve been saying that for a while now! Didn’t take acting lessons?

Miu: It’ll be fine once you get used to it, so just accept the offer.

Nagi: You’re only able to say that because it’s not your business. In the first place, I’m an idol.

Nagi: We have a live performance coming up, I should be spending my time preparing for that.

(Nagi is very passionate about dancing, so it’s understandable he wants to focus on practising for the upcoming live performance).

Sakura: Hmm, I understand how you feel, but…

Sakura muttered with a troubled look.

Sakura: It’s already been decided that Gem Cuddle will sing the theme song for this movie.

Sakura: It would make the fans happy if Nagi were to be chosen as the lead actor, thus giving a boost to the movie’s publicity.

Nagi: …

(Could there be some other reason why he’s being so stubborn?)

That’s what I thought, but I could only watch their discussion from the sidelines.

Miu: Ahh– for good's sake! This is getting nowhere. In any case, Nagi, you should start practising your acting.

Miu: In that case, you'll need motivation. For example, you could do your script reading with her as your partner.

I felt a pat on my shoulder as I heard myself being mentioned all of a sudden.

Rina: W-Why me? I can’t act at all.

Miu: Eh? It’s easier to practise with a partner than alone, you know?

Hitaki: Based on the script, it certainly looks like this character has many interactions with the female lead. That makes Kawanaga a suitable partner for script reading.

(Huh!? Hitaki too.)

Nagi: No, hold on. This will become a bother for her too.

Nagi: Besides, this problem only concerns me. I’m saying that I don't want anything taking my focus away from the live performance.

Hitaki: We’ll support you in that, we’re not going to let you shoulder all the burden yourself.

Hitaki: Why don’t you try doing a round of script reading with her first? I believe it won’t be too late to decide afterwards if you want to accept the casting offer or not.

Sakura: I agree. Once you know the feel of the production, you’ll be able to consider it in a more positive light.

Seeing the hopefulness in Sakura’s facial expression made me feel an urge to lend a hand despite my discomfort.

(I’d be glad if Nagi would accept the offer. In that case…)

Rina: I understand. If I’m really suitable for the task, I’ll do it.

…

Nagi and I moved to the lesson room to do script reading.

(I wonder if Nagi’s upset about being forced into this…)

Nagi: Oi.

Rina: Yes?!

Nagi: … I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.

Rina: Oh, no… I was just worried that I might’ve disregarded your boundaries.

Rina: I accepted the task, so I’ll do my best to help your acting practice go smoothly.

Nagi responded with an “okay” when I looked up at him with determination.

Nagi: I was too stubborn. I’m going to properly take this challenge, and I’ll be counting on you.

Rina: Sure!

We checked through the script and picked a good scene to practise.

The scene we picked was “the protagonist’s childhood friend, the female protagonist, is complimenting his dancing”.

(This scene involves dancing, which is something Nagi has in common with his character; it seems like a perfect scene for us to practise.)

(But it’s also mentioned that the two protagonists in this scene were “as close as lovers”. That part is kind of embarrassing…)

(T-This weak attitude is no good. I must focus!)

I took a deep breath to calm myself down before turning to face Nagi.

… And so, we started acting.

Rina: The dance moves you just did were amazing! My heart was racing while watching you.

Nagi: That’s what you say every time, but there’s still a part of the choreography I’m not satisfied with.

Rina: You’re so attentive to details. But perhaps all that practising is what made you who you are today.

(... What’s this? The topic is dance, so it feels like I’m saying all that to Nagi himself.)

(Maybe that’s why I can recite my lines with ease?)

Nagi appeared calm as well, responding naturally with his character’s lines.

(This should go well without problems if we keep this up…)

Nagi: Goodness, look at you saying such things without a hint of embarrassment. However…

Nagi suddenly leaned forward and reached towards me.

(Huh?)

The thoughts flying through my head stopped the instant he moved closer, and I felt his warm and large hand gently stroke my hair.

(H-He’s… acting out the movements described in the script.)

My heart was hammering against my chest from the sudden contact.

I couldn’t peel my eyes off Nagi’s beautiful face that was right before my eyes.

Nagi: Your words never fail to cheer me up.

Nagi: That’s why, I’ve been thinking of giving you something in return.

Nagi: I wanted to tell you this in a cool way, but… at the end of the day, I really just want to be by your side.

(... Hm? There was an odd pause just now.)

Nagi: Can I stay by your side forever? Because then…

Nagi: …

Nagi: … Damn. I can’t bring myself to continue.

Nagi muttered as he moved away from me and sighed.

Rina: What’s wrong all of a sudden?

(His acting was going well so far. But… was that strange pause I noticed just now not my imagination?)

Rina: Um… to an amateur like me, I think your acting was very natural.

Rina: Even so, do you perhaps still feel uncomfortable with acting?

Nagi seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, before he slowly spoke in response.

Nagi: … I’ll be honest. The thing I dislike isn't acting itself.

Rina: Really?

Nagi: Yeah. The real reason why I was hesitant to accept the casting offer is—

[neonscandal]

So I found this on bird app :

"i only like ge/go when it’s doomed and they have no longterm future

same with go/ge. they’re about the same to me but i think gojo bottomed more and was a total pillow princess about it in their teens. as adults they probably switched equally. i can see gojo developing his experience more with topping as an adult

either way they’re better as exes. gojo deserves more from a partner than someone who would leave him to start a cult "

Can I ask your thoughts, please?

Hello, hello. Considering, canonically, they are very doomed, I suppose OP found a solid pairing? I'm starting to understand the idea of doomed toxic yaoi a lot more because who says that with their whole chest? I don't feel like I'm on my A game today but let's see if I can adequately convey my thoughts.

I think it's kinda funny, the sentiment that "Gojo deserves more from a partner than someone who would leave him to start a cult,". As if Gojo didn't play some part in his motivation for defection, as if to say this defection, too, did not reek of affection. Don't get me wrong, Geto's hard right was also a great deal of ego. But, foundationally, his departure was sparked by an inability to stand shoulder to shoulder with Gojo, power wise.

Toji got the drop on Gojo which sent Geto on the offensive. After being reassured he was fine, Gojo encouraged him to press forward with the mission. Just short of extending protection to their charge to follow her own wishes, Toji violently extinguishes the life of Riko Amanai before his eyes. An opportunity that was only made possible by besting Gojo, killing him even. Geto loses his composure with this realization and is summarily and disrespectfully embarrassed and defeated. Left alive with the knowledge that he wasn't deemed enough of a threat to kill. This is on the tail end of all of Gojo's reassurances that he was fine, that they could even take on Tengen because he had Geto to rely on. But this series of events, this cocoon of hubris, challenges Geto's ability to protect anyone at all. From this he determines the best way to circumvent premature losses like Gojo, Riko and Haibara are simply to eradicate the population they're forced to put themselves on the line for.

Armies were roused to reclaim Helen of Troy and return her divine beauty back to Sparta, causing the Trojan War. Six people died, including the eponymous lovers Romeo and Juliet, due to a series of compounding events for a romance that lasted 3 days. Orpheus braved the Underworld at the chance to retrieve Eurydice. Geto betrayed himself and everything he'd stood for previously for a chance to create a world where Gojo wouldn't have to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He walked away from Gojo knowing the path he walked was twisted and, in his mind, did so irrevocably even though I know Gojo would have followed him if asked. So why didn't he ask?

The man who had been the moral compass for The Strongest Sorcerer did not abuse that influence. Even knowing he was doomed to fail in his endeavor. Even recognizing that with Gojo's power, it'd be possible. But he never asked, never chose to lead him astray. So, yes, they're tragic but does the copium not encourage us to seek out AU's where they are free of the burden of their fates and are just happy?

RE: everything else, maybe I'm an anomaly but I don't really care about people or characters' positions in relationships so I don't know that I'm someone you want chiming in on that. Like, I get people assume that positions present different archetypes that they choose to align characters with but... that pragmatism ignores a lot of nuance. I also inherently know that people use different names for ships based on this but I don't nor do I see them as having different relationship dynamics, per se, in referring to them as gego vs goge. I just look at their canonical dynamic and tend to use the more popular ship name.

Even if I agree that I could see Gojo as a pillow princess, it's less to do with the "physicality" of it and more to do with his personality. He is princess just as much as Geto is babygirl and the girls who get it, get it.

[romanticatheartt]

I'm getting tired of the "If Azriel only cares about the mating bond, why is he after elain who already has a mate" argument, when Azriel himself literally gave us the reason why in his pov:

3 brothers + 3 sisters.

That's the damn reason.

The bonus chapter literally starts with him obsessing over mating bonds and envying his brothers.

These are the right question to ask: if he's so in love with Elain, wtf is that "He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to" line? Why tf couldn't he think beyond sex in the elriel part the whole time? Why didn't he tell Rhys that he loves and cares for her instead of telling him the whole "Why was the third sister given to another??" bs? Why was it so easy for him to move on afterwards? Mind you, he had the chance to know her for over 2 years.. For someone who's apperantly in love, he sure isn't acting and thinking like it.

I still haven't gotten a valid explaination. It's just "Gwyn manipulated him" and "Azriel isn't allowing himself to further think about it" or "It's natural for him to think like that"- but Lucien would've gotten flamed for it.

Sorry, I had to rant. I usually don't and have long since given up on thinking about this ship war, but some elriel post on my fyp on Insta brought up this dumb argument back and it's just..🤦‍♀️

At least I didn't look at the comments.

Hi anon<3 I'm not really sure if wanted to come here and rant to me but if you did I'm happy you're comfortable enough to be here and drop your rant.

I agree with everything that you said and I remember the first time I read the line "he hadn't gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to." and it was over for me. it was never started but yeah

If that line doesn't convince you then idk what will!! I want to compare it to Feyre only managing to have a connection and only form of communication with Tam/in through sex. The phrase "skin to skin" was used at least 3 times in acomaf.

And look at what other MMCs have said about their mates:

"I would have waited five hundred more years for you. A thousand years. And if this was all the time we were allowed to have … The wait was worth it."

“I will find you again in the next world—the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.”

“I want to see her. Just once. Just—to know.” “To know what?” “If she is worth fighting for.”

Do you see the difference?

I know people drag Lucien for this line but what they don't want to see is he's fighting for her. He's coming back every time he's invited to one of their ceremonies, he always brings gifts for her, he respects her and never forces himself on her, he just sits there and watches from afar, waits for her signals. He's waiting for her and doesn't care how long. Just like Rhys, just like Cassian. Rhys never forced himself on Feyre and was fine with her being in love with another person and he knew Feyre was his mate long before she even met Tam/in. Cassian would've waited for Nesta in another life for her to join him.

Like as I'm writing these, I have tears in my eyes, literally. Because look how romantic is that!! Look how sure they're in their love for their mates even if they didn't know they're already in love. Look at Lucien who keeps coming back with no expectation. This is how love looks on a guy!! They respect them long before the feeling reciprocate.

And we have Azriel... who jerks off by the thought of Elain and it's his only thoughts of her. I'm not saying it's wrong but just compare him to others...

It's not how sjm writes his MMCs as much as everyone else wants to find this romantic. I mean sure, if this doesn't deter you from loving them then by all means, it's your preference and it's totally fine. If you think this is peak romance then I think you should higher you standards but then again it's not my business at all. But other people finding this weird and not romantic is valid.

He calls her the third ffs (she's the second sister but ok Az it doesn't seems math is your strong suit anyway) He acts like she's some kind of object when he says "was given to another" like I'm sorry?

And more importantly Az never answer Rhys question about Mor... He is still in love with her (I'm sure he has no idea what love is) and he's giving the same treatment he gave her to Elain. I call this obsession and desperation for a mate. And the moment he gets a mate he will leave both of them for his mate. Everyone always say Elain will break the bond and leave Lucien, which now we know she will never not feel him in her soul, but never how Azriel will react the moment he finds his mate. Which their answer is Azriel and Elain are the real mates. And we know they're not...

Anyways I just wanted to add a little to what you said and compare it to other characters and why we don't think Azriel and Elain will ever end up together. Sjm write romance and love stories first and not smut. Yes sure she approach Nessian this way and only because it would suit their story but Nesta literally say she was always in love with Cassian since the moment they met. And I don't think whatever Azriel is feeling for Elain is love or even lust. He feels this way because he thinks Elain should be his mate. He jerks off to the thought of Elain being his mate and not Elain herself.

Edit: I forgot to say. Please filter their tags on every plat form. I did it on both instagram and twitter and I barely see anything from that side of the fandom. It will make your experience better I promise you lol

[metanarrates]

u are making me want to reread so i can talk about it with you. book club! anyway i havent read them since i was like. 17 maybe?? but i would love to hear more of your thoughts. unfortunately i dont have any specific questions due to not remembering that much. wait thoughts on the ending of the games scene. lets kill ourselves together scene

yes you should! my dms are open for you. I love to chat about what im reading 😄😄😄

i already talked in another ask about how the spectre of survivor's guilt made that scene work for me on an emotional level even though I don't buy the romance, but let's talk about how the other stakes of this scene unfortunately make no goddamn sense. (this is a trend in my problems with the hunger games. the stakes are weirdly defined and inconsistent on both logical and symbolic levels.)

the capitol audience does not behave as reality tv audiences irl do. ive talked before about this, and I'll say it again - no reality tv audience would ever willingly want to watch the days long peeta/katniss cave segment livestream. if we are meant to believe that this is an audience who thrives on bloodshed and drama, we need to see that constantly putting pressure on the characters. it does not work well as a story about being forced into behaving as entertainment if the characters only occasionally feel the pressure to be entertaining. the entire structure of the story needs to be different if we are to believe that this is a livestream that a lot of people (many of whom are Sickos) are watching.

with that in mind, let's lay down the things that the story needs you to believe in order for this scene to work:

the reality TV audience is fine, or fine enough, with the gamemakers changing the rules of the games back last-minute to prevent two victors from winning. they at least do not storm the gamemakers studio about it.

a victor needs to exist, so much so that the absence of one could get the gamemakers killed

the audience would NOT like to see a lover's double suicide at the climax of the games

rejecting the need for a victor and dying by suicide instead translates into a meaningful and political rebellion against the capitol

the audience agrees, or agrees enough, that it's fine to change the rules back to allow two victors.

none of these feel earned to me. any TV watcher worth their salt will tell you that it's universally hated when a show changes its rules arbitrarily for the sake of dramatic tension. this would work if the point of this was that the capitol was willing to sacrifice viewer satisfaction to retain control over the games, but...

that argument is reliant on the assumption that the capitol needs a victor. and why does it? the purpose of these games is to be violent entertainment and propaganda to show the futility of resistance. katniss even says in an earlier chapter that there have been games with no victor because everybody died. there's been very little establishment of why the capitol might find a victor necessary. i can speculate, but ultimately the novel doesn't really establish the victors as serving a critical purpose to the system of the games. they don't even say explicitly that a victor is necessary until this veey scene. the cruelty is the point of the games. and being forced to kill yourself is cruel. so...

I have no idea why an audience would hate a double suicide here. if they're consuming the games as violent entertainment, they should LOVE that shit! its dramatic! its great tv! ratings should be through the roof! what an amazing tragedy! this is the height of the capitol forcing people to participate in cruelty! therefore...

I straight up do not understand the notion that this constitutes meaningful rebellion in any way. sure, its a refusal to allow the expected outcome of a single victor to occur, but I did outline how I don't think the capitol has any logical reason to object to the double suicide. even if you parse it as resistance, why does it matter if they're both dead? this should instead show everyone that resisting only leads to death. which is the point of the games.

and is the audience cruel or not? are they okay with a "kill or be killed" scenario or are they rooting for peeta & katniss so badly that they would cheer for a deus ex machina to save them? i just don't get it. it doesn't make sense to me.

so yeah the scene just feels silly and contrived at the end of this

[chaotic-nick]

You can Still Learn: Eren Yeager × Reader

Here's the first instalment for my '400 follower milestone fic specials' with the theme '[Un]learning' where my favourite life lessons in twenty years of living are used for fics!

Plot: Eren's asked why his girlfriend doesn't play any sports, he didn't expect that he'd get mad at something in your past. WC: 1396

Lesson learnt: Playing a sport with a bad group of people ruins it for you, but don't be discouraged because there are people who'll make you want to pick it up again. + Someone will genuinely want to teach you something + the sooner you leave your 'group' of 'friends' the sooner the bad memories stop.

note: Established relationship, college au, reader is coded to have a big chest.

A girlfriend was never something that suited Eren in his first year of university. Quickly making himself known in their batch and their major’s seniors, then university organisations and then the sports teams that wanted him. He’d never maintain a relationship past a conversation. That was what everyone thought of him.

Everyone who knew him agreed that the lucky one signed up for heartbreak. Or worse, fall victim to a classic toxic college romance story.

“Babe,” Eren’s chin dug into her exposed shoulder, eyes scanning the textbooks stacked on the park’s wooden tables. “I don’t wanna leave you here. I already feel bad.”

He called for her again when she slouched forward, abruptly leaving his chin in the air, “Babe.” Truth was, the image everyone knew of him was his personal life bleeding into the impression he made.

Eren was far from what everyone thought he’d be. An abrupt change in the second semester of their second year when he first laid eyes on her.

“Hmm? Sorry, had an earphone in.” Part of it was the fear of letting her down when they first worked on a group project.

As they spent more time with their hands holding each other in her dorm, he turned lovesick. Never wanting to see the worst expressions on her face. “Do you wanna play ball?” He’d even go as far as calling himself the best boyfriend out of everyone in his circle.

“When did I ever play?” She turned to him already knowing that he wore a frown. “I like spending time like this. Really.”

He stood up, dribbling the ball that sat on the ground by their bags, looking for a way to convince her, “This’ll be the first time you’ll play ball and—”

“— first time playing ball outside my dorm.”

His hand froze, a disturbed expression stretching his mouth into a disgusted frown. “Fine. I’m not gonna feel bad leaving you here.”

“Good, good.” 

Eyes followed Eren as he leaned to her table to look at her notebooks spread open. “Whatcha reading? Or notes?” 

“Studying . . . reading into theories . . . parasocial relationships.” Followed by a proud, “Mhm. Big brain stuff.”

He nodded, like always. It was better to just agree. Last time he pushed her into an hour of discussion of colour theory in film. “Cool cool, remember to—” only to be interrupted by a whistle from his friends.

“LOVERBOY YEAGER!” Yelled Jean throwing them a cocky smile to hide the look of envy in his eyes.

Behind him came Connie to wave a hand as he rested his elbow on Jean’s shoulder. “Hey (Y/n).”

“Hello Connie,” then to the blonde that was shadowing Eren, “Reiner!”

The basketball that Jean passed to Reiner returned to him at high speed, bringing a force worse than a punch to his gut. He didn’t need to turn to them, already knowing that it was Eren.

“Don’t look at her like that.”

Holding his gut, he turned to Eren while his face showed that he fought the pained expression from showing, “I’m not?”

“You were.” Reiner pointed out, crouching down for the ball.

Instigating them more, Connie joined, “Yeaah, eyes big, mouth wide open. All that.”

“Does she play anything? Like basketball? Stuck sitting like that?” Instead of lunging at Jean, Eren only held the collar of his shirt up to his chin. “Just curious, really.”

“Honestly, yeah. You two are polar opposites. She studies and you, you just pass.” 

In the hour that they were playing together, Eren properly turned his body to look at her whose form only resembled a shrimp more. “Dunno.” He shrugged.

Reiner joined them to hand Connie the ball, “Pfft, you two are stuck together—”

“—Like always together.”

“Really,” Eren repeated, “We don’t talk about stuff and. . .”

“You’re telling me you don’t know anything other than her name”

“No, I don’t know stuff like that yet.”

“And you’re all head over heels, wow.”

With wide eyes and in the sternest he’s ever been he cut them off, “I can tell you how soft her cheeks are though.”

“Ahh,”

“Great.”

“Like the Mochi Mikasa’s mom makes. Really!”

Subconsciously walking on the exposed side of the road, Eren’s hand now swung the mesh bag where she insisted to keep the ball in rather than, “I don’t want you letting it go and then dying because you got hit.” And the other firmly holding her hand.

“You okay?” She asked, wanting to take a picture of him with her backpack slung in front of him. “I can carry my own bag, ren—”

“No.” Came a firm tone. Silence enveloped them again when they crossed the road, switching sides with her. “Babe, do you play any sports?”

Tiredly she held up her free hand up to his eyesight, clenching it into a fist. “That’s just taekwondo. Not balls?” Then her pointer finger poked out up to touch her thumb, forming a circle. “Dorm activities don’t count.”

“Uh-huh, then it’s a no.” A long look at the side of his face, slowing their pace. “Not even when we’re going rounds and rounds and I tap out?”

“Not at all, babe. Like an actual sport.”

Facing the street again she started in a softer tone, “I wanted to . . .” and when she felt him look down on her she looked up with a grin, “. . . play with balls. You made it come true— sorry. But I wasn’t joking. Got sick after Volleyball— google lied when they said it’s good for asthmatics.”

“Well shit.”

“Mhm, and, and before that, I wanted to play basketball, though.” Joining the line at the their usual takeaway place she let go of his hand and faced him.

“What happened?”

“I think it was the end of tenth grade, bunch of my friends got together in a circle— they were all 

basketball girls and were just throwing the ball around. I thought, why not join them? I need a 

break from studying for exams. And then while I was distracted I was hit in the chest area, when I looked at them they were laughing. Like straight to the boob. Shit, it hurt. So I never played with my own so-called friends.” Looking down, her shirt stretched the text over her chest. “My boobs made it a good target for them it seems.”

“What the— shit! Fuck? Babe what?”

“I mean my boobs were just there so, yeah I guess it was funny to them”

“Still,” he emphasised, eyebrows furrowing together. “That’s shitty of them to do.”

“Come to think of it they always made fun of my chest, that was the only time they hit it though. No, wait . . . three times, I think.”

“Babe,” he repeated, “It’s fucked up shit.”

“It was in the tenth grade, ‘ren.” Waving at the owner’s daughter through the window, she didn’t understand why Eren was more pressed than her.

“So what? Come on babe, you’re learning how to dribble right now.” he caught on quickly and tried to talk in a lighter tone, “—then when you can shoot hoops we’re getting couples’ jerseys, yeah?”

“Oh shut up, let’s go or—”

“Yeah back to the park.” His civility can only last to an extent.

“No, to the dorms after we eat. You need a shower, baptise your clothes in detergent.”

“And you’re hugging my arm.”

“Because if you keep swinging you’ll hit someone.” The image of her wearing a pouted expression before pretending that it was a genuine mistake only boiled his blood more.

“It better be one of your so called friends.”

“I don’t talk to them anymore.”

“Good.” Still, she’s told him enough about them to know that this was . . . tame. “I’m still mad at them, fuckers can burn.”

“Wow.” Unable to stop the grin tugging at the corner of her mouth, “maybe high school would’ve been more fun with you in it, or with genuine friends.”

“And you could’ve learnt— I’m sorry it’s just so, what the fuck, babe?” Seeing his eyebrows meeting like in anger for something that had happened fours years ago brought a smile to her face, a warmth to a heart that only knew rejection when it wanted to learn.

“We can probably do that when we’re done with our tests.”

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Review: Ikigami & Donor

Title: Ikigami to Donor (イキガミとドナー)

Author/Artist: Yamanaka Hiko

Shop: CD + Manga

Release Date: 2021/12/03

Cast: 

Nakajima Yoshiki x Saitou Souma

Yamashita Seiichirou + Kawanishi Kengo

Kobayashi Chiaki

Yashiro Taku

Komada Wataru

Hayashi Miho

Shiozaki Tomohiro

Higa Ryosuke

Abe Ryouma

Torashima Takaaki

Oota Kensuke

Nakashima Takuya

Fujita Mami

Miyama Mari

Souya Kazuki

Synopsis: 

"Your blood and flesh, all of it is mine." An ikigami and a healer, together their souls support each other, blooming into love...

In the distant future, ordinary teacher Yoshino learns that he is a "donor" for the strongest species, the "ikigami." These warriors are tasked with protecting the country. "The unique ability of a donor is to use their bodily fluids to heal ikigami." Yoshino learns this fact and is shocked. Thus, Yoshino is forced to live with Kidou... At first, he is like a beast, demanding Yoshino's bodily fluids, but slowly, the underlying loneliness begins to show...

"Someday, if I met a donor, could they come to love me? That thought is the only reason I survived..."

Review Proper

I can’t believe Yamanaka Hiko’s been terrorizing me for over twelve years now. OH MY GOD I’M SO OLD. And true to the Yamanaka Hiko brand, this turned out to be another fantasy masterpiece (read His 500 Years of Suffering Romance). This was definitely the type of thing that would do great even without the BL aspect of it. Now, I did have an issue with Kidou being an asshole (he's almost killed Yoshino more than once), so I’m not excusing it. But I do get how and why he turned out to be like that and I'm aware that it's important for his character development. The world-building was great, don't get me wrong, but it's definitely dubcon 2015. I would strongly advise you not to get into it if that's a deal breaker for you.

Anyway, onto the voice work.

Souma used a tone so close to Gucci's that I kept imagining Gucci being Yoshino. Yes, I didn't read the manga while listening to the BLCD. It was like after graduating Karasuno, Gucci went on to become a teacher, then a donor lmao. His Yoshino panics more like Honda-san, however, so my final verdict is that his Yoshino is half-Gucci, half-Honda-san.

This isn't Nakajiki and Souma's first rodeo, but I'm glad to say that their performance/dynamic here is different from Mikeneko and XL Size. I expected Kidou to be a mix of Amano and Anaconbayashi-kun 'cause the former was cocky and the latter was stoic, but Kidou was only 50% of that mix and 50% brooding, suffering, I'll-protect-you top. Am I even making any sense? Again, I listened to the BLCD first, but the sound direction they gave Nakajiki was very different from what I thought he'd sound like after I read the manga. It’s almost like what happened with OnoD’s expressive Hasebe-kun in the Kotonoha BLCD vs the more stoic Hasebe-kun in the manga. 

The voice work of our two leads was 👌. This might just be my fave out of their pairings 'cause the sex isn't over-the-top like XL Size and Mikeneko. I will say that I wasn't completely sold on Yamashita Seiichirou as Shibata-san 'cause I feel like he speaks too slowly, but I'm sure it'll grow on me by the time I listen to their spin-off. KawaKen was fine. My heart broke for him every time Shibata-san rejected him, so it's safe to say he's got Taki-kun down already.

Oh. I did have a slight issue with the sfx too. Why was it so watery??? Lmao. Even r18 otome cds aren't that wet. But it's not so glaring that it'll turn you off.

The BLCD was almost perfectly accurate to the manga. I highly recommend this to those learning mid to higher levels of Japanese. Futekiya has licensed volumes 1 & 2, so please try to support the official release if you can. I'd be lying if I said that I agree with how they translated it so... literally?, but I think it's also important to see how things are translated that way if you're aiming to dip your toes into translation aside from studying the language. For example, they used "Living God" throughout the manga instead of "Ikigami." It's correctly translated, but I personally prefer retaining the original title. You know, like how Viz uses "Kaiju no. 8" instead of "Monster no. 8?"

God knows if I'll ever survive the spinoff that I wanted to work on. I avoided talking about it for a reason lmao. Anyway, if y'all liked this, then please give 500 Years (Ono Yuuki x Suzuki Tatsuhisa) and Shortcake no Ichigo Sawaranaide (Nojima Hirofumi x Takeuchi Ken). These two are android bls and Ikigami to Donor is more guide bl, but they both share a futuristic vibe.

[hassedah]

Hi ! Can you do headcanons about Vladimir and how he is/act with mc in the romantic relationship with them (Only if you want to of course :) ) I hope you have a great day/night ! <3 PS: I love to read your headcanons they ere so good ! :D

Vladimir with MC with in the romantic relationship :

Hi! How are you? I hope you are well! ^^

I'm glad you like my headcanons! ^^

Here's the headcanons you asked! I hope you enjoy it! ^^

Take care of yourself and have a nice day! ^^

---------

It's quite complicated for him at the beginning of your relationship. Sometimes he still has a bit of trouble realising that you're really together and that it's not just a dream. Vladimir had long since written off the idea of ever having a partner. So he often needs reassurance that you love him.

He doesn't know how to behave with you at the beginning of the relationship. Can he give you an affectionate nickname? Can he give you a hug? Can he hold your hand? He'll try little things, like brushing his fingers against yours in the library when you're alone to see how you react. If you take his hand in yours, he'll turn as red as a tomato.

He's too embarrassed at first to show you any affection in public. Of course, he wants to hug you and kiss you, but… that wasn't done at all in his day. It's very unsettling to realise that he can be more tactile nowadays. Gradually he's changing that, he still finds it hard to kiss or hug you if someone is likely to see you and laugh, but more often takes your hand in his and sometimes even leans in to kiss your cheek.

He becomes much more tactile when you're alone. He loves to hug you and kiss you, but he loves it even more when you hug him and kiss him. Sometimes he even wishes he could never be forced to leave your embrace.

So he always sleeps snuggled up next to you. It's reassuring in a way, feeling your breathing and your heartbeat calms him down a lot. He feels loved and it's important for him to know that he really matters to someone - he'd never have thought that possible before he met you.

Vladimir likes to write and he writes a lot, even if he doesn't dare show it to you at the beginning of your relationship. Gradually, however, he lets you read some of the things he's written. These are mainly romances and love poems (he writes even more now that he's in a relationship with you).

He's someone who blushes a lot, so when you flirt with him, there's always a lovely flush that quickly settles on his cheeks, before he rushes to hide his face behind his hands or hair.

If you don't know how to waltz, he'll be happy to teach you. He'll be less keen on the idea of you teaching him to dance modern dances, but… if you promise not to tell anyone in the manor about it, he may give in to please you.

If you agree to wear clothes from his era one day, he won't be able to stop blushing. Look, you're gorgeous in it and he feels like he could die of happiness just by seeing you.

He loves spending evenings reading with you in front of the fireplace. Whether you each read a different book or sit next to each other reading the same book is fine with him as long as he can spend time with you.

He also likes to just lie down with you and do nothing in particular. He could spend hours listening to you talk about whatever you want or just enjoying the silence with you.

If he felt more secure about going out in the city, he'd invite you to restaurants more often. Unfortunately, a single outing tends to exhaust him and he needs several days to recover each time - modern cities are really too noisy.

Even if he can't cook very well, he'll be happy to cook with you. Of course, you'll have to supervise everything to make sure you end up with something edible, but he'll have lots of fun.

He loves to hear you laugh, it's a wonderful sound for him and he feels he can never get enough of it.

He never asks you, but he needs to be reassured about his looks. Vladimir doesn't think he's very pretty and all the compliments you give him reassure him enormously.

[karizard-ao3]

Hello! I've been enjoying reading your NGE opinions and aus a lot! Can I ask you how'd you do a full prom saga au?

Whew, why does this feel so tricky? I've been thinking about this one and I'm not sure where to take it, so let's just jump in!

First off, I think we have to group everyone into who would expect/ want to go to prom and who wouldn't? So it would be:

Wants to:

Asuka, Kensuke, Toji, Class Rep (Hikari?), Kaworu

Not interested:

Rei

Too insecure to even contemplate going to prom unless a minimum of three people he admires tell him they want to see him there:

Shinji

Then we have to think, what would be the conflict? What is the big problem we're having with prom that we're going to have to overcome? I think the answer is obvious: How to get Shinji and Rei to go. I feel like Asuka needs to be the driving force there, but I also don't think she would particularly care if they go (Rei she definitely wouldn't give a fuck, Shinji she would be back and forth on, I think) unless there was an incentive. So, maybe Misato asks her to try to get Shinji and Rei to go as a favor because she's worried about them being such depressed loners and, in exchange for her service, Misato will-

Wait. oh my god. We have an opportunity here to do a makeover plot line.

Ohhhhhhhhhh my god. Please forget everything I was saying before because I think this would be so funny. We could do an Asushin She's All That thing! Hot and popular Asuka declares that she can turn any loser boy from school into the Prom King, and poor Shinji becomes her project.

I think if we go this route we would probably have to alter the living arrangements so that Asuka and Shinji are not housemates, but I think we could reasonably have them living in the same apartment building. I kind of want to have Shinji living with Kaji and Asuka with Misato. I like when Misato and Asuka have girl talk and I think it's cute that Shinji apparently tries to mimic Kaji's style in ANIMA. Oh, what if Shinji tried to style himself like Kaji on the day Asuka decided to ask him to prom and was not successful? She critiques his look and is like, "I'll fix you, if you agree to go to prom with me" or something like that? I don't know. Just a thought. It might not work.

Kaji and Misato having their own little romance subplot going on while Asuka and Shinji are going through their own thing also very much appeals to me, and as the Asushin plotline progresses it can impact Kaji and Misato's relationship somehow? Don't know. But I do want a Kaji/Misato thing to happen. (I googled it. The ship name is Misakaji.)

Okay, so, Asuka and Shinji have this deep-seated disdain for each other, even from the beginning. I guess maybe Class Rep can be the one who picks Asuka's project and she picks Shinji, which Asuka tries to get out of at first, but eventually has to suck it up and invite him to prom. So that's the first hurdle. She needs to get him to agree. Luckily for the fic, Shinji will have his own reasons for saying yes. What could they be? Probably some kind of pressure from his friends. Kensuke and Toji were teasing him about being bitchless or something, maybe? Or Kaji tells him he needs to find a prom date and do one normal high school thing before he graduates. We know Shinji does what he's told, so he's now struggling to find a date. Along comes Asuka to tell him he's going to prom with her and also allowing her to make him over so she'd not humiliated to be seen with him, and he's just like, "Ugh. Fine."

They are definitely butting heads and stuff at first, but eventually they start to see a softer side of each other, as happens in these situations. Maybe Shinji discovers Misato never stocks food in the fridge and Asuka isn't a very accomplished cook, so he ends up bringing her meals. Asuka learns that Shinji doesn't want to look like his asshole father and she reveals her own father is a jerk, so they bond over that? They find out Kaji and Misato are hooking up and that's a whole thing.

There should be some angry making out.

I mean, they would really only have like a month to go from prom invite to prom night, right? Or is it six weeks? It's a very short amount of time for them to switch their tunes about each other, so I guess maybe instead of a full on love confession, we can shoot for something like: Shinji is feeling really awful about himself that he needs to be made over and act like a completely different person to get positive attention from the other kids at school. Asuka feels like her baby romance with Shinji is only because she's pushing it, and he doesn't actually care. In the end Asuka tells Shinji he's fine the way he is and undoes his makeover as much as she can (she gives him back his polo shirt and comes the styling product out of his hair? Or she rents him the silly powder blue tux he was so taken with when they went shopping for prom outfits?). She also tells Shinji he doesn't have to go to prom with her. She might just stay home. Shinji says he would rather hang out with her, then, since the only reason he wants to go to prom is to hang out with her. It is a lovely moment. Misato and Kaji are not having it. They have both spent so much fucking money on the kids' tickets and limo and outfits and shit. Misato even paid for Asuka to get her makeup done by a professional. It's very sweet they think they're going to hang out around the house in their prom outfits, but no. They are actually getting their asses to prom right now.

So Asuka and Shinji go to the dance, but they sneak out onto the school roof or something at some point and slow dance under the stars and then don't go back in.

I hope that was intelligible. I will not be reading over it for mistakes. Feel free to chime in with other ideas.

[cixl-writes]

to the one i loved most

SYPNOSIS — `` | minji has done everything in her power to pursue her greatest story but all of it seems to backfire at her. was love always this cruel? it wasn't like anything kim minji had envisioned before.

PAIRING — `` | kim minji x pham hanni

GENRE — `` | fluff start. heavy angst.

NOTE — `` | enjoy ^•^

CONTINUATION — `` | haerin ver // hanni ver

kim minji has always thought of her life like it was a story.

a story so well-written that whoever reads it falls in love with it the moment they've seen the first sentence. minji likes to think that she was the main heroine of a romance novel that potrays the perfect life of hers.

however, she had never gotten a romantic partner in her entire life.

sure, many had confessed to her about their feelings— but she knew that what they felt towards her was only temporary attraction that would disappear after losing interest in her. minji has read far too many books where those kind of confessions were written.

“the moment my eyes caught sight of you, it was like love at first sight.”

that was the most familiar sentence she had seen from all those letters she'd received. minji thinks that 'love at first sight' is simply stupid. what stupid person would fall in love just by seeing someone for the first time?

and then, pham hanni— oh-so-gorgeous and talented foreign exchange from australia pham hanni came and ruined her vision of love at first sight.

kim minji swears that the first time she had laid her eyes at hanni, there was that butterfly feeling she had heard of in her stomach. it was surreal, really.

the foreign student looked so ethereal with their school's uniform, it fits her albeit a bit too perfectly.

oh wow, look who was experiencing that 'stupid' love at first sight. how truly ironic.

"hi, uhm, do you mind if i sit here...?"

minji loved hanni's honey-like voice— perhaps the angels had rang the bell from heaven because she was hooked from the first time she had heard of it.

"oh, not at all!" the kim recovered quickly and flashed a small smile at the shorter girl, looking at her friends who only gave their own thumbs-up.

she just noticed it now, but hanni was speaking in slight broken korean— well, what could minji say? she was a foreign exchange student! duh, minji. "my name is minji kim, by the way. you can call me just minji!"

it was a relief that she had her fair share of english-speaking experience. the exchange student seemed stunned for a second before that smile took over her face, "hanni pham. i'm pleased to meet you, minji."

ah, if minji could turn back time, she would have encourage her younger self to push hanni away.

what a big mistake she had done.

that was the first flaw in kim minji's greatest story.

minji never knew why she agreed on the date that changed everything for both her and hanni.

she should have known better.

"minji, you look great! stop pacing around, you're making us all dizzy!"

her friends (who had helped her find the perfect outfit for this 'date') were fed up by her constant mutterings about how nervous she was and how she wanted to back down now.

"but guys–!"

"seriously, min. you're looking incredible! and don't back down now, it's finally your chance."

the girl huffed, trying to calm herself down. "she's almost here, you know." one spoke bluntly, making the now calm female panic again. "great job!" they smacked the former whilst minji looked at her mirror.

"you'll be fine... it's just pham hanni..."

it's just pham hanni.

it's just that damned pham hanni.

there was a knock on her door, making her snap out of her daze. "SHE'S HERE—!" the kim slapped her hand on one of her friend's mouth, glaring at them for being so loud. "shush!"

they began pushing minji down the stairs, practically forcing the girl to her date. "you got this, min! it's just that pham hanni!"

right, it's just that pham hanni.

she took a deep breath before opening the door, pushing her friends to hide. there she saw that pham hanni, grinning brightly as she stood in front of kim minji.

"hey, min! ready for our... date?"

there was a blush painting her cheeks for a second as she hesitated, smile growing shy.

minji, flustered and not trusting her voice at the moment, only nodded with a meek smile.

"uhm, let's go?"

"sure!"

if the present minji could turn back to that day, she would've convinced the minji back then to listen to her thoughts.

"it's not a date— you do not like hanni, kim minji."

ah, what a shame.

"ma, did you regret anything in your past?"

to hear her daughter, out of all people, question her that, minji was thrown back to reminiscing her days back then and she thought back to those days where the flaws in her perfect story started to appear— all because of one person.

pham hanni.

"no, i had never done anything to regret my past."

minji could remember it quite vividly. how she fell in love so quickly with that idiot's antics, how her stupid smile seemed so infectious, how her eyes seemed to hold the stars that were supposed to be in the dark skies, how hypnotizing her voice sounded whenever she was talking or singing.

everything about pham hanni is so perfect— minji thought of her as another main heroine in her perfect little story. that was such a mistake in her part because hanni— her precious hanni pham turned out to be the main antagonist in her story.

quite the unexpected kind of antagonist, if i must say so myself.

their separation was inevitable. kim minji, herself, had known this ever since the day they first got into a heated argument. hanni would always walk away as to not continue their argument and goes straight to y/n's room, eyes losing the anger that consumed it at the sight of her daughter.

how does minji know this? of course, she had seen it.

pham hanni loved her daughter more than anything. she was the one who thought of the name 'y/n' back when they were still in high school, it was oh-so-sweet at first. she loves the name, really she does!

but now, all kim minji could taste was the bitterness of that pham's broken promises whenever she was talking with her beloved daughter whom she had taken custody over of.

minji does not blame y/n for their separation throughout all those years, she knew that it was for the better if her relationship with hanni ended before it could do some real damage on the child's life.

but y/n— oh-so-innocent and naive kim y/n is so much like that woman.

their personality, resemblance in many ways, and everything; it was completely the same. minji hated it but can she really say that out loud? she loves her daughter with her whole heart, after all.

but that aside, the kim knew that she had to end it all herself.

their relationship was very much toxic and highly mentally draining. arguments were like a daily routine for them, insults always thrown around in the air, tension is always thick and suffocating, shading each other, and things she could not bring herself to remember anymore.

and on that very day, kim minji snapped.

"wouldn't it be just better to end this now, pham hanni?"

pham hanni never looked so pitiful until that very moment. "but min—"

"it's over for us, and you know it."

her voice was as cold as ice, poker face placed on so perfectly. ah, even now, she is flawless. her marvellous love story is finally coming into an end, what a shame. "min..."

"...i'm tired, hanni. i'm so sick of this. let's end this already."

she felt that familiar hand desperately clinging into her own, as if stopping her from doing what she had feared the most. "minji, please." hanni sounded so desperate.

minji almost felt bad for doing such a thing, but it had to be done.

"get out, pham hanni!"

"let's not— minji, stop. don't you care about what y/n would feel?!

they were raising their voices again, not caring if their daughter would hear them arguing now. "of course i care! she's my child, too!"

"then, why are you doing this?!"

"because i'm so sick of arguing with you every fucking day!"

minji never had thought that her story would become so... miserable.

"it's normal, isn't it?!"

"no, it's not! fuck, hanni... stop gaslighting yourself into thinking that all you've been doing is right all along!" she took a deep breath, calming herself a little as she held the doorknob of the entrance of their once cozy and warm home. "i'm doing it for our family!"

"did you think that leaving me alone for the whole day waiting for you to arrive home on our anniversary and forgetting about y/n when you were supposed to take her home strengthening our bond as a fucking family? well surprise, surprise! it does not! you're leaving a gap between y/n and me, not closing it, you idiot!"

hanni silenced herself, clutching her head in frustration as she closed her eyes. minji took a breather before speaking once more, "i loved you, hanni. so much that i ignored all those things your family and my family said about us. i tolerated those because i knew that you were always there for me, so... what happened to us?"

what happened to us?

that was the million dollar question that minji persistently tried to answer.

"what happened to the pham hanni i fell in love with? what happened to those promises you made with me...?" minji gripped the knob, feeling tears streaming down on her cheeks. she never bothered to wipe it away, expecting hanni to wipe the tears for her—

oh, right.

it's never going to happen when hanni is in a worser state than her.

"i loved you so much, hanni. you don't know how much time i've spent waiting for you to come home, how much time i've spent staring at my phone to see if you replied, how much time i've spent overthinking about what i did wrong for us to become like this!"

the kim panted lightly before turning away from the sight of the pham clinging into the door frame, "that was how much i've loved you, hanni. so, please get out of this house."

minji never cried before, not in front of hanni nor y/n— not in front of anyone. so, seeing her parents fighting once again and seeing her mother crying so much, y/n didn't waste any time; rushing to the scene right away.

"mom..? ma..?"

hanni slowly turned to her dearest daughter, smiling sadly with tears running on her cheeks before patting her head softly. "sorry, y/n. i made your ma cry," minji turned away from the two, not liking the fact that both of her loved ones (one former) was seeing her in such a miserable state.

"i'm going now. take care, alright? have the sweetest dream, you two. and i'm sorry again, for ruining our family."

"mom? where are you—"

hanni smiled at the confused look y/n had. "i'll be back soon, champ. we'll play all day when the time comes, alright?" the young y/n brightened up. "you promise?!"

"promise! in the meanwhile i'm gone, take care of your ma, alright?"

"of course!!"

"great! i'm going now, goodbye."

minji never bothered bidding her farewell, simply walking back to their shared room.

what has happened to us? perhaps, we were too in love that god got sick of it. perhaps, we were too happy in the eyes of others. perhaps, we're never really meant to be. she don't know, but one thing was for sure;

kim minji regretted so many things.

[bisamwilson]

If you feel up to explaining, could I please ask why you ship Tech and Phee?

The flirting and interactions between them seemed so out-of-character for Tech, and like Disney is trying to force a romance just because there always needs to be a romance in a Disney show/film. It also feels as if Disney chose Tech to be the one to have a potential romance because :

1.) The 'awkwardness' of flirting is amusing or considered 'cute' to viewers as if it's 'funny/cute' to watch someone who doesn't understand social cues or needs time to adjust to interactions be thrown for a loop or react in a different way than what is socially expected thus Disney can have more chances to add this 'lightheartedness/humour' when it's really not,

2.) They are trying to follow the same line that they do in most of their films with the one person the team who is considered the 'nerd/geek' to 'get the girl' instead of actually giving any character(s) who would be a better match for the 'girl' thus continuing their line of overused tropes that more so appeal to the masses of heterosexual neurotypical viewers.

I don't mean this as hate or anything, I'm just trying to figure out how those who ship it, see it. I seek to understand, not judge or cause discourse. And have added my opinion one the matter to simply give my viewpoint. I'm not attempting to change or alter your views, just to hear another's perspective on it, if you're willing to give it.

Thank you for reading this and I'm sorry if it bothers you. If it does, feel free to ignore this entirely.

this does actually really bother me, and i wasn’t gonna answer, but i went to sleep annoyed about it last night and woke up annoyed about it still

mostly this bothers me bc it was entirely unsolicited. like if this had been phrased maybe as a “what’s the thing that you like most about tech and phee together?” or “what made you start to ship tech and phee” i’d probably be less annoyed, but, even though you claim to not be trying to change anyone’s mind here and to only understand, this ask is basically you coming to my inbox and saying “this makes no sense. here’s why it doesn't make sense (and why i actually think it’s at least lightly problematic in my point #1, but i’m gonna continue writing as if that doesn't count as causing discourse) and now i want you to defend your position of shipping two entirely fictional characters who have a legitimately canon romance subplot going”

do you see why that would bother me?

like if you don’t like tech and phee together, and don’t like that i like tech and phee together, that’s fine. block the tag (i think i’ve settled on using techphee as their tag for now) or just unfollow me, but like. don’t come into what is basically my house and very passive aggressively ask that i explain and defend the decor i’ve chosen to decorate it with

i don’t really agree with your points either. i don’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong with adding romance to shows, because people generally like seeing it and it’s a thing a lot of people experience. i thought it was kind of nice here, actually, because i wasn’t expecting it. as far as i remember, the only clone we’ve really seen with a partner is Cut, who was pretty explicitly shown to have a lot of different values than the other clones due to the fact that he deserted from the GAR, and his arc was a lot about the morality of the clones not being given a choice as to who they are, if they can love, if they can do something and live a life outside of the war they were bred for. the war is over now, it makes sense that the clones might start to find partners or people to maybe want to half settle down with, and it’s a good way to reestablish that the clones that have defected from the empire—while in danger bc of their status as traitors—have a greater sense of their own agency and different priorities than they did before the clone wars ended. they have the freedom to maybe try and live a life now, and for a lot of people, there’s a good chance that might constitute having a partner. romance for a clone is a rather revolutionary idea in universe. it’s not something they would have been allowed before

as for tech specifically, i don’t necessarily think it’s out of character for him to start develop some amount of feelings for someone who has been interested in him from the start, who has a decently wide wealth of knowledge given all the artifacts she knows so much about (and what cultures they come from!), and who has a great backstory of being a caring pirate who goes on these adventures at least in part to give items of little monetary value back to the people they have great sentimental value for after they’ve had to become refugees. she also obviously cares about the bad batch, given she brought them all to her hidden slice of paradise despite the fact she knows they’re all very much wanted people who could very easily bring real trouble given the empire is after them, and she obviously likes listening to tech talk and likes his personality when even his brothers have made fun of the way he tends to ramble (like in the bad batch/ rescuing echo arc of the clone wars). and tech doesn’t seem to mind the attention, given the small smiles he sends her way literally the entire pabu episode, even waiting back a bit to talk to her when she went to drop the artifact off when the rest of the batch had moved forward. at the very least, he seems intrigued by her (as he should be!!!! she’s cool and interesting as hell!!!!)

their interactions are rather soft and sweet, i think. phee’s flirting, sure, and she’s been pretty obvious about it from the get go, but she’s not bulldozing past any boundaries here. their interactions in this episode, especially, made it seem like they’re just in some beginning stages, but they genuinely seem to be pretty comfortable in each other’s company, given the two of them stuck together while making rounds, or their interactions at shep’s dinner table. it’s soft, it’s sweet, it’s slow, but tech’s small smiles whenever she flirts with him are showing that he does understand these particular social cues when she flirts with him, and he’s reciprocating to a degree. perhaps their first interactions aside, i don’t think tech really was ever unaware that she was flirting, it was more just surprise she was flirting with him

which brings me to your #2 point. if there was gonna be a romance subplot (which, again, i wasn’t expecting, just due to the nature of the stories of the clones), i 100% didn’t think it was going to be with tech. there are a decent amount of tech girlies, sure, and some fans find him attractive, but i absolutely would have expected that subplot to go to hunter for lots of reasons, including that he’s the most conventionally attractive and classically handsome of the bad batch with the long hair and the tall dark and handsome thing going, he’s generally the leader of the batch and the leader is usually the one that gets the girl, and he’s the most generally accepted “dad” figure to omega (while the others are more much older brother/uncle types) which means a romance subplot would have also given omega another parental figure which is a very common trope (single dad meets perfect step mom kind of thing). i’ve seen others express this same opinion since the episode aired (surprise at tech getting to have the romance rather than hunter). i also don’t know who you think of the batch is the “better match” for phee, bc i don’t think any of them would match better than tech. both of them are very passionate people with an obvious thirst for knowledge. wrecker’s great, but i don’t see a match there at all, and i don’t think hunter’s personality lends itself to a romance with phee specifically, because they don't really seem to have any common interests there and phee doesn't seem interested in being a parental figure to omega but more of a cool aunt type, even if i think his personality would lend itself to a romance if that was something he personally wanted.

tldr: i like the romance subplot here specifically bc it is more than just a typical thrown in thing like it would be for every other show because this show is about clones in a post clone war galaxy, i think tech and phee are actually fairly well matched, and i don’t really appreciate someone coming into my ask box to tell me that the (canon!!!) ship i found cute is bad and out of character, actually, under the guise of wanting to understand my viewpoint

[aceontheline]

Romance is Timeless: Prologue (Chapter 4)

C//W: Physical, Mental, Financial Abuse, S.A

Amy had agreed to date her newly close friend, Leon. Oh, how quickly she realizes the colossal mistake she's made.

((I've inserted a text cut. Only proceed with this chapter if you're okay enough to do so))

I don't understand what it is about my so-called "luck" when it comes to dating. Men or women, they've ended up being huge pieces of trash. Leon was no exception. In fact, I'd say that he was the worst of them all. Giovanni cheating on me with those girls felt like a walk in the park. Jessica forcing me to lose weight? Fucked up, sure. But not as bad as me being someone's personal punching bag/walking, talking sex doll.

Leon was a total sweetheart in the beginning. Always checking in on me, making me food when I forgot to eat. Super sweet, cuddly, funny & smart... The list went on and on. I know exactly where things went wrong. One of the boys from the friend group went off the handle after breaking things off with his girlfriend at the time. Leon witnessed his close friend, Kyle, slowly break down.

Kyle became this person who was obsessed with money, cars & women. But not the kind of "woman" that I was, for example. Kyle wanted a woman who didn't have body hair, no cellulite or stretch marks, had a "body count" down to 0 or less than 2, short and small... Basically, a child. I had called Kyle out on that and he stopped being friends with me after that. OH– Speaking of friends... I'm just going to list the ways that I was put through the worst type of crap.

Starting off with mental abuse. I was suddenly always coming home "too late" from work. Or hanging out with friends. During this time, I actually reconnected with Blitz and Husker. I would hang out with them separately on occasion. When the breaks in my work schedule would allow me. Blitz kept up his goofy and friendly energy toward me... Husker was getting a little flirty. But after not receiving love or compliments from Leon sometimes, it felt nice to hear Husker say the nice things he did. After about 7 months of dating, Leon though, he demanded that I lose all my guy friends. "I don't trust you around them when I'm not around. I don't hang with the girls anymore, so it's only fair you do this for me." To my knowledge, this was true. I slowly started ghosting Blitz and Husker, which made me feel sad to do. Eventually, it turned into: "You only leave the apartment for work & going shopping, the latter is done with me there too." So... Isolation.

Leon putting his hands on me was also common. If I didn't clean the apartment to his standards, he'd get me pretty good for it. Planned to hang out with friends? Without him? He'd go apeshit. Then, he claimed he was merely "teaching me a lesson" or "correcting my behavior." Leon would also just use me as a punching bag if he had a bad day at work. First, venting his frustrations. Then when I'd tell him I was too tired from work & clean-up to listen, he'd say, "Oh? You think YOU'RE tired? Let me give you a real reason to be 'tired' then."

The repeated counts of SA... Every time I told him I wasn't in the mood, Leon would guilt me into it. "You're my girlfriend. It's one of your duties to please me. If you don't, I could always look elsewhere," "I'm showing my attraction for you by doing this. I thought you'd want that," "Fine. No action from you? You can cuddle the long pillow you got because you don't deserve cuddles from me if you're not putting out..." If I started to cry, he'd just threaten the typical, "Oh, I'll give you a reason to cry."

These reasons were the main factors in me wanting to get the hell out. Problem is... There weren't that many gigs open for me at the time to continue my event planning gig. And Leon would make me pay him rent, as I was staying with him in his apartment, so that I could be in an at least somewhat safer part of Pentagram City. I knew I wasn't supposed to do this, but I asked Leon if I could just go out for a walk by myself, as I needed to make an important phone call. It was in regard to my "women's health." Leon grumbled a bit, agreeing to it.

I was doing no such thing. Instead, I called Husker once I was out of earshot. His pleasant voice made me feel better as soon as I heard him talk.

"Well well... Here's a name I haven't heard in a while. How're you doin', Amy? You wanna plan a hangout tonight? Or did you just miss hearing my voice?" Husker says all this in a teasing, somewhat happy tone. Poor Husker. Blissfully unaware of everything I was about to tell him.

After clarifying as to why I was calling, going into detail about Leon's abuse... I could hear Husker growling on the other end. He went on a rant of his own, saying how bad it was that I ended up in a situation like this. He thinks for a moment, then says the following in a rather stern tone of voice:

"I am getting you out of this. NOW. You are getting out of there & a restraining order on him while you're at it. Pack all your things & break things off with him. I'm sending some muscle & transportation to your place. You want them to take you straight to the station? Or to me?"

"... Husker, I can't thank you enough for this. Really. I mean it... I-I'll just go straight to you. I need a friendly presence in my life right now..." I reply, my voice a bit shaky. "Maybe I can see about staying with Blitz again until I find a place of my own" I finish.

"Ah yeah, I'd look into that. I'd offer you to stay with me, but you know him more, right?" Husker asks.

I also reiterate that it's because Blitz isn't as overtly flirty with me, to which Husker laughs. "Knowing you don't get it from Leon, though... Isn't it nice to feel loved & wanted, hm? Besides, he's an idiot. You deserve all the love, doll," he replies. Now I'm blushing a little, heading back up the stairs. I tell Husker to let me know when transportation is getting closer to me, so that I can run from Leon if needed. Husker sighs heavily after hearing that, agreeing to it.

Leon gets home from work and sees my suitcases briefly. I see the involuntary, somewhat scary twitch in his eye as he demands an explanation. At first, I told him that I planned a work related trip and that I needed to leave for a little while so I could be closer to the gig. Leon seemed to buy this, then asked me for what's dinner tonight. I sigh in relief, remembering that I was actually cooking it at one point. "Filet Mignon with Garlic Butter Potatoes. One of your favorites," I reply in a weak, somewhat happy tone. Leon nods in approval, going to kiss my cheek. He leaves & goes to the kitchen, grabbing himself a plate. I silently cried, as that kiss on the cheek was the first random act of love I've gotten from him in 2 months...

Just then, I get a text from Husker. "Transports on its way for you." At first, I hesitate, out of pure nerves and adrenaline pumping through me. But then, Leon "corrects" me for making his steak wrong. There's now a new black eye & bruises. Luckily for me, I was smart in figuring stuff out like this... Leon had cameras in his apartment, in case anyone came in & stole stuff or something. I set it up so the footage would make it to my phone as well. So, when I'd take this evidence to the cops later, they'd believe me. Along with everyone else in our friend group. When I got that text from Husker, I got up in Leon's face. My confidence returning.

"Listen... I have been nothing but nice to you. Patient, loving, understanding... Yet what have you given me time & time again? ABUSE. It's over, Leon. I'm leaving you." As I say this, I hold my butterfly knife in hand, making him tremble a little bit. "If you try to stop me, I KNOW how to use this!" I finish, holding the knife up to his throat.

"What? You think I'm scared of some small girl with a knife?" Leon jokes. "Also, 'leaving me?' Real funny, Baby. I've got my hooks on you. You ain't going nowhere–"

Just then, Leon and I hear some banging on the door. I confidently walk up & see three tall & large bodyguards. One of them goes to the room & gets my suitcases. Another one wedges himself in between Leon and I, while the last one of them takes me down to the car outside. "It's over, Leon. Don't call or text me," I say, following the bodyguard down the stairs. As the one with the suitcases leaves, so does the bodyguard who was shielding me from Leon.

When I arrived to Husker's Casino, I saw another familiar face sitting with him. Blitz. Tears in my eyes, I hugged Blitz as tightly as I could. When I tried to tell him, he clarified that Husker had already filled him in on everything. "As much as I wanna kill the bastard myself for doing this to ya... I know you probably wouldn't want me to" Blitz said, his voice shaking with anger. I nodded in agreement, knowing full well that killing Leon would probably pin Blitz and I & get us into deep trouble. And that it wouldn't really solve anything in the long run.

"I know, I know. No need to get the cops on my back. I'm kinda already in legal webs for I.M.P, but I got someone fighting in my corner for that. As for you, Amy? You're more than welcome to stay, until you're back on your feet. Same deal as before. Cleaning & occasional cooking. I just want you to see you happy & away from these jerks..." Blitz said, sympathetic hands on my shoulders.

"Thank you so much. Both of you, really. Blitz, for letting me stay again. And Husker... For doing all of that for me. The guards & the way out–"

"No need to thank me, doll. Was just doing what I knew was right. Now, c'mere," Husker replies, his arms for a hug. "I know how much you like hugs, ya Cutie," he finishes his thought.

I walk up to Husker, giving him a hug with the energy I could muster. Just then, him and Blitz take a look at my face. Husker turns off the club's multicolored lighting, shifting it to normal. He and Blitz are horrified to see the fresh bruises & black eye on me before I remind them that I have the footage of it to show to police. They collectively sigh in relief, as Husker goes to get me some ice for the eye. The guards recieved instructions to take my suitcases to Blitz' apartment then come back to the Casino, so I see them walk through the doors. Blitz asks me what I plan on doing now... To which I shrug my shoulders. As soon as Husker comes back in, I look to him curiously.

"I heard ya, doll. You're coming with me to get that fucker put in Jail. Or get a restraining order. Whichever comes first" Husker stated.

"If I may, Sir... Amy should get the order first so that Leon can not come within a reasonable distance of her. Press charges as well, of course. But while courts are processing this, Amy should either get the order or have Blitz or one of us protecting her" one of the bodyguards pipes up. Husker smirks.

"Good idea. Amy, you go home with Blitz, alright? Get some good rest & some time to think this all over, okay? Once you know what you wanna do, call me, okay?" Husker demands, to which I agree.

Blitz and I head back to his apartment. My suitcases are in the living room, delicately put down. Once he and I got situated... He hugged me close. "I'm so proud. Getting out of that must've been so scary. But you did it" he said reassuringly. I silently wept into Blitz' shoulder. I knew he was right... I just didn't care to hear how "brave" I was, over and over again. Because in truth... I felt like a coward. For never leaving Leon, even when a small part of me knew I should have.

I was a victim of abuse, through & through. I had seen the "Good days" Leon had and stuck with the belief that those would come back... Eventually. But when they didn't, and that belief bit me on the ass, I knew I needed an out.

Part 3: ( Here )

Masterpost: ( Here )

[bengiyo]

Never Let Me Go Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Probably the show I'm most worried about sticking the finale this week.

Last time, we mostly collected all of the pieces and set the stage for the finale. Everyone either pointed a gun or had a gun pointed at them last week, except for Chanon who had a somewhat rushed reconciliation with Palm before exiting the story. The power of gay love brought Tanya out of her coma. We also scattered Mam's ashes. Kit is a terrible villain, who seemed to genuinely believe he could make Palm hurt Neungdiao. Palm demanded Kit shoot him. Neungdiao demanded Palm shoot him. Kit demanded Chopper shoot him. Neungdiao demanded Kit shoot him. So, someone is definitely getting shot today.

I shouldn't laugh, but Phuwin's face in these ransom messages is sending me.

I want to believe in Chopper, but I don't trust him showing up in all black.

Episode Title: Forever. Pack it in, everyone. We all were wrong on the poll.

Nat is so good. I like how they've had him playing villains or sketch dudes lately.

Phuwin's reaction as Neungdiao seeing Palm get shot is convincing. I like when they let Phuwin play big emotions. First noticed it on The Gifted: Graduation.

He shot his dad! I'm so glad Perth joined GMMTV. Pairing him with Nat was a big brain decision.

Well, we did foreshadow Palm's shoulders last episode.

Whoever it was that shot Kit's arm is really good.

Neungdiao, hands covered in Palm's blood, being pulled away from the door to surgery by Ben and Chopper is a fantastic visual.

Perth is a pretty crier.

I saw @respectthepetty posting earlier about the romantic chemistry between Perth and Chimon and have to agree. I hope they have time to workshop the romance before they start filming Dangerous Romance.

Phuwin and Pond are really pretty. I liked Pond joking in the latest BTS that Phuwin's mom would hit him if he didn't say her son was pretty.

Palm losing feeling in one of his legs has to be devastating for someone as physically active as him.

We can't have two minutes of physical therapy without Palm running away in a preview. I swear.

Love where Ben's mind is at. My boy is consistent.

Big fan of Nuengdiao being stubborn and not letting Palm shove everyone away during his treatment.

Palm doesn't seem optimistic about telling Tanya.

Yes, Palm, take what Tanya said in the worst way possible.

These two and the running away notes.

Ah yes, the bar. Why is Palm alone? I feel like Chanon would want to be here to help Palm and connect with Mam's life.

I love Jojo. Now we get to watch Palm reminisce about sweet moments we didn't see earlier on the beach.

Phuwin has hips!!

I still think Tanya should manage the business and let Nuengdiao go to school.

I love Tanya. She said, "Go get your man."

Palm you can't be naming the bar after him and wearing the branded hat if you're also trying to distance yourself.

Oh my these two are so cheesy.

Palm be getting on my damn nerves about not accepting Nuengdiao's money.

I'm with Nuengdiao. He was clearly flirting from jump.

Hey, that was a pretty good final kiss.

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended. I enjoyed a lot of individual pieces in this show, but I don't think it all comes together exactly. I don't think I ever understood Palm's initial attraction and devotion to Nuengdiao, and some of the major machinations felt a bit forced. Still, I enjoyed all of the performances, and genuinely came to appreciate Pond between this and Dirty Laundry. I think if you are looking to enjoy bodyguard romance with class barrier, this show will do fine.