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i-dont-want-your-hysteria · 4 years ago

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Up In the Air (Joe x Reader)

(surprise gift for you guys on Joe's birthday ^_^ I started this almost exactly a year ago, and it's finally done! Someone pointed out that I slightly hinted at the plot of this in my last fic post... you caught me.)

Words: 4,028

Prompt: Spring, 1983. Joe has an opportunity in his sights, but as luck would have it, it does not go his way (or does it...?)

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(1983)

"God, it was so embarrassing!" Joe put his palms over his eyes as he whined to Sav. The singer was flat on his back in the middle of their bed, and Sav's back was against the wall opposite him. The bassist had his arms crossed in exasperation.

They were back in a fresh, new hotel room after another flight to another city. They'd been settled in for a while, and- as far as you knew- Joe was physically well. Emotionally, however...

"What are the odds that things were placed so perfectly for me today, and then-?!" he swatted the air above him, "That happens? 'Just my luck!"

Sav didn't consider it as dire of a situation as Joe did. In fact, he seemed rather entertained than sympathetic.

"That was out of your control, mate."

"I know it was, but-" he sat up, "Y/n was right there! How was I supposed to keep it together?!"

"If it were anyone else other than her, you still would've had to keep it together, you know," Sav tilted his head down, but had his eyes looking up.

"Well, you're no help," Joe grumbled, crossing his arms back at the bassist and flopping back down onto the mattress.

"There's nothing to help you with!" Sav took a seat at the foot of the bed, "It's not my fault you got-"

Joe sat up again in a snap, warning with a pointed finger, "Don't say it."

"I was just gonna say that I had nothing to do with you being-"

"Don't say it!" Joe pleaded again.

"Joe, it's not that big of a deal that you-"

"Sav!"

"Alright, fine!" Sav threw up both hands, shaking his head and narrowly fighting off a laugh, "I won't say it!"

A loud sigh came from Joe, his head hanging now. The heat of embarrassment refused to leave his face.

"...do you think she's still hung up on it, too?" his voice went quiet, and his tone adopted a sad air.

Sav raised his hand, rubbed his fingers together, and patted Joe's ankle reassuringly.

"It's hard to say no," he admitted, "I know I wouldn't have liked to be in either of your shoes today."

~(5 hours earlier)~

A hand took a grip on your right forearm without warning. It snapped you from the hypnotic, musical trance you'd been in for most of the flight. Having been placed next to the singer for the first time on an airplane, you knew it was his action without a doubt. You looked down and sure enough, Joe's hand was there- holding onto you just a bit too tightly.

Your free hand took off your headphones and you asked him, "Everything alright?"

The singer wasn't focused on you, or anything, it seemed. "Unfocused" was probably the best word you could think of to describe him. His head was slightly tilted downwards, but his eyes were fixed on the back of the chair in front of him. Despite that, it appeared as if he couldn't see it no matter how hard he tried.

You gathered this impression from a split second of looking at him, but as soon as he heard your question, Joe's hold on you was instantly released. His own trance was snapped as well.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. I thought you were the armrest..."

"You were holding on pretty tight," you pointed out, "Something wrong?"

That same look on his face was back again; unfocused. His hand slowly found its way back to the armrest- now that he knew it wasn't your arm. You saw his hand shaking before he gripped it tightly.

"You don't look so good," you noted, adopting a frown.

He hesitated slightly before going very quiet, his face suddenly appearing pallid.

"Fuck..." Joe cursed himself, "I fucked up, I fucked up..."

You pressed again, "Joe... tell me what's wrong..."

He lied to you in a halting voice when a new blush seemed to form on his face, "Um... it's nothing much. There's just- something I haven't told you, and I should've mentioned it before we got on board. But I..."

He fell quiet.

"Yeah...?" you urged him to go on.

"I get... seasick- airsick... sometimes. Not every time, but... every now and then I do- and..."

He visibly swallowed, his breath trembling when he slowly shut his eyes.

Your eyebrows went up, alarmed, "And you're not feeling so good?"

"No, no, no...!" his inner voice screamed.

"Not really, but I'm fine, don't worry about me. It just happens."

His efforts to shrink the overall worry didn't work, as you instantly knew that if things went south, you were the only nearby acquaintance of his who could help him. You were also trapped with him for 2 more hours until you landed, so you would've had to help him if need be.

"Oh god- are you gonna be sick?" your hand raised up slightly to reach for a sick bag.

"No! No, I'm more dizzy than anything..."

"Well, take this-" you handed him a sick bag, "-and just try not to focus on your surroundings. And if you can't hold it down... well just keep it in the bag and away from me, okay?"

"...okay," he exhaled and took it from you, desperately hoping it wouldn't come to that. For fuck's sake, he was already embarrassed enough. He felt like a child. Even worse; he felt like your child.

Joe shut his eyes again and rested his head back on his seat. His whole body looked drained of energy, and you saw sweat forming on his forehead. It was obvious to you he was trying to make himself appear more okay than he was.

"I can do this," Joe nearly said aloud, "I can get through this without her knowing."

Unfortunately, for him, you already knew.

"The poor guy," you were thinking with sympathy, "Never knew he could look so ill."

You asked, "You've been feeling bad for a while, haven't you?"

"...what?" he squinted under his eyelids, lying to you again, "No, not really. Why, can you tell?"

"I don't wanna sound rude... but yeah, you kind of look like hell."

Joe quietly whined at your declaration.

"I know that look, Elliott- I've been in this position before."

The man next to you was intrigued by what you implied. He was suddenly beginning to think that maybe his situation wasn't as embarrassing as it appeared.

His eyes opened, "Wait, have you ever-?"

"Oh- no, I never get sick on planes, but you're not the first case I've ever seen."

"Great. This means she's stronger than me."

You held up your bottle, "You want some water? Maybe settle your stomach a little?"

Joe felt his stomach turn at the mention of liquid and shook his head, "No, I'll be fine..."

It was another lie, but you decided maybe it was best you just let him be. Perhaps he wasn't that bad.

Joe, on the other hand, was fighting the sickness with all the strength he could muster- hoping you wouldn't see it.

"Don't mess this up," he was telling himself, "She's right there. Keep it together and don't balls it up...!"

Going with your plan, you let him be, and put your headphones back on.

He took a deep breath, "Fuck, if only the seatbelt lock wasn't on... then at least I could hide in the bathroom..."

The Leppard waited in terrified silence for his ailment to subside. With the current turbulence, it was impossible. Every shudder and bump made him want to heave until there was nothing left in his stomach. Worst of all, there was no where he could run to; he was trapped.

Oddly enough, before the sickness hit him, he was actually excited to be trapped there.

It was no secret among the band members that Joe quickly developed a crush on you. What started out as a feeling of preferring you over anyone else in the crew soon turned into a reach for romance. There was no time for him to make a move in the midst of the tour, though, which left him to suffer in his teenage desire alone.

When he heard he would be seated next to you on the next flight, he instantly knew it was an opportunity he couldn't afford to waste. This was the first time he'd sat directly by you on a plane, after all. It was a brilliant time to make a move and bond together. He'd been nervous ever since he sat down, but he never got the chance to make a flirt or decent conversation before his body betrayed him. Yes, it was an optimistic opportunity, but now Joe wished it'd been anywhere except up in the air.

The stress of the situation only made him feel worse- but he wouldn't accept the fact that he was about to lose this divine opening.

Not 4 minutes of your music went by when the plane shook yet again. When it did, you thought you saw Joe suddenly move from the corner of your eye. When your head turned, you saw his fist pressed against his mouth, an arm around his stomach, and a green tint over his pallid face.

"Woah, you alright?" you took your headphones off again.

Joe only nodded, closing his eyes to reassure you (but also to reprimand himself under the surface).

"No, no no!! Stop being sick for fuck's sake! You won't have a chance with her!!"

"I'm good, I'm good," he swallowed again, wiping sweat off his bangs, "Go back to your music."

"Don't lie to me, Joe. You look terrible-! Are you sure you don't need anything?"

"I'm really not that bad, Y/n. Just a little... motion sickness..." his breathing became labored, and he angled his body as far to his right as he could. He began to fidget with something as he swallowed, "Ohh..."

The cabin teetering around him somehow made things even worse.

"Honey, I don't think it's just a little," your concern was peaked, and a hand was hovering over his arm, "You look like you're about to throw up or pass out, so how about we get you some club soda and you can rest, okay? If you want to, you can even-"

Joe was turned completely away from you, and had suddenly lurched forward to vomit into the sick bag you'd given him earlier. You knew that any hope of him holding back his condition was impossible now.

You'd initially flinched at his retching; cringing and holding your breath. Only a second passed until you remembered your duty; you were the only friend nearby.

"Uh oh-" sympathetically, you sighed and reached out to him, your hands holding his hair back, "That's not good..."

***

"I feel so humiliated... I was just- so deathly sick! I threw up twice, Sav- twice! And she was right next to me! I feel awful that she had to put up with it...! I feel like that's on me. She probably thinks I'm disgusting; she probably sees me as this huge fucking pansy who can't keep his lunch down while flying..."

"Mate, getting sick on flights isn't a personality trait, and I'm pretty sure Y/N knows that, too."

Joe, who was laying down again, scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"...I think this situation isn't all that bad, really," Sav shrugged, his voice going up in pitch to take on a suggestive tone.

"What on earth makes you say that?"

"It's quite obvious! I just think you were-" he adopted Joe's voice and air quotes, "-'so deathly sick' that you didn't even realize exactly what was happening...!"

"Really? How so?"

"Oh, don't even get me started, Joe."

*** Joe was laying against you now, exhausted from the physical labor forced on his stomach and throat. He was still pale and shivering, but finally willing to accept your advice and remedies. You'd ordered him some club soda (and some mints from your purse), and suggested he take a rest.

This left you where you were now. He had a hand on his stomach, and another one under your hand to calm him.

To say the least, it felt like having a nice, heavy blanket partially draped on you. You couldn't help but think it was at least a little funny. To most people, they'd be absolutely repulsed by a man with a weak stomach sleeping on them during a flight. You couldn't blame them, as Joe could still hurl at any given moment. However, the instinct to care for him overpowered any repulsion you may have had. To you, Joe was like a sick puppy, and you were the one who found him first. You knew he needed you in that moment, and you were okay with it. It was a nice feeling, to say the least.

Joe moved his head against you in his weary and mostly-asleep state of consciousness. A soft grumble vibrated from his sore throat.

Amid those circumstances that would normally gross you out, you managed to smile at him. That, and you gently squeezed his hand to reassure him that he was safe.

That pale, clammy version of the singer you were trapped with wasn't the form of himself he put on display to just anyone. This was a whole new side of him that you knew he never intended you to see; he was helpless. Joe had given in and finally let himself be helpless around you. You found it was rather sweet, and even somehow softening your heart.

It almost felt like a strange honor that not many people had the privilege of possessing, given that Joe tried so hard to hide it from you.

Him desperately vying to avoid your concern was typical for any one of the guys. Naturally, none of them wanted to appear vulnerable around you, but Joe seemed so hell-bent on keeping up his charade of feeling fine. You wondered what reasons he had for his strict act. Perhaps it was the intimate public setting that drove him to conceal his motion sickness at all costs. Maybe it was in order to save himself from certain embarrassment; you really didn't know.

Whatever reason he had, it didn't dwell in your mind for long. All you knew was that even with a half-dead, cold-sweated Joe on your shoulder, your heart was fluttering in a way that was even more inexplicable than his behavior.

*** "First of all," Sav held up a sassy finger at Joe, "She was the one who suggested she hold your hand, plus she held your hair back, plus she let you sleep on her shoulder and tried to make you feel better. Sounds rather tender, if you ask me. Tenderly intimate."

"I'll tell you what was 'intimate'-" Joe's grumpiness was still prominent, "-her watchin' me regurgitate my fuckin guts from 10 inches away!"

"But those were all girlfriend duties!" Sav bounced in his seat, trying to get the point across.

Joe finally fell silent. He sat up, and Sav could see the blush in his cheeks.

"...girlfriend duties?" he nearly whispered to the bassist.

"I'm right and you know it. Tell me those weren't girlfriend-ly actions! She got affectionate with you!"

Joe let his sight fall, then rise back up after a brief moment of pondering.

"She did, didn't she..."

"She definitely did."

Sav was smirking at him now.

Joe asked him again, "You really think she did...?"

"There's not a doubt in my mind."

"Oh-" Joe made a swatting motion and shook his head. He looked diagonally down at the floor, "She probably would've been affectionate to any one of us in that situation..."

Sav laughed out loud at his friend's comment. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was back at home, gossiping in Joe's childhood bedroom during a sleepover.

"Mate, when I had food poisoning last month, she didn't wanna get near me! But today, she was touchin' you and strokin' you and whatnot! Now that I mention it, I saw her smile while you were sleeping and holding her hand! Believe me, she wanted to help you. It was like she had an excuse to get close to you, just like you saw the flight as an excuse to get close to her."

Resting his case, Sav crossed his arms, tongue in his cheek.

They both remained quiet while Joe sat in thought. The pieces slowly began to fit together in his head, forming a train of thought he could somewhat follow.

"Suppose you are right; what do you suppose I do about it now?"

Sav could tell his argument was a success. His work there was done.

"That's entirely up to you."

*** You hadn't been awake that long, and were still pretty groggy when dawn began to break the next day. The unfortunate sensation of jet lag was beginning to catch up with you at that time, too. It didn't matter, because it was all part of the business. Your day would begin soon enough, jet lag or not.

After rubbing your eyes and throwing on your robe, you drew back the curtains and peered out at the misty morning. Thinking the hypnotic trance might wake you up more, you began to stare. Just as quickly, your eyes began to flutter shut again. Right before they did, however, there came a gentle knock at your door.

Blinking yourself back awake, you brought yourself to answer the call.

Initially, you found no one outside your room via the door's peephole. However, when you opened the door to search for anyone nearby, there came an unexpected surprise.

Rather than a person standing before you, a colorful bouquet of flowers lay on your doorstep. Of course, it was strange, but it also left you quickly growing bashful. You just hoped it wasn't one of your guy friends playing an early morning joke on you. Even so, your mind would be too cloudy to process that.

Looking around with sleepy confusion and flattery, you crouched down and picked up the bright bundle. You shuffled your fingers through the top of the arrangement to try and find a label or card that would give away the sender's identity. Eventually, you found the exact clue you were looking for; in the form of a small note.

The fresh, awakening scent of the blossoms wafted around you as you made out the handwriting.

"I'm so sorry I almost threw up on you on the plane! 🙁 -Joe"

It couldn't have been any more straightforward if it'd been put up on a neon sign. You chuckled out loud in the empty hallway and peered around to find a trace of the man in question.

Instantly, you found his eyes peeking from around the corner a few yards away. A guilty smile on his lips made him look so shy- in contrast to his average demeanor.

"This was really unnecessary, you know," the bundle was waved teasingly at him.

"I felt it was necessary," Joe's body slowly appeared more from behind the corner, "Considering you had no choice but to put up with disgusting ol' me."

Leaning on your door's frame, your eyes followed him while he strolled forward and leaned his shoulder on the wall in front of you. You both wore humorous smiles aimed at each other. If you could think any more clearly, you'd recognize this as flirting. Maybe it was- but it seemed oddly natural in that moment.

"Despite what you may think," your eyebrows lifted as you raised the bouquet up to your chin, "You weren't as gross as you expect. That, and you weren't any trouble."

"I just feel icky about the whole thing," he scrunched up his face and shrugged in disgust, "I promise it won't happen again- if I'm seated next to you."

"Don't worry about it, Joe. You just had a bad flight; everyone's got them from time to time."

"Not you, apparently."

Joe's smile turned rather bashful when he diverted his eye contact elsewhere. He silently chuckled with a hint of embarrassment. When you'd reassured him, he all of a sudden realized what Sav was trying to make him see. There was something in your eyes and your smile and your voice that just spoke to Joe; something that hit him and made him realize you wanted to be in the position you were in the day before.

You wanted to be affectionate with him.

Out of his daze, Joe spoke up after a brief hesitation, "So- um, I know it's early... but it's the perfect time for breakfast, so would you wanna go downstairs and get something to eat?"

"You mean with disgusting ol' you?"

"Don't worry-" his face almost went red at the cheeks, and his dimple appeared at the corner of his mouth, "You don't have to think about me keeping it down this time."

Your arm holding the flowers dropped down to your side as you broke up into giggles.

"I'm not worried- in fact, I'd love to go."

You couldn't be certain, but you swore you saw Joe's face actually go red that time.

"Cool! Cool. Did you wanna get dressed or-?"

"Well, you don't seem to be dressed either, so why should I?" you reached back into your room to place the bouquet inside. When you shut the door, you joined the singer, "Let's hit it before Mike and Mal take all the good pastries."

Joe showed his teeth in his grin when you came to his side and began walking.

"If they're all taken, I'll steal one for you- considering I owe you a favor after what you did for me yesterday."

"What did I do?"

The answer was simple, but Joe didn't know how to say it without implying his feelings for you.

"You nursed me back to heath- or at least tried to..."

"I told you not to worry about it..."

"Alright, alright, I'll try not to."

"I'll tell you something, Elliott," you giggled as you both got inside the lift, "You've got a strange way of flirting."

Heat rushed to Joe's cheeks, and more threatened to join them at the thought of you noticing.

"Oh yeah?" he laughed.

"You hope I won't notice every tiny effort, yet you keep doing tiny things to make me notice. Even if we're, for example- up in the air..."

"Oh, god..." just like that, Joe thought he'd be the first person on earth to die of embarrassment. He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Fuck- please don't tell me I was that obvious..."

"Calm down, don't make yourself sick again," you laughed and patted his back, "If it makes you feel any better... I did notice what you were trying to do on the flight. And- um... it worked. So..."

You stood on your toes, and lightly planted a kiss on his cheek, "Let's just say- you don't have to be sick if you want to hold my hand next time."

Joe's hand lowered from his face, and he quickly flashed a bashful glance at you before darting his eyes away.

The elevator doors opened, the smell of coffee seeping everywhere. Instead of walking out, Joe reached out to you.

"You said I didn't have to be sick next time, and I'm quite well now..."

A bashful smile of your own made an appearance as you took his hand like you did the previous day. When you did, Joe giggled to himself.

You glanced over, "What?"

With a pause, Joe rolled in his lips, then looked right at you, "Oh nothing. Just- if you get sick on the next flight, I guess we'll be even, then."

"So, you're gonna sit with me on the next flight, then?" you raised an eyebrow.

"If it means getting even with you, then yes."

"And if it doesn't mean getting even with me?"

"Well," Joe said, smiling widely, "Then the answer is still yes."

That answer was more than enough for you.

Strolling out together, hand-in-hand, you and Joe made your way towards the breakfast counter. In the corner of your vision, you noticed him snagging a pastry off of Mike and Mal's table when he passed by.

The end

#this took me exactly 359 days to 100% complete g__g #another very rare occurrence where a fic isn't based off a song or has the title stolen from a song #unfortunately the next fic is going to break that streak hah :3D #def leppard #joe elliott #def leppard fanfiction #joe elliott x reader #def leppard x reader #original content #rick savage #sav is a perfect mediator I'm sorry I have him in that role all the damn time orgiwroimvwr #everyone is a dumbass and sav is the keeper of dumbasses #I also spent nearly 4 hours making that moodboard i hope you're happy g_g #I just recycle the same boring joe birthday post every year bc I don't have any ideas nor do I have any resources in order to make-#-something different and/or better

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judgement-free-sideblog · 6 years ago

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Dancing lessons.

Barry Berkman x reader

Hi there! So I was watching Friends yesterday and I came across the one where Joey speaks french, and then I was thinking about how in season 2 Barry already has his Headshots, and I wanted to write something about a false ability he could have put on his resume.

So this will be an 8 part series, and I will try to update it at least twice a week but can't promise anything.

Summary: Barry is finally cast in a feature, the problem? He said he could dance and now he can either disappoint Sally or found a way to learn some steps.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating maybe.

Part 1 ● Part 2 ● Part 3 ● Part 4 ● Part 5 ● Part 6 ● Part 7 ● Part 8 ● Epilogue

Part 1

A sharpie written ad in the door said: "Joe's friend callbacks" that could give him an idea of how unimportant this character was, because so far he didn't even had a name, nevertheless he was happy that they had call him back for a reason other than "You look good on the poster"

Although he was suspicious the "minor" changes Natalie and Sally had convinced him to do to his resume was the reason, he could not blame them, at first the page was empty and depressing, and now he appear to be a very compelling person, maybe someone he would like to be. Someone who could speak french and Italian, and had formal training in at least three styles of dancing, tango, salsa and tap.

Worst case scenario, they had said, there is someone better than you first and is just another bad audition. And so far it hasn't been a problem, people usually overlook that because they didn't need that on their movies.

But now it was different, there was at least three men in front of him and four behind all of them more or less his height and complexion, waiting to re read the lines for the upcoming movie, a place to dare dreaming. As far as he understood it was a drama about a men seeking meaning in life, and Barry was trying to be the best friend's best friend, he would have five scenes in the whole movie and was merely an excuse to make exposition questions and be gone for the rest of the movie.

Not a bad place to start, Sally said, and he might actually make connections and even find an agent. So he was there for some reason dressed with black loose pants and a loose blue shirt, just like the rest of them. Finally after another half hour or so the casting assistant exited the door and call for him.

"Hi, I'm Barry Block, reading for Joe's friend" He said looking at the people behind the table and he notice another woman there dressed as a ballerina, he was not entirely sure why.

"Fine, in this scene you are just finishing dancing with your partner, then Joe" The director point at a man who was already cast as the lead best friend "Yeah, Joe will call you to ask you something and then the scene starts"

Barry did as he was told, and when he was in the middle of telling Joe to go help the lead build the boat of his dreams or something like that the director interrupted him.

"Just one sec, Barry was it?" He said and Barry was already feeling the whole you are not what we are looking for speech coming. "It says here that you dance?"

"Um hum" He muttered every second more disconcerted.

"Tango? Janice you do tango right?" He asked the ballerina.

"No Andre, I only have a career in dance but I don't do tango" She said rolling her eyes "Of course I do" she and when the director look at her in exasperation.

"Then is settled, unless any of the other guys can dance we will go with Mr. Block here"

"Excuse me what?" Barry said a little lightheaded.

"Oh this scene, we originally wanted to have a big ballet dancing sequence that inspire Daniel, the lead to follow his dreams, but we scratched off because of the budget but since you can dance you and Janice can do a small version of it." Talk with Sophie on the way out we start on monday.

"Sure, thanks" he said with a calm voice and walked out to find the cast assistant.

"Mr. Block?" She said now a little more nice than when he entered in the morning. "You'll have to sing some documents and we will be ready"

"Sure, yeah fine, one question tho, what exactly does he mean Andre with me dancing with Janice?" He asked trying to sound casual

"Oh well since they are just adding the sequence I will say that they will tell you exactly what they want in a couple weeks and then you will have to rehearse with Janice and film it by the end of the next month" She said like it was no big deal.

"Two weeks?" He asked again and she could see that he was nervous.

"More or less, but I figure since you are an actual dancer that would be fine right?" He nod not very sure of her statement and she start looking in her purse and finally give him a card. "Look I won't tell you how to do your job, but if by any chance you are not convinced of what to do, you should go here, she may help you"

***

He shut the door of the apartment with enough strength to make one of the frames in the wall shake, of course he was furious. But it wasn't your fault and you wouldn't put up with his temperament. After 5 years of marriage Alan was finally beginning to understand that it was better to walk away and let things cool down before any of you could say something too painful.

And what could you say? You told him before you get married that you didn't want children and he married you anyway. He was not able to change your mind, that was no reason to scream and fight like that. You shake the thoughts from your head and pick up you bag, ready to walk down to the studio.

Your friend Sophie had made you a call earlier asking for your help with another lost case, and usually those pay well so you could surprise Alan with a nice dinner and maybe you would let him convince you to open up at the idea, at least for long enough to live peacefully.

You could tell who your new student was the minute you entered the studio, your assistant was talking with the other couples for the romantic dance lessons and he was in a corner looking at the door like he was planning an escape.

You take the attending list and seek for his name, Barry Block, you hope is not a sing of how hard will it be to make him move, but his large frame was telling you it will.

"Mr. Block?" You called him apart once you were dress in more comfortable clothes, he walked towards you and you could see he was at least 1 feet taller than you. "You work with Sophie right?"

"I do, I ... she said you could help me amm..."

"To make your dancing believable, yes, don't worry you are not the first nor the last actor that lies on an audition, but for future reference put something more achievable like learn Russian" You said part serious part kidding "Learning tango is complicated and demanding, is not just sexy dresses and fancy music, but since this is the land of dreams I can teach you a couple things"

"That would be great, and again I'm so embarrassed that this happened, but I need the job"

"Well that's another sad part of the story this class ain't cheap, and there's only so little I can do for you in three weeks"

"That's not a problem" He said immediately and took a little envelope from his pocket and gave it to you "This is for the first two lessons"

"Excellent, then we can start" You look at his clothes, jeans and a hoodie and very uncomfortable sneakers "You may need to change, and also stretch a little, we don't want accidents" you pointed to the dressing room and let him borrow a more lose pant and proper dancing shoes.

You finishes your lesson with the other couples and after and hour he, you and Macy your assistant were the only ones there.

"Ok for starters, that's not stretching" you told him once you saw he couldn't reach his toes. "Come sit here" You told him and sit in the middle of the floor with your legs completely extended and asked him to do the same.

"I'm not very use to this, I'm in shape as much as I can but this is different" He said awkwardly trying to reach his toes the way you did yours.

"If you don't mind me asking Mr. Block, why do you need the job?" You said standing up and helping him bend his back. "I don't think they will pay you more than I'm taking from you"

"Is not about the money" he said simply and took the hand you offered him to stand. "I need to prove myself I can be an actor, a real one, also my girlfriend is recording a show and I..." he star touching his hair distracted.

"You don't want to be left behind? Yeah I know what is like" You said to him. "Well in that case I would do my best, but for real you have to stop being so rigid" you said taking him by the hips and he flinch with surprise to then let go a chuckle

"I'm sorry" He said and you nodded and put your hands on his hips again "First we are going to have to work on that posture, lower just a bit your hips and bend your knees" You said pushing him down a bit.

"Like this" he said flexing down so much that he was almost at your height.

"Not at all, I'll show you, Macy come here" You call the girl who was already hiding her laugh behind a magazine, she put on some music on his phone into the speakers and walked towards you.

You took her by the waist and started just making simple walks at the rhythm of the music, showing him how he had to bend his knees but not making it all that evident, then when the next song star going faster you started making more quick moves and shen it turn slow you drag your leg inside slowly, and embraced Macy pulling her closer to you.

"Ok, I can definently not do that" he said once you were done, and you felt flattered to se some amusement in his face.

"I know, but we will figure something out" you smile at him and turn off the music to again trying to make him bend his knees properly.

#barry berkman x reader #barry block #barry hbo #barry berkman #barry berkman edit #Bill Hader #barry fanfiction #dance #tango #angst #comedy #drama #romance #sally reed

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Ali & Tommy

Ali: [Let us assume he has gone back to school now and this was a weekend affair] Ali: You forgot your 🕯 Ali: expect it in the post, minus the disappointed note from Ro I've taken out Ali: ✈️ trips not guilt trips, welcome Tommy: leave it in, LOVE to hear what she's gotta say about why I'M the one being a holy show Ali: You aren't respecting the sanctity of her offering, is very much the point and gist Ali: she put more letters to it, as standard Tommy: 'course she did Ali: It does mean a lot to her Ali: but yeah, nice to have my 📅 to myself again, can't lie Tommy: meant so much she fucked off soon as the 🎂 candles were out Ali: You know she isn't the party 'til dawn sort Ali: anyway, they'd be coming in for morning service 😅 Tommy: I know it's her party & she can 😭 if she wants to Ali: If I'd known that was the theme, could've made party bags with 🧅 & 🧻 Ali: well, at least you were in your element 🕺 and you kept Meena and Carly entertained Ali: the hostess not being overly concerned herself, like Tommy: this family's hostess with the mostest has & always will be me, honey Tommy: what else do they teach me at this school, like? Ali: I had no idea you were at finishing school, my apologies Ali: how's things with keeping a man then, Holly Housewife? Tommy: Why stop at strutting with 📚 on our heads when we could do it in 🩰 perfectly en pointe, carrying a sulky ballerina all the while? Basically a Latin motto Tommy: & yet I still can't keep a man, cheers for the reminder Ali: Maybe now you're of age they introduce the final string to your bow Ali: quadruple threat = 🎤🕺🎭🍆 Tommy: 😂🤞🙏 Tommy: stole your girl regardless, tell her to call me when she's slept off the festivities Ali: No doubt she will when she's between the next couple of parties 😜 Ali: your girl is here actually, helping Ro 'organise' her presents Ali: dunno where she parked her 🎃 Tommy: I'll join Fraze in the red corner 😍💋💔🤬🎯👿🥤🤡🥵🛑💘 Tommy: those dolls do go walk abouts if you don't keep a 👀 but obviously she was 🤞🙏 I was still there Ali: He might misconstrue that and come to fight for her honour Ali: 🤞🙏 she's in LDN too, naturally Ali: lots of them are haunted, but that last part of your sentence there is the MOST 😱 ever Ali: it's weird when you approach anything fuck boy like Tommy: miscommunication is his thing™ no hard feels or feelings full stop, 'course 💪🚫😭🚫😍 Tommy: what can I say? being back DOES things to me Tommy: it's all the positive masculine role models this family has Ali: Guess it beats a total lack of @Joseph Ali: though he sent her some book about musical theory so he still manages to be the favourite somehow 🤷 Ali: and hey, dad is the best Tommy: v catty & then cuddly of you, Kit Tommy: he doesn't respond to MY efforts at being a daddy's girl exactly the same way somehow 🤷 Ali: we're both living up to what's expected then 😼 Ali: could just be I'm better at it than you though Ali: if your ego will allow it Tommy: can't let our sister fly that flag alone, like Tommy: as for who's better at kissing the arse of authority figures, don't need to dignify that with an answer 'cause my school report will Tommy: you ain't never been a pleasure to have in class Ali: I might genuinely have to shoot myself if anyone ever said anything so asinine about me so you're right Ali: that would be such a waste of potential, not until I've lead a more scandal-filled existence Tommy: you could respect the hustle Tommy: it's getting me 🩰 perks Tommy: disciplined is the head that wears the 👑 hoe Ali: I know all about discipline, trust me Tommy: we've all read 50 shades, you can't take it as gospel Tommy: Ro could write a better bdsm bibe when she's done at church Tommy: bible* Ali: It's all fun and games 'til I walk in on her flagellating herself Ali: how are we explaining that to the shrinks Tommy: that she misunderstood a more sexy f word? Ali: we don't want to look like we're trying to lock her up for that Ali: way too retro, bro Tommy: She wants to be catholic Tommy: I didn't make the rules Ali: No, then da really would hate you Ali: she's got worse Tommy: Yeah Tommy: I know, no amount of drama from the golden couple could detract Ali: not that I haven't heard enough about that though Ali: guess there's too much to put in a passive-aggressive note Tommy: 🙄🥱😴 Tommy: She wasn't even THAT late & tbh I wouldn't have blamed her for doing a Joe no show Ali: I would've understood if she was upset when she wasn't coming Ali: I am when Joe doesn't, whatever Ali: but I think she was actually MORE upset that she did come in the end, and not just because she was messy, but because Ro thought she wouldn't Ali: I don't get it, they're complicated, always have been but ??? Tommy: she can't hold being a good sister over her, like you can't me being the most fabulous brother in existence 🏆 Tommy: the fuck ups are more fun to bring to a 🥊 Ali: I guess that's more likely than them being all 💕💞 Ali: but fucking hell, does it hurt to hope Tommy: it's hurting you 😿 Tommy: she'll be too hangry to hope Ali: I have no hope or agenda for your 🏆 or 👑 dear brother Ali: but seriously Ali: what does she want Tommy: like you said ???? Tommy: there's every chance I'm bringing too much McKenna magic to the motives & she don't wanna bear a grudge til the end of her days Ali: because it doesn't sound like her at all Ali: if you can't be honest in the DMs where can you, eh, to quote that romcom Ali: fucked if I know what to do about it right now though Ali: maybe I need to sleep off the festivities, or get something to eat Tommy: long as you're not so hysterical you run into the path of an oncoming car, to recall another faithful role of hers Ali: have you adapted that for the stage? Ali: get 5 of you to be the 🚗 Tommy: dibs 'cause I can't do the accent Tommy: not that loads of 'em posh kids can either Ali: they'll have spent enough time gentrifying the east end to have it down, offensively so but all adds to the hysterics Tommy: I'll pitch it then 💡 Tommy: go down better than her 🎤🎵 Ali: better than her when she got hit by the car, like Ali: give me credit or I'll turn up and make a SCENE Tommy: like I wouldn't be LIVING for that Tommy: if we are being honest in the DMS Ali: I'll work on my RICKKAAAAAAAAAAAY Ali: maybe can convince Ro to be Sharon Tommy: hang around your ma in law & you'll ace it in no time Ali: Ha Ali: she'd accept Peggy, not Pat Tommy: fair, Laoise's ma's the one more likely to express herself with big earrings & animal prints Tommy: but I don't know if Sam Mitchell is a favourable role for Carls, what did she ever even do? Ali: Are you trying to tell me it's NOT a look? 🤔 Ali: or that you rate Laoise's mum? Ali: The character, nothing, the OG actress lost her nose so we're all agreed that's a no Tommy: I'd rate seeing her da on the doorstep in nothing but a bow tie for how mortified she'd be when I uploaded it Tommy: Grant's also no, he knocked Martine on her arse way before that car Tommy: but if she's Phil, you're Sharon so that's a yeah from me, like Ali: Don't, her dad always gave me those vibes Ali: and you ain't actually on the street still to have to witness that 🤮 Ali: I don't know how she'll feel about going bald, I'll float it gently before getting out the clippers Tommy: Do Rock's while you're there, he looks feral Tommy: even that nonce wouldn't have him Ali: You know his ears would get chapped Ali: hair is essential or he'll fly away on the breeze Ali: and we'd all be devastated, obvs Tommy: don't start me thinking about that scene in Dumbo, cheers very much Tommy: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ali: Such a depressing film Ali: disney gives me bad vibes Tommy: the park is creepy & you won't catch me there Tommy: whether or not Walt was a Nazi it's still a nah from me Ali: Wee bit concerning that emotional manipulation and forced fun trumps facism/literal Nazis for you but we'll 🤐 Ali: ma is in enough of a mood and she'll only direct it at me so nah Tommy: well his racism is disputed depending whether you're in camp 😇 saint him 🙏 or camp cast him into the hellfire 👿 Tommy: the forced fun & emotional manipulation is just facts Ali: 👿 advocate Tommy: I'm gonna go to hell 🤞 he's an ally Ali: 😬 Ali: it's a punishment, not a holiday Tommy: it'll be a grand hol for my pores Tommy: love a sauna sesh Ali: that London smog is not it Ali: how black is your snot? Tommy: as Ro's soul 💀 Ali: Thomas Tommy: Alison Ali: 🛑 it Tommy: she'd 🖤 to hear it but FINE Ali: you're an enabler, it is known Ali: not the kind of encouragement I'm after tah Tommy: enabling you & your lady love to have a good time, yeah 🕺💃 Tommy: & I fully expected her to turn up with a pet raven is all I'm saying Ali: the best was made of it by all, despite it all Ali: even her, in her way Tommy: despite Kayne appearing 🤵🥀 & all in her case Ali: yeah Ali: ugh Ali: he's harmless enough, bless him Tommy: she'd beg to differ right now Tommy: you're gonna wanna hide the 🍄🍄💀 til she calms down Ali: You don't need to tell me Ali: I think he's just really oblivious Ali: like all lads Ali: it wasn't you know...assaulty Tommy: It's not his fault she's team true love's kiss & he AIN'T it Tommy: who could EVER measure up to the 💭💞 Ali: standards, cool Ali: unrealistic expectations, less so Ali: but I can't really advocate for reality at this point in the game Tommy: You don't need to tell me, sis Ali: you're team turn-a-stage-kiss-real, yeah Ali: it's more realistic than fairytales, anyway, look at strictly Tommy: I'm team when's my life been a shitty made for netflix flick never mind a 🐸🤴📖 Tommy: crushing realism ftw Ali: 💔 Ali: If you didn't have a tragic love-life to complain about, you'd be too insufferable 🤴💩 Tommy: comforting Tommy: I'd HATE to morph into Fraze of a few years back Ali: I'll let you know if you start getting freckles Tommy: I'd know if I woke up with those brows Tommy: nowhere to hide, like Ali: 👺 Tommy: 😂 Ali: What are you getting ma for her bday/have you got already (suckup) Tommy: I left it there if you wanna find & shake the 🎁 Ali: Wow, you really didn't wanna pay postage that bad huh Ali: I'll see if I can 🔮 Tommy: with what? I'm skint after buying hers & Ro's Tommy: & it'll be 🎅🎄🎁 before too long Ali: that's what people really mean when they say dance don't pay Ali: gifting an interpretive dance is nothing but pretentious and unwelcome Ali: I can bodge together however many crafts I need and save my dolla Tommy: been there, tried that one Tommy: so much for your so called genius Tommy: ain't even thought of earning any by busting out the 🎅🎄🎵 classics for a busking sesh, works with 🩰 too I'll have you know Ali: 'til you knock over an old lady and have to leg it, like Ali: and if you hadn't noticed, I've been a little busy making a replica Ro, tah Ali: my creative juices are juiced right now Tommy: I'll make it look like part of the show & have the punters eating out of my palm when I catch & twirl any 👵 before they touch ground Tommy: yeah well you've got time from now, fair game on all things yule from Nov 1st Ali: 👌👌 clearly the LDN ones are more receptive because they're vicious 'round here with their 👜s and I'm only trying to give them the tea they ordered Ali: if ANYONE should advocate for Christmas not dragging, like Tommy: it's Irish dancing or fuck all back there, 365 🌧 or ⛅ Tommy: little girls scam every bit of that trade Ali: ironic when it's catch these hands in every other aspect Ali: so you'll fit right in, eh Ali: feel traumatised yet? Tommy: I'll do my best, as ever Ali: 🤴 Ali: meanwhile ma will have to make do with whatever IOU present I can knock up Ali: maybe I'll babysit, that's never not gonna work Tommy: she was on about going out 🍽 wasn't she? Tommy: Carls will never not be down either Ali: get him to make her a cake Ali: sorted Ali: providing he washes his hands...a full hose down may be necessary actually Tommy: she's survived the 🧁 he brings back from school & we've all seen the state of him at day's end Ali: yeah, cheers for the immunity boost little 🦠 Ali: fair, I'm pretty sure we put some weird and wonderful things into our bakes at his age and no one died Ali: Laoise nearly but you know Tommy: close but no 🚬 Tommy: typical of that bitch Ali: sure a 🙏 was said to finish the job at mass Tommy: if you see her ma mascara running in an lbd, I demand to be the first to know Ali: I'll pap her in her time of distress, it's fine Ali: I can hide up trees for HOURS if needs must Tommy: I'm not above piggybacking on the 'tragedy' to get better grades or a hol Tommy: do your part, like Ali: she won't fall for 🍄 again Ali: her brother might if Ro puts 'em in her gob Tommy: 💞 Ali: more of a mood than without Ali: add a little danger Tommy: she'd appreciate the drama more than anything he could ever do Ali: 💔 Tommy: nah, we're not shipping that Tommy: not today Ali: You gotta make some bad decisions before you make the right ones Tommy: a bad decision was the colour of her 👗 Tommy: the last thing that girl needs is a boy right now Ali: Okay you can't come for anyone vis a vis colour, boy Ali: even if I still see it when I close my eyes after however many weeks sewing Ali: but you may have a point re. a boy Ali: just, some socialisation wouldn't hurt Ali: and as far as they go, he's harmless Tommy: 'Course I do, she can barely exist in front of us Tommy: if they went on a date, what's she gonna do, order a glass of water? Ali: like you haven't seen her fake eat a plate of food Ali: it's only noticeable to all us that she's not actually putting any in her mouth Tommy: 🔮✨ Tommy: if he's TRULY harmless he don't deserve to be harmed by her attitude Tommy: which anyone else not bound by family love & loyalty would call something loads harsher Ali: Don't Ali: I feel bad enough for Meena sometimes Tommy: @ Carly too & we all know it Ali: Yeah, Carly can handle it though, she's mostly unphased even if it is a total thing 🙄 Tommy: She's a 👸😇 I doubt Kayne is that pure of ❤️ or intentions tbh Tommy: & Meena can handle anything so Ali: he's deffo a virgin though Ali: which yes, makes for more desperation, but he can't be that forceful if he dunno what he wants, you know Ali: yeah but God knows why she wants to come 'round here and get more of it at times Tommy: No shit, Kit but everyone's seen a porno, it's not the 70s Tommy: dress for it all you like Tommy: maybe she wants to get out of her own 🏡 Ali: everyone also knows it's bullshit Ali: whatever else she's got that much about her Tommy: does he though? Tommy: all I'm saying Ali: either way, it isn't like she's going to have a miraculous change of heart Ali: we all saw how well it went Tommy: Yeah but what if it makes her heart set on finding someone else to play 🤴 Tommy: you'd know better than me what goes on in her head Ali: She's 15, I don't see how any of us can say or do anything to stop her if that's what she does want Tommy: 15 technically Tommy: 🤷 Ali: If we can't make her eat, you know Ali: what hope do we have for anything beyond that Tommy: 0 Tommy: & it's fucked Ali: Yep Ali: but it's not as if that bombshell has only just been dropped, I guess Ali: we'll carry on doing what we can Tommy: 🔮✨ Ali: ✌💚

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mongoose232323 · 6 years ago

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#YukYkYuk #RudyIsStillInUkraine #TrumpIsSoSmart #SoCleverIgnoringSubpoenas

~ I M P E A C H E D ~

The 30 Stupidest Lines From Donald Trump's

Unhinged Letter To House Speaker Nancy Pelosi

From Article

On the eve of his impeachment by the House, President Donald Trump sent a blistering letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi -- airing his grievances with her and the broader Democratic Party while insisting that the actions taken on Wednesday will doom her to the dustbin of history.

I went through the letter -- which, from its first words, you can tell has the President's rhetorical fingerprints all over it -- and highlighted some of the most, uh, important lines. They're below.

1. "This impeachment represents an unprecedented and unconstitutional abuse of power by Democrat Lawmakers, unequaled in nearly two and a half centuries of American legislative history."

So, two things. One, impeachment is built into the Constitution and two past presidents have been impeached by the House. Two, it's "Democratic lawmakers" not "Democrat Lawmakers." And away we go!

2. "You have cheapened the importance of the very ugly word, impeachment!"

Like I said: You can clearly see Trump's involvement in the letter.

3. "By proceeding with your invalid impeachment, you are violating your oaths of office, you are breaking your allegiance to the Constitution, and you are declaring open war on American Democracy."

Wow. Lot to unpack here. Whether or not Trump likes it, the House is tasked with carrying out impeachment if a majority of members believe it is warranted. So, it's not "invalid." As for "declaring open war on American Democracy," well, Trump never pretended to be understated.

4. "You dare to invoke the Founding Fathers in pursuit of this election-nullification scheme?"

There's almost never a good time for the "how dare you?" construction.

5. "Even worse than offending the Founding Fathers, you are offending Americans of faith by continually saying you pray for the President when you know this statement is not true, unless it is meant in a negative sense."

WHOA BOY. So, Trump knows Pelosi doesn't actually pray for him? How? Did he someone eavesdrop on her prayers? Also, what is the "negative sense" of praying? I spent more time than I'd like to admit thinking about this and decided that Trump is suggesting that if Pelosi prays for him, it's for his demise. I think.

6. "It is a terrible thing you are doing, but you will have to live with it, not I!"

Nothing is ever Trump's fault. Ever.

7. "Fortunately, there was a transcript of the conversation taken, and you know from the transcript (which was immediately made available) that the paragraph in question was perfect."

What would a perfect paragraph look like? Do we even know? Anywho, here are 4 facts from that July 25 phone call between Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky: a) Trump tells Zelensky that the US does a lot for Ukraine b)Trump reminds Zelensky that Ukraine doesn't reciprocate c) Trump asks Zelensky for a favor: to look into a debunked conspiracy theory that the hacked Democratic National Committee server is in Ukraine and d) Trump asks Zelensky to look into Joe and Hunter Biden. To my mind, the White House transcript of that call reads more like a smoking gun than an exoneration.

8. "I said to President Zelensky: would like you to do us a favor, though, because our country has been through a lot and Ukraine knows a lot about it? I said do us a favor, not me and our country, not a campaign."

Trump didn't start making this "me" versus "us" argument until the past few weeks. But even putting that aside, the two things he asks of Zelensky (whereabouts of DNC server and investigation into the Biden) were not mentioned at all in Trump's notes for the call, which were supposed to focus, generally speaking, on the country's corruption problems.

9. "You are turning a policy disagreement between two branches of government into an impeachable offense."

At issue is not the separation of powers or even really a disagreement. The issue is whether a president can ask a foreign country to investigate one of his potential political rivals. And, even if he can do it, should he?

10. "You know full well that Vice President Biden used his office and $1 billion dollars of US aid money to coerce Ukraine into firing the prosecutor who was digging into the company paying his son millions of dollars."

Reminder: Biden called for the firing of Ukraine's top prosecutor as part of an international coalition designed to address corruption in the country. There is no evidence of any wrongdoing in Ukraine by Joe or his son Hunter Biden.

11. "Now you are trying to impeach me by falsely accusing me of doing what Joe Biden has admitted he actually did."

Apples and oranges here. Again, Biden called for the firing of the prosecutor as part of a coordinated -- and transparent -- strategy to address corruption in Ukraine. Trump got on the phone with the Ukrainian president and, contrary to the notes prepared for him in advance of the meeting, freelanced to ask him to investigate one of his main rivals for the GOP nomination.

12. "President Zelensky has repeatedly declared that I did nothing wrong, and that there was 'No Pressure.'"

Zelensky is no dummy! He knows he needs future aid from the US in order to fight the Russians at his borders. Given that, why would he piss Trump off by saying he felt pressure? Also, not for nothing: Why is "No Pressure" capitalized?

13. "Ambassador Sondland testified that I told him: 'No quid pro quo. I want nothing. I want nothing. I want President Zelensky to do the right thing, do what he ran on.'"

Yes, Trump did tell US Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland that. After the White House had been made aware that Congress was looking into the withholding of military aid. So....

14. "Your chosen candidate lost the election in 2016, in an Electoral College landslide (306-227), and you and your party have never recovered from this defeat."

The 2016 election ended 1,134 days ago.

15. "You have developed a full-fledged case of what many in the media call Trump Derangement Syndrome and sadly, you will never get over it!"

An incurable case of TDS??? Call the CDC, STAT.

16. "You view democracy as your enemy!"

Just a reminder here: This is the President of the United States, on official White House stationery, telling the Speaker of the House that she believes democracy is the "enemy." Very normal! Nothing to see here!

17. "As you know very well, this impeachment drive has nothing to do with Ukraine, or the totally appropriate conversation I had with its new president."

Wait. Is this the "perfect" conversation? Or are we referring to another "totally appropriate" conversation here? Either way, Trump did nothing wrong! Ever!

18. "Congressman Adam Schiff cheated and lied all the way up to the present day, even going so far as to fraudulently make up, out of thin air, my conversation with President Zelensky of Ukraine and read this fantasy language to Congress as though it were said by me."

This claim, which Trump repeats constantly, makes me insane. Because it's just wrong. Here's what Schiff said before paraphrasing what was in the July 25 phone call: "In not so many words, this is the essence of what the President communicates." He literally makes clear that he is paraphrasing Trump, not directly quoting him. Why is this a thing???

19. "You conducted a fake investigation upon the democratically elected President of the United States, and you are doing it yet again."

To be clear: Pelosi had zero to do with the special counsel investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election. That was the Justice Department under Trump. Also, that investigation wasn't "fake" -- it led to a number of arrests and prison sentences, not to mention documenting the deep and broad efforts of the Russian government to meddle in the 2016 election to help Trump and hurt Hillary Clinton.

20. "And by the way, when I speak to foreign countries, there are many people, with permission, listening to the call on both sides of the conversation."

Again, Trump misses the point here. The issue is not that other people were listening. The issue is what he told Zelensky -- even with people listening! If he talks like that when he knows people are on the line, how does he talk on the sidelines of summits and the like when there are far less staff nearby?

21. "You are the ones interfering in America's elections. You are the ones subverting America's Democracy."

I am rubber and you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

22. "If you truly cared about freedom and liberty for our Nation, then you would be devoting your vast investigative resources to exposing the full truth concerning the horrifying abuses of power before, during, and after the 2016 election -- including the use of spies against my campaign."

There has never been a shred of evidence that spies were used against Trump's campaign. In fact, in the report released by Justice Department Inspector General Michael Horowitz earlier this month, it's made quite clear there is zero evidence of spies being sicced on the Trump campaign.

23. "Any member of Congress who votes in support of impeachment against every shred of truth, fact, evidence, and legal principle, is showing how deeply they revile the voters and how truly they detest America's Constitutional order."

"Detest America's Constitutional order"? Really?

24. "In other words, once the phone call was made public, your whole plot blew up, but that didn't stop you from continuing."

As I wrote at the time, the transcript of the July 25 phone call is pretty damn close to a smoking gun against Trump.

25. "More due process was afforded to those accused in the Salem Witch Trials."

Uh, paging John Proctor...

26. "This is nothing more than an illegal, partisan attempted coup that will, based on recent sentiment, badly fail at the voting booth."

Definitely not illegal! Or a coup!

27. "Your legacy will be that of turning the House of Representatives from a revered legislative body into a Star Chamber of partisan persecution."

Not to be a contrarian here, but pretty sure that no matter what happens with impeachment, Pelosi's legacy will be as the first female Speaker of the House.

28. "You apparently have so little respect for the American People that you expect them to believe that you are approaching this impeachment somberly, reservedly, and reluctantly. No intelligent person believes what you are saying."

Really? And how did Trump learn to glean people's "real" motives? Is that some sort device you can buy on Amazon? If so, send me a link!

29. "I write this letter to you for the purpose of history and to put my thoughts on a permanent and indelible record."

"This will go down on your permanent record." -- The Violent Femmes

30. "One hundred years from now, when people look back at this affair, I want them to understand it, and learn from it, so that it can never happen to another President again."

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/12/17/politics/trump-letter-nancy-pelosi-impeachment/index.html

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dayalloused · 3 years ago

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Are we done?" He asked, staring at Techno.

Techno surveyed him up and down before humming, "For now. I'll meet you outside Phil?" before walking out into the hall, leaving Phil and Tubbo to stare, at each other. Tommy had moved to hide beside Phil's slouching all of his weight onto the elder man. Tubbo looked back to the chair.

That Tommy hadn't moved either.

"Mate," Phil said, stepping closer to Tubbo (Tommy collapsed to the floor, just like he had in that damned alley) "Are you and Ranboo dealing with everything okay? Have you both slept? You know you can tell me anything right? Nothing that happened the past two days is your fault. I'm here if you need to talk about it."

(One of the Tommy's laughed, "He's lying," it slurred.) Ranboo floated through the floorboards, "I don't need sleep Mr Watson." He explained.

Tubbo rolled his eyes, "I mean, it doesn't mean you're immune to sleep. You've passed out many times-"

"It sounds like you guys didn't get sleep. Don't try lie by the way, I can see how pale you are mate." Phil looked over to Ranboo who was white, "Paler than usual. You're usually blue."

"I did sleep."

"Full eight hours?"

"Until you woke me up."

"I'm just curious, was that eight hours."

"Does it matter if it wasn't? I can't exactly fall asleep now."

Phil laughed, "It's never too late or early to sleep. Get some rest. You look like you need it."

Tubbo smiled, "Yeah, I think I might sleep until Schlatt comes back."

With his concern sated, Phil left the house. As he was about to get in the car, Tubbo called out, "We can still come round yours on Saturday next week right?" Phil nodded in affirmation before he got in the police car. It had pulled out the driveway as he blinked, vanishing down the road before he could shut the door.

Ranboo looked at Tubbo, his eyebrows furrowed, "You didn't mean you'd sleep for eternity? Because I can't raise the dead. And neither can you. That's well beyond any of our abilities."

Tubbo forced a small smile, "I needed something to get Phil off that grave in our garden. Plus, they did wake me up. I'm going to nap if you want to join? I'm tired."

"Sure, but only if you put on another crappy movie. I need something to do while you sleep."

And that's how they found themselves wrapped in the only remaining blanket, leaning onto each other, a pillow propped against the wall, on a shit mattress watching descendants two. Something had happened, Tubbo wasn't really sure, the sound keeping him from sleeping. He pulled out the earphone and rested his head on Ranboo's shoulder. He yawned before closing his eyes and shuffling even closer, afraid that he might wake up and Ranboo's corpse would be laying on him again.

The last thing he saw was Tommy's blotted out silhouette getting closer before everything went dark.

I DID NOT RECOGNISE THIS EXTRACT AT FIRST joihewfhewoi (it's heaven holds lonely with me chapter 11)

sorry to break all your wishes but I do not know what is happening here or in my head at the time!

Pretty sure hallucination Tommy takes after hallucination Joe though. He just pops up.

#IM SO SORRY THIS PART COMPLETELY LEFT ME #thank you for the ask :d #rovin ranbutler <3

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xtruss · 4 years ago

Text

Interview with Mary Trump

"Donald Is a Fascist and the Republicans Are Trying To Destroy Our Democracy"

In an interview, Mary Trump, the only niece of the former American president, talks about an uncle she describes as dangerous, his enduring power and the growing hate in America.

— Interview Conducted By Marc Pitzke | 08.25.2021

— SPIEGEL International

Mary Trump: "He's literally the weakest person I've ever known." Foto: Sara Naomi Lewkowicz / DER SPIEGEL; Michael Reynolds / Zuma Press / action press

Mary Trump, Donald Trump's only niece, has just finished a talk show appearance by video chat from her kitchen. She's sitting in the library of her apartment building, trying to relax. The ceiling-high shelves behind her are filled with carefully curated coffee table books. Through the wall of windows, one can see Manhattan's thick traffic below.

Trump, however, seems irritated. "This was the first time I've been treated badly in an interview," she says.

She had just appeared on "The View," a popular morning chat show, where they discussed politics, the pandemic and racism. Yet one co-host checked out of the conversation without even greeting her: Meghan McCain, daughter of the late senator John McCain, who had been reviled and insulted by Donald Trump even as he went to his grave.

The younger McCain is famous – infamous – for her own conservative tirades. After the show with Mary Trump, she tweeted: "There is no 'good' Trump family member to me."

And there it is, Mary Trump's burden: her last name.

She will be forever linked to her uncle, his lies, is hubris, his incompetence, his autocratic tendencies – and the damaging fallout from his one term as president.

Last year, the psychologist published her memoirs: "Too Much and Never Enough." The book revealed the horrific family history of the Trumps – and made her a target of Trump fanatics, who still worship the former president. For months, she hardly left the house – because of COVID-19, but also out of fear of being recognized and vilified.

Now Trump, 56, has written a second book, "The Reckoning: America's Trauma and Finding a Way To Heal." It addresses the darkest period of U.S. history, with the nation's enduring racism, and, of course, her uncle.

DER SPIEGEL: Ms. Trump, last summer you called your uncle the world's most dangerous man. Now that he's out of office, do you still feel that way?

Trump: After the election, I was happy for about a minute. I was very relieved, of course, but the number of people who voted for him was just heartbreaking. Seventy-four million! Yes, Joe Biden won. But the Democrats in general didn't win enough. We needed a total repudiation of Donald and his party, and we didn't get one.

DER SPIEGEL: So, you think he still presents a danger?

Trump: We're not out of the woods. It became clear right after the election that he was going to do everything in his power to undermine the legitimacy of the results and that the Republicans were just going to let him do it. For him, losing is not acceptable and winning doesn't mean legitimately winning, it just means getting the win. He knows he didn't win, but I don't believe he knows he lost, either.

DER SPIEGEL: How so?

Trump: He's been trying for two years to steal this election. I don't believe he can wrap his head around the fact that everything he did, all the stops he pulled out, all the stops the Republican Party pulled out for him, haven't worked. So, he's still trying to steal this election.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you see Jan. 6, when a mob of his supporters stormed the Capitol Building, as such an attempt?

Trump: He is very good at finding people weaker than he is, which is shocking because he's literally the weakest person I've ever known. But they're out there obviously, in large numbers. Then, there are people who are much smarter and powerful than he is, who know how to use him. So, it's a very dangerous combination. Were there people around him who knew that it could very possibly lead to that moment? Absolutely. Was he completely willing and comfortable to take advantage of the situation and make it worse for his benefit? Absolutely.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you think he welcomed what he saw on Jan. 6?

Trump: Oh, my gosh, yeah. It was probably one of the best days of his life. The worse it got, the happier he was. It wasn't an accident when he told the mob that if he wasn't granted the victory, it was Mike Pence's fault. So, should we be surprised that people were running around with nooses wanting to string Mike Pence up? It would have been perfectly fine with him. Absolutely. The only thing he probably regrets about that is that there wasn't more violence.

DER SPIEGEL: What went through your mind that day?

Trump: I hadn't listened to his speech beforehand, because I've tried whenever possible not to listen to him or look at him, because I don't care what he has to say. At first, like everybody else, I found it really hard to know what precisely was going on. It just looked like a mess. The first word that came to mind was tawdry. But then it became obvious to me that it was much worse than that. This is our Capitol! This is the center of – well, I don't like to say American democracy, because I don't think America has ever completely been a democracy like we aspire to be.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you think he will run again in 2024?

Trump: I don't know. But because he's being enabled, he sees an opening. He feels the power. He also knows that the only way he stays out of legal trouble is to get back into power.

DER SPIEGEL: Does it weigh on you to be so personally connected to his world? In your new book you reveal that in 2017, a few months after your uncle's inauguration, you went into inpatient treatment for post traumatic stress disorder. What happened?

Trump: I just remember feeling so out of control. I remember spinning out and didn't know how to stop. I lived in a very Republican town then, so I was really isolated. For the first time in my life, I lost friends because of an election, and I knew I needed to do something. But despite the fact that I'm a psychologist, I didn't know there were treatment programs for that. I knew there were for addictions, but I didn't know there was such a thing for post-traumatic stress.

DER SPIEGEL: Your uncle traumatized half the nation.

Trump: Every once in a while, I think about how this country will be forever stained by what he did. That's really hard. We never recover from that. Maybe in 200 years, but not while I'm alive.

DER SPIEGEL: Don't you think his spell is broken? Joe Biden's policies are pretty popular, and Trump's "Big Lie" hasn't amounted to anything.

Trump: The Democrats don't understand the seriousness of the threat. They are playing by rules in a rulebook that the Republicans lit on fire. There are no rules anymore. They need to start fighting like their lives depend on it. But they're just not willing to do that. There is an unwillingness – also in the U.S. media – to use the kind of language that is accurate and necessary to get people to understand the seriousness of the threat.

DER SPIEGEL: How serious is it?

Trump: Donald is a fascist, and the Republicans are an autocratic, anti-democratic, counter-majoritarian party that would be perfectly happy to establish some kind of apartheid in this country. They are actively trying to destroy our democracy. If they win back the House in 2022, it would be fatal to the American experiment. I wouldn't be surprised if they make Donald, two years before the presidential election, speaker of the house. And then there will never be another Democrat allowed to win an election.

DER SPIEGEL: Do you really believe that?

"The Democrats don't understand the seriousness of the threat. They are playing by rules in a rulebook that the Republicans lit on fire. There are no rules anymore."

Trump: We see it happening already. Last year, there were 155 million presidential votes cast in this country. There have been maybe 36 cases of voter fraud, which is a vanishingly small number. And yet, we've got hundreds of voter suppression laws in place or being pushed by the Republicans. If the Democrats lose the House and/or the Senate in the 2022 midterms, it's over. It is over.

DER SPIEGEL: You don't think the U.S. democracy is resilient?

Trump: The way this country is structured is inherently anti-democratic.

DER SPIEGEL: What do you mean?

Trump: The U.S. Constitution is not a democratic document. For example, we currently have a 50-50 split in the Senate, but the 50 Republican senators represent 40 million less people than the 50 Democratic senators – because the constitution gives every state two senate seats, no matter how populous.

Trump supporters in Washington, D.C. on Jan. 6: "It was probably one of the best days of his life. The worse it got, the happier he was." Foto: Shay Horse / NurPhoto / Getty Images

DER SPIEGEL: In your new book, you write: "The ugly history of our country is filled with sordid, barbaric and inhuman acts committed by average citizens which were encouraged or at least condoned by the highest levels of government. To deny this history means to deny our national trauma." That's a devastating judgement – how did you come to that conclusion?

Trump: If there's one thing Americans are very good at, it's perpetuating myths about ourselves.

DER SPIEGEL: For instance?

Trump: One of the most astonishing things this country got away with was portraying itself as a beacon of democracy during World War II, while at the same time an entire population of people was being held in what was essentially a closed, fascist state in the South. Black Americans who served their country came home only to be lynched because they had the audacity to wear the uniform. Part of that is also that people think that the North were the good guys. But a large percentage of Northerners were really racist, too, and perfectly happy to have Blacks freed, but did not want them to have any political power, so they decided that it was more expedient to make common cause with the former Confederates than with the freed men and women.

DER SPIEGEL: Isn't the way of looking at U.S. history changing rapidly?

Trump: The right is doing everything to make sure that Americans continue to stay ignorant about their own history. Imagine if post-World War II Germany hadn't taken the steps that it has taken.

DER SPIEGEL: Not all Germans back then were too excited about that, either.

Trump: That's a good point. It requires the political will. We let people off the hook for flying the Confederate flag because they claim it's just about their Southern history. But they know what it means. It means that they are completely on board with white people owning black people.

DER SPIEGEL: Is the U.S. still a racist country?

Trump: If you're a white adult American, it's almost impossible not to be racist because of the media environment we grow up in, our families or our friends' families, the influences of our education. But when you become an adult, you need to take responsibility for that stuff. If we don't acknowledge it, then it's never going to change. But it's very hard to acknowledge that.

DER SPIEGEL: How much do you blame your uncle for that?

Trump: I blame him for the fact that it's becoming more and more acceptable to be openly racist. What Donald did was prove that racism is a successful platform when you run for office in this country. People like him are out there very openly being racist and white supremacist, and they're getting tens of millions of people to vote for them because either they agree with them or they don't have a problem with it because lower taxes are more important. We're in a really dangerous place.

"The Republicans are an autocratic, anti-democratic, counter-majoritarian party that would be perfectly happy to establish some kind of apartheid in this country."

DER SPIEGEL: Do you also blame him for the disastrous COVID-19 situation here last year?

Trump: That's been one of the worst things for me to deal with. Knowing that your uncle is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people is not a good feeling. That many died in exactly the same circumstances my father did, alone, because my uncle, who could have gone to the hospital to be with my dad, rather went to the movies. So, that's been really, really hard. Because of his incompetence and his cruelty we're still struggling with this. Because of his encouragement of the unvaccinated and his failure to model decent behavior, which he is incapable of doing. It's just a kick in the teeth.

DER SPIEGEL: Wasn't he one of the first to get vaccinated?

Trump: Secretly! Everybody in the family got vaccinated. They're all vaccinated. Imagine how people are going to react when they find out that they've all been betrayed and the people they put their faith in lied to them for political expediency.

DER SPIEGEL: Psychologically, how do you get people to admit they've lived a lie for so long?

Trump: It's hard. I don't hold out hope for most of these people. I really don't.

DER SPIEGEL: That sounds rather pessimistic.

Trump: I am bizarrely a quite optimistic person. Maybe that took a hit over the last couple of years. But I am pretty much an optimist. I haven't given up hope.

DER SPIEGEL: Yet the next Trump generation seems ready. Do you expect your cousin, Donald Jr., or your cousin Ivanka, to run for political office?

Trump: No.

DER SPIEGEL: Why not?

Trump: My uncle is such a buffoon, but he does have charisma. If you met him, for the first 10 seconds you would see it. After that, you would realize that he's a total psychopath, but a lot of people are very susceptible to his kind of charisma. Donald Jr. and Ivanka don't have any of that. They don't survive politically without him. They don't survive in business without him. No, I don't see that. Hopefully, they'll all end up in jail.

DER SPIEGEL: What's next for you?

Trump: My next book will not be about my uncle. I'm taking a break. Never write a book about trauma while you're still being actively traumatized.

DER SPIEGEL: Ms. Trump, we thank you for this interview.

— Mary Trump's latest book, "The Reckoning: Our Nation's Trauma and Finding a Way To Heal," was published in August by St. Martin's Press. The book has also been published in German translation by Heyne Verlag.

— Mary Trump, 56, holds a doctorate in psychology and has known the former president since childhood. Her father Fred Trump, Jr., Donald Trump's older brother, died in 1981. Her first book, "Too Much and Never Enough," about her uncle became a bestseller in the United States in 2020.

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normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke · 4 years ago

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And moreover, they'll try to "fix" their comment so that it doesn't fit anyone who could possibly be online, in doing so proving that they have no idea how disabled people work.

I say all this because I clicked on a video from a horror Youtuber I watch (I won't mention who because this wasn't his fault, he handled the case very well) and scrolled into the comments. Big mistake. In this particular video there was a story about a Japanese serial killer who murdered an entire building's worth of disabled people in their sleep. Truly awful stuff. And people were defending the guy.

People were defending the guy.

Not outright saying he was right, but saying things like "this is so wrong because some of those people probably weren't that disabled". Or "I could see it if they couldn't wipe their own butts". Or my personal favorite (/s) "everyone should sign a document saying that their family is allowed to kill them if they become bedbound".

And people get away with this stuff. Because no one checks them. Some people even agree with them. And more importantly, there's no social expectation that we be seen as humans. We're not people sitting on the other side of a screen with tears streaming down our faces as we read posts from your average Joe who wants us dead. We're a punchline, an inspiration, a vessel for all of your rage at people who "leech" off of you. We're a topic, a hypothetical to be thrown around. But never people.

And this dehumanizing only gets worse the "worse" your disability is. No one thinks a person who can't use the bathroom on their own could have a social media. No one thinks an intellectually disabled person might understand what they're saying and be upset. No one thinks a bedbound person has as computer.

When ableds are actually faced with our existence, they panic. They stumble to be the most polite and up to date in the room. They make up person-first language and "handicapable" and other things to hide the fact that they're either silent about or complicit in conversations about eugenics.

Tl;dr

Ableds, stop talking about us like we're not here, and stop letting others do the same. No matter how disabled someone is, there is always a chance they'll see or hear what you're saying about them.

Being disabled is crazy because people are so convinced disabled people couldn't possibly use the internet that they'll say the most ableist eugenicist bullshit and expect you to agree with them.

#I'm trying to find a moral here but I'm just disgusted #it's been a long time since I've felt this low #I can't stop thinking about it #ableism tw #murder tw #true crime tw #serial killer tw #eugenics tw

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Joe & Ronnie

Joe: what are you actually doing Ronnie: having an orgy Ronnie: ain't you gutted you didn't stay Joe: was before Joe: however appealing or un that is Ronnie: cry to some other cunt Ronnie: I told you not to go Joe: I ain't interested in no other cunt, that's what I just said Joe: I had to, didn't I Ronnie: don't be a pussy Ronnie: you ain't gotta be a mummy's boy all your life Joe: it's christmas Joe: that's what has to be done Ronnie: and what? family's for life Ronnie: tell that to your ma Joe: you should've come Joe: it's a mess, you'd have had fun Ronnie: I don't do babies Ronnie: and I weren't invited Joe: me either Joe: and you are Joe: come now Ronnie: whoever the fuck your ma wants me to be ain't who I am Ronnie: try telling her the truth and see if I'm still given a seat Joe: you don't need to be anyone for her Ronnie: swallow your own bullshit sayings first Joe: alright so it's stupid Joe: but I need you here Ronnie: you can't have me there Joe: for fuck sake Ronnie: you want me or you wanna be her golden boy Joe: you know exactly which I want Ronnie: you think you know but one look at my tracks and fun's over baby Joe: I can have you and drugs Joe: that ain't mutually exclusive Joe: never has been Ronnie: you can't have fuck all around your family Ronnie: a uni degree and a 9-5 is your lot babe Joe: they'd not even notice Joe: baby central, yeah Ronnie: they'd notice me Joe: we could find out Ronnie: don't Joe: alright Joe: fine Ronnie: it's not all about you Ronnie: selfish prick Joe: I know you don't wanna be here Ronnie: then don't fucking ask me Joe: I know what I am Ronnie: you know who I am Ronnie: you're wasting your own time Joe: yeah Joe: and you know I don't care Ronnie: that's why you're there pissing away the day, yeah? Joe: what do you suggest? Joe: taken every pharmaceutical I could get into the country Ronnie: leave the country Ronnie: grow a fucking pair mckenna Joe: on xmas day yeah Joe: called a fantasy play the game Ronnie: you want me to show up Ronnie: why the fuck can't you? Joe: selfish prick Ronnie: I don't pretend to be anything else Joe: no, me Ronnie: it comes out of your mouth so easy for me Ronnie: just tell 'em Joe: tell 'em what Joe: I don't wanna see you no more Joe: bye Ronnie: any of the ugly truth will make her not wanna see you no more Ronnie: it don't take much Ronnie: pushed me out of her and right away, like Joe: that wasn't about you, was it Joe: selfish runs in the genes Ronnie: not deep enough when it comes to you Ronnie: you're fucking soft mckenna Ronnie: that your da's fault, yeah? Joe: yeah, you should be the favourite, we both know it but ain't gonna wish it on you Ronnie: nah she should've swallowed or got scraped Ronnie: did the next best though Joe: you want me to say lucky you so you can hate me for being privileged and ignorant Joe: I'll do it for you Ronnie: such a people pleaser Joe: you know it Ronnie: call me when you're ready to shatter your wine glass and put the pieces in your mouth Joe: you dare me? Ronnie: I'm not playing games here Joe: come on Joe: get your paper hat on Ronnie: you want me to get on some old bloke's knee too or is that where the fantasy ends? Joe: not got any grandparents Joe: sorry Ronnie: shame Joe: isn't it just Ronnie: but we don't have to let it die 'cause you're a letdown Ronnie: I know loads of old men Ronnie: some of 'em have gotta still be alive Joe: 🤞 the holiday blues haven't claimed them Ronnie: yeah 'cause you wanna be special Joe: but I am Joe: if I cared about it I'd say no old cunts Ronnie: I'll lick your brains off the wall when you pull the trigger baby, how's that? Joe: Better than Courtney, babe Ronnie: the bar ain't high then Joe: she might've pulled the trigger Joe: don't you want that? Ronnie: you know what I want Joe: you know what I can't give you today Ronnie: yeah and I know that's your fucking fault Joe: didn't ask for jesus to be born Joe: or for me to into this family Ronnie: stop having a tantrum and come back Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: today Joe: didn't drive Joe: what flight am i getting on christmas Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: I can't hack it Ronnie: drop a baby they'll kick you out faster than you can say merry christmas Ronnie: especially if it's one of your brother's Ronnie: gonna have limited brain cells as it is Joe: 😂 Joe: that would require picking one up and nah Joe: nope Ronnie: you've touched worse Joe: I don't know Joe: it's weird Joe: fucked Ronnie: they're just little bags of meat and bone Ronnie: get a fucking grip Joe: says you Joe: you ain't here Ronnie: for me it ain't about nothing but resisting the urge to shake 'em and how I don't reckon I've got that in me Ronnie: one of many negative impulses I fight or don't on the daily like Joe: like you said, be a kindness really Joe: they're all just pretending it's a good thing when it clearly ain't Joe: not got the energy Ronnie: jail ain't gonna be that for me Ronnie: and like I also said you ain't the only selfish prick that bitch spawned Ronnie: they don't know a good thing they ain't tried it Ronnie: shoot 'em up it'll be a decent christmas for everyone Joe: you've not got room for the gang tats Joe: I get it Joe: oddly enough I've not got 💉 on my prescription Ronnie: baby I'm nobody's bitch but 💉 Ronnie: and we're exclusive 💍 Joe: you wish Joe: making do every other time Ronnie: don't fucking remind me Joe: miss those student loans Ronnie: I'm gonna miss being a christmas temp Joe: not just for the lap sitting priviledges Joe: yeah Ronnie: knew you were into it Joe: just miss you Ronnie: don't say shit like that Joe: whatever Ronnie: I mean it, it hurts Joe: I'm sorry Joe: if I could go back and not find you Joe: I know I should Joe: I wouldn't but established Ronnie: fuck you Joe: yeah Joe: I know Ronnie: nah you fucking don't Joe: you reckon Ronnie: I said it Ronnie: you're the cunt saying shit you don't mean Joe: no I'm not Joe: just 'cos you don't need to hear it don't mean it ain't real Joe: it is, that's the issue yeah Ronnie: tell it to your ma Ronnie: well full of it Joe: why would I Joe: not trying to convince you of anything here Joe: it is what it is Joe: however fucked Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: yeah love you and all Ronnie: if you did you wouldn't have left Joe: ever Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna none of you lot are Joe: who's trying to be funny Joe: what do you want from me Ronnie: you're a fucking joke either way babe Joe: make up your mind Joe: glad I amuse you now, apparently Joe: one of us should be having a good time Ronnie: laugh or cry, yeah? Joe: goes something like that Joe: could go full newborn and do a puke shit cry combo Joe: why not Ronnie: if you're rattling hard enough, anything's possible Joe: getting by Joe: making do is never the same as previously lamented but not gonna start convulsing in my plate Ronnie: shame Joe: 💘 Joe: dunno how you reckon on me ruining christmas Joe: sister just became a teen mum Ronnie: it's an od or a run out take your pick baby Ronnie: both have worked for me Ronnie: you say that like its not a badge of honor who wouldnt wanna follow in your ma's footsteps, like Ronnie: if she starts dealing too give her my number Joe: ha, I forgot to tell you Joe: there's one here already Ronnie: if you wanted me there you should have led with that Joe: I know right Joe: no one tells me anything Joe: you'd like him Joe: purely 'cos she hates him Ronnie: you don't tell me anything Ronnie: too late to ruin christmas now Joe: I know you'd be here if you wanted that more than you don't wanna be here Joe: but don't worry, atmosphere is awkward enough regardless Ronnie: could still show up for your brother's big birthday Ronnie: freckles is a no go but he's old enough now to be on the table Ronnie: work my way through by new years, yeah? Joe: hilarious, babe Ronnie: not joking babe Ronnie: fucking the dealer won't make enough of a splash Joe: you do know they know you're related, yeah Joe: even if he weren't gay Ronnie: didn't stop you Ronnie: and being a massive homo ain't ever stopped Charlie Joe: we all do trauma different don't we Ronnie: if you want some therapy for christmas we can roleplay that shit Joe: why would i settle for that when i've got drugs and you Ronnie: saying that ain't gonna make me not hate you Joe: good Joe: hate me Joe: don't be an idiot like everyone else Ronnie: baby brain ain't gonna be a thing over here Ronnie: 💔 Joe: my deepest sympathies Joe: can't say I'm sharing in your 💔 though Ronnie: when have I ever used an emoji meaningfully Ronnie: not a fucking kid Joe: damn Joe: I really thought you meant those 😍 Joe: 💔 Ronnie: fuck off Joe: 😂 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: count how many glasses you've had Joe: is that an OCD joke Joe: you're on 🔥 today girl Ronnie: you wish no lighters at the table baby Joe: Charlie really sticking to those rules hard Joe: how are you gonna light the pudding? Ronnie: afters ain't like that round here Ronnie: 💉💊🚬 Joe: it's minging Ronnie: you love it then, all the pain, like Joe: don't reckon we've actually got one either Joe: how passive-aggressive of them Ronnie: ma keeps bringing the disappointments, yeah? Ronnie: reckon your brother's golden boy now he's sprogged up Joe: I wish Joe: marginally less of a disgrace than Ali Joe: but still Ronnie: your sister is gifting those flashbacks for christmas Joe: Truly Joe: poor kid Ronnie: she should've picked a white lad Ronnie: calm your ma right down Joe: maybe next time Joe: 2nd time's a charm, eh Ronnie: yeah Joe: have you ever been knocked up Ronnie: could probably have got a freebie down the clinic how often I've been down to get rid Ronnie: none of 'em were yours though you can relax Joe: god bless the nhs Ronnie: you ever knocked anyone up? Joe: not to abortion stage Joe: just had to get plan b Joe: as far as I know, anyway Ronnie: cute Joe: thanks 💕 Joe: ours wouldn't be so thank fuck Ronnie: that kinda shit passes for a date for us scousers 💋 Ronnie: you don't want a kid with gills or two heads? Joe: hot Joe: least you could see what was up with it Joe: but 👶💀 Ronnie: can't and won't happen Ronnie: you'd have to fuck your fertile sister Joe: we can pretend that's why I like you Ronnie: you like me 'cause I'll always find a vein for you Ronnie: what else is there Joe: what ain't there Ronnie: 👶🍼 Joe: exactly Joe: one of the main things I look for Ronnie: are you on one knee right now or what? Joe: get you a rock worth having Joe: how's that for a proposal Ronnie: I don't trust it but I'll take it Joe: why not Joe: got that christmas cash Joe: not gonna waste it Ronnie: why would you wanna share with me, selfish prick from your own mouth, like Joe: 'cos getting high together is better Joe: deny it Ronnie: you know I can't Joe: gonna be a white christmas Joe: no need to trust just see Ronnie: when Joe: tomorrow Ronnie: don't fucking lie Joe: I ain't Ronnie: swear Ronnie: swear they ain't gonna guilt you into staying Joe: swear Joe: they ain't gonna even try Ronnie: make sure they let you on that flight Joe: 'course Joe: I'm totally legally medicated rn Ronnie: you're also a pussy Ronnie: bet all the younger siblings have drunk you under the table Joe: you're not wrong that lots of them pride themselves in their light alcoholism Ronnie: whatever gets 'em through the day, yeah? Joe: can't judge really Joe: not with a 💉 sticking out my arm Ronnie: that's tomorrow Ronnie: today anything goes baby Joe: I'll be the one to dish out the home truths Joe: that'd be unexpected Ronnie: someone's gotta your ma will be too busy trying to chuck the babies out Joe: playing hostess with the mostest 'cos can't keep playing the boy when she's got two kids here knocked up Joe: his ma is well smug 😂 Joe: *blaming Ronnie: one of us is having fun then Joe: take the small victories, ms cavante Ronnie: if she's not gonna kick your ma in the tits it'll have to do Joe: wish on a 🌠 baby Ronnie: I've got bad luck or no luck baby Ronnie: that shit don't work Joe: you won't care come tomorrow Ronnie: I don't care now Joe: see? Joe: lucky Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: seriously Joe: my head is Ronnie: I know Ronnie: mine screams too but I go louder Joe: I can't do anything in here Joe: need to go outside and none of those other bastards better take their 🚬 break 'til I'm done Ronnie: if you didn't give so much of a fuck you could do anything Ronnie: that's why I can't show up to your family christmas, you ain't ready mckenna Joe: just shut up alright Joe: let me fucking think Ronnie: you ain't keith richards how many more years of me do you need to stop having such a limp dick Ronnie: every junkie is on borrowed time Joe: you really thought you were gonna fix me Joe: come on now Joe: you're better than that Ronnie: I'm not better than anything Ronnie: lowest of the low baby Joe: then what Ronnie: you want answers from me? you're better than that Joe: no Joe: what the fuck are you doing Joe: you're the one wasting your borrowed time Ronnie: what, you're the only cunt who gets to hide from family christmas? Ronnie: I'm sick and they're sick of me Joe: I don't mean just today and you know it Ronnie: I don't give a fuck what you mean and you know it Joe: it's been years Ronnie: you want out, get out Joe: I don't Joe: but I'm the one with the limp dick Ronnie: yeah Joe: that's what I thought Ronnie: you think too much babe Joe: no shit Joe: don't wanna play therapy, thanks Ronnie: what do you wanna play then? Joe: you're sick, I'm sick Ronnie: no game Ronnie: it's how shit is Joe: fun never stops, babe Ronnie: if your idea of fun is making me wanna top myself, soft lad Joe: you can't Joe: you've gotta lick it up after Ronnie: can't I? race yous Joe: wait 'til I'm there Joe: don't ruin their day any more Ronnie: I'm already waiting for you to decide you wanna come back and be scum of the fucking earth with me again Joe: it ain't a choice to be made or not Joe: it's how shit is Ronnie: you made loads of choices to get there Ronnie: plane rides to dublin don't just happen Joe: basically Ronnie: pathetic Joe: yeah Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: don't agree with me Joe: disagreeing ain't gonna change that I'm here now Ronnie: you don't wanna change it Ronnie: you love it Joe: yep Joe: big time Joe: fucking hell Ronnie: you've got such a misery hard on, you shouldn't be near kids Joe: why don't you hit them up Joe: let them know Ronnie: you're the only cunt with their mummy on speed dial Joe: alright well I ain't up for telling everyone I'm a predator Ronnie: do you wanna fuck her too or what? Joe: do you? Ronnie: nah Ronnie: why I don't come running every time someone in your family blows their nose or whatever the fuck Joe: me either Joe: it's christmas fucking day Joe: how many times Ronnie: like this is the first and only time Ronnie: but I'm crazy, yeah Joe: you are Joe: you're nuts Ronnie: don't forget it Ronnie: I'll be crazier by tomorrow Joe: promises promises Ronnie: I promise I'll ruin your fucking life, prick Joe: oh honey Joe: that's not a brag Joe: not hard is it Ronnie: you ain't talking to fitz baby I don't brag Joe: you can't Ronnie: you think you can tell me what I can and can't do Joe: don't take it personal Joe: try it Ronnie: don't take it personal when I kick the shit out of you mckenna Joe: how can I not when I love it so much Joe: think on Ronnie: 'cause I still love you 😍💋💘 Joe: s'alright baby, the way I wanna go out Joe: 💀💀💀 Ronnie: call me when you've stopped pleasuring your ma, I'll make it happen for you Joe: so understanding all of a sudden Joe: who's got your phone Ronnie: fuck off Joe: there she is Ronnie: what now you miss me? Ronnie: running late there baby Joe: I already told you I did Joe: you said I weren't allowed no more Ronnie: I said don't tell me Ronnie: I can't handle hearing it if it don't change a fucking thing Joe: alright Joe: but it changes a fucking lot Joe: you know Joe: not just for you Joe: I promise I'm really fucked from it Ronnie: yeah? Ronnie: so stop fucking around and come back to me Ronnie: first chance you get Ronnie: 'cause it's shit Joe: I know, I really know Joe: you've got no reason to believe me but you will see me tomorrow Joe: regardless of what any of them have gotta say on it Joe: never wanted to be here so not prolonging it Ronnie: I wanna believe you Ronnie: don't fuck me over twat Joe: I won't Joe: fuck myself over too Joe: time to start being fully selfish prick, yeah Joe: there's enough going on now, don't need me Ronnie: tell the truth that you're threatened by the off their tits 18 year olds that birthday boy will be surrounded by Ronnie: got more game than you Joe: yeah Joe: not the one chatting about fucking the barely legals Joe: but sure Ronnie: you would if they'd give you the time of day mckenna Ronnie: come on Ronnie: one day in dublin turned you into an old dried up nun? Joe: I dunno, I've not scoped out the guestlist that hard Joe: unlike my brother, girls I've known since they were kids don't do it for me, what can I say? Ronnie: blood relatives only like Joe: only when they're you Ronnie: such a lost fucking cause Joe: don't worry, was before you Joe: not gotta add that to the tally Ronnie: our safe word can be trauma bonding Ronnie: loads in common Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you're alright Joe: when you're not a total raging bitch Ronnie: never then Ronnie: what am I when I'm a raging bitch? Joe: for me Ronnie: you sure you don't wanna party with the homos babe? that was proper gay Joe: fuck off Ronnie: write me a symphony next, yeah? Joe: and I'm the gay Joe: alright, romantic Ronnie: don't get an attitude 'cause I've fucked more lasses than you Joe: still time Joe: not as old as you Ronnie: you wanna make it to that age or what? careful how you talk to me Joe: wow, just like having a nan Joe: cheers babe Ronnie: fuck you Joe: 💘 Ronnie: we all know if you had a nan you'd wanna fuck her too Ronnie: step outside the family baby you might enjoy yourself Joe: doubt it Joe: do have one technically but she ain't all that Ronnie: 💔 Ronnie: you need the scouse accent to get it up, yeah? Joe: you or the beatles ain't it Ronnie: that was mildly funny calm down Joe: steady on Joe: might think you like me Ronnie: won't last Ronnie: due a mood swing in like 2 seconds Joe: s'alright Joe: all 23 of you love me Ronnie: 😂😍 here 'course Joe: yeah, never trusting your emojis again Joe: need photographic evidence, like Ronnie: [sends it cos that bitch but imagine her actual grumpy cat face bye] Ronnie: in proper stitches, alright Joe: should play poker pro Joe: you're too cute though, never believe that face is 21 or over Ronnie: call me cute again and I'll carve it into your chest Ronnie: capital letters Joe: [sends voice memo] Ronnie: I proper fucking hate you Joe: you knew I'd wanna so you clearly want to as well Joe: don't blame me you sadist Ronnie: you know what I want mckenna Ronnie: we ain't got a secret santa going Joe: take these socks back Ronnie: you'll wanna keep 'em for your misery boner babe Joe: you've not got me an escort then Joe: gutting Ronnie: crazy, remember? you could fuck her but I'd have to kill her Joe: alright, I'll keep your charges at manslaughter level Joe: for you Ronnie: 💋 Joe: when do you next have a shift or are you done fully now Ronnie: tomorrow but that ain't happening if you've meant a word you said Joe: I'll make it worth it Ronnie: not hard to beat out retail when there's sales on Ronnie: wouldn't have gone if you were here or not Joe: don't tell me that Joe: I was talking 💸 not the #experience Ronnie: you wanna be my daddy too now? these roleplays are getting hard to keep count of Joe: again, thinking how much gear I'm gonna get but you can pout about it if you wanna Joe: already earned the scars so I don't mind saying it again Ronnie: rain man ain't a fantasy, gutted for you, like Ronnie: doing my best here Joe: you do it well Joe: smarter than everyone I know Ronnie: the princess will be gutted Joe: you don't have to tell her, like Joe: but not too fussed Ronnie: no secrets among scumbags baby Ronnie: even if she reckons she's levelled up Joe: you don't? Ronnie: anyone can drop a sprog Ronnie: trap a lad Ronnie: didn't saint your ma, did it? Joe: nah Joe: just don't reckon she was ever really one of us Joe: surprised if you do Ronnie: she wouldn't fight it so hard if she weren't Joe: I dunno Ronnie: I do, seen it loads Ronnie: gutters such a good fit it scares her shitless so she's gotta cling to that poor cunt Ronnie: he's her life raft through the shit Joe: hardly dragging him down though, is she Joe: not gonna be complaining any time soon, I've seen a lifetime of that Ronnie: everybody needs a fix that's theirs Joe: guess so Joe: no sign of getting over it any time soon Ronnie: I'm more likely to get clean before she does of him and I've got a nosebleed from all the shit B's ground up to stop me puking up Charlie's christmas feast Ronnie: sent my boss a pic though so it ain't all 💔 Joe: ☁ Joe: so glass half-full you, baby Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: can't be trusted with an empty one Joe: why are you the only one who talks any sense Joe: least all they're chatting is just waves now Ronnie: I pay attention Ronnie: you'd have broke your rules and 💘 me as a kid babe Joe: yeah? Joe: charlie's told me stories but never fully know what's bullshit or at the least exaggeration with him Ronnie: a solid 85% at least Ronnie: I was fucking feral though he's got that coined right Ronnie: you think I'm crazy now this shit's nothing Joe: I should've known you Ronnie: everyone who touched me back then has got a bite mark out of them Ronnie: you wouldn't have made it Joe: nah Joe: shit was different then Joe: so was I Ronnie: still gonna have been too soft whenever Joe: not the point though is it Joe: she should've got bitten Ronnie: she should've done loads of things Ronnie: she didn't Joe: I know Joe: fucked Ronnie: you won't give a shit tomorrow Joe: well Joe: be too numb to chat about it and think about it Joe: good as Ronnie: deal with it til then Joe: 🤐 got it Ronnie: unless you wanna bite your ma yourself like Ronnie: whatever gets you off Joe: you too Ronnie: cheers Ronnie: swallowing too much blood to fit in a dick but I'll try again later Joe: are you alright? Joe: where are the lads Ronnie: don't cry Ronnie: they're enjoying the show Ronnie: it ain't christmas til someone bleeds, pukes or pisses themselves Ronnie: can't give 'em the other two I ain't a pussy 💔 Joe: adorable, some would say Joe: is it really so much to ask that they keep you alive 'til I'm back Ronnie: relax I've had heavier periods Ronnie: you'll have to kill me yourself Joe: be fun trying Joe: challenge accepted Ronnie: hot Joe: don't forget it Ronnie: not gonna black out this shit ain't working that hard Joe: good Joe: call me needy all you want just don't go Ronnie: if I wanted to take the piss I could better than that Joe: not that gone either Ronnie: what are you on? Ronnie: 🍾 Joe: and my meds Joe: managed to get some extra 'cos I'm terrified of flying, obvs Ronnie: you're the one who's gonna die before you get here Ronnie: basically sober Ronnie: baby that's fucked Joe: I know Joe: options are limited Joe: not like I can go in on whatever anyone else is having when one lot is off the coke and the others are off the psychedelics Joe: fucking babies Ronnie: I mean, you could suck on the princess' tits but that ain't gonna give you what you really need Ronnie: talk to the dealer at your table, he's a baby too but he'll be holding something Joe: she's not got 3 Joe: and shut up Joe: though the latter isn't a terrible idea Joe: like you said, not gonna have anything good enough but Ronnie: I know, she weren't fully clothed for the 3way Joe: what part of shut up don't you get Ronnie: make me bitch Joe: such a twat you Ronnie: stop being a little fucking girl Joe: stop chatting about bullshit for a reaction Ronnie: you wanted me to stay Joe: yeah Joe: don't need to talk about that Ronnie: what then Ronnie: how much you love me Joe: anything but that Joe: literally Ronnie: I've plugged the 🩸 you can dry your eyes Joe: good Joe: don't be wasting it on something so lame Ronnie: you reckon that's lame I'm gonna have to eat the 💊 like it's the fucking 90s Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: very retro Joe: see what throwbacks I can get from this kid too Joe: be a party Ronnie: get your brother some poppers for his birthday Joe: probably be appreciated Joe: hence I won't Joe: chuck the obligatory tenner his way Ronnie: 🌈🙌 Joe: 😬 Ronnie: such a prude joseph Joe: you didn't have to live with them/partially raise them Joe: not something I wanna think about and they insist on making me constantly, pretty much Ronnie: didn't get to, you mean Ronnie: we're all 💔 babe Joe: you can revel in how much of a blessing it is on that score with your commiseration toast Ronnie: yeah Joe: yeah Ronnie: now we're finishing each other sentences 💘😍 Joe: christ 😂 Joe: oh Joe: you know uni sophie is engaged now Joe: wanna go if they make it down the aisle? Ronnie: I really fucking do Ronnie: did I miss her engagement party? Joe: dunno actually Joe: I'll actually ask next time she tries to talk Joe: bet she's missed you almost as much as me Ronnie: ask her now she'll have wished you merry christmas Joe: how'd you know? Joe: hacked my accounts Joe: hot Ronnie: I could but don't need to Ronnie: a 💍 don't mean she ain't still 😍💘 for you mckenna Joe: still only human, after-all Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: awh come on Joe: you know you wanna see 'em all in their festive jumpers Joe: [sends post] Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: she one of your plan b girls like, she's got fat enough that you might wanna check she swallowed it Joe: ugh no Joe: any plan b baby of mine would be toddling by now Ronnie: reassuring Joe: if you want 99% on that front I'll sweep the old friends list Joe: make sure they've got no offspring with the 👂s Ronnie: you reckon I haven't Ronnie: living with such a computer whizz Joe: true Joe: his talents are probably better spent getting free netflix Ronnie: way ahead of you Joe: boxsets are what the season is really about Ronnie: gutted you ain't here, yeah? Joe: yeah Ronnie: you'll be back in time for the finale where the korean robots stop fighting to the death long enough to save the world or whatever the fuck Joe: 😂 Joe: can't wait Ronnie: 'course not Ronnie: edge of your seat shit Joe: do you ever think about going back Joe: to liverpool Ronnie: for what? Ronnie: am I losing the accent? 💔 Joe: not as bad as I have Joe: I dunno Ronnie: no fucker there I wanna see Ronnie: you'll have to do the mckenna childhood ghost tour on your own Joe: come on Joe: gear must be good Joe: fuss they made about it Ronnie: it's decent here Ronnie: take another swing babe Joe: cheaper there Joe: everything, like Ronnie: you know how to get freebies Joe: fine Ronnie: I'm not gonna play house with you in that shithole, shut the fuck up Joe: I said fine Joe: jesus Ronnie: couldn't hear it through your tears like Joe: piss off Joe: it ain't about you Ronnie: you asked me if I wanted to go back Ronnie: I ain't stopping you Joe: can't anyway Joe: doubt their orchestra pays as well Joe: assuming there is one Ronnie: if everything's cheaper they don't need to Joe: whatever Joe: be a stupid thing to do regardless Ronnie: and you never do anything stupid, yeah? Joe: it's the one area of my life I don't Joe: yeah Ronnie: don't be a prick Ronnie: you know you could join the philharmonic Joe: I ain't going Joe: forget about it Ronnie: fine Joe: funny Ronnie: feels like shit don't it, getting one back Ronnie: just 'cause you're surrounded by sprongs don't mean you can't use your words Joe: you don't wanna go, there's nowt else to say Ronnie: it ain't about me Ronnie: you forgot you just said that already? Joe: doesn't mean I wanna go without you Joe: don't be stupid Ronnie: you can find another girl to shoot you up babe Joe: if you're gonna chat shit don't bother Joe: I love you Ronnie: give yourself a gift and hate me Joe: If I could, it'd have been on sight Joe: it's not like you charmed your way into my 💘 Ronnie: nah I injected myself into your veins Joe: don't give away your secrets Ronnie: not to shit on your christmas but it's only a secret for that lot where you are Joe: worst kept Ronnie: why keep it then? Joe: why announce it? Ronnie: you reckon she should get bitten, that'd do it Joe: 🥂 gather round fam Joe: they'd not believe it Joe: find a way to laugh it off, ignore the obvious Ronnie: roll up your sleeve, they can't fucking ignore that Joe: I'm pissing off mid-festivities Joe: that'll do it Ronnie: pussy Joe: what's it matter to you Ronnie: fuck you Joe: I mean it Joe: I'm coming back Ronnie: and that's all I give a shit about, yeah? Joe: obviously not Joe: but it makes no odds to you if I ruin their lives or not Ronnie: you're a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: but why specifically Ronnie: why the fuck do you think Joe: you want me to pick you Joe: to burn it all to the ground for them Joe: it ain't enough all the ways I've already done both Ronnie: you want me to be happy that you've had your cake and ate it Ronnie: nah, I hope you fucking choke baby Joe: I'll try my best Joe: I can't go back and make her keep you, there's shit I can do Ronnie: I don't want her, I want you Joe: it's been four fucking years Joe: you have me Joe: fucking Joe: I'd die without you Joe: I could get clean before I could leave you Ronnie: you did leave Joe: okay Joe: I did Joe: I left Ronnie: and they want you to stay Ronnie: these pricks want the princess here over me Joe: baby Joe: they want you Joe: they just need a chance to miss you, it's all it is Joe: we can go somewhere Joe: anywhere Ronnie: I'm fucking off to yours Ronnie: after that wherever Joe: I promise Joe: wherever you wanna Joe: and for how long Ronnie: wherever you want Ronnie: I don't give a shit Joe: it don't matter Joe: I just need to see you Ronnie: yeah Joe: you know I want you don't you Ronnie: show me when you drag your arse back here Joe: of course Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: it's like walking through a ghost town, you'd have such a boner if you were here Joe: shame Joe: is the cat there Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: singing carols for me Joe: she's talented Ronnie: shame I ain't a pushy stage ma Joe: why live vicariously when you can be a double-act babe Ronnie: you're not funny mckenna Joe: s'okay Joe: won't insist on being the warm-up Joe: not that kinda dad Ronnie: you need the practice though Joe: have to write my set on the plane Joe: impress you Ronnie: give you something to do besides cry and touch yourself Joe: not flying first Joe: or business even Joe: no blanket, no tissues Joe: 😿 Ronnie: poor baby Joe: I know Joe: tragedy Ronnie: I'm not doing the dance moves, like Ronnie: keep dreaming Joe: 💔 Joe: send me a video of your duet at least then Ronnie: [imagine that sassy cat please] Joe: I miss her Joe: shame she'd probably gouge our eyes out if we tried to take her with Ronnie: so will I but that ain't ever turned you off Joe: no one's going to ring RSPCA if they see me kidnapping you Ronnie: childline maybe Ronnie: I ain't forgot you said I had a fucking 👶 face you twat Joe: 😂 Joe: true Joe: but I'm banking on you being that offended you'll sort 'em out, like Ronnie: and you Joe: 💘 Joe: banking on that too Ronnie: 🖕💋 Ronnie: brb calling Briggs for a full face tat before you show up Joe: if you don't wanna kiss that bad, just say Ronnie: shut up Joe: so what's it to be Joe: spiders web Joe: skull Ronnie: see what the genius comes up with Joe: I look forward to the big reveal Ronnie: what time's your flight? Joe: [some ungodly AM 'cos xmas madness] Ronnie: fuck Joe: don't worry Joe: won't wake you Ronnie: all these pills will probably keep me up Ronnie: fuck knows Joe: n'awh, you wanna wait up for me Joe: how sweet 😏 Ronnie: kill yourself Ronnie: you've got more of my attention than korean death robots, calm down Ronnie: it's not a brag babe Joe: isn't it Joe: it's pretty epic if Bronson's livetweets are anything to go by Ronnie: it's the pills talking Joe: 😂 Joe: never have that affect on you 💔 Ronnie: deal with it Ronnie: I ain't gonna clean your flat, like Joe: probably enabling that, if you think about it Joe: so caring, babe Ronnie: how late did you leave packing there's shit everywhere Joe: I didn't Joe: only needed what I've got on Joe: got their presents in town Joe: easy Ronnie: you fucking knew you were gonna come straight back and still wanted me to beg Ronnie: maybe you ain't as soft as you were Joe: wanted makes it sound like I planned any part of it Joe: I knew I was coming back 'cos today was all I could stand Joe: being here, not being there Ronnie: don't ruin the fantasy Joe: poor baby Ronnie: yeah I am Ronnie: climbing the fucking walls here Joe: you or sid Ronnie: me and her Joe: babies Joe: what can I do Joe: need something to do Ronnie: do me Joe: alright Joe: call me Ronnie: [obviously does so we can end it there]

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Bea & Fraze

Bea: *Bea felt sick. She'd felt sick the whole day, not able to focus on any task, told off for daydreaming (as if), waiting for this moment to come, thinking SO hard for a way out of it but still not having a solid one by the time the bell for lunch rang and Miss was calling out their names. Crosslegged on the carpet, being 'Agosti' gave her no extra time to prepare either. There was only Josh Abbott and Amaya Adams before her on the register. She was a School dinner kid, that meant getting in line to be led to the dining room to get your tray of whatever shit they were serving today. The packed-lunch early years' kids stayed in the classroom, having their sandwiches and crisps and whatever else where they'd been doing their colouring and ABCs earlier. Trying to swallow the lump in her throat as she cleared it, and then trying to look the way the movie stars looked when you were annoying them, narrowing your eyes, raising a brow like you were so stupid, instead of shamefaced embarrassed, when Miss faltered at her interruption and the class tittered, expectant. 'Yes, Katie, what is it?' 'I've not got my lunch money, Miss.' Of course, it had to be drama, huffing and puffing with the classroom helpers who shook their heads, some with equal annoyance, some with pity, Miss making a big scene of 'Why not?' and then 'Well HOW did you forget?'; pondering out loud if she could be trusted to bring money in tomorrow, if that would be allowed and on and on it went, the kids getting rowdier again, laughing and sneering, all that bullshit washed over her anyway, she didn't care about them. Just standing there, still and expressionless, wishing they'd hurry up and make a bloody decision. Protests, pointing out 'I'm not even hungry anyway' batted away with annoyance 'You HAVE to eat lunch, Katie, don't be ridiculous!' Everyone loving how in trouble she was. This was all his fault. She hated him so much. Trying not to care, because that was the punishment, and if she wasn't embarrassed then he hadn't won, hadn't got what he wanted out of it, had he? She stood there, jogging her right leg up and down, the 'I'm bored of this now so you all should be too' look plastered on her face, fixed so tight it ached to maintain it on days like this. She caught eyes with that freckly boy, who hadn't joined in with the laughing yet, and wasn't looking at her just to see how much trouble she'd be in. She didn't know how she could tell, but she just could, she narrowed her eyes at him, furrowing her brows, as if to say 'What do you want?'* Fraze: *Lunch was proper class, not the cheese sarnies and deffo not the bruised fruit that his ma kept putting back into his bag day on day like enough threats and hard looks would make him eat it on one of 'em. Nah tah. Apples or oranges he could kick or lob decent but bananas were fucking scratty shit. It'd been a laugh when Joe showed him how to shove one up a car exhaust, yeah, but he couldn't reckon on one of the lads keeping watch every time. They were too soft, like. And he could hear his ma now if he got caught, feel how far he'd have to duck out of her way if the news caught her when she was home. Forget her having his knackers in a vice like she did his da, he wanted to be let out for footie, free to smash any other scally at the beautiful game whenever he fancied. That was what he was thinking about 'til it got gegged by the bullshit around him kicking up a notch. Alright. Fuck's sake. It was all going off from what he could tell 'cause that girl who was always on her tod hadn't got her spends, which shouldn't be nothing 'cept the teachers were being well cackhanded as per and keeping her pure embarrassed. Or so he'd have reckoned if he hadn't kept glancing, like. With one more he recognised how fuming she was. It was just the same as how he got, but she weren't handling it in any of the ways he did. Or didn't. Depending who you asked. He kept waiting for her to shout or swear or throw the tray and leg it, but there was none of that. Alright then. She had his full attention with the rest. 'Course that made him feel bad 'cause he wasn't stupid, he knew she didn't want any of 'em staring, but for every knobhead that he elbowed or glared at to shut up, more joined in laughing or pissing about that he'd have to make himself noticed too to deal with. That would be stupid. What then? It felt like ages before he worked out that he was gonna give her the fruit and half of whatever else Joe had thrown into his lunchbox this morning. Longer before he stood to do it, meeting the girl's eye for the first time. He made his voice loud.* Miss, she can share with me, I've got loads. Bea: *She didn't have to wait long for an answer, not that it was an answer that satisfied her, AT ALL; fucking hell. She shook her head, trying to protest but it was lost under how much Miss was wetting herself in excitement, literally clapping her hands together, making more of a show of how considerate and kind he was being, and how they should all make more effort to be like that to each other. Like, yeah, this boy was usually one for acting up, making her job harder than she liked, but no need to go overboard. Apparently so, though, at least Bea weren't the only one in this silly pantomime now, that gave her some solace and pride back. Not that it was hers to keep, a 'Thank you, Frazier' forced from her by their stupid teacher. As if that weren't bad enough, she was then plonked down next to him on his lunch table, as if he'd agreed to be her 'bezzie mate', as they'd probably put it. She scowled down at her shoes, kicking the table leg in frustration. This was so shit. She jutted her chin out, looking up at the blonde kid with defiance, and a shrug.* Thanks but keep it, I don't need anything. Fraze: *His eyes would've rolled back into his head at miss' bullshit if he'd let 'em, but right now, he only had eyes for who he'd lumbered himself with this break without knowing why he'd bothered. She wasn't, this girl whose voice didn't match his (too posh for 'round here), or really sound like it should come out of her either (too quiet for the anger he saw was there, barely hiding). She talked like someone off the telly but she kicked out at the table like she belonged at his, squeezed between his ma and da too, like. Same temper. Call this the mad kid table, yeah? Katie sat down and everyone stopped craning their necks and finally put some food in their gobs. Good. Still, his nose scrunched itself up at the teacher's continued fannying about, fuck the pat on the head. He didn't do it for that, he weren't no goodie two shoes and nobody called him Frazier, not even his ma when she was on one. He'd just wanted everyone to shut up and they had now. So whatever. Job done, yeah? Go away, miss. When it was only them two he emptied his bag out onto the table, and giving the lunchbox a hard shove towards her as she tried to refuse, in a way that matched her attitude and unmistakably said, 'yeah, you do.' Or, 'it's lunchtime, what else are you gonna do, watch me eat?' * Bea: *Bea scowled at him, taking a little less than half, what she knew she was meant to, including the battered banana that was starting to smell like what she knew as booze from all the people's breath she'd smelt in on. Gross. She was resolute on not eating any of it anyway, even if her stomach was growling, feral with the hunger, making her mood worse, it was always worse when she was hungry, all of it. She remembered Sunday mornings with her Dad, crispy bacon on fluffy white rolls, yellow pools of butter. Vague remembrances of him telling her not to tell her Mum soured by all the things she wasn't allowed to tell now. Not hungry anyway. Yeah, right. All they'd had in this morning was those rusk things Luce liked so much and it didn't feel right taking anything from her, even when she felt so empty she might fall in on herself. Candy from a baby, yeah? Didn't take a genius to know that made you the bad guy. And there wasn't room for three of 'em in one house, was there. There was only one baddie in the films, maybe a gang but they only counted as one 'cos they was bad in the same ways. She weren't nothing like him or her, nah, fuck that forever. No one was gonna be bad like they were to her, to Luce, never. She shook her head, not wanting to be here, in these thoughts, in her head, again. He had a point on that, even if he was annoying with it; What else was she gonna do? She tore her half of the sandwich up, playing with it, acting like she was always just about to put it in her mouth but always got distracted before she could.* I owe you then. Fraze: *He'd fucked up, she was telling him that every way but saying it out loud so it didn't matter how, why or because. His ma would say 'are-eh' all sarky if she were here, he reckoned and that jogged him on to get over it. Stop being soft. Sulking, like. If you don't like it, do something that voice inside told him. His da would. Joe would. Even little Tommo would have a go, if only by throwing a wobbler loud as a baby brat could. Fine then. Fraze turned to her with a shrug, shaking his head that nah, she didn't owe him fuck all. Meaning it. Well, it went boss, 'course it did. No effect. She was just still pissing about like she'd never seen a sarnie with the crusts cut off before. Maybe she was up herself like some of the other's said, too good to eat with him or any food made for him, like. That'd be right, after he'd put himself out. He kicked out at the table leg himself to settle his stomach back, using more force that she had, before bothering to try to fill it and replace the frustration with fullness. 'Cause that made you happy, yeah?* It's just cheese. *He stuffed the whole of his share of sandwich into his mouth as if to prove it weren't that bad, chewing with the same fierceness. Blue eyes burned into green unflinchingly as if forcing her to watch him would also make her copy the actions and eat. Like she was Tommo's age and it was that simple.* Bea: *She looks down at the table leg pointedly, raising a brow, 'What'd it ever do to you, like?' also throwing a cursory glance the adult's way, yeah, they were getting noticed.* Thanks a bunch. *She smiled sweetly, as if it were a genuine thanks, shoving a bit of the sandwich in her mouth sharpish, they'd be over like a flash to make her otherwise, least this display had 'em focusing on the kid choking on their crisps again, 'stead of them.* Well, I do. So think what you want fast or I'll decide for you. *She said, matter-of-fact. Savouring the first bite of food she'd had since...3 o'clock, yesterday? And that was only the sweets she'd settled on from Al's, should've gone for something more filling... She frowned.* And I know what cheese is, by the way. *Obviously, the boy was regretting being 'nice' to her now. Standard. Not like anyone else bothered. Oh well. She turned her body to face away from him, arms folded in her lap, body language closed. Cheeks pinkening at the idea he thought she was trying to be his friend, and not only that, but he was going to be like all the rest and be so openly against the idea. Well, think again.* I'll stop talking to you, how's that for a favour? Fraze: *He followed her gaze to where it went when it broke off from his and saw that he'd probably be in trouble if he didn't stop. At the very least one of the teachers would try and make him do that counting to calm down thing which never fucking worked and made him feel like such a twat. He sighed, exactly how he so often heard one of his parents do, without knowing he'd made a sound never mind done his own copying. There wasn't any consideration in his next action either, Fraze just did it. Broke the chocolate bar down the middle and assigned her the bigger piece. Like she was him and he was Joe. He handed her share to her, wordlessly, not taking no for an answer, like. Not waiting for one. No fucking way was he gonna let her decide anything for him. So yeah, he was thinking on his feet. And gonna make a quality choice, obviously.* Go'ed giz us some sweets then if you're gonna cry 'bout it, like. *He shrugged again, giving pretending that the idea of getting anything decent from her (just 'cause he gave her half a manky sarnie, handful of crisps and a banana) wouldn't make his day. A grin escaped anyway. He couldn't help it, how she talked made him want to. It was dead funny.* Yeah? *He raised his eyebrows as if he was pure shocked by the idea of someone knowing what cheese was. *Well, no take backs, you said I can have whatever I want, shit sarnie or nah. * He nudged her, playfully, grinning. *Okay, but what if what I want is for you to chat to me, what you gonna do then? Fucked it for yourself, haven't you? You've gotta set boundaries for me, see, or I want it all. Bea: *She tried to not look at the chocolate as if she'd never seen any before, save him taking the piss again. Also save melting it in her palms, waste; she was about to take a bite, 'cos they were eating lunch now and it was pointless trying to fight that, especially as hunger always got worse if you had SOME food. It was like teasing yourself, poking the bear or whatever it was that adults said. Once you had a little, you NEEDED more. But fat chance she was letting that comment go unanswered, dickhead! She kicked his foot closest to her, not hard nor nothing, didn't need the teachers back 'on 'em and didn't need to make HIM cry, like.* I.don't.cry. Get that straight. *Bea took a bite now, for emphasis.* Right then, easy. Come with me after School, get it sorted. *She nodded, happy to have it sorted by time the day was out, and happy he'd picked something she could give or she would've had to get creative. Blinking at him, at what felt like a sudden change of heart from the boy, and concealing the grin that tries to form in return of his, she shakes her head.* Nah, it's one for one, you don't get unlimited favours, idiot. And you'd rather have sweets, wouldn't you? *Bea shrugs, finishing the chocolate, licking her lips clean.* Fraze: *He laughed, no shame at it now that she was finally reacting in a way he was used to, shaking his head again, harder this time.* All girls cry. End of. *Ma's didn't count, like, and she didn't know his, so whatever. That could be the story and he was sticking to it. She had hers and the way she was telling it meant he'd get sweets. If she wasn't full of it, Joe would lose his mind. They all would. Ali would definitely cry and she wasn't allowed chocolate or sweets yet to know how good they were. His grin widened at the idea of having something none of them did, for once. But the voice was back as soon as he had that thought, turning it into more of a frown, telling him that if he showed the rest of them what he had, he'd have to fight to keep every sweet and losing wasn't just about sharing, it was shaming. Fuck. He'd have to eat 'em all before he got home. There weren't decent enough hiding places in the flat to risk anything else. The fucking dog would sniff 'em out and he'd be in the shit like he was at Easter. Fraze clicked his lunchbox shut, why the hell was he thinking about that? Stop being a div. She'd gonna think you are, and worse.* Alright. I'll ask. *Easy said, 'cause like he'd already, to himself, she didn't know his ma. Or that there was no chance she'd let him go down the shops with the new girl at school 'cause he asked nice. Still, he nodded himself to convince her (at least) that it was happening. Fuck knows what Katie would be like if she reckoned she still owed him. Nah tah, to that. But wait a sec, he might not have to be the loser mama's boy in her eyes though if this after school plan went tits up. She was right, 'course he wanted sweets, but he still knew better than not to take advantage of the possibility that he didn't, just in case. He was a McKenna for fuck's sake.* Who says? Bea: Well you must only know really pathetic girls then because I never cry so you're wrong. *She stuck her tongue out at him, not even checking if any adult was looking now. She believed it, though; Loads of the kids in their class, girls AND boys, still cried every morning when their Mums left, clinging to their legs, begging 'em not to leave... And barely anyone took the piss out of them, much. It pissed Bea off. She could handle the ones who just wouldn't have nothing to do with her, suited her fine anyway, but the ones who thought they were funny or hard or whatever were the worst. Didn't have time or energy for it, didn't they get it? She shook her head. Still, this one, Fraze, they ACTUALLY called him, not Frazier, wasn't being like that right now; So for this lunch break, (JUST this one, like), she'd 'play nice' as Miss always told her to.* If you can't come tell me what's your favourite and I'll still give it you tomorrow morning, swear. *She held out her pinky to him.* I say. What, you wanting something for every single bit of your lunch or something? That's a bloddy cheek, init? *She smiled, to show she was joking.* Fraze: *His eyebrows rose in proper surprise for the first time since they'd sat down together. She weren't backing down, maybe she was right that she weren't like other girls in their class? She already hadn't pitched a fit when he swore or run off to tell on him like others did when he did in front of them. But he couldn't let her know that, could he? Still a McKenna, like. If she earned it, he might give her a clue. Maybe. For now, he just had to fight back. With a laugh he balled up the empty crisp bag and threw it at her, not hard, but aiming for her head. 'Course it was a direct hit. A teacher moved towards the table at speed, but he reckoned it was worth it anyway. She'd be well impressed, how could she not be? Before the telling off could come and stop him, Fraze continued to grin proudly as he linked his finger with hers, making sure she did promise even if she was mad at him now. And he nodded too.* Well, I like Sherbet Lemons best, remember that, yeah? In case and just 'cause.* He grinned back, trying not to show how happy it'd make him if they could go to the shops sometime. He didn't like girls, but if she weren't, basically (and they both agreed, or as good as, that she weren't a standard one, at least) then it was alright. Fuck it. He laughed that off with what else she said.* Nah, not for this shit show, but next time I save you, for sure. I'll step my game up. Then you'll owe me big and won't wanna refuse. Bea: *She saw the hit for what it was, a challenge. She wasn't, however, as fully certain on what the response he was after was, especially when the big grin came. If he wanted her to cry, good fucking luck, boy. The teacher who marched over and made Fraze not only apologize to her but get up and put his crisp packet in the bin, helped her work it out, giving her no time or chance to respond with violence, like. Instead, she made funny faces behind the woman's back at him whilst he was at the bin, sticking up her middle fingers (being careful that only he saw because SO many of the girls would love a chance to dob her in for anything). As he sat back down she smacked him upside the head, shaking her own, bemused but not necessarily mad.* NEXT time? What makes you think I'll need you EVER again? And what's bigger than sherbert lemons? *Her eyebrows rose questioningly with her grin, to show she expected an answer* Fraze: *His apology was about as sincere as her thank you earlier, like, 'cause he knew she weren't mad at him. If he was sorry for anything it'd be the lunch bell going. This was a proper laugh and girl or not, Katie was sound. He didn't even get mad himself when he had to get up and clean up 'cause she made sure. No promise needed. It should've wrecked his head that this posh girl with no mates he hadn't spoke to before today was pulling the same tricks on him right now that he did to keep the lads thinking he was boss but he didn't. Maybe it was just that he'd already worked out they were the same and she belonged with him on the angry kid table or he could've been having too much fun watching her to care. Either way, like his ma and da always said, he'd take what he could get. Keep on loving it, yeah? It helped that she could hit an' all, better than most of the other boys on his street. Fraze was so impressed that he wanted to blurt that news out to her there and then, but he didn't. Couldn't 'cause that'd only show that she didn't need him, any time, probably, and she'd win. He wanted that way less than Sherbet Lemons, if he admitted it out loud or not.* What makes you think you won't? You got form now, ain't yous? *He shrugged, stomach twisting, though he didn't know why any possible answer she could give in reply would do that. So what if she never wanted to see him again? Give a fuck, yeah? He was popular, he didn't need her as a mate. She needed him to be hers, if anything. Remember.* Plenty of shit is, I can fit loads of 'em in my mouth if I want. I'll show you later on if you don't reckon so. Bea: *Back to scowling, getting up from her seat, metal chair legs scraping on the vinyl floor as she pushed away from the table and away from him, slamming her chair under the desk with more force than necessary. Why'd he have to say that, like that? Oh well. It was only a lunch time, like she'd said. And the bell was due to go in five, according to Miss' loud voice ringing too close in her ear.* Oh, piss off, Frazier. See you later.*She tutted turning away from him sharply. Bea busied herself with helping clean up, a task she usually left to the rest of her class, only pretending to help, like. She kept catching his eye from across the classroom, unable to stop herself for some stupid bloody reason. She made mental note to sit as far away as possible from him when it was carpet time next.* Fraze: *He didn't know what he'd said or done but he knew what he couldn't and wouldn't. He wasn't sorry. Not for anything. Not ever. He weren't no pussy, like. And he deffo weren't the kind of soft lad that trailed along after a stupid girl. Older lads took the piss out of any that behaved like that, he'd heard 'em, under the slide at the park, bevvied voices carrying, loud and proud. The old pissheads that stumbled out of the ale 'ouse in the afternoon were the same but only in volume. He was meant to keep away from them, his ma and da made him swear. Not these lads though, they were cool. Decent. Fraze puffed his chest how he'd seen these teens do and turned away. Another job done. 'Cept his back wouldn't stay to her, wanting to be aware of what she was doing and if she cared what he was. Or not. Jesus Christ. Why and what the fuck? Alright she was funny, but not enough of a laugh to be a proper bitch. Fuck it, if he found out what he'd done wrong it'd stop winding him up, yeah? He'd ask her next chance he got and that'd be that. End of. He just didn't like not having the answer. He'd get that and get over it. Easy. Then he'd get his sweets and go home. Like she said, nothing beat his faves anyhow so whatever.* Bea: [Home Time] Bea: *It had been dead hard avoiding the freckly kid all afternoon. Harder than it should be. He was no more on her radar than the rest before this, like, but now it seemed everywhere she turned, he was there, being all loud and...well, loud, really. It didn't help when they were sat on the same table to do puzzles, snatching pieces from the other before they got place it becoming a game that almost got her to grin when she remembered what he said and she had to remember to scowl at him again. Idiot. Form? What did that even mean? And he could fucking talk. His Mum always picked him up, and he had a Dad too, he'd picked him and his Brother up too sometimes, with the little boy and girl which must be more family. What did he know about anything, like. Absolutely nothing. Baby. Home time was easily her least favourite bit of the day. All the Mums and Dads and Nans and older Sisters and Brothers waiting in the playground, the way all the other kids ran to the window, all excited to see who was there for them, waving until they'd be allowed out to jump into their arms, tell them all about their day as they walked hand in hand to their lovely Home where they'd have fish fingers and beans for dinner in front of kids' TV before bath time and being tucked up in a cosy bed and read a story 'til they fell asleep and got to do it all again tomorrow. She hated them all. But she had to stick close. She weren't no idiot. She knew how dead easy she could get snatched by some wrong'un. So she changed the way she went home, switching it up every day. Following a different family every time, so they didn't get suspect and ask her where her 'Mam' was, all concerned. Safety in being confused as one of theirs, with an adult to protect her. She'd never followed freckled boy, he didn't live the same way she did. Anyway, his Mum stared too hard and Bea didn't like it at all. Miss tried (and failed) to get everyone to calm, back crosslegged on the carpet as she did the last register to make sure everyone was accounted for and sent to the right family and home. Bea reckoned they spent half their day saying 'Here', as if it was possible to get out. She'd tried, plenty of times. It would be easier when they were in proper classrooms like the bigger kids but they were still treated like such little babies. Fraze was sat about three kids away, so she leaned behind, tapping him on the shoulder, giving him a silent thumbs up and then a thumbs down, to gauge if he remembered. He had. So when her name was called, number three, she spoke loud and clear over the overly-excited chittering of everyone else.* Miss, I'm going back with Frazier and his Mum today. *When Miss nodded, how little she cared clear, Bea went to gather her bag from the cloakroom, hanging about there 'til they got to the Ms on the register; That's where he was, right?* Fraze: *It was piss easy ignoring that girl for the rest of the afternoon, like. He had loads of mates, more than anyone else in the class had 'cause who didn't like him, 'cept her now. But he weren't thinking 'bout that, was he? If he thought he was properly gonna, it was all grins and chatter and laughter. Being louder than all them other sounds going on in his head, learning it off Joe, everything what not too do 'cause his brother could be well quiet and frowny and he didn't like that. Fuck no. Besides, his ma and da were loud all the time, even sleeping they snored and snored. Jesus, his ma could say more with one of her looks than miss said all day, and everyone on their street knew it. Like everyone in this class knew he was the funniest, best at footie and fighting by miles. So there. Katie could reckon whatever else she wanted. What did he care? He was Fraze McKenna. End of. Still, he couldn't help trying to get the girl to grin again, wanting to see it same as before, share jokes that half the rest of 'em never got. Fuck knows why. Maybe she was right, and he was different too, not just better. And they were both more like the older lads under the slide than the babyish girls who hid under their tables playing pretend. He'd been weighing that idea up for a bit himself anyway. He could hurt his big brother if he wanted, and sometimes he did want to. Katie could hurt anyone here if she felt like it ('cept him, 'course) and he reckoned she did, maybe more than sometimes. That went round and round his head 'til the bell rang and he had something else to think on. Home time. Time to worry 'bout other shit. At least today if was only if his ma would let him go to down the shops or nah, Joe would say it could be worse and he weren't wrong 'bout none of that stuff ever. His brother could be trusted to be right when Fraze weren't sure if he'd dreamed things or muddled them up. Joe knew what was real and what weren't no matter what. Alright then. Fine. He'd just get permission to go. No need to fucking cry 'bout it, only man up, she said she'd bring the sweets tomorrow if his ma said no, swore as well. He couldn't lose. Fuck it. Fraze charged out to do exactly that as soon as he could, without looking back to check if the new girl was keeping up with how fast he could run. Unlikely. He was proper fast. He nearly smacked into his ma with the force of it, like, but she just laughed. Ruffled his hair, glaring back at him when he tried to do one to make her stop, before cracking up again. Fucking hell. Pure embarrassing. He tried not to go red and get his words out. If he made this quick she couldn't do anything else to make him look stupid, yeah? Besides ask loads and loads of questions about where he was going, who else was, and what Katie's mum reckoned about it. Fraze stamped his foot impatiently through each one, earning a less jokey look of warning. Oh come on! He answered every one, he weren't gonna do it smiling while she made him look like a twat, was he?* Bea: *Bea rolled her eyes, as he ran out, surprised he didn't fall and scrape his knees on the tarmac the way he kept looking back at her. She couldn't help but smile smugly to herself, making sure to take her time just as smugly, swinging her bag at her side as if she was in no rush. 'Cos she weren't in no rush to chat to his Mum, no thanks. He could bloody sort that, she'd be doing the rest; favours didn't extend that far no matter how much of a hero he chatted he was. She hung back, bored, as she did the usual Mum thing and he went all pink. Bea looked the lady up and down, studying. Fraze didn't look loads like his Mum. They were both blonde but she was more pale, and her eyes were really big and it was creepy, she decided there and then. She was young, younger than the Mums that all stuck together looking everyone else up and down, but not the youngest by any stretch, the Mums who looked like they should still be at big School, like. Probably about as young as her Mum and Dad had been...That made her dislike her more. Bea did her best to stay out of it, even though he was being such a boy and making a right mess out of it but she instinctively chimed in when she asked what her Mum reckoned.* My Mum don't reckon anything, she's dead. *You find out quick it's a decent way to shut people up, or make 'em feel sorry for you and give you what you're after, simple as. Fuck, even Nan could be tapped for stuff when she was having one of her days where she wanted to go on and on about how much she loved and missed her 'little girl' wailing and sobbing so dramatically like she was trying to get an Oscar. Of course, ran the risk of her calling her 'Kathryn' (even though that weren't even her full name or nothing) and saying she wished she was the one that died instead but, who cared? Not like she didn't wish her Nan was dead too so it was fair. She copied Fraze, stamping her feet too, making eye contact with his Mum as she grinned, willing her to relent.* Fraze: *Fraze blinked when Katie told 'em about her ma ('cause he didn't know that or anyone else who had a dead ma, only some lads without das, dead or taken off by the bizzies for a stretch) but his own didn't flinch, she just asked instead what 'whoever was looking after her' reckoned then, not missing a beat, and calling her 'kid' which made him go even redder, like, his own eyes basically begging her to shut up, but his ma weren't paying no attention to him, only the girl next to him. It wasn't a look he'd had aimed at him before so he didn't have a clue what it meant, good or bad. Either way, he reckoned it was best to try and hurry this shit along. Not that his ma was having any of this. 'Course she wouldn't. He weren't born yesterday even if she was treating him like he was in front of this girl. He tried saying 'please' and everything, only screwing his face up a bit around the word, 'cause a whole bag full of sweets wouldn't disguise the taste of having to. If she was proud of him, she never said though, insisting that yeah, they could go to the shops if she went with them. FUCK! Arlarse weren't the word. Right, this weren't happening. No way was he going with his ma along to hold his hand like some baby. He'd rather starve. Or never speak to Katie again, ever, than have her think that's the kind of lad he was. Tah, ma. Honestly. Cheers so much. His face was burning up to his ears, it was shit enough she'd see that, they both would. Fraze scowled, shaking his head, fiercely.* Nah. Forget it. Bea: *Bea raised a brow, disbelieving. Was this lady actually daft? She gestured around her with an encompassing shrug of her shoulders.* You see 'em here? They reckon it's fine, adult. *Putting thick disdain on the 'adult' because the 'kid' had rubbed her up the wrong way so sod you, whoever's Mum you are, give a fuck. She let's it sit for as long as she can but sighs, inevitably relenting when she won't and he's about to blow his top with it. Poor boy. More hassle than they were worth, parents. Glad she didn't have any, like. Sure. Bea was sure she didn't want/couldn't have her coming if she were gonna stick to her promise, and she always did so. She'd try once more to get Fraze to come with, thinking it'd be good to impress him with all the sweets she could get, for free; but if his old lady was gonna be a pain in her arse she'd have to settle for just getting him his share tomorrow morning. No fun in it but at least she wouldn't owe him no more.* Look, my Nan's husband- *She had to call him Grandpa when he was here, to show how close they were to people and what a great man he was to raise the orphan girls, but he weren't here and she took the small amount of satisfaction it gave her to disobey him here and now-* is a Doctor at that surgery right there, see? I ALWAYS go to the corner shop after School, he watches the whole time, yeah? I'll bring him back safe. But if you're REALLY worried about YOUR child, I'll just go ALL BY MYSELF then. *Emphasis as a challenge, like are you concerned for real like you're fronting or are you just like Miss and the rest? As long as you're seen to have done your bit, then fuck off, kid, I'm blameless and don't owe you shit. Go on, disappoint me, like.* Fraze: *He couldn't believe what he was hearing, nobody talked to his ma like that, even his da knew better than to try it, like, but fucking hell, here was this tiny girl, half his size, giving it all that and more 'cause she weren't fronting that she weren't scared or anything, she just properly weren't. Fraze's chest felt tight and his stomach was well twisty, making him reckon that maybe he didn't want sweets so bad any more now. Wide blue eyes went from Katie to his ma and back again, not daring to blink in case he missed a sec of what either of 'em were gonna do next. He watched for everything that weren't said out loud an' all, 'cause that was the thing with his ma, she could be quieter than Joe ever had, when she wanted, but there was always something going on. Like he said, she was always loud, not always in the shouty way of it or whatever though. And right now he reckoned he could hear her thinking. Deciding about shit. More than if he was allowed sweets or nah. He swallowed hard, waiting, counting not to calm, exactly, just...fuck knows. He made it to 3 when he saw his ma do one of them smiles of hers that he tried to copy in the mirror whenever Joe weren't about to catch him. And then swore he felt the nod she gave as much as saw it, breathing out himself at the same time. Yeah? She was really saying it was alright instead of kicking off? Oh my god. His jaw was about to hit the floor, unlike his ma's which he knew was set as much as her mind was made up. She told him to 'go with his friend'. (The unspoken McKenna code passing between 'em with a look as he made sure to stand as tall as possible so his ma knew he understood that he was meant to look after this girl and would. Could easy.) He barely listened to the rest, knowing she'd be telling him the usual shit, to get his arse straight back to the cafe, no messing, blah blah blah, but he did hear her invite Katie back too, catching his classmate's eye quickly, unable to stop himself from hoping that she would come with after, get a coke with him and stick around. He liked her again and this time he really wanted her to know it. Be friends proper like his ma reckoned they were. But even more than that, he wanted to see if he could impress her too, somehow. For that, he needed time and opportunity so fingers crossed. The boy grinned widely, feeling it on his face but not caring who else saw. Things were going his way, why shouldn't he? Fuck off if you don't agree.* In a bit, ma. *He threw the words over his squared shoulders, feeling her watch him how he was sure she would they both until they were out of sight. Fine. He weren't mad. Not now.* Bea: *She wasn't sure how Fraze's Mum would react. Most adults (the normal ones) didn't know how to react to her, she made them uncomfortable, she did the other kids as well. Hell, even some of the bad adults she saw way more of couldn't handle her, just like old Al in the corner shop, she shook her head, smirking at the thought of rinsing him of all the good stuff, yet again. This time with someone to show-off to and share her spoils with. She liked it when she made people uncomfortable, it was better than the ones she didn't, they're the ones who made her feel like that instead and she hated it. Telling her how clever and grown-up and funny she was, but in the voice you'd use to talk to a baby so she doubted they fucking meant it. But she was. Had to be, so she had to take some damn pride in it too, thanks very much and fuck you for thinking otherwise. As much as she doubted the lady was gonna belt her one, still, Bea didn't reckon on a smile either; It ALMOST caught her off-guard, to the point she smiled back, before quickly wiping it off her features as if it never happened. Pretend it was to get out of here faster, whatever. She did a fake polite smile back when the invite came, knowing she couldn't already- but when she caught him trying to catch her eye, all eager and earnest- her reply that NEEDED to be 'No, thanks' stuck and instead she said nothing, just nodded her head dumbly. Oh well. She'd dash after, make whatever excuse worked best, no problem. Walking off from her with a bemused nod, kind of shocked that that had actually worked but proud it had, she stood up as tall as him (well, she wasn't, but back as straight and shoulder's pushed as far back, like), side by side. The shop really was only a few buildings down the road from their School and you only had to cross one tiny sideroad which was easy unless you was a total moron and she didn't think he was, actually. She looks up at him, grinning back, his infectious.* How many Brothers and Sisters you got then? *Bea asked, unprompted, wondering if there was more she'd not seen before or what.* Fraze: *He was pure made up to be doing this, he weren't allowed when it was him and his big brother together, though they did it secretly when ma and da weren't about to stop 'em, this was different. Proper. They'd asked and they'd got, that didn't just fucking happen, day to day. Not to him. Not with his ma. So there was no pretending he weren't happy. Simple as. He was bouncing on his heels all the way along, free and loving it, like. Fraze didn't look back once, wouldn't. He barely stole any the girl walking with him, 'til she spoke, breaking the easy silence. His eyes met hers then, searching for how she felt in spite of the grin he could see, making sure. Taking it serious, everything his ma hadn't needed to tell him to do and he hadn't needed to promise to. He shrugged at the question, surprised if she really didn't know already 'cause for some reason it was always something people did.* 2 Brothers and a sister. *He grimaced at that word same as he had with 'please'.* But she's just a baby, like. Whatever. *He meant that. Ali weren't annoying yet. Less than Tommo already was, following 'em about like a little shadow. Fuck that and fuck off.* Ma and da like me best though. *He laughed. The boast was half true, he was his da's fave, way more than Joe, who was a mama's boy. Like or nah. *An' they got a girl now so they ain't need no more, thank Christ. *He paused, looking at her again as he remembered what she'd said before about her own family, the only thing he knew about her other than her name and her anger. His eyes and voice both softened as he spoke up.* Soz 'bout your ma. That's shit. Bea: *He had loads of energy, like. It was hard for Bea to keep up, honestly, but she did her best not to let it show. That was par for the course when you never got enough food or enough sleep, you get used to faking an acceptable, undetectable level of 'fine' to keep from the more exhausting conversations no one wants to have. Simple as. Still, conversationally, he was easy to keep up with. So she had seen them all before. Bea nodded, pleased she had some experience to relate to what he was saying.* My sister too. *It was hard to tell how old babies were, they all sort of looked the same but she reckoned Luce was a bit younger than the little girl she'd seen with Fraze's Dad a few times. Fatter though, and she didn't walk yet or say much. It worried her a lot but she didn't wanna think about that right now when she had all the other time in the world to do that, right now she actually had something else, so appreciate it whilst it lasts. She laughs, meaning it, ruffling his hair like his Mum had, having to get on her tiptoes to reach.* Nah, bet they tell you off ALL the time. Bet you're- *She gets off him, quick, shrugging away, pulling her jacket 'round her tight but making a sound like she ain't even bothered, though she's walking faster.* If you reckon that's shit, my Dad's dead too so wha'd'ya think to that? Fraze: *Fuck's sake. It was going decent, she liked him again, he could see it, hear it when she laughed and feel it when she took the piss that it was playful same as before with the crisp bag, but he didn't keep his mouth shut and let it be. Why? She was the one with the dead ma, she knew how shit it was without him to tell her. Knobhead. She turned into Joe when their ma and da came home late or they woke up in the night 'cause the door was going again, like. If he tried another sorry she might hit him, or worse, cry like she reckoned she never. Either way, she wouldn't hear the apology 'cause she didn't want it. He blinked hard, scratching the back of his neck as he caught up with her increased stride. That bit was easy, finding something to say weren't. Fraze frowned and thought. It came to him after a sec.* I reckon you'll do all right, my ma and da don't have parents, never have, and they're sound. *He pulled the girl back by the sleeve of her coat, not rough like he would've if she actually was his brother, but insistent still, looking at her.* You won my ma round, like, and that ain't something I can do. Bea: *More nodding. Least that made sense, why his Mum had been nice to her, like. Dead Parents club. They didn't call it that, but she'd overheard him telling some well-meaning old biddies that that's where she went...Support group? Yeah, support group, that he'd found a really amazing one for her with other kids with dead Parents, sometimes dead Brothers and Sisters too, for a change. It was all bollocks, she didn't go nothing like that. Fuck, probably reckons if he lets her start chatting that all his secrets and feelings will come spilling out, never mind her own. Joke. She didn't really feel much about her Parents anyway, truly. No offense. Didn't have time for it. If she ever had the luxury of time to think on them, she just got angry at them for leaving her here because if they hadn't, all the rest of her problems wouldn't exist, so then she would have time to miss 'em like everyone reckoned she must/should. When Fraze pulls her back, she considers telling him, God, not all of this, but some of it, she decides against it, though. HIS Parents ain't dead, after all, and holy fuck she bets nothing like what's happening to her has EVER happened to him; So he ain't gonna get it, couldn't. She shrugs, less aggressively than before, sort of smiling that weird half-smile that was a bit sad too, that she'd learnt from the films, fluttering her eyelashes at him all for effect.* I am cuter than you. Fraze: *There was a huge part of him, growing every second, it felt like, that wanted to know what going on, behind everything, but just like his ma (who never even locked the bathroom door but still kept 'em all at arms length still) he had no clue how to get Katie to show or tell him either. He couldn't scream at her or hit her. You weren't allowed to do shit like that to girls, and everyone else saw her as one even if them two didn't, so he'd get in trouble if he dared try anyway. And he didn't, dare, like. Not 'cause he wanted sweets, fuck them honestly by now, he'd basically forgot 'bout the whole debt thing. But 'cause he couldn't stop thinking about her coming to the cafe with him and maybe tomorrow, sitting together 'cause they wanted to, instead of miss saying they had to. He shrugged back, staring at her openly, fed up with so many secrets around all the time. Fuck cute, that was for babies and animals and that. She was more. Impressive and fierce and...what? He needed to find a word for the new girl that was just better. Cooler. Properly decent. Something that fit.* You ain't cute, you're boss. Bea: *It isn't that the prolonged eye contact made her uncomfortable, it was that it DIDN'T, and she didn't know what to do with that at all. She was used to people looking at her, and those people and their looks making her want to rip off her own skin because it crawled so much. As much as their hands and eyes would roam all over her and- And she knew what to do with them, stare back, to hide all that...grossness, that she felt underneath, because that's what they wanted to see, so you couldn't let 'em. She had to make it hard for them, not as fun, or else, what the fuck did she have? But Fraze wasn't looking at her like that. Or making her feel any of that. But she felt SOMETHING, not nothing, like when people looked her up and down who didn't know. What did he know, though? It was confusing. Bit like the word he called her. She still didn't know exactly what it meant, when they said it the way they did 'round here, but she knew it was a good thing so she was happy. She smiled, opening and holding the shop door for him with a wink as they reached it.* You'll see. Fraze: *She smiled and he was back to winning. Nah, feeling like a winner was more like it. He smiled back, putting his weight on the door before it could knock her over, like. She really was tiny, smaller than any other girl in their class by loads but he'd never noticed until she squared up to his ma just now, which didn't make sense 'cause 'course that made her seem bigger. Why was he thinking 'bout how she looked anyway? Weird that. She weren't no boy he was looking to fight, working out his odds and that was the only time size mattered. Fraze told himself to shut his gob and went in, looking 'round 'til he found where the sweets were and went towards 'em. This shop had shit loads, if he had spends he could go well mad in here, like. Get more than a handful of his faves. His ma hadn't given him any though so that weren't likely, was it? He could hear her voice in his ear, saying 'take what you can get, kid' so he started filling one of the little paper bags with Sherbet Lemons, but he'd only thrown a few in, nowhere near enough to stop her owing him, when something else drowned out that wisdom. He turned back to the girl, sharply, stopping. Fraze kept his voice low, trying not to embarrass her again.* How you gonna buy these without any money? Bea: *Al was a nervous sort of man but Bea could see he was even more nervous than usual now that she wasn't alone, his eyes darting back to Fraze enough to be odd but he clearly couldn't help it. Probably reckoning the little girl had told the little boy all the bad things unassuming old Al liked to get up to with her. She grinned at the man fiercely, taking power in that thought, linking her arm with the boy's and Al smiled back best he could, all meek and licking his lips even five seconds making them all wet. Disgusting. Bea peered down into Fraze's pink striped bag and frowned up at him, talking loud to show she could, it weren't no secret.* Get more! Get stuff for your Brother's and Sister too, if you like. We can have whatever we want. Al and me are good friends, aren't we Al? *A mumbled 'Oh erm, yes, of course we are. Help yourselves, kids. Any friend of Katie's...' as he worried the skin on the back on his neck, coughing into his elbow furiously, going pink like Fraze had earlier with his Mum.* Bea made a big show of peering at every shelf, taking her time, 'Hmm'ing' out loud, tapping her index finger on her lips, in time to the tapping of her foot. She was really taking the piss today, trying a 'sample' of every pick 'n' mix going, shoveling jellybeans into her mouth and handing the boy as many, firing them into his mouth, see if he could catch them. It was a right laugh. Made better by the fact Al was getting mad but still couldn't do anything, even when she 'accidentally' knocked over a whole display of chocolate bars. He was still just laughing, in such a nervous, fake way and tutting over the top dramatic, cleaning up behind 'em. The power she felt in him being able to do fuck all was immense, it was why she came back every day. It was why he was so mean when he got his chance. Worth it though. Worth it to make him fucking squirm. In the end she got some of those little sugar mice for Luce, they were kinda gross and she didn't really like letting her sister eat them either (she was big enough and everyone knew sweets were bad for you) but her little sister loved it when Bea made them scurry about, pretending to nibble on the mouldy cheese way past the turn, acting like they were gonna bite the horrible dog's tail off, she proper giggled, like- Yeah, those for Luce and she didn't really fancy anything herself, feeling sick from how much she'd ate just to show her accomplice that she could, to show Al too. She felt full as well though that was impossible. Full of it, like. That's what she'd heard Miss say about the freckly face in front of her, dead affectionate though, like, not on a day when he was actually winding her up proper. He was just...likable. Bea liked him, she decided. Pulling him out the door, giggling, waggling her fingers at Al behind 'em who looked like he was about to cry, the absolute pussy.* If you come back with me again, you can have more, don't have to share your lunch or nothing. Just don't tell no one else. I only share my secrets with people who are worthy, okay? Only us can do it, not even your Brother can come...No offense. *She stuck her pinky out again.* Deal? Fraze: *Linking arms was the kind of playground shit that stupid girls did and he didn't like it, but he liked that she did, that she was over the top happy from the first sec she did it so he didn't pull away. Besides, the bloke weren't happy 'bout none of it, and Fraze liked him even less. Instantly. He was the kind of bell end his ma warned 'em off of, he felt that. Acting all nice to hide the sketchy. Loads of 'em did it, you had to have your wits, like. And a decent jab, which his da had taught him an' all. The way Katie called him a friend got his back proper up, not just 'cause he wanted to be hers, though he did. It was the way she said it, with the same voice his ma and da used when people came 'round, late. He felt sick over it, didn't want anything, would rather she was a dipper too, like him and Joe sometimes were, with little things you could hide easy. But every time he tried to shake his head nah or get words out to tell her they should just bail now, fuck this for a bad idea, the girl handed him something. It was tempting to go home the hero, sweets for everyone and as many inside him, like. He couldn't deny that. And anyway, if this man was a wrong'un then he was owed it. Worse too. Until he could tell someone, maybe make his da come 'round and scare the cunt then why not, yeah? They were good sweets, he couldn't deny that either, especially when she made a game of getting him to catch 'em. He laughed with none of the nervousness he felt in his guts when Katie did that, finding it even funnier when they fell on the floor. Al would have to sweep each of 'em up. Have fun, knobhead. He grinned wider than he had before now, 'til it almost hurt, picking out loads more sweets and chocolate than his ma would ever let him keep hold of, just 'cause. If he could leave this place with empty shelves, he would, to see how smiley Al would feel 'bout him taking everything. His ma would be proud of that much, he reckoned. It made him feel better, a bit. Brave enough to stick his own fingers up at the bloke when she waved, like it was how he treated shitty adults as standard. Still, he breathed out a huge breath once they properly left. The street under his feet felt massive suddenly and well bright. Fraze shook his too heavy head, only stopping when his new mate spoke to him, his eyes widening instead, both eyebrows rising up really high. That was alright by him, it meant he didn't have to ask any stupid questions when his face did that for him. A hand ran through his short blonde hair, too many thoughts to think.* Okay. Yeah. *He couldn't help grinning again, he knew she was only saying that stuff about him so he'd keep his mouth shut, but he liked it. Being treated like a winner by someone else without a fight and having a secret that even Joe wouldn't know. Sharing it with her. He nodded, redoing the promise. It didn't feel decent enough though, not for now, and not as soon as he'd had a better idea. The boy spat into his palm quickly and held it out for the other to shake.* Deal. Bea: *She knew what the other girls in their class would do if Fraze so much as attempted to do this with them, (though, why would he? He was always just playfighting with the other lads and generally tormenting the girls that came near and tried to make him play Mums and Dads with them or something), they'd shriek in horror and run away, hysterical giggling or crying, either to tell the Teacher or talk to the other prissy girls about how gross boys were. Bea just reckoned they were lucky if a bit of spit was really the grossest thing they could imagine. How lucky to be such a little Princess that you never have to touch anything unpleasant, that you can run and scream, and people will listen. She spat into her own palm, with more enthusiasm than necessary, (fueled by her annoyance at every other girl who wouldn't), and shook his hand real strong, like, looking him square in the eye, serious.* No takebacks. Your Mum will let you now she knows me so don't be tryna get out of it, alright? I'll know. *She poked him in the chest to show she meant it, but turned her serious tone into a playful one, grinning again, wiping their spit onto the chest of his School jumper.* Boss, yeah? Fraze: *He didn't know how he knew she'd do it before she did, he just reckoned she would. Without any of the other bullshit other girls brought with 'em, like screaming or telling tales of him. Anyway, who was she gonna tell, her granddad? He weren't scared of no coffin dodger and she hadn't called by him that anyway, so maybe she could stick him less than the teachers. Sounded like it, and yeah, if he knew more blokes like Al, no wonder. Fuck it, he weren't sorry 'bout spitting and he didn't have to be, 'cause she'd done the same back before he could even blink. So there. All Fraze could do now was hold her serious gaze.* I ain't never. I only say what I mean, nothin' else. And I reckon I like you, now. Kid. *He added the last word with a cheeky grin, doing the best impression of his ma's voice that he could, which by his own reckoning was pure decent. He'd practiced a lot, like, to make Joe and the younger 'uns laugh. He hoped she would too, fingers crossed. Every grin of hers made him do it too, if he realised or nah, but the boy felt this one, how it kept growing when she was grosser than him. He looked down at her hand when it touched him, small as fuck, but really strong against his chest. He wanted to put his own on top of it, or something, for a sec, 'til he blinked the moment away. Don't be stupid, he told himself, as quick. Why would Katie want that? Why did he? He forced himself to look away, blushing, a bit. Fucking hell. This was the most embarrassing thing that'd happened all day. He shrugged hard, pretending it was that easy to get past it. His voice, only his own again, steady and loud.* Yeah. You comin' to the cafe then? Bea: *Her face hurt from how big she was beaming but she didn't mind none, didn't even care how much she was showing all her cards right now, 'cos he had first so that made it alright for her as well. It was nice, different, but still nice. She really hoped he meant it and they could have some more fun, get in some more trouble. It'd make her days a bit less shit, she'd have less time to think about when she had to go 'Home'. No sense worrying 'bout it whilst she weren't there, couldn't be, HAD to be in School. It'd be ace if they could be kinda mates. Bea even let the 'Kid' slide because it was funny how much he could make himself sound like his Mum, she laughed, able to see the funny side when the woman herself weren't the one saying it at her. She felt him tense up under her fist, she didn't know why but instinctively dropped it back to her side, feeling bad she'd made him feel bad, though she didn't get it. Not like he was afraid of her, like he thought she was gonna thump him, surely? Maybe he thought she was gross? She let it slide, as well, knowing he'd only get dead moody if she tried to ask, (she would've too so), walking further on in the direction of the cafe. It was her turn to tense up. She wanted to. Even though his Mum and Brother would be there too, she really did want to stay with him, keep having a nice time. A lot, actually. But Luce...Bea bit her lip, conflicted. What was ten more minutes? But, how much would she enjoy them when she knew anything could happen in a split second and it was bad enough she had to spend 6 hours every day away from her, not able to keep an eye on Nan, keep her Sister safe.* Will your Mum put my coke in a to-go cup for me? I can't stay long. I have to go look after my baby Sister. Fraze: *She hadn't said nah and that put the smile back on his face, though his face still felt a bit hot from the hand thing and his stomach was doing that twisty shit again 'cause it was ready for her to go running off home and keep him waiting for tomorrow, like. That's what girls did, yeah? He'd seen it on telly and heard it from the lads at the park, both couldn't be wrong. No way. So she was different and he was lucky. And today was a good day where this girl kept being boss. End of. He weren't gonna ask why. Alright, maybe later when she had properly gone and he was in bed, trying to sleep, but not now. While they could, Fraze intended on having as much fun as they could. It weren't like he'd forgotten that he needed to impress her too for everything she'd already done. Easy it'd be 'cause they had ages before it was time to go pick the others up and head home. All he had to do was think of something that she'd reckon was 'worthy' again. He weren't no thicko, he'd get it done. Somehow. He was about to open the door, holding it open for Katie this time, when he worked out that she'd stopped. He hung back with her, waiting for the reason. It weren't the one he expected, 'bout getting in trouble for staying out or feeling sick from so many sweets and he blinked for what felt like the hundred millionth time that day. What? He looked at her confused.* Can't your nan or grandda do that? But yeah, she will. 'Course. Anything for one of my mates, like. Bea: *Any potential annoyance at him not getting it was assuaged by him calling her his mate. It felt good, on the inside, it was her turn to go pink, facing away so he couldn't see it, that and her stupid big smile. She weren't even arsed about all the kids at School who wouldn't be her friend, because they clearly didn't know shit, why'd she wanna be friends with idiots like that? And she reckoned him the same before but he was showing he was different now, somehow, even if she hadn't totally pinned down how, yet. It didn't matter, if they were mates, she'd have time to work him out, she was smart enough. Easy. She shrugged, being casual with it as she walked in the cafe, like it weren't the big deal it was.* ... Sure, but she makes me help her. *Rolling her eyes at him all 'adults, yeah?', making it as relatable as she could, like, come on, get it and drop it quick.* Fraze: *He nodded, pulling a face of his own 'cause his ma was like that, on at him if he told Tommo to fuck off even though he weren't the one being annoying in the first place. So what if that was his little brother's first words? He'd fit right in then, yeah? You're welcome, like. He could answer the door for 'em next time armed with that and all the pointing he did. The grimace turned realer then, he'd only said the stuff in his head but Fraze just couldn't joke about that shit. Never. It made him scared and weren't having that ever, but especially now, with her. He nodded at his ma as they walked in, exaggeratedly as he made his fingers into a gun and put it to his head, miming dead for a sec after, to show Katie he knew exactly what she meant and 'course it was the same for him. He pulled out a chair for the girl at the table Joe was sat at, homework book already out, the one next to empty seat he was gonna take though. It didn't take long after they'd sat down for his ma to come over too and he told her quickly what they both wanted so she'd go again. He'd been embarrassed enough by her, knowing she'd ruffle his hair again on her way past to piss him off. It was fucking worse, she told him that they had to share 'cause she weren't 'made of money' even when he basically shouted back at her that Katie had to leave soon, trying his best to barter for the cup deal. FUCKING HELL. It was this table's turn for a kick and his to get pulled up by his collar so his ma could 'have a quiet word in his ear'. The whole cafe knew what she was really saying. His fists clenched as he went, no chance of calming down as he stared back at the two of them left at the table.* Bea: *Bea watched the whole performance from start to finish, mix of amusement and curiosity, sat passively on her chosen-for-her chair, opposite Fraze's Brother, who sat as passive. More. He wasn't even slightly interested, it seemed, barely looking up when voices were raised, tables kicked and his Brother dragged off. She got it. Your normal's your normal, no matter how unlike anyone else's it might be. God, she got it. The things she knew were bad that she didn't bat an eyelid at now, blinking like her friend had whenever she said something he weren't reckoning on. When him and his Ma were gone out back, she turned to properly study the Brother, Joe, weren't it? You wouldn't pin 'em as Brothers, for a start. He was dark where Fraze was blonde, long hair 'stead of short, shorter than him too even though he was the year above, brown eyes where his were blue, devoid of any freckles when the other boy was entirely covered. Opposites. Again, she got it. She loved her little sister but she was the weirdest looking thing and she was glad she didn't look like that, sorry Luce. The boy, Joe, smiled up at her, bit nervous, she smiled back, apologetically, not meaning to have been staring for that long. She didn't get out her Homework, no intention of doing it, even if she had the time. She sipped on the shared coke, taking the blue straw so Fraze would have to have the pink, smirking. It was a funny taste, but it seemed grown-up. She'd only had coke before now from stealing the dregs other people left in places like McDonalds. Pretending to be with this family or that, she'd never been noticed, good at looking like she belonged somehow. Her friend came back scowling, slumping in his seat dramatically. She pushed the glass over to him, like he had his lunch earlier today, nudging him with her shoulder to say 'Cheer up, mate'.* Fraze: *He was so fucking mad, knowing that his first shot at impressing the girl was gone already and not reckoning on having long for another, if she was even still there when he got back. Joe could make her wanna leave by being west in his own way if their ma didn't. He should've taken her someone else, somewhere pure cool, like the park, but he didn't reckon it until now, while he was meant to be listening to his telling off. Forget that shit though, it was always the same bollocks over and over, them reckoning he should do what they never did themselves. His ma and da weren't calm. Joe weren't, still as he sat. So why should he listen? It was stupid. Yeah, alright his ma didn't have loads of spends but neither did Katie and look at all the sweets he'd got. She coulda stretched to another coke to make him look boss too, if she'd wanted. But nah, she wanted to keep him a baby. Fraze didn't make a sound, dared not 'cause it'd make her keep him here longer away from his brother and mate, but he grimaced through every sec. Couldn't not, like. 'Til his ma started saying stuff he didn't expect, questions about Katie which made his eyes widen (again). There weren't much else he could give her, answers wise, all he knew 'bout this girl really was that she had a baby sister too, dead parents and lived with her grandparents (he didn't have any to compare to, 'course but they sounded annoying) He weren't gonna tell anyone 'bout Al, he'd promised and there weren't anything to say even if he hadn't. It was more of a feeling he had, not words and thoughts. How was he meant to explain that? If there'd been no promise, or he was a snitch, his ma still weren't giving him chance, talking and talking herself. The only question out of loads that he did answer was when she asked him if they nicked the sweets she'd already clocked him having. He didn't want her thinking Katie was a dipper when she weren't and he definitely didn't want to be marched back into that bloke's shop and made to give 'em all back. No fucking way, tah. He waited for her to kick off or call him a liar ('cause it weren't the proper truth, leaving Al out the picture) but his ma just let him go back to the table with one of her looks ('cept not exactly, and not the kind he reckoned on getting either). He went, but it didn't feel like winning, even being back with his new friend. He didn't like that look or what it might mean if he brought this girl back to the cafe again.* Bea: *Bea didn't like how it felt now. Dead awkward. She knew his Mum didn't actually like her, yeah, shocker and give a shit, lady, stop staring at me too; but that was seeming to matter more now it wasn't just them two. Probably 'cos she'd got him in trouble with his Mum and he was angry with her now. Shit. She didn't mean to do that, like. Not trying to make and break friends on the same day. Oh well. Guessing she'd leave before she could make it any worse, she got up almost as soon as he was back, leaning over to take a big gulp of the drink as she did.* Thanks for the drink. *She raised her voice loud enough so his Mum would hear too, show she had manners, actually.* See you tomorrow then? Fraze: *Fraze wanted to kill his ma right then and if looks could kill, he would've, without feeling bad, at all, like. As soon as Katie got up, he moved himself, holding onto the sleeve of the coat she hadn't taken off (again) to keep her at the table she'd leaned over for longer, shaking his head.* Don't go yet. *His voice sounded dead weird and he was glad he couldn't see whatever the fuck his face looked like, 'cause he'd only wanna take the piss out of himself and now weren't the time.* We've got loads of homework, like. *He could give a fuck 'bout that, he weren't gonna do it and even if the new girl was, he knew she didn't need his help, miss loved to go on 'bout how proper smart Katie was, but it was the first thing he could think of. Fuck's sake. Maybe he was a thicko. Fingers crossed she'd reckon on what he actually meant and he wouldn't end up more embarrassed that he'd already been today. Worth a shot, yeah?* Bea: *She looked down at her cuff, and his hand attached firmly to it, still, looking back up to his face, resolve softening instantly, seeing how mad he WASN'T at her, just his Mum. Instinctively, she'd drawn her hand up into the coat when he'd made to grab her, but she now had a strong urge to reach down and grab his hand back, to hold it for a while. Her fingers felt itchy from it, but Bea resisted. Booting her dropped bag back under the table, she smiled, sitting down again. Leaning down to get the homework book and a pencil out.* Alright, boff. *She stuck her tongue out at him.* Fraze: *She sat back down next to him and he breathed out hard, but making it the kind of 'oh fuck off' sigh he'd heard both his parents do as he made a face back at her. It quickly turned into a wide grin though, Fraze couldn't help that, his ma was cleaning the other tables, Joe wasn't trying to be matey with his new one (he did shove some sweets his brother's way, just in case he was gonna open his mouth to say something) and she was sticking around. He was made up to take all that. Homework weren't gonna keep him happy, but he reckoned he could think of something else to do with his book if he tried hard. Thinking, the boy blew bubbles in the glass with his straw, biting down hard on the tip when he realised he had a pink one. Tah ma, bet that was you, an' all. He nudged Katie with his elbow, showing her his 'masterpiece' when was done. It didn't take long, it was piss easy to make a flipbook, his ma had shown him and Joe ages ago and it weren't hard to draw a version of their teacher getting a lunch tray dumped over her head by the last page. Not impressive either, but he couldn't raid the cafe kitchen like she had Al's shelves. He weren't doing this to score points anyway, just make her smile. Or maybe laugh, that'd be best.* Bea: *Bea watched him studiously, over his shoulder, uncaringly brazen like, so she could try and work out what exactly he was doing. She laughed happily when he showed her the finished product. It was like a tiny film or something, she had no idea how it worked but she thought it was really clever. Not to mention funny, especially the look he'd drawn on Miss' face.* Cool! Show me how. *She bet Luce would love these. She could make her ones about the dog and the mice, make up stories to go with them...Yeah, that'd be good, she'd think it was like magic, her big brown eyes shining out from her pudgy little face. Fraze obliged, clearly feeling proud to know something she didn't but he was a patient teacher with it too, her tongue poked out in sheer concentration. By the end, she'd drawn Al, slipping on some gumballs and falling straight on his big bum, mop bucket landing on his head to add insult to injury, crying big, fat cartoon tears. She grinned up at her friend, seeing if he liked it, and could tell who the fat, bespectacled old stickman was meant to be. She whispered in his ear, so the other's couldn't hear, the cafe quieting down as they got closer to closing time.* You didn't tell your Mum nothing, did you? Fraze: *She did laugh and it made him feel weird, but not in the bad way he had in the shop or his ma had with her questions. It was like when he was little like Tommo and his da used to chuck him around and flip him upside down, all that kind of shit. When he laughed too, Fraze couldn't get his breath properly, as if he'd run really far and fast, and his face hurt (the same as when he had contests with his boy mates to see how could fit the most food in their gob) 'cause he was grinning so much. It got wider once she asked him to show her how to make a flipbook and again when she had her own go, but he weren't mad. Couldn't be. Honestly, he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so NOT mad and not only that but happy instead. Happy, even though she was better at drawing than him by miles and normally he hated coming second at anything, announced out loud by somebody or in his own head, like. For a sec he almost told her how good she was, reckoning she'd like to hear it, but before he could, Katie got closer to him than she'd been up 'til now and he forgot any of them words. The upside down feeling was back, 'cause her hair was long and soft and it tickled his cheek when she moved (which should've been annoying but was only confusing 'cause it weren't ) and he knew it smelt nice but not why or what of. He knew too that, like her hand earlier, he wanted to touch it, but again, not why he did. He shook his head firmly no to both things, but couldn't stop himself from reaching to put every strand that'd got him behind her ear where it should be, telling himself it would get in the way of him talking into hers if he didn't.* 'Course not. I promised, didn't I? I always keep 'em. Bea: *She could tell he liked her, for real. She weren't being 'up herself' nor nothing, like everyone reckoned she was; But she couldn't help it when it was THAT obvious, could she? What was she meant to do? Ignore it? Pretend the opposite was true? That was just stupid, if you asked her. Anyway, she liked that it was obvious. Why was it meant to be all sly and secret and make you feel confused and wrong? It was like that with him, with all of them, and that was just... bad. Really bad. She appreciated how easy kids her own age made it. And it felt nice. Good. Nothing weird in it, she was the one in control too, knowing more than all of them always. Some of them didn't even know what it was, the feeling. She reckoned Fraze probably didn't. He didn't like girls, he'd said. He was one of those boys. The footie and fighting and running around being lairy boys. Some boys would play with the girls, preferred it, enjoying all the attention and love they got lavished on them if they were willing to be the Daddy, or worse, much worse, the Doctor. She'd kissed lots of boys under the slide, or in the Wendy House, when the Teachers weren't looking, but ONLY when they were being the Dad. Doctors and Nurses made her skin crawl. It made her wonder if these kids knew him like she knew him, the way they insisted on playing it. Too hands on, too in your face, too...everything. She'd give any boy, or girl for that matter, who came near her with the stupid plastic stethoscope a slap. No, that wasn't even the point right now. Focus on what he was saying, not doing. He's your friend, an actual friend, don't ruin this like you do with all the others who give you the time of day. They weren't going to kiss RIGHT NOW. In front of his Brother and Mum, for God's sake! So stupid. She shook her head, letting more strands of her strawberry blonde hair fall in front of her face, the tight ponytail she did before leaving the house a laughable mess by the end of the day, hair wild and essentially loose. It wasn't like she WANTED him to tuck the rest behind her ears too, nah. She smiled at him, a little breathless, a little pink, to show she weren't shaking her head at him, only herself.* Good. Me too. Fraze: *He smiled but couldn't look back at her at the same time, he needed to take a breath and a drink so he did both. Too fast, nearly knocking the glass of coke properly over. Thank fuck it only wobbled but didn't fall 'cause he was in enough trouble with his ma. Still, he shrugged, acting like even if he didn't mean to be that div, he didn't care that it'd happened. He was Fraze McKenna and he was cool, end of. Especially now she reckoned so too. This girl who weren't like the rest and he'd already told was well boss. He turned back to their homework books, clearing his throat, all 'ahem' like he'd seen loads of adults do before they said something important, like, deciding that now was the time to let her know what he reckoned to her picture of Al. He made his voice standard volume again, hoping his ma would hear it an' all ('cause she could draw or paint anything he'd ever thought up and asked her to do, unlike his da who weren't as decent as Katie, somehow.)* You're dead good at drawing, you know. Bea: *Bea went to steady the glass, grabbing it from him when it didn't fall and he was busy playing it off; taking a huge, gulp, finishing it for them with a grin.* 'Fore you're wearing it, like. *She explained, similarly loud enough for his Mum to hear too, the lady already not reckoning much to her manners as was. She smiled big and proud with the compliment he gave. Usually she didn't really care about approval or compliments or any of that shit from people, like Miss, definitely not from any of them. It was just telling her stuff, about herself, which she already knew? Like, thanks. Saying, well done, YOU'VE impressed ME. But from Fraze, it was I'M impressed by YOU. She didn't know if those things were really any different or if they just felt it, but it was like sunshine.* I just practice a lot really... *It was true. It was quiet, easy to do anywhere, when she couldn't sleep, when she weren't allowed to. And it was almost like being somewhere else when you could focus, see the picture so clearly in your head, put all your energy into trying to make it as real as possible on the page in front of you. .She did it to try and remember too. Where she'd lived before. Mum. Dad. It wasn't good enough to take her back, though. Maybe when she was older and really good, maybe then- No. Never. She shook her head. Invariably thinking about Luce now because that's how it worked, literal trade-off she hadn't asked for. That was mean. She was a baby. This wasn't her fault, she didn't ask for it either, she didn't do anything wrong- but neither did I, Bea thought.* I better get going now. *It probably seemed out of nowhere but it weren't, she'd stayed way longer than she should've, than she meant to. She really did have to leave this time. Running all the way Home, heart already thudding hard into her ribs before starting.* Thanks for lunch again. See ya tomorrow.

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Buster & Rio

Buster: Can you come over? I don't care if it has to be late Rio: What's wrong? Are you okay? Buster: No. And I don't wanna be alone here, with this shit, that'll make it worse Rio: Coming as soon as I can Rio: What has she said? Done? Buster: She's threatening to tell everyone about us and stop me seeing Jay if I don't dump you and get back with her Buster: It's fucking stupid and mostly not happening but Christ, I'm so tired Buster: And sick of her Rio: You know she can't stop you Rio: but if you have to then do Rio: Leave me, I mean, not the bit where you bow to her every whim and marry her at once Rio: if it makes it easier to keep seeing Jay, then I get it Rio: I don't know what I'll do but Buster: Fuck off. I won't. I love you Buster: I love Jay too, obviously, but like you said, she can't stop me seeing her Buster: I'll go to court, I don't care Rio: You know I love you too Rio: but I don't want to make your life any more difficult than it is already with her in it Buster: You're the only thing keeping me sane and you know it Buster: I can't lose you Rio: Okay Rio: You're sure? Rio: If you are, then I'll stand by you and support you 1000% Rio: Of course, I will Buster: 'Course I am. I know it felt a bit, I don't know how to even describe it, going from where we were to like bracelets and 'I love you's ' or whatever but it's been a long time coming, yeah? Buster: And I swear I mean it. I'm so sure Rio: Yeah Rio: Me too Rio: I just wish the rest wasn't such a fucking mess Rio: How are we going to face all the people we have to face Buster: I have no fucking clue, honestly, but I know I'll support you in whatever you wanna do or say Buster: We'll handle it together. Somehow Rio: I'm trying to think faster than she can post Rio: We have to get it out there before she does, right? Rio: At least it'll be the truth, I can own that better than whatever story she's concocting rn Buster: Yeah Buster: And it'll be better coming from us, I reckon, still a shock but Buster: They'll see where we're coming from instead of her POV Buster: Though maybe it's better for everyone to think we're just fucking and we can stop? I don't know Buster: That's what she believes Rio: But when we don't Rio: They're just going to think...Fuck knows Rio: I don't think it'll be good but Rio: I just don't know, I can't predict what anyone is going to think or say Rio: Do Buster: We could always let her post it and leave until some of the backlash dies down. Not what a mature dad would do like Buster: But Buster: She doesn't think I am anyway so whatever, yeah? Rio: Where are we going to go? Rio: We can't stay away forever Buster: This is such a headfuck Buster: There's no time Buster: Thriving under pressure is one thing, but she's proper ambushed us Rio: I know, I feel sick Rio: Stalking her feeds like its love Buster: I can't even bring myself to have anything open on my phone other than this convo Buster: How are we even gonna get everyone together to tell them? There's so many of the fuckers Rio: I don't know, mass group chat seems a little blasé Rio: Maybe, we tell the most important ones, and fast Rio: and then let them tell who they need to etc Rio: Let word of mouth do the rest Buster: Fucking hell, Nance is in NYC, I can't be like excuse the time difference but I've gotta just ruin your life again potentially really quick Rio: Oh, fuck Rio: I wish I didn't love you like I do Rio: would be so much simpler, wouldn't it Buster: I know, but don't say that again, okay? Buster: I told Chlo I don't regret you and I meant it Buster: Even if I have to let mum and dad tell Nance and let her think that's how little I care about her Rio: I'm sorry, I don't want it in any other way, and I only want it that way for your benefit Rio: I don't want to hurt you, ever Rio: Run to NYC? Buster: Good Buster: I would if I thought she'd have me. But I've got no right to ask her for that Rio: What if I ask? Rio: Obviously we'd need a place to stay when the shit hits the fan but at least you can do it in person Buster: Yeah Buster: She deserves that much after me being such a shit brother, as Chlo was quick to remind me Rio: You've had your moments but she still loves you, Buster Buster: Maybe she shouldn't Buster: Maybe I should just stay away from her Rio: Why? Buster: She's finally landed on her feet with uni like, she doesn't need me ruining everything for her again Buster: She's close to you and I've taken the piss so much already, she might not understand why I'm doing this Rio: I know but Chlo isn't going to help her understand, is she? Rio: If we're doing this Rio: if its worth it, we have to go in Rio: we're going to hurt people, and its gonna be fucking horrible Rio: but, it'll hurt me to have to leave you, and that's the only alternative we have left Buster: You're right. Making a habit of being, yeah? Buster: Looks like I'm getting on another flight then Buster: If I pass uni myself at this point nobody can say shit about my ego Rio: You know you can, you will Rio: Obviously you have to tell her alone Rio: but do you want me to come? Rio: I have the funds Buster: I want nothing more but what about your family? Besides Billie they are all here Buster: If you want to tell your parents first I can't blame you Rio: Maybe I'm being a coward, but I'm not convinced Chlo will actually do anything, she would've just done it, surely? I think if you can keep her talking, even if its arguing, it gives us time...like its all she has over you Rio: She'd be a moron (more than she is) to just let go of it that easy Buster: I reckon you're onto something, babe Buster: Or you just really want a holiday like Rio: How did you guess? Rio: Gonna have time and desire to see all the sights, like Rio: I just think...I don't know, she might wanna hear my side too, maybe, and it might help if she does Buster: Yeah Buster: I wish we could take Jay. I hate the thought of leaving her with Chlo right now Buster: And she can work any room, 'course Buster: No chance of staying mad with that face around Rio: Yeah Rio: I don't trust her as a Mum, I wouldn't say that just 'cos I'm the petty new woman, you know that Rio: I seriously don't Rio: but you said her 'rents are decent and do most of the work Rio: Sure they still will be, they'll look after her, even if Chlo won't Buster: Same. It's what scares me about her. More than anything she's ever threatened Buster: Thank Christ she still lives at home Buster: And Jay's too young to believe any shit she says against me Rio: She's going to know who you are, and what a good Dad you are Rio: You'd never let Chlo get away with that, and Jay wouldn't believe her over you Rio: who's put in the actual work, after-all Rio: just another thing she'll lament about, wah wah no one loves me Buster: I need to believe that or I'll properly crack up like Rio: Its the truth Rio: I promise you Buster: You're the best Buster: I know it shouldn't be a competition of who I fucked over more or whatever but you or Erin would never do this Rio: Most wouldn't Rio: Unlucky for you, you found one who will go above and beyond to fuck up your life Buster: Yeah Buster: How soon could you leave for NYC? Rio: As soon as you can Rio: Not ideal for either of us but Rio: Gotta be done Buster: I'm emailing my professors to get extensions and shit as we speak, not that a family emergency anywhere near covers it Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: No shorthand for this situation Rio: Though I'm sure they'd all love to know the drama Buster: Oh fuck, all my old friends are gonna lap this up Buster: Been waiting on my fall from grace Rio: Do you care? Rio: Most of them were cunts, has to be said Buster: Only thinking of you, babe. Not to late for you to hit up James again and choose him instead Rio: Please Rio: He was good for a warm bed and nothing else, you fool Rio: Try to forget that ever happened, like Buster: Good. Me too Rio: I already wanted you then Buster: I know Buster: And you know I did too, yeah? Rio: I knew for definite after Rio: Got no poker face and the jealousy was palpable, babe Buster: Fuck off Buster: Not my fault you're proper desirable Rio: Just write that on a postcard and be done with it, I reckon Rio: They'll all understand Buster: You just saved us a trip. Well done Rio: Always thinking, me Rio: Now we can hide forever just you and me Buster: I'm thinking my ma's poker face skipped a generation and my daughter got it all Buster: Yeah. I'm looking at flights there and not back, casually Rio: I reckon you might be right Rio: she certainly knows how to wrap you around her little finger already Buster: You being giving her sly lessons? I know her mother can't teach her anything about that Rio: What can I say? Make the most of my time Rio: Nah, just a girl after my own heart, like Buster: Take your word on that like Buster: We might need that hustle you've got if my parents disown me so can't complain Rio: They won't will they? Mine either Rio: Oh God Buster: I don't see how mine can after how they got together Buster: Basically brother and sister depending who you ask Buster: But who knows Rio: And everyone knows about Joe and Ronnie but they still talk to them Rio: am I just being stupid and naive thinking it might end up okay? Rio: not just wishful thinking is it Buster: True. I forgot about them, which shows how many fucks I give Buster: We can do this Buster: It ain't illegal, even if Chlo reckons otherwise. I could marry you if I wanted like Rio: Yeah, it'll just be adjusting to it Rio: like we had to Rio: all we can do is give everyone time Rio: but they can't make us not Buster: Let them be mad if they gotta but I ain't Buster: I love you too much Rio: I love you Rio: I have to be with you Rio: I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't have been there for me throughout all the bad shit Buster: I know you'd have made it, but I'm still glad I was there anyway Buster: If only 'cause I'm a selfish cunt Rio: I don't know Rio: I just know I don't just need you, I want you too Rio: That's all Buster: I feel the same, trust me Buster: I know it's stupid but I can't help wondering what Edie would make of this Rio: Probably thank me for taking the heat off her... Rio: I think she'd get it, she got most things, even the shit other people didn't want to touch Buster: Yeah Buster: We can get a flight tomorrow if I throw enough cash at it. Can you handle that? Rio: Yes Rio: Let's do this Buster: Make sure you tell Indie at least Buster: We can worry about Nance at the last possible moment Rio: Will do, at least she can cover for me if needs Buster: My mum and dad probably won't notice I've gone unless Chlo goes through with her threat and the shit hits the fan Rio: She's not got the bottle Rio: We'll be back to tell them as soon as we can Buster: Actually want you to be a know-it-all Buster: What's the world come to? Rio: Fuck knows, babe Rio: It ain't coming to an end though, not like she wants Buster: Come over tonight and I'll take you home to get packed in the AM Buster: Not leaving your side Rio: Of course Rio: I'm going to take care of you Buster: You can prove that to me later Buster: There's nothing I want more Rio: I'm going to Rio: Gonna show you why I'm worth this Buster: I already know Buster: But I'm always ready for you to tell me again Rio: You deserve it Buster: So do you, babe Rio: I love you so fucking much Buster: I love you too Buster: No matter what Rio: We're gonna have it all, remember? Buster: I won't forget Buster: I'm packing and I swear any drawer I pull out either has something of Jay's in or something that doesn't belong there which she's helpfully put there Buster: It doesn't feel like she was here long enough to do all that Buster: And it's gonna kill me if I can't see her again sometime soon Rio: You will Rio: That's why we're sorting this now, and not running Rio: For her, yeah? Buster: Us too though. 'Cause it has to be better in the long run Buster: We've done our share of lying and not saying what we mean Rio: Yeah Rio: We would've always had to have done this Rio: or stop Rio: she's forced our hand but Rio: I'm so tired of the lies anyway Buster: Agreed. Tempting as it'd be to wait until Jay's in college herself, I can't either Buster: She's done us a favor really, which she'll love Rio: Yeah, let that fuel you Rio: She's going to get nothing from this, she's only gonna fuck herself up Buster: Exactly. I tried to warn her as much Rio: She can't be told anything Rio: Fuck her Buster: Not again, cheers Rio: I'd be jealous but even my brain can't make that scenario believable Buster: Thank Christ 'cause if it could I'd have to reckon you don't know me like I thought you did Rio: No one's that self-destructive Rio: Not even you Buster: No arguments here Rio: Good Buster: Bad enough I did it the once Rio: Thank God for Jay Rio: otherwise that'd be nothing but an awkward regret forreal Buster: Any other mother if I could though, honestly Buster: I'd rather it was Indie even Rio: Um, I wouldn't Rio: She is all you though, sure you could've got her from someone else like Buster: Yeah? You reckon Buster: I wonder what the next one will be like when she's born Rio: Same Rio: Exciting Buster: We've been throwing some names around and none of them have made me cringe like Chlo's choice of middle name for Jay so that's a start Rio: That's a start Rio: All I know is she'll be dead cute too Buster: I'm sure Erin will be well happy you feel that way about her like Buster: But seriously, you're too much and I can't get enough of you still Rio: Shut up, she might not legit try and murder me like Chlo but I still don't think I should try my luck, like Buster: You'd be within your rights to murder Chlo yourself, some of the shit she said Rio: Yeah? Rio: Can't say I'm surprised Buster: I wasn't either Buster: Shut her up anyway though Rio: 'Course you did, so chivalrous forever Rio: My hero Buster: What can I say? I know what you like Buster: She tried to talk shit about Nancy too Rio: Cunt Rio: Nance is 10 times the person she'll ever be Buster: Yeah Buster: She proved it by bringing her up, as if she hadn't done enough already Buster: Trying to call her a freak 'cause in her mind it compares, the monsters she reckons we are and Nance being gay Rio: Shown herself up there Rio: Think what you like about us but get with the times on the gay thing, babe Buster: And she thinks she's the one fit to raise my daughter while I ain't Buster: Jay could be gay for all we know Rio: I don't think she even thinks that, she just chats shit for her own benefit Rio: She can't possibly think she's doing good Rio: Don't know if she cares Buster: Pretty sure she doesn't Buster: She basically said she only wanted Jay so she could play happy families with me Buster: Like there was no point to being a parent if she couldn't have that Rio: What the fuck Rio: She's so Rio: You had no say, she did Rio: she should've really wanted her Rio: So horrible Buster: I wish I could take Jay off her but there's no way Rio: Yeah that'd be near impossible Rio: She's not that level of awful Rio: When you're finished with Uni, set up, she'll have to custody share properly Rio: Get that sorted Buster: Yeah Buster: Maybe she'll get better over time, once the new baby is here and me and you are still going strong, giving her no choice but to accept things even if she doesn't want to see sense Rio: Can but hope, babe Buster: Fuck it I'm coming there. I need a drink. Buster: And seeing you wouldn't hurt either Rio: Yeah? Rio: I won't be mad about that either Buster: I'll stay until you're done. Keep you company like you've done for me Rio: I'll get to pouring Buster: Good Buster: Be there soon

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